#Reconciling Yourself to the Fact of Sin

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

by Oswald Chambers | Not being reconciled to the fact of sin— not recognizing it and refusing to deal with it— produces all the disasters in life. You may talk about the lofty virtues of human nature, but there is something in human nature that will mockingly laugh in the face of every principle you have. If you refuse to agree with the fact that…

[chosos-mascara]

girl

𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞 𝙯𝙚𝙣'𝙞𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 - after maki arrives in your home riddled in self-doubt, she learns your true feelings toward her.

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - aged up!maki (25), making out, thigh riding, fem bodied reader.

1.8k words

"I hate her." 

When rage seized Maki, it had done so vigorously. She hadn't learned to handle the burning anger within her, though mostly due to upbringing. Although she'd found the strength to leave her family home while only 15, her twin had not forgiven her deep down. Another failed attempt at making amends with Mai, while Mai had only wished for retribution. Maki had tried her best at reconciling ten years on, but each attempt at forgiveness had been futile. 

The fact Maki had hidden a wavering voice yet could not mask the defeated expression and glassy eyes had meant that she had not been angry. Even if she'd attempted to come off with a strict hate and displeasure, you'd been able to see through the facade. Deep down, Maki was heartbroken. 

Rambling about the events just passed, she kicked her shoes at the door and made herself home. A small detail that made your heart melt; knowing Maki saw your house as a safe-haven. A place of comfort for her wounded heart. 

The truth had been, your love for Maki had been far beyond platonic. Although you hadn't been able to pinpoint a where and how, you'd been left to live through an infatuation with your best friend. Your caring nature had been reciprocated by her protective one, a dynamic in which you'd wished would stem into romanticism, yet wouldn't push the boundary of friendship. Time spent alongside her had your skin prickling and heart racing, nights alone picturing a future in which you'd find the confidence to confess the sin of love. 

When she'd paused in speaking, you'd realised you'd become lost in thought. Maki had awaited your response to her venting. Green eyes stared at you through desperation.  "I'm sorry, I know you wanted to make it work." 

Only a feeble attempt at reassurance had left your lips as the kettle came to boil, the click of the switch and bubble of water filling a heavy atmosphere. When pouring the liquid over tea, steam danced within the porcelain mugs. A temporary reprieve. 

You brought the mugs to the table, seating yourself beside her defeated form. She rested on a knee, foot placed on seat, the other leg in a natural dangling position. Once settled into the worn out wooden chair, a cup before both of you, she continued. 

"I just thought this time would be different." Her gaze dropped, fingers wrapping around the handle. "My own sister hates me." 

"You don't need her." Spoken with brisk pace, you made sure to snub the flames of self-doubt from her mind. Of course, her pain had been valid - a deep cut loathing bestowed so clearly from the Zen'in's had to harbor negativity within her core, but you wouldn't allow the seeds to grow into anything more. If Maki needed to be reassured of her worth, you would provide. Even if that had meant daily, or hourly, you'd be willing to support the girl you'd loved.

"Hm." Her hum of uncertainty had bene voiced into the mug of tea, a sip of warmth and exhale of relief, appraising the beverage's comforting tone. "How are you, anyway?" Her question had ended in reluctant eye contact, a flutter of heart beneath rib as you'd stare back into her soul.  "I'm fine, you know me." A nonchalant response, shrug of shoulders.

"That's it? Fine?" Maki sighed, a shake of her head. "I haven't seen you for weeks, and you have nothing to say?" She scoffed, a smirk of annoyance curving lips. "Don't act so humble. There has to be something you want to vent about." The sudden annoyance spurred on panic within you, mouth opening as your brain had attempted to throw together a response. "There's..." You trailed of in thought, grasping at straws. "A company party next week?" The raise of your voice had made the unsure statement more of a question, though Maki latched onto the topic, relieving you of stress. 

"That's it?" Her exhale had mimicked a laugh, shake of her head. "Why are you being so timid?" Uttered under her breath, she ignored the confusion and instead pushed you further. "At least tell me something more, what about that hot manager - Nanami? Did he make any more moves?" 

You giggled, tilting your head. "I'm not really interested."  "So, what? You're gonna be single forever?" Her pressure had been unwanted, an awkward position she'd twisted you into without comprehending the complicated emotions plaguing you. Opening up about a love life would result in honesty - that being the only person you'd liked in over a year had been her. Though, even before now, past relationships wouldn't work out, lovers seeing through doe eyes and softened expressions directed not to them, but instead your best friend. There was no way you'd find value in someone that hadn't been her.

"I don't mind so much." Brushing off her accusitory tone, you glanced to the mug cupped between palms, debating on whether to take a sip.  "What about Kugisaki?" She questioned you, eyes fixed on your defeated expression.  "No, I like someone else." 

Shit. 

"Really? You like someone? Are they a real person?" Maki smiled teasingly, brow arched in both disbelief and excitement. "Well, who is it?" 

You sat in silence, staring into the drink below you. Dying sunlight no longer reflected within the liquid, an orange glow cast over skin. You felt guilt toward Maki's enthusiasm, because you couldn't give her the answer she'd desperately wanted. Even if glancing to her expression had you considering telling the truth. She looked so pretty, after all. 

"It's no one, really." 

"I see." Maki's words were spoken quietly, a somber tone of defeat woven throughout her submission. She slumped back, finishing her tea while you'd been left to stare at your reflection within your untouched mug.  "I want to tell you, I just-" Closing you eyes, you curse your own childish behaviour. "I can't." 

Maki let out an exasperated laugh. "You're making it sound like it's me." 

For a second, you'd doubted that her words had been the ones you'd heard so clearly. The desperation of wanting to tell her, mixed with the beaten-down expression and your need to comfort her had seemingly created confidence. From your perspective, her crossed arms holding her own body so tightly had made it look as if she'd been hugging herself. Perhaps, she had been. 

Instead of sinking down further, denying the feelings you'd had and the ones she'd seemingly displayed if not a part of your own madness, you leaned toward her. Where words wouldn't suffice, you would still speak, fingers ghosting her cheek, face inching closer. There was some form of restraint as you'd grown only a centimeter away, a chance to allow her to voice disdain and push you away. Though, she'd only closed the gap. 

Your lips had locked with hers, a gentle kiss and quiet smack of lips echoing through the kitchen. You'd supported the questionable position you'd contorted yourself into in order to lean over and kiss her - an arm on the table and the other the back of her chair while squatting to hover over your own seat. You'd pulled yourself from her in order to apologize, however two burning palms cupping each cheek had brought you back to her. 

You'd been somewhat startled by the surge of courage she'd displayed, yet as you'd allowed the passion between you with lips molding against one another, movements became a frenzied show of affection. The controlling grasp she'd had set over your features had been brought rather aggressively downward, a tug over your sides to pull you atop her lap as lips parted further. Maki's tongue glided across your own shyly at first, a few flicks as if to test the waters between sloppy pecks. Though, spurred on by a limited taste of you, she'd been greedy to take more. Deeper, haphazard and messy kisses with an exchange of drool between both you and her had Maki's thighs clenching under yours, hands groping over your body as a desperate attempt for more contact. 

She'd rested her grasp over your hips to guide you into a rocking motion, a hum lost in her moth when you'd felt friction in the place aching for it the most. Somewhere between smooth skin gliding over hers, the phrase bedroom had been uttered, lips parting and reconnecting before parting once more to allow movement. With fingers laced, you rushed toward plush sheets, though once through the door, hunger met with you first. 

