#risen rambles :d

[thedevilrisen]

Jealous Quinn imagine, please? 🥺

Sure Angel!

-:-

"That's so interesting! What did you say your name was again?"

"Mark. What was yours sweetheart?"

"Y/N"

-

"Quinn, mate you look like you're going to kill that poor boy." Brock stated as he sat back down into the booth with his new beer.

"I might just. She giggled at him, giggled! What could he be saying that's giggle worthy?" the man exclaimed

"Your focusing quite a lot on this for someone who says he couldn't care less about who she talked to." Brock spoke matter of factly.

"I don't!" Quinn exclaimed

"Are you sure about that? Your trust seems to have flown out the window 25 minutes ago." Brock the ever observant best friend was treading the very thin line of Quinn's patience.

"It's not her I don't trust. It's the clown sitting next to her." Quinn mumbled into his drink to avoid sounding as petty as he was feeling. However his eyes never left the pair sitting at the bar. "It's fine. I just have to get over myself, she's a big girl she can take care of herself."

"Alright then! How about some pool, I saw a table on my way back from the bar."

"Yeah," He sighed eye flicking back over to the pair once more, "He's touching her!"

Shooting out of the seat and winding his way through the tables he reached the bar, "Hey mate, great conversation. Touch my girlfriend again and I'll touch you rather violently."

"Qui-" you tried to fight as he pulled you from the bar stool and through the patrons to the exit. Once on the side walk he stopped rather abruptly causing you to collide into his muscular chest.

"You still love me right?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure."

"Very."

"I don't want to be seen as toxic but I hate when other guys touch you."

"Well you don't need to threaten them."

"Duly noted"

[l3xdrigo]

Since it's my birthday today and whatnot, this is gonna be a special post :D. I'm gonna show some drabbles and short stories that I've been wanting to share for a while so enjoy.

(also thank you to that one moot(@acesw) that has probably read most of these already and has suffered through my ramblings, appreciate you a lot<3)

(Most of these are Vernetto and Vertin-centric cuz they've been taking over my mind for months)

"Familiar"

It's over, the fight between the storm and Manus, it was all over. Many are bloodied, injured and tired yet cheered for their victory. Just outside the Manus's hide out was a new world that will greet them, time will no longer move backwards yet only forward. Opening the door, many arcanist and some humans alike rushes out, yet a figure stood still in front of the open door. What a familiar sight, someone steps outside and looks back and holds out their hand "Timekeeper.. It's okay now, we won, let's go and see the outside world together. Where we are all free" Vertin gave a smile, a somber smile, "I would love that.. but unfortunately I can't join you.."

A click inside the darkness of the building

" I'm sorry Sonetto, enjoy your freedom"

A loud bang echoed into the walls.

doesn't this feel so familiar for you, little puppy.

Sonetto was in a state of shock, her mind not processing what happened as the blood seeped out and spread. "Sonetto! What are you standing there for, come get Vertin and come over here" Lilya was the one who shouted, being meters away from them but her voice still reached her ears. Then, the whole situation sinked in... Sonetto dropped to her knees as it seemed all the strength left in her body was gone.

The hound couldn't protect her, it's bellwether.

(Or the foundation didn't need their timekeeper anymore, so time to let her rest)

"Aftermath"

The last drop of rain had risen and the sun began to rise, the storm was over. Bodies gone and only clothing was left, the Manus's dark ink-like substance stained the concrete ground. After grueling hours and days of fighting, it was all over, time is moving forward again, both sides had an abundance of followers and martyrs fighting for two seperate cause, they all fought rigorously yet only one remained.

Vertin on her knees stayed there, unable to move as fatigue and the strain of injuries took a toll, but also loneliness. She fought side by side with her team, her family, her herd but she was the only one remaining. Sotheby, Lilya,Regulus, Ms. Druvis, Mr. Apple.. Sonetto, they were all gone, her suitcase was destroyed, the arcanist and humans she's grown accustomed to were also gone. Was it worth it? For the mission of returning to the present but to lose everything to the past.

"One man shall fall and one man shall live to bear the consequences of thy sins" were the last words that left Arcana; the mission is over, take off your hat and face the scene in front, repent and walk to the light, a new tomorrow awaits you, Vertin.

("Are we all alone once again"- The Gleaming)

"Longing"

Sonetto was walking through the halls, passing staff members and managers and exchanging greetings. She was called to get on set today as they needed to record a new scene for the show "Reverse 1999"

Being a part of this project has been great, she's met a lot of directors and producers with a platter of amazing ideas, actors who have made some show-stopping scenes with their talents and.. as she opens the door, there she is. Vertin, with her ash-gray hair tied up in a messy bun, wearing her outfit as the Timekeeper of the show, just minus the coat, talking with one of the managers, smiling and giggling at times as they both talk about how a recent interview went. Oh how gorgeous she was, even after all these years, Vertin was still the one who holds Sonetto's heart captive and it's both a heart warming yet painful feeling.

Both of them have been friends since they were 4, it took Sonetto to grow fond of Vertin as she's been known to be quite a troublemaker but eventually she warmed up to her antics, even if she had to get her out of them most of the time. They both shared a passion for arts and literature, they were interested in theater and would watch them as their bond grew more and more throughout the years. Those times had to end however, as Sonetto flew abroad for college, leaving Vertin and the rest of her friends behind. She's gotten busy and due to that, both her and Vertin have somewhat drifted away from each other, the regret is still eating her even today, to be able to go back in time and fix that mistake. Now, Vertin has grown into an amazing actress and also has made a lot of new friends, she's met some of them, like a girl named Schneider, a bit of a flirt but she's great. There were times where she has gotten a bit envious of their bond, to be able to be so close to Vertin and not feel like her airways collapsed when she tried to utter a word.

She's here now but the distance still feels far, funny isn't it, she thought, 'how are characters we play fight against the reversal of time yet all I want is to go back and experience the past we had before' Sonetto could only sigh deeply, taking one last glance before one of the staff had called her, maybe she wasn't so different from the character she plays.

(Or maybe it wasn't just the lack of communication but another event that left them distant; actor au)

"How the moon states at the sun"

Vertin stared at Sonetto as she smiles in the sunlight, gently reaching out to a butterfly. Sonetto looked ethereal, her orange hair slightly flowing in the wind, green eyes almost shining as brightly as the sun. Vertin knew how beautiful Sonetto was before ever since they were children of the foundation but right now really proved that thought a hundred times more. Warmth spreading to her cheeks as she just stared at her for what felt like an eternity but the moment Sonetto looked back at her, she immediately hid behind the safety of her hat.

"Timekeeper, are you alright?"

"... yes Sonetto, I am fine"

Sonetto tilted her head a bit, like a curious puppy who's also worried. It took a while for the "stoic" timekeeper to regain her composure again, though still feeling her heart beating like a drum.

"Let's go back shall we, Sonetto"

"Of course timekeeper!"

Sonetto happily followed as Vertin gave a small smile;the moon cannot shine without its sun.

(Look, lesbians)

"Reversed"

Vertin fought against forget me not and some manus followers, both are in equal battle but Fmn has the upper hand, catching Vertin off guard and using an attack that exploded a chunk of the right side of her head to bits. Her body falls to the ground, blood seeping almost immediately as in Fmn eyes, he won, she's dead, there's no way she could get up now, the deep wounds of the fight and a good chunk of her head and skull destroyed, she's dead. They retreat as the storm is here, leaving the timekeeper's body to rot.

As raindrops rise from the ground, it hits the corpse, but instead of just rising to the top, some of the raindrops were starting to affect the body. Vertin is immune to the storm's effects, but it seems that some part of that was false. Colorful liquid like substance starts to form on the sounds and the side of her head, being reversed to their original state, slowly but surely. Reversing the atoms and nerves and bringing life to her once more. She awoke again after a while, breathing heavily as the storm do it's job. Slightly touching the side of her head that was originally exploded, it still feels like liquid but she can feel some part of the bones restoring, it's best not to touch it as it actually quite hurts. Slowly getting up, and seeing the Manus nowhere to be found, she needs to head back to her team, she's worried that the Manus might try to do something.

Fmn attacks were getting stronger as the timekeeper squad casted incantation after incantation, just when Forget me not was going to land a tremendous attack, a strong attack from behind the head was enough to knock him out. The group looked at the source of the attack and spotted a familiar blue hat, Vertin stood there, clothes bloodied and parts of her body weirdly had clusters of colorful liquid. They stared for a moment, not really knowing how to process.

"I'm guessing you would like to know what happened?"

"I- YES WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW"

Regulus quickly answered back, Vertin internally sighed, this is going to be a long explanation.

(Vertin being able to heal in the storm was an interesting idea I've had)

"Clinging onto a thread"

As Vertin, Regulus, Sonetto, Mr. Apple and lilya are walking to Madam Z's office after getting back from the island and that god-forsaken first field mission, Vertin speaks up.

"Umm...Regulus, you know it's okay to let go of me now right? "

Regulus could be seen clinging onto Vertin's left arm and Mr. Apple was holding onto a small part of Vertin's hat, she shook her head.

"Nah mate, from the amount of bull crap we just went through, I'm not letting you go. And besides, I'm not the only one clinging to you"

At her right, Sonetto could also be seen clutching at her arm, looking somewhat calm but the way she firmly holds her arm says otherwise.

Vertin just stays silent for a while, and continues to walk. It would be pretty hypocritical of her to make them let go, as she herself has been holding Lilya's hand, the eagle has been guiding them back the entire time.

(It's crazy to think that the island thing was their first-field mission)

"Can you please stop taking their timekeeper away every 5 minutes"

The timekeeper squad was in Madam Z's room, currently talking about some important matters as there was a knock on the door, Madam Z gave the permission to enter as a foundation staff walked into the room.

"excuse me Madam Z, we need to take the Timekeeper for a few moments to evaluate some reports about the recent storm."

The staff was immediately bombarded with questions.

Regulus: You're taking her already?? When will she come back?

Foundation staff: in maybe a few hours

Lilya: And how long are those "few" hours?

Foundation staff: it is estimated to be around 1 or 2 if the evaluation goes smoothly

Sotheby: You're not going to bring her anywhere else right?

Foundation staff: of course not, just to the research Center.

Druvis: After the evaluation, is there anything else she would do after?

Foundation staff: umm,, it depends but I'm certain that it's only an evaluation, nothing more after that.

The foundation staff looks at Madam Z if she can take the timekeeper who's been standing next to the foundation staff and seemingly waiting patiently.

"Just let her take her leave as soon as the evaluation is over, but other than that, yes the both of you may be excused."

The two left the room and it felt very awkward. Vertin apologized for what happened, telling the poor staff that they were just worried about her after the recent events, the staff brushed it off, saying that it's fine. Though deep inside it was incredibly scary, even the Apple seemed intimidating.

