#Secrets Scandals and Spies

[readtilyoudie]

“I never make a bet I am not certain I will win.” Seb winked at her.

“Then why not just kiss me now?” There was fire in the woman’s eyes as she stared defiantly at him.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” she challenged him. “Kiss me, then, if you’re so confident you will win this wager of ours.”

“You’re a bloody bossy female,” Seb grumbled a moment before he whisked her into his arms and his lips slammed down upon hers.

The Bachelor Bargain (Secrets, Scandals, and Spies, #1) by Maddison Michaels

[redvanillabee]

Late SSR/early SHIELD headcanon:

Peggy was originally slated to be the founding director, or at least in a much more prominent position, when the first drafts of SHIELD were drawn in the late 40s/early 50s. Unfortunately, the defection of the Cambridge Five spy ring happened at the same time, and America was like NUH UH like hell are we gonna let a Brit head up an intelligence agency on our soil. So to placate the government, they put Philips in charge, and Peggy didn't get the directorship until the late 60s.

[thexfridax]

D.E.B.S. at 20: a Queer Cult Classic

Bessie Yuill Photo: Sundance/WireImage

There is a secret film hidden within the shadowy sapphic corners of Letterboxd. Some call it escapist trash, some call it an underrated cult classic, fools call it a male fantasy. It calls itself D.E.B.S. As other early-2000s chick flicks like Charlie’s Angels and St. Trinian’s have been reevaluated and embraced for their candy-floss aesthetics and campy wit over the years, the lesbian community was quietly reclaiming its own equivalent with 2004’s D.E.B.S.

The precursor to contemporary high-concept lesbian films like Bottoms, the spy flick is filled with something that queer female moviegoers still often yearn for: fun. That includes Jordana Brewster and her era-defying eyebrows as the impeccably named supervillain Lucy Diamond, John Woo–style fight scenes that parody the action genre in the same way as Charlie’s Angels, and a cheerfully cheap aesthetic where spies run around in plaid schoolgirl skirts.

D.E.B.S. was written, directed, and edited by filmmaker Angela Robinson. While “unapologetically queer” might be an overused phrase, it does apply neatly to Robinson. The Chicago-born director’s first project was a short film called Chickula: Teenage Vampire, calling on the long history of vampiric queer women that began with 1872’s Carmilla.

Her love of playing with genre led her to later put a lesbian spin on the movie musical by writing the underappreciated Girltrash: All Night Long and exploring polyamory in a period biopic about the creators of Wonder Woman, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. On the small screen, she also burnished her lesbian credentials by working on several episodes of The L Word.

When D.E.B.S. started life as a short film, Robinson described it as “a story about a trio of superspies who are all chicks. I love all the comic-book characters: Charlie’s Angels, Batman, Josie & the Pussycats … But I always wanted them to be gay and they never were, so I wrote my own.” Success at Sundance led to Sony snatching the short up and deciding that D.E.B.S. should be a full-length feature.

Two decades later, the joy of this movie lies in the details. The tone is immediately set by a gravelly voice-over telling us that there is a secret test hidden within the SAT to recruit young female superspies (and establishing that, like Bottoms, this is a film aware of genre archetypes and willing to push believability). Our main character Amy (Sara Foster) is an academic overachiever — like many lesbians overcompensating for their perceived failure to live up to social norms. Her perfect score on the secret SAT test makes it even more scandalous when she falls for the aforementioned supervillain Lucy Diamond.

Queer friend groups may delight over the nostalgic frosty eye shadow and lip gloss worn by the D.E.B.S. (which stands for “discipline, energy, beauty, strength,” naturally) at all times. Flip phones, CGI holographic screens, and Goldfrapp’s appearance on the soundtrack will also remind you that you’re watching a film made in the early 2000s. And many will squeal when they spot Holland Taylor, over a decade before she came out, as the academy’s head.

Admittedly, the special effects are goofy enough to cross over into comedy, especially when our girls are abseiling into a restaurant or climbing walls with plungers, and the lighting could be charitably described as resembling teen soap operas of that era. But the chemistry between Amy and Lucy is crackling enough that YouTube compilations of their scenes have racked up hundreds of thousands of views online. Their fun enemies-to-lovers plotline begins with the pair pointing guns at each other and quickly progresses to a whirlwind romance (the other D.E.B.S. think Amy’s been kidnapped and launch a national manhunt, just as many friend groups have had to organize rescue missions for lesbians on weeklong first dates).

You could argue that espionage serves as a metaphor for the closet and that Amy is such an effective spy because she’s used to lying to herself about her sexuality. But that almost seems like too much weight to put on this meringue confection of a genre spoof: Its campiness liberates the characters to inhabit a fun, exaggerated universe with no serious homophobia or consequences. Guns are used, but the so-called superspies have such consistently terrible aim that there are no real casualties. And Lucy Diamond’s supposedly nefarious crimes are all reversible — the murders pinned on her are revealed to be misunderstandings, and she returns all of her stolen goods in order to win Amy back.

When this live-action Totally Spies with a lesbian twist debuted, it only made $97,000 and was dismissed by critics. But there were enough moviegoing gays impressed by its snappy dialogue, fun romance, and stunning supporting cast (including Meagan Good, Jimmi Simpson, and Devon Aoki with a French accent) for its reputation to grow online over time. In forums and YouTube comment sections, young girls were asking, “Are there any lesbian films where they just fall in love and have fun and don’t die at the end?” Their answer was D.E.B.S.

[wingedblooms]

Elain Archeron, member of The Tortured Poets Department

i’m hearing voices like a madman - so high school

i’m seeing visions / am I bad or mad or wise? - guilty as sin?

you can mark my words that I said it first / in a mourning warning, no one heard - cassandra

and for a fortnight there, we were forever - fortnight

leaving me bereft and reeling / my beloved ghost and me / sitting in a tree / d-y-i-n-g - how did it end?

i saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist - so long, london

i cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art - i can do it with a broken heart

but my bare hands paved their paths / you don't get to tell me about "sad" - who’s afraid of little old me?

so I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / "who's afraid of little old me?" / you should be - who’s afraid of little old me?

i hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind - i hate it here

one slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze […] i keep recalling things we never did - guilty as sin?

these fatal fantasies / giving way to labored breath, takin' all of me / we’ve already done it in my head / if it's make-believe / why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow? - guilty as sin?

wise men once said / "one bad seed kills the garden" / "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen" / locked me up in towers / but I'd visit in your dreams / and they tried to warn you about me - the albatross

a rose by any other name is a scandal / cautions issued, he stood - the albatross

i spied the catch in your breath - i look in people’s windows

what if I roll the stone away? / they’re gonna crucify me anyway / what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? - guilty as sin?

