#SDHD

[not-poignant]

It's that time of year again! Hammered out a modest (for me) word count of 472k over the year, with December's reflecting my overall burnout. Finished Falling Falling Stars, started another story to get addicted to (Underline the Black and friends), and overall it's been a great year for emotionally authentic writing! (My yearly wordcount does not include: worldbuilding, outlining, planning, multiple drafts (only the first draft of a chapter is included), or half-chapters since I *only* count completed chapters. It's a bit unconventional, but having a monthly wordcount where I only count completed chapters has been working for me for years now!)

This has been the first year in a little while that I haven't hit 500k, which I think reflects both a desire to spend more time relaxing and resting between writing, but also being absolutely smashed with a lot of new medical diagnoses and appointments, and being often too burnt out to write at all.

Next year doesn't look much better on the medical front, and may indeed be a lot worse. Being diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), T2 Diabetes (50% of the people with my permacancer get T2 diabetes which only goes into remission upon removal of the tumours, but my tumours are inoperable, so my T2D can't go into remission) and possibly Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension (PAH) on top of all my other disorders each came as huge blows. One of the saddest being learning I may never be able to take ADHD meds again, and having to stop after a very amazing 3 months where I could schedule writing ahead for the first time in my life, and plan a holiday for December.

There will be no more Schedules going forward, that was sadly a 'medicated ADHD' blessing, and it's gone now. :(

So going forward into 2023 I don't know what writing I will be doing or what I will achieve. I don't know if I can continue writing the way I have been, and if I get an official confirmation on the PAH (so far it's only CT confirmed), and only have around 5~ years left to live, my writing future could look very different indeed.

But it's business as usual in the meantime.

This year I am the most broke I have ever been on the medical front (I have no health insurance, and only some of our healthcare is free, which doesn't include psychiatry, or the calibre of therapy I need, and now that I need to see a private pulmonologist and possibly engage in lung rehabilitation, things might get pretty awful pretty fast). I have never been more grateful to all the folks who have supported or who are still supporting on Patreon or who have given to Ko-Fi.

I love everyone who is in this little community, but for the ones who kept me financially afloat so I didn't drown, thank you.

[inklore]

JOSEPH QUINN as TOM Make up (2019) dir. Claire Oakley

[doodlboy]

"Make me understand!"

[fluffyk97]

I love Sonic x Shadow Generations coming out for the new Shadow content of course. I also can't help but be glad to see Generations itself will be coming out cause I used to have so much playing through the stages.

But god i am hoping- PLEEEASE- that the awesome graphics we've seen of Shadow's stuff carries over to the main game and they get rid of the weird shading around Sonic's mouth !

Get rid of that weird shadow line around his mouth in the white space and it has forever bothered me.

[newfound-selfship-archived]

(takes in a breath, intending to gush)

grr grrrr GRRR GRR GRRRRR GRR grr 

(lets out a defeated sigh)

[parenthesespuke]

ugh everything sucks i need to talk to my doctor about medication soon 😩 ive been putting it off since june and now i feel like shit for not replying to her or scheduling an appointment then lol

[kailasakalpataruchinese]

不要让自我怀疑自我厌恶自我否定毒害你 Don't Let SDHD Infect You

[workerrolli]

Android ftp server sdhd

Android ftp server sdhd android#

Now to connect to this new port securely, the client must reuse the existing TLS session that it already have with the server on the control connection. This port represents the data connection. The client then enter passive mode by sending a PASV command and in response the server opens a random unprivileged port and sends in response the port number to the client. When you connect to an FTP server over TLS, the server intiates a secure ssl session with the client on the control connection. The problem in your case is that the Apache FTPSClient doesn't support TLS session resumption and, thus, fails when you try to transfer the file. (InetAddress.getByName("XXX_XXX_XX_X"), 26) I give you the part of the related code: TransferImagenesFTP.ftpClient = new FTPSClient() I'm looking for a way to make file transfers using the library, but without success, however, I understand that there must be a way. If I deactivate the "Required TLS session resumption on data connection when using PROT P" box, the transfer works correctly. Therefore, I have this option enabled on the server:Īs I said, I can connect to the server, but not transfer files. The client who orders the app, for security reasons, requests that the TLS session resumption on data connection be requested when using PROT P. I am making the connection through FTPS, and although it connects perfectly to the server, I have a problem when transferring files.

