#Remembered that Warren has a motorcycle.

[stridersdiner]

Rancher!Graves likes his bikes.

It took a while for our teenaged Phil to figure out what exactly was wrong with that ol' motorcycle his friend Hank told him about. If only Hank knew he had just unleashed a new obsession that'd follow Phil into adulthood.

Hank's father has had this thing for the better half of a decade, and when it broke down some two years ago, it was doomed to collect dust at his estate. Something about being a wealthy man meant being able to afford such fleeting hobbies, but he was charitable enough to give it to Phil so long as he was willing to put in the work to fix it.

It took months of troubleshooting and tinkering. The spare shed was in disarray; ground littered with spare parts and tools, smears of oil and grease (it was getting hard to tell what was what at this point), and a handful of mechanics guides and books. He had some sleepless nights, fueled by the interlocked hands of want and need shrouding his mind.

He often spent mornings climbing out of the shed and lugging himself onto the school bus, where Hank would give him a knowing look and insist on calling a mechanic from a few towns over to help-

"You can't keep sleeping through English, Phil. My father was only kiddin' about fixing it yourself."

but Phil knew better. Better to get the job done yourself. Feels better that way anyways.

God, was he right. He turned the key with baited breath, eyes wide as the instrument panel lit up. The motor purred to life in an instant, and when he turned one of the handles, it roared. He had never been happier, running his hand over the shiny red fuel tank, the tight upholstered leather seat. He laughed- he yawped. And Pa came rushin' over like he had heard the end of the world start from inside his own shed.

"Philly, what in the world are you doin' makin' this much noise?" "Finally got 'er workin', Pa!"

Pa's panic softened as he took a second to really listen to the motor. He circled the bike, staring down at it and back up at Phil. He was proud, honestly, as he clapped his hand over Phil's shoulder.

"Y'know, Ma didn't actually think you'd be able to fix it up. Think that was the only reason she let ya' have it."

And Phil's smile grew wider.

"I'll jus' tell 'er I'll only ride it into town." "You lyin'?" "Yup-yup."

When Ma found out, it took her nearly a year to come to terms with the fact that her baby boy was riding a motorcycle. Ever the worrywart. She frowned every time she watched him mount the bike, sighing as she watched him put on his helmet (that she made him get) and fix his riding gloves (that she also made him get).

But that bike was his pride and joy for years. He rode it to prom, and his high school graduation ceremony. He wiped it down every other day, and made sure the paint was still shiny. So when that trusty 1985 Honda Shadow finally bit the dust, he was devastated.

Cried real tears, maybe ones worse than when Joey left for the army.

And then picked himself up and started workin' hard to replace it. He drove Pa's ol' truck for the time being.

After a little while, he finally saved up enough to get a brand new bike. Could barely contain himself when Pa drove him to go pick it up- clutching onto his helmet, flipping the visor up and down like a light switch. He was thrilled to be back on a bike, and he practically left Pa in the dust during the ride home. (Phil pulled off to the side of the road to wait because he felt bad for leaving him so far behind.)

Even now, when you finally agree to take a ride with him on his precious bike, he's still just as excited as he was when he first mounted that Shadow back in high school- especially at the feeling of your arms wrapping around his middle and the side of your helmet pressed against his shoulder blade. He loves being close to you. He loves it even more when you're clinging onto him. He takes you out on the bike a lot more now that he knows you're not that scared of it anymore.

Babes that wanted to be tagged:

@mockerycrow @kivi-no

[1962dude420-blog]

Today we remember the passing of Peter Fonda who Died: August 16, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.

Peter Henry Fonda (February 23, 1940 – August 16, 2019) was an American actor, director, and screenwriter. He was the son of Henry Fonda, younger brother of Jane Fonda, and father of Bridget Fonda. He was a part of the counterculture of the 1960s. Fonda was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for Easy Rider (1969), and the Academy Award for Best Actor for Ulee's Gold (1997). For the latter, he won the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama. Fonda also won the Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor – Series, Miniseries or Television Film for The Passion of Ayn Rand (1999).

Fonda was born on February 23, 1940, in New York City, the only son of actor Henry Fonda (1905–1982) and his wife Frances Ford Seymour (1908–1950); his older sister was actress Jane Fonda (born 1937). He and Jane had a half-sister, Frances de Villers Brokaw (1931–2008), from their mother's first marriage. Their mother committed suicide in a mental hospital when Peter, her youngest, was ten. He did not discover the circumstances or location of her death until he was 15 years old.

On his eleventh birthday, he accidentally shot himself in the abdomen and nearly died. He went to the Indian hill station of Nainital and stayed for a few months for recovery. Years later, he referred to this incident while with John Lennon and George Harrison while taking LSD. He said, "I know what it's like to be dead." This inspired The Beatles' song "She Said She Said".

Peter attended the Fay School in Southborough, Massachusetts, and was a member of the class of 1954. He then matriculated to Westminster School, a Connecticut boarding school in Simsbury, where he graduated in 1958.

Once he graduated, Fonda studied acting in Omaha, Nebraska, his father's home town. While attending the University of Nebraska-Omaha, Fonda joined the Omaha Community Playhouse, having been recruited by Marlon Brando's mother.

By the mid-1960s, Fonda was not a conventional "leading man" in Hollywood. As Playboy magazine reported, Fonda had established a "solid reputation as a dropout". He had become outwardly nonconformist and grew his hair long and took LSD regularly, alienating the "establishment" film industry. Desirable acting work became scarce. Through his friendships with members of the band The Byrds, Fonda visited The Beatles in their rented house in Benedict Canyon in Los Angeles in August 1965. While John Lennon, Ringo Starr, George Harrison, and Fonda were under the influence of LSD, Lennon heard Fonda say, "I know what it's like to be dead." Lennon used the phrase in the lyrics for his song, "She Said She Said", which was included on their 1966 album, Revolver.

In 1966, Fonda was arrested in the Sunset Strip riot, which the police ended forcefully. The band Buffalo Springfield protested the department's handling of the incident in their song "For What It's Worth". Fonda sang some and in 1967 recorded "November Night", a 45-rpm single written by Gram Parsons for the Chisa label, backed with "Catch the Wind" by Donovan, produced by Hugh Masekela.

Fonda's first counterculture-oriented film role was as a biker in Roger Corman's B movie The Wild Angels (1966). Fonda originally was to support George Chakiris, but graduated to the lead when Chakiris revealed he could not ride a motorcycle. In the film, Fonda delivered a "eulogy" at a fallen Angel's funeral service. This was sampled by Psychic TV on their 1988 LP recording Jack the TAB. It was later sampled in the Primal Scream recording "Loaded" (1991), and in other rock songs. The movie was a big hit at the box office, screened at the Venice Film Festival, launched the biker movie genre, and established Peter Fonda as a movie name. Fonda made a television pilot, High Noon: The Clock Strikes Noon Again, filmed in December 1965. It was based on the film High Noon (1952), starring Gary Cooper, with Fonda in the Cooper role. However, it did not become a series.

Fonda next played the male lead in Corman's film The Trip (1967), a take on the experience and "consequences" of consuming LSD, which was written by Jack Nicholson. His co stars included Susan Strasberg, Bruce Dern and Dennis Hopper. The movie was a hit. Fonda then traveled to France to appear in the portmanteau horror movie Spirits of the Dead (1968). His segment co-starred his sister Jane and was directed by her then-husband Roger Vadim. For American television, he appeared in a movie, Certain Honorable Men (1968), alongside Van Heflin, written by Rod Serling.

Fonda produced, co-wrote and starred in Easy Rider (1969), directed by Dennis Hopper. Easy Rider is about two long-haired bikers traveling through the southwestern and southern United States where they encounter intolerance and violence. Fonda played "Wyatt", a charismatic, laconic man whose motorcycle jacket bore a large American flag across the back. Dennis Hopper played the garrulous "Billy". Jack Nicholson played George Hanson, an alcoholic civil rights lawyer who rides along with them. Fonda co-wrote the screenplay with Terry Southern and Hopper.

Fonda tried to secure financing from Roger Corman and American International Pictures (AIP), with whom he had made The Wild Angels and The Trip, but they were reluctant to finance a film directed by Hopper. They succeeded getting money from Columbia Pictures. Hopper filmed the cross-country road trip depicted almost entirely on location. Fonda had secured funding of around $360,000, largely based on the fact he knew that it was the budget Roger Corman needed to make The Wild Angels. The guitarist and composer Robbie Robertson, of The Band, was so moved by an advance screening that he approached Fonda and tried to convince him to let him write a complete score, even though the film was nearly due for wide release. Fonda declined the offer, instead using Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild", Bob Dylan's "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)" sung by The Byrds' Roger McGuinn, and Robertson's own composition "The Weight", performed by The Band, among many other tracks.

The film was released to international success. Jack Nicholson was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Fonda, Hopper and Southern were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. The film grossed over $40 million.

After the success of Easy Rider, both Hopper and Fonda were sought for film projects. Hopper directed the film The Last Movie (1971), in which Fonda co-starred along with singer Michelle Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas. Fonda directed and starred in the Western film The Hired Hand (1971). He took the lead role in a cast that also featured Warren Oates, Verna Bloom and Beat Generation poet Michael McClure. The film received mixed reviews and failed commercially upon its initial release, but many years later, in 2001, a fully restored version was shown at various film festivals and was re-released by the Sundance Channel on DVD that same year in two separate editions. Fonda later directed the science fiction film Idaho Transfer (1973). He did not appear in the film, and the film received mixed reviews upon its limited release. Around the same time, he co-starred with Lindsay Wagner in Two People (also 1973) for director Robert Wise, in which he portrayed a Vietnam War deserter.

Fonda starred alongside Susan George in the film Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry (1974), a film about two NASCAR hopefuls who execute a supermarket heist to finance their jump into big-time auto racing. The film was a box-office hit that year. It led to Fonda making a series of action movies: Open Season (1974), with William Holden; Race with the Devil (1975), fleeing devil worshippers with Warren Oates; 92 in the Shade (1975), again with Oates, for writer-director Thomas McGuane; Killer Force (1976) for director Val Guest; Futureworld (1976), a sequel to Westworld (1973), financed by AIP; Fighting Mad (1976), a reuniting with Roger Corman, directed by Jonathan Demme.

Outlaw Blues (1977) was a drama, with Fonda playing a musician opposite Susan Saint James. After some more action with High-Ballin' (1978), Fonda returned to directing, with the controversial drama Wanda Nevada (1979), wherein the 39-year-old Fonda starred as the "love" interest of the then 13-year-old Brooke Shields. His father, Henry Fonda, made a brief appearance as well, and it is the only film in which they performed together.

His final portrayal was in the Vietnam War movie The Last Full Measure. The director of that film, Todd Robinson, has recounted that Peter Fonda was able to view that film in its entirety, and got emotional upon viewing it.

Fonda died from respiratory failure caused by lung cancer at his home in Los Angeles on August 16, 2019, at the age of 79.

Following Fonda's death, his sister Jane Fonda made the following statement: "I am very sad. He was my sweet-hearted baby brother. The talker of the family. I have had beautiful alone time with him these last days. He went out laughing."

[reflectionsofacreator]

So like. I kinda sat down to write about this one, and I feel like I don’t know what to write about. There’s a lot to write about, but like... [scrubs face] it’s like, there’s a lot of emotional (sledge)hammers with this one, and it’s hard to pick apart so I can actually talk about it. Paralyzed by there being so much, you know? 

God writing this one was like pulling teeth, tbh. 

Buckle up lads, this one clocks in at over 2k. Mobile users I’m so sorry. 

I think the first thing I’m gonna tackle is the name of this one. It’s called The Truth, but in the context of Clay, that previously had an incredibly specific meaning. “The Truth” wasn’t so much a phrase as it was referring to the real truth of the Precursors and the nature of Eve and Adam, and the truth of humanity as a whole. Historically, every mention of “The Truth” around Clay refers to that specific idea, and now we have a new thing that uses the same name. It’s kind of interesting too, because the Truth that Clay shared was very explicitly something he was giving to other people, after learning about it for himself. And in this case, this is Truth that he’s being given, either about his situation, or the situation of his successor. 

This memory opens up with a doctor and Warren Vidic talking, after the episode that Clay had with the Bleeding Effect, and the doctor makes mention of Clay having been here a year already. He administers a medicine that’s actually an anti-psychotic, as a way of trying to stabilize Clay’s deteriorating mental state. There’s no guarantee that it’ll actually work, is the issue, mostly because the Bleeding Effect isn’t exactly a well known mental condition, and what everyone knows about it is simply what they’ve found out via the Subjects. Which is a very small group of people. I do wonder, though, about the Bleeding Effect as a .. hmm, genetic thing? It’s seeing the memories of your ancestors superimposed over your own perception of the world, and it’s implied that it’s because of the Precursor DNA that you can even have that happen, because it’s linked to Eagle Vision. Or at least, that’s what I’ve gotten so far, I could be completely wrong. 

The conversation with the doctor gets shooed away in favor of a conversation between Clay and his father, and like. I really wonder at the timing of it, if it’s supposed to be a conversation that Clay had while he was in Abstergo. It’s possible that it was a conversation that happened before Clay got sent in, but he sounds too resigned and weary I feel like, to have it happen outside of his imprisonment. Another reason why I feel like it’s after is because the last conversation we heard with Clay and his father was during the Bleeding Effect, when Clay was telling him about the Assassins, and things dissolved into a fight when Harold made it about money. This conversation feels like it’s a while after that, after Clay’s resigned himself to not being able to really convince his father of anything. 

Before Clay dives into the mainframe, there’s another glitch, which causes your controller to rumble. The screen goes noisy, and what shows is an exit at the end of a long walkway. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen glitches or hallucinations, but it’s freaky literally every time. 

