#Sab answers asks

[94erz]

I just finished listening to an English translation of Joon's live from earlier today, and I am just heartbroken and completely frustrated for him. Military service really did a number on him, probably a lot more than he shared, and I just pray he can recover from all that fucking trauma. Fuck the shitty SK government that put him and the members through that kind of shit. And fuck Hybe for their part in causing our giant softie to go through SHIT.

Anyways, at least he's free and can leave it all behind.

I'm going to have to watch it as soon as I can, but from what I've gathered so far from others is that he revealed a lot of difficult things, and like, it was always clear he would struggle the most with enlistment, so it hurts to know we were right and it truly was a shit experience for him. I'm glad it wasn't worse, but it's not good either.

I'm sure there will always be things he and the others can't reveal out of fear of social backlash or simply because it's too difficult to discuss. He may share more or he may go the Jin and Hoseok route of not talking about it anymore, giving vague answers if/when they are asked, and just generally trying to move past it. As he and they should, they did their time, paid their dues to their country, and now they don't owe the government fucking shit.

That's the real silver living here, and I hope he takes all the time he needs to process his experience and allows himself to express what he can in any way he can, if that means he puts it into music, or gets a therapist again, whatever helps.

[greensaplinggrace]

🔥 Aleksander's mommy issues and if that plays a role in his relationships

I will say until I die that aleksander's relationships with others are defined by his relationship with immortality and thus with his mother - who not only taught him everything about it, but who has also been the only consistent presence in his life for over four hundred years. this is the woman that developed an emotionally codependent and incestuous relationship with him as well as groomed him into the type of man she would wish to have a partnership with, which further defines the ways he views himself, the world, other people, and his connections to them.

all of this correlates to his many relationships, but especially his romantic one with alina. he mirrors his traumas with his mother and therefore with eternity in his dynamic with her. he is simultaneously the perpetrator and the victim. where he spent hundreds of years forgiving his mother for her abuse of him because the alternative is eternal loneliness, he expects of alina the same level of forgiveness for his actions based on that same latent despair - because he was taught at a fundamental age that a dichotomy exists in the universe, and the only way to find anything good at all - safety or happiness or connection - is to center all needs around the threat of inevitable punishment. not punishment in any physical sense, but punishment at a transcendental level.

the reason baghra did this was to groom him. the reason any parent does this (and it is especially prevalent with religion and cults) is to control their children and guide them toward the ideal path (which is always the path they themselves are on).

like most abusive relationships, baghra relies on cult tactics to develop a dynamic with her son that erodes all boundaries and erases any attempt at creating them further down the line - effectively taking ownership of his personhood and growth. she redefines his emotional associations to link them all to herself, and she even takes possession of his body in a variety of ways, until she has molded the perfect partner. one who shares all of her values and so will never leave her side - and who is entirely and completely isolated through both a lack of consistently stable connections and the lack of ability to create them.

baghra has always, after all, had her control threatened most by two things when it comes to her son: his idealism - which drives his moral compass away from her - and his desire for other connections. which means that to truly have him as a partner, she must take control of these narratives herself. so, she must destroy his ability to connect, and she must mold his morals to fit alongside her own. meaning constant and consistent contact with him and every part of his life.

similarly, we see even this reflected in aleksander's dynamic with alina. aleksander attempts to relate to her in the only way he knows how: by exerting control and by guiding her down the path he is on - by claiming to know what is best for her. in the exact same way baghra has continually tried to repossess him throughout the years by leading him down the 'best path for him' - one that she defines as redemption through inaction. one that she knows could allow her to control him again through reestablishing his existential relationship with punishment, loss, loneliness, and fear.

she seeks to do this because she needs him walking beside her again, easily pliable. because while time has furthered him from her, she is at least still in his life holding some of the reins, but nothing has threatened her grasp on her son as much as another prospective partner. one that won't harm him the way she has and one that could easily reveal exactly how much of himself he has lost to his mother in her claims about living eternally. one that could prove to be a real, stable relationship for him - unraveling all of the threads she so carefully wound.

