#Sidney crosby fanfic

[doc-pickles]

give it to me | sidney crosby

summary: Sidney is angry after a tough loss, so who better to take that frustration out on but you?

warnings: smut (oral m receiving, p in v unprotected, mild impact play, degradation, use of the word slut)

a/n: self indulgent crosby smut for smutmas! definitely didn’t decide to post this bc of the last two games… anyways enjoy!

xoxo

nina

“Fuck!”

The front door slams and you’re startled from your place on the couch. Setting your book down you listen to the sounds of bags being carelessly tossed onto the floor, shoes hitting the back of the hall closet, little grunts of frustration. 

You’d watched the game, you knew why Sid was pissed. But in truth, you’d never seen him this upset, never heard the frustration he emitted with one word, never had him slamming his bags down in anger. 

“Sid?” you stand from the couch just as he rounds the corner into the living room. He’s ditched his shoes and suit jacket but his posture is stiff, his shoulders tense as he stands before you. “Oh baby-“ 

Your words are cut off as Sidney takes a step forward, chest pressing to yours as his dark eyes scan your face. He’s pissed. Not with you, never with you, but you know in an instant that tonight you’ll be the one bearing the burden of his anger and the thought excites you. 

“What can I do to make it better,” you ask quietly, eyes still locked with Sid’s. 

“Strip.”

Silently you comply, your ratty sleep shirt and cotton shorts being tossed aside easily. You watch Sidney take a seat in the leather armchair in front of you as you tug your panties down, stepping out of them with his icy gaze locked on you. 

“On your knees for me, princess,” Sid’s voice is barely more than a growl as he unabashedly runs his eyes up and down your body. “C’mon show me how much of a slut you are for me.”

You kneel in front of Sid’s chair, wide eyes staring up at him. His fingers curl into your hair softly then pull. You gasp, Sidney using the opportunity to dip two fingers into your mouth. He doesn’t have to tell you what to do as you close your lips around his fingers and suck harshly. Satisfaction pulses through you as you swirl your tongue around and take his fingers deeper, his eyes going dark at the sensation. 

“Just like that,” Sid groans as you blink up at him. “Give it all to me, such a good girl on your knees for me.” 

With a tug on your hair, your chin is tilted up, Sidney’s fingers popping out of your mouth. He watches you for a moment before letting you go, hands going to his belt as he unbuckles it and unzips his pants. 

“C’mere, want to fuck your face,” Sid groans. “Want to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock.”

Not wanting to waste any time your hands fly to Sid’s pants, pushing them down just enough to free his already dripping dick. You wrap your hands around him, preening as his head drops back in a moan. With a smirk you lean forward, bringing him into your wet and waiting mouth. His hips thrust up and you moan around him at the feeling of his dick hitting the back of your throat.  

“Aren’t you a good little slut for me,” Sid pants out, eyes never leaving you as you work him with your mouth. “You’re taking me so well, so fucking good.”

You hollow your cheeks just as Sid thrusts his hips up again, taking him deep as he keeps up a fast pace. His hands grip your hair tightly as he fucks your face, tears streaming down your cheeks, “Choking on my dick, princess? You love it don’t you, bet you’re soaking wet right now.” 

Dipping your hand down you run two fingers through your dripping pussy then hold them out to Sid. He groans as he pulls your fingers into his mouth, sucking hard on the flesh as he tasted your juices. 

A gasp leaves you as Sidney moves his hands down to your hips and hauls you off his dick, placing you on his lap. 

“Ride me, princess.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You only give him a few tugs before lining yourself up with Sid’s cock, slowly taking him all in. Moans escape both of you as you take a moment to feel Sid inside of you. 

“So big… Fuck baby you stretch me so well,” you gasp out. “Holy fuck…”

Sid’s hand comes to deliver a harsh smack to your ass, another gasp coming from you at the painful and pleasurable feeling, “Stop fucking talking and ride my dick. Show me how much of a slut you are.”

You nod but Sidney shakes his head and grabs your face, pulling you closer to him, “I need words, baby.”

“Yes, sir,” you breathe out just as he thrusts up into you. “Ohhh-“

Another slap hits your ass and you whimper, taking Sidney’s punishing thrusts in stride. You keep up with his thrusts, grinding your hips down into his as you move as one. One of his hands comes to your waist while the other pulls your hair back, exposing your neck to him. His lips find purchase there, biting harshly before he soothes the spot with his tongue. 

“Need to show everyone how much of a slut you are,” Sidney whispers against your sweat-slicked skin. “Show them who you belong to. Who do you belong to baby?”

Sid snakes his hand on your waist down to where he’s thrusting into you and slowly rubs your clit. The sensation has you near tears as he watches you on his lap. 

“Answer me,” he growls. “Who does this pussy belong to?”

“You! Fuck only you, Sidney,” you cry out as he leans forward and sucks your nipple into his mouth. “Baby… So close…”

“You don’t come till I say you can,” he says in your ear, voice low and dangerous. “Okay?”

You nod and give an affirmative sound as Sid continues to thrust into you. Your fingers are digging into his shoulders, grinding into his hips to get that last bit of friction you need to trigger your orgasm. 

“So hungry for my dick, aren’t you baby? Fuck you’re so tight, riding me so well,” Sid’s words make a lewd moan fall from your lips as your hips meet his again. “C’mon princess, give it to me. Come with me.”

“Sid-“

“That’s it, baby, let me feel you clench around me,” he groans, pressing his face into your neck. “Milk my cock, it’s all for you princess.”

With a moan, you throw your head back as your orgasm rocks through you. Sid gives you a few more sloppy thrusts before he stills, teeth brushing against your pulse point as he holds you close to him. You both take a few minutes to catch your breath, clinging tightly to each other.

“Thank you, baby,” SId murmurs into your hair as his fingers dance along your back. “I’ll draw a bath?”

“I’ll pour the wine.”

[laurenairay]

I'm still haunted by the memories - S. Crosby

Summary: Maeva thought five years was long enough to get over Sidney breaking her heart. Apparently not.

Words: 5.5k

This is my fic for @senditcolton​’s birthday bingo! I chose the bingo squares ‘wedding season’, ‘It was always you’, ‘free space – argument scene’, ‘second chance romance’, and ‘interrupted kiss’. I haven’t written a full fic for Sid in ages, so I really hope you like this!

Warnings: angst, past break up scene, exes to (potential) lovers

Title: Little do you know, by Alex & Sierra

~

“What am I to you?”

“What?” Sidney asked, confused.

“What am I to you? What do I mean to you?”

“What’s going on, Maeva?” he asked, frowning.

“Can you just answer my question please?”

Sidney frowned even more at the sharpness of her voice. “You’re my girlfriend. I love you. What’s going on?”

“You love me?”

“Yes! Mae, seriously…”

She could tell he was getting frustrated now, but that didn’t settle the gnawing feeling in her stomach.

“We’ve been together five years now. I love you more than I thought could’ve ever loved anyone. Five years of cheering you on no matter what. Five years of supporting you and the team and all the better halves as they’ve come and gone. Five years of always coming second but putting on a smile because I know hockey is your whole world. But I thought I would’ve at least had a part of it?”

“I don’t understand what you mean. Of course you’re part of my world,” Sidney said, confused.

Was he really going to be that cruel, to pretend he didn’t know what she meant?

“At the team get together this weekend, when we celebrated the latest Pens rookie getting engaged, someone joked to you about when you were going to put a ring on my finger too. But you just snorted and changed the subject…”

She trailed off, watching Sidney’s face pale a little bit, his reaction sinking like a stone in her stomach.

“I don’t…where did you hear that?”

“I was right behind you, Sid. I was right there and Kris & Cath saw me but you didn’t. They sent me pitying smiles and I hated it, Sid. Why don’t you want a life with me?” Maeva asked, her voice finally cracking as tears threatened to spill.

“We already have a life together. Why do we need to complicate it?”

“Complicate it? You think marriage is just a complication?” she shot back.

“I just don’t see why we need to put a label on things. We’ve got a good thing going,” Sidney huffed.

“Labels? Are you kidding me? I’m nearly 30, Sid, and all I have to show for the thing I’ve poured my heart into for five years is a couple of photos on your cup days? You won’t take me out in public, you don’t talk about me to anyone outside of your team and your immediate family, you can clearly drop me at any moment…are you ashamed of our relationship? Have I been wasting my time?”

“Damn it Mae, I’m not ashamed! I thought you understood that I like my privacy!”

That’s all he took out of it?

“I know you value it, Sid, but I didn’t think it would get to this point. I didn’t think you would go this far. I’m tired of being an afterthought to you!”

“And I’m tired of you being so insecure!”

Her breath hitched in her throat as a pang of hurt rang through her chest, and she could see a flash of regret immediately pass over Sidney’s face.

“Maeva…”

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore, Sid. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated and there is nothing wrong with wanting to know that I have a future to look forward to. Because apparently I don’t. Who knew that Sidney Crosby was such a commitment-phobe?”

~

Maeva glanced out of the airplane window, hazy memories passing through her mind as the plane started its decent into Halifax airport. It didn’t seem like it had been five years since her life with Sidney had fallen apart, almost as long as their just-over-five-years relationship. But the memories of that awful night still burned her heart like a hot poker. She may have left him that night, may have returned to Canada, but she hadn’t been able to move back to Nova Scotia. She’d tried, sure, but she’d only lasted a few months before the memories of their time there together was too much to bear too. It had felt right to flee to the other side of Canada, all the way to Vancouver where she was able to secure an apartment and a job where no-one knew who she was. Maeva had only visited her parents a few times in the five years since – and only when she knew he absolutely wouldn’t be there.

Everything had just hurt too much. It still did.

But now, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she was heading back to Cole Harbour in the summer. Her cousin Natasha was getting married, and her aunt had begged Maeva to come home to join her parents in attending. If it wasn’t for the fact that she and Natasha had grown up as close as sisters, Maeva would’ve found an excuse somehow – but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. All she had to do was survive the long weekend. It was late Thursday evening that she’d flown over, leaving Friday for wedding errands, Saturday for the pre-wedding celebrations, and Sunday for the wedding day itself - both ceremony and reception. She’d managed to book a flight home at midday on Monday, but she knew that this weekend was going to be a test of her strength.

Maeva had done so well to protect her heart for so long, and she didn’t want a few days back in Cole Harbour to ruin it.

It didn’t take long for her to pick up her suitcase and head to the arrivals area, a small smile crossing her lips at the sight of her dad waiting for her. Maeva could happily admit that she was a daddy’s girl, through and through, the two of them having the only blonde hair in the family, his quiet calm aura always making her feel happy and secure. That was one of the only things she regretted about not toughing it out in Cole Harbour – she didn’t get to spend the time with her dad that he deserved.

She made a mental note not to take that for granted this weekend.

“My little Maeva,” he said gruffly, warmth seeping into every word as he hugged her tightly.

“It’s good to see you. I’m…I’m sorry it’s been so long,” she murmured when they eventually separated.

“Oh don’t you worry about that. I’m just glad you’re home for the wedding. Lord knows I need a little more sanity in the house.”

Maeva just snickered, looping her arm through her dad’s as they started to walk out to the parking lot. “Mom’s succumbed to wedding fever then?”

“Happily skipped into crazy town, more like it,” he grinned, “I don’t think I can survive another day of folding bits of paper into little birds to decorate the tables.”