"stay away from her" / the saboteurs protested too much - but daddy i love him

crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox - guilty as sin?

it’s happenin' again / how did it end? / i can't pretend like I understand - how did it end?

this cage was once just fine / am I allowed to cry? / i dream of crackin' locks - guilty as sin?

thought I caught lightning in a bottle / oh, but it's gone again […] please / i’ve been on my knees / change the prophecy / don't want money / just someone who wants my company / let it once be me - the prophecy

cards on thе table / mine play out like fools in a fablе […] poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand / oh, still I dream of him - the prophecy

lilac short skirt, the one that fits me like skin […] and I'll tell you one thing, honey / i can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean - imgonnagetyouback

i, i hear thе whispers in your eyes / i’ll make you wanna think twice / you'll find that you were never not mine / (you’re mine) - imgonnagetyouback

'cause the sign on your heart / said it's still reserved for me / honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy? - the alchemy

i'll tell you something right now / i’d rather burn my whole life down […] i'll tell you something 'bout my good name / it’s mine alone to disgrace / i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing - but daddy i love him

if long-suffering propriety is what they want from me / they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly / i choose you and me religiously - guilty as sin?

[thesistersarcheron]

Pairing: Elriel Rating: E Word Count: ~4k Tags: PWP, Smut, Outdoor Sex, Feral Behavior, Dominant Azriel, Slight Degradation Kink, Forbidden Love & Secret Relationships, Established Relationship, Post-ACOSF, princess (derogatory), princess (affectionate) Summary: After Rhys reiterates his orders from that wretched Solstice night months later, Azriel snaps, and Elain quite happily earns herself a new nickname.

The long-awaited sequel to Breathless!

Read this fic on AO3 or check out a snippet under the cut.

The heat of high summer threatened to roast Azriel alive as he flew over Velaris. His shadows shrouded him from the worst of it, cool and mistlike where they lay against his skin, but even they could not fully shield his exposed wings from the sun’s furious glare.

Keep your hands off of my fucking princess.

Rhysand’s voice still echoed in his mind, the memory a fresh hell that was certain to haunt Azriel during his sleepless nights.

If you can’t get your mind out from between her legs, then you could at least pretend to have a shred of respect for her position.

Clenching his jaw against the fury gathering in his throat, Azriel tucked his wings, angling for the ground. Nosediving through the air was reckless, thoughtless—a move that would have gotten him whipped as a novice if any war camp commander had seen—but he savored the wind that stung his eyes and tore at his hair.

This rush of adrenaline felt better than the vicious, lung-shredding unworthiness clawing at his insides. That feeling had sunk its talons into him in his cell beneath his sire’s keep and held on all his life, through wars won and promotions earned and centuries of pining for a female who never wanted him back. 

And just when he thought he might have shaken it…

Now that Nesta has publicly accepted her bond with Cassian, Elain is the closest thing the Night Court has to a princess. And I won’t let you ruin the opportunity in front of us with your cock.

It was back.

In an instant, Az was just a nameless bastard again, clothed in rags and kept secret behind a door locked from the outside. A small, weak boy who had only scarred, ravaged hands and shadows that drove him near to madness to his name. 

He burned to think of the way Rhys’s cold eyes had pinned him to his seat in his heavily warded study in the House of Wind—black, empty pits of night void of any trace of stars. Though Azriel put everything he had into reinforcing the walls of ice around his mind, a ravenous, beastly feeling had stirred at the sight of the disdain in his brother’s expression.

Hell, he’d almost had to rustle his wings just to remind himself that they were no longer two emaciated, useless things hanging limply off his back for well over five centuries.

He had held off though—barely. If only so Rhys didn’t witness that moment of insecurity.

You know better than anyone how many eyes are on her. I won’t have her dragged through the scandal sheets every week like Cresseida and the Vanserra brothers. I expect you can respect that, at the very least?

Azriel could. The gossipmongers of Prythian had better spies than most governments. He could only imagine the malicious horse shit they would sell on every newsstand and street corner if they got the faintest hint of a rumor about the High Lady of Night’s quiet, reclusive sister.

The ground rushed toward him, but he waited until his shadows cried out in fright to snap open his wings. Every muscle and tendon in his back screamed with agony as he caught the wind, pulling out of his dive with a low groan.

While you were gone, Elain expressed a desire to take a more active role in the politics of this court. She cannot do that if she is embroiled in a fucking feud between my spymaster and the gods-damned Autumn Court.

Azriel, stupid with rage, had opened his mouth then. Can’t she? Feyre’s reputation hardly suffered after being caught between two High L—

Even now, with the wind roaring in his ears and his own wingbeats defeaning him, Azriel could hear the ear-splitting CRACK! as Rhysand’s hands slammed onto the desk he so rarely used.

The desk he only used when he wanted to speak to Azriel alone these days. 

Keep your hands off of my fucking princess.

The snarling command played on a loop in Azriel’s head.

And here he was, soaring low over the rooftops of the city, so easily identifiable in his leathers and Siphons. 

Reckless. 

Stupid. 

Everyone would see him.

People would talk.

He didn’t give a single shit.

He glided over the theater district, the Rainbow. The shadows whispered of shady dealings at the Palaces as they quickly passed beneath him—more insider trading from the governors, apparently, and Azriel tucked the information away for later—and gave way to the Sidra, which snaked down to the grander estates on the river’s eastern banks…

Neat, manicured hedgerows and alabaster stone crept into view.

Azriel hadn’t originally planned to go back to the River House at all after Rhysand summoned him out of the city for a meeting in the House of Wind. It was too risky, knowing Feyre would be home from her evening stroll to put the baby to bed by then. But his head went quiet at the sight of freshly trimmed rose bushes and clean-swept gravel paths. 

His feet touched down between the dahlias and the petunias.

And there she was, wielding a spade against the weeds that had terrorized her rhododendrons since the spring. It was undoubtedly hard work; as he watched, she sat back on her heels and swept the back of her hand over her glistening forehead, leaving a smudge of dirt on her smooth brow.

Elain, the shadows sighed fondly, forgetting the hell Azriel had just put them through.

One, a bold ribbon of utmost darkness, cooed, Princess.

As if Elain could hear the damned things calling to her, she turned her eyes toward him, squinting into the sun. Azriel’s chest squeezed with tenderness as her full lips formed a smile for him. Just for him.

“Azr— Oh!”

Azriel was upon her in three steps, falling to his knees in the cool patch of dirt beside her and hooking an arm around her waist. With his other hand, he took hold of her wrist, disarmed her in a swift, gentle twist of his. He tossed her spade into a bed across the gravel path. 

Better not to have sharp objects anywhere near her right now.

Her tinkling laughter trickled over him like water, a moment of cool relief from the sweltering day. ”Azriel, what in the world brought this on?”

He didn’t say a word. 

He wound the thick length of her hair around his fist and kissed her. It wasn’t a gentle kiss—it was clashing teeth and bruised lips and sharp, possessive nips until he tasted precious metal on his tongue. 