like baghra did with him, aleksander fosters a codependent relationship with alina, because he was taught that such a relationship is the only way to survive immortality (and that this is how relationships work at all). he desires alina to be his immortal companion, in the same way his mother desired him, because he longs - probably without realizing - for a relationship that is not defined by constant abuse. but he has none of the resources to break free of the cycle of abuse, because he cannot even conceptualize that the things baghra taught him are abusive.

everything baghra taught him, he repeats to alina. every lesson about immortality, he repeats to alina. the possessiveness which defines his relationship with his mother - the ways she controls his interactions with others and isolates him completely - this he mirrors also with alina. because the only framework he possesses for a long-lasting connection is his relationship with his mother, and he is so starved for real connection that he craves it.

he craves it because baghra made him crave it. because she starved him of affection and made him reliant upon her as his sole provider for it. then she destroyed any other source he might find. she did this because she wanted to ensure he would always come back to her and forgive her. additionally, they are in the position of being entirely unique, which only further provides another tool for abuse. it is so so easy to neatly isolate someone when they are already othered completely and have no reliable means of long-term connection but you. it is so so easy to starve someone and lead them to believe they are gorging themselves when there is no other source of sustenance.

but then comes alina. who is also immortal. and who is quite capable of not only walking down aleksander's path, but having aleksander walk down hers. and alina will give aleksander the sustenance he needs. alina will give a long-lasting relationship with real happiness and affection and touch and love. alina will make him realize that the ways he tries to fulfill his cravings - the ways baghra taught him - are wrong.

which brings the situation to the plot.

alina's moral conflict is falsely dichotomized into two things:

a) kill the 'monster' and believe the true social issues that caused it can be solved through inaction.

or b) give in to the latent 'evil' that comes with being grisha, reveling in power, greed, and selfishness.

baghra as the author's mouthpiece supports the former, which means alina's 'enlightenment' must eventually follow this path - for the true moral message to be conveyed. and this path leads her away from the darkling. thus, it is inevitable within such a narrative that she would have to do so.

however, contextually, baghra's actions when putting alina on this path are those of an abuser losing control of their victim. while she operates within a narrative role, she acts in a way that is easily identifiable. the very specific way in which baghra confronts aleksander's relationships with others in both the books and the show (especially his relationship with alina) is that of someone who wishes to remove outside influences from the perfectly tailored environment of their victim. if alina begins to trust aleksander and start a relationship with him, then this environment will be disrupted - possibly destroyed - and he will be removed from baghra's influence forever. baghra, as an eternally lonely person, cannot let this happen.

but she has a new way of living, now. one that her son rejects, because he is finally trying to become his own person and create his own path. so, she molds alina into exactly what she is and ties alina to her completely, effectively ruining her son's chances for any connection outside of her ever again. not only that, but she severs any future attempts at connection between them by taking control of the narrative about aleksander. meaning alina will defer to baghra about him, about morals, about what paths to walk and what actions to take. she will defer to her about anything that leads in aleksander's direction, because she must 1) do so for narrative purposes (and baghra is first and foremost the narrative compass) and 2) reject all associations with his character completely.

so aleksander is now trapped in an abusive cycle with both women, and the options are either alina, who is not only his abuser’s mouthpiece, but someone who has been cut off from any attempt at a connection with him completely. or his mother, who is in many ways relying on alina's treatment of him to drive him back into her arms.

aleksander, who cannot conceivably understand why he longs for another partner, must focus on alina. but as someone who was brutally stripped of any ability to connect healthily, he can only communicate with her one way - through possession, control, fear, and manipulation. and because she now erects the same barriers baghra does and walks the same path as her- well. the pattern of abuse continues.

so yeah. I think he mimics his relationship with baghra in his other relationships. he attempts to connect in the only ways he knows how, and when he tries to move outside of the box and connect in his own way, baghra intervenes. he is a centuries old abuse victim that will literally never gain the resources or outside connections required to develop healthy relationships. and sab is lauded as a narrative on the side of abuse survivors. lmfao.

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion (x)

[gojonanami]

shinjuku really is the final arc huh 🥲🥲🥲

i really thought we would have a last arc about the merger

[rrat-king]

8,9 & 23 for the ask gamee!!

