#SMS Regulation Change

[circeyoru]

The Only Reason _ Part 3

[Yandere!Sung Jinwoo x Worker!Reader - Mana Chaos AU]

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 (here) — Part 4

“Sung Jinwoo is an S-Rank Hunter…”

“Another one…”

“It’s been 2 years since Cha Hae-In too.”

Nowadays, the emergence of an S-Rank Hunter and some A-Rank Hunters was like a demon had crawled out of hell and into the human world to cause destruction. Strong Hunters were seen and painted as a double-edged sword. On one hand, they could bring about peace to normal—non-awakened—individuals by closing gates and raiding dungeons. On the other hand, they could bring about destruction in their wake due to <Outrage> and the innocence would be harmed. 

Protocols like an awakened Hunter must report to the EMI instead of the Hunter Association because they have to keep track of stronger Hunters. Hunters must continuously measure their mana levels in case of a reawakening into a higher rank. It was unavoidable, no matter which country, because they prioritized ordinary people more. 

Perhaps the only place where EMI regulations can’t touch is America. After what Thomas Andre had done, he singlehandedly protected his fellow Hunters and announced to the EMI that they couldn’t have their way with people who worked to protect them from the dangers known as gates and dungeons. There were some Hunters that escaped to America to join Thomas and his stance, there were also some that were unluckily caught by the EMI, and some that didn’t do anything. Such is the sway of a National Level Hunter. 

Unlike Thomas, who had no weaknesses to use against, Jinwoo was different. His family, his mother and younger sister, were dependent on the society and their system. So, against his better judgement, Jinwoo bowed to the whims of the EMI and was taken in as SM-10. 

In the facility, he underwent several tests to draw a profile for him since he was fundamentally different from his E-Rank file. Anyone could see at a glance. Jinwoo kept his cards hidden because the more capable he was, the greater the danger his loved ones would be in. He was doing everything for his family. Upon capture, he was promised that his family would receive financial support so long as he behaved himself. 

A cowardly but effective threat and compromise that he agreed. 

Still, he hated the people who worked in this accursed building. All those labourers who hid behind a mask and voice changer donned uniforms that displayed their station. Throughout his days, he observed a few groups of workers. 

First was the type that he frequently came into contact with: Guard. As their station name, they guarded things, from equipment to rooms and even Hunter cells. They were the ones that handled conflict and violence, even the heavy lifting, if any. Those who were higher ranked were called Warden; however, he only saw them during his testing sessions when they were making his profile. They all wear black masks—Warden’s mask is black with a white scratch mark over the right eyehole—and black soldier uniforms.

Second was the type that constantly changes to the point he doesn’t even keep track of: Supervisor. Contrary to their high-standing title, they do the smallest and most insignificant tasks, like delivering supplies, checking Hunter cells, and being an owl so passing messages. They were low-ranking workers that most wouldn’t bat an eye to if gone. Perhaps that’s why they have a grey uniform and a grey mask. Their code went as high as the hundreds, going to the thousands. 

Third was the type that he hated most: Investigator or Researcher. They were the ones who administered the tests and punishments to the Hunters, and they monitored them inside their cell. Under their glances, a Hunter is reduced to a mere lab rat. They were individuals connected to the EMI but needed to be more important to make a—any—difference in the building. However, they were respected in some sense because some did aim for the betterment of the Hunters staying in the building. They wear a white mask with a mocking grin and a white uniform, complete with a lab coat.

Last was the type that intrigued him the most: Personnel. Though their code suggests they have people in the hundreds, there was actually only a handful of them in the building. The highest number he saw was 12. They were the ones with the most authority and well-respected individuals among the other groups, their work and station varied from individual to individual. They were the ones that stayed in the building the longest, and a new Personnel would only join their ranks if they carried confidential information about the EMI. 

One would notice there doesn’t seem to be a highest position or individual, but the Personnel were the ones who acted as the say of the facility. None had absolute power to keep each other in check, and in case a threat was targeted, if one fell, the other would continue in the other’s place. The smaller the number, the bigger their authority, it seems. 

Personnel 001 was once his observer during the tests, when he could let loose. After all the observation and boredom, Jinwoo accidentally killed them and was quickly restrained. He paid close attention to what happened. Would another observe him? Would there be a new Personnel in their ranks? What would happen?

Turns out, you happened.

Personnel’s clothing is ever-changing. They have free reign over what they want to wear; needless to say, they have no uniform. They only have to wear a lab coat over their usual outfits, and that’s it. One could mistake them for Investigators, but the distinct code would be shown on their coat at the area over their heart. They have a white mask with reflective black glasses covering their eyeholes. 

Yet when you came in, you were void of that mask that hides one’s expression and face. Still, your poker face was impressive. You appeared expressionless and reminded him of a doll. You neither introduced yourself nor showcased your station, different from Personnel 001, who was practically shouting at him that they were the ones in power in this facility. At first glance, he knew you were different from all the rest. 

“You’re hiding your cards. SM-10.” Your words held knowledge and confidence, stating a fact rather than questioning him. Your arm hugged a black clipboard with a small stack of papers clipped while your other hand held a pen. If you weren’t wearing a lab coat, you’d appear like a strict teacher or lab researcher.

He couldn’t help but let a smile spread over his lips, “What makes you think that?”

“You’re holding back.” You turned to the Guards stationed within the cell to leave you alone. Yes, a Personnel has the authority to be alone with a Hunter, but if it were a Supervisor, they must be with at least two to three Guards. “You killed Personnel 001, why? Be honest.”

There was a shine in your eyes that he noticed. He couldn’t tell what it was, though he wanted to be coy. “You’re not the only ones observing. Why not make it mutual?”

That was his first meeting with you. 

With his Shadows, he watched you and your daily activities. You were practically glued to your work; you came to work early but left late. You have a good relationship with the other coworkers, and most respect you, evident by the nodding heads you receive in the hallways. You also seem to care for Hunters in their cells, inspecting the cell quality and making things more bearable for Hunters like him. 

Thanks to him, more and better changes happened after Personnel 001 was removed. By then, he figured out that whether it was a company setting or a guild setting, 001 was the guild master, and you were the vice master. Once 001 was gone, you had more authority and implemented changes, of course, with the agreement of your other Personnel co-workers. 

In that case, that makes you a lot more interesting. You realized his strength and power, you wanted an improved and more sophisticated place for Hunter, different from how the facility was supposed to be, and you have been treating everyone human. 

Jinwoo concluded that he wanted to stay and get closer to you. With you in charge, his family was practically safe as well. He’ll stay and protect your spot at the top. Yet why were you pushing him away? It infuriated him. Still, he was thankful for the other Personnels’ fear over setting an S-Rank loose in public that he could prove to you how wrong you were to fight for his release.

While showing his point, he reduced the Personnel to perhaps 6 remaining���that already includes you. From 12 to 6, he cut off 4, and then there was 001 as well, so one Personnel died through other means. Either way, he made his point.

You were the only Personnel he liked and could resolve his <Outrage>.

That already bound you to him, and none would harm you unless they wanted the country to fall to ruins. 

The two of you share secrets, and slowly, he got you to open up, showing only him a side of you that you hide behind an invisible mask. You’re the only one for him, he’ll make it so that he’s the only one for you. 

He realized that his emotions and feelings for you turned a bit twisted over time. That Guard 149 that stared at you a little too long? Their leg was somehow caught between the double doors, so they can’t work here anymore, right? That Investigator 083 that was standing so close to you that your arms were touching? An experiment backfired and their arms were amputated. Another Guard that is coded 761 was asking you out? They got into a car accident and died. 

Jinwoo was careful. You never pointed fingers at him nor suspected it was him at all. You were very naive and innocent; he loves that about you. You care for your workers, yet at the same time, you also don’t. He got his answer when he finally communicated with the other S-Rank Hunters during the end of the Jeju Raid.

“Personnel 002? Oh, I’d say that person cares about Hunters more.”

“Haha, Personnel 002 has been very accommodating, unlike the other ones.”

“You can’t compare Personnel 002 with the others, it’s not a fair comparison.”

“I always enjoy my time with Personnel 002.”

“You’re lucky SM-10, I wish I could have Personnel 002 come to my place often.”

The other S-Rank Hunters only had good things to say about you. As expected, you were biased against Hunters and silently helped them more. Though, he was more enraptured to hear you giving him special care and attention. In private, his smile grew wide as he chuckled to himself. “Ah… You’ll be the death of me… Personnel 002.”

Note: Ta da! Part 3's out and this is Jinwoo's side of the story, if it wasn't obvious to you!! A bit of boring history, but it's what it is~ Hope you guys liked this one!

Circe Y.

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[pumpkinbxtch]

Hi!! Idk if this is against ur guidelines but would you be okay with doing hcs for aftercare w Jason Grace? I love your writing sm and I love my heroes of olympus boys 😔🙏❤️

ᬊ jason grace | aftercare headcanons

☆ radiostar is playin': my girl by the temptations...!

warnings: sexual references, aged up (as everything in my writings) a/n: Heyyy, YES. this kind of content is accepted in my rules, which you can read here — rules. thank you sm for your cutie words 🥹🫶🏻 and thanks for passing by my blog! — kisses from Jupiter 💙

Jason is one of the best at aftercare because he's an amazing lover and boyfriend, no more to argue about.

Whatever position you end up in, he carefully slides out of you, not wanting to hurt you.

He's probably feeling a bit too much, just like you, so the first thing he does is ask if you're okay, without hugging you yet to avoid overwhelming you.

It's only when he sees that you're fine that he cuddles with you for a few moments while your breaths regulate and your hearts stop threatening to burst out of your chests.

And as soon as he feels a bit better, he'll be checking on you. He'll run his fingers through the hair on your neck and give you sweet kisses. "Are you okay?" he asks in his husky voice while stroking your bare shoulder.

It's so cute because he treats you like a delicate piece of glass after nearly breaking you in two and just telling you the dirtiest things, but you live for those two sides of him because damn, he's hot, right?

Jason always thinks about the type of aftercare you'll need depending on how you're feeling afterward. Some days he knows you need some time alone after reaching your orgasm and coming back to yourself, while other times you need to cuddle with him until you both fall asleep.

