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baekterflyeffect · 5 years

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hues / part two

He always considered himself as the colorful one, until she came into the picture and managed to make him realize that there were hues and shades of colors in him he hadn’t discovered.

CHARACTERS: Baekhyun x Reader (name would not be mentioned) AU: fakedating!au, college!au, artstudents!au GENRE: romance, fluff, slight conflict WC: 3.6k WARNINGS: stalking behavior, vague description of panic attack. A/N: this one is rather messy lol i’m sorry i’ve been sick and busy

+ hues masterlist

Baekhyun couldn’t stop thinking of the way her lips tasted, after their first attempt to kiss in his little couch, they shared more kisses until they have to stop themselves before it went further. Baekhyun sent her home before the clock hits eleven pm, walking her to her apartment and giving her one final kiss before they part ways.

He never felt like this with his previous girlfriends, never felt like his heart is bursting into too many colors. With his past relationship, Baekhyun barely even thought about the way they kiss him, yet with her, he couldn’t get his thoughts away from her pair of lips. He craved for more, he craved the way her lips molds perfectly with his, and the burst of colors feeling he had when they kiss.

The thought of their pretend relationship ending and him not being able to kiss her and admire her flushed face after scared him. He doesn’t want to let his ego get the best of him and think that she feels the same way, but with a memory of how their kiss felt like, Baekhyun doesn’t care - as long as he is still able to kiss her, his fear can be damned.

Baekhyun arrived late to the restaurant he supposedly meet his friends with, yet, at the sight of her saving a seat next to him, he smiled. Plopping himself down next to her, he dropped his head to rest it on her shoulder. Earning a gasp from who he assumed is Chanyeol. Another gasp from his other friend could be heard when she placed her palm on his cheek, patting it gently.

“I thought people were just gossiping and spreading false rumors about the both of you!” Chanyeol said in an accusatory tone, making her laugh.

“What about us?” She asked.

“I went to the art department the other day and I heard people talking about you and Baekhyun dating. But I shrugged it off because I didn’t know the two of you are close?”

Baekhyun fixed his seating position, looking at her with a knowing look. Earlier, both of them agreed to let their friends know they were dating and not fake dating. It was not because they didn’t trust their friends, it was because they feel like it’s better to not tell anyone but themselves. If their friends know they’re dating, it could convince her stalker to go stop bothering her.

“Many things happened without you knowing, Yeol.” Baekhyun chuckles, pressing a kiss on her jawline that managed to make their friends groan.

“But you didn’t tell me…” Chanyeol said, sounded absolutely like a defeated puppy. She chuckles at that, shrugging Baekhyun off her shoulders.

“We’re sorry, Yeol. We just want to make sure we’re serious.” She said, Baekhyun admired her acting skills, knowing that their relationship is a pretended one. He saw Chanyeol’s waving his hand in dismissal before questioning them.

“How long has it been anyway?” One of his friends asked, and Baekhyun wondered, when was she asked Baekhyun to be her pretend boyfriend only to gasp internally when he realized it had been close to two weeks. Time sure went by too fast, their kiss inside Baekhyun’s apartment was a week ago. No wonder he had been craving for the way her lips tasted.

“Two weeks? I think,” he said as he reach her spoon to eat her food, “we don’t really keep in check.” He saw her nod, not saying anything about his nonchalant behavior of taking her food.

The dinner went on smoothly. She was definitely having a lot of fun spending her evening with her close friends that she hadn’t seen each other for almost a month. They do have a close and tight friendship, but everyone was busy with their own assignments, only having time to hangout once in a blue moon. What made the dinner more enjoyable was the closeness she shared with Baekhyun; usually they always sit far from each other. Having Baekhyun close to her as he smoothly lied to their friends when they asked questions about them somehow brought out a sense of comfort to her.

“Did you bring your car, baby?” She heard Baekhyun asked, making her turn to look at him and shook her head. Baekhyun smiles and bobbed his head, giving her a knowing look that he will bring her home later. He gave her hand a squeeze before he turned to join the others’ conversation again, leaving her to admire his side profile. His jawline was sharp, yet there is a softness in it, making her wanting to draw him. She shifted her eyes to take a closer look on his nose when suddenly, she noticed a male figure sitting a few tables away from their table.