8. your favourite day

my friend has a "lake house" (its a shack on a hill near a dam in the texas hill country so like, grain of salt) and we used to spend weekends out there and i just remember one of the trips up there the dam had let out and the water was high enough that it met one of granite shelves and they layed out on the rock and we played cards while i was in the water. we ate bbq and smoked on the porch and when you woke up you could hear peacocks across the canyon it just... it's magical in its own way.

9. ao3 text that you keep under your pillow<3

comment from one of the first d20 fics that I think about often:

it’s almost 8am and I haven’t managed to sleep so I’m sitting on the stairs in the house I came to in much the same way as the two of them ended up at morded, so this resonated with me in more ways than I can say. thank you for bringing some solace (no pun intended) to my insomnia <33

23. how did you play with dolls if you had them

oh I was a huge doll kid growing up, I had like a million Barbies and ever after high dolls and I loved to just set them up in scenes and whoever was most important in the scene I would hold, and pet her hair. it was always like, intense sorority house drama over who got the best room or certain space or the best clothes but I would just sit in front of my dollhouse for hours just like, petting a doll and thinking basically

ask game here !!

[todayisdeadinside]

Yeah. Sure. How can I send the photos?

My dms are open, you could send screenshots there or via askbox and I won't post your url if you ask me not to. You can also make a sideblog not linked to you and dm me from there if you're really worried about anonymity.

[osaemu]

hey siri how do i get interested in jjk again

[lost-coder]

32: What words upset me the most

Filhal toh "tu toh topper hai tujhe toh sab aata hoga"

[suugarbabe]

I just saw the ask game, how about 20, 26, 29, & 40?

Have a wonderful day! 😊❤️💚

YOU have a wonderful day lovie <3

20: If you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what show would it be? I think lizzie mcguire, it was truly ahead of it's time; humor, topics, fashion, quip backs *chefs kiss* to all of it

26: favourite kid’s show character? miss frizzle, the queen of embracing your weird and always encouraging you to expand your mind

29: what’s the last outfit you wore? i'm going with the last outfit i wore actually outside the house so...some black cropped jeans frayed at the bottom, a pierce the veil shirt & black doc boots

40: what’s the most interesting item you own? ugh, i'm not quite sure i'm a collector of weird things...maybe my practice samurai sword? it's a hit with drunk friends lmaoooo

[celesteablack]

We are waiting for your new posts/asks. 🤍✨

Oh damnnn i feel special 🥹

[greenglassmountain]

✅☺️🧮?

✅: List one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite.

Oooh, this is a hard one! I have some absolutely beautiful lines from abandoned fics (something about a quicksilver heart and sunrise stretching like thick slabs of gold across the sky) that I want to reuse someday, but for the sake of relevance here are a couple from fics I'm still invested in:

From Fights, Phone Calls, and Aerial Manoeuvers (M:I/The Saint):

There’s a pause on the end of the line. “The what list?” The Saint says, very politely.

These were probably my favourite lines in the fic because they made me cackle every time I read them. It's a very clear sign that Ethan's gotta do some fast talking to get out of the trouble he just stepped into. The world's best thief has principles, and boy howdy, Ethan just trampled on several.

From Understand me a little, love me a little (Shadow and Bone) - Alina's first time unleashing her sun summoning abilities:

She squeezes her eyes shut tighter, forcibly shoving all her focus onto the light calling her. She follows it beneath her skin, rushing through her veins and up through channels and pumps, through her heart and swirling around her ribcage. She dives deeper and deeper to where the pressure grows ever more intense, squeezing into her from all sides, a deafening rush that fills her up and swallows her whole until it’s hard to tell where she ends and the light begins—and then, suddenly, she’s bursting out, up and up and up through every light every candle every sunrise and sunset in the world, through the stars and the sun and the ever-spinning earth beneath her. She is everywhere, she is infinite, she is never-ending and boundless, she is the light and it is hers-hers-hers, forever and always, until every star is gone and the universe and everything within it turns to dust.

This is a long one, but I love the whole paragraph so much. It's the first time I start to explore the idea that there's something different, something inhuman about our main trio. The idea of Alina losing herself in her powers to the extent that she basically leaves her body is something that I wanted to explore - these folks are powerful, and that comes with consequences. This fic also has so many lovely descriptions that were so fun to write, of which this paragraph was one of many.