Her hands roamed you when kissing you again, slipping beneath the hem to clutch at clothes that needed to be discarded. T-shirt first, then the slip of waistbands, before the mattress sank with nude bodies intertwined. Maki straddled over one thigh while keeping on of her own pushed to your core. When leaning forward to place a kiss over your neck, her slick had rubbed over your leg, stifled moan lost against the curve of your shoulder. You'd felt every detail of her bare folds, wetness coating the fat of thigh as she ground her clit over you once more. 

A buck of desperation on your own part had suddenly relieved the ache within your abdomen, a throbbing need of friction. As Maki moved against you, back arching, her chest pushed against yours. With each movement, her nipples grazed yours, a lewd action of intimacy that had both you and her clenching over the other. You'd let a louder moan at the sensation, and she'd smiled into the kiss. A breathy laugh fanned over your cheeks as if to call you needy - something she'd done many times before, less so in this context. 

You'd whined over one another, drool coating glossy lips and pouring to surrounding skin. Kisses had become more an action of sucking over tongues, increasingly languid when focused on the rest of your body. Your hips juttered with less rhythm as you'd found yourself closer to release over her thigh, encouraged by the feeling of her cunt over your skin. 

"Maki..." Against her lips, a warning spoken. As your stomach sucked inward, you'd tried to hold out a little longer.  "Come with me." The whispered instruction had wavered on the last word as her mouth had widened, allowing tensed muscles to spasm when feeling your slick roll hurriedly against her, strangled moan echoing from your mouth. 

Maki allowed her release alongside yours, hums of appraisal shared with each roll and buck, a squeeze over the sheets with each wave of pleasure.

Only when she'd left the warmth beneath her to instead lay beside you, blanket pulled over each body and chests finally rising and falling at a normal pace had words been spoken. The weight of actions setting in, a small laugh as you'd commented. 

"I guess this means you like me too?" 

not proof read,sorry!!

[manda-kat]

Have you considered that many people are not deciding that God is inconsistent or has gone back on His word, but rather that our interpretation of how to best live in accordance with God’s will has changed depending on our context? New interpretation of God’s Word and presence in our world is a constant thing. People have been striving for thousands of years to worship God in their unique context; we all have an understanding that the context in which God was first revealed to us is quite different from our own, and we have to reconcile this with our belief in an infallible and immutable Creator. Every Christian community since the inception of our religious tradition has made interpretive decisions of how to best honor God in their thoughts, words, and actions— these decisions have changed over time, and led to the diversity of Christian expression in our world today. Religion does and must change. God does not.

I totally get your point and it's a good one, especially when it comes to less important things that change with time and culture. It definitely didn't go over my head.

But my point still stands- it isn't culture, traditions or norms that are the issue, but morality as a whole. We shouldn't change how we interpret God's law because He always had an intended purpose for that law and the things He has called good and holy hold up even today- regardless of a secular world's acceptance of them.

So yeah, I agree with you that we should worship in a way that makes sense for the context we live in, but my original point is to be careful not to discard real laws and truth for a desire to fit in with others. Many parts of the church- particularly in America- has been ignoring God's teaching in favor of sticking with popular ideals and they've done this with many topics and sins.

For example, I don't think it's right to sing songs praising America in church because the context of a hymn in church is worship, so to use those songs in church is to worship our country. Some people may say this doesn't constitute as idolatry and that we should adapt to fit the patriotic culture, but God very clearly told us not to worship anything above him, so we should keep our love of America out of church hymns when the goal should be to sing praises to the Lord.

Obviously there are some more hot-ticket items that the church has been pushing that people have stronger opinions over, but we all know what those are. Anything contrary to God's word and law should be discarded regardless of the culture you find yourself in. Not all cultures are morally sound and it is our job as the church to stand apart from the sinful world.

So while I definitely believe in the importance of context (in fact many acts from the Bible could be seen as sinful if taken out of the context they are found in) we need to be wary of how much we stray in the name of personal interpretation. At the end of the day, none of this is about us- it's about Him. So we need to think first about what He wants and expects from us. If you truly belive God approves of your lifestyle and that you are honoring His law, then by all means serve Him thusly.

[ceterisparibus116]

What's your opinion on Maggie? I'm fairly torn about her. On one hand, she absolutely needed help and support, and fely she was a danger to Matt. On the other, she did leave Jack a single parent with no financial support, then remained around Matt for literal years, allowing him to believe himself an orphan. I am glad they reconnected, but I've seen some people act like she is some kind of perfect caring parent, which I find especially bizarre given the nature of her relationship with Matt. Letting your child believe themself an orphan is not a neutral action as some make it out to be, it does cause harm.

THIS IS SUCH A COMPLICATED QUESTION.

I think you did a great job zeroing in on what makes this so complicated. Maggie was harmed by many things (society, possibly the church, even her own brain); Maggie also caused a lot of harm. How do we reconcile all this?

I think we have to consider all of it together.

See, I think people err by focusing too much on one of three things:

Her lack of help; her unmet needs in her early life;

The good she can and does do for Matt later in life; and

The harm caused to Matt.

I think in reaching a nuanced opinion of Maggie, we have to account for all of these things.

It might seem easy and convenient to focus on how she is, in many ways, a victim of society and lack of education. We tell ourselves how different things would have been if only she'd had a therapist, if only she'd had more support, etc.

But one person's victimhood doesn't mean they can't cause harm. Maggie absolutely caused harm. As you pointed out, her actions weren't neutral.

At the same time, surely there's a difference between someone who caused harm intentionally vs negligently. For some people (though not all), the harm itself might even be less. For example, Matt was hurt (negatively affected) by Maggie's actions, regardless of her degree of intentionality. But I think he would have been hurt worse if he'd believed she abandoned him on purpose. Such a belief would, I think, have fed into his "I have the devil in me" self-hate even more than the simple fact of abandonment, without intent, already feeds into that.

Finally, we have to consider her efforts later in life. They are, in many ways, half-measures. She'll care for his body and attempt to care for his soul, but she won't actually confess her sins to him - which perhaps wouldn't be so bad if she kept her secret out of concern for how it would affect him, but she admits to Karen that her motive was cowardice. That said, the half-measures are still present. These good deeds do not erase her bad deeds (she can't "make up" for wronging him), but her good deeds do nevertheless have a good impact on Matt. She enables him to regain his strength and is one of the few people he can talk to at this point in his life. She clearly cares about him, even if she struggles to know how to care about him well.

And so personally, I sympathize with people who can't look at Maggie and see anything but hurt. However, I am like Matt: I don't believe redemption should be withheld from anyone. We all make mistakes; we all hurt people.

Actually, the Hebrew Bible has an interesting take on this. There are several Hebrew words used to describe something as...well, as a problem. There's chata (often translated "sin" but it means, really, "anything short of perfection"); there's marad (often translated "rebellion" which implies intentionality); there's sur (which means to "turn aside" or "wander" which, I think, doesn't imply intentionality); there's abar (which means to trespass or cross a boundary line); there's also avah (which means "to be bent or twisted") - which is something you can do to yourself, but it also something that can be done to you that leaves you "twisted."

That last one is particularly interesting to me. Maggie was, I believe, "twisted" by depression and by the ways she was treated by the church, by society, etc. She acted, at least in part, in accordance with how she'd been twisted.

