#Sorry I’m semi obsessed with feeling better lol

[hackoftheyear]

Anyway. Before and after September to May. Fixed my A1C!! My insulin is a lot lower. Nice

[athforskz]

Locked In - Yang Jeongin

Masterlist

Pairing: Jeongin x reader (afab)

Non-idol au

wc: ~7.7k

semi-proofread

Warnings: fluff, angst, pet names (babe/baby, princess), smut, jealousy, alcohol/drinking, dub-con if you squint, dry humping, fingering, oral (m- receiving), stealthing, unprotected piv, Yandere!Jeongin, breeding, baby trapping, dacryphilia, choking, spit, anal thumbing.

I think that’s it, let me know if I missed any!

Read responsibly. You are responsible for the content you consume.

Enjoy lovelies!

It was already Friday again. Meaning yet another week in your not so exciting life had flown by. You had no plans for the weekend and no friends that were free to spend it with. You, in fact, were the last of your friends that was still single. Everyone else had either married off or were currently in a serious relationship. You couldn’t help but feel the existential dread that encompassed your mind.

What if I’m alone forever?

Yeah, sure you’re still young in the grand scheme of things, but you couldn’t shake the doubt that maybe something was wrong. Wrong with you. Your body shook at the thought.

Deciding to do push the mess of thoughts to the back of your mind, you fished around for your phone in the nest of blankets you had curled yourself in on your bed. Your fingers quickly tap through your home screen until finding the app you were looking for. Tinder.

“Am I really doing this…?” You muttered to yourself. Contemplating once again about your life decisions. All you wanted was someone to call your own. A person to spend quality time with. Possibly settle down and start a life filled with contentment and love. Was that too much to ask?

Against your better judgement you opened the app and set up your profile. You chose the best pictures of yourself to display. Also making sure to write in your bio what you were seeking in a partner, that you were serious about your expectations. You may have been desperate but not desperate enough to lower the bar. At least not yet.

Within a few hours of swiping mindlessly, you got a couple dozen matches. Most of them are not what you’re looking for. But there was one that stood out. His name was Jeongin. He could hold a conversation, even making you laugh a few times. Before you knew it hours had passed of you both talking back and forth on the dating app. He ended up asking for your number claiming he doesn’t get on Tinder much anymore but wanted to keep the conversation going with you. Things were going so well that you thought nothing of it and immediately sent him your contact information. A couple minutes later your phone dinged with a message notification that you could safely assume was your new interest.

Unknown: Hey, y/n! It’s Jeongin :)

You: Do I know you?

You teased him as you saved his contact to your phone.

Jeongin: I’m so sorry! Wrong number!

You: Just kidding lol it’s me, y/n!

Jeongin: You almost sent me into a panic you little minx

The little pet name had you turned onto your front with your legs propped up behind you and kicking freely. You two texted for a little while longer before calling it a night.

Little did you know, Jeongin stayed up half the night doing research on you. Digging up whatever he could find about your past and your present. He had never known someone so beautiful, so perfect. So you. He couldn’t help the burning obsession he was growing towards you. It was like a thirst that could not be quenched. He needed you. All of you. Jeongin had never felt this way about anybody before and he wasn’t about to let it go. Was this what euphoria felt like?

The next morning you had awoken to a bird pecking at your window. The tap-tap-tap sounds reverberate throughout your room. You got up from your bed stretching with a yawn before opening your curtains to find the little tweeting perpetrator. It flew off quickly upon it being caught, leaving you to stare at the newly arisen sun. Just then, your phone vibrated on the nightstand. Hm, 7:03am the clock read. You swiftly unlocked your phone and unplugged it from the charger to read the new message from Jeongin.

Jeongin: Good morning! Hope you slept well

You: Morning, Jeongin! I did actually. Did you get some good rest too?

Jeongin: You could say that. Hey, I uh.. I wanted to ask you something.

You: What’s up?

Jeongin: Do you want to go get coffee together? Like today? I know it’s short notice so if you can’t that’s totally fine!

You: I’d love to go with you :)

Jeongin’s heart flipped in his chest with a widening smile across his face. He can’t believe you agreed to go with him. Now was his time to shine! He had to look his best for you which would be easier said than done because he in fact did not get any sleep. How could he when all that was on his mind was you?

The both of you agreed to meet at a local cafe called LaVazza in an hour. At first, you weren’t expecting to be doing anything with your Saturday besides maybe catching up on some research for your job. However, that could wait until later. You had a date with a cute guy after all.

Wait… a date? Can I even call it that? Is that what this is?

Numerous thoughts began to fill your head as you got ready. Should you dress up or look casual? Go all out with your makeup? Should you put your hair up or leave it down? A cold splash of water would help you think more clearly. Finally, you decided on an off the shoulder cashmere sweater, leggings, and black booties with light makeup to complete the look. You brushed your hair choosing to leave it down since your shoulders were exposed. You did one last mirror check before grabbing the essentials and making your way out of the apartment.

The cafe wasn’t too far from your place so walking was your choice of transportation. Nothing like a brisk walk on a cool Saturday morning to calm your nerves.

Upon reaching LaVazza, the fresh smell of coffee hit your nose. You breathed in deeply while looking around for Jeongin. No sign of him yet. You had gotten there a few minutes early after all. Surely he’d be here in a bit. You walked over to a booth seated in the corner next to the window while you waited; checking your phone every so often to see if you had gotten any messages. Nothing.

At some point you had zoned out while looking over the menu to decide what to order. You snapped back to reality once you felt a presence looming next to you.

“This seat taken?” A warm voice asked.

You looked up to meet none other than Jeongin’s gaze. Your mouth slightly agape as you took in the sight of him. Of course you had seen his photos on tinder yesterday but he was down right handsome in the flesh. He took his seat in the booth directly across from you, folding his hands neatly in front of him on the table. He cleared his throat which brought you out of a daze. “I-I’m sorry. Um hi! It’s nice to finally meet you.” You blinked and extended your hand across the table while mentally scolding yourself for staring so shamelessly. He chuckled while taking your hand and bringing it up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. Your face flushed in a deep blush. You had been going for a simple handshake but you weren’t going to complain about his greeting. Not when his lips felt so soft on your skin and his voice was like velvet. “Nice to meet you too,” he finally replied.

It seemed like Jeongin was playing it cool, but on the inside he was on fire. He felt his world stop when he first laid eyes on you sitting in the booth. He can’t believe just how gorgeous you are up close. Once you caught sight of him he saw your reaction, making a mental note of it for later.

“Did you order anything yet?” He asked you with a rise at the end of his voice. You shook your head in response looking down at the menu on the table. “I’m stuck between a lavender chai or the classic espresso. Maybe a chocolate croissant too. What are you getting?” You quipped. He pretended to think for a minute. “I always get the americano. It’s my go to.” Jeongin smiled at you. His smile was so bright, so cute, so entrancing. You couldn’t help but smile back, he was infectious.

After finalizing your decision on the lavender chai, you and Jeongin made your way over to the counter to order. You began reaching into your purse to pull out your card before Jeongin playfully scoffed. “Hey, I got it. Put that away.” You were confused at first, “I can at least pay for my own. You don’t have t-“ he interrupted. “Nuh uh, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll bring our order over once it’s ready.” He said calmly before handing the barista his card. “But I insist!” You blurted out. He raised an eyebrow at you in amusement. Before you could embarrass yourself any further you walked back over to the corner booth, waiting patiently for Jeongin to return.

During your wait, you came to the final realization that yes, this was definitely a date.

Once the order arrived you two had begun opening up to each other. Telling each other about yourselves. Your upbringing, your jobs, friends, hobbies. Pretty much anything. The conversation was flowing nicely. Little did you know Jeongin had already known so much about you. He knew exactly what to say to keep you interested in him. To keep you engaged to him and only him.

Before either of you realized, two hours had passed by. The both of you reluctantly opted to call it a day. You had research to catch up on and Jeongin had errands to run.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he said while holding the cafe door open for you.

“Oh, no need. I actually walked here. My place isn’t too far.”

“What? No way, I walked too! I can walk you home at least.” He offered. Jeongin lied. His car was parked around the corner but he would rather walk with you to spend more time with you. You hesitated for a bit, mulling it over. You just met this man today. Even though you both talked for hours he was still a stranger to you. Should you really let him know where you live? In conclusion, you did it anyway.

“Sure, why not?” You shrugged then proceeded to lead the way. He followed slightly behind you, acting as if he didn’t already know where you lived.

About halfway through the walk, Jeongin felt bold enough to touch your hand, wrapping his pinky finger around yours. You didn’t mind it, you thought it was sweet as he smiled down at you, listening to you speak about some story that happened at a recent friend’s get-together.

Another few minutes went by and y’all had reached the front door to your apartment. You turned on your heels to face Jeongin.

“Thank you for this morning. I had a lot of fun, Jeongin,” you admitted.

“I did too. Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” he replied. His eyes fluttered looking at your features, from your lips to your eyes.

Suddenly you felt warm, a blush creeping up from your neck to your cheeks. Was he going to-?

“Howdy, neighbor!” Your next door neighbor beamed happily as they slammed their door shut and locked it. You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding as you turned to wave at your neighbor. Jeongin cursed under his breath, becoming irrationally angry at your neighbor for the split second you weren’t paying attention to him. In the blink of an eye he was back to his calm and cheery self once you turned back to him.

“Let me know when you get home okay?” You requested of him before leaning up on your tippy toes and landing a peck on his cheek. All he could do was nod, his skin igniting at the touch of your lips. You unlocked your door bidding him a final goodbye as he walked off. He still felt the lingering connection of your lips on his cheek. Now he was locked in for sure. And unknowingly, that meant you were locked in too.

A few more weeks passed and the bond between Jeongin and you became stronger. He had invited you out on several more dates during that time. Some of them being more casual and others being romantic. You honestly couldn’t be happier. Nothing between you two was made mutually exclusive yet (or so you thought), but it was certainly heading that way.

Currently, you were on a FaceTime call with Jeongin while you were doing chores around your apartment. You had your phone propped up on the coffee table, facing away from it as you fluffed the pillows on the couch during your rambling about what happened at work the other day. Jeongin was barely listening. All he could focus on was the way your Nike pro shorts hugged the fat of your thighs along with the swell of your ass cheeks peeking through perfectly. Any time you’d bend over he’d take a screenshot without you ever noticing.

Thank goodness you could only see his face because he currently had his hand in his sweats to lazily palm his twitching cock. Every now and then he would let out a heavy sigh, but you chalked it up to him just being tired. “Innie, I can let you off if you want to go to sleep. I have to start getting ready anyway,” you had recently took to calling him by the nickname. Just then, his head shot up from the relaxed position it was in, hand retracing from his pants. “Get ready? Ready for what?” He completely ignored your comment about his tiredness. Jeongin was more concerned about your future whereabouts. He had become very good at keeping tabs on you whether you knew about it or not. But this time he had no indication that you planned on going somewhere. Somewhere without him.

“My friend invited me to a party tonight!” Party? You don’t party. Jeongin knows you don’t.

“I normally don’t like going to such things, but I haven’t hung out with my friends in a while, so why not, ya know?” You continued. His face dropped.

Why does she feel the need to go somewhere without me? He thought to himself.

His next words threw you for a loop, “Can I come?”

You were taken aback, “But you don’t know anyone that’ll be there.”

“I know you...” He raised an eyebrow waiting for your response. You seemed to be lost in thought. Is this a good idea, introducing him to your friends so soon? And without an official label no less.

“I don’t know, Innie. My friends will get the wrong idea about us and I don’t-“

“Wrong idea?” He interrupted.

“Like they’ll think we’re together.” You announced. You swear you saw his eye twitch.

“But we are together. At least I thought we were,” he retorted.

Now it was your turn to raise a brow. “We are? Since when?”

“Since we started going on a bunch of dates and hanging out. Not to mention all of the kissing. C’mon sweetheart, did you really think I was just playing around with you?”

He was right, you two had been spending a lot of time together. You’d see him at least every other day and talk to him on the phone on the days that you weren’t with him. Things had become a lot more serious between the both of you including the ever fervent makeout sessions. Neither of you had gone farther than kissing and lingering touches with each other, but the thought of going to the next level with Jeongin made your eyes glaze over. “Well..?” He chuckled waiting for your answer. You shook your head letting out a light laugh in the process as a blush covered your cheeks. “Okay, fine you can come with me since apparently you’re my boyfriend now.”

Boyfriend

Boyfriend

Boyfriend.

The word leaving from your mouth to label him as such a thing sounded so sweet. But he wanted to be more to you. For you. He wanted to be all you ever needed. Wanted you to rely on him for absolutely everything. You didn’t need anyone else. All he wanted you to need was him.

A sly smile played on his lips as he at least took this as a good start. Perfect.

Well into the night you found yourself enthralled with the party, having a good time with everyone. You were glad to have agreed to come out and bring Jeongin with you. Your friends however, were not thrilled with your new boyfriend. You had introduced them to him earlier in the night but your friends could tell that something was off with him. You didn’t notice their uneasiness towards Jeongin at first, as you were busy throwing back shots and dancing. Normally, you didn’t drink but when you were out you drank heavily. A social drinker at its finest. Jeongin made sure to keep a close eye on you which wasn’t hard because when you weren’t drinking you were dancing with him. Grinding your ass into his pelvis as he kept a hand on your hips encouraging your movements. To you, it looked like he was enjoying himself. Nursing a red solo cup in his free hand with God knows what kind of alcohol in it. However, Jeongin was sure not to get too drunk so he could keep others away from you. He wanted all of your attention focused solely on him so your eyes wouldn’t wander. If he caught another guy looking at you he’d be sure to press a hot, lingering kiss to your neck as if to claim you for all to see. Right when you began leaning back into Jeongin’s chest one of your friends approached you.

“Y/n, can we talk for a sec?” She asked with a lilt to her voice. You gave her a silent nod before she started to pull you away from him by your wrist. Jeongin started to follow you to which your friend spoke up, “it’s girl talk only, you wouldn’t understand.” She gave him a sheepish smile then proceeded to lead you away, leaving him on the dance floor sipping his drink.

He didn’t like this. Not one bit. He doesn’t want anyone, not even your closest friends, taking you away from him. But, nonetheless, he allowed your friend to speak with you in private so he didn’t cause a scene. His eyes narrowed as he watched your form through the crowd of people making a mental note of where you were going just in case he needed to come get you.

Your friend pushed past a throng of people before slipping into a quiet room with you in tow. She closed the door prior to speaking.

“What are you doing?” She asked, turning slowly to meet your eyes.

“Um, having fun? Duh!” You couldn’t take her question seriously as you giggled.

“No, no not that! I mean like what are you doing with him?”

“You mean, Innie? I thought it’d be alright if he came with me. Was there like a super limited guest list I wasn’t informed about?” Your eyes widened at the realization.

Your friend rolled her eyes at you, “God, you really are drunk. There was not a guest list. I just want to know what in the hell you see in that man?”

“What are you talking about? Jeongin makes me happy and I-“

“He’s weird! I mean have you not seen the way he’s hoarding you to himself and giving death glares at anybody that even looks your direction?! That’s straight up toxic behavior!” She cut you off as her voice raised an octave. She wasn’t yelling but you still didn’t appreciate her tone.

“So everyone else gets to be happy with someone, but as soon as I get a boyfriend there’s a fucking problem? And you’re calling him toxic just because he’s a little protective? Do you even hear yourself right now?!” The alcohol was rushing in your veins making you a little bit more bold.

“Hey, you know that’s not what I meant. Just-“

“Save it!” It was your turn to interrupt her. You put your hand up in front of your face before shoulder checking her on the way out of the room.

You looked among the crowd to find Jeongin had moved to the back wall. You made your way over to him and he looked surprised, probably not expecting you to be back so soon.

“We should leave.” You said dryly while looking down at the floor, your arms crossed over your chest. Jeongin simply nodded and with that you both made your way out of the party.

Once in the car you sighed, the alcohol still buzzing through your body.

“You okay, baby? What happened in there?” He asked clearly concerned. He knew he shouldn’t have let you go off alone with her.

“Don’t worry about it, I.N. I’d rather not talk about it right now.” You trailed off while staring out the window. As much as he wanted to press you for answers, he didn’t pry any farther. He let you have your space for the time being. Jeongin only had one drink so he was fine to drive.

The way back was mostly silent besides the low hum of the radio in the background. Jeongin would occasionally rub or squeeze your thigh for reassurance which you appreciated. You just simply couldn’t get over the argument you had with your friend.

Is she crazy? Jealous?

There’s no way she could be. She was your best friend who got everything she wanted and she never had acted this way before.

But what about Jeongin made her so uneasy? What couldn’t you see?

You looked over at the man in the driver's seat, admiring his profile and the way he drove one-handed. He felt you staring at him so he turned his head to meet your gaze. He flashed a toothy smile which made you smile in return.

Soon he parked out front of your apartment, getting out of the car to come over to open your door for you. You gave him a small thanks before walking to your front door, him tailing behind you.

Once inside you kicked off your heels, sighing at the relief of your feet being flat on the floor. Jeongin closed and locked the door behind himself the proceeded to shuck off his jacket and step out of his shoes. He had been inside your apartment a handful of times now and became accustomed to it. Everything from the decorations to the furniture to the smell was so you. It was like being in heaven for him. He lifted his head to a familiar cork sound popping open followed by the clinking of glasses. You were in the kitchen, pouring wine for the both of you.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” He leaned over the island watching you pour.

“Just because we left the party doesn’t mean I want to lose my buzz.”

“I think you’re more than buzzed, babe.” He laughed as you waved him off. You handed him his glass then walked over to the living room, plopping down on the couch, Jeongin joining you. You kicked your legs over onto his lap as your dress rode up your thighs. He tucked your legs tightly into him as he drew random shapes with his fingertips just above your knees. You turned on your TV and flicked through various channels before finally settling on a random rom-com movie. Both of you offering commentary or laughing when appropriate.

You hadn’t noticed how much the wine had affected you until a rather spicy scene played during the movie. Getting an idea, you set the empty glass on the table before maneuvering to straddle Jeongin’s lap. You giggled while leaning in and trailing kisses down his sharp jawline.

“What are you planning, Princess?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Shhh just relax,” you encouraged. With that he leaned his head back on the couch allowing you more access to his neck and jaw.

Jeongin absolutely loved the attention you gave him. Basking in it like his own reward for finding you.

You started to suck on the skin between his neck and shoulder, hoping to leave a mark. His hands wandered to your waist bringing you impossibly closer in his embrace. Jeongin groaned when you licked up from his throat to his lips and captured them in a kiss.

The kissing started off slow, innocent even before turning into a full on session of tongues and teeth. You bit his bottom lip gently pulling it to further tease him. His hands moved from their previous place on your waist down to the back of your thighs where the hem of your dress was caught. He pulled the dress further up until it was just under your abdomen leaving your black lace panties exposed. Jeongin then gripped your ass firmly, squeezing the flesh tightly in his hands. You disconnected from your heated makeout to let out a moan and grind your hips down on his growing bulge.

Jeongin hissed at the movement, but welcomed it nonetheless before catching your lips again and droving his tongue straight into your mouth to lick and suck at your own. Breathy moans continuously escaped your throat as you kept riding Jeongin over his pants. Your slick pooling through your panties and making a wet spot over the crotch of his jeans.

This was all so surreal. This was the first time either of you have taken it this far and it was definitely a welcome change to the typical makeout sessions you both shared. It made you want more of him. All of him.

Suddenly, you pulled away from the kiss and stopped your grinding to get off his lap. Jeongin looked breathless, dazed in the heat of the moment. His lips were swollen from all the kissing. You backed away making a ‘come here’ motion with your finger before turning and heading to your room. He grinned like the Cheshire cat and jumped up from the couch to follow you.

Even though, Jeongin had come over plenty of times by now this was his first time actually stepping foot into your room. Normally he’d look around to take in the sight of everything, but that was the last thing on his mind. There he saw you sitting on the edge of your bed with your legs crossed and that dreamy look in your eyes.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous..” he said barely above a whisper as he made his way over to you. He wasted no time in locking your lips again while pushing you to lay back on the bed. He pulled your left thigh to spread your legs and make room for himself to lay between them. Jeongin rolled his hips to press his clothed cock over your aching center, swallowing the moan you let out in the process. He didn’t want to get too carried away, but God did he want you. All of you.

Against his better judgment he let his body lead. Jeongin’s hands trailing up your sides and over your chest to palm your breasts over your dress. You arched your back slightly loving the feeling. He could feel your nipples harden through the fabric due to the absence of a bra. You secretly thanked the heavens that you didn’t need to wear one with this particular dress.

Not being able to take it anymore, Jeongin ripped the dress off of your form and threw it somewhere in the room to be forgotten. He immediately latched his mouth onto your left nipple while rolling and pinching the right between his fingers before switching sides.

“M-more, Innie, please.” You squeaked through your euphoric haze.

“Hm? Is my baby turning insatiable for me?” Jeongin teased while looking up at you. All you could do was whine and nod your head. You were desperate to feel his touch everywhere.

He leaned up again, getting close to your face as you felt one of his hands slither its way into your panties.

“Are you gonna be good for me, hm?” He asked then pressed an open mouth kiss to your lips.

“Uh huh, promise to be good.”

With your confirmation he spread your wet folds with his ring and pointer fingers while using his middle finger to glide from your clit down to your entrance. Jeongin just barely pushed into your pussy up to his first knuckle before pulling out again. Leaving you to clench around nothing. A pathetic whimper from you gracing his ears. He hushed you with another kiss before rubbing your clit in different ways, trying to find what you liked the most. You can’t lie, all of it felt good, but once he started circling your nub you let out a higher pitched moan than the rest.

“Oh yeah, like that? That’s a good girl letting me know just how to please you.” He cooed, continuing his circling movements on your clit for a bit longer then switched from his middle finger to his thumb so he could freely plunge two fingers inside of you. He pumped them slowly at first letting you get used to his slender digits before becoming a little rougher. Your body reacted to every little move he was doing to you, sending you into overdrive. It just felt so good to have him please you like his life depended on it. You could cum just from this, but he wasn’t done yet. Far from it. He pushed a third finger into you, pressing each one deeper than before and curving them upwards to reach that spongey spot within your core. The rings at the base of two of his fingers adding to the pleasure. The room was filled with the most disgustingly wet shlucking sounds from your pussy and your greedy moans. Your walls began to flutter around his fingers and a band felt like it was going to snap in your abdomen signaling that you were close.

“F-fuck, gonna cum…!” You squealed while your back arched higher off the bed. Jeongin placed his had that was still kneading your breast onto your neck and squeezed on either side.

“C’mon gimme that orgasm, baby,” The delicious pressure of him choking you sent you over the edge. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your body writhed from the force of your first release of the night.

“Mm so pretty when you cum for me,”he praised. You panted heavily, while Jeongin pulled his fingers from you and watched as your juices dripped from his digits down to his wrist. He brought his fingers to his mouth sucking them clean, moaning at the sweet taste of you. Now that he’s had a taste of you there was no going back.

After a few moments you had gotten your breathing mostly under control. Jeongin was still busy licking your cum from his fingers before you had roughly pushed him down onto the bed, straddling him once again.

“Wanna make you feel good too, Innie.” You whispered trailing kisses down his neck to his collarbone. His breathing hitched in his throat when you bit down on the flesh there. He looked down at you as you raised his shirt over his head. You admired his body while running a hand over his abs. He was so toned, you had no idea. You continued kissing down his chest and abs while your hands worked at undoing his jeans. You dipped your tongue into his belly button which sent a chill down his spine. Once, you finally got the zipper down you tugged off his pants and boxers in one go. His hard cock springing free and slapping against his stomach.

It looked heavy. Innie was well above average with equal parts length and girth. It even had a slight curve to the left. The tip of his cock was the same color as his lips and profusely leaking pre-cum. His dick was slightly darker than his skin tone around the base. Even his pubic hair was trimmed showing off his pretty smooth balls. You couldn’t help but marvel at the site of all of him exposed in front you.

“Like what you see?” He smirked with his hands behind his head. He knew damn well that he was good looking. This man was the definition of perfection.

“I more than like what I see,” you winked at him. His cock twitched at the thought of what that might mean.

You took Jeongin’s hard dick into your hand, swiping your thumb over his slit to collect the precum that beaded there. He sucked in a harsh breath at your movements watching you with eyes blown wide. You proceeded to spit on the tip letting it drip down the sides while stroking his shaft to make his cock slick. Brushing your hair out of your face, you leaned down pressing kisses all along the sides of it then licked from base to tip, following the vein on the underside of his dick. He reached a hand down to thread through your hair gently while you slowly took him into your mouth. You focused on licking and sucking the tip first, your tongue swirling around it as you hollowed your cheeks. You began bobbing your head back and forth making the grip he had in your hair tighten slightly. He was letting out deep groans that spurred you on, his symphony of noises being your encouragement. Soon, you added your hand back onto his shaft pumping whatever part of his dick you couldn’t fit in your mouth yet.

“Oh s-shit that feels good, princess.” He stammered. You looked up at him through your eyelashes to see his eyes squeezed shut, adam’s apple bobbing as he breathed heavily. You took that as an opportunity to push his cock deeper into your mouth, pushing him down your throat as you gagged helplessly around him. Tears welling up at your lash line as you closed your eyes for a second to focus on breathing through your nose before opening them again. Jeongin propped himself up on his elbow to watch you take him all the way in your mouth as his jaw went slack.

“Are you crying, baby? Fuck that’s so hot, crying while you’re choking on my cock like that.” He bit his bottom lip. You swear you could feel his cock twitch in your throat once he saw tears cascading down your cheeks.

He gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail to keep you still before he started thrusting, face-fucking you. He thought the noises of you gagging and choking were so pretty, it only egged him on. You kept eye contact with him as he ravaged your throat mercilessly. Feeling drool dribbling from the corners of your mouth. More tears rolled down from your eyes. You moaned around his cock and the vibrations from that were all he needed to bust. He threw his head back with a long moan leaving his lips. Copious amounts of cum sliding easily down your throat. You swallowed all of it, not wanting to waste a single drop. You pulled your mouth off of his cock with an audible pop. Strings of saliva still connecting your mouth to his tip. He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip collecting some of the drool before bringing it up to his own mouth licking it off.

You don’t know why, but you blushed at the gesture. Of all the things you’ve done so far, this is when you decide to get shy?

Before you could get too lost in thought, Jeongin stood up from the bed and gently pushed up down on it. You landed with a slight bounce watching as the man approached you, still hard dick in hand.

“Turn over baby, I want that ass up for me.” He stated with a demanding tone in his voice. His eyes were dark with nothing but lust. You scrambled to fully kick off your soaked panties before switching to your front and propping yourself up on all fours. The bed dipped behind you as he kneeled into position. Your brain might have been buzzing from the heat of the moment and the alcohol from earlier but you still remembered to be safe.

“Umm, Innie. Can you put on a condom please?” You breathed out shyly.

“I don’t have one sweetheart… I’m sorry. I promise I’m clean.” He wouldn’t wear one anyway. Not with you, not when you were going to be his for the rest of your lives anyway.

“I’m clean too, but I’m not on birth control.”

Perfect. He thought to himself. Easier to trap you.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll pull out.” He lied, no he wouldn’t.

“Wait, I think I have one.” You leaned down over the side of your bed and pulled out a box that was tucked away. You opened the box and pulled out a condom, handing it back to your boyfriend. He took it from you with a tight-lipped smile. Jeongin waited for you to turn back around before pretending to open the condom. You got back into position and swayed your ass in front of him. God, you were going to be the death of him. After fumbling with the wrapper a couple more times to make it believable, he tossed the unused condom back behind your desk in the corner of your room. He made a mental note to go over to properly dispose of it later.

Jeongin grabbed his cock swiping the tip through your dripping wet slit a few times, teasing it at your entrance. He tapped his heavy cock over your pussy before lining up.

“You ready, Princess?” He asked, grabbing your hip with his free hand.

“Yes, Innie, please fuck me” You whined desperately.

Jeongin pressed his cock into your aching cunt only going in about halfway before stopping to let you adjust. He hissed through his teeth as your walls were clenching impossibly tight around him. You couldn’t help but let out a loud moan at the delicious stretch of his cock.

“Ah-hah, fuck baby you gotta relax a little bit, I don’t want to hurt you.” The hand that was on his cock reached in front of you to rub your clit in those slow circles he knew you liked.

“Nnng- so big…” you panted. He wasn’t even bottomed out in you yet and he could already tell your mind had gone euphoric.

After a couple more circles around your sensitive bundle of nerves your cunt relaxed a bit allowing him to move again. He slammed the rest of the way into your core figuring you had enough time to adjust. Your body jolted forward at the sudden intrusion, a scream threatening to rip from your throat. Jeongin granted you a few moments before he rolled his hips against your ass making his thick cock grind deeply into your warm pussy. You let out a string of angelic moans as he picked up the pace full on pumping his cock into you at this point. Your ass jiggled every time your bodies fully connected. The raunchy sounds of pure sex resounding off your walls.

“You like taking this cock don’t you, y/n?” He leaned down so he was whispering in your ear.

“Yes, fuck yes, love taking your cock!” You squeaked out as he landed a harsh smack on your ass. Jeongin pushed your front down to be flush with the pillows as he forcefully took both of your arms to pin your wrists behind your back making your arch deepen. The new position allowing him to fuck into your deeper, his cock repeatedly kissing your cervix. You bit down onto one of the pillows to try and somewhat quiet your moans so you wouldn’t get a noise complaint from your neighbors the next morning.

However, Jeongin had other ideas. He looked down to see where you two were connected. A creamy ring forming around the base of his cock from your cunt. His gaze then shifted to your other hole, it just begging for attention too. He gathered saliva in his mouth before spitting right on your puckered hole. This caused you to squeal in response. He let one of his hands go from your wrists as the other kept them in place on your lower back. His thumb rubbing in the makeshift lube before inserting it into your asshole. Jeongin felt your walls flutter around his cock as he pumped his thumb slowly.

“I know you like that, baby. Your body tells me. Fuck, such a dirty girl,” he sped up his thrusts to your pussy while hooking his thumb in place in your ass. You couldn’t deny it, you reveled in the feeling of Jeongin using both of your holes.

You let out a throaty moan as you felt that familiar feeling in your tummy building rapidly.

“J-Jeongin- cumming cumming!!” You screamed. One particularly harsh thrust had your legs shaking underneath you and your pussy clenching around his cock again.

“Mmf fuck yessss, cum for me,” the tightness enveloping his dick made his rhythm stutter spilling his hot seed deep into you.

If you hadn’t been so utterly fucked out you would have felt that his cum was filling you up.

Jeongin let go of your wrists completely and removed his thumb from your ass. Your legs finally giving out from under you making your body fall flat on the bed. Jeongin collapsed on top of you. Both of you trying hard to catch your breath. He moved before you did, removing his now softening cock from within you. His gaze stayed on your core for a bit to make sure you weren’t leaking any of his cum.

Hopefully this will take and she’ll get pregnant. He pondered.

After Jeongin was sure none was going to slip out he rubbed your back and shoulders.

“You did so well for me, y/n. Do you need anything, some water maybe?” He asked you in a warm voice. All you could do was nod.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He kissed your shoulder before getting off the bed and looking for his black boxers to put back on then walked out to the kitchen. You made your way to curl up under your blankets as your body cooled down. The exhaustion of everything finally hitting you. Jeongin returned with a glass full of water encouraging you to drink the whole thing. When you finished he crawled into bed behind you and pulled you close. Your body fitting perfectly in his hold. Before you knew it you had fallen asleep.

“You’re going to be mine forever. I’ll make sure of it.” He whispered, careful not to wake you.

A few weeks later you were late. At first you didn’t worry about it thinking your cycle was only changing like it did every once in a while. But being more than 10 days late was abnormal for you.

There’s no way I’m pregnant.

You panicked immediately going to a pharmacy and buying a pregnancy test. Once you returned home you took it, anxiously waiting for the results. Five minutes had passed and you looked at the test. It was a strong positive. The test dropped from your hands and at your feet on the floor. But how? You and Jeongin have always been diligent about using protection (or so you thought). You had even been in the process of getting a prescription for birth control.

How am I going to tell Innie? What will he think?

You still felt too young to have kids. Maybe you would eventually, but definitely not now. You simply weren’t ready. Jeongin was going to come over later after he got off work, you’d tell him then.

About six hours later there was a knock at your door. You already knew it was your boyfriend, he always knocked a certain way. You opened the door to reveal the bright smile he wore. He held up a bag of food signaling he brought dinner. Jeongin gave you a chaste kiss then made his way inside setting the food on the table.

“Umm, Innie. I have something to tell you.” Your nerves were starting to get the better of you. What if he thought you had cheated on him?

“What’s up baby? You okay?” He caught on to your avoidance to look him in the eye causing his brows to furrow. You made your way into the bathroom where you kept the pregnancy test on the counter. You walked back out simply handing him the test without another word. Jeongin took the stick from your hand with a confused look on his face. He didn’t know what the hell he was looking at.

“It’s a pregnancy test…” you whispered. He looked at you in shock before looking back down at the test figuring out that it was positive.

“My baby is having my baby?!” He sounded.. happy?

“You aren’t mad?” Now it was your turn to be confused. Jeongin picked you up in a hug and spun you around then set you back down.

“No, of course not. I’m ecstatic!” He exclaimed.

There were so many questions you still had but for now you decided to enjoy the moment with Jeongin. If he was this excited about it then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Just a few months ago you were in a funk about not having someone special in your life, but now you couldn’t ask for anyone better to spend it with.

