#SO MY POINT IS THAT SHE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BE A LIL APE SHIT BEFORE THE REVEAL AND GET BLOOD ON HER

[milfhandholder]

We need to explore the possibility of butler Grell being crazy hot

[dorkylittleweirdo]

crazy shit that happened during high school

freshman year:

my favorite teacher (pe coach) ended up being a pedophile. it’s kinda scary to think about bc like,, that was my favorite teacher and i trusted him and if he tried anything with me i don’t think i would’ve stopped him and just yikes. but yeah, it was a whole thing. once the school found out they got the police involved and he fled the state. they got him in the end but i mean,, i spent a lot of time in the secretary’s office crying about it bc i really trusted that dude and i was distraught over it. that might’ve been where my trust issues started??? fun stuff

my school shut down. like i mean,, bc it was a charter school and we had to get the charter renewed. but the board at my school wasn’t using their money the way they were supposed to. it was a whole thing, like the principal left that school year bc he knew what was happening, couldn’t stop them from doing it, and didn’t want to be part of it. so they had a lot of meetings that us kids were allowed to go to so we could see what was happening and all that. i only went to one and it was A Time bc the lady who was recording everything passed tf out and of course nobody was a doctor and my pipsqueak thirteen year old ass went “i know what to do” bc i Did so i had to help her which was a trip in and of itself. but anyways, the school’s charter got denied, and everyone had to transfer, but the district promised that we could go to any school we wanted, not just the one we would have to go to by zip code

sophomore year:

i ended up going to a private christian school. big fucking mistake. absolute disaster. nothing really happened that was crazy by their standards, but it was for me

so they have a house system. think of harry potter, it’s EXACTLY like that. we have points, we have competitions, we have all that extra stuff. it was such a time, like i don’t,, i don’t even know how to explain how fucking weird that shit was

i came out in the middle of class. the principal’s daughter was our sub and she goes “okay so everyone is gonna tell us something that nobody knows about them” so when it was my turn i go “so it’s not a secret and y’all should know this but clearly y’all don’t: i’m not straight”. silence. dead silence. we could hear the class next to us it was so quiet. some girl whispers “i knew it”. another girl leans over and whispers to my friend “i’m so sorry”. principal’s daughter gives me the most threatening, condescending smile i’ve ever seen and goes “thanks for sharing”. i had to come out to my mom that same day bc i told me friends and they panicked on my behalf bc when people found out that they were gay, the principal told their parents. and i was Not about to be outed by the principal. my mom has since told me that the principal never contacted her about it so i came out for nothing but i mean i really like being out so we’re good

so instead of prom, cult school has this thing called “the ball”. sophomores, juniors, and seniors are allowed to go bc there’s less than fifty people per grade so if sophomores don’t come, there’s not enough people. so i went bc my friends were all going and i was like “yeah why not might as well”. three dance lessons. three fucking dance lessons for this stupid ball that i didn’t dance once at. i literally had three panic attacks in the span of an hour at the second one, and then i had swim practice right after. fucking exhausted. felt like i ran five marathons by the time i got home. the last lesson i didn’t do any dancing, just vibed with my friend in the corner. so at the actual ball, same friend and i vibed at the tables the whole time. we went to the bathroom for like an hour and took mirror selfies and tried to make our asses look bigger bc we’re Like That

SO AFTER THE BALL, there was apparently a massive party and there was alcohol and stuff. so my friends and i were blissfully unaware bc nobody liked us bc who tf likes the school sinners. so we walked to get ice cream after in our fucking ballgowns and suits looking like All That. so the principal thought that it was one of us who hosted the party and we were like “??? what party?”. literally almost got in trouble bc the principal thought we were LYING. i told my mom and she takes No Shit, so when the principal called her demanding to know if i went to/hosted the party, she marched her ass down to the school and was like “i know y’all have something against mexicans and people who are different from y’all, but that’s no reason to blame my daughter for something that your so called “perfect” students did”. my mom got Heated, roasted the fuck out of the principal, then LEFT. principal never fucked with my mom after that

so there was a fire like across the street from the school. the fd told us to evacuate, but noooooo the school was like “god will protect us” i’m like “okay but i’m gay and apparently your god hates that so i think we’re gonna Perish”. the fucking POWER went out and they STILL wouldn’t let us go. my mom called to sign me out so i could go wherever the fuck i wanted in the school until my friend’s dad came to pick us up bc she couldn’t get there bc of the fire. so i vibed next door to my friends’ class and i was like “heeeeey god’s trying to kill the gays” and we laughed about that until my gay ass got saved lmaoooo

okay so this is the funniest memory i have. in chemistry once, our teacher took us outside and started digging a lil hole next to the school. and keep in mind, my chem teacher used to be a hardcore atheist druggie, like fucking meth and coke and shit. took a theology course and converted. so he’s really sweet and nice but he’s also Slightly mad scientist vibes. so anyways, he puts something in this little hole, lights it on fire. i forgot why he did it, but i was standing back with him and one of the exchange students and the three of us watch in Horror as the rest of the class makes a circle around the fire and start doing some weird dance and saying something. it wasn’t like a chant, idk what to call it, but they were like counting like “and one, and two, and three, and four” and then the dance would get more intense and they’d get louder. so eventually they were screaming and going apeshit and i looked at my teacher and he’s just,, watching them do this. i’m like “and i’m satan, huh?”. like these kids really trying to summon the devil but i’m the bad one bc i like girls

junior year:

so technically this was during the summer but i’m putting it here. they have like a house party after the school year ends. i made cookies. apparently they “looked weird” so nobody ate them, two of my soon to be teachers kept insulting them. i called my mom to pick me up, took my cookies with me, got back in the car in tears. had to have a whole conversation with the principal and those two teachers so they could apologize bc i wanted to leave the school after that. dw tho, i took my cookies to the guards at my summer camp and they appreciated the hell out of them bc they were Very Good Cookies

so my ap bio teacher was an enabler. i was his favorite bc i wasn’t a religious nut and it was very obvious that i believed in science and not whatever the hell this cult was doing with their creationist bs. also he was a parasitologist and i’m super into parasitology so he had fun talking about it to someone who both understood and was extremely interested in the topic. i rolled up to class one day like “hey so i’m gonna buy hissing cockroaches from amazon, if my parents find out and don’t let me keep them do you want them??” and he’s like “yeah”. i brought them to class a few times and everyone Hated it but my teacher was like ayyyyy. and everyone thought he was either and atheist or agnostic, so when some girl asked how he thought mary conceived jesus to see what he said, he looked at me like “y’all hear somethin/hel p” and i go “parthenogenesis” and he Went With It, talking about how it was theoretically possible in humans but we ignored the fact that the baby would’ve been a girl bc the class is dumb none of them have ever heard of parthenogenesis before jesus is the true trans icon we all need

my art teacher was my favorite and she knows that i’m gay. she’s the only teacher from my school that i’m still in contact with. so every big project we did, i made it gay. and i knew, and my friends knew, and she knew, but the rest of the class had no idea. i’m like presenting my project and the class would get sus and they’re like “so are those two really good friends” and i’m like “so she has a rainbow heart on her choker and she has a lesbian symbol on her shirt”. the class was still confused and my friend yells “they’re LESBIANS”. it was iconic

my brit lit teacher was bi. she never said it, but i know she was. always talked about how much she hated men, then was like “women are very very good”. no way this woman was straight. so we read dracula and it’s got that Subtext, so one time i leaned over to my friend bc he sat next to me and i go “the Homoerotic Subtext”. and i didn’t realize that the teacher was right in front of me until she tapped my desk and goes “it gets better”, told me a page number that i flipped to, and it was Even More Gay and i was like 😏. also she assigned me a gay poet for my poetry project and i talked about that for my whole presentation in front of the class and it was the biggest paragraph in my essay and i got 100% on it even tho i choked at the beginning. also i mentioned in passing that i liked sappho and she goes “ooh i love sappho” i’m like “ma’am please leave this cult and get you a gf”

senior year:

i left the cult finally. went to the one school i actually liked. i made friends who actually like me and they were patient and they were amazing and i love them all very much even if i’ll never tell them. my classmates were great, v friendly, i had a great time. however,

so many fires. school got cancelled like five times bc of how bad the fires were

the school shooting. i don’t think i need to go further into that, it’s pretty self explanatory

covid. again, don’t need to go further into that, v self explanatory

[ratchedspeach]

Can you write a one shot about Cat and Jade being cute and in love?

Oh who am I to say no to this! Get ready for fluff with a lil bit of angst (cause I’m still me teehee) … In which Cat hates studying, and Jade has had way too much coffee

La Lune et Les Etoiles

In which Jade is an insanely passionate student, and Cat is not.

She might be the only person Cat knew that loves finals week. Jade sat cross legged on a chair, her purple-streaked curls pulled into a messy ponytail and her eyes trained on the novella La Salle de Bain by Jean-Philippe Toussaint. She had dragged Cat there to help her do research for their French final, which Cat had agreed to after enough threats to her immediate bodily safety from her morbid but mostly harmless friend. Cat hated finals - hated school in general, really, which only made her hate being in the Hollywood Arts High School’s surprisingly dull library past 1:00 in the morning on a Friday night that much more.

“Are you planning on actually reading it?” Jade inquired, taking a sip from her fourth cup of coffee since they’d been there, but never looking up from her own book.

Cat looked at the book in her own hands - Dans La Café de la Jeunesse Perdue by Patrick Modiano. They were comparing the dichotomy of French gender roles throughout the decades by analyzing famous philosophic, literary works. It had been Jade’s idea, obviously, and Cat had only gone along when she’d finally promised that she would write the paper on her own if she would agree to at least help with research.

“It’s in French.” Cat pouted, bending the corners of a few delicate pieces of paper with her index finger.

That got Jades attention. She peaked her eyes out from behind her already half-finished book, quirking an eyebrow. “So?”

“I speak English.”

“Cat, the project is for our French class.” Jade addressed, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach when she realized she knew exactly where this conversation was going.

Cat nodded, adding an airy “yeah.”

“We ... It’s supposed to be in French.” Jade folded the corner of her page down before placing the book on the desk separating the two of them. “Can you ... do you not ... Cat, please tell me you can actually speak - oh forget it.” She placated, bringing her thumb and index finger to clamp down on the bridge of her nose.

“I’m sorry,” Cat spilled, “I tried to tell you that I wasn’t very good at this.”

“Cat,” Jade cautioned, her eyes burning with an amalgam of frustration, and what Cat could only explain as ... humor...? “this is an upper level literature course. One of the requirements is speaking French. How did you even get in!?”