Jason has many things planned; for example, he'll have supplies ready, so after kissing your cheek, he'll put on his boxers and go get water or snacks for you. He helps you sit up in bed and brushes your hair away from your face.

He loves seeing your sleepy face and the sleepiness in it, as well as how flushed is.

He can't help but give you delicate kisses, trying not to overstimulate you again.

He also shows his concern in words, asking or saying sweet things like "Is my girl tired?" "You're so cute" "Come on, honey, drink some water."

He'll also ask if he crossed any boundaries with you. "Was I too rough?" You just shake your head, and he smiles.

"Come on, let's clean you up," and he carries you to the bathroom when you're feeling better. Literally like a feather, no matter how heavy you think you are, he can carry you.

Some days you both shower together, and other times he waits outside the bathroom while you shower. Maybe he'll be changing the sheets and tidying up the bed so you can rest better afterward.

You have your clothes in his place for moments like this, but still, Jason always prefers to give you one of his sweaters; he loves seeing you in them.

That man will cook for you and bring it to bed.

Once you're both changed, clean, and you've eaten something, you can finally cuddle up and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

Kisses and caresses.

Him humming while he strokes your hair.

You resting your head on his chest and him holding you tight.

Small "I love yous" whispered in your ear and hugs.

Until you both fall asleep.

This sometimes changes, but it's always Jason paying attention to your needs at that moment, because for him, you're his whole world.

[suiana]

(yandere! pathetic simp x gn! asshole reader) (i love asshole reader sm like...)

SUIANA: WHERES MY HUSBAND

YNMYBELOVED: SHUT UP NO ONE CARES!!!

YOU: both of yall shut up wtf

YOU: noisy 💀

YNMYBELOVED: sorry babe 😞

you scoff at your group chat, rolling your eyes before proceeding to message something that will break your lover's heart.

YOU: im not ur babe anymore

YOU: go fidn another

SUIANA: find*

*YOU HAVE KICKED SUIANA OUT OF THE CHAT!*

YNMYBELOVED: wait what

YNMYBELOVED: are u serious

hell yeah you were serious. i mean, he was fun for a bit but then he got too clingy and annoying. sure his wallet was fat but still. it did NOT outweigh the fact that he literally broke into your apartment because you joked about finding someone else.

you couldn't allow him to get any closer. he's too dangerous for just a bit of casual fun. you had to prioritize yourself! that's why you were breaking things off with him...

through text of all things. how considerate.

YOU: yeah i dont like u anymore

YOU: bye

you then turn off your phone, cackling as you scroll through your discord messages for another victim. hm... this one's cute. maybe you'll-

what?

you can't message them?

you squint at your phone, still attempting to message your next victim. why's it not working? everything was fine just a few minutes ago... so why did it stop working now? did you get banned?

no way... you adhered to all the rules and regulations. there's no way you could've been banned!

...

then it all clicks to you, your ex boyfriend. of course he would do something like this.

you sigh, slumping back in your seat as you stare at your phone screen that slowly gets covered in texts full of desperate messages. damn it, why'd he have to be so gifted in technology?

'pls take me back'

'i'll change i swear'

'just don't leave me'

you roll your eyes at his texts, hoping it would end sooner rather than later. geez, this is more of an annoyance than a scare. you seriously thought your account was banned for a second.

you turn on your laptop, deciding to scroll reddit to pass time when all of a sudden, a hand wraps around your mouth, pinning you to your chair. a familiar and pathetic voice floods your ears as you try to squirm out of his grip.

"d-darling please... don't leave... I'll die without you!"

shit, you knew you should've moved away after the first time he broke into your house.

[chlix]

treatment resistant

bf! chan x fem! reader: he comforts you during a mental health episode

pairing: chan x reader

genre: ANGST like seriously, turns into comfort at the end tho 🙏🏾

word count: 4.7k

warnings: graphic depictions of depression, anxiety/anxiety attacks, and psychosis (paranoia); self worth issues; general self-loathing

a/n: i wrote this in one sitting about six months ago and deliberated posting it, but it's almost the end of the year so i feel like i should release it. i used to feel so validated by fics where reader is depressed and gets comforted, but she was never as depressed as i sometimes was, so i drew a bit from life for this one. everyone please be safe and read the warnings <3

It doesn't start with the dishes. In fact, you think your therapist might tell you that it's not about the dishes at all, but about your own poor self-image, or lack of emotional regulation, or about a thousand other things that are wrong with the way you perceive yourself and the world.

The truth is that lately you've been sleeping way too late and waking up too early, and you're so tired that you can't eat, which makes you so hungry that you can't take naps. You're between jobs and the outlook hasn't been great, your best friend keeps blowing you off in favor of her new boyfriend, and just this week you found out that your favorite bakery is no longer making the souffles that you've been using as a pick me up since you moved into this building.

You don't do well with change, or rejection, or honestly anything, lately. You wake up stressed and you go to sleep stressed. You keep your phone on Do Not Disturb because you can't bear receiving notifications. Just today you've talked yourself out of taking showers twice, only to have a meltdown when you tried to sit on your bed because you felt too dirty to touch your own sheets. You sit on the floor instead. You eat a singular banana for lunch, just to make your headache go away. Your headache does not go away. You feel both unreal and painfully solid, sinking into the ground and on the verge of floating away.

Your boyfriend, Chan, keeps texting you updates about his day, and answering them feels like an exercise in performance art. You scroll through your previous texts to make sure you're adding the right amount of exclamation points, that you're using the same recent emojis. It's like cosplaying a happier version of yourself. A better version, a version that he could love, as opposed to how you are now: greasy and gross and plastered to the floor in your hallway. The idea of him seeing you like this fills you terror, or at least it would if you hadn't burned out your capacity for feeling things already.

A new message pops up.

Chan: Hey baby ❤️ Was thinking of swinging by tonight after work? I can bring dinner with me

Just the thought of eating threatens to make you vomit. You suck in a breath and hold it as you type,

You: If you want something specific go for it! I already started cooking but we could have it another time

Chan: I don't want to waste all your hard work. We can have what you're making. I'm sure it'll be delicious :)

You: I can promise edible. Delicious is up in the air rn 😭

Chan: I have faith in you even if you don't ❤️. I'll be there around seven today

You: Okay! I love you sm, see you then! ❤️❤️❤️

You lock your phone and throw it across the room. Why do you do this to yourself? "Already started cooking?" You haven't showered today.  Normally you try to deter Chan from coming over when you're having a freakazoid episode, but now you've basically invited him in? You have to be normal for an entire evening?

You fall on your back on the ground and put your hands over your face, blocking out the sunshine that insists on steaming through the cracks in the drapes. Your heart is beating so hard you worry you're going into cardiac arrest.

Get off the fucking ground, y/n, you tell yourself. You have to go cook dinner for your boyfriend.

"There is something very wrong with me," you say out loud, very quietly. The silence of your apartment swallows the words. They vanish, as if never said.

You get up.

It takes you two tries to make something even passing as edible. Your head is all over the place, and you burn batches of oil and veggies before you manage to stay in your body long enough to finish making anything. It takes an embarrassing amount of pans and spoons and bowls to make something that should be simple, and as dishes pile up in the sink you feel stupider and stupider. Why are you acting like you don't know how to cook? It's not hard to make some vegetables in stew. You don't know why it's taking every appliance in your kitchen and all of your concentration to execute such a simple task.

By the time you're done cooking, you've stressed yourself out enough that you're getting a tension headache. You close your eyes and brace yourself against the sink, rallying yourself.

Just do these dishes and then you can sit down, you think. Just one more thing.

You pick up a sponge.

You put the sponge down.

There is no way you can do these dishes.

It doesn't so much hit you like a train as the realization slowly creeps up on you. It's not that many dishes, really. It looks like a lot, because the pots and bowls are so large, but numerically there's very few items in your sink. It wouldn't even take 30 minutes to clean everything and leave it in the rack for later.

But that's not happening. The idea fills you with a cold and genuine dread, just as strong and perverse as when you'd tried to shower earlier, or sit on your bed. You can't turn on the tap because then the water will touch you, and it will feel Wrong, and then your whole body will feel Wrong, and then you'll die of Sudden Onset Wrongness. And now that you think about it, a lot of your anxiety today has revolved around water, and isn't that a symptom of rabies? Hydrophobia? Did you get rabies somehow? Would you know if you had rabies? Maybe that's the thing that's wrong with you- you're not depressed or insane or just a terrible person living a terrible life. You're just rabid. There's something eating your brain, and that's what's making you into such a fucking failure of a person.

While you're debating the possibility of brain-eating viruses, Chan comes home from work. You automatically turn towards him, a bright smile on your face, and rush to greet him.

"Hey, Channie!" you say, bouncing over to him with a pep you do not feel. "I'm so happy you're here!"

And you are, mostly. You love your boyfriend, really you do. He's loving and attentive, and he's never made you feel like anything less than the number one priority in his life. You have similar values and work ethics, which keeps you on the same page through most difficult periods in either of your lives and careers. You haven't been together long, but your bond is solid, and you really believe you're going to make it far together.

You also really believe you won't if he ever finds out what a complete nutcase you are. So you hide it. You grin at him and you appear light and joyful and easygoing and you brush off his concerns with adages and placations, and you redirect the conversation back to him, because you're a good listener and you love the sound of his voice and you much prefer that activity to any activity that involves you explaining how you laid on the floor for five hours and had an emotional breakdown while slicing cabbage. He has other things to worry about, other problems to solve without adding yourself to the list. You're supposed to be his respite, not another draining task. He doesn't need to know how hard it's been lately. You shouldn't have to say it.

So he doesn't. And you don't.

"Hey baby," he says. He sets his stuff down and kisses you in greeting. "How was your day?"

"Okay," you say. The answer feels curt, but you don't want to ruminate any more on your absolutely fruitless afternoon.

Chan doesn't comment on your strange answer. He takes his shoes off and hangs up his coat, and as he's about to walk past you he spots the mountain of dishes in the kitchen.

"Oh, were you about to do the dishes? I can do them if you'd like."

"You just got home," you protest. "You should go sit down."

"But you've been standing just as long cooking dinner, right? I should do my part."

