#Sabine will still be along for the ride

[kalevalakryze]

[mandosaur]

Green-Eyed Monster (Ezra Bridger / Reader)

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Ezra Bridger/Reader

Summary:

“ Your one insecurity had always been that you were second to Sabine. Even when Ezra had disappeared all those years ago and your heart had painfully torn in two, you still felt second best. Ezra had left you a beautiful little message telling you he loved you for the first time before he had disappeared, yet Sabine had received one too. Even worse, Ahsoka had taken Sabine as an apprentice years ago instead of you though you both lacked an affinity for the force. Another insult your insecurities had twisted into a blade against you.

Now, ten years later, that jealousy had not dissipated. Instead, it had crossed with the horrible feeling of guilt.

While you had mourned Ezra’s death and moved on slowly, Sabine had never given up hope. She had remained on Lothal for years and always kept her ear out for news of Ezra. You had returned to your home planet and given up hope of ever finding your childhood sweetheart. Sabine had beat you yet again in seemingly being a better option for Ezra.”

Reader gets reunited with Ezra after ten years all while tormented by the thought that Sabine would be a better fit for him.

Warnings: Depictions of a panic attack. Spoilers for Ahsoka Season 1.

Word Count: 7,962

Expected Reading Time: 28:57

Jealousy. There’s a horrible feeling deep in your very bones that rakes a claw down your being. You can feel every deep gash clearly as you scowl at the bottom of your tea. Your fingers curl and uncurl against the handle of the mug as Sabine chatters with Ahsoka.

Huyang turns his mechanic head towards you from the pilot seat and Ahsoka glances your way as if sensing your turmoil from the force, but Sabine remains oblivious. Once more, everyone can sense your emotions except the very target of your ire. You bury your anger as you take a long sip of the tea and let the liquid burn your tongue.

It’s been ten years since you lost Ezra and you still can’t manage to reel in the jealousy you feel towards Sabine. She’s an old friend, someone you trust implicitly, and yet the ugly green eyed monster rears its head every time she’s near.

Ever since you were kids, you envied her. She was an old friend from your imperial academy days and seemed to be better than you even then. She was born to high ranked Mandalorian parents whereas you were born the youngest to farmers in a backwater planet. She climbed up high in the academy and won awards while you hid in her shadow and merely fulfilled requirements. She was scouted by Hera and the rebels while you simply tagged along for the ride.

And she was the person that Ezra originally had a crush on while you watched painfully from the sidelines.

Ten years ago, you had fallen in love with someone you thought you could never have. One Ezra Bridger had won you over and crushed your heart without meaning to. While you had pined for him in the background, he had pined over Sabine. You had watched it all happen while cursing yourself for yet again not being as great as her.

Even after a miracle had happened and Ezra’s sights had turned to you, you had still felt jealousy towards Sabine. While Ezra had reassured you that he liked you and made you his girlfriend, you had still harbored some resentment towards your oldest friend. There had always been a little voice inside your head that had taunted you with the knowledge that Ezra was only yours because Sabine hadn’t wanted him. That you had been a consolation prize and second best.

Your one insecurity had always been that you were second to Sabine. Even when Ezra had disappeared all those years ago and your heart had painfully torn in two, you still felt second best. Ezra had left you a beautiful little message telling you he loved you for the first time before he had disappeared, yet Sabine had received one too. Even worse, Ahsoka had taken Sabine as an apprentice years ago instead of you though you both lacked an affinity for the force. Another insult your insecurities had twisted into a blade against you.

Now, ten years later, that jealousy had not dissipated. Instead, it had crossed with the horrible feeling of guilt.

While you had mourned Ezra’s death and moved on slowly, Sabine had never given up hope. She had remained on Lothal for years and always kept her ear out for news of Ezra. You had returned to your home planet and given up hope of ever finding your childhood sweetheart. Sabine had beat you yet again in seemingly being a better option for Ezra.

For years, she had tried to get you on her side. She had told you to not give up hope and to help her find Ezra, yet you had pushed her away. Your grief and heartache were easier to manage if you told yourself Ezra was gone for good. As much as it pained you, you gave up all hope and harshly rebuked Sabine for still clinging to the idea of him returning. Anything to kill the last shreds of hope that remained within you before time could do it for you.

You had, had a massive falling out and hadn’t spoken in years. Not until Hera had commed you with Ahsoka and told you to return to Lothal because of a lead Ahsoka had about Thrawn.

Thrawn, Hera claimed, was the key to finding Ezra. The two of them had disappeared together. If one of them was rumored to be alive, the other might be too.

You had come back to Lothal after much trepidation and reunited with Sabine. To her credit, she had accepted you back into her group even if things between you were awkward and strained.

Still, being back near her and reopening the wound of Ezra’s disappearance had brought back a decade worth of insecurity and envy.

The tea burns down your throat as you finish it off. You wish Ashoka had packed something stronger. Were you back home, you would have loved to drink until the edge wore off.

Stuck in a ship with Sabine though, you bite your lip.

It truly isn’t fair, you know. Sabine was your oldest friend. You had met at the imperial academy and struck a friendship. You both had joined the empire as a way to rise in rank for your families, and both had seen past the gilded veneer of fascism. Once upon a time, you two regarded each other as sisters and you made quite the trio with Ketsu-

But fate had driven a wedge between you. You had fallen for someone who liked Sabine at the time and always felt second best. That jealousy had torn you to shreds and created a wall between the two of you. You aren’t sure how to manage it and the thought stings.

The call of your name brings you out of your thoughts. Sabine remains unaware of the darkness coiling inside you and calls for you to look over something. She’s brought her research with her and has been pouring over diagrams that she thinks could help in the hunt for Ezra.

You wander over to her side and pretend to make sense of the mess of lines and circles she’s drawn on a holomap. Ahsoka eyes you wearily as Sabine talks and you suppress the urge to clench your fists.

“No, I’ve never seen this galaxy either,” you murmur. Your eyes don’t even gaze at the map Sabine is pointing at. Your mind is miles away running from you and the horrible pit in your stomach that grows with every second.

Guilt and jealousy swirl within you. You are angry. Furious even. Angry at Sabine for dragging you back in the hopes of finding a man you love that you’ve tried hard to get over. Angry at the force for tearing Ezra away from you-

And angry at yourself for yet again being weaker than Sabine.

Sabine had never given up. While you had run from Lothal and tried hard to forget your childhood sweetheart, Sabine had remained steadfast. It was she who had unlocked the map coordinates while you had stared at that damn ball for hours until your head hurt and your eyes had turned red. It was Sabine who could think of a million different ways to continue the hunt while you could barely keep yourself from screaming.

In every way that counted, in every Maker’s damned one sided competition, she had always been ahead.

“Can you read this for me-?“

Sabine reaches past you to click on a screen. Projections of documents appear before you all with the names of different galaxies and star maps. You clench your jaw as you notice all the notes she’s taken over each document. She’s been at it for years, no doubt, always searching. Never giving up. Unlike you-

The one person that should have never given up on Ezra. The one who had sworn to love him forever, the one who had dreamed of marrying him, the one who should have been fighting from the beginning to find him-

Ahsoka’s hand touches your shoulder. You turn your head and find her gaze on you.

“Perhaps Huyang should look over the information instead. He can process it faster,” Ahsoka tells Sabine.

Huyang accepts the assignment and takes the tablet from Sabine. Sabine hardly notices the way you glare in her direction.

“Are you feeling alright?” Ahsoka questions. Her tone is gentle yet firm. Concerned for your feelings yet weary of the darkness inside you.

Briefly, you remember Kanan and Ezra discussing the force. Mentioning how they could sometimes sense emotions and tell when people were struggling. You’re sure Ahsoka has noticed how you flicker between rage and heartbreak over and over again.

You aren’t sure whether you should apologize or thank her for interceding. Had she not stepped in, you think you might have snapped and started screaming at Sabine to leave you alone.

“Fine,” you whisper back.

You certainly don’t feel fine and the lie tastes bitter in your mouth, but you shrug away her arm. Murmuring something about needing a break, you move past the group and disappear into another room of the ship.

Huyang’s workshop is tidy and neatly organized. You take stock of every lightsaber piece as your fingers trace every groove and indent.

To add further insult to injury, you don’t have possession of Ezra’s lightsaber either. You had, had it once right after Lothal had been freed but had surrendered it to Sabine on Ahsoka’s suggestion. When Ahsoka had decided to train Sabine as a Jedi over you, you had silently handed over the last remnant of the boy you loved and stormed off broken and bitter.

The lightsaber pieces around you are each different. You don’t see anything that resembles Ezra’s pieces anywhere. After a while, you end up just sliding into an empty seat and your head falls into your hands.

Everything is utterly in disarray. Your mind races with a million thoughts and you’re sure your heart is a pile of jagged pieces each shattered beyond repair.

The truth of the matter is that you know your insecurities are right. Sabine is better than you. At everything.

Had she liked Ezra back years ago, he would have never looked in your direction. The bittersweet memories you had of dating him would have never happened. You would have never been chosen if his first choice hadn’t panned out. Ezra had tried once to tell you that it wasn’t true, that he had genuinely fallen for you and it had nothing to do with Sabine only seeing him as a brother, but you hadn’t believed him.

And now? Now she was definitely better than you.

You had given up. You had once promised Ezra to love him forever yet had believed him dead. You had left Lothal, the planet he had sacrificed everything to protect, and suppressed every memory of him. You had dated around in hopes of forgetting his ghost and tried hard to move on-

All while Sabine had never lost hope. She had always fought for him and looked everywhere. She had never once believed him gone. You had the obligation to search for him as his girlfriend, yet you had failed him. Had it not been for Sabine, Ezra would have been truly lost.

The thought makes you want to scream. You grit your teeth tightly until your jaw hurts. If you weren’t so indebted to Sabine for finding a lead, you think you’d want to swing at her. She’s always been better than you. Ezra should have just held out for her all along rather than taking you as a consolation prize.

Feeling suddenly like you’re suffocating, you slam your fist into the control panel to slide open the door. Sabine looks up as you enter and Ahsoka quietly moves to allow you to retake your old seat. You ignore them all as you slide into place and hover your fingers over the tablet.

You need a distraction. Anything to keep the terrible feelings at bay. You slam some keys down until the maps disappear and you’re staring at a blank slate.

Quietly, you bury yourself in your work all the while stewing and boiling with rage.

———————————————

Days later, Sabine’s determination beats you once more. Cornered by Baylan and Shin, you and Sabine are forced to make a choice on what to do. Ashoka is gone and the map is in Sabine’s possession. You two have to decide whether to turn it over to the very people Ahsoka wanted to keep it from or cling to the hope that Ezra can be found.

When Baylan promises to take you both to him, you hesitate. Ahsoka’s words play over and over again in your head. She has long been warning you about what will happen if Thrawn returns. You know she would want you to destroy the map and keep Thrawn in exile forever-

But what about Ezra? Will destroying the map strand him wherever he is forever too? Will you give up your last chance at ever finding him?

Your mind and your heart wage a war. You want desperately to see Ezra again but you remember his sacrifice. You know he’d want to protect the galaxy from the Empire. You don’t know what to do-

In the end, Sabine beats you to it. Better than you in every way, she hands over the map to Baylan. She accepts the terms for you both and tells you to drop your weapon with a calm, clear voice. You both hate her and feel grateful that she’s taken the choice out of your hands.

You let them cuff you and don’t even react when Shin uses the force to cut off your airway. Nothing she could possibly do could hurt more than the ugly feeling of being a disappointment. Once more, Sabine has proven herself a better fit for Ezra than you. Were he to ever find out that you hesitated on this choice, you think he’d leave you once and for all and realize that Sabine has always been better for him.

When you and Sabine face off Thrawn, you hardly pay attention. The villain that plagued you for years hasn’t changed much. His glowing red eyes sweep over you with mild boredom before he directs all his attention at Sabine. He seems genuinely unamused when he realizes Sabine has traded the galaxy for the hope of finding Ezra.

You feel a cold knife twist in your stomach and look away as Sabine faces Thrawn off. There is no hesitation or remorse in her gaze when she coldly tells Thrawn that he could never understand. You wince feeling guilty at the memory of your own hesitation.

It seems like Sabine is the only one completing this journey. When the two of you mount your steeds, it’s her who fights off the bandits. She moves like a lightning strike taking them down while you throw punches and kicks at random barely managing to take down one while she’s got the squad down in moments. When a Noti appears, it’s Sabine who realizes he’s wearing a Jedi symbol on his clothing.

You feel like a shadow merely following her around. Every new revelation and step closer to finding Ezra brings you both joy and envy.

Sabine feels like she’s better suited for the role of Ezra’s partner compared to you. She’s been loyal, determined, and fierce in his search. You, who had a responsibility to find him, had given up. Ezra deserved better than you.

By the time you make it back to Noti’s village, you feel the weight of your own soul crushing you. You feel painfully jealous, angry at yourself, and broken down. You try to ignore Sabine as she urges you forward telling you that something about this particular village feels different.

You’re so downtrodden that you don’t even realize someone is calling your name until you turn your head and hear Sabine’s breath hitch. Time seems to slow down as your eyes meet a striking blue that you haven’t seen in years. Your heart races and you move to run at Ezra-

When Sabine beats you to it.

She all but rushes past you to beat you to Ezra first. Ezra, half way to you, is interrupted as Sabine crashes into him. Her arms wrap around his frame and she buries her head into his neck. He looks like he wants to move to you for a brief moment before he hugs her back and greets her for the first time in ten years.

You hang back awkwardly watching the love of your life embrace someone else. Every hurtful thought you’ve ever heard about not deserving to be at Ezra’s side plays over and over again in your mind. Worse still, you are forced to see how good Sabine looks with Ezra. They click together like puzzle pieces and look perfect. Two halves of the same whole.

A coldness seeps into your very bones. You suppress the tears forming and grit your teeth painfully. If anything, Sabine deserves this moment. She’s the one who found Ezra. You don’t deserve him.