It earned them a hush from the librarian, which earned her Jade’s loudest, most melodramatic groan. This was all just getting to be a little too cliche for her. She had agreed to be partners with the red head because out of everyone in that class, she was the person that Jade hated the least. She had known that it would mean doing the bulk of the work - not because she thought Cat wasn’t smart; as a matter of fact when she applied herself, Jade was often shocked at what the girl had to say. No, rather she knew because she had seen Cat’s performance throughout the semester, thus knew how much she struggled with the language. She just ... hadn’t realized the full extent of it.

Cat bit her lip, averting her own gaze from the brooding girl across from her. “You sounded excited when I said I was gonna be in it. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Okay, first of all, nothing excites me.” Jade griped, ignoring the color that rose in her pale cheeks. “And second of all, I wouldn’t have told you to take it if I knew you couldn’t actually speak French!”

Cat’s usually sunny features drew into a childish glower. “You were excited.”

“Excitement is for man children.”

“Sikowitz is always excited.”

“Point and case.” She gloated with a smirk.

Jade could hold a grudge against anyone, but when she harrumphed softly, crossing her pink sweater adorned arms across of her stomach, her smiled tugged a little harder at the corners of her mouth. There was no use being angry with Cat - it was like trying to be upset with rain for falling - it didn’t know better, and neither did she.

“Look, it’s fine.” Jade sighed, rolling her eyes and pulling her hair out of the ponytail. “I’ll do the project, and Mme. Chopain doesn’t need to know a thing. I promise.”

Jade tossed her now loose curls over her left shoulder, bringing her fingers to massage the roots of her hair and tussle them softly. Cat watched, her warm caramel eyes fixed on they way her fingers skillfully moved through her dark locks. It did not go unnoticed by the goth, who felt something in her stomach flutter. She took a deep breath, pulling her fingers out of her hair and bringing both hands to cup her now lukewarm coffee mug. The library had a small vending machine which dispensed one dollar cups of the stuff, and while it wasn’t to the standard of the countless artisanal shops in the LA area, it was enough to keep her wired, and that’s all Jade really cared about.

“Thank you.” Cat intoned, the last of her pout melting away back into a sheepish smile. 

Jade watched the redhead, a flash of something warm streaking through her eyes before they settled into her usual, deliberate glare. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment as though she were about to say something, before shrugging slightly and burying her nose back in the text.

“What?” Cat queried, leaning in across the desk and placing her chin gently on her folded arms. 

Jade bristled slightly. “Nothing.” She snapped. “I’m just stressed now, that’s all.”

The other girl studied her for a moment, because it wasn’t anger she sensed in her. It was … something else. Cat worried her bottom lip between her teeth, continuing to examine Jade, who had noticed her interested, which only made the color in her cheeks rise further.

“You’re being weird.” Cat noticed airily, twisting a few pieces of hair between her fingers.

Jade’s brow furrowed. “I am not!” She exclaimed, earning her another shush from the after-hours librarian. “Shush me again, and I’ll strangle you with your dollar store wig!”

They were kicked out of the library immediately, much to Cat’s delight. The Hollywood Arts parking lot stretched drearily in front of them - a fresh blanket of mist causing it to glint in the early morning light. Cat checked her pear phone for the time. 3:13 a.m. She rubbed at her eyes before glancing at Jade, who was rummaging through her cluttered backpack for the keys to her yellow VW Bug (It would never not make Cat giggle a little to see the otherwise monochrome girl in her all-too vibrant, all-too girlie car).

“I can drive you home if you want.” Cat offered as Jade threw her bag on the ground in a fit of frustration and what she could only assume was coffee-induced adrenaline.

Jade didn’t respond. It was now her turn to press the palms of either hand to her eyes, heaving a low sigh as she sat on the curb, her legs stretched onto the empty street. Cat bit the inside of her cheek, uncertain of whether that was supposed to be a yes or a get the hell out of here. She chose to assume the former, mimicking the other girl’s movement, and sitting delicately next to her. Jade shifted slightly as she felt her friends hip graze her own when she sat down.

Cat noticed. 

“Planning on sleeping here?” She asked, only half joking, before adding, “I think my cot is still in the attic.”

Jade smiled softly. “Well I can’t sleep.” She admonished, pulling her hair back into the ponytail she had started the night in. “Too much coffee. So I might as well…”

“What?”

Jade shrugged, but didn’t respond, because honestly, she wasn’t sure. She was too tired to study, and too wired on black coffee to sleep. She hadn’t planned on getting kicked out of the library. Come to think of it, she hadn’t exactly planned on doing the work of a two-person AP French Lit exam all on her own. Jade felt the tension in her chest grow as her breath hitching dangerously in her throat, and apparently so did Cat, because before she could process what was happening, the redhead was pulling her head onto her shoulder, stroking the goth’s hair, and apologizing.

“I should’ve told you I couldn’t speak French.” Cat whispered.

She smelled like a mix of peppermint and lavender, and it made whatever anxiety was bubbling in Jade’s stomach almost completely disappear. “It’s ok.” She whispered as her breath came back to even. “I should’ve known better than to think you did.”

Cat giggled, and Jade matched her, pulling her head off of her shoulder to meet her gaze. Their laughs dissipated into a heavy silence. Cat watched as Jade’s smile fell into an uncertain glower, the light behind her eyes glinting with a mixture of deviance and … could that be … Is she scared? Cat thought, before something flared in her mind.Oh shit. Am I? Cat thought she should look away - thought that holding the gaze of her fickle friend could only lead to empty, but still terrifying threats of violence. She knew Jade.

Or … so she thought.

It caught her completely off-guard, therefore, when what came from Jade’s lips wasn’t incitements of bodily harm, when it wasn’t anything coming from them at all, but when it was just … her lips - soft, and gentle, and tasting of rose-tinted lip balm. Cat’s eyes went wide for a moment before a flood of warmth starting from her mouth and radiated through her body, and her eyes closed and she just reveled in it. They sat like that for a moment, Cat’s arms coming across Jade’s shoulders, and Jade’s awkwardly at her side as though she still wasn’t sure if she was allowed to touch the redhead.

The kiss lasted no more than a minute. Jade was the one to start it and to end it - pulling away with her eyes still closed like she couldn’t believe that she had just … that she …

“Shit.” Jade breathed, alarm sounding through her entire body. 

Cat watched her, the fingers of her left hand coming up to touch her now lips in disbelief, wide-eyed, and still warm, and wishing that she could kiss her again. “That was …”

“Shit.”

They looked at each other for a moment longer before a smile pinched the dimples on Cat’s cheeks, and Jade’s heart fluttered desperately. It scared Cat a little to see her so uncertain, because it was the very opposite of the behavior that she had come to expect from the brooding teen. She placed her fingertips on the pavement, allowing them to brush against Jade’s, and watching as her lips pursed into a tentative smile that resembled more of a smirk.

“I didn’t know you were …” Cat trailed off when the dark haired girl shook her head.

“I … didn’t really know either.” She admitted, before adding in flustered babble. “I mean, I knew, I just … I … I hadn’t planned on …”

Jade trailed off, bringing the hand not touching Cat’s to smack her forehead as she continued to fight for the right words. The redhead smiled sheepishly, her chest fluttering as she watched the other girl. The smile fell, though, when she saw the tears rimming her lash line as she desperately tried to blink them away.

“J-Jade…?” Cat pulled her hand fingers to fully lace between her friend’s (if she could still really call her that).

“My parents don’t know.” Jade whispered, sucking in a sharp, shuddered breath.

“Neither do mine.”

“Beck doesn’t know.”

“… oh.” She’d forgotten about him.

They sat in silence for a moment, Jade still holding back tears, and Cat watching her like she might disappear altogether if she so much as blinked. Their fingers stayed entangled, both of them grasping onto the other like it was the only thing grounding them to earth. Jade felt like she was flying as the mixture of angst and utter joy jumbled in the pit of her stomach. She had never thought about what her first kiss with a girl would be like. She had always known that she wanted to have one, but she hadn’t expected it to be so … gentle, so exquisitely delicate and easy. Jade realized that a large part of that had to do with who she was kissing. Cat - all smiles and sunshine and utter bliss. Jade wished it could be simple, wished so desperately that they could just kiss and have it mean nothing more, but she knew it couldn’t be left at just that. Cat, on the other hand, blinded by her positive (dare Jade say … naive?) outlook on the world, was over the moon and nothing more. Jade envied her for that.

“There’s a saying in French,” She changed the subject, eyes still fixed on the empty school lot, “la lune et les etoiles tout ensemble.” 

Cat had never heard her speak French, and it took her breath away - the way the words flowed and flickered between her teeth, and the expulsion of breath that perfected her accent.

“What does it mean?” She asked blithely.

Jade looked at her, eyes ablaze with too many different things for Cat to comprehend. She wondered how someone could feel so many things at once, how she could fit everything into her slender frame.

“The moon and stars all in one.” Jade smiled faintly, perhaps even a little sadly, before placing her head once more on the other girl’s shoulder.

Cat didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t, welcoming the contact and the warmth that once more radiated throughout her body. They sat like that until dawn, watching the stars fade into the glow of morning, and letting the rest of the world slip away.

At least for a little while.

[infinitylester]

GIF TUTORIAL

i’m finally getting around to giving the people what they want!! i hit 2.5k like 3 weeks ago and asked you guys what you would like me to do in honour of that...the resounding answer was ‘gif tutorial’ !!!! 

so!! in true dnp fashion i’m merely here to give the people what they want and the people have demanded a gif tutorial, so here it is!

we’ll be learning to how to create this gif right here!

please keep in mind that this is how i make gifs!! everyone does things slightly differently and what i say and do may not match up with other people or your own personal style and that’s okay! editing is all about creative freedoms and you may use this as a basic starter so that you can branch into your own thing or you might really like how i do things and use the same methods. point is, it’s perfectly okay either way!!

right so!! let’s get the basic bullshit out of the way! i use ps cs6 but it’s basically all the same, so this should work perfectly fine no matter what ps you use. 

1. we’re firstly going to choose our video to gif. for this tutorial, i’ve chosen pinof 10! pick a moment you like and get the timestamps from when the moment starts and finishes. i usually get a second before and a second after to make sure i’ve got it all!!

2. we’re now going to copy the url of the video and go to clip converter. clip  converter basically is going to give us an mp4 version of our little timestamps so that we can put them into photoshop and make gifs from them! paste the url of the vid into clip converter and press enter once. once you’ve done that follow my settings and press start

(of course you can name it whatever you want and put whatever timestamps you want in!!)

once it’s done converting, it’ll give you a download of your mp4 clip, which you’ll click! 

3. now open your photoshop. go to file, import, video frames to layers, like shown and select your video

once you’ve done that, put these settings in and trim the clip to your liking (the little black place holder things trim the clip!) 