Android ftp server sdhd android#

I am using the Apache Commons FTP library in my android application

[transingthoseformers]

Imagine if Starscream learnt of Sari

Starscream: You fragged a human?!

Megatron: *too tired for this*Others do it too i am not that special

Starscream: Thundercracker at least didn't knock up Marissa with any sparklings!

Megatron:*gives a look* That you know of

Starscream:

Skywarp:*snorts*

That you know of sdhd

Nice to see the alienfuckers and humanfuckers interlap ( In more ways than one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

It's just funny to me to see Megatron added to the list of "has slept with a human"

Does this mean Sari's definitely definitely Megatron's kid? Or is it complicated like in tfa? Or is it more like the terrans involving the emberstone? Some fourth option?

Starscream's got opinions on this and it's not the human part it's the Megatron part

[bluerose5]

sdhds sorry if this is obnoxious BUT that last part brings up another question - does he let Astarion feed from him with the whole tainted blood thing?

@melvinthedepressedrobot never apologize for asking so many questions like this. It's fun! Especially on nights like tonight when the gears are turning. Hope you don't mind me making a separate post for this one because the direction my mind went... 😂

Okay, so I was starting off with a serious answer because there would be various factors at play. 1) I've mentioned before that Anders and Justice can sense something is off with Astarion from their first meeting, so they already suspect he's not your average elf. 2) Anders and Justice do not like demons. In Thedas, vampires are creatures possessed by hunger demons iirc, so there's that bias already established when they see this bastard try to drink from them in the middle of the night. However, there is 3) which is Anders has a big heart, and Astarion might actually be able to manipulate him into believing he's so weak and stuff and actually needs blood to go on. Big IF, depending on whether or not he can convince Anders he's not a demon since Faerûn vampires don't work like that.

First conclusion: Probably, but most likely not. Anders would definitely give him a heads-up that he would drink at his own risk because of the taint, informed consent and all that jazz.

THEN, I fucking remembered Araj, and I remembered one of Astarion's conversations can lead to him calling her blood rank.

So, by that logic, Astarion should be able to tell that something isn't right with Anders' blood which made this way funnier in my mind.

Astarion really smelled Anders' nasty, spoiled milk smelling blood, thought "well, if I could convince anyone not to stake me if things go south, it would be this one," and decided to willingly suffer through that torture for a quick fix of the unknown.

He flashes those puppy dog eyes, pouts at him when caught. Meanwhile, Anders is just like, "Yeah, btw, my blood is basically poison that could corrupt you into a grotesque monster, but by all means, do go on." 👍

That'll definitely send Astarion into a fit of "wtfWtfWTF?!?!"

[katyspersonal]

What are your thoughts on deraciné (the VR game that fromsoft made)? It's pretty obscure but it has a wonderful story (and plenty of bb references to the point that there was a rumor that it was supposed to be bb 2)

Sorry, I forgot about this ask as I read it when I was still in the bed and could not answer... But yeah, for now I don't know anything about this game! I first even heard it mentioned in Zullie's video about the Wormfaces, but I already was surprised why I literally never hear about it? ...and now that you've mentioned it is VR I guess I see why :') ...or maybe VR is way more common thing abroad and it is JUST obscure.