😊: Say something nice about your writing

I love when I get to write more flowery or poetic descriptive imagery (if you couldn't tell from the above answer 😅). I think I produce some gorgeous visuals. My writing is a little more pared down, these days, but I think my descriptions are still lovely to read.

🧮: What are you working on? describe it in 20 words or less

Simon Has Two Hands: The Series (i.e., Emma is introduced to the saintspy universe) 😉

[94erz]

Killin it girl is the lowest debut of hoseok on spotify till date. Armys did him dirty again but this time they made it so much worse.

I'm gonna be honest here and say it's probably because the song is genuinely the weakest of the 3 singles. If his plan was to appeal to the same crowd that 7 and 3D did then it failed because it's not about the sex appeal, it's about how insane JK solos and fans are (as well as the massive company push). Hoseok is too late to appeal to that crowd. While on the other hand, j-hope's own built-in fanbase does not love that approach either because it's shallow and the byproduct is a song not a lot of us genuinely love and want to stream because it's lacking the lyricism we all like and enjoy from him. Personally, the best way to consume this song is the live performances because at least the choreo is good, the song itself is really the bare minimum.

These singles were fun, a nice little project to see if he could try and amass more support from that side of that fuck ass fandom but now he can see for himself that it truly does not matter what he does, it's not going to get him more support from those people. So he should make music as he always has, doing whatever he wants, playing in any genre, playing around with concepts and just generally stop giving a fuck. Namjoon has already arrived at that place and he needs to join him. We get better music that way and not these TikTok challenge soundbites.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh, I don't hate the song, it's just not what I expect from him. I think Mona Lisa was the best out of the 3 and its success kind of proved it. I'll look back on this era of his with about as much enthusiasm as DynaButterPTD, fun, but I know there's something better (literally all of his other work, except for LV LOL)

[greensaplinggrace]

🔥for Genya Safin? 👀

anytime anybody attributes genya's decision to remain in the grand palace entirely to the darkling, they do her character a major disservice. they erase her depth, her traumas, her agency, and some of the key, defining points of her personality, her relationship with choice, and her driving motivation. not only that, but in large part, when people "excuse" genya from this decision, they are couching their reasoning in terms of perfect victimhood and female infantilization. I have never seen an analysis of this scene pushing all of the blame onto the darkling that did not in some way shame imperfect victimhood and moral ambiguity in women.

we lose a lot of good character analysis when we refuse to engage with women's choices as their own. people like to strip them of consequences or agency in order to blame others for their actions, because to admit women are capable of being imperfect victims or people with darkness in them or people that make bad choices or unreasonable decisions - like any person would - is to engage in a level of nuance that fandom rejects. you flatten these characters into perverse caricatures and you fetishize their victimhood without accounting for the reality of such trauma, and in doing so you brush aside the ugliness of the situation and you scrape out everything that makes the victim a person and you replace it with a doll you can easily defend.

genya made a choice. it was not the darkling's choice, it was her own. what happened in this situation was a very fascinating intersection of character motivations and personalities in a situation that highlighted their greatest traits. it is baffling to me that people like to flatten this scene when it is by far the most interesting one out there - imo anything between aleksander and genya is interesting because they are so similar, but I digress.

you have two very practical and goal focused characters in the same room together. you have the darkling give a young girl an ultimatum - strike one: this is a mark against him. he should not be giving children of this age any ultimatums when they are too young to be making such decisions. but he is a general and they are his soldiers and he is a character whose motivational focus is idealistic at the rejection of the individual. he is a) practical, and b) opportunistic - so this scene is a fascinating look into these aspects of his character.

then you've got the darkling engaging with genya. he is relating to her and he is sympathizing with her. people love to mark this as either full manipulation or complete non-manipulative empathy. but realistically, it would be both. it is very likely the darkling understands what genya is going through and is very sympathetic to it. it is very likely the darkling would not push her further to remain in the grand palace if she chose otherwise. but he is practical, and he has certain goals, and he respects genya's strength of character. he is also one of the only characters fully aware of the political climate, and one of the only politically savvy characters on the side of the grisha.

