#Rip my queue ig.

[stick-by-me]

Shake things up!

+ a really sketchy video of me shaking them xD

[Video ID: a very zoomed in version of the above sticker sheet, out of the packaging, being shaken. The contents of each lava lamp jiggle around rapidly. The audio consists mainly of a high pitched maraca-like sound, but there's also crickets in the background, and some kind of rhythmic thumping. End ID.]

[stealingpotatoes]

well i did have a post queued for tonight but tumblr ate it so,

edit: tumblr ??? still ate it ??? but let me reblog it ????

edit.2: i managed to post it but it posted to the time of the ask not today??? and isnt in any tags lmao

[deus-ex-mona]

soloing a group project be like

[tonyglowheart]

after like a week of running between Michaels and JoAnn to compare yarn types and colors (why are the colors I am trying to match so hard to acquire, hm ? ), I have finally gathered the materials to make a Leetol Guy

[thekidsare-not-alright]

anytime I try to get myself to use my queue I'm all "but I wanna post now!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" like a little needy child

[wierdautumn]

I WISHHHHHHH remaking was easier. it should be possible to like port over sideblogs right ? cause u can just add new accounts as admins and then . remove the first blog ? idk i want a fresh start

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

[lix-ables]

[05:54.]

🦋 [mdni, this post contains smut, dirty talk, teasing, m rec - slight handjob, mentions of deep throating, praising, slight dacryphilia, reader gets called pathetic and needy, ig that's it?]

🦋 note. was supposed to queue this but guess who got sidetracked by gorillaz eep. anyways here’s a lil birthday binnie brainrot…

🦋 wc // 694.

🦋 masterlist

🦋 © lix-ables. translating and/or reposting is not allowed.

“you know, i had this dream last night and -fuck- you couldn’t keep your hands off me,” changbin curses, his fingers finding themselves in your hair, tugging a few strands once, twice, until he pulls you close to his face to kiss you. 

“yeah? what was i doing in it, bin?” you smirk at your friend’s comment. being tipsy on today out of all days, wasn’t really your plan. you didn’t expect changbin to get all touchy. were you used to it? sure. but today, it was much more than before. and since it was his birthday soon, you let him have his way with you.

changbin's hand finds yours, his fingers tangled in yours as he leans in close to your face, his lips inches away from yours. "for starters, you listened to every word i said, sweetheart. that included no back talk." his free hand reaches up to your face, fingers tracing your jawline, before his thumb caressed your cheek. you watched his eyes flutter – the effect of alcohol taking over him. you had to admit, you liked it when he called you over just for a drink, and let things get carried forward from there. 

no questions of being fuck buddies, or being in a relationship.

“you also looked really pretty on your knees you know. got all dressed up for me, but i think i ripped your panties.  tears in the corner of your eyes when i fucked your mouth, got you whining for me, so pathetic and needy. all for me. but you know i like it when you get needy for me,” he whispers, his eyes looking at your face when he said this. "you also said you'd be good for me," he mumbles slowly.

"am i not always good for you, binnie?" your eyes find his own when he looks at you. "fuck, you are. so so good for me. always so obedient when i ask you to be, and so pretty when you do it." 

now, you hoped he’s stop teasing you, the night had just begun, and here you were, in your apartment, on the couch that both of you bought, and also where changbin ate you out on couple occasions. “you’re the birthday baby, you need to tell me what your dream was so i can make it come true,” you nudge his shoulder, pulling away from him. “that’s not what you called me last time i fucked you,” changbin groans when he feels your hand reach to stroke over his clothed boner. “remind me again what i called you?” you purr. you almost let out a whine when he tugs on your hair once again, his fingers resting at the nape of your neck right after. “baby, you should know better than being a brat right now,” he mumbles, giving in to your touch and teasing. “maybe you should just take my cock out,” changbin suggests after what felt like a minute. 

“and do what?” you ask innocently, your thumb making slow motions on his boner, acting like you needed instructions from him. teasing him like this seemed like too much fun, a bit too much. “usually by now i’d be in your mouth, feeling my dick hit the back of your throat,” changbin sighs, his hand moving away from your face. fingers rest on the hand that was on his crotch. “but since you’re being difficult, and teasing…”

“i’m being as good as i can be,” you mutter, rolling your eyes, and pull away your hand from changbin’s pants, only for him to wrap his fingers around your wrist, resting it back on his boner, only this time, his free hand nimbly works on the zipper, taking out his dick.

“you’re not being good right this moment,” he lets out, just as your fingers find his tip, thumb teasing the head and spreading the little pre-cum, making him groan. “if you keep that up, we’re not moving from this couch.”