--- Continue on AO3.

[sitp-recs]

Hey!

Thanks for all the great work you do for the fandom! I couldn't go through the entire masterlist so not sure if this rec has already been answered.

Do you have any drarry fics which is just a complete emotional roller-coaster ride? Something very emotional and gut-wrenching?

Thanks again!

Hi anon, you’re very welcome! Sure thing, here are my favorites. This list has a focus on long fics but if you’re into shorts I also did an angsty rec list here. Happy Holidays!

(Un)wanted by @aibidil (E, 36k)

Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected.

Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by @firethesound (E, 44k)

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by lettered (E, 54k)

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Super Rich Kids by @thusspoketrish (E, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore (M, 82k)

When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.

Dwelling by aideomai (T, 83k)

Curses, James and Lily Potter ride again, several Ministry balls, a teenage Summer of Love, a grim young adult dystopian winter, a few different Draco Malfoys, secrets and the problems re: not having any, alternate lives, impossible lives, real lives, allusions to Dirty Dancing, and just because it's not called the Mirror of Erised doesn't mean you shouldn't know better.

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (E, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography.

Nor All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w (E, 110k)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot. But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

Another Mask Behind You by lettered (E, 116k)

Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies. (And then more porn. Seriously, if you don’t want sex scene after sex scene you probably shouldn’t read this. And please read the warnings.)

Grounds for Divorce by Tepre (E, 122k)

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

Away Childish Things by lettered (T, 153k)

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 (T, 302k)

Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness.

[jurdanhell]

if you’re still taking prompt requests for jurdan, could you do number 25 from the hurt/comfort list you posted? thank you ♥️

what is a secret, but not a promise?

Read it on AO3!

Word Count: 1,281

The moon was full of secrets. Scandalous and forbidden, everything desirable happened at night. Shadows dipped between each other along the ground, dancing as if made from candlelight as the moon cast her gaze to the Earth. Praying, believing, sacred gaze pressed to the soil so surely she need not worry about what became of her confidences when her lover vibrantly lit the sky. 

Cardan slipped from his bed sheets, careful not to wake his wife, who must have snuck beneath the covers sometime after he’d fallen asleep, waiting on her to retire. He tugged the hem of his shirt tight around his waist, willing the crown of sweat on his brow to disappear. 

He stood, overly aware of the cold floor beneath his bare feet as he made his way to the window, leaning against the stained glass. It cast beautifully when the curtains had been pulled back to let in the late afternoon light, bringing warm, colourful shapes to the ceilings, the walls, decorating the whole room. Now, they were drawn shut and tight so they might sleep. He leaned against a column where the curtains were parted, peeking around the fabric to look at the coloured glass. And then, out. 

The sun crested over the horizon ahead, and the moon made way for his arrival. Cardan glanced back at his wife, at her braid dripping down the side of the bed, now long enough to nearly touch the floor. At the way she curled into the empty space beside her where he had been. One of her hands stretched into the expanse, searching. She didn’t wake. 

He pushed open their bedroom doors and crept to the sitting room, stealing a book from an end table he’d left it on haphazardly hours ago, when he had inevitably become distracted by his wife’s curious hands. She’d felt her way down his spine, lower, and they’d whispered promises to each other in the darkness before she’d kissed his cheek and assured him that she’d come back after a meeting with her spies. 

He’d waited for her return as the moonlight softened, making room for morning, even as his eyelids grew heavy and he could no longer keep them open. Cardan crossed the sitting room to the bay window, cushioned with ornately embroidered pillows, overstuffed with fluff and feather. He tossed them aside and rest his head against the window, squinting into the sky and searching. 

He opened his book, page marked by a lace from one of Jude’s dresses. He’d tugged it once, and she’d pulled it free, tossing it at him and laughing. He tucked it into his pocket when he was sure she’d forgotten about it. 

He thumbed through the deckled pages, breathing in the cool air that pressed against the window. It ran its fingers down his skin, raising gooseflesh along his arms, and he welcomed it.

His tail thrashed against the side of the lounge seat, coming to curl up around his ankle when he could not blink away a memory. There, and then gone. The very thing that had woken him, and he could not even remember it. Could not will it back into existence, though it haunted him like any true spectre. 

The morning would not vanish his penchant for nightmares, but it could not summon them, either. It was a secret’s job to be kept, to remain, drinking in the moonlight in all their debauchery. But there were bad secrets, too. Nasty ones, that ought to remain in the foulest places, so you might never look for them. Secrets to be buried, and forgotten. Perhaps that was what the moon had been praying for. 

Jude padded across the floor quietly and came to rest upon the opposite end of the window seat. She frowned, blinking away her exhaustion as Cardan gave her a soft smile, and opened his arms. She twisted, laying against his chest and looked out the window. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand resting across her center to hold up the book, the other going to her hair. 

She was nearly asleep again by the time she remembered what she’d come out to find him for. “What’s wrong?” She asked, voice thick with sleep. 

He rest his chin on the top of her head. “What makes you think something’s wrong?” He was grateful, for once, that she was not, could not, look at him. 

“You’re reading,” she said, blinking hard as if to wake herself. 

He huffed a soft laugh. “I assure you,” he said. “This is no new habit of mine.” He swallowed thickly and hoped she hadn’t heard it. 

She inhaled deeply and sat up, turning back to face him again. Yawned. “I’m going to ask you how you are,” she whispered. The hair on Cardan’s arm stood on end again. “And I would like you to answer me honestly.”

He nearly huffed at the last amendment. As though he could do anything else. Instead, she had meant the fullness of the truth, the lack of evasion. For better or for worse, she would get it out of him at some point. At least he’d stopped sweating. 

He let the book fall open on his lap and spoke before she could ask again. “I had a nightmare,” he said. “I’m fine, now.” It could not have been a lie. Jude raised a brow, assessing. Surely, she’d rooted out how fickle of a word fine could be. 

“Do you always read at the break of dawn?” She asked instead. 

The corner of his mouth twitched. “No, but sometimes I would read through it, and into the late afternoon hours.” She looked at him incredulously. “I seem to make a habit of willingly forgetting.” 

She leaned against the window. “Come back to bed,” she whispered. “It’s late.” Maybe this was a promise, too. 

Cardan looked down to the book in his lap, at the passage highlighted that he’d reread so many times he wondered if the words were engrained in his eyes. When she said nothing, he read aloud. “Ah, love may be strong,” he whispered to her. “But a habit is stronger.”

She took the book from his hands and set it aside as she stood. Pulled him to his feet and wrapped her arms around his waist. Pushed his damp curls back from his face. Pressed a kiss to his temple. 

“What was it about?” She asked. A line appeared between her brows, and it took him great restraint to not reach down and smooth it away with his thumb. 