Despite the way it almost kills you to see Sabine steal your moment, you hang back. The ugly insecurities in you taunt and laugh as you watch them. You can’t escape the feeling that you’re an outsider looking in and intruding in a moment that you don’t deserve.

It feels like an eternity when the two of them finally separate. Sabine is smiling wide oblivious to your pain. Slowly, Ezra moves away from her and moves towards you instead. You force yourself to shove aside the familiar jealousy deciding that seeing Ezra again after a decade is worth more than the agony in your chest.

You meet Ezra halfway as he runs. Your own arms wrap around his frame and he all but picks you up to hold you close. He breathes out your name and you’re struck by how different he is.

Your hands shake as you press your palms to his face. He has a beard now, his cheeks are thin, no doubt from the lack of food, and there’s a certain maturity in his eyes that wasn’t there before-

But he’s Ezra.

Tears spill before you can stop them. His fingers wipe them away gently and his smile is bright. He says your name again like a sacred prayer.

“You’re alive,” you whisper. It’s the only sentence that you can form past the haze. Everything feels so surreal.

Ezra stands in front of you. The love of your life. The boy that had won you over ten years ago and never once let you go-

The one a part of you isn’t sure you deserve.

Ezra presses his forehead against yours. A familiar little habit he had back from when you were kids. A way to soothe you and reassure you that everything is going to be okay-

A sob breaks past your lips at the familiar action and you busy yourself burying your head in his chest. He holds you tighter to him. Underneath your palms, his heart races.

For a moment, every insecurity stops. The cold words you tell yourself over and over again in your head quiet for just this one moment. A sense of peace fills you and everything makes sense. For just a moment, all of the pain of the last decade goes away.

Ezra moves his head forward like he’s going to kiss you. He seems hesitant, unsure if he still has the right after a decade, and you want to meet him halfway-

But then Sabine interrupts the moment. She’s being herded by a Noti away and another one chirps out a different language to Ezra. You suddenly remember where you are you and draw back too fast. It feels maddening to separate from him after losing him for so long, but you think it’s better this way. It’s not like you deserve to kiss him after everything you’ve done.

The loss of him hurts like an open wound. You miss holding him. After ten years, you had given up hope of ever having that chance. It feels so cruel to lose it now-

And of course Sabine had to ruin this moment too. She’s always ruined everything for you. Perhaps she’s finally realized her feelings for Ezra and how better she is for him than you.

Your blood feels cold as you watch her grab his arm. She links their arms together and begins speaking. He gives you one last look over his shoulder before a Noti grabs your own arm to tug you forward. You are forced to trail after them feeling like a third wheel among their partnership. Something you’ve tended to always feel when the three of you are together.

They form a good team. It looks entirely natural for the two of them to be together. Sabine just makes sense at his side. She’s saved him after you’d given up, always been beside him throughout your time together as members of the Ghost, and was the first person he was ever interested in. It makes perfect sense for her to be the one with him.

A painful lump forms in your throat and you wave away the Noti’s concern when it curiously looks up at you. You trail silently through the village as Ezra begins to explain everything.

He tells you and Sabine pieces of his time here. He tells you how he and Thrawn made it here, how he ran from Thrawn and found the Noti by chance, and how he’s spent time with them since. They’re a peaceful people and have welcomed him into their ranks. He accompanies them on their travels, but he’s ready to come home.

He smiles at you both as he thanks you for coming back for him. He can’t wait to return to your galaxy and see Hera, Zeb, and Chopper.

Guilt grips you tightly. You don’t have the courage to admit that you had thought him lost. Had it not been for Sabine, he would have remained on this forsaken planet forever.

A coward to the end, you bite your tongue and hesitate at his words. When Ezra tries to move towards you, hand shyly reaching for your own, you move away as if his touch burns. You don’t think you deserve his gratefulness. Not with how awful you’ve been all these years.

It’s almost a relief when Sabine takes over. As much as it pains you to see her slowly replace you, you know you deserve it.

Before Ezra can ask you what’s wrong, you turn away and pretend to be busy with a Noti who is patching up something to the far side of the village. You turn your back on Sabine and Ezra and remain rigid as they walk away. Ezra keeps glancing back at you from time to time while Sabine urges him along to discuss things with him.

By the time they’re finally gone, you wander off further from the village and then promptly bury your head in your hands. The last of your strength leaves you and you sink to the ground below. The pain you’ve been suppressing returns in waves and you give in to the horrible voices that tell you what a terrible person you are and how you don’t deserve Ezra.

———————————————

By the time the sun sets, you’re a ticking time bomb. You’ve spent a long time wallowing in self pity. Everything aches as you make the trek back to the village.

The Noti are tiny, so it’s not hard to spot Sabine and Ezra. Ezra is holding something by the fire while Sabine messes with her vambrace. She seemingly hasn’t told Ezra about how the two of you are stuck here and how Ahsoka is dead.

When you get back, both of their attention is turned towards you. Ezra lights up and waves you over. He means to let you sit with them, but you quickly note that there’s no room. The Noti are half your size and don’t use large spaces. The log Ezra and Sabine sit at is out of room. You have no place beside Ezra with Sabine there.

Suppressing a grimace, you elect to remain standing.

“What are you two up to?” You ask. Your voice sounds colder than you intended, bitter.

Ezra looks at you and you evade his gaze. There’s something deep in his eyes that you don’t want to dwell too long on. He looks like he doesn’t quite know what to make of you. You have a feeling you aren’t who he remembers.

Good.

Maybe if he no longer recognizes you, he can give you a clean break. It’s become very apparent that you no longer belong at his side. Perhaps if he realizes he made a mistake in choosing you once upon a time, he can find someone better. The sooner he moves on the sooner you can kill what’s left of your broken heart.

Sabine is the one who answers. You’re quite frankly sick of her by then.

“I was telling Ezra everything’s that’s happened since he’s been gone. The Empire, Lothal, everything,” she responds.

Ezra awkwardly nods at her words. You feel a pit form in your stomach. Idly you wonder if Sabine has told Ezra how terrible you’ve been. Wonder if he knows you had given up on the hope of ever seeing him and tried to move on. Is that why he can’t seem to look at you anymore?

Anger and pain throb in your chest. You squeeze your jaw together.

The rest of the night passes far too quickly. Ezra and Sabine chat until the embers of the fire die down. You respond only when necessary and keep your remarks short.

Every once in a while, you think you see Ezra stealing glances at you but you ignore him. It feels like you’re having a terrible out of body experience. You’re so close to him, finally after mourning him for a decade, yet you know you have no right to rejoice at finding him. The guilt and jealousy you feel outweigh everything else.

It’s a mercy when the Noti begin to prepare to sleep. They offer the perfect excuse for the night to finally come to a close.

Ezra stands up and runs a hand through his hair.

“I sleep in the big room over there. It’s as human sized as you can get here. You both look exhausted. The journey here couldn’t have been easy. Why don’t you both take it? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept outside with the Noti,” Ezra offers.

“We can’t take your place-“

“I insist,” Ezra interrupts Sabine, “I’m used to camping out. The Noti constantly move from place to place seeking shelter so sometimes we have to rough it on the ground. It’s nothing unusual. You both can take it.”

Sabine glances at you with a nod of her head.

“Is that alright with you? You wanna share that tent with

me?” She asks.

Both Ezra and Sabine seem to be very interested in your answer. Ezra searches your face for something. You think there’s a question he’s longing to ask, something he’s dying to know, but he can’t bring himself to say it. It seems like he’s too afraid of whatever he thinks he’ll find or won’t find.

Truthfully, you don’t have the patience to speculate on what the two of them are trying to find out. It’s been a long day and you’ve suffered enough already.

You shrug, “Fine.”

A one word response. Sabine blinks and Ezra winces. There’s almost a flash of pain in his gaze before he looks away. You highly suspect that whatever test has just transpired, you’ve failed.

Sabine shares a glance with Ezra. You try to ignore the way the knife in your heart twists to see them communicate silently. Years apart and yet they seem to still know each other well enough to talk through simple glances and looks.

It’s all too much. You spin on your heel and march off mumbling some excuse about being exhausted.

Inside the metal tent, you close your eyes and count to ten. There’s a roar in your ears and a headache forming at the very back of your skull. You aren’t sure how much more this you can take. Already, it feels like you’re hitting a boiling point.

Everything feels terrible. The jealousy, the heartbreak, the anger, the guilt. All of it is becoming too much.

By the time Sabine returns, you’re at your limit. You don’t even flinch when she waves a hand in front of your face to test if you’re paying attention.

“What’s wrong?” She sounds concerned as she peers down at you, “You’ve been out of it all day. I thought you’d be really happy. I mean, we found Ezra-“

A scoff breaks out before you can stop it. You hate that she’s using the word “we.”There is no “we” here. It’s all her. It’s always been her. She’s the hero who saved Ezra. You’re the terrible ex girlfriend that abandoned him.

“I’m just tired,” you shrug. It’s a weak lie. She doesn’t seem to buy it as she presses you more.

“You’re not acting okay. I didn’t think you’d want to share a room with me. I thought you’d make an excuse to get out of it.”

Your eyes roll. She stops and stares at you as if finally realizing just how angry you are.

By now, the pain is cooling to anger. There’s a rage vibrating deep within you towards her. You’d love nothing more than to shut her up once and for all.

She calls your name with a frown. Concern and frustration are evident in her face.

“Seriously, is everything okay? Ezra wanted you to stay with him outside. He was waiting for you to ask to stay with him-“

“Well, didn’t you want to stay with him? You should have volunteered,” you tug angrily at your jacket. The fury is burning you from the inside. You feel like a star about to combust. It takes all of your strength to remain composed.

Sabine has the gall to look confused. She makes a face like she doesn’t get it. You aren’t sure whether she’s being coy or if she’s just dying to hear you spell it out to her.

“What are you talking about?” She moves to grab your arm. Perhaps she wants you to face her and explain why you’re suddenly so angry, “You hurt him, you know. He doesn’t know where he stands with you. You haven’t spoken to him or made a move. He’s scared you’ve moved on-“

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll comfort him. You’ve been much better for him than me,” you bite.

Again, there’s a moment of confusion. By now, Sabine herself is growing frustrated with your attitude. It seems she can’t wrap her head around why you’re so upset.

“What is wrong with you? Seriously. You finally get Ezra back and you just ice him out-“

Something snaps. The anger you’ve been suppressing spills forward like a dam. Before you can even think about what you’re doing, you’re shoving her as hard as you can away from you. There’s a sense of satisfaction in the way you take her by surprise. She’s much stronger than you, yet you manage to make her slam into the metal walls. Her armor makes a satisfying thud when it collides against them.

“Oh, shut up, Sabine!”

You move to shove her again, rage boiling over.

It’s all too much. Every negative emotion you’ve been feeling since Sabine unlocked the map where you failed has spilled over. You feel like a bomb exploding. You aren’t a violent person, yet you find yourself pushing her again.

This time, she’s ready for you. Her eyes are wide and there’s shock in her voice when she calls your name. She grabs your wrist and twists you around until she’s holding your arms in place. A move you had only ever seen her do on stormtroopers.

“Maker, what’s wrong-?”

Her voice trails off in shock as you shove off her hold. You press your hands to your face feeling adrenaline course through your veins. It burns white hot against your skin. You swear you feel your blood boiling.

“Do you know how sick I am of you?” You jab a finger at the center of her chest plate, “You just have to rub everything in. I get it, alright? I get that you’re better than me. You have always been better at everything. I never stood a chance.”

You back away from her suddenly feeling like you’re boxed in. The anger is coursing red hot but there’s something else there. It’s all consuming and harsh. You feel it practically strangling you.

While you are threatened by Sabine’s presence, some part of you knows it’s not just her that’s causing this outburst. Really, it’s more than that. A part of you is just angry with yourself.

It’s yourself you despise. Had it not been for Sabine, Ezra would have been stuck here forever. You had given up on ever finding him. For all your promises of loving him years ago, you had simply given up. He would have never have given up on you.

Spinning around, you press your fists against your eyelids to try and stop the tears forming behind your eyes.

“You found him. I gave up on him,” you whisper. It’s a harsh admission out loud, “You’re better than me. He deserves better. He deserves you.”

Sabine is stunned. She blinks and makes a face like she can’t believe what you just said. You don’t have it in you to explain. The anger is slowly becoming despair. You want nothing more than to just curl up into a ball and die.

“What? I-Do you-Is that what this is about? You think I have feelings for Ezra?” She takes you by the shoulders and holds you steady.

You’re shaking, you realize. Your hands are quivering and your breath is coming out in short pants. A panic attack.

“Don’t you?” You bite the inside of your cheek to quell the rising panic. Your chest feels too tight. It constricts against your clothing, “It’s okay if you do. He’s always liked you. You could make him happier. You didn’t give up on him like I did.”

It hurts to say everything out loud. You don’t think you could survive seeing Sabine with Ezra. It would break whatever remnants of your heart are still working, but you wouldn’t stand in their way. Ezra deserves to be happy and you’re not the person that can give that to him. If Sabine can, then she should. It would break you, but you deserve it. An atonement for your sins.

Sabine calls out your name. She pulls your arms away from your face and shakes her head firmly. She looks stunned and hurt. She’s hurt by your words.

“I don’t like Ezra romantically. He’s a brother to me. That’s it. He loves you-“

You close your eyes against the rising panic. It takes all your willpower to remember how to breathe. It feels like something has gotten a hold of your body. You feel everything mounting until it bursts. Emotions and words pour out of you. You aren’t sure just what you’re saying. Everything feels like it’s happening far away.

“He had a crush on you first. He didn’t even look at me until he realized you weren’t interested. I always knew I was his second choice. I was always so angry with you. You two spent so much time together. I was always just counting the days until he left me for you. You two just fit together. Ten years later and you two can just go back to being close. I don’t know how I could ever face him knowing that I gave up-“

The feeling of choking returns. You press your hand to your chest feeling like your lungs will give out. There’s a painful squeeze to your heart. Is this what a heart attack feels like-?