“hmm, maybe i could just suck you off right here, the bedroom’s too far anyway,” you pout, your nails grazing the tip just a little. “wanna tell me about the dream, binnie?”

🦋 taglist — @hwajin  @starlostseungmin  @chrisbahng @niinjo @chvnnie @lixhues @joonszn @janvibutbetter @cherryhanji @blueberry-chan @dnadoublefelixx @ethereallino @stuckwithaphobiaa @chewryy @bangchanbabygirlx @meowminhosblog @zizis-world12 @aimeexx @whatudowhennooneseesyou @seobinniesshi @nightlychans @americanokisses @katieraven @h0neydewmoon

[reverais]

-

listen i didn’t know that tumblr had a tag limit and the whole bunch of my stream-of-consciousness-public-journal-entry is missing so im rewriting everything bc, of all the times, this is not one i want to forget

listen my queue is about to end and im about to drop some very emotionally-driven language formulations. the hell is language formulation even. i just dont know how to put any of this into words

tbh i feel like i havent really come to terms with everything

your girl just went through an unfortunately loss and went back to home for it. and philippines has some funeral customs i still cant wrap my mind around. tbh i feel like i haven’t mourned at all here. most grief ive experienced was from the three days it took to plan getting here

and im already anticipating the most grueling “return to normal” when i get back to canada

like i go back to work literally the day after i land (thank god its wfh tho). but i want to wail. i want to be unable to breathe bc i cried it all out. not just the loss. but the missing of home, the missing of family. again.

god i hate it. i always know its going to be like this whenever i leave home. but it just never seems to get easier. like i cried into my eye mask two days ago. we shouldve gotten drunk. thats why i didn’t cry yesterday. i was kinda elated even. i was like i should go home tomorrow (today) bc the night ended so well. not that tonight didn’t end well. but theres just a certain feeling looming. and i just want to cry it all out already. like rip the bandaid. but not here. not in front of everyone. especially not in front of ma. who also seems to be trying to choke things down.

no time ever feels enough but there’s always that thought of i need to make money, things are waiting for me. and tbh my lifestyle and comfort just isn’t for here no more. but anywhere the family is, i’ll go. no matter the mosquito and ant bites.

not to make this anymore complicated but church, man. i already know there’s something waiting for me there. and i don’t want to hear a second of it. i dont even think i can bring myself to be around people i can genuinely be myself with much less the ones who just orders and tells me what to do. that one is hard to explain as is. but ig thats just another bandaid to rip off when i finally have the guts to

“funny” things is that im this close to cursing god. after how i took in technoblades passing, he really thought to send another one my way. thats just cruel now

theyre all talking about me coming back next year december. and december is the known preferred time now bc not only is there more to do but the weather is nicer. more expensive but a more worthwhile trip. plus i have a list of what to bring back now. chocolates obv, the halloween sales ones esp. water bottles seem to be a current trend but still useful even out of trend anyway. ill try to find books for a particular cousin. and maybe speakers bc they love the bluetooth one. oreas and pringles and candies overall which are honestly cheaper here but whatever they want. the kids love toys still - i haven’t seen that kind of exciting in forever and i want to see it again. these kids got me running around and sweating. dont got their stamina and endurance for heat and itchy grass

all in all i think money goes the furthest here (as is anywhere). ill just buy experiences. ig thats movitation to stay in the deadend job for now. and to commit to pursuing something hopefully better for my future.

its late tho, i need to wake up early. good night.

[the-invisible-queer]

I went on Pintrest to find more pics for my aesthetic blog because the album is depleting - anything less than 100 pics in the album makes me panic since it posts 50 a day

I don't post enough on IG to keep the album full - everything I post on IG goes to the aesthetic album to be posted on the blog if it's good enough quality and then it gets sorted or deleted

I COULD adjust the queue to less than 50 but also why would I do that?

That blog posts like clockwork

People enjoy it

Why would I change anything?

Though rest in RIP to people who follow for the Baz content because it will inevitably run out because I stopped saving photos of him last year

But I'm still posting stuff I saved from 2021 still so they have time before it stops

At least a year maybe

[narrie]

diff anon but i was in the gelsenkirchen queue for a fucking hour i went for gelsenkirchen cause i thought not as many people would try for it but ig i was wrong my friend got munich tickets though

rip???? did u try on ur phone or laptop bc on my phone i got in after 8 min but on my laptop it took 40 min - even tho i joined the waiting room way earlier on my laptop 😬 i swear i alwayssss get tickets on my phone

[rocketdive]

vv/neon noir tour wordvomit

ya local idiot goes to see middle aged man 

i was running late but whatever tho, when i got there, there was still a decent line to get into the venue