Maeva just grimaced, making her dad laugh. That sounded like her idea of nightmare chaos. “Any chance we can avoid most of the wedding prep tomorrow?”

Her dad just smiled indulgently. “Oh I’m sure I can figure something out.”

She really had missed him.

~

Just as her dad had promised, he managed to get the two of them out of the intense wedding preparations that the family were taking part in on Friday. The two of them went out for a long breakfast in the morning, before her mom could bundle her into the car and over to her aunt’s, and after a slow walk by the waterside, telling him all about her life in Vancouver and her small circle of friends and her low-key retail managerial career, they eventually made their way back to the house. Her mom was annoyed with them both, Maeva knew that much, but she couldn’t stay mad at Maeva for long, not really when she knew exactly why her only daughter never came home – and Maeva made up for it by ironing her dad’s shirt for the wedding and steaming his suit, her mom’s dress, and her own dress, while her father shined his shoes to her mom’s satisfaction.

There would be enough time to apologise to her cousin on Saturday during the welcome lunch up at Hatfield Farm, where 30 close family and friends would be staying overnight ahead of the wedding on Sunday (with the same 30 staying on the Sunday night). Thankfully the venue was only a 40 minute drive from her family home in Cole Harbour, so she would have plenty of time to make her flight back to Vancouver on the Monday.

She just had to get through the weekend first. One step at a time.

Saturday morning was as chaotic as Maeva thought it would be. Her mom had the three of them loading up her dad’s car like a military operation, checklist on clipboard included, to make sure that nothing was left behind, especially as their part of the family was in charge of the table centrepieces and fairy lights for decorating the reception hall. Once all of that, and their wedding outfits (and shoes and accessories) were ready, along with their overnight bags, it was coming close to midday, and with a picnic basket full of snacks and drinks for the little cabin that the three of them would be staying in, they hit the road.

Despite everything, it made Maeva smile as she recognised the other cars on their journey, all of them making their way to Hatfield Farm like a miniature invasion. The curse of a small town.

It didn’t take long to sort out the accommodation keys, and once Maeva had hung up her dress for the wedding (at her mom’s request to reduce wrinkles), she sprayed a little perfume and fluffed up her blonde hair before rejoining her parents.

“Ready to face the circus?” her dad grinned.

“Honestly,” her mom tutted, elbowing him.

But even she gave Maeva a worried glance.

“I’ll be fine. Cole Harbour may be a small town, but it’s not like Sidney can pop up everywhere,” Maeva said, trying to convince herself as much as them. “It’ll be good to celebrate Natasha’s happy day.”

“Atta girl,” her dad said gruffly.

Her mom just nodded, threading her fingers through her dad’s to silently lead them across the grounds to the main reception hall, where the welcome lunch was being held. They weren’t the last people there, not by any means, but they definitely weren’t the first. Maeva could see her cousin walking towards them with a big smile on her face, dressed in a gorgeous peach dress and looking radiant with happiness, and that joy was infectious.

Until Maeva glanced across the other side of the room, that is.

The sound of her breath catching in her throat was enough to make her parents look in the same direction, and her unflappable dad scowled in a way she’d never seen before.

“What is he doing here?” her dad asked lowly, lips pursing as he turned back to look at her cousin.

Natasha glanced over and cursed under her breath. “Sid wasn’t meant to be arriving until later. I was meant to have enough time to give you a warning, Maeva. Carl invited him but wasn’t sure if he could make it – they’ve been friends since they were kids.”

“Curse of a small town,” she murmured, her smile shaky.

She glanced back at him, thankful that he hadn’t noticed her looking yet, her heart racing in a way that made her feel sick as she took him in. Sidney looked good, of course he did. Broad shoulders, giant ass, and thick thighs filling out his suit so perfectly, hair dusted with grey in a way that only made him look distinguished. He was standing sideways, talking with Nate (of course Nate was here too) and a couple of other guys from their hometown, and as he laughed, head thrown back, the sound of his ridiculous honking giggle made her want to cry.

She wasn’t ready. How could she think she was ready?

Her mom subtly took her hand in hers, squeezing gently to reassure her, only making her dad curse under his breath again.

“Hey, you’re my cousin. If him being here is going to ruin your weekend, I can kick him out. I don’t care if his name is on the town sign – you are family,” Natasha said firmly, voice still quiet.

Tears stung at her eyes slightly at her cousin’s care, but she shook her head. No, no she had to face being in Cole Harbour at the same time as him at some point. She wasn’t going to let him ruin things, not this time. “It’s been five years. I’ll survive.”

Natasha just frowned, taking Maeva’s free hand in her own.

“You just say the word and he’s gone, okay? I haven’t had a chance to be bridezilla yet,” she said, grinning sharply.

Maeva laughed a little wetly, shaking her head again, squeezing Natasha’s hand and her mom’s to say thank you silently.

“Everything will be fine. There will be enough people here that you can just avoid him!” her mom said, smiling.

Maeva didn’t need to look at her dad as he huffed to know that just wouldn’t happen. But still, she had to believe it was possible or she wasn’t even going to make it through today. She could avoid him as much as possible – there was only so much her heart could handle.

“Drinks?” Natasha suggested.

“Hell yes,” Maeva sighed.

Drinks, then setting up the reception hall with the fairy lights, and bringing in all of the table centrepieces ready for the venue staff to set up in the morning. Then maybe some more drinks. She could handle that.

When she eventually went to sleep close to midnight, her heart was aching in the worst way – Maeva hadn’t expected to actually be able to avoid Sidney, but she also hadn’t expected to feel his eyes trailing her around the room for the entire day.

And she was dreading tomorrow even more, now that she knew he would be there.

~

Breakfast in the morning was a communal affair. The wedding ceremony wasn’t until 2pm, and the staff at Hatfield Farm were putting on a breakfast spread for all the guests from 7-9am, so Maeva was making good use of it, knowing she wouldn’t eat for hours after this. Her dress was a flowy one thankfully, so she didn’t have to worry about carb bloating – it was one of the reasons she’d chosen it, along with the fact at it was light and airy enough for the warm weather and a gorgeous shimmery gold colour that complimented her wonderfully. And it didn’t conflict with the beautiful lilac and cream wedding colours either, which was a bonus.

Her parents had already eaten and headed back to the accommodation, leaving Maeva to finish her orange juice in peace. Still, being back in Cole Harbour after all this time, surrounded by people that she’d left behind in her efforts to leave him behind…it was almost too much, and she found herself stepping outside for some air to clear her head.

One more day.

She could make it one more day.

But the moment that she heard footsteps walking over to her, she knew her luck had run out.

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to get you alone.”

Hello to you too, Sidney.

“Why would you even want to?” Maeva said, voice cold and polite as she turned to face him.

Sidney just winced. “Mae, come on, you know why.”

Oh screw him. Shortening her name like he used to, playing with her emotions like that? No.

“No, Sidney, I don’t know why,” she said shortly, “We broke up five years ago, almost as long ago as the whole length of our relationship was – so what could you possibly have to say to me?”

“Please don’t be like this. I’m trying to apologise,” he said, frowning.

“Apologise for what, exactly?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.

Sidney just huffed out a frustrated breath, putting his coffee mug down on a nearby table.

“Maeva, I’m serious. I’m trying to be the bigger person here and-”

“Are you kidding me? The bigger person? Our relationship ended because you couldn’t commit, Sidney, and you’re talking about being the bigger person like I’ve done something wrong?” she said angrily,

The nerve. What the hell.

“If you would just listen to me…”

“Listen to what? What could you possibly have to say to me?” she spat, cutting him off again.

“If you’d stop interrupting me then I could actually say it!” he shot back, shades away from shouting.

“Uh, guys?”

Maeva looked sharply to the left, seeing Nate standing there awkwardly looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“What, Nate?” Sidney said shortly, cheeks flushed.

“Uh, your mom is looking for you, Maeva,” he explained, grimacing.

“Thanks. We were done here anyway,” Maeva said coldly.

“No we…”

But she just stormed away, not letting Sidney finish, ignoring the hissed conversation between the two men, trying desperately to keep her composure until she was alone. Just as Nate said, her mom was glancing around, and the moment that she spotted her, her face fell.

“Let’s get back to the rooms to get ready, yes?” her mom said, pasting a smile on her face.

It was all Maeva could do to nod, letting her mom usher her along, the fire in her chest from their building argument fizzling away into an all-consuming black hole of sadness. Why would he confront her like that? Why would he want to unsettle her like that after all these years? She would never have thought of him as cruel, but this…this was the last thing she needed. Those few minutes were everything she’d been trying to avoid, and the wedding hadn’t even officially start yet – how was she going to make it through the rest of the day?

The moment that their cabin door was shut behind them, her mom whirled around to face her.

“Maeva, sweetie, what happened?”

She opened her mouth to explain, but all that she managed to do was start crying, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her mom let out an uncharacteristic curse, cradling her in her arms, only making Maeva sob harder. This is why she never came home. This is exactly why.

She didn’t know how long it took for her to calm down, for her sobbing and tears to fade to sniffles, and she was just glad that her mom hadn’t changed into her wedding outfit yet.

“Give me the word and I will get laxatives put in his drinks. I know people,” her mom said seriously.

Maeva choked out a laugh, smiling shakily at her mom’s attempt to cheer her up, but shook her head.

“It was stupid. Just stupid. I wish he wasn’t here but I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of leaving,” Maeva said sadly.

“You’re a braver woman than I am,” her mom said, huffing out a laugh.

“Nah, I get it from you, eh?”

Her mom just smiled shakily, giving her another quick hug before pulling back to rest her hands on her shoulders.

“Let’s get ready for this wedding. Have a shower and then I’ll help you with your hair,” her mom said firmly.

Maeva just smiled, nodding her head, heading towards her room as she heard the shower stopping. By the time she’d gathered her towels and underwear, her dad was back in the room he shared with her mom, leaving her to shower quickly. Leaving her with her swirling thoughts.

Even though minutes ago her blood was boiling with his audacity, her heart still ached for him. Up close the grey in his hair looked even better than she’d thought, the slight laughter lines around his eyes only adding to his appeal. His voice was a smooth as she remembered, his figure just as broad and overwhelming compared to her slight frame as it always had been. Even his intensity, his emotion, was exactly as she remembered, sending shivers down her spine.

She missed him.

And she hated it as much as she loved it.

She loved him. Even as much as she wished she didn’t.

It didn’t take her long to do her make up and put on her dress, and she blow-dried her hair to the point where it was manageable by the time her mom knocked on her bedroom door.

“Oh sweetie, you look beautiful,” her mom said, voice earnest and sweet.

Maeva just grinned back at her, twirling on the spot to watch her golden dress flare in the mirror.

Her mom laughed, rolling her eyes fondly as she guided Maeva to sit down on the end of the bed. She expertly twisted half of her hair up into an elegant bun, fixing it in place with a couple of bobby pins and a ribbon that matched the gold of her dress, leaving the rest of her hair to flow down her back in blonde waves. It was simple but refined, and she felt pretty the moment she looked in the mirror.

“Thanks mom. Let’s do this thing.”

“That’s my girl.”

~

The wedding was beautiful. Maeva didn’t know what else she expected though, if she was being honest. Natasha looked ethereal as she glided down the aisle, her fiancé crying a little when he saw her, and the two of them didn’t stop smiling at each other the whole ceremony. Maeva kept her eyes on them the whole time, even though she could feel eyes on her throughout the hour – she knew exactly who they belonged to, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t, not at a wedding she knew she would never have.