Those actions harmed Matt. They twisted Matt. And Matt goes on to act, at least in part, in accordance with how he has been twisted. This causes further harm to people like Foggy, Karen, and Claire, who are hurt by the ways Matt lies to them and pushes them away - which are behaviors he engages in because of how he has been twisted.

Speaking of twisting: Stick. Matt tells Stick to his face that Stick's ideas of the world are "warped". In other words, Stick was twisted. And Stick ended up twisting Matt.

And one of the ideas I've tried to explore a lot in the Ella series is Matt's struggle to avoid passing on any of those twisting ideas to other young children.

What I appreciate about this idea of twisting is that it acknowledges the reality that: a) someone can be hurt; and b) someone can hurt other people out of their hurt; and c) we can call this overall Thing a "bad" thing (as in, "this is not the way things should be"); and yet d) no one did anything intentionally wrong.

In the complicated, messed-up, far-from-perfect world we live in, I think that nuance is absolutely crucial.

Ultimately, when I look at Maggie, I see someone who is incredibly relatable. Some of her terrible choices are, I think, the result of others failing (or twisting) her and I wonder how much she was even capable of choosing differently. Other terrible choices are, I think, done in rebellion against what she knows she should do (such as refusing to confess her sin to Matt, which she knows she should do, and refusing to do so purely out of cowardice/pride). And still other choices are good choices.

I know some Maggies in real life. I'm not the Matt to their Maggie, so the hurt is less personal (although they have hurt people I care about deeply). With those sorts of people, I hope that I am always able to see them still as people. I don't want to write them off because of their harms - no matter how harmful those choices are. We all need grace, mercy, and redemption, and I will not be the one to withhold it from someone.

That said...it is important for the Matts of this world to know that "mercy" is not the same as "trust." Nor is "forgiveness" the same as "never feeling hurt." I explored this more in my Trust fic, but I do not believe Matt owes Maggie anything. If he finds it painful to even be in the same room with her again, then he should not have to be in the same room with her again. Alternatively, if he wants a relationship with her, that's also fine, but the relationship still needs to be safe for him. There needs to be healthy boundaries, and she needs to earn his trust.

And finally, I have to say that I love Maggie as a character. From a storytelling perspective, she adds so much to Matt's arc, and I could ramble for days, but this is already really long, so I'm going to sign off here.

Anon, thank you for the very challenging ask. I'm sure I took this in some weird directions, but...yeah, these are (at least a lot of) my Maggie thoughts.

[vulnerasti-cor-meum]

following as I do the catholic news I really think that the conservatives' struggling to grasp the couple-union distinction in Fiducia supplicans (and I also do think it's a weird distinction in the first place though i guess I do understand it) is simply a symptom of the fact that catholic theology hasnt found a workable way to reconcile the ideas that on the one hand the human body is good and beauty is good and sexuality as such is good and so are tenderness and warmth, and on the other the doctrine that if even if all of these combine in a carnal act that doesnt lead to offspring or hasnt been consecrated in a certain way at a certain time, then it's soooo morally deficient that you cut yourself off from God's love. I mean come on.

(though you can also see Pope Francis & co. grapple sincerely with that dichotomy in Amoris laetitia 8 as well as Cardinal McElroy's argument that while catholic sexual ethics is right in its core that sex should be profound not casual, the idea that all nonmarital/procreative sex acts are mortally sinful could use some reassessment)

-end of screed-

[rigaudon]

highly controversial (esp for tumblr) take under the cut, brought to you by me, less than 24 hours after running out of my antidepressants

i hate the continued trend of "quirkifying" (thing i made up just now) mental illness, but I especially hate how recently tumblr has latched onto, specifically, adhd and autism and turned them into personality types that people slap on a name tag to show off how unique they are. I hate that being neurodivergent has become the go-to excuse for terminally online people to justify their shitty behavior. I hate the sentiment that being unmedicated is something to be proud of. I hate that wanting to be fucking normal is a cardinal sin, because ew why would you want to be like those boring neurotypicals.

I hate it. I want to be normal. I started taking medication for ADHD when I was four years old and I have never, not once in my life, thought it was a Fun Thing To have. I hate that I've spent the last 15 years slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably--no almost definitely--autistic, but am still vehemently opposed to it and unable to reconcile that fact despite all the evidence. I don't want to be autistic. I don't want to have adhd. I don't want to make these things a part of my identity that I share with people in the same breath as I talk about my favorite video games or dnd class.

It's not fun. It's not a cute, exclusive club you get to be part of.

It's miserable and alienating and people don't take it seriously. Because you're just lazy and not trying hard enough. Why haven't you done this task you promised you'd do six months ago. Why did you fail out of college? Why did you squander that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Why don't you finish anything you start? Having a low attention span isn't an excuse to not communicate like a normal person. I've had to tell you this five times why can't you just remember? Why can't you save any money? Why are you so fucking weird? Don't you ever think about anyone other than yourself?

Why can't you Just Be Normal?

I would give anything to just be a shitty, irresponsible person who makes bad decisions out of carelessness or lack of empathy. I would give anything to be a "boring neurotypical". Because I could work on that. I could become a better person. i could learn from my mistakes and have that actually mean something practically rather than just cognitively.

It's an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Accepting that my brain just does not work correctly and no amount of positive thinking, or bullet journaling, or time management skills, or even medication will fix it. It will always be a struggle. It will always be a ten ton weight shackled to my ankles that I have to drag behind me through any task that doesn't result in instant gratification. There will never be a permanent solution. I will never wake up one day and suddenly be able to do these basic fucking tasks that everyone else does without issue. I will always have to remind myself to brush my teeth, or to eat breakfast, or to take a shower, or to make sure my cats get fed. It will always be an ordeal to get the mail or to go grocery shopping or to keep myself from sabotaging every good thing in my life for the umpteenth time.

It's exhausting. I'm so tired. I'm so sick of fighting against myself every waking moment of every single day. I'm so sick of being told that I don't deserve any kind of accommodations or allowances or compromises and there is no excuse because "everyone else has to do these things and you don't get special treatment".

I don't want special treatment. I don't want everything different or "wrong" with me to be painted on my skin in bright red ink for everyone to see. I don't want to be reduced to a bunch of boxes so people can just glance at the labels and decide that's all they need to know about me. I don't want to stand out. I don't want to be different. I want to fucking blend in and be unremarkable and boring.

I just want to be fucking normal.

[bingejesus]

how do you reconcile your gender and sexuality with your christianity? i've been struggling immensely with this because i don't know how to deal with myself. i have been out for years and it feels so hard to give up either part of myself, and i don't think i can exist as both. please don't answer this if you feel uncomfortable, but how do you do it?

So sorry I’m just now getting to this, friend. I hope you’re well.

So, it took a while to get where I am. I had always been attracted to both boys and girls, and only discovered my gender recently (and am still discovering) but I’ve struggled with God for pretty much the whole time I’ve been on this earth. Not just with my sexuality and such but with everything. For the first 18-20 years of my life I grew up convinced God actually hated me and couldn’t wait for me to slip up so bad that he could send me to hell.

