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#Psychoanalyzing fictional characters
hopey-thinks · 5 months
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Knives and ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) (spoilers in post)
To preface this, I’d like to say I am not trying to demonize people who have antisocial personality disorder (sometimes also referred to as sociopathy). I am not saying that people with ASPD would do the things Knives does or are automatically bad people, nor am I saying that Knives is possibly a sociopath only because of the atrocities he commits. I am simply trying to get a better understanding of Knives’s psychology as a character.
With that out of the way, I’ve been learning a lot about personality disorders in my psychology class, and I’ve done quite a significant amount of research in and outside of class about personality disorders (including reading about it them in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders fifth edition text revision).
This comes to my current predicament. My teacher wanted us to think of examples in media of characters that exhibit certain personality disorders. I was particularly fascinated with the nature of ASPD, so I zeroed in my research on that disorder in particular. The first characters that came to mind for me were The Joker and Ren Yamai from Komi Can’t Communicate, but in my trigun brainrot I realized that Knives would actually be a very interesting character to consider.
While he meets most of the diagnostic criteria according to the DSM-5-TR, there are some things that are making me wonder if he actually has antisocial personality disorder. Mainly his motives.
I’ve seen a lot of discourse about his motivations. And the two most common interpretations I’ve seen are the following:
he genuinely believes that he’s helping the plants and doing what he’s doing selflessly for them and the benefit of them. He also genuinely cares about Vash and the Plants and is doing what he’s doing for “the greater good.” He is only hurting humans because they are destructive towards plants, and only hates them because they are cruel. If this is the case, he likely isn’t someone with antisocial personality disorder because his entire philosophy is based off of pro social, albeit extremely immoral and flawed motivations and ideas since he doesn’t consider humans a part of his social group.
Knives has convinced himself that he is fighting for the greater good of the plants to rationalize his cognitive dissonance, but that’s not what he’s actually trying to do deep down. His true motivation (which he is not something he is consciously aware of) is simply because he wants to hurt and kill humans out of his own fear of them and because of their inferiority. Essentially, he’s actually doing it all for himself and to quell his own fears and not because he actually cares about the safety or autonomy of other plants. In this case, he would be more likely to have antisocial personality disorder because his true motives aren’t in service of anyone else’s rights or benefits, and he exhibits antisocial behaviors towards the beings he does consider a part of his social group (plants). He also doesn’t actually care about Vash as his family, but only as a means to achieve his goals and be part of his plan.
There’s a lot more nuance to it than that of course, but in my personal interpretation I’d say Knives seems to align more with the second description. Here’s why: He consistently shows disregard for the autonomy, rights, and wants of other plants, especially Vash, and will exploit them just as awfully as the humans he hates have if it means achieving what he wants for his vision. This creates cognitive dissonance because he simaltaneously believes he’s a good person who is improving the world by doing that, but the humans who do that are bad and destroying the world by doing the exact same thing. So he rationalizes it by thinking he’s different because “it’s for the greater good of all plants and those who oppose me are preventing that” which then created more cognitive dissonance because he can’t exploit and abuse the plants without a second thought while also fighting for their rights and caring for them. The rights and safety of other plants don’t matter to him if they conflict with what he wants to do. Which would make the true motivation in this case, wanting to hurt humans out of his own fear and hatred (which developed because of his trauma), make sense.
When you think about Knives’s actions, you come to find that he cares more about hurting and destroying humanity than helping plants. He is fine with hurting the plants to hurt humanity, rather than hurting humanity simply for the good of the plants. He prioritizes “cleansing” the world of humanity over the actual lives of plants.
Here’s why I made this post. I think Knives is a very complex and fascinating character, and would like to hear other people’s perspectives and interpretations of him, especially in relation to his psychology and possible disorders he may have. So if you’d like to join me in psychoanalyzing him, I would appreciate hearing your opinion in a respectful discussion under this post. I’m especially curious about what any psychologists here might think, and I hope I can learn something new and also be corrected and get a better understanding if I’m wrong.
Ik this seems really strange that I’m writing and thinking so much about the psychology of someone who isn’t even real, but I just really like character analysis and think it’s interesting to see psychological concepts in media.