Like i didn’t even get to the venue area before i joined the line… lol really just joined a random line and assumed it was for the concert but yeah venue was in sight

Openers were already playing when i got inside

Kaelan mikla is really cool

I was in the merch line for most of their set but i did get a shirt because the design was cool

Their merch manager gave me two stickers too

their merch manager/designer is soooooo pretty brb going to stalk on ig

Also big sadge because tshirts being 45 seems to be the standard, thanks putin for inflation

Got tote bag and was like, skip coat check, stuff it into the bag

Was really debating not bringing a coat but i kinda got pressured into taking one and ig it worked out with the tote

Hair was absolute shit that day but that worked out with beret plans and LOOK /someone/ has been wearing that old man hat for MONTHS plus my beret is cute tyvm still trying to see if there are any pics of me looking cute in the crowd loooooool

should have taken a fit pic but venue bathroom lighting was dim and they literally had a staff member manning the bathroom queue inside the bathroom (imo smart move but also rip to that staff member)

I did catch the end of kaelan mikla’s set and they are very cute

The lighting for their set was not that great tho, but i guess their budget might be more limited?

Also their vocalist did some straight up screams

Like kinda how diru kyo gets a separate category of screams

It was more like… witchy shrieking but very cool

Intermission music had Zetra and i’m wondering if it was hand picked or venue

Whoever was front row and dead center trying to get an autograph with some printout of the razorblade romance cover, i’m deceased

Actual setlist was different from earlier tour dates

Bless

Because funeral of hearts should rightfully be towards the end

Lol i didn’t recognize the beginning of wings of a butterfly for a good moment but tbh i don’t really like that song

the number of people recording for that song was …a lot lol i guess it’s popular

Also

I MANAGED TO GET A SPOT WITHOUT TALL PEOPLE BLOCKING MY VIEW BLESS

Maybe just blocked for a little bit but was soooooo clear compared to pretty much anything i’ve ever attended

Exception that one time i got 2nd row for oor and the obvs balcony ones

also probably because mr. vv is also kinda tall

THIS MAN IS SUCH AN UNCLE (™) WITH HIS THERMOS OR WHATEVER THAT PROBABLY HAD WARM/HOT WATER

UNCLE/AUNTIE ENERGY WITH THAT THERMOS

And i think he ran out of whatever was in his thermos and switched to drinking...i think proud source? the canned water

just really happy to experience the whole thing tbh

also just to scream “BURIED ALIVE BY LOVE” with everyone else in the crowd

mans was speedrunning the setlist or something because we straight up did not get any MC or whatever until the encore

And the first time he stopped to talk was so he could break up a fight (i’m also going to fight those idiots outside for getting salute the sanguine stepped in the middle of the song and getting the rest of the song cut)

Kaelan mikla was in the balcony, v cute, vv pointed them out at the end

One of them had her phone out (idk if she was recording for a bit?)

touring bassist rolled?folded? up his sleeves on a short sleeve shirt, i’m sure that signals something

Drummer was blowing kisses at the crowd at the end

Lol so many people were smoking weed or vaping

Dude next to me legit lit up a blunt during the first or second song

Also who brought their kid with the weeb demon slayer jacket

Twas also the uninterested boyfriend concert

And shoutout to the other poc dude next to me who knew all the lyrics

There was a surprising amount of uhhhh poc? people

Coz this genre is pretty white lmao

unfortunately did not meet the love of my life

Also did not bump into anyone for 2 days in a row, taking that W

also venue was passing out posters but i also chose a method of transport that was not favorable for transporting unprotected posters, but whatever, it’s got ~character~ now

[hadtochangeuserbecauseimparanoid]

One thing that has been a big theme and roadblock in my healing process lately is how much I hate how much I talk. Like, I probably hate myself for it more than anyone else does, and I've said stupid shit so you can only imagine. I've noticed how bad I am at interrupting when I get excited or think someone is misunderstanding and I legitimately still can't catch myself every time, part of it is it sadly triggers babe so he doesn't respond in a way that I respond internally well to. I end up beating myself up for it and just trying to instill in my mind to stop talking at all so I can't ever again. And of course I have adhd so it will never stick, plus I know its not healthy to 100% shut up forever so I break it eventually. I honestly just have so much trauma around being autistic and missing social queues, not seeing perspectives fully in the moment because I get defensive, not being shown healthy examples of stuff growing up ect, so I ruined relationships and friendships, and I've gotten so much better but I still interrupt and I still ramble where even I notice and hate how much I repeat myself and I don't know how to notice and stop. My brain has always output like a fucking jambalaya of words that would make much more sense in a different order, I don't know why, I have psychosis symptoms bc of bpd so maybe it's that dysreguleting my speech. And I hate when I interrupt each time I want to kill myself because it's always bc I misunderstood and then babe forgets what he was saying and it's always met with an awkward silence. Like I just want to rip my vocal cords out sometimes so I literally can't ever do that again I never mean to do it but I don't know why until after it's pointed out. And it feels so stupid this has been an addressed issue for almost two years like. I'm lucky we are extremely communicative and healthy because I really need this place to vent this without him seeing it dude, I don't want him to feel bad ever for any of it, his dad always fucking interrupted him I've seen it, usually bc he gets defensive or "knows more" and I do it there too (not bad but like, if he is critiquing a song and I happen to like q thing I'll interrupt and he'll forget the point yk). He should never feel bad for letting me know he wants me to work on being mindful of it, it's just so hard woth stuff like that and catch myself ig. I don't see how I didn't even care enough to interrupt until after and I hope trying to note it here can help me notice before more. I have already quite a few times I've just been slipping lately balancing that with other things I'm working on ect.