Then after some time in college, I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t straight, and I wasn’t cis. And that only pushed me farther because of course according to my background that was a grievous sin. And for a while I hated God because I couldn’t reconcile this idea of non-straight, non-cis, non-Christian people being completely evil with reality. I started really reading and studying and searching and ultimately found that what I’d been taught wasn’t the whole story. I found stuff like the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was not “being gay”, it was exploitation and mistreatment of the poor. I found credible sources explaining that the cultural difference between then and now was extremely wide and what we would call homosexuality wasn’t about love and orientation, it was about once again power and exploitation. And when I finally came back to God, expecting anger and judgement, I instead received joy and love and peace. I thought for sure he would tell me I had to be straight and cis because that’s all there was—but actually he was strangely silent. But he answered through knowing and meeting real people, recognizing harmful patterns in society, and through the realization that God was so concerned with reconciling and loving the least of these that he didn’t care if I liked both boys and girls and if I wanted to use they/them pronouns because it made me feel better in my own skin. (“Didn’t care” meaning it was never condemned, not that he was indifferent.) He made gay people gay and trans people trans, and he made the spectrums of sexuality and gender and we were discovering that now and how grand and vivid and weird and creative his creation is. God isn’t in a box, and he does unexpected things.

Basically when asked how he felt about my sexuality and gender, his response was—

“I love you. And I want you to love others.”

It’s still hard sometimes. There are many things I’m unlearning. But the condemnation I feel never comes from him.

So, I say all that to hopefully encourage you. Our paths may be different and maybe God speaks to you in a different way than he has to me, but there’s one thing he will always be consistent on and that is his unconditional love for you. You’re gay and he loves you.

I don’t believe this means he may not call you to singleness—He calls both straight and gay people to that sometimes. Not because it’s wrong to be in a relationship but because there are other plans he has. (This may not be your struggle, but I thought it might be a good example)

The only part of yourself that he asks you to give up is the part that chooses fear instead of love.

You’re so beloved, my friend. And only you can know what God is saying to your heart, but I know for a fact it will always be with love. So, while you’re figuring out how to be both authentically, cast all those cares on him because he cares for you.

I hope you found encouragement in this. May God bless you and keep you, and make his face shine upon you, my friend. ❤️

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

10th September >> Mass Readings (USA)

Twenty Third Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

(Liturgical Colour: Green: 1 (A))

First Reading Ezekiel 33:7–9 If you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, I will hold you responsible for his death.

Thus says the LORD: You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me. If I tell the wicked, “O wicked one, you shall surely die,” and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death. But if you warn the wicked, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 95:1–2, 6–7, 8–9

R/ If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

Come, let us sing joyfully to the LORD; let us acclaim the rock of our salvation. Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us joyfully sing psalms to him.

R/ If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

Come, let us bow down in worship; let us kneel before the LORD who made us. For he is our God, and we are the people he shepherds, the flock he guides.

R/ If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

Oh, that today you would hear his voice: “Harden not your hearts as at Meribah, as in the day of Massah in the desert, where your fathers tempted me; they tested me though they had seen my works.”

R/ If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

Second Reading Romans 13:8–10 Love is the fulfillment of the law.

Brothers and sisters: Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation 2 Corinthians 5:19

Alleluia, alleluia. God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Matthew 18:15–20 If your brother or sister listens to you, you have won them over.

Jesus said to his disciples: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[thorne1435]

So I was reading that post about your moms and like - I hate to break it to you if you weren't aware, but Pentecostal publishers are basically like, *the* people who produce Christian cult home teaching books, especially stuff centered around young Earth Creationism so they're basically a larger-scale better funded cult too. Uhhh.... And Just to lighten things up, Music: Still Though We Should Dance by Radnor and Lee is really fun

(I'll get to the song later, send another ask if I don't)

Bro, you don't have to tell me.

Like, I didn't know that, and thank you for telling me, but you don't have to tell me that Pentecostals are a cult. Not even just because their beliefs are fucking creepy but because--and I'll say it once, very loudly--

EVERY SECT OF CHRISTIANITY IS A CULT!

All of it. Yes, even your chill Christian friends. Even the ones who are progressive. They're all cultists. And I--as I have recently realized--am recovering from being indoctrinated by a sect of that cult for my entire life up until, like, 3 years ago.

I care a lot about christianity, because it was what I was raised to be. I was meant to be a young christian man in this scary, antitheistic world of debauchery and sin and to prepare me for that life I was taught to really analyze the bible. As long as I didn't ask questions that realized the faults in the bible, of course. But by the time you're old enough to realize them, they've "directed you" away from them.

I know the bible really well. And what I know about it means very bad things for both Christianity and Judaism. And before you try, I'm not accepting "BuT ThOSe PArTs ArE sO OlD aNd We ARen'T liKe THaT AnYmOrE bECAuSe In A NeW BoOk--"

Don't bother. You both say the same things and you're both fucking wrong, your religions suck. The damage they've caused historically far outweighs any reform you could promise me.

I can't even say, with any confidence, that I don't believe in Christianity anymore, because I don't think I'm capable of not believing it. It was lodged into my brain in a way that has permanently damaged my emotions and my reasoning.

Case and point: I'm genuinely more inclined to believe that literally everyone is going to Hell--an afterlife defined by pure and unending suffering and torment with no rest or release ever--no matter what kind of life they live, because there's no way to reconcile what I logically know with what I've been indoctrinated to believe.

Do you know how awful that perspective is? I have woken up from religious nightmares in a panic, barely resisting the urge to beg some nonexistent Perfect Entity to not cast me into the worst things imaginable--knowing damn well he wouldn't fucking care.

Whenever I see anyone from the church I used to go to and they try to talk to me like we're still friends and like they've ever cared about me, I really just want to say that we're all going to hell and that trying to save yourself isn't going to work, because you don't know what the bible actually says--nobody does! The languages are all dead. We're all sinners, according to them, but according to actual facts and the general tendencies of their deity, we have no idea what to do and he doesn't care to fill us in.

And keep in mind--because this is usually the part where I forget--I don't believe in god. Not actively. But I can't escape that existential dread that there is some judgment-passing being that wants to cause suffering upon his creation. For what reason? Who fucking knows? I think it's because it amuses him, personally. That's the only interpretation that makes sense to me anymore.

But that's horrible. That's a horrible framework to have grafted onto your brain. And, at least for now, it looks like it's there for the long-haul.

I would ban religion entirely, if I could. I mean that with 100% sincerity. I think, ironically, that would protect children. Certainly a lot more than banning queer people. But both of those things are equally impossible, because the law isn't a god any more than anything else is.

So yeah, you don't have to use the Pentecostal facts on me to get me to hate that sect of christianity too. Because I hate them all. And, even though it isn't real, I believe I'll see them in Hell.

[simssaga]

Meet Jenna McCann💖 and brace yourself! This post is looooong... Jenna's the founder of this Current Household and whose shenanigans we'll be following going forward on this Simblr. In other words, she's the sim who's gonna start it all, if you will. 🤣 So... Please, allow me to properly introduce her.