His insistence is making something terrible expand in your gut. Instead of being flattered at his offer to help, his words feel like a violent condemnation. You should've done the dishes before he got home. You should've finished cleaning the kitchen altogether, so that he can relax in a clean environment. What kind of stupid fucking girlfriend are you, where you can't even do basic chores around the house?

"No, it's okay. I already psyched myself up to do them, so I'll do them."

Chan hums in a tone that's either playful or mocking, you genuinely can't tell which. "Okay, if you say so. Don't be afraid to tap out if the dishes get the better of you."

Great. He thinks you're so stupid you couldn't do the dishes if you tried.

You subtly regulate your breathing as you turn towards the sink. Chan disappears into the apartment out of view, and you give yourself thirty seconds to push your freak-out as far down inside you as you can.

"You're not an idiot, y/n," you tell yourself. "You can do some fucking dishes."

You reach under the sink and pull out some disposable plastic gloves. They make your hands look weirdly swollen and unfamiliar, as if they aren't your hands anymore. For a bizarre moment, you're convinced that they're genuinely not, that someone else's hands have been put on your body. You close your eyes so hard sparks fly in front of you.

Stop being crazy. Do the fucking dishes.

You turn on the water and pick up a bowl.

Chan reappears. You flash him a smile, but say nothing. Chan grins back, all dimples and crescent eyes. He's so handsome it makes you want to rip your own skin off. You thank God every day that you were born beautiful, because you could never have caught his attention with your personality alone. He'd be completely out of your league, and honestly, maybe he still is.

That thought gets shut down and pushed away. One crisis at a time. You don't have hands and you might have rabies, but you definitely have a boyfriend who loves you. There's no point in kicking yourself while you're down.

You turn back to the sink.

You cannot do these fucking dishes.

"Work was funny today," Chan says as he moves over to the stove and opens the pot.

"Mm?"

"Just some technical issues in the studio. Nothing serious, but it gave us some good bloopers."

You pick up a glass cup. You can see your reflection mirrored back at you in the curve, and your eyes are so wide. Have they always been that wide? Are your eyes drier these days than they normally are? You can't tell, because every part of you feels both dehydrated and submerged under water.

"This is really good, babe," Chan says.

You blink. "What?"

Chan holds up his bowl. "The stew. It's great. I told you it would be delicious."

You let out a pleased sound. "Thank you baby. Your encouragement really motivated me."

It was the wrong thing to say. You have no idea how, but from the way Chan's expression changes slightly as he looks at you, you know he's caught on to you acting weird.

"Is everything alright?"

Shit.

"With me? Yeah, I guess so. I've just been really tired lately."

"On the job hunt?" he asks sympathetically. It's like a stake in your heart.

"As always."

He wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your hair. "Don't worry, baby. You're super qualified in your field. You'll find something soon."

You need him to stop touching you or you'll start throwing pans at the wall.

"I hope so," is all you say.

"I know so. Just keep faith."

You hum again, noncommittal. It's like you're slowly losing the ability to speak. And the gloves are too tight and the water is so loud and you're nauseous and your head still hurts and it's probably not even the stress, it's probably the rabies, it's turning your brain into swiss cheese as you speak.

After another tight squeeze, Chan lets you go and retrieves his bowl from where he'd set it down. You hope he might leave you to go eat in the living room, but instead he hovers on the opposite side of the island, and continues telling you about his day. Normally, you'd love to hear the play by play of every crazy thing that happened with his group members and managers. Today, it's like nails on a chalkboard. The story is endless, keeps weaving around other anecdotes and tangents and you wish he would just shut up for one second so you can pull yourself together but you can't say that, because he isn't doing anything wrong, you're just being crazy, you're a bad and lazy girlfriend and you can't even put your own issues on hold long enough to listen to your boyfriend talk about his day. Everything is wrong wrong wrong, and you're Wrong and something is Wrong With You and it just keeps going it never stopswhy can't it all just stop-

"Y/N?"

Your name sounds like it's coming from a thousand miles away.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

You turn to look at Chan, see his eyebrows pinched together in concern. You have no idea how long he's been saying your name.

Very calmly, you strip your gloves off and lay them to the side. You turn off the water.

"Sorry," you say. "Give me one moment, please."

You walk past him and down the hall to your bedroom, where you very calmly and gently close the door behind yourself. You climb on to your bed, filthy clothes and all, and pull two of the pillows from the end to rest on top of each other. You tie your hair back with a hair tie, press your face into the stack of pillows below you so that your whole face is covered.

And you just start screaming.

Screaming is therapeutic, apparently. Or at least, it's on the approved list of emotional regulation activities your therapist had given you. As long as you aren't screaming at anyone, it can be an effective form of release. It helps you release the tension from your core and focus that nervous energy into sound and action.

You scream into the pillow as loud as you can. You aren't sure how much it's doing to muffle your sound, but the belief that it's helping allows you to let go. It's tearing at your throat, the intensity of it. Once you start it's hard to stop, you just keep going and going and going, as if you're expelling demons.

When you finally peter out, you pause for a moment, then push yourself onto your knees. You're dizzy. Blood is rushing in your ears. It's oddly hard to breathe, as if you can't get enough air in your lungs. Even the fact of your own body is too much for you. You wish you could abandon it, just for a moment. You wish you could observe this from the outside so that you would better know how to fix it.

Eventually, your breaths calm. The buzzing recedes, leaving room for rational thought. And your chest feels....lighter. No longer is there a bomb sitting in your sternum, waiting to explode. The pressure has equalized. You look down at your hands, fisted in your bedsheets, and they look like your hands.

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.

You think you can probably do the dishes now.

Gingerly, you climb out of bed and make your way to the door. You open it, prepared to put your smile back on and apologize for your rude exit.

Chan is outside your door.

His eyes are wide with alarm. He looks stiff, hesitant. One of his hands is outstretched towards the door, as if about to knock.

Your face goes blank, wiring short-circuiting as you try to figure out what to say.

"Hey, y/n," Chan says, slow, testing. "Are you okay?"

Your script restarts, and a big smile automatically draws itself on your face. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that. I just got a little overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yeah. It's fine, though. Come on, you can finish telling me your story."

You grab his hand and try to pull him away from the bedroom. He doesn't budge.

"Will you tell me what's going on?"

You turn back to look at him. "Nothing's going on."

"Baby, I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it yet. But you don't need to pretend there's nothing wrong. You don't need to lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"I heard you screaming in there."

Ice flushes through your body.

"Ah. Well, it's like I said. I got a little overwhelmed. I'm not hurt or anything. Sorry if I worried you."

"A little overwhelmed?" He's getting frustrated now, put off by your blase tone. "You look like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

"No, I don't," you say, because you don't. You know what you look like when you get like this. You've trained your expressions so well that your face doesn't flush. Your eyes don't tear up. You have to look put together, because if you don't look put together then you can't convince yourself that you are put together.

"Y/n. I know you. I can tell when something's up." He sighs. "I've thought you were a bit distant for the past couple of weeks but I figured you would come to me eventually. But here we are, and you're having an anxiety attack right in front of me and you won't even admit it."

"I'm not having an anxiety attack."

"Love, I know what anxiety looks like. If you'd just let me help-"

"I'm not having an anxiety attack. I don't have anxiety. I would know if I did."

"Everyone has bad days and hard times, baby. You don't have to be defensive. I'm not accusing you of anything."

"You say you're not accusing me of anything after unilaterally diagnosing me with anxiety?"

Chan lets out a long breath. "That wasn't what I meant. I just mean-"

"You can't just assign me disorders when you decide I'm acting irrationally. You don't know my medical history. You don't even know me that well. You don't know if my behavior is normal or not."

"You can't be getting upset at me for 'not knowing you' when it's clear you're actively hiding things from me," Chan says, patience thinning. "I see you're in distress and you're picking apart my wording? I'm trying to help you."

"I didn't say I wanted your help."

"You're my partner! Of course I'm going to help you!"

"You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because-" You choke on it and slam your lips shut.

Chan's face is drawn in irritation. He makes a go on gesture. But you can't go on. It's like the words are trapped in bubbling tar.

Your silence stretches. Chan sighs and drags a hand down his face in exhaustion. He'd gone out of his way to come visit you and now he regrets it. You've wasted his evening and ruined his mood. It's only a matter of time before he realizes you ruin everything. Hell realize he's drowning in all your mess and decide to save himself, and then you'll be alone again.

You draw in a breath of your own, but you're still lightheaded.

"Why did you invite me over if you didn't want me to see you like this?" he asks finally. "You don't have to see me every day if that's not what you want."

All the anger is gone from his voice. He's being so patient that your own stubbornness is acrid in comparison. You swallow, hard. Every muscle in your body is tense. You have the pull the words out of your throat with hooks, one syllable at a time.

"I wanted to see you," you explain, stilted and pathetic. "I thought I could pretend for long enough."

"Pretend what?"

That I'm not crazy. That I'm not falling apart. That I'm normal and easygoing and a joy to be around and definitely not rabid.

It's impossible to say. You don't know what's wrong with you, but you know that something is. You can't do the dishes. And you can't do this.

Your knees buckle and you sink to the floor of the hallway.

"Y/n?"

You don't respond. You're just staring straight ahead, all your thoughts whirring so fast that you're having trouble parsing any of them.

"Y/n? Hey, baby, sweetheart, can you look at me?"

You blink, and he's in front of you, on your level. He's trying to look calm but you can see the panic in his eyes. It only makes your chest tighter. You're dragging him down, you're cursing him. He needs to get out or you'll have his blood on your hands.

"We need to break up," you whisper.

Chan reels back like he's been slapped. "What?"

"We can't- we need to break up. I shouldn't have invited you over. I'm sorry."

"I..." Chan is at a loss for words. "You don't mean that."

But you do mean it. With everything in your body. "We can't be together."

"Baby, I don't know what you're thinking, but we don't have to break up if you don't want to. I don't want to break up."

You feel sick with his sureness. How can he claim to know you better than you know yourself?

"You don't get it," you say. Your tone is unnatural, words strange on your tongue. "We just can't be together."

"Can you tell me why you feel that way?"

"Just look at me."

"I am looking at you. And all I see is my beautiful, wonderful, perfect girlfriend who is having a very bad day and might be making some hasty decisions."