4. okay so!! we now have our gif imported and open on photoshop! we have to make it much smaller because right now it’s like...huge (that’s what she said hehehe)

simply click on image at the top of your computer and press ‘image size’, like shown

then make your settings like shown

5. so that’s done!! now, we have to change the pace of our gif to be a bit slower. i make my gifs real slow apparently but,,,,,personal preference man. click on the first frame of your gif and then scroll to the end of the frames of your gif. hold the shift button and click the last frame. this will select all your frames. press the little arrow thingy near the time of the frames. this will allow you to change the pace of your gif. press other and change the timing of the gif to whatever you want! i make my gifs like 0.07 normally but for this gif, i made it 0.09 because they’re moving so fast and it was giving me whiplash. anything under 0.1 is great!!

6. cropping time! you don’t have to crop your gif if you’d like, but mine is a little big for me, so i’m going to and show you how to do that! so basically press the cropping tool and put in the measurements you’d like, as i’ve done.

7. now we’re ready to convert our gif to the timeline method! select all your frames again, like before, as well as your layers. selecting your layers is the same as selecting your frames, so nothing new there, don’t worry! once everything is selected, press this lil guy.

once our gif is in the timeline method, right click your layers that should all be selected and turn them into a smart object, as shown!

8. righty-o! we’ve done all the boring, dumb shit! time to use an action to make our gif look a little nicer and sharper! i really can’t be assed showing you how to use an action in here because i suck and this is long as fuck as it is but!! i am nice enough to link you to a basic tutorial on how to use actions and how to download them! you can find that here! right so, i use a certain action on all my gifs and then edit it slightly, which i’ll show you! you can find a download for the action i use here !!! 

i play that action and now my gif looks much nicer! however, it’s not quite the way i like it, so i push the gaussian blur layer to the bottom and i adjust the strength of it to this!

9. i lied. now we’re up to the fun part!! colouring!! colouring is my best friend and i love her dearly!! technically you could stop now and save your gif and be done but....that’s boring as fuck!

right so, colouring really, truly is your own preference, loves. you can do whatever you like, you do NOT have to follow what i put here. this is simply the colouring i chose for this gif. i do literally whatever i feel like every time i make a gif, so it’s forever changing!

i gave a bit of thought to what kind of colouring i’d do in this tutorial. did i want to do something extra basic and like...no colour changing? did i want to do something wildly vibrant? and then i decided not to do either of those things! so today, i’m going to teach you how to create a soft, almost pastel blue/purple colouring for the ap room *cough* set *cough*!! 

firstly, here is the adjustment panel where all the tools you need for colouring reside !!

we’re firstly going to start with the boring crap,,,,,so i lied again....oops. firstly, we’re going to adjust the brightness, the levels and the curves. here are my setting for each, if you’d like to copy them!

here’s how the gif looks without all our colour layers!

10. and now all that crap is done, i promise it’s actually the fun stuff!! selective colour is where all the magic happens! i sometimes do two, three or even four selective colour layers, depending on just how heavy the colour changing is going to be in my gifs, as well as using hue/saturation, colour balance and gradient maps!!

firstly, we’ll start off with our first selective colour layer! here are my settings for it (sorry for all the pics rip)

once you’ve got all those sorted, onto a hue/saturation layer! this basically drastically changes the colours, if you’d like it to but it’s not quite as accurate or smooth as a selective colour layer, so i only really use it for small things or if the colour i’d like can be acchieved nicely with it. i didn’t change anything in the master setting, but here are my settings for the things i did change!

aaaaaaaand now we do another selective colour layer! i’ll just show you the layers i did change...everything else, leave as is!!

11. next is a few gradient maps and a layer of vibrance!! i promise, we’re almost done!! i add a bunch of probably unnecessary bullshit to my gifs but i like how it looks with all the extra stuff so!!! yeah!! make your first gradient map black and white, as shown and set the opacity to 10%

next step is to create a vibrance layer! when making a bright, colourful gif, i use about two or three vibrancy layers. i never EVER adjust the saturation, only the vibrancy. adjusting the saturation makes everything too heavy and it just looks kinda icky to me. the first layer, i normaly adjust the vibrancy to 100% and the rest being between like 20-50%, depending. i just thought i’d tell you guys because that’s vital if you’re making bright gifs! 

we however are not, so i only adjusted the vibrancy to +14%, leaving the saturation alone....nasty saturation !!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaand finally, we are up to our last adjustment layer!! it is yet another gradient map oops. this gradient map is a light golden colour and i downloaded it in a pack somewhere ages ago. i do not remember where and i know that photoshop’s default gradient maps don’t have something like it so if you’d like, you can definitely just skip this last layer!! it’s not vital, i just think it gives the gif a nice touch! 

for reference, the gradient map looks like this and i set it to 6% opacity!

12. that’s it!! the gif is complete! go to file, save for web and press on that! you might have to wait a little bit for it to load...photoshop is a really shit program sometimes, guys. once it loads you’ll see all these confusing settings. simply copy what i have here!

this is also the moment i realise my gif is over 3mb and go to fucking smack my head against a desk. tumblr basically has a thing against gif makers and will NOT allow gifs over 3mb to play once posted. this can be fixed though! i’ll show you how to shorten a gif right now because well...if you followed this tutorial, you’re stuck in the same boat as me and need to know how to fix it!!

so basically save your gif as is right now! now, we’re going to open the gif we just saved into photoshop. go to file, open and select your gif. it’ll open as a frame animation which is perfect! now, delete whatever frames from the start and end that you think you can live without. never delete frames from the middle because that’ll just disrupt the gif altogether. the less frames, the better!!

i got my gif down to 40 frames by deleting the first 15 frames of the gif and the last like 6 or so. now go back to ‘save for web’ and save this shorter gif as a whole new gif! this should be under 3mb. if it is not, go cancel the save and delete some more frames!

once that’s done....you’re done!!! congratulations!! you’ve made your very first gif, my dear!!!! here’s the finished labour of your hard work!! 

i hope i wasn’t too confusing and i hope you now have a sound understanding of how to make a gif! if you’d like me to make another tutorial on something specific related to gifmaking or even to do with edits and edit-making, just send me an ask and i’ll see what i can do for you! happy giffing, loves!!

[the-first-date]

A conversation with Ashley Pecorelli [25/F/Brooklyn]

Madge Maril: So, first things first, tell us a bit about yourself — hobbies, job, dog.

Ashley Pecorelli: Well! I am a queer mental health counselor-in-training (and hope to make mental health resources accessible to LGBTQ adolescents)! Besides REAL hobbies which I definitely have (?) I enjoy watching Property Brothers with my lil dog, Mitski, thinking about the Twilight saga at all times, and using The Sims to cathart. It is way harder than I thought it would be to write something about myself wow.

MM: Real Tinder bio hours.

AP: So my Tinder bio was most recently (I guess still is) a transcript of the ticket girl video, specifically when she says that she called the police station to see if she could serve jail time instead of paying the ticket. It says all you need to know about me.

MM: I'm going to find this video and hyperlink it. Did tinder work for you? I guess "work" being that you are now in love, as I gather.

AP: https://youtu.be/EujUx_82Bxs one step ahead of you. So I guess Tinder did "work" for me! Although honestly I never felt that it was overtly working against me because when I started using it in earnest, I really wasn't looking for something in particular.

MM: Ooo, I've never thought about tinder working against us. Though I definitely think it has for me before. 

AP: I started using it right after I got out of a long, damaging relationship, dated around a bit and had fun and didn't have fun and then found someone who is also With Her (Ticket Girl). How do you feel it worked against you? 

MM: Oh no, you're turning the table!

AP: Oops.

MM: Honestly, I can readily admit that I download tinder A. way too fast after a breakup and B. to get compliments from men. I just swipe and swipe and swipe.

AP: True, it's honestly the ultimate game. Total sensory overload in one sense but in another sense also total sensory deprivation.

MM: Oo yeah. For me it's complete escapism, and I only really responded to people who were treating it the same way. So no good. But — what inspired you to first start looking for something in particular? I.e. what do you think inspired you to really pursue finding someone?

AP: Honestly, I truly did download it way too fast after a breakup, like the same day hahaha. But I guess for me the breakup was more a final escape and the first time I felt any sort of emotional (and sexual, sadly) agency, so once I got out I wanted to start exploring that as quickly as possible. I really didn't know what I wanted until I started seeing people and seeing things I did like and things I didn't — but the truly WILD thing was, even when a person and I truly just were not a good fit, I saw what healthy romance and sex is SUPPOSED to look like and understood that I had previously had no idea what the bare minimum level of being treated like a human is. Which is pretty sad and dark! But was also really exciting, to get crushes or feel NO spark or make out with a woman in a bar or have someone listen to the album you recommended them.

So all of that, the good and the bad and the platonic and not platonic, was great, in retrospect. But then I met my current partner (lol) and realized that it could be way more than just the bare minimum, and could be something I really didn't think existed. Not just love (because somehow I've never doubted love's existence) but true understanding. 

MM: Damn. Thank you for sharing that. Let's talk about those interactions — the dates. The million dollar question: What do you wear on a first date?

AP: Hell yeah now the JUICY BITS. So on a first date, I typically try to look hot (obviously) but also somehow represent myself to the other person in almost an experimental way. Like I try to put on something I myself would feel really awesome in, and if for whatever reason that's not their idea of hot, fuck them! That's my whole mentality anyway. 

My favorite first date outfit has been my black vintage T-shirt with two dragons dueling over a castle, knotted up to show a bit of not abs-abs, high-waisted black jersey peg pants (that feel like pajamas), chunky black platform boots, and whatever big weird earrings I bought on my most recent whim. If they don't like the dragon shirt, they ain't shit.

MM: Black jersey peg pants? What are peg pants?

AP: It's actually these very particular pants from ASOS.

MM: WOW these are the pants of dreams.

AP: SO comfortable, SO flattering — basically have the look of something Audrey Hepburn would wear but way more accessible and comfy.

MM: The pockets! The high rise! The cropped cut! I get it. 

AP: SO GOOD right???

MM: Do you think you also factor in what the person you're going on a date with will find hot? Do you take into account their age, gender, all that? 

AP: Oh, totally. Honestly most especially with other women, but people of all genders for sure. I think when I go to pick something out I kind of picture what I know about them (however little) and what their sensibility might be when it comes to style and aesthetics and ~hotness~. I also think the more I have felt unsure about someone or the way things are going, the harder I try to almost make up for it.

MM: Completely agree. Dating women ups the ante.

AP: It totally does! And then I think about her and wonder if she's doing the same thing.