Jenna grew up in the outskirts of Sunset Valley and is the sole daughter of the McCanns. The family has always lived a modest and frugal lifestyle, as far back as Jenna can remember. Due to the fact that her dad unfortunately was too ill to keep a fulltime job and her mom was busy raising her and making somewhat of a home. Her parents had been high school lovers and was rather careless as teenagers. One drunken night had resulted in a pregnancy and unfortunately for the youngsters, they were forced into getting married, in order to atone for their sin and shame - something Jenna's mom always blamed her for. In all honesty, her mom felt cheated out of a life of lavish, out of a life of comfort and out of the future she thought that she deserved. She had stayed married to Jenna's dad, as the shame of a divorce would be too great on top of the pregnancy-shame. Which had made her a bitter woman. Jenna's mom had a hard time reconciling with her lot in life and she never hid the resentment from her daughter or husband. Which, as you can imagine, took a toll on the family and their dynamic. Jenna's dad did his very best. He worked as hard as he could, providing for his family. He even loved his wife despite of everything she had done and put him through. There was never any doubt, that Jenna was the apple of his eye. He loved her tremendously. She was his pride and joy. The best thing that had happened to him and worth every struggle and pain. To Jenna he was her hero, her best friend and her biggest cheerleader. The two of them shared a unique and special bond, which almost seemed mythical. Unfortunately her dad passed away from his illness right as Jenna started high school and it truly devastated her. Jenna was crushed, her soul shattered and her heart broken. For a brief moment she had considered following him., but she knew he wouldn't want her to. Instead she would live life to the fullest and savor every single joyful moment in honor of her dad. Life became though after Jenna's dad passed. Jenna and her mom had truly never seen eye to eye and arguments flourished without her dad as a buffer. Ever since the passing, the two of them just never seemed to get along anymore. No matter what Jenna did, it only seemed to anger her mom even more and even when things were going seemingly good, her mom's mood would shift in an instant and all hell would break lose. On top of this the family had been struggling even more financially, which only irked Jenna's mom even more. Not even the fact, that Jenna had picked up a couple of parttime jobs in order to help out financially helped - Little of what Jenna did seemed to appease her mom and for each day that went by, Jenna felt more and more hopeless and sad. But having a somewhat decent pay did have it's perks, as Jenna had been able to save a bit of money, without her mom knowing. Jenna dreamed of going to University and getting a degree - all to kickstart a better life for herself and her family. But she knew her mom wouldn't approve due to the cost. But with the life insurance money from her father and her secret savings, Jenna would probably be able realize her dream. For a moment, things was looking somewhat bright for Jenna, despite all the heartache.

Unfortunately, things weren't as bright as Jenna had hoped.

One day, after school, Jenna came home to an empty house up for sale and a letter neatly placed on the kitchen counter. Jenna picked up the envelope and with trembling hands she opened it. Out fell a couple hundred simoleons and a little handwritten note. Jenna looked in disbelief at her mom's neat handwriting and she almost fell to her knees from sheer shock. How could she? How could she just leave? And when did she even meet this new husband? Jenna felt her eyes begin to slowly fill with tears, as she read on. Her stomach tightening into a big knot. Her mom had just abandoned her for another man and his family. She had cut all ties to Jenna and only left her with a couple of hundred simoleons, most of her clothing and her fathers little black leather watch - Nothing else - Not even a sincere goodbye, only a stupid note and no understandable explanation. Jenna angrily scrunched up the paper and threw it at the kitchen door, before letting out a giant sigh. Then she froze. She couldn't have, could she? How would she even know? Jenna dropped her schoolbag from her shoulder and ran to her room. She ripped open the somewhat empty dresser, only to find the little blue piggy bank, normally hidden beneath her workout clothes, empty. Her mother had stolen all of her savings too. Jenna felt herself going numb and emotionless as she stumbled backward and dropped to the floor in sheer shock. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and dialed her best friend Evion's number and before Evion even managed finish her greeting, Jenna let out a heart wrenching cry and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Luckily for Jenna, she was able to live with Evion and her family until graduation. The Ashwells had been kind enough to open their home for Jenna and take her in with no expectations. Jenna was beyond grateful. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt loved. Evion's mom even worked as a guidance counselor and with her help, Jenna was able to apply for scholarship. Jenna didn't dare to hope to begin with, but to her astonishment she managed to actually get it. Jenna had worked her little peach off, she had played well on the soccer field and gotten good grades, which had paid off. The two girls planned on sharing the cost of living expenses while on campus, so Jenna would be able to attend university, despite everything.

This is where our simblr begins! With the girls going off to University 😊 If you wanna know more about Jenna, such as her traits, lifetime wish and so on - Click here!

[beloved-not-broken]

A hard pill to swallow

I was talking with a friend the other day who is planning to have a hard conversation with non-affirming relatives about their beliefs. And I realized, as I was sending my friend resources, that this conversation might not end with everyone being on the same page.

In fact, no one may end up changing their minds.

If you've ever been in a situation like this, or if you're planning to confront your non-affirming relatives, it's not your responsibility to make them come around. You could do hours of research, come up with the best argument, and still get nowhere.

That's when you have to set boundaries.

Something similar happened to me after I came out as queer. My best friend at the time took a "hate the sin, love the sinner" stance, and I began to distance myself from them. (Here's the full story.)

Here's what my boundaries looked like:

Limiting contact with my friend while I processed their feedback, which came about six months after I came out

Processing my hurt privately, but talking to my therapist and some people in my support system when needed

Attempting to feel all my emotions, while also considering that my friend reacted logically based on their conservative upbringing

Continuing to do the work of understanding the trajectory of scripture (toward inclusion rather than exclusion) and growing in my faith as a queer Christian

Allowing them to follow me on Instagram, where I primarily post church activities, but not following them back

As of writing, we have not reconciled, so our friendship has effectively ended.

Do I miss being friends with them? Absolutely. It's not easy to lose a friend, regardless of their beliefs. But I'm also realizing that this friendship was seasonal, like many relationships are. We had our good times, and it's time for us to go our separate ways.

Setting boundaries comes with a mixed bag of emotions.

You may feel hurt, sad, angry, relieved... all of these feelings are valid when setting boundaries. At the end of the day, you're responsible for yourself and your peace, and no one else's. 💜

[mimi-cee-hq]

Okay okay thanks so much mimi TuT so... i will have my birthday this week and i'm going to past 20... then it comes to mind that in the past 1 year i have not any achievement that really worth ..and also that looks like i let my parents down.

I even have set myself many targets. Doing good at my uni, and then having a clear path to work. But i felt i haven't achieved any of that. Those things makes me scared to go home this week because i know my mom gonna congrulate my birthday and that reminds me even more of my failure :( So uh, mimi do you have any advice for this confused 20+1 adult-kid?  ☹

(ah ha... This got long because I guess this is a topic that I had to learn so I actually had more than I thought I'd say. I did restrain myself, but it was still long, so there a read more break lol)

First of all, happy birthday!!! (Whenever it happened :D)

As for the rest of your ask, it's really common to not meet your targets! When we make plans, we often don't make realistic ones. Also, life happens and there's a lot we can't control. But I understand how discouraging it can be to not be able to accomplish what you want to do. If you want more practical advice on setting goals, I know there are a lot of books and articles out there to help you. Things like setting goals that are realistic, measurable, etc. (I'm personally not a goal setter myself because I get too discouraged lolll. So I can't really point you to specific resources, but maybe you can ask around or research it.)

Also, maybe think again if you really didn't accomplish anything. If you remember something you did, try writing it down. It's really easy to forget what we've actually done. And also check to make sure you're not feeling like this because you're comparing yourself to other people. :)

Another thing. You might have actually been lazy the past year and you're feeling the effects of that. 🤷‍♀️ I'm just being real because that happens to me too. However, I didn't get that impression from your ask. You ultimately know better than I do. But regardless of whether or not you've actually failed, your failures don't define who you are. :)

(So this is the part where I talk about my faith because that's just who I am lol.)