Jeongin had the most devilish smile on his face.

His plan worked perfectly. Now you’d really be his forever.

Do y'all think Innie would keep his socks on while fucking? It makes me laugh just thinking about it haha

Likes, comments, reblogs are much appreciated!

Taglist: @doitforbangchan

[danielfuckingricciardo]

Because I’m in the Eurovision mood I thought I’d share my favourite song from each country (past and present!)

1. Albania 🇦🇱

2022 - Sekret // Ronela Hajati

2. Andorra 🇦🇩

2006 - Sense Tu // Jennifer

3. Armenia 🇦🇲

2014 - Not Alone // Aram MP3

4. Australia 🇦🇺

2015 - Tonight Again // Guy Sebastian

5. Austria 🇦🇹

2014 - Rise Like a Phoenix // Conchita Wurst

(This song makes me feel emotions every time damn it!)

6. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿

2021 - Mata Hari // Efendi

7. Belarus 🇧🇾

2014 - Cheesecake // Teo

(Underrated tune fr)

8. Belgium 🇧🇪

2015 - Rhythm Inside // Loïc Nottet

9. Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦

2011 - Love in Rewind // Dino Merlín

10. Bulgaria 🇧🇬

2017 - Beautiful Mess // Kristian Kostov

11. Croatia 🇭🇷

2023 - Mama ŠČ! // Let 3

12. Cyprus 🇨🇾

2018 - Fuego // Eleni Foureira

13. Czechia 🇨🇿

2019 - Friend of a Friend // Lake Malawi

(Was very hard to choose between this one and Lie To Me. It’s a very close second)

14. Denmark 🇩🇰

2021 - Øve Os På Hinanden // Fyr Og Flamme

(Was robbed in the semi-finals imo)

15. Estonia 🇪🇪

2015 - Goodbye to Yesterday // Elina Born + Stig Rästa

16. Finland 🇫🇮

2022 - Jezebel // The Rasmus

(Should have done so much better imo)

17. France 🇫🇷

2016 - J’ai Cherché // Amir

18. Georgia 🇬🇪

2011 - One More Day // Eldrine

19. Germany 🇩🇪

2011 - Taken by a Stranger // Lena

(Better than Satellite for sure, but Satellite slaps too)

20. Greece 🇬🇷

2008 - Secret Combination // Kalomira

21. Hungary 🇭🇺

2018 - Viszlát Nyár // AWS

22. Iceland 🇮🇸

2020 - Think About Things // Daði og Gagnamagnið

(Basic I know but it’s just such a good tune)

23. Ireland 🇮🇪

2011 - Lipstick // Jedward

(Not sorry about this one it slaps and Jedward are my kings)

24. Israel 🇮🇱

2015 - Golden Boy // Nadav Guedj

25. Italy 🇮🇹

(Gonna have to do a top five because I have such a thing for Italy in Eurovision I can’t pick just one oop)

2017 - Occidentali’s Karma // Francesco Gabbani

2015 - Grande Amore // Il Volo

2018 - Non Mi Avette Fatto Niente // Ermal Meta + Fabrizio Moro

2021 - Zitti E Buoni // Måneskin

2019 - Soldi // Mahmood

26. Latvia 🇱🇻

2022 - Eat Your Salad // Citi Zēni

(As a vegetarian and a bisexual I approve this message)

27. Lithuania 🇱🇹

2021 - Discotheque // The Roop

28. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

1988 - Croire // Lara Fabian

29. Malta 🇲🇹

2022 - Je Me Casse // Destiny

30. Moldova 🇲🇩

(My second favourite Eurovision country so here’s a top three)

2022 - Trenulețul // Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers

2018 - My Lucky Day // DoReDos

2017 - Hey Mamma // Sunstroke Project

31. Monaco 🇲🇨

1964 - Où Sont-elles Passées? // Romuald

(When I say I have an obsession with this song I mean it. PS Monaco plz come back we miss you!!)

32. Montenegro 🇲🇪

2015 - Adio // Knez

- Ranking Morocco doesn’t really feel fair because they only participated once lol -

33. The Netherlands 🇳🇱

2016 - Slow Down // Douwe Bob

(Hehe 33 Max Verstappen number it’s fate fr)

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰

2012 - Crno I Belo // Kaliopi

35. Norway 🇳🇴

2009 - Fairytale // Alexander Rybak

(Listen I know it’s a basic choice but this song is iconic for a reason y’know? It slaps)

36. Poland 🇵🇱

2022 - River // Ochman

(King of the vocals fr brings me to tears every time)

37. Portugal 🇵🇹

2021 - Love is On My Side // The Black Mamba

38. Romania 🇷🇴

2010 - Playing With Fire // Paula Seling + Ovi

39. Russia 🇷🇺

2016 - You are the Only One // Sergey Lazarev

(Listen I’m a Sergey Lazarev stan first and human second. Between 2016 and 2018 I almost exclusively listened to his back catalogue and nothing else)

40. San Marino 🇸🇲

(Underrated country fr no one gets them like I do so they also get a top three)

2022 - Stripper // Achille Lauro

2021 - Adrenalina // Senhit + Flo-Rida

2019 - Say Na Na Na // Serhat

41. Serbia 🇷🇸

2023 - Samo Mi Se Spava // Luke Black

- Also not counting Serbia and Montenegro because they don’t have an emoji flag and they only participated twice -

42. Slovakia 🇸🇰

2010 - Horehronie // Kristina Pelakova

43. Slovenia 🇸🇮

2023 - Carpe Diem // Joker Out

44. Spain 🇪🇸

2019 - La Venda // Miki

(When I say this song was robbed I mean it. One of the biggest injustices faced in Eurovision was Miki coming 22nd)

45. Sweden 🇸🇪

(Sweden get a top three because they’re Sweden… they always slay)

2015 - Heroes // Måns Zelmerlöw

2012 - Euphoria // Loreen

2017 - I Can’t Go On // Robin Bengtsson

46. Switzerland 🇨🇭

2021 - Tout l'Univers // Gjon’s Tears

47. Türkiye 🇹🇷

2010 - We Could Be The Same // maNga

(Türkiye come back we miss you!!)

48. Ukraine 🇺🇦

(Another slay country so here’s a top three)

2018 - Under the Ladder // MELOVIN

2007 - Dancing Lasha Tumbai // Verka Serduchka

2021 - Shum // Go_A

49. United Kingdom 🇬🇧

(In the name of patriotism, of which I have very little, let’s do a top five + an honourable mention)

2012 - Love Will Set You Free // Engelbert Humperdinck

2022 - SPACE MAN // Sam Ryder

1981 - Making Your Mind Up // Buck’s Fizz

1968 - Congratulations // Cliff Richard

1976 - Save Your Kisses for Me // Brotherhood of Man

+ my honourable mention, Freaks // Jordan Clarke which should have been our song for 2019 but the British general public have no taste. I firmly believe this is why they no longer trust us to hold a national selection anymore lol

50. Yugoslavia *insert flag here*

1989 - Rock Me // Riva

(Basic choice I know, to pick their only winning song, but it slaps)

And that’s everyone!! Feel free to judge me hard for my tastes lol 😂

[1d1195]

SAM MY LOVE PLEASE DONT FEEL LIKE YOUR RESPONSE WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! I honestly don’t care how long they may be, like the fact that you’re even acknowledging my asks is already so special to me! So if you ever don’t have the energy to answer, you really don’t have too! I won’t be hurt because you’re well being is far more important ❤️I’m sorry you were feeling a bit off :( I hope you felt better or are feeling better! Hopefully you don’t get sick right before your break!

Also side note when you mentioned sneakers with a wedding dress TELL ME WHY WHEN I THINK OF MILLENNIALS I THINK OF THIS! Like you mentioned side part and I didn’t even think to associate them with that up until this whole GenZ vs Millennial comparisons started to become a thing lol

ANWAYS now let me express my LOVE for toothpaste part 2! Once again you wrote such a good part! And omg this MC is BOLD bc I would actually EXPLODE from the embarrassment if I said that my dentist😭 but honestly I don’t blame her because if my dentist was Harry I would be so down bad it’s not a joke 😭 I loved how we got to read Harry’s pov from reading her file and seeing her for the first time! Ugh it was so cute like you know I love how obsessed each of your Harry’s are with their pairs! AND I LOVE WHEN HARRY GETS FLUSTERED!! It just does something to me that I love when the MC’s do that to him 🤭 AND THAT LAST LINE SAM I CRACKLED AHAH

So good bestie! Hope you are treating yourself well! -💜

NO BUT I LOVE SENDING YOU THOUGHTFUL MESSAGES.

I'm feeling fine! I have semi-chronic stomach issues. I think I (knowingly) ate something that I shouldn't have. It really didn't sit well with me. BUT I feel fine now 😂 BUT REALLY I ALWAYS GET SICK ON OR BEFORE VACATIONS. Ever since I was little. Fortunately I will only get my period during break this year. Lucky me 🙄 Pollen season is upon us though which will be stellar too ☠

I try not to do a whole lot of millennial/gen-z comparisons if I can help it but I will probably be buried in skinny jeans and I would rather be bald than do a middle part 😂 That's so interesting about the wedding dress and sneakers thing! I didn't really think of it as a millennial thing. I meant it as a me thing hahahahaha mainly because I used to DESPISE heels. I had some structural damage to my ankles due to sports and anything with a heel terrified me because I was scared of snapping my ankle again hahahaha but like I said last time, I'm such a wedge girl now so I would probs wear heels at my wedding.

SO glad you liked Toothpaste! I tried to write a version of myself I wish I could be (just slightly bolder than my current self I think--she was still a whiny baby last time about her toothache which was so me). I would never flirt with my dentist either--maybe if he was Harry, that I agree 💕 I have great ammo for my next part after my own trip to the dentist. I know it's part of his job but this man really stuck his whole finger in my mouth and massaged my cheeks and lips around my gum line. It's hard to explain but I either don't remember him doing it the other recent times I've been to the dentist or if I was paying closer attention since I was thinking about Toothpaste the whole time. Honestly it was hilarious when he did it, I was lucky I didn't laugh. Too bad I'll be making it sexual for Toothpaste and probably make it harder on myself when I have my next appointment in six months 😂 I love to make men flustered in general. Always keep them guessing, ya know? 🤭😉

Speaking of men, how is our hot TA?

I am def going to be treating myself to a shopping trip that I cannot afford but I don't care. I am in the mindset (for this weekend) that I am here for a short time and I need to enjoy myself while I can and the money will come back eventually.

Hope you have an amazing weekend and you get to do something fun again! 💕💕

xoxo

[yelenasdog]

𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 (𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚 “𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱” 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: literally the nastiest fucking smut, fluff

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: phoenix isn’t the biggest fan of summer. it’s hot, humid, and penny’s niece has a thing for sundresses. a few too many drinks, and phoenix is letting her know exactly how she feels about them. 

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 4.1k (i got so carried away holy)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: i’m (barely lmao) a minor so if that makes you uncomfy don’t read, reader has hair long enough to tie up, smut, oral (fem recieving), fingering, use of pet names (princess, baby), semi public sex (not really, it’s in a supply room at the hard deck), alcohol mentions, so. much. swearing, i have an obsession w parenthesis (if u can’t tell) and i think that’s it lol

𝐚/𝐧: @eminems-skittles​ and i were texting abt this last night at like 2 am and i was like fuck it so here this is! lmfaooo also, the women in the moodboards (aside from monica obvi) aren’t meant to be what the reader looks like, simply just the dress i imagined reader wearing + the vibes i imagine ms. phoenix was giving at the beach LOL. i’ll stop rambling now, enjoy!

ₒ 𓂂 ˚ 𓂂 ₒ✪ ° ₒ 𓂂 ˚˖⋆

It was summer in Fightertown, U.S.A., a fact that Natasha Trace was unfortunately acutely aware of. The air was so hot and so thick you could slice through it, but it was no better than the tension filling the interior of the Hard Deck as she sat, nursing her beer. Small beads of sweat formed on the nape of her neck, and her normally slicked back hair found freedom in the warmth. The humidity was dreadful in those aspects, but that was manageable. 

Expected, even.

But what wasn’t expected, was Penny’s niece, Y/n.

Y/n was new in town, only staying for the summer to help her beloved aunt out. And during the short time she’d been working at the hard deck, she’d managed to catch everyone’s attention. Phoenix was not exempt from this group. Whatsoever.

Y/n had bright eyes and a soft smile, similar to her aunt in that way. And also in that she had a certain ability to make those around her feel special.

For Nat, it was the light lingering touches when she would hand her a new bottle, attempting to take the old one out of the way. 

Their hands would brush, and the normally assertive Phoenix would find herself blushing and stumbling over her words like a schoolgirl all over again. 

“Sorry!” She’d exclaim, with the sundress donned girl standing opposite of her doing just the same. They’d laugh, and then go their separate ways for the rest of the night until Natasha inevitably needed another beer.

(Or 2, even if the second was only really ordered as she was building up courage to talk to Y/n. Which, spoiler alert, she didn’t.)

This would happen anytime the young aviator came to the old rickety bar, and even though she knew that it was how Y/n was with everybody, she still couldn’t help herself from becoming absolutely infatuated.

Oh, and the other reason Natasha was counting on her lucky stars to make it through this summer? Those damn sundresses.

I mean hey, they’re practical! 

Nat knows better than anyone how the oh, so thin fabric was perfect for the scorching heat. She knew that the flowy shape that managed to drape around Y/n in the most exquisite way, must have been perfect for keeping her cool as she moved about in the crowded establishment. And she knew she felt like a total perv everytime she would watch as Y/n bent over to grab the box of those beers kept under the bar just for Mav.

I mean, shit, she couldn’t help but think about how easy it would be to just sneak her hand under the fabric, make her come apart in front of everyone without them even knowing it. Using just her fingers, taking her right then and there.

But today, things were different. 

It was barely 4:30 (or 16:30, if you had asked anyone in the Hard Deck aside from Y/n, which at the moment, was just Phoenix).

Y/n’s hair was messily tied up, baby hairs wildly astray, similarly to the woman in front of her. She smoothed a manicured hand over the top, taking a second to rest against the bar, white cleaning rag still clutched in her other hand. She allowed herself a moment of peace to watch Natasha, who had come in the hard deck early after being grounded all day.

“So,” Y/n began, her tone slightly unsure, startling the other girl. “What’re you doin’ in here so early, Phoenix?” She looked back up from her feet, warm brown eyes meeting her own.

She shook her head, scoffing, then lifting her hands up to her ponytail. She pulled the elastic from her thick strands, fed up with all of the loose hairs. She let out a sigh of relief, beginning to lightly massage her scalp.

“My plane broke down this morning, and I didn’t have much else to do. It was supposed to be an easy day anyway, so Cyclone gave me the day off.” She lifted an eyebrow in contemplation, taking another swig from the wet bottle in her hand. 

“I sat on the beach for a while, but with this damn heat?” She scoffed again, shrugging in a fluid motion.

“Couldn’t last more than 15 minutes.” She didn’t break her gaze with the sundress clad Y/n, letting her eyes wander shamelessly.

Y/n inhaled deeply, letting her bottom lip go from where she had it stuck between her teeth.

“There’s always the water if you get too hot?” She suggested the mental image of Natasha, soaking wet and in a bikini, almost too much to handle for the poor girl’s heart.

“With heat like this?” Nat shook her head. 

“The water would feel like a jacuzzi.” They both laughed, enjoying the small banter they had created. But this time, they didn’t go their separate ways. 

They stood parallel to each other, both of them struggling to find the right words to say, but wanting so badly to say them, whatever they may be. Soft 80s rock that Natasha could vaguely recognize as Bette Davis Eyes played on the old jukebox, filling the silence that had fallen between them.

“Y/n! There you are!” Penny’s voice echoed through the empty building, causing the two to break apart, Y/n placing a hand to her hips while Phoenix became heavily interested in the ingredients on the beer label, muttering something about  ”wow, that’s a lot of carbs”. 

Penny gave a skeptical look between the two, tilting her head like some confused mutt. Y/n quickly raised a hand and shook her head left to right quickly, her lips in a thin line. Her aunt widened her eyes, her hands barely raising by her wrists and coming up by her thighs in mock surrender.

“Anyway, Hangman just came back from his assignment, so expect a busy night toni-“ She was interrupted by the opening of the swinging doors, Hangman standing in the middle as cadets and experienced pilots alike flowed in around him, patting him on the shoulders as they went.

“First round’s on Bagman, Boys!” Coyote hollered, to which seas of beige began to flock towards the bar. She gave the brunette across her an apologetic look, before starting to tend to those around her.

About an hour and several rounds later, the doors swung open again, this time revealing the one and only Pete Mitchell.

A variety of shouts and hollers saying “Mav!” could be heard, and a wide smile graced Y/n’s features, causing Phoenix to smile as well. After greeting Jake, he made his way to the old bar, slapping his hand down, warmly greeting the younger girl as well.

“Pete!” She exclaimed, excited to see the older man once more. “The usual?” He nodded, already beginning his survey of the room for Penny. She caught his eyes and smiled, causing both Penny and Y/n to roll their eyes.

Natasha’s breath caught in her throat as she watched the exchange, knowing what came next as Y/n bent over. 

The pretty little white dress she wore rode up, per usual, causing Phoenix to just press her thighs together, down her drink, and look away for the millionth time. 

But what she wasn’t expecting was for her to stay down as she searched the shelves, unable to find what she was looking for. She sighed, standing up and talking to Mav, no doubt telling him it’ll “just be a second” as she has to grab his beer from the back. He nodded and smiled, allowing her to sneak off, right past Nat.

And maybe it was the extra drinks in her, or maybe it was just that Phoenix was to her very limit, but that dress was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

And so taking a quick drink before she could convince herself it was a bad idea, she hopped off of the leather stool, and followed Y/n to the back with her head down, and her confidence high.

“Fuck, where is it?” Before she’d known it, Y/n was back on her knees, the bare skin becoming dirty at the contact with the grimy floor. She cringed to herself, wiping down her hands on her thighs.

“Whatcha looking for?”

“Oh my God! Phoenix, you can’t scare me like that!” She laughed, taking the cautious hand that had been offered by the girl above her, Nat doing her best not to melt given the view she had. Y/n took her hand, even just the small contact sending her brain into overdrive.

Nat’s hand slowly made its way from Y/n’s palm to her waist, testing the waters as she ran small circles. Her other hand gravitated towards the door, sliding it shut and locking it with ease.

“Is this okay with you?” Nat questioned, Y/n finding the strength to give her one of her smiles she adored so much.

“This is more than okay, Nat.” She nearly whispered, before her hands found either side of Phoenix’s face, leaning in and connecting their lips for the first time. 

Phoenix still found that Y/n had things about her that were unexpected, this time as she pushed Natasha up against the shelf, the kiss still continuing despite the clattering of empty beer kegs around them. Y/n allowed her tongue to sweep across the other girl’s bottom lip, Natasha letting out a whimper at the idea of what finally was coming to fruition after so long.

Phoenix let her hands wander, her hands pushing up the flimsy material of the sundress and letting it fall back over her hands. She let one finger swipe over her clothed heat, the sudden contact triggering a moan to fall from Y/n’s plumped lips.

Though she knew that with the current state of the music and the rowdy crowd nobody could really have a chance of hearing them, Phoenix still retracted her hand bringing it up to her lips and making a shushing motion.

“Baby, I’ve barely even touched you and you’re causing a riot.” She chuckled, tucking a stray hair behind Y/n’s ear. 

“How long’s it been since someone touched you like this?” She replaced her hand, this time moving the delicate and lacy white panties to the side, running agonizingly slow, yet delicious circles around her clit.

The other girl began to shake her head side to side, trying to form the words.

“Nobody’s ever- Fuck, Nat!” She took the same finger, briefly swiping it down to collect her slick, and bringing it back up to her clit.

“Nobody other than me has ever-Fuck-It’s only been me!” she exclaimed, throwing her head back. Phoenix’s gaze softened, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Oh, honey. I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

The words themselves were enough to cause another cry to sound from her chest, but as Nat took her by the back of her neck and kissed her again, she wasn’t quite sure of the cause. 

Phoenix continued to allow her nimble fingers to stimulate the area, picking up the pace and then slowing down when Y/n would get too loud. 

(Truthfully, if she could have her way, she’d be as loud as she wanted. But hey, she’d take what she could get.)

Her touch altered from gentle to rough, quick to slow, and it all was to watch the girl in front of her unravel in a way Natasha could only describe as sinful.

It was ironic, though, as in that moment, Phoenix could have sworn nobody had ever looked more angelic than Y/n had.

With her head thrown back, white dress hiked up, writhing and grinding up against Nat’s fingers? Phoenix didn’t know how she was still breathing, and truthfully, Y/n had thought she’d died and went to Heaven.

The dainty chains of the necklaces she wore shimmered under the fluorescent light, as did the thin layer of sweat that shone on her chest as it rose and fell.

The straps of her dress had long ago slipped off her shoulders, exposing her breasts to the woman in front of her, only driving her further on her self assigned mission to take Y/n apart piece by piece.

“You have no idea what you do to me when you wear those damned sundresses.”

Not allowing her anytime to adjust, Nat entered two slender fingers, causing a loud moan to be elicited from Y/n’s lips.

“Everytime you wear one, bending over like that to get Mav’s stupid fuckin’ drink. Putting your pretty fuckin’ ass on display for me. Makes me wanna fuck you right there, let ‘em all watch.”

Y/n let out another wanton moan from her filthy words, and Phoenix’s opposite hand quickly found its way to cover Y/n’s mouth, not ceasing her movements. Her palm lightly grazed her clit as her fingers worked in and out, Y/n eliciting another whine, muffled by Natasha’s hand.

Natasha looked up to momentarily watch as the girl in front of her thrashed, her hand that wasn’t supporting her body weight moving to massage the tissue of her breast. Nat let out her own groan upon this realization, burning the mental image into her head. She moved forward, kissing the skin in the surrounding area that Y/n neglected, taking her into her mouth.

“Nat! Oh my God- I”m gonna, Fuck! I can’t, Phoenix!”

Nat released her from her pink lips, her other hand smoothing down her hair while feeling her clench around her fingers.

“Yes, you can, Princess. Hold out for me a little longer, baby.” Nat replied, speeding up her pace. Y/n became louder and louder, her hands grasping at the loose strands of Phoenix’s hair. 

Suddenly, and oh, so cruelly, Natasha removed her fingers, denying Y/n of her sweet release. Y/n mewled, trying to catch her breath.

“If you want this, you need to be quiet for me, can you do that?” Natasha questioned, following Y/n’s gaze, softly dragging her fingertips back and forth her exposed hip.

“Yes, Lieutenant, I promise.”

Natasha groaned, her head dipping down and her fingers digging into Y/n’s flesh.

“Fuck, baby. Say that again.”

A wicked smile found its way to Y/n’s tired features, her lip turning up at the corner. Her finger found the soft skin of Nat’s jaw, tipping her head up to look at her.

“Make me yours, Lieutenant. Take me.”

With that, Nat’s lips found Y/n’s, bringing her into a searing kiss. Their teeth clashed, and Y/n’s hand managed to pull down the top of Natasha’s red tank top, where she, thankfully, wasn’t wearing a bra, having changed straight out of her bikini into the top. 

Y/n let out a sound that was almost pornographic, her head briefly taking solace in the corner of Nat’s neck, her lip latching onto the area, a bruise already forming. 

Her hand toyed with Phoenix’s breast, her other hand tracing down her toned abdomen to below the fabric of her low waisted cutoffs. Nat sharply inhaled, her hands wrapping around Y/n’s shoulders.

“Not now- Shit, Y/n/n- not now baby. Wanna make you feel good.” Her words were breathy as Y/n did her best to mimic Natasha’s previous movements. The sporadic nature of her motions caused Nat to twitch under her.

“Let me take care of you, Lieutenant.” She mumbled, slipping one finger inside her with ease. Phoenix’s eyebrows furrowed, a sigh escaping her lips as she hung her head and bit her lip. Y/n pulled back to watch as Nat used her to hold herself up, basing her movements on her reactions.

She began to feel the familiar tightening around her fingers that she had been inflicting upon her by Nat only minutes ago, and continued her pace. She then retracted her fingers, focusing on maintaining a harsh speed around her clit. A high pitched series of moans came from Phoenix, Y/n leaning forward and shutting her up with her formerly glossed lips, still faintly tasting of watermelon and mango.

“You’re doing so good for me, Princess, fuck. ‘M almost there.” Nat remarked when Y/n pulled away, selfishly wanting to hear as Phoenix reached her release.

“Fucking shit, baby!” She cried, her moans becoming shorter, and her head coming down to the crook of Y/n’s neck. Her hot breath fanned on a sensitive spot, the whimpers elicited from Y/n being what pushed her over the edge.

She came with a small shout, still breathing heavily as Y/n slowly circled the swollen area, helping as she came down from her high.

“Y’know you’re quite a hypocrite about not being loud, Lieutenant.”  She retracted her hand, bringing it up to her mouth and slowly licking them clean, the last one coming from her mouth with a loud “pop!” 

Nat groaned at the sight before her, her hands moving back to Y/n’s waist.

“Shit, Y/n/n, how’d you get so damn good at that?”  

“I learned from the best.” She smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

“By the way,” Y/n started, pulling away. Nat gave a quizzical look, beckoning her on, moving to kiss down her neck. She hummed in a questioning manner, the vibration making Y/n whimper, in a way that could only be described as pathetic.

“I thought sailors were supposed to be the ones who swore like there’s no tomorrow.” She chuckled, her joke getting caught in her throat as Nat looked up, shrugging.

“I guess it’s the whole Navy.” She casually remarked, before resuming her good work. Her hands found the hem of the dress, quickly discarding it, leaving her bare in just those fuckin’ white panties. The small bow Phoenix had failed to notice upon initial discovery of the garment made her feel some kind of way, as if she was a present waiting to be unwrapped.

“You look so pretty like this, Y/n/n.” Natashes remarked, her voice almost a whisper.

And she did, pupils blown out, lips hung ajar, a downright mess for the woman standing opposite to her (and only for her). A soft smile graced her features as she felt a certain warmth creep its way up her neck and to her cheeks at the compliment. Nat grinned at the sheepish behavior, diving back in, leaving open mouth kisses on her chest.

Y/n felt it as the brunette took her time, leaving the most perfect bruises, just like the ones she had left on the other’s neck. She was certain they would be at least somewhat noticeable by the time she had returned to her shift, but she couldn’t find it in her to care in the slightest.

Her head involuntarily was thrown back once more (though she wished she could have watched what was happening), as Natasha continued her endeavor down the center of her body, leaving a trail of kisses and bitemarks alike. 

When she finally reached her clothed cunt, she left teasing kisses on the inside of her thighs, her hands supporting the back of them, her short, dull nails leaving crescent marks on the supple flesh.

She looked up and bit her lip for the thousandth time (she was sure by the end of this she’d be in dire need of some Carmex), smiling at the goddess of a woman above her. 

Y/n thought the same, watching as the Athena-esque woman that was Natasha Trace held her with strong arms and soft hands, having them move to trace up the front of her underwear, pressing firmly and suddenly right where Y/n needed Nat most.

“Oh, Fuck.” She brokenly responded, her breath once again being held from her as Nat slid the white fabric down her thighs, the wetness that had been accumulating for so long beginning to drip down her thigh. 

Phoenix, seeing the opportunity, immediately leaned forward, drawing her tongue along it and cleaning it up, accented with a small nip of her skin. She continued on her path, pressing french kisses to her mound, avoiding where Y/n wanted her most, in stark contrast to earlier.

Y/n, overwhelmed, bit down on the palm of her hand in fear of Natasha stopping if she had heard her make any noise. She took quick notice of this, pulling away momentarily.

“It’s okay, baby, I wanna hear you.”

Y/n widely smiled, groaning as she continued to chase Phoenix's mouth with her heat, blinded by want. Natasha followed her, finding a smooth rhythm. The supply room was filled with the most wonderfully obscene noises, accompanied by the chanting of Nat’s name like some kind of prayer. Phoenix pulled back, her chin glistening with slick and her eyes bright.

“You have the prettiest fuckin’ cunt I’ve ever seen, Princess.”

Y/n felt another wave of heat to her core at her words, which was swiftly and skillfully combated by Nat’s tongue and her nose bumping at her clit. She continued on, moaning into her core at the sweet taste on her tongue, that she was sure was her new favorite.

Grasping at her breasts, she began to feel the familiar building in her stomach, her breath became shorter, and the room started to get hotter.

“Lieutenant-”

“I know baby, I know.”

“Nat, fuck!”

“Come on, baby, I’ve got you. Come for me, princess.”

Hearing her words, that was all she needed to be pushed over the edge with a series of moans, leading up to an exclamation of Nat’s name.

Feeling as her body became rigid, Natasha slowly pressed open mouthed kisses to her clit, taking her through her high as she came down, her body erratically moving in Phoenix’s arms. She then worked her way up, feeling her body become fluid once more in Phoenix’s arms.

They made quick work of recovering, though Y/n could quite make the shaking from the adrenaline to subside. She pulled on her dress first, and before she could find her underwear, she looked over to where Nat had already fixed herself up, and had them hanging from her finger.

“Lookin for these?” She asked, a smug smirk adorning her features.

Y/n jokingly scowled, rolling her eyes.

“Give ‘em, Phoenix. I’m serious.”

Nat threw her hands up in mock surrender, shaking her head and looking to the side.

“I mean, they’re ruined anyway. It’d be best not to have them on.” She persisted. Y/n moved her hands to her hips, realizing that she wasn’t going to budge.

“Whatever, Nat.” She laughed, moving past her, and leaning down to grab the box she had originally came back there for.

Much to Phoenix’s surprise, though, she bent at the knees, revealing absolutely nothing.

Her jaw dropped at this, realizing that all these times-

“It was a ploy?!” She almost yelled, a huge smile on her face.

Y/n turned around, this time taking her turn to shrug.

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Nat was left by herself in the small space as Y/n smiled, unlocking the door and walking out to the bar, where Mav was nursing another beer.

“Mav! Sorry I took so long. I see you ended up with just a normal Bud Light, eh?”

Just then, Natasha walked back out, taking her seat at the bar that somehow hadn’t been filled in her absence. Pete looked to her and then to Y/n, shrugging as he took another swig.

“Well, I saw Phoenix follow you back and shut the door, so I figured it would be awhile.”

A mortified look briefly crossed both of their faces, to which he only laughed, laying a hand on top of Y/n’s.

“It’s all good, really. Me and Penny have had our-“

“Okay, okay! Got it, Mav. Thanks.” Y/n choked out, a laugh following suite as she propped up one of his drinks next to him before walking over to where Natasha was sitting, chatting with Hangman. Phoenix gestured for her to come over to the other side of the bar, so she ducked down, coming to stand next to her with her hand on her shoulder.

“So, Y/n,” Jake started, standing from his perch. “Maybe next time you’ll pull me into the closet with ya, hmm?” He clapped Nat on the shoulder in what seemed like some sort of bro solidarity, walking off with a smile.

Phoenix gave him a scowl, pulling Y/n down onto her lap by her waist, her hand quickly finding its way up her skirt once again. Y/n’s breath caught, awaiting her next words with a giddy smile doing its absolute best not to escape.

“Not a fucking chance.”

ₒ 𓂂 ˚ 𓂂 ₒ✪ ° ₒ 𓂂 ˚˖⋆

i hope you liked that! if you did, pls make sure to reblog and comment! have a great day/night! make sure to drink some water and eat some protein mwah bye y'all

xx hj

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Ice Queendom Recaps: “Red, White, Black, Yellow”

Hello, RWBY fandom! It feels good to be back.

Technically I never left — still answering the occasional ask, just finished up "The Girl in the Tower" recap — but between the extra long hiatus and my continuing obsession with Our Flag Means Death, it feels like I've been out of the RWBY loop for a while. I wanted to start this post with that acknowledgement because I had assumed that's why I didn't realize that Ice Queendom had dropped the first three episodes. Sure, I got an anon asking my opinion of the reboot (AU? Rewrite? We're all a little unclear about that still), but I had thought that was just in preparation for the July 3rd premiere. So imagine my surprise when I did a bit of googling last night — just in case — and found a new trailer, then a three episode sneak peak, but it weirdly wasn’t on First, but it was on Crunchyroll, and (at the time) it was set to drop on YouTube at 1:00pm today, but only for a short period? Some fans had clearly seen the episodes already, yet there wasn't nearly the amount of posting I'd expect for a community-wide, anticipated drop, and official information seemed to be scarce ... but surely my confusion was simply a result of me taking a semi-break from keeping up with all RWBY info, right?

Ehhh...

This is an excerpt from MurderOfBirds’ tweet thread (URL posted at the end of the recap, in case tumblr is still being weird about links) and, if you've been in the RWBY community for any significant length of time, you'll understand my shock that he of all fans was calling RT out like this. To be honest, I don't have much to say beyond, "This is happening"? From what little I've gathered, fans seem to have enjoyed the IQ premiere — or at least, they haven't called for a salt and burning yet — but RT's relative success in that regard doesn't suddenly erase all the other problems surrounding RWBY as a franchise. RTX planning remains a mess, communication about upcoming projects is shoddy at best, RT's company culture is continually under fire, worries about Volume 9 and the upcoming video game haven't disappeared just because we've had little reason to discuss them lately, etc. Regardless of what we think about IQ as a story, it's coming into a tumultuous IP — to put it mildly.

