#SAD. but whateverr i like it ^_^

[otherbug]

love writing conceptually. hate writing textually.

[hazmatazz]

new ask game, just compliment me

[maddestmewmew]

ive only had boone for 10 of the 12 straight hours of fallout nv i just played but i would and Have die for him

[ibunyang]

pirate au go brr. sorry quick lore drop about this au

so it starts with moleswift(DUH...) as pirates they were first mate and his captain (swifts) captain, they were probs looking for something to make them immortal idk fountain of youth pirates of the Caribbean core, they find it they drink from the fountain and mike dies almost instantly compared to norton and he has to get traumatized to see him die in his arms

Norton realizes he is immortal under the full moon like he's full skelly under the light, so he's just actually a dead man walking. Mike's dead tho but he gets another form of immortality (constant reincarnation)

Anyway, norton and every iteration of Mike throughout 500 years

< soul and sparrow - i think this was his ronald of ness era where he was still trying to hide the fact he was immortal so he kept changing his identity, the first ever time he met another mike that found in a barrel at like 19 years old.. maybe idk, sparrow grew part of his Golden Rose crew, during the whole time… and mike looked up to him as his captain.. until smth more… Ronald projected swifts the most on sparrow, and honestly ended up having to leave him when sparrow was realizing that norton wasnt aging at all since they met, he had to leave him bc he was having an existential crisis about being immortal and not aging at all anymore no matter how he tried to hide or ignore it, so he left sparrow (and the crew, basically fakes his own death.) this is when he just embraces his immortality at this point, after being kind of a recluse for a while

< cocoa and soul - maybe 100 years after sparrow, and hes given up trying to fake his identity, he has the face paint and everything, hes mostly known as soul now.. cocoa is the owner of an inn and he meets him every time he docks at his towns port, hes nice to him kind.. much softer than sparrow or swifts, but still as cocky and confident in himself (he notes that this mike smokes) cocoa lets him stay over whenever he wants to (hes trying not to get attached to this mike , so hes thankful for the fact that hes not a pirate or a sailor, just someone he can come home to any time, his light house per say.) he didnt have to do a painful goodbye with him, just a letter and the occasional sack of gold and jewels to spoil his favorite chef.

<pomegranate mike, and soul honestly pomegranate was probably part of a traveling merchant boat that got destroyed at sea, luckily souls crew was around to fish them out of the water, this mike tho wasnt interested in anything that he had to offer preferring the life of being free with his guild at sea or anywhere, he loved to entertain but staying with soul probably felt like a cage. he probably asked soul to take them to the nearest port, hes was a nice equally fun mike, but wasnt interested or too scared to commit to soul. (Wahh da one that got away) soul respects him, of course, but it cant be denied he was hurt over this. and he grew a little bitter because of it.

<cunning and soul.. - at this point 300 years passed already…pomegranate was the last mike he found and he didn't stay with him long and let him go without fighting because thats mikes choice man WHATEVER anyway, this is nortons sad emo boy era or as i like calling it weezer norton era. he became relentless, ruthless and his name was known through the seas, hes travelled the world at this point and his immortality has never failed him yet. he learned magic from patricia at one point, and now he has a crew of ghosts he necromanced into life to man his ship,- really kicking up the visuals in my head here but he has a literal ghost ship, its a physical ship but everyone on board is probably a ghost or a zombie (WHATEVERR MY AU MY WORLD BUILDING I SAY THEY EXIST.) anyway (onepiece reference i guess) when he saw cunning in one of the meetings for idk pirates or smth, tagging along with hollow (also a pirate bitch on his ass for the past years hes annoying as hell), he ws down right pISSED. (he hasnt seen a single mike reincarnation in 300 years, hes tried sleeping around getting over him, but NOTHING really compares to his soulmate.)

BUT anyway basically, in this au Hollow is looking for Alice (eternity whatever) and Soul knows where she is so he makes a bargain, he'll give Hollow Alice in exchange he gives him of of his most trusted men. (Points at cunning.) IF he gives him Alice in a pretty little bow for him, he can have cunning for himself.

Cunning is like "pft. Yeah right. You're not gonna find her before we do." And soul is just smiling (horny depressed and has been blue balled for years at this point, u don't know what this guy can do) so he just smiles.

Hollow, surprisingly agrees. "OKAY if u find her before we do I'll give my end of the bargain." Cunning is a little upset at this, but he's determined he'll find Alice before soul. (eermmm)

Soul wasn't lying about knowing where Alice was tho, so he kidnaps her and takes her to hollow. Like a sack of potatoes.

"Gimme gimme." smth like that and mike is so distraught about this he's crying, verbatim; " I don't want to be that bag of bones property- I'm not property " but he's already at souls shoulder and he's kicking and screaming. He's such a bitch in this au I LOVEE BITCH ASS CUNNING WHINEY WHORE. nortons kind of an ass here and hes sort of using him as a way to distress the last 300 years away. Before he spoils him with everything hes gotten (for mike.)

So it's just rough hostage core treatment for the first couple of months until he starts using the money he's been hoarding on mike to spoil him.