(Can we please stop taking their timekeeper away, they need her as much as she needs them🥹)

"Sleeping in"

Vertin slowly woke up, the fresh sunlight hitting here skin through the windowsill of her room. It's been a few days since the disastrous mission that her team just went through, being put on break as all recovers. Something was missing, or she should say someone, getting up groggily, she drags her body out of bed and outside her room. After walking in the suitcase for a bit, she spots what she was missing, Sonetto.

She spotted her right away and was about to greet her when Vertin wrapped her arms around her waist, bringing her to a hug. Sonetto lets out a small squeak from the unexpected action but quickly recovers and wraps her arms around her as well. "Are you still tired? " the timekeeper only let out a small hum as a response, the two have gotten closer since that mission, finding it hard when both were seperated, so the two prompted to sleep in together, not like both of them minded it(Sonetto was a flustered mess at first but hey, she's fine) . Finding comfort and solace with one another, through their aching pains and injuries, both have enjoyed each other's company and warmth.

Sonetto looks at one of the clocks for the time, it still seems too early for the two of them to be up, the rest of their team still asleep. "It seems a bit too early for you to be up timekeeper, would you like to head back to bed?" Earning another hum from the timekeeper, both make their way back to the bedroom. Maybe sleeping in wouldn't be so bad, they are on break after all.

(They deserve some eepy and cuddles. Again, lesbians)

(Idk if I'll add more to this later but damn this took a while)

[junee-e]

A NEW PENUMBRA EPISODE HAS RISEN!!!! TIME TO THROW MY THOUGHTS INTO THE ABYSS!!!! random thoughts and ramblings follow :D

I AM SO READY FOR DETECTIVE RITA YOU HAVE NO IDEA

OH SHIT WILL SHE BE NARRATING PLEASE TELL ME SHES NARRATING

HER DETECTIVE VOICE IS SO FUN IM SO DEAD

why is she better at this than juno this is going so much better than his attempt

‘WATCH THIS’ * keyboard tapping noises* (i love her)

of course she gets paid in cereal i dont know what i expected

oh ok no junos still narrating

‘THE MAN I LOVED WAS ON THE LINE’ (this will never get old for me)

‘my name is juno steel and *usually* im the private eye’ i am enjoying this way too much

ok why do i love skipper they’re so fun?

‘he just ruins the *peaceful vibes*’ so real so real

HE TOOK THE FUCKING FLOWERS I SWEAR TO GOD

rita. had. dinner with them. oh my god. she is the best.

the mother speaking for the grandfather in like such an annoyed voice and then being so calm with ‘or so father says’ is so funny to me

skippers so dramatic i love them

‘SHUT UP DEAREST’ LMAOO

ooooooo did skipper help nureyev?? wait no thats too obvious….or it is just obvious enough to be right????…..no its isnt….or is it???? (im going insane)

‘he makes friends or.. more than friends and he uses those connections to his advantage’ OH SHIT (skipper???? skipper?? skipper kinda makes sense???) (but like yknow…obvious option)

‘watch skippers reaction in particular’ AHAHA!

OOOO ARE WE GONNA GET RITA NUREYEV INTERACTIONS PLEASE OH MY GOD

‘mostly i was thinking about nureyev’ *cue me falling off my chair at the instant romantic soundtrack that apparently follows nureyev’s name everywhere now*

roomantiic moonoolougueee tiimmee

GRIMMS MASK EPISDOE CALL BACK OH I AM NOT READY

‘another love’ ITS FOR HIS JOB ISNT IT ISTG

OH ITS FOR FUCKING HYPERION CITY OHHHHH SHIT

why does this remind me of the monolouge at the end of final resting place (end of the first season)

‘it wasnt a very nice city but hell im not a very nice lady’ vs ‘this is my city. im not proud of it but that doesnt mean its not worth saving’

there are so many things this season that are setting up to be broken (probably not the right word) but like so many things that have potential for a really sad/angsty pay off. like nureyev and slip or juno telling nureyev he’ll keep following him untl he says he doesnt want him to. or juno and missing hyperion city. i’m so scared.

oh ritas so dramatic its making me so happy

HE TOOK THE ORCHIDS !!!!!

ITS THE MOTHER????

of course she had an inflatable couch in her hideout spot

ooooo its juno detective-ing explain-ing time

juno obsessing over detective stuff is so fun

a CoNfEsSiOn

‘im tired of you people…and also just tired’ skipper being way too relatable

OH SHIT NUREYEV DIDNT TAKE THE FLOWERS???

SOMEONE TOOK THE FLOWERS FOR NUREYEV WHAT IS THIS????

OH IT WAS THE GRANDFATHER WHAT???

‘he sent me up to bed early’ ma’am, you are a probably-around-40-or-something-year-old woman

the gibberish is still funny

WHAT HE WAS FUCKING IN LOVE WITH NUREYEV HUH WHAT THATS SO FUNNY

‘we know how this theif operates he grabs you by your heartstrings and never lets go’ yeah rita would know about that with all the agnsty monolouges

WHAT THE FUCK HES TALKING????

WHO SAID HE LOVED HIM??? NUREYEV???? WHAT???

OH FUCK OH SHIT OH NO OH GOD ‘he said hed come back for me he said we’d run away together’ OHHHH NO NO NO NO NO. NO LONGER FUNNY

‘well it looks like my work here…is done’ *very fast tapping of rita walking away*

OH WAIT SHE CAME BACK TO ACTUALLY HELP JUNO LMAOO

awwww they’re all back together!

A TRACKER A TRACKER HE GOT IT ON NUREYEV AHAHAHA

THEY KNOW WHERE THE DOKANA GROUP IS LETS GO

oh ok fuck i thought we were done how foolish of me there hadnt been a sad speech yet

‘i knew he hadnt done the same to me’ OH THANK GOD OKOK

‘he meant the promises he made me’ AWW YAY

wait no its sad oh god oh no

‘problems for another day, i thought’ best coping method fr fr

‘the rest we’d just have to figure out together’ yay ok happy-ish ending :D

okok so alot of thoughts. i’m so scared of all the set-ups for angst and honestly i’m kinda just waiting for the episode that it all comes crashing down and everyones really sad. but also! hopefullness! juno saying that he’ll figure it out with nureyev! yay! i honestly don’t know how the big climax finally thing with jupeter and slip and the dokana group and everything is going to go i’m just really hoping for an eventual happy ending with happy jupeter (and rita there too :D)

anyway! loved this episode can’t wait for the next one with (i’m assuming) stuff with the Dokana group!!

[spopsalt]

Hi!!

This will be a bit more of a personal rant / ramble about spop if that's okay!

So like I was around 11 when the first season of spop came out. My sister followed Nate and was very excited for the project so we watched it, and we both really liked it!!

So each time every season came out we watched it and came up with fan theories and all that jazz! Keep in mind, we never really rewatched seasons in between. So we watched season 2, waited around half year and then watch season 3 when it came out. So we never watched season 2 again in between those months. This makes it that you forget some things, but that was alright.

I think this is the way the show is meant to be watched. It was enjoyable, we came up with theories, we came up with ships, we bonded with the characters. Season 4 was my favourite season because of all the tension and drama!!

And then well, season 5 was a bit of a letdown, but yeah sure! That's fine, y'know. I am not a shipper at all, my sister is aware at this point that her ships are never really popular so she didn't have her hopes up (she ships glimmadora). She also followed Nate so she knew that he liked c//a and stuff.

Anyways, when the show was finished, people really started watching it because of the lgbt representation. This always felt weird to me? It didn't make sense? I didn't watch Spop with the idea in mind that c//a would become canon in the end. Which made the show a whole lot easier to watch.

I also felt like.. it wasn't really the point of the show at all? There was just a kiss at the end that was about the romance the show had gotten, I didn't get it (im aromantic asexual so maybe that's why).

I have a lesbian friend (they/she) for example, who watched the show for c//a. Which is fine, they really like it and they relate to c/tra, due to trauma and stuff. It's just that it felt so.. weird talking to them about the show. Because everything about the show kinda felt like it was about c//a for them? Just like how you anti-spop blogs talk about how c//a shippers can make any scene about c//a. That's how it felt. Now I didn't really mind, but it felt odd to me.

Either way. At some point, me and my sister finally convinced my other sister to join our rewatch. Which was,, tough. Well, it was alright, in the sense that, I just focused on my favourite characters and (platonic) relationships. (Entrapta! Scorpia! Glimmer!! Adora!!! :D!!)

But the c//a kiss at the end made me physically cringe. (Literally)

I don't really have a point to make! I just believe that Spop isn't meant to be binge-watched? I feel like? I really really enjoyed my first watch, and I have very conflicted feelings about it (due to nostalgia too. dt being the first enban ive ever seen on tv?? mindblowing!!).

I like it. But also as an emotional abuse survivor, it also is just.. tough. All in all it's just, a bit, disappointing?

I guess that's it :) that's my ramble.

I'm not sure if anyone has any similar experiences, as pretty much everyone I know watched it after all seasons came out and it has risen in popularity.

Have a nice day!! Love ur blog

Awwwww thanks for your kind words, also it's ok, the ask buttons says "Rant with Me!" for that reason, I love hearing rants! But yeah, I personally was never that big of a fan, but it's good that you like it! But yeah the representation is definitely bad, the only bisexual character get in m x f ships, which is fine, ofc bisexual people don't have to date only people of the same gender, but...they never show attraction towards other people of the same gender?! The only bi characters get in m x f ships, one of them was extremely rushed, and one of them was creepy considering it looked like an adult dating a teen. Also the main couple is literally just a victim falling back into the cycle and kissing her sister who literally gave her trauma.

[that-angry-noldo]

*cackles* oh I'm so glad you liked the Finrod reveal ramble, I was a little hesitant bc some people get a bit HOW DARE when other people do more than ask questions.

I wasn't meaning to imply Fingon was demanding or telling Mae what to do, more that he was being another voice for Mae to consider? And a new ear/shoulder for him to speak to about this? Like, you know when you KNOW you should do something, and it's really hard and it WILL hurt, so you're trying to do everything BUT that until you talk to a friend or family member and it clarifies and untangles the situation in your head so you can finally FINALLY make the choice you need to?

I see Fingon as one of the people Mae has for this. (He is Mae's favorite rubber duck) And Maglor obviously, but a sibling is too close for that sometimes. Fingon was outside the situation.

OH WOW YEAH Maedhros is gonna have some ISSUES when he realizes he's been treating his cousin like a pet. Having undergone his own horrific dehumanization and torture, it's gonna make him feel horrible to have unwittingly done the same to his cousin.

This is obviously NOT actually his fault, there was no way he could know that this was FINROD, but ptsd does not respond to logic.

I'm picturing him sitting beside a thoroughly unconscious Finrod all blank faced and torturing himself by going over every SINGLE interaction he had with wolf!Finrod desperately wondering how he MISSED THIS.

Maglor is no help, he's doing the same thing. Fingon is juggling both of their responsibilities probably for a few days, while also being beside himself about this.

Finrod is in a healer concoction induced sleep, floating in a lovely pain free cloud right now, and is unavailable for comment.