We watch as Clay starts to hack through Abstergo’s systems after that, and the actual design of “going into” the mainframe is covered in a dozen different firewalls. It’s a neat sort of visual way to show just how hard Clay’s hacking is, as well as how many firewalls there are, because if he gets caught, he can get killed. 

Right before he goes in, on the right side of the “mainframe” is a code cipher. 

This is a Caesar cipher with an alphabetical shift of 3, and it reads  "Lucy, she Is aLways behind You." The capital letters spell out LILY -- traditionally lilies were associated with death. Now, you could interpret this as “Lucy’s got his back, she’s his teammate.” Which like, maybe. But with the addition of the word lily, and knowing that Lucy betrays him... nah. It’s more like she’s a threatening presence that needs to be watched. 

Clay snoops through Vidic’s mainframe and learns that Vidic is specifically after Desmond. Now, we know that this is at least over a year of Clay’s being here, and that Desmond was captured September 1st. What I’m really saying is just how long did Abstergo know about Desmond, and what lengths did they go to research him before they took him? Another question I have is like -- I know ac1 said that Abstergo found him via his fingerprints for his motorcycle license, but just how would that give them access to his genetic profile. Granted, that’s probably some early installment weirdness of ac1, but. (That being said, I remember reading a fic where they made mention of Desmond donating plasma for cash, and that’s how Abstergo found him, which is more believable than fingerprints....) 

I also can’t help but wonder like -- what’s going through Clay’s mind as he realizes that the Desmond Miles that Juno spoke of during his Bleed is the next Subject, and his successor? Or is it that he was completely unsurprised because Juno gave him a look into the possible future with the Calculations? 

Anyways, Clay finds out what Vidic wants, and excitedly says that they can leave, and we follow the path to see what looks like a broken stone circle at the base of two beams of light. 

(The wireframe is just the gameplay mechanic) I have... no earthly idea what this is, or what it could possibly mean. I think this is the only broken structure you see in all the memories, Desmond or Clay’s. It’s vaguely reminiscent of a broken film wheel, but I’m not sure if that’s what it’s supposed to be. But like, it’s so goddamn conspicuous because it’s the only broken structure we find. ls it supposed to symbolize a broken trust, a loss of faith after witnessing the “play” unfold?? .

Speaking of the “play”-- what the fuck. What the actual fuck. Is it supposed to make me uncomfortable? Because by god it did that. The sharp departure from how the rest of the narrative has been told is jarring as fuck, especially because it’s so like, proper. I swear, all that’s missing is like, a slightly off-key oldtimey music track and you’ll have a full blown horror segment. Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but like -- finding the broken wheel when that’s already something weird, having the camera forcibly taken away from you so you can watch this performance. And like, just listening to Warren monologue at Lucy is disturbing as well, for reasons that are hard to articulate. 

It’s like -- Meta wise, I know why she’s not talking. Her voice actress, Kristen Bell, had left and didn’t renew her contract (as her contract was only for 3 games), thus not being able to voice Lucy for any further appearances. IIRC, this is actually why Lucy was written to die, instead of simply recasting her, and then they had to scramble to make the “She’s a Templar!” twist work. Jury’s still out if it did or not, but like -- I do appreciate them trying to explain why she defected during her undercover years, but like... Ugh. It still leaves such a sour taste in my mouth, because it’s obviously a writing scramble and not a cohesive narrative that was plotted from the beginning. 

For a comparison, Clay’s story and ultimate fate feels complete, it feels alright. Yeah, it’s arguably a worse fate than Lucy, he died twice over, but like. We knew he was dead from the first moment we saw him, we knew that there was only one way that this could really go, a tragedy. There was a clear progression of his story, and the fact that you know how it ends. That being said, I do wonder about Clay’s death as a Subject in ac2, before the plotbeats of Lucy being a Templar were set in stone for Brotherhood. I know that the 20 glyphs in ac2 did talk about how Lucy was there when Clay killed himself, but I kinda doubt that it was in the same context of “she was supposed to save him but deliberately betrayed him due to her loyalties”. I guess what I’m getting at is that Lucy’s story feels terrible due to the writing surrounding it, while Clay’s feels deliberately terrible because that was the point. 

Back to my original point of “Lucy not talking”-- while there is a meta reason for it, I kinda want to ascribe a narrative reason, despite the meta outweighing the narrative. 

Lucy is characterized by almost never showing the full extent of her feelings or motivations, leaving you to wonder what’s actually going on in her head constantly. Sure, she leaned on Desmond a lot, but there’s also an undercurrent of a power imbalance there, and we always got the sense that she kept more to herself than she revealed. By having Warren talk at her, we’re further kept from knowing just what she felt about all of this, and instead we’re given another glimpse of the strange relationship that Warren and Lucy had. 

Warren was her boss, but also her superior in the Templar order, and the man who saved her life from his own company. Back in ac1, Lucy recounts to Desmond how she was attacked in the middle of the night, going to be silenced by Abstergo so she couldn’t talk about the Animus, only for Warren to save her life by telling the men to stand down. The assailants were people that she interacted with every day, even ate lunch with. This is after she’d been with Abstergo for a while, and finally feeling like she was being taken seriously with her work (as well as her undergrad thesis/work) she was going to be killed to keep quiet. We don’t actually know why Warren saved her, but it’s my firm belief that that’s when Lucy changed alliances to the Templars.

However, I do wonder about the confrontation between Lucy and Warren at the end of ac2, during the credits. I know, I know, her being a Templar wasn’t really a thing in ac2 (I think), so therefore you have to take it all with a grain of salt, but like. The conversation here brings attention to it, where Warren tells her “Make sure you look very upset. You need to be convincing.” And I can’t help but wonder if Warren and Lucy ended up trading insults that hit way too close to home in order to further the deception... It wouldn’t be hard to pretend to be hurt if she actually was hurt by what he said, y’know? 

I think the last thing about Warren’s speech that really bugs me is like -- he tacks on the whole “Oh, yes. Once inside their hideout, perhaps you might ask the Assassins why they left you alone for so many years.” And like. That just gets under my skin in a lot of ways because like-- he’s got a point, the Assassin’s methods are Rather Horrible™ with how they completely cut her off for a deep cover mission at seventeen (no I will not ever be over that), but the way he says it just. He’s clearly manipulating her to entrench her further onto his own side, and I just. Ngh. I kinda wonder if the delivery of the line was intended for the audience rather than Lucy herself, because she already knows all this, and for him to bring it up feels like an insult to her intelligence. It feels kinda slimy in a way that I can’t really describe. Or maybe it’s just because I just do NOT like Vidic. 

There’s also the question of like, how did Clay see this -- this is all dramatized for the sake of us, the audience, but did he watch this via video feeds or something??? The thought of him watching Lucy and Warren talk about his successor is kinda jarring tbh. Also this throws a wrench into the ending of ac1 (though tbh what DOESN’T throw a wrench into ac1) where they were going to dispose of Desmond only for Lucy to intervene. Is it because Warren and Lucy were operating on their own project that wasn’t exactly approved by the Templar higher ups?? Or something?? 

This whole memory says that Desmond was their goldmine for the amount of genetic information he held, so why would the higher ups -- wait. Unless the whole thing was a ploy by having Lucy speak up in “defense” of Desmond in order to get him to trust her some more.... Hrm.... Granted that fits, it’s just a sort of way of re-contextualizing the ending of ac1... 

Waves hand anyways Clay finds out about this plan for Lucy to gain Desmond’s trust and give them the data, and then we finally have control again. There’s this sort of distorted error noise, and the red blocks start to fill up the room, threatening you as they force you closer and closer to the screen, which only shows a picture of a door with a strange symbol on top of it. 

This is the symbol for 3 Juno, an asteroid in our solar system that’s the 11th largest, and contains 1% of total mass of the asteroid belt. It was discovered September 1st, 1804, by Karl Ludwig Harding, and initially considered to be a planet, along with a few other asteroid/dwarf planets at the time. It was given this symbol, ⚵, like how Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter all have their own symbols. 

Aside from the obvious “hey that’s Juno, she’s the big bad of this shit”, there’s a couple things that stood out to me. The date of discovery, September 1st -- that’s the same date that Desmond got captured by Abstergo, gives me pause. I’m not sure if it’s something that was intentional on the dev’s part, or if they were just looking for a symbol that would represent Juno. Either way, that’s enough of a coincidence that it makes me feel unsettled, the same way that Lucy was bothered by the date of the satellite launch being 72 days away. It might just be an honest coincidence, but considering that this is Clay we’re dealing with... nah. 

Another thing that the AC wiki told me is that this is also the symbol for the Instruments of the First Will, an in-universe religious organization that worships the Precursors, and specifically Juno. Now, this organization doesn’t actually appear until at least ac4 Black Flag, and continues on all the way through Syndicate. This is more like an early bird cameo than a full blown reference, as we still have to get through ac3, But it’s still interesting to point out and look at, and wonder what’s going on with it all. 

Anyways, the door itself is actually part of the screen, and impassible, and it stays that way as the bricks come closing in, chasing you. It’s really tense tbh, with this feeling of claustrophobia on top of the revelations you were forced to watch. It also doesn’t help that like. You had control wrenched away from you so you could watch the conversation, and the speech was long enough to lull you into maybe putting your controller down to watch, and then with a rumble you suddenly have control again and are being chased towards a door that doesn’t open. 

The picture of a door becomes an actual door after the blocks get closer and closer, and we break through into the light, and onto memory 7.

If you like what I do, or want to see any other sort of analysis, consider buying me a ko-fi!

[venactricisfics]

Malibu Desert

I should have showered at his place.

A Mayans Based Story.  Adult Content

Master List

Chapter Eleven

“I’m extremely disappointed in you, Nova, ” Warren’s voice booms in my head. “A dirty wetback? Really? I didn’t think you’d sink so low." 

"You know nothing about him, ” I wince at the coppery taste of blood in my mouth from my split lip. “About any of them. They have more fucking…” My words are silenced by a swift kick to my abdomen. 

“You don’t speak to me with your filthy whore mouth, ” he spat at me. 

I realized at that moment how weak Warren was. How weak he’d always been. The fear I had of him before wasn’t the same. I’d become different after my time in Santo Padre with the Mayans. Stronger. But not stupid. So I kept my mouth shut as my eyes focus on the dimly lit room. We’re no longer in my house. 

“Where have you taken me?” My voice soft and I keep my eyes low. 

“Don’t worry, we haven’t left your precious ‘spic town. Seems I had a 'spic friend of my own, ” he paces across the concrete floor. “Galindo is just as ruthless as I remember.” The name rings a bell. Popular family in Santo Padre and I’d heard it dropped in the clubhouse but never got the context. “He said I could leave you here as long as I wanted. No one would bother us.”

“What are you going to do to me?” I ask softly. 

“You’ve already defiled yourself with that wetback motherfucker, you’ll have to be cleansed before I take you back, ” he responds. I wince as scalding hot water is dumped over my head. My milky white skin bright red as I drop to the cold floor in pain. I cry out as icy cold water is sprayed in my face. “I’d kill you now but I don’t get to keep your daddy’s money if you’re dead. Pity that even beyond the grave that man has me by the balls." 

Tears combine with the streams of water that run down my face. This man had taken everything away from me. My family, my dignity, my freedom. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t let him take anything else.

The heavy door scrapes over the concrete floor as a tall Hispanic man. The shirt he wore and the way he carried himself let me know he wasn’t the help. The man that followed him with slicked-back black hair looked so familiar. I racked my brain for the connection. I breathe as I picture him with leather and chrome. I’d seen him in pictures with Bishop at the clubhouse. 

"El Padrino, ” I muttered just loud enough for him to hear me. He casts a gaze at me in response to the title that no one outside of the club called him. I scan him over noting that the man is most definitely carrying. 

“Shut up you stupid bitch, ” Warren shouts as his foot rears back. I watch it seemingly in slow motion as it moves toward me. I had two choices. I could let him keep me down. Or I could fight back. I don’t consciously make the decision. My hand makes the choice for me. My fingers curl tight around his ankle and I pull. So hard it knocks him off balance. Sending him crashing to the floor on his ass. 

Quickly I scrambled to my feet. Shivering from water and the adrenaline. I loom over Warren and stomp down on his forearm with every ounce of strength I had. He cried out at the audible sound of the bone-cracking. 

“You’ll regret that you cunt, ” he groans. I turn seeing El Padrino and another man in cornrows holding their guns on me. I raise my hands. 

“You are gonna have to shoot me, ” I stand firm probably looking and sounding like a crazy bitch. I would not let that man hurt me again. My wet clothes cling to my flesh like a second skin, leaving me totally exposed. I didn’t care. “Este hombre me quitó todo. No tomará nada más."  (this man took everything from me. He won’t take anything else) 

My Spanish was clear enough that he lowered his gun and spun it around to hand to me. My fingers encircled the grip as I take it in my hand. It didn’t feel as heavy as it looked. I lift the gun, my eyes narrow down the sight as I focus on just one target.

"Nova please, ” Warren begged. 

“'Fuck your begging, ” I snap back at him, “you’ll get what’s coming to you.’ I remember you saying those words to me every time I begged you not to hit me, not to… ” I swallow hard to keep my emotions under control, “rape me. You didn’t listen then, ” my finger squeezes the trigger gently and a single shot rings out, “Fuck you if I’m listening to you now." 

The bullet pierces his skull and I let out a cry of release. Everything I’d held back, all the pain I’d endured all were expelled at that moment. 

Warren is dead. 

"Vamos, cariño, ” the man with the slicked-back hair says as he drapes the jacket of his thousand-dollar suit over my shoulders. I nod not giving the hollow corpse of the man who was my husband another glance. 