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gauntlings · 3 months
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hey how much do you think rebecca actually relates to A, especially if you're romancing them. do you think rebecca empathizes because looking at A is like looking in a mirror. rebecca tells the detective how much they remind her of rook, and her greatest fear is losing her child like she lost her husband. in that scenario, wouldnt that make A the most like rebecca?
the way rebecca can express love verbally, in sentiment (sometimes), but how deeply she struggles to show it. do you think rebecca sees her child in pain -- at the hands of someone who always keeps the detective at arms length, just like she did.
do you think some part of her wants to hate A for it, but never could. because maybe it is selfish, maybe it is hypocritical. because she cannot hope to be forgiven if she cannot forgive in kind. even if it means forgiving the one who is actively hurting her child the most. having to justify (as she always justifies) that it, horrifyingly, comes from a place of love.
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wasteland-wrecker · 2 months
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ily..... sorry if you've ever answered this but have you ever drawn modern au gage and toby? or do you have hcs?
Hey there! <3
I’m not a big au fan but… here we go! ✨
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Thank you for asking, I have this big headcanon:
Gage is not so good in bed. He is probably a virgin, let me explain you why.
🔞🔞🔞
From what we know about his past and the way he talks I'm pretty sure he's never had s3x with anyone or at least no long-term, positive experience.
Lines like "…you wouldn’t want nothin to do with me, not with the fucked up life I’ve had” denotes he is AWARE of the cruelty of the world he lives in. He has seen shit his whole life. I don’t think he had the time to even think about s3x.
Or “I ain’t never done anything like this. Ain’t sure it’d work, you know?”
When you ask him about your relationship he says “… I don’t like talking about feelings and shit. We’re… we’re great, you know that”. Zero experience, come on.
This means he gets embarrassed and that he’s worried about other people’s opinions (which is quite strange for a wastelander and a raider) one of his lines is like “if I die killed by a bug, tell everyone I accidentally stomped on my gun and killed myself”. (Yeah, who cares???)
And, speaking of raiders, he’s lived his whole life as one of them and when he talks to you (a complete stranger!!) in private he calls them “fucking raiders” (you okay man?! Need to talk or something?!).
It seems clear that none of these raiders have ever made its way into his sensitive little heart. He’s faking, pretending to be something he’s truly not.
And I don’t think he’s ever had anything to do with settlers. I can’t even imagine him r4ping someone, from that point of view he has a strong integrity (at most he’ll piss on your corpse ✨)
No one has ever made him feel safe, he says that to you when he opens up. Gage must completely trust his partner to have s3x with him/her/them. He must be sure he won’t be betrayed or killed.
And his past makes it clear that he no longer trusts anyone, apart from himself.
I might also add that the fact that he doesn't take baths indicates a sort of disinterest in the subject.
Gage often complains during trips and it means that he worries about stuff (like rads, chems, alcohol, bad smells - yeah he does I can prove it).
Do you think someone so attentive to what surrounds him and the consequences of his actions wouldn’t care about sexual diseases and sleeping with just anyone? I’m sorry but I don't see it.
He surely m4sturbates often, I can agree with that. He has very indecent thoughts as well and he’s horny af. He probably likes it rough, yes. (He loves to read erotic books OF THIS I’M SURE 10000%) But don't come and tell me that he is a S3x Lord Master or something because I have an hard time believing that (surely with a good experience he can become one, but not when you first know him).
Last, but not least, let’s not forget the fact that his name’s GAGE and he wears a fuckin CAGE all the time (to keep people away from him). The end.
Alright uh, my hand slipped on this hc lol, let me know if you want more anon and I’ll answer you in another post 😭 (shorter I promise) or you can read this post
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nickythehickey · 5 days
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yknow back at like episode 5 i thought booker being a bit of an alcoholic was like a running joke, but chat i don't think its a joke anymore i think booker's legitimately just an alcoholic like as a character trait
s2e4 really solidified this for me cus like. listen
basically everything about his dad is proof of possible genetic ties to addiction, despite normally trying to save money he will seek out alcohol even if it means paying extra (eg at the honeycomb inn), he at least tries to drink at any given opportunity esp going into or out of stressful situations (eg at the wartwallow pervert ball/at the foxhole after breaking out of jail), and now after a very depressing argument what does he do but get so wasted he potentially fucks up their whole heist plan
forgive my overanalysis of the funny raccoon bastard but one too many pieces have fallen together for me
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bedtimegiraffe · 8 months
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Here's my little essay about King Arlan (and a little bit about Baldur) and their complicated relationship with ruling effectively.
Arlan, the (overall) very good king
King Arlan is keeping the kingdom running well
In the very first lore tablet, you learn that, "King Arlan Valleros VII currently sits on the throne. Known as the Gentle King, Arlan has reigned over a period of great peace and prosperity."