But anyway, after cunning dies in idk when, 🤷‍♂️anyway when he dies kay the next one and final one is quinlan, he's an immortal vamp/witch and hes the only mike who remembers every mike reincarnations memories, he knows that soul is out there looking for him but he doesn't care about that rn, in this life he's looking for his mom, and ignoring souls horny whale calling in the back of his mind until they inevitably cross paths BEC they are SOULLMATESS AUGRGRHSHAHAGGZ In my head the way they meet went like this "Mole."

soul looking at him in surprise bec ever since someone misheard his name being soul and he grew tired of correcting people its mole, he hasn't heard that name in years. he wasn't even sure if this was his Mike, he doesn't have the blue eyes he used to have they were more green/gold… and each mike he's met always had swifts eyes. So thats why he's like emo. Do u get it anyway, this is their reunion in the middle of an pub that cocoa bean used to run, they standing in front of each other and quin almost looks too relaxed when their EYEESS MEEETTT FUCKKK anyway, "Swift?" and theres just that LOOK thats unmistakably mikes on his face that mole just couldnt help but take him into his arms like a the sad depressed man he is. They kiss and they start sailing together forever until they turn to ashes.

THE ENDD

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

i don’t really see canon “the prank” to be “attempted murder” but i find the idea that wally & orion are proud of sirius for almost killing a half blood to be funny(or alternatively disappointed that snape didn’t actually die)

!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY yeah uhh i have Thoughts on the prank. i dont think it was attempted murder either bc snape is pretty smart and sirius knows that, i think he assumed snape would catch sight of the werewolf and leave bc he got piss scared .

ummm yes so wally and orion right . obv parents get involved (snape's, sirius' & remus') (no one finds out remus is a werewolf though ofc) and sirius gets off scot free (basically scott free) because ykyk Black family and i hc he comes home that christmas (bc angst <3) and walburga's like awe my baby boy's finally coming back to me <333 good job on trying to get rid of that filthy half breed sweetie pie <3333 too reckless but it doesnt matter !! awe whyre you so sad youll get him next time ill help <33333

walburga is clinically insane btw

orion is just dreading seeing more of sirius but he's impressed but hes also a motherfucking DICK so hes just like . ofc you failed . stupid mf.

god i need sirius to punch the fuck out of him.

whateverr basically sirius wallows in the feeling of im just like them ☹️💔 & walburga is ENTHRALLED & orion is mildly impressed

oh and also random regulus thing hes worried bc sirius is Bitchy but hes also a bastard little brother so he just annoys sirius the whole christmas break but it actually works ! because sirius comes back to hogwarts and thinks GOD i hate them all 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[sadcabbages]

idk man does hfjone just not make me miserable bc im optimistic or something? or just confused, or both? im just thinking on things. like. for some reason tnm made me genuinely sob. but i dont even get that heartache from hfjone?? but again i could just be interpreting it in an optimistic way. or maybe i just dont have a tendency to get affected by media like that whateverr

goat emoji

I mean, same

I think the thing is that you're more...shocked by the hfjone ending. It happens so suddenly. Airy just 🫰dies. Just like that. We're not expecting it. We were expecting Liam to negotiate with Airy and get everyone sent back but we didn't expect it to just...end. It's intentional. If ONE is a commentary on object shows, the ending is a commentary on how they so often get abandoned by the creators without another word said.

The Nightly Manor gives you a shocking ending, but then goes deeper and you witness the fallout of that ending. You see tophat and notepad grieve, and spraypaint in hospital from the explosion (probably also grieving, still homeless). And then you see what it was like for Tophat and GPS before the whoe fiasco happens, they were happy, GPS still had so much to live for and the whole trio (file, tophat and GPS) loved each other so much that it's not only tragic that GPS died, but died in such a way that their friends think he was some murderer all along. There's also music, which makes you really sad when listening to. Also The Nightly Manor has the prom dance scene

[androreblogs]

12. Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why? For all 4 of them

I do have a playilst yeas :]

For elva and toka:

For Jason and Aubrey ( ignore i diff names i havent changed em yet lol)

For elva i associate togsang by moddi. I dont really know why, i suppose its just the atmosphere that kinda fits? Like the vibes are right.

For toka i associate maya's valse. It feels like something that would play over an aesthetic introductory shot of her brushing the porch free of leaves as she hums in tune to the song yaknow.

Jason and aubrey actually share a song :D wusyaname by tyler the creator. Specifically the lyric "im about to go to war. I dont know if ill ever see you again" being sung by a lass since aubrey gets drafted

Also an honorary mention to "love you like an alchoholic" for kickstarting my obsession with jason and aubrey :3 the dynamic isnt quite right since its a versy sad song but whateverr

[polychrrome]

novemberr 4th, 2023 / saturrday / 9:37 p.m.

deprression (orr whateverr this is!) kind of feels like someone attached little weights to the bottom of my feet. it’s harrd to walk sometimes. i have to drrag myself wherreverr i go. it feels like someone attached a carr batterrry to my testicles. not fun!

sometimes i feel betterr than otherr times. i can still be happy. but sometimes i feel rreally rreally fucking sad forr no apparrent rreason.

my mind is a carrousel i can’t get off of!

i’m stuck at the top of a ferrris wheel and i want to jump off, even if it means brreaking myself or death. that’s sorrt of what sui ideation feels like forr me. the best analogy my sleepy mind can think of rright now. i assume it differrs forr everryone.

parrt of me wants to stay up herre in the ferrris wheel though, wherre nobody can rreach me.