Again, I fully acknowledge that I haven't been actively seeking out every bit of RWBY info lately, but the fact that I, someone who is generally working to keep up with the story, had to suddenly scramble to figure out how and when and why a big chunk of the new installment was releasing now is... not great. And apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way.

That said, let's get into the story proper. In case it's not abundantly obvious by the title, I've decided to keep these recaps separated by episode, despite 1-3 releasing as a single hour of content. You all know I can write enough for each, even with a lot of this plot being repeated. No sense in giving you all a dissertation to wade through lol.

Let's do it!

We begin, as we did originally, with Salem's voice-over telling us how the humanity of today came to be.

(Oh yay, a nice het-centric creation myth. Look, I really wasn't joking about being obsessed with OFMD right now. After months of canonical queer pirates, I'm feeling a little salty towards RWBY's version of queer rep. I won't get over it, sorry, but I promise I won't bitch about it too much.)

(Actually wait, one more point: I saw a post here — which I’ve now lost — where the author didn't seem terribly enthusiastic about IQ, but they said they'd forgive it if Blake and Yang made out in every upcoming scene and like yeah, joke-y posts are jokey-y, I love them, but AS IF. If IQ confirms Bumbleby I'll just straight up die of shock. You all can @ me in the afterlife.)

(But oh god can you IMAGINE if IQ confirmed the fandom's biggest ship before the webseries? Chaos. Calamity. An actual, defensible position for IQ being better. It would be a complete disaster, yeah... but potentially an entertaining one.)

Anyway, back to the plot. We go through a version of our opening speech and, frankly, I don't think the actress playing Salem sounds nearly as menacing as Taylor does. I've always cared more about the characters themselves than the actors playing them, so I don't have any big opinions on the casting here. This is just a little acknowledgement that, had I been watching IQ prior to RWBY, I never would have gone, "Oh, this is our villain" like I did during the webseries’ opening. At least not until the end of the episode when we get the more threatening dialogue. Regardless, the animation more than makes up for that, showing us not merely the paper-like history of humanity, grimm, and the rise of their combat capabilities, but far more visceral images like a man collapsing amidst a field of flames, very nearly succumbing to them. That sells the idea of humanity almost crumbling back to dust.

But then, “The smallest spark of hope brought forth a great light” and humanity discovers capital 'D' Dust, which allows them to maintain and spread civilization despite the grimm. Salem says that it was through their “power and ingenuity” that they secured it and I'm like... really? Because the animation just shows an almost-dead guy stumbling upon a glowing rock in the ground and presumably thinking, "Hey, that might be useful." Not sure there's much power and ingenuity in randomly finding a magic mineral lol.

With the history lesson out of the way, we find Ruby at Summer's grave with... a military-like march soundtrack? It's an intriguing choice and, combined with Ozpin’s introduction + Weiss' AU design, I'm curious to see how much this story will feed into RWBY's (badly managed) anti-military themes. Though introducing our simple soul protagonist with that vibe doesn't seem like a great start...

What is done well is the character work in this scene. Actually, that's something I want to praise about the episode as a whole: IQ is very good (so far) at developing the cast and the world, something it absolutely has over the original RWBY. Remnant feels lived in, the characters' stories are better intertwined — helped by making this episode a combination of the trailers and “Ruby Rose” — and I actually feel like they have internal lives they're living, rather than just existing as archetypal puppets under the Rule of Cool's strings. Sure, RWBY gets better at that as time goes on — I wouldn't care about the early Volumes like I do if the characters didn't feel engaging to me — but IQ nails it right from the start.

Case in point, Ruby isn't just staring at a mysterious grave that was added last minute because hell, why not. She's really talking to Summer, telling her all about how Yang made it into Beacon Academy and that she "always said she wanted to be a huntress." Such a small line of dialogue and yet suddenly Yang’s motivations better align with Ruby's. Rather than being the party girl just out for a good time (the club scene doesn't even make it into this episode, if it shows up at all), Yang always wanted to be a huntress, specifically — just like their mom. It stabilizes Yang's career path and helps sell the idea that one primary, personal conflict is how Ruby will break away from her sister's shadow: she's talking to Summer primarily about her "sis," she wants to be a huntress just like Yang, she's kinda jealous that Yang is already on her way — a nice detail that makes Ruby feel like a legit person with complex emotions — Tai is worried about his youngest standing on her own, and meanwhile Ruby is asking her mom, “What can I do to be more like [Yang]?” Frankly, this scene sells the idea of Yang raising and influencing Ruby far more than the entirety of Volumes 1 and 2 did. We can see how Yang has become the mother figure that Ruby is desperate to emulate, even as she says she also wants to follow in Summer's footsteps. From Yang and Tai talking about Ruby like they're the parents waiting on their wayward child, to the hug where Ruby is positioned more like the child as Yang holds her and looks to Summer —

I feel like the show has visually told me that Yang helped raise Ruby, episodes before we get to that talk with Blake. Sure, they're absolutely still playful sisters — and Yang calls Summer "Mom." No Raven complications just yet — but IQ changes the dynamic slightly, making Yang come across as more mature and, consequentially, more of a mentor figure for Ruby. Yang is someone Ruby needs to eventually step away from in order to forge her own path.

Also, love that they give them the exact same wink. Again, they're close and we can see Ruby mimicking some of Yang's mannerisms:

However, this is perhaps as good a time as any to admit that I don't really like the character designs? Outside of their normal outfits/distinguishing features, of course. I mentioned weeks back that I find their eyes to be creepy as hell and though I realize now that's a visual staple of the creator's... it doesn't change that I think they're creepy lol. Worse, there's something very doll-like about the models that makes my skin crawl. It's not too bad when we've got a fight sequence going on, but when Ruby is just standing there with her unnatural eyes, glossed lips, painted cheeks, kinda shiny skin like she might be made of porcelain...

Yeesh.

I don't know. I'm assuming this is purely a me problem (no doubt born from too many horror movies in my youth) and not every shot is bad! But some definitely make my brain go, "Nope, nope, nope, NOPE" in a very Uncanny Valley kind of way.

I mean sure, the animation quality is undoubtedly better, but original Ruby just looks more... real to me? You know? Does anyone else get that?

Yeah, I can't explain it well. It’s fine. Just don't let IQ!Ruby into my room at night, please.

We cut to Weiss standing before the garden monument — which I've only now realized is kinda weird. Who gives a snowflake wings? —  and she's approached by Klein who is, for all intents and purposes so far, a totally different character. There's no sign of his semblance (no real loss imo) and he's far more formal — deferential — towards Weiss than he’s ever been in the webseries. Gone is the chaotic, buddy-buddy dynamic they had and in its place is the far more common “Play-by-the-rules butler has a soft spot for the young mistress, allowing for a bit of parental love to shine through.” Think Carson with Lady Mary. Or even Alfred with Bruce. Though I’m personally a big fan of this character type—I’m an absolute sucker for love pushing up against class/social expectations/job formalities—this is a case where IQ arguably moves backwards. Rather than introducing a bit of depth like we saw between Ruby and Yang, we’ve reverted to a far simpler setup. Which, I want to emphasize, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think Klein is important enough to necessitate that creativity when being a fond, long-suffering butler serves the story just as well. It’s just an observation that they have stripped him of what made him stand out from the butler crowd.  

He tells Weiss that the “arrangements” have been made and they walk together to the ballroom where her final test is to take place. On the way we spot a day-drinking Willow from behind and the shot reminds me a bit of the comic panels:

and we also run into Whitley, still leaning smugly against the wall like he did in the webseries. This time though I’m reading him through the lens of the kid he is, rather than the scheming, Jacques Jr. that both stories seem to be going for. See: Whitley smirking from the shadows while Weiss walks through beams of beautiful light, finally settling between the pillars in the full sun. It’s not subtle.

This is one of a couple split-screens in our opening episode and though it’s a technique the webseries has made use of recently (think the Team RWBY vs. Ace Ops fight), personally it’s something that I think should be used sparingly. Like here, do we really need to get Klein’s reaction and, in the process, see the awkwardness of Weiss with half a face? Or, in a moment, a shot of her boots?

Next to the contrast of Weiss and Whitley, which actually serves a narrative purpose, these just feel unnecessary. Technique for the sake of technique.

We also get a shot of the family portrait as Weiss passes by. Nothing detailed unless you pause the episode, but it's a glimpse of that supposedly picture-perfect family right before we see it unravel. Whitley questions Weiss’ ability to pass this test, she tells him to just watch her do it, and then we get what I think is a damn solid line:

“I’ve always watched you, my fearless, foolish sisters."

We’ve got the story introducing that there's a third sibling before we see Winter at the test. There’s Whitley's quiet admission that yes, he's been watching them (looking up to them) for, presumably, years. Also an acknowledgement of those complicated emotions tied up in their choice to not just become Huntresses, but to use the career as a means of escaping their father's abuse when he, someone without combat skills, can't follow them. Is it foolish then, or fearless? Depends entirely on whether you have that option to begin with. This is a Whitley who, right from the start, feels like a kid struggling under an inability to follow in his sisters' footsteps, despite how the animation paints him as the shadowy antagonist, with the concept of paths and having to carve out your own tying in nicely with Blake's story.

Weiss arrives at the test where both Winter and Jacques are waiting for her. It puts them on fairly even footing — both watching this dangerous battle with detachment, both taking up the same position on opposite sides of the room — despite the fact that verbally Winter is more supportive of Weiss than Jacques has ever been in his life. Still, that parallel combined with Winter being "too busy" when Weiss leaves for Beacon and her cold approach to training her in the flashback makes this version of Winter seem far less welcoming than the original. “The powerless return to dust. That is the law of this world” she tells Weiss after she fails to defeat all of her summons (as seen in the Volume 5 short) and while that is a very cool line that hints at how Remnant's history has influenced the peoples’ philosophy, it’s also a damn bit more dismissive than Weiss promising to do better and Winter saying only that she hopes she can — she'll need it to escape. I can't imagine this Winter playfully batting Weiss' head and demanding information about the friends she's made.

I do want to emphasize that Weiss' entire story is much clearer for the audience though. We're told exactly who all these people are (at least in relation to one another). We've established that Weiss is undergoing a test to get into Beacon. We have a line about Klein releasing the grimm, right on the heels of our intro explaining wtf grimm are, and oh look, now she's fighting it. All of "Red, White, Black, Yellow" flows together more smoothly than the trailers + "Ruby Rose” do, meaning there's no mad scramble to, say, explain to the community that this is a flashback, Weiss got that scar during her fight—look, there’s a bit of blood—she’s singing on her father’s orders, yeah idk why exactly it’s just a thing she does, mhmm the fight is a test to get into Beacon, etc. I didn’t come into RWBY until Volume 3, but I remember finding old posts that worked to clarify the iffy canon of our trailers (and, indeed, acknowledging that some details like Ruby’s strength against the grimm remain in the realm of “Not canon, actually”) as well as explaining what precisely happened in each. None of that is necessary here. The only thing the scene doesn’t clarify is how a suit of armor is also a grimm, but failing to get into the possession abilities is small potatoes compared to the potential confusion we started out with.

Yet despite the obvious benefits of that clarity, the fight itself is just… fine? Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about it—except, perhaps, the weird glyph sound effects that I personally hate—yet even following much of the original choreography, I didn’t have an emotional investment in this fight like I did the White Trailer. I think a great deal of that comes down to the music. Though I’ve always agreed that the soundtrack is a huge part of RWBY’s personality, I didn’t realize quite how much of the emotion it carried until it was gone. The generic battle music of IQ just can’t compare to hearing

Mirror, mirror

Tell me something,

Who’s the loneliest of all?

…I’m the loneliest of all.

while Weiss is framed in front of the broken moon, expression stony, this epic moment inter-cut with her future self belting this lament, all right before she drives through the knight and lands, perfectly confident in her victory.

IQ!Weiss technically has the same combat beats of the original fight (with the exception of the knight’s sword nearly crushing Klein??), but it’s a completely different vibe. IQ!Weiss feels frantic at the end to me and her getting to coldly demand the Beacon reward from her father is a one-up moment that doesn’t jive with, say, Weiss later trying to muster up a fake smile in the elevator to convince her family that everything’s fine. She feels too confident, like she’s already won against Jacques and RWBY!Weiss’ journey (marred as it was by Volume 8) isn’t even on the table anymore. And, you know, maybe it’s not. Though the changes are subtle so far, this is already a very different version of Weiss. Personally, I prefer the theme of loneliness in the original: Weiss standing as the knight is obliterated behind her, bloody face fading into someone who, despite this victory, is still left standing there, alone on stage, performing for her father. She won the battle, but is still fighting the war.

(Gotta love shots like this though. The size difference! The scale! The seemingly insurmountable challenge!)

With a red leaf that looks a lot like a rose petal flying by—nice—we transition to Blake who is…

…Naruto running with Adam?

alksdfjalsjfa okay, cool.

Their section is pretty similar to the Black Trailer, though this time around Blake’s decision to leave feels like it’s really coming out of left field. I mean, she questions whether they’ll be fighting actual people, but Adam reframes that around Blake’s courage and there’s no visual cue from her that he’s wrong about that. Then we get a seemingly sweet moment where she doesn’t even look at the Atlas soldier behind her, knowing Adam’s got her back

and though she’s clearly not happy about Adam crashing the train when there are people on board, Blake doesn’t have that much of a reaction to it. She just walks over to the next car and severs the connection, leaving the audience with Adam’s supremely awkward line, “Are you betraying me? Betraying the White Fang?”

Easily the worst part of the episode for me 😬 You know you haven’t written a scene well when a character has to spell things out in the most heavy-handed way possible.

To be honest, I’ve always found the Black Trailer to be the weakest of the bunch and I don’t think IQ has succeeded in improving on it. If anything, I think having Blake sneak away while Adam is busy with the mech, only for him and the audience to both realize she’s on a different, separated car works better than… this. I suppose neither version really sells me on the idea that this was a breaking point for Blake and if it wasn’t, why leave now, right in the middle of a mission? Compared to the clarity of our other stories, Blake’s remains lacking in some respects.

We get to Ruby’s Dust shop robbery and, given that we’ve just gone through two of the trailers, I’m a little disappointed that the Red Trailer wasn’t included. Certainly it’s the least plot connected of the four and yes, they’ve done away with Yang’s too, but Ruby taking out a horde of grimm under a shattered moon is the defining image of the franchise—at least for me. It’s not just what IQ decided to cut out though. Like Weiss’ fight sending a very different message thanks to the time spent on clarifying her test and its consequences, the development of Ruby’s character pre-robbery means that we’ve lost the appealing surprise of who she really is. What I mean is, outside of the Red Trailer, the moment Ruby turns—tiny, bright-eyed, sporting headphones and a weapons magazine—is our first introduction to her and that particular image contrasts wonderfully with her kicking that goon to hell and back. I mean sure, we already know how such “surprises” work (especially in a combat webseries. It’s not really a surprise), but I still love the (supposed) shock of this child being cornered, but then turning around and kicking ass.

That doesn’t happen in IQ precisely because the show does a better job of developing Ruby beforehand. We’ve already watched her tell Summer about how she might be getting bad grades, but she’s an expert with weapons. She’s already visited a weapons store before popping into the Dust shop.

She’s already gushed over the weapons magazine and even quoted from it, rather than that existing purely as a background detail for the audience to catch. Hell, we’ve already seen Crescent Rose, at least in its compact state, which makes the robbery “reveal” no longer a reveal at all. There’s no, “Oh cool the vulnerable kid is actually a badass fighter! And she’s got a scythe!!” reaction because the show has established that as a firm part of Ruby’s characterization. We know about Yang and Beacon and Ruby’s long-term combat goals. This

just doesn’t have the same impact anymore.

It’s the same with Zwei. Do I love seeing my favorite pupper right in the first episode? Hell yeah. Have we now lost the opportunity to introduce him through the mail—another iconic RWBY moment? Also yeah.

Which, again, is not automatically a bad thing. This isn’t a case of “Choice A works, but Choice B doesn’t.” Although IQ’s timeline is arguably a more productive way to write a long-term story, in inevitably comparing it to the webseries, I can’t help but notice that we’ve lost a certain absurdity and, well, fun that’s a part of RWBY’s charm.

(That’s an awesome shot though. Love the lighting.)

So Ruby works her way through the goons—a combat sequence I quite enjoyed. Very liberal on the crunchy faces. Looked painful—and Roman runs through most of his original lines. This time he does comment, “Semblance? A Beacon Academy student?” when Ruby busts out the window, which both hints at the fact that semblances might be comparatively rare (remember that Roman doesn’t have one) and, by extension, highlights Ruby’s innate abilities. The fact that Roman assumes she must go to Beacon implies that only someone two years older than her could pull that kind of control off. Ruby, as the talented protagonist, has managed this early.

Roman throws his smoke bomb, runs up the building, Ruby follows him… calls him a thief even though technically he didn’t take any of the Dust with him lol. While they’re on the roof, Tai, Yang, and Zwei arrive on the scene, having grown worried when Ruby failed to return home at a normal time.

(Why is that clock so cool and why don’t I own it.)

Again, IQ does a really great job of fleshing out the world and the characters’ relationships, especially in just 20 minutes. I love that Ruby was out looking for a present for Yang (still bitter we never got to see what she bought her in Volume 6), that Yang and Tai have this conversation about Ruby’s growth, Zwei is being used as a bloodhound to track her, the fact that yeah, of course there are other civilians about and the police were called on scene.

Personally, I think there’s a nostalgic charm to RWBY’s shadow people, but it’s still true to say that animating actual characters responding to situations goes a long way towards making your world feel lived in. 

Also, can I just SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS that Tai is out looking for his daughter? I never cared about his character much until post-Volume 3 when the fandom started dragging him for… well, everything. How dare you make a joke your daughter clearly loved. How dare you tell her the truth in an effort to keep her from losing another limb—or her life. (Which, I will always point out now, happened! Yang stupidly jumped in front of Ruby, just like she stupidly charged Adam, and Neo killed her!! You have a ranged weapon, Yang, oh my god—) How dare you fail to follow one kid while the other is at home with severe depression. How dare you not follow both when [checks notes] you’re not a part of the primary plot. Tai really went the way of Ozpin and Ironwood (pre-Volume 8 Ironwood, anyway) where potential mistakes are declared unforgivable sins and… that’s it. You’re Remnant’s #1 Worst Dad. Sucks to be you.

So hell yeah, good on IQ for reminding everyone that Tai, even an AU Tai, is of course worried sick over his missing kid and will do whatever he can to help her. Double kudos for managing that alongside a slight increase in mom!Yang energy.

Glynda (my beloved) shows up and does her thing. Cinder never comes out to fight them, but we still see her piloting the airship, which is interesting. At least, it is to me given that I’d assumed going into IQ that a lot of the larger plot-lines would be dropped in favor of the new story: the White Fang, Cinder’s lust for power, even Salem herself. Obviously that’s not the case, so now I’m wondering if IQ is like an interlude type story? We get a mostly-the-same Volumes 1-2, then a totally new adventure, then the implication that the characters go back to a version of the original tale with Relics, Maidens, la de da? We’ll have to see.

After Ruby DOESN’T ask for Glynda’s autograph (tragic) and she’s getting her lecture while Tai and Yang wait at the station, Ozpin shows up to… salutes?

That’s a choice.

You know how I was saying that Whitley’s characterization feels more in line with where he’ll end up several Volumes later? Well, Ozpin’s characterization feels more in line with where the show says he ends up several Volumes later… even though they never actually wrote that. Meaning, this is an Ozpin introduction that actually implies an ulterior, morally gray motive. This is a guy that does feel sketchy to me.

Let’s tally the details.

Ozpin arrives at the station—now overtly a police station and not the ambiguous closet of the webseries—and is saluted by everyone there. He doesn’t wave the formality aside with discomfort or anything, but takes it as a given. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that was Ironwood walking into the room.

He still gives Ruby cookies, but this time we see that he didn’t arrive with them. Meaning, he must have made one of the officers scrounge them up which, while still potentially just a nice gesture, feels like it has more potential for manipulation. More “Do the work for me so I can look good to the kid” rather than, “I heard Glynda had you in her clutches and brought cookies from home to soothe that :D”

Ruby never gives her passionate speech about wanting to help people like her parents taught her to and how Beacon is her plan to do that. So although the fandom has long assumed that Ozpin invited her partly due to her Silver Eyes—an assessment I agree with—that motivation feels far more prominent without Ruby overtly wanting to come. At least, she doesn’t tell Ozpin she wants to come. Now, instead of making Ruby’s wish come true (with the added benefit of assisting Ozpin’s war) Ozpin offers a place seemingly out of the blue, still putting some focus on Ruby’s combat skills, far more on those special, Silver Eyes. This feels like a recruitment now, not a benevolent gesture towards a family friend’s kid.

Going off of that, there’s no playful banter between Ozpin and Glynda about Ruby getting in early. This Ozpin has very little of the kind, fatherly energy of the webseries.

Finally, we see Ozpin talking to Tai afterwards and though Tai is quite taken with Ruby getting to skip two years, it’s not like Ozpin is asking his permission here. Sure, sure, we could get into the question of how much agency Remnant kids actually have—Blake’s parents are cool with her going off to Beacon after being missing for a time, no one is looking for Oscar, etc.—but the point is that twice, once before meeting Ruby and once after, Ozpin has the chance to offer Tai this opportunity for his daughter, but very overtly does not. He says that he will be speaking to Ruby. He says that she will be attending Beacon. He’s in control here.

The combination of this creates a far less approachable, more calculating Ozpin. AKA, the kind of Ozpin that RWBY failed to write, but the fandom insists is there in an effort to make the fury in Volume 6+ make sense. I’m not sure how I feel about it? On the one hand yeah, I’m glad to see IQ setting the stage for future reveals. This is an Ozpin who really might be puppeteering this war in a way the cast can be justifiably disgusted by. Yet on the other hand, it doesn’t feel much like Ozpin to me. Though small changes have been made to all the characters, they still feel like themselves (Klein being the exception). Ozpin though… there’s no interest in Ruby’s passion, no teasing Glynda, no intimacy with Tai. Seriously, go back and watch “Ruby Rose.” We’ve got Ozpin’s dad-like concern over Ruby using one of the “most dangerous weapons every designed,” his clear fondness for his “dusty old crow,” offering the cookies only after Ruby has explained herself a bit and her actually eating them (comfortable in his presence/trusting what he gives her), the eye-twitch when she talks with her mouth full, fond smile as Ruby gushes about her uncle, laughing a little at her karate chops, “adorable girl,” the very stern “You want to come to my school?” which forces Ruby to clearly state her own goals and desires (that oh so conveniently align with his), THIS

I mean, Ozpin is a dad. I feel like that’s a very crucial part of his characterization. He’s a romantic who settled down, had kids, does the stupid voices while reading his beloved fairy tales… and then his life went to absolute shit. He’s an exhausted dad who is still fighting because he believes wholeheartedly that the world is worth fighting for. He’s exactly the kind of guy who would bring a talented kid cookies and let her skip two years, all while ensuring her happiness benefits humanity somehow.

This guy feels like a creep—and that’s not just because of the weird doll features.

So good for the fandom, finally has a legitimately suspicious Ozpin to embrace? Yay IQ laying the groundwork for future plot-points? But as my favorite character, I wish we had Ozpin back. Especially since he’s only existed as an extension of Oscar for the past five Volumes, one everyone uses as a punching bag.

Maybe his characterization will change in the upcoming episodes? :(

We near the end of “Red, White, Black, Yellow” with a bit of additional worldbuilding slapped onto the trailer content. Weiss learns from Winter that there are hard rules to their totally-not-magic system—“Your Aura can only take a direct attack once or twice at most. The moment you’re hit, you’re finished”—and that’s reiterated by Glynda to Ruby: “Is your Aura strong enough to stop every bullet they fired?”

Cue me CACKLING at, like, every single RWBY fight ever. Will IQ do what the webseries couldn’t and actually stick to its own rules? We’ll have to see…

Blake is off in a… barn? Some isolated place with a bag of supplies now. She gets her admission notice from Beacon and I have to wonder when she took that exam. Was it before she left Adam, thereby making her leaving him feel a little less random? Was it after her escape and she’s been, what? Just running through grimm infested territory since then, popping into Beacon once for a quick test? Why didn’t she ever go home?? Yeah, there are still aspects that don’t quite add up for me. Regardless, Blake gets teary and says that now she’s really able to follow a “different path.”

Klein sends Weiss off with faith that she’ll carry on the legacy of Master Nicholas Schnee and, after Ruby tells Tai that she’ll make a ton of friends at Beacon (that’s a change in characterization), we finish with them all boarding the same transport. We then get a really lovely moment where both Weiss and Blake stare at their reflection on opposite sides of the ship, mustering up a smile.

Watching OFMD grow as a fandom these last few months, I’ve gotten to see a lot of people question certain fandom trends that have popped up, including asking, “Wait, people ship that?” Ignoring for the moment that you obviously don’t need a reason beyond, “I like it,” we can usually pinpoint why fans end up liking that particular duo (or trio). The important takeaway here is that it doesn’t take much—at ALL—to spark that interest. This moment is a perfect example of that. Blake and Weiss are set up to parallel and contrast one another. One is the rich heiress harming the faunus. The other is the (right now reading as) poor faunus fighting the heiress. They’ve got that Romeo and Juliet potential—two houses not meant to join—and yet we also see, right here, that they’re so much more alike than either will initially believe. They’re separated now, haven’t yet met, are literally on opposite sides of the transport, and yet they both go through the exact same motions of sighing in relief at making it in time, catching sight of themselves in a reflective surface, considering who they are, and then smiling. There’s so much potential there! We in the RWBY fandom know that Bumbleby and White Rose are the two heavy-hitters, but right now Weiss hasn’t met Ruby and Blake hasn’t met Yang. I guarantee that if IQ were its own show and we were waiting a week for the next, totally original episode, fans would be all over Monochrome as the primary ship. It would have sunk its teeth into the community from that alone and even if IQ went the way of RWBY, splitting them up and starting numerous moments of other shipping potential (Weiss slowing coming to care for Ruby, Yang opening up to Blake, etc.) there’s a good chance that Blake/Weiss would have hung on like whoa, just from this moment and a week of theorizing alone. Never doubt the power of fans to imagine up the most epic romances from a single, thematically loaded shot.

We’re given our first glimpses of Jaune (vomiting), Nora (hanging onto Ren), Ren (suffering, but he likes it), and Pyrrha—taking up most of the screen as Salem says that “even the most brilliant lights eventually flicker and die.”

I can’t go through this again 😭

At least that’s a WAY better introduction for Pyrrha than being Jaune’s background, quirky girl...

And, of course, we end on a close-up of Ruby as Ozpin talks about small sparks and simple souls igniting the most change.

(I’m sorry she looks so creepy here hOW IS THAT NOT A MURDER DOLL??)

So, just to summarize, there's really good character work throughout this episode. Not only are the introductions tighter and better interwoven with Remnant's worldbuilding, but IQ does a decent job of setting up future themes, conflicts, and — if the plot circles back to canon — foreshadowed events like Pyrrha’s death. Basically, this is what happens when you take your story through another draft. This is RWBY with an eye towards what did and didn't work the first time around.

Yet for all that praise... I have to admit that a certain spark is missing. Yes, the animation is so much better, but as said, there's something charming about RWBY's janky movements and shadow people. Yes, the characters' introductions fit more neatly into the story-world now, but it was exciting to get individual action trailers, unsure at first how they would develop into a plot-driven narrative. No, there's no reason to waste time on silly things like Jaune being Vomit Boy, but the lack of stupid humor in this premiere makes me feel like a crucial part of RWBY is missing. There's no disappearing cookies, or Ruby being chill about Yang kicking men out of club windows, or karate chops, or (and this is a real travesty imo) a cringey "Can I have your autograph??" towards Glynda. Maybe it's that we're nearly a decade out from the original air date and tastes have changed, or maybe it's just straight up nostalgia on my part, but for however good IQ is so far, it doesn't feel like it has the same heart that RWBY did — and I don't think it's capable of recreating that. RWBY was a specific storm of Monty + 2013 + the appeal of a group of fans doing something fun in their basement over something objectively "good," and who knows what else thrown into the mysterious pot of success. You literally can't recreate that, especially when so much of RWBY's fanbase are adults now, unable to return to their teenage years — or even just the eight years younger version of themselves if they were adults the first time around — and the headspace of when they first fell in love with the story. That doesn't make IQ bad by any means (and it may well get its own fanbase of first-time viewers). I really enjoyed this first episode... but I enjoyed it in the way I enjoy lots of other well-made, but kinda generic anime. Without it already being a RWBY story and without RWBY having caught my imagination back when it did, I don't think I would have gotten hooked on IQ in the same way. The premier is good, arguably far, FAR better than "Ruby Rose" ever was, and yet, whether due to time, nostalgia, or something else entirely, RWBY still feels like it comes out on top. It’s just got... something that IQ lacks.

Not that it's a competition, of course, though certain members of the fandom seem to believe quite strongly that it should be. More because they’d like a built-in reason to drag anyone with a criticism of IQ/RWBY than because they actually believe two versions of a story can’t co-exist.

But I digress.

With that, we've completed "Red, White, Black, Yellow"! At a measly 6,000 words, no less. (I’m apologizing now for the inevitable typos. It’s past 1:00am now and I can’t read through this again...) As is abundantly obvious, these recaps take a long time to write and this sneak peek has, quite unexpectedly, dropped the equivalent of three weeks worth of RWBY content into my lap all at once. Normally I'd have no problem buckling down to write the next episode, but I have a number of fic commitments at the start of July that I can't afford to ignore. So writing time will be going towards those, first and foremost, with me continuing to work on Ice Queendom on the side. I hope to have the next episode recapped in the next few days — at the latest — but that depends entirely on how kind the writing Gods are to me this week.

So stay tuned and, as always, thanks for reading! <3

MurderOfBirds' Twitter Thread: https://twitter.com/MurderofBirds_/status/1540414268457340928

[anachronisticcrab]

Hello! I’m not sure if you are still doing asks and of course if your not it’s completely fine but if you are can you do Demi-God children of Bia? maybe will being a champion of Nyx to please? Again if you don’t it’s absolutely fine I was just wondering and if you can thank you very much I appreciate it greatly

Hi! I’m so sorry about how long this has taken to get back 😭😭 my asks are always open, my mind is always ADHD

Anyways, demigod children of Bia/Vis HC’s (I will say that I don’t know a ton about Bia, cause I’ve gotten to know other gods much better, but I will do my best here)

Most of her children are mute or selectively mute, as she doesn’t speak much in the mythos and is often the silent force behind everything

For those who don’t know, Bia is the goddess of force

This is what tripped me up lol cause force is such a versatile word so I’m gonna put all my thoughts in here

‘Force’ can be like unstoppable force on the battlefield (which is how Bia went along, as in the mythos she was the force aiding the Olympians against the titans)

It could also be the force of love, the most powerful motivator so some of these demigods are extremely close

‘Force’ also always makes me think of the forces of nature, like gravity and mass and all that so I think it’d be really cool if Bia’s children could semi alter the gravity levels around them in order to fly and crush their enemies

Also Royal Bia Kids bringing their subjects and enemies to their knees would be very fun

As well, they’re extremely tight knit with children of Nike, Kratos and Zelus

Often they’ll feel obligated to and protective of Zeus’ children (a child of Bia and a child of Nike actually housed Jason for a long time in New Rome)

They have the capability to change the tide of battle

Extremely persuasive

(Personal hc here) Bianca and Nico are descendants of Bia and Nike, which is why Maria chose their names

Will as a champion of Nyx is god tier omg

Is able to create miniature constellations and nebulae with his light powers thanks to his blessing from the Night

Night and Day simultaneously

Uses his powers with Nicos to create night scenes for younger campers

This is the real source of his glowing powers, and he will glow a billion different colours at once to create the galactic look of the night sky

Part of the reason he’s obsessed with Star Wars ngl (always in the night sky)

When I think of night I think of space so don’t judge how this is mostly on space lol

Genuinely think she should’ve been sweeter in canon so she’s genuinely the sweetest mother ever you can fight me

She gives Will protection in the shadows and cover of night

Helps him fight his way through Tartarus with Nico in the solo book

All I can think of for now, again so sorry for the months long delay 😭😭 I hope you enjoyed tho ❤️ if u wanted me to do smth else/I misunderstood pls let me know too

btw for everyone who sees this— feel free to add anything on

[burnedbyshoto]

mine

— Dabi didn’t want you in the slightest, but he’d be damned if anyone touched you without knowing that you belonged to him

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pairing: yandere!dabi x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, nsfw, gorey (blood and puss), branding, yandere!dabi, semi-public sex, consented sex that turns into nonconish, spitting, heavy degradation, hardcore, sadist!dabi, mindbreak

word count: 5,588

a/n: im so terribly sorry for being so late with kinktober. my keyboard is super fucked up and I had a crazy busy weekend. please do not read this if you are easily offended it got a bit crazy lol ;-; well at least for what i typically write sorry

kinktober day 17 main kink: branding | kinktober masterlist

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Dabi didn’t care about you.

As you lay on the broken, dirty mattress (was this even a mattress?) that belonged to who knows who and was in this alleyway for who knows how long, there was no telling if you wouldn’t contract some form of an STD just by laying here in your filth. You wanted to sit up. You needed to get out of this sketchy alleyway just to continue the day. But your body hurts, everything hurts.

But the tears in your eyes had long dried out. The blood, cum, spit, puss, and drool on the bed making for an unpleasant, pitiful sight beneath and on you.

But I guess there was no reason for anyone to try and take you, even like that.