MM: Do you wear perfume or makeup on a first date, too? (Also yes... I mean if we're all thinking it then SHE has to be thinking it, too. Right?)

AP: Yes! I wear whatever my signature scent is — I say this because I always have one, but it evolves every so often. My favorite one for over a year now has been from & Other Stories. Makeup wise, I just try to look like what I would look like on the hotter end of the everyday spectrum. Basically meaning... the addition of foundation and multiple shades of eyeshadow. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, but I've become kind of obstinate in that only I am allowed to be mean and critical to me. I can be as mean to myself as I want but either you like what you see or you don't! (Please like me.) 

MM: And that's reflected in your makeup, you think? More so than the clothing? Drop the & Other Stories fragrance name!! 

AP: Okay so it was Fig Fiction, which was such an amazing beautiful warm awesome scent! They discontinued it though (the last time I found it I bought three bottles). Now I use Sicilian Sunrise, which is pretty similar! 

I think yes, more reflected in makeup. Simply because I am almost always going to dress in a way that makes me happy (if I've done laundry recently) but I'm not always going to put on makeup, so the makeup should just be closer to what you're gonna see all the time.

MM: Ok, so then the makeup is on. And the T-shirt and peg pants are on. Is it always the chunky black platform boots? Why? Because that's a constant power move IMO.

AP: The chunky black platform boots are truly ideal for many reasons: They're cute, they're sturdy, they subtly make me three inches taller (I need every inch), they'll hold up in rain or snow, and they'll allow me to do some damage to your face if you turn out to be a creep. And (drumroll) I got them on Poshmark for $10.

MM: No!! Do you know the brand?

AP: You're not gonna believe this but H&M. I do not shop at H&M for many reasons and would NEVER buy shoes from there but I took a shot on these because they were secondhand and they've held up impressively well. Almost everything I own was thrifted for financial and sustainability reasons, but these are truly a marvel.

MM: What does that word mean to you, specifically? Sustainability.

AP: Honestly I do not feel qualified to talk about sustainability at all! But to me, it's complicated. I grew up in a lower-class, financially insecure family while most of my friends were wealthy, so my family would either buy clothes secondhand or from a discount store. As a kid, this was really embarrassing to me to not have a closet full of Limited Too or Abercrombie, which obviously feels silly now. I'm still working class and financially insecure, so it's very difficult for me to buy from stores or brands that (at least claim) to ethically produce clothes because they're generally really, really expensive. That's the case for most of this country, including many people who are way worse off than I am. Thrifting is good for me because it allows me to get clothes when I need them at a low cost while also reducing environmental impact, but I don't think it's reasonable to make a judgement call on what any one person "should" be doing in the name of sustainability. Any one person can do whatever is comfortable to them, we can all try within our means! But at the end of the day, the real damage (and real opportunity for impact) is coming from big corporations and the government's actions. I don't think you can truly think about whatever sustainability means if you're getting mad at someone for shopping from a retail chain because it's all they can afford. Okay that was a lot and I have no idea where I was even going with that, sorry! I feel in many ways not educated enough to have feelings about this.

MM: Don't apologize! There's no set definition for the word, it's unique to all of us. And the Limited Too envy was real. 

AP: Omg especially when they had the matching outfits for you and your Build-A-Bear... I wanted it so badly. BIG topic.

MM: I can't believe it's been an hour!! I'll wrap this up so you can get back to your sorbet.

AP: Omg it has, wow!!

MM: Final q: Did your last first date go well?

AP: My last first date ended with plans to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special together. This year we're going to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special together in our new apartment. I'd say it went okay!

MM: AWW. On that exceedingly wholesome note — thank you for chatting!

AP: Of course! My pleasure! 

[cherry-slushie-cosplay-blog]

Freshman Year Quotes

Ok so I did a list of all the stupid shit I heard in my Freshman year of high school. Enjoy.

(T) - Teacher (AP) - Freshman Assistant Principal

FRESHMAN YEAR ----

"Any weeb brethren, see me after class I want to be friends." *class is totally silent* "*loudly* I have a seven inch penis." "I'm a farmer bitch I will throw my crops at you." "You can teach tiny cil- chilr- chilud- chiluden, wait what?" "I'm telling Jesus!" "Jesus already knows." "(T) Use your 5 sols! Haha, get it? Like soul?" "Bold of you to assume I have any at all." "HE CALLED ME THE N-WORD, HE CALLED- oh shit you're a girl my bad I'm just messing around trying to get someone in trouble. Have a nice weekend!" "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht...FUCK!" "How do you make an equilateral square?" "I think my back has scoliosis." "I've got a bag of chicken." "Why do you have a bag of chicken?" "Because. Why do you have a bottle with mangos on it?" "This- this is mango-flavored tea!" "AND THIS IS CHICKEN-FLAVORED BAG" "...and some condoms have spermicide which kills off the sperm. Don't ask me how I know all that, Mrs. ********." "Are you from Russian?" "Sit your ADHD-filled ass down." "If we were in hell, do you really think I would be here?" "(T) Yes." (T) "Is stupid written on your forehead?" "I don't know, is it written on yours?" "His forehead's big enough for it." "That looks like an orgy pile over there." "Why do you guys always sit behind me?" "If we want to kill you, you won't see it coming." "Is this what Julius Caesar felt like?" "You're so tiny! You look like a doll!" "And you look like a cock-riding motherfucker." " Technically, time is a construct." "Technically, none of this matters and we're all gonna die soon." "Will you two shut up please?" (T) "My 2019 has been completed, I made a student cry." (This was January 10th btw) (T) "As long as you do your best and turn that in, you'll be fine." "What if my best sucks and I get a bad grade?" "Ok that was good I'm gonna give you that." "I'm gonna put on black lipstick and go to sleep." *Aggressively singing Dream Daddy For Me* "What's that?" "A grapefruit." "Bitch that ain't a grape." "No, grapeFRUIT." "It looks like you put Kool Aid in an orange." "Dude it's called a grapefruit." "No, fuck you and your Kool Aid orange." "I ate a mouse dongle." "Why the fuck would you do that?" "I don't know, I just did." "Racism is my bitch. I bend racism over and take it from behind." "A function is an input and a function...oh wait hold on I messed up- stop laughing at me I got this." "James Charles did one of Bob Ross's tutorials on his forehead." "So he has a big forehead-" "Shut the hell up ***** no one cares." "The answer was D! D as in 'Dinosaur chicken nuggets'!" (T) "What are the first ten amendments?" "I know the ten COMMANDments." "No one cares, we're not in Christian school." "YES WE ARE HAIL MARY" (T) "Do your work or the Lord may strike you." *this was at the religious girl from the previous quote* "What time is it?" "It's fuckin uhhhhh noon o 5." "Noon o 5?" "I forgot the word twelve." "I SEE HEADLIGHTS" "Hm?" "Headlights is nipples." "If this is a test I'm gonna throw myself out the window. I was about to go to the hospital this weekend and I'm still gonna make it happen." "I won't T-Pose for dominance but I will screech and make your eardrums bleed." "Does anyone remember Llamas With Hats?" 4 people: "caAAARRLLLLL" "Pagans terrify me." "Why?" "Every pagan I know of is a furry." "sKeDaDdLe SkAdOoDlE yOuR dIcK iS nOw A nOoDlE" "NO NOT IN MATH CLASS" "Doodlebops." "shUT THE FUCK UP" "I watched that yesterday, I have it on DVD." "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE DOODLEBOPS ON DVD" (T) *random Chewbacca noise* "My brain is smaller than my dick." "If you feel stupid, you should." "What about King Solomon?" (T) "What has Solomon ever done for America?" "What have YOU ever done for America?" "Nothing should be in your mouth unless it's a banana." "What type of banana?" "A yellow one, duh." *laughter* "Or a green one, whichever you like more." (T) "For the people who I'm signing these for: are you going to the farm-" "YES WE FINNA BE COWBOYS" (T) "What y'all playing over there?" "Chess." (T) "I hope you lose." (T) "If you're stupid, it's your fault." (T) "Let's go guys!" "hoLD ON I'M SAVING MY POKEMON GAME" "There's people taking pictures down there - should I pour Monster on them?" "When you gave me my pencil I was like 'I like Zoe, she's nice' in my brain and then my brain somehow connected that to 'You tryna smash?' and another part of my brain said 'No, stop, she'd cut your dick off'." "That's the strangest intrusive thought I've ever heard from a friend." "How many of y'all think I'm gay?" *about 6 people raise their hands* "Ok then." "May I please go to the bathroom?" (T) "You just have to get out of here at any chance you get, don't you?" "I'm serious, I'm really hungry, does anyone have any food?" "I have lotion." "Fuck you." (T) "OH MY GOD SHE HAS TAP SHOES CAN YOU DANCE???" "...no" (T) "YOU STILL LOOK GOOD" *watching Sorcerer's Stone* "Who's at the window?" *ta-da it's Malfoy* "Oh it's a blonde-headed lesbian." "Shit fuck goddammit bitch pussy fucking Jesus Christ." "I have ibuprofen, you know." "Nah, I'm good." "I'm a lil loli short and flat~ My head is for pat- wait fuck what was it" "Hello~ my fuCKING HIP OW" "Are you ok?" "I popped my hip...Hello, my name is Elder Price~" (T) "Here, it's legal to marry your 2nd cousin twice removed." "I'm doing it." (T) "******** no-" "Fuck (insert name of school district), man. On my mom." "I wanna fucking die I hate this class." "No. I look like Jesus, I'm telling you no. Therefore, Jesus says no and you're not allowed to die." (T) "How else could we have solved this?" "With a calculator." "Did Diego steal his money from Dora?" (T) "I don't know, moving on." "All y'all talking about how your souls are dark black, mine is baby blue. It's brighter than your hair." "uwu my stomach hurts" "I'm serious I'm not on my phone." (T) "Oh really?" "I swear to GOD she wasn't!" (T) "Oooooohhh" "Holy shit Zoe you're gonna send **** to hell." "You were staring at me for like 20 seconds before calling on me!" (T) "No, my glass eye was staring at you. My real eye was over there seeing that stuff, and over here I didn't see sHIT." "I heard there's G-Spots in your ass, why don't you shove it up there and have some fun." "How about no?" "Suit yourself." "I don't like raw fish — it makes me sad." "100 senators!! Come ON, Sen - a - tors!" "Shut up go stick your head in a dick." "I want that Mormon Milk." "I'm begging you to stop talking." "I'm salivating for that salvation." "Shut the fuck up."

BONUS: SCHOOL'S POWER OUT

"My god that sun is brighter than Kirishima's smile." "Zoe is turning into Trina." "I'm breaking down~" "Come over here anyone who wants to take 'Golden-Hour Mental Breakdown' selfies and/or get Pocky." "Anyone who refuses to let their anxious child come home will be personally smacked by me with Zoe's copy of 'Half-Blood Prince'."

