#Ruby Astari

[rubyastari]

(Ruby Astari)

[yoonkinii]

We Were Human

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Part 4:

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent ascended Astarion from losing himself the only problem? You don’t have a lot of time.

-

Warnings: Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended Astarion, prepare for the worst.

Masterlist

Note(s): For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware.

Thank You.

Sorry this part is so short compared to the previous ones. I had to cut it off at that point or else this part would've been crazy long.

-

It wasn’t long until Astarions breathing returned to normal but even then he was unresponsive. The two of us laid there in complete silence, the echoes of life sounding outside of the tent. My hand wadded through his silver locks, gently tugging out knots that appeared in his nightmarish sleep. He clung to me like a lifeline, his fingers clenching the fabric of my shirt, his nose pressed into the pulse point of my neck. We were lifeless in that moment, neither of us moving or talking, simply laying like entwined corpses. Perhaps we already were corpses when we both changed, my heart stopped as soon as I turned into a spawn and his has been gone for centuries. I didn’t know how long had passed since Astarion had woken up as him but it seemed like enough time to finally break the silence.

“How long has this been happening, Astari?”

The nickname fell from my lips without a second thought. I had rarely ever called him that, not since he ascended for the first time in my other life. If I closed my eyes and thought hard enough, I could still remember the way Astarions body paused above mine, his assault on my lips ceasing. At first, I had thought I made a mistake and it wasn’t until he asked me to repeat it to him over and over. Each time the name fell from my lips, a kiss was pressed against them. 

He was silent for a while and I had begun to think he wasn’t going to answer until his shoulders rose as he inhaled. A very human thing he did when there was no need. I could not judge though, I still did it even though I was already dead. My body couldn’t get rid of that habit and it seems neither could he.

“Ever since I ascended.”

The hand that was running through his hair halted, a pain of worry bolting through me. “What?” I asked breathlessly. The hand that wasn’t running through his hair, cupped the side of his; guiding him to look at me. My lips pinched into a fine line as I gazed at the man I loved with my entire being. His ruby eyes were shrouded in grief and a pain I’ve never known before. His eyes which were once filled with light were now weighed heavy with hidden grief. His carefully articulated mask of contemptment had fallen and I was finally seeing the true extent of his torment. His shoulders were hunched, as though he was trying to close in on himself. 

“Why haven’t you told me this?”

Inhaling sharply, my mouth opened to ask another question at his silence but was halted as Astarion suddenly pulled away from my embrace and began pulling on his boots. Lines of confusion appeared between my brows, “Where are you going? We need to talk about this.” 

“We do not need to talk about anything.” Astarion responded through a clenched jaw. He stood and on instinct, I grabbed onto the hem of his tunic, 

“Wait-”

“Let go of me.” He said sharply, “I do not need or want to talk about it. You have been told everything you need to know.”

He didn’t wait for my reply before he exited the tent, leaving me alone. My lips quivered, the familiar burning sensation of frustrated tears brimming my eyes. 

“Gods dammit.” My voice sounded into the air. I was all too familiar with this scene, he did it when he was a spawn. He closed himself off, a defense mechanism he could never part with. It wasn’t him pulling away from me that made the cold grip of anxiety take hold, it was his voice. At that moment, it was not Astarions but his voice commanding me once more. Demanding that I obey, that I bend at his will no matter what. 

I inhaled deeply, settling back into the makeshift bed Astarion had set out. My mind wandered into the deep and darkest recess of my mind. Digging up a past or rather my future if I didn’t change it, searching for anything that could help me- that could guide me. Flashes of pain that stretched from physical to mental flashed across my mind and it was all for naught. I stared at the place that was once filled with Astarions presence, wondering what I should do next. Of  course I wanted to wallow in fear and hide from my other part of my damned soul but what could that do? I would just let him become a victim to become someone that isn’t him.

Do you even know who he is? Who he truly is?

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the thought away as I turned to face the opposite direction of where Astarion was laying. Regardless of all the ‘what if’s’ and ‘whys’ that ran rampant in my mind, I forced myself to lay still and keep my eyes shut until the comforting silence of sleep took over.