“My name is Nova, ” I tell him. 

“Marcus, ” he replies. 

“Bishop told me so much about you, ” I follow him out of the warehouse. 

“Nova?” The well dressed Hispanic man says from behind me, “O'Shay?”

“Yes?” I turn to face him. 

“Miguel Galindo, ” he responds extending his hand for me to shake, “we have a lot to discuss. It seems you have inherited your father’s many businesses.”

I look him over, giving his hand a shake, “I knew not to ask questions about my the truth of father’s businesses.” I now had control over it all that Warren was dead. “I look forward to discussing it with you soon, Mr. Galindo.”  I shield my eyes from the sun and tilt my head as I hear the angelic sounds of approaching motorcycles. Never had I heard a more beautiful sound. 

“What happened, querida?” Bishop cups my face in his hands. His thumb brushing lightly over my split lip then my swollen cheek.

“It was Warren,” I reply, my eyes pool with unshed tears when I meet his. “He’s dead.” Bishop looks to Marcus.

“It was her, primo,” he answers, “all her.” 

“How did you find me?” I search Bishop’s face for an answer. 

“Your phone, he didn’t toss it. Had Coco track it using the GPS,” he answered, “This,” he motions to the warehouse, "dress factory is ours.”

“And you lease from Mr. Galindo?” I quirk a brow as everything starts to sink in. 

“Something like that,” he responded. 

“Ms. O’Shay,” Galindo states as he slides in the back of his Rolls-Royce, “we’ll have to schedule a meeting very soon.” I give him a nod as he and his entourage drive off. 

“I’ll fill you in on that soon,” lock my gaze back with Bishop’s, “I want to get out of here.” He nods leading me to the van. I settle in the passenger’s seat and give Creeper a soft smile.

“Take her to my place,” Bishop tells him then looks over at me, “I’ll be right behind you.” 

 My entire world had changed in a matter of minutes. It’s slowly sinking in.  I didn’t have to be afraid anymore. 

I glance over at Creeper, “Can we pull into my place real quick? I need to get a few things there.” He nods and pulls the van into my driveway. My door was standing wide open. My jaw drops when I step through. It was trashed. My couch was overturned.  My glass coffee table was shattered into a million pieces.  Every step I took into my home was worse than the last.  I move into my room and wrinkle my nose. It reeked of piss and shit. 

“I wanted to get your placed cleaned up before you saw it,” Bishop says from behind me. 

“I was out of my body wash at your place,” I stare at the mess, “that’s why I came here this morning.” 

“Gilly found your note,” his arms circle my waist pulling me tight to him. “Found your place like this when he got here.” 

“I should have stayed,” my eyes closed as the tears roll down my cheeks, “waited for Gilly.” 

“Shit could’ve gone down the same,” he turns me to face him, “or could’ve been a hell of a lot worse. We wouldn’t have known to reach out to Alverez. We can play what if all night, querida, but it won’t change it. Come home with me.” I just nod and follow him out the door. 

“I guess I’m fine with smelling like an Irish Breeze,” I lean my head against his shoulder.

[richincolor]

New Releases

There are six new releases this week that caught our attention. Let us know if we missed any titles. Have a great week!

If Only You Knew by Prerna Pickett Swoon Reads

A boy recently released from jail and the daughter of a prosecutor fall for each other against the odds in this YA novel.

Corey has just been released from jail, and all he wants is a new beginning. But when his former gang comes knocking, Corey agrees to vandalize the home of Kent Hopper, the prosecutor who put him away.

To erase the guilt she carries from getting away with a crime, Tessa spends most of her nights riding her motorcycle. When she catches Corey destroying her father’s car, she doesn’t see a criminal: She sees a way to finally right her own wrongs. So instead of turning Corey over to the police, she convinces her father to give Corey a second chance.

As Tessa and Corey spend more time with each other, it becomes difficult to ignore the pull between them. But they’re both keeping secrets, and when those secrets come to light, they’ll each have to face their demons in order to have a future together. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

This Train is Being Held by Ismée Amiel Williams Amulet Books

When private school student Isabelle Warren first meets Dominican-American Alex Rosario on the downtown 1 train, she remembers his green eyes and his gentlemanly behavior. He remembers her untroubled happiness, something he feels all rich kids must possess. That, and her long dancer legs. Over the course of multiple subway encounters spanning the next three years, Isabelle learns of Alex’s struggle with his father, who is hell-bent on Alex being a contender for the major leagues, despite Alex’s desire to go to college and become a poet. Alex learns about Isabelle’s unstable mother, a woman with a prejudice against Latino men. But fate—and the 1 train—throw them together when Isabelle needs Alex most. Heartfelt and evocative, this romantic drama will appeal to readers of Jenny Han and Sarah Dessen. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Turtle Under Ice by Juleah del Rosario Simon Pulse

A teen navigates questions of grief, identity, and guilt in the wake of her sister’s mysterious disappearance in this breathtaking novel-in-verse from the author of 500 Words or Less—perfect for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo.

Rowena feels like her family is a frayed string of lights that someone needs to fix with electrical tape. After her mother died a few years ago, she and her sister, Ariana, drifted into their own corners of the world, each figuring out in their own separate ways how to exist in a world in which their mother is no longer alive.

But then Ariana disappears under the cover of night in the middle of a snowstorm, leaving no trace or tracks. When Row wakes up to a world of snow and her sister’s empty bedroom, she is left to piece together the mystery behind where Ariana went and why, realizing along the way that she might be part of the reason Ariana is gone.

Haunting and evocative—and told in dual perspectives—Turtle Under Ice examines two sisters frozen by grief as they search for a way to unthaw. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

True Believers by Rabiah York Lumbard Crown Books for Young Readers

Salma Bakkioui has always loved living in her suburban cul-de-sac, with her best friend Mariam next door, and her boyfriend Amir nearby. Then things start to change. Friends start to distance themselves. Mariam’s family moves when her father’s patients no longer want a Muslim chiropractor. Even trusted teachers look the other way when hostile students threaten Salma at school.

After a terrorist bombing nearby, Islamaphobia tightens its grip around Salma and her family. Shockingly, she and Amir find themselves with few allies as they come under suspicion for the bombing. As Salma starts to investigate who is framing them, she uncovers a deadly secret conspiracy with suspicious ties to her new neighbors–but no one believes her. Salma must use her coding talent, wits, and faith to expose the truth and protect the only home she’s ever known–before it’s too late. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

b, Book, and Me by Kim Sagwa, translated by Sunhee Jeong Two Lines Press

Best friends b and Rang are all each other have. Their parents are absent, their teachers avert their eyes when they walk by. Everyone else in town acts like they live in Seoul even though it’s painfully obvious they don’t. When Rang begins to be bullied horribly by the boys in baseball hats, b fends them off. But one day Rang unintentionally tells the whole class about b’s dying sister and how her family is poor, and each of them finds herself desperately alone. The only place they can reclaim themselves, and perhaps each other, is beyond the part of town where lunatics live―the End.

In a piercing, heartbreaking, and astonishingly honest voice, Kim Sagwa’s b, Book, and Me walks the precipice between youth and adulthood, reminding us how perilous the edge can be. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

The New David Espinoza by Fred Aceves HarperTeen

This own voices story from the acclaimed author of The Closest I’ve Come unflinchingly examines steroid abuse and male body dysmorphia. Perfect for fans of Jason Reynolds and Matt De La Peña.

David Espinoza is tired of being messed with. When a video of him getting knocked down by a bully’s slap goes viral at the end of junior year, David vows to use the summer to bulk up— do what it takes to become a man—and wow everyone when school starts again the fall.

Soon David is spending all his time and money at Iron Life, a nearby gym that’s full of bodybuilders. Frustrated with his slow progress, his life eventually becomes all about his muscle gains. As it says on the Iron Life wall, What does not kill me makes me stronger.

As David falls into the dark side of the bodybuilding world, pursuing his ideal body at all costs, he’ll have to grapple with the fact that it could actually cost him everything.

[timeagainreviews]

Twin Peaks s01e01 “Traces to Nowhere”

Happy New Year, and welcome back to Twin Peaks, friends. Before we dive further into the mystery of Laura Palmer, I would like to tell you about my friend Jason. Jason was a pal of mine in high school. We used to hang out, listen to music, watch TV, and smoke. He lived with his girlfriend at the time who was also my friend. This may sound sappy, but around these two, I genuinely felt like the best version of myself. I miss those days incredibly. Jason also happened to be the first person to ever introduce me to Twin Peaks. One night, he and a friend were watching the movie as I came over to buy a bag. On that day, I discovered what was to become my newest obsession, one of which would stick with me for the next eighteen years of my life. Sadly, Jason and I fell out of contact and we lost track of one another.

I mention this because I recently heard through a mutual friend that Jason died two years ago. I'll not go into the details, suffice it to say, it was too soon. I always wanted to track him down to say hello, and now I'll never get the chance. While my friendship with Jason was immensely rewarding, one of the most persistent things he left me with was a love for Twin Peaks. Much of my personal philosophy comes from Twin Peaks, and it continues to inform the person I am today. If it weren't for Jason, I wouldn't be me. Therefore, I would like to dedicate this article in his memory. To Jason Walton- My friend in the stars.

Thank you for allowing me that moment, friend. Now if you remember, we left off on kind of a spooky note. Through some sort of line of sight, Sarah Palmer was given a vision of a gloved hand retrieving James' half of the heart necklace from where he and Donna had buried it. Dale Cooper, after a long day of detection, has turned in for a night of sleep at the Great Northern hotel, which is exactly where today's episode begins.

I've read in the past that you can tell right away when David Lynch is directing, or in this case, when he isn't directing. This is not a complaint about director Duwayne Dunham's work, but there is a clear departure from the slow wave of emotions that permeates the pilot episode. However, the more straightforward procedural pacing works much to the episode's credit. Being written by David Lynch and Mark Frost, this episode is drenched in Twin Peaks tones and textures. I'd go as far as to say Dunham does a damn fine job following the hard act that is David Lynch.

We start with a pan across Cooper's hotel room. As I've done with my Doctor Who reviews, I found myself trying to see this scene as though it were my first time. You watch Twin Peaks for eighteen years, and you tend to forget just how strange the decor at the Great Northern truly is. Off-camera we can hear Agent Cooper talking to Diane through his recorder. As the camera searches across taxidermied deer hooves holding hunting riffles, and ornate nature paintings, we fall upon Cooper, hanging upside down by a pair of metal hooks around his ankles. It's never explained why he's doing this, but for some reason the late '80s and early '90s had a weird thing about hanging guys upside down as so form of exercise. Michael Keaton did it in Batman, Patrick Bateman had one, and even Dale Cooper. Perhaps it was quick way to indicate both athleticism and eccentricity.

Cooper, hanging about in his hot dad garters and boxers dismounts from his perch with an ease that is both impressive and sexy. Before ending his recording session with Diane, Cooper waxes philosophical about Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys. In a way, this is Lynch and Frost drawing parallels between the deaths of both Monroe and Laura- two blonde women surrounded by powerful men and mystery. It's fitting when you consider that Lynch and Frost's first collaboration was in the form of a Marilyn Monroe biopic which never came into fruition. In many ways, the project laid some of the groundwork for what would become Twin Peaks.

Starting his day right with a balanced hotel breakfast, we're treated to yet another fascinating glimpse into Cooper's diet. As Sheriff Truman says later in the episode, he must have the metabolism of a bumblebee. Cooper orders a breakfast he refers to as "hard on the arteries," which is as hard as he wants his eggs. He wants his bacon super crispy- cremated. It may sound as though I'm exaggerating, but I've always loved watching Cooper order breakfast. He seems to revere food in a way not regularly seen on dramatic television. The morning coffee is more than one of the best, it's "damn fine." People have complained that the way people talk about food in Twin Peaks is weird. Sure, maybe in life creamed corn isn't an allegory to pain and suffering, but we've all been there when someone is having a similar reaction to the stuff. Food is personal, and it's a part of everyone's lives, why wouldn't characters talk about it?

Arriving at the tail end of Cooper's order is Audrey Horne, who has seemingly grown a good six or seven inches of hair overnight. Out of all of the mysteries in Twin Peaks, this was the least perplexing. Somewhere between filming the pilot and the first episode, Sherilyn Fenn grew her hair out, and it looks stunning. Everything about Audrey is stunning. Her eyebrows are stunning. That sweater is stunning. But at the moment, it is she who is stunned by Agent Cooper. Just as charmed by his eccentricities and his slicked black hair, she approaches Agent Cooper and asks to join him. Immediately Cooper sizes up that she finds him attractive, she's not exactly hiding it, and neither is he for that matter. For many fans, this is the moment the ship of Cooper and Audrey set sail. I personally always prefer the version where Cooper does the adult thing and doesn't date a high schooler.

After questioning Audrey, Cooper heads off to the Sheriff Station where they seem to still be having their breakfast as everyone he encounters has a mouthful of donuts. I'd also like to note the weird guy with a welding torch and ladder near the entrance. Twin Peaks is a lived in world filled with these people toiling away. Sheriff Harry Truman, mouth full of donuts, can't get a word in as Cooper flies into the room. After spelling out the itinerary, Cooper disappears to "urinate." This marks the first of many references to Dale Cooper's pee. Much like Tom Hanks, our favourite FBI agent is passionate about pissing. It's one of those life things, like food, that Twin Peaks likes to celebrate. Sometimes it's really nice to have a good piss, therefore sometimes Twin Peaks is about having a really good piss. I'm being completely earnest here.