The figure smiled at her, and she was able to feel her heart dropping to the floor. She recognized him, it was Jinyoung; the person who always pester her about his feelings and wanting her to date him. After the encounter a week ago together with Baekhyun, she thought he would stop pestering her as she didn’t see Jinyoung anywhere. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he was here, if it was, he wouldn’t look at her so intensely and gave her a smile.

She looks away, her body shaking in fear. Baekhyun noticed it because she took her hand away from his hold, “Baby,” he turned to look at her, worried filling his eyes, “are you okay?”, He could see her nodding her head right away, not wanting their friends to notice that something is happening. She doesn’t say much, feeling Baekhyun placing his hand on top of hers - if it was any other day, she would swoon at how big his hands are in comparison of hers, but for now, she just wanted to go home.

She heard Baekhyun sigh, his hand reaching to his car keys on the table. Announcing that he will be taking his girlfriend home first, giving their friends a blatant lie that she needed to finish her assignment. There are groans and whistles from their friends that she only shrug off. She could feel Baekhyun’s hand clasped around hers, leading her to his car that was parked near the restaurant. She could feel Jinyoung’s eyes trailing her figure as she exits the restaurant, and it crept her up even more - her only source of comfort being Baekhyun’s warm hand holding hers.

“What is it?” Baekhyun asked once they settle inside his car, turning the engine on. He doesn’t start driving yet, making sure that she was comfortable enough.

“I.. he’s here,” She seemed hesitant, sighing. She unconsciously reaches for Baekhyun’s hand to hold it―seeking for comfort, “I saw Jinyoung seating on a few tables next to ours.”

She could see Baekhyun’s jaw clenching and the grip of his hand on hers tightened, making her flinch a little.

“Maybe,” he starts, voice low, “maybe it’s a coincidence that he’s there, right?”

The hesitation could be felt from his tone, Baekhyun himself was sure that it was nowhere near coincidence.

“Let’s drive you home first, okay?” Baekhyun smiled at her, caressing her palm with his thumb to let her know she’s safe with him.

Baekhyun ended up walking her to her apartment unit, still holding her hand and the only time he wasn't was when they get out of the car earlier. He squeezed her hand in reassurance.

“Do you want to accompany me tomorrow, babe?” He asked, swinging their hands gently.

“To?” She was already smiling, as if she had forgotten about her encounter with Jinyoung; being with Baekhyun has that kind of effect on her. He made her forget about her worries even though it was temporary.

“There’s an art exhibit by one of my lecturers, I have two invitations, might as well bring you?”

Her eyes widened in happiness at that, grinning widely as she nodded her head.

“Yes! Definitely!”

Baekhyun mirrored her grin and ruffled her hair, leaning closer to her. He tilted his head and breathlessly asked her, can I kiss you, in which she tilted her head up, giving him an easier access.

When their lips touched, both of them could feel the same burst of colors that they felt a week ago; the familiarity of each other’s taste filling them in ways their past couldn't ever compete.

She was standing in front of her full-body mirror, admiring her dress and how her long dark hair curled into a wavy style. She decided to wear one of her sundresses, with little hearts in the color of pink decorating it. The makeup she applied is not too thick, choosing a faint glitter as her eyeshadow that made her eyes looked sparkly.

Five minutes later after she applied her pink lipstick, she received a phone call from Baekhyun, letting her know that he was already downstairs, waiting for her to meet him.

True to his words, he was already waiting for her, his phone in his hand as he sat down on the waiting area, looking extremely dashing with his black hair parted in the middle and his forehead shown. Without much thought, She walked towards him―her heart beating way too fast for her liking.

“You look beautiful,” was the first thing Baekhyun said when they are standing side by side, his hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, making her smile, “very beautiful.”

Muttering a thank you, her eyes wandering to his physique.

Baekhyun was wearing a very fitted button-ups shirt in the color white, the fabric stretching over his broad shoulders and chest, his sleeves rolled up until it reached his elbow, showing his silver watch decorating his wrist. He looks good, way too good.

He doesn't give her the time to compliment him, leading her to his car with their fingers intertwined. Through the entire ride, he places their hands on his thigh, driving with one hand while singing along to any songs the radio provided.

The exhibition of Baekhyun’s lecturer was located in the twentieth floor of a high-rise building, letting the shine of the sun illuminate the white walls and the art frames. Soft chatters from people and the tune of classical music being played in the background complimented the atmosphere of the place; beautiful and serene.

Baekhyun told her before in the car ride that the concept of his lecturer’s exhibition was the emotion of love, and she could see how clearly his lecturer painted it with every canvas that was hung on the wall.