NORMAL SCHOOL

"Stab me in the ovary or whatever you said." "CORRODED ARTERY YOU ARE MALE" "Same difference." "Perfect boy lookin-ass- no homo." "What the fuck" "People think that Sherlock Holmes isn't real because he was written in a book. God was too but you don't see people denying HE exists, do you?" "Ok do a burpee." *burps loudly* "No a- you're a fucking idiot." "Heyyyyy Zoe, can we- holy shit is that Pornhub?" "How do you make a baby crawl in a circle?" "I don't fucking know." "Ok...do you know how to make one stop?" "When did you get here!?" "Couple minutes ago." "???" "I'm quiet and people generally don't notice I'm here." "...do you need a hug?" (T) "What'd you do this weekend?" "Some sewing." (T) "What'd you sew?" "Robes…" (T) "For what?" "*increasingly embarrassed* A costume." "From what?" "*very red by now* Harry Potter…" "Which character?" "*wanting to crawl into a hole* Draco Malfoy…" "*polite clapping from entire class*" (T) "He's on the road to alcoholism." "I'm doing a 21-Day challenge of not talking, if I do - punch me." (T) "Oooohhh this is gonna be fun." *knock at door* (T) "*presses face against door window* What's the password?" "bitCH GIVE ME BACK MY CAPRI-SUN" "It's not Capri-S-" "IT'S BOOTLEG CAPRI-SUN GIVE IT BACK" "Holy shit you turned the Jesus-freak gay." "What happens if you don't deletus the fetus?" "Then the abortion isn't completus." (T) Can you see where I'm going?" "To hell." "Oh look, a wasp." "KILL THAT SHIT" "Oh man I can't hear my eardrums." "How the fuck would you hear your eardrums?" "That's the POINT." "I like a p p l e s ~I like 'em big and juicy-" (T) "NO." "Everyone raise your hand if you want Mr. **** out of the room." *80% raises their hands* (T) "Even you?" "What do you mean 'even me'!?!?" "******? ******!!" "What?" "If I ask you a question will you be a douche?" "Probably." "Understandable." "What the hell am I reading?" "Words." "Mr. **** do you like donkey ducks?" (T) "I'm not even going to answer you." "I'm scared of homophobes." "Homophobophobia." "If gay is a slur does that mean that African American is a slur?" "Who has my mcfreaking phone? WHOMST HAS MY PHONE" (T) "Ooh free charger! *wraps cord around neck like a scarf*" "Whee whee mone me jam apple laff-yeti" "If someone is being homophobic, give them dyslexia." "Troom Troom life hack: if someone is harassing you — eat them." "Troom Troom banana hack: if someone is harassing you — shove a banana up their ass." (T) "Take that hat off." "I'm a gangsta." "I'm never gonna use this shit. Do you think I'm gonna go to McDonald's and say something like, I don't know, 'Oh riddle me dubious'? NO." "I'm gonna meticulate you until you get dyslexia." "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I'm gonna meticulate your rectum." "Please stop." (T) "See that girl? She likes bad boys." (T) "Ask her, she has tape." "What the hell has made you think I have tape?!?" "I don't care if you have 106% in this class, you can kiss my fat ass!" "No, PICasso." "I like Costco-" "No." "Holy shit *points at red train in movie watched in class* it's the Hogwarts Express." "Stop it." "Choo choo bitch we goin' to magic school." (T) "Guys Mr. ***** is in here, quick make it look like you're doing math." "3 + 7 = 9!!!" "Are you serious?" "MOVE IT, MUNCHKINS!" *shoves us apart and runs off* "Excuse-moi, I'm gonna beat her ass." "Oh my god someone's weave is on the floor." "Only at (insert school name here)." "THERE'S MORE THEY THREW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW" "*handing out books* Take this dick, *throws book on student's desk next to me* and here you go. *places book gently on my desk*" "waIT TAKE THAT BACK I WANT A 'HERE YOU GO' WTF" (T) "-and so the corn salsa would be 20...thaaaat's not one of the answers oh no." "You fucking whore, happy birthday." (T) "How do you know you are college and career ready?" "Because Jesus loves me." "Last time I shit my pants was in middle school." "rePEAT THAT?" "I'm gonna show up tomorrow with AIDS." "Did you just say you'd show up with AIDS?" "Yeah." "Why??" "Cause HE put his spit on me." "I'm borrowing your chair. To sleep." "I'm straight as a line." "Oh? *makes loop-de-loops in the air* You mean THIS line?" (T) "I will decimate you. I will wipe your name from the earth." "Is the government making us take this test?" (T) "No, the district is making us take it." "Well the district can suck my ass." *calling every white person in a certain scene of Ernest Green a toothpick* "Is it just me or does ******** seem like he'd end up having a job at Chuck and Dale's?" "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE I WANNA WATCH MERLIN" (T) "You boys don't know how to chop down a tree, do you? You wouldn't be able to do that." "Yes I would, I do it in Minecraft all the time!" (T) "Ok, remember to put your name on your paper." "No. I have no name. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Voldemordita." "Stop it." "Shut up, both y'all gay, always smackin' each other's asses in class." (T) "Easy, Luigi, we're not watching a movie." (This was a sub for Civics class and he had just walked in 2 minutes prior. The student's name was not Luigi) "Hold on I'm gonna be Oprah: YOU GET A CALCULATOR, YOU GET A CALCULATOR!" "Y'know ***** still needs one." "F R I C K" *girl walks into a desk* "There's a desk there ****." "I KNOW fuck OFF" "I feel like we need to warn her about everything when she walks." "Watch out for life, ****." "Can we do it on paper?" (T) "No, this is not Burger King." *leaving the room* "Remember, cocaine is not your friend. I'll kick your ass." (T) "Wow! It's Good Friday, and you're talking about your baptism and stuff like that, and you said 'oh my fricking god'? For shame." (T) "I'm on a lot of drugs and alcohol right now and I can't feel anything." "Oh my GOD USE A YARDSTICK" "No." "MR. ******** I'M GONNA HURT HER" "Gonna stab her with the yardstick?" "I need bail money." "I need money PERIOD." "DRAW. A STRAIGHT.  L I N E." "NO, FUCK YOU" "You know you're gay when it takes you 3 tries to draw a straight line." "DON'T TAKE MY JOKE" "You definitely know you're gay if it still isn't straight after 3 tries." (T) "What would you do if someone came into your neighborhood?" "Who's neighborhood? Mr. Rodger's?" "I have 15 pets." "I have 13 siblings, does that count?" "No but it does mean that your parents need to learn how to use a fucking condom." "Hi my name is J. Michael Tater Tot welcome to the Dairy Dome." "Dyslexia? I thought you said...cannibalistic tendencies." "What?" "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed." "You need to flex seal your anus closed." "If you don't fucking shut up I will shave off your eyebrows using my toenail as a razor you cunt." "Sippy Cup looks depressed." "Sippy Cup, you going through some shit?" "Hit or Miss, I guess they never miss, huh? You got a boyfriend-" "Yep." "I bet he doesn't kiss ya!" "Haha nope." "Ew I look like Casper." (T) "...and we're going to write a paragraph." "Oh you're FUNNY." "I think I'm switch. Like, I'm good with being sub, but I'd like to dominate my bitch too. Like F.B.I get on the ground open your legs." "Ms. ******* that's really bright-" (T) "YOU'RE bright." Video: *talking about how important this song is to them* (T) "I don't care stop talking." "I peed on the desk again." "Key word: AGAIN???" "You should send ****** and I to get them." "That is a HORRIBLE idea." "What do you mean it's a horrible idea? You don't know me!" "What do you mean 'I don't know you?' We have gone to school together for almost 4 years." (T) "Look, I know you're obsessed with me, GET TO WORK." "He's harassing me." "You harassed me first. It's not harassment if you do it in self-defense." "You can have the benefit of my middle finger." "It's the progression of the climb of the rocket." (T) "Oh my GOOODDDD JUST SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING" "Fine. The speed." (T) "ExACTLY." "Oh look a firetruck's outside." "Whee whoo whee whoo- oh my god you're serious. Oh god it's (crappy fire department) jesus christ." "I think we need to potty train our classmates again." "AGAIN???" "Well, yeah. They're supposed to be." "'Supposed to' and 'are' are two different things." "Mr. **** can I put mascara on you?" (T) "No." "Whyyyyy?" (T) "Do I look like a Barbie doll?" (T) "Mascara girl is the one who's talking." "You act like I don't have a name!!!" "Do you?" "What the hell are you doing?" "It makes your eyelashes look nicer." "Yeah; easy, breezy, beautiful: Covergirl. Get with the program." "James Charles is QUAKING." "Sister shook." "Give me my paper." "Bitch I'm gluing my fingers together, I didn't fucking take it." "Do you have a charger?" "No, but I have a notebook full of English notes." "I don't have any round characters, all of mine are gay and sad."