Dr Hayward arrives to the sheriff station to report the findings of the post mortem. Unable to carry out the procedure himself, he outsourced the job to a nearby colleague. I've always admired the way Warren Frost plays this scene. His sadness seems to come and go in waves of realisation. There are the same echos from the pilot episode present here. From the report we learn that Laura died from a loss of blood from numerous shallow wounds. She had bite marks on her shoulders and marks on her arms from having been bound. She had also had sex with at least three men the night of her murder. The doctor also concludes that there is no doubt that Ronette was also present. As Dr Hayward relays this grizzly tale, his eyes wander to the photo of Laura. Pangs of sadness wash over his face as he questions who could do such a thing. He was the doctor present at her birth. She was his daughter's best friend. Laura was family to him.

On the other spectrum of family, we join the Johnsons at their incomplete home. Unable to just ask Shelly if she would do his laundry, Leo has to play mind games. He asks her if she did his laundry and chastises her as if catching her in a lie because his bag of nasty truck cabin clothes are still dirty. Eric Da Re is not a great actor, but there's something perfect about that. Leo is a big asshole that gaslights his wife, I don't expect much depth there. The only good thing I say about him is they got rid of his awful perm from the pilot. Even the way he pinches her cheek is controlling and unnatural. There's clearly no love between them, which is why when she discovers a blood-stained shirt in Leo's laundry she hides it. With Laura recently dead, and his behaviour as of late, this could be evidence. When he comes back later in a frenzy to find said shirt, he flies into a rage at its absence.

We're back at the Sheriff Station where we learn James Hurley owned the other half of Laura's necklace. As compared to Bobby's interrogation, James is Mr Manners. He answers all of Agent Cooper's questions with a quiet intensity. He admits to shooting the picnic video, and to owning the other half of the necklace, but not knowing who dug it up. He was also aware Laura was taking drugs but tried to get her to stop. On the night she died, James picked Laura up on his motorcycle. Acting strangely Laura disembarked from his bike, a disagreement ensued, Laura told James she loved him and disappeared into the woods. Cooper seems pleased with this information. We're then shown slow-motion picnic footage of Laura smiling at the camera. A somewhat cheesy "Help me," is played over the sound of wind and haunting music. It's a sort of fourth-wall-breaking that makes Twin Peaks feel as though not only the town, but the show itself is haunted by the late Laura Palmer.

Bobby and Mike, freshly arrested from their fistfight with Ed argue in their holding cells about the money they owe Leo Johnson. After being briefly questioned by Agent Cooper, they're both sent away with a warning not to harm James. James is also released into the custody of Big Ed, who confides that he believes the bartender, Jacques Renault,  slipped a Mickey in his drink. Ed wasn't just meeting Norma that night, he was also staking out Jacques' activities as a suspected drug dealer.

Speaking of Norma, we're given a brief but intense encounter at the general store between her and Nadine. At this point in the show, Nadine is completely bonkers. While I don't feel like she becomes any less touched in the head, we do begin to see more depth to her than just Ed's crazy wife. Wendie Robie is so good as Nadine, that Peggy Lipton only really need to react in kind as Nadine goes on about her drape runners. You can tell there's a quiet rivalry between the two women, both of whom resent one another for what they represent to one another. Norma is the woman Ed loves, and Nadine is the woman that stole him from Norma. When Nadine emphatically mentions the cotton balls that will make her drape runners completely silent, Norma can only stand as if in disbelief. It's the epitome of "weird flex, but ok." It doesn't help that all of this cotton ball talk is nestled into a conversation about Ed being in intensive care. Nadine exits as soon as she entered, leaving poor Norma looking confused and slightly violated.

Speaking of forbidden love, we're given a great scene between Donna Hayward and her mother, Eileen. We learn that despite her grief for Laura, and the guilt it makes her feel, Donna is finding herself loving James. Despite the nightmare that surrounds her, this love for James is like a beautiful dream. Eileen encourages her to invite James over for dinner, which she does. When watching James meet the Haywards I couldn't help but think of Eraserhead. In both, we get two entirely different, albeit very Lynchian "meet the parents," scenes. While James isn't asked to carve any manmade chickens, the awkward politeness permeates both scenes. There’s a sort of wholesomeness that borders on absurdity. Watching James make small talk in his big boy sweater is about the cutest damn thing that you almost forget how violent and terrifying Twin Peaks can be at times. This is something lifted straight out of the Waltons with it's cheesy Americana and good-natured sincerity. Of course, not everyone is as pleased about this new pairing as Mike and Bobby spot James' bike outside Donna's house.

Meanwhile, Dale and Harry find their way at the Martel residence to speak with Josie about her language classes with Laura. Through body language alone, Cooper deduces that the Sheriff and Josie are an item of sorts, as indicated at the end of the pilot episode. Pete is his usual charming self, offering up a cup of Joe to our boys. We're given another Cooperism as he asks for his coffee "black as midnight on a moonless night." That's pure poetry. We don't learn much from Josie here, other than the fact that Laura used to tutor her English and that she seemed distracted the last time they met. The biggest takeaway from the scene is that somehow Pete accidentally brewed a pot of coffee with a fish in the percolator. This is easily one of the most iconic scenes from the original series. Jack Nance was a treasure, and I will never not feel absolute delight when he comes rushing in just a touch too late- they've already tried the coffee.

Josie is called away for a phone call from the ice queen Catherine who informs her that shutting down the mill for the day cost the company more money than it was worth. After hanging up with Josie, we can see Catherine is in a strange motel, sipping champagne with Ben Horne. They're clearly working against Josie, but it's no secret that neither of them trust one another. Everyone is playing the double secret con, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. However, we do learn that the two are on again off again lovers. On the other side of town, Deputy Hawk follows up with Ronette's parents at the hospital. The Pulaskis don't have much information other than the fact that Ronette used to work the perfume counter at Horne's Department Store. As he is leaving, Hawk sees a suspicious one armed man skulking around the morgue. Following his gut instinct he starts tailing this mysterious figure through the dark halls of the hospital. Upon entering a room alight in a trippy dayglo black light, Hawk finds himself alone. Whoever this mystery man was, he disappeared into thin air.

A lot of this episode's theme seems to centre around the relationship between the parents and the high schoolers. Along with her conversation with her own mother, we get a scene between Donna and Sarah Palmer. Sarah, still sick with grief, seems genuinely pleased to see Donna until she sees Laura's face superimposed over Donna's. As she's pulling her closer she gets another vision, this time of a creepy grey-haired man sitting at the edge of Laura's bed. Sarah goes into full-on panic mode in a way only Grace Zabriskie is capable of delivering. Leland rushes in to whisk Donna away from the traumatic experience. In his own home, Bobby is getting a stern lecture from his father, Major Garland Briggs. The Major awkwardly tries to treat Bobby with some tough love, but ultimately misses the mark. Bobby's problems are bigger than anything his poor parents could fathom. The Hornes also experience a bit of domestic turmoil with Ben confronts Audrey about how her conversation with the Norwegians cost their family greatly. But unlike the Briggses, if Ben wanted to understand Audrey's rebellious nature, he only need look in the mirror.

Let's take a moment now to consider Laura Palmer. She was a troubled teenage girl with a drug habit, yes. Add to that being homecoming queen, in Spanish club, tutoring immigrants, caring for Audrey's special needs brother, and even heading Meals on Wheels for the elderly and shut-ins. It's the Meals on Wheels program that brings Cooper and Truman to the Double R Diner, where Laura used to work. We learn that Laura didn't just head the program, she created it. If any fictional characters were gunning for sainthood, Laura would be high on the list. It's easy to see why losing her has wounded the town so completely. The Log Lady approaches Cooper about Laura Palmer informing him that her log saw something the night Laura died. However, Cooper's reluctance to ask the log directly leads to her leaving before relaying the log's message.

Fresh off her shift from the Double R, Shelly returns home to Leo who has just put a bar of soap into a sock. He questions her about the bloody shirt, but she feigns ignorance. He tells her he's going to "teach," her about respecting people's property as he advances toward her with the sock swinging over his head. We can only look on hopelessly as the brutish Leo approaches a cowering Shelly. The scene graciously cuts away, as we know what comes next. The episode concludes in Dr Jacoby's bizarre Hawaii themed office (or maybe apartment, maybe both). Inside a fishtank sits three dried out puffer fish filled with blinking lights like paper lamps. After putting a tape into his stereo he dons a pair of giant headphones revealing a taped conversation from his former secret patient- Laura Palmer. He pulls coconut from a palm tree and settles in to listen to his tape. He opens up the coconut to reveal the other half of Laura's necklace. It appears that Dr Jacoby was the one following James and Donna into the woods.

The contents of the recording are revealing, not just about Laura, but also about Dr Jacoby. Laura's flirtatious nature indicates that we can add one more sexual partner to Laura's list. She mentions how James is sweet but too dumb to talk to her about her problems like Jacoby is capable of doing. But part of the brilliance in the scene is that you can also sense that Laura is acting for Dr Jacoby. Fulfilling the role of a young helpless girl who loves him, so that he may fulfil some role she needs. Whether it be a form of protection or just a soundboard for her problems, she had him wrapped around her finger. So what is this ritual of Jacoby's? Are these the actions of a killer reminiscing over the trophies of his hunt, or a man grieving the real, if not inappropriate relationship he had with a young girl? As the tape continues, we hear Laura talking about a man in a red car who can really light her "F-I-R-E." She continues to make a confession about a mystery man, but the audio drops out, leaving us only the doctor's perplexed face to clue us into what she said. The credits roll as we're left wondering.

Truth be told, I could have written this review without having to rewatch the episode. I try and rewatch Twin Peaks in its entirety at least once every one or two years. However, I am glad I did revisit this one as there are lots of little pieces of minutiae I may have overlooked. More than anything, I was curious to weigh Dunham's directing against David Lynch's, and I have to say, it's not bad. The tone is correct for the series and the emotions are played for real. It's always going to be different because the two directors are different people. But as certain episodes in season two prove, some directors begin to parody Lynch's style, adding weird for the sake of weird. But this early on, it is as though Twin Peaks is a juggernaut of unstoppable creativity. Even the duller storylines take on the energy of the greater mystery. Lynch only directed a handful of the original series episodes, which is why the next episode I'm reviewing is an especially exciting one. Not only is episode two (aka the third episode) directed by David Lynch, but it also begins to introduce some of the more metaphysical elements of the series. You could almost say that Lynch directs the most important episodes, and my god is this next one a doozy.

Well, friends, that's all from the world of Twin Peaks for now. I'll have the next review up soonish, but not before the new Doctor Who review. Speaking of which, it is now less than an hour until it airs! Who else is excited? What a great way to ring in the new year! See you all soon!

[sparkliingdust]

I have a hard time believing Steve had a lot of attachment or sentimental value towards new technology. Especially projections ideas that he was always lamenting about ~*all the things he missed*~ when he went back to the 1940s. Throughout the series, he’s embraced the evolution of technology but doesn’t immerse himself into it - two totally different things.

this was inspired by @shadow-warren-whump​‘s post

In The Avengers, he’s dealing with his past - boxing at all hours of the night, riding on trains, sitting in his apartment by himself, and sketching around the city. He’s not necessarily diving back into the life he missed out on except experiencing better food and the essentials like heating/cooling.etc, probably the ability to go to the sauna after a workout or run a decent bubble bath. He is pretty impressed with SHIELD’S quinjet and loses a bet to Nick Fury about being surprised, but he’s not chomping at the bit to learn how it all works. There’s a battle to be fought.

In The Winter Soldier, his Washington D.C. apartment is spare but mostly had remnants to the past - posters of the U.S. Army, the books on the shelves were mostly about politics/WWII, and he was listening to records hooked up to speakers. He said he was using the internet to catch up, but he was also taking notes in a mini-notebook, not an iphone or smartphone. (As a writer who takes notes all the time with a small pad and pen, it’s not especially convenient as my phone is as I carry a purse around - but it’s something I use because I prefer it. To think Steve probably has that little notebook next to his wallet when he goes out the door every morning is entertaining.) The only note he checked off was Star Wars, so we can assume he watched it unless some Trekkie convinced him not to. The fact that he gets another apartment out of New York City, surrounded by symbols that represent his own personal values shows he wants reminders of what he’s fighting for - his country, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, a fair and right government.

In Age of Ultron, he invited veterans to the Avengers party, including Sam. There’s the nightmare of PTSD and wanting to go home to Peggy, and finally getting his dance. The Avengers Compound is in Upstate New York, which becomes his second home and maintains the military lifestyle he had at Camp Lehigh.

In Civil War and Infinity War, he’s so far off the radar of living a “normal life”, he’s not holding onto any technology that we - normal non-superhero-supersoldier-spies - use like Ubers, Netflix, and social media.

In Endgame, Nat can still contact Okoye/Rocket/Rhodey/Marvel around the universe, but that’s Avengers Compound technology - it was engineered by Tony and probably has its own generator. We don’t know what kind of internet/social media/streaming devices are available, considering half the universe was wiped out and some of those people were engineers and kept our stuff up and running. But Steve is consumed with riding around on his motorcycle, watching whales in the ocean, and leading support groups. I don’t think he’s looking up songs on Spotify to chill out to. They have electricity and food, the things they need.

I’m not saying Steve always held himself hostage in his apartment, but he did spend most of his life fighting or trying to retrieve parts of the past that he could still hold onto. He might’ve gone to the movies or dabbled online, especially around The Winter Soldier, but I don’t think he was all that connected to the 21st century except for the cool tech Tony implemented in the compound or was available via SHIELD.

I think fans saying *~what about Steve and all that technology*~ is not only an excuse to claim #notmysteve because they didn’t like his ending, but also a projection of fear about what we would do without technology if we lost it or went back to the 1940s. If all you know is how easy and comfortable life is now because you don’t remember a time without dial-up internet, streaming, social media, having food delivered to your house in subscription boxes, Amazon, Netflix, etc., it’ll be next to impossible to imagine living a life without those things and truly being comfortable.