[latinokaeya-moving]

i’m sure there’s a lot of stuff out there that uses the idea of cannibalism symbolically and i’m sure it’s very cool but i’m unfortunately soooo squeamish LMAOOOO

[scatterbrainedart]

Found a recorded performance of the Frankenstein musical and so naturally I have more thoughts to share about it

(Sort of a continuation on this post)

Like I've said before, the changes they make from canon in the musical always serves a very real purpose for the sake of the medium they're telling the story in, like the origins of the creature. Because, they'd have to have just one guy play him so it makes sense, and I really like how they executed it. It's made in such a way that it doesn't feel out of place at all, or jarring, as some adaptive changes very much can. So that's very exciting!! But it does, however, make him even more tragic. So, ouch.

This part. Just very fun lyrically. The condemned man asking for his creator (God) to claim him before he dies, and then after his execution, Victor does. So simple yet so effective. I love this musical. (Also just the rest of that line as well. The man accepts his death, only wishing for his cruel life to be over. Despite that, Victor continues and prolongs it, and consequently only fills it with more pain and suffering. Will not analyse and reflect on the "I'll trust in you" bit of the line as I believe that would cause me to implode. Thank you for your understanding)

Whoever decided that the same instrumental would play for Your Father's Eyes and Amen (Reprise), I HATE YOUUU. I AM IN SHAMBLES. Not only did they have the line "Forgive this foolish father" in there, but the fucking parallel itself of Victor's father reassuring him vs Victor seeking the creature's grace is gonna be the end of me. Genuinely. I am so so weak for family dynamics, this is NOT fair.

So far I have not found a single Frankenstein adaptation that doesn't do Henry Clerval outrageously dirty. People just hate friendships fr. I get that they change him for drama reasons, and to make him less like the other characters (since they all pretty much serve the same purpose, and therefore interact with Victor the same way. Changing some of them to interact differently with him adds some more dynamic to it all, which I do understand but it still annoys me). Henry absolutely adores him, and more importantly respects and wholeheartedly trusts him. Henry's death plays for the same reason as all the other deaths in the story: to hit Victor where it hurts and further fuel his grief and anger. Which, again, I get why you'd want more drama out of it. But the Clerval slander, man D: The slander.

Where are the adaptations with an overly affectionate Clerval?? The Clerval who cares for Victor in sickness and in health without asking any questions whatsoever, the Clerval who would rather be next to his best friend on his absolute lowest possible point than with strangers who lift him up indefinitely??? The Clerval who is always there when he's allowed, but respects Victor's wishes for the contrary when asked???? WHERE are the adaptations in which Clerval's trusting nature and his affections towards Victor is what makes him the creature's target??????? That CAN make good drama if you're not a COWARD. Oh yes, family bonds broken from the death of William, tragic. Oh no the loss of his romantic love in Elizabeth, how sad. But his friendship with Clerval?? Eh, just do whatever seems the most interesting. It's basically a gap to be filled with anything, really (/s). And, I mean, it could be. And I get it. But every goddamn time?? Friendships aren't boring dynamics. They have just as much love and pain as romantic and familial bonds, again, if you're not a coward. That is my main critique, because they really didn't need to do that honestly. But eh, whateverr, it's finee, I'm coolll. I just wish people would just let men be pals more often. Just let em be bros. Pls.

Anyway. The creature's origins also ties really well into how Victor would get his materials for the female version, since in the musical that whole bit is directly after Justine's trial (and the fem creature is played by her actress, at least in the version I watched, which seems reasonable).

Hm. I wonder if there was a time skip in there. Coulda been since the trial is in very end of act 1 and The Modern Prometheus is first thing in act 2, so the break could have functioned as a time skip I suppose. But if not, that would mean all of his guilty moping, which passed that time in between, in the book, wouldn't have happened in the musical version. Not even off-screen. Which does add up, I suppose, since I complained last time about how that whole portion of the story being overlooked by The Modern Prometheus anyway. Could expain why he was surprisingly easy to convince to make a second attempt at creating life. He wasn't quite as regretful, and the dream hadn't been dead for quite as long. Huh. Well I guess that doesn't matter then. Fair enough.

This specific performance of the musical painted Victor as this particularly selfish, pathetic little man and I'm kinda obsessed. I mean, obviously he kinda is in the book as well, but they really went all out. Especially on this one part (during The Proposition, I think) where the creature just grabs him by the collar, almost lifts him up and then throws him on the ground. Such a small little man. A little guy but slash neg. Short guy energy, but filled to the brink with self righteousness and the aspirations of greatness, mostly just for the sake of greatness. Very hubris indeed (especially as he clearly clings onto that hope of greatness, as showed in The Modern Prometheus). I mean he has enough empathy to feel human and real but man is he a little freak. That's almost peak blorbo material right there.

Also, the musical honestly drove home the theme of hubris better to me than the book did. Like, it was obviously prominent in the book as well, but Frankenstein's hubris in that only lasted for around a quarter of it at most. Then the rest of it was him just cursing himself for it in silence and hoping the world would just take him out of his misery already. Which is also peak blorbo material. But, a musical wouldn't have executed that particular well I don't think, so what they ended up doing was great. Again, adaptations whose main changes are made in favour of the medium are the best kinds of adaptations. The ones that preserve a lot of the story, or emphasize parts of it, while adapting it to fit their way of storytelling. The musical is one of those. It's pretty close to the book but most importantly it conveys the same ideas, shares the same vibes and tells the story of a longwinded book in such a way that it feels as if it always was a musical. And that, in my oh so humble opinion, is what makes it so good.