“I don’t remember,” he said. “Only that it was terrible.” She said nothing, so he continued into the silence. “For a moment, I revisited every time I closed my eyes as if a memory. Some integral part of me. And now, I know not what it was, only that it may never leave.”

She shook her head and pulled him close. “We get to decide the parts of us that we keep.” Her hands came to rest gently on his stomach, reached for his hand, and pulled him to their room. “What we do not like, we cast aside. We are stronger when we reforge ourselves, I think.”

Jude tugged him onto the bed, and curled him gently into her chest. His ear came to rest against her heartbeat, and he made no secret of listening intently to it for a moment. “A habit is stronger,” he continued from the passage, “and I knew when I loved by the way I behaved.”

She pressed a kiss to the top of his head, stroking loving shapes along his spine. 

“You’re my favourite habit,” he said into the darkness.

Masterlist

i start therapy tomorrow and if i die, i die

Tag List:

@cutekawaiihentaiboobies @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @whoviantalibah @snusbandxknifewife @goddess-of-writing @storiesandschemes @thesirenwashere @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @andromeddea @clockworkgraystairs @hizqueen4life @highqueenjudeduarte @the-chick-of-the-air @dorkzrul @sassylunars @justabunchoffandoms @queenofgreenbriar @fandomfanatic987 @df3ndyr @brittneyal @woodsbeyond1 @clouds-and-peonies @mis-lil-red @firestarsandseneschals @b00kworm @bisexual-bibliophile @greenbumblebee @danaanruhn @acciomanorian @ireallyshouldsleeprn @vanessa172003 @janeslandrys @potterpasties @nahthanks @ahdiejajdjsiaksudjjssj @queen-of-demons-and-hell @thefolkofthefic @myunfortunatenightmare @reneereadsstuff @lordoftermites @figonas @aftg-tcp-soc4402 @dumble-daddy @greenbriarxrose @shadowhuntingdemigod @pollyaunt @kittkatandbooboo @savagelysarcasticsilence @romantic-loverr @teenyweenynightghost @bookcide

[lemonhemlock]

What do you think might have happened if Rhaenyra and her family had been in King's Landing when Viserys died?

What an interesting question, my goodness! Well, the story would have been completely different, for starters.

Rhaenyra moving to Dragonstone was a godsent for the greens and an incredibly dim-witted decision on her part, because it allowed her rivals complete control over the capital. Alicent and Otto had unencumbered access to Viserys' corpse, which allowed them to keep his death a secret, and to the symbols of state, which allowed them to control the narrative and crown Aegon, thus presenting Rhaenyra with a fait accompli.

So, what if Rhaenyra remained in the capital? Well, so many variables, honestly! Does she still marry Daemon? Can you imagine the level of tension between Daemyra and the Hightowers? It would be a living nightmare, especially post-Aemond-maiming. Like, imagine the tension between Jace/Luke vs Aemond and an Aegon who now takes Aemond's side, with Ser Criston tossed in the middle in the training yard. In the texts, it is said that Daemyra's wedding was a huge scandal and Viserys was so upset he refused to speak to them for quite some time. So, now that I think about it, I can't really imagine how they could have stayed in KL. It stands to reason that, if they can't co-habit, someone has to leave, and that someone cannot be the literal King's wife. That's a pretty good in-universe reason for Rhaenyra to move to Dragonstone, to parallel the real historical situation of Matilda not being in the country when her father died, allowing Stephen to more easily proclaim himself as King.

It was still an irresponsible thing to do, to give up the capital; Rhaenyra should never have "killed" Laenor and married Daemon in the first place. And she should have fought tooth and nail to stay next to her decaying father and absolutely NOT give up her place on the Small Council. In fact, she should have done her damnedest to place her own loyalists on the Small Council. But that would require Rhaenyra to be politically astute, which is already OOC territory.

Anyway, let's assume she doesn't run away like a craven and/or Viserys allows her to stay post-Daemon wedding. He should soon come to regret that decision. The level of in-fighting would be maniacal. If Rhaenyra/Daemon had any brains, they would be fighting over every inch and scrap of King's Landing. Daemon should be using his connections to the Gold Cloaks to the fullest. We know Otto names Gwayne second-in-command, so there should be in-fighting within the Gold Cloaks as well. They should be arguing over placements in the Small Council. I imagine Daemon would demand a seat/portfolio, but Otto is still Hand, so Viserys should be bogged down with constant complaints and requests. They should be fighting over policies favouring one lord or another in order to win over sympathizers.

Who controls the money purse should be a big issue. Before his death, Lord Beesbury is Master of Coin and, for some unexplainable reason, he is a Rhaenyra supporter, even though he's a Reach Lord. So Tyland Lannister should be coveting and plotting his way into the Treasury as much as possible. Some good old fashioned Lannister SABOTAGE!!!

The Hightowers can also collude with the High Septon, whose seat after the Conquest is in King's Landing, not in Oldtown. For that reason, Rhaenyra shouldn't have a standing with the Church, which should be a HUGE problem for her ffs. They should be trying to invalidate her Valyrian wedding and/or any hint of worshipping other gods as much as possible - this could get really ugly, like trying to have her excommunicated and officially disqualified as heir.

They should be fighting over the loyalties of the servants in the Red Keep. Spies everywhere. Larys is an Alicent simp, so perhaps the greens could edge out an advantage there. There is absolute no explanation as to why Alicent doesn't have a small army of Hightower soldiers sworn only to her and Otto following her around. Tyland should be writing letters home to big brother asking for his own personal guard. Daemyra should be hiring people as well.

In this situation, there really can be no flip-flopping. The greens should devise multiple contingency plans for when Viserys dies and be able to recite them in their sleep. Maybe in this context even Aegon realises that shit is really serious - not sure if he'd be afforded that much independence to roam about the city all the time if Daemyra is breathing down his neck.

This could very well turn into a pantomime, like with Alicent and Rhaenyra fighting over who gets to take care of Viserys (if Rhaenyra can stomach it, lol). It's very, very important to be the first to know when Viserys dies, so as to be able to act first (and for years he has looked like he's about to keel over any day now). Ngl, as distasteful as it is, if I were Alicent, I think I'd take to sleeping in the same bed with him, just so I'll know when he stops breathing. It's the one thing Rhaenyra can't demand, since she's the daughter, not the wife.

So, when he dies, it's a matter of racing down the finish line. Daemon and Rhaenyra have to be confined to their chambers / arrested somehow, as do their children - very tricky, depending on how the loyalties of servants, soldiers and Kingsguard are divided within the Red Keep. Alicent should be sleeping with Blackfyre and the Conqueror's Crown under her pillow. Aegon should be taken immediately to the High Septon to be annointed. If he keeps escaping to the brothels, then place him under house arrest. If the blacks manage to edge out the greens, have the High Septon refuse to anoint Rhaenyra. He should be in on the plans and know what to do. Historically-speaking, popes have caused a lot of problems for the kings they rejected. Is that fair? lol no, but it's the truth. If Daemyra murder him, that's a huge crime and the population of Westeros should be appalled.