Periods of great peace and prosperity are not easy! It's a combination of luck, delegating effectively, and putting in a ton of administrative work to make sure the laws and policies work for the unique situation your nation is in at this moment. That stuff does not happen on accident.
Based on Aerin's statements that he never really saw his father, I'm assuming Arlan keeps busy with actually running the country. We never see Arlan show interest in hunting or any vices that would take similar amounts of time. I also don't get the sense that Arlan and Baldur are always like, hanging out. And we don't interact with many administrators, making him seem pretty hands-on.
King Arlan knows how to maintain an image
When you return from the Shadow Realm...
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King Arlan is very savvy. Maybe he's sincere, who knows! But publicly honoring the heroes who saved your ass is a great way to get goodwill for yourself and make it so you no longer owe those heroes. Your party puts in quite a lot of work to save Morella and King Arlan just lets you take some weapons and armor no one was using anyway. Doesn't even send a single guard to help. Unlike Book 2...
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Before the battle he does a great job making it seem like he's doing you a favor. Like you asked for his help and he's magnanimously granting it, even though the Ash Empire is very much coming to destroy his capital!
Which brings us to his take on Aerin being gone (assuming he was imprisoned previously)...
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This is an awful thing to say about your son! But it's actually a pretty cunning move as a king. Arlan was absolutely right- his best move was to let Aerin go and hope he got killed. He gets to eliminate a problem making him look bad to the court (his son who committed murder and treason in a very public manner) and keep his reputation as a nice guy. He's the 'Gentle King,' not the 'Strong King' or 'Decisive King.'
And in the very unlikely (in his estimation) chance Aerin did come back alive and looking heroic, Arlan could keep him imprisoned indefinitely. Or (much less likely) he could say Aerin was corrupted before and use his success as an excuse to get one of his kids back in the line of succession. That's good for your ego and can help prevent a succession crisis if there isn't a super clear heir in place (which seems to be the case currently).
Overall, (and completely separate from him being a horrendous father) it seems to be like Arlan is actually a very good king. But there is one part of the job he sucks at...
Arlan's fatal flaw is that he is terrible at reading people.
'Baldur's great, no concerns!'
Obviously, we know that thinking that Baldur is going to be a good king is stupid.
But why didn't King Arlan know that? Aerin (who does seem to be pretty good at reading people) says he's, "handsome, bold, outgoing." Those things are all great for winning people over!
But not nearly enough to actually run a country. We know Baldur's not really even trying to have any of the practical, administrative skills that requires. And this system does not seem set up to function with a figurehead.
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You know that tutor must have clocked that Baldur was asleep! It was probably common knowledge at the palace that Baldur never learned a damn thing. Either Arlan didn't realize his heir was not gaining any practical ruling skills (bad sign) or he didn't care (also a bad sign).
Even monarchs who aren't invested in their kids as people are usually very invested in their education. Because that's how you make sure the wheels don't fall off once you die, ending your glorious bloodline.
Aerin tells us that Baldur would never contradict their father. So Arlan absolutely could have forced him to read a damn book. But for some reason, he didn't.
'My second son sucks...
Arlan truly thinks that Aerin is useless. Which is a wild stance to take after you watched him kill big strong Baldur in a single blow and open a portal to the Shadow Realm.
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Arlan got there a little late for Aerin's full villain monologue. But the second your party disappears through the portal, the smart thing would have been to determine if Aerin did any more damage. It didn't feel like it to Aerin, but he had tremendous access to people and resources. For all King Arlan knows, this could have been just one piece of a bigger plot.
And it was! Aerin admitted to corrupting dozens of people, usually very connected people. That's a ticking time bomb just waiting to cause more damage. One it doesn't seem like King Arlan ever looks into.
Arlan seems to just assume that Aerin can't cause damage because he's... not physically imposing? Because knowledge and connections are never a threat to power?
Pre-crisis, Aerin also talks about trying to smooth over Baldur's brash decisions. Having someone to soften the blow of harsh or unpopular decisions is absolutely crucial for any ruler, but especially one like Baldur. Yet Arlan doesn't seem to have any awareness of that either.
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So Arlan at least picked up some vibes from Aerin that he was... something. Troubled could be 'miserable,' but this statement makes it feel more 'he creeps me out.'
-and I'm not worried about that.'
Even if Aerin was incompetent or messed up, King Arlan should have been concerned about that! Baldur is very strong and presumably good at not dying. But he throws himself into dangerous situations all the time for fun! There is a very good reason most monarchs don't stop at one kid if they can help it.