I simply quick-checked a few letsplays on Youtube to get the general idea, and it seems to have a really beautiful atmosphere? I just already really love the designs and the locations! Bloodborne's aesthetic is my favourite out of Soulsborne games; Victorian-ish vibe resonates with me more than other games sorta medieval fantasy setting. So yes, artistically, of course I love it! If I am not wrong, it functions like point-and-click adventure but in 3D. I will be real, I've always been absolute moron at point-and-click games for some reason?? However, the way From puts their stories into puzzles so far proven to be crafted for my brain particularly, so I'd feel confident enough to actually try it... ...if I ever get a VR device. xd I also seet hey played out us playing without combat and in VR as being a Faery children believe exists? This is brilliant! ALSO:

sdhdfgsdfj Autism moment, but I was so glad to see this name xd Soulsborne consistently adds female characters named a variant of this name in their games sdhd Yuria in DeS, mentioned Yulia in DS1, Mentioned Zullie (character, not dataminer!) in DS2, Julie/Yurie in BB, Yuria in DS3... And now this xd I just like when they keep the pattern (glares at BB for breaking the 'cannibal swamp lady' trend)

_____________

Well, yeah, in any case, it seems like it is a lovely game! Actually when I tried to look what it was about, I got reminded of Bloodborne not only because of the designs and atmosphere, but also because of the system. Before I could buy PS4 and Bloodborne, I was stuck learning BB lore all by myself through descriptions, awful quality videos that never showed me what I NEEDED unless by accident, screenshots and images, datamined models and names, all that... And the way I had to move around everything I could to connect together the pieces and figure out the story and headcanons myself? It reminded me of how this game is played in particular. No combat, but just puzzles to solve and things to find. I am sorry if that makes no sense, the reasons brain activates distant memories sometimes can get too obscure or even random.

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

HEDANSDNASDA SDHD DWHD WDAW DWADH hiii covey <3 you are the most amazingest and lovely person!! you deserve that break and we will BEAT THOSE HATERS UP!! and...on the other hand...leo x ceto/keto daughter ... sea monsters...bronze dragon... 🥰🥰🥰 ... ANWYAY I LOVE YOU, SCREW THOSE HATERS AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH STUFF!!!!! I HOPE YOU GET THE MOST AMAZING NAPS EVER ALWAYS

AWWW THANK YOU ANON THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE SOMEONE WILLING TO FIGHT IN YOUR HONOR!!!

[unluckyhoneybee]

I need to rant and get this out.

My experience right now on the route to self dx, self discovery and looking for support:

(English is not my first language, maybe there are some terms written wrong or something, I don't plan to offend anyone, I just literally translate a lot of stuff. If it's the case, tell me and I'll correct it)

I think it was around November when I started seeing these tiktoks about adhd. My first thought was to think that it was bullshit and those weren't symptoms, everyone taps their foot when nervous or stims a bit. Right?

Well, it started bugging me a bit when instead of this "cute and quirky" videos, more serious stuff started to shoe up on my time line. It talked about attention and focus issues, about adhd paralysis, sensory issues, executive disfunction, hyperfocus, etc. I related too much to all of this.

I decided to start researching about this. I literally hyperfocused on Adhd. I could only think about it, watch videos, read, follow people, etc. I discovered that no, some of those symptoms I thought were common for everyone were not. I discovered that yes, everyone can tap their foot when they are nervous, but it's something truly common for adhd people. It's a common trait.

Well, I reached the point in which I needed to start talking to someone. My friend as adhd. She is literally my best friend. I wasn't expecting a reaction like this. I told her I believed I had adhd and she said: No you don't, you are really intelligent. You probably have really high IQ. Cool. I felt like shit and tried to explain to her that I had been reading about certain symptoms and that it made sense. She made me list some of them and then told me that it wasn't adhd, it was probably just something else. "I am very sensitive to noises and crouds and going to bars makes me anxious" "You are really introverted" that shit hurt and for a couple of days I felt lost. At that point I was so sure I had adhd and many things had started to make sense.

Then I talked to my sister and she said, it's alright. What do you plan to do now? I don't know. I still don't know. But she stayed with me, she let me rant and understood, she asked questions and listened to me. Also, she had just made a friend who is working on her diagnosis and I'm so thankful because we are always exchanging experiences.