All the guests moved into the reception hall, sitting at their assigned tables, Maeva sitting between her parents with each of them holding one of her hands like they didn’t want her to disappear. She could only imagine what her mom her told her dad about her breakdown this morning, but that was the last thing she wanted to think about right now. All through the wedding speeches Maeva sipped on her champagne, laughing at the appropriate moments, tearing up at her uncle’s heartfelt words, cheering the toasts to the new bride and groom. She could barely remember what she ate when the food came and went, but she dutifully ate under the watchful eye of her mom, making small talk with the other members of their table, answering politely to questions about her life in Vancouver, 6000km feeling even further away than ever before.

By the time the additional guests joined them all for the evening reception, Maeva was well on her way to being overwhelmed, but she joined the circle of people on the dancefloor to watch Natasha and her new husband in their first dance.

Just as the music started, a familiar figure stepped up next to her. Maeva froze, desperately trying to think of how to make a subtle exit, but Sidney gently pressed a flute of champagne into her hand.

“This is an apology drink,” he murmured. “I should never have lost my temper with you this morning.”

Not here. Not now.

She didn’t know what her face was showing as she glanced up at him but Sidney’s face just looked sad.

“Can we talk after their first dance finishes? Please?” he begged softly.

There was something in his voice that made her façade crack.

“Fine.”

She didn’t dare take her eyes off of Natasha and her husband for the rest of the dance, sipping the champagne flute, waiting until people started joining them on the dancefloor to slip away, Sidney subtly following her. Just off the side of the venue was a small courtyard, separated from the rest of the outside space by a trellis of flowers, just enough to give them a semblance of privacy.

Maeva put down the glass as Sidney joined her, wrapping her arms around herself partly as a guard, partly as comfort, her ex-boyfriend standing in front of her looking just as overwhelming as he always had.

“Thank you for agreeing to talk to me,” he started, smiling a little.

“What did you want to talk about, Sid?” she sighed.

“I messed up all those years ago,” he murmured.

No, no she couldn’t do this.

“Sidney I can’t,” she interrupted, shaking her head.

“Please, please just let me finish,” he begged.

She just bit her bottom lip, glancing away from him briefly to steel herself, before nodding.

“I have spent five years trying to think about what I would say if I ever got the chance to see you again. Five years playing the conversation over and over again in my head, going through every scenario, and right now in this moment, none of it is coming to my head,” he said softly.

That was so typically Sid.

“Forget what’s in your head. What’s in your heart?” she found herself saying.

He huffed out a laugh, nodding his head.

“I love you, Maeva,” he said, tears glistening in his eyes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh god this was the last thing she’d been expecting.

He still loved her?

“Do you love me too? Is there any chance that you still love me?” he asked desperately.

He still loved her?

Running on pure instinct, Maeva choked out a sob as she leaned up and kissed him, hands clutching at his shirt.

Of course she still loved him.

Sidney didn’t hesitate as he kissed her slowly back, cradling her face with both hands, pouring everything into the embrace. Maeva’s head swirled as her blood surged and her heart raced…and then a couple of wedding guests stumbled outside too, clearly drunk. They were mostly giggling and falling into themselves, so they didn’t notice Sidney and Maeva springing apart, and as they stumbled around the corner Sidney quickly took one of Maeva’s hands in his, breaking her out of her frozen state of shock.

“You still love me?” Sidney asked hopefully.

“That was so stupid. I shouldn’t have…we shouldn’t have…”

His face fell.

“Please don’t run away. Please don’t leave me, not again,” Sidney begged, interrupting her rambling words.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this.

“We can’t just go back to how things were, Sid,” Maeva said sadly, “We’re different people now, we’ve both changed.”

“Then let me get to know you again. And you can get to know me,” Sidney said desperately, “We still love each other – isn’t that enough?”

Maeva’s face must’ve looked as incredulous as she felt, because he squeezed her hand a little tighter, eyes burning with intensity. She remembered that look. It still had the same effect on her, knowing that Sidney was leading up to something heart achingly earnest.

“You are right, I’ve changed – I’m not the same man I was before. I made the biggest mistake of my life taking you for granted, letting you go when I should’ve fought for us, and I regretted it the moment I realised you’d truly left. My stupid pride kept me from reaching out to you in the first few weeks, and when I got over myself, it was too late.”

“Sidney…” she murmured.

“No-one would tell me where you went. Your parents wouldn’t talk to me, or to my mom. Your friends blocked my number. All Taylor could find out was that you were in Cole Harbor for a few months before you left for good and that you’ve barely been back since. I searched for you, for any sign of you, wherever I went and it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”

“Sidney,” she repeated, tears stinging her eyes.

“I am so sorry, Mae. I love you. I always have – it was always you. It was always going to be you, and I’ve spent five years regretting every single moment of that stupid fight and everything I did leading up to it. As selfish as it is, I can only hope that no-one else has your heart. Can you ever forgive me?”

Maeva swallowed heavily, letting go of his hand to run shaky fingers through her hair in an effort to compose herself. This was everything she’d ever dreamed of hearing from him and it was also everything she’d dreaded. She’d spent so long in therapy building up her walls, repairing her heart, learning how to heal herself and protect herself from falling into this kind of heartbreak again.

But she loved him.

She loved him so deeply that she didn’t know how she could ever stop. Sidney Crosby was so intrinsically part of her that she knew that, being honest with herself, she didn’t know what a life without him looked like. It was one of the main things she still talked about with her therapist, her inability to accept anyone new into her heart, and she knew deep down that no-one would ever replace him, not truly.

But was she ready to just fall back into his arms.

“I don’t know if I can,” she said softly, and wow wasn’t the devastated look on his face heartbreaking? “I want to, Sid, but I have spent years trying to move on from you and I don’t think I can handle going through what we did again.”

Sidney let out a shaky breath, smiling sadly as his eyes shined with tears. “The last thing I want is to hurt you. I just…I want to show you that I’ve changed. I want to show you all of the love that I should’ve shown you five years ago. You deserve that much. You should have someone love you in every single way that you absolutely deserve.”

“Sidney…” was all she could murmur again.

Maybe it was her lack of refusal, or the softness in her voice, but Sidney took one of her hands again, squeezing it gently.

“I know that we have separate lives now. I know that you have created something wonderful for yourself without me. But all I’m asking for is a chance to start over,” he said softly.

“But how would that work with you in Pittsburgh and me in Vancouver?”

“You’re a Canucks fan now?” he grimaced.

Of course that was his priority. Still, she found herself choking out a laugh, shaking her head as Sidney flushed a little with shame. “I haven’t watched hockey since I left Pittsburgh. Vancouver was just the furthest I could get away and still be in Canada.”

The look that passed over his face was a curious mix of sadness, regret, and frustration, before it settled into the determination she’d known for years.

“Can I call you?”

“What?” she asked, frowning.

“Can I call you?” he repeated. “I’m still not on social media, other than whatever the team makes us do. I’m getting better at texting. Emails are so-so. But I would love to talk to you, to hear your voice. I miss you, so much.”

How did he know exactly what to say to make her heart cry out?

“Sidney, come on,” she pleaded, trying to ignore the lump rising in her throat.

But he didn’t back down.

“Tell me no, Maeva. Tell me no, and I will walk away. You know I’m not that guy – no means no, and if you mean it then I will never bother you again,” he said seriously.

“You know I can’t,” she murmured.

Sidney just let out a shaky breath, squeezing her hand again as a smile hopeful smile crept across his lips.

“So let me call you. We can start with baby steps. I know you have a life in Vancouver now…but I just want to be part of it. I wasted five years of my life without you because I was an idiot who didn’t appreciate the incredible woman I had – all I want is another chance. Do you love me?”

He really was devastating, wasn’t he?

“Do you love me?” he repeated, running his thumb over her knuckles.

“I do love you. I don’t think I know how to stop,” she said, feeling like an idiot but smiling anyway.

Sidney just smiled like he couldn’t believe his luck, and slowly lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently, keeping his gaze locked on hers.

“I love you, Maeva,” he murmured.

He kissed her hand again before gently lowering it back down to their sides, so much emotion in his face that Maeva didn’t know what else she could possibly do.

“You can call me. I’m making no promises, but you can call me,” she said softly.

The smile that spread across his face made her heart soar for the first time in years.

~

Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep? Little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories? Little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece? Little do you know I need a little more time?

Oh wait, just wait, I love you like I've never felt the pain, Just wait, I love you like I've never been afraid, Just wait, our love is here, is here to stay, So lay your head on me.

[drewsbuzzcut]

Roughed up

sidney crosby x fem!reader

warnings: smut smut smut (curse words, teasing,rough sex, cream pie, cum play, squirting)

Your body was rigid as you watched Sidney push at the other player. It wasn’t usual to see Sidney being rough. You only got more concerned when he was ejected from the game. For the first time in his long career, he got thrown out, and it was kind of hot. It was going to be interesting when he got home.

You tuned out the game, and made a quick dinner for Sidney when he eventually got home, although you’re not sure how he’ll be when he returns. He’ll either be moody or disappointed with himself, or a little of both.

You were changing into your pjs (panties and one of Sidney’s shirts) and doing your skincare routine when you heard the front door open followed by the thump of his hockey bag hitting the ground. Walking out to the living room, you find him with his head leaning against the door, his breathing is heavy. You walk over to him and put your hand on his back to let him know that you were behind him. He turns to face you with his hands already placed on the small of your back. Looking into his eyes you can see that he’s still a bit pissed. You let your lips twist into a slight smirk, your fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You okay?” You ask, kissing his chin softly, trying to melt his hard exterior to get him to loosen up a bit.

“I’m still pissed,” he says stoically.

“Why?” You ask, almost innocently. You’re trying to rile him up only because you’re amused at the whole situation. You know you shouldn’t be, but it was rare seeing this side of Sidney and boy did it turn you on.

You make sure to frown and part your lips in confusion. In return, Sidney scoffs and takes a step or two back away from you.

“What do you mean ‘why’? I got my ass thrown out the damn game on a shit call,” sid exasperates.

You try not to make the gleam in your eyes noticeable as you bring your body closer to his, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“I asked because you were so sexy out there being all rough and mad,” you tell him and nip at the shell of his ear.

The way he immediately tightens his grip on your hips lets you know that you got him right where you want him.

“It’s nothing to be amused about,” he states.

“Sure it is. I don’t care it was hot as fuck,” you tilt your head to let him know you’re not changing your mind.

“You shouldn’t care either. It was your first time getting ejected, ever,” you continue.

“That’s exactly why I should care! I’m mad and I have every right to be!”

He’s mad and sexy.

You pretend to mull over what he said. Too turned on to realize that when you pressed your legs together to have some kind of contact, Sidney noticed. Now he knew why you were being nonchalant about everything.

“You’re right. You should be mad, and you should take your anger out… on me,” you say kissing all over his neck and making sure to nip and lick certain spots all while you raise a leg to be set on his hip.

All it takes is one particularly hard bite on his pulse point, and he’s lifting you up to carry you while you have a heated makeout.