"Not a bad day. A bad life. I'm fucked up, Chan." The words come out with such a quiet malice that it shocks even yourself. "I can't even do the fucking dishes."

"I can do the dishes, love. I said it wasn't a big deal."

"No no no. It's not about the dishes." You're struggling to explain- the words are getting twisted, the thoughts all merge together- "I can't do anything. It's not about the fucking dishes. It's about- I can't-"

And you burst into tears

"I'm sorry," you say. "I'm really sorry. I just-"

"It's okay," he soothes. "It's okay. I understand now."

He doesn't. He can't, and you know that full well. You shake your head, vision blurring from your tears. You're so embarassed and it's making you cry worse. You think you must look so ugly right now. He must be repulsed by you. You're repulsed by yourself, your own misery making your skin crawl.

"Can I touch you, baby? I want to hold you."

You shouldn't. You'll infect him. You'll ruin him and take away everything that makes him good. Why is he even still talking to you? Why doesn't he leave?

"You don't have to-to feel obligated. I can just- if you give me a second-"

"I don't feel obligated," he says, patient but firm. "I love you. I want to hold you all the time."

Something in your chest cracks. You're so weak. It's pathetic. But you can't hold yourself back anymore.

"Please," you whisper, defeated.

Chan reaches out and pulls you into his arm. You're both still on the ground, but he rearranges you so you can hide your face in his shoulder, and you do, too humiliated by your tears to be able to look at his face. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and your traitorous body relaxes without your permission.

"You've been struggling for a long time haven't you?" he asks. "You didn't want me to pity you."

You don't say anything. You can't bear to.

"Well, I don't pity you. I think you're very strong, trying to deal with this on your own. You made me dinner today even though you didn't really want to, right? That was very kind of you to do. You take such good care of me, baby. You light up my life. Isn't it fair that I should get to take care of you too? Can't I return the favor by helping you now?"

"It's not the same," you mumble into his shirt, because the magnitude of the two asks isn't comparable. You chopped up some vegetables and threw them in a pot. He is witnessing you have a mental breakdown in your hallway. You're not equally yoked. It's too much to ask of anyone.

"Whether it's the same or not doesn't matter. Love isn't transactional. It doesn't have to be equal effort every single time. This isn't a favor I'm returning. I'm comforting you because you're upset, and I hate to see you cry. Do you believe me when I say I want to see you happy and smiling? That I would do anything to ensure it?"

You finally pull away from him, wiping away your tears on your sleeve. "You might have to go find a new girlfriend then," you say, voice cracking from the tears and the weight of your despair.

"I don't want a new girlfriend. I want you." He's hesitant, but he continues. "There are ways of getting help, you know. We can try some things, like therapy, or medication. I can help you. You don't have to feel this way all the time."

You shake your head. "I'm in therapy and on meds already. None of it really....works on me. I have fewer bad days than I used to but they still leave me like...like this. And they just drag on....it turns to weeks and months, and I can't....I can't do anything." You let out a shaky breath and make yourself stop talking. Even after all this, the urge to hold back is engrained in you. "You deserve better."

"I think I decide what I deserve," Chan says. "I know it's hard to open up about things like this, but what's worse than you being depressed is you hiding it from me. How can we work on this if you're pretending it's not real?"

"I wanted to be good for you. I wanted to be...to be easy."

Chan leans forward and cups your face in his hands. He looks you right in the eyes, and you see that they're glossy with their own unshed tears. "I don't need you to be easy. No one is. I just want you to be you. And I want you to let me be there for you. In everything. Including this. I want all of you. Do you think you can do that? Can you try?" He wipes away your tears with his thumb.

You swallow harshly. It goes against everything in you, everything you've taught yourself. Chan loves you. He wants to stay. Even though it may all crash and burn later, even though he might still turn on you or reject you or give up on you and declare this all a lost cause, right now he wants to stay. He believes in you. And you want to hold on to that belief as long as it lasts.

"Okay. I'll try."

A relieved smile stretches across his face.

"That's my girl," he says, and presses a kiss to your forehead. It makes something like pride settle in your chest, as if the part of you that cracked earlier might not stay jagged forever.

"Let's get off the floor, hmm? I feel like you might've spent enough time down here today."

You definitely hadn't mentioned that. Maybe he really does understand more than you'd thought possible. You don't know exactly how to feel about that, but you allow a bit of gratefulness to come through as he stands up on his own and reaches a hand down to pull you up. You wipe your eyes one last time, let out a breath, and take his hand.

[barbies1shots]

part3 of toxic!sukuna , prt1 , prt2

this one is kinda freaky..

not proof read

@hazzelle-kento for the idea !! thank you😉 this might turn into a series ..

☆- predator/pray dynamics , size kink , overstim (cant help myself) , stalking , fem!waitress!reader, batshit crazy!sukuna, slight misogyny , degradation, non-con>dub-con , possessive themes , body shaming , hair pulling , name calling , unprotected secs (wrap your willy pls)

thinking about toxic!sukuna and his inability to keep you off his mind. the way you cuss him out because he didn't put up dishes like you asked. or the way you stare him down when he doesn't take his shoes off before entering the house.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who denies that you actually want to break up with him. who said you couldnt break up with him.

why would you break up with him when he didn't do anything?

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who is just so unaware of the toxic things he did. restricting what you wear and who you go out with. lashing out at you when he asked a simple question. brushing you off when he came back late and smelled like alcohol.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who told you a top looks horrible on you. that it wasn't your color, and it was too tight, making you look fat. all because he wanted you to change.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who heard your sniffles from the other room but wanted to hear more of them. just because he's mean

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who is in denial and in complete confusion when you put a restraining order on him

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who claims he never put any hands on you.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who quite literally has internal conflicts on what to do. leave you alone, let you have your space youve been complaining about or come pounding on your door and fuck you to sleep.

thinking about toxic!sukuna who wouldn't respect any boundaries you've made and would invade your personal space.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who would contact you even when you blocked him on everything. instagram, SMS, twitter, tiktok, snapchat, facebook, google chat, EMAIL, yet the man still finds a way to messsge you.

' you still mad ? '

thinking about toxic!sukuna who doesn't care about your feelings at all. about how he only wants you for your mind- or for your body.

thinking about toxic!sukuna would try and corner you on your way back from a third shift at your work.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who literally dreams about chasing you and making you love him again.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who tries to explain that he's right wrong and that he only wants you.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who wants to be in every part of your mind. he wants to corrupt you, break you in, and make you maleable. just for him and his dirty pleasures.

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who succeeds in his dreams of chasing you.

why would you ever want to run from him?

thinking about toxic!sukuna, who chased you down the alleyway with you screaming at him to leave you alone.

☆

"get the hell away from me, you damn psychopath! youre fucking crazy! you stalk me, message me, call me- i dont want anything to do with you, Ryomen!" the sounds of your shrill voice bounce off the dry walls on either side of you.

he followed you from your work to the little 'short-cut' home, and now he got you cornered in a deadend. you had black wedges and a skirt on- courtesy of your uniform regulations.

of course, he knew where you worked, why wouldnt he?

"come back baby, you know better." he snickered. his taller form was hiding by the darkness of the alleyway as it was well past 11PM.

you shuffled through your purse in search of something to defend yourself. pepper spray, a pocket knife, maybe keys. but came up empty.

why would you need to defend yourself anyway?

it sounded like his footsteps got closer as your movements were more frantic in trying to find something to fight Ryomen off with. you hand came in contact with your phone, and you raised it above your head before looking up and straight into the eyes of the devil himself.

"what are you looking for-" he asked in your face, his breath washed over you. as your nerves spiked, you threw your hand down so your phone came in contact with his forhead. "argh- you stupid cunt!" he grunted out as his face contorted in straight fury and disbelief.

did you... just strike him?

you stomped on his foot with your heel, and you earned another pained groan. you immediately went around him to run off, run into someone to help you, run into the light- something. you ran, your wedges rendering your full ability to move, but you had to make due.

your phone layed cracked at the back of the alleyway but atleast you had your purse? the entrance of the alleyway came closer than before, and you made it about 2 full steps into the light of the streetlight before a rough hand pulled you back by the hair.

"no- no, oh my damn, let go, Ryomen!" you screamed in frustration. his other hand came in, covered your mouth before taking your struggling body and pushing you against the wall.

why would he let you go when he just got you back?

he held you there, his face red and burning by the way you swung at him without hesitation. his eyes didnt lie, and they were filled with hatred but longing.

"youre mine, im not letting you go." he growled into your face after his let his stinging grip away from your hair. his hand ran down his face and he sighed loudly, "you are just as predictable as any other woman." he looked bored.

"you hit me, step on my foot, and then try to run?" he asked. your eyes stung when he pressed your head harder into the concrete wall.

"sounds like you need to lean your place again, yeah?" he concluded.

his hand moved from covering your mouth to grabbing your chin roughly and forcing you to look at him. "been out of check for a while. ignoring me, blocking me, avoiding me, wanting to take a break from me? i think you have lost your mind, baby" he said as his fingers forced their way more into your skin.

"leave me alone-!" you tried to say before he pushed you roughly on the ground, you hit your tail bone, and he came in between your distraught legs and leaning over you. his rough hands came in contact with your body, tugging and pulling on your clothes. he ripped your blouse, and the bottons popped everywhere. he flipped uo your skirt so the waist band was up your tummy.

why would he leave you alone when you just look edible.

"ryomen- i asked you for a break for a reason!" you screamed at him as you tried to cover your body. you tried to grasp the last bits of your dignity, but as soon as he cupped your cunt through your underwear, it was left for good.

why would you ever want a break from him..?

the chase from the back of the alleyway and the adrenaline from him holding you against the wall made you wet. it turned you on that he was willing to chase and catch you.

he smirked as he slid your underwear to the left and slid a thick finger in between your soaked fold before finding your clit and pressing harshly into the little nub.