Meanwhile Fingon is ALSO trying to think about what to tell Finrod's SISTER probably. How d'you draft THAT letter? 'Hey Artanis, so you know how everyone said Finrod died...' O__O;;; (Really, he probably won't write it into a letter, not if they're gonna keep this on the down low, it could be intercepted, but it's a fun image)

please i now can only picture this

Fingon, rolling into Himring: yodeley my dudes how it's going? how's it rolling??

Maedhros, in the middle of existential crisis: fingon HELP me to DEAL with the MORALS

also have you looked into my brain because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. maedhros sitting near finrod's bed not being able to think about anything else

anyways i'm gonna say it. maglor's guilt strikes ten times harder because he literally proposed to slit werefinrod's throat when they first captured him so. KEKW I GUESS

i could've given finrod a healer induced sleep because imo he deserves it, but i'm gonna give him sauron induced nightmares/visions instead because i'm evil :D

ALSO YEAH DECIDING ON WHO AND WHAT TO TELL IS A MAJOR THING MAE AND FINNO HAVE TO DO

they decide not to tell anyone yet, at least not before finrod comes to his senses. but if they were to draft a letter it would look like this:

Hey. Yeah it's about your brother. Yeah a dead one. So about him, you might want to recall a funeral. Yeah. No yeah he was risen from dead. No no he's not a zombie. No he's. Um. He's a werewolf. Yeah like a shapeshifting one. So uh. Congrats?... Sorry. Yeah. Maedhros's been feeding him well though. No?... Oh. Alright. No yeah I understand. Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

meanwhile galadriel in menegroth is like. i feel a great disturbance in the force-

and PLEASE i ENJOY getting asks like these, i'm always open to asks about my aus or fics or silmarillion in general! it's basically if someone wrote it down instead of me and i'm always exited to read them

[giggly-squiggily]

Ooo I noticed that fic prompts are open! If I may, maybe a fic with lee kurapika and ler leorio where kurapika is feeling down and leorio tries to cheer him up?

My BABIES! I love these two so much! I've gotcha covered friends! (and Thanks bestie! I'm glad you like it! :D)

“I’m alright, Leorio.” Kurapika tried to shoo the other away, shifting in his seat as Leorio gathered up his leg. “It was just a fall.”

“A three foot drop down a rocky cliff side is not “just a fall.” Leorio argued, hands gentle as he rolled up the pant leg, inspecting the skin. “You almost died! Hunter or not, you have to be more careful.” With the injured flesh in sight, he gently pressed into the skin, looking for broken bones. “What happened anyway?”

“I don’t know, I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” Kurapika muttered, suddenly feeling guilty for worrying the other.

Something in his voice must have caught Leorio’s attention- the doctor looked up at him with furrowed brows. “That’s unusual for you.”

He supposed it was. He closed his eyes, reflexing on today’s events as he tried to figure out just what went wrong.

He was walking with the boys along the trail, nodding along to Gon and Killua’s ramblings and Leorio’s funny banter. It was all so peaceful and soothing.

And painfully familiar.

Trails and hikes like this reminded him of the Kurta clan. Of Pairo when he was still alive, pointing out various places and asking Kurapika to describe them to him so he could paint a picture in his mind. He remembered the sound of his people’s laughter as they shared stories around a campfire, a small competition on who could impress the Clan Elder.

It hit him like a truck, and he felt himself start to sway.

That’s when the world suddenly rotated, and he felt himself hitting hard, cold earth. Leorio was screaming his name, the boys rushing down the hill to get to him. He hadn’t even realized he fell.

“Hey, ‘Pika…” Leorio’s hand was on his knee, shaking him free from the memory. When he looked up, Leorio was watching him with careful eyes. “Are you okay?”

No, no he wasn’t.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled, the gesture so forced it hurt.

Leorio nodded, turning his attention back to the other’s leg. His body was tense with questions, but none passed over his lips.

For a short period of time, a tense silence passed between the two, Leorio tending to the smaller bruises and cuts while Kurapika willed his thoughts to ease. He really needed to pull it together.

A sudden brush against his toes made him jump with a gasp.

“Whoops, sorry!” Leorio waved a hand, peeking at the other with a sheepish grin. “Just checking your reflexes.”

“My reflexes? What do you-eh!” He jerked once more when Leorio ran a finger up his foot. The touch was more deliberate this time, and in turn- far more ticklish. “L-Leorio, stop that! You don’t need to do that!”

“But of course I do! What doctor would I be if I didn’t give you a proper checkup?” He was grinning that smug, cheshire grin of his, his open hand coming around Kurapika’s ankle as the other danced along the blonde’s sole, making Kurapika squirmed. “So far so good- hold still ‘Pika.”

“G-Get ohohohff! Leahahhahario!” Kurapika yelped, trying in vain to pull his leg free. Reluctant giggles had risen to his lips, and he fought to keep them down as he cheeks stained red. “Doohohohn’t!”

“Aww, is someone a little ticklish?” Leorio cooed, continuing to gently scratch at the other’s foot, enjoying the little yelps and laughs Kurapika couldn’t hold back. Deciding to be mean, he let the hand holding his ankle wander up until it was resting on his knee, spidering gently against the skin. “What about here hm? Or here?”

“Lehehehehhahhahahahario, enohohoohohoohohugh! Aheahahahhhahaha! I’hihihiihiihihm fihihihihiihne!” To prove it, Kurapika kicked with his other leg.

This only proved to worsen his situation, for now Leorio had both his legs.

“Ooo, feisty aren’t you? Well- I DO need to check your other foot- make sure you still got your toes!” He poked gently at the digits, earning loud squeaky giggles from the blonde. “Yep, that one’s there, and that one, that one looks a bit odd. We’ll need to investigate it more.”

“LEHEHEHEHAHAHHARIO!” Kurapika cried, nearly falling out of his chair. His face was on fire, and it started to ache from how much he was smiling.

His chest felt oddly light though. Lighter than it was before.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of squeals for mercy, and Kurapika actually falling out of his chair, Leorio finally let him go. Snatching his legs back, the blonde wheezed against the cool flooring as he glared daggers towards the grinning doctor. “Nohohohot…fahhaiar.” He fumed, making the other hoot.

“You loved it! Don’t deny it!” Leorio snorted as he lowered himself beside him, reaching out and patting Kurapika’s hair. “Seriously though…it seemed like you needed it. I don’t like seeing you so sad.”

Kurapika blinked, taken aback. He peeked up at his friend, noting the growing flush on his neck as he averted his eyes. The hand on his hair was gentle, lightly stroking the disheveled bangs. He started to smile. “Hey, Leo?”

Leorio looked back, and Kurapika gestured him down. Once he was within reach, he tugged on his tie as he reached up, kissing his cheek.

“Thanks. I needed that.” He smiled at the blushing doctor, closing his eyes and letting himself become of ease once more.

I hope this was good!

Cloud 9 (Taglist)

@thatbigbisexual29 , @duckymcdoorknob , @baby-tickles2022

[macabremoons]

𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

This is for the works I publish on Tumblr, but they will be crossposted to my AO3 and Wattpad.

𝕾𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖙 𝕱𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓:

♡ Pretentious Poetry ; link ; Project Daycycle ; Modern AU Benodora ship fic

♡ Forevermore ; link ; Project Forevermore ; concept

♡ Even Forever Takes Breaks ; link ; Project Forevermore ; concept

♡ Midas' Prologue ; link ; Project Forevermore ; concept

𝕷𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝕱𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓:

♡ Hasn't risen from it's grave yet!

𝖙𝖆𝖌 𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖟𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓:

My tags will be tagged before for easy convivence!

My bloody masterpieces is for all of my finished work! My writing is for my writing in general, which includes snippets and snippets from tag games.

Bloody rambles is me speaking! Extra bloody rambles is my rant tag

All project names will be the full working title. Keep in mind that these working titles are just that, and the actual name of the work will change.

All character names will be sorted as project - acronym - character, like "p. d: menodora" is "project daycycle: menodora"

All finished works will have their own tag that's my bloody masterpiece: work name. This is so people can easily see me talk about that work after it is done.

[abidethetempest]

Rise and Fall Ch 1 Retrospective

I've been wanting to do little behind the scenes style posts for my fics for EVER, and now i finally have a platform to do it >:D prepare to be subjected to my ramblings!!!! (link to the fic btw)

long ass post below the cut:

General Notes:

chapter 1 of any fic for me is both very fun and very nervewracking. writing the start of a project that I've been brainstorming for a long time can go one of two ways: i have All The Ideas right away and it comes out in one session, or i spend 600 years agonizing abt my ~vision~ and making sure everything is perfect. this fic was decidely the second. part of this is because im a big dumb idiot and planned everything except the opening for literal years. it took me probably 3 months just to get thru the intro stuff and feel like it was good enough to move on, let alone post.

Stuff I Cut:

unfortunately, there is actually a lot more i wish i could have included, but didn't for the sake of pacing. i wanted this section to include more of Risen's time alone on the road, her isolation from post-collapse society, and her deeply held guilt abt her role and self-percieved failures as a Lightbearer. i'd love to write some one-shots or little scenes about it! I wish we got to see more of what it would be like for a Lightbearer in the dark age that didnt want to be a Warlord, since timeline-wise we don't really see the emergence of the modern Guardian archetype until the Iron Lords or the early Titan orders. We hear abt it some from Drifter, but he is understandably reticent to speak on his past so we don't get much. Risen as a character feels very strongly about her purpose as the "Traveler's warrior", something that will be touched on next chapter, but she struggles to reconcile who she wants to be with the reality around her. The aftermath of this gets explored as time goes on, but i do want to revisit her very early days of life as a new light someday.

The Sanctuary:

the mission that Risen and Ghost are on at the beginning of this fic is,,,,, entirely made up by me, it's not from canon or remotely related to anything in the lore (as far as i know, at least). They're chasing rumors, driven by Risen's desperation for someplace to find a family and a purpose, and by Ghost's desire to keep Risen away from danger. I just needed a reason for them to be on the move.

The Town:

The town scene is... *sigh*. I struggled with it a lot. In part because it, AGAIN, was not something i had ever planned for until i actually sat down to write. I needed a scene to show Risen's desire to be a protector of others conflicting with her current modus operandi. I still feel like it's too on the nose when she talks to Ghost at the inn but sometimes you just gotta spell it out i think. Her reaction after running came out as I wanted, though. While running away to fight another day might be the logical choice, Risen definitely is the type to carry her guilt with her forever even if it was the "right decision". Risen:

I LOVE Ghost as a character. I want more Ghosts that are flawed, angry, hurt. More Ghosts who are afraid maybe none of the fighting and death is worth it. More Ghosts who go thru just as much development as their Guardians, please. I find it interesting that, as the first contact a Guardian has and their constant companion, a Ghost has a big influence over their Guardian's early development, and I want to see it explored more how they could push their Guardian down one path or another.

Warlords:

In case anyone is wondering, the Warlords in this fic are entirely OCs. The destiny timeline already gives me hives, I am NOT abt to try and find some canon characters to use in this fic when I can just.... make them myself. Warlords are such cool concepts! I want more lore about them (and the Dark Age in general).