It’s messy, so fucking messy but it’s so good. You’re pulling at his hair while the both of your tongues tangle together. Your hips keep grinding against him in search of some contact, and his big hands are massaging your ass. The sounds of your lips smacking together and moans fill the silence. Sidney pulls back and lets one of his hands pull at your hair which makes your head tilt back. He then starts attacking your neck with soft suckles. The moans and gasps are flying out of your mouth left and right. You’re so wet and Sidney can feel it through your underwear and the button up he’s wearing.

“Fuck me. Hard.”

Sidney doesn’t need convincing. Your body is being slammed into the wall and his strong upper body is enough to hold you up. He pulls his suit pants down with the help of you undoing his belt, and then you move to unbutton his dress shirt, just wanting him to be in his naked glory. Once he’s mostly naked, he moves your hands so that they’re pinned to the wall and kisses the soul out of you.

“Touch me, baby,” you say into the kiss.

He lets go of your hands and they move to rest around his neck. Your legs are still wrapped around his hips and your back is firmly against the wall. Your breathing gets heavy when you see him pull out his hard cock, anticipating him filling you up. He guides his member to your core, nudging the head against your clit. You automatically let out a slew of moans and curses. He continues his movements for a few minutes and then he’s moving so that his whole shaft is rubbing against your heat, teasing you until you’re near tears. There’s a cocky smirk on his face; he knows he’s making you wetter than ever. He can feel your slickness all over him.

“Sidney, fuck me!” You demand, nails digging into the skin of his neck.

Your head is already so far in the clouds and you haven’t even orgasmed yet. Each time his length slips in between your folds, your hips rise as if it’ll make him enter you faster. You feel his spit drip onto your pussy and it makes you quiver. You’re closer to getting what you what. When you think he’s about to thrust into you, you’re surprised to feel that it’s two of his fingers. While his fingers are long and thick, they’re not long or thick enough to settle your craving. However, you forget about that craving when his fingertips hit your sweet spot repeatedly. You’re withering in his hold, trying to escape and savor the feeling at the same time. The sounds of your sopping core are enough to tease Sidney, getting him to finally give in and fuck you.

You’re nearly screaming when he drives his cock into you. Your grip on his shoulders tightens and you try to throw your head back as far as the wall behind you will let you. His body is grinding into yours and the feel of his abs only adds to the sensations surrounding you.

“Just like that.”

“Fuck. You’re so big.”

“Harder.” You chant out. It only spurs Sidney on.

He fondles your boob with the one hand that isn’t holding you up, and even though you’re still clothed, it doesn’t stop it from feeling amazing. His pace speeds up and you’re so close to cumming. Sidney knows this so he rapidly thrusts in and out of you while circling your clit, and it doesn’t take you long to combust.

Your moans are sweet and loud. You don’t let your high take over because you need to be pressed to Sid in every way. You wrap your arms around him and wrap your legs tighter around his hips, sealing your lips to his. It’s a heavy kiss, but it’s still sweet; your silent appreciation for the orgasm. It’s not over, though, Sidney still hasn’t cum and if he’s going to cum anywhere, it’s going to be inside you. To keep things from ending too quickly, he starts to finger you again.

You lift your hips with each thrust of his fingers, dying to reach another orgasm. He notices your eyes starting to brim with tears, and he leans in to kiss you on your neck. His fingers start moving faster and he even lets his thumb start to do figure 8s on your clit.

“More,” you beg with a whine.

This makes him enter a third finger inside you. Your body tightens at the new stretch in your pussy, you’re so close to your second orgasm. 3 more caresses against your g-spot and you’re doused in flames. Your body slightly shivers at the sensitivity as Sidney has yet to remove his fingers. There’s no pause in Sidney’s movements; he knows that if you couldn’t handle it, you’d say something. The rapid thrusts of his cock bring you back down to earth. He holds your body against the wall by the lower part of your legs. This means your back is flat on the wall, your knees are pushed to your chest and held there by his hands as he fucks into you.

“Sid. Sid. Sid. Sid.” You cry out.

Lips pressed against his cheek, so he feels every vibration coming from your moans and shrieks.

At one point your body is so lax, you start leaning to the side, almost falling but Sidney is quick to catch you.

“You’re so tight. You like when I fuck you like this?” They’re the first words Sidney has spoken in a while, but they do wonders for progressing your incoming orgasm.

His thrusts are so fast and hard, the thumping against the wall almost drowns out every moan, and the picture frames hanged on the wall are close to falling off. When he squeezes your nipples you’re coming with a loud gasp, and you tremble which causes you to squeeze your walls around Sid, making him finally paint your walls. The sweat covering both of your bodies would usually make this situation uncomfortable, but if you’re honest, you’re covered in more than sweat.

Sidney lets you breathe for a minute. A minute in which you feel your mixed cum draining from you. The shirt you were wearing finally comes off, thanks to Sidney. And even though you’re supposed to be catching your breathe, you get distracted by the wet mouth encasing your nipple. The suction around the hard bud has you bucking your hips, making a mess on sid’s bare stomach. When he catches a glimpse of his cream pie dripping, he’s quick to push it back into you with one finger.

“Ughh fuck!”

Thinking you’re done, you try to let your feet hit the floor, but Sidney just moves you away from the wall and adjusts his hold so that he’s holding you from under your knees. He gives you this look, a look saying that he wasn’t done, so you guide his length back into you. As soon as you do, your tears are falling. Not in pain but in overstimulation.

His thrusts are unending and rough. You have to grip onto the back of his neck with one hand, the other too busy scratching down his chest.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Fuck! Harder baby, harder,” you scream out. Hopefully your neighbors weren’t home because if they were, they’d be hearing everything.

He bounces you up and down his thick length, the veins dragging along your walls sends you into orbit. You pull on his chain so that his lips land on yours, but his cock nudging your sweet spot, makes it almost impossible for you to be quiet. You can’t even focus on kissing him properly.

The moment you feel his cum spurt into you, you’re cumming as well. The circles being pressed into your bundle of nerves has you squirting; not a lot but enough to wet Sidney. Your moans aren’t stopping anytime soon, too blissed out to comprehend anything. Your body is shaking so much that Sidney is now holding you tightly. He has one arms under your ass and one holding onto your neck. Little kisses are delivered to your lips to try to get you to come down, but you’re too numb to feel his lips.

It takes about 5 minutes for you to even out your breathing, and when you do, you finally give Sidney a long, passionate kiss. 5 minutes wasn’t long enough. When he sets you on your own legs, your body jolts and your legs are jelly. He’s quick to support your body, having you lean against him.

“Are you okay?” He questions in concern.

“That was the best sex we’ve ever had, but I think my legs are dead. I don’t think I will be able to function,” you state with slight whine, earning a chuckle from your man.

His chuckle makes you smile.

“C’mon let’s get you cleaned up and into bed,” he says into your hair and slaps your ass, making you almost fall.

“Not cool,” you whine.

“I love you.”

“I love you more. I don’t care if you got ejected from the game, you’re still one of the best players and captains to ever grace the nhl,” your words are laced in confidence, knowing that he needs to hear this.

He gives you an appreciative nod and kisses you like he’s never kissed you before; kissing you and kissing you like he never wants to stop and he doesn’t want to stop.

You spend the rest of the night cuddled in bed, in his arms. Talking and teasing each other light heartedly, and you listen to him as he expresses his thoughts about the game and what happened. And if he ends up making you cum on his tongue, well, you won’t be complaining.

a/n: Thiswas just a random thought that I couldn’t get out of my head. I’m not really great at writing smut, so hopefully this wasn’t terrible. Hope y’all enjoy! Also, happy Valentine’s Day lovelies!

[miracleonice87]

Lavender Haze with my favorite lovie aka Sidney Crosby 🥹🥹

from m's midnights prompt list

warnings: online / social media bullying, swearing, implied 10 year age gap between Sid (age 36) and reader insert (age 26)

word count: ~4,100

1. Lavender Haze: “Staring at the ceiling with you / Oh, you don’t ever say too much / And you don’t really read into my melancholia / I been under scrutiny / You handle it beautifully / All this shit is new to me” 

---

“Alright, guys, thanks for your patience today – everybody did a great job with media today and all year, and now you finally get a break for a couple months,” Jen told the team with a smirk, earning a few stray whoops and hollers from around the locker room, the loudest from one Evgeni Malkin. It went without saying that locker room clean-out day was one of his favorite days of the year. Many of the guys thanked Jen in return as they packed up the remnants of their lockers and prepared to head to their respective homes for the summer. “Have a great offseason, call me if you need me, and I’ll see you guys in August,” she added as she did one last pass through the semi-circle of stalls, then stopped at the last one before the exit.

“Sid, can you stop by my office before you head out, please?” she asked, softly enough that only the veteran superstar could hear as he bent over his hockey bag. 

He stood up straight in front of his stall and nodded slowly. Jen gave him an oddly tight smile that felt forced before turning to walk out the dressing room doors. 

What was that all about…

Sidney’s brows knit together slightly as he wondered why she had addressed him so seriously. Considering his long tenure as captain and, therefore, the primary spokesperson for the players, it wasn’t at all uncommon for Jen to pull him aside for a brief one-on-one to discuss upcoming appearances or media needs that pertained only to him. It was uncommon, though, for her to do so in such a subdued and solemn manner, as though whatever she had to say to him was a sensitive matter. 

He rarely felt uneasy, but Jen’s request had certainly set him on edge. He silently packed up the final contents of his locker and made sure to bid farewell to each member of the team he hadn’t yet, his mind elsewhere all the while. Ten minutes later, he threw his bag over his shoulder, grabbed his bundle of sticks, and headed to Jen’s office. 

Sidney used a single knuckle to knock on her half-open door, where he could hear her speaking to someone else, in a hushed tone. 

Seriously, what the fuck is going on here…

“Come in,” she called out to him before returning to her previous volume. “Yeah, he just got here,” she said into her office phone. “Yep, I’ll tell him. Thanks.” She hung up the receiver and sighed heavily, folding her arms in front of her on the glass-topped desk. “Will you close the door?” she asked him.

“Jen, what the hell-”

“I know, Sid,” she said, shaking her head sadly, her eyes cast downward. “This isn’t how I wanted to go into the summer, but this needs to be addressed before you go home.” 

Sid passed by her desk in favor of leaning against her windowsill, unable to actually take a seat in the middle of the discomfort. 

“What’s going on?” he asked firmly, crossing his arms against his chest. 

Jen pursed her lips and took a beat before answering. Sid could see her switching from friend-mode to PR-mode before his very eyes, which rarely happened these days. In fact, he couldn’t even remember the last time it had. 

When the next two words out of her mouth were “it’s…” followed by your name, he felt every muscle in his body tense. His brows shot skyward and his eyes went wide, rendered utterly speechless as Jen quickly continued. “I don’t even know if this is something she’s aware of yet, but it’s something you need to be,” she told him. “The social team brought it to my attention earlier today. You know it’s par for the course for us to get a few dozen, sometimes even a couple hundred, stupid comments about you on a post, particularly at the end of a season. But this is… it’s just something we really haven’t had to deal with to this extent before.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, though he certainly didn’t actually want to know the answer to that question. 

“So we posted your final media availability from this morning as a standalone on Instagram,” she began. “It started out with just a couple of random comments, blaming her for the early exit. Just stupid shit like that. But… things have escalated. It’s become something of a… I don’t know, a trend? …to tag her handle in the comment section. And it’s gained some momentum, unfortunately. Seemingly primarily by Philly and Boston fans, which isn’t necessarily shocking.”