When I was younger, I placed a lot of pressure on myself to please my parents and to not disappoint them. That's where I put my self-worth. But when the things about God finally got through to me, it changed me. For example, the fact that Jesus loved me despite fully knowing all of my sins, weaknesses and failures changed how I viewed myself. He knows all the bad things I did that I don't even know myself, so I'm probably worse than I think I am lolll. But God, who is righteous, holy, and is totally justified to punish me for my sins, made a way for us to be reconciled because He loves me! (I feel like I'm rambling now but I guess I like talking about this when people are willing to hear it. 😅)

Basically, when I remember these things (and I often forget 🤦‍♀️), I'm not so focused on what I didn't accomplish anymore because God knows all of that and still loves me. And if God loves me despite all of that, what I think or what my parents think doesn't matter as much. It changes my perspective. :)

I also learned (and am continuing to learn) how to work hard and just leave the results to God, but I feel like that's getting into a slightly different topic. I might begin to ramble about my university years if I start now. lolll.

I hope that helped you in some way! I feel like I said a lot, so I hope you got at least something from all of that. And thank you for sending this ask because I need to take my own advice too. I'm in a different stages of life now but the same principles apply. :)

[steveezekiel]

A GENUINE SALVATION

2 BUT go over to Calneh and see what happened there. Then go to the great city of Hamath and down to the Philistine city of Gath. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN THEY WERE, and LOOK AT HOW THEY WERE DESTROYED. 3 YOU push away every THOUGHT of coming DISASTER, BUT YOUR ACTIONS ONLY BRING THE DAY OF JUDGMENT CLOSER.” Amos 6:2,3 (NLT)

• If you are alive, you are not better than those who are dead, It was the mercy of God that made you to be alive.

- Some people who claimed to be Christians still wallow; indulge and luxuriate, in Sin, thinking they are safe in the church.

- You cannot be pretentious, be wallowing in Sin, and wanted to show yourself as a saint, whilst you are not clean.

- Have you not read that the judgement of God would start right in the church:

17 FOR IT IS TIME FOR JUDGMENT TO BEGIN WITH GOD’S HOUSEHOLD; And IF IT BEGINS WITH US, WHAT WILL THE OUTCOME BE FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT OBEY the GOSPEL OF GOD? 18 And, “IF IT IS HARD FOR THE RIGHTEOUS TO BE SAVED, WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE UNGODLY AND THE SINNER?” (1 Peter 4:17,18 NKJV).

You cannot continue in Sin and say grace should abound:

1 What shall we say then? SHALL WE CONTINUE IN SIN THAT GRACE MAY ABOUND? 2 CERTAINLY NOT! HOW SHALL WE WHO DIED TO SIN LIVE ANY LONGER IN IT?” (Romans 6:1,2 NKJV).

• The Israelites were living in fool’s paradise, they would not want to hear or welcome the thought of God’s Judgement, and they continued in their Sin.

- They did not know that their evil Action was bringing the day of judgement closer and faster.

- You professed to be a Believer but your conduct, way and manner of life, denies what you professed to be:

“THEY profess to know God, BUT IN WORKS THEY DENY HIM, being abominable, disobedient, And DISQUALIFIED FOR EVERY GOOD WORK” (Titus 1:16 NKJV).

READ: 2 Timothy 3:5

- You may not need to tell people that you are a Christian or a Believer in Christ Jesus, before they know you are one; your actions and ways of life should show it.

- Some had the notions that God is too merciful to judge someone for Minor Sins; thus they continue deceiving themselves.

- They had forgotten that God is a God of mercy, but He is God of Judgement also. IN fact, the Bible also called Him a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29).

- The God we serve is a many sided God, His wisdom is infinite varieties, and variegated, and in the innumerable aspects (Ephesians 3:10).

• The key to eternal life is the Salvation of your soul—being born again.

- Without new birth, being reborn, no one can see God (John 3:3).

- New birth is being repentant of your Sin, and believing in your heart, and confessing Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour (Romans 10:9,10).

- The process is, you believe in your Heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus died for your Sins and resurrected that you might be justified, or made right with God (Romans 4:25; 10:9,10).

THE Step is about being reconciled back to God through faith in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:18-21).

IF the step is taken and the prayers are sincerely prayed, you have become a Believer in Christ Jesus. You are born again. You are a new creation, and all the old things about your life are gone, they have passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17).

• Some claimed to be born again yet they drink Sin, as If they are drinking water.

- Whoever genuinely accepted Jesus Christ as his or her Lord and Saviour would have a distate for Sin.

- Someone who wallows in Sin yet claiming to be born-again must have something wrong about his or her Salvation—the Christian life.

BECAUSE what such professed to be, is not consistent with his or her character—the way and manner of their lives:

“HAVING A FORM OF GODLINESS BUT DENYING ITS POWER. And FROM SUCH PEOPLE TURN AWAY!” (2 Timothy 3:5 NKJV).

- How would someone who claimed to be born-again be committing Sin, living habitually in it, and without any remorse.

- Some even boast in their Sins. They could not see any wrong in what they are doing.

- May be in the church you attend, you were taught that one cannot completely or totally free from Sin, that God also understands our shortcomings.

IF you are hearing such a message, they are driving you to destructions—hell fire.

- When you are genuinely saved, you have the power through the help of the Holy Spirit to live above Sin.

- Someone said a pastor preaches that whoever is bound in a particular sinful habit could be free from it, or stop the habit, gradually.

- He uses smoking of cigarettes as an example. That the person who is bound by smoking should start by dropping or reducing the number of sticks he smokes per day, until he could get over it completely.

- That, If he usually smokes seven sticks of cigarettes in a day; that such should reduce it to six, after some time, he should reduce it to five, and continues until he comes over the habit completely.

- This is an erroneous teaching and it is not consistent with the Word of God—the Bible. If the person died, or the rapture takes place, in the process of quitting the Sin gradually; Where would such spend the eternity?

- The Minister who preaches or teaches that, Does he believe in the second coming of Christ at all? In the process of dropping or quitting the smoking of cigarettes monthly or bimonthly, and Jesus comes, would such be raptured?

• If you are genuinely born-again, the crave, desire or thirsting for Sin should die in you.

- If someone is a chain-smoker, who smokes about fifteen sticks daily, and such got saved. Thus, If he started dropping the numbers of cigarettes which he smokes daily, one in every month. It means It would take him about fifteen months before he could get over the habit of smoking completely. THE teaching is completely erroneous and devilish.

- The truth is, someone who smokes one stick of cigarette, or drinks a bottle of beer, or keeps only a sex partner, is the same with the person who smokes fifteen sticks of cigarettes, or drinks ten bottles of beer, and the one who has multiple sex partners—who wallows in these sinful habits.

- If someone is genuinely born-again, such would not consider living in Sin at all. He or she would have a distate; a dislike or disinclination, for Sin completely:

6 ANYONE WHO CONTINUES TO LIVE IN HIM WILL NOT SIN. BUT ANYONE WHO KEEPS ON SINNING DOES NOT KNOW HIM or UNDERSTAND WHO HE IS. 7 Dear children, DON’T let ANYONE DECEIVE YOU about THIS: When people do what is RIGHT, IT shows that THEY ARE RIGHTEOUS, EVEN as Christ IS RIGHTEOUS. 8 BUT WHEN PEOPLE KEEP ON SINNING, IT SHOWS THAT THEY BELONG TO THE DEVIL, WHO has been SINNING since the BEGINNING. BUT the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. 9 THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN BORN INTO GOD’S FAMILY DO NOT MAKE A PRACTICE OF SINNING, BECAUSE God’s LIFE is in THEM. So THEY CAN’T KEEP ON SINNING, BECAUSE THEY ARE CHILDREN OF GOD” (1 John 3:6-9 NLT).