genya remaining in the grand palace is the best decision, in his mind. to remove her would put the grisha on the backfoot. to remove her would put the grisha at a disadvantage in the political climate, and it would instead give the king leverage over them. she is also useful to him, because he is an opportunist, and this is the most reasonable option to him, because he is practical. so he doesn't just remove her from the situation, he gives her a choice.

genya is also practical. she is highly competent and incredibly smart. she is vengeful, she is vicious, she is ruthless, she is prideful, and she is unbelievably caring. it is fucking baffling to me that people assume she's some wilting flower that was wholly manipulated into her situation and then simply sadly endured while she wished for a better life until she could be rescued by her savior when in reality she takes an active role in her story and is the fucking symbol of quiet, ruthless, karmic resistance and righteous fury.

the decision genya makes to stay is the crux of her character. it is her defining moment. everything you can glean about her character can be directly derived from this decision that she makes. and people will just take that away from her? you're joking. let's just say she didn't choose to side with alina as well while we're at it. those scars she got were random and not the direct consequence of her own choice. those scars she has aren't symbols of her resolve and her loneliness and her compassion and the strength she must have had to spare alina knowing what the darkling would do to her. they're just there I guess - all the darkling's fault. please. I'm fucking seething.

genya has reasons for deciding to stay in the grand palace. and she remains there because she has reasons. she has internal logic and depth of character. she has a driving motive that - surprise - puts her in danger! she suffers and she is traumatized and it is because the darkling gave her an ultimatum and it is because of grisha persecution and it is because of the king's corruption and the queen's inaction. but first and foremost it is because she chose to stay. because her character - her personality - dictates it. and she is not regretful.

like you all love to make her some weeping perfect victim when she's not. you love to say she'd fold in on herself waiting for rescue when she wouldn't. you love to say she'd walk away from her goals and her motives and her care for both the individual and the masses when everything about her says otherwise. you love to make her kinder than she is, softer than she is, less practical than she is - because she is too much like the darkling in too many ways and this is simply unacceptable in this fandom. none of these female characters have depth or gray morality to you. none of these female characters have complicated relationships with their trauma and their choices to you. it's literally all just the fault of one man. and I'm sick of it.

genya fucking looked the darkling in his eyes and forgave him for what he did to her. not because she cared about him, but because she cared about herself and her recovery. in a feat of monumental strength and incredible fortitude. literally all this fandom does when they talk about her is judge the darkling. as if she doesn't at all exist beyond him. how is that in any way liberating or providing understanding for survivors like her?

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion (x)

[gojonanami]

vampire choso tomorrow 🫣🩸

I’m still working my way through the smut so it’s taking a bit!

prof geto (6) probably will come out next weekend :)

[rrat-king]

18,39 & 43 for the ask game!!

18. A quote I live by

i guess it's not so much a quote so much as a saying, but at the front of several of my journals is written the phrase "all i know is that i am loved" which is something i try to hold very close to my heart. i don't have to be good, i am allowed to make mistakes, because if i know nothing else, at least i know i am loved

39. My favorite song.

god this... this changes constantly but one i think about very often is kinda a strange but 7 O'Clock News / Silent Night by Simon and Garfunkel. Its the last song that plays on their parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme album, one of the first records i ever owned, and it just holds a lovely if not slightly lonesome part in young birds heart

43. My favorite piece of clothing

i answered this before but truly i have several different favorite pieces so i will share another. i have a black vest i inherited from my uncle when he passed away and its one of my favorite things to layer with. it's got a few holes but its vintage soft and i like wearing it knowing it was his. he was the only other gay person i knew in my family so i love wearing it to the club. i figure thats what he would want lol

ask game here !!!

[urapocolypticcrush]

WHO'S THE CUTE BOY WITH THE WHITE JACKET AND THE THICK ACCENT LIKE 😋😋

MAYBE ITS ALL IN MY HEAD BUT I BET WE’D HAVE REALLY GOOD BED CHEM 😍😍😋😋 I FEAR THIS ONES FOR US AND US ONLY HANNAH 🤭🤭🥰🥰

[osaemu]

if you have to constantly say ur winning the idgaf war, ur not ☠️