"uhh-" you groaned at the feeling, he went hard and rough, not caring if it didnt hurt or not. you squirmed as your hips jerked and tried to scoot away from the stimulation.

he put his other hand on your hip, pulling you close as his fingers dipped lower and probbed at your entrance. "youre about to be in for a ride, you little bitch." he growled and forced his two dry fingers into your cunt, immediately finding your g-spot and abusing it.

your back arched as your thighs came up to your chest and closed around his arm, "Ryomen- please! I cant do this.." you whined out as your hips grinded against his fingers.

he smirked over you as you whined and arched your back, "cmon' cunt- cum for me" he demanded. he pressed a thumb into your clit, rubbing it as he fucking your cunt wet.

as you were recovering from one of your intense orgasams, he looked over you. his eyes drifted from your blissed out face to your shivering torso to your trembling thighs and hips. he licked your liquids from his fingers and slotted himself between your thighs.

why would you ever leave him when he is just perfect for you?

"time for the main event, yeah baby?" he snickered and started unbuckling his pants, unzipping them and pulling his underwear under his ballsack. he grabbed your calf and held it up by his head as he leaned in and stuffed his face into your sweaty neck.

his large mushroom tip nudged your entrance, and you tensed up as he started to push in. he was reforming your insides just to match around him, "cmon, whore... take it all.." ryomen groaned into your neck. he resisted the urge to bite into you as he listened to your sobs.

he raised back on his haunches when he bottomed out and quickly set a rough pace. your pleas and little whines only egging him further the more your worked up.

he let go of your leg to rest on his shoulder and started to grope your tits, kneeding them in one hand while tweaking one in another.

"youre being rough, ryomen! ugh- be gentle.." you whimpered. he shook his hand as he smirked and started to actually plunge into you. thrusting his hips and pulling you back by your tits as leverage.

plap! plap! plap! was the wet sounds of his balls hitting your ass.

he only sped up as he got lost in the pleasure, chasing his and fucking you complete stupid. your neck stretched as you felt another orgasm take over you and your mind felt blank. only thinking about ryomen, ryomen, dick, dick, ryomen.

he saw your face and shook his head and took one hand from your tits to the front of your head and forced your head to look at where hes fucking you open at. your back in an awkward yet painful position as you started to groan.

"you can't escape me, your morsel. you belong to me! i will kill you before you ever get any other thoughts of trying to leave me again. I control you. You are mine."

left unfinished cs ive gotten lazy and unmotivated. let me know what you think !!

toxic!sukuna part 1

toxic!sukuna part 2

revenge on toxic!sukuna

@aizawasbarb

[vikcacao]

Dude you gotta stop giving me such good answers because my brain chews them up and starts BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS sob

Also my bad for not sending these earlier I have had them ready since like Monday but…. School😔

Kakabfkskxbxhdh okay okay ALBINO GOJO!? THATS SO COOL!!!! How does his albinism affect him? Like does he have trouble seeing? Or like regulating his body temperature? Do Arctic mermaids have more fatty tissue to fend off the cold, like seals do?

YOUR RELIGION STUFF IS SO INSANE!! I love that you thought sm about it. Do mermaids have creation myths? Do mermaid myths vary region to region? Do epics and songs exist about figures in their mythology/religion? This might sound a little insane but do story archetypes exist in mermaid culture? Actually, how big is oral story telling in their cultures ( assuming they don’t have a written language)?

If a juvenile mermaid is orphaned, do other pod members take in the orphans? Are orphans viewed positively or negatively? If an entire pod died besides a juvenile, would another unrelated pod take them in? (Kinda morbid but I wanna know everything lol)

The fact that mermaids view planes as a variant of birds is so funny to me, like “oh, there goes the southwest bird, how majestic.” (Since planes sometimes crash do they just think some birds are rolling around with legendary loot? And do they prey on waterfowl?) I feel like it’s not that hard to sneak up on them.

TIGER SHARK YUUJI!!!!! I lowkey forgot he exists but do you have a ref sheet for him? I would very much like to draw him :]

Does Megumi have any piercings? Do mermaids have a third eyelid? What do mermaid maps/calendars look like? Do they follow a different month schedule than humans? (How do they count years, now that I think of it?) Do they have events that surround the eclipse or blood moons? I’m going feral about those mermaids and the moon things sorryyyy

Anyway I think that’s all I have rn !!! Thank youuuu :33 (ps, I have a piano lesson Wednesday wish me luck lmfaooo cause I may be slightly slacking on my practice)

ahhhhhhhh yayyyyyy lol

this is gonna take me a hot second to answer, sorry if this takes like a day lmao. each sorta segment is gonna be numbered bc i'm lazy <3

1 ----------

Gojo is albino, and yeah it affects his vision and his skin. That's why he hangs out (and married) deep sea mermaids, since they live in darker parts of water they don't rely so much on sight, and the sun is less intense.

artic mermaids commonly are much bigger and have shorter tails than other races of mermaids. Gojo is around double the size of Megumi, but in terms of length they're actually around the same. Bigger bodies means more tissue, and my little doodle of Gojo made him pretty thick, too lol.

the bigger bodies thing is inspired from the fact (?) that large marine animals live in the Antarctic. I learned this a while ago, so take it with a grain of salt on how true that is. But still, artic mermaids are on average the largest race of merfolk

2 ----------

Yes, myths and stories vary depending on region, but the characterization of the god/goddesses remains relatively consistent. and yeah, stories/myths/epic all exist, as well as story architypes.

there are creation myths, like merfolk kind being hatched from pearl the goddess of the ocean created/birthed. Or that the goddesses of the ocean and moon came together with two halves (one marine and one "human") to create the first mermaid. The most common theme is that the goddess of the ocean is sorta like the mother of mermaid kind lol

oral story telling is a big thing, most stories are told via word of mouth. BUT merfolks do have written languages, many of them since the written language changes alongside the verbal language. Very important stories get written down, but it's a time-consuming labor of love since it requires lots and lots of carving and safe keeping of the tablet (do avoid erosion lol)

3 ----------

HOLY SHIT ORPHANS ARE LOWKEY SO IMPORTANT TO THIS FIC LMFAO, since Megumi is an orphan.

when orphaned, the child loses their surname and instead it gets replaced by their birth regions word for orphan, where Megumi is the word is "Fushiguro"

yes it's very common for the first pod an orphan stumbles upon to take in the child, if the pod can't care for the child in the long term, then they will protect them until they find a suitable pod.

orphans are deemed really important actually, especially if they're foreign. When they come of courting age, they'll leave their birth region and travel as far as they possibly can to court and mate with distant mermaids. They help with genetic diversity, which is why they move so far away (to prevent accidental incest).

orphans are the only group of merfolk to travel such large distances solo, but it's customary for pods to temporarily allow adult/traveling orphans to rest/eat with them so they survive the journey.

i'm so glad I got a question about orphans ngl, since orphan culture in mermaids is one of the few universals (and like I said, really important to Megumi's character)

since the purpose of an orphan's move is to prevent incest, Megumi getting with Yuuji is allowed since there is no way in hell they're related. They're different species lmfaooo

4 ----------

Birds are a part of mermaid diets, mainly surface mermaids since they live near the surface (duh lmao).

I can see deep sea mermaids actually being kinda scared of birds, since plane crashes rest against the ocean floor and that would kinda freak out the mermaids that live there lol

5 ----------

I'll reblog this with mermaid Yuuji's ref sheet and colors soon !!!! I don't have them rn, so give me like an hour (I'm writing this between classes and don't have my ipad atm lol)

6 ----------

Megumi has no piercings, but yeah mermaids do have third eyelids.

they don't really have maps, since it would take too long to carve them. They just memorize underwater currents like people memorize roads and shit lol

mermaid Calanders are pretty much 100% dependent on the stars. Months are counted depending on which constellations are visible, and so they also have a way to count years when they constellations cycle. I haven't look too much into calanders, but I assume the months are different from human months bc of the star thing lol

((I guess that would mean multiple mermaid months could happen at the same time ???? Like when multiple constellations are visible that means it's multiple months/seasons. If that makes sense lol. ))

((idk how constellations work.....))

Yes, they have events around blood moons and weird celestial shit lol. Mainly lots of story telling and special actions like taking a day of rest or hunting for the full day. Stuff like that. They're more common among surface mermaids since they're the ones who commonly see and are affected by the sun and moon lol

thank you for asking so many questions !!!!!! and good luck on your piano lmao

when I played an instrument (clarinet lol) I never practiced. I was also very bad. My reed was always flat lmfao

[lokideservesahug]

For How Long!?!- Extras

Extra 3: First Impressions (and do-overs)

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Pairings: Logan Sargeant x reader (not yet romantic)

Warnings: None that I can think. Young Y/N is a bit of a dick?

Notes: I love this series sm...so here's another extra! Also apologies for any spelling mistakes

Summary: Y/L/N and Sarge first met at 13 and 14... and did NOT get along well at all. Does that change when they re-meet a few years later?

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

It was hard being a woman in a male dominated field. I mean sexist remarks and extra criticism are to be expected. But the amount of attention you received? It was nearly enough to make you quit the sport all together. But, you knew that this what you were getting into when you started karting and now that you know the feeling, there is nothing better than zooming as fast as you can around a track.

Despite the regular criticism, one thing that the spectators had to admit was that you were good. Like really good. You were only 13 and already you had a backing from one of the biggest F1 teams' junior programmes (how you managed that, you're not quite sure).

You were happy with the rate in which you were going; winning race after race (and if not then at least scoring points). F3 was already in the discussions with your name thrown around. Maybe you'd even be racing there already... if there weren't age limits that you were yet to hit for another few years.

You were comfortable. Until HE came along. Logan Hunter Sargeant. The most stereotypical American you could ever imagine. You didn't hold a grudge at first, you never did. When you went to speak with him and shake his hand after his recent promotion into the WSK series, you were actually quite excited to meet him. Despite being constantly surrounded by men you weren't used to seisng anyone so...pleasant looking (he also wasn't unattractive to your 13 year old self's brain).

However, when you bounced out of your seat and introduced yourself whilst holding your hand out, he just stared, slack jawed. Gosh he really was just like everyone else. Surely it's not that outrageous to see a woman here. I mean the sport is getting much more diverse!

So disheartened and slightly upset, you turned way and grunled a quiet "Ok then" under your breath as you walked away.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Logan didn't mean to react like that. He just couldn't help it. He'd heard of you, everyone had. The youngest woman currently dominating the lower levels of motorsport. Everyone spoke about the Y/L/N girl with the super bright future. Yet, everyone failed to mention how pretty she was. By the time he realised his worldless, opened mouth state, it was too late. You and already started to furrow your brows, frown and turn away.