Depending on how the balance of power within the Red Keep/King's Landing looks like when Viserys dies, this could end up looking like The Purge. Knives out!!!!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

Ok, so what are your top absolute favorite marriage of convenience books?

So, in terms of actual marriage of convenience books (which I personally view differently from arranged or forced marriage books; I also think a true marriage of convenience book needs it to happen in the first half of the book, like it's the main plot versus something that just kinds happens) my absolute favorites include:

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas--obvious but extremely good

Scandal's Bride--Catriona absolutely doesn't want to marry Richard, but she agrees because she may be pregnant with his baby (and Richard ain't gonna let any of his kids go without legitimacy) at that point and he's basically like "say yes and you and your family can keep your lands :)" which is kinda underhanded but she's equally underhanded, soooo

Possession by Adriana Anders--one of the few modern versions that works for me because it's a celebrity PR marriage; they marry shortly before the book but the whole arc is about it becoming a real marriage after he's discovered on tape with a woman who looks a looot like her (they agreed it being a marriage in name only so it's not actually cheating)

Fiona and the Enigmatic Earl by Grace Callaway--occurs early in the book, and they're both like, perfect aristos on the surface; but they hide their secret professions as spies/vigilantes. And there's voyeurism! It gives Mr. and Mrs. Smith vibes but with less angst.

The Recruit by Monica McCarty--they were being set up for an arranged marriage, but she pretended to be a maid and they hooked up, during which he told her he planned on keeping a mistress while he was married (he intended the mistress to be her lol); she then turns down the arrangement, but they have to have a marriage of convenience anyway when they run into each other a few months later and he realizes she's preeeegnaaaant

Wed to the Wild God by Ruby Dixon--this one is insane because he's a hedonistic god whose presence causes hedonism in humans, so they sleep together IMMEDIATELY; but she's normally brutally practical (and he's dreamy and... not....) so she agrees to a marriage of convenience for protection from his enemies; but oh my gosh, this book has one of the hottest scenes I've EVER read

When a Girl Loves an Earl by Elisa Braden--I mostly love this because SHE traps HIM, and it's only once they're married that she realizes that he's actually Scottish and ends up there; he's determined to not love her due to past trauma, and when he finally realizes he can't avoid it he's sooo sad lol

The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden--he marries her because his brother (non-sexually) compromised her and he's a stern, non-nonsense duke; another one where the hero is determined not to love, but he's obsessed with her hands so he's doomed on that front from the jump

When the Earl Met His Match by Stacy Reid--this is the Scottish one where she comes to him, having only been penpals with him, so that she can protect her unborn baby by another man from her parents; he agrees to marry her and claim the baby for her connections, and it's all extremely romantic with one of my favorite grovels

Wicked in Your Arms by Stacy Reid--the one where he deflowers her in a closet despite hating her, and they then immediately run into his mom in the hallway while she's crying and he's chasing her down... which prompts a shotgun wedding ASAP

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera--I like this one where it's a true marriage of convenience, mutually beneficial, and it's supposed to basically be all business, as they plan on calling it off in a certain time frame... and then it's not

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez--another contemporary, but this is the one where he grudgingly agrees to marry her because he's the prince of a tiny country that needs a financial bailout from her, a billionaire; and she agrees to do it because she wants him to father her child lmao

The Viscount and The Vixen by Lorraine Heath--he marries her because she answered an ad for a wife from his crazy old dad, and he believes she's a con artist; so naturally he points out that the ad (which also promised a major payout if she doesn't get a husband) only said that the husband had to be a lord, not that it had to be his dad, so HE SHALL MARRY HER CHECK AND MATE. What he doesn't know is that she actually answered the ad because she's pregnant and trying to escape the father, so she feels very conflicted as they fall in looove.

Lord of Darkness by Elizabeth Hoyt--in this one they're kinda dealing with the aftereffects of the marriage, which happened because her brother sorta blackmailed the guy into marrying her because she was pregnant out of wedlock and the father died. Then she miscarried right after the wedding and went to live separately from the hero, but she's back in town DEMANDING that he put a baby in her (little does she know, he's a masked vigilante by night and a nerdy widower by day)

The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare--the classic "he's a scarred duke whose fiancee bails on him, and she made the wedding dress and shows up wearing it demanding payment, so naturally he's like fine I need an heir let's get married instead"

The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham--the hero and heroine enter into a fairly conventional marriage of convenience, but she doesn't realize that he actually likes to submit

[beckiboos]

Taliesin- Well I guess having a 'Palace' built on a cliff does have its downsides. Not much room for the garden

Calliope- I guess I should have expected as much. At least it's pretty but where's the mazes? The greenhouses? Where's the secret passages where spies conspire and court intrigue happens?

Taliesin- Oh I don't know... It may be small but its secluded. Private

Taliesin- A perfect place for young lovers come to meet in secret...

Taliesin- and not be disturbed for hours..

Calliope- Unless Erikur and Bryling are having a secret trysts I doubt this garden sees any kind of that kind of action

Taliesin- *Chuckles* Could you imagine? The scandal

Calliope- I'm bored of the Blue Palace now.. Shall we see if the Bards College is a bit more fun?

Taliesin- After you

[readtilyoudie]

“Actually, I do have a say. I’m your partner in the gazette.”

“Silent partner,” she was quick to emphasize. “So please, do stay silent.”

The Bachelor Bargain (Secrets, Scandals, and Spies, #1) by Maddison Michaels

[joyce7878]

#NSAspiesforeignpoliticians

Us spying scandal Hangs over German media reports that the US spied on 122 leaders "NSA accessed more than 300 Merkel messages!" After spying on German Chancellor Angela Merkel's mobile phone for years, the NSA has been revealed to have stored information about 122 heads of state, including Merkel, Der Spiegel reported. U.S. intelligence agencies created a database specifically for heads of state, according to an NSA document marked "top secret" and provided to the magazine by former U.S. spy agency contractor Edward Snowden. Ms. Merkel's name appears prominently on the list of people monitored by the database. In May 2009, the NSA sought information about 122 heads of state on the list. German Chancellor Angela Merkel, former Malaysian Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi and Somali President Yusuf are listed in alphabetical order. Merkel was ninth on the list, followed by former Malian President Amadou Toure and Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. At 122nd was Yulia Tymoshenko, then Ukraine's prime minister. The database is said to exist to "find out information about targets that would otherwise be difficult to access". Snowden provided articles proving that Merkel had indeed been the target of official U.S. spying and that the National Security Agency had gathered intelligence on her. The German newspaper Bild says Snowden's Revelations have gradually pieced together a full picture of the US intelligence agency's surveillance programs. Der Spiegel also said the documents would become important material evidence for federal prosecutors, who will decide in the coming days whether to launch an investigation into the alleged spying. The Berliner Zeitung commented that Obama's visit to Europe a week ago came as the US and Europe emerged from the spying scandal as "best friends" again. A new scandal over spying on world leaders has cast another cloud over transatlantic relations. German press TV commented that the United States is still refusing to sign a non-spying agreement with Germany. Without a legal compromise by the United States, German officials and citizens could no longer avoid being spied on.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

This day in history

Tomorrow (November 29), I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."