History is absolutely littered with examples of people who inherited a throne and ran things into the ground because they didn't have the ability to manage the amount of power they had effectively. If Arlan thought Aerin could fall into that category, he should have had people working around the clock to get him up to standard just in case.
Instead, King Arlan fully ignored Aerin, letting him just haunt the archives like a depressed ghost.
'The Heroes of Morella obviously agree with me, they're important!'
King Arlan makes the assumption, based on your party's status, that you'll agree with him on the 'complicated politics' of executing your own kid. Because you're not 'commoners.' Your party includes one elven noble, one orcish (until like 2 days ago) princess, and one human with a very prominent position in the Temple. Mal is more under the radar, but he was still proclaimed a hero. And your character is the most Hero of all.
So Arlan basically does that thing some people do where they trash talk a marginalized group, because everyone in the room looks like they belong to the majority group, so why would they object? (Never a good look.)
But Mal and Nia are both, at least to you, visibly angry with Arlan for being excited his son is (presumably) dead.
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Still, no effort to backtrack or soften the blow from King Arlan. Just sails right over the dude's head that Mal looks pissed and Nia is using her damn customer service voice.
Seriously, King Arlan should probably keep an eye out for Mal... Not a big monarchist, that one.
Bonus Baldur, the tremendous idiot
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The fact that Baldur thinks he's the first of his name, when "Baldur Valleros" literally founded his dynasty, is incredibly funny to me. Such ignorance. Such hubris.
I am not about to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe Baldur I went straight to being king, so our dumbass is the first "Prince Baldur Valleros." His father is Arlan VII, there's no way no other king has named their heir after the founder of the dynasty. More evidence that he has never once learned a thing.
(Don't worry about Kade- he took a shadow lance to the face but he's fine. He's mostly fine. Feel free to look at my older posts if you're curious how that went down.)
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Baldur seems to make the same assumptions about people based on their status as his father. I don't think it's an accident that when Baldur wants to tell gross stories (including the phrase "slum girls"), he immediately grabs Mal, the human man. Mal isn't all that subtle about his disdain for the nobility, but he still looks like the best one for Baldur to win over. Mal is also the one who steps up and negotiates for the group, making him look like the leader- even more Baldur catnip.
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theravenkin · 6 months
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been thinking a lot about low-empathy adam parrish (via @parrishwife here and @crimeronan here ) and i'd like to add that i also think ronan is low-empathy, but in a different way, and that this difference is what causes most of the conflict between them (in this essay i will-)
so basically, in very simple psychological terms there are two main sides to empathy. on one side, you've got cognitive empathy- the ability to see things from another person's perspective in an objective manner and understand why they might be feeling a certain way even if you don't feel "for" them; however, you might think that they are overreacting. then there's emotional empathy, which is when you see someone having strong emotions or going through something tough and you feel "for" them, sometimes literally; you might feel nausea or pains in your chest from experiencing someone else in emotional pain, or you might feel elated when someone else is happy or excited. that doesn't necessarily mean, though, that you can see things from that person's perspective; even if you feel for someone, you might not think that they're coming from a place that matters because you can't put yourself in their position. when both of these main types of empathy are present, then you can also have compassionate empathy, which is like both working together- you feel for someone and can see things from their perspective. people with low empathy may struggle with both of the main types of empathy, but some may only struggle with one while maybe being hyper-empathetic in the other type; i'm pretty sure the latter is common among autistic people. i, for one, have very strong emotionally empathetic reactions to things, but i have a really hard time seeing things from others perspectives; so while i may feel really bad for someone, it can be hard for me to understand why they feel bad in the first place.
okay. now. blorbo thoughts.
i think that while adam has an easier time with cognitive empathy (though still struggles with it a bit), he has not developed a very strong sense of emotional empathy at all. whereas, on the other hand, i think ronan is hyperempathic when it comes to pure emotions, but has a very very hard time with cognitive empathy; the way he thinks tends to be more egocentric, meaning it's hard for him to remember that other people don't always think, feel, or process the same way he does (this is what i struggle with, personally, but i think ronan struggles a whole lot more with it).