I think thats all I have for now! Thanks for reading (assuming anyone is reading these lol)

[haptureratch]

some delirious ramblings (emotional)

*in the "blink-182 dude" voice* YEAH DUDE IT'S PMDD WEEK DUDE THERE IS NO ESCAPING IT DUDE LET'S GET DARK LET'S GET DESOLATE LET'S FUCKIN DIE DUDE (not really)

It's just hitting this week. F in the chat for Jess in her teens and 20s who had literally no idea what was going on and every month thought her life and every single relationship in it was falling apart. She had no fucking idea what was happening or how to help it. The speeding, the Vicar, the promiscuity. Fucking ANYTHING to escape that hell.

It's still hard but I can hold space for it now.

I literally want to go meditate in Rothko before or after work tomorrow. Jesus christ. It is not a want it is a need. Fuming nostrils emoji.

Also, just now, I thought I was slipping back into my fever dream until I realized my house temp had risen to 76. I set that hoe to 74. Jesus christ.

And I think of him... again.... of course.

I think he's giving me what I asked for. I never asked for anything in particular. But I did, from the end of my wits, lament all the lost sleep and pounds (6 of them lol) and declare I had to get back to a routine. He probably heard that as "fuck off my guy I have had too much of you" -- maybe. I hope not. But he's probably giving me the space he thought I asked for. What did I even ask for? I don't know. But I don't like this. But just in case he is having 2nd thoughts and pulling away, I don't want to chase after him and make it worse. So I will suffer in silence and simply pass away.

I had a moment in the shower (as I often do), I think before I sang out "Into the Ocean" by Blue October completely unassisted (I let my phone die with gratitude and did not have shower jams tonight), and I was like "Steven wouldn't do that. Even though I get scared he's just another of THEM, he's not. He wouldn't ignore me on purpose." I felt a little better but still cried to my own rendition of "Into the Ocean" because that shit just hits every time. It hits without end. Amen.

He did ask what he could do to help me during this time when I first brought up PMDD. I said I didn't know. I'm so dumb. I just loooooooooooooove to sabotage myself as much as I love microplastics and red 40 lake mmmmmmmm delicious . d i v i n e d a r l i n g . [ me to me: CAN U NOT DO THAT-- CAN YOU JUST LET SOMEONE BOTH SEE AND HELP YOU ]

Maybe I'll finally do the online course I bought for like $118 about core negative beliefs when I quit residency. The content is still there. I definitely mapped out the lessons and time commitment (long before I met Steven).

Look at me journaling again, though. I would have had a good meal and worked out too but that god damn CLINIC ugh. As much as I want to take a pill (AND RUN ! JUST AS FAST AS I CAN ! TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE ! TO MIDDLE OF MY FRUSTRATED FEARS AND I SWEAR !) and go to sleep right now, I should try to eat something. I just wish it wasn't fucking TEN PM WTF

[legacyofacat]

[11] Where Your Core Rests (Kongō x Reader)

Can also be found on Ao3 (completed), Wattpad, FanFiction.net and DA.

First Next Last

Eye of the Storm

The storm had caught up to them in the night.

It came over them with thunder, raging waves and punishing winds, scaring Luigi half to death and making the human squeal more than once.

Nagara and Kongō had deployed their Klein Fields for them to take the brunt of the force, the light cruiser moving in the wake of her flagship in order to get through the sea more easily.

"Will Nagara be alright?", the human had huddled down in the back of Kongō's bridge with the cat and about five blankets, blinking out of their cocoon.

"She has shouldered worse."

"But she already got sunk once…"

Kongō uncrossed her arms, turned from the windows and sat down beside her passengers against the wall: "Storms don't use thanatonium."

Said passenger unfurled their arms from the layers of fabric like a little octopus and, in a moment of bravery, tugged Kongō inside, not letting her arm go even as they leaned against each other: "What's thanatonium?"

"The material we use to make corrosive torpedoes."

"It makes you people rust? That’s like rotting away while alive!", they, immediately understanding what the "corrosive" stood for, exclaimed, shocked.

Kongō didn’t do anything for a while, just stared.

If they put it like that, then thanatonium suddenly sounded really bad.

In an attempt to make the torpedoes less severe sounding (and against better judgement) Kongō blurted out: "That sounds more like a vibration warhead."

Even Luigi perked his head up now, eyes dark.

Why do you look angrier than them?

He didn't even know what corrosion was!

Kongō tugged the blankets tighter around them to busy herself: "Don't worry, they aren’t a threat anymore."

Not if Kamikage knew what was good for him, at least.

Still, the human didn't seem particularly comforted by that: "But that's still terrible…"

The other sighed and pulled them closer when a booming thunder made them jolt and Luigi disappear again: "Both weapons need to get through our Klein Field first."

"So nothing will happen to you?", they muttered, pressing against Kongō.

"Nothing will happen to me."

They inched even closer, absorbing what little warmth Kongō's Union Core naturally produced.

Did they believe her? Absolutely; they had almost as much confidence in her as the fast battleship in herself, but what if an accident occurred? What if she and Nagara got tricked? Or what if they got lured into a-

All thought processes stopped at once when a weight landed on the human's head for a minute.

Looking up, they could only see soft red eyes shimmering down at them and silky pale blonde.

Kongō's smile shifted a bit into an amused grin as a blush rose to the human's cheek: "D-did you just?!"

"Whatever do you mean? I merely stopped your rambling."

She knew exactly what they meant, of course.

They slumped forwards, face beat red and burying it in their hands while wailing, storm forgotten.

Some hours later, the sun had risen again, the storm subsided and all three could stay on the upper deck again while Nagara played in the water.

"So", the human cleared their throat, a light pink shimmer still on their cheeks, "since we're almost there, what are we going to search for?"

"Once more the answer is 'I don't know'."

Which, admittedly, was fair, because just like when they had found the piece of nanomaterial, they had absolutely zero useful clues.

"Though, since USS Arizona was preserved as memorial ship", before the rising sea levels snatched her like they did Mikasa, at least, "I thought about searching near her."

"The original one? Is that even useful?"

Kongō's long-suffering look returned and got directed at them.

"Right, 'I don't know', sorry sorry. Is that alright, though? Searching Arizona, I mean?"

"Why shouldn't it be?"

"W-well", they fidgeted, "I don't wanna disrupt anyone's eternal rest…"

It was in that moment that Kongō remembered how her surprisingly intelligent but also extremely confused human worked: "The only rest we might disturb is that of Arizona herself."

That's not good either…, they couldn't help but think, you truly are merciless…

Ignoring that thought, they clapped into their hands once and then beamed cheerfully: "Alright! I hope this is the last clue though – I'm kinda tired of this treasure hunt!"

Kongō was too, in all honesty. She didn't mind a bit of adventure then and now, but she also liked to get things down fast and this was decidedly not fast.

Click 

All three (Luigi was resting on the piano bench) looked over at Nagara.

"She says that she actually enjoyed this", the blonde translated.

Click click

"And that she will be sad when this is over."

"Eh!? Why are you sad, Nagara!?"

What followed was a very sad click.

"..."

The translation didn't come even after a few long moments of waiting, so the human worriedly looked at Kongō, moving to grasp a sleeve to get her attention when they saw her expression.

She wore that blank, slightly frowning, none-saying face she always equipped when putting serious thought in things or being troubled: "...She is of the opinion that you will leave us once we figured everything out."

"I would never! And neither would Lui!", they grabbed Kongō's hand and held it up so that Nagara could see it clear as day, "we cuddled last night, we're holding hands – some people would consider this practically married!"

Might as well go all out with that stupid ass crush, hm? Kongō was on a weirdly flirty trip anyway, so that might be their best chance to get this relationship rolling.

(Also, there wasn't really a home to return to at the moment…)

Nagara let out a cheery row of clicks, which just seemed to be a verbalization of her emotions without any concrete meaning. 

Kongō didn’t let go of their hand when the nerves got too bad and instead leaned closer to their ear to amusedly whisper: "Married?"

Ah, there was the blush again: "Uhm… uhm, I just said that because- w-what is with that sudden flirtiness anyway!?"

For the sake of their heart, Kongō leaned back again: "A character in a book I read recently used to say that, since you never know when it's over, you should be honest with your feelings at all times – so I'm trying a few things out."

"W-what are 'a few things'?"

She had the nerve to wink.

Ojō-sama!?

[imorphemi]

eyyy the chain (minus time) being gremlins comic has reached first place in “my art with most notes” (that is, it passed 1k notes without me noticing)

glad to know it’s at least one i like and has spent a decent amount of time on

[thedevilrisen]

it’s 5am go back to sleep with jack hughes and platonic luke hughes

dating jack and him waking you up on christmas morning super early and you trying to go bakc to sleep and cuddle in bed but him still trying to get you to get up to open presents when luke rushed in jumping on both of them and cuddling with his brother and future sister in law telling them to get up and she gets up for luke almost right away making jack pout the fact his girlfriend favorite is his little brother

Of course! I hope you enjoy it angel!

"Y/N, baby, baby."

"Mhm-phf." you groaned as Jack rolled on top of your small frame.

"It's Christmas, we have to get up, we have to see if Santa came." he spoke in an excited childish tone. You rolled your eyes at his antics, and shuffled out from under him slightly.

"What's the time," you mumbled to yourself, neck craning up to see the red numbers flashing on the 5:00. "Jack Rowden Hughes, it's 5am, go back to sleep!"

"But! It's Christmas! We have to get up and open pres-"

"We can do that."

"YES."

"When it's not 5am."

"AWHH." Jack whined comically.

"Just come here and give me a cuddle for a bit." You opened your arms and with a cute grunt Jack snuggled down into them, arm draping over your waist and head coming to rest in between your boobs.

"That's it, maybe just another hour or so." you whispered stroking your hand through his hair in a vain attempt to sooth his excited self back to sleep.

The attempt was credited vain when the door burst open an in a blur of 6'2 Christmas pyjama clad Hughes, Jack's younger brother Luke flew onto the bed.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS! GET UP WE HAVE TO OPEN PRESENTS!" he screeched, very youngest sibling like. He pulled the covers back and slid in between you two, poking his head up and with a sleep laced smile grinned up at you.

"Good Morning!" He chirped, "can we open presents please?"

"No Luke, it's 5 am go back to sleep!" Jack spoke grouchily.

"Oh Jack, don't be a grouch." you smiled down at Luke fondly. "We can go open presents if you want to Luke!"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, " thanks Y/N," he hugged her, rolled on top of her, out of the bed and took off down the hallway.

You pushed the covers of stood up and slid into your slippers.

"Baby! Are you kidding!" Jack called to you from the bed.

"What? Oh stop pouting!" you told him after seeing his silly facial expression.

"By extension your getting what you want, anyway."

-:-

Hope you enjoy!

[mcytlin]

Motivation struck me and I wrote somethins for my deadly touch au. This is basically Impulse first joining hermitcraft.