BONUS 2: BIRTHDAY

"I'm sorry I don't have anything for you for your birthday all I have is Reese's and duct tape." "Wait it's your birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-" "NO STOP SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT" "Thank you." "You're welcome." (T) "Pay attention my dudes." *collective groaning from entire class* "*asking for tampons*" (T) "*holding a marker* I can throw another red one at you." "I don't get it. *sudden realization*" (T) "***** pick your jaw up off the floor, I was joking." "I'm tired of the word 'domain'." "Oh yeahhhh me too, cause we hear it a lot in physics now." "Domain, domain, domain; I hate it." "I'm in a domain of hating myself." "I'm joking, I love you." "I'm not joking, but I love you too anyways." "**** don't lose your Crocs again." (T) "Get that earbud out of your ear." "No, this is keeping me sane." "Why is my name 'desire'??? I put it as 'pee pee poo poo'!"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I've finally done a fraction! I flipped it over, turned it around, smacked its ass and had it call me daddy." "PARDON???" "What?" (in Physics talking about electricity) "Ok positive top, negative bottom-" "ME?" "He said you can't learn if you burn but you do learn. You learn fire is hot. Also the sensation of being burned alive as you are consumed by flames." "*shows Thanos smut* Spoilers for Endgame that no one asked for." "Legend has it that if you work at the Dairy Dome, you get free tickets to Domegame." Have a marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a...Thesis Thursday. I couldn't think of anything." "You look like a frog." (T) "And you look like a squid." "Someone today said I looked like a drug dealer magician. Would you like *sweeps off hat* MARIJUANA??? Or...*pretends to pull something out of hat* COKE??? Perhaps some *flourishes* *whispers* acid???" "I'm gonna Detroit Smash him to hell." "LGBT, let's get this bread." "My hero academia as in Aizawa can shove my ass up his head- wait hold on" "*talking about Ariel* She's hot but that doesn't excuse the fact that she put her entire species in jeopardy for some dick." (T) "Does anyone not have medicine in their bag that ******* cannot have while I look down at the floor because I dropped my pen?" (T) "*reaches for paper*" "Ah ah **** no swipin'." *in science class* "Nothing's happening but I saw that bitch SPARK and I'm terrified." "I'm basically teacher today, your assignment is to do nothing. YOU get an A." "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER I'LL EAT YOUR ANUS THEY DON'T CALL ME RECTUMUS PRIME FOR NOTHING" "EXCUSE ME" "What was the word again?" "David Hasselhoff?" "What, no???" "This is why you shouldn't scratch yourself, here." "*instantly shoves necklace in mouth*" "I wouldn't use that as a chew fidget, I got it off the ground in Louisiana." "*chews even more aggressively*" (T) "Don't mess with me I will throw something at you, I played softball for 14 years." "Really???" (T) "Yeah. I was the captain biatch." "James Charles looks like the dragon from Shrek." "***'s touching my wenis." "Gay fantasies don't really matter." "Yeah, I mean, did you see the way that Tony and Cap looked at each other in Endgame?" "When he was, a young boy, his father, took him to the dark lord, to kill the principalofawizardachool" "He said son when, you grow up, will you b-" "HE SAID WILL YOU, GETSHANKEDINABATHROOM-" "Watch out: I have peanut butter and a knife!" (T) "All you need is at least a 60% to pass the test-" "BOI I GET 40S AND 30S IN YOUR CLASS AND YOU KNOW IT" (T) "So you used to go to (other school name)?" "Yeah. But people growling and barking at me was a little much." (T) "Were they furries?" "Dude, tornadoes in Kansas are no joke." "But you go to Oz." "THERE AIN'T NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD AFTER A TORNADO" "Uh, yeah! Yellow brick road to HEAVEN." "Toto isn't god” "You awakened something you didn't want to awaken." "Is it god??? Is it Totoro? Remember to pay your taxes or Hong Kong will come eat you." "Today's weather is cloudy with a chance of rectal prolapse." (T) "Who's at the door?" "It's ***." (T) "Who's ***?" "***. Your student." (T) "*opens door* Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "Who is commander in chief of the military? My  p e n i s" "Are those grandma shoes??? Can I  e a t  them???" "She sounds like a fetus screaming for extra guac at Chik-Fil-A." "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" "*singing the Boku No Pico theme off-key in a loli voice*" "I will hit you." "I'd feel bad for you but you have a 69% and that causes you to get a D and I can't look that over." "Do you ever wonder where babies come from? Cause I don't. All you have to do is pee into a lady's Digornio." "rePEAT THAT??" "Don't forget to degrade your dog." "Imagine a world: where you have 2 fetuses hanging from your eyebrow."

BONUS 3: GIANT, END-OF-THE-YEAR CIVICS TEST

"Why the fuck is Christmas a national holiday???" (T) "Ok, the president during WWII was...Roose-" "-A PARKS" (T) "Are you even paying attention?" (T) "What happened on September 11th, 2001?" "9/11!" (T) "We're gonna need you to be a little more specific, buddy." (T) "What's a state that borders Canada?" "I deadass was about to say Arizona, I need sleep." "WHAT is your name?" "*****." "WHAT is your quest?" "To clap the best pussy out there." "*through laughter* What is your favorite color?" "The color of the next pussy I'm gonna crunch." "I got a Voltage from the ROTC room, and I dropped it and someone said 'OOH', picked it up and yeeted with it." "WHAT THE FUCK I'D SHIT ON THEIR HOUSE" "Can we play a song after our presentation?" (T) "As long as it's not like 20 minutes like an Allman Brothers song." "Huh?" (T) "You know how when you have an acid trip, people tell you to listen to the Allman Brothers?" "..." (T) "I'm old." (T) "If this eye starts drooping, there was something in the brownie." (T) "*teaching us Piccolo Mini*" "You just made me feel dyslexic." "YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE TEA??? I'M THE REAL HOE" *applause from class* "BITCH WE BEEN KNEW" "*unintelligible*" (T) "What?" "*still unintelligible*" (T) "I still didn't hear you." "You talk like your handwriting." "I WILL THROW THIS CROC AT YOU" "I will literally pay a dollar for one." "I will literally eat these." "Petunia is not a phone." "Electronic device, then." "She's not an electronic device, I gave birth to her." (T) "**** that's the whitest you've ever sounded." "My dingaling is messed up." "Mine too." (T) "Ok so say you wanted aides-" "I DON'T WANT AIDS WHAT THE HELL" (T) "IN THE CLASSROOM. CLASSROOM AIDES. HELPERS. "Can we talk while doing this?" (T) "No, this isn't Burger King." "What is your obsession with Burger King????" "HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S PUTTING THE WHITE NECTAR ON THE RAMEN SINK" "Have you ever seen a 14 year old looking badass?" "Have you ever seen a beaver chomping down on a carrot? Cause I wanna see that." "I don't wanna go to Papa Louie's Arcade, Papa Louie can pop a cap in your ass." "Micheal does a Thanos Snap in season 14." "Cas, I don't feel so good." "NO" "Your Crocs are in sport mode." "My cock is hard." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID" "It's ok lil diglett I'm gonna evolve you." (T) "Stop it." "I'm gonna evolve you it's fine, you're weak but you're gonna get better. *throws stress ball at teacher*" (T) "******* looks like Ted Bundy" (T) "He's falling asleep. Hey, ****, are you sad you can't have an abortion?" "What???" (T) "If you don't like high school relationships, who's that guy you keep making out with in the hallway?" "*pointing at random places on the map in the civics classroom, threatening to deport each other to random places*" "You're jiggling my titties." "*half the class is singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies*" "I love you!" "Shut it, I'm doing a presentation." "I love you!!" "Stop." "I love you!!!" "God damnit, *******, I'm gonna hit you." (T) "If you drop any f-bombs during the presentation, I'm gonna kill you." "Bottom, take the apple." "I'm not black, I'm O.J." "Balls. That was the word." "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET 'BALLS' FROM 'THE BUCKS ARE WINNING THE FINALS'??" "Who's this? Tom? No I don't wanna streak with you. Stranger danger." "Why is it called Field Day if it's only 2 periods?" (AP) "I- That's actually a good question." "ALRIGHT THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO-" "*gets literally kissing distance from him* *salutes* Yes sir?" "We're playing cornhole." "Stop laughing, how is cornhole inappropriate?" "Mr. **** this is the type of yardstick that could take your kneecaps. Do you want me to take yours?" (T) "I'd like to see you try." "Is that Ratatouille?" "Ratatouille isn't the rat. That's Remy, you insolent fuck." "I'm gonna call you the 'G' word." "What's the 'G' word?" "Jew." "That's…porny." "...send it to me." "Where you going?" "To hell." "WHY" "*shrugs* Seems fun." "You see, this is why I need to work with you. I'm your insurance."

BONUS 4: FIELD DAY

(T) "Are you part 1 or part 2?" "Uh…" (T) "Top line or bottom line?" "Bottom- no, top- uhhhhh…" "He looks like a top." "I still don't understand why we fucking dropped Bohemian Rhapsody for a song from fucking  T W I L I G H T." (T) "*throws a marker at the Assistant Principal*" *various cheers and "OHHHHHH"s from the class* (AP) "Are you actually serious." Not a quote but in the 2nd to last week of school, we spent almost the entirety of 4th period Algebra (including the teacher — he started it) throwing dry-erase markers at each other and didn't even stop when the AP (seen above) came in. (T) "*walks through the middle of the room*" "FIRE" *8 people pelt markers at him* "Wait you guys realize he's gonna throw all of those back, right?" "I have a D I'm hanging on the edge my dudes." "I did a math? I did a math!!!" "You did meth?" "YES!!!" "*gets head shoved out of window* OW! FUCK, ****** MY TIT" "You exude strong Kenny energy." "Why?" "Cause you die a lot? Cause your heart was replaced with a baked potato? Cause your family's poor?" "*laughing so hard we can't breathe*" "*leaves the cafeteria to calm down from laughing too hard*" "I'm having elementary school flashbacks." "Shut your social justice warrior ass up." "You ok?" "I stabbed myself." "Sorry, only girls get it. Also, this is my last customer today." "Hold on, if it's only girls, why does HE get it?" "Hi." "OH SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL MY BAD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

“Did I just witness a drug deal?” "Why do you look like a dad?" "I need some weed in my system again, I'm fucking drained." "There's a fucking big-ass run in my tights — I'm gonna eat my own ass and then some." "Hi I'm ***** and Mr. **** can suck my 13 inch dong. My Long John Silver." "This ignorant pickle of a person can die." "This cashew of a long dong. Cashews look like telephones." "A shirt says Mr. **** can suck my magnum horse, my stallion." "His mom should've fucking swallowed." "Spit his ass in a Dixie cup." "I will tattoo my eyes shut." "I'm talking about this mongoose man that's called Mr. ****." "Can you speak some Spanish?" "Hola, como estas, sugma." "Sugma?" "Suck my fuckin' balls lmao" "It's your sugar daddy. *shows picture of Andrew Jackson*" "It's Mr. **** as a woman." "That's fucking Christopher Columbus." "*howling laughter*" "I was just thinking 'have it stop raining so that I don't have to walk in it', but then I remembered I have work today so it should keep pouring. The more the sky cries, the less I cry. Unless I'm on drive." "Excuse me sir, *raises leg* my penis has fallen off." "I pray you get AIDS." (T) "Please throw away your sheet music, it's illegal to copy sheet music and I don't wanna go to jail." "*loud smack* I am so sorry, I didn't mean it to be that loud! Come here baby boy, let me give you the sweet taste of my mother milk." "It's not mother anymore, it's daddy now." "Dude what if you were born with a set of words that if said, would implode your testicles." "Bomb go boom, Mormons go extinct." "MR. **** YOU TOOK OUR NOODS" "DON'T TAKE THE NOODS" "NOT THE NOODS!!!" "****, I thought you were Catholic." "The pencil's black." "Like my ass-cheeks." "Someone stole it!!!!" "Like ****'s virginity."