#15yrsago Peak Population: when will population growth stop, why, and how? https://www.alexsteffen.com/peak_population_and_sustainability

#15yrsago James Boyle’s “The Public Domain” — a brilliant copyfighter’s latest book, from a law prof who writes like a comedian https://memex.craphound.com/2008/11/29/james-boyles-the-public-domain-a-brilliant-copyfighters-latest-book-from-a-law-prof-who-writes-like-a-comedian/

#10yrsago NSA and Canadian spooks illegally spied on diplomats at Toronto G20 summit https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/new-snowden-docs-show-u-s-spied-during-g20-in-toronto-1.2442448

#10yrsago New CC licenses: tighter, shorter, more readable, more global https://creativecommons.org/Version4/

#10yrsago Berlusconi kicked out of Italian senate https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/27/silvio-berlusconi-ousted-italian-parliament-tax-fraud-conviction

#5yrsago Sennheiser’s headphone drivers covertly changed your computer’s root of trust, leaving you vulnerable to undetectable attacks https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/sennheiser-headset-software-could-allow-man-in-the-middle-ssl-attacks/

#5yrsago New York City’s municipal debt collectors have forged an unholy alliance with sleazy subprime lenders https://www.bloomberg.com/confessions-of-judgment

#5yrsago Here’s how the Pentagon swindled Congress with $21 trillion worth of undocumented, untraceable, unaccounted for expenditures https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/pentagon-audit-budget-fraud/

#5yrsago The prosecutor who helped Jeffrey Epstein escape justice is now a Trump Cabinet member https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article220097825.html

#5yrsago Reddit takes a stand against the EU’s plan to break the internet https://www.redditinc.com/blog/the-eu-copyright-directive-what-redditors-in-europe-need-to-know/

#5yrsago The secret history of science fiction’s women writers: The Future is Female! https://memex.craphound.com/2018/11/29/the-secret-history-of-science-fictions-women-writers-the-future-is-female/

#5yrsago Redaction ineptitude reveals names of Proud Boys’ self-styled new leaders https://splinternews.com/proud-boys-failed-to-redact-their-new-dumb-bylaws-and-a-1830700905

#5yrsago Redaction ineptitude reveals Facebook’s 2012 plan to sell Graph API access to user data for $250,000 https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/11/facebook-pondered-for-a-time-selling-access-to-user-data/

#5yrsago Google engineer calls for a walkout over China censorship and raises $200K strike fund in hours https://twitter.com/lizthegrey/status/1068208484053856256

#5yrsago Correlates of Trump voting: searches for erectile dysfunction, hair loss, how to get girls, penis enlargement, penis size, steroids, testosterone and Viagra https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2018/11/29/how-donald-trump-appeals-to-men-secretly-insecure-about-their-manhood/

#5yrsago Google’s secret project to build a censored Chinese search engine bypassed the company’s own security and privacy teams https://theintercept.com/2018/11/29/google-china-censored-search/

#5yrsago Mozilla pulls a popular paywall circumvention tool from Firefox add-ons store https://web.archive.org/web/20181130141509/https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-firefox/issues/82

#1yrago The Big Four accounting firms are one (more) scandal away from collapse https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/29/great-andersens-ghost/#mene-mene-bezzle

[fullscoreshenanigans]

I had the funny idea (not for a fanfic but just a idea) of a Spy x Family AU where Yuugo (secretly a spy) adopted Little Emma (with telepathic powers) with Lucas (secret hitman) BUT Yuugo and Lucas adopting Emma but NOT OLIVER? SCANDALOUS! and no Oliver can't have the role of the little brother Yuri even if he could XD

Also it would mean that little Emma has to befriend Norman Ratri and would PUNCH HIM at very first meeting while becoming friend with Ray, the son of a very famous teacher and a very famous musician. (in the manga, Betty's dad loves her very very deeply so it would fit Isabella's role)

Or the reverse, she would have to become friend with Ray and would PUNCH him at first meeting. But no because in Spy x Family, Damian's family seems to not be the very best and i refuse to imagine Isabella (and Leslie) being harsh with Ray when she can love him normally. (ok for Norman it's because "Ratri Family")

So let's try again.

I have no idea to how use Norman at Anya's place because i can't imagine who would be his parents. XD Smee is too old i think.

So let's go with Ray

Isabella is a very famous spy who has never been caught in all her life. she has a mission and has not need to adopt a child since she HAS a child. And a child with telepathic powers. For some reasons? Tragic past? Escape some exprimental stuff? Anyway Ray is her tresor and nobody has never discovered that the most famous spy EVER has a child and who is this child.

So Ray has to befriend Emma, the adoptive daugther of two mens (Yuugo/Lucas) because her fathers (or one of them) is/are a spy for the other side and that anything could start a war. (not that Yuugo or Lucas WANTS it anyways but still, spies don't always have control of the situation)

[I said that i don't want Ray to play Damian's role because his family is shitty and that i didn't want to give a bad parents role to Isabella but i change the story to fit Emma and her two loving dads (+ older brother Oliver) XD]

But Isabella has to pretend to be married. Guess who return in her life at this moment. Childhood friend Leslie. Who accept to play the role of the father.

[Leslie is secretly a hitman behind his musician carrer]

With a spy mother and a hitman father, Ray is super sarcastic. But decide to help his mum as much that he can.

(Will he punch Emma at first meeting?) (who would be Leslie's OVERPROTECTIVE little brother/sister then? Krone? XD) (at a point Leslie befriends Lucas too)

Who would be the teacher who go always impressed by Isabella//Yuugo and Ray//Emma (according of which family is chosen)? Human!Leuvis of course. (Or Human!Sonju)

Like The kids are taken hostage and Ray/Emma has telephatic powers so knows that there are no real danger and are like "meh" H!Leuvis: this kid has nerves of steels :O

a Spy x Family AU where Yuugo (secretly a spy) adopted Little Emma (with telepathic powers) with Lucas (secret hitman)

Shoutout to @yuucaslovebot for the flipped Yuucas take on this AU. (the woke version to the broke NE or RE version).

Also it would mean that little Emma has to befriend Norman Ratri and would PUNCH HIM at very first meeting while becoming friend with Ray

It is wild to think of Norman ever being tsundere toward Emma since that sort of bristling fits more with Grace Field-era Ray (Tsunde-Ray and whatnot), but on the family side of things his dysfunctional and antagonistic relationship with the Ratris lends itself well to the dysfunction among the Desmonds.