There was already a warning, a brand for anyone to fucking try and take you from the person who owned you. 

His name pulsed on every throbbing, bubbling white-hot pain on your body. His hands and name forever scarred and branded on your skin.

Dabi Dabi Dabi Dabi

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

But you couldn’t even cry as a black cat with piercing blue eyes landed on the mattress centimeters from your face. It was too much.

And in the middle of the alleyway, your eyes shut, and a painful unconscious slammed through you. Consciousness no longer your friend as you ended there, ass up, gaping, cum splattering hole available for everyone to see.

It didn’t matter, you clearly belonged to Dabi, and anyone who tried to take you would be consumed with a horrid fate.

.

..

.

Dabi’s mouth was pulled back into an angry, unamused snarl.

Typically speaking, the black-haired Frankenstein of a man could look more apathetic than the gods of apathy themselves, but if you bugged him just enough, things could sink under his skin faster than you could run. But today, he seemed to have every annoying thing happen to him event after event so that he was practically simmering with putrid anger.

It had started when you had left his room in the morning louder than he liked. You both had begun a sexual relationship of sorts. As much as the League was intent and focused on driving out the hero society, libidos and sexual needs could hardly be ignored. Especially as Dabi’s own libido grew with the more success he had, the closer he was to achieve his own goal. It made sense that he and you began this relationship. He wasn’t going to touch any of the guys in the group, not to mention the fact they were about as ugly as he was, so that meant he’d have to potentially stare down at a nasty face moaning and screaming. That wasn’t going to happen. Toga was a psycho bitch that Dabi could never understand, and with her stupid stabbing addiction, he wasn’t about to trust her near his genitals. 

You had been a late joiner in the group, some dumb, weak, quirkless little bitch. 

Dabi had no idea why Shigaraki had ever allowed you to join in the first place.

You added absolutely nothing to the group.

Being quirkless meant that you were a liability in any type of fight they got into because you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself. You threw a mean punch, and you had been training with Toga in the weird-ass fighting style of hers, but it was stupid, utterly pointless because as long as Dabi and others possessed the ability to kill you without needing you near, you were a walking target. 

You were also a terrible medic. Whenever the group would return with serious and not so serious injuries, you would scream, panic, and apply bandages terribly. It was so bad that Dabi would rather die of infection than have your blubbering form try to get anywhere near his cuts and burns. 

You were a horrible liar too. Couldn’t send you into any of the Pro Hero bases or UA in an attempt to gather more information to help the group's efforts. Toga had merely transformed into a random citizen without you knowing, and your ability to be suave was a joke.

But one day, Dabi figured out why exactly Shigaraki decided to let you in, why you were someone worth letting live. He had gone to the bar for a simple drink. His head throbbing due to the fight he had gotten into while recruiting for the League. But what he came to see in that bar was that you were in the bar with Shigaraki and Kurogiri.

He looked at you as you were on your knees on the barstool. Your breasts swelling over that stupid tanktop of yours, your dumb ass shaking like a damn dog as you talked excitedly to Shigaraki. That, for whatever reason, bugged Dabi.  The tinge of color on his stupid leader’s ears and cheeks also went noticed by Dabi, and suddenly as you grabbed onto Shigaraki’s shoulders, it all made perfect sense.

You were here to be made as a whore.

Dabi ended up leaving the bar without getting his drink after all that day.

But he had caught you skipping to your assigned room, and he blocked your way, his hand shoved into his pockets as you looked down at your wide eyes.

“So that’s the role you’ll play in the world of no heroes,” Dabi spoke, his lips pulling into a lazy smirk, warmth flooding his cold skin when your own face seemed twisted with confusion and worry.

“I’m not playing any role?” you speak slowly, obviously confused, but Dabi doesn’t dwell on the confusion in your eyes or the way you step backward away from him. He follows you, stalking your every move until you’re backed against the door of his room, your doe eyes large and practically screaming for help, which only seemed to excite Dabi. You wouldn’t be finding a hero in this organization. No, you either learned how to swim, drown, or take everyone down with you. 

“Oh, so you’re not playing any games here?” Dabi asks, his hand slamming against the door right by your head, his head tilting as he leans in close to your face. He can basically breathe the anxiety spilling from your veins, festering, and throbbing underneath your skin as you find yourself unable to speak. “You joined our little group knowing that Shigaraki wanted to fuck you? Use you as the willing whore that you are?”

The fear drained from your eyes, and anger blazed instead, and for some reason, that only made Dabi more excited. He pressed up closer to you, the hardness of his cock, unable to be ignored as he pressed his swelling length to your hip.

“I’m not here to be Shigaraki’s whore,” you growled, your lips pulled back into a fearsome growl, but to Dabi, knowing the stupid, weak quirkless bitch that you were, made you look like some angry dumb puppy. “I’ve been just as wronged by this world as you have. Just because I didn’t burn off all my skin to prove I don’t fit in doesn’t mean I don’t have scars too.”

Dabi laughed, the smell of heat rising from his skin as he couldn’t help but display his power, couldn’t help but to warn you just who was capable of the most immense damage.

“Burn me,” you snapped, your nose nearly brushing against his. “Prove my fucking point.”

Dabi let out a throaty hum, the feeling of your stomach shifting against his tented pants, only serving to arouse him more. 

“Trust me, pup, I don’t have all my skin burned off,” Dabi couldn’t help but ignore your own issues of being upset as his mouth crashed against yours.

That night, Dabi realized that maybe you did serve this group in two ways, albeit one was much, much more important than the other. 

One, the lesser important reason: you brought in a new demographic. A new viewpoint of people who had been hurt by heroes and civilians who looked to All Might like a god. Quirkless people, and people with quirks that practically made them worthless, were seen as inferior because they weren’t unique. They could never be like All Might. And for that, they were seen as less, a group that deserved to die and were discriminated against for reasons far beyond their control.

Two, the more important reason: you were Dabi’s fuckhole.

This sexually frustrated, anger-fueled sex the two of you had was more than ideal, really. Dabi loved to fuck you whenever he needed, whenever he wanted. He took you anywhere and everywhere he wanted. Each time he grew bolder and bolder until he was fucking you during a meeting, fucking you while you were in a car with everyone, making your way to the next destination. 

He could care less about your whining pleas to only fuck in a room where no one could see, couldn’t care if you thought the alleyway was dirty, and the scent of dead burning bodies made your head spin. You were a quirkless fuckhole, and you would do as he told.

But Dabi would never admit you were his.

No, he would not.

Not now, not ever.

But there was something stupidly irritating and annoying hearing barely useful members of the now Paranormal Liberation Front. Everyone was obsessed with you, the useless quirkless girl who was weak and needed protection. Everyone loved the way your tits bounced when you hopped around excitedly, loved the way your ass shook when you were sitting at a bar because, for whatever damn reason, you could never sit on your fucking ass.

So, that’s where we find Dabi. His mouth pulled back into an unamused, angry snarl as you talked with some nameless member that Dabi thought was better off dead than as some deadweight help. 

“You can’t expect y/l/n-chan to be so kind to you when you’re quite the asshole to her, Dabi,” Compress chided Dabi as he took a smooth, slow drink from his sake. “You pester her daily, and from what the rumors tell me, harass her often enough that I’m surprised she hasn’t taken your face off.”

“She’s too fucking weak for that shit,” Dabi snapped, his eyes narrowing when your hand placed itself on the nameless shits arm. “She can’t do shit; that’s why she’s acting like a shallow whore. She’ll let anyone fuck her as long as it means she gets protected.”

Compress raised his eyebrow, his face not letting anything on as he slowly placed his glass down.

“Y/l/n-chan sleeps around?”

Dabi actually felt the heat rising from his skin. He didn’t know if you were, and the thought of knowing that someone other than him was fucking your tight little pussy after he did irritates him much more than he’d like. 

“I don’t fucking know, you’re the one telling me about fucking rumors. You tell me.”

“From what I hear, she doesn’t give in to anyone, despite the obvious flirting,” Compress shrugged when Dabi’s eyes locked on him in bewildered disbelief. “Why do you care, Dabi? You’re typically so aloof and annoyingly stoic. What about y/l/n-chan makes you so temperamental?”

Dabi felt his spine stiffen at those words, the inquisitive yet entirely sharp words that gutted him from the inside out. Dabi didn’t care for you. He knew he didn’t. If you dropped dead in the middle of the floor in three seconds, he knew he wouldn’t panic. He wouldn’t mourn you. He might mourn the warm body he fucked whenever he needed, sure, but not you, never just you. 

He blinked.

He didn’t need to like you for you to be his.

Heroes were what was wrong with society, but relationships were also what was wrong with people. The twisting desire for equality and equity between two different people when it should never be as such, to begin with. Dabi was powerful. You were quirkless and weak. Dabi held power, he was the one who should be deciding what you should be able to do, what you can’t, and something in the depths of his mind finally clicked. 

You were his.

You belonged to Dabi.

You were nothing without Dabi.

The laugh that poured from your lips and the man next to you, that Dabi swore he could hear right now, suddenly made sense as to why it bothered him. You don’t entertain or try to use things that don’t belong to you. You use only what is yours, and anyone who tries to touch what belongs to you is allowed capital punishment.

But Dabi, against better judgment, wasn’t a trigger happy idiot.

No, he was aware of the things idiots needed to see in order to back off. To understand that some things were there for free, and other things were already taken. He laughed, grabbing the rest of Compress’s sake and downing it before slamming it onto the table and standing up, ignoring the angered curses from Compress as he stalked toward you.

There weren’t many things in life that made Dabi lose control of his emotions, but knowing that you were out in the open without a clear mark that you were his was slowly making its way on that list. 

“Let’s go,” Dabi says, his voice perfectly calm despite the heat blazing off his every muscle. His hand was wrapped around your wrist, gripping your skin tightly as he tugged you from the barstool.

It didn’t take much for you to fall off the stool, your stupid way of sitting on bar stools allowed significant imbalance, and Dabi knew that a sharp tug is all it took to have you stumbling off.

“I was talking with Trumpet!” you cried, unable to keep from stumbling after Dabi, your eyes focused on Trumpet.

“I was speaking with y/n, if you would allow us to finish our—” Trumpet also piped up, his hands reaching to button up his suit as he stood.

“Shut up,” Dabi spoke coldly, his eyes narrowing just slightly as he took in his gaze. 

With that, Dabi continued to walk away, dragging your protesting form behind him with every great stride he took. Dabi didn’t know where he was walking, only knowing that he was ignoring every question and angry demand that filtered out of your mouth like white noise. He took sharp turns, disappearing into the alleys that he knew all too well until he found the spot he was looking for.

You were panting heavily when you suddenly slammed into Dabi’s back, exhaustion already setting in your bones from the awkward run you had to maintain in order to keep up with Dabi. You weren’t an idiot; you knew that Dabi wanted to fuck the moment that he appeared behind you with a wave of hot air. But you hadn’t expected it to be while you were in the middle of a conversation with Trumpet; while he was an asshole, Dabi always let you finish your conversations before taking you to fuck. But not this time.

Which worried you. 

Both of you had fucked the entire night last night. Your body had been abused in a million exciting ways as Dabi unleashed his libido onto you, and you had kept up swimmingly. Typically, a fuckfest like that was enough to satisfy him for a few days, two days at least, so to have him back on you within twelve hours was a bit of a shock. 

The sun was still in the sky, after all.

“You really know how to piss me the fuck off, y/n,” Dabi spoke, his tone and words ice-cold despite the blazing heat of his body. “Why is it that you think you have the right to flounder yourself off like some common bitch?”

You freeze. Oh? Was he jealous?

You had no time to even open your mouth to ask, most likely having taken too long to answer his question because his hand flared with heat, and you couldn’t help the scream that ripped through your throat. Tearing your hand from Dabi, you looked down at your burnt, throbbing skin. Your eyes widened, pained tears in your eyes as Dabi turned around, his eyes blank, cold, lifeless. 

“I’m not sure if I ever made this clear before,” Dabi asked, stalking toward you, and you whimper, holding your tender wrist to your chest as you feel something make contact with the back of your calves. “I don’t care about you. If you were to disappear the next day and never return, I wouldn’t care. Maybe I’d miss your pretty little pussy, but other than that… nothing. But you need to understand something for as long as we’re together and for how long we’re apart: you’re mine, y/n, just mine.”

Your eyes are wide, terrified of the monster before you. This wasn’t the Dabi that fucked you every night before this, this was someone else, and sour acid hits the back of your throat. 

His lips are on you without hesitation. The biting coldness of his staples on his cheeks and chin burn against your skin, and his hot hands are against the cold skin of your waist, and you gasp loudly. His tongue invades your mouth immediately, and you whimper, feeling how much colder his tongue was in comparison to yours. But you know what it’s like to share a bed with Dabi, you know that he knows of your bodies every twitch and innate desires, and like a trained dog, you cave to him despite the painful tears dripping down your cheeks.

His kisses are much like his fire, hot, encompassing, all-consuming until there was nothing left except the smell and taste of ashes and smoke. You fell to his needs immediately, the hot, swollen throb in your wrist going ignored as you kissed him back, wanting to taste the smoke on his tongue. So as the heat of his body evaporated the tears off your cheeks, you caved into his kisses. 

Your wrist throbbed as your hands reached up and curled into his hair. 

But the biting possessiveness of his body was all too apparent to you as his teeth buried into your tongue and sucked on it harshly. You gasped, your body arching into his touch as you opened your closed eyes to peer into his piercing lifeless eyes. 

You moaned, body trembling with the wild desire to make him feel good, to make yourself feel good. But you fell, his teeth letting go of your tongue and his calloused, burnt hands pushing you onto the object beneath you. The mildewy mold scent of the mattress beneath you burned into your nose, somehow damp even though there had been no rain for weeks.

Dabi was on you immediately, his body between your legs, lips simmering against your mouth once more, and his hand on your throat. His staples scraped against your chin, the cold metal scratching into your skin until it hurt. You can’t recall the last time he put this horrible power on his grips, you felt your head beginning to spin with the slow, dizzying throb of losing all oxygen, but Dabi took no mind to your struggles; in fact, it seemed to be enjoying it.

“Come on, doll, kiss me back like you actually fucking mean it,” Dabi snapped, his hands burning even more against your throat, and the other made contact with your pants. Your clothes were burnt to singe, the smell of burning fabric had long been a scent you had been familiar with, but you couldn’t even gather the energy to cry about the clothes he just burnt off your body. “Stop acting like a little bitch,” he growls, obviously noticing your shift in character, “be a good doll, and do as you’re told.”

Despite the burning, stabbing feeling in your skin, and the way you couldn’t keep the silent tears from stopping you from doing as you were told. You kiss him back as you once had before, your jaw dropping and your tongue reaching to meet his. 

Dabi growled, clearly liking the suddenly positive response from you, and you trembled against his hold. But, soon, a new scent filled your nose, a unique scent that aligned with the painful burning of flesh.

“You see, I don’t like it when things that belong to me don’t do what I want. I especially hate having to share things that are mine. Don’t get cocky, sweet thing, you’re my precious doll, but I don’t give a single shit about you,” Dabi spat against your lips, his mouth speaking against yours, and his eyes staring straight into your eyes. 

Or they would have been should you not have been in such trifling, nauseating pain as Dabi’s hand burned against your skin. His quirk sizzled against your skin, creating a perfect brand of his hand on your throat, but the pain was immeasurable, horrifically painful as you wailed against his mouth.

“Let me go, let me go, let me go!” you screamed, your hands fisting and pathetically slamming against Dabi’s shoulders, pleading to be shown mercy.

But Dabi merely looked down at you with sadistic disinterest, relishing in the way the smell of your burning skin wafted into his nose until he let go. 

You tried to scream, tried to cry to whatever god may be looking down at you to come and save you, but you found you couldn’t. The burnt, pussing bubbles of infected flesh bubbling on your throat were tight on your sweat-slicked skin, and every small movement made it feel worse.

“There we go!” Dabi grins again, his eyes wild and almost demented as he flips you over so that your naked ass is hanging out in the air, able to be manipulated to his will. The tears in your eyes were still streaming down your face, intermixing with the blood and popped blisters on your skin as Dabi pressed you into a position that would make things easier for him to fuck you in. “I can’t fuck you when your cunt is buried in this box.”

You make a noise, a small noise that sends a powerful wave of nausea through you as Dabi separates your legs and curls his fingers within your slick cunt. 

“Glad to see that your little pussy is still wet as fuck,” Dabi groans, his fingers scissoring deep within you, stretching out your hole until you pathetically cries into the mildew scented mattress. Your body pulsated with a different stimulus; the pain in your throat still burned and was feeling itchy. The thud in your wrist hurt to move. But the pleasure of his fingers buried deep in your cunt made your eyes cross and your mouth pant in the overcoming sensation of your pussy being tended to.

“D-Dabi,” you manage to croak out, the tears running down your cheeks, once more intermixing with the thick blood and puss on the burn. Your voice was disgustingly hoarse, sounding akin to someone with smoker's lungs. “P-Please.”

“P-Please what?” Dabi mocked, his hips grinding against your exposed, pert ass. You could feel the hard cock in his pants, the shift in the fabric as he dropped his own pants and underwear to rut his piercing covered cock through your asscheeks. “Don’t think about me fucking your ass, you dirty fucking bitch, I’m not gonna do that weird shit.”

“N-No!” you whimper, your unburnt hand reaching behind you to grab onto the fabric of his coat that he refused to remove. Somehow, the movement made the throbbing flesh on your throat hurt more, and you swallowed the rising bile in your throat, gagging. “D-Dabi, f-fuck!”

“You want something better than my fingers?” he continued to question, uncaring that he knew exactly what you meant by those words. He was too focused on the way your walls were much tighter around his fingers right now, a vice trap that made him both eager and unwilling to shove his cock deep within your womb just yet. 

You mewl in frustration, your hips shifting against his intruding fingers, desperate to get the coldness of his pierced cock within you already. The pain was still very much alive, but the pleasurable build in your core was quickly outweighing your mood. 

“Oh, I get it,” Dabi sighs, his fingers exiting your throbbing, soaked cunt, both his hands slamming onto your ass, gripping the flesh with all the strength he had. “You want another fucking brand. You want the world to know who you fucking belong to, who fucking owns you until the day you die.”

The words send a panicked throb in your stomach, but before you could protest, before you could make note that this was not something you wanted, his fingers grew hot. Hotter and hotter, they grew until the blue of his flame felt like scorching white heat under your skin. Impossibly unbearable pain and branding scarred into your skin as you’re able to ignore the resulting pain in your throat to scream so loudly, your voice bounces off the alley walls multiple times. 

You can’t see what he did, but you can tell that his handprints are scarred to your ass; you can feel the puss-filled blisters rising from the skin as Dabi continues to massage the skin as if it was a bruise and not some second-degree burn. You sobbed into the mattress, your face buried into the ugly fabric, snot, and tears pooling onto the surface until you were choking on your spit and rising bile. 

Before you could even adjust to the pain, your mind pounding and reeling with the stinging, melting sensation on your ass, something thick, cold, and pierced rams into your throbbing cunt. Your body lurches forward with the initial thrust, your body, despite the pain, jumping from the shock of Dabi’s cock entering you.

It’s a familiar feeling, a feeling you loved, but you can’t focus on the sense of the many balled piercing gliding against your ruffled walls. The extra stimulus pointedly ignored because the pain in your ass was currently outweighing the pleasure he was giving you. But Dabi doesn't care. Why would he care? You’re his doll, and right now, he’s in heaven. Your cunt was blistering hot against his cock and oh so fucking tight. Dabi knew why he was so obsessed with you, and it started with that tight pussy of yours that could milk him dry without even trying. 

Dabi smiled, his hands raising off the branded handprints on your ass that were caked with already horribly forming scabs, blisters, pus, and blood. He felt giddy seeing your ass, covered with trembles and sweat, covered with his handprint. There was no denying you were his, no denying that you were here to serve the League as nothing except his fuck doll. No one would want you now that you had three of his handprints branded on you, and not even he could love someone with as ugly scars on your body.

So, with the stammering, choking cries that poured from your mouth for Dabi to stop because his rutting hips slamming against your newly branded ass was too much, Dabi let his head drop back, flooded with the sense of elation and euphoria. 

You were his.

Finally his.

Only his.

“It hurts!” you screamed, your hips shifting in your feeble attempt to escape his barbaric hold. “It hurts, Dabi!”

“If it hurts so much, why the fuck is your cunt so wet?” Dabi mocked, his hips slamming into you with deeper, faster strokes. “Why the fuck are you moving your hips like a desperate whore if it hurts?”

You howl in your pain crossed pleasure, the tears soaking your face, and the mattress seemingly flowing from you without end in sight. Much like the squelching slick in your cunt that grows louder and louder and the Jacob's ladder on his cock pressed further and further into your warm velvet walls. 

“Because it hurts!” you screech, your fingers tearing into the mattress, your body spasming from the overload of sensation. Your mind slips through the cracks of consciousness, and the pain begins to override your mind.

“Oi, oi, oi!” Dabi yells, his hand coming down to slap the blistering brand on your ass, completely waking you back up. “Don’t you dare knock out on me, doll. I might call you a doll, but I don’t want you to be some fucking dumbass ragdoll when you’re on my cock!”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your eyes crossing and your vision spinning with the onslaught of sharp, stinging pain. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Mm,” Dabi hums, clearly pleased with your apology. “Seems like after so long, you’ve finally accepted your useless, pathetic, quirkless ass can’t do shit.”

So, his hands shift from your ass and move onto your hips, enjoying the way your skin is so soft, so easily bruisable beneath his hold. Your body seems to block out the pain he brings to your body and only accept the lulling pleasure of it all. The noises of his drilling cock into your sobbing cunt is loud, the sopping noises loud and soft in both your ears. Dabi has half a mind to wonder if anyone would walk by the alleyway, hear your desperate, pathetic noises and call the cops. 

He smiles lazily as his cock brushes against the wall of your cervix. Would he kill you in front of them all and then them? Maybe he would make you beg for his cock more in front of the officers and kill them all should they be aroused. He laughed as his cock slammed into your cervix, the squealing pleasure ripping from your throat at the feeling, and Dabi felt light.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

How pathetic would that be?! Heroes getting aroused as he fucked such a poor girl in front of them! Of course, they’d have to be killed because that would be immoral of them, and not to mention that once anyone got a lustful eye on, you deserved to die.

You were his.

Only his. 

“Who does this pussy belong to?!” Dabi snaps, his hand grabbing your hair by the roots. “Who?”

“Dabi!” you laugh giddily, your face still streaming with tears, your lips bloody and bitten raw. “Dabi! Dabi! Dabi!”

Dabi growls in his satisfying pleasure, his hand throwing your head back onto the mattress, and his hands press onto your shoulders as he begins to thrust faster, harder, more power into your clenching tight cunt. His fingers tear into your skin, breaking the skin and watching the ruby red liquid ooze from your skin. 

That causes you to scream, your face twisted in slight pain, but Dabi presses onward. 

He has one last thing to do.

“Such a good fuck doll, don’t you think you deserve to be rewarded for being such a good fuck? For having such a sweet, tight pussy?” Dabi asks, his teeth biting against the nape of your neck as he continued to fuck you until fluids were beginning to seep from your cunt. “I’m going to make sure that everyone in the fucking world knows you belong to me, that you are my precious fucking doll and no one else's, okay?”

You keen loudly, your body shivering underneath his, and your head nodding, your tongue unable to produce any more words.

Dabi raised his finger, the tip blazing with a small, concentrated blue flame, and he makes contact with the skin on your back.

Dabi Dabi Dabi Dabi

His name is written repetitively on your back. The layers of skin on your back wholly burned off so that the twitching pink of your skin muscles are shown. No blood comes from there.

Dabi laughs, delighted with how fucking perfect you look with his name on your back, and you seemed to have flipped out of your broken mindset and shoved back into the horrors of the pain your body was experiencing. You gagged loudly, screaming and twitching with immense pain, but Dabi continues.

“You don’t mean shit to me, though, doll; I hope you know that!” Dabi snickers, his cock throbbing when he felt the familiar milking sensation of your cunt as you finally came around him. He continued to ram his cock into you, savagely uncaring of how you begged from him to stop, pathetically asked for him to heed. “You’re nothing more than my cumslut, nothing more than some stupid sex doll for me to use. And now you’re completely ruined! No one will want you with my brand all over you! No one will, and I sure as hell don’t want you forever!”

Your body stills under him, not quite limp as though you might pass out, but cold, frozen.

Dabi doesn’t care; he never has as he countries to hammer his cock within you, his tongue sweeping over his front teeth before spitting onto his branded name on your skin. You flinch greatly at the burning sensation, your eyes trying not to close with unconsciousness as ropes of his cum and seed spill into your cunt.

You lay there, unable to move, as Dabi stands up, quickly dressing and leaving you with a mere chuckle.

You were ruined forever, you suddenly realized as we make our way back to the beginning scene.

Cold, used, quirkless.

You had no purpose in life except to be Dabi’s whore, and even he didn’t want you.

The darkness consumed you in the worst of ways right then.

[renaxwrites]

Tsukki is my mans but since you're writing the amazing series known as Eleven, I shall refrain for asking for him, but may I ask for some cute relationship/how they are as a boyfriend headcanons for Akaashi, Semi and Bakugou? (idk if you're okay with mixing the bnha and haikyuu characters but I love them and I'd love to see your writing for them uwu)

Boyfriend Material - (Akaashi, Semi, Bakugou)

a/n : I’m such a hoe™ for akaashi lmaoo but don’t tell him that ;) Rq I’m sorry if Semi is short, I don’t know too much about him! Also heck YES I love love love bnha, Baku is one of my favs 💕 part 2 part 3

akaashi

Oh boyyyy get ready to be loved!!

Not big on pda, but instead professes his love through gestures

Little love notes, slipping snacks in your bag cause you were running late, bringing an extra jacket since he already knows you’ll ask for his

Loves affection. KING of kisses. Allows you vip access to play with his silky hair

A whole GENTLEMAN! I’m talking opening doors for you, pushing in/out your chair, making sure you get inside your house before he leaves

You: “I am more than capable of opening my own door, keiji.”

Akaashi: “You better. Not ever. Touch a door handle. In front of me. Or else.”

Mans smells gooodd. Results in you stealing his clothes just so you can smell him

Kinda needs his clothes tho, so he buys you a bottle of his cologne. He DOES give you a couple shirts/hoodies tho. What kind of bf would he be if he didn’t?

The two of you are usually joined at the hip. Not that y’all are clingy, it’s just you both function better around each other and genuinely enjoy each other’s company, so y’all are always vibing together

Cue third wheel bokuto

He’s a pretty blunt fella, so he will tend to compliment you a lot. He knows you look good, so he doesn’t see a point in not mentioning it

Dates with akaashi are always interesting. Feel like staying in? Movie night and takeout. Fair nearby? He’s stealing you and taking you on the first day it arrives. Test coming up? Lucky for you, he’s huge on studying. He’ll prep you like his life depends on it. Food cravings? Hop in his car, he’ll find somewhere really good to satisfy your hunger. (remember: no door handle touching!!)

Overall, y’all are married at this point. At least Bokuto says so. Akaashi def doesn’t argue w that

semi

Homie lowkey a sucker for touchies

Just not in front of the team. Even giving him a hug makes him go red and lose all brain cells. Which his teammates will def remind him about lol

Other than that, he absolutely loves affection

Spontaneous kisses? Lives for them

Holding on his hand when you’re nervous or just want comfort? He’ll caress his thumb over your hand to let you know he’s there for you

Your hugs and comfort are the first thing he seeks after something goes amiss in his life. Something about your presence is something he needs, like air or water

He will never take your motivation for granted, whether it’s a wish of good luck before a match or screaming he’s your #1, even if they lost

You’re his rock, and he is yours.

bakugo

Real tea, this man is really just a big baby and needs attention all the time, even when he doesn’t act like it

You seriously mean a lot to him if you scored him

You are the only one to calm his crazy self down (izuku owes you so many favors for saving his life)

Has a front in public, but the second that door is closed, he’s putty in your hands

Is pretty much touch deprived, therefore LOVES to touch you

Obsessed w playing with your hair, loves to smell your shampoo

Post-workout cuddles are def a thing

You: “Katsuki, we should get going, we can cuddle again laterrr”

Bakugo: “5 more minutes babe. I’m recharging, almost done”

He may be tough but he’s still not used to feeling all fuzzy at any type of kiss

Quick pecks, long affectionate kisses, intense makeouts, all make him weakkk

To other’s eyes it may be a simple relationship, but you two both know it’s much deeper than that

He would put his life on the line for you, and that’s saying a lot

He trusts you with everything he has, and vice versa

Overall, wholesome relationship with this tantrum baby

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

just sending some appreciation and good vibes to my people for the new year <3

kisses from me bc you all hold a very special place in my heart 💝

Also veryyy long post ahead I’m sorry I had to include everyone Aakklaksks 😭😭

@ominous-meme 🖤 sabah! You were my very first mutual on here I hope you know that! I can’t even begin on how excited I got when I found out you were a fellow desi girl and I will always appreciate you being there and advising me! <3 I love our street racing au! talks ! I’m glad I have someone to share ideas with <33

@weebsausage 🖤 dude omg!!! 😭😭😭 pls I literally forgot how we became moots I’m so sorry I have a tiny brain 😪 but I think we literally just messaged each other and started talking about free! ANYWAYS TYSM FOR PUTTING ME ON HXH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THAT WTF ITS LIKE MY FAV ANIME EVER I HAVE BECOME HXH TRASH AJSJSJBS ❤️❤️ but other than that thank you for being a really great friend to me and I hope this year is nothing but good things for you <33

@dokifluffs 🖤 you were also one of my first moots on here! I honestly could not believe when you followed me back bc ur like my biggest inspo! 😭 you’re so precious omg I always look forward talking to you and get excited when I see a notif from you still! I hope the new year treats you well and brings good things in your life! Lots of love from me bae 🥰❤️

@syrenblubs 🖤 ah my most relatable person LOL. Omg syren ur my little bestie on here and I’m so glad we’re mutuals! I love our natsuya talks and OML THE C****** RAID! ALSJJSJSJSJJS AND DESI PARENTS AKSJJSNS. Just thank you for always interacting with me even tho I SUCK at responding 😭❤️❤️❤️ ilyyysmmmmmm

@linak 🖤 baby omg where do I even begin. Back when I had literally no one to talk to on here, you would be the one NEVER failing to send me a gm/gn message! You always bring a stupid smile to my face 😭 I’m so freaking glad that we are friends I literally cannot put into words!! Ty for always listening to me and letting me open up to you ❤️ love you always.