When his brain and body had finally resyncronsied, it was too late. You had walked off and he was left feeling. Well like a complete jerk.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

He had tried many times to re-introdice himself as time went on. But unsurprisingly to protect yourself, you had made a judgement and stuck to it.

However, Logan was adamant. He tried again and again to make you at least talk to him.

However as time progressed and you got promoted into F3 and then F2, he was left only questioning what could had he have introduced himself differently on that fateful day.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Being 17 was quite an interesting age for what you did as a 'hobby' you thought. You were old enough to have shown your talent and solidified your place as a good driver. However, you were not old enough to actually be able to drive in Formula 2, per the Fia's age regulations (you were still upset that you missed out by only a few months).

You can't really remember what you thought when you heard that Logan Sargeant was being promoted to F2. Maybe a small "good on him" fluttered through your mind before quickly being squashed by a thought of "is he still the same?"

The awsner to that was no; he was not the same. He'd grown exponentially and now borderline towered over you. He actualy looked like he belonged on the scene- and had his eyes always been that dreamy? Wait, you couldn't get caught up in these thoughts.

For all you knew, he was still the young 14 year old boy that just stared when you excitedly first greeted him with your hand stuck out and a smile plastered on your face. Not unlike the one he had on now...

Huh?

You then actuly payed attention to your surroundings and now saw the American stood in front of you with his hand stuck out and a slight flush on his cheeks. "Uh, hi" he said breathlessly (almost like he had rushed to get to you before you had a chance to get away).

You gave him a glance up and down. "Hi." You raised your eyebrows and continued, "Can I help you?" His eyes almost lit up at your response. Almost like he was excited that the two of you were actualy holding a conversation after all these years.

"Yeah. I just wanted to apologise" He looked down as he said the last part. "Apologise for what exactly?" You countered. You knew what you wanted his response to be but whether he had conjured up something to apologise for that you were unaware of was beyond you.

"Well I'm not sure if you remember when we first met." Oh you remember. For some frustrating reason it had plagued your mind on many nights. "But you introduced yourself and I just kinda stood there and didn't say anything...like at all. And I've felt really bad about it for many years and I've tried to make up for it so man-" "Hey" you laughed at his clearly passionate yet worried rambling "It's fine. You've apologised. That's all that matters."

And there it was again. That same slack jawed expression that he sported all of those years ago. You almost had the urge to laugh at the obscurity of the situation or even roll your eyes when he mumbled out "That's all it took?" What was he talking about? "After all of these years That's all I needed to say?" Now he looked almost hurt...

"Well no." You spluttered out. Did your avoidance of him really have that much of an effect on him? "Well I mean..." Maybe your avoidance was a good thing if he reduces you to a spluttering mess after one conversion. You released a sigh of resignation and then apologised.

"Look I'm really sorry for how I reacted because clearly it wasn't enjoyable for either party." The last part made his eyebrows rise as you continued "I'm just so used to having that reaction for the wrong reasons so I never really gave you a chance to explain yourself. So, like I said, I'm sorry. Can we possibly start over again?"

That got him to smile and oh if it didn't make your heart flutter. You took his turned up lips as enough of an awnser and stuck your hand out like you did those many years ago and tried again. "Hi I'm Y/N Y/L/N. It's lovely to meet you." This mouth then split into a wide grin and at that you found yourself doing the same. "Well it's a pleasure to meet you Y/N. I've heart a lot about you."

"You didn't say your name!" Your fake whisper caused him to let out a breathy chuckle and he corrected himself. "My Bad, I'm Logan Sargeant, the newest driver." After you exchanged a handshake you began to giggle at the obscurity of the situation.

Four years ago you would have been appaled that you 'forgave' the man after just one conversation. But as he joined in in your laughter and the two of you became hunched over with giggling, you couldn't find it in you to care.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

I miss these 2.

As always, Likes, reblogs and especially feedback are always welcome!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection

[maxintime]

LISTEN im going to talk about how wednesday AND tyler galpin deal with emotions similarly (and why theyre neurodivergent, actually)

Tyler and wednesday deal with emotions in a similar matter, by rejecting it. Tyler has a dad who actively rejects his own emotions and unable to process the grief of losing his wife. Tyler in turn, ended up unable to process his own and whenever he feels angry he uses his hyde to lash out to anyone he can blame (xavier at first with destroying his mural and then after laurel's manipulation the whole nevermore). He uses the hyde as a medium to clear out his rage

Wednesday also rejects her emotions, ever since she found out that showing emotions = doesnt change anything, she stopped showing it altogether. But like tyler, she feels it very deeply and is unable to cope with it in a healthy way (hence pushing everyone who tries to get close to her away)

And the only THE ONLY person that she lets in, is tyler, another person who also cant regulate their emotions well

It makes their dynamic more interesting when they deal with their feelings towards each other throughout the show (although tyler was putting on a mask most of the time). With tyler's mask completely off in the next seasons they can truly help each other, wednesday possibly helping tyler control his hyde, tyler helping wednesday accept her emotional side by her letting herself care for someone (outside of her favorite family members)

@cupoteahatter help point out (thank you sm btw 😭) that wednesday and tyler have the same kind of reaction to their anger, they square their jaws and suppress the tears

[latibulater]

You mentioned brusty prompts and my mind is R A C I N G. Don’t wanna send you too much so first thing that popped into my head:

First time parents Brusty bc I love the Venture family sm and the thought of big tough Brock with a baby makes my heart melt.

I realise that is too fluffy for these two and not so deep but 🥺

thanks for sending this in! i really wasn't sure how to end it so it's a little abrupt lol

___________

Brock's training had prepared him for mechanized animal fights, deep cover operation, endurance under torture, and how to outsmart the enemy before stepping on the field. He scrunched his nose as he wiped the throw-up off his sweater. He thought his days of spit-up were behind him after his younger brother grew up, but here Brock was again: stinky and wet.

Dean gurgled from his high-top chair, smacking his plastic yellow-red rattle against the new furniture. Brock picked the fifteen-month-old out of the chair and Dean trilled excitedly. "Brbbs! Uewe!"

Brock threw out the used paper towels, glad that Doc wasn't around. He had ignored his earlier warning about using a rag, and wasn't in the mood to listen to his nasal crowing.

"Yeah, kid, we're going to get changed. You made a mess - again."

Dean yawned and rested his soft head on the messy shoulder. Fresh strands of strawberry blonde hair brushed Brock's face, catching in his stubble. His heart clenched. His walk stayed smooth, refusing to jostle the boy in his arms.

"You're okay, I gotchu," he told the drowsy babe. After eating, Dean got tuckered out and always went for a nap. "Clothes then sleep, little man."

They rounded the corner and into the nursery, where Doc and Hank were sitting on the floor.

"-if I could get the regulators to function, then all I'd have left to fix is the capacitors but I'm not sure where I'm going to find the parts-"

"Ewaha!" Hank informed his dad, grabbing a wooden block and throwing it against the floor. Doc nodded, his ginger hair lit warmly by the lamp lighting.

"Exactly what I thought, Henry."

Dean babbled back, eager to be included in the conversation. Doc's shiny dome whipped around, his startled look easing when he saw who it was. "Ah! The carrots went over well?" Then he squinted underneath those tinted yellow frames, and smirked. "I guess not for both of you."

Brock rolled his eyes and set Dean in his crib. He turned on the airplane mobile and faced back to Doc. He crossed his arms.

"When are you going to sell to Impossible?"

A thunderstorm roiled over Doc's easy expression. "Not now," he hissed.

"The supply closet is getting pretty low, and last I checked the V.I. account was hit bad after sending sorry-cash to the families of the workers on Gargantua."

Doc stared at the bright blue carpeting, refusing now to meet his bodyguard's eyes. Brock sighed, sitting down next to him. Henry continued playing next to them, currently swooping a triangle block in the air and babbling.

"Look, I know it's the last building your father worked in before he died, but he's not going to come back and ask after the company headquarters. Hank and Dean... they need diapers now. They're here now."

"You think I don't know that," Doc whisper-yelled. Hank glanced at them curiously and Brock conceded.

"Okay, later then. C'mon, Hank," Brock swept the baby up in his arms. "We're going to go watch the Vikings game. Let me know when you want to actually be serious for once," he told Doc before walking out.

[neptunescore]

Kinda off topic, but do you think that people forget that F1 is BOTH a drivers championship and constructors? People complain that certain drivers are washed and if they had a different car they wouldn’t be as successful. I saw Zak Brown (I hate him sm, I don’t even have a valid reason I just do LOL) say how Max is great but he wouldn’t win championships without RedBull dominance. But isn’t that the point? Almost every championship was won by a championship level car. That’s how dominance happens BECAUSE it’s whichever team is the best at the regulations. It’s literally why FIA always changes the regulations, people expect we’ll see a drivers true form when they are in a different car. Also he said how Lando would match Max in a straight fight and… I’m sorry to say but their grids when they began were two different worlds. I respect Lando as a driver and person (I did question his comment on the Orange but it is whatever, no one knows if it was for PR or out of his own mouth) but we have literal past champions and experts talking about the driver’s expertise. I’ll admit the car is a huge play (maybe like 70%) but the driver is who makes the difference. A good example is Lewis. I love him but everyone knows Mercedes downfall. He showed how much the car plays a role but also how good the driver has to be. We’ve seen him in China sprint be able to get second place because of good setup from the team and because he was able to make that difference. You can argue for many drivers such as Seb, Kimi, hell maybe add Max when he didn’t have the best car on the grid, they all won races even without the best car. Even if those wins were through safety cars or just plain strategy, which is something some teams really struggle in. McLauren happened to be the best car in Miami and had a good start (dare I say luck too) but you can also see from the other teams that everyone was struggling. No one improved their times Q3, a lot of complaints about the cars not being right. This is turning into a Zak Brown hate speech now but I think it’s important that he realizes for Lando to matchup with top drivers like Max or Lewis he needs consistency. Something that drivers such as Charles is good at. He’s still young and he has time but currently? He doesn’t stand a chance in equal machinery, different from what Zak previously stated.