But ah. Oof. The ENDING. Alright, so- there was a lot of context to stuff that didn't quite land with me until I actually watched the thing, and the ending was one of those. Is it accurate to the book? No. Is it GREAT? I mean, that's a matter of taste, but I would definitely say so. But then again, I am weak to family dynamics. See, I didn't realise The Coming of The Dawn was practically just Victor having a parental epiphany. So you mean to tell me he travelled to the arctic in a haze of rage, and then that all that anger shimmered down into grief somewhere within that fatigue and exhaustion, and he kept going only to apologise on his deathbed?

Ah. Hahahah. Haha.

Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm good. Especially with how the creature reacted to it, assuming to find his creator in the midst of the cold, forstbitten and crawling his way forwards with nothing but the desperation of revenge. Assuming to find hate and violence, and instead finding a grieving father using his last breath to seek forgiveness where he already knows there might be none. I'm especially fine with how caught off guard the creature is at that, not really sure how to handle that emotion, that sudden, unfamiliar softness. And then the regret seeping in, the grief upon gaining all he truly wanted (his father's love) and losing it just as quickly. And it was his fault, and it was too late to take it back (HMMMM parallels. Victor almost,, turns their dynamic upside down in a way).

Frankenstein still comes to a sort of peace of mind at the end of the book, but not asking forgiveness. He asks Walton to continue his hunt for the creature even. It may not be passionatly said, but it's still his dying wish. That "yeah I'd appreciate to see him wiped off the face of the earth but also, I get that it's kind of a big thing to ask of someone so I wouldn't blame you if you didn't". Then the creature comes, after his death, and talks some of his own sincere thoughts before running off with Victor to die somewhere (which, I would assume, is what These Hands have drawn inspiration from and just moved around. Which is wonderful. It flows better that way anyhow). It's totally not heartbreaking at ALL, I'm FINE, I'm GOOD.

Ahhg. And then the Workings of The Heart parallels and instrumental. Fucking hell. I could go on about that, I feel, but again. Gonna refrain from that as I would probably implode if I were to try.

Victor in the musical goes from being far more selfish and hubris-inflicted than book!Victor, to being empathetic enough to beg at the feet of the murderer of all his friends and family, for grace. Book!Victor is a lot more steady in his emotional journey in comparison (which really does say something), and both versions are great. Ahhg, the musical is such a masterpiece. Honestly.

Alright. As a reward for reading all of that, he's the links to act 1 and act 2, the version I watched, in case y'all wanna watch them too. The expressions and emotions are definitely the highlight :)

[ackermanshoe]

So since I became a rivamika anti ( que my bio ) I apperently lost my right to speak on rivamika 🙄 but this b!tch @ackermanshoe dared me to post a verryy unbiased and veery angry analysis on

Why "call your name" is about rivamika - from Levi's pov.

Since I failed music in high school I don't know shit about music or anything so it'll be purly based on lyrics ok? Ok

• "Call your name" OST on attack on titan, lyrics I'll be pointing out •

Okay so the first paragraph goes

"she lost her brother a month ago (...) and it reminds me when she brings me coffee..."

So apperently if your a delusional rivamika anti like me you'd go under rivamika posts and comments " oMG leVi iS liKe MikAsA's olDeR bRotHer 🥰" but I have to be honest and say that this is pure bullshit 🙄 or whateveRr. Anyway if you're smart like Ackermanshoe and other rivamika shippers ( 🤢 ) then you probably consider Eren as mikasa's brother because of the way she looks after him, and them essentially being a family after mikasa's actual parents died. So in my unbiased theory I'd have to agree that this song is from Levi's point of view, after the war has ended.

( Oh and thank you @thegloomybrat for telling me about this song it's painful :D I love it ! )

Of course from Levi's point of view Eren would be mikasa's brother or something alike because of their dynamic, like I said before Levi is the reality that Mikasa strays away from and he brings her back.

"and it reminds me"

Here Levi digs deep into the past, recalling all his memories not only Mikasa killing Eren but also the war in general. "When she brings me coffee" OKAY IMMA BE HONEST HERE, even if I am a rivamika anti I have to say this is a freaking dead giveaway like (????!!!) Coffee is basically tea but for people who has no will to live and the one person who drinks tea more than anyone else in the series??? Yeah that's fucking right, it's Levi. Since unlike the entire fandom, I'm a SMART anti I can see this fact with my eyes closed. Hence in the first few lines Levi refers to Mikasa loosing Eren ( a month ago ), then he remembers the past when Mikasa brings coffee ( tea ) to him.

" I wish I could be with her till my last day" ( I'm crying 😭 )

Okay so in this Levi's point of view is clear as fuck, he loves Mikasa and wants to spend the rest of his life by her side. Note: this is the past Levi saying he wished he could stay with her until the end.