BONUS 5: WATCHING INSIDIOUS (FOR SOME FUCKING REASON)

*kid falls off ladder* *various banshee screeches from students* "They're kissing AGAIN. This movie is NOT appropriate." "I'm hearding weeeesssst~ I don't know what to dooooo~ " That's not how you make a superpowered baby. You kill the mother and put her on the ceiling." "Wait, pause. What the hell?" "F.B.I, open up." "IT'S DALTON." "PUT A CHAIR ON THE DAMN DOOR" "HOW WOULD A CHAIR WORK AGAINST THE DEMON" "He's in a deep sleep. Wake him up with true love's kiss." "It's a pedo-demon! Everyone run!" "He's cheating on her." "What if this was linked to Supernatural?" "Ooh she's echoing now." "My legs are shaking bruh." "Is that blood on the window?" "No, it's a tree." "SMACK THE CHILD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I figured out why I'm so quiet today." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, *shows trembling hands* I'm on vibrate." "I can't wait to go to church."

BONUS 6: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

"The first thing I ate when I came to this country, it was in the airport and it was Doritos." (T) "They gave me the shortest teachers' gown they had. I have a baby gown." "That isn't a happy little bush." "IT'S. TREE." "Hello ladies, *winks* *blows kiss*" "I'm GAY." *I Will Survive playing really loudly* "******* you're not in our friend group so get the FUCK OUT." "Now I can swear! FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS" "Oh shit it's an end of the year fight!" Four kids got into a fight at the same time and one got tazed."

[negasonicimagines]

Teacher’s Pet

Hey dweebs it’s me! So, my gf gave me this request, though I modified it a bit and added an idea I’ve been playing around with in my head, though the original idea was smutty as FUCK ! (so if you want a part two it will be fucking in a classroom hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa) anyway! I did modify it a lil bit sorry babe I’m not that good 

Think about this(because I'm looking for some self indulgence) the reader is insanely smart, like super high IQ smart, and as such is super socially awkward and is into Ellie, but of course Ellie doesn't know that. But Wade does because for whatever reason the reader is more relaxed around wade and is actually able to talk to him. And wade of course tells Colossus because Ellie's obvious pining for the reader is obvious and of course Colossus knows.  And Colossus and wade talk about it and they try to get the two together but they're both so fucking awkward, like what even are social skills??  And so Colossus pairs them up for everything he can manage to pull the strings to arrange and eventually while working on a project one of the students is like "oh would you two just fuck already," and Ellie is fucking shook and the reader is like "Oh I don't think she'd be interested" and then Ellie is shook×2 because what the fuck is this cutie talking about, she would jump at the chance and she accidentally says something along those lines and jaws drop, faces turn red and Ellie is stuttering and blushing and being very cute(you know how she do) and the reader just smiles and links their pinkies and kisses ellie's cheek and then you can either stop there or continue it but I also have more ideas too

You were thrilled that Xavier was allowing you to return to the school to get your credits as a teacher’s assistant. You’d graduated extremely early, and decided that because you had more time to do college than most, you were going to take the plunge and become a teacher. English had always been your favorite subject, so, of course, that was the genre of teaching you chose.

It was your first day, and you were excited to see the friends you’d left behind. Wade was beside you. You’d done your studying in New York, and as a favor to the X-Men, he’d kept an eye on you, checking up on you from time-to-time to make sure you were taking care of yourself. You were a bit of an eccentric genius, often forgetting to eat, change clothes, et cetera when you were doing something else that you considered more important, like a research paper for class, or organizing your notes so you could study more effectively in the future. He’d accompanied you back home, helping you with your bags.

You’d be doing your college online in the afternoons and evenings, and helping Ms. Frost in her class during the day, teaching entire lessons by yourself every Friday.

“Y/N!” A chorus of voices, a crowd of people your age, some who you barely recognized, rushes at you.

There was a face you were looking for, but you should’ve known she would’ve hung back, waited to say hello. She wasn’t a fan of crowds.

You accept the hugs, even the kisses on your cheeks and forehead, with a grateful, albeit awkward, smile.

Wade looks amused when the large herd finally dissipates. He lifts his mask slightly, licking his thumb and swiping Jubilee’s magenta lipstick off of your forehead.

“Really, just the stuff that’s on my forehead?” you ask with a slight laugh.

“Well, your forehead’s just overkill. But if a certain someone sees lipstick stains on you..”

“She’ll laugh?” You already know where Wade is going with this.

“She’ll be jealous. She was so pissed when she found out I was getting to visit you and she wasn’t.”

“You’re so full of shit, but even if it’s true, that doesn’t mean she likes me like that!” you argue.

“Who likes you like what?” the girl in question asks, and Wade nudges you.

“No one, Ellie. No one likes me.” Smooth recovery, Y/N.

“And here I thought I was the gloomy one,” she says, and you find yourself laughing at an extremely high, nervous speed and pitch.

“So, who left the uh, lipstick?” she gestures at your face, and you think she looks a little more sullen than usual, but it could possibly be maturation.

“Oh, uh..”

“Everyone,” Wade informs her. “Seems like lots of lipstick wearers missed our little jelly bean.” Wade says, ruffling your hair. You narrow your eyes at him, and from the corner of your eye you think you see her do the same. “Well, uh, Y/N, let’s get your bags up to your room, huh?” Wade offers you an out, as the conversation was drying up.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea.” You nod rapidly, and he begins up the stairs. You scramble behind the unnaturally tall man.

“Later, then…” Ellie says, sounding a bit miffed, not that you pick up on it in your nervous state.

“Yeah, uh, later!” you call back to her from further up the stairs. Once you and Wade make it into your room, he bursts out in laughter.

“You’re a human disaster,” he comments.

“No, I’m not,” you pitifully attempt to argue.

“Then, what the hell was that?” he asks.

“I’m a human disaster,” you admit, burying your face into a pillow.

“C’mon, kid, it’s not that hard. She likes you back!”

“No, she doesn’t...And even if she does, like it’d last.”

“Shut up, Y/N! You’ve never even been in a relationship before, how do you know that they’re all bad!?”

“I never should have told you that,” you grumble.

“I won’t die happy if you don’t at least try,” Wade tries to convince you to try.

“You mean you’ll die if I do this? Shit, maybe it’s worth it,” you snark.

“Oh my god, it’s like you’re the same person. Get married. Have her babies. Let her have your babies. I want grandchildren, Y/N!”

“Grandchildren?” you ask, perplexed.

“You’re the closest thing I have to a legacy at this point, you absolute dork!”

“Wow, thanks. I’m so honored,” you scoff, not lifting your face from the pillow you’d buried it into. Wade slides off your shoes for you.

“Listen, I gotta head back to NYC and to my Tootsie Pop Angel Darling Honey Bunny, but I’ll check up on you still, because you’re precious. See you around, kiddo.”

“You got it, Grandpa.”

The door closes, and then you hear a knock.

“Who is it?”

“It’s, uh, me.”

“Come in, ‘Me.’” You reply, face still buried in your pillow.

“You okay?” Ellie asks, and you attempt to sit up too fast, resulting in you flopping around like a dying fish because of the way you’d been lying down. You manage to sit in a normal way, though, but not without getting a rather bug-eyed look from the girl you would rather not get a bug-eyed look from.

“Ellie, hi, yeah, I’m okay, are you okay?” You ask, deflecting as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, I’m fine.. Just making sure you were, y’know, adjusting okay or whatever… Ms. Frost wants to see you and Piotr asked me to make sure you knew where Ms. Frost’s room was… Even though you’ve gone to school here before… It’s dumb, I know.”

“No, it’s fine. That’s really nice of you guys.”

“You’ve still got that lipstick on your face,” Ellie comments.

“Oh, I do, don’t I? Shit!” You scrub at your face with the inside of your blazer sleeve.

She looks bug-eyed again.

“What?” you ask, genuinely confused for once.

“Uh, sorry, I just don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before,” Ellie explains, appearing actually rather amused.

“Oh, yeah, I guess I kinda picked up the habit. Y’know. College. New York. Wade.”

“So, you guys are like, friends?” She seems conflicted about the idea. Maybe there was some truth to what Wade said before, that she’d wanted to be the one to help make sure you were safe.

“He made sure I didn’t die of sleep deprivation, so, yeah, we’re like, friends,” you reply, chuckling a little.

���Huh. A few of us wanted to visit, but they said you had to focus on your studies.” By a few, she means herself, but you don’t know that.

“Lame,” you scoff. When you weren’t thinking about your big fat crush on her, you could actually form semi-coherent sentences in her presence.

The two of you make your way to Ms. Frost’s room in rather awkward silence.

“So, uh, here is the place you already knew the way to.”

“Ms. L/N!” Ms. Frost sounds rather enthusiastic for, well, her.

“You don’t really have to call me that, Ms. Frost,” you reply, but it’s kind of nice being referred to like a teacher, a peer.

“I should, though! You’re practicing for the real thing! I’ve always thought you should be a teacher,” she says, her last phrase sounding rather somber, like she was remembering something she didn’t want to. Her typical serene expression returns. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You too, Ms. Frost.”

“Well, see you around, Y/N,” Ellie says, having done the required task.

“That’s Ms. L/N to you, young lady,” Ms. Frost half-jokes as the girl with buzzed hair leaves.

“So, I wanted to go over the standards and such with you, so that we could coordinate a proper lesson plan. You’ll be sitting in every day but Wednesday, and then every other Friday you’ll be teaching, correct?”

You nod. “Yeah, I mean, uh, if that works for you.”

“It does, perfectly so. I think doing something different on Fridays will help the students stay more focused. They’re usually so excited for the weekend that they don’t even pay attention,” Ms. Frost explains.

“I remember those days…” You say. “I mean, I always paid attention, of course.” You scramble to clarify, but she just chuckles.  

“So, this first week, we’re…”

The two of you continue to discuss the lesson plan, even during dinner. You don’t notice Ellie’s  disappointed glances. She’d hoped to sit and talk with you, maybe even set up a hangout of some sort. Oh, well. She should’ve expected you’d be too busy for her. Ellie should’ve shot her shot when she had the chance.

When Ellie walks into her AP ELA class, she forgets she was expecting you. You sit at a desk similar to Ms. Frost’s, but in the back.

Ellie’s spooked, having flashbacks to being in this class together. Copying your answers on worksheets she’d forgotten to do as homework, stealing glances at you at every available opportunity.

She almost misses it, but seeing you all dressed up...That delicious F/C blazer with that crisp button-up that she just knew was hugging your body in a way she could only dream of… It made her not miss it at all.

The seats near your desk are taken, so Ellie settles for the one in the opposite back corner.

Ms. Frost clears her throat, and the pre-class chatter immediately silences.

“Most of you know her already, but if you’re new, or didn’t get the opportunity to meet her when she went to school here, we have the lovely Ms. L/N sitting in with us today.” Ms. Frost gestures to you.

Ellie, happy at the excuse to look at you but not showing it on her lips, turns to you immediately. You’re blushing an adorable shade, and you give a shy wave to the class, who waves back enthusiastically, excited to have someone both old and new around.