i could go pulling a bunch of textual evidence, and god do i want to, but lord i ain't got the time. so im just gonna point out a couple things ronan does: he often hugs and comforts people when he feels that they're upset (and he often notices when people are upset before others do, when they're trying to hide it etc) but he doesn't care if these people want to be hugged- he just does it. the only person he doesn't do this with is adam, i think because adam is one person ronan works really hard to understand. ronan also tends to say things without thinking or caring about how they might make people feel, but he still feels so strongly himself (re: bronan "i'm not proud of it" "i'll be proud for you", ronan, read the room). he feels for every dreamer, even those he hasn't met yet, and that empathy drives him so crazy he goes and does a bunch of questionable things in order to try to make things better for people. but he cannot imagine any justification for why adam didn't text him back within a couple hours other than that adam now hated him suddenly (essentially, can't understand how adam doesn't know what ronan is thinking without communicating it).
ronan's inner monologue is very frequently about himself and how he's feeling; when he talks about others, he describes what they say and do and look like, but can't seem to explain how they think or why. adam, in comparison, is constantly psychoanalyzing the people around him, trying to understand why they do what they do and how they tick. part of this is his analytic nature and part of it is the remnants of a survival tactic- the need to understand his abuser, get inside their head, in order to avoid or prevent the next blow. but i think, too, all this analyzing has divorced him from feeling strongly for others, once again, as a survival tactic/coping mechanism- because he believes that as soon as he feels for someone, he becomes them and loses his autonomy. this is only beneficial when dealing with abusers, though. so when he's dealing with his loved ones, adam has to parse through their actions, codify their behaviors and what they mean, and establish heuristics of how they think in order for him to not cross a line and hurt them without meaning to. i feel like i can say more on this but it's late and im tired and i am no psychologist, just autistic and insane about characters
so i think that this difference is a lot of what makes pynch work (the impulse/impulse control dynamic or the right brain/left brain dynamic, but much much deeper and more complex obvs). but i also think that this is where most of their conflict comes from. ronan feels so deeply for and about adam, so much so that he doesn't know how to process it and it eats him alive. but even still, he can't quite understand why adam works the way he does, why his motivations are what they are, why he holds the values he does; usually, ronan just accepts that adam is adam and life goes on, but sometimes ronan gets so frustrated that he can't just accept that adam does things that- to ronan- make 0 sense. (think of the garage fight scene, just before the hand lotion, where ronan tells adam he should just quit school- a pretty tone deaf thing to say, knowing adam, but ronan was getting frustrated and couldn't understand why adam needed to keep working himself to death.) then there's adam, who typically understands where ronan is coming from, but doesn't understand why ronan feels so strongly about things, especially other people- especially him. he struggles to understand why ronan keeps helping him despite being told not to- which is why ronan does things without asking (ie, the rent), because he knows adam won't understand. adam may understand where ronan is coming from, but sometimes he just may not care. he doesn't want ronan to feel badly, but it's hard to motivate yourself to do something about it when you can't understand what the fuss is all about. think about the fight over the green mantle envelope: to adam, it's practical and logical, and he doesn't understand why the whole thing is upsetting to ronan or why he should care- if it gets the job done, doesn't matter how unpleasant the process is. ronan, however, doesn't care as much about practical; he can't understand why adam thinks this is okay, because he has such a hard time understanding that others have different values and priorities than he does.
anyway. this took so long to write. someone please read it and understand what i'm saying.
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meanautisticenbian · 1 year
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Ok I said this on twitter so I’ll say it here too
I’ve been researching Chinese history lately bc I’m an aspiring historian and I’ve learned that the real Confucius’s philosophy involved the idea that you should always honor your parents no matter what (yes even if they suck), and that makes me wonder: was giving Clone High’s Confucius shitty parents a deliberate choice to reflect on this, bc that is some really sad irony. I’m just saying Confi’s parents are blatantly neglectful and implied to be emotionally abusive and he is completely aware of how horrible they are to him but he doesn’t seem to hate them for it. Plus he’s talked about trying to be more like his clone father so it would make sense why he wouldn’t hate or have any distain for his foster family despite how they treat him, he’s just following the original Confucius’s beliefs just because he thinks that he’s supposed to. Can we have an episode focusing on this? Like, we go more into how awful his parents are and someone (maybe Harriet or Frida, maaaayyyybe Abe or Joan) tries to tell him “hey dude, your parents kinda suck” and he uses brings up how his clone dad would have wanted him to respect his foster parents anyway, and keeps trying to excuse his parents’s behavior until they do something that genuinely ticks him off and finally stands up for himself and realizes “maybe my clone dad was wrong”
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xikyuu · 1 month
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“oc question #3: if they could have a real life conversation with you, how would it go?” curtesy of ‘_..darr1ingz.._’ on tiktok.