Both her and Baekhyun decided to join in with the crowd, looking through every piece of art and talking about the emotions behind each canvasses.

“Do you like it so far?” Baekhyun asked her, sipping on his glass of champagne. They are not standing in front of each other with drinks in their hands. It could be considered early for them to have a tinge of alcohol in their bodies, though neither minded about it.

She smiled, her eyes traveling through the environment before she nodded her head. “I love it, very much. I love looking at paintings knowing how real they are.”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but to admire her more after listening to what she had said, he did agree with her, he knew the quality of his lecturer’s art, thus he brought her here knowing that they have the same sentiment regarding arts.

“I have a certain favorite,” Baekhyun started, he heard her chuckle then she tipped her chin to point at one certain painting. “Must be that one, eh?” She replied. It was a simple painting — two hands with their fingers tangled together in a dry brush technique. It doesn’t have any other colors, just black, and the whiteness of its canvas, of course Baekhyun liked it, She thought to herself when Baekhyun confirmed it with a nod and a sheepish smile.

“Colors aside, why?” She asked him, curious. Baekhyun pursed his lips, turning his head slightly to where the painting located and she could see he was, once again, admiring it. It took her by surprise when he suddenly took her hand in his; tangling their fingers together. His long and slender fingers perfectly slotted against her own. He was reenacting the painting, she realized.

“I found it beautiful how two different shapes of things being perfect when they are paired together,” she assumed that he was talking about the painting - and not their hands, “it was like two missing puzzle pieces finally finding its perfect pair.” Baekhyun finished his words by squeezing her hand, her heart beating way too fast and she could feel every color she has within her are dripping in a way she liked.

She stared at him in awe—trying to read his expression until he laughed softly and pulled his hand away from hers, before she could feel disappointed, he looped his free arm around her waist, leading him to his lecturer, “Let’s meet the artist,” he smiled.

The talk with Baekhyun’s lecturer―or the artist of the exhibition―went on smoothly, he explained that the paintings are inspired by his story with his wife. The explanation of the colors he chose hits home for her as the artist explained some of the colors he picked are to describe his feelings about his wife.

She related to that, very much so, remembering the painting she did of Baekhyun after they kissed; a portrait of him that has a burst of vibrant colors as the background.

“I don’t want to go home,” She whined, resting her head on Baekhyun’s shoulder as they ride the lift down to the basement where Baekhyun’s car was parked.

“Where do you want to go, then?” He asked her, moving his arm to rest it around her shoulder to pull her closer to him; not caring about the people who ride the lift together with them.

“The mall?” She questioned, looking up at him.

“But I’m wearing too formally, don’t you think?”

“But you look good in it.”

Her words came out way too shameless, yet she doesn’t care as she pursed her lips, giving Baekhyun her best puppy eyes look. He chuckles at that, nonchalantly leaning closer to press his lips to hers briefly, admiring her red tinted cheeks after he pulled away.

“The mall it is.”

The entire time they spend in the mall, Baekhyun hands never leave hers, their fingers intertwined as they walk around shops. It does bother her how nonchalant and normal they become, as if the line of pretending being erased from them. It’s worrying, how her feelings for him grow stronger, that she doesn’t want to let go of the hand that was holding her.

It was like two missing puzzle pieces finally finding its perfect pair. She recited Baekhyun’s words in her mind multiple times.

Sooner or later she knew that she needed to come to terms with her feelings, to tell him that she doesn’t want to only pretend to date him. She’s anything but confident—wasn’t even sure either Baekhyun harbor the same feelings as her.

Soon enough, the dark blue color within her gets too unbearable.

She felt something was weird when she stepped inside her apartment, regretting her choice of telling Baekhyun it’s okay to not walk her through the door because he looked tired. She bit her lip, hesitantly walking closer towards her kitchen. The light is on, which was weird, because she would never let her lights on whenever she went out early.

There is no evidence of forced entry, she knew that nobody could ever get inside her apartment floor unless she gave them the access, maybe she was just being paranoid for no reason. She sighed, letting herself think that she was just being paranoid, she decided to walk towards her bedroom, finding it weird how the door are set slightly ajar.

Again, maybe she rushed earlier that she didn’t check her apartment one last time.

She decided to let her paranoia go as she put her stuff down and hops in the shower to get ready for bed. Right after she was done, clad in her pajamas. She noticed that her phone is vibrating and the screen lit up, receiving text messages.