-

There was a buzz in the air and it wasn’t just from the bugs calling to each other with the sun beating down on them. The trek to the goblin camps was silent. Astarion didn’t return to the tent last night and I didn’t have the courage to start an argument right when I needed to focus on fighting goblins. Goblins wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the sheer number they gather in. While they were gathered by several higher ups that actually knew how to strategies, they were harmless without someone to lead them. 

“Do you always walk so loud, my dear?”

I blinked, casting Astarion a sideways glance, “Do you always have the need to storm off when we should communicate?”

Astarions lips quirked into a small frown, “I didn’t see the need to discuss anything.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes as I walked through the dense forest- suddenly self conscious about the way I walk. It was no surprise Astarion thought I was heavy footed since he was a rouge that lived most of his life slinking in the shadows. Being a sorceress did not require being silent and hiding in the shadows, not when I could easily cast spells that could injure people efficiently. There was a time when Karlach, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart tried teaching me something else other than spells. They claimed that relying on the weave was too risky since I was constantly fighting. They tried their best but the most I could grasp was how to wield a dagger. While Lae’zel grumbled about ‘sorcerers being unreliable in combat’ under her breath, Karlach and Shadowheart deemed it enough. Shadowheart said I would be alright as long as I knew how to stab someone with something sharp. 

Even though his talents were needed more than anything- anyone could swing a blade and hurt someone regardless if it was on purpose or not- no one could grasp how he walked so silently through any terrain. Even now, with all the fallen leaves, bramble, and branches littering our path, I couldn’t hear a single step. Where I had to concentrate to walk softly (which was useless since I would end up  making noise anyway) he did it with ease. 

Astarion stopped for a moment and I froze, looking around to see if there was anything nearby that would have made him stop. He angled his head, tilting it as if he was trying to listen better. Wordlessly, he turned on his heel and started walking in another direction. I moved to follow him but he looked at me over his shoulder, 

“I think it’s best if we separate.”

I gave him a wary look, hands coming to rest on my hips, “What? Why?”

“Do I really have to explain everything to you?” He replied through a clench jaw, his gaze hard as he looked at me. 

My jaw fell slack, looking at Astarion as if he wasn’t real and standing before me.

“Are you serious right now? I have no idea why you are so angry at me when all I wanted to do was help.” I replied roughly, face pinched into annoyance. I knew I shouldn’t be pushing his buttons, not when he was still the same person that tortured me time and time again. He wasn’t the Ascended Vampire I was familiar with but he would turn into him if I didn’t help him properly. I could either be pushing him towards losing himself or pulling him away and I had no idea if arguing with him was helping. 

“You dare speak to me like that? Like you are not beneath me.”

My whole body tensed. I knew that voice, it haunted my dreams and lurked in my memories. Astarion- no, he stalked towards me. His body was full of grace but I knew every bone in his body craved for violence, to breath in the taste of pain that would soon coat the air. I stumbled back, feets getting caught in the uneven floor of the forest. My back thudded against a tree and I watched with fear blown eyes as he came closer until we were chest to chest. His eyes met mine and I forced them to look away, to peer straight at his chest. There was no rise and fall of his chest, there was no warmth to his skin, Astarion was him and I had no idea how to handle it. 

I flinched slightly as his hand ran through my hair ever so gently. My jaw clenched tightly, I was surprised my teeth didn’t shatter. My eyes snapped shut as his face got closer, his lips whispering against the skin of my cheekbone. 

“Oh Darling,” He said lowly, his voice a rumble in his chest. “Look at me.” Suddenly, his hand yanked my head back harshly by the hair at the nape of my neck. I yelped, pain bursting through my skull. Instinctively, I grabbed hold of his wrist, looking at him with fear driven eyes. He tutted his lips, a mocking pout playing on his lips, “What ever should I do with you” he questioned himself, his words whispered against my skin. 

“Should I leave you here on the brink of death, leave you just alive enough to remain conscious to feel your body piercing itself together? Or should I take away the privilege of allowing you to withstand the sun? Maybe then you will learn to appreciate the kindness I have shown you.” 

His threats left their icy marks in my heart. Fear invaded my senses, my breathing harsh and rapid which was ridiculous. My lungs did not need air but the notion still forced me to spiral. 