Suddenly someone is taking you gently by the shoulders. Familiar hands press against your face cradling you softly. You hear your name whispered in a low voice. You know who it is without even opening your eyes.

Ezra.

“Hey, breathe. Breathe with me,” he whispers. He shows you some deep breaths. His arms hold you in place firmly but not tightly. It’s his way of showing you that he’s here. That you’re not alone.

Slowly you try and copy his breaths. It’s a struggle to do it. It feels like every painful gasp of air you inhale rattles against your lungs. It takes much longer than it should to finally regulate your breathing.

By the time the panic attack is finally underway, you feel exhausted. There’s a heaviness to your body you haven’t felt in a while. You’re shaking as Ezra slowly moves you towards a makeshift bed. He eases you gently into a sitting position. Idly, you realize that Sabine is inching out of the encampment probably wanting to give you and Ezra space to talk.

“Are you okay? Do you need water? A blanket?” Ezra kneels to be eye level with you. His eyes are concerned, scared for you.

It’s not fair. He’s the one who’s been lost for ten years, yet here he is worried about you. You don’t deserve him.

That’s what finally does you in. You begin to sob and press your hands firmly to your face. The tears pour out of you. It’s been a long ten years. Everything just shatters.

In the last decade, you’ve cried more times than you want to admit. Grief has been a friend for ages. You’ve cried until you had nothing more to give, yet this breakdown feels different. There’s a war or emotions pouring out of you. Anger, grief, jealousy, insecurity, pain. They rush over you in waves to the point where you feel like you’re being physically crushed under the weight of them.

Ezra wraps his arms around you and lets you cry against his shoulder. He holds you firmly in place whispering words of encouragement. You don’t deserve it. You weakly fight against his hold.

Words spill forth in a whisper before you even realize half of what you’re saying. There’s just a frantic need to pour everything out. The admissions slip from your tongue without truly registering in your brain. You just need him to understand why he should hate you.

“I gave up on ever finding you. I spent an entire year unable to get out of bed. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t think. Every little thing reminded me of you. I thought I was going to go insane. Everyone was worried about me. Hera had just had Jacen, yet she was taking care of me instead of her newborn. It felt horrible to worry everyone. At some point, I just had to let you go. I told myself you were dead and mourned you. I needed the closure so I gave up. If you were gone forever, then I could slowly move forward. I didn’t want to but it was breaking me. Thinking that you were out here somewhere was driving me insane.”

Ezra holds you tighter at your admission. You’re not sure but you swear you think you can hear him say he’s sorry. It’s heartbreaking for him to apologize. He’s the one that you’ve wronged.

“I couldn’t move on from you. I tried dating again a few years after you were gone but never made it past the first or second date. Everyone was all wrong. They just weren’t you. I kept telling myself that you were gone and that I should move on, but I couldn’t. I was driving myself crazy with grief. I even had a falling out with Sabine. Sabine kept searching for you. She never stopped. She’s the one who found you. Had it not been for her, you would have been lost forever. She’s better than me. You deserve better,” you force yourself to look at his eyes and are shocked when you see that he’s crying too. You never meant to hurt him but the confessions keep pouring out, “I know you liked her first. You only started dating me because she didn’t like you back. I told myself all these years that, that was okay. I loved you enough to be your second choice. Then these last ten years happened and they made me realize that I don’t deserve you. I gave up on you. She didn’t. She-you both make perfect sense. You just click with each other. She’s a better choice for you. I love you, but I know you’d be happier with her. She was your first choice after all.”

Now that everything is out, you feel tired. You bury your face in his shoulder and feel the way his heart is racing. His body feels tense as he lets all your words sink in.

“What? Do you think I like Sabine?” He sounds stunned. Gently, he pulls you away so that he can look at your eyes.

His eyes are red and there’s tears running down his face. He looks heartbroken. He calls your name softly and his voice cracks.

“You’re not my second choice, Maker. I’ve loved you for over a decade. It’s always been you. I admired Sabine when we were kids, but I always saw her as a sister. That’s all she is. You’re the one I’ve loved all these years. I dreamt of you every night, I tried using the force to find you whenever I meditated, the thought of you has kept me going all these years. It’s you that kept me alive. Any time I wanted to give up, I remembered you and everyone else back home and that kept me going. You were never my second choice. You’ve always been my only love. Always,” his fingers wipe away your tears and his breath stutters, “I thought you’d moved on. You didn’t want to spend time around me. You pulled away when I tried to kiss you. I thought you didn’t care me for me anymore. I was going to accept that. It’s been ten years. You didn’t know I was still alive. If you had moved on and married someone else, I would have never held it against you. Don’t blame yourself for needing to move forward.”

“You wouldn’t have given up on me. Ezra, you would have been lost without Sabine. I thought you were gone.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. Ezra would have never given up hope. He would have kept searching until the very end. You didn’t.

His hold on you tightens.

“Ten years. I was gone for ten years. I don’t blame you for thinking I was dead. Maker, the ship had lost its airlock. I thought I was going to die when we hit hyperspace. You had no way of knowing I was alive. Sabine said you all only thought I was still alive when Ahsoka heard rumors about Thrawn returning. There’s no way anyone could have predicted I was in another galaxy,” he says.

You keep your eyes closed.

The rumors about Thrawn’s return are what had made this entire search possible. You had dropped everything when Hera and Ahsoka had commed you and rushed back to help the search. Sabine was steps ahead of you which hurts to admit, but you had rushed back to help.

Wearily, you think of everything you’ve done so far.

You think of how Ahsoka refused to train you in favor of Sabine because she said you were ‘too attached’ to be open to the force. You think of how you couldn’t open the map and had spent hours turning it every which way until your fingers had cramped and bled trying to pry it open. You remember that terrible moment where Shin and Baylan had you cornered, how they had offered you and Sabine passage to Ezra in exchange for the map. Logic would have had you destroy the map and prevent Thrawn from ever returning. Ahsoka would have wanted it that way, yet you had hesitated too. Your brain had said you needed to destroy it, but your heart had frozen. Destroying it meant never finding Ezra. You had let Sabine take over on that choice and hadn’t protested when she handed the map over. You’re sure now you would have made the same choice albeit not as fast as her.

As if sensing where your thoughts are going, Ezra places his forehead to yours. His way for reassuring you.

“I don’t blame you for anything. I’m sorry I hurt you all these years. If you’ve moved on, I get it. Just please don’t feel guilty you had to think I was dead to survive. Forgive yourself,” he urges.

You snap your eyes open startled.

“Ezra, I’ve never moved on. I love you. I have for all these years. I was just too guilty to express it. Sabine found you. I gave up. You deserve better. The two of you could-“

Suddenly Ezra dives forward. His lips press to yours and he holds you in place tightly. You make a sound of surprise before giving in.

It feels like something between you clicks. The world stops and everything feels so natural as you kiss him back. It’s been ten years since you’ve last been able to hold him. You don’t think you can survive another ten without him. You barely made it through these last few years.

He feels like home. After all the suffering and the self loathing, kissing him feels like everything is falling into place.

After a long kiss that takes your breath away, he withdraws. His breath is a harsh pant. His beard tickles your face as he presses smaller kisses to your forehead and cheeks. You cling to him tighter and take in the feeling of being in his arms again.

“I love you,” he breathes out, “It’s only ever been you. Please don’t say you don’t deserve me. You kept me alive all these years. It’s always been you.”

The last of your energy snaps. You feel so painfully exhausted. You cling to him tightly and let him move you back to the bed. He climbs in next to you and holds you to him as if he’s afraid to let you go.

Everything you’ve been through today makes you feel so tired. You want nothing more than to go to sleep and come back to this tomorrow. You don’t have the energy to keep going today.

Thankfully, Ezra doesn’t withdraw. Instead, he climbs into the bed next to you and holds you close. All of those terrible voices in your head quiet when he presses another kiss to your forehead.

You close your eyes feeling everything fading. The two of you aren’t done discussing this. He still needs to know that you love him too and that you are sorry for everything that’s happened. You also will have to apologize to Sabine tomorrow. It’s not her fault your own insecurities turned against her.

Still, for now, this moment feels like peace.

You curl into his arms and hold him tight the way you used to when you were young. He holds you to him and refuses to let you go. In a low whisper, you tell him you love him. As you drift off, you hear him say it back.

And for the first time in ten years, you finally feel a semblance of peace.

[universal-rebellion]

It's April in Jorvik - ( sabine x reader ) Chapter 1

hi! I plan to crosspost this fanfic to AO3 as soon as I get my invite :')

( cw: swearing. )

It’s April in Jorvik. 

The snow is off the ground, the grass is green, and the Equestrian Festival is finishing its preparations. 

And as for you, you were truly excited for it, but now you’re stuck running errands for your fellow Soul Riders… again.

You thought last year was ridiculous dealing with Alex and Linda’s last minute tasks, but this year was even worse. Both Anne and Lisa were tagging along this year which has added on to your own preparations for the festival. As much as you’re usually happy to help, you can’t help but curse to yourself this time for being so willingly. Stupid Soul Rider nonsense. All you wanted to do was practice and prepare your horses for the events you were set to participate in. But no, you’re were dealing with setting up another booth for the girls, helping Lisa gather her tack and outfits, and attempting to prevent Concorde from spooking at everything. Thankfully, everything other than Concorde has been dealt with, but now you’re losing light and you’re walking your horse next to Anne while she hand walks Concorde. 

This reincarnation of Concorde is, respectfully, a major pain in the ass. She still isn’t able to talk just yet, even after being aged by Vala, so it makes every situation worse because she can’t even tell you what her problem is. You were riding your starbreed, who is just about as fed up as you with everything. Unfortunately, for your horse, he was the best option for putting up with Concorde’s bullshit. The gelding pinned his ears at every out of line movement by Concorde. If she got too close he nipped at her, putting her back in line. By this point, you’ve figured out that she hates the balloons, so you were doing slow laps around the arena to get her accustomed to them. 

After your tenth lap Concorde finally calmed down enough to walk without trying to break free from Anne’s grasp. 

“ Anne, it's like 8pm. I think she’s about as desensitized to everything as she’s gonna get .” You give a gentle tug on your horse's reins and his ears pricked back up as he stopped. Anne looked at you and looked back to her horse, defeated. You hop off your gelding and give his neck a good pat. 

“ She’s as good as she’s going to get. ” Anne reiterates your sentiment with a sigh. 

“ Can we please get back to the stables? Between everything I’ve done today, I haven’t had time to see my other horses that I might be riding tomorrow. ” 

Anne nods. “ I have to deal with cleaning up Concorde anyways. She isn’t anywhere where she needs to be if she’s possibly going to be performing tomorrow. ” The grey mare pinned her ears back at her and snorted in annoyance at the notion she isn’t up to par. Does it make sense to clean a grey horse the night before a competition..? Who knows, but you aren’t gonna rain on her parade. However, Concorde’s a priss so maybe she’d stay clean. The two of you start your walk back over to the stables and trailers. You don’t bother to grab your starbreed’s reins, he follows you along like a dog. Besides, you’re too focused on making sure Concorde doesn’t try to pull a fast one on the two of you.

“ Where are you stalling her? Are you bringing her back to your home stable or are you staying here for the night? ” 

“ I could not imagine leaving her here. ” Anne practically scoffed at you. “ We are going back home. I won’t lie, I truly don’t know how I’d fit all of my outfits and whatnot into a suitcase. Also, where on earth would I get ready? ” 

“ I’m staying at the inn? A lot of the people who are competing are staying at the inn? ” You give her a look. Anne returned the look and rolled her eyes. 

“ Yeah, not happening. I’ll just deal with waking up earlier tomorrow. “ You shrug at her and the two of you finish your walk to the stable and part ways. Your horse audibly breathed a sigh of relief when Concorde was out of sight. You chuckled at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“ Yeah, I know. That was awful. But, hey, you were great, boy. ” You gave him a rub on the forehead. “ Let’s get that tack off of you, you deserve some rest. ” You led him to his stall and untacked him, leaving his tack on the stand next to his stall door. 

As you walked out the stall he tried to follow behind, but was stopped by you closing his door. He bobbed his head and snorted at you in protest. 

“ I didn’t forget bud, I promise. ” You rummage through the bag you brought and grab your bucket of Stud Muffins. The starbreed eagerly, but politely, snatched the treat from your hand, satisfied. 

You turn to the next couple of stalls and see the two other horses you brought with you. You were set to compete in a few categories in the following days and decided to use some of your other horses to give them some time away from the stables.

Your starbreed was going to be your horse for the cross country section. That honestly should be a given from the amount of nonsense the two of you have gotten yourself into throughout all of Jorvik.

 You brought an 11 year-old Belgian Warmblood gelding for show jumping. Thunder is black with a small snip on his nose and he towers over you at a good 16.9 hands. He’s been with you for a while now and has proved to be a fantastic performer.  

Finally, you brought your new 6 year-old Andalusian mare for dressage. Daybreak is a gorgeous dapple grey mare, you are still in awe that you managed to snag her. In all honesty, you aren’t too serious about the dressage portion, but you thought it’d be a good experience just to test out your new mare in the ring. However, you know that she’d be fantastic no matter the rider. 

You give the two of them their own Stud Muffins and give them both a scratch for good measure. 

You were in your own world when suddenly two tall shadows nearly made you jump out of your skin. At the entrance of the stable a tall woman walks in leading a large black Fresian through the door. It doesn’t take you long to realize who it was.

Sabine. 

Of course. Why wouldn’t she be here? She was the last two years. You briefly recall the events that transpired between the two of you last April and the one before. 

You stay silent and try to finish up your chores for the night, grabbing a bucket for your horses’ grain. Khaan's steps thundering through the otherwise silent barn.