Her heart dropped when she read the notification, turning her head left and right, anxiety filling her.

[From: Unknown] > I see you’re home, angel. > I visited you earlier, but you were on a date with your boyfriend. > Did you have fun, hm? > Your apartment smells exactly like you, angel. It’s sweet, a smell I couldn’t get enough.

There are few more texts that she couldn’t bear to read, with shaky hands and her eyes brimming with tears, she managed to call Baekhyun. He answered in three rings, sounding breathless.

“Babe?”

Usually, hearing his voice would be enough for her to calm down, but instead, she choked out a sob, falling down to the floor. No words could leave her mouth as her fear getting the best of her.

“Baby, talk to me,” Baekhyun sounded so worried, she could faintly hear shuffling and doors being opened and closed in a rush. She was sobbing uncontrollably, all she could hear is Baekhyun whispering for her to calm down and he’s on his way.

Throughout the entire time Baekhyun was driving to her place, Baekhyun didn’t hang up the phone call, it does feel calming how the sound of his car engine could be heard. She’s no longer sobbing, though she was still on the floor while hugging her knees, gripping her phone tightly. It feels like hours when Baekhyun finally came inside her apartment (she did tell him her passcode before).

She could feel Baekhyun warmness enveloping her small figure, her tears started to fall down her eyes as she cling to Baekhyun as if he was her life line. “I can’t breathe,” her voice came out mumbled as she had her face buried in Baekhyun’s chest, without words, he hoisted her up to her bed, hugging her close to him while he tried his best to cover their body with her blanket.

She was asleep with her body curled up almost on top of him, earlier, after she was calmer, she told him everything―letting him see the texts that she received and the oddness of her apartment she came home to. Baekhyun was least to say furious about the intervention of her privacy. She looked so broken, so vulnerable, that he just wanted to protect her from the world.

There are way too many things running down Baekhyun’s mind, making it hard for him to fall asleep. He took a glance at her, the stain of her tears earlier are still visible. He sighed, he shouldn’t feel this protective, after all, he’s no one but her pretend boyfriend. She should have contact the police before she contacted him, but he himself know that there are not enough evidence of someone barged into her place, the text messages she received could be deemed as a prank text.

Baekhyun knows he was letting his feelings for her grows even more, he’s not sure he wanted to admit it and face disappointments later, or just leave it be and try his best to move on when the time is due. He sighed, leaning closer to press his lips on her forehead gently, closing his eyes wishing sleep would come to him.

The bird outside was already chirping, yet, the sound that woke Baekhyun up was not the birds. It was the constant vibration of a phone that he could feel on his feet. He sat up groggily, taking a peek at her who was still sound asleep next to him. Baekhyun could feel his cheeks heating up at the realization that they shared a bed. The vibration continues, making him groan. With much difficulty and the haze of sleep still clouding his mind, he manageD to find the vibrating phone.

Jongdae is calling….

Baekhyun answered the call right away, genuinely thinking that the phone in his hand belonged to him.

“What,” he breathed, completely annoyed. Instead of receiving a sassy reply from his best friend; he received a gasp.

“Baekhyun?!”

“That is me.” Baekhyun deadpanned.

“Why are you there?!”

Oh shit. Oh, shit.

“Yeah, oh shit. What are you doing there?”

Out of shocked, Baekhyun didn’t realized that he speak out his words loudly.

“Listen, I’ll call you back later. Just.. text her if anything. Bye, Dae.” Without much thought, Baekhyun hung up the phone right away. He knew he was blushing by now.

Fuck, Baekhyun muttered to himself, throwing his body back to the bed with a groan. Fuck.

He couldn’t even attend to his panic when he heard the shuffling of the sheets, and a soft voice calling his name. Turning his body, her sleepy puffy eyes, Baekhyun couldn’t help but to chuckle at the sight, his body moving unconsciously to bring her closer to him.

They lay down in silence, enjoying the comfort of each other’s presence until she pulled away, her cheeks are tinted in pink. Baekhyun propped himself with his elbow, his cheek resting on his palm as he admired her figure. She looked absolutely dashing in the morning with her red puffy eyes and bloated cheeks. For some, the sight might not be the best to look at, but Baekhyun knew that he would give everything up just to see the sight of her waking up next to him.