Sid tensed and flexed his fingers against the cool window frame. “How much ‘momentum’ are we talking about here?” he asked, voice cool. 

There was a long pause. One far too long for comfort. 

“About 14,000. Kind of… going viral, at least by our standards.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jen,” he spat.

“I know.”

“This is exactly why I never engaged in this social media bullshit.”

“I know.”

“But she didn’t, either. Her account is fucking private. Family and friends only.”

“I know.”

“I never wanted to ask her to shut it down.”

“I know.” 

Sid sighed, his head falling backwards as he closed his eyes, trying to calm his rapidly firing nerve endings. Eventually, he pushed away from the window and held out his hand. 

“Let me see.” He nodded toward Jen’s work iPhone, which was currently buzzing so frequently that it was about to fall off the edge of her desk. 

“Sid, I really don’t-”

“Let… me see.” 

Jen heaved a sigh, glancing upward, before picking up, unlocking, and, after scrolling in her camera roll to her most recent screenshots, handing over the phone.

We’re blaming Sid’s new gf. He had to spend too much time helping her with her algebra homework this year

⮑ How much do you think he pays her per season

⮑ For what, prostitution or her daycare?

She’s gotta be his cover

No wonder he’s lost a step, can’t keep up on the ice AND chase after his toddler

Watch out, Sid. She might run off with Nate. Much closer to her age

From Crybaby Crosby to Sugar Daddy Crosby

Gonna pull a Wayno and request a trade to LA because his girl wants to be famous

⮑ Or end up like Mario when she gets pregnant and traps him

That one made him chuckle darkly. “Yeah, because Mario was so miserable that he’s stayed married to Nathalie for 30-some years and had three more children,” he said bitterly.

⮑ For real, make sure you keep it wrapped, 87

⮑ She's also only as old as Mario's youngest kid. Like let that sink in

Wonder if G’s and Tanger’s girls have to take her to the playground

⮑ Anna and Catherine are so fucking fine, and then there’s her. Blegh

⮑ At least she’s well endowed

⮑ That’s just because she’s chubby

Was hoping she was just a one night stand but apparently not. Hope he doesn’t wife her

Dumb gold digging wh*re

⮑ We want prenup

Hope she dies in a car crash

What’s her @? I don’t wanna f*ck her, just wanna make her life a living hell

⮑ Found her - @yourusername - ig do yo thang!

⮑ Thanks for nothing @yourusername you stupid bitch

And on and on it went from there.

Phone still in hand, fingers gripped tightly around it, Sid met Jen’s concerned eyes. He swallowed hard.

“Is that it?” Please, god, let that be it…

With a single shake of her head, she instructed, “Scroll to the left.” 

He did as she said, and a meme from a widely-followed hockey rumor account appeared. 

SID’S MUCH YOUNGER GIRL GETS ANNIHILATED ON SOCIAL, BLAMED FOR PENS MISSING PLAYOFFS, the first slide read in bold red letters printed above a photo of her, which he knew had been pulled from the account of one of the other Pens’ partners, sporting her “87” beanie at the Winter Classic in January. The following slides in the post were screenshots highlighting some of the nastiest comments from the original post. 

“So that’s the main reason I’m calling this to your attention,” Jen said as he scrolled reluctantly, waves of nausea rolling in his gut. “It might have flown under the radar if it had stayed contained in our comments, but this account picked it up and ran with it. So it’s being more widely discussed.”

Sid inhaled and exhaled slowly, then muttered, “fuck,” as he returned Jen’s phone, letting his hands fall to the leather seatback in front of him. “So what can we do?” he asked.

“We can release a statement,” she said as she clicked the phone locked and placed it back on her desk. “If you want to. Management is fine with that and supports whatever decision you make.” 

Sid nodded, grateful for that sentiment, but still unsure that that was the best course of action. 

“Anybody say what they’d do in this situation?” he asked. 

Jen couldn’t help but smirk. 

“Yeah, one of them said they’d go full Will Smith. ‘Keep my wife’s name out your fuckin’ mouth,’” she told him. “He didn’t actually say that part, but… I’ll let you guess who.”

Sid breathed a slight chuckle. “Sounds like Sully.”

Jen nodded. “It was him on the phone when you walked in,” she informed him. “He didn’t want to say it in front of everyone, but he wanted me to tell you to call him if you need him. Unfortunately, he’s familiar with situations like yours because of Charlie and Kiley, so don’t hesitate to reach out to him - or to any of them - if you need some advice.”

He exhaled forcefully, glancing at his shoes. “Thanks,” he mumbled. He looked back up toward Jen, one of his most trusted companions and confidants. “What would you do? If you were me.”

Jen pursed her lips and leaned her palms against her desk. 

“I’d go talk to my partner first.”

___

It was a quick drive from PPG to your condo in the Strip District. Door to door was typically about seven minutes, ten with traffic. 

Today, though, it felt like it took hours. 

Sid hadn’t told you he was coming over. He planned to make use of the spare key you had given him months ago. Because as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted to catch you off-guard for once, make it so you wouldn’t have time to pull yourself together or freshen up or plaster a grin on your face, as he had a sneaking suspicion that you sometimes did in an attempt to put on a brave front for him.

He simply wanted to meet you, literally, right where you were. He didn’t know how aware you even were of the situation, if at all, so determining that was first on his priority list.

With a nod to the security guard at the front desk, who recognized him not only as a Penguin but from his frequent visits to the building, usually hand-in-hand with you, Sid made his way to the elevator, then to your floor.

Upon reaching your place, he called out to you through the door, before he even unlocked it and turned the handle, so as not to frighten you in what could be considered a fragile time, no matter how you might actually be feeling currently.

“It’s me,” he announced. “I’m coming in.”

This certainly didn’t come as a surprise to you. You didn’t make a move, but instead called out, “In the living room.” 

Sid pushed the door open, then closed and locked it behind him, kicked off his shoes, and left his ball cap in the entryway. He slowly made his way down the hall toward the living room. As he approached, he saw you lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling with your head propped on a throw pillow from the nearby sofa. The sliding glass door leading to your private terrace was open, and the light breeze danced through the gauzy drapes that hung in the threshold.

“Hi, love,” he greeted quietly. 

You forced yourself to look up at him, although your expression was unreadable. 

“Hi,” you replied. “I’ve kind of been expecting you,” you told him as you fixed your eyes upward again. 

Sid nodded, grabbing a pillow for himself before crouching down next to you. Although he leaned over to kiss your forehead, a warm and welcome gesture in the midst of your inner turmoil, he didn’t say anything else right away. He didn't have to. He knew what you needed, and that was just for him to be there with you. To be in it with you. 

And you didn’t say anything, either. Sid didn’t really read into it – you didn’t need to say so out loud for him to understand that this wasn’t about him, or your relationship from the inside out.

It was just about the outsiders, the pathetic trolls who had spent the last several hours taking unnecessary and unprompted shots at you online. 

This scrutiny you were currently under wasn’t necessarily shocking. When you thought back on it, you supposed you had been bracing yourself for it ever since you had agreed to that very first date with Sid over a year ago now after being introduced by mutual friends. He had been the primary face of the league, the Canadian golden boy in every sense of the word, for two decades now, simultaneously adored and hated by literal millions of people, which would never be a figure you’d be able to fully wrap your brain around.

And you’d never shown Sidney the hundreds of message requests that piled up in your inbox from week to week, until you remembered to go in and delete them, and while you made it a point not to read them, it was damn near impossible for your eyes not to catch words such as “hooker,” “slut,” “clout chaser” and worse before tapping Delete All and doing your best to move on with your day with a positive attitude. You’d never told him about the obscene things that people would nearly fall out their car windows to scream at you as you made the short walk from the downtown bars near the arena, on the few nights that you opted to meet the girls or your family for a drink before the games rather than enter the arena through the comfort of the private garage attached to the venue. You’d never mentioned the dozens of times you’d watched partners of the guys on the team mutter and cluck their tongues in disgust while deleting hateful comments about you from their own posts in the past year, which was always followed up by tapping Report and Block in quick succession.

So no, it wasn’t shocking. What it was, though, was hurtful, no matter how far removed from reality the comments and messages actually were. 

Finally, Sidney moved beside you, rolling his head to the side to study you intently, still silent for a long while. He knew this couldn’t be the first time you’d been hurt, even if indirectly, because of his profession. But it was the first time he’d seen you dwell on it before his very eyes, and it shattered him.

“You doing okay?” he asked gently.

You, too, let your head fall to the side to meet his gaze. 

“Who, me? Oh, never better,” you teased, opting for humor. 

Sid let out a singular, sad chuckle, then reached his thumb to smooth across your cheekbone. 

“So much for the lavender haze, huh?” you sighed, curling into his touch as he opened his palm to caress your face. 

“Doesn’t change a goddamn thing about the way I feel about you,” he asserted. “About how crazy I am about you. How much I adore you.” 

You nodded, grasping his forearm and giving it an affectionate squeeze. You kissed the fleshy crease of his hand.

“I know that,” you said. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you either, it’s just…” You sighed, and he took this opportunity to open his arms and invite you closer. You rolled onto your side and rested your head on his chest, and he wound his arms around you as tightly as he possibly could. “All this shit is new to me, Sid,” you said in a small voice. 

He gave your waist a squeeze and used his fingertips to trace up and down your arm soothingly, then pressed a kiss to your hairline. 

“I know, baby,” he whispered. “And I’m sorry you have to deal with it at all. It’s because of me. And I hate that more than anything.”

You reached to cup your hand against his neck. 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” you protested. “I don’t want you to be. It’s not your fault”

He sighed. “Maybe not, but, still…” 

He trailed off, and you let his words hang in the air for a moment before adding, “Well, for what it’s worth, you handle it beautifully.”

You looked up at him adoringly. He returned the gesture, smiling down at you softly as his thumb tapped your shoulder appreciatively.

You settled back against him, eyes fixed on the shelf of plants across the room, unable to look at him for this next part. You swallowed hard.

“I think I’m gonna shut down my acc-”

“I don’t want you to do that,” he said immediately, shaking his head. He had never spoken to you so sharply. “Not because of this. Not because of me. We can’t let people win. That's exactly what they want.”

Your voice wavered as you tried your best to argue. “It’s not just this one time, Sid,” you admitted, but didn’t elaborate any further. “I don’t want people talking about you like that-”

“I don’t give a damn what people say,” he said, his volume rising. “Let them fucking talk all the shit they want. It’ll never change the way I look at you, the way I feel about you. And that’s what they’re trying to do. They’re trying to poke holes in this where there are none. Let’s not give them any more power than they already think they have.”

You didn’t have a comeback for that one. Instead, silence fell over the room once again as you lay in his strong arms. About five minutes later, after replaying his little monologue again and again in his head, he kissed your temple. 

“I’m sorry,” he said gently, lips still pressed to your skin. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I just need you to know that you’re more important to me than any of this shit. You’re the most important thing in my life, and it’s not close.”

You lifted yourself from your prone position in favor of straddling Sid’s waist, not in a sexual way, but simply in one that kept him close. He reached for your hands to entangle your fingers in his, and you leaned down to kiss him.