[ifeveristoday]

Buffy Summers’s Diary (III)

[insert Dawn’s lament here]

My silly little thing has gotten a bit less sillier in this part. Carry on.

1 Lyft carpool with Anya

3 missing pens

1 maybe date

7 outfit options, all terrible

100 years of rain

 When I was little and it rained, my mom would bring me to the living room and watch the rain splash against our bay windows. Sometimes she would get out her box of cassettes and we’d listen to “It Never Rains in Southern California.” Of course, I would point out that the singer was wrong, because what was happening outside then?

She would just laugh, and shake her head. ‘Baby, it’s not that it doesn’t rain, it’s the feeling that LA is always sunny even when it rains.’

I didn’t understand back then.

Watching the sun stream into the street and shine on perfect rectangles of manicured lawns while I peeked through blinds – I understood a little better. LA carries on even when darkness surrounds you, is in you.

 Anyway, it rained today, a deluge even. Kendra arranged for Lyft carpools for the employees and I shared mine with Anya. She lives only twenty minutes away from my apartment, but she drives while I take the bus. I like Anya, but it’s impossible to make small talk with her. She doesn’t understand the concept and launches into whatever she’s thinking with no segues whatsoever. I need a mental crash helmet whenever I talk to her.

She asked me if I used her gift certificate – ‘It expires soon, Buffy. There’s a special sale going on this weekend, I really think you would find some helpful aids there.’

Before I can even respond, she’s off talking about the new vibrator line that’s come in, and the importance of using essential oils in the bedroom.

The backseat of a car never collapses into a black hole when you want it to.

She managed to ask a question about Xander among all the updates from the Magic Box and I guess my expression tipped her off. Her mouth thinned out and she crossed her arms across her chest.

‘What? I can’t ask about Xander?’

I’m just surprised that she wants to. Their romance was pretty volatile at the end.

‘No, you can. He’s fine – sent me a postcard from Cape Town. He seems happy.’

She slumped a little. ‘Oh. That’s nice.’

I’m going to regret this – like in five minutes, I’m sure of it – but I ask her anyway.

‘How are you doing?’

‘I’m fine. I’m the one who broke it off. I’m very happy, I’m busy, my jobs are going great, I found a decent hairstylist in this town – I’m fantastic,’ she babbled.

She straightened up again and looked out the window.

‘I’m happy that he’s happy,’ she said. ‘We’re almost there.’

The driver pulled up to our building five minutes later. He smirked at us as we got out.

 Anya works in a different part of the building than I do and our goodbyes were awkward as I got out of the elevator. ‘Remember the sale, Buffy,’ she said as the doors slid shut.

I’m just not in the mood for that kind of self-care.

 There is an office supply thief on this floor and they are stealing my purple pens. I had four and now I have one. This is ridiculous, we are all adults and surely we can use the office supply cabinet instead of just lifting pens from other people’s desks like thieves in the night.

Why would they even take my pens? Everyone in the office knows I use purple to revise my notes – I know everything is digital but there’s something comforting about the way a pen can glide over the paper. I like the weight of the pen against my palm and it seems more permanent than a blinking cursor on a screen.

  I moved a PR box and found my pens wedged underneath my monitor stand.

Good thing I didn’t write that email to HR complaining about pen theft and being known as the most uptight person on this floor.

I need a cup of coffee but I’m going to make tea instead.

William is lounging in the break room when I come in. He has a rapt audience, the temps and Harmony are there, hanging onto his every word.

I roll my eyes and head for the tea station. Just because a man has good bone structure, an accent, and a leather jacket doesn’t mean he’s the most interesting person in the room.

Okay, maybe in the top five.

 I sit at the lone unoccupied table and hear snatches of the conversation. William is doing research for his next novel. He reached out to several publications and my CEO accepted his request along with the offer of a guest column in the magazine. He’s going to be writing about his travels and whatever else interests him.

It sounds like a dream assignment but I remember my blog is important too. Kendra told me not to read the comments though.

 One by one the admirers flutter out of the break room as editors appear in the doorway, meaningfully clearing their throats. I’m still sipping my tea when William walks over to me and sits down.

 ‘So, Summers. I have a gift for you.’

‘Yeah?’ I say, playing it cool. I am a cool glacial woman of substance.

‘I do,’ he smiles and then reaches into his messenger bag. ‘Freshly autographed.’

He slides Saturday and The Chosen across the table to me. His fingers skim the covers carefully as if he’s touching something precious.

Saturday’s cover shows a picture of a black woman, her gaze defiant and steely. The Chosen has a more generic cover, its title picked out in shades of gold and bronze.

‘Thanks,’ I say as I turn The Chosen over and read the blurb on its dust jacket. ‘Oh. Fantasy’s never really been my thing.’

Except for the period Dawn and I would read Harry Potter to each other under the covers with a flashlight, but he doesn’t need to know that.

He lifts one eyebrow and I notice the thin white scar cutting it into two imperfect halves. ‘Try it, you never know. Or maybe Saturday is more your type.’

‘This the one with your lone female character?’ I lean back and gaze at him over my cup.

He laughs and rubs his chest. ‘Ouch. But fair – I’m going to be writing more female leads in my novels. Nikki won’t be the last.’

‘That’s her name?’ I nod at Saturday’s cover.

‘Yeah. Nikki Danger.’

I choke on my tea. ‘Her name is Nikki Danger? Are you writing the next Bond novel?’

His smile has a hint of teeth. ‘Says the girl named Buffy Summers.’

‘My mom gave me that name, and it’s after a famous singer, you Philistine.’

I heard Will use that once, during debate class in high school. It sounded cool then even though I didn’t know exactly what it meant.

‘I know. And love, I’m in the arts, not exactly a Philistine. Do you want to borrow a dictionary for next time?’

This asshole.

Then I realize what he said. ‘What do you mean next time?’

Full on smile, and is that dimple? ‘How about dinner after work – does tonight sound good?’

He stands up and leaves before I can complete my thought.

I open Saturday. He’s scrawled his phone number on the front page.

  So it’s not a date. It’s a friendly dinner. I’ve done that before. It’ll be like riding a bike.

I have an uncomfortable vision of William riding a motorcycle and I decide that I need some advice.

Willow’s answering machine picks up when I call, so I just tell her I’m looking forward to our weekend brunch.

Andrew screeches when I call him. Literally, I had to hold my phone away from my ears.

‘You’re going on a date with the Spike Pratt?’

‘It’s just dinner,’ I say, fumbling for my apartment keys. ‘I’m going to meet him at some bistro after work.’

‘Are you going home to change?’ Andrew demands.

‘Well, of course.’

‘Then it’s a date,’ Andrew says triumphantly. ‘If you didn’t care, you’d just wear your work clothes.’

‘My hair got wet this morning and it’s sort of frizzy,’ I say. ‘It’s not that big of a deal. And his name is William.’

‘Eh, Spike sounds sexier,’ Andrew says. ‘William sounds like an accountant.’

‘It’s a maybe date,’ I say. ‘I don’t know. I made fun of him this morning, maybe he’s just returning the favor.’

Andrew sighs.

‘Girl, how long has it been since you’ve been on a date?’

‘Not that long,’ I scan my desk to make sure I haven’t left anything important behind. ‘There was Owen and Parker…’ I trail off.

‘Ew, ew and ew,’ Andrew says dismissively. ‘A poet and a day trader? Buffy, Parker was gross, and Owen writes gay erotica on the internet. He hasn’t written a poem since leaving college.’

‘You’ve read some of it,’ I say. ‘And you’ve dated some highly questionable people yourself.’

‘Yes, both the poems and the erotica were terrible. And you can’t hold Warren over my head all the time.’

‘I’m sorry. That wasn’t cool of me. But he really was the worst.’

‘He really was,’ Andrew agrees. ‘Just go on the date. You never know until you try, right? You told me that once.’

‘Okay. Maybe it won’t be completely terrible.’

  It was completely terrible.

All of my clothes weren’t right. I have exactly three types of clothes – athleisure, work clothes, and clothes that are too big for me. I haven’t had the chance to donate them yet or buy clothes that fit properly.

It took me seven tries until I settled on something that wasn’t too much or too little for a casual dinner with a handsome man.

Okay, I admit it. He’s a good looking man.

 I called him on the way to the bistro. He didn’t answer until the third ring. He sounded strange as if he forgot that he asked me out to dinner in the first place.

‘I’m glad you called actually – I was about to call. I’m sorry, Buffy. Something came up and I can’t make it to dinner after all. Can I have a raincheck?’

‘What?’

‘You have every right to be angry at me, but I just can’t get out of this commitment. I’ll call you, love. All right?’

The dial tone rings in my ear.

 I ended up getting takeout from the bistro – it seemed stupid to go all the way there and not get dinner. The ride back to my apartment gave me time to sort out what exactly I was feeling.

It was a tornado of emotions. First, sheer relief. Then, a flush of anger prickling against my skin. Who does he think he is, I muttered to myself. Then seething resentment followed by an aching emptiness. He must have googled me.

 I don’t do that anymore. The last time I checked for myself was right when I got out of the clinic. All the headlines were some variations of ‘Fallen Olympian completes rehab’ or ‘Buffy Summers – where is she now?’

Even the Sunnydale Post had something about me and I only trained there for three summers. ‘Ex-Olympic Gold Medalist in Recovery for Eating Disorder.’

Simple and to the point – though skipping all the reasons why I got there. The byline was a familiar name – Freddie Iverson. He was one of the first people to interview me when I won my medal.

 ‘How does it feel being a champion?’

It feels wonderful. It feels like flying and your feet don’t touch the ground. It feels like nothing can hurt you.

 How does it feel to be washed up at nineteen?

Ten years later and I’m still trying to answer that question.

It starts raining as I clean up the rest of the takeout. I made myself eat every last bite.

 It never rains in California, but girl, don't they warn ya? It pours, man, it pours

 the lyrics are from “It Never Rains in Southern California” by Albert Hammond

and I’m working from the fancanon (in exalted circles) that Buffy is named after Buffy Sainte Marie who would have been very popular during Joyce’s time because you just know Joyce was a hippie.

previous entry | next entry 

[ajoblotofjunk]

Z Nation re-watch: 3x05 The One With the Wolf Men

That's quite a lot of water 10k finds himself in.

10k is being smart nature survival boy with the moss.

Lady: "She should have had more faith. She didn't deserve you." Murphy: "Don't say that. Everyone deserves me." Oh Murphy.

This is where I don't fully understand how the blends work. Because Murphy isn't controlling all of them at once, but they are unusually obsequious to him. And I suspect that's the blood at work, but then why were Merch and 10k so different?

Have Murphy's nails always been that pink? Or are these first signs (like the white in his beard) of his change happening?

See but then this guy thanks Murphy and tells him how he was going to just end it all until Murphy came along. So how much of the feelings toward Murphy just come from people suddenly freed from fear after years of it? Questions!

Murphy: "Dammit Merch, I'm a savior, not a doctor! What in God's n-" pauses. "What in MY name am I supposed to do now?" MURPHY.

This is an interesting song choice, when 10k is floating on the table down the river and thinking about 5k.

10k having some yummy grubs. Heh. And his wound does NOT look good.

Murphy cannot come to terms with the fact that Merch would choose death over having him control her. He is convinced there is some grander reason.

10k seems to be enjoying his time on his own, riding his motorcycle, killing zombies. Until he gets frigging clotheslined by these people that I honestly did not remember at all.

This is framed in a VERY SPECIFIC WAY that suggests (to me at least) Red as Mary holding Jesus' body.

It's appropriate that so far the person who has (mostly) talked in this episode is Murphy, and 10k has said almost nothing.

I like episodes where people get to be good at stuff. 10k just happens to be very good at killing zombies.

So Murphy's lieutenant (I have got to learn his name again) saves 10k and scares the zombies the away. He doesn't kill them, and they seem to listen to him.

Now that 10k is back under Murphy's control (via the lieutenant), he is talking again.

"You're important," the lieutenant tells him.

Murphy continues to shed his suit layers. (And looks mighty fine doing so. Ahem.)

He thinks she was trying to make herself more zombie proof. He just cannot fathom her not seeing his way for the future. Oh here he gets it. "You'd rather be dead then be more me." Aw, honey.

10k is on his own again, and silent once more.

10k: "You traded your freedom for safety. Do you remember what you were before he bit you?" Lieutenant: "Yeah. Afraid."

"Please! I don't want to be afraid any more" 10k begs, hoping the lieutenant guy will kill him. :(

Dang, look at all that fresh food. Where'd they get that from? It takes weeks to grow food like that (months for the apples).

10k injects himself with the vaccine.

Murphy knows 10k will go back to Warren, and Warren will bring holy hell down on him. So he's suiting up - literally, putting his suit back on. And he's ready to fight.

[redgoldsparks]

April Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

Elsewhere by Will Shetterly 

I read this book for the first time when I was in junior high, and it was my first sweet taste of Urban Fantasy. Elves on motorcycles, magic at dance clubs, werewolves staffing used bookstores- I was hooked. I read it again this month, out loud, all in one day during a road trip to LA with my sister. We were both amazed that it not only held up to our memories, but was perhaps ever better than we remembered. We caught more references (to bands, to other sci-fi and fantasy authors) than we had the before and the overarching theme of gentrification hit harder. Highly recommend.

Nevernever by Will Shetterly

This book starts a little more slowly than it's prequel, Elsewhere, but boy does it pack a punch in the end. It's got a twist I never saw coming and still makes me marvel over its strangeness and cleverness on my fifth reading of this book. These two together are some of the best urban fantasy out there.