He slowly extended his arm, caressing her face with his knuckles gently. “Good morning,” he whispered, his lips stretched into a smile right after. Baekhyun’s heart dropped to his stomach when she whined, burying her face to his armpit while mumbling a good morning too.

With the simple gesture, Baekhyun knew, she is not only a missing piece of puzzle that he had been looking for; she’s the colorful vibrant colors that complimented his monochromatic colors.

And he knew, he never want to let her go.

#livia writes #bbh-net

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marvelousbenz · 5 years

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My 2019 Bullet Journal

First things first, I’m no bullet journal expert. This is literally my second one to ever own, but you can say that I’ve done some extensive research, trying to get the hang of the whole process. And I would like to believe that I did figure out the gists of a bullet journal.

1- Get a notebook that suits your needs.

It doesn’t have to be hella expensive, nor does it have to be some brand everyone uses on this platform. it just has to be a notebook. Simple. For me, I generally need one with a strong binding and a sling (?) to keep it closed and keep it together. My journal cost me 10$ from my local stationary store.

2- Stationary.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY EXPENSIVE PENS TO HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL. You don’t need muji pens nor pilot ones. You need a normal pen. And if you want remotely fancy ones, you can order from Ali Express. I get most of my stationary from there and let me tell you that the pricing is very reasonable. for example instead of the Stabilo pastel markers –which cost 1$ each in my country– I bought a set of 10 markers, all pastel and equally amazing, for only 3.47$. For me, I use 2 black brush pens from Ali express (they’re actually a set of 3 brush pens for 1.5$), Stabilo pens (Got the set of 7 pens for 4$ from my local stationary store), STA metallic brush pens (from Ali express for 4$ the set of 8 pens), and Edding 780 paint markers in Silver and Gold (Got the both of them for 5$ both)

You can use plenty of other stationary supplies, whatever you have available. heck even a Bic classic black pen is amazing. I even use it when I just want to write things down, because remember, the bullet journal is for you, it’s to please YOU, and not anyone else.

3- Setting it up

This is where you start to get creative. You can literally do whatever your heart pleases. There is no limit. Want it to be simple? you got it. Want it to be funky and all that shebang? Go grab a magazine and start cutting out whatever you find pleasing. Basically, your bullet journal can be a chance to recycle things. How is that possible? Well, that’s how I do it;

Use those brown shopping paper bags. McDonald’s delivers the food in its classic brown bag, why not save it (if it’s clean) and use it later. Or the Starbuck bag you get when you order takeaway (this is what I usually do) because the sides of the bag have this amazing pattern that truly makes your spread aesthetic.

Remember Last year’s calendar that’s hanging on the wall (maybe?) well, cut the pictures out of it! The calendar that I own has pictures of nature and sceneries, so I cut them out in different patterns and shapes. they look especially beautiful when you put them behind a piece of brown paper.

Make up boxes are too pretty to throw them away. I don’t do make up, but my sister does, and she has this obsession with eyeshadow palettes. What did I do? I took the box and now I use it for its shiny look.

Now to my favorite part of everything; choosing your Washi tapes. I have an obsession with them, and I’m so thankful for Ali Express for having them in such low prices (I might seem like I’m sponsored or something but I just really love Ali Express). I have a set of 6 shiny sparkly washi tapes, and a bunch of other ones with patterns on them. What I do is that I try to match their colors together WITH the color them of my spread or the page. it adds an amazing touch to the whole thing. But if you don’t have washi tapes, then it’s okay!

As for writing things down, you don’t have to be able to calligraphy. Calligraphy is something you can work on, there are many youtube tutorial videos that are quite helpful, but you really don’t have to include it.

4- Remember your Key

I never thought I would say this, but your key is really important. it keeps your tasks organized and everything clear for you.

5- Spreads

Your bullet journal is there to house all your needs. You can set up a page for whatever you want. Let it be reading list, movies to watch, or TV show tracker, everything has a place in your journal.

here are some page ideas;

2019 goals

2018 reflection

yearly spread

year in pixels

Movies to watch

Series to watch

to buy list

I wish (basically your wish list)

Reading list

winter break to do list

Just stick it (this is where you can stick a sticky note of a task that you have to do but don’t know where to write it down, or maybe just a reminder)

Birthdays

Ideal morning routine

what to do when you’re bored

Swatching page (this one is for when you want to buy a pen or a marker and you want to try it. this page is very essential for me hehe)

playlists (I like writing down my ideal playlist)

savings tracker

mood tracker

habit tracker

wall of memories

favorite quotes

Frankly the list can go on, but these are the ones I find most useful. You can add whatever you want, depending on your needs of course.