"she said she gave all her love to me, we dreamt a new life, some place to be at peace" Levi is probably implying that Mikasa cares about him now. Idk how, after reading this verse ANYONE could even think this is about anyone else but Levi and Mikasa. After all Levi's teashop dream and mikasa's desire to have a family all lead to a peaceful quiet life doesn't it? Mikasa returning to a ordinary girl is also her having a peaceful life. " She said She gave all her love to me' idk about y'all but this gives me hints of some promises, it's such a rivamika thing to do in my opinion.

"I lost my dreams in this disaster"

They BOTH dreams of the same peaceful life, but they both had to let go of what they WANT in order to survive, the disaster that got in the middle is the rumbling.

Now for the chorus

"I'm crying missing my lover.."

Okay so idk if I talked about this enough before so I'll quickly touch on the fact that Levi "doesn't know " why Mikasa is SO attached to Eren is because he is jealous. 😒😒 Yeah okay y'all may have won this but even in my anti rivamika Goggles I can see his surpassed jealousy. THINK about it ? Levi is always on the frame when Mikasa is concerned for Eren and he always somehow breaks their convos it's a low-key thing Levi does but the tension is there. It's like when a newborn child is born and the mother gives all her time to the child because it's her child and the father often gets jealous because of it. No matter how you think about it Levi never had someone care for him in such way, even if it ain't romantic, it's jealosuy in some way or another. From his dead mother to uncle Kenny who left him, to countless deaths of his friends and comrades he had to bare it alone and carry it on his shoulder for so long. He is the definition of being lonely at the top, because of his strength. But not with Mikasa, the care she shows for Eren is unlike any other characters care in the series, in my unbiased opinion ( for the 50th time) Levi wants to be treated the same way. And he knows that Eren doesn't appreciate mikasa nearly enough. And no one better then Levi knowns what it's like to miss love from your life.

And so I have to say that he is missing her although he has been living with Mikasa ( and others ) for so long. Let's not forget that Levi is the most emotional character in the anime so obviously if from his POV he said he was crying missing his lover - being loved by Mikasa and added "I don't have the power on my side forever" he knows his weakness and it makes complete sense lmao. Alluding to "humanity's strongest" everyone thinks you're always strong but the fact Levi is actually emotional which is why he doesn't have the "power on his side forever".

"Oh where is my lover" again I have been saying this man is the most patient thing when it comes to mikasa and this is what I mean.

"I'm standing alone (....) Calling out you're name" so this is me referring to my previous post where I mentioned the unnatural amount of time Levi called mikasa's name through out the whole manga. It's sad but Levi has always been alone hasn't he? Even when he had Erwin and hanji and his old squad he was always a lone man due to his powers, I could see the barrier that his power puts between him and everyone else ( apart from Mikasa ofc). But it's strange because y'all remember Mike ? He was thought to be only 2nd best to Levi and yet he was still not nearly there. Interesting.

This could be a example of what I mean I say he is a lone man. After all his future wife and soulmate is literally busy babying another man right Infront of him ( no wonder he looks pissed of all the time lmao 💀 ).

Finally "calling out your name"

"MIKASA? MIKASA!! MIKASA.."

That was 90% of Levi's lines in the recent chapters lmao. I interpret this as Levi knowing this is the conclusion to Eren and mikasa's story and he knows he is the one who can get Mikasa back to reality. He finally called out her name, it's not even a freaking joke, he was literally calling her name and saying her name to himself ughh. Anyway like I said it's like he has accepted a part of him that he kept hidden for a while and now something new has awakened.

IN CONCLUSION, rivamika shippers kinda won this battle 🙄💔 and but tbh as an anti I have to admit that everybody is so wrong if they think this song is about anyone else but Levi and Mikasa 🤡🤡. It's clearly from perspective of Levi from the future who is remembering the past and his feelings for mikasa during it.

(( This is basically all the lyrics and I can't be bothered with the two different lines in the 2nd verse lmao y'all get the idea that rivamika canon yes? Okay.

Can we normalise using #rivamikacanon everytime we talk about them because 🥵

Thank you all for reading my bullshit analysis once freaking again I love y'all so much it's never r a bad at in rivamika Tumblr 😚😚 I hope this made sense lmao ))

[eedisgirlfriend]

I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH 💛💛💛💛💛💛

Tell us the story of how you and your girlfriend fell in love!!! Pls y’all are so cute

ahhh my favorite thing to talk about! sorry this might get long. we met on bisexual day of visibility 2016 because i identified as bisexual at the time (wild) and siv thirst followed me because of my bi visibility selfies. they tagged them as cute or something and i was very flattered and basically went through all of their blog but was too embarrassed to send a message. they also had a stat counter or whatever so they could see that i went on a little adventure on their blog, yikes.

so fast forward a couple of days and we somehow start talking about our national swedish finals that we happened to have at the same time and we were both waiting for the results. at first i thought they didn’t want to talk more but then somehow we ended up swapping numbers and talking all the time, like literally all day and i was so excited and confused because i had never felt a connection like it before and because my face hurt from all the smiling. of course we had an useless lesbianism element to this story as well because like a week before siv and i met they had posted about a cute karaoke host they had seen so when they started vague posting about a crush they had/a person they were interested in i was convinced it was the host and not me lmao. even though we were both googling like mbti compatibility charts and whatever.