Coming back to my best friend. When the idea that I have sdhd settled back, I realized that it made her insecure. She is really insecure. She is not the best in the class, she had a hard time studying and passing exams. She always said it's the adhd and she truly believes that it makes you stupid or something (no blame to her, her mental health is on the floor and has too many problems to deal with and fix). I get better grades, I know a lot of stuff about nature, animals, etc so for her, if I have adhd and can pass some exams it means that she is a failure and could do better.

Then, after admitting that I have adhd I started talking to my mum and dad because I'm sure it comes from my dad's side of the family and there are many (dad included) that have adhd in there. Okay. My mum has her doubts. Again, I'm intelligent. How am I going to have an attention deficit?

My cousin (5yo) probably has autism. Everyone in the family is worried because he needs to be "fixed". Bullshit. Yeah. But I have felt very misunderstood for my whole life and I'm not going to play that game. I started researching because I read about Audhd and because Im 90% sure that the kid is autistic. I want to be ready if someone brings it up in my family because I know that they won't do it in a good way.

During this austism research, I started doubting. What if? Again the same process. This time I only told my sister. Watching how my best friend reacted and how my family talks about my cousin's "problem" I don't feel ready.

At this point, I'm almost sure I'm autistic. I ve read about masking, about how adhd and austism can hide each other when they come together, late diagnosis, how girls get less diagnosed, more and more symtoms... I've done countless of test for both, autism and adhd, and they all come out as positive.

The thing is I don't feel ready to reach for Profesional help:

I have always known I'm different from the people around me. I wasn't like the other kids, like my friends. I preferred to stay at home than going to the park. I had a room full of Playmobil where I loved to spend time playing, preferably alone because other kids didn't "play well" (they didn't play the way I thought it should be played). This feeling of being different has always been there, it's like feeling misunderstood. It doesn't matter how much you try to explain, they never fully understand.

My dad just thinks it funny. Jajaja, my kid says I have adhd. My mum still doesn't see it. So you have that too? The only person that supports me is my sister.

For ages i have been trying to tell them that I need boundaries, I don't like physical touch, I need a lot of alone time, I have meltdowns and shutdowns and sometimes can't manage my feelings well. Every time I try to stop them they say I'm rude or have the worst moods. Lili is so rude probably the sentence I have been told the most in my whole life.

I've read some stuff about how sometimes an asd dx can close many doors and don't have many benefits for some people.

I don't want to face my family and have to explain but I really want to because of my cousin. I don't want him to grow this confused because now I look back and many things would have been so different if I knew what was going on. I've felt like shit so many times because I couldn't work out stuff and function it like others wanted me to. If I only had an answer...

I fear negative results. If they tell me I don't have any of this disorders, I know I'm gonna break. Plus, I don't have that much money to go from therapist to therapist.

I really fear rejection and people doubting my words. I don't want to have to prove anything to anyone but I know that it can happen.

I'm in a place in which I have settled for this. My personal experience plus what I have learnt, tell me this is true. I have adhd and asd. I'm not in a good place to look for a proper diagnosis yet, so the self dx is the only option. I'm starting to open up and understand many things about myself and how my brain works but still it is so scary to have to tell people. My symptoms are there, they are just masked. But I also fesr that if I start unmasking people will tell me I'm making it up. So stay "hidden" is the only way right now and it's so frustrating and scary. I wanna feel better and I'm slowly working on it. I'm accomodating my whole life to this new view and it feels good. I don't fear noise canceling earplugs now, or staying at home or just moving away if I need alone time. The rest will slowly come as I learn more and more.

If you have reached this, thank you for taking some time. I needed to get all of this out. Another day, I'll talk about my symptoms and traits, I'm still ordering those and trying to see where everything comes from.

[lunaticobscurity]

sdhd

i haven't read chainsaw man, but just based on what i see on my dash, in an uncharacteristic move, the horned girl is a lot more appealling to me than the femdom girl