Sorry for my rant!! I went off topic myself but I just think a lot of people in the media (cough twitter) forget how many teams care about the constructors championship more than the driver’s one. No one is a car merchant because there is no way you can make the car’s equal in all fields. Even if the driver isn’t the most important bit their expertise is what makes the difference!

...heyyy (im so sorry it took me so long to answer this ask anon😭, I swear I would've done sooner but at that point all of my asks were just hate crimes and I was NOT feeling the vibe. I'm back now!!!❤️🤗)

But anyway, YOURE SO RIGHT NONNIE. Ugh and this is smthng that acc makes me so irritated sometimes, bc in the end, f1 is more business than it is sport and teams NEED sponsors. I feel like alot of ppl forget that, like the drivers and teams literally DO have to pay to remain in the sport.

This means that the whole point of a team is to build the absolute best of a car they can, especially for teams at the top (rbr, ferrari, mclaren, mercedes), bc that's what the sponsors want. That's what the drivers WANT. They WANT a dominating car. They WANT a car that's 1 second ahead of the wholeass grid. They WANT that. And if top teams don't deliver that then yes, they ARE gonna lose both drivers and sponsors.

I feel like so many fans forget that f1 is literally the MOST competitive sport. No driver wants to be out there in equal machinery. They just want to WIN. Sponsors don't care how competing cars have been beaten, they just want the team they've picked to be ON TOP.

Now, away from all the money talk, fans who put EVERYTHING a driver achieves on to the 'car' just piss me off. You literally cannot be saying that. You cannot be saying max's dominance is only bc of the car when this man has a 20 SECOND GAP to the next car, while his teammate is literally fighting to make it to q3. Like please. Go look in the mirror and think abt ur comments bfr they leave your mouth😭. Monaco also proves that so well, the redbull car was absolute SHIT there, and max still managed to put it up in p6.

Who is not a Zak brown hater in this economy nonnie😌✊🏽, dw I completely get u. Literally no points to add to that bc everything uve said is so right. I feel like Zak just puts lando on a pedestal that lando has NOT achieved. There's still a long way for lando to go, and while I am happy for him and his first race win – Zak brown immediately saying lando is a championship competitor right after it is just hilarious to me😭. Like slow down bro, chill.

All in all, consistency is KEY. And literally not one driver wants to be in a car that's the same as their competitors.🤗

Edit: also nonnie, can I ask who ur fave team/ driver is?? I just like the way you talk and I wanna know so bad now.

[polarized-here]

POLAR I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR OCS AND SEE THEIR CONCEPT ART‼️ please I need food, I need to eat your art sjdhhsjdhsj /lh

GRAHH FINE SINCE YOU ASKED… my lore. Sorry this is so late gngahgahshsjsh… you literally caught me as dinner came home. Like. Oops… crazy… right after I knocked out shekhrkdbddmbd anyway! :)

Under the cut because it may or may not be a long thing, with most plot points just being little ideas—no fully fleshed story, just, erm. Ideas I like.

Update. It’s long. Also tumblr is so glitchy rn it kept making this saved post disappear and then reappear in my asks after I exited the app and opened it again what the fuck 😭😭

So, in this world, a majority of the population do. Not. Have powers, having them is seen as a blessing, But… It's a dystopian themed world—where these powers are incredibly monitored and regulated by the government—with some being minor, and some being full on changes to the physical body and how they manifest. (ie. My excuse for drawing anthros… or kemonomimi… shushhhh/also allows me to just dump all of my ocs which you may have seen before, in one little world and play with them like they’re my puppets :( I love them sm!! One of them sora is from DND they hold a special place in my heart...)

But again, having these powers is seen as a blessing from a God of some sort—and a curse, as while they’re regulated by the national government heavily, some individuals still manage to slip by, or cause harm to the general public, so from this, they (the gov) took advantage of this to instill a system of ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’ there’s a few ‘vigilantes’ but most either become heroes (through turning themselves in and doing plenty of community service work, and discussing a contract with some government representatives—most who become heroes are never the same. They always have a look in their eyes, as if valor to help their nation has blinded them), but some may become villains.

Heroes are those who just have a license and have signed a contract with the government—most get these contracts renewed or take a small few month break in between contract renewals. They’re unable to use their powers in these circumstances, unless it’s out of self defense. Civilians can too (those not heroes, are regulated by the government heavily, and choose not to pursue it. But it’s like US NAVAL contracts too. you can join programs in the gov that give you supplemental access and benefits to college/pay it off, etc etc etc. like the national guard but more celebritized), but they (civilians) need to find a GOOD lawyer. There’s so many laws that heroes are naturally given a smalllllll pass over, that it’s just best to run away, or be a hero in that small instance.

(This has sm mha influence. As sad as it is, that show influenced me sm. Got me into trying art. Fr fr/on digital. PLA is just where it improved a weeee bit).

OKAYYY ENOUGH AGOUT THE SET UP!! THE CHARACTERS… I’m so sorry idk why I’m rambling this much, I’m not even hyperfixated on my own OCs. Like what the fuck.

Anyways! A key note is that having bright colored hair is a key identification that you probably have powers that haven’t manifested yet, and the hair is always a bright color, unless, you’re Astor!

He’s got so much trauma *slaps roof of car.* You can fit so much trauma in this one bad boy. And despite it all he remains a good person. Dawg. You have more strength then I’d ever have. But igggg the want and need to help people because you were hurt and want to make a change does seem motivation enough… anyways. They’re so marysue coreee

The main character & a small-time vigilante going to the new school that’s just been set up. His hair only really turns those bright colors when she’s using their powers—but in the ref it’s just for convenience sake. She has so many skeletons in her closet, that they can’t risk being caught. But they love helping people too much. They’re a bit altruistic.

Here’s their vigilante suit ref :)

For ease of mind, they always have a small bit of static on their hands—both to stun new people meeting them. To make the air feel charged with thunder and electricity—a warning to her presence, and because it means their hair stays that color. No matter the charge. His eyes stay the same color though. Again. These are some old doodles from last year of some characters. Notably, that I also revamped. Heroes, villains, and vigilantes stories always hold a special place in my heart,,,

Next up is Anzu! Silly goober!!! Please give him head pats!!!! He loves it!!! This is Astor’s only… real friend. Since Astor likes his solitude. But tolerates Anzu’s silly behavior. Utter dichotomy between them!!! <333 I haven’t decided if they’d get together or nah, but! <3333

Yeah, this guy (and Astor) both have autism (I didn’t even realize that him liking trains was an autistic stereotype… oops. Mb gang. But like. Seriously. Ywah didn’t mean anything by it. I’m autistic myself and I’m possibly pursuing physics or engineering 💪💪 I think it’s alr if I project onto a character I made 🔥🔥🙏)

Yes, he’s based on the irl dinosaur. Yes, he’s autistic, hear me out. I just put lots of things together. And he just ended up with major tism 🔥🙏

And finally, a hero I designed :) I changed her a weeee bit. But she’s mostly the same sand manipulation :) villains dislike her since she puts sand in their shoes. Her big container is full of sand and stuff. She doesn’t have a weakness other then she needs to be a bit concentrated on making her sand creations—but they’re like second nature to her because of how long she’s been a hero. She’s an antagonist only because she’s trying to take Nexus in. She sees how sweet she can be to the native cats (from a distance. Never touching them, and she never knows why, they look at the native cats, longing to pet them but always stops) so she wants to take him in and make a case for him to join the government’s hero program.

Arizona! But her hero name is Sahara yk… Yeagh…. Anyways :) I love her lots. She does mean well. But she’s also blindly faithful in the government, or will see its problems and will deflect or try to be better to make things right. But she always holds rules above anything else. Even if she cares about someone who’s breaking them, a lot, so yeah… totally not talking about the mentor and mentee relationship between her and Nexus… where she pushes her morals aside just to listen to him seldom talk about his intrepid interests.

If Nexus didn’t have those powers—in her opinion—she would’ve made an excellent leader in whatever field he’d want to pursue. And she knows he’s got something up with them—some history. And that breaks her heart a little seeing how much pure joy Nexus gets at being able to try new things, like new foods, or try out purely common things that should be normal to a kid like herself.

Very much love found families and going to the extreme for them :33

ANYWAYS!!! Those are the main 3. I have some others I’ll show. But yk. They look a wee bit different + have names labeling them and the key parts of them. I don’t think tumblr would like me dropping all their refs :,)

Actually :O hold on, their refs are here. Trust

I’m so smart for pasting them all here. Trust anyways. Those are my pookies, so sorry this took so long.. erm I like them a lot. Oh yeah, I made a comic with them for art class. Yeagh. They were mostly changed for ease of drawing but yeah. I did not want to do it but I had not wanted to do this 🚬🚬

But yeah, pookies…. Sorry you probably didn’t want this comprehensive lore about them grrr

[dojae-huh]

I’ve been a fan of nct since debut and I’m very angry about what happened. The members work so hard since debut to build a nct brand name today but now the name has been tarnished because of one person’s wrongdoing (again). Now they have to try hard again to clean the name so it’s not associate with sex criminal. I have to praise sm this time on how the company handled the media to lessen the impact to the brand name, but it’s still a very disheartening situation.

I hope everyone is doing ok and may we all find our happiness.

Netizens and antis (and often fans as well) don't distinguish between cases brought to court and rumours. For example, for the first few years knets refused to listen to NCT because of the accusations against Taeyong, the leader. There is probably no k-pop group that wasn't involved in a scandal, fake or real. Look at Jaehyun. He was assosiated with the actress from his 1st series and her bullying scandal, later with the breaking covid time regulations case. Brands and magazines avoided him for a year or so. Now they line up in queue.

Taeil was stripped of the NCT name, because he wasn't worthy of it anymore. Not the name tarnished. The way you look at things changes them. Your own attitude and the attitude of NCTzens matter as well.

Peripera's new ads and the episode Jae participated in for promo content were posted on schedule today.

Of course, there will be a lot of work for everyone (members and staff). There are already news about NCT future plans under re-evaluation. All the songs recorded for upcoming albums will need to be re-recorded, fanmeets cancelled, etc. (Walk recording vlogs and other bts probably weren't uploaded because of the case. And not lack of editors). However, building-up the brand name, "cleaning it" never stopped, it's an ongoing process. The real issue is the psychological shock for the neos and the staff. Their mini-world they had lived in for the past 10 years has upturned.