THEN on my 19th birthday (october 8) i was out with some really annoying friends that i’m not in touch with anymore and then we both kind of confessed our feelings and it was. so gay. the most magical moment (even though a friend that had an unrequited crush on me despite me telling him i was not interested repeatedly for years was crying in his bed next to my mattress). the next day we talked on the phone for the first time and it lasted for like four hours? and i kept having butterflies the whole time and god!!!!!! i had such a crush!!!!!

a lot of stuff happened in my personal life but we finally managed to meet in november 2016 and i took a bus to siv’s (and nowadays) my city and it was dark when i arrived and i took me like 4 hours and i was so nervous but then we hugged and i was fine. the first visit was so silly because even though we had been dating for a while we were so awkward around each other ~romantically~ and didn’t know what to do so it took us like 3 days to kiss skksksks. these first visits were so weird because i always stayed for like a week and siv still lived at their mom’s place and we didn’t know if she knew about us (she did) so we were really low profile all the time and had to go out a lot to avoid the adults. it was winter during these visits but i had never felt more safe and warm and i have such good memories from this time. whenever i went home i kept googling stuff like “when can i say i love you” on the bus rkksksks. siv said it first. dang.

this is when i realized it was getting pretty serious because i noticed that we didn’t only have fun together but we were also very good for each other. for example after new year’s we decided to try and go without alcohol for a month and it ended up lasting for more than 6 months and being actually really fun and then we both went vegan and that was even better for my health and life and just!

but to go back a little we had one (1) struggle and that was my job at the junkyard. we had just started to study for our entrance exams (we both got in later) and then my mom let me know that she got me a job in my hometown which meant that for two months we could only see like… once every 2 or 3 weeks and that was only for a weekend too. during that time siv visite my family a lot and it was a sad and tiring time but long distance was okay because we had our long phone calls and skype study sessions and dates (on valentine’s we got sacher cake and watched a movie. great)

then! when my work ended siv had moved into an apartment with their friend and this meant good times for us because i could go over and stay for as long as i wanted and we really got to try out that adult life together. i started to look for apartments too and very quickly got one and it was the best because we finallyyyyyy lived in the same city. this was in april 2017 i think. it ended up being pretty wild because our aparments were at the opposite ends of the city and we never wanted to sleep apart so we had to go back and forth for like a year until we moved into our current place and got our two cats and ahh!!!!! our home is perfect!!!! our cats are perfect!!!!!

that got very. long i’m sorry. i still wanna add that being with siv has helped me so much just to exist better and be calmer and know myself better. actually when we met we were both still kinda awkward because we were babies but now we’re adults and very butch and i don’t think (re)figuring out i was a lesbian would have been this easy without siv so. i just! love them so much!!!!! sorry about the embarrassingly long story fkdkskslsl they’re the loml

[legobatjoker]

btw not to be like. mushhyy or whateverr but i saw a clip of the eras tour and most of the time those make me a ltille sad bc me going feels rly rly unlikely and stuff and im sad abt that but this time i was like !! luce gets to go to that and experience that !! and idk just made my heart very full and stuff :'> ilusm <3

;;;;; ommmmggggggg im sososoo glad that it couldddd!!!!!! truly sosoosoo excited to go and to bring u in a way literallyy ahhhh ilysmmmm

[lilloststray]

haah i relapsed like two hrs ago lol i was at 148 days sh clean (longest ive ever stayed clean) i fucked up ig idk ive been cryint every night for the past 3 days nd im jus ughhh idek

i havent talked to anyone today lol n nobody noticed or is concerned lmao prob cos ive done this a few times before hahahah but its lowkey a cri for help cos im fuckin sad i want rhem to notice but i also dont want them to notife yk anyways since nobody gives a shit ab me see im so dramatic i know they do but ykyk ugghdjsksk WHATEVER WHATEVERR

anyways i started working out since yesterday n im eating less bs so go me ig

omg its 1:11am (dec 16)

- i cant sleep lol

[enthusiasticclouds-sally]

Mun Questionnaire!!!! 

PERSONAL DETAILS

Nicknames? Kiki, Ki, Little One, my co-workers mainly call me little one and it’s to the point where they legit have forgotten my actual name

Where do you live? Waterbury, Connecticuttt but I was born in Manhattan, NYC didn’t move to CT till I was ten

What’s your age? Freaking oldd: 25

Hair color? Right now it’s dark brown with like dirty blonde highlights, probably going to dye it all straight black pretty soon. I constantly change between the two tbh

Eye color? Dark Brown

Height? Jusssstttttt make it to exactly five feet

Date of Birth? August 23rd, 1992 :D

What’s your star sign? Virgo, legit on the day Virgo actually starts!! :DD

Element? Earth  

How many siblings? Two half-brothers: Carlos and Alexander from my dad’s side in where I’m the oldest and the only girl :DD and only child from my mom’s side

How many pets? Noneee, they legit all die on me so I do all animals a favor and just don’t get them as pets. They’d have a longer life without me xD

Obsessions? Skullssss, Disney, my hair because it drives me up the wall if it doesn’t look okay!! It’s bad I know, oh oh and SLEEPING!!! I adore sleeping it is my favorite hobby I can sleep my entire day away and be at bliss

Bad habits? Bite the nails, talk too fast, buying books that I never end up reading, buying clothes that still have their tags on it, procrastinationnnn, picky af eater, impatient. 