967 words

Impulse hasn’t been summoned in… he can’t really remember. It’s been a while.

But he still recognises the tug in his stomach, the whispered call of his name, the sensation of falling through nothing… he sighs, closing his eyes, and surrenders to it. He’s too tired to resist.

Moments later, he finds himself standing on a platform floating in the air, high enough that a drop would kill you, with fireworks still flying and exploding. His wings flutter, and he can see the particles floating around him. Huh. He hadn’t seen those in a while, either.

Standing on the platform with him are two people. They seem surprised, the one with the huge mustache letting out a cry and somewhat hiding behind the other person, who is wearing green armor, along with a helmet that hides their face. In their hand is a book, and if Impulse had to guess he’d say that that’s where they found his summoning spell.

The two share a glance, probably at a loss at what to say, so despite the exhaustion tugging at his bones, he decides to have mercy on them and initiates the conversation.

“I heard my name being called, what’s going on?” he asks, and that seems to break them out of their shock.

“Uhh,” the armored person steps forward, then gestures around them at the swamp biome they were suspended over. “We’re just standing here, looking around at these witch huts, and we…” he trails off, looking back at the mustached man (who was absurdly tall and lanky in Impulse’s humble opinion), but he seems even more confused and lost.

“Well originally there were three of us, but then our friend left the server for a bit because of personal reasons, and Mumbo and I thought it’d be a good idea if we uhm, if we called for some more help?”

Mumbo, as he is apparently called, nods. “Yeah uhm, truth be told we didn’t- we weren’t exactly sure if this was gonna work…”

Impulse chuckles at that. “Yeah, I can tell. You looked like you’d seen a ghost.”

The man chuckles as well. “Uh, yeah I guess we did. We uhm…” he trails off. “Sorry, we don’t really know how to do this. Never really summoned a demon before. How does this work, do we make a deal or…?”

“Yeah, sure. What do you need me for?” Impulse asks, already starting to draw upon his powers. The last time he had used them… Well it has been a long time, and he is tired, but he can still do this.

“Oh, just… building a witch farm or two,” the armored man explains, and immediately Impulse stops.

“Wait. You summoned a demon to help you build a witch farm?”

“Yes…?” he chuckles nervously, as if scared he might’ve offended Impulse somehow. He didn’t, Impulse was just incredibly surprised, as well as confused.

“Well, in that case…” he rubs his forearms, hidden behind his yellow sleeves. “You’re not required to make a deal with me.”

“We’re not?” Mumbo asks, brow risen.

“No, you make deals with demons so they can have access to their powers, but I can build the farms for you without them.”

The two men share a glance, then the armored one (and Impulse really needs to learn his name) speaks again. “Well, that… that doesn’t seem fair though, does it? I mean, if you’re helping us with this, we should offer you something in return?”

And, oh.

That was.

That was nice.

Impulse stares at the man, eyes widened, and he can feel the tears starting to form, so he quickly looks away before they can notice it.

“It’s… it’s fine, really. I mean, I can imagine that making a deal with a supernatural entity can be… worrisome, so-”

“I mean it,” the man says, interrupting Impulse’s rambles. “I’d like to help you as well. What do you need?”

What does he need?

The exhaustion that he had been trying to shove aside since he arrived here seems to return full force. His eyelids are heavy, his limbs sluggish, and he’s just. So. Tired.

“I think I need to sleep,” he mumbles, almost embarrassed. If the armored man is surprised by his request he doesn’t show it, instead nodding.

“Alright, so you build a witch farm for us, and in return you can remain here on hermitcraft until you are properly rested.”

Impulse hums, turning the offer over in his mind, making sure there aren’t any loopholes for either party to exploit.

“What’s your names?” he then asks the man, because for a deal he needs his clients’ names.

“Xisuma Void,” he answers. “Most people call me Xisuma, or X, or a variation of the name. And this over here is Mumbo Jumbo.”

“Alright then. The ender demon ImpulseSV will aid Xisuma Void and Mumbo Jumbo by constructing a functioning witch farm with one of the four aforementioned witch huts. In return, he is allowed to remain on the hermitcraft server until he has a night’s rest. Are both parties in agreement?”

Xisuma inclines his head, likely also analysing the deal. Then he nods, and Mumbo follows his lead.

“Then it’s a deal,” Impulse says, the statement carried by more than just sound. He’s sure the others can feel it too.

“It’s a deal,” Xisuma confirms, and shakes the hand Impulse offered him. The demon barely suppresses a cringe at the contact- it’s fine, he’s not affected, Xisuma is wearing a glove, it’s fine- then they let go again, and Impulse can feel the deal sealing itself into his soul, like all the ones before it.

“Well then,” he says, gesturing towards the protective circle around him. He’s honestly impressed, it’s quite well done, he wouldn’t be able to break it even if he tried. “Will anyone let me out?”

[seokmingiggles]

clematis.

@merakiiverse requested on 210315: "Hihihi as sanlanchan's manager I would love to request a lyric song drabble prompt!! Can I request 31 with Woozi please? 💜"

Song lyric prompt 31: “When you called me, I became your flower.” BTS; Serendipity.

Find the rest of the prompts here!

Pairing: Lee Jihoon x gender neutral reader

Genre: fluff, mutual crushes, college!au if you squint.

1.04k words

No warnings.

“As much as my heart flutters, I’m just as afraid.”

Alternatively, Jihoon is the type of flower that blooms beneath your light. (And sometimes, that light happens even before the sun has risen.)

A/N: Hi, Meraki! Thank you for the request :D It turns out I went in a completely different direction after that day I asked you for your favourite flower. Anyways, I think the scenario that follows somewhat matches the lovely fic you wrote for me the other month. (I still think about that one a lot ;-; thank you again for writing that one for me, wah.) I hope it's okay !!! <3

Here is the song that I used to inspire this fic, along with its lyrics.

•• His phone lights up with a buzz from the side of his bed. Jihoon groans out, the light rousing him from whatever half-asleep state he'd previously been in—tossing and turning for most of the night, only recently finding comfort.

"Why–" the boy's voice croaks out before he clears his throat, eyes squinting when he picks up the device.

Are you awake? I'm hungryyy :((

Jihoon taps his thumbs rapidly: "I'm awake now," he mumbles as he sends his message.

His hands fall to the side of his head, eyes slowly closing once more until he feels the vibration of an incoming call on his palm.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ji, sorry to have woken you," your voice is somewhat hushed across the line.

"It's fine," the boy says despite his forehead creasing, "I'm awake now. Is everything okay?"

He hears you hum as you think.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you begin, "I just can't sleep. And I'm hungry. And, maybe," you draw the word out, "if you're awake too, would you like to come over?"

Every ounce of exhaustion weighing Jihoon down and into his mattress screams out, No, but the soft lilt of your voice raising at the end of your question allows him to say, "Sure," without faltering.

No one else, the boy thinks to himself as he walks across the campus paths and in the direction of your dorms, could allow me to leave the comfort of my duvet at nearly four in the morning.

Well, maybe Soonyoung, his other best friend, could, too. (Although tonight isn't about him.)

The wind at dawn ruffles through Jihoon's hair, already tousled with sleep. Goosebumps tingle along the back of his neck; he pulls his coat tighter around his torso. The sky already seems like it's become lighter with the passing time—soon, the beginnings of the sunrise will emerge from behind the campus buildings.

In no time, Jihoon arrives at your dorm—only a tall door separating him from seeing you. He sends a quick text as a quieter option to knocking.

The door handle slightly rattles before it opens to reveal you: eyes lighting up and a beaming smile already plastered on your face at your greeting.

"Hi," he replies; a small giggle erupts from Jihoon's throat at your eagerness to usher him inside your room. "You're lucky your roommate is away, or else you wouldn't be able to get away with things like this."

"I know," your hand finds your friend's wrist in a gentle clutch as you make your way over to your small couch, fingertips buzzing as you let go of him shortly after.

"Why can't you sleep? Have you slept at all tonight?"

You nod, "I did, but I woke up craving something sweet, so–"

"So you ate—what are those?—chocolates? In the middle of the night?" Jihoon eyes the colourful bag in your grasp, "You know those have caffeine in them, right–"

"I know, I couldn't help myself! I forgot to put them away so there they were: in sight on my desk. And, of course, I couldn't just have one–"

"Why am I here?"

"So you can finish these for me!"

Jihoon exchanges a glance from you to the bag of bite-sized chocolates in your outstretched hand.

When you called him—

"Please?" you add with a smile.

—he became your flower.

Jihoon shakes his head, trying his best to fight the small grin forming upon his lips (but failing miserably at hiding his amusement before you can notice).

You nearly coo at the colour rising to the boy's cheeks.

As if he's drawn to your radiance, your sunshine you beam upon him, Jihoon blooms and opens up another side of himself. It's to you and only you—the place where he can show his true colours, the different petals that make up his exterior; what lies beneath those petals: his soft centre that's more sensitive than he'd openly admit.

Before he knows it, Jihoon has his hand reached inside the bag of chocolates, grabbing a few of the colourful discs in his fist and popping them into his mouth.

I don't even like chocolate very much, especially not at four in the morning.

You lean back with a deep exhale after rambling on about some late-night thought that the boy wouldn't be able to repeat back to you.

It's not that he's not listening to you—your voice calms him, eases him; soft intonations match the dim lighting from a nearby streetlamp illuminating the paths outside.

Something feels different.

Something in the air—something about being in your presence, perhaps—or maybe it's because the sun is beginning to become seen from outside your window: a physical, visible shift before his eyes.

Jihoon allows himself to look over at you as you look out the window.

You're pressed into the backing of the couch, head leaning back and eyes gazing off at nothing in particular. The remnants of a smile could be tasted on your lips.

Along with chocolate, I'm sure, Jihoon mulls over—but no, why is he again thinking about what would be evident on your lips when he knows you don't feel the same way about him–

"Jihoon?"

"Hm?" The boy's heart nearly lurches out of his chest.

"You're staring again."

"Oh—sorry—I just– I think I'm tired, that's all," he shrugs his thoughts away, disposing them along with the disappearing moon.

You lightly chuckle at Jihoon's blatant awkwardness. He may not be the best at conveying what he truly feels, but that doesn't mean you don't find him endearing throughout it all. Other late nights, similar to this, he's always come over after you've called him or sent him a quick message.

The two of you understand each other. Words aren't a necessity—even now, as you and Jihoon bask in the slow ascent of the sun, perhaps akin to sunflowers, facing the rising rays.

You turn to face Jihoon, who is already peering at you with the most gentle of smiles.

His facial features are round, reminding you of a flower whose name does nothing but reside on the tip of your tongue, too far from reach for you to spill from your lips and wash him in your words.

Instead, whichever flower it is—you're positive it captures Jihoon perfectly—you keep it to yourself. 

••

[your-eternal-muse]

Wish I Were....