Annnnnnd of course she has Khaan stalled right next to your overly friendly gelding, Thunder. You mentally groan and try to not let your embarrassment show. The black gelding immediately tries to make friends with Khaan through the bars separating their stalls. The larger stallion pins his ears back at the attention, but doesn’t truly react until Sabine exits the stall. The moment she closes the stall door, the Fresian emits the lowest squeal you’ve ever heard from a horse and he kicks at the wall separating them. Thunder backs off and goes to seek attention from Sabine. She ignores his attempts and flings Khaan’s lead rope over her shoulder.

Sabine glares in your direction before turning to a bag sat next to Khaan’s stall door, pulling out a hoof pick and returning inside Khaan’s stall. Hm, bold after your horse just raised hell.

“ Wouldn’t have taken you as a person with more than one horse. ” She commented as she began to work on Khaan’s hooves, not bothering to make eye contact with you. “ Thought a Soul Rider would be too loyal to even think about it. ” 

You try and fail miserably to stop yourself from chuckling which earns you another glare and scowl in your direction when she puts Khaan’s hoof down. 

“ And I wouldn’t take the Dark Rider as one that would stall their horse in a public stable. ” You shoot back at her sarcastically, but lightheartedly. “ But I guess, no one else really knows that you’re a Dark Rider here. So, what difference does it make? ”  You say as you dump grain into Thunder’s feed bucket, which makes him entirely forget about Sabine and Khaan. 

“ You should see my home stable. It’d make your head spin if you think me having two other horses is more than you expected. ” You make your way back to your bag of grain, making Daybreak’s dinner. Sabine gave an audible huff as she finished up her work on her horse’s feet. She exited the stall again and threw the pick down in her bag. 

“ I don’t think it’s really any of your business why I have Khaan stalled here. Why don’t you just focus on your horses and I’ll deal with mine.” Ah there you go, that’s the Sabine you remember.

“Hey, you spoke first.” You dump the grain into your mare’s bucket. The two of you go to your work in awkward silence. You weren’t really sure why you were comfortable being alone with her, or moreso, why you didn't feel threatened by her presence. However, your starbreed wasn’t too happy about her being so close to you. You could feel him grow uneasy as you heard him pace and paw at the ground. Maybe you were too tired to really acknowledge the amount of danger you could be in? However, she didn’t seem too intimidating right now. If anything, she was a bit underwhelming for what you’d expect. 

You finish up your tasks with your horses and hang your feed bucket up. Looking over to Sabine you see that she’s fiddling with something in her bag. 

“ If you get bored again, I’m always up for a chase around Jarlaheim between competitions. ” You said picking up your bag. “ I could always use the warmup for my horses. ” Sabine stops what she was doing and cocks an eyebrow at you.

“ And willingly give you what you'd consider an advantage? That’s the stupidest shit I think I ever heard you say Soul Rider. ” She practically chuckles at you, dumbfounded by your words. 

“ Thought you’d enjoy the chance to kick my ass and leave me in the dirt. You know, like the last two years. ” You shrugged. “ Whatever. If you change your mind I’ll be around. ” You walk off and make your way back to the inn to call it a night, not waiting for her response.

That was fucking stupid.

[jessicas-pi]

So the Ahsoka show (and a dream I had last night) gave me an idea. Imagine: AU where in Chapter 11 of The Mandalorian, Bo-Katan tells Din to go to Ahsoka... but also says that if Ahsoka won't help, then he should try finding her apprentice, Sabine Wren, on Lothal.

So after Ahsoka refuses to train Grogu, Din goes to Lothal before he tries Tython, which is therefore where everything with the Darktroopers goes down, which means that (a) Sabine is able to give Hera a heads up that the Empire is Doing Something, and (b) Sabine ends up inadvertently roped into the events of the rest of Mando S2. The Grogu rescue mission sort of helps her feel better---at least to feel like she's doing something. Din, meanwhile, sees someone just like him, who needs to keep busy to keep her mind off her trauma, so he decides to call her up for a little "help" whenever he feasibly can claim he needs it, or for some Jedi Training™ with Grogu (who didn't go with Luke, due to no trip to Tython and no seeing stone), or whatever excuse he can make up, which ends with Sabine getting pulled into BoBF and Mando S3, too.

Highlights include:

Din & Sabine: *win the fight with Moff Gideon together* Sabine: *takes the Darksaber from him, just to disarm him* Sabine: WAIT ACTUALLY NOPE NEVER MIND *throws the Darksaber as far as she can & refuses to pick it up again*

Sabine: You want ME to teach your kid? Din: Yes. Sabine: You do realize that I can't use the Force? Din: Yes. Sabine: And that my master stopped training me because I wasn't good enough? Din: Yes. Sabine: And that I have absolutely nothing to teach him? Din: Yes. Sabine: ...nothing I say is going to deter you, is it? Din: No.

Sabine: I just... feel... lost. Boba: Well, you could always work for me on Tatooine. Fennec: Have you ever considered an assassin business partnership? Bo-Katan: It's gonna take me a loooooooong time for me to get over you winning the Darksaber again, but you are my best friend's daughter, so if you choose to, you may come with me. Greef Karga: The Nevarro school could use an art teacher, you know. The Armorer: You are always welcome to take the Creed and join our covert. Din: How do you feel about being adopted? [later] Ahsoka, to Hera: Should we be concerned about the number of questionable figures trying to take in Sabine? Hera, having Maul flashbacks: Trust me. It could be a lot worse.

Sabine: You need to go to the Living Waters? Yeah I know where that is, I can take you. Din: That's a relief. Otherwise I was going to go ask Bo-Katan about them. Sabine: Oh? Let's ask her anyway. I'm totally down to bother Bo-Katan. Any time, any day. Kalevala HERE WE COME-

Din: While I appreciate your modifications to IG-12, Sabine, I'm not so sure about the words you've added. Grogu, delightedly smacking his new button: KRIFF. KRIFF. KRIFF. KRIFF. KRIFF.

Din: You had me at 'battle droids.' Sabine, giggling: yOu HaD mE aT 'BaTtLe DrOiDs'

Sabine, watching Din make his 'your song is not yet written' speech: This is sooo much better than the holodramas. Axe Wolves, side-eyeing her: You don't get out much, do you? Sabine: Nope. Want some popcorn?

.....ANYWAY, my point is, Sabine gets dragged into All The Mandoverse Shenanigans. Which is pretty funny on its own, right? But it gets better.

Because it just so happens that Din is on Lothal with Grogu when Ahsoka shows up with the map. and he kinda just....gets pulled along for the ride. So then HE'S in the AHSOKA show, mostly just trying to make sure Sabine doesn't do anything crazy, following her when she does it anyway, and being confused about Everything. Which lends itself to additional hilarity--

Din: Nightsisters? I heard they were witches. Ahsoka: They are. Din, internally: Oh my manda, I finally KNEW something!

Din: The evil Jedi are chasing us! Sabine: They're not Jedi! Din: They're not? But they have laser swords like you! Ahsoka: There's still a difference! Din: What difference? Ahsoka: Jedi use the Light side! These are Dark side users! Din: There are different sides of your sorcery??

[Sabine and Ezra reunite] Din: I'm so glad you finally found your husband, Sabine. Sabine: Ezra: Din: The crabs: *start gossiping* Sabine: He's... he's not my... husband... Din, confused: But you've clearly been living the Mandalorian marriage vows? One when together, one when apart, sharing all... Sabine: Yeah, no, that's- that's just coincidence. Din: Hold on. You live in his house, and you keep all his things, and you refuse to leave Lothal for more than a week or two at a time because it makes you miss him too much- Sabine: *makes stop talking gesture* Din: -and you gaze lovingly at the enormous mural you've painted of him, and you left everything behind the second you knew you had a chance to save him, and as far as I can tell, you've been utterly devoted to him since the moment he disappeared ten years ago- Sabine: *stop talking gestures intensify* Ezra: Wait, Sabine, is this true? Din: -and you're telling me you two aren't married? Sabine:

[bobbin-buckley]

The Girl You Once Knew

Summary: You find the girl you once knew after years of forgetting

FEM-READER X SHIN HATI

Requested

Warnings: Slight cursing, mentions of s*uicide, Star Wars violence, slight smut, some praising, knee riding (R receiving)

Y/ls/c: Your lightsaber color

Y/h/c: Your hair color

Y/s/c: Your skin color

~~~~~~~~~

You don’t know how long it has been since you’ve seen her, nor do you know where she’s been.

Sabine had been attacked and you weren’t there to see it and help, you were hanging out with Hera and her son Jacen.

Ahsoka had contacted you to hurry to Lothal ASAP since Sabine was in a troubled state. You waisted no time to hurry into your ship and fly to Lothal. You and Sabine were very close best friends, you were never apart of the rebels because you were always with Ahsoka, since you’re her padawan.

Ahsoka was very ennobled to have you by her side, she found you stranded on Aris. You told her you were kidnapped years ago but was never found and never found a way off the planet. Ahsoka was astounded to see you alive, though we’re you close to starvation. She sensed something in you, the force was strong in you, she nearly recognized it’s power.

Later that day, the day you we’re supposed to be watching Heras son but found yourself in a medical room on Lothal, standing in front of your best friend. Sabine had been struck in the torso by a lightsaber, Huyang had told you.

You asked Ahsoka and Huyang who attacked Sabine, they said the person was a girl with blonde hair and feral eyes, a orange lightsaber was held in hand, she had a brawny stance. You also asked Ahsoka of her eye color, she said she didn’t get a good enough look to tell, since it was dark.

Now, you sat in a chair, face in hands and overthinking if it was really her…

“You’re overthinking again young one,” Huyang spoke up. “Mhm,” you hummed.

“You should get some rest, you’ve just been sitting there staring off into the palm of your hands.” You looked up with a glare.

“Y/n, tell me what’s wrong.” Ahsoka provoked. You sighed, not wanting to tell your master why the bother.

“Y/n.”

“I’m just worried about Sabine is all.”

Ahsoka wasn’t convinced but she didn’t push it. She waited for you to speak first. “Fine, I-I think I know who the person that attacked Sabine.”

“Go on.” Ahsoka nodded.

“The way you described her is different but- I still know it’s her, I sensed her in the force on my way here.” You paused, “her name was Shin, Shin Hati. She was a um…”

A friend? A Best friend? A Home? A Lover…?

She was your only hope when you were younger. Living Surviving on the stranded planet Aris with Shin. You found home and love in her, she was your ‘safe place’ you called her. She called you ‘My light’, you were the light to her dark. It seems cliché but it really had meaning between you two.

After years of surviving together, Shin was taken away from you. Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, Shin left you for power. A man named Baylan came along one evening, he said he sensed something in both you and Shin.

The Force.

You didn’t trust him, he seemed off.

Like there was a dark portal surrounding him, you felt like a black mass was wafting over you. You didn’t feel safe then, you definitely didn’t feel safe when Shin trusted him.

You convinced Shin to stay, to not leave you. But she marked her words.

“If you won’t go, I will.” And with that she left.

“Uhm…a friend, we were very close. We both were stranded on Aris, we built a home in each other. Until a man took her away.” Tears filled up in your eyes, it may have been years but it still damn hurts.

“A man?” Huyang wondered.

“Yeah, he was tall with a bushy beard. He had a hooded cloak covering his shadow. He took her away from me, he took…my Shin.”

Then the tears dropped.

You tensed when Ahsoka put a hand on your shoulder. “We will find her, and we’ll find the map on our journey too.” You relaxed at those words.

“W-what if we don’t find her? Or the map?” “No what if’s, that will slow you down more my padawan.”

Ahsoka was right. The more you overthink It would just bring you down. Ahsoka knew when you’d overthink how you would always give up since that’s how you grew up, doubting yourself.

That’s why you and Sabine got a long, both of you would end up giving up and talk to each other about it.

Ahsoka knew better from you, she knows how you’ll always put up a challenge only to break and forget.

You always think you are a failure to her but all she says is; “There is no such thing as failure”

You can’t help but deny her words.

As you were waiting for Sabine to get ready after she was healed more, all you could think were the possibilities of you encountering Shin. And how you think she’ll hate you for not joining her.

“Shin will be okay Y/n. There’s no need to fear.”Ahsoka spoke wisely, and all you could do was nod.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stumbled upon Shin for the first time in years. Ahsoka, Huyang, Sabine and you found Shin and her master, along with a witch named Morgan Elsbeth.

You’ve heard the name before, Hera had mentioned her. You haven’t been sure of what power witches had, but you’ve been told in stories that the witches held great power.

Ahsoka and Sabine were fighting off some inquisitor while you chased after Shin into the woods of SEATOS, the Denab system.

You rushed pass the blood colored trees, desperate to find the one you loved before.

Your so called ‘home’

“Shin! Wait! Please! I just want to talk!” Shin came to a stop, hearing your voice.

“Y/n?” She turned around, facing you. Fear and confusion in her eyes.

“Yes, yes it’s me! Shin! It’s Y/n your light.” You stepped closer but Shin tensed back.

“You don’t have to run or hide anymore. I’m here, I’m here to take you home.” You reached a hand out, but Shin sneered.

Her lightsaber ignited, the bright orange beaming off her perfect ocean eyes. The eyes that were now filled with fury and dread.

The couldn’t help but cry on the inside.

Is this really Shin? The Shin you’ve been looking for, for years? Is this really what you called home?

All there is was wrath and pain…

Shin always had anger issues, but this was different. Evil was over her body, covering the sweet blonde you knew and loved.

“Shin- y-you don’t have to do this!” “Yes! Yes I do! It’s to keep you safe!”

Shin attacked first, her arms swinging at you. Luckily your body had time to react and you grabbed your two y/ls/c lightsabers. You blocked just before your face was slashed, a loud clash when the three lightsabers made in contact with each other.

You didn’t want to fight her, you definitely didn’t want to harm her in any way. You wanted her to join you, leave Baylan and the dark side.

The fight between you and Shin was tough, she was incredibly powerful to your surprise.

Shin has managed to get you on your knees, as her lightsaber was pointed at you. You felt weak, maybe if she killed you right then and there you wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.

You gave her pleading eyes, Shin knew what you wanted but instead she swung her foot around and it made contact with your head, making you get knocked out right there.