Phobias? MICE!!!!!!! I can’t even look at a mouse!!!! I promise you I will stay on top of whatever the freak I climbed on for the ENTIRE day if a mouse ran by I will NOT touch the ground. I will cry, scream, and enter a panic attack!!! No no no no no no no no!!!!

ABOUT YOU

What makes you happy? SLEEPING!!!! Skulls, Disney…. should really just direct you to the obsessions question… but also my laptop, my carrr!!!! Make-up!!! Hoodies, lots and lots of hoodies drown me in hoodiesss. Sunny days but also rainy days, Pokemon haha, my job on some dayss, MY BED, the dark, all of my hundreds of Disney pins, and gosh a lot of things make me happy tbh

What really irritates you? Headaches, being nauseas, stomach aches, snoring I really can’t deal with snoring and have no rational reason as to why… and this is awful but cuddling hahaha I’m just not a cuddling person… I kinda push you off after like a minute xD Residents I really can’t fucking stand our residents. I hate them. Oh!! Can’t forget waiting!! I’m impatient it’s bad, working on it though xD

What makes you sad? Tear-jerkers haha I hate those shits. Ummmmm I’m really not much of a sad person?? I mean I can add mice in here because they make me cry, but like they scare the shit outta me sooooo

What makes you angry? Drivers. Cranky rude-ass ungrateful patients!!! Like I don’t want to have to be dealing with that shit for twelve hours. Talking about patients, my job xD. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. People tbh haha xD I sound mean I swear I’m not!!! The cold, I really do not like being cold at all!! 

What makes you scared? MICE!!!!! I don’t even want to hear about them!! Any of my patients starting to crash even my babies. It’s really not a fun feeling!! Bugs, fuck bugs.

Who is your best friend? That would be Marie I have been friends with her since the end of fifth grade!!! She is also my complete opposite and is perfect at fucking annoying me, but I love herrrr. Sara is my bff tooo!! She’s my cousin though, but that’s my little buttercup and she’s like my sister, since I have none of those <3 

Ever broken a bone? Nope.

What was the last CD you bought? Oh damn an actual one??? Uhhh I think it was an Aventura one… their Last Project album I believe. They’re a Spanish band. Downloaded album was Pink’s new album I’m in LOVE with it.

What was the last book you read? The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need by Joanna Martine Woolfolk

Who was the last person you spoke to? The mother

What was the last thing you ate? Soup :(( My stomach has been a little shit the past two days. I think I caught the stomach bug fml. 

What was the last thing you drank? Ginger ale because I can actually keep that down

What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought? Oh goshhh I buy SO MANY THINGGSSS!! Uhhhh MY CAR!!! She’s a beautiful 2016 Honda HR-V, I love her :DD My Kat Von D Shade and Light palette!!! I can’t live without that palette!!! Oh oh and my laptop!! She’s been a bit of a shit lately, but I do adore herrr.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought? Ughh I tend to like everything I buyy

What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given? My Uggs!!! My mom got me them and I LOVE them

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been given? I don’t think I haven’t liked anything that’s been given to me so far??

What are your future goals? Well it was to become a nurse and I ammmm so there it is and I’m even where I wanted to be :DD Maternity nurse with the babieesss :DD 

Describe your bedroom? A black bed. A big black dresser. Two closets…. I have a lot of clothes. Two mirrors, well three if you count my make-up mirror. I have a make-up dresser that’s black too with like a shit ton of make-up!!! Black curtains. White walls and the wall that my bed is attached too has pictures completely covering it in a checkerboard pattern. I’m pretty proud of it, it’s my favorite thing about my room! Oh and another wall has my car tax bill taped to it so that I remember that I have the next half of that shit to pay in January xD

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world? I think Jessica Lowndes if GORGEOUSS

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world? Ian Somerhalder is GORGEOUSSSS so is William Levy!!!!!!

Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? Go to the pool, and lay out under the hot summer sunnn. I absolutely LOVE the heattt 

Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? Keep my ass in!!!! Curl under warm blankets and drink yummy hot chocolate

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be? Have all my bills/loans paid off for the rest of my liiiffeee, anything my mom would want, and idk probably a nice gorgeous house in the future

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do? I’d go back to my high school years and not date the douchebag of my ex

What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up? Can I go back to sleep for another hour?? haha

Do you believe in the after-life? I dooo

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? I have no fucking cluee. I still see myself in the same profession though because I do love it deep down haha. Hopefully, though I’ll be out of CT and just somewhere different. 

What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever been told? I don’t really tell jokes I don’t think I’m funny at all :((

Any hidden talents? None that I’m aware of??? I mean I can sing?? Does that count??

Dream job? Currently doing it!!! Being a nurse :DD Even though I do have a love/hate relationship with it xD

Who is your hero? My mommmm

Describe yourself in 3 words: Introvert, sweet, sarcastic

FAVORITES

Favorite color? Blackkk I love pink too, but black way moree

Favorite number? 14

Favorite animal? Snow Tiger

Favorite sport (to play)? Umm I only ever cheer leaded soo cheerleading by default

Favorite sport (to watch)? Baseball and Football

Favorite Show(s)? Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU, NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy and my guilty pleasure issss Keeping up with the Kardashians haha yes I hate myself for loving that show xD

Favorite movies? Titanic, Cinderella, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, andd The Princess Bride 

Favorite band? Evanescence 

Favorite song? It’s constantly switching 

Favorite room in the house? My bedroom!!!!