@croctears 🖤 vixxx ahhh!!! I’m so glad we became mutuals on this shitty app! You’re one of the highlights of my day and I love talking to you sm 😫 especially if it’s about Sou 😏😏 keep being amazing bae! Kisses mwuah mwuah 😽😽

@xakusa 🖤 Marty bby! 🥰 literally the only person I’m going to share my man natsu with 🙄 our conversations are always so RANDOM and out of nowhereeeee lollll but we also just go along with it and I love that! You are an angel and this year better be giving you what you deserve! Lots of love from my end 😽😽😽 kissies from me and natsuya <3

@cafelixie 🖤 I will keep saying this and I will never stop. YOU!!! ARE!!! THE!!! ACTUAL!!! DEFINITION!!! OF!!! PRECIOUS!!!! Need I say more? You’ve made my day countless times and I always look forward to seeing you in my messages/inbox!! Baby I freaking love you I really don’t know what else to say 😭❤️

@skippyskeppy 🖤 I will never forget the first time we interacted my Kisumi enthusiast 😙🤝 I love it sm whenever I see you pop into my inbox with a random hc about semi semi or Kisumi, Albert now too! You are an amazing person. A really amazing person. I hope you know that ❤️

@keeijiakaashi 🖤 I remember seeing your little comments under my posts before we became moots and OMGGGG YOU ARE SO CUTE AISJJSJSJS ALSO RIN ENTHUSIAST??? YES PLEASE!!! Tysm for always interacting with me and making yourself known as the ultimate sweetest person on my blog! Ilyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️

@animatedarchives 🖤 we have your fellow love of the kirishimas to thank for us becoming moots! You’re so cute soph omg 😫 I love how we literally have brainrots of the same characters LIKE MR GOJO LEECH SATORU!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD OR PAY RENT!!! Ahh you’re irreplaceable soph! Never fail to make me smile like an idiot <33

@natsuya-enthusiast 🖤 how did we not become moots sooner wtf??? Do yk how alone I felt when I had no one to discuss my obsession of natsu with when I first made this blog 😪 AND THEN I REALIZED U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST FOLLOWERS???? ANYWAYS U ARE THE BIG SIS I NEVER HAD ALWAYS PULLING THROUGH W THAT LIFE ADVICE BAHAHAHA ilysm gaby wtf 😭😡😡😡❤️❤️❤️

@moonlitspring 🖤 do you even realize how happy I got when I realized there was another ACTIVE free! blog 😡😡 ajsjjsjs you are such an amazing writer and PERSON sky!!! You’ve been nothing but the sweetest and I hope we get to interact more this year and share our love of free! together <3

@ayumiko 🖤 laís you are such an angel! I absolutely adore both you and your edits/gifs smmm 🥰 you are so kind and I hope 2021 is also <333

@dalggina 🖤 omg??? YGO bae??? 😤😤 I thought literally everyone had forgotten ab it LOL THEN YOU CAME ALONG ❤️❤️ I’m really glad we interacted precious person! And I hope that you have a great year! ALSO YOU BETTER NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH FROM WORK OR IM MANIFESTING MR ATEM TO COME GET YOU 😡

@stormikujo 🖤 omg bby! We haven’t talked in awhile! I hope you are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️ ahhh I’m glad I got you into free otherwise we wouldn’t even have interacted 😫 I love talking to you stormi!! And I hope this year brings great things fro you! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

@aj-writes-here 🖤 omg hey girl 😼😼 you’re definitely one of the coolest people I’ve talked to on here for sure! Hope you’ve been enjoying hq and free! Your welcome for putting you on that simp train 😼 anyways, ilysm aj!! I really wish the best for you this year! Stay amazing as you always are, ily!! ❤️❤️

@attackonfics 🖤 wtf 😭😭 I don’t deserve you???? You’ve been nothing but the sweetest to me and also responsible for my unhealthy obsession with mr 5’2 angry gremlin >:(( jkjk but seriously, ty for the food 😌. ANYWAYS QUEEN I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND TREATING YOURSELF AS!!! YOU!!! SHOULD!!! VIRTUAL HUGS 😽😽 💝

@browsing-my-favourite-fandoms 🖤 Shizen! You are too good for this world! 😭 you are such a genuine person, you deserve nothing but happiness ❤️ I really hope that this year does that for you. I’ll keep checking in from time to time! Ilysm! ❤️

@inum4ki 🖤 sera...please...just invest in a personal guide or smth. Asksksknsjs n e wayzzz seeing you in my inbox is always so much fun! Sousuke really deserves more love and you are bringing it to the table hun 😤😤 also you’re a fellow inumaki enthusiast too??? Yes please. You deserve all the happy things in 2021 <3

@sneezefiction 🖤 Gracie!! I love how easy it is to get along with you! You are truly one of the best people I’ve met on this app and I’ll forever be grateful for our friendship <3 you give off such great vibes all the time omg giving you a huge virtual hug and here’s to more interactions this year! 🥰😽😽😽

@velvetfireworks 🖤 bbyyy!! 🥰 everytime we interact even if it’s not a whole lot, you’re always the sweetest what 😭 I love you and you’re writing so much omggg you are so talented!! I get super excited when I see myself get tagged in one of your stuff 😆 I hope we get to interact more in the future! Have a great New Years ❤️❤️❤️

@a8mine 🖤 stop being so mean to me 😡😡 !!!!!! ig ily anyways tho 🙄 you’re energy is honestly unmatched (in a good way!!) and it’s rare to meet people like that! You’re so funny omg and your random hcs and cursed discourses always have me dying 😭😭 you’re so cool hanna ily 😪✌️ <333

@giorvanna 🖤 ahh rena! Your blog and edits are *chefs kiss* I love our random semi brainrot sessions 🥰🥰 I hope we interact more in the future but in the meantime I’m sending you good vibes and lots of virtual hugs bc you deserve them queen ❤️❤️❤️

@seijohlogy 🖤 hey hey jaestar 🤩🤩 you are such a cool person??? Omg I’m so glad that we’re friends and randomly invade each other’s inboxes 😆 you are so kind! This year better be kind to you too or else 😡😡 I hope that after Ms rona decides to move her ass over, you get to go to Disneyland and take!! Me!!! With!! You!! Love you jae bae ❤️❤️

@prettysetterbaby 🖤 hey sexc 🤩🤩 no idea why you followed me but glad you did bc you are such a sweet and chaotic person!! I loveeeeee <333 I hope we get to interact more bc you are just genuinely such a fun person to interact with! Ilyyy

@datecho 🖤 yet another just genuinely sweet person! The world doesn’t deserve you! You’re so fun to interact with and a hottie??? omg shoto and kags better get off their asses rn and come get you or I will 🤩🤩 ly bae! have a great New Years! ❤️❤️

@miyasangel 🖤 we haven’t interacted much yet but ahaha talking about suna and sending my fanart to you is sm fun! Did I tell you that I also have a wip of Atsumu as a street racer? 😏 have a great year Arden bae! Kisses 😽

@aikk00 🖤 hi hi! We don’t interact on a daily or anything but when we do, omg!!! You are the most easy person to get along with 😭 you have such a good heart along with the talent???omg??? You are UNMATCHED babe! I hope this year brings you many more opportunities! Stay amazing love ❤️ ily and your art very much ❤️ I’m also still very embarrassed from fucking up the credits from last time. I’m so sorry bae 😭❤️❤️

@kurooskult 🖤 ma’am you might as well be the definition of bad bitch 😪🤝 ok but besides that, interacting with you is sm fun??? Like we don’t even have to be moots on your blog to feel just as included and loved! You are such a queen for that! Here’s to more mila x kuroo content in 2021 and he better be doing special for you as he should !!

It’s still the 31st here but THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY COUPLE OF MONTHS ON HERE BEARABLE!!! This sounds like a goodbye post Oml-

I love you all very much. I suck at words, but I hope you know that. ❤️

[dizzydancingdreamer]

My Just Dance Playlist and who I would battle against / team up with in order to remain the champ

Hey lovelies so I— like usual— am procrastinating so I have decided— at the behest of literally no one— to extensively go through my workout Just Dance Playlist and explain in depth who I would 1 v 1 against, why I would pick them, and why I would— most likely— win.

PSA: This will be very biased and will literally be me bragging about how I would win at Just Dance every time with very little factual proof (because, really, how am I getting this proof?) and then literally me being self absorbed for the entirety of this essay length post— a girl’s gotta’ self care you know?

This is also lowkey practice for a fic I’ll be putting out at the start of Dinner at Dizzy’s so stay tuned it’ll be a fun one

Sorry in advance for the 2.4k essay of me being self obsessed

Also the links are just vids of the choreo in case you’re invested

Into The Unknown | Idina Menzel

This is a warm up song— like if I don’t do this one to stretch I’ll literally die— but definitely Wanda because we’re both soft (don’t fight me on this— I just know she’s a soft girl and would LOVE Just Dance). I don’t think I would aim to win on this one— I like her too much and, again, this is a warm up. She would definitely sing along with me too. If Sam was in a good mood he would also join in on this one— he has two nephews and is fun as fuck so I do not doubt he knows all the words and would be all in. Honestly this song is a warm up so anyone could join and I wouldn’t aim to win— unless it was Tony— because the man’s ego is perhaps the only one bigger than mine— or Steve— because I don’t know why I just think it would be cute to watch the man fumble because he 100% can’t dance beyond the slow dances.

Let It Go | Idina Menzel

Okay so another warm up (yes, I need two warm ups) so again the same principles apply. Again Wanda would be all over this one and I would go as far as to say Pietro— fuck off he is an Avenger and in my head he’s still very much alive— would join in too because he’s like a puppy. I would make Bucky do it too— cue the pout because he would try to say no and nope, no sir, you’re playing— because, uh hello, super soldier dancing to Disney songs. I think I would pull Nat in too because she needs a little push and once she’s in she’d be fully in— and, duh, I want a sexy woman assassin to dance with me.

Bad Romance | Lady Gaga

This isn’t my favorite song but— lucky for me— it’s a group song with three dancers so it won’t make me look bad right away. I would pull my sexy girl gang and get Nat and Wanda in on the action. I feel like Nat would be in the front— because, again, hello sexy— and not to mention that I feel like her skills would make her able to easily adapt to the moves— and then Wanda and I would just be chilling in the back, giggling and being cute. This is Nat’s moment— can you tell I only get competitive against the men? Fuck trying to beat Nat, I’m using this time to absorb the sexiness— I will be needing it for later on in this playlist.

Hot N Cold | Katy Perry

OKAY THIS IS ARGUABLY MY FAVOURITE SONG ON MY PLAYLIST! This is 100% my best song. Like “perfects” across the board every single time. I have it memorized and if this song ever comes on in public I’ll be fucked because I’ll have to dance to it and look dumb. Anyway— given that this is my best song— Sam. I can afford to throw him in here because— despite the fact that I know this man has literally all the moves— I have this song ingrained in the essence of my soul. It would probably be a semi-close race but I have the added bonus of knowing the tricks of the choreography. He may be skilled but I am obsessive and have poured hours into this song. I would probably laugh when he loses because of the adrenaline (again, it was close, my heart would be pounding). This is dirty and strategic but this is about me winning and nothing else. Better luck next time babes— rematch anytime.

Girlfriend | Avril Lavigne

MY THIRD FAVOURITE SONG— JUST LIKE BEFORE THIS IS IN MY SOUL! I have actually spent a lot of time thinking about this. I could use this song to knock out a more skilled dancer— Tony, Sam (again), Pietro (you know I’m right)— but I have made the executive decision to pull Steve in on this one. Clearly it has nothing to do with skillful planning on this one— I would 110% win this game— but rather it has everything to do with the fact that I want to look this man in the eye and mouth “Hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking princess” and watch him get flustered and maybe tell me not to swear. Clint would laugh and that’s more than enough motivation for me. I also want to giggle and stare at the super soldier the entire time because I can hit the moves with my eyes closed and he would be flicking his eyes between the screen and me wondering how on EARTH I got so good at this. SO CUTE!

California Gurls | Katy Perry

THIS IS THE ONE THAT IS TIED WITH HOT N’ COLD FOR FIRST! I’m good good at this one. I grew up on Snoop Dogg and I fully believe that is why I am so good at this song. Anyway Pietro— without a doubt in my mind Pietro would kill this song (or in the very least try to kill it) and I’m not worried about losing because of the sheer amount of gameplay I have on this song alone. He would have the most fun with me and it would be the literal time of my life. Like I might actually lose this one just to see him get all happy and puppy-like about winning— LOL just kidding no I wouldn’t, sorry peanut better luck next time. You killed the hip wiggles though!

Forget You | CeeLo Green

Okay this one might not make any sense but Bucky. This is a hard-ish song but I think some of the moves really scream like old-timey and I think— if he could get rid of his pride for five seconds and let some of the fun-loving, silly Bucky out— that he would really enjoy this song. It’s fast paced but repetitive, the lyrics are fun, and I would be laughing enough for the both of us that he wouldn’t think about how dumb he looks because I’d be looking doubley stupid. Don’t let that fool you— I am a whiz at this song too. There’s a lot of jumping and spinning and jump spinning that entice that perfectionist side of me in a way that has driven me to perfect this song. This isn’t a heavily strategic move— it doesn’t need to be, he, again, hasn’t danced in years— but it is fun while allowing me to still win. NEXT!

Waterloo | ABBA

Okay two teams here, this is where it gets fun. This could go in a lot of directions. If Tony isn’t there then I would pull Nat— the gameplay is easy and she would pick it up within seconds. I would then pair up Steve and Thor because they’re both huge and clunky and would spend the entire time bumping into each other. Dirty but I’m doing it without regret. NOW— If Tony was there then we’re teaming up. I don’t trust him to not be on a team with me because he’s too competitive. I won’t risk it, not today, not ever— we’re eternal dance partners because I refuse to be bested by a man. Even a sexy, silver fox millionaire. The other team would be Sam and Bucky. They would fight the entire time. I can hear it now— “That was the wrong move, dumbass.” “You stepped on my foot, asshole.” — it’s a virtually flawless game plan. There’s a 1% chance they would team up to win against me but even then Bucky hasn’t danced since the 30’s. Foolproof.

Just Dance | Lady Gaga

I am AWFUL at this one but luckily it’s a group dance again. If I had to choose any song to take a break for— because I’ve literally just whooped Avenger butt at this point and deserve five minutes to sit down— it would be this one. This is 100% a strategic move. Love you miss Gaga but the choreography is WACK and I will not be losing. Anyway I will be nominating Tony, Pietro, and Sam— a dance battle of epic proportions and I honestly cannot tell you who I think would win. I can, however, speculate. Sam right off the bat would be a hard player to beat. I said it before and I will reiterate now— Sam Wilson has all the moves. But, that being said, Tony would not want to lose. Like at all. So I am pushed to believe that this fight would be a tough battle. Pietro I don’t think would try too hard to win but, then again, I just pitted him against Tony and, well, we all know how that goes. He has an ego too so honestly it could go in any direction. Pietro might be soft with me but against Sam and Tony— this fight might get dirty. Camera’s out people!

Gimme! Gimme! | ABBA

Thor. Like— there’s just no other person that I want to disco with. None. I want the blonde god up there next to me or nobody. Well, besides Steve because LOL yeah he’s not winning that sorry pumpkin we’ve already covered that. Thor I could simultaneously beat and laugh my ass off with. It’s a lot of tricky moves— ABBA didn’t come to play— and way too much variety for him to be able to catch on right away but he would also not care about looking like an idiot and might end up just picking me up and spinning me around because why not right? I would win and be happy.

Starships | Nicki Minaj

This is pure strategy— Tony. This is the only one I could beat him at because of the sheer amount of moves and plot twists in the choreography. There’s a lot of jumping, spinning, kicking movements and if you haven’t had two months to memorize it then you’ll be fucked. Even then it’s a long shot because— AGAIN THE EGO DRIVES THIS MAN TO HEIGHTS I HAVE YET TO SEE ANYWHERE ELSE— but it’s my best bet. If I could blindside him enough with the hip wiggling then it would be a sure win but he might see through the strategy. He’s smart— too smart. I would fight dirty— I don’t lose. Now, if Tony— again— was not present then I would pull my baby Wanda for this one because she would have so much fun and it would be 1000% worth it. Literally my ray of sunshine— let’s do fun girl things like dance to Nikci like the entire team isn’t watching. Clint and Sam would be singing along— that’s canon. Nat would be filming and cheering. The super soldiers, iron boy (assuming he’s sitting this one out), the fast one, and the gods would be slack jawed. It doesn’t get better

Maneater | Nelly Furtado

I can’t even explain how long I’ve had the plan for this one. Too long. Remember the sexiness I was talking about? Yeah— here’s where I’m gonna’ need it. This is ALSO one of my favourite songs on this playlist because of how sexy I feel dancing to it. The moves are *chefs kiss* so fucking amazing I could cry. I feel like a maneater when I dance to this and that is a blessed feeling. Anyway— I will be pulling two people for this song and those people are Clint and Nat. I think Clint— contrary to popular belief— is secure enough to have fun dancing to this and, also, not to mention the most important part— whoever wins gets to take me on a date. The big guns. Literally it’s a foolproof plan. First, I can’t lose because this choreography is hard as fuck for beginners and I have been practicing and perfecting it for months. Second, the fight between Nat and Clint would be so fucking entertaining. They’re skilled, agile, sleek assassins who would literally dance to Nelly Furado like their lives depended on it. I think what’s even funnier is that Nat is for sure the better dancer but I just know Clint is a) only a fraction less better than her and b) would be trying SO HARD to win. Like I wouldn’t put it past him to not play dirty. I am cute, after all. His 6’3” ass would be sweating trying to get my 5’2” ass on that date.

Good Feeling | Flo Rida

Clint, baby, knowing full well you could have possibly just lost the last round to Nat, I will give you one more chance— mainly because this whole song is a vibe and the choreography is so much fun and there’s a handful of moves that I both want to do in sync with you but also want to laugh watching as you flounder them. Clearly as a stealthy archer assassin I am testing my luck with this one but he just doesn’t know the in depth ins and outs of this choreo. He doesn’t know about the like seventeen hundred bridges that this song has and the robot moves in the middle. So I’ll wrack up those extra points where needed. Honestly if you only click one link make it this one— I can’t describe how fun this would be with him. Competitive but fun. I have faith in myself that I would come out on top. He’s agile but I’d risk it all for the title of champion. Still, he would fight hard— that’s why I love him though.

How Far I’ll Go | Auli’i Cravalho

This is my cool down song but there’s someone here who has managed to hide his way into not playing and that is unacceptable— Loki, babe, you’re doing my relaxing song with me because the gods only know how much you need a break. I’ll look dumb because— believe it or not— the slow song trips me up the most. But it’s fun and it’s the reason I don’t have a heart attack when my chubby ass is done all the fast songs— so it’s necessary. It’s also slow enough that he won’t look dumb and thus won’t literally kill me because he won’t be embarassed. I would willingly lose to Loki because I don’t want to lose my life. It isn’t a loss— it’s survival. That and I think he’d smile if he got a good score and that alone is worth losing to this one (1) man. I also want to add that I think Clint would secretly love this one because you can’t tell me that a man with an aim as good as him doesn’t meditate. He does and he would perhaps beat Loki at this one. Rest in peace to the love of my life when the trickster god literally tears his head from his body but sometimes you’ve got to take the L baby.

[hollyxqx]

LOVER, LEAVER  //  JIMIN  //  04

↪ PAIRING: Reader/Park Jimin (initally reader/Jungkook) ↪ SUMMARY: There’s only so much cheating you can take from your boyfriend when he’s on tour before you take matters in to your own hands. ↪ WORD COUNT: 8.4k

↪ WARNINGS: mentions of addiction/drugs | smut w/ premature ejaculation lol | there’s a DUI (don’t yell at me these are the laws where i live) | angsty people being messy

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | FINAL

Namjoon has become a semi-permanent feature around the apartment lately. It's a good thing, even if at times there's an awkward passing of each other in the hallway or moments of slightly uncomfortable silence.

There's been no apologies exchanged between the two of you since whatever that was one month ago in Hyerin's living room. Not that you wanted to give one or particularly receive one, but you would settle for the stiff politeness you exchange for Hyerin's benefit.  He was meeting you halfway, effort equal to yours.

Not much else had changed in those thirty days, aside from your renewed contact with Jimin. It's tentative, hesitant, almost shy even like you don't know each other as well as you do but it's truly a welcome intrusion into your days. Perhaps Jimin's slowness is because he doesn't want to scare you away again.

The topic of Jungkook has yet to come up. You feel as if it's inevitable and dread it.

Jungkook is on your mind nearly daily, whether you like it or not. Since the night Hyerin had told you he was in one of the most inebriated states of his life he had barely been in contact with any one of his regular group of friends, occasionally you'd hear dribbles from Hyerin that he was okay but you were familiar with this pattern. You were worried. An underlying sense of doom twisted your insides whenever his face appeared in your thoughts.

You're not made of stone, even if you wish you were. Two years of affection don't vanish in the blink of an eye, and you always will want him to be happy. He might be telling his friends he's doing (and Hyerin quoted) fucking amazingly right now, but you know that's a lie he's telling himself.

When you see Hyerin for the first time that day you practically all but squeal with excitement, her tiny bump protrudes her slim figure now, nearly five months gone. It's been a few days since you'd last seen her in person and you swear she's grown already. She walks slowly into your shared place after staying with Namjoon for the last few days. He follows behind her.

The first thing you do is bombard her in the doorway, hands instantly going straight to her bump. "God y/n, you're obsessed." She laughs, playfully annoyed but her hand joins yours when there's a flutter as the baby rolls as you coo.

"I swear you've literally grown in the last 5 or whatever days." You tell her, marvelling at her stomach. It's the first time a close friend of yours has been with child and keeping up with her progress has been exciting.

"Well, all we mostly did was eat, didn't we?." She looks to Namjoon who nods silently. "That might be me growing, not baby."

They come inside and you make yourself scarce, disappearing to your own room to give them some space, and well, avoid Namjoon.

Lately much of your time has been spent looking for graduate work. It's unfulfilling and you've yet to find anything substantial but it keeps you occupied. You sit at your laptop and scroll endlessly. Eventually your eyes start to burn and water with the strain of staring at a bright screen to long, followed by an accompanying rumble of your stomach, which means it's definitely time for a break.

You open your bedroom door and listen for a few minutes. It's silent which means you'll likely be undisturbed. The faint sound of a television can be heard but you're sure it must be the one in Hyerin's room, so you head to the kitchen.

As you pass the living area you see Hyerin sleeping on the sofa, head resting on Namjoon's shoulder while his arm drapes lazily over her. You can only see the back of his head so you have no idea if he is awake or not. You don't hang around to find out.

The kitchen is pretty bare these days since your roommate has entered the nausea phase of her pregnancy and is still deciding what makes her sick and what doesn't. You settle for toast. It's not exciting but it's quick.

"Y/n?"

You look to the sound of your name, surprised to find Namjoon standing behind you. He looks as uncomfortable as you feel. "Hey..." You saw slowly. You sound awkward trying to pretend to be chill. "Um. Do you want some food?"

"No." He says. "Thanks."

The silence hangs like a lead weight. You silently scream at him just go away, neither of us wants this!

"I wanted to," He begins. Then coughs. You wait. His eyes look at anything but you when he tries again. "I wanted to apologise to you."

Oh. You're not sure if this is much better than the awkward silence. "That's alright, honestly." You dismiss.

"It isn't. I've been thinking a lot about what you said." He stuffs his hands in his pockets and stares at his shoes. You feel like you're on a hidden camera show or something. You've never seen him act like this before. He's practically shy at this point. "About this baby not wanting me."

"Namjoon," You sigh. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I was just upset and feeling protective about my friend."

"No, that's not what I mean." He shakes his head. "You did mean it. But it's okay, I fuckin' need to hear it."

You just stare silently at him.

"I mean, you could have said it a bit more kindly." He jokes, trying to relieve the tension. You offer him a small smile. "The sentiment was true, and I had never thought about it like that until you laid that truth bomb on me."

"Oh." You hear yourself say.

"I had a dad who didn't give a fuck about me, y'know?" He scratches the back of his neck and looks away. You could swear he was blushing. "Didn't want me and bailed on mom the second he could. If he were to come into my life now, I'd tell him to get lost. Hated that guy my whole life, yknow. I don't want a kid to feel that way about me, ever. Wasting their entire life resenting me." He takes a deep breath. "I just wanted to say thanks, I guess."

You guess your words were part of the impact on the recent change in his behaviour. You hadn't intended them to be but you're glad they did. The toast you were making pops and both you and Namjoon jump a little.

"You don't have to thank me." You leave the bread where it is. "I'm sorry I was so rude about it."

"I'm sorry I called you a bitch."

"I kind of was."

You both laugh a little.  Tension relieves slightly and the awkwardness isn't as palpable anymore.

"Things are going well," He states, referring to Hyerin. "I don't know what's going to happen with me and her, but I'll be here for that kid no matter what, which I guess is the important thing."

"This might sound insincere and I promise it isn't, but I think that's really honourable of you Namjoon."

He shrugs the compliment off, but looks a little happy nonetheless. "Anyway, I'll leave you to your food."

Just as he's about to leave you want to take advantage of the moment and ask about Jungkook. You call out to him and he freezes looking at you expectantly. You almost bottle it and lose your nerve. "Is...is Jungkook okay?"

His entire face changes, expression unreadable. "He's alive, if that's what you mean."

"That's not what I mean."

"Y/n," He lets out a long breath. "No. No he's not okay."

"Is there anything I can do?" God, you feel so guilty and so helpless.

"I don't think there's anything any of us can do right now." Namjoon says sadly. "You can't help someone who won't help themselves."

On that note, he leaves the room.

***

The latest job interview feels like it went well, but so did the last three. You don't pin any hope on it as you walk to the subway, portfolio under one arm, empty paper coffee cup in the other. It gets tossed in the bin at the station. You learned your lesson the first few times; don't get too excited. Although it's hard not to when you want something so badly and it feels within your grasp.

At this point you don't mind working for free, you still have your job at the restaurant. Some money for your hard earned degree wouldn't be unwelcome however.

You sit on the platform waiting for your train, feeling uncomfortable in your outfit. It's very corporate - heels, pencil skirt, blouse. Not very you at all but the interviews require it. According to the electronic information board your train will be here in 4 minutes. Your leg shakes impatiently.

You happen to turn your head at the exact moment Jimin steps on to the platform. His painting studio is nearby which you conveniently forgot, it makes sense for him to be here. You're the one on strange territory, not him. Still, it's a shock to the system. It's been three months since you've seen him in person. His hair is darker, the sandy blonde gone and he's a little leaner; but it's Jimin.

He spots you and slows down momentarily. He's as surprised as you are.

"Hey." He breathes when he reaches you.

"Hi." You smile.

He gestures to your portfolio with a nod of his head. "How'd it go?" Earlier you'd told him through text your plan for that day.

"We'll see." You say as you shrug. "I don't want to get my hopes up."

"Don't worry, I'm sure it went well." He assures with a warm smile. You think he looks as good as ever. "Are you headed home?"

"Yeah." You say. "I can't wait to get out of these clothes. I'm done being secretary barbie for today."

Jimin laughs. "I kind of like it." You give him a sceptical look. "What?" He grins, shooting his best innocent glance. You shake your head. "Listen, y/n, do you want to grab a cup of coffee?"

"Now?"

He nods.

You have nothing better to do, so you agree.

***

It's not strange being with Jimin like this. Which is strange in itself. You anticipated some awkward tension after so many things were unsaid, uncertain and unclear but there was none. He was just Jimin. The same sweet, kind man you'd met two years ago, let into your bed and then proceeded to break his heart. You're not sure if he's selfless or just a glutton for punishment.

He tells you work is great, better than it's ever been which makes you happy. He's talented so it's not a shock but a welcome surprise. He's recently moved to a bigger apartment that he loves. He even thinks he's ready for a pet, although you're sure that last part is said slightly in jest.

You fill him in a little more on your life, texts exchanged you can only say so much. Jimin gets an update on Hyerin which makes him smile. You tell him about Namjoon -  the argument and subsequent apology. The only topic left is Jungkook. It feels like Jimin senses it too because a tension seems to form.

"So..." He says.

"So." You mimic.

He licks his lips. "How is everything...else? Are you still single?"

"Yes, I am." You almost want to laugh at the way he asks the question.

"Me too."

"Are you prying about Jungkook?" You tease.

"Kinda." He laughs. "I didn't know how to bring it up since we were having a good time."

"It's ok." You offer him an encouraging smile. "I haven't seen or heard from him. You?"

"Actually yeah." says Jimin. You raise a brow in surprise. That was unexpected. "A few texts here and there that are erratic to say the least. Sometimes he hates me, sometimes he's sorry. It's kind of worrying actually."

"Namjoon kind of alluded to the same sort of thing. He's worried too."

Jimin nods solemnly. "I always try to reply as best I can, just so if something - touch wood - bad, happens Jungkook knows that door of communication is still open. But he never really responds to me. Just texted more incoherent thoughts." He lets out a long sigh. "Even though we were both shitty friends to each other, I've known him too many years. I have to be there for him no matter what."

A few moments of contemplative silence pass. The coffee shop is rather quiet at the moment, the only other people in the small cafe is a teenager, nose buried in a laptop and a couple in the corner. The boy has shaggy black hair, and is holding onto his girl like she's a prized possession. Sadly, it reminds you of Jungkook during happier times, he always was a little possessive but in a charming way that made your heart swell when you saw him.

You're not entirely sure what to make of the information you've just received. At the very, very, very least, you're glad that Jimin is still there for his friend regardless.

"In spite of all that I'm glad we ran into each other today." You say as lightly as possible. It makes Jimin smile.

"I am also. I've wanted to ask you to meet up so many times but I knew you wanted space." He blushes a little. "I'm glad fate intervened."

"I think it was better this way, actually."

You finish your coffees and Jimin walks you home. His arm occasionally brushes against yours as you walk. When you reach your building the two of you pause in front of it. You wonder if he's going to kiss you and it makes your heart thud wildly. The jury's still out on whether you even want that or not.

"Thanks for walking me home."

"No problem."

He stares at you for a beat. "Can we do this again?"

"Coffee? Uh sure." You reply, slightly confused. He shakes his head.

"No. Or yeah, whatever you want. I just want to see you again. Maybe...like a date?" He gives you such a hopeful yet promising look that's so endearing it almost physically hurts. You open your mouth to reply and as if he anticipates that your about to refuse him he hurries out, "We can take it really slow. No pressure. Just spending time together."

"Alright," You agree, softening. "I'd like that."

Jimin leaves, looking as if he just won a prize of his own.

***

You smile as you remove your jacket and shoes at the front door, mind still entirely occupied with thoughts of Jimin. Your quickly brought back to earth by the voices of Namjoon and Hyerin. At first glance it doesn't appear as if they're arguing but one look at Hyerin's face and you can see something is most definitely up.

"Hey..." You begin cautiously, looking between them.

"Hi." Hyerin strains a smile. "I expected you much earlier. How'd it go?"

She means the interview. "Good I think." You look hesitantly at Namjoon. "I ended up bumping into Jimin, actually."

You wait for judgement to pass across his face but he remains stoically blank. Thank god.

"Oh," Hyerin seems surprised. "Ok."

"What's going on? There's a weird mood in here guys." You ask after a tense moment and silence.

"Jungkook." Namjoon answers with a sigh. You tense immediately.

"What's happened?" You ask, fearing the worst.

Namjoon shakes his head. "He keeps showing up to recording sessions drunk. Or worse. I'm worried."

You're worried too.

***

Inexplicably, the first official date with Jimin is a little awkward. Which is odd, because the accidental crossing of paths a week earlier wasn't in the slightest. Maybe it's because it's officially labelled as a date now, you don't know. Either way, you know he feels it too, stretched silences drawing on a little too long between you.

At the end of the night you allow him to kiss you. It's brief but familiar. You knew you missed the physical side of a romantic relationship but kissing him showed you just how much. As you lay in bed that night, the sensation of the kiss not entirely gone yet, you have to sternly remind yourself that you're taking it slow. You're too used to giving into your desires when you're around him.

The second date is far better, both of you overcome whatever hurdle caused the uncomfortableness in the first one. Jimin treats you to an over priced but amazing meal at a top end restaurant. It feels so grown up, you're not used to dates like this. Jungkook was the first real boyfriend you'd ever had, and his dating style was a lot more casual.

You never exactly had an official first date with Jungkook. Most of the time you spent together involved getting naked together in his apartment enough times that you became a couple. Sure, you went out together but it was mostly to parties or bars. That's just who he was and you accepted that.

The third date Jimin brings you to his art studio. It's an unusual setting for a date, but you go along with it when Jimin promises there's a surprise in store. His eyes twinkle and you can't help but feel a little excitement spark in you. It's an intimate, private piece of him to share with you and it feels special. Different.

His studio is where he does his creating. It's a reasonably large white space that's littered with paint splashes, tarp that protects most of the floor, and works in progress propped up on easels. Although Jimin looks out of place now dressed smartly in slacks and a button up shirt, you can completely imagine him hard at work in here.

"Stop being so coy," You whine impatiently and Jimin chuckles as he strides determinedly across the vast space. You watch, unsure what you're allowed to touch or not touch. "I like surprises but I'm too impatient for the suspense."

"Well, you're just going to have to deal with it." He informs you, before disappearing inside a door on the opposite side of the room.

You gaze around the room as you wait for him to return, absorbing all the visible artwork. There's a lot of rustling before the sound of a crash resonates and Jimin swears.

He truly is talented. No wonder he's been so successful as of late. Your eyes land on a particular work. It's a brightly coloured butterfly, except it's done in watercolour and he's allowed the rainbow paint to drip and run down the canvas. It's beautiful and you wonder why he hasn't sold it yet. An egotistical part of you speculates that it might be inspired by you, given the affectionate nickname he has for you.

When Jimin returns he's holding a canvas against his body but the painted side is facing away from you. You wonder what on earth he's up to.

"Sit." He instructs, pointing to the chrome stool at his desk. You give him a puzzled look but comply anyway. "Close your eyes."

"Jimin - "

"Shush. Now close your eyes."

You sigh and do as he asked, clasping your hands in your lap whilst simultaneously feeling a little ridiculous. There's some shuffling and scraping of metal on the floor and even with your eyes closed you can sense that he's switched some of the lights off. "What are you up to Jiminie?" You ponder aloud.

"You'll see."

You sense some movement behind you and you can tell Jimin is close to you. His hands rest on your shoulders as he leans down to whisper, hot breath ghosting against the shell of your ear. "Okay. Open your eyes butterfly."

You're met with an image that sucks the air out of your lungs. It's you. Jimin has painted you.

Except it's not you. Not regular, every day, flesh and blood you. Painting you is bold and vibrant, he's captured you in a way you've never viewed yourself. The image is clearly based on your face, except you appear more like some mythical fairy. There's flowers woven into your flowing hair that's much longer than yours, covering your naked chest. The only colours on the canvas are red and some pink.

"Jimin..." You begin, attempting to search for the right words that convey just how overwhelmed you feel. His eyes bore into you expectantly. "This is incredible. You're so talented! It's me right?"

He laughs. "Of course its you."

"You made me look beautiful, I almost didn't recognise myself." You admit, blushing. "No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Why did you paint this?"

"You've kind of been a muse to me for a while now." He confesses.

"A muse? Me?"

He nods. "Yeah...it's kind of embarrassing. Ever since the first time we met you've always been a source of inspiration. So thank you, I guess."

"Why me?" You blurt. "I'm just so ordinary, I wish I looked like this." You gesture to the canvas.

"It's more than just how you look, you know. You're beautiful, of course, but you're strong and tough yet still somehow soft enough to be kind, even when people don't deserve it. Not all strong people have that in them y/n but you do."

"I don't know what to say." You whisper, swivelling round to face him.

"That's why I chose the colours I did. Red for the passion and fire within you, and pink because you're sensitive and compassionate. I felt that it suited you."

"I don't deserve you, Park Jimin." You tell him as you pull him in for a kiss. "You might be the sweetest boy I've ever met."

"You do deserve me."

He kisses you fiercely, cupping your face with his hands. The angle is a bit uncomfortable as you're still sitting whilst he's standing but you don't care. The rush of affection you feel for him right now is the only thing on your mind.

"I love the painting." You breathe against his lips. "Thank you."