“Once again, no need to apologize, but I do appreciate it,” you said, sitting back up. “You know you’re the only thing that truly matters to me, too. We’ll get through this – we’re way stronger than the shit they’re trying to throw at us.” Below you, Sid nodded, smoothing the back of your hands with his thumb. “But I, for one, am ready to take a break from talking about this for right now, and I’m starving. Can I order us some delivery?” you asked, climbing off of him. Sid, too, stood up. 

“Let me order,” he insisted, bringing you in with a hand at the small of your back. “What sounds good to you?”

You barely needed a moment to respond. “Pizza?” you suggested. 

“Pizza it is,” he agreed. “I’ll call Milano.”

You grinned at the mention of your favorite local joint and pushed yourself up to kiss him. 

“Sounds perfect,” you said. “Thank you. I’m gonna go put on some sweats. I’ll be right back,” you said, kissing him one more time before disappearing into your bedroom. 

Sid's gaze followed you as you entered your closet, grateful that you’d unwittingly fallen for his plan to be able to nonchalantly check his phone. He pulled it from his pocket as he walked out onto the terrace. On his screen were notifications of dozens of calls and texts, but a few names stood out from the rest. 

Sully - iMessage: Sid - Jen has kept me up to speed on the situation this afternoon. I'm sorry that you both are dealing with this nonsense. With the way this has escalated, I would encourage you to strongly consider allowing her team to make a statement. That being said, I understand and support whatever decision you make, and I know you’ll do what’s best for the both of you. Always in your corner. - MS

Geno - iMessage: Anna told me what happened. Bullshit!!!!! Make Jen write statement, NOW!!!!!

Jen - iMessage: I already have a few sentences drafted based on our conversation earlier. If you’d like to move forward, just say the word. For now, just take care of her.

Sidney turned and quietly slid the terrace door shut behind him, then tapped Jen’s contact number and pressed the phone to his ear. It rang only one-and-a-half times before…

“Thought I might hear from you.”

“Thought you might say that,” Sid retorted, eyes trailing across the cityscape below. 

“How is she?” Jen asked. 

Sid blew out a long breath. “Honestly, better than I expected. It was a little rough when I first got here, but you know her, nothing keeps her down for too long.”

Jen offered a sound of approval. “Yep, that’s my girl. So… what’s up?”

“I wanna put out a statement,” he said confidently. “Not from me, but from the team, if that’s possible.”

“It’s more than possible - it’s what I was going to suggest if you decided to go this route,” she replied. “Like I said, I already have something started, so I’ll continue to work on that.”

“Send me a draft beforehand, okay? I’d like to offer input,” Sidney requested, glancing over his shoulder to ensure you hadn’t yet emerged from your bedroom, lest you grow suspicious of his clandestine phone conversation.

“Of course,” said Jen. “I’d never release without your approval.” 

“That’s why you’re the best in the biz,” he told her jokingly, though genuinely. “Could you just email it to me rather than read it over the phone like normal? I haven’t, uh, exactly told her I’m doing this yet.” 

“Understood,” she responded immediately. “Give me 20 and I’ll shoot something your way.” 

“Thanks, Jen. Truly,” he said. “I’m really grateful to you and your team.” 

“Always in your corner, Sid,” she said, calling back to mind the same promise from his head coach via text just hours ago. “You’re easy to defend. Talk soon. Bye.” 

“Bye, Jen.”

- - -

The next morning…

A statement from the Pittsburgh Penguins:

The Pittsburgh Penguins are aware of and do not condone the despicable and disparaging comments made online recently regarding a member of our captain’s family. Involving and attempting to implicate our players’ families in discussions about the results of our season and the future of our organization is simply heinous and unacceptable. While our organization does not typically respond to immature and ill-informed social media comments, we are unable to stand by and allow these words to go unchecked. We will not allow so-called fans of this game to post unfair and patently untrue accusations against our players’ loved ones without publicly denouncing them ourselves. We applaud the dignity and grace with which our players’ families approach these difficult situations, and our organization fully supports and stands with them.

- - -

“I read it,” Sidney heard from the open French doors of his office half an hour after Jen told him the statement had gone live.

Apparently, it was his turn for a visit previously unannounced.

He spun in his chair to find you standing in front of him, arms crossed tightly against your chest, eyes rimmed with red but also with a small smile on your lips. "I was already on my way here anyway, but..."

“Come here,” he invited, pushing his chair back from his desk. You obliged, crossing the room toward him and taking a seat on his lap as he circled his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to the back of your arm, eyes closing in reverence as his lips lingered against your skin. 

You rested the side of your head against the top of his. “‘A member of your family,’ huh?” you asked softly, unable to keep the wide grin from your face. 

Sid pressed a few more quick kisses to your skin before shifting you slightly in his lap so that he could meet your eyes. He looked up at you reverently, pushing some of your hair away from your face. 

“That verbiage was my choice,” he informed you firmly. “Because that’s what you are to me. You are my family,” he said, conviction in every syllable. “Yes, you’re my girlfriend for now, but in time, you’ll be my fiancé, my wife, the mother of my children. You know that. ‘Girlfriend’ or even ‘partner’ just didn’t feel like enough. You’re… you’re my everything. I love you.” 

You nodded. With more tears forming in your eyes, you pressed your hand to his smooth cheek and leaned down to kiss him. 

“I love you, too,” you whispered against his lips as he cupped the back of your head in his hand. “Thank you.”

[thedevilrisen]

sneak peak 🫣

[f1ast-life]

WHAT KINDA BOYFRIEND SHIT IS THIS

[sergeifyodorov]

why are you a straightsid truther

he's straight

[kpopppin]

FINALLY FOUND A GOOD NHL FANFIC AND WAS EXCITED TO READ MORE…UNTIL THE BLOG FUCKING DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!!!!

[manchot1988]

i wrote a wishbaby fic for Sid and Geno! I was in my feels with all the BTS content this weekend with the pens at Nova Scotia. Hope you guys like it.

Link on AO3

Summary:

Receiving a wishbaby in itself was a rare gift. For them to receive twin wishbabies on center ice at the end of the Nova Scotia Showdown game, surrounded by their team and family, was beyond was Sid and Geno could have ever imagined.

[love-like-woaah]

I need someone to write a soul-mark hockey RPF rare pair of Nico Hischier and Sidney Crosby because they both have a cut on their cheek.

[doc-pickles]

sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch. 2)

series masterlist

summary: sid grapples with his emotions and talks with annie before visiting the malkin’s newest addition

warnings: none! :)

author’s note: Hey y’all! I’m so happy you’re enjoying this series already. I’m super excited to write it out and give it some body. Hope you like this chapter!

xoxo

nina

The first time Sidney Crosby met Annie Wright she spilled coffee all over him.

“Shit I’m so sorry I wasn’t watching and my phone rang and-,” Annie had paused and looked up at Sidney with wide eyes. “And now the tabloids are going to rake me through the mud for trying to take out Pittsburgh’s Golden Boy.”

Sid chuckled and looked down at his shirt with a grin, “S’okay. It was an accident. Unless you purposely spill coffee on strangers.”

The wide grin that Annie gave Sidney is one he still pictures to this day. Her hair was in a high ponytail, her face freckled from the summer sun. He compares that image with the version of Annie standing in front of him now. She looks sad, worn down even. This is not his Annie.

They’re both standing speechless across from each other and for a moment it feels like no time has passed. But then Sid blinks and his world comes crashing back down around him.

“Is Vivie mine?” Sid’s not sure where his words come from. It feels like he’s not even the one saying them, like he’s watching the scene unfold before him from outside of his body. “I need you to tell me, I need to hear it from your lips. Is she mine?”

Annie’s eyes search his face for a moment before she nods and answers in a quiet voice, “Yes she’s your daughter Sidney.”

His hands run over his face, through his hair, covers his eyes. Sid sucks in a deep breath and immediately feels his sandwich from earlier coming back up. He quickly turns around and pukes into the bush there, chest heaving as he braces his hands on his knees.

He has a daughter.

A daughter who’s first seven years of life he’s missed.

A daughter with the only woman he’s ever loved.

When he’s sure that he’s not going to throw up again Sid stands up, takes a deep breath, and turns to Annie. Her teeth are digging into her lip, a nervous habit she’s always had, and even though he has a million conflicted emotions about her Sid finds all he wants to do right now is smooth out the skin of Annie’s lips like he used to.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say,” Annie breathes and runs a hand through her blonde locks. “Which isn’t fair to you I know but I wasn’t exactly expecting to run into you when I woke up today. Damn it, I’m sorry I know you’re expecting answers but I can’t… I can’t think straight. I’m sorry.”

Sid sighs and nods, “I get it. I’m, uh, pretty speechless too.” He runs a hand through his salt and pepper hair, clocking Annie’s eyes following his hand. “I have Niki for a few days but maybe… Maybe we could meet up and talk?”

Annie only hesitates for a moment before nodding, her shoulders loosening just a little bit, “That… Yeah that would be good.”

They stand there awkwardly for a few moments as if they’d never been madly in love and on the verge of spending their lives together. Finally Sidney is the one to break the silence as his fingers twitch at his sides.

“Vivie is all Nikita talks about,” Sid smirks at the small laugh that Annie lets out. “Seriously, he spent 20 minutes this morning telling me about why blue and purple are her favorite colors.”

Annie rolls her eyes playfully before smirking, “Yeah that sounds right. Annie and him have been inseparable since they met in kindergarten. Hold on, I have this one picture…”

As Annie pulls her phone out Sidney drinks in her casual appearance, a pair of frayed jeans with a white tee tucked into it. She’s just as gorgeous as she’s always been and it makes Sid’s chest constrict tightly despite the anger and sadness still lingering there.

“Here! They wanted matching costumes so they decided to be Woody and Jessie,” Annie holds her phone and shows Sid a photo of Nikita and Vivie, arms wrapped around each other. It’s clearly from a few years ago, both of them sporting chubby cheeks and bright eyes. Sid takes in the way Vivie’s eyes look so much like his, the way her chin is a perfect replica of his.

There’s emotion overflowing in his chest and Sid finds he has to look away so he doesn’t start crying in front of a fucking elementary school right after throwing up there. He clears his throat and looks away from Annie’s phone, “She’s beautiful, An. Is, uh, is Vivie short for something?”

“Her full name is Vivienne,” Annie whispers as she watches her phone intently. “Um… Vivienne Taylor.”

Sidney felt his heart clench at Annie’s words, knowing she’d thought of him when naming their daughter. He let out a slow breath, willing back his tears once more before nodding, “That’s… Thank you.”

Annie and Sid exchange numbers before parting ways and as soon as he’s behind the wheel of his SUV Sidney lets out a ragged breath followed by a low sob.

+

“Mama! Papa!”

Sid’s been on auto pilot since his run in with Annie this morning, but Nikita’s yell breaks him out of his haze momentarily. He follows the boy into the hospital room, watching as Geno lifts his son into his arms and kisses his hair.

That should be you with your daughter.

Shaking the thought off Sid sets the flowers he’d brought on the bedside table before coming over to hug Anya, kissing her forehead.

“You look great for just having pushed a baby out,” Sid teases lightly, but his grin doesn’t reach his eyes.

“She big like her papa, nearly tore me in half,” Anya grins up at Sid before looking to the bundle in her arms. “You wanna hold?”