“Please, Astarion.” I stuttered meekly, the grip I had on him tight but it didn’t do anything to deter him. It probably felt like nothing on him. He raised a white brow towards me, his head angling to the side. Without a word, he yanked my head back further, forcing me to crane my neck at a painful angle. 

“You are talking to a vampire ascendant. I am a God and you,” He bit out, “Are nothing.” His face was passive, no lines of emotions on his beautiful features. Sunlight shined down on him, his lashes almost a blinding white. How could something be so beautiful and cruel at the same time. How could my dead heart only feel alive when it was around him.

“I-I’m sorry, Lord Astarion.” 

It was easy to revert back into the mold I was taught how to fit into. It was easy to obey and beg for forgiveness. I felt many emotions at that moment but I mostly felt annoyed at how right he was. He was something while he was my everything. Only through him I was safe from the sun, safe from the bloodlust, but I wasn’t safe at the same time. I wasn’t safe from my very own savior. 

I was so frustrated that tears bubbled my eyes, blurring my vision. I felt my throat tighten, the familiar pain of sobs wanting to erupt coming unwelcome. I didn’t want to cry, it was the last thing I wanted to do but the sense of helplessness was too overbearing. I had forgotten what it felt like to be in love with a monster. To him I was nothing, but he was my everything. All I was his spawn, a thing that is used to please him and nothing more. I had forgotten what it felt like to be looked at not as a person but an object. 

Abruptly, he pulled away like my skin burned him. He flung himself away so hard that he collided into a tree across from me. I stood there frozen, watching as my lungs heaved in relief. I blinked back the unfallen tears, running my hands through my own hair as though to take away the taint of his harshness off my being. 

Astarion was leaning on the trunk, his hand gripping his chest like he meant to tear out his own heart. I gulped, swallowing my own shame and taking a step forward. It did not matter how scared I was. This was not normal and I had to figure out why. At the sound of my step Astarion flinched, his downcasted gaze meeting mine. I inhaled a sharp breath at the sight of the man who threatened to leave me to die here only seconds before look at me with such fear. Astarion stumbled away, his skin clammy with sweat and glinting in the rays of sun. 

“Stay away.”

His voice was so soft that it strained my eyes to hear him. My eyes narrowed in confusion. He suddenly looked like an animal that was cornered. He coward away from me, every small step I towards home resulted in him shuffling away as if moving away pained him. 

“Astarion,” I said as gently as I could even with anxiety choking me. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Astarion doubled forward like an imaginary force hit him from behind. He gritted his teeth, his own fangs piercing into the sensitive flesh of his bottom lip. Droplets of blood bubbling from the small wounds. Sweat dripped down his brow, into his eye causing him to blink harshly. He glanced at me with pain narrowed brows, mumbling,  “I’m sorry” before he abruptly stumbled away disappearing into the dense forest. 

I stood in shock for longer than I would have liked. My mind paralyzed with shock as it witnessed something it’s never seen before. This had never happened before, the way he was present one moment before disappearing another. I quickly gathered my thoughts, running through the memories of my ‘past’ life to account how Astarion was after he returned from this expedition by himself. He returned with nothing other than himselfs even though he left with a vast amount of supplies just in case. He only had one thing with him and it was himself covered with blood that wasn’t his. It was only then that the first instance of what people knew as Astarion began to diminish. He smiled less, got irritated more often, the lines of emotion on his face began to fade. He loved me less and wanted me more. He was shorter with me, not wanting to explain his decisions to me no matter how much I pleaded. He wasn’t him yet but he was starting to become him. 

This could only mean one thing, something happened during his time handling the goblin camp that no one was able to witness or stop him from doing. And going off with what just happened, it hasn’t happened yet- if going off I was going off the previous interactions we’ve had. 

I swallowed the lump of nerves building in my throat down, determination filling my veins. I had to find Astarion before whatever happened in the past happens in the present. Even if it kills me. The only problem is, tracking him would almost be impossible since he was always soft footed and careful of his tracks. I only had one thing to go off of and that was the direction he ran in- to a place I knew would be there. A Goblin Camp. 