You separate, albeit reluctantly but he locks your hands together.  "This is my one creation I won't ever sell. I'm going to hang it somewhere, maybe my gallery so everyone can see it. I just needed the inspirations approval first." He smiles.

"You more than have it. I'm so lucky I have someone so talented in my life."

Standing now you lock arms around his neck and kiss him slower and deeper than before. Jimin's hand at the small of your back presses you flush against him. His hand slides lower and lower until he's giving the plump flesh of your ass a rough squeeze. It's too easy to get carried away and you badly want him to take you then and there.

He groans pulling away, biting your lip as he does so. "Taking it slow, yeah?" He asks breathlessly. "Does that mean no sex right away?"

"That's probably for the best..." You can't help but kiss him again. You remember how good it felt and it takes everything not to say fuck me against the wall. "There's time."

He presses his forehead against yours and smiles. "Whatever you want, butterfly."

***

Hyerin is at the point of her pregnancy now where her maternity leave has began and days are spent nesting and preparing for the upcoming baby. Preparations unfortunately (and sadly, for you) include her moving into Namjoon's apartment with him. This means two things. One; things are still on a good track for the couple and you're glad and two; you now need to find a roommate, short of getting a fabulously paying job within the next few days.

The painful silence on the employment front is enough to make you uneasy but you're always sure to wear a brave for your friend. She has enough to worry about, you think, and you know the decision to move out wasn't done lightly or with malice either. Hyerin even offered to help you find a new roommate but you waved her off. Read: enough to worry about.

You continue with the job search and fruitless interviews and plough forward, facing no other choice. On the last day Hyerin and you will be living together you both agree to go shopping together. She needs a few more items for the baby and you well, you need a distraction from life for a few hours.

Aimlessly you stroll around a mall that's a forty minute drive away, Hyerin's recommendation because she wanted somewhere with aircon since lately she's been uncomfortable almost all the time. Even though she complains multiple times about her size on the journey you still she thinks she looks great.

She shows you pictures of the newly decorated nursery and your heart warms. Hyerin doesn't have to verbalise it outright, you know she's extremely excited. When you enter a baby clothing store she's cooing and aw'ing over every tiny item and ends up buying more than she wanted to. She looks at you at the checkout and shrugs, as if to say oh well.

"How's Jimin...?" She asks coyly, peering at you out of the corner of her eye. You hold the door for the makeup store open for her and she waddles through. She's aware you've been seeing him, but neither of you have had much time to catch up on details.

"Good. Great." You can't help the smile that stretches your lips.

"You're happy." She informs you and you nod. "I wouldn't put you two together but now that i've seen you with him, it makes sense you know."

"I like him." You cock your head. A year ago you might agreed with her but the more time you spend with him the more you enjoy his company.

"I've never spent much time with him, but I trust your judgement. Would it be strange for the four of us to spend time together?" She hums, swatching a lipstick on the back of her palm, before frowning at the color.

Your stomach twists at the thought. "Maybe in ten years when everyone's forgotten what I've done." You joke. "Namjoon is Jungkook's bestfriend. I wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable."

"It's a shame you started like that."

"Nothing's official."

"Yet." She counters.

You offer a non-committal hum, still unsure if that is exactly the route you want to go down with Jimin. It's easy now, just to see where it goes and take things slowly.

Bored of shopping and after only buying one dress for yourself (that you weren't particularly excited about, but felt the urge to treat yourself regardless) the two of you make the mutual decision to grab a bite to eat. You're more than happy to let Hyerin choose the venue.

She scrolls lazily through her phone while you wait for the food to arrive. You have a text from Jimin sent forty five minutes earlier telling you to have a nice day and you smile at your phone, warmth radiating in your chest.

"Oh my God."

You look up at Hyerin's voice. She has a hand over her mouth and her eyes are wide as she stares at the screen. Instantly you know something is wrong. Fear immediately prickles at your skin, anticipating a problem with the baby.

"What?" Panic is at the edge of your voice. "What's wrong?"

She hesitates and it only serves to worry you further. "I hate that I am the one to show you this but..." Nothing more is said when she slides her phone across the table to you. Frowning you squint at the device, open to a webpage.

Jungkook has been arrested.

Time feels completely frozen as you scroll, reading as fast as your eyes will allow. Your heartbeat is thrumming, uncomfortable and loud in your ears as you try and absorb as much of the information as the article had written. In the middle of the page their was a tacky tabloid picture of him being roughly escorted by police, hands linked behind his back with cuffs. It's even more unfortunate that this was such a public affair.

You swear under your breath at the reason he's in this position, the glaring words taunting you. Drunk driving and disorderly behaviour.

"Are you ok y/n?" Hyerin asks cautiously.

"No." A hot tear splashes on her phone and you wipe it away quickly. "This is bad. It says he's in hospital. Right there at the bottom."

"What for?"

"Apparently he caused an accident and ended up injured. It doesn't give details."

You share a look across the table of fear mixed with worry. Silently you slide her phone back to her. You had anticipated something bad happening as a result of his drinking but not this. Jungkook was a public figure and it pained you to see him immortalised like this. It pained you to know he had taken his recklessness to a new level. It pained you that all of this was happening.

"Let's eat quickly and then go home. I'll call Namjoon and see if there's anything we can do." You friend tells you gently, knowing you well enough to know you won't be able to sit still for the rest of the day. Maybe there was nothing you could do but you could try.

***

"He asked for you."

You stare at Namjoon, astonished. Those were the last words you expected to leave his lips. Standing at your doorway, looking as worried as you felt he patiently waited for your reaction.

"He hates me." The first thought that enters your mind slips out before you can stop it. Namjoon shrugs.

"I'm just the messenger."

Everything about this feels like a bad idea. Your entire body tenses, as if on high alert. Jungkook wants to see you. He could have called you but he didn't, which makes you feel apprehensive. He wants a face to face, which to you, feels like a horrible scenario waiting to be played out. The last time you met in person did not go well.

"I'm on my way now, if you want to join me." Namjoon jingles his car keys at you for emphasis. The idea of not being entirely alone with Jungkook feels slightly more tolerable.

"Fine." You offer reluctantly. He spares you a few minutes to get ready and gather your things before the two of you head to the hospital together.

When you had phoned Jimin a few days prior to share the news it was no surprise to you that he was already aware. You wondered if he had been to visit Jungkook or had plans to, or if Jungkook even wanted that. You don't voice this aloud to Namjoon.

It's mostly quiet in the car and you stare out the window, hoping Namjoon doesn't feel uncomfortable. There's no tension between you anymore but you're not exactly best buds forever. He puts the radio on and you're thankful it eases the silence.

"What do you think about rehab?" You ask, still looking out the window. "For 'Kook. Do you think he needs it?" You clarify.

"I would love it if he went." Namjoon sighs, out of the corner of your eye he grips the wheel a little tighter. "Maybe this will be a wake-up call for him."

Hyerin had told you that Namjoon had been completely sober since they had agreed to try and be together for the sake of their unborn child. It had surprised you to an extent but Namjoon had never been as bad as Jungkook, never appeared as if anything was a problem (not infront of you anyway) and apparently he had no issue maintaining a sober life these days. Jungkook always did do everything better than everyone else.

Anticipation brings a slight tremble to your body as you trail behind Namjoon on your way to Jungkook's hospital suite. He agrees to go in first to tell Jungkook you're here. Your knee shakes when you sit on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs outside the room.

Every second that passes as you wait feels achingly slow. The low voices of the two men rumble through the thin wall but you can't make out exactly what is being said. You're not sure if you want to. Maybe you could run, it's not too late.

The door clicks open and Namjoon gestures for you to go inside. He doesn't follow.

Jungkook lies in a white bed in the center of the room, propped up on a few large soft pillows. The first thing you think when your eyes land on him is that he doesn't look good. He's thinner and bruised from the accident. "Hi." You whisper for some reason. The room feels too quiet.

"Hey, come sit." He croaks hoarsely, gesturing to a chair next to the bed. His eyes follow you as you cross the room and you feel awkward.

You don't know where to start. "How are you?" It feels redundant but it's the best you've got.

"Battered n' bruised." He smiles but it's clearly forced. "Thanks for coming."

"I was surprised you asked for me. But I'm glad you're okay. Pictures of your car were online. It looked wrecked."

He shrugs. "It's worse than it looks. Modern cars are actually pretty safe. Just a few broken ribs but I'm golden."

Jungkook rubs tiredly at his face, stifling a yawn. There's a new tattoo on his hand. You wonder if there's more. "Don't take this the wrong way but I thought you would be in jail."

"I was injured so they took me here. I have a trial in a few weeks. Probably will just get a DUI." He explains. "I'm sorry we had to meet like this but I've wanted to for a long time. Thought you'd take pity on me and visit."

"It's not pity that brings me here. " You say quietly. He's staring at you so intently you can't meet his gaze for much longer and opt to stare at your lap. "I care."

Jungkook reaches for your hand. Confused, you go to take it but stop for a moment. There's undeniable injection sites in between the blue black ink of his tattoos. He's been shooting up. What you don't know exactly but you know taking anything intravenously means things are bad. You take his hand, albeit shakily. You say nothing about what you noticed.

"I'm in trouble baby." He says. You've never heard him sound so vulnerable before. Your heart positively aches in your chest. "I'm in so much trouble."

"What's going on with you Kook?" You press, squeezing his hand.

"I think I'm out of control." To your complete and utter despair he blinks away a few tears. "I could have killed someone just because I wanted to get fucked up."

"You've always liked to get drunk Kookie..." You say joylessly.

"I don't know when it went from getting drunk to have fun and this. It's not fun anymore."

"It was so stupid of you. So stupid." You sigh. "You are better than that."

"I want to be."

He's gripping your hand so tightly, so desperately you die a little inside. He's broken.  "You can get help, there's professionals who are trained to help people exactly like you. All you need to do is take it."

"I want to." He whispers.

"Do it." You are almost begging. "Just. Do. It."

"I'll get Hoseok to look into it for me. Take some time off and sort my head out." He offers you another smile but it's somber. You hope more than anything his words are genuine. Not much else is said between you, other than you offering whatever support and reinforcement you can give.

You hold his hand until you leave, kissing him on the forehead before you go.

***

Jimin strokes your hair absent-mindedly as you lay together in his bed. Your head rests on his chest as you scroll through your phone whilst he watches television. It's so sickeningly domestic, it surprises you how much you enjoy it. You find yourself googling rehab centre's in the area for Jungkook. It's not much but you want to help.

Something Jimin's watching makes him laugh and you peer up at him. "I love this show." He smiles when he notices you looking at him. "You should watch it with me."

"Yeah, in a minute." You mumble, going back to your device. You're composing a few links to send to Hoseok, even though as Jungkook's manager he is fully capable of doing it himself you just want to ensure Jungkook has the opportunity to consider all the options possible.

"What are you doing?" He asks. "It must be important to have captured your attention like this. Job searching?"

"No. I'm looking at rehab places for Jungkook."

"Oh." Jimin replies quietly. He understands why when you explain to him that you went to visit Jungkook. There's an arduous history that comes along with dating you, he knows that. In an ideal world, there wouldn't be but you think he likes you enough to put up with it. You hope. "That's nice of you."

"It's the least I can do. I'm giving Hoseok a list and then I'm all yours, babe. Hold on."

With a heavy sigh you put your phone on his nightstand and snuggle into him a little more. You hook one of your legs around his waist, as if you can't be close enough to him. His hand grips your thigh and holds it there. "Do you want to stay tonight?" He hums. Since you've rekindled things you've yet to actually spend the night together. Tonight you don't want to be alone.

"Please." You reply.

Sensing you might need it, Jimin swoops in for a kiss. Having not had sex yet every time you kiss lately it seems to get real dirty real fast. Neither of you show much self restriction now. It's almost too easy to slide over so you're lying on top of him, knees pressed into the mattress either side of his narrow hips. His hands grip your ass outside of your clothes, encouraging you to grind against him. It doesn't take him long to get hard from this.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder if you're the last girl he's been intimate with. A possessive part of you hopes so but the thought goes as quickly as it comes.

Jimin has been so patient with you, so it's your turn to take the lead and let him know you're ready now. Breaking away from his lips you sit up, crossing your arms across your torso, pulling your shirt up and over you head. He watches you, dreamy and glassy-eyed as if he can't quite believe what's happening.

"You sure?" He breathes, eyes drinking in your newly exposed chest.

"Positive."

Resuming the kiss, his hands explore your body, feeling every inch of you. He quickly snaps your bra off and you help him slide it down your arms. You whine when his hands cup your breasts, thumbs grazing your nipples. You're extra sensitive there anyway but going a long time without being touched only heightens the sensations. Jimin keens at your reaction and grins against your lips.

"Mm, you like this." He whispers, tweaking one of the hardened buds. You only moan your agreement, rutting against him. Feeling how hard he is against you only makes your stomach lurch with arousal.

"Touch me Jimin, do anything you want. I've missed this." You tell him desperately, already feeling a little light headed.

"Fuck," He says wet mouth against your neck as his hands slide underneath the back of your leggings. "Take these off."

You roll on to your back and quickly wiggle the clothing down your hips while Jimin whips his own shirt off. He's on you in an instant, using his hips to push your legs apart. You're barely focusing on his sloppy kisses over your chest because you're too busy trying to get his pants off. He laughs at your failed attempt and his breath tickles.

"Get naked." You demand. "We've waited long enough."

The belt he's wearing slides through the loops on his pants and hits the floor with a thud. Briefly he stands to kick off his jeans and you can't help but ogle the outline of his hardness through the tight grey boxers slung low on his hips. Naked skin on skin makes you feel almost drunk when he's back in your arms. His body is warm and familiar and god, so soft you melt into him easily.

You're hot all over from his touch. His hands consume your body as if it's the first time he's every touched you and wants to explore everywhere.

The time for teasing can wait. You're already gripping his impossibly hard length underneath the material of his underwear, slowly stroking him up and down. He hisses at the contact.

"Do I need a condom?" Somehow there's still a rational part of his brain functioning right now, despite the handjob. Truth be told, you'd forgot that little detail.

"No, tested right after Jungkook."

"I'm still clean." Jimin assures you.

"Good."

He slides down the bed, ungracefully struggling out of his underwear. You bite back a laugh. He's adorable. "Can I eat you out first?" He pleads, already hovering dangerously close to your cunt. You agree eagerly. His beautiful mouth was always fantastic between your thighs.

Jimin's tongue drags through your wet lower lips from top to bottom and you shudder involuntarily. Lately you've been so busy you don't even remember the last time you'd masturbated so his touch is nearly overwhelming. It takes a few cursory experimental licks before he finds his rhythm again. You fist is hair keeping his head firmly in place so you can roll your hips against his face.

He pulls away so quickly you think somethings wrong. "Jimin - "

" - I need to be inside you, now. The friction of my cock against the bedsheets was already getting too much." He laughs, crawling over you. His cock slides against your dripping, now aching, pussy and you groan. "I haven't had sex since you." He whispers, face hovering over yours.

Your hands grip his shoulders while he glides into you. The stretch is a little much at first and he stills for a minute, watching your face for any reactions after seeing you wince. "Okay?" He murmurs, nosing your cheek and peppering a few kisses across your skin.

"Okay." You repeat. "Fuck me." You whisper running a thumb over his plush lip. You can't help but gaze at his face, eyes blown out. He's gorgeous in such a delicate yet sexy way. "Please."

He slowly begins to move his hips, in and out, in and out, in and out and your eyes flutter shut with pleasure. All you were thinking about was how perfect he feels. Your legs fall open a little wider and your back arches against the bed. "Yes, Jimin - right there - god."

His breath is hot against your skin from exertion. He feels so good, filling you up like this. The more he works his hips the better the stretch is. You claw at his ass, encouraging him to go harder.

"Oh, shit, shitshitshit." He moans loudly, driving into you forcefully. He stops for a moment and you look at him, expecting him to rearrange your position or maybe he wants something different. His eyes are tightly screwed shut and his head hangs, as if he's in pain.

"...Jimin?"

"I'm sorry."

You're lost. What is he sorry for? Then it dawns on you.

"Did you just - "

"Yeah."

He's embarrassed and he avoids your gaze. This has never happened to you before, you've heard the stories of guys coming too quickly but thankfully had never experienced it. Until now. You try not to look too upset at the loss of an orgasm tonight because you can already see how annoyed with himself Jimin is. "I'm sorry, it's been a while and you felt so good...and yeah. Fuck this is embarrassing."

His now softening cock slips out of you and you can feel the tell tale sign of his release being to leak out. "Hey," You pull him down to you, and reassuringly kiss him. These things happen. You hadn't expected to last long either. "It's okay. Don't worry about it, next time will be better."

"I wanted our next first time to be unbelievable." He shakes his head, burying it into the crook of your neck with a frustrated groan. "Let me at least make it up to you now."

He props himself up on his left elbow as his right hand makes it's way down your body, over your bellybutton and straight to your neglected center. Languidly circling your clit with the pads of his forefinger and index you sigh in pleasure. "Do you want my mouth, butterfly?" He licks your neck up to your jaw, kissing the side of your parted mouth.

"I've got your cum in me." You huff, feeling a little self conscious and well, gross. You can't imagine that will be an enjoyable experience for him.

"I don't care." He's already moving down your body before you can protest further. "Want to feel you cum on my face."

"Jimin." You whine, trying to close your legs.

"Shit, ok. Hold on." He tells you, jumping up from the bed and disappearing into the adjoining bathroom in all his naked glory. Puzzled, you can only watch and anticipate his next move. He returns with a washcloth and gently cleans you up.

"You are so freakin' cute sometimes." You grin, unable to quite comprehend his thoughtfulness. Your heart clenches. No guy has ever done anything like this before for you. Although it's not a major display of affection, or even a big deal really, the simple gesture reads; I want to take care of you.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." He shrugs. When he's done he disposes of the cloth and before he can resume eating you out you grab at him, crashing your lips to his.

"I like you so much." You mumble against him.

"I like you too."

Jimin kisses you slowly for a few moments more, hands wandering down your ribs before gripping the flesh of your thighs. He spreads them once more, before shifting so he's in a more advantageous position. "Can I? Now?" He breathes. You nod.

When he licks into you, your eyes flutter shut and you allow yourself to just enjoy it. His thumbs rub circles on the soft flesh of your inner thighs. He keeps his eyes trained on you, reading your body language. "Ji-min," You breathe. "Want your fingers. Fuck me with them."

The bed creaks as he shifts to comply with your request. Two fingers slip inside you as you clench down, Jimin moans against your clit. Your hips start moving of their own according, rocking against his mouth. When you cum it's so intense you almost sit up completely as your muscles contract. His hands anchor you down.

"Oh my god." You exhale, panting.

"I'm hard again." He laughs. "So sexy." He murmurs, kissing all over the inside of your thighs.

"You wanna go again?"

"If you do."

When Jimin fucks you again he's spooning you from behind, a hand curled underneath your thigh to hold you open for him. He peers down and watches his cock disappear inside of you, moaning at how wet you are. This feels like heaven to you. You clutch his free hand and lock your fingers together.

He cums with a loud groan against the back of your neck. Sweet praises are whispered in your ear as he holds you tightly to him. "You're my favourite, butterfly."

You tenderly look at him over your shoulder. "You're my favourite too."

***

Spending time with Jimin makes you feel like you're floating with pure, unwavering happiness whenever you leave him. He's so sweet and generous - you feel safe with him. Jungkook might have destroyed your ability to trust easily but Jimin is unknowingly building it back up for you. It might be because it's not what he says, it's what he does, all to let you know he cares.

When you leave his place the next morning, full of the breakfast he's made you (with coffee; he remembers how you like it - milk and no sugar), you catch yourself smiling unconsciously several times. You'd feel ridiculous if you weren't so happy.

There's a few moments where you feel guilty for being so elated, worrying about Jungkook. You make a mental note to contact Hoseok in a few days to check in. Hopefully Jungkook is in rehab by then, or at the very minimum taking serious steps towards it.

Home feels empty without Hyerin now. You need to find a roommate, and soon, but the idea of replacing her isn't one you're ecstatic about. She suggested her friend Taehyung, the person you'd met once when he was roped into helping you move. He might be your only hope at this point.

Your phone chimes as you settle into you room. When Namjoon's name appears on your screen it brings a frown to your face, he texts you so infrequently it can only be bad news. Your heart begins to race as you swipe the message open.

from: namjoon jungkook's disappeared from the hospital. He was supposed to be discharged today and no one can reach him. I know you care about him still so i thought you'd want to know. Let me know if he calls you ok?

You swear loudly as you re-read the message. If you know Jungkook as well as you think you do him leaving the hospital without telling anyone was an escape. You appreciate Namjoon reaching out but you almost wish you didn't know that information. Jungkook is in trouble and there's nothing you can do.

MASTERLIST

[siempre-pedro]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Pedro Pascal x Reader 

Summary: Everything is blissful when Pedro asks you to be his dance partner for a dance lesson he has to take for a new role, until you catch a contagious illness and have to cancel. Pedro finds a way to still dance with you and confess his feelings. 

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I’m obsessed with those songs but in another room videos/audio! I wrote this inspired by Paul Anka’s song...but in another room. I recommend listening to it while you read. 

Requests are OPEN

A gentle knock of your apartment door interrupted your glamorous dinner one Monday night. You folded the corner of your magazine and took one final bite of your Lucky Charms before getting up to answer it “Coming,” you shout, your mouth sill full of cereal.

Once you open the door, you swallow your food as fast as you can, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of your hot neighbor. You’d known Pedro for years, he had moved in next to you and sent over a plate of baked goods and a note apologizing in advance for any noise. Both of you were smitten since that day. “Did I interrupt you again?” Pedro asks, grimacing at his awful timing.

“Nah I only got to the who wore it best section this time,” you chuckle, leaning on the cold door frame and tugging your knit sweater up on your shoulder. Pedro ran his fingers through his messy brown hair and then cooly put it in his front pocket “What do you need?”

“A favor,” he responds simply, “when was the last time you danced?” You squint your Y/E/C colored eyes and your lips pucker in thought.

“Senior prom. Why?”

“I signed on to do a project, and I have to learn how to waltz,” he explains, a pink tint rising to his tanned skin. You smile softly and cross your arms over your chest, motioning him to continue. “I found a class on Friday in Midtown, will you please be my partner?”

“Why me?” you ask, trying to hide a giddy smile that was threatening to make an appearance. The man of your dreams was inviting you out and all you do was stand there and look like an idiot! He looked so nervous and precious, standing there fidgeting on his spot.

“You know I have two left feet, I trust you not to laugh at me too much,” he laughs. That was fair, he did, hen he invited you to a friends wedding you got to experience that first hand. “Please, Y/N. I need you,” he begs looks at you with pleading eyes.

“Fine, fine, fine,” you agree “Friday.”

He sighs in relief and pulls his hands from his pockets “You are my savior, Y/N. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll see pick you up at 5 and we’ll take the Subway, yeah?” He plans excitedly, almost bouncing. You bit back a girly laugh and did your best to keep your calm composure.

“I’ll see you then.”

Except you wouldn’t. Tuesday and come and gone and when Wednesday came you woke up with the worst headache of your life. Your neck was so stiff it felt like you were tied to a board, and after some back and forth with yourself, you made an appointment and thankfully, they were able to see you right away. Pedro was texting you nonstop for updates and made silly jokes to calm you. Some made you giggle and others made you groan from second-hand embarrassment.

Those jokes didn’t help when your doctor stood in front of you, his clipboard under his arm, and his eyes looking stern down at you. The older looking man takes a deep breath before giving you the diagnosis “Its meningitis,” he tells you bluntly.

You blink a couple of times, cocking your head as far as it could go without it hurting…which wasn’t that far at all “Meningitis?” you repeat confused, you’d never heard of that before.

The doctor leans against the old counter and uses his free hand to press against the back of his neck “You have an infection that’s causing swelling of the membrane covering your brain and spinal cord, ” he begins to explain, and this is where your daydreams came to a rough stop “It’s highly contagious and often deadly, seizures, brain damage, hearing loss.”

Your eyes widened at the amount of emphasis he used in ‘highly’ “Oh,” was all you could say. Fuck now you were afraid you were going to die! You couldn’t tell Pedro you liked him if you were dead. “H-how bad is my case?” you ask meekly, your eyebrows turning upwards in worry.

“Thankfully we caught it early and the infection is only bacterial, I’ll be giving you the best antibiotics I can and you should come out of this with no side effects,” he tells you, taking his clipboard from his arm to start writing down a prescription. Here comes another kicker “You need to be quarantined for at least a week, no face to face interaction with other people.”

“I have a date Friday,” you say without thinking about what you just blurted out. The doctor looks up from his clipboard and gave you a look that said ‘are you serious?’

“Do you want them to get infected?”

“No.”

He laughs “Then stay home and rest. I’ll supply you with a few masks to get home, then no going out. You go to the pharmacy and go home. Got it?”

You smile at him “I do. Thank you, Doc.”

Telling Pedro you couldn’t go dancing with him may have been the hardest thing you’d ever have to do. You imagined it was going to crush him as bad as it did you. You lean back in your seat on the train, passengers saw your blue medical mask and creating a bubble around you, at least you were alone-ish. Sliding your phone out of your pocket you begin to text him ‘I’m on my way back.’

He replies almost instantly ‘How’d it go? Are you ok?’

‘I have meningitis. A brain infection basically.’

‘Jesus Christ. Are you going to live???’

‘lol yeah. I have to be quarantined for at least a week. I’m HIGHLY contagious. I can’t go with you Friday, I’m so sorry Pedro.’

Pedro’s quick responses ceased. You were constantly checking your phone every few seconds to see if he texted back. You watched your screen intensely, no pop-up messages were appearing, and when it did it was just an Instagram notification that gave you false hope. It took the actor 7 minutes to finally respond.

‘Fuck. Please don’t worry Y/N, I just really want you to get better! I’ll go to that bodega down the street and get you a few things so you don’t starve and stuff.’

Fuck this guy for taking care of you, fuck him for being sweet and nice and everything you wanted him to be. Too bad you were breaking both your hearts, you think. No Pedro was fine you assumed, just helping out a friend.

When you got back to your apartment you found two grey plastic grocery bags filled with Gatorade, semi-healthy snacks, and Tylenol you assumed. On the bag was a neon yellow sticky note ‘I hope I got you everything you needed. I’ll see you in a few days : ) – Pedro’ it read. You smiled softly to yourself and picked up the bags, ready for the lonely week ahead.

Thursday you were in the worst pain of your life, it was like that scene if Ferris Beuller’s Day Off when Cameron was in bed telling Ferris that he was dying, unable to move. That was you, 80s music and all as you laid hopelessly in your bed, surrounded by clear bottles of Gatorade and snacks that Pedro provided. Pedro himself was only adding to your pain, his constant texts asking how you were and trying to make you feel somewhat better was backfiring, you still felt terrible about the dance class. In the evening Pedro would knock on your door, leaving your mail in front of the doorstep.  Too bad you couldn’t move to get it.

Friday you were able to accomplish getting out of bed and slowly moving around your apartment. You were leaning on your kitchen counter, chicken noodle soup near boil in a silver pot in front of you. You checked the clock on your microwave ‘4:58’ it read in glowing blue letters, Pedro would be leaving at any moment. That is if he was really going of course.

He was, the door to his apartment closed loudly and a light giggle rang through the walls. You stood stiff, that was a female voice. You rushed to grab a medical mask in the living room, tugging on your gray oversized sweater and a good excuse in your mind.

Your door opened in a rush and you stood in the hallway, the speed of everything got Pedro and the woman’s attention. God she was beautiful, tall and bronzed with silky long black hair, if they needed a new Miss Universe it would’ve been her. She was your foil, you were there in sweatpants and your hair greasy hair pulled up into a high bun, a blue medical mask covering your frown but they couldn’t conceal your dark bags. “Y/n,” Pedro speaks cautiously like a man in a relationship getting caught with another woman. The tall skyscraper of a woman scans you up and down disapprovingly and you didn’t miss her taking a step back when you coughed. “This is Katerina. Kat this is Y/n.”

“Hi,” she sighs, and you simply wave at her before crossing your arms over your chest defensively. Katerina, you hated the way he said her name with that accent of his. Your heart was shattered, would rather dance with her. Your mind quickly flashed to him leaning in to kiss her while they danced, their bodies pressed together.

“What are you doing outside?” he asks you with concern.

You bit your quivering lower lip and replied in a faltering tone “I just came to get my mail.”

Pedro’s dark brown eyes look at you sympathetically “Do you need it right now?”

The tears started to form in your eyes, she probably thought you were ridden with disease “N-no.”

“Please go rest, I promise to bring it to you tonight,” he pleads.

“Pedro we need to go, the Uber’s out front,” Katerina interjects.

You didn’t say anything as he offers a guilty smile before walking off with her. Once their figures disappear down the hall you take in a sharp breath, tears falling down your cheeks. Why did you have to get sick? Why did it have to be contagious? Why did he choose her? You were so angry and jealous and it going to the window in your bedroom to watch him help her into the Uber fueled the angry green fire in your soul.

Later that night you sat on your couch brooding, that night’s rerun of Entertainment Tonight providing background noise as you angrily flipped through Vogue. Pedro would be back any moment, and you were just waiting to hear Katerina’s obnoxious giggles. Soon enough Pedro’s front door opened and shut, no exchanges of words or laughter could be heard. Maybe he did come home alone and you were worrying for nothing.

Music started to play from the apartment next to you, the 50s song you recognized from your father's collection and that one all the kids were into these days. Why was he playing it this loud? You could hear Paul Anka’s voice over Kevin Frasiers on the tv, the bass gently thumping the wall behind you.

Your phone started to ring, Pedro’s name and goofy face popped up “Pedro you’re going to have to pay another fine if you keep it this loud,” you say playfully as you answer it.

“How are you feeling?” He asks lowly.

“Better.”

“Good, stand up,” he instructs.

“W-why?”

“Do his for me Y/N, please,” he sighs.

You shrug and oblige, putting your magazine to the side and standing up in the middle of your apartment “Now what?” you inquire.

“Can you hear the music?”

“How can I not… I’m sorry, yes, yes I can,” you laugh.

“Good, now close your eyes and imagine I’m with you…we’re dancing,” he tells you and you do what he says. You smile and start slowly swaying to the song “I really wish you were with me tonight.”

“You didn’t like what’s her name as a partner?”

Pedro chuckles and closes his eyes “No she was fine. I just wish it was you… my first choice.”

“First choice?” you question.

“You’re always my first choice, Y/N.”

‘put your head on my shoulder’ you cock your head to the side and imagine your putting your head in the crook of his neck, the smell of his cologne bringing a sense of comfort. “I didn’t mean to get sick,” you confess.

“I know, I know… I’m not upset at you or anything. I just had bigger plans for this evening,” he admits, a pink tint rising to his cheeks.

“Which are?” you hum.

“I wanted to tell you that I liked you. More than a friend.” Your eyes open and you snap out of the fantasy, your heart ready to burst from your chest.

“Pedro,” you breathed, wishing he could see the blissful smile. “I’ve liked you since you moved in.”

There’s a silence on both ends, the romantic song filling the void but soon he speaks “Once your better you’ll dance with me?” he wonders.

“I promise,” you say, and the fatigue sets in, “I-I’m getting tired, I did too much today”

Pedro hums in contentment “Go to sleep, I’ll bring your mail and slide it under the door. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Pedro,” you whisper. As you hang up the song ends, your eyes look at the wall that divided your apartments and smiled all the way to your bed.

[toshis-puppycat]

Unfortunately, I Think I Love You Too Part Four

A/n: So, uh angst happened last chapter lol I'm sorry about that. But y'all liked it so its okay. Some fluffyness will be coming soon! Also big thanks to @onyxiana-is-obsessed for letting me use a name in this!! You're the best for that truly. And I'm very sorry it took me a while to update things happened and I got stressed, but it should be all good now! Thank yall for being patient with me!

Summary: Hawks doesn't know what to do, you're semi avoiding him now and that's very difficult because you're literally trapped in the same house and you know for a fact you have no food available. Shopping with Hawks is okay at least. Too bad that gets interrupted. 

Part Four

You tried not to think about what he said. "If...if you ever need it. I'm here for you." 

It was awkward, uncomfortable. You didn't like it. Unfortunately, you noticed you had like, absolutely no real food to consume. You had to make a trip to the store. And you had to do it with Hawks.

"Hey, birdbrain. We need to go to the store." You said, walking into your living room. Ignore it. He shot you a look.

"Is that really safe to do right now?" He asked.

"You want food?" You ask, he nods in response. "Then get ready." He gives an apprehensive look, it's an odd on him. He's usually so confident and sure about his movements. You quickly got ready, and left the house together straight to the store. First, your assorted fruits, then your vegetables and now the protein and other assorted foods. First choice from Hawks was chicken, of any type (mainly asking you to make fried chicken the goddamn weird bird), apparently the discussion between you two earlier is finally being pushed aside for the time being. You hoped it'd never be brought up again. You didn't want to acknowledge it, you didn't want to remember the terror you'd feel every time you fell asleep. You shook the thoughts off, checking the assorted meats. You could make some tacos or something tonight, maybe some stew. You felt a hand at your lower back in that moment. Ah, Hawks finally came back-

"I do hope you don't think that having him nearby will keep you safe." They said, and you felt yourself stiffen, eyes widening in shock as you subtly tried looking around. Hawks wasn't near you at all and you knew this person. "It was quite easy to lead him away. Money gets people to do things, my dear." They continued.

"Toxin." You said, you tried your best not to move around. You remembered his quirk all too well.