I have no idea to how use Norman at Anya's place because i can't imagine who would be his parents. XD Smee is too old i think.

Sleeping on the comedic gold of JameSmee with James as Yor so Peter is Yuri, for shame.

We were never given a definite age for James or Smee, but I think James being dead for 14 years throws people off because we always see him as he was when he died.

(The Promised Neverland Art Book World)

Meanwhile Smee has had 14 more years of aging when we see him in the present.

(Season 2 Episode 8)

But he (and James) look around Andrew's age in the voiceover visuals from chapter 160 and in the side scene where James dies at the end of chapter 173.

Granted, with the way Demizu plays around with audience perception in how she draws the characters in a given scene based on their own perception of themselves and the strife they carry in their hearts to how they view other characters around them based on their relationship with them (e.g.‚ Isabella towering over the children as an ever-looming threat in various low-angle frames, Sonju appearing behind Emma and Ray at the end of chapter 45 as an imposing figure and then becoming drastically smaller and more human than any of the wild demons the kids encounter before the reveal of the evil blood when he's revealed as an ally, Norman looking like he's a mid-thirties corporate lawyer throughout all of chapter 125 as he forms the alliance of liars with Geelan, etc.), these portrayals could be inaccurate. James could be anywhere from his mid-teens to his mid-twenties during Peter's flashback in chapter 173.

But this late in the story with more truths known to the main cast, I'm inclined to believe the aforementioned panels from 160 and 173 are reflective of their actual ages.

Who would be the teacher who go always impressed by Isabella//Yuugo and Ray//Emma (according of which family is chosen)? Human!Leuvis of course. (Or Human!Sonju)

I can't really see Sonju in an overly fawning role or getting wrapped up in all the pomp and pretense of Eden without the hidden motive of eventually being able to hunt the most dangerous game, which would be kind of a nifty spin on Henderson's character, but even then it doesn't really vibe with his overall calm and reserved personality which seems more aligned with Mr. Green during his debut in chapter 39. He's not nearly as excitable as Leuvis, who would 110% give into the throes of obsession with elegance and decorum, either on the straight-and-narrow if you don't have him entirely breaking with Eden's code, or if whomever is filling the Loid and Anya roles isn't meshing seamlessly with Eden culture and their presence is seen as a nuisance by the faculty and/or parents for trying to eek their way into upper Ostania society. The latter allows him to delight in the loopholes and subversions of the current system for his own entertainment that can align more with his canon counterpart if the elegance they display fits with his own personal and potentially convoluted code of conduct.

[saturdaynightghostclub]

Highway Hypnosis

Chapter 7: Meadow Report

I miss gossip. I miss rushing home from the library at the drop of a hat because Nora, my roommate, had “major dirt” on a classmate that couldn’t wait until I was done studying. Those text messages (or, better yet, phone calls)—the “Come home right now” followed by the “You won’t believe what I heard in the diner today”—summoned me quicker than any house fire ever could. It’s horrible, but it doesn’t feel that way when it’s happening. It feels like an accomplishment, like you’re receiving high-priority intelligence. Young people are wasted in retail and food service; we could really be put to use as spies, I think. It’s an inherent sneakiness that’s kind of thrilling, an unspoken code of conduct that we adhere to without being told: information is to be exchanged only in person, unless it’s an objective and irrefutable fact, in which case you may send it in a text message (but why would you, when it’s so much fun to see the look on your friends’ faces when you spill all the latest drama?). “Tell no one” means “Tell everyone, just don’t let them trace it back to me,” and “You can’t know this” means “No really, tell no one.” I want to exercise my knowledge of this code, to be once again on the receiving end of “You won’t believe this,” but it appears that the only good source of gossip around here is me.

I’ve just about given up on my dreams of scandalous water cooler conversation—having three friends, two of them men, will do that to a girl—when it becomes clear that, unbeknownst to me, I have created the biggest scandal in Evergreen since the death of my uncle. It runs in the family, I guess. The scandal in question? It pertains to Jasper Stevens, because lately I’m nothing without his lanky shadow following me around.

“Tell me everything,” Janie says immediately after clocking in, practically skidding around the corner with a crate of whole coffee beans in tow. She knows something I don’t.

I raise an eyebrow, nearly letting Joshy’s coffee cup overflow as I refill it from the pitcher. “Everything about what?”

Janie rolls her eyes. “Don’t be like that, Andie!”

I turn to Joshy, who’s sitting at the bar. “Do you know what she’s talking about?”

He nods, amused. “Moss,” he offers, though I can tell by his sage manner that I won’t be getting any more information from him.

“Oh, Jasper? What about him?”

Janie’s exaggerated groan tells me that she’s at least as starved for good gossip as I am, but I’m no less lost for it. She sets her crate down on the bar before turning to me and, in a voice like a kindergarten teacher’s, says: “Moss was in here the other day. You two left together. Tell me everything.”

“Moss never hangs out in town,” Joshy adds helpfully, “he’s like a cryptid.”

I nod. I think I get it now. And really, who am I to deny a fellow woman the joy of being entirely too invested in someone else’s business? It’s one of life’s purest joys. I assume the position: the one everyone knows, that invites others into your confidence. Elbows on the counter, leaning forward—come closer, I’ll tell you a secret. Janie follows suit, standing beside me with her ear trained toward me. Even Joshy leans in, eager to hear what I have to say. “Well,” I begin, “we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.”

“I knew it,” Janie hisses, slapping the counter.

“At first it was just coincidental, you know? But he started coming over once a week to change out his books and then—I don’t know, we’ve been hanging out. Am I crazy?”

Janie says “No” at the same time that Joshy says “Yes,” and I groan in protest. The couple stares at each other for a few moments, engaged in a silent stalemate. Without breaking eye contact, Joshy raises his hand. “Joshua,” I acknowledge.

“I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing,” he says, turning his gaze on me, “this is a really small town, Andie. You need to be completely sure before you make a move. Really weigh those pros and cons.”

“Oh my god, is that what you did before we started dating? You made a pros and cons list?” Janie says, whacking Joshy’s arm. “You know what?” She asks, as he dodges another blow, “Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.”

I put my head down on my arms and take a deep breath before coming back up. “Janie?”

“I think you have to go for it,” she says, “partly because I’m curious—I mean, being in a relationship with Moss, what would that even look like?—but mostly because I want you to be happy, and I think he could be the person to make that happen.”

“You think?”

“I think. Moss isn’t one of those guys you just casually hang out with, you know? He’s an acquired taste. You must get each other though,” she says thoughtfully, “anyway, you lured him into a public cafe, so that’s got to count for something.”

“What do you guys even talk about?” Joshy pipes up, “I mean, I love the guy, but he’s not a real conversationalist, you know what I mean?”