Pansy by Andrea Gibson

It's very rare that I read a book of poetry front to back in essentially one sitting, but this is a really extraordinary volume. The author, Andrea Gibson, is currently on an international tour taking these words and others to a staggering number of stages. The poems are full of the mixed up process of pain and healing, of being strong and vulnerable at the right times, of questioning gender, of queer love and heartbreak. Published in 2015, they chronicle a rising awareness of racism and racial violence. The two line poem titled "Ferguson" reads simply "A sea of blood, America,/ and not even a shell held to your ear." Other poems range to four or five pages. Other poem titles include: "A Letter to White Queers, a Letter to Myself", "Things That Don't Suck", "An Insider's Guide on How to Be Sick", "A Genderful Pep-Talk For My Younger Self" and "Etiquette Leash". I can tell these will be poems I return to, and I look forward to reading more of Gibson's work.

Mr Warren’s Profession by Sebastian Nothwell

Aubrey Warren makes a meager living as a clerk at the Rook Mill in Manchester, England, in the 1890s. If he had his choice he'd be working instead as an engineer, but considering that he was born in a poor house he feels fortunate to have an honest job at all. Lindsey Althorp is the only son of a baronet, and becomes Warren's employer when he wins Rook Mill in a game of cards. The two men are immediately drawn to each other and their mutual attraction is quickly confirmed, followed by an even more tender sentiment- mutual affection. Both men are smart, compassionate, and good at communicating but society has presented innumerable barriers to a relationship such as theirs. Can their feelings survive their circumstances? Well researched and rich with classical and literary references, this love story is addictively readable and charming to the core. My copy of the book was gifted to me by a dear friend, @nobiliorpomis, which makes it even more precious. Highly recommended.

This One Summer by Mariko Tamaki and Jillian Tamaki

A beautifully written and illustrated story created by the cousins Mariko Tamaki and Jillian Tamaki. Set at the fictional Awago Beach in Ontario, Canada, the story centers on two girls whose families vacation every summer within a short bike ride from each other. Rose is a year and a half older, old enough to be unable to ignore the tensions running between her high-strung mother and more easy going father. Windy is still buoyant with the carefree high-level energy of childhood, unphased by the teenage drama that she and Rose accidentally witness (and then intentionally eavesdrop on) unfolding at the local convenience store. The overall tone is bittersweet and deeply evocative.

Valentine and Orson by Nancy Ekholm Burkert

The story of Valentine and Orson dates back to the mid-1400s if not before. The creator of this book fell in love with the tale and condensed it down into a 9 chapter poem in iambic pentameter, clarifying its central themes. Her gorgeous illustrations show a travelling family of actors performing the story on a small makeshift stage, in the era and style of Pieter Bruegel the Elder. The story starts when Bellisant, the sister of King Pepin of France marries Alexander, the Emperor of Greece and goes to live in his capital city of Constantinople. A terrible betrayal occurs, and the Emperor casts out the pregnant Bellisant believing that she has been unfaithful. With only one trusty servant, Blandyman, she tries to make her way back to her brother's court. She gives birth to twin boys all alone in the forest, and one of them is stolen by a bear. Chasing after her stolen son she leaves his twin behind. He is found and adopted by a squire of King Pepin. It takes twenty years, and many plot twists and turns, before the unlucky mother is once again reunited with her children. 

A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton

It's been a while since I read a mystery and this was a solid and enjoyable one. Kinsey Millhone is a practical and stoic PI based out of the fictional southern California town of Santa Teresa. A former cop, twice divorced and a loner by nature, she enjoys a modest career, a tiny apartment and the righting of small scale wrongs. At the start of this book (the first in a 25 part series) she is visited by a client just released from 8 years in prison. This woman was accused and convicted of killing her husband, a prominent divorce attorney, but she still claims she is innocent. She wants Kinsey to find the real murder, but the trail and clues are 8 years cold. Kinsey takes the case anyway, not promising any real results. Things heat up more quickly than she ever would have suspected. I like the straight forward writing style, and the mid 1980s setting. Pre-cell phone and pre-internet, all of the investigative work is grounded in physical objects: literal paper trails, long drives to view evidence and conduct interviews, film which must be developed.

Arrival by Ted Chiang

This book of short stories contains one which was made into a film also titled Arrival which came out in 2017. That story is just one of eight in this very strong collection. "Tower of Babylon" is narrated by a stone cutter, Hillalum, hired by the creators of the famous tower. They have nearly reached the vault of heaven, which seems to be made of a smooth white marble. It takes Hillalum and his fellow workers a full month to climb to the tower's summit before they can set out on the daunting task of breaching heaven. "Understand" and "Divide by Zero" both contain super-smart individuals ultimately undone by their own intelligence. The standout piece is "Story of Your Life", in which a professor of linguistics is hired by the US government to learn the language of an alien race who have set up a series of mysterious mirror-like communication devices all over the world. As she learns both their written and oral languages she begins to gain strange insights into how these new beings think outside of linear time. "Seventy-Two Letters" is set in an alternate Victorian England in which Jewish mysticism has influenced the development of a new branch of science with staggering practical and theoretical applications. "Hell is an Absence of God" introduces a world in which angelic visitations are extremely common, and effect humans similarly to localized natural disasters. Then there are two shorter more meta pieces, one written as a introduction to a scientific journal and one as a transcription of a documentary both set in future worlds in which new scientific advancements have drastically changed human life.

Saving Montgomery Sole by Mariko Tamaki

This short young adult novel started a little slow, but seized my heart with unexpected force at the end. Montgomery is a teen unimpressed with most of the offerings of her small California town and public high school. She has two friends, a cheerful gay theater boy named Thomas, and a sanguine Lune Lovegood named Naoki. These three are the only members of The Mystery Club and all of the company that Monty feels she needs (aside from her family- Mama Kate, Mama Jo, and her sport-obsessed younger sister Tesla). Until, that is, Reverend White an internet famous anti-LGBTQ preacher moves to town. Just when Monty most needs more allies, it seems like everything she does drives people away.

Forward by Lisa Maas

A gentle and emotional romance of three parts. Rayanne hasn't dated for many years since a bad breakup. Ali is still healing after the death of her wife. Both women have too much baggage, but meet just as each of them is yearning for a second chance.

Lumberjanes: Unicorn Power! By Mariko Tamaki illustrated by Brooke Allen

Delightful, heart-warming and bounding with energy. This novel ties in with the comic series of the same name, but could possibly be read as a stand alone. April, Jo, Mal, Molly and Ripley discover a unicorn lost in the woods. It's herd live in a meadow of Clow Bell flowers at the base of a very mysterious mountain- as soon as April sees it she knows she must climb it. What seems like a simple hike turns into a very dangerous adventure- a situation that maybe even friendship can't overcome. I don't think anyone can read about the Lumberjanes without wanting to join.

Mine! Anthology edited by Molly Jackson

This comic book was produced as a fund raiser for Planned Parenthood, and I was honored to contribute the art for a short story written by Josh Trujillo. There are a huge number of stories in the book, ranging from 1 to 8 pages- a mix of nonfiction pieces about Planned Parenthood's past, personal histories, fictional pieces and some sci-fi futurist predictions. One of the stories, "Ethel Byrne" written by Cecil Castelluchi and Scott Chantler, was just nominated for an Eisner award!

[fayesison10]

Movie blog

Theme

-The Kissing Booth is a coming-of-age novel from Beth Reekles. The main theme of this novel deals with personal growth, as the teenage protagonist experiences first times, overwhelming feelings, body changes, unreliable boyfriends, and friendship.

Settings

-While the story is set in a Southern California neighbourhood, both movies were actually shot in South Africa! Yep, Cape Town, SA doubled as the backdrop for LA.

Plot

-Elle Evans and Lee Flynn have been best friends all their lives due to their mothers growing up together and having a deep bond.

As the two grow up they loved to dance on an arcade dance machine modeled after Dance Dance Revolution. When Elle is 11, her mother becomes terminally ill and, three years later, passes away. As she grows up, Elle's crush on Lee's popular older brother, Noah, deepens, but she tries her hardest to ignore it.

On the first day of junior year, Elle's school uniform pants split. She has to wear her school uniform skirt from freshman year and become the center of attention after school. An older student, Tuppen, inappropriately slaps Elle's buttocks. Noah steps in and fights Tuppen. Tuppen, Noah, and Elle are served with detention, where Tuppen apologizes. Elle later accepts his request for a date. Tuppen does not show up, though, after confessing to Elle that Noah has warned everyone not to pursue Elle romantically.

Elle and Lee dream up the idea of a "Kissing Booth" for their school fundraiser. During a party, Elle tells the popular OMG girls (Olivia, Mia, and Gwyneth) that Noah will be part of the booth, despite Noah having already refused her request.

The Kissing Booth opens to a roaring crowd. Everything goes well until Lee serves as the Flynn family kisser instead of Noah, disappointing the girls. Rachel steps up to kiss Lee. Lee and Rachel leave the booth in Elle's hands as they enjoy the fair. Annoyed that Elle lied about Noah's participation, the OMG Girls set up Elle to kiss an undesirable student. At the last second, the student waves Noah ahead. Noah kisses the blindfolded Elle, and when she lifts her blindfold and sees Noah in front of her, they kiss again in front of the whole school.

Cleaning up the booth, Elle is upset to see Noah flirting with another girl. Noah offers her a ride on his motorcycle, but the rain forces them to take shelter in a park gazebo. Elle kisses Noah and tells him she cannot be just another sexual conquest. Hurt, Noah reveals he has feelings for her.

Near the end of a raucous beach party, Warren tries to convince Elle to go to a hot tub, much to Elle's objections. Noah comes to Elle's defense. Warren taunts Noah for his protectiveness, and Noah body slams Warren while Elle runs away from the situation. Noah catches up to her and gives her a ride home. Along the way, he apologizes for his feelings for her as they detour to the Hollywood Sign where they get intimate for the first time. They establish rules for their relationship, most notably that Lee never finds out.

Elle overhears Noah's mother saying he had been accepted to an Ivy League school. Noah swears Elle to secrecy that he has been accepted to Harvard University.

While fixing Noah's motorcycle, Elle falls and cuts her face. Lee walks in while Noah is taking care of her wound. Lee accuses Noah of hurting Elle. Lee asks Elle if they are dating, and Elle swears nothing is going on. As Noah and Elle share a kiss after agreeing to tell Lee the truth, he walks in on them. Lee is furious that Elle has broken their friendship rules. Lee runs to his car and tells Elle that their friendship is the one thing his brother never had and that now he has nothing. Lee peels off in his car. Elle lashes out at Noah, blaming him for exposing their relationship. Noah rides off on his motorcycle.

Noah is MIA at school for the next couple of weeks, risking not graduating, and Lee completely ignores Elle. She all of a sudden remembers Rule #7: "No matter how mad you are at your best friend, you have to forgive them if they give you ice cream." She offers him a chocolate ice cream cone, but he throws it in the garbage can. While sitting at the arcade, Elle sees Lee enter the arcade, and he invites Elle to dance with him. Lee forgives Elle, and they reconcile.

Elle goes to prom with Lee and his girlfriend Rachel. Huge black and white photographs adorn the walls of Memory Lane, a special prom exhibit. Deeper into Memory Lane lies the Kissing Booth. Noah emerges from the back of the Kissing Booth, inviting Elle up to the stage. Noah confesses his love for her publicly. Elle runs away. Noah apologizes to Lee for everything at home and tells Lee that he is serious about Elle and will be leaving for Boston the next day to get settled in for college.

At Elle and Lee's birthday costume party the next day, Elle confesses her love for Noah to Lee. Lee relents and wants Elle to be happy and agrees to help her find Noah, who is likely en route to the airport. Driving Lee's car, Elle shares her true feelings for Noah with Lee, dressed in his Batman costume, only to find out that Noah is underneath the Batman costume. Elle is ecstatic to find out that Lee has invoked Rule #18: "Always be happy for your bestie's successes."

Elle and Noah spend the following weeks together before he leaves for college. Watching him go, she is unsure if the relationship will last, but she knows a part of her heart will always belong to him and rides his motorcycle into the sunset.

Characters

-Joey King as Shelly "Elle" Evans, lifelong best friend of Lee and girlfriend of Noah.

Joel Courtney as Lee Flynn, best friend of Elle, Noah's younger brother and Rachel's boyfriend.

Jacob Elordi as Noah Flynn, Lee's older brother and love interest and eventual boyfriend of Elle.

Meganne Young as Rachel, Lee's girlfriend.

Stephen Jennings as Mike Evans, Elle's father.

Carson White as Brad Evans, Elle's younger brother.

Molly Ringwald as Sara Flynn, Noah and Lee's mother, and mother figure to Elle.

Morné Visser as Mr. Flynn, Noah and Lee's father .

Jessica Sutton as Mia, a popular, mean girl at school who has a crush on Noah. She is the leader of the OMG (Olivia, Mia, Gwyneth) girls.

Zandile Madliwa as Gwyneth, Mia's friend and one of the OMG girls.

Bianca Bosch as Olivia, Mia's friend and one of the OMG girls.

Michelle Allen as Heather, fellow student and Goth girl.

Joshua Eady as Tuppen, a football player who sexually assaults Elle before asking her out and then standing her up after being threatened with physical harm by Noah.

Conflict

-A girl who is helping with the kissing booth sees that Noah has come and he pays to kiss someone she chickens out so Elle has to do it. The whole problem begins at the school's Spring Carnival. The time is spring.

Impact

-The theme of the book is keeping secrets is sometimes a really bad thing. Lee finds out that Noah and Elle have been dating and he is really mad at Elle for not telling him. Elle then breaks up with Noah and she is all alone and heartbroken. She is confused on what she should do.

Man vs man

-Marco and Noah competed for elle because Noah went to Harvard and elle dropped out of her old school and met Marco, Marco was with her when Noah disappeared.