~~~~~~~~~

Your vision was blurry, a raging headache was the only thing you could feel other than the pain on your left cheek.

You looked up from the metal floor, to seeing a tall blonde in the way of your exit.

You scoffed, “heh, watching me sleep now too eh? Creepy.”

“I wasn’t watching you sleep.”

Oh that voice, that voice made you feel butterflies. That deep tone made you wanna beg for her to just talk.

“Sure.”

Shin looked at you, watching your every movement from the cell door as you stepped up slowly. You noticed you were in a cell, the dark chambered walls. To your assumption you were on her ship.

“What do you want?” You leaned against the wall.

“Answers.”

“Pft, same. But blondie here doesn’t seem to like to answer.”

Shin glared at you.

Even her glaring was sexy-

“How are you alive? Last time I remembered you died of starvation on Aris,” Shin ignored your comment.

You didn’t want to answer her, but you also had questions lots of them.

“Ahsoka found me, she had a mission on Aris and- happened to find me. Under a rock….literally.” You tried for some humor, but Shin didn’t even smile.

How you missed that, that sweet smirk

“Hm.” She hummed. “How long have you been training with Commander Tano?”

She was joking right? She kidnapped you to only ask how you weren’t dead and how your miserable life is going?

“Can’t believe you knocked me out and kidnapped me just to ask me about my training. I thought our fight would give you a hint.” You snarked.

“We’ll it seems you haven’t been training long, despite the fact that I beat you.”

You rolled your eyes.

It was silent for a bit, all you could do was stare into Shin’s eyes, waiting for her to say something like an apology for leaving or an ‘I miss you’. But there was silence until she turned away with a small glance, the patter of her feet against the ground then leaving you in the cold cell.

You sighed, the woman you loved left again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sabine and you had escaped Morgan’s grasp and found Ahsoka again. You had thought she was dead, when Sabine had told you she died.

It scared the shit out of you. But thankfully she was okay.

You guys located Ezra, Sabines long time friend. He lived with the Noti on Peridea.

Sabine was happy to see him again. You didn’t really know who Ezra was, Sabine had only talked about him a few times.

When you found him it wasn’t long after Shin and her troopers found you. Ahsoka was after Morgan so it was up to the three of you to watch Shin and find Baylan.

After a while of fighting Shin, she lost her army and fled like a coward.

You were sure she wasn’t afraid of losing, she was afraid to hurt you.

You could sense the regret in her, it was very tiny but easy for you to sense. You knew if you asked her she would immediately decline and say she hates you, which is completely un-true.

Hours went on and you didn’t see Shin again or Baylan. You and Ahsoka fought Morgan and stormtroopers as Sabine helped Ezra into Thrawns ship before he’d escape.

With Sabines help of the force he made it, but you and Ahsoka were struggling to fight Morgan and we’re close to losing if it weren’t for Sabine.

Ezra understood that Sabine had to leave him for the two of you, the three of you hoped he found a way off Thrawns ship and to fly to Hera and warn the New Republic about Thrawn.

~~~~~~~

Morgan was dead. Ahsoka took one final strike and slayed her. (Lol slayed)

Stranded, you three were. Safe with the Noti you decided to stay with them and help them until help arrived and when Ashoka’s ship was fixed (since it was damaged during the flight to Peridea.)

It was nice living with the Noti, they were interesting creatures and the fact they were one of the only species on the planet besides the Howlers and Bandits.

You haven’t encountered the Bandits in a while thankfully, cause Baylan and Shin used them against you to kill you.

Speaking of Baylan and Shin, you assumed they were left stranded by Thrawn, there was no sight of them at the death of Morgan Elsbeth.

Everyday you couldn’t help but worry about her. Day and Night. During the day there was chores, training, hunting, food then sleep. You stayed up a bit later until the stars came out, waiting on top of a hill for Shin. Anxious for her to come home.

Ahsoka and Sabine had asked you if you were okay, sensing the worry in you.

Every time they’d ask your excuse was ‘worried about home’ or ‘anxious about the bandits’.

Neither of them believed you but didn’t push you to tell them the truth.

However, little did you know an angry lone wolf was wishing for you too.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were out hunting, alone this time. Usually Sabine and you would go together but you wanted to go out on your own, not just to look for food but to find her.

Walking past a small river where fish lived, you sat down in front of the water looking in the reflection of it, seeing yourself. Your (Y/h/c) was ruffled because of training, big eye bags from staying up late overthinking, and the scar on your left cheek from Shin knocking you out.

Tears slipped down from your eyes, vision blurry and sobs that you were trying to block from coming out.

From all of your crying and thinking you didn’t even see another person in the reflection of the water, but you felt a presence.

“Go away Sabine, I don’t want any of your talks. I’m fin-” You looked up, only to find a blue eyed girl with white/blonde hair.

You gasped.

“Shin?” You swiftly got up from your feet. “W-what are you doing here? I thought you were dead!”

You stepped back.

“Shin say something!-”

“I didn’t know what to do, or where to go..” she spoke quietly.

You noticed a bit of blood staining her grey vest, then noticed a cut in her vest that showed the split skin.

“The bandits got to me, I tried to take over them. But- uh…that backfired.”

You stepped forward but she stepped back.

“I’m- im not going to hurt you. Where’s Baylan?”

You noticed tears in her eyes. God did that break you.

“H-he…he left me,” Shin sobbed, “I had no where else to go. He said for me to kill you, Sabine, Ahsoka and Ezra then join Thrawn but- I..I refused….to harm you.”

Refused? That’s a first, you thought she really wanted to kill you after everything. And definitely Sabine.

“Y/n.”

The way she said your name made your heart thump. A blush to your cheeks.

“Here your going to bleed out, let me help you.” You reached for your bag and brought out some bandages and gauze.

You always kept stuff on you just incase.

Motioning for her to sit, you sat next to her asking her to lift up her shirt and vest.

“This may hurt..” “nothing I can’t handle.”

You smiled, but it faded when you dabbed the gauze on the cut and hearing her hiss in pain.

“I’m sorry,” you winced.

It was quiet as you patched her up, making sure that it was clean.

After doing so, you asked her where she was going to go but she didn’t know either.

“You could…stay with us?”

Shin looked at you if you were serious.

She thought you were crazy, thinking that you’d ever want her in your life again after everything.

“You? Want me to stay with you?”

You hummed.

“I-”

“Shin,” you placed a hand on her thigh, she tensed but relaxed after a second. “I want you to stay.”

It took Shin a bit to think but she nodded with a slight smile. You smiled like a dumb idiot in love.

You were in love. In fact, you are in love

~~~~~~~~~

“Sabine just hear me out!”

This wasn’t going very well. You were standing in front of a furious Sabine Wren with her lightsaber out ready to pounce at the blonde behind you. One arm reached out to make sure Sabine doesn’t get any closer, looking back at Shin every so once in awhile to make sure she doesn’t pounce either.

You brought Shin over to convince Sabine and Ahsoka for her to stay, since she had no where else to go.

“No! I won’t hear you out! Do you not realize what she did to us?!” Sabine yelled.

“Look, I know your angry at me for this and you hate her, but we have history I’ve told you this!” You did in fact tell Sabine about your and Shins relationship. She didn’t believe you at first but it kinda made since later.

“So what!”

“So what?! Sabine she has no where else to go! She’ll die if we leave her on her own!”

“So then let her! Let her starve on this shit hole!”

“Sabine.” Ahsoka finally stepped in.

You relaxed a bit but still kept your guard, as well as Shin. Sabine only strained more.

“You must calm your anger. I understand how our friend here has invoked us, but it isn’t right to leave her alone to die,” Ahsoka trotted over to the Mandalorian. “Shin can stay, but if she ever tries to harm us then she has to leave.”

Ahsoka looked over at you and Shin, as you glanced at her and she nodded to you, understanding.

“Good. Sabine, come with me and Y/n,” Ahsoka looked at you again. “Get her to rest.”

~~~~~~~~~

It has been a few days since Shin joined your tribe with the Noti. You think she’s happy to be with you again, well, you know.

Shin has opened up to you more about Baylan, and how he was like a father to her. She cried every time she talked about him, but you were there to hold her and comfort her.

Every day was better now with Shin around. You had more confidence.

You and Shin would sleep in the same tent, wake up and go for a morning walk, chores together (you taught her certain things the Noti taught you), you’d spar with Sabine as she’d spar with Ahsoka (sometimes you guys would spar together), hunt, eat then watch the sunset go down till bed.

You both have gotten close, really close

Shin was always teasing you, like brushing your hip when training, teasing words in your ear when doing chores, winking at you when you’d do something she thinks is hot.

It wasn’t making you mad or annoyed, it made you flushed and having the urge to kiss her right there.

You were eye-fucking each other the entire time every day. You got closer to cuddling in your sleep, and not saying a word about it the next morning.

Sabine had caught on quick about it. You also thought Ahsoka caught on too. Maybe even Huyang! Pretty obvious if being noticed by the wise droid.

Every time Shin would do something Ahsoka would give you a look that made you want to tackle her and frown.

You knew these feelings wouldn’t get unnoticed by your jedi master, Ahsoka always knew things you didn’t or things you’d think she doesn’t know but…knows.

~~~~~~~~

“Are you gonna actually woman up at some point and ask out your girl?”

You almost spat out your soup.

“What!?”

“You know.”

“No, I actually don’t,” you fought.

“Dude,” Sabine sat down on the log next to you, eyeing you then the fire. “You guys are eye-fucking each other every time you take a glance.”

You rolled your eyes, face blushing and hoping the blaze of fire hides it.

“It’s obvious, I bet you the Noti even notice it,”Sabine chuckled.

“Okay, I do really like her to where I think I love her. But I don’t know how to ask her out! I’ve never asked anyone out before! What do I say?” You rambled.

Sabine gave you a look, “just- be yourself, take her on an evening walk or something. Can’t really do any dates.”

“Yeah no shit,” your eyes veered to the ground. “You sure a walk will work?”

“Dude, it will! Trust me, I’m a professional at these things.”

You gave her a look, “mhm..sure cause you are totally a professional.”

Sabine rolled her eyes.

“But thanks..”

“No problem, I just need someone to keep that grimlin to calm down.” You laughed and with that, Sabine said good night and headed off to bed.

You sighed heavily, you know Shin likes you too. You’re just worried if it’s the right time, your gut is telling you to. So that’s what you go with.

Later that evening you were compelling wether or not to wake Shin up and ask her to walk with you. You’d feel bad waking her up, besides you couldn’t sleep thinking about all this.

You finally made the decision of going to wake the blonde. You walked to your shared tent and stepped inside, looking down at the peaceful girl.

She was so cute, her blonde hair a little ruffled, her mouth half open and small snores coming from her.

Kneeling down on your right knee, you gently shook Shin awake with your left hand. “Shin, Shin wake up, I want to ask you something.”

Of course Shin was a deep sleeper.

“Shin!” You whisper yelled.

Eventually you heard a groan from the older girl. “Why?”

You blushed, “I was uh..wondering if you’d take a walk with me? I have something important to talk to you about.” You were surprised you spat all that out.

“Hmp…why not tomorrow?..” Shin sighed.

“It’s really important…”

Shin finally opened her eyes, just a little bit but enough to see her blue glare.

“Fine, just give me a second.”

You nodded and left the tent, waiting for her outside.

Once Shin was ready you both started to walk on a path that led to the river you guys met at.

“Why’d you bring me out here to walk?”

Shin broke the silence

“I was wondering…if uh..”

Shit. What did Sabine tell you to do again?

You question yourself

Shin looked at you with her right brow perked up, as she cocked her head.

“Look Shin. I know it’s been a long time since we’ve been together. But I just want you to kno-”

You didn’t even get to finish cause the next thing you knew lips were on yours.

Soft lips

Her lips were so soft

She kissed harsh. Like she’s been wanting to kiss you for years. (And she has)

You kissed back just the same amount of force. Her hands placed on your hips, pulling you closer. Your arms wrapped around her back, digging your nails into her clothed skin, craving more of her touch.

Shin bit down on your lips, causing them to bleed as she then licked up the red liquid. Teeth clashing as she dug her tongue into your mouth.

You groaned when she gripped your ass, trying to get impossibly closer.

“Lay down for me my light.”

Shin laid you down on the soft grass, kissing you once again as she climbed on top of you.

Her hands now placed on your cheeks, rubbing her thumb rubbing over the scar on your left cheek.

“Shin..” you whimpered as she started to kiss below your chin, gripping the skin with her teeth.

Purple and red marks were decorating your (y/s/c) skin, wet kisses trailed down your neck. You gripped her hair roughly, begging for her to mark you as hers. She implied but biting hard next to your pulse as her younger danced across the reddened skin.

She swimmed back up to capture you in another kiss. “Is this okay?” She asked against your puffy plump lips, you nodded with a sigh as she placed her knee between your thighs.

All you could think of now was her

She was your focus

You focused on her knee, lifting your hips as your clothed clit made contact with her knee making you moan.

“That’s it baby, grind yourself on my knee. Come on darling, make yourself cum on me.” She praised.

You felt so loved by her. Everything she was doing was soft. It made you want to never leave this position.

Shin kissed where your heart was, peppering more until she reached your stomach. Brushing her hand over your breasts causing your back to arch.

“Oh-oh fuck-” you cried. “Sh-Shin…”

“Yes babygirl?”

“I want more…please oh fuck please.”

“Yeah? You want more, what do you want more of?” She teased.

“Yo-your fingers..” you gasped when she pulled her knee away. Only to bring her hand down your pants.

“Mhm..want my fingers eh?”

You nodded, biting your already swollen lips.

Shin rubbed two fingers over your clit, bringing you closer to your orgasm.

“Come on baby, let go, let go for me,” she murmured against your lips.

“Oh shit! Yes! Fuck oh my god!” Shin smirked and eased her fingers inside you.