Heather Series Chapter 12 (FINAL PART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Bonus!:Readers Card Confession Bonus!:To Hold On, To Let Go, Spencers take Bonus!:Series Playlist

Summery: Reader no longer wishes she were someone else

Words: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Description of Birth, just pure, tooth aching fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Y/N: This is it y’all. This is the final chapter of the Heather's Series. I started this journey a little over a month ago, and my god, has it been amazing. I never thought it would pick up the traction it did, and I am so glad I decided to start posting in the first place. I’m gonna take a short break from posting any writing just to recuperate and stuff, but it won’t last longer than a week, and I will still be interacting on the platform itself. I want to thank every single reader who has liked and/or reblogged my work. It means so much to me, and I would not have gotten this far without your support. I love you all with all of my heart. There will be one more bonus “chapter” that I will be posting within the next couple days, but it’ll be mostly headcanons, and answering any questions you may have about the series. I hope the ending is worth it. 

With love, your eternal muse,

Frankie <3

~~~~~

I used to be a night owl.

I used to live in the night, sit under the stars and soak it all up.

I used to not go to bed until hours after the sunset, perfectly content to not waking up until hours after it had risen.

Now, I’m lucky to sleep for a few hours between dusk and dawn.

But I’m okay with that.

The ringing of trembling tears echoes through my ears, and I stir awake.

I rub my face, looking at the clock as I push back the comforter.

4 am.

Oh goody.

“I’ve got her baby, go back to sleep.”

Spencer whispers in my ear, planting a kiss on my shoulder, and I’m not one to argue.

I fall back into the pillows, pulling the blanket back up to my chin, my eyes closing without much resistance.

I wake an hour late, expecting to feel his body warmth against my back.

I turn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, realizing that the blanket is still pulled back from when he got up the hour before.

Oh dear lord please tell me she didn’t get sick.

I climb out of bed, padding down the hallway towards the soft glow of light emitting from her room.

I pause at the doorway, watching as he holds her close to his chest, a smile draped across his face.

I can’t help but stand and watch as he sways back and forth, watching her sleep in his arms.

I notice her tiny hand is clasped around his ring finger, the gold of his wedding band glowing in the dim light.

I love that ring on him.

I never thought I’d be the one to put it on him.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

Why am I so nervous?

He’s not going to leave me stranded.

Right?

Jesus, get a grip, y/n.

“Are you ready y/n?” Hotch walks around the corner, fixing his cuff links as he walks up to me.

I take a deep breath in, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to throw up.

“Yep. I’m ready, I just….” I fan myself. “Is it normal to feel like you’re going to pass out on your wedding day?”

He smiles, coming forward and taking hold of my hand. “It is. And I guarantee you, he’s worse than you are.”

I laugh, just imagining the state he’s in.

He hasn’t seen me in three days, since I’m a stickler for tradition.

It was my bachelorette party, than his bachelor party, and now here we are.

“When Haley and I got married, I was a nervous wreck. I don’t think I took a normal breath until hours after just because I was so worried about everything going to plan.”

He brushes some of the curls framing my face out of my eye sight.

“But, when I met her eyes, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It was just us, and I knew, at that moment, that everything would be okay.”

I nod, exhaling. “Okay. I’m ready.”

He loops my arm through his, turning to the closed doors where my future waits for me.

“Thank you, Aaron. For giving me away. You’re the closest thing to a father I’ve got.”

He pats my hand. “It’s my honor, y/n.”

I hear the start of the music, and my heart jump starts. 

I grip his arm, trying to control my breathing. 

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.”

The doors open, and for a moment, I panic.

But then my eyes meet his.

And everything else disappears.

His hands are clasped in front of him, and I see him look me over, taking in everything.

Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and god, I never realized how much I missed him when he’s gone.

We reach the altar, where a proud Rossi stands, and Hotch hands me off with a kiss to my cheek.

I hand JJ my flowers, turning clasping Spencer's hands in mine.

When my hand touches his, my breathing returns to normal.

However, before I even notice, JJ is handing me a folded piece of paper that holds my vows.

Weddings always seem longer when you’re not in them.

I unfold the paper, clearing my throat.

“I don’t have an eidetic memory, so I need this so I don’t make a fool of myself.”

A couple laughs from the crowd.

Okay, here goes nothing.

“The first time I saw you, you were sitting at your desk, while Derek and JJ sat around you, watching you explain the scientific inaccuracies of Star Wars.”

He laughs, and Derek pats his shoulder from behind him.

“I was awestruck to say the least. The way your eyes lit up with excitement, how your hands couldn’t stay still.”

I take a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I fell in love with you at that moment. But I knew I was done for when you looked at me for the first time.”

Rossi produces a tissue from his pocket, and I laugh, accepting and blotting at my tears.

“You are my best friend. You are there for me in my darkest times, and are often the cause of all my light ones. You hold me when I cry, and you laugh when I’m angry at something stupid. You never make me feel stupid. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.”

Christ, why was this so hard?

“I love you. And I promise to cherish you, and not get annoyed when you ramble on about god knows what, because I love to listen to you talk. I promise to never make you feel like you don’t matter, because you matter so much. I promise to love you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, until the end of time itself. I choose you, forever and always.”

I fold the paper up again, dabbing away my tears.

“Well, look at that, I still made a fool of myself.”

More laughs, and I hear a few sniffles here and there. 

Spencer wipes his own eyes. “I don’t know if I can top that.”

I giggle.

He goes into his jacket, and pulls out a white envelope, and my face scrunches in confusion.

“It’s not what you think it is.” He whispers.

He opens it, pulling out a car, and begins to read from the inside.

“You told me once, in a card similar to this one, that the moment you admitted to yourself that you loved me, was on a road trip to visit my mom. I thought it fitting that I tell you that, that was the moment I admitted to myself that I loved you in the same way. So here we are.”

I bring a hand up to my mouth, covering the ugly sobs that threaten to spill out.

“We had only known each other for a month, but you were easily taking over every brain cell in my mind. I was terrified of you saying no, but I asked anyway. Those two weeks were some of the best of my life. I fell in love with your laugh, your smile, the way your hair looks in the sunlight. I fell in love with you from the driver's seat and I’ve loved you ever since. You deserve to be reminded of that every day for the rest of your life. I promise to hold and cherish the heart that you have given me. I promise to catch you, every time you run away. I promise to protect you with my life. You mean everything to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you. I love you, forever and always.”

He closes it, and it takes a moment for me to gather myself.

“I promise I didn’t look at your vows before writing mine.”

I laugh.

Rossi clears his throat. “The rings please, Henry.”

Henry walks forward, our rings sitting on the pillow as he smiles at us. 

“Thank you buddy.” I say, taking hold of Spencer’s between my fingers.

“Alright. Y/n, repeat after me. I, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid, to be my husband.”

I repeat the words, a smile growing bigger and bigger on my face.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until the end of time.”

Can I kiss him yet?

I say the words, like casting a spell, before slipping the golden band onto his finger.

Rossi repeats the phrase, and Spencer’s smile is as big as mine, if not bigger.

“Until the end of time.”

He delicately slips the ring on my finger, and my heart starts pounding.

“One more question for each of you. I promise, we're almost there.”

He smiles at each of us, before turning back to me.

“Do you, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Not even a question.

“And do you, Spencer Reid, take Y/n Y/l/n as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

I start bouncing on my toes, too excited to care.

“Then it is my great pleasure and honor to pronounce you, husband and wife.”

He turns to Spencer. “You may now kiss the bride.”

He doesn’t hesitate, cradling my face in his hands as he places his lips on mine.

It’s just me and him, in an empty room.

I move my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

It’s only when we break, that I remember people are here, and the room is filled with applause.

With our hands clasped together we walk back down the aisle, and I swear I am never going to be this happy ever again. And that’s okay.

My eyes fall from his arms, to the dresser sitting next to her crib. 

The top is covered with photos, personalized trinkets, and books. 

One picture is framed with her name in gold lettering down the side.

My first sonogram.

Through the glass I can see wrinkles in the film.

Spencer carried it with him until the day she was born.

He had always mentioned how he wanted to have kids someday.

It didn’t make me any less nervous to tell him, though.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Is this Mrs. Y/n Reid?”

I stop writing, my pen mid stroke on my paper.

“This is she.”

“Hello! This is Nicole calling from United Health with the results of your pregnancy test.”

Jesus that was fast.

“Oh! That was quicker than I expected.”

I set my pen down, closing my file, pushing some hair behind my ear, looking around to see if anyone was in ear shot.

They weren’t.

“We get that a lot. But, I’d like to say congratulations! You are pregnant!���

I stop breathing for a moment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Thank you!”

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

“You’re so welcome! Congratulations again! Have a great rest of your day!”

I hang up, still trying to grasp the words that have just been spoken to me.

I’m pregnant.

I’m fucking pregnant.

Holy fuck.

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

I snap out of my daze to see Spencer standing beside my desk, a look of skeptical worry on his face.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. Um…”

I have to tell him. I can’t keep this a secret from him, even if I wanted to try and surprise him.

I stand, running my hands over my pants.

“Okay, somethings wrong. You do that when you’re nervous.”

I can’t help but laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Nothings wrong, Spence. Um, I just got a call from United Health.”

He’s confused, setting the file in his hand, down on my desk.

“Why would United Health be calling you?”

There are days when I can't believe he has an I.Q. of 187.

“I went in yesterday, to get a test done. I’ve been gaining weight, and I’ve been getting sick in the mornings. I also skipped my last period.”

I can sense the wheels beginning to turn in his head.

“Wait. Are you…”

I nod, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Spencer.”

It takes a moment for the words to register in his brain, but then he’s yelling in excitement, throwing his arms around my waist, picking me up and spinning me around.

He sets me down, his eyes red rimmed, his smile one I will never forget.

“You’re pregnant. Oh my god we’re having a baby.”

His hands are placed on either side of my face, and I can’t help but laugh at his infectious excitement.

“Who’s having a baby, now?”

Derek walks up, and Spencer turns, and I know Derek knows just by the shit eating grin on Spencer’s face.

But I just love saying it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Derek’s eyes light up as he claps his hands together, before pulling Spencer into a hug. “My man!”

JJ and Emily gather around, all smiles and squeals as I’m captured in the middle of a group hug.

Penelope walks into the bullpen then, confusion written across her face.

“What’s going on out here? Why are you guys screaming? Who won the lottery?”

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the smile.

“I’m pregnant!” I all but scream.

Penelope’s expression changes in an instant as she practically runs forward.

“Oh my god! Holy crap! Baby genius! That’s so much better than the lottery!” 

She catches me in a bone crushing hug before suddenly pulling back.

“Crap. Sorry. Fragile baby.”

“Congratulations baby girl.” Derek swaps places with Penelope, who is now hugging Spencer with everything she has.

“Alright, why are you guys hugging each other?”

Rossi and Hotch walk through the glass doors, taking in the commotion.

I feel Spencer wrap his arms around me from behind, as he kisses my shoulder, my neck, my cheek.

“I’m pregnant!”

A smile immediately forms on Rossi’s face as he comes forward, grasping my face between his hands, kissing me on each of my cheeks.

“Congratulations, principessa.”

“Congratulations, to both of you.”

Hotch is smiling, waiting his turn to give hugs.

“It’s decided, celebratory dinner at my place tonight!” Rossi announces and we all cheer.

I turn my head, placing my hands over Spencer’s which are now resting over my stomach.

“I love you.” I smile.

“I love you, too. Both of you.”

Soft humming breaks the silence of the room, and quiet words float through the air as he sings to her sleeping form.

“Come Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up she goes, up she goes.”

I enter the room then, tip toeing over to stand by his side, leaning my head against his shoulder as I gently stroke her hair.

“Up, up, a little bit higher. Oh! My! The moon is on fire! Come, Josephine in my flying machine going up, all on, goodbye!”

She’s tiny.

I couldn’t fathom how tiny she was a month ago, and she has grown, but she’s still so small.

Has it already been a month?

“Jesus fuck, I  promised myself this wouldn’t happen at work.”

I shouldn’t have come in.

I know that.

I know that waking up with contractions is a tell tale sign that you should not go to work.

But she isn’t due for another two weeks. Two weeks is a long time. Hopefully enough time to get a grip on myself so I don’t panic that I’m gonna fail as a mother every time I think about it too hard.

I thought maybe I could just get through the day, but the warm stream trickling down my leg is a big fuck no to that.

I’m trying to steady my breathing, the cup of tea I was making abandoned on the counter as I grip the edge with a force I didn’t know I had.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?”

Hotch walks up, worry creasing his brow.

He places a hand on my back, a comfort as pain ripples up and down my spine.

I shake my head. “I need Spencer.”

I shift my weight from leg to leg. “And a towel.”

He nods his head, looking around for a chair, frowning when he comes up empty.

“Aaron,” I say, turning my head towards him. “Please go get my husband.”

“Right.” He nods, taking a second to make sure I wasn’t going to topple over before almost running towards Penelope's bat cave.

A hiss escapes my mouth as I feel a jab in my side.

“Yeah, I know baby, I wish he would hurry the fuck up too.”

A plethora of footsteps fall upon my ears, and Spencer immediately places a hand on my lower back, taking hold of mine with his other.

“How far apart are they?” is the first thing out of his mouth.

“I’m fine, honey, thanks for asking.” I say as we start to make our way towards the front glass doors.

He gives me a look and I sigh.

“I don’t know. I thought if I didn’t count they’d go away and I could pretend this isn’t happening at work.”

“I wish it worked like that.” JJ laughs, holding open the door and what I presume is my go bag.

“Me too.” I grit, squeezing Spencer’s hand.

“Remember our deal. Not one statistic, or fact is to be uttered from your mouth today. You are not a doctor once we enter the hospital.”

I can see the panic start to form on his face, but he laughs.

“Yes ma’am.”