If you claimed to be born-again, yet you are wallowing in Sin, you would need to check whether your salvation is actually genuine or authentic.

• A genuine salvation.

If you are genuinely saved, you would love God, and hate Sin.

YOU also would love the Word of God, the gathering of the people of God, and the desire to pray and study the Bible would be in you.

THE things of the Spirit would matter to you than the mundane things.

- I cannot understand those who claimed to be born-again, who had no flair, keenness or eagerness, for the things of God.

- If you detested all the above mentioned things; the studying of the Bible, prayers, fellowship or the gathering of the people of God, the Believers; your salvation might not be genuine.

BECAUSE, you cannot be genuinely born-again, or saved, and detested the things and the people of God’s Kingdom. Never.

• If you are not sure of the salvation of your soul. That is, you are not sure whether you are born-again or not, I would enjoin you to do that now as you are reading this, because tomorrow might be too late:

1 WE then, AS WORKERS together with HIM also PLEAD WITH YOU NOT TO RECEIVE THE GRACE OF GOD IN VAIN. 2 FOR He says: “In an acceptable time I have heard you, And in the day of salvation I have helped you.” BEHOLD, NOW IS THE ACCEPTED TIME; BEHOLD, NOW IS THE DAY OF SALVATION” (2 Corinthians 6:1,2 NKJV).

Give your life to Jesus Christ today that you may not be condemned with the world (1 Corinthians 11:32).

• Say this prayer: Jesus, I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and I believe you died for my Sins and resurrected that I might be justified, made right with God.

THUS, I confess that you are my Lord, and accept you as my Saviour. Come into my heart, and let my name be written in the Book of Life.

Thank you because you have done it, in Jesus’ name I prayed.

• You will not fail in Jesus’ name.

- If there is any ailment in your body, receive your healing now in Jesus’ name.

- Hold of Sin, sickness, or whatever of the devil, is broken completely in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

Peace!

[whispersleftunsaid]

For I Will Yet Praise Him

Oh God You know how my heart mourns for itself. Despite the fact that today I should wake up with joy for You have risen, I find myself unable to celebrate for I have cast incredible pain and inflicted such great sorrow upon one I hold dearly in my heart. And what more, it was over something I failed to be clear with and so a misunderstanding was birthed.

Yet Lord, despite having such great selfishness and the audacity to make this day, of all days, about me. You my dear God have treated me no differently. I was first reminded of my blog yesterday. The promises I held onto and the conviction of Your unfailing goodness. I had to preach it to myself and was lead then to writing a letter of apology and clarification to the one I believe I grieved even if that sister of mine has no ill will against me.

It is true what You said Lord Jesus. That if I am going to worship You and there find myself not ok with a sibling in my faith, I should leave my offering at the altar and first reconcile myself to that person. I was washed with such great peace even if I haven’t sent the message because I did not wish to sadden my sister on a day such as today. She was going to church as well and the last thing I wanted to do was distract her from the preaching or ruin her celebration of Your resurrection.

That consideration was an affirmation to me that I have pleased You not just by obeying your command of reconciliation but also that call in Philippians to count others as more significant than yourself.

Just as prayer time was starting, I felt my Apple Watch vibrate with a message and I got a text from that same sister I have grieved with a message that she was to return something of mine. I knew without her telling me what she was returning and I found myself in sorrow once more as I was reminded of the pain I inflicted. I know she had no intention to hurt me by that message of hers. Yet I still found myself crestfallen at the reminder of the sorrow I must’ve inflicted upon her for her to do such a thing. I was saddened by my own sinfulness and the destruction it brings. I thought I’ve changed, I thought I was better. I hated that I inflict such pain upon the people around me.

I felt so unworthy but You gave me strength and hope as I was able to approach You with confidence before Your throne of grace (a reminder from a quiet time of mine earlier this week). I lifted to You my heart and as the prayer leader was praying, my heart resounded as he asked You God to humble our hearts before You so we could hear Your message for us today. For You to not allow any spiritual pride to keep us from hearing You. I desired not to make this day anymore about myself. I wish to behold my Lord in all His goodness to find hope once more for myself.

I was lead into worshipping You God with beautiful songs of praise all about Your resurrection. Songs of praise to the One who saves sinners like me. There were old songs I sang that I haven’t heard in a long time that brought me back to my early days of my faith in You. The songs were reminders of God’s faithfulness to me in the past and of my joy in You. We sang a new song, my favorite one being the Lamb of God by Matt Redman.

“But the most enduring wonder

My soul has ever seen

Is the Lamb of God on Calvary”

“Behold the Son of God Who takes away our sin

Behold His perfect sacrifice

Behold the wounds of grace

Upon His hands and feet

Oh the Lamb of God on Calvary”

Such beautiful words to sing unto You God. Reminders of Your majesty best displayed on Jesus dying on the cross. The praise was flowing and pouring out from my heart and my soul resonated with everyone in celebration upon the exhortation of Your words in the gospels that recount of Mary finding the tomb empty. Behold the savior has risen!

My savior has risen! The hope for my depraved life is assured because of He has risen. My experiences of His intimacy are real. His promises towards me are true. My God, my Savior, Jesus Christ is risen!

During the message by Pastor Ricky of how His love gives us great hope as found in 1 Corinthians 15, there was one part of his message I could not believe he spoke the specific words he spoke. The words he said were along the lines of “If you feel that you’ve done something you cannot undo or come back from, rejoice for your forgiveness is made complete in Christ!”

Oh Lord! You have sent him to encourage me indeed. I felt soooooo loved by You, my El Roi, the God who Sees. It was no sheer coincidence that those exact words “done something you cannot undo” were uttered by Pastor Ricky. I did not want to make this day about me, yet it was an undeniable loving act of Yours towards me who so easily forgets You. Such grace I do not deserve. You see me God in my pain and though that was enough to encourage me, the words that followed were forgiveness.

I’ve been forgiven despite inflicting such great pain unto Your daughter. Shucks Lord. Why do You know exactly what my soul needed to hear?

I recall the TikTok You allowed me to go through discussing Psalm 42. YADAH. The Hebrew word for Praise. Despite great sadness, the psalmist says “For I will yet praise You, my Savior and my God!”

That was my heart then. Yadah, which means praise, you thanking God AND confessing His name. “Thank You Lord for I have been forgiven! I confess the greatness of the glory of Your name!”

To add to joy and blessing of this day, I was gifted a new ESV study Bible by my dad. Though I will have to pay for it because he paid for it, I was rejoicing at a reminder of this day. AND Zach got the same Bible too! I got a Bible case that says Soar Like an Eagle.

”but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.“

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭31‬ ‭ESV‬‬

A reminder of this verse from Isaiah that is so true! I experienced this firsthand HUHU!

ON TOP OF THAT, my brother wanted to trade bibles with me because he saw his to have a slight imperfection. I gladly traded despite liking a clean and new Bible because now this Bible also was an act of service towards my dear twin brother who God used to introduce me to Jesus way back in college.

OH I FORGOT! Before we left the worship hall, I was hoping to see my old friends in CCF but instead we bumped into an officemate of ours! WAH! He was a CCFer pala? No wonder he shared that he read the book of holiness I was reading about RC Sproul!