at some point, the conversation became one-sided and more of me psychoanalyzing them. it kinda resembles a letter format, but if you pay attention, there are gaps where it seems like dallas (he/him) responds. extra notes are at the top of my tags. have fun reading!
total words: 2,329. writing under cut:
i’d ask dallas what its like to see all these worlds. yes, i know i made you and the conversations you have but i desire connection i cannot have.
what is kismadoré actually like when everything is sewn together lovingly? did you feel loved, even if it was temporary? are the city streets worn down with love and care? does it show the world that city of life is, indeed, living? that there is water in it’s roots?
what’s your handwriting like? did you ever decide to go to college in a universe? if so, what was your major? did you get multiple degrees? what was your favorite class? least favorite? favorite teacher? do you have a favorite fun fact? please tell me.
where there times you were genuinely scared for your life? are you afraid of me? of the complete power and creation i hold over you? i’m so sorry i hurt you.
do you have a favorite stuffed animal?
what was your father’s name? do you hate me for what i did to him? do you hate me for what i did to your mother? do you hate me? i caused all this hurt for you. you could’ve survived if i gave you a happy life. i could’ve made you a loving father, but i don’t know what that looks like. i could’ve gave you your mother, but i’ve never seen my mother and father exist in the same place and not be at each other’s throats. do you forgive me? please don’t forgive me. i love you. i wish i could be you. do you hate me? i killed alibi. i killed skip. i killed you. they’re dead because of me. they had to start a rebellion because of me. your father is cruel and evil because of me. would you kill me if you had the chance? do you wish you could see them again? i’m so sorry.
you know this is real, right? you are real. you exist because i exist. i made you and i am still making you. you are something i will always come back to. you make me happy. you make my friends happy. they love you. yes, really. i wouldn’t lie to you about that.
did you know alibi is based off my friend? they created kit’s design. i made alibi into themself. did you know that one of the potential names for alibi was mochi? there was supposed to be another in the resistance crew. i scrapped them early on.
what’s it like to shoot a gun and know every shot has killed? i’m sorry. is the metal cold to the touch? does it burn your hands with memories? does your finger still sit perfectly on the trigger? even if you try to bury the subconscious knowledge of how to do anything with that wretched thing? it’s why you got your namesake, after all. i’m sorry. i don’t like guns, either. i wanted you to be safe.
you need to let go of the mask. stop pretending you are fine. people want to help. remember what we say about communication? it is key.
who was the person who killed you? i don’t know who they are, just that they were misguided and brainwashed into hating you. i’m so sorry. you could’ve had another friend before you died.
what’s your favorite plant? did you ever hide in the willow trees like they were curtains? what is the easiest tree to climb? does that one tree still have bark torn off from how often you guys tried to climb it? do you remember the tree that bore fruit and attracted the many flutters of butterflies? and how they rested gently on your hands and chest? how you held out your arm and several would perch on your arm like it was an extension of the tree? and didn’t that one butterfly land on your nose? did you have fun?
theres so much pressure on you. i’m sorry.
juno and asmo are okay. they survived. you know this, right? i’m sorry you didn’t get to see them heal. they miss you.
do you still wish on acorns? do you still play the violin? do you still dance in the rain with a big smile on your face? do you still dance around the tall bonfire to songs of kismá? and what of the picnics in flower fields?
i’m sorry you had to hide guns in a basket of flowers. i’m sorry you had to be paranoid and hypervigilant. i’m sorry i ruined your breathing with the orange gas.
do you still share folk stories to the multiverse about kismadoré?
whats your favorite color? is it green like me? how is it that we are so similar but so different? i made you in my own image, but the mirror reflecting me is distorted.
whats your favorite form to stay in? do you have any favorite jewelry pieces? what is your favorite dessert?
you can see the indents from when i made you—like clay. does that mean i messed up or does it show the care that i put into you? molding you until you grew into something i cannot be?
do you have a favorite memory? do you have more? what was it like to sit in the desert at a campfire, surrounded by people you love? did you have the heart to say that you might not survive this run to freedom? what was your reaction to the walls falling? i’m sorry your home is so corrupt.
what new dishes came about in kismadoré that i’ll never be able to try? what cultures meshed to make one giant city? had anyone ever tried mixing soul food and japanese together?
what songs play at the funeral rites? what colors do you wear to mourn?
do you still know cardinal directions like the back of your hand? it’s because of the compass, right? does kismadoré have an official animal? official dish? is it recognized on maps? if it isn’t, i’ll write it into canon. how many people live in kismadoré? i know the initial population was small. oh wow. that’s a lot.