~~~

I’m never doing this again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much pain before.

I’ve been in this room for what feels like forever, because she’s taking her sweet time being early.

No amount of pillows or soothing rubs can help the aches that are washing over me.

My hair is falling from the bun I threw it up in, sweat coating every inch of skin I have.

I feel gross in every sense of the word.

I lean forward and groan as another contraction rips through me.

How do women do this?

Spencer brushes some hair out of my face and lays a cool washcloth on my neck as I grip the side rails of my bed.

“You’re doing so good baby.”

It feels like I can’t breath.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He knows there’s not much he can do right now to help, but he holds my hand, trailing his hand up and down my back.

“Just a little bit longer. I promise. She’s almost here. You’re doing so good, y/n. I’m so proud of you.”

If only he knew about the panic flowing through my veins, the thoughts that I’m not ready to be a mom bouncing around my skull like an insistent headache.

A knock at the door, and my doctor walks in, smiles and bright eyes. “How are you feeling, y/n?”

“Like a,” I groan, trying to move away from the pain, shifting forward and backwards. “Like a million bucks.”

She laughs, and I don’t have the energy to be nice and laugh with her.

“Well, I still need to check, but I’m pretty sure you’re ready to push.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to look as she sticks her fingers in a place that will need some R&R after this. 

“I was right. You’re ready. Now, your body knows exactly what to do. It’s best to not fight it, and just listen to what it’s telling you okay?”

I start to move myself back away from her, my breathing picking up pace.

I can’t do this.

“No. No. I can’t. I’m not ready.”

She doesn’t seem phased at all, but Spencer easily notices the fear in my voice. 

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Look at me.” His hands stroke the sides of my face, and his fingers are wet from my tears and sweat.

I shake my head. “I’m not doing this. I’m not ready. What if I fail? I don’t want to fail her. I can’t. No. I’m gonna be a horrible mother.”

“Y/n, baby, breath with me.” He takes my hand, and places it on his chest.

I can feel his breaths beneath his breastbone, the frantic heartbeats that give away his true state of mind.

I hate that I’m stressing him out.

“You are going to be a great mother. One of the best. I don’t think you could fail even if you tried.”

He brushes my tears away. “But you can’t force your body to stop. You need to let go. I’m right here.”

“Alright, were ready, y/n.”

My eyes pass between Spencer’s and I know he’s right.

I just need to let go.

I nod, and I move back to where I was. 

My left hand grips the rail, while my right is situated inside Spencer’s. 

I feel the next contraction start. 

“Alright I need you to push for me.” 

I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, but I take a breath and let my muscles do the work.

I hear that groaning and screaming can actually help, so that’s what I do. 

With every push, my voice grows louder, words lost in the back of my throat.

But I’m getting tired, and I can feel myself crashing. 

So when another contraction pulses through me, I push myself forward, and use every muscle in my body.

“Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!” 

I don’t think I’ve ever screamed that loud, but it seemed to work.

It felt like a gush and then crys fill the room.

I fall back onto the bed, tears streaming down my face.

“She’s beautiful!” I hear my doctor say over her screams.

Spencer kisses my forehead, his own tears coating his face. “You were amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“Here she is!”

My doctor lays a bundle of white blankets onto my chest, and when I see her face, my heart stops. 

The world could be burning around me, but I wouldn’t care. Even covered in gunk and red faced, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 

I sob, holding her close to me, Spencer right there beside me, his hand gently stroking the top of her head. 

“Hi, Ettie.” I whisper. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, his voice thick with emotion. 

I can’t take my eyes off her. I never want to let go of her.

Nothing else matters anymore, nothing but her.

Juliet Diana Reid.

Born at 6:08 am, on the third of December.

He places her in my arms, and I clutch her close to my chest as I move back towards her crib to lay her down again.

I don’t understand how I could have ever doubted how amazing my life would be with her in it.

Soft snores emit from her small mouth, and Spencer wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, only moving when he hears me sniffle.

“Why are you crying, love?” he whispers

I wipe my face, turning around so I can face him.

His hands are on my hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on my skin.

“For so long, I was jealous of so many people.” My hands play with the fabric of his t-shirt, rubbing it between my fingers.

“I was jealous of Heather. Of what she had.”

My hands move up his chest, coming to rest at the base of his neck. 

“I dreamed about this. About having this with you. And I never thought I would get it. But here I am.”

I smile up at him. “I have everything I have ever wanted. I wouldn’t wish for another life even if it was offered. I have you, and Ettie, and the life I wanted so bad. I’m just…”

I swallow the noise threatening to spill from my throat, so I don’t wake up the sleeping girl behind me. 

“I’m just really happy is all.”

He smiles softly down at me, and he brings up a hand to cup my cheek. 

He leans down and kisses me slowly, gently, in a way that always leaves me paralyzed. 

“I love you.” He whispers. 

I nuzzle my nose against his, before laying my head against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him. 

“I love you, too.”

I love you, Spencer.

I love you.

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[badger-writes]

Star Wars OC Ship Week 2021 - for light and love

uhhhh Hello! 😄

This fic and all its chapters was written for Star Wars OC Ship Week's inaugural year 2021, an event spotlighting OCxEC romances & platonic friendships helmed by @findswoman! It's also the first time I've personally ever taken part in an event week so I hope I do a good job! 😅

Whether you're a High Republic fan or you just want to see the big lizard get smooches, hope you enjoy! Leave comments and kudos if you do! Looking forward to sharing all I've written over the course of the week w/ y'all!

1 - How They Met

It all started, as these things do, in a medical bay.

Kelto Lem, a Jedi healer, had been busying himself with organizing the implements and instruments of the first aid wing in the Halls of Healing. This was light work, and peaceful, which suited him fine. Rarely, if ever, were there emergencies in the Jedi Temple of such scope and scale as to totally overwhelm the medical ward, and to the best of his recollection they had never occurred in the early morning, when dew was still settled on the trees and grasses of Monument Park. This made it an optimal time for preparing the ward for most of the day’s eventualities well ahead of schedule; this making good sense to him, he settled into this habit as a padawan and had never quite given it up. In time, it became almost a meditative practice for him - refilling stores of fresh bandages, taking stock of available pharmaceuticals and herbal remedies, refilling the kolto canisters…

And so it was in the middle of this daily routine that he was interrupted by the door sliding open. He turned to look and nearly dropped the medical scanner he was holding - for two reasons.

 The first: his guest was built like a permacrete E-Web bunker. Broad and tall, with an implied physicality that not even Jedi robes concealed, the visitor - a Trandoshan - strode into the ward with an aura of stern command, stolid orange eyes locking upon Kelto almost immediately. His emerald scales shone with a slight luster as he walked, the claws of his toes clicking against the tile floor, until he came to the edge of the biobed in the center of the room less than a foot away from the resident healer. The sheer weight of his presence made Kelto feel small by comparison - he, a shorter pale-scaled Rodian with stripes of deep blue running along his jaw and neck, who wore a satchel of first aid essentials on his hip everywhere he went and tied back his spines in a long, narrow topknot ending in a spiky pom where they escaped the hold of the strip of linen which restrained them.

The second: he was covered in scorchmarks.

“Star’s End,” Kelto said, when he could finally get his (dry, dry) mouth to work correctly. “What in the world happened to you?”

The Trandoshan rumbled, mouth pulling to one side in chagrin. It was a deep, bassy sound, and it landed straight in the pit of Kelto’s stomach. 

“A… mishap with the duelling droid,” he grunted, in the sibilant speech of his species. “I was not focused. Lost sight of my present. It seized the opportunity, as you can see,” he added, gesturing to his scorched robes.

“You were training? This early? Chee,” Kelto said, shaking his head. “And I thought my morning habits were odd - jump up on the bench, here, I’ll patch you up.”

He turned away to fetch some burn relief supplies, piling them on a tray. When he turned back, the Trandoshan had sat upon the biobed - and his tunic was resting carefully folded on the bench beside him.

“Ahghg,” he said, and everything on his tray rattled as he short-circuited.

The Trandoshan gave him an odd look. “Yes?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing. I’m fine,” Kelto stammered. “Let me just, uhhh… set this down here.”