So this is roughly how I set up my journal. It’s nothing fancy but it’s mine, and I love it.

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jamiebluewind · 6 years

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My Sides

Note: I decided to make depression a disorder that impacts me and my sides to varying degrees depending on a variety of factors.

Apathy/Rue: Over sleep, disasociation (which can be handy during a crisis), laziness, relaxing, calming down, zoning out, and meh days. Favorite hobby is doing nothing. Doesn't care what pronouns you use for them. Depression causes them to be heightened to the point of causing emotional numbness and loss of all motivation.

Appearance: Perpetual bedhead. Short brown hair with two pale baby blue hair streaks due to fading. Wears an oversized baggy mens cotton tee with a few tiny holes in it and a chest pocket (for candy). They only wear pants when they have to. Otherwise, it's tiny cotton shorts that barely cover them. Owns one pair of flip flops (that they never wear). Fuck bras and shaving.

Restlessness/Max: Over obsessions, compulsions, anxiety, worry, fight/flight/friend/freeze, cognative distortions, and intrusive thoughts. Just a ball of nervousness and overthinking. Loves to research, fixate on topics, theorize, plan for "what if?" scenarios, and overshare about their latest thing. Bad with directions. Has a thing about symmetry. Constantly fidgeting or pacing. Does not do chill. The most likely to cause people to say "that's fucked up" when talking about something they thought of. Most likely to have a friend or freeze response in a dangerous situation. Will bolt when in danger if you trigger their flight response, even if where they end up puts them in more danger. Will act like a rabid animal and attack if you somehow trigger their fight response. They can make Logic harder to hear, but whatever gets through can help them balance out. Apathy can block their fight/flight/friend/freeze response. Depression causes their intrusive thoughts to become much darker.

Appearance: Somewhat messy short brown hair from constantly running their fingers through it. Glasses are a bright color (blue or purple?) so they are harder to misplacd and are either on their face or sitting on top of their head. Eyebags. Long soft scarf around their neck which provides comfort and something to mess with. Long sleeve shirt that's a solid muted or soft color as to not draw attention. A cami underneath just in case. Darker bluejeans (because they hide stains, are durable, and what if period!) with a small flashlight hooked on one of the loops. A hoodie tied around their waist. White sneakers. A wristlet purse with a few emergency items. A hidden necklace with emergency information.

Emotion/River: Over feelings, nostalgia, empathy, love, comforting others, gender identity, and sexuality. Aggressively cares about their friends. Would move heaven and earth to help others. Is a bit of a hoarder. Gender fluctuates between demigirl, bigender, and female. Loves art and fiction. Is both childish and profound. Loves moodrings. Depression either mutes all their emotions but sadness (and sometimes anger) or leaves her comatose.

Appearance: Short brown hair is soft and a little fluffy with two bright blue streaks at the front. Bright clothes with lots of colors. Jewelery that suits their mood. Has 2 colorful pronoun bracelets. Always wears at least one mood ring. Beautiful colorful tattoos without a unified theme (although many are cute or look like they came from a cartoon or comic). Several ear piercings and one sparkly nostril. Wears eyeliner and lip tint when she feels like dressing fem and occasionally uses eyeshadow. Clothes are usually androgynous. T-shirt has writing on it that made her smile. Shirt has a crew cut on "they days" and a v-neck on "she days". Reflective rainbow colored novelty purse. Sandals. Owns one floofy long skirt. The rest of their bottoms are shorts, capris, or pants. They usually wear capris.

Logic/Jo: Over intelligence, knowledge, curiosity, theorizing, the logical side of beliefs, and objectivity. Loves learning and reading non-fiction, but is fond of certain fictional works. Schedules, pay the bills, and self care. Open minded. Loves to research and has a massive library of knowledge, but due to the multi-dimensional nature of their room, information sometimes ends up stored in the wrong place. Fascinated by religions on an intellectual, historical, and cultural standpoint and uses what she learns to be mindful and respectful. Can counteract cognative distortions, but can also cause or amplify fixations on her quest for knowledge. Stubborn. Depression causes them to have difficulty functioning and sometimes become distorted until they find reasons to do dangerous or harmful things.