[signanothername]

A number nine for the rb bots please

Ooooh yessss

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

I already loved all of them from the beginning, but the scenes that just made me go “i will fucking die for you” are these

Heatwave: s1 ep2 “Under pressure”

I think the scene that immediately made me love HW so damn much is when he and Kade were on their way to the intersection in the mines under GR to stop the lava from reaching Cody

And before they could reach the intersection there was a wall of rocks in their path, Kade freaks out (rightfully so) cause he thinks they won’t be able to go through to save his lil bro, then comes HW asking Kade to get back in his cabin, HW then proceeds to drive as fast as he can to smash through said wall

What genuinely matters to me tho is the moment after, when Kade asks how he knew it would work, and HW’s reply? “I didn’t”

So HW did something that he knew had a 50% chance of working and a 50% chance of it ending with him probably really hurt, yet he did it anyway

And not only did he get Kade’s respect, but mine too <3333

———

Boulder: s1 ep8 “walk on the wild side”

The entirety of episode 8 has been an absolute delight to watch, it gives us an amazing insight to Boulder’s personality and how he perceives things, but the scene that just gave Boulder a special little place in my heart is the very last scene in that episode when Cody gives him the plant

It’s super short but it’s such a wholesome scene that made my heart melt and Boulder’s enthusiasm after taking the plant will forever be integrated into my heart ugh i love this soft boi sm 😭❤️🌷✨

The way his curiosity and gentleness shines in such a short moment is just chchvjvjvjjvjv

———

Chase: s1 ep16 “Rules and regulations”

That entire episode is a love letter to all Chase fans (including me) it had such an amazing plot line and it gave us a situation in which Chase is on his own to deal with what could be an emergency, yet it also gives us an insight in which Chase’s obsession with rules might be a dividing factor between him and the team

But it was really interesting to see how Chase would handle contradictory commands, cause he has to deal with 2 orders, Charlie’s order to not follow them to Griffin Crest under any circumstance, and Heatwave’s order to go anyway after Cody’s call

And so Chase ends up following HW’s command of going, but the moment they reach the border Chase stops completely per Charlie’s command

Idk that entire episode is just dhhxhxhhxh i love it sm

———

Blades: s1 ep3 “Hotshots”

This episode made me have so much respect for Blades, especially when Blades is hit by lightning and loses control and his ability to fly

Blades’ routers are literally in his legs and you can tell how badly damaged they are by simply looking at them, so now when he’s in bot mode his legs are hurting and you can hear it in his voice, it becomes quite and meek, compared to his usual energetic and loud voice, the way he speaks also changes and he speaks a lot slower too, it was painful to see him in that state

And what does the amazing boi do? He literally climbs a cliff to get Cody and Dani on a higher ground away from the flames, he literally does it while really hurt

Then you realize how severe the damage is not only to his legs but to Blades himself when he tells Cody and Dani that not only did he lose the ability to transform, but to move entirely

It’s like LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT- the boi literally is severely hurt yet he does his job as a rescue bot with zero complaint IM-

Just respect, so much respect man I love him so much 😭❤️🌷✨

———

Hightide: s3 ep18 “Turning the tide”

His entire episode is easily a one way ticket to loving this grandpa fr, but I think the scene that melted my heart and gave Hightide a special little warm place in it is the very last scene in the episode when he tells OP the rescue bots “got the right stuff”

But the exact moment is when he specifically compliments Blades just HDVDHDJSJJSHD

Like i want you to understand that we see Hightide treating anxiety induced Blades very roughly for the entire episode, and while he treated everyone the same, his focus was almost solely on Blades, and while I completely understood that HT wasn’t simply an asshole doing it for no actual reason, I was still ready to throw hands if he didn’t at least acknowledge Blades’ effort into doing his job

Then you have HT specifically adressing Blades’ (and only Blades’) efforts at the end of the episode and that’s why I’m now obsessed with Dadtide and Blades <33333

———

Quickshadow: S4 ep4 “Plus one”

This woman immediately found a spot in my heart the moment i saw her, but the scene that just made me go yep that’s ma girl is when she basically tells HW his stance is bad wheeze

The thing is, QS is great at insulting people without actually insulting them/ appearing polite while doing so, and damn do i want her social skills hcchchhc

The way everyone was so damn shocked when she insulted HW was priceless, no one stands up to HW most of the time and they especially don’t mess with him, yet here you have QS doing what everyone else fears to do chuchchchc

———

Blurr: S3 ep 22 “A new hero”

Oh my god that scene when he took the Sigma back to intercept the falling satellite there was a 50% chance his reckless (as always the boi has to be reckless <333) decision was gonna get him killed

The way Blurr is adamant to save GR and how he’d even joke by saying that he wouldn’t have to face HW after Boulder tells him he might get killed, only for HW himself to try and talk Blurr out if it only for Blurr to pull a “oh I can’t hear you! bad communication!!!”

ALL THIS, is before he even became an official rescue bot mind you, he literally didn’t even have the rescue bots insignia on at that point

Needless to say, it’s one of my favorite scenes not only of Blurr but in the entirety of the show <3333

Leaving the entire scene hear in video form rather than gif cause it deserves spotlight

———

Salvage: s3 ep20

Honestly Salvage is the type of character that immediately finds its place in your heart and that’s how it was for me, but I believe the scene that just made me go HHDHDBZJBDJZJSHZJSHJSJS is when Blurr’s BS is revealed as a lie and Salvage remembers what actually happened on their own ship

You see how hurt Salvage is over it, but just how he immediately forgives Blurr afterwards? I just- AAAAAAAHHHHDBJDJXBXJJDJDH I LOVE THIS KIND BIG HEARTED BOI SM

The way he says “but even so…” his tone is still hurt but he just can’t seem to truly hate Blurr for it, like, Salvage had every right to beat the living spark outta Blurr right then and there, and I don’t think anyone would’ve blamed him for it, but he doesn’t, he just immediately forgives Blurr and it’s just so wholesome and it gives you an insight on how big hearted and forgiving he is <333333

Have I mentioned how much I love Salvage’s and Blurr’s relationship???? Cause it’s such an amazing and unique take on a broken friendship in need of repair and i fucking love seeing Blurr and Salvage and their moments together <333

———

Hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed rambling dbdbbdhdh

Character asks

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

Rescue Bots: Heavily neurodivergent vibes as someone who is neurodivergent myself. I personally see Blades having ADHD. My mech speaks and gets sidetracked often. However, he also is quite inquisitive about anything and everything.

The 'Bots overthink everything.

It usually is just because they are aliens on a planet, but rather they are not aware of how to act around certain people or even people in general.

I wholeheartedly agree that Chase seems calm externally, but in reality his Processor is aching with thoughts about every little thing. He will take an interest and notice every fragging thing, but he would never actually try them out. . . unless?

He makes lists. He makes lists of everything.

Boulder is oh so gentle. He loves and cares for everything. He has this fear that something may go wrong, and the reason would be because of him. He thinks—no, believes— if something goes wrong or someone is hurt, that he could somehow have overcome it. He has anxiety, so he draws to render his Processor elsewhere.

Heatwave is very uptight, but the 'Bot has a good Spark. He has some form of PTSD based on the war. In many different adaptations in the comics, he always seemed to have that harsh characteristic, but he is genuinely loving. He is just terrified that something may occur.

Blurr feels left out. It is the worst feeling. He thinks he is left out. That could be another form of PTSD as well, so he always attempts to get people's approval; despite the fact he cannot control his speaking patterns in different continuities. (I apologise if this offends anyone-)

thank u sm, sorry this has taken so long for me to respond!!

alright so first off blades gets very very emotionally invested/involved in little things. he cares too much about things being perfect. he also gets distracted pretty quickly.

chase takes everything way too seriously. he doesn't know how to interact with others in a calm environment without being extremely stilted/awkward. he also overthinks, but does a decent job of regulating it in most situations.

boulder has so much love and passion. he wears his heart on his sleeve, and gets hurt very easily. he's nice to everyone, and doesn't know how to react when people are mean to him. he's also very forgiving, which has lead to him getting betrayed repeatedly.

heatwave only feels emotions in the extremes, and one at a time. he can't regulate himself very well, and has a hard time recognizing self-destructive behavior. he has a disdain for authority figures (including optimus to an extent) and has gotten in trouble over that often.

blurr either tries too hard or doesn't try at all. he's very impulsive at an extreme level, which has hurt him and others around him. while he's getting better about it, the tendency to go first, think later will never really leave him.

salvage can get very apathetic. he loves being around the other bots and the humans, but sometimes he just doesn't feel anything. he has low empathy but his respect and compassion make up for it. his collections are very important to him, and he gets defensive about that.

hightide has ptsd. he doesn't trust anyone and can't express positive emotions like, at all. he's very afraid of change, and gets overwhelmed by others. it's why he tends to stay by himself, and doesn't make many friends.

quickshadow has empathy, but because of her work she has learned to repress it. she doesn't connect well with others, and similar to hightide prefers to be alone. this is mostly self preservation, as she does get very lonely.

hope my response suffices!! send me an ask whenever you wanna talk about rescue bots, or anything else :D

[thinkingabouttimdrake]

hi hoodie!!! how have you been?

*EXPLODES* im done with my uni deadlines!!! free at last i am now reading a book my prof recommended “arguing with zombies” by paul krugman and its been pretty funny to me pretty entertaining :D

I also suddenly watched 3 online lessons about how food freezes and its real cool i feel like im in science classes again

IVE BEEN WRITHING AGONIZING over learning chinese (trad) cuz its mandatory (my roots) but i hate it sm >:(!!! (its so hard to studyyyy im so lazy to *crying*)

ive also been thinkin about writing again…. (literally opened google docs, typed in a title and closed it 😭)

how have you been!!!! what season are you feeling (mine is summer and its hot asf with additional floods, so pretty on point for a summer) (everyday i see the threat of climate change inch closer to my daily life and no amount of recycling i do is going to stop it, not unless them government finally start preserving it with laws & regulations from corporations just wiping out miles of trees to build stuff)

what have you been thinking about lately :D

a food you’ve recently got interested in/ craved?

(some food pics i took recently wooo my fam and i discovered a new place!!)