He let the tray’s repulsorlifts catch it in midair, so that it would hover at his side. Then he took a ball of fluff and daubed it in a squat open vial of kolto, letting the excess drip off and trying not to think too much about the barrel-chested masterpiece of physicality sitting just within arm’s reach to his right.

“So, how did this happen, Master …?”

“Knight, actually,” the patient replied. “Not master - not yet, anyway. And as I said, I was training.”

“Only a Knight? ...Well, I guess if you were a Master, you wouldn’t have ended up - err, you know what, forget I said that.”

With kolto-ball and medigauze dressings in hand, Kelto turned to his patient and gave him a quick once-over. There were injuries in areas roughly corresponding to the placement of scorch marks on the surface of his clothes, but fortunately, most of them didn’t seem too severe - the robes acting as a layer of insulation against the worst of it. Quite intentionally, he started on the outside limbs, an attempt to spare himself another hot flush provoked by looking straight on at his patient’s torso. Sskeer didn’t even flinch when he touched the wet medical fluff against an abrasion on the side of his arm.

“I train on one or two levels above the normal training setting,” the Trandoshan offered, by way of explanation. “Thus, my injuries.”

“Ah,” Kelto murmured, mostly to himself. “A masochist.”

Sskeer grunted reproachfully. “The training settings are designed to hold back. There will be no such reprieve in the field. Therefore, I train the body to anticipate the presence of harm - to become numb to its threat, and then, to surpass it.”

“So you’re fine with the pain?”

“Pain can be ignored. And my people have thick hides. I endure.” 

“Well, I’m no duelist, but in my estimation you could probably stand to bump back down a few levels,” Kelto observed, winding a bandage around his forearm. “At least until you can defeat one of those saber-happy droids.”

Sskeer hrrred. The sound landed in Kelto’s gut again. “Bold words from a nurse.”

“Bold enough to be a Knight, like you.” The Rodian retorted, flashing him a smirk - and turning away immediately when the sensation of being perceived became too much. (His cheeks were so warm - was it supposed to be so hot in here?) Falling silent, he took one of Sskeer’s wide, thick-fingered hands in his own, turning it to inspect the green welt on its back.

“I did not realize you had risen to Knighthood as well,” the Trandoshan offered as Kelto dressed his injury. “If I offended, it was not by intent.”

“It’s fine. I’d rather people forget, honestly. Most people, they see a Jedi and think, ‘wow! Laser swords! Magic powers!’ - but that’s… never really where I felt comfortable.”

“You feel your place is here.”

“It’s where my talents lie, I think. I’ve sort of been drawn to the healing halls ever since I left the creche. And… well, to be honest, I like being able to help people doing this. So… I guess it’s true what they say, about the Force having a path for us all, and all that.”

Sskeer hummed. “That is good.”

“Yeah, and I remember when I was little, Master Rancisis came by the ward and said a-- I’m sorry, am I rambling? I’m rambling, aren’t I? I’ll just shut up and tend you--”

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I just dropped basically my whole backstory on you--”

“It’s fine,” Sskeer said - firmly, but patiently. “Really.”

And Kelto believed him.

It’s funny, he thought suddenly, how quickly you can get comfortable with someone else. A moment ago he could barely stand to meet Sskeer’s gaze - now, though, he could look him straight in the eye without feeling like wilting. Sskeer had surprisingly deep eyes, he noticed, for how small they were. Deep and dark. Like he could dip into his pupils and fall forever --

Oh gosh, there’s a huge green mark right on his temple. How did he miss that??

Kelto dunked a fresh puffball in the healing fluid and held it up to the Trandoshan’s brow, cradling it in his long, sucker-tipped fingers. This time, when it touched his skin, Sskeer flinched and barely suppressed a hiss. On instinct, Kelto shushed him - a habit picked up from soothing much younger patients, when he got his start tending the younglings’ skinned knees and broken bones.

“This one’s not so bad, I think,” he murmurs. “Just needs a little kolto to help keep it clean. Just put some ice on it every few hours for the swelling and it’ll go away soon.”

“And this?”

“Hm?”

Sskeer gestured again to a long line of angry green flesh across his trunk.

“OH Force,” the Rodian cried, slapping a hand against his forehead. “I completely missed that somehow, thank you so much, I’m so sorry. Gods, I’ll get right on that--”

The Trandoshan surprises him with a chuckle. “Rather absentminded for a healer, aren’t you?”

“D-don’t judge!” Kelto sputters. “I’ve been distracted.”

“By what, exactly?” Sskeer asked, with a smirk.

“... J-just lie all the way down, please?”

Sskeer leaned back onto the biobed, hands resting behind his back. Now the whole of his broad, stocky abdomen lies prone under the glowlights, throwing the long diagonal burn across his trunk into stark, unmistakable relief.

“Why is this one so much worse,” Kelto wonders aloud.

“I wouldn’t call it ‘worse’. As I said, I endure.”

“I’m sorry, this doesn’t look like a giant, stinging saber-welt to you?” Kelto peered closer at the mark, hesitantly plying the flesh of the Trandoshan’s belly under his fingers. “...Actually, wait. This is almost a first degree burn. What kind of training saber makes marks like these?”

Now it was Sskeer’s turn to fall quiet and avoid eye contact.

“...You… did something pretty dumb, didn’t you.”

“...When my performance against the droids began to suffer, I… disabled some of the limiters on the droids,” Sskeer growled, at length.

“Y-you did WHAT?”

“I thought it would motivate me to improve,” he shrugged.

“So when I called you a masochist earlier and you didn’t really deny it--”

This time, Sskeer almost snarled. “It’s no crime to seek out a proper challenge.”

“Oh, and if every adrenaline junkie Padawan jumped off the High Council Tower, you would too?”

“Will you just stop arguing and fix this?”

“I--” Kelto groaned. “Okay, whatever, big guy. Just - just hang on.”

He arranged his hands on either side of Sskeer’s wound - one above on his chest, one below on his stomach. Then he sucked in a deep breath through his snout and released it slowly, letting his eyes fall shut as he exhaled. 

He was panicking, he knew. Overcorrecting. There was no reason to take things this far when he was literally standing in a room filled with other, more practical solutions - and certainly not over something so silly as a shouting match with a Knight he barely knew. But by now, good sense and training had momentarily fled him. 

Here, in this moment, Kelto sank into the Force and let himself be guided by the simple instinct to help.

He took another slow breath in, and out, and began to concentrate.

And then…

Sskeer sensed it before he saw it. He craned his neck over his chest to see - and rose up on his elbows, watching intensely.

With preternatural speed, the hideous burn across his torso lightened, shrank - and then vanished. In its place only unblemished scales remained.

Like he’d never even been touched.

Kelto let out one final, explosive breath - and almost collapsed. Sskeer jolted to his feet and grabbed his arms, cradled his back in one arm, steadying him on his feet until he could recover.

“Nice catch,” Kelto panted, when he’d finally recovered.

Sskeer was looking at him differently, the Rodian noticed through the blur of lightheadedness. Looking with him with something like awe.

“That was… quite a feat,” the Trandoshan noted. “It seems you were correct to follow the path of the healers.” 

“Y-yes, well,” Kelto murmured sleepily, “we all have our own special talents.” 

His eyes trailed back to Sskeer’s chest, fingertips idly following their gaze down his trunk. They tickled, just slightly; Sskeer registered an unexpected, but not wholly unpleasant shiver down his spine.

“Think we’re all done now,” the Rodian mumbled. Then his big, sea-blue eyes blinked - slowly, then rapidly, like a Wookiee propeller-engine starting up - and he realized his hand was just shy of cupping one of Sskeer’s pecs.

“UM,” he said loudly, jumping away. “YEAH, so, all done. Clean bill of health. You should be completely fine within the next day or so, and then you can go get your butt handed to you by the training droids again, right? Yup, glad to help, have a nice day, May the Force Be With You and all that jizz, ahaha~”

The Rodian became a flurry of hyperactivity around the ward, re-stocking and re-checking shelves and cabinets for reasons Sskeer could not divine. To appear busy, he supposed - and discourage his continued presence.

It was, he decided, reather endearing. 

Sskeer let the flustered healer flail a moment more before saying, “I don’t think you ever shared your name.”

When he looked over his shoulder, Kelto’s face looked as bright as a Life Day orb - only much, much greener. “Huh?”

“Force healing is no small feat,” the Trandoshan observed, slipping his tunic and tabard back over his shoulders. “To have seen it performed is a privilege; for something as small as my own self-inflicted injury, and after my own stubbornness - an honor. 

“I’d prefer to thank you for it properly, and to apologize. But for that, I must ask your name.”

The Rodian stared. Then coughed, turning to lean back against the counter before him. “Uh, well… That’s … kind of you, but I - you know, we’re Jedi and all. W-we don’t really serve for gratitude’s sake.”

“For the sake of a fellow Jedi, then, and a friend?” 

“…Friend?”

A bemused head tilt. “Are we not?”

“W-well, that’s moving a bit quickly, isn’t it? I mean - we don’t even know each other’s names.”

Sskeer stared.

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m not dumb, I swear, I’m just -- panicking.”

The Trandoshan gave him a funny look. (It was kinda cute, Kelto noticed, when his nose scrunched up like that.) 

Just spit it out. Spit it out. Spit it out. You’re blowing it. Just spit it out spititout spititout---

“My name’s Kolto,” he said -- and groaned.

“Your name,” Sskeer echoed, “is...‘Kolto’?”

“Noooo, no, not ‘Kolto’ - Kelto! Kelto! My name is Kelto. Kelto Lem. I just - I’m just called ‘Kolto’. By - certain people.”

“Because… you work with kolto?” he ventured. “Or because it happens to sound similar?”

Kelto sulked, crossing his arms. “Because Torban Buck thinks he’s funny.” 

Understanding dawned. “Ah. Yes, he certainly does.”

“Mmmmgh. Well, now that I’ve botched my own introduction, I guess you know me. So you can leave me to my shame, now, I guess.” Kelto returned to the business of managing the ward - opening and closing cabinet doors slightly harder, this time.

A wide, three-fingered hand landed on his narrow shoulder, making him jump.

“Thank you, Kelto Lem,” Sskeer said. “Truly, you’re a credit to the Order.”

His voice was deep and warm. Kelto swore he could feel his breath tickling his ear.

“A-anytime,” he replied, spine locking ramrod straight.

He senses Sskeer’s presence pass by behind him, and imagines it’s what little Rodian swamp-fish feel like when big surface trawlers pass by, and catch them in their wake. “And perhaps when I continue my training,” Sskeer added, “I will remember to return here, for my wounds to be dressed.”

“Orrr you could crush those droids and never need to come back here again!” Kelto shakily returned.

“I’m sure I could, at that,” Sskeer chuckled. And the door slides shut behind him.

The moment Kelto was certain he was alone, he took a little paper cup and pours himself a drink of cool sinkwater. It takes gulping down two full cupfuls before he cools down, sinking heavily on his elbows against the counter.

“‘Kolto’,” he muttered, scoffing. “God damn it.”