Appearance: Short brown hair is always professional. Simple glasses have dark blue, almost black frames. No piercings or tattoos. Cotton polo and slacks. Only jewelery is an elegant stirling necklace with a long chain and a large simple diamond shaped charm (one side says "She" while the other says "They"). Comfortable professional black loafers.

Creativity/Journey: Over inspiration, creativity, brainstorming, certain types of problem solving, ingenuity, out of the box thinking, writing, singing, photography, other creations, worldbuilding, jokes, puns, acting, and certain types of lying to others. Frequently goes on tangents. Run on sentences. Can be a little too energetic and random. Once inspired, they can't stop thinking about something until it's done or they run out of inspiration or drive. Has a wall of books for cataloguing ideas and unfinished projects (often taking from several old ones to build a new one), but the order has no rhythm or reason (even to them). Can be heightened or hindered by Restlessness. Apathy can help Creativity with daydreams and less fear, but make it difficult for them to take action. Depression makes them barely function, save acting and negative ideas.

Appearance: Dark purple hair with several bright blue hair steaks. Ear piercings and one sparkly dermal near their left eye. Purple eyeliner. Modified a pair of comfy overall shorts (aka shortalls) to be backless with a halter top fit (instead of the traditional tank top fit) so they would have lots of pockets to store stuff while having the most skin exposed to show off their extensive tattoos. Tends to wear a strapless binder or halter top underneath to avoid boob slips. Runs around in socks indoors, but has hiking boots for outside. Tattoos are artistic with heavy symbolism as well as quotes.

Ambiguity/Duo: Over morally gray areas, lying to others and oneself, telling the truth to others and oneself, spotting both deceit and honesty in others, superstitions, the illogical side of beliefs, seeing the good in the bad and visa versa, sarcasm, and occasional devil's advocate. Not quick to judge. Sees gender as a social construct, but also that some people require it. Sees religion as something that is not necessary for them to be happy, but knows it is important to others and will fight for those rights (as long as it doesn't hurt the individual, others, or society itself). Balances the line of what is and is not socially acceptable. Personal truths. Has a very "you do you" attatude. Probably enjoys yoga and certain fiction, especially ones that subvert expectations and/or tropes. Depression causes them to become skewed. Because of this, some things become amplified (lies to self and others, seeing the bad in good,...), some things become weakened (honesty, seeing the good in bad, spotting honesty,...), and some things become tainted (deceit is spotted when none is there, beliefs become tainted,...).

Appearance: Right half of face is white while the left half is black. A gray part in the middle where one color fades into the other that's about the width of their lips. Hair and clothing follow the same theme with the only color being their blue hazel eyes. Hair is held back with a metallic silver headband. Button up shirt with a sheer back (similar look to this). One glove on the left side. Bottoms are pinstripe palazzo pants or culottes. Ballet slippers. Has an ornimental tattoo on their back and one on each ankle.

----

Other facts...

My sides all have their individual jobs and functions, but they also work together on certain things.

My morality comes from Emotion, Logic, and Ambiguity. They work together despite their frequent disagreements.

Beliefs come from Logic and Ambiguity. Emotion can help by attaching a feeling to each belief.

If my ego is hurt, it effects Creativity, Emotions, and/or Logic depending on which was targeted. The same goes for the opposite (such as when praised).

Having my ego hurt make Restlessness freak out and overthink everything.

Despite Emotion having main control over gender identity (mine being femfluidflux), Logic has some input. Occasionally, Apathy or Ambiguity have a say.

Creativity literally created a new type of clothing for their needs. The halter shortalls currently do not exist to my knowledge.

All the sides have a varying level of fondness for cats. Apathy respects their chill. Restlessness finds them calming as well as a good way to release nervous energy. Emotion's heart just melt from the adorableness and wants all snuggles. Logic appreciates the proven medical benefits of having a pet. Creativity loves making cat toys, taking photos, and playing games with cats. Ambiguity admires their independence and controlled chaos. Their opinions on other animals varies.

None of my sides are entirely good or entirely bad. They also balance each other. (Apathy can help Emotion and Restlessness chill. Emotion can help Apathy when they get heightened. Restlessness can help spur the others into action as well as fixate to help Logic and Creativity. Emotion gives Logic and Creativity encouragement as well as helping make sure writing hits right in the feels. Logic helps the others with facts and helps break through negative thinking and spirals. Creativity helps connect thoughts in new and exciting ways and helps Restlessness find new ways to coop. Ambiguity helps the others make the hard decisions and keeps Logic from becoming too ridged.)