"Awe the little one does remember." Toxin teased, you could practically feel his smile. "I'm sure you understand why we're doing this sweetheart." He purred. "Betraying us the way you did back then left a lot of scars for us. Me especially, you were my future y/n." 

"That was not a life for any child to experience. Being offered to you should have never been an option." You hissed.

He tisked at you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. "Ah y/n. I wouldn't be so snappy if I were you. After all you are alone right now." He smirked, then kissed your temple. "It was nice to see you y/n, but I should be going now. That bird is coming back." He said, you didn't let yourself relax with him saying that though. He grabbed a strand of your hair, and lightly tugged it and sighed. "I'll be seeing you again soon though, sweetheart." And with that he left you, you couldn't move, your body felt numb and you couldn't breath. Then there were hands at your shoulders. Oh God were they back already? You couldn't do this you had to run-

"Kid!" Hawks exclaimed. "Take deep breaths, alright?" He pulled you into his arms at that. You snapped out of it at that point, gently shoving him away. You freaking out would have caught some attention, you couldn't just push him away.

"I'm fine. Let's just pay and get out of here." You said, you tried keeping your voice steady but he could hear the quiver, and basically feel your erratic heartbeat. You were right, you both had to leave. Him before a fan would try to ask him to sign something and you before you started to panic again. You quickly paid for your items and left. Your heartbeat didn't slow until the both of you were safely in your home. 

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

He usually knew what to do in situations where civilians were scared. But there was a catch for this time. You weren't a civilian, you were… you were a hero. A hero whos childhood was somewhat shrouded in mystery for him. The commission didn't give him anything more pertaining to your case. The only information that they had was that you were saved, and then you didn't join any hero work at all. But that was a lie. He knew it at this point that you were are a hero. Something he didn't tell the hero commission because he knew it'd hurt you. It took months of bugging attempting to get to know you and be somewhat close enough to talk outside of your hero duties. Which didn't happen the way he wanted. You were intriguing, ever since he first met you at that charity event. You also weren't really known, any information was shrouded in mystery, nothing was confirmed about you. Well one part for him was confirmed now, you were gorgeous. He always had that theory after he met you and you were soft. He remembered when you had hugged him close when you were undercover with him, you felt right in his arms. He wanted to help you. But he had to understand you. So when you forced yourself to cook dinner, he didn't argue because you would shield yourself away. Even though he was feeling a tiny bit desperate to know, he kept it to himself. And when you finally turned in for the night he made a decision that would go past this assignment. He would protect you, no matter what. Starting with not calling you "sweetheart". It was a cute pet name to you but well, hearing that villain, Toxin, call you that just… it made your annoyed reactions make more sense. Especially when he had first done it. You were more neutral when you two first spoke, but the moment he uttered that pet name you ended up annoyed with him. That ended up becoming the relationship you two had now, you annoyed with him and him slightly desperate for your attention. But now, right now you were someone he had to protect more, a victim of a criminal organization. He looked over at your bedroom door, your home was soundproof, no one would be able to hear you inside, and considering what he heard earlier it made sense. He walked over to the door, not opening it just waiting, hearing you toss and turn attempting to get comfortable. He leaned against the wall nearby, he really wished you'd trust him. 

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

Having Hawks stay at your home leaves mixed feelings for you. It made you relieved but at the same time on edge. Glad someone who knew about your hero life but also left you paralyzed with fear. Heros saved people, heros were strong. This… this was you being weak. You were acting like the scared child All Might saved. You were still terrified of them. Your childhood was a horror show. The amount of times you saw people killed just for existing, being there at the "wrong time" (which was all the time the damned liars), the fact that they would force you to watch them kill innocent people and laugh about you cowering away. It was no wonder you were grateful for All Might saving you, it was why you wanted to be a hero. Saving the people who weren't always seen. You pointed out Chisaki Kai to Nighteye, he looked more into it and decided it was a case he'd investigate with a few other agencies. That little girl with them, she needed to be saved. It was why you told him about what you'd noticed in the first place. You didn't want to be known however. Too many people were wary about those related to villains, all you wanted to save people. And you were. But now… now it was coming back. Now you had to rely on heros to protect you. You hated it. You didn't want to rely on anyone, you just wanted that chapter of your life closed. You felt a terrible headache coming on then heard something shuffle outside of your door. Did this… did this dumbass not see the spare bedroom? You sighed, and got up. Quickly moving to open your door as you saw something move in the corner of your eye outside of your bedroom window. You tensed, you forgot that they were watching you. God it was probably why Toxin fucking talked to you! You probably threw them in for a loop having Hawks at your home thankfully. You opened the door, finding Hawks leaning against the wall nearby, and quickly threw yourself into his arms and tucked your head under his chin, he froze at the sudden contact. "M'sorry I panicked like that earlier and pushed you away." You said, it was muffled. He was still kinda frozen but you felt his arms slowly wrap around your middle. 

"Ah, its okay kid. Are you feeling a little better?" He asked, this was so different from the Hawks you were used to, unsure of what to do almost shy like, you shook your head in response to his question before you forgot to.

"Not really, but I didn't wanna shut you out." You whispered, forcing yourself to relax in his arms. Liar. A voice whispered in your head. You're a liar and a coward. Its good they came back to get rid of you. You deserve it. 

"Hey come on kid, I'm not heartless. Why would I leave my little songbird alone when she needs me?" He said, and wow did those pet names stick out as a "long term" thing they thought you had. You felt yourself flush. He was almost being… cute. He kissed your temple and led you back to your living room. Sitting on the couch before pulling you into his lap, one hand moving to steady your waist as you attempted to get comfortable, both legs thrown over his. "I'm not going anywhere songbird." Thank god he seemed to have gotten the hint, you thought as you saw a single feather subtly fly behind him and under the front door. You two sat there for what seemed like forever, he was holding you, he moved the hand at your waist and threw it around both of your shoulders and the other cupping your cheek as you laid in his arms. It was… nice. It felt right, like nothing was wrong. All the negative thoughts that were swirling in your head a moment ago vanished the moment he properly held you, your body felt at ease for the first time in years, you were exhausted. You didn't notice the tension in his shoulders leaving as you found yourself relaxing in his arms, didn't hear the fast beating of his heart as your eyes started drooping, and finally you slumped against him. Damn, you didn't know you were that touch starved. You slightly turned your face into his neck and relaxed even more, one hand coming up to his shoulder and loosely gripping at the material of his coat, before settling again. It was like you completely forgot why you came out in the first place, which you did for sure. You never knew Hawks could be so comfortable to lay on.

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

Hawks was relishing in the fact you relaxed against him so easily, but there was that twinge of worry. How long have you not been sleeping well if you went lax from the bare minimum of touches (affection?) from another person? You were a private person, he knew that. It was obvious from the way you kicked him out earlier that day, to when you immediately left for your room after you two ate. But here you were, basically cuddling with him. He'd take you back to you room, but when he got up you just clutched at his coat tighter and tensed. You didn't settle until he was just holding you again. Well fuck.

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

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[moonbelt]

»the moon, the sun

↳ ex-best-friends to lovers au | college athletes au

pairing » jeon jungkook | reader

genre » big angst + fluff + sexual themes

word count » 11.770

» there’s not a single thing you like about jungkook. no. not his jokes or his thinly veiled overwatch obsession or his supreme swimmers body. absolutely nothing. there is, however, a multitude of things you hate. wait, sorry that was rude, vehemently despise is better. 

 » mutual pining that could've been resolved if either of them exercised some basic communication skills lol, mild coarse language, lots of angst, cocky jjk but also crack jjk??, gamer memes, poufy haired jjk, also supposed hate-love relationship. 

YOU ARRIVE AT THE SWIM CENTER WITH A THROB in your knee and a resounding ache in your head. It felt like your brain was about to explode into a thousand gory pieces as you pushed open the wide frost-tinted glass double doors that led to the locker rooms.

Now that would have been a great start to a low-budget horror flick. You could just picture it, a lonesome girl? No… Woman? At twenty, you weren’t sure if you still qualified as a girl but the term woman felt too formal, too stifling, too mature to be attributed to you. But whatever, that was semantics you could spare for another day.

So, there you’d be; creeping into a university swim center at the ass-crack of dawn and then bam! Your brain impedes on itself. Maybe it’s because of some mutant phenomenal viral disease, maybe it’s repercussions from tempering with a portal to the paranormal realm that only exists in semi-open pool arenas. Whatever it was, it would have to be epic and a far cry from the truth. Which was, you were used to indescribable, continuous pain. It came with the territory of being an athlete. If you didn’t wake up in the morning with some part of your body feeling uncomfortably off then that just meant you didn’t try as hard the day before. Or at the very least, that’s what you told yourself to keep going.

Yawning, you punched in your locker code and began the mental and physical process of getting ready for the next three hours of practice before break. You usually where the first one in the building and the last one to leave if you didn’t have classes or work.

Swimming made you feel good, made you feel like there was something special about yourself. It didn’t help that the more you practiced, the more you were able to outpace everyone else. Practice birthed results and your stubbornness, wait no, competitiveness was off the charts. So, of course, you wanted to dominate every single athlete in your division.

Still though, waking up at four in the morning had to be the singular dumbest thought you’d ever conceived.

Once you were suited up, you padded back into the arena that held the huge industrial sized swim pool. The overpowering smell of chlorine and humid air made you feel more at home than the dormitory you’d just left less than thirty minutes ago. You honestly might’ve started crying right then and there at the sight of the crystal clear water and the humongous life-sized painting of an unknown swimmer in the midst of a beautiful breaststroke at the center of it all.

Today was after all the first day of the semester. Your collegiate swimming career was finally back on. Your lips twinged at the sight of the polished, tiled floor and how it felt cool under the soles of your feet.

You’d gone back home for winter break and although you’d kept up with the training regime your coach had persistently emailed out, there was just something fundamentally different about being back on your own turf. In fact, you were fairly sure a few tears slipped past your barriers and hooked at the corners of your eyes at the thought. Only to be blasted into near oblivion by the sound of a phone camera going snap snap.

You whipped your head to the direction of the camera like a person possessed. “What the fuck?”

“Oh, My Zelda. This is glorious.” The goddamn stalker, wait he wasn’t a stalker if he was a member of the swim team. Right, the goddamn fiend had the guts and audacity to say with an open-mouthed grin marring his face. “You’re actually crying. There are literally tears in your eyes. I can see ‘em.”

“Screw off, Jeon.”

Him. The only other person dumb enough to be at the swimming center at five am. A full hour before the scheduled practice time. God, how long had he been watching you? And to think he even had time to whip out his phone and document this moment. You were never gonna live it down, that was for sure. You? Crying? Over – you took a grand look around your surroundings – water?

“It was only three weeks, you know. You wouldn’t die if you didn’t swim for a month or two.” He still found the whole scenario funny, if the laughter in his voice was any indication.

“Coming from someone that I doubt showers even once every three days? Yeah, I’ll pass on that lecture.”

“Ooh, a solid burn from the Ice Queen,” he clutched a hand to his chest like he’d been shot with a bazooka or something. Dramatic. “That one hurts my ego immensely.”

You snorted. It was debatable if anything could seriously damage Jeon Jungkook’s ego. That shit was built with solid uranium. No matter how you tried to smash it. He was his own number one supporter and he’d built himself up in his head that he was the greatest at whatever he laid his hands on. At that moment, however, you wanted to snatch the iPhone out of those deft hands of his and dig a well through his head with it. Couldn’t he go be great somewhere else?

Instead of replying and subsequently dragging out this conversation longer than necessary, you busied yourself with adjusting your swim cap and bringing your goggles to rest on the bridge of your nose.

It didn’t matter that Jungkook was here. It didn’t bother you one bit. It’s not like it was abnormal. You’d known him longer than you’d known anybody so of course you were used to his presence. Although you didn’t particularly like the fact that you’d known him almost your whole life. Or the fact that your body prickled with awareness every time he stepped into the nearest vicinity. You couldn’t control that. What you could control though, was how you felt about it.

And right now, you hated him. Wait, no hate was too strong a word, perhaps vehemently despise was more fitting.

You make your way to lane five, take a deep breath to calm your nerves and then dunk yourself into the ice cold water. Better to get it over with than squirm around the edges with him around. For Zelda’s sake, he has his phone camera on standby!

Yeah okay, you didn’t hate Jeon Jungkook; the son of a family friend that lived on the other side of the cul de sac. Instead, you vehemently despised the boy that was a walking, talking human critic. You bite your lip ferociously in a bid to punish the thought of Jungkook out of your mind. After a second or maybe three, you push into the water.

“Your shoulders look tense from up here... you’re so not gonna perform well if you don’t stretch that baby out.”

That’s the first thing you hear other than the rushing of water leaving your ears as your face breaks out against the surface of the pool. You jerk your goggles off your eyes, look up and scowl at him. Mr. I-Should-Basically-Be-A-Coach-With-All-These-Pointers-I-Give.

“I am not tense.”

“Yeah, no. You don’t have to lie about that. I could legit see your muscles almost cramping up down there.”

“Are you really going to stand up there and pretend we have some kind of mentor-mentee relationship going on? Seriously? It’s five in the morning, Jeon.”

You could clearly see the wheels in his head turning and then zeroing in on the one word you shouldn’t have said. Relationship. Gah, you need a chastity belt for your lips. His eyes basically sparkle with rays of mischief and a dash of mastered superiority. “Well, I am seven months older, so when you think about it that way it’s only natural that I take you under my wing and —”

“I swear to you, I will physically break your knee caps —”

“Wait,” he looks genuinely confused, perfect lips pouting. “What do you mean by physically? Is there any other way to break a knee?”

Ugh! You stare at him and he stares right back, cocking his head to the side like he can do this all day. You want to scream, hell maybe even shapeshift into a fucking banshee and scream the roof off this building.

And then his mouth curves into a roguish smirk. The type he reveals when he manages to squeak by a better time than you or like that one time (okay maybe five?) that he got randomly stopped by some modeling agency recruiter when your parents had forced the two of you to carpool to swim meets back when you were a tad younger and he was the only one with a car. The smirk that just screams ‘I’m getting under your skin, aren’t I? And dude, it feels fan-fucking-tastic.’

“Get a life, Jeon. Or better yet, get in the water. It’s only been three weeks, no way you suck even worse than usual after that. I mean, by fuck, it hasn’t even been a month!” You twist his words back at him and then feel proud about it. So what, you are competitive and you hold grudges. There could be worse things.

His smirk deepened and okay, you won’t lie to yourself. He is attractive. Critically so. It would be hard not to notice that. It’s a continual and conscious effort to even attempt to un-notice it. But still, moments like these when the fluorescent lights beamed on his face at just the right angle and the shadows cut across his features and illuminated his golden skin to the heavens, boosting his overall aura like he was some sort of reincarnated god of beauty. Or worse, a Final Boss that you had to most certainly defeat. It became increasingly hard not to notice how much he affected you and your breathing.

Yeah, it’s in these moments that your better judgement faults and for a split second you are transported to that one November night in the middle of eleventh grade when fuck no! Absolutely not! You refuse to walk that horrendous trip down memory lane and relive one of the most humiliating, and this is coming from a girl that threw up because of nerves in front of judges at a talent show, experiences of your life. This was not the time.

“Your shoulders are still stiff as a board. Tell me, child, have you gotten laid recently?”

You let out the most frustrated sound of agony you could muster. You’re going to murder him. Forget you being the star in some crazy horror film, you were going to be the director. And you were gonna serve up a mean case of Deck Jungkook’s Ass With Supernatural Intervention as the main course. Maybe you’d win an Oscar for it. Heck, maybe you’d get a home run and even win Best Picture.

He chuckles like he’s cracked the greatest joke since Netflix Original Films. You’re too busy orchestrating a slugfest in your head to really pay attention. “I’ll take that as a negative.”

You barely manage to spit out a dignified response. “One of these days I’m going to seriously maim you.”

“Tsk tsk, you and your threatening bodily harm tendencies. I wonder if that’s like a kink thing?” He asks as he taps his chin with his forefinger and squats down to a level that is closer to you. His dark brown hair that looks almost a shade of black sways like a river to his beat. This is much better, it hurt your neck staring up at him like he was some guardian deity.

But the action happens to highlight the ridiculous tightening of his abs. The abs you’ve painstakingly not ogled at because they are sculpted beauties. Hell, you’ve yet to meet a swimmer's body that isn’t the epitome of fitness but Jungkook’s is different. He is carved. Probably why you don’t like looking at it, stare too much and he might notice and of course, you wouldn’t want that happening.

“Jeon?”

“Hmm?” He sounds so innocent. The liar.

“Shut up before I drown you. I don’t care how long you can hold your breath. I will send you down to hell personally.”

He wiggled his eyebrows like the concept of hell was all he’d ever wanted to discuss in life. “Does that mean you’d be coming with? Fascinating. Let’s make a road trip out of it. Maybe you’ll even find some demons down to fuck all that tension out of your body. You know, DDTF. Get your exophilia on, if that’s your thing.”

Exo-what?

Beat. He’s beaten you at your own game. How the heck are you supposed to reply something snarky when all he ever does is blow the thing to epic proportions and have you running in circles. This is why the best strategy was just to simply ignore him.

You shoot him one last look that you hope is as menacing as it ought to be. You yank your goggles from resting on your forehead and dunk them in the water to get the fog out. Placing it back gingerly across your eyes, you let take in a soothing breath.

“I am serene. I am calm. There is nothing around me in existence that bothers me. I am the pinnacle of collected.” You refrain from adding tense-free.

There’s no way you’re tense after running the three and a half miles between your dorm and the swim center. You repeat the words aloud twice before you actually believe them. And then you tear back into the water. You still have roughly thirty minutes before the rest of the team comes in for practice. You’ll be damned spending all your time talking to the fool with shaggy hair and a crooked smile that made you want to burn something.

The only sound other than the whoosh in your ears and the rapid pumping of your heart as you exert yourself is the uncanny, blistering laughter of Jeon Jungkook. At least someone was enjoying your torment.

You swore at that moment that you were going to deck him someday. Even if it was the last thing you ever did. Maybe not even physically, gah, but you were going to get a time so fast, so unbelievably better that Jungkook would be dumbstruck in awe and lagging to catch up. You grin at the thought.

   By the time practice comes to an end, your knee has migrated from a troublesome ache to a colossal titan. Dragging your body out of the water proves to be much a greater task that you previously took for granted. You try and fail to hold back your groans as you attempt to not limp back to the locker rooms and take a shower. Also, you need a painkiller stat.

The coach is too busy being circled by the hyena pack that is freshmen to really pay any attention to you. However, you know better than to think you’ve slipped past his radar. He’s definitely going to catch you sometime later to rim your ass for going too hard the first day of the semester. You guess that makes him a great coach in the grand scheme of things but you’d rather he let you be.

“Your knee acting up again?” Your lane buddy and a veteran senior in the program, Seokjin asks as he saddles up next to you and rips the navy blue swim cap off his head. You fear a little bit for his hair. “I thought doc cleared it?”

You sigh, not really wanting to remember last year when the university-affiliated doctor told you that you needed to take three months off swimming to heal and you’d barely lasted two weeks without going insane. You shiver at the horror of it all as you wrap your Legend of Zelda limited edition Link towel around your dripping body.

“Yeah, he did.” You send him a smile that comes off like a wince and then you give up on trying to downplay the pain altogether. “Guess it’s just not doing so hot today.”

Seokjin nods solemnly like he understands. “Some days are worse than others. I get that.”

“It be like that. I’ll be fine.”

“Do you think you’d be set for March though? Coach’s probably going to start analyzing his final picks for the comp.”

Ugh, Goddess of the Sea take me now! The National Collegiate Swim Competition is an annual event held every March and even though you’d made the cut as a naïve freshman, a knee injury caused you to be sidelined in your second year. But now though, you have to get on the final lineup. An absolute must.

Your cold heart won’t take it to be on the stands watching your teammates accomplish something you dreamed of. Something you’d worked and sacrificed so much for. You won’t stand to watch Jungkook rub it in your face how he’d come in a mere 0.6 seconds away from the first position. And you definitely won’t stand to have another year put on hold when your dream is literally right in front of you.

You bite out a laugh that sounds foreign even to your own ears. God, your knee is killing you. “You know what they say about pain.”

Seokjin gives you a quizzical look. Like he, in fact, has no idea what you mean. And you’re about to launch into a tirade about exercise mottos when you feel a tall presence step up behind you. You don’t even have to turn around to know it’s him. Of course, it’s him. Who else would encroach in on your personal space without a second thought?

“She means she’s gonna push through her limping and her tense as fuck shoulders and pull a win out of her ass. Don’t you,” the way he says your name is so patronizing, so unbelievably condescending that you whip your head up to glare at him.

“That’s impossible. If anyone knows how to take care of their body and not push their limits to insanity it’s Y/N.” Seokjin appears appalled that Jungkook would even think of such a thing. But Jungkook knows you better than anyone, albeit hatefully.

“Mm-hm. You doubt how crazy obsessed she is with winning.”

“Says you,” you spit out but it lacks your usual snark.

In truth, maybe Jungkook was right about your shoulders not being as stretched out as they should’ve been. They feel sore and they almost gave out on you during a lap. You were basically running on guts and mental fortitude for the last four laps. But you’d rather swallow butcher knives than admit that aloud for his ears to hear.

Seokjin is oblivious to the simmering tension between the two of you. Instead, he turns to you with so much concern sweeping through his posture it makes you uncomfortable and yet happy at the same time. “Take care of yourself, Y/N. There’s no point in winning if your body crashes on you, yeah?”

You know he means well and it’s not like you like lying to your senior but you know he just won’t get where you’re coming from. “Yeah,” you stare down at the suddenly interesting aqua-tiled floor.

He pats your shoulder once before he turns down the other way to the male locker rooms leaving you and Jungkook alone. You’re about to go on your own merry way — agonizingly slow of course, when a hand latches to your upper arm and stops you.

You swear you shouldn’t feel anything but your skin almost scorches at the contact. Your brain is divided: a part of you wants him to never let go, while the other half can’t get away from him fast enough. You don’t breathe, heck you don’t even move.

“Winning isn’t everything.”

You don’t mean to — truly, you don’t — but a scoff slips out of your lips before you even register it. “Coming from the golden boy that basically has a clear shot at making the lineup? Yeah, I won’t drink to that anytime soon.”

Jungkook uses his free hand to run through his hair like a maniac. And you entertain the idea that perhaps you really do get under his skin as much as he does you. The thought elates you and dilutes the throbbing in your knee to a lesser degree. He’s your biggest tormentor and you can only dream to be the same thing for him. Equivalent exchange and all that jazz.

He clicks his tongue at you and somehow that infuriates you even more. “You know what? Do whatever you want. Ruin your body for all I care.” He lets go of your arm like it’d be painful to hold it any longer. He pulls at the towel he has around his shoulders so hard that even you feel the burn and then he drapes it over his head, effectively blocking you out.

A forgotten part of you wonders why he’s so concerned about your body anyway. It’s not like he should care at all.

The two of you aren’t friends. Once upon a time that wasn’t the case but you aren’t one to cry over spilled milk much less bemoan over it. But it still rubs you some kind of way that Jungkook thinks it’s normal to voice his concern to you. The two of you are not close like that. At least, not anymore.

You scowl to yourself as you weave your way back to the locker room. You’re not much of a talker but you wave back at a few of the girls that bother to look your way. And spend a good ten minutes talking to a freshman about how she needs to stop holding her breath for long periods because all that does is make you dizzy and liable to pass out. After all that, it’s no wonder that you’re the last one out of the showers.

Tugging your baby blue beanie tight across your forehead, you curse yourself for forgetting to pack your knee brace when you left your dorm this morning. But whatever, you’ll push through it. You always do.

What you’re not expecting is to see a lithe body resting on the bench right outside the swim center.  And it strikes you as odd that you immediately know in your gut that it’s Jungkook. Even though you’re too chicken now to admit it, there was a time when you’d engraved his whole body into your mind like he was a science project you were desperately in need of completing. Although his body has since gained more muscle mass and reduced way more body fat, it’s still him. No matter how hard you try to burn him out of your memory, he never leaves. You fear your only remedy might be self-induced amnesia.

What you’re not expecting is for that body clad snugly in black sweatpants, a really oversized navy sweatshirt that has ‘I AM NOT GONNA BE MERCY’ branded in fine print across his chest, and a beanie that suspiciously matches the one on your own head, to turn up and catch your gaze like he knows you’ve been staring.

You blink once and then twice and then once more just to be sure. Weird. You have no idea why he’s waiting out here and you’re even more confused as to why he owns a beanie that looks way too much like yours to be a coincidence. You shift your gaze to the sidewalk, debating if it’s worth it to strike a conversation with him. All it will do is leave you irritated, so you decide to continue to your dorm instead. Screw him and whatever he’s out in this cold as shit weather for.

“What? You’re just gonna ignore me now?”

Huffing, you pretend he’s not matching his strides to your sluggish pace.

“This is cold, even for you.”

Maybe if you keep quiet he’ll think you’ve gone magically inept in the span of forty minutes?

“You know I thought I was doing a good thing by waiting for you.”

That gets you to break your mental battle. “I didn’t ask you to do that, Jeon.”

“I know that. But what if you slid across the pavement and went straight to the dimension of hell? I have to be there for that.” He sounds genuinely invested in the matter at hand.

“I can still walk perfectly fine, thank you very much.” You almost smack your head dead against the stoned ground when your foot snags a loose edge of the sidewalk. Fuck.

“Pfft.” He’s barely holding in his laughter but you don’t cower. Har-dee-har-har. You don’t need him breathing down your neck thinking he’s doing you a favor or anything.

You don’t need pity parties hosted by Jeon Jungkook. Not again. Not after that one night that you thought was perfect and monumental when in reality all it really was a blip in his radar. You’re nothing special, or at least Jungkook thought so. It’s been years since then but that’s the funny thing about pain. It doesn’t just die down because you refuse to think about it. It simmers, it boils, it festers. Pain is a living, breathing monster and simply because you don’t devote time to it doesn’t mean it’s not taking up space under your bed.

But you are not going to think about it. Because you are definitely over it. Yep. That was it. You are over your ex-best friend and you are happy... Bah, what-fucking-ever.

Maybe he realizes that you’re not in the mood for the snark he would normally throw your way because the walk back to your dorm is relatively quiet after that. This is the most civil the two of you have been in a long while. Most of times the both of you are too busy making jabs at each other. But you’d noticed that ever since your accident last year that busted your knee, he’s been different.

You’ve yet to decide if that difference is for good or bad but it doesn’t matter because you’re back at your dormitory which means you get to sleep the rest of the day before work. Yes, maybe there is a God.

“Look, take care of yourself, okay?”

You stop on the stone steps to take him in. His hands stuffed deep in his pockets, the January chill making the tip of his nose bright red but his eyes don’t hold the same mischievous fight as before. He’s determined. You know him well enough to know that.

“I’m not going to die climbing up some stupid stairs.”

He shakes his head. Guess he’s not up for jokes then. “I mean it,” he breathes your name out with so much seriousness it stuns you. “You can be cruel to me. You can be angry at me. But don’t take it out on your body. Just... don’t.”

What does he know about cruelty? He knows not jack shit about cruelty. Cruelty was a seventeen-year-old girl waxing poetic love to a boy that she thought hung the moon, the stars and the sun only for him to trample over it just because. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the timing, maybe it was every fucking thing in between but that night had been a changing point. Horror movies weren’t half as scary as being rejected by your best friend since before you were five and not know why. Cruelty was not whatever this limbo you and Jungkook had. You’d experienced cruelty and that was far worse.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do. Not then and certainly not now.”

Pushing your body to its limits is something you have to do. Getting better at swimming is something you would die trying to attain. Not because you particularly love swimming all that much but rather because it’s the one thing, the only thing that you really do believe you can beat Jungkook in. The only thing you can compete with him and with hard work win. You have to win. You can’t stand being second place next to him. It makes you want to gag. It makes you revert back to that seventeen-year-old girl you thought you’d killed off in your origin story.

Pathetic, you think to yourself. But you won’t stop because you’ve already come so far.

You rush up the stairs and into the dorm like lightning. You’re so quick that you don’t even feel any twinge of pain ricocheting from your knee or anywhere else to be honest. You’re a running painkiller. You haul ass all the way to your room and it’s only when you’ve locked the door and released the longest sigh of your whole adult life that it hits you.

And here’s another thing about pain: it always comes rushing back.

If it’s even possible, over the next few weeks your knee becomes even worse of a problem. Waking up in the morning becomes more of a drag than usual, you can barely walk to your classes much less the swim center without your brace on and then perform a Mission Impossible skit so that the rest of the team doesn’t see the brace dangling in your locker. You’re seriously considering ripping the whole joint out. For Zelda’s sake, it has to hurt significantly less, right?

To make matters worse you’re basically lying out of your ass to Seokjin and the rest of the team that your knee is not bothering you one bit. You’re such a liar, someone needs to lock you up for it. But it’s already the end of February and you can already taste the end of it all. All you need to do is hold on by the skin of your teeth for the next couple of days and then you’ll be free. Sure, rationally you know you’re not swimming your best right now but that does nothing to deter you from what you’ve set your mind on.

“Hey, Y/N,” the voice of the Student Assistant, Namjoon stops you in your attempt to blend in with the other swim members exiting the building after a rather rough day. “You came in later than usual today. Something up?”

Namjoon is an amazing guy. Attentive but not too overbearing. A great listener but he doesn’t go overboard with trying to get you to confess your deep, darkest fears to him. But even with knowing all of this, you still don’t want to tell him a thing. You know he’ll understand, that’s not the problem. The problem is, he would seriously blow it out of proportion. All you want to do is head home, nap for a good hour or three and then head to your afternoon class and get back to crashing. Was that too much to ask?

“Yeah, I’m great. Just a little tired.”

He raises an eyebrow at you, flipping through the sheet on his clipboard. “Hmm, your times been dropping since last week. You sure everything’s fine?”

Fuck. You fumble thinking of an answer, your eyes skittering around the tiled floor till you look up and lock on Jungkook staring right back. He’s a few feet away near the front door discussing with one of the assistant coaches but for some reason, his big, brown eyes are glued to your frame. An inane section of your brain wants to beg him to come over and rescue you from lying so horribly to Namjoon. While another insane part of you wants to sneer at him and tell him to stop freaking looking at you when you’re at your worst.

“I... uh,” you stutter and return your attention back to the kind senior in front of you. “I’m fine. I promise.”

Namjoon cocks an eyebrow at you, disbelieving. “Is it your knee? We could get the team doctor — ”

Your eyes widen in alarm and you stumble away from him, your thoughts passing the point of loudness and encroaching into deafness. No way. There’s no way you’re going to let him bring up your injury and then take it up with the other coaches because you know — deep in your bones — that if he does that you won’t make the cut for the lineup talk less of being able to just attend practice. You’d be kept on the side like an invalid.

Hate.

You hate it. Your stupid knee, the stupid way you were running late to practice almost a full year ago and then proceeded to fall down a flight of stairs and dislocate your knee so bad that when the seasons shift from sunny to cloudy, your knee throbs like an ingrained weather alert.

You hate how much the pain makes you want to cry. You hate yourself for pushing yourself, even more, when you know you shouldn’t. You hate how everyone is so damn concerned about you like you somehow deserve it. You hate that you don’t deserve their kindness, not when every other athlete next to you is getting better and better by the second and you don’t want to be left behind.

“Bro, she’ll be fine.” You don’t realize your savior and yet tormentor has weaseled his way into the conversation until you you hear the soft timbre of his voice. He stands so close to you that you smell the sweet scent of vanilla from his clothes. “I mean, look at her. Her technique is still kicking ass, no one can touch her when it comes to form.”

Lips wobbling a little under the pressure of your teeth, you peer up at him. Your mind running a mile a minute trying to place what his endgame is. Why is he here? What does he think he’s doing?

Namjoon laughs, his features becoming even more stunning with the action and you glance away from Jungkook. There’s no way he bought that blatant form of flattery. “That is true. Y/N has the best technique in the program right now. Probably best in the state.”

Lies. You know there’s talk about some super senior at a neighboring powerhouse school being the best in your division. But your mind is clogged up with your loud thoughts that you don’t say anything to refute his claim.

“Anyways, let me know if you need anything, ‘Kay?” Namjoon demands your attention. “Take it easy and rest up this weekend.”

You nod profusely and Namjoon smiles at the action like your adorable. You frown at that. And then he’s gone and you’re stuck with Jungkook and the thoughts clamoring around in your head.

“I didn’t need you to save me. Or lie for me.”

“Sure,” he says but his eyes say something different. That maybe if you really didn’t want his help you shouldn’t have looked at him like a deer in headlights practically begging the floor to swallow you up. “And I wasn’t lying. You do have a better technique.”

You roll your shoulders, ignoring the praise. “Seriously. I was fine.”

“Fine my ass,” he mutters, pushing past your body and heading outside the door.

“I didn’t need your help and I don’t owe you —” The frigid air whips across your cheeks so hard that you have to stop and close your eyes for a beat. When you peel them back open you find Jungkook looking down at you without something akin to disappointment swimming in his eyes. “What?”

He stares at you for what seems like an eternity. You try not to break away from his gaze but your eyes skittle across his outfit. The beanie on his head that outrageously still looks similar to the one you have on, his grey padded jacket and a similar shade of sweatpants. And by the time your eyes reach back to his face, his focus has diverted to glaring needles at your knee.

“What?” You repeat, this time though you’re whispering like you might not like what he will say next.