Man vs himself

-Lee was hurt to know the truth.

Man vs society

-Noah wonders what he will choose whether Elle or his friends at harvard.

Dynamic because the characters in the story have not changed, the story is different because they tell the whole story.

[couroworkpal1989]

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[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Safe Harbor (2/?)

Thor woke alone in your bed on shredded sheets. The marks you’d left on him were still healing and he could feel every bite and every scratch. Gods, he thought stretching and looking down at the marks you left on his chest, you had been wild. Wild and rough and everything he needed. He heard movement above his head and pulled on his clothes, unwilling to just be shirtless now that the haze of endorphins and lust had burnt out. He remembered your appreciation of his body and blushed. The kisses and caresses as you lay in the dark with him waiting for him to recover to go again. He hadn’t minded being nude then. Your want of him had drowned out his anxiety about his body. He’d fed into your lust readily. He’d been eager and you certainly hadn’t been shy, spurring him on again and again until you had both been exhausted. You’d slept with your head on his chest and he’d been lulled to sleep by the comfort of a warm body in his arms and the rocking of the boat.

You lay in the sun, sipping coffee and writing, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, a cardigan that was several sizes too big keeping away the early morning chill. He watches you for a moment and smiles to himself. He knows now what you are. If the growling hadn’t given it away, the biting and the orgasms when he bit you in the right places had given it away. It had been a long time since he’d had the pleasure of bedding one of your kind. A true born wolf at that. Those were rare in this time. A true born female wolf, rarer still. It did explain your plump frame, not that it needed explaining. It did not explain your solitary journey though. Thor wondered. He also wondered if you might be interested in breakfast with him. He was famished. He decided as you stretched and made a noise that reminded him of a sleepy puppy that he wanted breakfast first. He wanted to know what it was like to be one of those sleepy-eyed couples holding hands and sipping coffee in a diner booth. 

He cleared his throat quietly and your head swiveled to him, alert. You relaxed into a smile when you saw him, “Hey, Handsome,” you say rising to your feet and wrapping your arms around his waist. You rise on your toes to kiss him good morning just as his stomach rumbles and you chuckle, “Time for breakfast?’ Thor blushes but leans into your kiss. He loved good morning kisses. He’d missed having someone to kiss good morning and bring coffee too. He’s not really had that since Jane and that felt like a lifetime ago. “I am famished,” he said touching the bite on your neck tenderly, making you shiver, “And I’d like to treat you to breakfast after last night.” He gives you his most roguish smile and you grin, “You enjoyed yourself, hm?” Thor laughed, a big booming laugh and you kiss his belly fondly, “My lady, I think that is an understatement,” he declared. “To say that I merely enjoyed last night… tsk tsk, you, you may have ruined me for anyone else.” His praise makes you flush and you smile up at him, “Well, then perhaps we’ll have to do it again before I leave?” Thor traces your bottom lip with his thumb and kisses you slowly, one hand cupping your ass, “I would like that, Y/N. You need only name a time.” You grin and hand him a business card reading;

Y/N Y/L/N: Acquisitions, Extractions, Missing Persons, and Security Phone: 555-046-8378 Email: Y/N.Y/L/N@gmail.com Inquire for Rates. 

“Give me a call later today,” you tell him winking. “As lovely as breakfast sounds, I need to go see my parents before they send someone out looking for me. If my brother finds out I spent the night being fucked into oblivion instead of coming home properly he’ll be put out with me. Thor is disappointed but he pockets the card, “A raincheck on breakfast then?” he asked hopefully. You kiss him softly and ghost a hand over his groin, “Thor, if you really want we can just fuck all night and then get breakfast at 4am. Or we can go on a proper date. Or we can just fuck and you can eat pussy for dinner. All I know is that if you call, I’m probably going to answer the phone.” Thor grins and swats your backside, “Only probably?” he asks. You shrug, teasingly, “You tapped out on me early, I still could have gone at least one more time.” Thor gasped in mock horror, “My lady, I did no such thing.” You grin, rolling your motorcycle to the railing and putting your hair in a bun, “Whatever you have to tell your friends, baby. But, you tapped out so.” 

Thor pulls you into him for a searing kiss, letting the full weight of his powers as a god of fertility leave you breathless and quietly begging him for more than a kiss. He can feel the need burn through you and just as he’s about to give into you and rip your shorts down to bend you over a rail and fuck you, he lets you go, nipping your lip and leaving you panting and horny. “Thor,” you gasp, “That’s not playing fair.” He winks at you and strolls lazily down the dock, “Who said we were playing fair?” You laugh and he half salutes you as he saunters away whistling. He feels better than he has in a long time. He feels like himself. A little closer to the old self he used to be. And people notice as he walks into the compound in yesterday’s clothes. The marks you left on him may be gone now but the satisfaction of knowing you’re going to be horny and uncomfortable for the rest of the day remains. “Tapped out indeed,” he mutters to himself, quietly planning to make you eat those words later.

Natasha and Steve give him a once over, eyebrows raised, “So,” Natasha said, “I see things went well with your new lady friend.” Thor doesn’t even blush, “Yes, and then they went well several more times.” Steve choked on his coffee, “Do you know her?” Thor shook his head, “Never seen her before in my life. But I’ll be seeing her again tonight.” Bucky nodded, “Nice, she got a name?”

Thor handed Bucky the business card, “Even better. You’re fucking a werewolf.” Natasha took the card and laughed, “Oh. My. God. Her brother is going to be so fucking pissed.” Thor raised an eyebrow and took the card back, “She did mention a brother, but would you care to elaborate on how you know her?” Natasha nodded, “Well can’t speak for Bucky but I met her when we were looking for Bruce,” she said, “Without her, I don’t think Sheild ever would have located him… She was maybe 17. Just getting started. She’d just stopped aging about then too.” Thor nodded and looked to Bucky who shrugged, “I shot her in the ass with some silver buckshot. She got between me and my target. Does she still have a scar?” Thor snorted, “I didn’t spend too much time sightseeing. I was a little preoccupied.”  Steve shook his head, “Jesus, you’re all insane.” Natasha shrugged, “She’s a good kid… When you meet Warren try to keep your hands off of her though. Werewolves can get especially territorial around females. Particularly females without mates and especially females like her that can actually have children.” Thor nodded, “I’ll take that under advisement.” Bucky snorted, “Man, I hope you know what you’re doing. I’ve seen her do some pretty wicked damage with her teeth.” Thor only smirked, “I know… A couple of them sort of tickled.” Steve groaned and covered his ears, “God, now if I ever meet her all I’m going to picture is that.” Natasha handed Thor a cup of coffee, “I dunno. Having seen her, I can think of worse things to picture.” Thor nodded, “Indeed.”

Tags: @lancsnerd @innerpaperexpertcloud

[renaroo]

Day 8 Campfire: The Phoenix and the Wolf

Disclaimer: X-Men and associated characters are the creative property of Marvel Comics Warnings: Canon-typical violence & language Pairings: JeanxLaura Rating: T Synopsis: Laura and Jean spend some time together. Or, rather, Laura was needing some alone time and Jean couldn’t keep herself from following. An awkward camping experience ensued. JeanxLaura. Sapphic September: Campfire

A/N: This one is very late but I loved writing it because this lowkey ship of mine is something I feel SO STRONGLY in my own bones. I just love everything about Laura and Young Jean and I super super wish we got this instead of every other romance decision made for the two of them by Marvel.

She was the best at what she did, and what she did… Well, it wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t pretty at all. And more often than not, it drove away those closest to her, the people who probably should have known better than to get too close to start with.

And Laura tried to not be surprised when it happened, when she drove a wedge between herself and every person she came to care for. But at the end of the day that was a lesson Logan could never teach her and that Sarah struggled to keep. Both or neither were her fault, and she never could figure out which side of the fence it was on.

When she bit the bullet and tore out her own heart so Warren wouldn’t have to that time, Laura realized for the first time just why it was important for the Wolverine to take a walk, to step away from towns and cities and cabins, and just find herself in the beautiful nothingness of the wilderness. Run wild, feel the freezing snow against bare skin.

In order to do that, however, Laura first needed to do something about the one person in the world she could not bear to drive a wedge between. The one person in the world who wouldn’t let her if she tried. And the one family that Laura was determined to never show the self-destructiveness that ran through their bitter veins.

“I can’t believe you signed me up for a summer camp,” Gabby said, glaring at the campus of the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning from the entrance gates. Her book bag was full and her arms even fuller with Jonathan the Wolverine. “You signed me up for a mutant summer camp which is basically school.”

“Which is basically training,” Laura said solidly, adjusting her sunglasses. “If you’re determined to make Wolverine and Wolverine a thing, I need you to train with other mutants, learn how to psychically defend yourself, and be exposed to all the types of threats that we’ll come across while we’re doing our job.”

“Couldn’t we do that by just sneaking inside and using the danger room?” Gabby tried to argue.

“No,” Laura replied simply.

“Why?” Gabby begged.

“Because you also need to learn math and history and science—“

“Oh my god! This isn’t a camp! It’s summer school!” Gabby cried out, mortified. “I know all those things better than you already, too!”

“You’re proving my point,” Laura said, glancing over the brim of her glasses at her little sister. “I didn’t go to school like I was supposed to.”

“But I’m Wolverine,” Gabby groaned. “School is too lame if you’re Wolverine!”

“Nah, you have to go to school if you’re Wolverine, Gabs,” Laura assured her. “That’s where every Wolverine earns their street credit among other mutants.”

That, at least, sparked Gabby’s attention. She hummed to herself, sizing up the competition around the school grounds. “Okay… but what are you doing for a month? If you’re doing something dangerous without me and I find out—“

“It’s not dangerous,” Laura assured her. “I don’t even have my costume. It’s just something I have to do alone — and, no, not in the alone but Gabby adventures along anyway. I have to do this alone because…”

“Because you’re mad at yourself for breaking up with Warren?” Gabby suggested.

“No, because I’m not mad at myself for breaking up with Warren,” Laura said simply. “Look, Gabby… I’m not just doing this for me. Think of it… Well, remember how Logan — my Logan — he… he died. And I immediately became Wolverine and joined the new X-Men?”

Looking sincerely empathetic, Gabby shook her head. “No, Laura. I don’t. I wasn’t around yet.”

“Well, that’s how I handled it,” Laura continued. “I didn’t handle it. I left some loose ends. I’d like to tie them up before they grow any looser, and before I forget why I miss the old son of a bitch so much.”

While still looking apprehensive, Gabby conceded and nodded. “Okay. I can suffer for a month of school for that,” she declared.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

Both Laura and Gabby looked up just as none other than Jean Grey herself floated down from the sky to meet them, landing only feet away with a soft smile on her face. She had cut her hair, she had changed a lot of things, and Laura was certain that looking less and less like the Jean Grey of the statue in the middle of the courtyard had something to do with that.

As the new Wolverine herself, Laura sympathized.

“Hello, Laura, thank you for finally bringing Gabrielle here,” Jean said comfortably.

“Jean,” Laura greeted her back.

“Hi! I bet you’re Jean Grey,” Gabby said, shifting Jonathan so that she could offer the psychic a hand to shake. “I’m Gabrielle. But you already know that. I love your hair. And that jacket. Hope that’s not weird.”

“Not weird at all,” Jean assured her, accepting the handshake. Her eyes then glanced toward Laura, a voice in Laura’s head uninvited speaking, I asked Professor Kitty to let me show Gabrielle around. You should come with us instead of planning to leave already. It would help Gabby feel more at home. She’s very worried about you.

Lowering her glasses so that Jean could see the seriousness of her eyes, Laura squinted at her. Out of my head, Jean.

“Is it awkward knowing future you has a school named after her but current you isn’t going to be future you anymore so there’s a chance that all of reality is going to collapse?” Gabby then asked Jean with positively no tact.

Jean’s mouth opened slightly and then she looked back to Laura as if to ask for help.

“Have fun, Gabs!” Laura called as she waved a hand and walked toward her motorcycle. “I’ll be back in a month.”

Gabby turned and ran straight for Laura, throwing herself into a hug around Laura’s waist. “You better be back in a month exactly, or I’ll never forgive you and we’ll both be sad about it forever and you know you would be,” she demanded, face buried against Laura’s hip.

Laura wasn’t entirely sure what to do in response, but she let instincts take over. She lifted both of her hands and ran them through Gabby’s hair. First like petting Jonathan, then, just holding the family she loved more than anything close, and safely.

“I can never let you down, Gabby. You know that,” Laura assured her.

The tension fled Gabby’s body almost immediately, but she kept the hug. Laura then looked up to Jean, watching her concerned expression.

I know you’re still in here, Laura warned. Don’t bother. I mean what I say. I don’t lie to Gabby. Ever. I’ll be back in a month for her. Take care of her until then. Or tell whoever’s in charge to.

Jean only nodded in response.

Breaking the moment with Gabby, Laura patted her head again then got onto the motorcycle.

She needed the month. She needed the time. She told herself that one and over again, no matter how much it hurt to feel the scathing disappointment she was leaving behind in her selfish needs’ wake.

The forests in Nunavut were, at the very least, expansive. The looks of disbelief and concern from locals as she checked her gear through the lenses of sunglasses and poked around the local bait and trap shop for more supplies were well deserved.

“Do you need a map?” the shopkeeper asked worriedly.

“My old man’s place is burned into my memory,” Laura answered, throwing a few bags of cold hotdog wieners onto the counter and pulling her wallet out from her back pocket. “I could get to it blindfolded.”

The cashier seemed hesitant but the fifty pound note Laura held up to pay seemed to calm some nerves about the situation. Still, she looked warily at Laura. “There aren’t any cabins for miles in these woods.”