I just do hate how much it makes me want to fucking kill myself though, I have compounded so much of my trauma around that one personality trait of mine. I'm extremely talkative, I always have been, no one liked me because of it, I would sing out loud in class to myself until 5th grade, then I stopped talking because I realized why I was bullied, go figure. Then I started dating and that was just a flurry of examples as to why I should just shut up and maybe kill myself because I can't seem to figure out how to talk without annoying someone or making someone feel bad without meaning to. or when I was younger just straight up not having manners with friends parents. I just, I'm so tired of being myself dude. I'm tired of genuinely and soley feeling like a burden in other's lives. I can barely take care of myself financially because of my disabilities on top of it all, I'm hoping to get a job that I can do soon but time will tell.

There's just so much constantly on my mind and nowhere to put it, and at the core of it it's not just me hating myself for the mistakes I've made and could continue to, it's also just that I've started to hate my bubblyness, my passion, the level of emotion I feel no matter the emotion, and in the end being alive with the personality and cocktail of disorders I was given. I don't know if when I heal I will even love myself thereafter. I don't know if healed me will still be considered very talkative, I don't want to be annoying or even very talkative, and I have so much to say. I don't think I could ever find people who match this level of energy either I just don't. And I can't bear to keep existing this way with only people around me who would eventually grow tired of my high energy, I don't know if other people I could be friends with exist, I also haven't fully opened the gates to anyone I know rn but beeb and a little to the pl00g bc he's chill and a good friend. But even he mentally goes "okay that's enough slices" when I talk and I know it. Like, idk what to do hahahahaahahah.

Anyways since this is going to my secondary instead, now to make food I don't want and food for babe and then after I'll sit in party silently playing stardew, hearing him have fun talking a storm with his friends. And when we get done with the day, bc we don't have bud to go take smoke breaks, we'll talk again while going to sleep, and I'll inevitably talk enough to either interrupt again, or just talk enough to where he asks me to let him sleep, oooooo or I'll show him something while he's in a safe place in game and he will barely glance then immediately start talking to the boys in party and I'll want to kill myself all over again. And I'm tired of that. Need to find a way to communicate that, tried recently, did not work, he did not understand what level of "things that would make me feel like I'm not being heard or being looked at negatively for anything I did vocally that isn't obviously a thing that needs to be angry towards" or whatever wasn't specific enough. It really isn't, but idk what more to add or change to elaborate better. I also have been asking for quality time but we need money for most anything bc even driving to a place we could have a picnic or forage. I like just talking too but like, what is there to talk about. Snuggling makes him fall asleep. And smoking seshes are typically rushed bc he's in lobby for a game his friends are waiting to start. Where at this point do we get to spend time? Meals? He eats while playing at this point, I try but if lots of people are on he doesn't wanna get off or that might not all be back on for a while. And I get that but it's to a point I've almost given up until money isn't an excuse.

Idk I'm just also a little heartbroken because I don't have any clue how to say any of this. I don't know if anything would even change because like I said, what would we do? I don't want to just play games together I want to be present in reality together more often, but we can't do shit when we're broke.

I don't know why I'm still typing anymore honestly. I need to go make us food I don't even want. Don't have any time to cry in the bathroom either bc I have to face babes mom and dad face on upon exit, and they're probably home by now :)

[susiedreemurr2]

welc back, sorry tumblr murdered ur old acc :/

Yeah. I still have my art but my text posts and image memes….RIP

I still got some stuff that I’ll queue later tho so pog ig

It’s so funny tho bc tumblr just like ignores like everyone who harassed ppl ever but then looks at me in my tiny little bubble and goes this one. I want to ban this one.

[lyrebirdswrites]

.doc

[excadrillmoving]

*comes online to reblog like one post and then leaves again*