“I don’t get it. You of all people know how horrible last year was. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

You suck in a deep breath, not wanting to relive your sophomore year. “Why do you care?”

“Why?” Jungkook practically stutters at the question, his already big doe eyes transforming into the size of craters. “Are you trying to prove something? To who? Me?”

“I don’t care about you, Jeon. And I don’t need to prove any single thing to you. You’re dead to me.”

“You think that by carrying this invisible burden and pushing yourself to the point of borderline insanity you’re going to get better? That you won’t burnout? That somehow you’re going to get back at me? After you’ve ruined your knee and not only ruined your chances at swimming competitively ever again but just in general? You think you’d finally feel like you’ve served me a hot plate of revenge?”

There’s no reason for him to be able to see right through you so easily. There’s no reason for him to know how stupid this whole thing is and how really the only one suffering is you. Always you. Only you. Alone.

Jungkook’s face twists into a vision of pain and you’re stunned into silence. It’s like you can tell how much your disregard for your own body is affecting him when it shouldn’t. He’s your self-proclaimed enemy that was once your friend. You shouldn’t feel like you’re hurting him more than yourself.

You don’t even feel the lone tear that slips past your walls and slides down your cheek until he moves closer and uses a smooth thumb to wipe it away. Dammit, you’re better than this.

“Not everything is about you, Jungkook.” But right now it is. For you, it is.

He nods his head once. The pain that was painted on his face morphing into something you can’t discern but his thumb doesn’t lift from your face. Instead, the rest of his fingers cradle the side of your face like they’re protecting you. You inflate at the action. After several seconds, they’re gone.

“I should go,” he states matter-of-factly.

Don’t, you want to say but the words live and die in your throat You know if you start you’d say too much. “Yeah.”

Even though you want him to make up some silly excuse as to why he has to walk you home. Like maybe you’d slip and knock yourself into the netherworld. He does nothing of that sort. He puffs out his cheeks; resembling a bunny, and then he sends you a wary smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

For the first time in ages, you don’t like the sight of his retreating back. For the first time in a long time, you don’t even have the energy to pledge eternal damnation to Jeon Jungkook. All you want to do is ask him why. Why were you not enough? Why did he hand you back your heart when all you wanted was for him to keep it. And why did he suddenly do a one-eighty in college, resorting to snide comments and remarks that make you boil but also instill air into your lungs like you are finally breathing again? Why does it seem like he still cares?

You’re on a mission to drown out everything that has to do with Jeon Jungkook. You don’t like that he has created a rupture in your stratosphere. You don’t like that you’re realizing that you’ve been waging a war but not against Jungkook like you’d originally perceived. Now now that you think about it, when has he really been a rival? You’ve really only been fighting yourself.

The two of you aren’t even in the same category. You don’t even specialize in the same swimming techniques. And now that you’re seriously going through it, has he ever really been conceited about getting better times? All he ever did was point out things you were doing off and even though you hated it, it wasn’t like he was lying.

You’re one step away from your dorm when your phone buzzes with a flurry of text messages. It’s from the swim team group chat for juniors and seniors.

Taehyung: It��s the weekend mi amigos *dancing emoji*

Vivian: whatever you’re thinking... it’s gonna be a no! from me! also i thought u were sick?

Taehyung: aw come on i havent even said anything yet

Taehyung: not! sick! it was just the flu

Seokjin: flu is a sickness, no?

Vivian: im so tired dudes,, im not going out with y’all to get smashed

Nathan: im down

Taehyung: yes!!!!

Taehyung: guys i promise! you’ll love me for it. a friend of a friend is hosting a party on Greek row. Let’s GO!!

Vivian: it’s not like we’re the only friends you have. ask someone else dude

Before you even think about it, you’re typing a response.

You: I’ll come. We don’t have training tmr so...

Taehyung: OMFG

Nathan: i had no idea you were in the chat lol

Vivian: rude. if y/n’s going then maybe she’ll keep Tae’s head on straight

Seokjin: don’t know if JK’s down but I’ll drag him out if I have to.

You: don’t do that.

Taehyung: why? don’t you guys have that whole foreplay thing going on or?????

You: WHAT

Vivian: wait i might come after all

Seokjin: Tae, leave it alone.

Taehyung: okay but it’s not my fault they both barely look at anyone other than themselves during practice. i can’t be the only one that noticed them basically eye-fucking each other all day everyday

Nathan: i second that

Vivian: ... sorry, y/n. but i third that

Seokjin: GUYS. if she leaves the chat because y’all can’t keep your mouth shut istg,,

Nathan: wait is jungkook reading this?

God, how you want the whole universe to open up and swallow you whole. Your phone feels like a hot potato in your hands. You throw the wretched thing into the back of your jeans pocket and blink over and over again as you rush into your dorm and up the elevator.

It takes the rest of the day to calm your cheeks from splitting from humiliation or embarrassment, it’s a close tie. You don’t pay attention in class, you can barely nap without the words blinking at the back of your eyelids like neon target signs.

Foreplay? Foreplay?!

You almost spontaneously combust.

You hear the telltale sound of a key unlocking your dorm room door and you hightail out of the ensuite bathroom before you can even think.

“Foreplay?!” You all but scream at your roommate and fellow swim team member, Vivian.

At the very least she looks sheepish, smiling nervously as she pushes a piece of her coiled hair behind her ear. “I thought you knew. I mean, everyone talks about it.”

“What about me wanting to rip his ass from his hole screams foreplay to anyone?!”

She shrugs, her lilac sweater falling down one brown shoulder. “I don’t know, it’s kinda sexy.” She drops her backpack on the only sofa and turns back to you. “He’s the only one you really talk to in the team so, everyone just kinda assumed y’all were either a has-been or a to-be couple.”

Wheezing, you lock your arms defiantly across your chest. “I don’t like him.”

“Yeah, okay.” Vivian laughs, unconvinced for some reason.

“I’m not kidding. He’s annoying. Always breathing down my neck like he’s my personal trainer or something. Any time I do a thing it’s like he has to say something in response, you know. I don’t hate him but I don’t... I don’t like like him.”

“Do you think he’s attractive?”

“Everyone does.”

She smirks at you like she’s caught you dead in a trap. “And you?”

You bite your lip. It’s not worth the hassle to lie. “A little bit. A teeny-tiny bit.”

“What about him do you think is attractive? And don’t mention his thighs because we all know those are in a different league of their own.”

That gets a laugh out of you. Vivian’s mouth widens at the sound. You realize then that maybe, just maybe, you’ve been hoarding things in for too long. And you appreciate Vivian because she’s always been nice and has tolerated your one-worded answers and four am showers like a champ. You want to give her an award or something.

You lean against the wall and think about her question. “Well, in a way his nagging and pushing my buttons can be seen as being attentive? I mean, he notices things about me that I don’t. And I’ve been… thinking that maybe he’s not really all that bad like I conjured up in my head.” More than that, before everything turned to shit, you thought he was the kindest, funniest person in the galaxy.

“Well, I’m no team Jungkook,” she snickers at her own Twilight reference and your lips tilt up as well. “And I won’t pretend to know what’s gone on between you and him. But whatever it is, maybe y’all just need to, like, talk it out.”

“I—”

Vivian shushes you. “You know I’m right.” She sashays to her room door and then turns back to you. “We’re going to go to Taehyung’s friend of a friend’s frat party and you’re gonna get the liquid courage to talk to him. I think everyone on the team would appreciate the whole sexual tension going on between the two of you finally being exiled into the cosmos.”

Cosmos?

You’re not really sure what happens after that. You let Vivian convince you to trade your comfortable sweatpants for an A-line skirt, tights and a stylish sweater that you’d bought on a whim. At least if you’re going to really say screw all and go for this party, you refuse to be a shivering mess.

Even though Greek Row is truly not that far from your dorm, you let Vivian drive the two of you over. She talks about everything and anything and it feels like it’s been forever since you hung out with anyone that wasn’t during scheduled practice and workout sessions.

Hell, what have you been doing for the last four years? Being obsessed with results that apparently your arch-nemesis doesn’t even care about?

Vivian tells you about the dude she’s dating and how he’s on the university’s volleyball team. You’re more surprised than you should be. You can’t believe you’ve been roommates with her for almost two years and you barely know anything about her other than surface-level shit. Oh, Zelda, this is one big bitch of an awakening.

“I’m sorry,” you say sincerely as she puts the car in park aways from the actual fraternity building. The entire street is blocked up with cars so it was hard to find any space. “For being here and yet not really at the same time.”

Thankfully, Vivian doesn’t make you sweat. “S’cool. Everyone’s got their own shit.”

“I’ve been really shitty lately.”

“Hmm, well, we can get drunk off our asses and feel really shitty together?” You decide then and there that she is amazing and only the devil will be able to pry this budding friendship out of your cold hands.

You find out that Vivian is very skilled at mixing drinks. It takes barely half an hour for you to start feeling a buzz and by your third round of whatever she stirs for you, you’ve straight up arrived at the land of Drunkenville: population; one. You’re busy debating with her and her boyfriend about how sports anime is simply the best branch of cinema to have ever been created and the one sub-genre that truly speaks about the resilience of the human spirit when you feel a heavy arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Y/N,” the voice all but screams in your ear. You hazily look up to see Taehyung’s chiseled face smiling down at you. And even your intoxicated self can tell that he’s pregamed the fuck out of this night already. “I brought lil Jungkookie for you. At first, he was all blah blah not going but when I said you were going to be here. Boi jumped like a fish in water.”

Taehyung laughs and you laugh with him, not really sure if you get the joke but happy nonetheless that he’s happy.

“‘Sup Viv and Viv’s boyfriend,” he salutes them and weirdly enough, Vivian’s boyfriend doesn’t take offense. He salutes back.

Vivian rolls her eyes but then she clasps two strong hands across your shoulders, effectively washing away the tipsy gaze from your eyes for a moment. “Now, listen. You’re going to find Jungkook and let him know how you really feel. Use all this liquid courage and let him have it. And you shouldn’t care that we’re at a party because almost everyone is drunk anyway.

And if that goes to shit and you want out of this place, don’t you dare even think of walking home, okay? You look for me. Don’t think I haven’t seen you limping your way across the dorm like a crazy bitch. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t have the right. But so help me, if you so much as think of walking back I will ... I don’t know what I will do but you won’t like it! So go find Jungkook and do us all a favor and end this eternal foreplay.”

Foreplay... that damned word again. It overrides your brain system and makes you think of things you shouldn’t want. But you’re stupidly confident right now. Hell, your knee hasn’t really been bothering you since you woke up from your nap. The alcohol in your blood is dancing to its own beat and it’s lighting your system on fire.

If not now then when?

You have a gazillion and one questions to ask Jungkook. Questions you’ve kept silenced and bottled down in your heart for years. Questions that keep you up at night. And maybe its because the last month and a half has made you question everything about yourself and your ethic and your predicament, you know you have to do this now.

Fuck it. Who cares if you become the source of this boorish party’s entertainment like a walking cliché? It’s not like you’d remember anything that happens here and you only know a handful of people. Embarrassment? You don’t know her. Not today.

You find him in the basement with a cup of something near his booted feet and his gleaming eyes transfixed on the TV in front of him. His tongue poking a hole in cheek. There’s a small crowd of people around him and you take one glance at the screen and see that he’s playing Super Smash. Of course. He looks beautiful like this. Different than the last time you saw him and better because he doesn’t have that look of agony coloring his eyes.

You could probably spend a whole day just looking at him. Taking in the man that’s grown from the boy you once knew and called your own. His body is a work of art and ought to be chiseled and crafted like the sculptures of the Renaissance era. If you were any good a sculptor, you would’ve done just that. Instead, you commit him to memory. Because even though it is possible that neither of you likes each other anymore, you want to remember this.

He looks perfect like this. Happy. Not distressed and sad like when you’d confessed to him. When you had laid your heart bare before him and he didn’t even react. You wish you could say he had pried your heart out of your hands and ripped it to shreds. But that wasn’t the case. Your heart hadn’t shattered by his blatant rejection. It had melted.  

You watch as his character, Link, of course, K.O’s his opponent and Player 2 Victory flashes on the television screen. He wins. Like always. You don’t feel mad like you usually do. Maybe you’ve finally accepted that there are just some things you can’t win no matter how steadfast and committed you are.

Jungkook looks up from his controller, pumping his fist in the air, his long, dark hair flopping around his face like a curtain. Your veins practically burst with electricity when his smiling eyes notice yours in the corner like you knew they would. The smile dims and you expect that. You’re not asking for a love to cure all epidemics or a lie to burn your body to ash. You just want to move on. To finally escape the purgatory you’ve put yourself in.

“We need to talk,” you try to say as loud as you can but the cheers and conversations of the people around you drown you out.

Somehow in someway, he hears you and nods his head. Maybe he’s a glutton for pain like you. He scoots out of the loveseat, standing to his full height and making pleasant excuses to his newly acquired friends that you don’t know. Maybe it’s the fake courage but you don’t take your gaze away from him. You’re going to do this. You have to — you suck in a huge breath — you must.

Once he steps into your bubble of personal space, the rest of the world fizzles out.

“This is a bundle of firsts, Ice Queen. You? At a party and instigating a conversation with me first? Damn, did you get a taste of hell without me videoing?”

“You always joke about everything,” you decide to bite the bullet. “I used to find that really cute.”

Alcohol o’ alcohol, why hath thou forsaken me? You almost look up to the heavens and question what possessed you to drink so much but then you rehear Vivian’s speech in your head and you find your resolve and strangle it.

Jungkook’s eyebrows fly up like he’s not quite prepared for this. “Wait, what are you... Are you drunk right —”

“I’m not good with words. And I’ve always sucked at speaking my mind and being thoughtful and generally being a good person. Like you,” you smile sadly when you remember the first time you ever made a friend; the boy in front of you that had offered you to come over sometime and play his GameCube with him when his older siblings were too busy to hang with him. “I’m passive at best when it comes to anything that’s not swimming. And even that, you got me into it. You were the reason I started it. You know this, I would’ve rather died than engage in anything that made me exert energy. But you made it fun until I genuinely loved it.”

“That’s not,” Jungkook shakes his head adamantly. “That’s—”

You shoot him a look. “Let me finish okay? I have this whole thing in my head and ... please, just let me say it.”

You hadn’t realized the curious looks the people around had been shooting your way until you see Jungkook scowl at any and every one before he intertwines your hands with his and pulls you out of the basement in a swift motion. You don’t mind the giddy feeling enveloping your chest at the sight of your fingers wrapped around each other. A part of you actually loves how cocooned it makes you feel. You want to bottle this feeling up and bathe in it.

He must be overfamiliar with the frat house because he leads you expertly into a room at the end of the hallway on the first floor. He shuts the door and then locks it. For a minute, he stares at your locked hands and you wonder if he feels the same pull you do. If he’s ever felt the same pull you do.

“When I handed you my heart and my everything, why didn’t you want it? Why did you act like I had committed a grievous crime against you and your glorious self?”

There. You’ve gone and said the thing. The biggest question that has plagued your mind for months and years. If your best friend didn’t even find value in you then really, was there any to begin with?

Jungkook lets out a heavy sigh that careens his shoulders down as if he’s carrying the weight of the world. A sigh so deep that it shakes his body from the vibrations visible through his black tee, and crashes into your soul. He closes his eyes for his barely a second but you wish he’d just spit it out. Pour acid on your wounds so you can feel the fire of a thousand suns and finally, fucking finally move on. Baptism by fire they call it but what you want is a goddamn exorcism.

“You thought I shat gold and that I hung the moon and that I was this perfect person when I’m not. I mean, have you listened to yourself? You think you’re a bad person because all you’ve ever done is compare me to you. But it was you and me. Not either or.

You think I really love swimming when you’re not the one egging me on? Pushing me to be better? You think I would’ve let you confess your magnificent love for me and then accept it when every sentence you said contrasted you from me. Pitted you against me? I’m competitive, you’re competitive but I didn’t think you needed competition when it came to that. You’d already won. And then I had this crazy stupid idea that maybe just being friends with you would work. I mean, love isn’t something you need to fight yourself bloody and dead for. Why would I accept this really amazing love from someone that was going to feel less than me and feel like shit for it?”

“So, what were you gonna do? Just wait till I up and decided that I was insecure and didn’t have a major inferiority complex I had no idea about?” Your sober thoughts vomit out of your mouth with impressive speed.

“I was still your friend,” Jungkook almost yells and out of his aggravation, his hands slip out of yours. The loss is staggering. He jabs his index finger into his chest. “I did everything I could do to still be your friend. But you wouldn’t talk to me. And I get that we were sixteen and there were so many ways we could’ve done better but you shut me out.”

“No, I…” You begin to say but the words die in your mouth.

Truth be told, you did shut him out. It wasn’t like you blocked him on every site. But when he tried to talk to you at school, you pretended he wasn’t there. When he stopped over at your place, you told your parents that you were sick and to keep him out. When he sent party invites on the gaming platforms the two of you shared a love for, you ignored them and turned off your console. But it wasn’t like you did all of this out of spite to begin with. It was just easier.

You were hurt. Seeing him brought on multiple feelings of shame, embarrassment, and pain all wrapped snugly like a demonic burrito. And he was your best friend, it wasn’t like you didn’t have other friends you could’ve asked for advice but the one person you wanted to talk to was the one person you couldn’t reach out to. So you didn’t think about it. Instead, you threw yourself headfirst into freezing ass water and worked your butt off with the one thing you had left.

And contrary to what Jungkook believes, he made you feel good about yourself. Like an anchor. You didn’t have to hide your nerdiness between a cold exterior so as to not get teased about it. With him, you were free. Like he was a sun that burned a path that enabled you to breathe easy. To be yourself so that you wouldn’t drown.

“You think I really go around joking with every bum on the swim team about Down To Fuck Demons for hire or that I walk every person with a rubbish knee home in fucking negative degree weather? Or that I worry about everyone that’s throwing their whole future away over a rivalry that doesn’t even exist? You think I’ve been playing the role of a pest around you because I hate you? —”

“Vehemently despise,” you choke on your words but your sense of seriousness causes Jungkook to burst into a staccato of quick muted laughter.

“Y/N,” he whispers your name like it’s a thing of beauty. And maybe it is. Right now you think so. “Firstly, I was dumb and I thought if I left things as they were maybe you’d realize how fucking awesome you were without me. But then all you ever did was practice and practice like you were training for an aquatics mafia or some shit. And then I realized that maybe you’re not the only one that sucks with words and when to say them. I should’ve told you that I did love you. Platonically. Romantically. And you made me feel great and not because you were less than but rather because being with you meant that I was my best self.”

You feel a cascade of water flooding down your cheeks like a waterfall but you don’t release a sound and you don’t really care about it because this moment feels sacred. Because you’re not crying out of pain or agony or longing. Rather it’s because you finally understand.

“You were like the sun and you were so blinding that I thought I would incinerate if I was still next to you like nothing happened.”

“Ha,” Jungkook scoffs, using a palm to run across his face. Then he squints his eyes at you like he’s seeing you anew for the first time. “If I’m the sun then you are —”

“The sun eater.” The words fly out of your mouth with ease. Quoting your fave anime characters was a thing the two of you had done relentlessly for days, heck, years.

Jungkook nods his head, elated that you remember like there was ever a time you’d forget My Hero Academia. “I’m not gonna apologize for not accepting your confession back then. I can’t. Not when I genuinely think neither of us knew what the fuck we were doing back then. Still don’t.”

“And I’m not going to say sorry for pulling away from you. I mean, I’m not a masochist.”

He lets out a throaty laugh that washes your insides clean. And you give a watery smile back, feeling soberer than you did a couple hours ago. You bet you look worse for wear but you don’t care because you’re done not pretending.

“Why did it take four years for me to...” your voice chokes and you almost break down right then and there. But your stubbornness is a thing of pride. “For us to finally talk about it. It would’ve made so much more sense if we had just talked and now I feel like I’ve wasted four years of my life being angry? Feeling discarded? But it’s not like that at all.”

Jungkook’s smooth yet experienced hands cradle the sides of your face and the overflowing tears pool in the flesh that connects his thumbs to your skin. “Friends fight all the time.”

You snort and he grins. “Most friends aren’t half as dumb as us.”

“You got that right. I think dumbness is attractive.” He says with an overflowing aura of achievement. “This just means we’ll just have to spend more time making up for it.” He dips his head down till his lips brush the tip of your ear. “And by the way, I think I’m done being your friend exclusively,” he says.

“Yeah?” You ask and for an inane reason, you smile even harder because the tears on your face feel like rain. And you’re still breathing easier, albeit a tad bit faster. But there’s no crash and burn after you’ve soared too close to the sun. Unlike before your heart feels like it’s glowing instead of charring.

“I think I want to take you out on a date.”

Your eyes widen with faux-horror. “Just one?”

“Oh my Zelda, can I at least finish my grand speech?” He rolls his eyes. “As I was saying, it won’t be one date but you know that kinda depends on if you’re still god at Fortnite. I mean, partying up is basically the same as marriage, you know?”

“Kook?”

“Yeah?”

“Your inner nerd is showing.”

Jungkook sputters loudly, the action making his hair swish across his forehead and his hands drop from your face. “Oh, forgive me. I thought you loved my nerdiness.”

“Love,” you correct him. “Present tense.”

His mouth practically breaks even with the floor with how wide he’s gaping. You haven’t sprouted a second head, have you?

You clear your throat, attempting to be blasé about the whole thing. “Well, if we’re really going to pursue this whole dating thing then I have to be honest, right? I think it’s quite sexy how knowledgeable you are about gaming and stuff even though we’re like hardcore athletes.”

“So I’m like an onion? Three dimensional? The more you get to know me, the more you love how I’m not like Other Guys trademark sign?”

You guffaw so hard you almost start crying all over again. “Oh my Zelda, we were having a moment. Why did you ruin our moment?”

“Think I can make up for it.” He looks at you with something akin to competition and licks his lips.

Your eyes falter at the action, zeroing in on them. Suddenly the distance between yours and his feels like a crime against humanity. It’s comical really, how the temperature of your body can fly from ice cold to a blazing inferno in less than minutes.

“Fuck,” you whisper.

“As you wish.”

Jungkook bends his lips to connect with yours in a swift motion. You’re surprised but a part of you must have anticipated it because you are pushing deeper into him as quickly as humanly possible. His arms snake across your waist, his hands landing squarely on your ass and his groan eliciting a magnitude of butterflies in the pit of your stomach as his tongue danced an infinite tango with yours. Smoothly, he backs you up until you feel your head tap a wall for support.

Holy crap shit. Your mind is a mess. No wait, your mouth is a mess. A warped sense of dizziness floods through your body and it has nothing to do with the alcohol you consumed earlier and everything to do with the sensuous teeth nipping at your bottom lip while his hands deftly squeeze your ass. Fuck, you can’t breathe. You don’t want to breathe. You cling unto his shoulders for stability and revel at how corded they feel under your touch.

He tears his lips away from yours, breathless, resting his forehead against yours. “God, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“You can’t die until we get to the part where we role-play as demon and a naive spell caster.” You’re out of breath as well because that kiss was something else. Divine, maybe.

“I get to be the demon though, right?”

You grin at that. “Of course. I’m not a heathen.”

This time you kissed him, pushing all thoughts of future escapades further away from your mind and focusing on the beautiful man in front of you. Reaching up, you dig your hands through Jungkook’s abundant hair and moan. You understand then what it must have been like for Icarus to fly off to the sun. It must have scorched his skin to death within seconds, and yet at the same time, it must have been oh so slow. And you doubt he despaired because in the end he was heading home and he was finally not alone. You understand so well because the more the fire in your veins expands, the more you come close to burning up entirely. And you love it. You’re losing all control and you don’t care because he’s losing his alongside you.

Everything turns into a mess of frenzied motions. Him reluctantly removing a hand from your ass to reach up and use his fingers to clasp around your throat and position it just right enough for him to latch his lips there and suck. hard. When he pulls away from you to admire his handiwork, the lopsided grin on his face almost sends you into another need to kiss him.

“I’m not gonna fuck you at a frat party when only Zelda knows how many losers have cummed on a singular bedsheet,” he announces without remorse.

“Fair enough.”

“But I am going to do very wicked things to you that’ll loosen up those shoulders to the point of being supple. And after that, you’re gonna promise me that we’ll go get your knee checked out later.”

A few hours you would’ve kicked and screamed at the idea of anything derailing your plan of getting on the lineup for the competition. You thought that admitting you need help meant that you were quitting. Punishing yourself for something so irrevocably at out of your control. Now though, you nod your head drowsily. You hate the doctors but you hate self-destructing even more. Especially now when you have someone that hurts when you hurt.

He’s unraveling you.

“I’ll go.”

His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, not believing how easily you’ve conceded to him. “Where has my sweet, stubborn Ice Queen gone? Bring her back to me, please. All this ecstasy must have gone to her head.”

God, whoever said you still won’t want to deck Jungkook even after experiencing something so explosive. But his grin threatens to split your heart two. Like he’s happy to just be with you, adoring you, joking with you. Oh, how your body is singing with praises.

“Yours?” You cock an eyebrow at him.

Jungkook beams. He’s the sun and you’re the moon. Now that you’ve tasted this, you’re never going to let go. You are simply submerged.

“Haven’t you realized? You’re my girl.”

a/n: i know very much that i took a lot of liberty when writing about collegiate swimming/sports in generral (i took an advanced swim class at my uni last semester so thats where all my info comes from) i tweaked it a lil bit to fit my purposes but it was fun to try to write about it hehe. 

i hope you all loved this fic as much as i loved writing it!!!! 

⇢ masterlist

©️ 2020 kai, high-on-food. ✉

[hellomomo]

Fanfic Year in Review 2020

Okay! Since I’m finally done posting for this year I can finally do my year in review!!

1. List of fics completed this year:

I published 11 fics this year! Nearly half the total amount of fics I’ve published in total wow.

1. thank you’s & i’m sorry’s | mdzs | jc & wwx reconciliation | 6.6k 2. blooming | mdzs | modern wangxian au | 3.4k (incomplete) 3. pick your filter | sailor moon | disguise pen series | 11.1k (incomplete?) 4. i wanna know you and i wanna love you | hq | 3rd year kagehina | 9.2k 5. you’re hotter than the sun, baby | hq | mildly nsfw kagehina | 5k 6. midsummer’s night (ice)cream | bnha | bakugou, ice cream, friends | 2k 7. ribs | fruba | 5+1 yuki-centric | 9.8k 8. a portrait of infatuation (as told by kageyama tobio) | hq | atsukage fluff | 7.5k 9. tu fais pleurer les anges (mais ici je souris) | hq | angel/reaper kuroken | 6.1k 10. kiss it better, please! | hq | iwaoi short | 1.5k 11. oh, those pretty boys | hq | atsukage + makeup | 3.9k

9/11 are completed and 4/11 are multichaptered. mostly hq because that’s my current obsession this year haha.

2. Number of words written:

Published words: 75523 I think the total number would be somewhere closer to 100K+ considering all the WIPs I have (to be published in 2021 wow!)

3. Your most popular fic this year:

Sorted by kudos on AO3, it’s thank you’s & i’m sorry’s This was also the first fic I wrote this year too.

4. Your personal favourite this year:

I think it’s a tie between i wanna know you and i wanna love you & a portrait of infatuation (as told by kageyama tobio)

I really loved writing both of these fics and they are super self-indulgent and sweet. I’ve reread them both multiple times haha

5. Your favourite scene:

i’m bad at remembering and picking favourites but i really like how this part in you’re hotter than the sun, baby came out!

All Shoyo can hear is the increasing loudness of his heart going  thump-thump-thump; he’s pretty sure Kageyama can feel his erratic heartbeat too, with how closely he’s pressed on top of Shoyo. Another breeze blows by, Shoyo’s brain barely registering the sound of ruffling fabric, hardly noticing the bottom of the curtains tickling their bodies. It’s still hot as hell, but a shiver travels down his spine. There’s something inherently erotic, Shoyo thinks, about the carnivorous, arrogant look in Kageyama’s eyes mixed with the aggressive heat, both in the air and emanating from their bodies. The evening sun illuminates Kageyama’s apartment, warm streams of sunlight filtering in through the glass of his balcony door, wind blowing in through the mosquito net, causing the white, semi-transparent curtains to flow up and down. There’s probably a lovely sunset going on outside and Shoyo could catch the beauty of it if he just turns his head ninety degrees to the left. But he’s fairly certain he’s physically unable to take his eyes off of Kageyama right now, unable to look away from those pretty blue eyes, that pretty smirk on that pretty face that’s leaning down to kiss him again.

6. A fic or scene that challenged you:

thank you’s & i’m sorry’s was a bit difficult since it was my first mdzs fic and it was challenging to write in that tone at first but I think it was a lot of fun in the end.

Also ribs was harder than I expected. I usually stick to oneshots and writing a 5+1 was more challenging than I had thought lol.

7. A line of writing you’re proud of:

I don’t know if I have a single favourite line but I loved the whole style of a portrait of infatuation; the little almost-fourth-wall breaks were SO fun to write.

He’s having lunch with Atsumu-san, eating his  oden —

(Which is maybe the  worst  part because now how is he supposed to eat out ever again without thinking about this whole mess?

— so he’s eating his  oden (which tastes amazing and warms Tobio’s stomach in the most pleasant way) when he notices something: Atsumu-san hasn’t even touched his meal yet.

and I also like the idea that the reader is free to put together/come up with the other half of the conversation lol.

The first thing Tobio does when he slips into his sister’s apartment is take his shoes off and put on some slippers—

(Yeah, he knows that’s a normal thing to do. The important part is what he does next but he can’t just lie and say it was the first thing, oh my god.)

— the  second  thing Tobio does is sit down in his sister’s entryway and scoop up Mikan and give her all the pats and scratches she deserves.

8.  A comment that touched you:

I don’t think I can pick just one haha. I love seeing the notification for any comment, comments really are one of the best things ever. but this one in particular really made my day when i read it because it just felt like validation that someone out there likes what i write and likes my style of writing.

i have been cured of all ill things in my life. this brought extra 40 years to my life. i- seriously this story was amazing! great job. if i could quote the whole story, i would. the narrative from tobio was just way too funny, the instagram comments gave me life, and the overall story was adorable and funny. i couldn't help laughing and smiling. this includes so many headcanons of which i am personally a big fan of. i love the detail that miwa designed tobio's apartment. i love hinata and tobio's friendship, it's just so well written and i give you the biggest praise for that. i am an absolute sucker for atsumu being whipped with tobio, it's just one of the things that makes me the happiest. i love the sister relationship tobio has with both miwa and alisa, it's too pure, and it is totally sister culture to take pretty photos of their dear ones. i love mikan and i love how tobio seems to get along well with it (cause his perevious concern was over animals not liking them, and this warmed my heart so much). i would also like to know where can i apply to the "tobio defence club". i'd like to join them and get those baby pictures.

so first of all: atsumu having a dramatic influence on tobio's behaviour, making him more sassy and outgoing (and more dramatic-), yes, we love to see it. atsumu brings out the best in tobio. we stan a healthy relationship. second of all: (How is it self-obsessed to read comments about himself if he isn’t the one who posted the picture?)- this sentance right here. i adore it sm. i have no words just how amused i am by it. i LIVE for sassy tobio. third of all: atsumu "making a digital shirne and fanpage of tobio-" please that sounds so adorable omfg. yachi being a good and supportive friend,, osamu being the amazing sibling he is,, alisa being an angel she is,, fourth of all: atsumu feeling bad over the pictures because he feels like tobio is uncomfortable is just so cute. a weird statment i know, but i live for relationships built upon deep care for each other. and tobio knowing that something is wrong, but not being able to put a finger on it. omg babyama, you're going to give me a heart attack. im squealing over charaters really loving and appreciating thier partner, it just clenches my heart. okay but kagehina's childish banter means so much to me. and sakusa's comments make me laugh out lound. and last (but not least): tobio teasing atsumu= me screaming my lungs out. and then the council od tobio defence club, i'd love to read more about that. what would their conversations be like?

i love you. i love this fic. i love atsukage. i love that i've had enough luck to be born in time to read this. i thank you so much for writing and sharing. and yes, we always appreciate more atsukage content. great job at writing fluff and comedy, i personally think that you did a great job. i thank you once again, and send many well-wishes!

it’s probably the longest comment i’ve gotten (not that longer automatically means better!) but when people point out specific parts of the story they liked it always makes me smile and feel super loved and everyth

9. Something that inspired your writing this year:

The HQ fandom for sure! I started watching Haikyuu at the beginning of this year and a whole new world of fandom was opened to be haha. I think seeing others work and talk about their writing and fics was inspiring too. And k-dramas. K-dramas always fuel my romantic fantasies.

10. Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc)

I wrote a lot this year! I also joined a lot of events towards the later half of the year which helped inspire me and I made a lot of fandom friends too. I learned how to fix the double spacing and italics errors on AO3!!

I think overall, writing so much during 2020 is something I’m proud of. This is the most I’ve ever written. I wrote for different fandoms and I think my writing style has really improved too. I began writing more of what I wanted this year too I think.

11. Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Last year’s goal: Write more! Write for more fandoms! Write different genres!

I think I definitely did that! Well, maybe not different genres exactly since everything has still been my usual fluff/humour combo lol. But I think I did try new things out a lot. Namely straying away form writing canon-verse I think. I had a lot of fun writing the kuroken angel/reaper AU and I also am in the middle of writing a modern magic AU.

My goals for next year: Keep writing. Write what I want to read. Stop obsessing over hits/kudos so much!!!

I already have a handful of fics planned for the new year and I can’t wait to write more!