whats some of the funniest reactions people have had to your powers?
are your fingers burnt from the fires? do you lose sensation in them sometimes? does the cold make your bones hurt? i know it does for me. how bad are the scars in person? i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry.
do you have a favorite book? what genre do you like? i have so many recommendations. do you have any for me?
do you draw? paint? can i see? it’s totally okay if you don’t want to show me. how’s your poetry coming along? any favorite symbols you love to throw in? yeah, floriography is great.
were you aware when asmo blessed you as you bled out in her lap? she recited the poem. ‘may the stars be there to guide you.’ that one.
i’m sorry. i took you away right after you finally got your freedom. do you think that’s cruel of me? you got it eventually, just not in the way you expected.
what is time like if time is not linear?
you know you are allowed to be loud, right? it is your right. it is in your nature. kismá calls to ask you why you aren’t screaming and yelling and singing and crying and clapping and stomping and dancing and whistling and humming and laughing and breathing and living and why are you not shaking the stars with excitement and joy because you are loved, my dear, did you know that? did you know that your heart beats in your chest, even if it is out of tune? the blood in your veins makes music you cannot even comprehend. the wind makes a sound that we can copy and sing along with. the water is clean for you to wade into. kick it around and laugh. your clothes get wet, but that is nature. the wind will hug you as it passes. its cold but it means well. the flowers dance even in the midst of a hurricane and so will we. we will dance even when crying. that is the beauty of it. sá boé dáli, sá baoyă dáli.
do you still think of them? the nostalgia is lethal. but does lethality even matter to someone who cannot die? do you indulge yourself with poison just to wonder what could have been? when did you forget their faces? when did you forget their voices? do you know this is self-destructive? of course you don’t care.
does your home still affect you? are you kintsugi pretending to be a person? do you know where each you used to be? where on your porcelain vessel lays the tiles of the child soldier? the fake confidence and paranoia of the resistance leader? the people-pleaser? the scared child? and did you get your eyes from the gods who remade you? the gods who held your cracked form gently and helped heal you? at what point are you not a person anymore? how cracked is the still, cold heart that rests in your chest cavity? it contains every person you once were and will be. you can take the man out of the walls, but the walls came crumbling down and embedded themselves into your then fragile, human skin. you can try to pick out the concrete but it’s stuck, it’s there. just like the shrapnel from the bullets that fused themselves to your corpse. you can run, but you can’t hide. you can never avoid the past. do you even want to?
you forget you aren’t human. not anymore. even so, you cling onto humanity like a child crying for their parents. you feel emotions as deeply as the next. you stand next to a human in a vessel that is dead and wonder why you feel as if you don’t belong. your empathy is damaging. your mannerisms mimic something you aren’t. hold onto this. pray for more. do not loose it.
how do you manage your anger? where do you feel it? that’s interesting. can you feel it twist itself between the valves and chambers of your heart? do the thorns of malice pierce your lungs? do you wish it would stop burning in your chest? do you ever have a sick satisfaction with you shoot off insults? do you feel regret when you snap at a loved one? when does it spread to your throat and take it’s wretched hands and choke you? when does it embrace your shoulders in justice? do you give people what they deserve? and what happens if they don’t deserve it? whenever will your lungs be damaged from the live coals that simmer? do you ever cough up the smoke? and when do you grab that gun and deliver retribution? is anger a welcome feeling for you? do you hate the thought of hatred itself? that would be funny. or is it that you fear who you become when you are this monster born of emotions, ash spewing from cracked lips with magma burning in your eyes?
and how do you feel about violence? is it an unremovable part of you? is it in your brain and does tends to stick no matter how hard it clings to your amygdala? what would you be without it? do you still remember how to kill a man? the best place to hit with the bat covered in rusty nails? does the blood still drip from your fingers and onto the floor? do you still feel that automatic reaction to pull out the gun whenever anything bad happens? do you forget how to care about the blood dripping from your fingers? did you still crave it? do you crave for the thing that raised you? do you ever smile when you shoot? have you become desensitized? you hate it. you hate it so much. you love it. the rush of adrenaline. you hate that you crave it. you pull your lips back into a sick and bloody smile when the tyrant is dead. you were numb the first time it happened. why are you so conflicted?
was death cold? what form did it take, if any at all? did it embrace you or was it so sudden that you thought your neck broke? did it unsettle you or did you feel comfortable? or did you feel nothing at all? after all, most are nothing in death. who was the first to meet you? to come and take your hand and lead you to the Garden? and how many times did you refuse that you were safe in Their care? how many times did you die after that until you finally cracked and sobbed and went down that road of healing? did you expect to see your old family in death?