“Cum for me..”

And with that, your body shook as you clenched around her fingers. Moaning her name over and over until your high came to an end.

“That’s it..”

Shin pulled away and rubbed your thigh while brushing your hair out of your face. She leaned down to kiss you again.

“Let me please you in return baby.” You husked.

Shin blushed but nodded.

You sure were in for one hell of a night. But it’s a night you won’t forget about.

Because you were in the arms of your home.

~~~~~~~~~

The ending was cheesy as hell but I did it!

It kinda seems short but also long at the same time cause I needed to find motivation 😭

I hope it’s good!

Let me know if any other requests I might write something with Tara 🤭

[kazoosandfannypacks]

summary: when ezra overhears sabine reciting a mandalorian custom, ezra regrets all the years he's missed out on. word count: 1K a/n: i came up with this fic during my mando'a studies. my goal is to someday write an entire fic in mando'a, complete with a work skin that'll include a mando'an font. that dream is still many years off though, but until then, here's a fic inspired by a little bit of manda-lore i've learned!   taglist:@laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @kanerallels @piraterefrigerator @jedi-nurse @dootchster @lucasbridger @redroverrider @light-umbra @commander-tech {if you’d like to be added to or removed from my Sabezra taglist, let me know!}

also on ao3!

Here For You Now

 It took Ezra a moment to figure out why he'd fallen asleep on the floor, less than a foot away from his bed. He would've totally assumed that he'd fallen off the bed in his sleep again (it was less than a foot's drop; he'd slept through it before,) but the pile of blankets underneath him told him this was definitely intentional. He couldn't quite piece together why he would've done something like this though— until he heard a murmured whisper coming from the bed, a voice he almost thought he was just imagining again, until he remembered that yesterday was the day he'd spent over a decade waiting for.

 Sabine had found him.

 And, since his trailer offered little in the way of comfort, he'd let Sabine take the bed and offered to sleep on the floor instead. Good hospitality, he'd called it, something he'd learned well from the Noti, and also a way to say "thank you" for coming all this way just to bring him home. (And in actuality, he'd never make his favorite person in this [and any] galaxy sleep on the floor— and also he knew he'd irreversibly stumble over his words if he suggested they try to share the bed.)

 But despite being on the floor and definitely sore from it, it was one of the best wakeups he'd had in years— certainly the one that ushered in the most hope along with it. 

Though he'd never lost faith in Sabine, hope had been in short supply the past year or so— that is, until yesterday, when the Noti had told him that they found a girl ("your girl," their language put it, and he was too ecstatic to disagree) and she'd come to the camp looking for him. He'd never thought she'd looked more beautiful than she did when she saw him, and gave him a smile that conveyed the same genuine joy and total disbelief he was feeling.

 And now he woke up knowing she was here, and it wasn't another stupid dream about her return: she was on Perida, actually with him, quietly chanting something in Mando'a.

 "Ni su'cuyi gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum."

 Ezra wasn't sure what she was mumbling about, but it felt almost like some kind of meditation, or a prayer. His interest was piqued when he heard the next two words, and he looked up to see her sitting cross legged with her eyes closed.

 "Kanan Jarrus. Ursa Wren. Alrich Wren. Tristan Wren. Ahsoka Tano. Ni su'cuyi gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum."

 Sabine sighed, and there was a moment of silence.

 "What's that?" Ezra asked, once he was sure she'd finished.

 "Ah-wha?" Sabine started, apparently not having known Ezra was even awake "it's nothing. Just an old Mandalorian tradition. I didn't mean to wake you up. Did you sleep alright?"

 "What kind of old Mandalorian tradition?" Ezra asked, completely disregarding her attempts to divert the conversation.

 "Nothing," Sabine shook her head.

 "Didn't seem like nothing to you."

 "Well, it's nothing that matters to you," Sabine said.

 "Everything you…" Ezra stopped mid-sentence, knowing that if he said "everything you say maters to me," she might start to think he had feelings for her— which he did, but he was pretty sure she still didn't feel the same way, and he didn't want to run the risk of scaring off his only ride back home. So, he switched trains of thought.

 "You mentioned Kanan," Ezra shook his head.

 Sabine looked at him, and in her eyes he saw the softness and pain she was trying all too well to hide. He smiled slightly, nodded slightly, raised his eyebrows slightly, tried to remind her with merely a look that her secrets were safe with him.

 Sabine sighed.

 "It's a remembrance," she offered, "'I am alive, but you are dead.'" she shook her head as she choked out the words, "'I remember you, so you are eternal.'"

 Ezra smiled a little at the sentiment, at keeping the memory of someone alive long after they're gone— but then he realized that the names of her family were included in that list.

 "You mentioned your family too," Ezra said, quietly, "Are they…?"

 Sabine nodded, "they're gone."

 "And Ahsoka?"

 "I think so," she said, the words petering out as a single breath.

 Ezra thought he saw a tear trickle down her cheek as she looked away from him. He didn't fight the urge to climb up onto the bed next to her and wrap an arm around her for comfort. He realized after he did so that he'd taken a gamble, and she was likely to be annoyed by his attempt to comfort her, so he was surprised when, instead of twisting away from him, she actually leaned closer, accepting the shoulder he gave her to cry on.

 "I'm so sorry, Sabine," Ezra whispered, with no idea what other words he could even offer.

 "There's nothing you could've done," Sabine said, "there's nothing anyone could've done."

 Ezra remembered thinking the same thing when the empire took his parents, that there was nothing anyone could've done to help him— but that didn't mean he didn't want anyone to.

 "I could've been there for you," Ezra shook his head, "I should've been there for you. Kriff, I've missed out on so much."

 Sabine lifted her head off his shoulder and looked up at him.

 "But I am here for you now," Ezra said, letting go of her and resting his hand on the bed behind her, "if you wanna talk about it at all."

 Sabine shook her head and looked away.

 "I don't wanna talk about it."

 "Alright," Ezra nodded, "is there anything I can do?"

 "Could you just sit here with me?" Sabine asked.

 "Absolutely," Ezra smiled.

 They treasured a moment's silence, before Sabine leaned a little closer, resting her head on his arm again. She glanced up at him as a smile crossed his face, and he rested his head on top of hers.

 Maybe he hadn't been there for her for the last few years. Maybe there were a lot of moments she'd needed him that he missed out on.

 But this moment? It wasn't going to be one of them— he was here for her now, and that's what mattered.

 And he wasn't going to stop being there for her ever again.

[agrosehamada]

Disney World Trip Outfits

I FINALLY finished all the outfits for Rose and Penny for our Disney World trip at the end of this year! I know I've posted them piecemeal as I've made them, but here is the master post of all of them! :)

Travel Day outfit--Disney World print dress for the plane rides! (Matching dresses for Penny and Rose!)

Mickey Balloon pajamas for resort room slumber parties! (Matching PJ's for Penny and Rose!)

Ariel (Penny) and Rapunzel (Rose) swimsuits--it might be too cold to swim (and I would never take an AG doll into a pool) but I thought we still might be able to get some cute pics by the pools :)

Animal Kingdom Minnie Mouse dress for Animal Kingdom! (Matching dresses for Penny and Rose!)

Magic Kingdom Day 1: Ariel pink dress (Penny) and Mulan (Rose)!

Belle pink dress (Penny) and village dress (Rose) for dinner at the Be Our Guest restaurant!

Epcot Day 1: The Seas with Nemo and Friends dress (Penny) and Spaceship Earth/the Epcot ball dress (Rose)

Disney Parks ruffle dress for Disney Springs (matching dresses for Rose and Penny!)

I couldn't decide whether to focus on Toy Story or Star Wars for Hollywood Studios so--outfit changes! XD Jessie (Penny) and Bo Peep (Rose) from Toy Story, and Sabine (Penny) and Ezra (Rose)from Star Wars Rebels Disneybounds!

Epcot Day 2: Ratatouille (Penny) and Figment (Rose) Disneybounds!

And for Magic Kingdom Day 2 outfits you will probably recognize from the past but I wanted to include the whole trip wardrobe, Ariel's blue dress (Penny) and Rapunzel (Rose).

This has been a LONG journey but I've had so much fun working on this project, thanks for coming along for the ride! I can't wait to get pics of the girls in the Parks having adventures later this year :)

[oh-three]

Bad Batch S3E9:

Beautiful opening shots and music

Guysss, Cross as updated his armor a bit….I miss the antenna pauldron 😭

Not Batcher chasing the moon-yos reminding me of Jurassic Park II's opening scene

Who the fuck landed in that cave.

VENTRESS!!

Okay, I should've realized it when the description said "mysterious stranger".

Damn, she knows exactly who they are.

AYYY. SHE WAS FENNEC'S CONTACT.

The way they phrased the dialogue to say "more capable of wielding the Force". Dave Filoni watching out to make sure that another Sabine situation makes sense.

"I need to know what I am." 😭

Ventress putting Omega through basic Jedi tests >>>>

THE MUSIC.

Damn, they figured out who she was fast.

….Is riding Batcher cheating?

Ventress fist fighting the Bad Batch isn't something I thought I needed, but this is actually kind of entertaining.

BAD BATCH THEME. Like, not the full theme, but maybe as close as we'll ever get to it, with the pitching changes to the score over the seasons.

Shitttt, the "I wasn't planning on killing you, but you're making it very tempting" quote was directed at the team.

"We were pawns in the same war. And we all lost. "The Empire is more dangerous than you could possibly fathom. I'm many things, but I am not your enemy." Honestly, I don't think she came here to do harm. They just pushed a little too hard- can't entirely blame them, though, with her record, but still.

"Okay, but if she's as bad as you say, then why didn't she kill you when she had the chance?" Glad to see she's thinking about this rationally.

Omega making decisions for TBB (and them going along with it) >>>>>

Wait. Using Batcher wasn't cheating? Must've been an improvisation test, then.

Okay, but seeing Ventress casually sitting on that boat, more curious about Omega than anything, is very satisfying for her journey after seeing how violent she had been at the start of TCW and how far she's come since Dooku.

Not Ventress turning to glare directly into the binocs 🤣

THIS SCENE IS BEAUTIFUL 😭

Ventress, you accidentally summoned something that wants to eat you, good job.

Oh, it has kraken tentacles!

The animation of Ventress's hair when it's wet is so fucking good.

Wait, I saw a Tumblr post about the Marauder getting blown up in the Teth episodes- I don't think that actually happened, because that's definitely it.

I half thought they were gonna leave Ventress there, I'm surprised Crosshair was the one to let her aboard.

Test 1: Patience/Mediation/Balance. Test 2: Improvisation. Test 3: Connecting with animals through the Force.

So, Omega does have a high M-count 👀

"You're not as safe as you think you are." Well, that's ominous as fuck.

That ship has an extra-long wing like the Twilight, neat.

Are we all in agreement that next week is the invasion of Pabu?

[alphasmoonlit-selfships]

Hehehe, I just had a giddiness of fun drawing my self insert interact with Sabine and Ezra, she's a tiny ma'am's than the both of them, but is a massive tank in her Lyca-nortic Beast form.... Bites them lol I forgot to mention she can speak in her Lyca-form too~ 👀🐺

The scenes above are essentially from the infiltration mission Midnight (Dany) informed the Ghost crew on prior to meeting them. Originally, only seeking them out for the ride, with compensation for getting there and getting out safely. However, Hera wasn't on the idea of her going alone, despite her adamentness that she's done this multiple times before.

Caving in, Midnight allows for Sabine and Ezra to come along for their stealth and skills. A quick and sneak infiltration that wold have gone well had her contact not given her false intel on escaping~ So several stormtroopers come firing, they scramble and are essentially trapped until Midnight makes a sudden decision to reveal her Lyca-form.

They do all manage to escape just fine~ with only a shot at my self insert in her Lyca-from when leaping onto the Ghost. Which leads to this following draw that takes place like a few days later:

Silly conversation with the best boy, Ezra! 🤭 Dany has definitely warmed to the Ghost crew, however still plans to follow through with the initial plans of the mission by going off on her own again after helping them. Singing her way for credits and looking for rebels to assist where needed.

But out of her earshot, the crew has definitely taken a liking to her, despite being in her late teens, nearly 20, they (specifically Hera) think she acts a little recklessly with her life, especially upon learning more about her background.

So, since Ezra has been the one to talk with her more frequently since meeting her they send him to convince her to join the Ghost. After some time, he brings up the question to her, which leaves her in state of surprise... I wonder why? ^ↀᴥↀ^

well,,, despite my silly cliffhanger there 😅 at the end of the day she does accept! My self insert becomes Specter-7 (forgive me Jacen being Specter-8 in my au), perhaps, I'm in the mix if she'd like for the crew to refer to her as Midnight while on missions or for the sake of consistency, Specter-7,,

Hope ya'll enjoy more of my silly rebels!self insert uwu

[paigeswiftsea]

Shaking hands

Ch.9 of apocalypse

Full story is on ao3

chapter below

wc: 2,405

Blaire laughed joyfully as the wind rushed past them, the thrill of speed and freedom exhilarating her. Unconsciously, she held Sabine tighter around the waist as they weaved through the mountain roads that led towards the city. Sabine, feeling the warmth of Blaire's touch and the closeness between them, couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort she hadn't felt in a long time.

As they sped along, the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow across the landscape. Sabine glanced back at Blaire, her usual sharp expression softened by the moment. "Hold on tight," she called back over the roar of the engine, a small smile playing on her lips.

Blaire nodded, her heart racing not just from the ride, but from the closeness she felt with Sabine. The night air was cool against her skin, but Sabine's presence beside her warmed her in a way she hadn't expected. For a moment, all the tensions and conflicts seemed to fade away, leaving only the thrill of the ride and the growing connection between them.

As they approached the outskirts of Jorvik City, Sabine slowed the motorcycle and pulled into a quiet alleyway. She cut the engine, and for a moment, they sat in comfortable silence, catching their breath. Blaire, still holding onto Sabine, looked up at her with a smile that was both playful and genuine. "That was amazing," she said, her voice filled with excitement and something more.