[captainlilyuniverseworld]

Worth the Wait

Based on the request by @vr53 who asked for Gale proposing to Astarion and Astarion's feelings leading up to the moment thinking back on their relationship.

Happy reading! ❤️

Worth the Wait

“What’s this?” Gale looked at the small box Astarion had put on the table in front of him. 

“Why don’t you open it and find out,” Astarion sat on the edge of the table and nudged it towards him. “Go on. I had it made especially for you.” 

Gale put down his fork and moved his plate aside before picking up the box and untying the red ribbon he’d put around it. It was small and when he opened it, inside was a ring. A gold band with a ruby center and diamonds on either side of the gem. 

“I…”

“I’ve been so busy with work that I realized I have neglected the most important thing to me,” Astarion reached over and tucked some of Gale’s hair behind his ear. “My wonderful consort.”

Gale managed a small smile. “It’s beautiful Astarion really, but I...it’s a bit much, isn’t it?” 

“Nonsense,” Astarion plucked the box from his hands and took out the ring. “How else are people going to see that you’re mine?” 

He took Gale’s hand and slid the ring onto Gale’s finger, pleased with himself. “Ah, perfect fit. I was worried I’d have to have it resized, I guessed a bit on the measurement. And you want to know the best part?” 

“Everyone knows I’m yours?” Gale asked. 

“I’ve had it enchanted,” Astarion answered as he squeezed Gale’s hand. “The only way it comes off is if I take it off or you did something foolish like cut your finger off…”

Foolish...yes…

****

“Gale? Darling?” Astarion shut the door behind him as he walked into the palace and took off his coat. 

It’d been a longer than long day and all he wanted to do was have a nice soak with Gale. A little snack and fall asleep with his mage wrapped up tight in his arms. He walked into the main room and saw his office door was closed. 

He didn’t hear any sound coming from inside. He checked the kitchen next, sometimes when the mage got a bit antsy he’d do a bit of cooking, but it was empty. He knew it about midweek which meant Gale would have been out in Rivington that day but usually he was home by that point. 

“Gale?” Astarion called out. “If you wanted to play hide and seek it’s a good idea to let the other party involved aware of the game.”

He started down the hall leading towards the doors that led out to the garden when they opened of their own accord and Gale paused like a deer seeing a hunter. Astarion eyed him curiously. 

His heart rate had sped up briefly upon seeing Astarion before it steadied itself. There were dirt stains on the knees of his pants. His hair pulled back into a messy bun with a few silver strands framing his face. 

“You're home,” Gale blinked as if his brain was catching up and then he smiled and shut the door behind him as he walked over to greet Astarion. “Welcome home love.”

“What were you doing out there this late?” Astarion looked between Gale and the door leading to the backyard. 

“Hmm? Oh nothing really, taking care of some weeds,” Gale answered. “I was on my way in to clean up.”

“Well, allow me to be of service,” Astarion snaked his arm around Gale, steering the man towards the staircase. 

Gale freshened up first while Astarion got the bath ready. Not too hot, he may have been able to withstand the scalding temperature of the water but Gale was only human. It wouldn't do to burn his skin. 

He got in first letting out a pleased groan as the water soothed his muscles and held out his hand to Gale once his mage had undressed and walked over. He leaned back against Astarion and shivered as he hugged him tight to his chest. 

“How was your day?” Gale turned his head slightly to look at Astarion. 

“Hardly worth thinking about,” Astarion answered and stroked Gale’s chest. “I swear I might be the only one with a brain on that council.” 

“You are intelligent,” Gale agreed. “Though I admit I’m surprised you haven’t tried to charm any of them.” 

“There’s still time,” Astarion titled his head back and closed his eyes. “How was your day my love?” 

“Mundane,” Gale shrugged and Astarion listened to the sound of the water sloshing in the tub and felt the mage moving around before settling once more in his lap, knees on either side of him and then fingers running up and down his chest. 

They moved upwards towards his throat, and he groaned pleased as Gale squeezed the nape of his neck massaging the sides with his fingers. 

“You really are magic,” Astarion sighed. 

“I was thinking…” Gale started. 