what’s it like holding stardust in your palms? to be able to peek in at universes? to be able to walk among worlds like you are a part of it yourself? what’s it like being everything and nothing at once? can you hold the multiverse’s mysteries in your many arms? do your wings ever get in the way? what’s seeing like with that many eyes? to be so human and so otherly that you are stuck in an eternal venn-diagram, comparing your every move with that of your mortal past and your immortal future? but the past is the future and the future is the past, right? how silly of me to forget.
what will you do from here? now you’ve met me? am i everything you thought of? am i so different from your expectations? am i pressing too hard? wouldn’t you already know this? you’re made to know everything.
i’m sorry for everything, by the way. i think you knew that— yeah. come visit me again. ‘May The Stars guide you.’
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cryptid--bunny · 1 year
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my son he has every disease
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why are the families so detailed in this series
Like when you meet all of the parents the characters make so much sense (I mean really, the backstories for all of the characters very clearly show how they were shaped. The world building in Saiki k is seriously top tier, it's almost too good for what it is)
oopsy long post
Kusuo is all disillusioned because his father sees him only as convenient and his brother sees him only as a rival +his mom is either completely blind to it or just doesn't care/doesn't see a problem with it. (But despite being pretty mean he's subconsciously pretty selfless, also because of his mom.)
Kusuke was seen as convenient the same way Kusuo was by his father and they both probably tied their respective self-worths to that but unlike Kusuo he was seen as the apparently less useful one- and instead of just being a little toxic, since Kusuke's a genius it was blown out of proportion into death machines and other generally very drastic measures. (A lot of people have pointed out Kuniharu and Kurumi actually, just another to say these things)
Kaido turned to a fantasy world because of an overly strict mother, whatever's up with his father might have something to do with it too.
Nendo's a very respectable himbo because his mother's amazing.
While Teruhashi's parents aren't shown I think their absence actually says a lot anyways. Her brother's super out of control for whatever reason and she goes insane if she's not validated for a single second, I can see this being because her parents weren't there to rely on.
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asteriskdisasterisk · 3 months
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been watching Death Note for the first time and I fucking hate how much I mirror L. I get it's probably The Autism™️ or whatever--like the bad posture, oversized clothing, and bare feet are one thing--but the mannerisms fucking get me. The way he rubs his feet together like a mantis, the way he hunches over Everything, the way he sits like that not because he WANTS to but because he HAS TO or else he can't focus as well, even the way he EATS????
I do not like the fact I share these mannerisms with an anime boy. I will riot.
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tobeblamed · 2 years
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do i have muse or am i experiencing similar shit that my muse is going through and they just put me in A Certain Mood
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freckledgeto · 1 year
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thank yew @cringeworth for tag. 🫶🏻 here are my songs
1. too fast (pull over) - jay rock w/ anderson paak and latto
2. logical - olivia rodrigo
3. lacy - olivia rodrigo 😃
4. super shy - newjeans
5. cool about it - boygenius
6. on my mama - victoria monet
7. SPECIALZ - king gnu
8. get up - newjeans
9. america has a problem - beyonce with kendrick lamar
10. andromeda - weyes blood
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gobbluthbutagirl · 2 years
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favorite lead at my job happened to come into the break room while i had my mask off today and he mentioned he had NEVER seen my whole face before. which is like. i have literally broken down crying in front of this man before and you’re telling me i didn’t take my mask off. Yeah that does sound like me
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santinacedes · 2 years
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9 page paper due friday and i haven’t started or even outlined what i’m writing about oh how i love school
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wordsofawanderingsoul · 5 months
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It's only natural I answer the favor x)
Give us a headcanon about Layton! x)
Hmmm. I feel I’ve already put out most of my head cannons…
Okay, I head cannon that one of the in game reasons we don’t see or hear about Randall and the Stansbury gang in the og trilogy is because Hershel still has anxiety and maybe ptsd over the whole ordeal. I mean, your childhood best friend saying “I heard you have a habit of letting your friends down” after you thought he’d died right in front of you has got to mess you up, even IF said best friend was being manipulated by your evil brother (which is a whole other can of worms because now Hershel KNOWS that it was his brother who did all those things to his friends and that probably adds a whole other layer to his unearned guilt)
In short, I think Hershel is still keeping low contact with his old friends because he doesn’t know how to move past all that stuff yet.
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