“ You’ve never been on a motorcycle, Have you?” Sabine laughed at blaire looking at her cheeks heat up.

“ Was it that obvious?”

“Kind of.”

“Oh.” Blaire mumbled looking away.

“Anyway, lets go.” Sabine gestured out of the alleyway, not waiting for blaire as she walked out into the bustling night city.

As Sabine led Blaire out of the alleyway and into the vibrant, bustling city night, Blaire couldn't help but feel a mix of nervousness and excitement She had been to jorvik city before of course, but never like this. The streets were alive with people, lights, and the distant hum of music from various clubs and bars.

They walked side by side, navigating through the crowds. Blaire took in the sights—the neon signs reflecting off wet pavement, the aroma of street food mixing with the crisp evening air. It was a stark contrast to the quiet solitude of the wilderness where she usually found herself.

Sabine seemed at ease in this environment, her demeanor less guarded than usual. She pointed out various landmarks, sharing anecdotes and stories that hinted at a life beyond their usual conflict. Blaire found herself listening intently, intrigued by this glimpse into Sabine's world outside of dark riders and battles.

As they passed a street performer playing a lively tune on his guitar, Sabine glanced at Blaire with a hint of amusement. "Enjoying yourself, Soul Rider?" she asked, her voice teasing.

Blaire smiled back, feeling a sense of camaraderie she hadn't expected. "Yeah," she admitted. "It's different, but… kind of fun."

Sabine nodded, her eyes scanning the bustling street ahead. "Good," she replied simply, her expression unreadable yet strangely inviting.

“ Did you grow up here?” Blaire asked as they walked down the street aimlessly.

“Uhm, not quite, I grew up in one of the rich suburbs in the hills.” Sabine replied.

they strolled along the lively streets, the city lights casting a warm glow around them, Blaire found herself enjoying this unexpected moment of peace with Sabine. The night seemed to soften Sabine's usual sharp edges, and Blaire appreciated the chance to see a different side of her.

Sabine glanced at Blaire, a faint smile playing on her lips. "It's been a while since I've wandered around like this," she admitted, her voice quieter than usual.

Blaire nodded, curious about Sabine's past. "What was it like growing up in the suburbs?" she asked, genuinely interested.

Sabine shrugged nonchalantly. "Quiet. Boring, mostly," she said with a hint of nostalgia. "But it had its perks. Nice houses, big yards. Not like the hustle and bustle here."

Blaire chuckled softly. "I can imagine. Must be quite a change."

Sabine glanced at Blaire again, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her face. "Yeah, it's different," she agreed quietly. "But I've always been drawn to the city. There's a certain energy here, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that," Blaire said, thinking about how different their lives must have been growing up. "So, did you come here often?"

Sabine nodded. "Yeah, whenever I could. It was… an escape, I guess."

After a while, Sabine turned to Blaire and said, "Want to see my place? It's not far from here."

Blaire hesitated for a moment but then nodded, her curiosity piqued. "Sure, why not?"

Sabine led her through the streets to one of the nicest building in the city, holding Blaire’s wrist as they walked in. Sabine led Blaire up to the fifth floor and unlocked the door to her apartment.

“ Here it is.”

Inside, the space was surprisingly cozy and well-decorated, a mix of modern and vintage elements that gave it a unique charm.

"Make yourself at home," Sabine said, tossing her keys onto a small table by the door.

Blaire looked around, taking in the eclectic mix of furniture and the view of the city skyline from the large windows. "This place is amazing," she said, genuinely impressed.

Sabine shrugged, a hint of pride in her voice. "Thanks. It's my little sanctuary away from everything."

Blaire wandered over to a bookshelf filled with an array of books and knick-knacks. "You have a lot of interesting stuff here," she commented, picking up a small, intricately carved wooden box.

Sabine walked over and gently took the box from Blaire's hands. "Yeah, I like to collect things," she said, opening the box to reveal a set of delicate silver rings. "Each piece has a story."

“Never took you for the kinda girl that collects things.”

“There’s a lot you dont know about me” Sabine shrugged “ I’m not just the evil woman you think of when you hear the name Sabine Blackwood.”

Sabine smiled faintly, turning the ring in her fingers. “This one belonged to my mother. She gave it to me when I turned eighteen. It's supposed to symbolize strength and independence.”

“Is that a phoenix? On the ring?” Blaire asked finger running over the intricate grooves of the ring.

Sabine nodded, her expression softening. “Yeah, it is. My mother always said it represented rising from the ashes, no matter how many times you're knocked down.”

Blaire looked at Sabine with newfound understanding. "That's powerful. I didn't know you had such a connection with your mom."

“Uh, I dont really. It’s kinda complicated.” Sabine replied looking at the ring. Blaire nodded sensing it was a touchy topic, stepped back from sabine and continued to look around Sabine’s living space. Sabine put the ring back in the box slowly, snapping the lid shut and putting the box back in it’s place before watching Blaire look at her different decorations.

The silence was comforting, but as Sabine watched Blaire, she felt a sense of warmth fill her. She fit right into the apartment. She noticed the way Blaire touched and held her hair, twirled it then flipped it behind her back. The way she held the charm of the necklace she wore, slowly sliding it back and forth on the chain. Sabines eyes softened even more watching blaire, almost imagining what could be.

Blaire turned around, not noticing the look in sabine’s eyes chuckling as she said, “ I think the design you have is cool here, very victorian. I would expect nothing less from you.”

Sabine shook the look out of her eyes, reverting to her tough exterior. “ Oh yeah? What makes you say that?”

“ You just have an vampric vibe to you I guess. its interesting.”

Blaire turned around, not noticing the look in Sabine’s eyes, chuckling as she said, “I think the design you have is cool here, very Victorian. I would expect nothing less from you.”

Sabine shook the look out of her eyes, reverting to her tough exterior. “Oh yeah? What makes you say that?”

“You just have a vampiric vibe to you, I guess. It's interesting.”

Sabine's mind was a whirlwind of emotions. Part of her wanted to let her guard down, to embrace the warmth she felt whenever Blaire was near. But another part of her screamed to stay distant, to remember her role and the danger of letting anyone in.

She watched Blaire, her heart clashing with her mind. The vulnerability she'd shown was terrifying, and it made her feel weak. She couldn't afford weakness, not now, not ever. Sabine's thoughts raced: What if Blaire found out about her true motives? What if she used this against her? The very idea of exposing herself felt like a betrayal to everything she had been taught.

Sabine took a deep breath, steeling herself. Her eyes hardened, and her expression turned cold. “Get out,” she said, her voice firm and unyielding.

Blaire blinked, taken aback by the sudden change in tone. “What?”

“You heard me,” Sabine repeated, her tone icy. “Get out. This was a mistake.”

Blaire looked hurt, confusion clouding her features. “Sabine, I—”

“Just go,” Sabine snapped, turning away to hide the turmoil in her eyes. “Before I change my mind.”

“ Did I do something?”

“Go!” Sabine responded.

Blaire hesitated for a moment, then nodded slowly, her expression a mix of sadness and determination. “Fine. But this isn’t over, Sabine.”

With that, Blaire left the apartment, closing the door behind her. As soon as she was gone, Sabine let out a shaky breath, the cold mask she had put on slipping away. She felt a pang of regret, but she knew it was necessary. Letting Blaire in was too dangerous, and she couldn't afford any distractions. Not now, not ever.

Sabine sat down, her mind a storm of conflicting emotions. She knew she had made the right choice, but it didn't make the pain of pushing Blaire away any easier to bear. She couldn’t fall in love with Blaire. it would be too hard. they were too different. At least thats what Sabine told herself as she sunk down to the floor, hating the feeling of vulnerablilty in her chest.

Blaire walked down the hall of the apartment building, confused at Sabine's sudden change in demeanor. It was like whiplash how fast Sabine had gone from a semblance of calm and happy to angry and how she was on a regular basis.

Replaying the events in her head as blaire pressed the button for the elevator, she didn’t think she’d done anything wrong, at least not that she thought. Had she offended Sabine somehow by something she said? Why didn’t Sabine want her there anymore? Blaire truly thought the were getting along for once, and she had a feeling they just took some steps forwards. But now they are regressing.

Blaire already knew what the other soul riders would say when she told them what happened. As much as she loved them, they were asses to her when she ever talked about trying to make things right with the dark riders.

She walked out into the now chilly streets of the city, making her way to the bus stop back to the country. She had on the bench with a sigh, folding her arms to warm herself up slightly before closing her eyes.

“Rough night?” an older lady said sitting next to blaire on the bench.

Blaire opened her eyes to find an elderly woman with kind eyes and a warm smile seated next to her. She nodded slowly, the weight of the evening pressing down on her. “Yeah, you could say that,” she replied, her voice tinged with exhaustion and frustration.

The woman gave a sympathetic nod. “City life can be tough, especially when your heart’s involved.”

Blaire glanced at her, surprised by the accuracy of her observation. “How did you—”

The woman chuckled softly. “I’ve lived a long time, dear. You learn to see these things. Matters of the heart are never easy, but they’re often worth the struggle.”

Blaire sighed, her thoughts drifting back to Sabine. “It’s complicated. We’re… very different.”

“Differences can be bridges, not barriers,” the woman said gently. “It’s all about how you choose to cross them.”

Blaire considered her words, finding a strange comfort in them. “Maybe. But it feels like we’re always moving backwards.”

The woman patted Blaire’s hand reassuringly. “Sometimes, stepping back is just a way to gain a better perspective. Give it time, and don’t be afraid to follow your heart, even if it leads you into uncharted territory.”

Blaire nodded, her resolve strengthening. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

The woman smiled warmly. “Anytime, dear. Remember, the heart knows what it wants, even when the mind protests.”

As the bus pulled up, Blaire stood, feeling a bit lighter. “Thank you,” she repeated, looking back at the woman.

The woman smiled warmly at Blaire. “Remember, dear, in a place as magical as Jorvik, balance is everything. Sometimes, the darkest paths can lead to the brightest lights, and those who seem the most different might just be the ones who bring that balance.”

Blaire furrowed her brow, intrigued. “What do you mean?”

The woman patted her hand gently. “You’ll see. Trust your instincts, even when they lead you to unexpected places. And remember, the most important balance is the one in your heart. Don’t let fear keep you from finding it.”

As Blaire opened her mouth to ask more, the bus pulled up with a screech, and she was momentarily distracted by the sound. When she turned back, the woman was gone, as if she had vanished into thin air. Blaire looked around, bewildered, but the street was empty, save for the distant hum of the city.

She boarded the bus, her mind racing with the woman’s cryptic words. As the bus rumbled down the street, Blaire couldn’t shake the feeling that the encounter was more than just a coincidence. The message about balance, darkness, and light seemed to resonate deeply, especially in the context of her complicated relationship with Sabine.

As the city lights flickered past, Blaire resolved to follow the woman’s advice. She needed to trust her instincts and find a way to bridge the gap between her and Sabine.

[better-call-mau1]

Visions, Voices, and Awkward Hypotheticals sounds fun. What is it about?

So glad you asked about this one!! 😄

Now, to keep myself from sounding completely kriffing bonkers when I explain where this idea came from, I want to briefly point out the obvious: Rebels is a kids’ show. It’s aimed at a younger audience than The Clone Wars and avoids getting into the details when addressing serious/mature/adult themes — as you’d expect and want in a kids’ show.

That said…there are always some not-so-kid-friendly implications which simply can’t be scrubbed…so, as far as I can tell, they’re hidden in plain sight and only hinted at vaguely. 🤫 Or the writers just didn’t realize what they were implying.

In the case of Season 3’s “Visions and Voices” episode, it’s mentioned explicitly why the Nightsister spirits bargain with Maul for flesh and blood: they need to rebuild their clan. What’s not explained, though, is why they don’t possess Maul and Ezra (two males) on the spot. What’s also not explained is why they don’t hesitate to possess Sabine…or why Possessed Sabine gives Ezra that smirk when she first opens her creepy-green-mist-eyes…or why she later stalks him (practically pounces on him) while Possessed Kanan kneels on the altar like he’s got nothing better to do because as far as the spirits are concerned, he doesn’t…or why the Nightsisters seem to think ‘rebuilding their clan’ is best accomplished by making exactly one dubious deal with exactly one dubious ex-Sith Lord for approximately two living bodies. 🧐 (Basically, the Nightsister spirits are pretty intense Sabezra shippers…so long as both Sabine and Ezra are under their influence. 😅)

To be honest, this interpretation is probably a little off the wall…but it still makes for a perfect missing scene fic — and Visions, Voices, and Awkward Hypotheticals features Sabine and Ezra unpacking what I hinted at above after leaving Dathomir. Between Sabine’s fledgling crush, Ezra being fairly oblivious, and lots of banter-y silliness, I think it’ll be a fun one. 🤪

Thanks so much for the ask!!! (Sorry for taking a bit to answer it…I was on the road for nine hours yesterday. 😵‍💫) You’ve gotten me excited to finish this fic again, which is always a great feeling. Here’s a wee snippet beneath the cut (and this is the post for the ask game if anyone else wants a WIP snippet):

“Didn’t you think about why the spirit in my body had me stalking you, all while Kanan’s kept him back at the altar?”

“You were stalking me?!”

“The spirit was stalking you, Ezra. I was along for the ride.”

“But you —” He caught her glower and quickly corrected himself. “— the spirit, I mean, just wanted one of its creepy friends to possess me, too. Right?”

“Not just…” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Alright, are you seriously not getting what I’m saying here? The Nightsisters wanted ‘flesh and blood’ to rebuild their clan. What could they do with ‘flesh and blood’ — a boy and a girl — that they couldn’t do by themselves?”

“Huh…a boy and a girl…hmmmmmm…wait…do you mean…?”

“No need to say it out loud.”

[lavender-jedi]

MAJOR AHSOKA EP 4 SPOILERS AHEAD