“Dangerous,” Astarion teased. “You’re far too pretty to think.”

Keep Reading

[lewdforged]

Pinned.

The lewd blog of @ancientforgcd and where most NSFW stuff is going to happen. More or less just the smut stuff. This is the pinned, so I'll also be adding the rules here.

The muse list is the same here as over on Ancientforgcd, with the obvious clause of no underage muses, as well as some exclusive Sinblog Muses:

Astaris

More to come.

Rules

Do not follow if you're under the age of 21. Every coutnry has different rules and I rather not get in trouble because your minor ass followed me.

This blog will mainly active on Sundays, unless I feel extra horny on off-days like monday or Saturday for example.

This blog has both Yaoi, Yuri and Futanaris, especially the latter, cuz Ruby, Blair, Kiana and co have fat cocks.

I'll be posting plenty of lewd pics and they won't be tagged. This is just straight up a smut nsfw blog, so when you follow, you know what you're getting into.

Finally, I'll reserve the right to answer and not answer asks as I see fit.

Thank you for reading all of these rules.

[immers3d]

デーモンAstari 

[rubyastari]

(Ruby Astari)My personal heartbreak anthem ... 

[rubyastari]

Just me making noise ...

[rubyastari]

(Ruby Astari)

[rubyastari]

(Ruby Astari)

[rubyastari]

From The Audience: Watching Hoobastank @Everblastfest 2023

Okay, so who attended Everblastfest 2023 from March 4 – 5 last weekend? I hope you did and you got the chance to see my favourite band, Hoobastank, who performed at 10 pm last night.

I know. I have to put the word ‘favourite’ there, so you know this is a review from a fan. I’ve been following them since the early 2000s and I’m amazed to see that they’re still going strong. I know that, because I’ve attended their previous three concerts everytime they visited Jakarta.

Their performance last night was no different. Singer Doug Robb was still cheerful, energetic, and funny. I cracked up when he made a joke about girls not wearing the right shoes for the concert. (“Ahem, excuse me, Mr.Robb. I’m not on my stilettos tonight!” Hehe.) By the way, I love the pink hair colour!

Guitar player Dan Estrin was still cool. Drummer Chris Hesse was still powerful (and this time, I could take a little better snapshot of him while they were on stage.) Doug announced the happy news: Their bass player Jesse Charland couldn’t play for the show, because he’s back home to be present for the birth of his child. Congratulations, Jesse. I hope you, your wife, and your baby are all healthy and well. You are still missed, though.

The bass player filling in for Jesse is Dave Amezcua. Thank you for filling in for Jesse and it was a job well done.

They started the show with “Same Direction”, from their second album “The Reason”. Then Doug greeted us the audience for a while before they went on with “Born To Lead”, one of my favourite songs from their third album “Every Man For Himself”.

It was also the very first time for me to see them perform “No Destination” live. I nearly cried with joy! That song is from their album “Fight Or Flight”. “No Destination” has a personal meaning to me, reminding me of my past struggles and my lonely late night out on the road so many times before.

I instantly recognised Dan’s guitar intro even before “Running Away” started. This song is from their self-titled album. I could hear the whole crowd chant in unison: “So, why are you running awaaay ... ?”

After that, they cranked up our energy once again with “Just One”, followed by “Let It Out” and “Never There” (all from the album “The Reason”). As if we weren’t hyped enough, Hoobastank continued with “My Turn” (from their album “For(N)Ever”).

I felt like returning to my 20s when they played “Remember Me” (also from their self-titled album). They went on with “Inside Of You” (from the “Every Man For Himself” album) and “Pieces” (from their self-titled album). After that, they played “Out Of Control” (from their “The Reason” album).

“The Reason” – of course – was the song that many had waited for. Doug asked all of us audience to turn on the flashlight of our phones and raised them up. We all sang along with him throughout this beautiful, timeless ballad.

Hoobastank ended their part of the show with “Crawling In The Dark” (also from their self-titled) album. All in all, the playlist was perfect to crank up our energy. The vibe was just right.

Thanks so much, guys, for playing for us once again. I hope to see you on your next shows ... some other time ...

Love,

Ruby Astari