Once Ms. Frost begins talking again, the class settles down and begins to listen as they go over the syllabus. Ellie doesn’t stare anymore, but her mind is on you. Surely you weren’t into her the way she was into you, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t at least think about what it would be like if you did.. Well, maybe class isn’t the best time to think about that, she decides, her face a bit warm.

After class is over, Ellie leaves, but not before looking at you one last time. You catch her eye, and give an awkward smile, blushing. Oh, no, did you know? You were pretty damn smart, you probably knew. How awkward! Ellie wants to shrivel up and die as she makes her way to math class.

You watch today’s lecture online that evening, going over your notes from each of Ms. Frost’s classes you attended and condensing them. Someone knocks on your doorframe, and you jolt.

“Oh, hey, sorry,” Ellie greets you.

It’s Ellie. You’re a little bit scared, but overall happy.

“Hi, it’s fine, sorry, you startled me. What’s up?”

“Uh, nothing, I was just, y’know.. Uh, walking by, so I thought I’d, I don’t know. Say hi? Uh, forget it,” she explains, leaving. You don’t stop her, but worry about the reason why she was acting so irrationally. Oh, god, she knows. She knows and she hates you. Fuck! You wanna shrivel up and die as you continue to go over your notes.

Friday comes far too soon. Well, at least Ellie was in first period ELA, so it’d be like ripping off a bandage.

“So, we’re going to uh, play a game! You might have played this before, if you’ve taken a keyboarding class, or, um, you may have even played it in another English class. Basically, you’ll each get into groups of five, and work together to write a story. First, uh, one person from every group will draw a slip from this bowl here,” You explain, gesturing to said bowl. “It will have a word or phrase to help inspire the story.” You can feel Ellie’s eyes on yours, and you make contact for a brief moment before looking away nervously, your lips twitching up at the attention, before you get nervous again.

You continue: “Th-then, um, each person in the group gets a turn to write, for exactly one minute. It doesn’t matter who goes first, or what order you go in, as, uh, as long as everyone gets a turn. The point of this is to write a story that flows well, but it can still be funny or weird, in fact, I encourage it, because at the end of the game, each group will read their story for the class. It doesn’t matter how you read it, if you want one person to read it or to let each person read their part, as long as it gets read. After that, the class gets to guess what your inspiration was,” you explain to the rather attentive group, fidgeting as you do so. “Um, you can divide yourselves, if that’s alright with Ms. Frost.” Emma nods. “Any questions?”

Everyone shakes their heads, and they become a herd, scrambling to reach friends and partners and those known for being better writers.

As the game progresses, you set timers and let the class know when they’re over.

“Okay, so, who wants to go first?” you ask.

Jubilation Lee raises her hand, much to her fellow group member, Ellie’s, chagrin.You smile, excited to hear what they wrote.

“Alright, Jub’s group, you first!”

The five shuffle to the front, and Jubilation excitedly reads the story. It’s pretty funny, but you especially laugh in the middle, where the lonely protagonist attended a speed dating convention. The protagonist meets an absolutely beautiful woman; however, the protagonist is only allowed to talk about anything relating to time on Wednesday. It’s Friday, and the woman is asking questions like, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” The protagonist manages to answer other questions, but when the woman asks if she has plans this Saturday, the protagonist can’t say.

After the story is over, and the group sits down, someone from the group who sits near Ellie appears to nudging and smiling at her. She actually looks a bit happy, and you wonder why.

That afternoon, there’s a knock on your doorframe again.

“Ellie?” you ask.

“Nope, just me,” Wade replies.

“Hey, that’s almost as good,” you tell him.

“Almost? It’s better!” he playfully brags, flopping onto your bed. You currently sit at your desk, re-organizing your notes once more. “How’s my precious Y/N been? It’s funny, the day after you left I swung by your old apartment to check on you.”

“Aw, Wade, really?” you ask, a bit surprised.

“Nope!” he cackles, and you laugh as well.  “Just kidding again, I did. It’s weird that you’re not in NY anymore.”

“Hey, Y/N- Oh,” Ellie had stopped at your door.

“W-what’s up, Ellie?” you ask.

“Uh, nothing. It can- Um, it can wait,” she decides, looking a bit fretful before leaving.

“Oh, she totally likes you. Totally. Why aren’t you two married, again?” Wade asks.

“Shut up, she does not in any way like me back, Wade. I’m so sure of it. I’m so far from her type.”

“And what’s her type?”

“Anyone but me,” you inform him.

Ellie, listening while against the wall beside your open door, is shocked. She’s, like, so obviously into you that it’s not even funny. You’re a genius and you can’t even tell how badly she wants your legs wrapped around her head! Which is really badly, by the way!

When her section of the story made you laugh earlier, she nearly cried blood, she was so ecstatic! She almost wants to say something, but doesn’t want you to think she doesn’t respect your privacy, or that she’s just some creepy stalker. She really does like you, a lot.

“Oh, well. What’s up, Wade?”

“Do I need a reason to visit my BFFAE?” he asks, and you laugh. Ellie loves your laugh, not that she’d ever tell you that.

“I guess not, but I just figured you would have one now that I’m not one-hundred percent alone.”

“Well, I wanted to check on you. How are the classes going? Have you given anyone detention?! Ooh, that’s one way to get some time alone with her.”

“Wade, that’s creepy. She probably sees me as like, an old person now, anyway. I really need to get over this whole thing, stop allowing myself to feel this way for someone so unattainable, so far out of my league. Because there’s no way she likes me. No. Fucking. Way.” It sounds like you’ve flopped onto your bed.

“Don’t be so rough on yourself, kid. Crushes are normal at your age.”

“Nothing else about me is normal for my age, so that doesn’t really help,” your voice is muffled by your bed.

Well, at least Ellie now knows you like her, too. Now, to do something about it. Fuck, Ellie has no idea what to do. Does she tell you she likes you, too? Does she confess she was eavesdropping? Hell, what if Wade was just being weird, and referring to another girl without saying names, in case Ellie was still in earshot?! It didn’t make sense, but Ellie’s overthinking combined with Wade’s weirdness made for some pretty wacky conclusion trampolines to jump to.

She makes sure to get away before someone sees her peeping.

The following Tuesday, Ms. Frost requests that that the class pair up; however, there are twenty-five students. Every once in awhile, one or two of the mentors that only teach extracurriculars will assist a teacher. Piotr, Ellie’s mentor, was here today.

“Ellie can pair up with Y/N, no?” He suggests, and you look as uncomfortable as Ellie feels.

“That’s a perfect idea, Piotr. Don’t be giving her the answers, though,” Ms. Frost teases, giving Ellie’s crush (you) a wink.

Ms. Frost passes the worksheets down the rows, assigning everyone but Ellie a partner once they are passed along.

Ellie moves to sit with you, and she swears you blush.

“So…” you start, but trail off.

“So,” she replies.

“I guess we’re supposed to read this Greek myth and analyze it? Don’t tell on me, but sometimes when Emma starts talking about lesson plans I zone out,” you tell it to her like it’s a real secret, an adorable little smile on your lips that charms her into one of her own.

“Oh, won’t you two just bang already? The level of denial is obnoxious,” a nearby student groans, and you look like a deer in the headlights. A cute deer, Ellie thinks.

“I’m pretty sure that’d be pretty inappropriate, and even if it wasn’t, I’m sure I’m way below her standards, or anyone else’s, am I right?” You laugh it off, unsure of what you want her to say. A yes would be heartbreaking, but a no would leave you absolutely defenseless to the overwhelming feelings you’d been shielding yourself from for so very long.

Are you crazy? Anyone would be lucky to date you.

You go deep red, then dead-faced, then red. Oh god, Ellie had said that out loud.

“I- Uh- Well- Um…” She tried to remedy it, but no such luck, as she is cut off by Ms. Frost.

“Your relationship drama can wait until after class, Miss Phimister and Miss L/N,” Emma tells the two of you, furthering embarrassing you both.

“So, uh, Perseus. Andromeda. Greek… stuff,” you say, but your hand finds its way to hers, pinkies interwoven on the table as you read. She watches your soft lips move, observing your still-flushed cheeks. You’re wearing a similar shirt to the one you wore the first day, but in black. It looks good.

You feel her eyes on you, so you turn to her. She looks up and away, commenting something snarky about how dumb Andromeda’s parents were. You agree.

Class continues, the two of you filling out the worksheet together and awkwardly discussing how to answer each question.

Throughout the rest of the day, Ellie physically cannot stop thinking about you. If it was bad before, it was terrible now.

She’s on her way to her dorm when she’s stopped by a particularly annoying man in a red suit.

“Hey, you seen Y/N around?”

“How long have you known?” Ellie asks, and Wade seems to get it.

“Oh, about a month after meeting her. I commented on a guy’s really good looks, she said he wasn’t her type. I said, ‘What’s your type? Ugly people?!’ She said, ‘Girls.’ Then-“

“I mean, how long have you known that she likes me?”

“I was getting to that. A few days later, I asked her if she knew you, ‘cause you guys go to the same school and are about the same age. She got all flustered, it was precious.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because that would be really shitty of me to do as Y/N’s BFFAE? Duh! Now, I have a Y/N to find.”

“No, I have a Y/N to find.”

Wade, despite wearing a mask, appears to narrow his eyes. “Wow, she was right. You do have good bone structure. Now go! I want grandbabies!”

You think she has good bone structure? That encourages her, and she checks Ms. Frost’s room. She’d checked yours before running into Wade.

“You just missed her. She’s on her way to your dorm, unless she chickened out after asking me where it was.”

Ellie goes to her dorm, but you’re not there. She looks around, unsure of what to do.

“I thought you were at Y/N’s dorm. That is what I told her when she discovered you were not here at your own,” Piotr informs Ellie, who groans, jogging to your dorm in hopes of catching you.

She does.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over the place for you,” you greet her nervously.

“Well, uh..” Ellie blushes, having no clue what to say, but she knows what she wants to do, so she does it, and kisses you. It’s clumsy, because she’s never kissed anyone before, but she gets the feeling you haven’t either, so it’s okay. It’s good. It’s perfect.

The kiss ends after what feels like two seconds, but also forever, and Ellie didn’t know it was possible for either of you to blush deeper than you already had been, but it was.

“That was, um.. I liked it.”

“Me too,” she replies. “So.. Do you wanna, like, I don’t know.. date and eventually give Wade the grandchildren he’s so obsessed with having? Well, grand-kittens?”

You nod, a bit speechless at her offer.

“Great. Good work, team,” she begins rambling a bit to fill the awkward silence, and you kiss her cheek, looking at her with a proud smile and a beautiful look in your eyes.