It was such a good day and my heart was full of joy! There were moments I still found myself saddened a bit when I sent my message to the girl and had Zach read her tumblr post so he could understand what I was going through because he noticed I was down earlier.

But man God, the sadness felt light and the joy solid because of all Your acts of faithfulness to me today. You added one more. I tried this new feature on Messenger called Highlights and I saw a post of a sister celebrating her Dgroup’s (Discipleship group) anniversary yesterday. It brought me to figuring out when I started mine.

It turns out it was around THIS SAME TIME DIN when I took on the call to disciple based on messages to my first Discipleship leader (Senpai). I added the screenshots below. I know this disciple never really continued under me and I do not remember his face or how I got his mom’s number (I think it’s from the Dgroup Management ministry). But it doesn’t change the fact that I was planning to disciple him in faith. I thanked my leader on Mar 31 and given that it’s today, I will celebrate henceforth my Dgroup’s anniversary!

Oh Lord! How can it be that today of all days is not just a day we celebrate Your resurrection but also the day I took the call to disciple. It is also the day I was gifted with a new song of praise to You and a Bible. It is also the day I experienced Your grace despite my unworthiness over and over and over again. Even as I end, there is another song I am introduced to because I’ve let Spotify just play worship songs since Lamb of God as I wrote this entry.

WHO IS LIKE THE LORD INDEED HUHU! How is great is Your faithfulness! I shall forever remember today as the day my hope became so alive and real 😭

[sojourneronearth]

Notes on book: Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God - J I Packer

Contents

Divine sovereignty

Divine sovereignty&human responsibility

Evangelism

Divine sovereignty&Evangelism

- “Confess our own impotence and God’s sovereignty” - Conversion is not 1 point in time. It’s continuous. Every second every moment God sustains me - Our confidence in praying for the lost is that - what we ask for - God is ABLE - Human responsibility and divine sovereignty is an antimony. This differs to a paradox. Both are realities that need to be held to the max. Strongly assert both truths - “I never reconcile friends” - Spurgeon

Jesus' invite is genuine

Evangelism as a human enterprise is a definite fail

the spirit of this age is impatience

Trusting in the person of Christ & his saving work

Evangelism is for love&concern for God's glory & love and concern for Man and his welfare

Honor God & respect the person

Quotations..

"The prayer of a Christian is not an attempt to force God's hand, but a humble acknowledgment of helpless dependence"

"Evangelism is the issuing of a call to turn, as well as to trust; it is the delivering, not merely of a divine invitation to receive a saviour, but of a divine command to repent of sin"

"Faith is essentially the casting &resting of oneself & one's confidence on the promises&mercy which Christ has given to sinners&on the Christ who gave those promises..repentance is a change of mind&heart, a new life of denying self&serving the Saviour as King in self's place"

"In common honesty, we must not conceal the fact that free forgiveness in one sense will cost everything"

"Personal evangelism needs normally to be founded on friendship. You are not normally justified in choosing the subject of conversation with another till you have already begun to give yourself to him in friendship&established a relationship with him in which he feels that you respect him and are interested in him and are treating him as a human being and not just some kind of 'case'

It is true that God has, from an eternity chosen whom He will save. It is true that Christ came specifically to save those whom the Father has given Him. But it is also true that Christ offers himself freely to all men as their Saviour, and guarantees to bring to glory everyone who trusts in Him as such

The results of preaching depend, not on the wishes&intentions of men, but on the will of God almighty..this consideration does mean we ought not to define evangelism in terms of achieved results

We should not be held back by the thought that if they are not elect, they will not believe us and our efforts to convert them will fail. That is true' but it is none of our business and should make no difference to our action. In the first place, it is always wrong to abstain from doing good for fear that it might not be appreciated. Second, the non elect in this world are faceless men as far as we are concerned. We know that they exist, but we do not & cannot know who they are & it is as futile as it is impious for us to try and guess. The identity of the reprobate is one of God's 'secret things' into which his people may not pry. Thirdly, our calling as Christians is not to love God's elect&them only, but to love our neighbour, irrespective of whether he is elect or not

[christian-perspectives]

Freedom From God For Everyone

God wants every person to experience His freedom. And everyone can because Jesus paid the price that God required. He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. This is the message God gave to the world at just the right time. 1 Timothy 2:6 God gave us freedom at just the right time. How do we know that? Because God’s timing always occurs at the right time. The question we must first entertain concerns the definition of freedom. In America, we live in the home of the brave and the land of the free. That freedom, however, didn’t come without a price. We celebrate days throughout the year to remember those killed and honor those who fought for our freedom. As much as we enjoy our freedom, that’s not what this verse is talking about. Let’s read the biblical definition of the freedom afforded us by God. Freedom in Christ is not the right to do what we want. But it gives us freedom to live in obedience to the will of God. Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. John 8:34,36 Early on, the disciples thought that Jesus would free Israel from the bondage of the Roman Empire. But He came to free from sin those who call upon Him and give them eternal life.

The Freedom to Pray

Paul wrote to Timothy, encouraging him in light of the freedom we have from God to pray. I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 1 Timothy 2:1 He needed, however, to also pray the same way for those in authority. In the Psalms, David often prayed that God would strike his enemies down. Now, we pray for and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. 1 Timothy 2:2 The apostle went on to say that it pleases God when we pray that way. He wants everyone to come to know Christ and to understand the truth. Because there’s only one path they can take. For, there is one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity—the man Christ Jesus. 1 Timothy 2:5 After you read the next verse, think about the tremendous spiritual impact that would happen across our nation. Especially if men from every church in America did what this verse says. In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy. 1 Timothy 2:8

Instructions for the Women

Paul also gave some instructions to the women as well. Keep in mind, though, that some of what he said addressed the culture of that day. But he also spoke to women of all cultures as well. And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 1 Timothy 2:9 Ok, ladies, before this becomes a turn-off to you, let’s look at what the apostle meant. He did not say you can’t dress stylishly, but he did begin the paragraph by emphasizing modesty. Neither did he say that you can’t fix your hair in a way that would add to your beauty. He didn’t say wearing nice jewelry in any form was off-limits. Paul didn’t emphasize any of those things. He said, don’t use them to draw attention to yourself. I want to share an example of an experience my wife and I had once. One day, a young lady came into the office for counseling. She was attractive, and she knew it. She told us she dressed and created an appearance so heads would turn her way. In fact, she was disappointed if men didn’t look at her. Reading a little further in this chapter, the apostle encouraged women to become attractive. But to do it by their devotion to God, not the way women of the world do. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. 1 Timothy 2:10

Take Your God Given Freedom

In other words, God wants you to take your freedom in Him. Then, you can let your beauty shine through as you continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty. When Paul wrote to the Galatian church, he spoke to them about our freedom in God. This time, he addressed the men and women together. For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13 We can easily lose our freedom if we decide to turn our backs on God. The following two verses tell us how we can keep our freedom and how we can lose it. - For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another. Galatians 5:14-15  I like the way Galatians 5:1 began that chapter. And we will use that same verse to close our discussion here.  - So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. Galatians 5:1 Dear God, the enemy wants to rob us of the freedom we have in you. We pray that you will help us to make sure that we stay free. Check out these related posts about freedom - God Helps the Helpless and Sets Us Free - How To Be Free In Life Read the full article