He agrees instinctively and carefully takes the baby from Anna. Her little face is scrunched up and Sid can already see wisps of dark hair peeking out from her cap. Gently running a finger down her chubby cheek Sid thinks about his own daughter and how he never got this moment with her. Hell he’d never even hugged the girl and she was already seven years old.

“Sid why you crying, it’s just baby,” Geno teases as he sidles up next to him. He looks him over before lowering his voice. “You okay?”

Sidney nods and stares at the baby for another moment before speaking, “I met Vivie today. And her mom.”

Geno grunts, his eyes trained on his daughter, “Mom never around when I am. Anya think she’s avoiding me, don’t know why though.”

“Vivie’s mom is Annie,” Sid pauses and then looks up at Geno, whose face has gone white. “My Annie.”

The two men stand in silence, Nikita chattering to his mom in the background. Sid and Geno keep their eyes locked on the baby in Sid’s arms as they come to terms with the bomb that had been dropped on them. Annie had left before Anya had moved to Pittsburgh, it was reasonable she wouldn’t know who she was. But Geno would have and Annie knew that.

“Sid is…,” Geno looks scared to utter the words as he meets Sid’s eyes. “Vivie?”

Sid simply nods, Geno exhaling and running a hand over his face. The baby fusses a bit and Sidney immediately starts to rock back and forth, bouncing on his heels and soothing her.

“You’re natural Sid,” Anya muses with a grin, missing the wince Geno lets out. “When you have your own babies?”

“Anya,” Geno says lowly and though he can’t understand it, Sid knows that whatever he says in Russian is enough for Anna to get that she shouldn’t ask more questions.

+

Later that night after he’s tucked Nikita into bed Sid checks his phone, a glass of scotch in one hand as he sinks into the couch. He has a few texts but there’s only one he clicks into.

Unknown: hey it’s annie. let me know when a good time for you to meet up is, i’m flexible.

And then, as if knowing his heart didn’t need to take anymore hits today, Annie sends a photo of Vivie fast asleep in her bed with a stuffed penguin tucked under her chin.

And Sidney finally lets his tears fall.

[watch-the-damn-line]

Imperatives

Sidney Crosby/Nathan Mackinnon

"He can feel the vibrations of Nate’s moans as he bites and sucks at the tender underside of his chin, and over his adam’s apple. Nate tastes like salty sweat, like the beer he’d drunk somewhat clumsily earlier, like skin, like Nate. It’s heady and Sid scrapes his teeth unkindly across the skin before licking up Nate’s jugular posessively."

aka the one in which Sidney takes ENORMOUS advantage of Nate's hero worship for him, and his general coachability.

if that sounds like your thing you can read it here, i am dearestblake on ao3 :))

[masonmerger]

3000 words into a fix-it fic for the pens power play and only needed a teensy TINSEY bit of science fiction to make it work

[miracleonice87]

lady (part two to big, big plans) - with Sidney Crosby

a/n: based on the song Lady by Brett Young. this story picks up a couple of weeks after big, big plans ended. lyrics in italics indicate jumps forward in time.

warnings: swearing, alcohol. basically all about pregnancy, babies, childbirth, etc. (my brand), so if those topics are triggering, please skip this one! complete and total fluff with just a tiny touch of angst. Sid as a dad to a newborn should also come with a warning, so here you go. 

word count: ~4,000

_____

I remember when I first heard your heartbeat

It had only been eight weeks

Standing there, starin' at that screen

Was the first time you ever scared me…

Holy. Shit.

Sid blew out a deep breath, both your hands wrapped tightly around one of his for where he stood next to you at the exam table. The whooshing noise thumping through his ears seemed to reverberate from his chest to his toes. A strong, steady beat. His baby’s heartbeat. Your baby’s heartbeat. He was sure he would never hear a more beautiful sound. 

“Wow,” you whispered as your eyes remained fixed on the screen, the image little more than a nondescript, imperfect circle at this eight-week mark. Tears dripped down your temples and you finally turned your head to see the wonder and bewilderment on Sid’s face. Your always calm, ever collected partner had never looked more rattled. 

“Oh, my god,” he muttered, raising his eyebrows as his lips pulled into an awestruck smile. “That’s our baby.” 

You nodded and your tears continued to fall freely. He raised your joined hands and pressed his lips to your knuckles, his free hand finding your head, thumb gently stroking your hairline. 

“Our baby,” you repeated, giggling sweetly. “We’re really having a baby.” 

Sid nodded and bent at the waist to kiss your forehead. 

“Oh, my god,” he said again, chuckling against your skin. 

The technician smiled at the two of you and said, “I’ll make copies of the pictures we’ve taken here today. How many would you like?” 

Just as you said “maybe three,” Sid said, “ten, please,” and you glanced at him in amusement. He gave you a confused look. 

“What do you mean?” he scoffed. Counting on his fingers, he continued. “Me, you, our parents, Taylor, your sister, Mario and Nathalie-” 

You cut him off, placing a hand on his forearm, and looked back to the tech. 

“However many you typically give is fine,” you gently assured. She smiled warmly. 

“Ten copies, coming right up,” she said. “Sit tight.” 

Sidney thanked her as she left the room, then his lips were on yours in a flash. You smiled into his passionate kiss, a gesture uncharacteristic of him in a public place, even when there wasn’t anyone else immediately in the vicinity. 

“Are you excited?” you asked against his lips. He hummed affirmatively. 

“What tipped you off?” he teased, earning a giggle. He guided you to an upright position on the table and cupped your cheek. “You’re doing the most incredible thing for us. I’m amazed. And I’m also completely terrified,” he admitted, less proudly.

You slid your hand to rest on his shoulder. “I am, too, in a way,” you confirmed. Your smile grew significantly as you added, “but I think we’re gonna fucking rock this ‘being parents’ thing, babe.” 

Sidney studied you intently. “You think so?” he asked seriously, smoothing his thumb across your cheekbone. 

You nodded. “I really do, Sid,” you promised. “And I wouldn’t wanna do this with anybody else.”

He leaned in for another kiss, finding comfort in you as he always did, which was more important than ever as you faced your biggest challenge to date. But you’d greet it head first, together, and he’d have you – he knew beyond a doubt that that would be more than enough. 

God knows I don't know

Exactly what I'm doin', but

Good news, we got her to get through it…

“No, Sid, this piece goes up here… like… this. I think.”

“Tanger, that makes no sense. It should go down here and then come across like… wait.”

You rolled your eyes and tried to stifle a laugh at the conversation happening in your guest room-turned-nursery just down the hall from your bedroom. As you entered the room and sat down the basket of freshly washed newborn clothes on the plush rocking chair, Sid looked up at you wide-eyed.

“Did you just carry that basket up the steps by yourself?” Sid asked, mild frustration evident in his voice. 

You stepped closer to him, trying to distract him by sinking your fingers into the soft curls atop his head as he sat on the floor. 

“I’m six months pregnant, babe. Not an invalid,” you said, trying your best to sound nonchalant. 

“That’s a non-answer,” Sidney pointed out, though he leaned into your touch. 

“Uh oh,” Kris mumbled as he busied himself inspecting the crib pieces, sensing that he was about to become witness to a spat, the sort with which, after two kids of his own, he was all too familiar. He knew better than nearly anyone how tense and stressed Sid got when big things were going on – Cup runs, big trades, injuries. But nothing could compare to how big this was – welcoming his first baby with you. 

The stress of it was nearly enough to drive the man to the brink. He waited on you hand and foot, barely let you out of his sight, and had forced his way into taking over nearly all of the household chores, including laundry, since finding out you were pregnant. He had given you explicit instructions not to carry the laundry baskets up the steps and to let him do it instead… but of course, you were just as stubborn as he, and attempted to sweep under the rug your blatant ignorance of his wishes in favor of surveying the progress the men had made on the baby’s crib… or, rather, the lack thereof. 

“I take it things aren’t going so well in here,” you said evenly. 

Sid sighed, sitting back and reaching up one hand to cradle your ever-rounding bump. 

“Could be going better,” he mumbled. You bit your lip to keep from smirking at his admission – if there was one thing Sidney didn’t take well to, it was failure at something. At anything.

“Kris, we invited you over because we thought you’d have experience with this type of thing,” you pointed out, giggling. 

Kris held up his hands in his own defense. 

“Hey, it’s been years now since I’ve had to put together a crib!” he argued. “The technology has already evolved.” 

You snorted, lightly scratching at Sidney’s head to get him to look up at you. 

“How about we just hire someone to do this?” you asked gently. 

“No, I’m gonna finish this if it kills me,” Sid replied adamantly. “I should be able to put together my baby’s crib.” 

You held up your other hand in concession. 

“Okay, whatever you say,” you said. “I’ll bring you a couple more beers and then I think I’ll take a nap.” 

Sid kissed your stomach and squeezed your hip. 

“Deal, as long as you’re gonna rest,” he said. “And don’t you worry – we’re gonna figure this out.” 

“I have no doubt,” you assured, bending as best you could to peck his lips. “Oh, and I’m pretty sure that piece you’re holding is the top railing,” you added innocently before heading to the kitchen. 

Your statement was followed by a few seconds of silence, then you heard a “hmph” from Sid and an indignant exclamation from Kris – “I told you so!” 

You were awoken later by the fading light of dusk filtering in through your bedroom windows. You sat up with a yawn, propped against your oversized pregnancy pillow, and found Sid sitting in a chair across the room on his laptop. 

“Hi,” you greeted groggily with a small smile. 

He lifted his head and instantly beamed at you. 

“There’s my girl,” he said, setting his computer aside and crossing the room to join you. “How’d you sleep?” he asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed, kissing your temple. 

You sighed contentedly. “Actually so good,” you said. Sid’s grin grew wider – he knew how hard sleep had been to come by for you as you neared the end of your second trimester. 

“That’s great, babe,” he said. “I didn’t wanna wake you, but… I have a surprise for you.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “The crib is done?!” you asked with excitement. 

Sid shrugged, feigning innocence. “I dunno, you better come see,” he said. 

He eased you off the bed and led you down the hallway to the new nursery, where the door was closed. You turned to him with a curious look. 

“I’m gonna cover your eyes, okay?” he asked, and you nodded as he stepped behind you, placing one hand over your eyes and opening the door with the other. “Just follow my lead. Take a step… careful.” 

He guided you further into the room, and you squealed in surprise when your feet found a fluffy surface beneath them, in contrast to the hardwood that had been bare just hours ago. 

You heard the smile in his voice as Sid said, “ready… and… open.”

You gently pried his hand from your face and immediately gasped at the scene before you. Earlier today, the only signs that a baby girl was on her way were the blush pink paint on the walls, the rocking chair passed down from your grandmother’s house, and the unassembled crib components scattered on the floor. Since then, the room had been transformed into the coziest place in your home. You took in the details that had been added only today – the white faux fur rug beneath your feet, the changing table on one side of the room and the long-awaited crib on the other, the ruffled curtains on the windows, the shelves that held an assortment of children’s books and stuffed animals along with a framed copy of a recent ultrasound picture and a photo of you and Sid, and, maybe your favorite of all, the pink neon sign that read “Baby Crosby” lighted above the crib. 

The tears escaped you as though someone had turned on a faucet, and you could only sob as Sid wrapped his arms tightly around your chest from behind. 

Though he knew they were tears of joy, Sidney still felt anxious as you cried hard, and he turned you around to cradle you against himself as he soothingly rubbed at your back. 