Favorite food? Pizza!!!!! 

Favorite drink? Pepsi :DD Should I be drinking any kind of soda? Nope because I get kidney stones pretty often. Do I still drink my Pepsi like all the time?? YEASS

Favorite place? Disney World <3

Favorite cartoon character? That would be between Cinderella and Sally

Favorite day of the week? Monday and Thursday because I neverrrr work on those days!! 

Favorite day of the year? August 23rd!! :DD

Favorite season? Summerr

Favorite Holiday? Christmass 

Favorite girls name? Emily, Aria and I have to say I do love my name too!! Kiara is pretty 

Favorite boys name? Declan and Aiden

Favorite country? Italy

Favorite smell? OoOo I’m a very fruity person but cucumber melon is my absolute favorite!! 

Favorite sound? Rain falling, tapping of the keyboard, tapping of acrylic nails, a heart beat especially baby heart beats because they go really fast!!

Favorite accent? British

Favorite Ships (in or our of BDRP)? I love all the ships hereee!!!! I love all of my ships tooo ngl xD 

Favorite Fandoms? I don’t think I really have any???

PREFERENCES

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi!

Pen or Pencil? Pen. I really don’t like pencils at all and won’t use one unless it’s a lead pencil 

Day or Night? Night all the way

Cat or Dog? Dog but I’m sadly very allergic to both :((

Summer or Winter? Summer!

T.V. or Radio? Radio

Brains or Beauty? Brains

Cup or Mug? Mug

Tea or Coffee? Coffeeee, but I’m not a huge fan or either tbh

Gold or Silver? Silver

Brush or Comb? Comb

City or Country? City

Early or Late riser? Late!!!! Look I get up at like 1pm the earliest. 

Blond or Brunette? Brunette

Scary or Romantic movies? Romantic haha Scary movies are too predictable to me I mean so are romantic but whateverr

Board or Computer games? Board gamess

Half full or Half empty? Half full

Happy and poor or Sad and rich? Happy and poor

Glasses or Contacts? Glasses

Flowers or Chocolates? Chocolate!! Please no flowers those die on me tooo

Love or Money? Love

Hugs or Kisses? Tbh hugss I love hugging!!! Just not cuddling though haha

[21andbad]

February 9:

Kpop literally takes over my life OF COURSE , also excited about what song to use for my vlog, maybe sistar’ holiday? I also love kpop fashion and colour. Aso lol at the photos caitlynn’s edits like its 2008, like the nice HD photo I sent her and then she ruins the quality hahah, whatever. I also had that moment where I say my standards are too high but do nothing to change them LOL also the tommy overalls i love are sold out in my size :( sigh*

from sss:

*me all excited*: guess what i ordered online :))))

mehg: what?

me: a musubi maker !

mehg: allan how was i supposed to guess that as if we’ve been talking about this

—

lmao i legitimiateky cried cause I was so excited and actually wanted her to guess it right lol

- 

oh yeah today savi told me the story about annalise and its so sad to what happened to her, my heart breaks..

HOLY FUCK WAIT HOLD ON TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT I WENT OUT WITH my GIRLS, we went to the ax night, mehgan thought it was meet meat ax, not meet me at ax, but yeah uhm we went to kiu and i treated abby to dinner and we got james as our server, super fucking awkward, saying she looked nice and security shit and whateverr, fucking awkward, funny, someone had their windshield wipers up in an underground parking lot, and yeah after, OH YEAH HORRUBLE FUCKING WEATHER, and mehgan wasn’t gonna go but we picked her up and haha no choice and then ate zsa zsa came, it was a snowstorm but fuck it i’ll just drive slow and yeah we went to fly and then WE HAD A FUCKING BLAST, loved the kpop, mehgan fucking killed me, someone unbuttoned my fucking shrit and everything was just fucking hilarious and we left at a certain time but yes, had a fucking blast with my girls <3

-

Friday, the usual, class then lunch with emerald and she was ahving a rough day with her stuff with her t4 and stuff but i still love her ha, and yeah so funny she was like facetiming her grandma to like take a pic of her SIN and it was so funny watching and omfg caitlynn texted me saying to lie to investigaors and shit so I fucking called her and lmao she said it was a joke i hate her, but yeah she told me whats hpanening with her and krystal and it just makes me sad :( sigh I just wish the best for the both of them and want caitlynn to focus on her and jaylen man ugh heartbreaking but yeah, after class I just did homework for a bit or whatever, no I went home and gymmed quick and napped and then it was snowing but i still wanna fucking party and go to this ax event lol and yeah got alana then decided to get mehg after and then went to abby’s and ooooh ate zsa zsa is coming, we went to kiu and lol our server james was os fucking awkard, i said hi to tracy but she doens’t rmeember me lolbut whatever, went to town on dinner ! good good yum yum yummmz, andyeah went to fly afterwards, it was dead but got bumpin’ and i went with the right people <3 i danced with a guy that took off my shirt lOL and i had a blast with mybaddies <3 such agood time with my girlss heheheh, hotties and stuff but hwtaveer, i loved ax haham i said hi to brendan as well lol

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