“You have to know where to look,” she responded cryptically before packing the freshly bought meat into her bag and heading out the store’s door. It was the best she could do under the circumstances. After all, no one was likely to take the true answer being that Laura had every intention of living the next few weeks exactly the way Logan had.

Mobile. Unsettled. Nothing but what she packed and what she found and what she built, fire included.

It honed instincts, it kept that bit of herself that would always be feral alive deep inside.

It…

She needed to feel close to Logan again. Her Logan. Her father. The one she lost before Gabby or Warren or —

The wind was cold even in the summer, and the way it whistled through trees that lived to see hundreds if not thousands of years was foreboding and terrifying to those who were not expecting it. But Laura expected it.

Just like she expected the chill to her bones and the hollowness of moving through the trees without a real direction — Laura expected the wilderness to fill her with the same kind of dread and disappointment that every home, every four walls which once housed the man whose legacy she wore as her own filled her with.

For other campers and hikers, the night was full of darkness and horrors, but for Laura they promised only a small and subtle change as predictably unpredictable as the winds. She kept her head down and walked further through her self-made trail. It was the sort of thing she was certain that Logan did when he took his long solo travels.

By the time she found some water to drink from and refill her canteen, Laura was looking at the other side of morning and slowing down.

Sitting by the stream’s edge, Laura cupped her hands and washed her face of the sweat and dirt and grime that her trip had earned her thus far. Then she leaned down and stuck her head into the water enough to take a deep drink.

The water was so cold and so pure, she couldn’t help but close her eyes in order to savor it. But as a result, when she opened her eyes, she was met with something unexpected in her reflection.

Red hair.

Laura swung out first with her sweeping right leg, toe claw out for attack. but fortunately for Jean, she was quick to end it quickly. Her claws were still drawn and her eyes narrowed, but Laura wasn’t about to attack Jean Grey the younger.

“Whoa, easy!” Jean said, hands up as if that was supposed to calm Laura after receiving such a shock.

“If I wasn’t taking it easy, you’d be on the wrong end of a boot, Jean,” Laura hissed. All the same, she rose to her feet and sheathed her claws, looking down in disappointment at her new hiking books. Her eyes then sharply turned back toward Jean. “You owe me new boots.”

“That’s fair,” Jean agreed, glancing over Laura with a frown. “I think it’s also fair for me to be pointing out that for someone who’s on vacation, you look pretty legitimately terrible.”

“I don’t remember asking you,” Laura said, turning around to gather her stuff by the stream. “Why are you here and what do I have to do to send you back to civilization and my little sister?”

“I followed you because… Well, psychically you were fuming with distress when you dropped Gabrielle off at the school,” Jean explained reluctantly, rubbing her shoulder. “You… Or your brain was crying out in pain. And I couldn’t ignore it. That’s the reason I was… invading your mind. I didn’t do it maliciously. I was worried.”

“Because I was in pain?” Laura asked critically.

“Of course,” Jean answered.

“Did it occur to you that I’m out here because I want to address that pain?” Laura demanded. “My only goal here is to get closer to my father. To feel like I’m with him one last time… that we could get together like we never managed when he was alive. That I was finally making him proud by being able to do something he never could — by raising a family and putting away the killer in me as much as I feasibly could.” She then met Jean’s bright, begging eyes at last. “I’m here to mourn him. Because he died. And now I’m trying to be Wolverine without him.”

“And you think doing that alone is the only way you can?” Jean asked lowly.

“This isn’t like Madripoor and the trigger scent,” Laura snapped. “You can’t reach in my brain and unlock my problems like there’s some key. I’m allowed to mourn my old man as much as anyone else, Jean.”

“Everyone misses Logan,” Jean assured her. “If you explained to Professor Ororo or Professor Kurt—“

“Everyone misses him but you and the rest of the time displaced kids of the atom,” Laura accused. “God, I can’t even imagine what pain it’d cause him to know that Jean freaking Grey wasn’t mourning him because she couldn’t so much as remember the time they had together.”

“I remember,” Jean said softly. “I have looked into the memories of my… expired self. I know what happened between them.”

“Remembering isn’t experiencing,” Laura said firmly. “And you’re not his Jean Grey.”

“You’re right,” Jean replied, actually breathing a sigh of relief. She then looked seriously toward Laura. “But I am your Jean Grey, Laura. I’m your friend. I’m… I’m here for you. And when I felt you were in pain, I knew in that moment that I was going to make it my job, my responsibility to help you. Because feeling you in such pain brings me that heartache. And I can’t stand the idea of not being there for you when you needed me most.”

Laura looked at Jean in disbelief for a long moment before glancing off, tucking hair behind her ears. “Wow. That’s… Huh.” She looked back to Jean, brows furrowed. “I didn’t even get a speech that good when I was dating dudes.”

Jean offered a gentle but still coy smile. “What good are dudes for, anyway?”

“I can never remember once I move past ‘em,” Laura answered with a small laugh.

Jean’s eyes widened for a moment and she glanced off, face blushed. “Sorry. I… um. Sometimes I’m still trying to not get residual emotions off people without permission and… when I let my guard down I sense things… I didn’t mean to…”

Laura ran her hands through her hair. “C’mon, Red, surely even in the past they knew how to pick up on someone flirting.”

If possible, Jean’s face grew redder. She looked up to Laura reluctantly. “Laura… I…. I’m not the Phoenix. If I play my cards right, I never will be. I’ll be… just Jean.”

“It’d be weird if you tried to be the older you,” Laura agreed. “I wasn’t exactly hitting on the older you. I was just hitting on, well, you. Unless you think just because I share a tacky fashion sense that I’m somehow becoming Logan. Like I said, I’m trying to be the Wolverine he’d be proud of. And Logan was a lot of things, but he wasn’t always proud of what those things made him.”

Jean seemed hesitant still, but she stepped closer to Laura. “You still look exhausted. We should make camp. Then figure out what we’re doing until that month is up.”

“Only if you light the fire and show me how you masked yourself from me for two thousand miles,” Laura offered.

Jean’s eyes sparked with something playful. “It’s a deal.”

The wilderness was still expansive, and there was still a chill through Laura’s bones that reminded her of the life her father had lived.

But at that time, by a campfire with Jean leaning against her side as the wood crackled and burned, Laura didn’t feel the pain of her grief as acutely as she felt the pride of his gaze on her.

He never wanted his life for her, he wanted something better. Something warmer. The proof that the lone wolf can still survive with a new pack.

Jean was warm and Jean was good. And Laura’s life was not Logan’s, just like the warm new emotion burning between her and Jean was entirely their own.

Even in a world that thought it knew the old story of the phoenix and the wolf.

[jomtpodcast]

Here’s the IMDB bio of William Smith, whom I only described as a “meat log” of a human being because I was not aware that he is still alive. Please no one tell him what I said. I’m pretty sure he could kill me.

Biker, bare-knuckle brawler, cowboy, Bee-Girl fighter, vampire hunter . . . William Smith has done it all. He was born on March 24, 1933, in Columbia, Missouri, on Rolling Acres, a Hereford cattle ranch. After losing everything to the dust bowl, the family moved to California. From 1942, when he was eight, through young adulthood, Bill appeared in many movies as an extra (uncredited). After high school, he joined the Air Force and served during the Korean War and flew secret ferret missions over Russia while in the NSA. He studied at the University of Munich, and Syracuse University. He graduated cum laude at UCLA. Bill would go on to become one of Hollywood's best-known character actors, with over 300 TV and movie credits. On TV he played in many westerns (did his own horseback riding), cop and sci-fi shows. He's best remembered for appearing in Batman (1966) as, appropriately, Adonis in the last episode. He was a series regular in Hawaii Five-O (1968), where he played Det. James "Kimo" Carew (the episode with Cathy Lee Crosby, "The Kahuna," drew particularly high ratings). On the big screen, Bill is legendary for biker flicks (he does his own motorcycle riding). His first biker flick, Run, Angel, Run! (1969), was shot in 13 days for under $100,000--and made $13 million! This was followed by Angels Die Hard (1970). These early, ground-breaking features defined the genre, and would be imitated endlessly (but never duplicated). In the early 1970s, Bill got into horror films--playing a vampire slayer in Grave of the Vampire (1972)--and science fiction, in the camp classic Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973), where he fought killer insect-women wearing sunglasses. Just about everybody's favorite William Smith movie, though, is Any Which Way You Can (1980), where as a bare-knuckle brawler he had a knock-down, drag-out fight with Clint Eastwood that wrecked about half the town. Tougher than Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill played his dad in Conan the Barbarian (1982), and was one of the few actors in the wildly popular, but critically lambasted, youth-oriented Red Dawn (1984) to receive any recognition from critics. He was in what could be called a textbook example of low-budget, campy sci-fi, Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988). Just about everybody who has ever worked with Bill speaks highly of him. He's educated, intelligent and energetic. A true legend in the business, Bill's acting career is still going strong in 2006, well into the 64th year of his career.

- IMDb Mini Biography By: kdhaisch@aol.com

And another

William Smith is probably best known for his portrayal as "Falconetti" in Rich Man, Poor Man (1976). He first came to the screen as a child actor in films such as Going My Way (1944) and The Song of Bernadette (1943), before entering the service during the Korean War. There, his fluency in five languages landed him in the N.S.A. Security Squadron 6907. While working towards his doctorate, he landed a contract with MGM and never looked back. Over the next thirty years, Smith became one of the kings of B-movie villainy. With a prolific number of roles in westerns, biker, horror, sci-fi, and action pictures, his face-and muscular physique-are familiar to generations of movie fans.

- IMDb Mini Biography By: Warren C. Staib

and, lastly, if you enjoy a long read: Here’s the trivia section:

Appeared in the final episode of Batman (1966), the first episode of The Rockford Files (1974), and although he was in the final season cast, he was not in the final episode of Hawaii Five-O (1968), he received on-screen credit only.

2 Time Arm Wrestling World Champion-200lb class-Petaluma, CA

Graduated UCLA Cum Laude.

He was the Marlboro Man in the final televised Marlboro commercial.

Fluent in English, Russian, German, French, Serbo-Croatian.

Had a 31-1 record as an amateur boxer

Held the Air Force Light-Heavyweight Weightlifting Championship

Performed over 5,100 continuous sit-ups over a five-hour period.

Has a Masters Degree in Russian and taught Russian Language Studies at UCLA in the late 1950s.

Won a Muscle Beach contest by performing 35 inverted handstand dips

Direct descendant of Western figures Kit Carson and Daniel Boone.

Bruce Lee personally offered Smith the co-lead in Enter the Dragon (1973), but another film went over schedule and John Saxon stepped into the role.

Filmed an eight-minute test pilot portraying Caine for the TV series Kung Fu (1972), wearing prosthetic eyepieces to make him appear Chinese. The network wanted Smith for the role, but producer Jerry Thorpe ultimately deemed him too muscular and menacing.

Turned down the role of Tarzan at MGM.

Fought California wildfires in the early 1950s

Worked as a lifeguard on the French Riviera

Threw the discus 151 feet at a time when the top AAU distance was 150.6 feet.

Won the Light-Heavyweight German-Austrian Boxing Championship while in the service.

Has a master's degree in Russian.

His favorite writer is Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Inducted into the Venice Muscle Beach Bodybuilding Hall of Fame 2010. 

Woo.

Listen to us discuss this episode with our guest Kevin Mellon

[krispyweiss]

Gregg Allman Dead at 69

Gregg Allman, the multi-instrumentalist singer and songwriter who with his brother Duane was a namesake of the long-running Allman Brothers Band, has died.

“It is with deep sadness that we announce that Gregg Allman, a founding member of The Allman Brothers Band, passed away peacefully at his home in Savannah, Georgia,” said a statement on his website Saturday.

“Gregg struggled with many health issues over the past several years. During that time, Gregg considered being on the road playing music with his brothers and solo band for his beloved fans, essential medicine for his soul. Playing music lifted him up and kept him going during the toughest of times.”

Kenny Wayne Shepherd was among the first musicians to react to the news, taking to Facebook to thank Allman “for the music and the memories.”

Allman was 69.

“Rest in peace, brother,” Charlie Daniels tweeted. “You were the best Dixie had. You will be missed.”

“Gregg Allman had a feeling for the blues very few ever have hard to believe that magnificent voice is stilled forever,” Daniels said later.

Allman and his brother, Duane, founded the Allman Brothers Bandin 1969 and the group found great success in the wake of 1971’s At Fillmore East, a double LP at the top of nearly every list of best live albums.

But tragedy struck soon after as Duane died in a motorcycle accident; bassist Berry Oakley died in a similar crash the following year, beginning a long saga of tragedies, breakups and reformations for the band, which played its final show in 2014.

Twenty men were Allman Brothers over the band’s three active periods - 1969-1976; ‘78-1982; and ‘89-2014 - but only Gregg and drummer Butch Trucks, who committed suicide earlier this year, played in every iteration.

Longtime brother Warren Haynes posted a long, heartfelt statement on Facebook, which he ending by saying, “I love you Gregory.”

“I am truly honored to have been fortunate enough to have written many songs with him and equally honored to have traveled the world with him while making the best music the world has ever known,” Haynes wrote. “I will never, ever take that for granted. And on top of all that - he was my dear friend.”

Joe Bonamassa said on Twitter his first concert was a solo Allman show as he remembered the singer.

“I am so very saddened to hear of Gregg’s passing today,” the guitarist said. “One-of-a-kind voice and musician.”

Between stints with the band that bore his name, Allman married six times - most famously to Cher - and released a half-dozen solo albums that included hits such as “I’m No Angel” and a cover of the Allmans’ “Midnight Rider”

“My heart breaks today at the passing of soul brutha Gregg Allman,” Keith Urban tweeted. “Blessings and peace to all the Allman family.”

5/27/17