This gives me pause. What do we talk about? We talk about everything, so entirely that it feels like nothing. Like water flowing over rocks, or silk sliding across your skin. It’s unimpeded, uninterrupted even in our moments of silence. One long, continuous conversation. “Everything,” I say, “honestly, if I didn’t know he had a reputation I’d just think he was a run-of-the-mill introvert.”

“So weird,” Janie murmurs, “I mean, you know we all love him, he’s family. But like, the type of family who writes you a letter every five years from a different country, you know?”

“Yeah,” I sigh absently. I want to tell them about that night at the cabin, where he clasped my head to his chest and let his warm cologne breathe life back into my body. I want to tell them about the river, where his hand on my knee sealed my fate as his devoted acolyte. Hell, I want to tell them about how he exchanged War and Peace, unfinished, for The Hobbit because it’s summer and he “should be having fun.” But something about those stories feels too personal to share, like they’re just for us. Eyes on us would ruin the illusion, if that’s all it is.

“For what it’s worth,” Joshy says, “I haven’t seen him so…I don’t know, outgoing? Not for a good couple of years, at least.”

Janie nods, looking like she’s deep in thought. “Yeah. Yeah, come to think of it, he has been more talkative. He gave me a recipe for risotto the other day because he noticed I was buying rice.”

Risotto. Would you look at that. I rake a hand through my hair, wrenching my gaze from my companions as the front window is suddenly assaulted by a barrage of gigantic rain drops. Jesus, it’s like the sky’s got something to prove. I lament a moment for my sundress, which is sure to become a liability on my walk home assuming the storm doesn’t let up in the next ten minutes.

“You wanna head out?” Janie asks, seeing straight through me. “Go ahead, it’ll be dead until the rain stops.”

“Mmkay,” I reply, untying my apron, “call me if you need me.” It’s a formality. She won’t call.

The walk home is, as expected, a balmy torrent of rain that weighs on my dress and clings to my skin. I reflexively fold my arms around my body, but give up consciously after reminding myself that there’s no point. The rain is so all-encompassing it may as well be the air itself I’m passing through, soaking me to the bone. I’m inclined to shiver despite its slimy warmth, and I pick up the pace as I approach the cabin (the cabin which is still a The, caught in the limbo between a His and a My).

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. Soaked and saturated, on your front porch steps. Jasper Stevens rises to stand as I approach, unfolding his limbs and stretching like a cat. He passes through the downpour without so much as a blink.

“What are you doing here?” I call, jogging to meet him so we don’t have to yell above the rain. He’s got this look, like he’s faced some kind of ancient evil and accepted his fate.

“Last time it rained like this you had a panic attack,” he says. The rain’s numbed me to everything but his fingertips against the line of my cheekbone. He’s searching me for god knows what—labored breathing, signs of fatigue, I don’t know. It’s mortifying, and I would shrink from him if it didn’t mean he’d stop touching me.

“That wasn’t a panic attack, and it wasn’t because of the rain,” I say casually, taking a small step into his personal space. Janie’s words are circling me like vultures. She’s the devil on my shoulder, convincing me from afar that this man is the solution to my past, present, and future problems. As if sensing my line of thought, he freezes. His breath hitches in his throat for half a second before he continues as if nothing happened. “Why are you really here?”

“Andie…” he says softly, his voice melodic. Sweet and low, like dark brandy.

“Jasper,” I reply. Kiss me, damn it. I can’t be the first one to fold, I’m not the space alien here. Eyes. Lips. Eyes. Kiss me, Jasper Stevens.

I don’t notice the glide of his fingers across my skin until his thumb is brushing my lower lip. “I can’t…” he trails off. I’m about to roll my eyes or finish his sentence or both when he picks it back up: “I can’t be casual about this. If we do this, I mean.”

“What makes you think I want to be casual with you?” I ask. One of us is the Earth right now, pulling the other one in by some invisible gravitational force. I can’t tell if it’s me or him. What makes this man think that I, all of four inches from his face, want anything but his entire self? Here, moments from changing the very fabric of our relationship, I am more certain than ever that I want to immerse myself in him fully. I want us to change each other, I want to change us, I want us to remain exactly as we are. He looks entirely overwhelmed, and I want him to know that it’s really so simple. All he has to do is lean in, and it’ll all be crystal clear.

Jasper’s lips are soft, slightly parted as they brush across mine. A plea for entry, an experimental knock before turning the key he’s always held. I slide a hand over the back of his neck, fingers carding through his hair where the rain has curled it away from his skin. My other hand tangles with his somewhere to my right before eventually settling on his chest. His breath catches again, as if I’ve somehow caught him off-guard, and then he’s pulled me in by the waist and he’s kissing me—really—and it’s all I can do not to collapse into him. I can only hope that his thoughts are as blissfully simple as mine are in this moment: this is right this is right this is right.

[sitp-recs]

Do you have any recommendations or tags for stories that have a dramatic love declaration?

Of course! I listed below my absolute faves as they left a big impression when it comes to love confessions. Whenever I get asks about this I crave for a Grey’s Anatomy AU emulating this scene with Lexie *sigh* (I always think of Far From the Tree when I see it though…)

An Emerald In The Sky by @corvuscrowned (M, 6k)

The hardest part about shagging an Unspeakable is that they’re not allowed to speak of anything. All Draco knows is that Harry works in Time. Harry works in Time, and while he’s out there in all of that time, it is as unforgiving to him as it is to anyone.

The Eighth Tale by lettered (E, 12k)

Draco Malfoy tries to fix the past, but instead mucks it up some more. For Harry, it all becomes quite clear.

What Real Thing? by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (E, 12.6k)

They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

White as Snow by @bixgirl1 (E, 19k)

After a quick escape from danger, Harry and Draco find themselves trapped in a blizzard, a small cabin their only refuge from the storm. It's the perfect place to recover and regroup — and to have a long-overdue conversation or two.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by lettered (E, 54k)

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

We Are Young (I'll Carry You Home Tonight) by Femme (E, 68k)

Harry and Draco have been falling into bed on and off again since the last election five years ago, much to the amusement--and financial gain--of their circle of friends.

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (E, 70k)

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always.

Azoth by @lol-zeitgeistic (E, 88k)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (M, 131k)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

Dwelling on Dreams by @the-sinking-ship (E, 135k)

Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

These Secrets In Me by Femme (E, 357k) - part 3 of Tales from the Special Branch series

Auror Special Branch team seven-four-alpha--Sergeant Draco Malfoy, Constable Pansy Parkinson, and Constable Blaise Zabini led by their SIO, Inspector Harry Potter--must handle personal and political fallout from the implication of Ministry employees and Aurors in the scandal around escaped Death Eaters and a Dementor uprising at Azkaban. On top of that, their original target, Antonin Dolohov, is in the wind.