“Shhh, honey,” he cooed. “Breathe for me, okay?” he chuckled. 

You pulled back from him with a teary giggle, nodding. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you said, trying to gather yourself. “I’m okay, I swear.” 

Sidney smiled, smoothing his hands up and down your arms. “Don’t apologize, babe,” he said, kissing the bridge of your nose. “I knew this might be a little overwhelming, but I just wanted to make it special for you.”

You splayed a hand across your chest, staring again at all of the thoughtful additions to the room. 

“Special doesn’t even begin to cover it, Sid,” you said dreamily as your eyes found him again. “How did you even do all of this?!” 

He grinned proudly. “I actually called in some reinforcements,” he said. “I didn’t feel right asking for people to buy you things for a baby shower or anything, so I asked our parents and our sisters to each pick out a certain piece, and I ordered everything and hid all the boxes in the shed. So…” he turned you again in his arms, his solid chest pressed to your back as he pointed out various elements of the room. “Your dad picked out the books, some of the ones you loved most when you were little. Your mom picked out the curtains, because she said they reminded her of the ones from your and your sister’s old room.” Your heart warmed – you realized the curtains were almost identical to the ones you used to have. “My mom picked out the changing table because she knows you’re picky about storage, just like she is. My dad picked out the stuffed animals – a little Louky he found from Rimouski, a yellow lab because he knows how much we loved Sam, and a penguin because, well… obviously.” You laughed together as he smoothed his foot over the furry rug. “Your sister picked the rug because she said you had it saved on Pinterest. And my sister chose the shelves and the framed photos because she said it’s the best she can do until the baby comes and she can take real family photos of us.” You hummed happily. “And… the sign is a gift from me.” 

You turned toward him once more, your hand resting on his cheek, tears filling your eyes again. 

“How can I even begin to say thank you for this, Sid?” you whispered, shaking your head in amazement, humbled by his gesture of tenderness, thoughtfulness, and pure love. 

Sidney, too, shook his head. “How do I even begin to say thank you for this?” he asked, his hand finding your belly on the final word. “This is truly the least I could do. And listen, there are still plenty of finishing touches for you to add – sheets and blankets and artwork and stuff – but if there’s anything you wanna take back, we can easily return-”

You silenced him with a kiss, though pushing yourself up on your toes took a bit more effort these days. He smiled against your lips, and your hand found the back of his neck to keep him close. When you broke apart, he rested his forehead against yours. 

“This is perfect,” you whispered. “It’s better than I could have ever dreamed. Thank you, babe.”

Sid smiled proudly. “I love you,” he whispered back. “And our girl.” 

You nodded, resting your head on his chest as you soaked in the moment you knew would live as a sweet memory in your soul forevermore. 

I hope you look just like your momma

And love her like I do

You'll see close to perfect patience

If you watch her every move…

Sid had never been happier to miss an All-Star game. 

The official reason given by the team was that Sid was dealing with a hand injury that would have prevented him from playing in the game. The truth was, when the roster was released, Sid approached the Pens training staff and confirmed that, yes, he still did have a bruised hand from blocking a shot a week ago, but he would be prepared to play through it after the break. Just… not during. 

Knowing that you were now well into your pregnancy, plus noting in conversations with management that there truly was no reason to push Sid’s hand injury by playing in a meaningless game, the training staff deferred to the captain, who did not travel to sunny Florida that week after all. 

Instead, he spent the week in snowy Pittsburgh with you, and he had never been happier about a decision. (Well, almost never.) 

The break was spent putting the finishing touches on the nursery, organizing all the smaller items you’d gotten from your recent baby showers, and relaxing together, both one-on-one and with friends from the team who had also stayed in town. Sid’s number one priority was spoiling the hell out of you. 

Your favorite part of each day was simply laying together before bed, whether you were scrolling your phones, watching reruns of Friends, or reading, as you had been doing this evening. 

Sid emerged from the bathroom after taking a break from his thousand-page history of World War II ships to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. You heard him chuckle softly and saw him shaking his head as you lowered your copy of The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule, about her complicated friendship with Ted Bundy. 

“What?” you inquired, smirking. “What are you giggling about, mister?”

He let out an amused sigh and stretched out onto the bed on his stomach, reaching out his hand to rub soothingly over your bump, as was his most frequent habit as of late. He used his other hand to prop up his head. 

“I just don’t know how you read these terrifying books period, let alone while you’re carrying our child,” he said, simultaneously amazed and horrified. “I would never sleep.”

You shrugged. “Well I like them,” you said stubbornly. 

Sidney smiled at your obstinance, egging you on. “Our baby’s going to come out wanting to hear nursery rhymes about serial killers,” he joked. 

You rolled your eyes and set the book aside. “Better than asking for one about military ships,” you murmured, curling your fingers into Sid’s thick, slightly salt-and-pepper hair. 

He scoffed. “She’s going to know all about them anyway,” he insisted. “I’ll make sure of it.” Sid turned his attention back to your belly, flexing the pads of his fingertips against your middle.

“What do you think, little one? Are you gonna read military books like Dad when you’re bigger? Hmm? Or are you gonna read those weird true crime books like Mama?” 

“What if she’s into science? Or philosophy?” you suggested. 

He offered his sweet crooked smile  “Even better,” he replied. Then, pressing his lips to your stomach he murmured, “Then she’ll be smarter than us both.”

You smiled, too, and rested your head back against your pillows, growing sleepy at Sid’s repeated movements. You stroked his smooth cheek with your thumb.

“I hope she has your eyes,” you whispered dreamily. 

Sid shook his head. “Nah… I hope she looks just like her mama,” he rebutted, picking up your hand to press a kiss to your wrist. 

Those were the last words you heard before you drifted to sleep, still smiling. 

She'll hear you, she'll hold you, she'll help you through

She'll fix you, and me too…

This was far from the birth either of you had anticipated. 

After your water broke in the early hours of a frigid March morning, Sidney had loaded your bags into his vehicle and cautiously made his way to Magee Women’s, the route familiar after nine months of regular trips to the Oakland hospital. Traffic at this time of day was virtually nonexistent, and getting checked into your labor and delivery room was, thankfully, a breeze. 

The morning started easily, with you still able to laugh and talk between light contractions, even calling your and Sidney’s parents yourself to give them the exciting news that their first grandchild would soon be making her arrival. Your strength and calm made Sid feel strong and calm himself. 

Until that evening, when you had been pushing for three hours but you weren’t making any progress at all. Sid could feel the anxiety gripping his heart as he watched you writhe in pain. Though he had never witnessed a birth, he got the sense that this was not “the norm.” His concern only grew as he watched your doctor send a pointed, knowing expression to the nurse standing by your bed, who was now reaching for an oxygen tank and mask, handing it to you and calmly instructing you to put the mask over your nose and breathe normally. You did so with trembling fingers, your eyes wide with fear. 

Suddenly, a chorus of beeping alarms was chirping, lights flashing on every screen and monitor in the room. The nurse herself pressed the call button on your remote which brought two other nurses into the room. 

No, Sid thought as he stared down at you, wide-eyed behind the oxygen mask. No, no. It isn’t supposed to be this way.

“Fetal heart rate’s dropping,” one nurse said, moving from one monitor to inspect the paper report trailing out from another.  

No. No, no, no. 

“Mom’s blood pressure is spiking,” another nurse said, reaching for her stethoscope. 

No. No. 

“I think baby’s shoulders are stuck, Mama,” the doctor explained, her voice gentle but still thick with a distinct urgency. “This is gonna hurt, and it’s not going to be easy. I’m sorry. We’ve gotta get baby out now. I need you to stay calm for me and focus on pushing as hard as you can, okay?” 

With one arm lifting your shoulders off the bed and the other hand clasped tightly between both your own, Sidney focused all of his attention on you. 

“You’re doing it, babe,” he encouraged, pressing his forehead to the side of your head. “You’re doing so well, sweet girl. Almost there.” He heard his own voice wavering even as he forced himself to put on brave and steady front for you. 

You moved the oxygen mask away from your face, your hands shaking even more now. “It’s… so hard!” you panted, head slumping back against the flimsy pillow. 

Sidney nodded, squeezing your knee. “I know it is, babe,” he sympathized. “I can’t even imagine. But you’ve got this, okay? You do.” 

You looked at him, sniffling, the most pitiful expression on your face. “It hurts, Sid,” you cried. “It hurts so bad.”

His throat tightened at your admission – you had a high pain tolerance, and past that, you never, ever complained. He knew that this was the worst pain of your life, and he wished more than anything that he could bear it for you instead. 

“I know, honey, I know,” he soothed, blinking back tears of his own. “But you’re almost done, okay? Our baby is almost here – she’ll be here so soon. Right?” 

You nodded, frowning, your breath coming in slow, uneven gasps. 

“Right,” he answered himself, positioning the oxygen mask back over your nose and mouth. “So listen – let’s take some deep breaths and get ready to bring her here to us. Okay?” 

You responded immediately to his coaching, pursing your lips to control your breathing as you’d both learned in the many birthing classes you’d attended over the past several months. You knew he was right. No matter the unexpected circumstances, you were made for this – you could do this. And you would, with Sidney right beside you, supporting you each step of the way. 

“Okay,” you whispered, feeling the urge to push again. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Sid lifted your shoulders so that you were in a crunch position once again. “Good girl,” he praised as the nurse counted you through your pushing. “That’s my girl.” 

You can always run to daddy

You'll always be my baby, but

Look at her, baby girl

And you'll learn how to be a lady…

Saylor Paige Crosby arrived after four full hours of pushing, her dramatic birth not at all representative of her laid-back nature. She barely whimpered during those first sacred hours after her birth, save for when she was hungry. Her proud grandparents “ooh”d and “ahh”d over her sweet disposition and soft coos, and could barely pull themselves away for the night when the nurse gently reminded them that visiting hours were long over. They reluctantly said their goodbyes, and before they had even made their way out of the maternity ward, Sid turned around to find you already sleeping peacefully. 

He smiled softly to himself, Saylor tucked in one arm, and pulled the covers up to your shoulders with his free hand, bending down to press a light kiss to your forehead. He backed away from you silently and took a seat in the recliner at the end of the bed, focusing once again on Saylor. 

“You and Mama had a long day, huh?” he rasped, smoothing one hand over the blanket tightly wrapped around the baby’s form. “She’s so strong, baby girl,” he added incredulously. “She didn’t even swear at me while she was bringing you here,” he added with a wry grin. “I think that’s pretty good.” 

He sighed deeply, looking up again at your sleeping form. 

“You’ve both been through so much today,” he said, looking back to Saylor. “But you’re here now, huh? You’re here, and you’re safe, and you’re the most beautiful little girl in the world.” He traced a finger over his daughter’s familiar features. “Yes, you are. And I was right about one thing,” he continued, beaming. “You look just like her. Lucky girl.” He pulled the hospital-issued cap, complete with a giant bow, down further to cover Saylor’s ears. “The luckiest girl, to have her as your mama. She’s the most wonderful person in the world, with the kindest heart. She loves you more than anything, Say. I can promise you that,” he said, sniffling, swiping at the stray tears that had fallen. “And I know you’ll love her like I do.” 

[thedevilrisen]

i have an idea.

i want to start a new au, or two.. which one first?

[dont-take-me-home]

I'm one of those people who need a goal in life, a calling, a mission. And I think I finally found one 🥲