Ok so ngl I'm REALLY not sure how I feel about Sabine doing what she did at the end of the episode...

Like DON'T GET ME WRONG, it is VERY Sabine to be rash, pull dumb shit, fuck around, and find out, but tell me.... when's the last time Sabine did what she was told to by ANYONE?

I fully didn't expect her to shoot the map (mainly bc of plot but also bc of above), but I also didn't expect her to just hand it over bc again the girl does NOT like to do what she's told.

PERSONALLY, it would have made more sense to MOI if she had tried to pull some Saturday Morning Cartoon Third Option Nonsense(tm) only for it to backfire horribly and still end with the map in the bad guys' hands because a saturday morning cartoon this is NOT. Also, imo that better aligns with Sabine's main personal flaw, in that she is defiant to a FAULT. She is the polar opposite of easily influenced, to the point of trying to find new solutions in places where they don't exist and needlessly exacerbating existing problems.

But hey I don't get paid the big bucks, I'm just along for the ride...  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sharkpupsblog]

😨 Lost Horse! 🐎 PART 11. Storm brewing.

Sabine x GN! Reader fanfic!

Hi hi hi!!!! Silly part out today!!! Next part will be Friday instead of Monday! I am trying to get this done quickly bcs I am on the last few chapters now! Gonna wrap them up and post them monday and friday! Anyways nothing else to say rn so! Enjoy! :D

Summary: You face the consequences of your actions.

Warnings: horses in distress and foul language.

Khaan’s angry neighing echoes up the trail. Along with his neighs you can hear someone calling your name. You know exactly who it is. Her voice is so easily recognizable. It was all you heard during the ride into Goldenhills and out. The Friesian neighs again. You want to run to help him, but you stop yourself. You look to Sabine. Your girlfriend has her eyes narrowed. She’s looking down the trail where Khaan’s neighs are coming from.

You know exactly what the girl has in mind. She wants to get her horse back. She lost him once she won’t lose him again “go!” You whisper yell to her. It makes her look at you. Her look softens when she looks at you. “I can get Khaan for you from Anne” the Soul Rider won’t hurt you, but she will hurt your partner if she tries to get her horse. You can’t let Anne see Sabine. You know that if the two see each other a fight will break out. “She won’t hurt me” you nudge Sabine trying to get her to move. The girl takes a step back “please Sabine just leave I will get him back I promise.”

You want to protect your girlfriend. There is desperation in your voice. The girl closes her eyes as panic tries to knock her down. Her fear makes her knees weak. Sabine thinks about what to do… She can trust you. She knows she can trust you to get her horse, but she’s terrified to leave. What if she loses Khaan again? The girl groans as she hesitantly nods. She’s putting a lot of trust in you. “I’ll leave but-“ she has something to tell you before she does. “Tell your father about me” she opens her eyes, and she looks down the trail again as Khaan neighs.

Your fear turns into confusion. “Tell him and then take him to the fields in Silverglade” Sabine has chosen a dangerous spot to meet with your dad. Being out in an open field with an enemy that has an advantage from being close to home is incredibly dangerous. It leaves her vulnerable and she knows it. She hopes it can be used to her advantage. She hopes it will make your dad feel safer. If he feels like he has some control over the meeting, then he might listen to you both. The girl hopes you will catch onto what she’s putting down.

It goes completely over your head. Your fear and confusion make it hard to think. Even without being able to think straight, you trust Sabine. You nod “I’ll try my best” there was no promise of making your dad listen. The man is old. He’s hated those who work with Garnok and Garnok himself for years. Can you erase years of hatred? You pray to Aideen that you can. You turn to your mare she’s neighing back to Khaan. “Take her” you grab her reins trying your best to soothe her as you hand the reins to Sabine. “Even if my father does not agree I will still meet you in the field” you had to deliver Khaan to his owner.

“Call me-” the girl says as she takes the reins from you. Your mare lets out a neigh, and she shakes her head. She paws at the ground. She too is worried for Khaan. “Tell me what he says and please-” when she says please you can hear how scared she is. “-Get Khaan back for me” Sabine mounts your mare. She wants to say more to you but the situation you are both in has given you no time to speak. The Lipizzaner tosses her head back as the girl clicks her tongue. You nod again “I will and I promise I’ll get Khaan back!” You speak with confidence in your voice.

You will get her horse back you’re confident that you will “be careful! Anne’s friends are most likely around the trail!” Sabine nods she knows the Soul Rider’s are always in groups. They never ride alone. The girl takes one last look at the trail before riding away. When your girlfriend rides away you turn and run to where you hear Khaan’s neighing. As you run you call Khaan’s name. Khaan lets out a shrill neigh in response to your call. You tell the poor horse to be calm. It doesn’t take you long to get to the Friesian. He is being held by Anne. The Soul Rider struggles as she holds the angry horse by the reins. When Khaan spots you he calms down a bit. His shrill neighing turns into whinnies.

You say the Friesian’s name, and you walk to him reaching for his reins. Anne keeps them away from you. She takes a few steps backwards, and Khaan follows her. She’s angry really, really angry. “I was nothing but nice to you” the girl stares you right in the eyes. She wants you to feel intimidated. It works the eye contact makes you take some steps back too. “You lied to me you lied to my friends” Anne has a tight grip on the reins. Her knuckles are white “I put my trust in you, I was nice to you, and you lied to me.”

She was really making you feel guilty. “I met with the druids that were supposed to take Khaan if the plan failed” your heart drops to your stomach. “They told me no one was ever sent for him and they never had a Lipizzaner in their herds” Anne lets go of the reins. Khaan wastes no time he quickly trots to you. The horse presses his head against your torso wanting to be close to you. He would have liked to kick Anne, but he didn’t want to put you in more trouble than the one you were currently in. You held the sides of Khaan’s face giving him gentle scratches.

“Your father knows you lied” Anne looks away from you she calls her horse to her. As her horse makes its way to you both she keeps talking. “He made us come get you” the girl’s horse gets to her. It stands with its side to hers. In one smooth movement Anne is on the saddle she glares at you. “He knows about her too��� Anne clicks her tongue. Your jaw slightly drops as Anne informs you that your dad knows your secret. How did he find out? Were you not good enough at keeping it from him?

Part of you is glad he knows and the other part of you is scared shitless. Anne’s horse walks to be in front of you. Once in front of you and Khaan, Anne’s horse comes to a stop. “Get on the horse” Anne’s voice makes it clear that she’s demanding you do it. She won’t take no for an answer. If she has to force you on the horse she will. Thankfully for her you don’t fight her command. You let go of Khaan’s head, and you walk to his side quickly mounting him. It’s time to tell your father the truth.

Riding into Valedale was uncomfortable. Tons of eyes were on you and Khaan. The villagers knew. They all knew of your lying and who you were with. Khaan only made things worse. He proved that what the villagers heard was true. As you rode past them, they all glared at you. A lot of people were outside. They were all watching you ride by. Some turned to whisper things about you to those around them.

Nothing interesting ever happened in Valedale. You and your devil horse were the most interesting thing in years. You wanted to escape the villagers gazes, but it wasn’t possible. The Soul Riders were making you ride in front of them. They had you in front so they could keep a good eye on you and the Friesian. You couldn’t hide. You tried your best to ignore the looks from the people around you. When you spotted home, you felt some relief. Khaan’s hooves clicked against the stone of the bridge leading home as he made his way onto it. You were almost there. You were almost home. The looks and whispers would soon be over.

Desperate to end them faster you asked Khaan for a trot, and he trotted. Anne felt her heart jump when she saw Khaan trot. She thought you were going to run off. You didn’t of course. You did have the idea of running, but you knew the Soul Riders would catch you. You didn’t stand a chance against them. Even with Khaan, there was no way you could outrun them all. You let out a sigh as Khaan trotted off the bridge. The steed slowed on the trail that led home. You rode him to the front of your home. In front of your house you dismounted.

Khaan huffed as you dismounted. The Friesian looked at the home. He missed it. He knew he was no longer welcome, but he missed it very much. He missed the treats your father gave him. He missed the pats and the praises from your father. He missed all the pampering and babying. Your father sadly had nothing but disgust and fear for him now so no treats or pats would be given. Khaan looked back at you when he heard you walking. Fallen leaves from trees crunched under the soles of your shoes. The horse watched as you made your way to the door.

His ears pinned to the back of his head when he heard Anne speak to you. He could hear her telling you that your father was inside. The Friesian snorted, and he shook his head. How he wished he could speak. How he wished he could tell Anne to shut up. He shook his head again trying to keep himself calm. You stood at the door with your hand on the handle. You took a deep breath in, and you opened the door. Khaan let out a neigh as he watched you walk inside the home. He was wishing you good luck. He knew you would need it.

TYSM FOR READING! :D also I just realized how many of my fics have foul language warnings . Gotta watch my mouth fr pardon my language 😭😭😭😭

[worfianism]

Ahsoka Ep 7

Spoilers ahead

- oooo sassy hera

- always so funny when star wars characters are like this sounds like a fairy tale and im like yes buddy you are indeed in a fairy tale

- C3P0!!!! On behalf of LEIA 😭😭😭😭😭

- Senator Organa is Senatoring

- see I get it. Senator Xiono being wary because Hera does read like a military woman stuck in a war but he's very reticent which along with the fact they pointed out that there is ex-empire at all levels in the new Republic make me distrust him

- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ANAKIN

- at least he's self aware 😂

- SKYGUY STILL TEACHING SNIPS 😭😭😭😭😭

- Awh buddy. You know what I think Good Master is pushing it but I get it. I really do think he tried his best when it came to Ahsoka especially since they were at war but he still let his selfishness get in the way of being a truly good master.

- Huyang I LOVE YOU. David Tennant I LOVE YOU.

- sometimes I forget that Ahsoka was apprenticed to arguably the best pilot in the galaxy

- did he not know this? Or is that he knew that Anakin was Vader but not that Ahsoka was apprenticed to Anakin?

- YOU KNOW WHY JEDI HAVE HAD TO HIDE FOR YEARS?????? (Order 66 mention im sensitive about that)

- I do get why people enjoy Thrawn as a villain

- I love that we go from space battle to idyllic little ride with ezra and sabine

- Zeb mention!!!

- OMG HE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT JACEN!! DAVE YOU BETTER GIVE ME THAT REUNION!!!

- Ezra 😂😂😂 "Really? You???"

- Oh Sabine. You know you messed up. But you can't admit it and you can't fix it.

- ARE THEY CANONISING FORCE TRAINING BONDS????? I thought they were entirely headcanon? (I mean I know Rey and Kylo ren had a force bond but I thought master-padawan bonds were something the Internet made up) also sabine is basically force-null so could she have a training bond anyway?

- UH OH

- damn Baylon Skoll essentially gives like evil Obi-Wan Kenobi vibes but anyway I wonder what he's up to

- COME ON DAVE GIVE ME EZRA WITH A LIGHTSABER, GIVE MY LITTLE JEDI BACK

- omg the little guys trying with a slingshot

- Ezra's ability to care about literally anyone I love him

- COME ON GIVE THE BOY A LIGHTSABER SABINE I KNOW YOU HAVE HIS

- Sabine saying she's like you but lacks your sense of humour about Shin I can't 😂

- omg they just dropped the soft Ahsoka theme very randomly

- I wonder who did the music for the show

- EZRA TAKE THE LIGHTSABER BABY PLEASE

- THE FORCE IS MY ALLY THAT IS ALL I NEED

- EZRA USING THE FORCE 😭😭😭😭😭

- the little guy just threw a pan I love it

- AHHH LEAVE HIM ALONE !!!!! HIM AND HIS LOVELY HAIR

- oh ezra how do you not know that you can't say stuff like that it's basically asking to jinxing it

- HUYANG TO THE RESCUE!

- Oh god for a moment I forgot that troopers were now clone troopers not stormtroopers so for a second I was like yay they're being rescued!!

- EZRA LIGHTSABER PLEASE

- hes so ezra

- Huyang you have to outlive literally everyone

- I'll give that to Thrawn, they are kind of like Jedi of old

- uh ohhhh

- Ahsoka 🥺 offering to help a darksider back to the light

- EZRA AHSOKA REUNION HUG IM IN SHAMBLES 😭😭😭😭 AHSOKA'S LITTLE LAUGH

- OH EZRA MY HEART IS BURSTING WITH LOVE FOR YOU

[dundullresident]

snowfall met sabine for the first time today while i finally got to see her again. it’s been months since we last spoke yet she still makes me feel like i’m the only person to exist, in a good way. something about how she talks down to me lets me know that i’m actually her favorite. (along with the fact that she also gave me her jacket today)

 overall good day, needed to go on a ride around moorland after that interaction. i hope to see sabine again and maybe join the dark forces who knows.

[mood2you]

After dinner, Phan found her alone by the swimming pool. He sat down beside her. The night sky was a dark plum color and in the distance it glowed from the streetlights. "I bought three," he said. "Three what?" "Three plots." His voice was gentle, always asking a question. It grew softer every day he was sick. Phan's hair, so black and beautifully thick, had turned gray in a month and he wore it cut close to his scalp now. "We should all be together. That is the truth, the three of us are family. I don't want you to be alone." Sabine kept her eyes down. Throuhg the gneerosity of the offer she saw that she was alone. Even in death she would be the third party, along for the ride. It got darker every minute they waited. The birds were almost quiet. Phan patted her hand. "It is a very difficult thing to discuss. I imagine that when we are gone your life will only be beginning. You could marry, have a child still. You have so far to go before you'll know how things will end. So this plot is only insurance. It says that Parsifal and I love you always, that we want you with us; and if you don't come, it will always mean the same thing. It will stay for you." Sabine nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Thoughts of their deaths, her life alone, an amendment to twin plots, over-welmed her. Though she and Phan had very few moments when they could be close out of a true fondness for on another, instead of their mutual fondness for Parsifal, she dipper her head down to his shoulder.

Hey! Don't make me

cry so early into the book!