#my sides #bluewind talks #sanders sides #original sides

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neo-kajatrash · 7 years

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Nimble got walked in on crossdressing--which he knows there’s nothing wrong with, but he still freaked out, because that’s what he used to be bullied for and lost his hand over. But Sil (human belonging to @deezmo) was so nice and just held him and let him cry... so yeah I drew my goblin boy crying he’s only 19

That’s the short version anyway, but here’s a snippet of the story if you want to read the scene (written half by me and half by @deezmo in case you don’t know):

Nimble decided not to pick up his tools--at least for a little while. Besides, Sil told him to take a break, didn't she...? He'd spent a good amount of money on a gorgeous dress "for his sister," and he hadn't worn it in a while. He quietly, happily slipped it on and did his makeup carefully. Then he stepped out of the bathroom into his bedroom and did a twirl for himself in his tall mirror. The motion made his dress sparkle and wave, and he felt such a surge of happiness and belonging within himself.

He had black eyeliner and winged mascara, a dash of shimmering eyeshadow and shiny earrings--the one in his right lobe was a dangling one. The dress was white and sparkly everywhere, reaching his bare ankles, and the front of it was beaded with white and silver beads, wrapping around his neck in a snug collar and leaving his arms completely bare. He lightly brushed his mohawk with his hand, grinning and satisfied. He looked beautiful.

He plucked at the dress a little and stood in thought, twisting a little to watch it shimmer. He wondered idly if he could travel somewhere to attend some kind of party or event, and pose as a female...? But no, maybe he wouldn't pass... and it seemed much too complicated of a plan anyway--he should just stay home. He knew it wasn't a very big deal to most others (especially goblins) but still, it felt like one.

"H-Hello, Nimble? Uh.. It's me, Sil!"

He flinched when he heard the bell of the shop door, cursing himself for forgetting to lock it. But he panicked when he heard Sil's voice. He totally forgot she would have come round any time today.

"Shit, shit, shit..." he frantically looked around his room, as if a solution were to spring from the walls. Feeling stiff and not knowing what to do, he stared at himself in the mirror and simply called,

"U-uh... hey Sil! One minute!" He started to tug at the back of the collar, but it was difficult to unfasten with half of his fingers made of relatively flimsy metal.

"Alright! ...I'll be sure not to touch anything!"

Nimble hopped on his heels with frustrated effort, starting to just pull the collar over the back of his head and getting it stuck over his ears. He huffed in annoyance and glanced back in the mirror, realizing he was still wearing a good amount of makeup--and he forgot about the dress for now. He hadn't cared too much before when he wore light makeup in front of Sil, but now his fears started to grow. What if she laughed at him... or took her offer of friendship away...?

The corners of his lips turned down in a tight frown, and he miserably smeared the makeup on his right eye with the back of his hand, trying in vain to clean it up. He was so afraid of Sil seeing him like this that he didn't think to go into his bathroom to try to wash it off.

"...J-just, hang tight!" he called through his door, face and ears growing hot. What a damn inconvenient time for dressing up, he scolded himself.

In an attempt to pull the dress off without damaging it, he became unbalanced before he knew it and his mechanical hand shot out to catch himself at the end of his bed. The bed frame knocked loudly against the wall and rattled one of his shelves. He only turned just in time to see a pot of still-growing gummy leaves topple to the floor and shatter. Dirt and pieces of the pot scattered across the floor.

"Ugh--SHIT!"

Wondering what was taking so long, Sil was just about to poke something on a shelf when she heard something smash and Nimble curse. Maybe it was the fact that she had a new leg and felt a little like her old self again, that her reflexes kicked in and she hurried towards the sound. Thinking he was in danger and feeling a little panicked with the need to assist. However as she entered what was obviously his bedroom -going by the goblin sized bed- she noted with relief that he was fine aside from the smashed pot that had another one of those gummy leaf plants and was spilled over the floor.

It even took Sil a moment to recognize that the goblin in the room was Nimble. Her eyes widened a little as her brows raised in surprise at seeing him so dressed up. Of course she hadn't forgotten the time she held him and felt him wearing a bra, but this was different. He looked so.. stunning. He had obviously put in a lot of effort applying the makeup and she only now noticed as she stared in silence, that he had tried to hastily rub it off of one eye and he looked so upset. Like he had been caught doing something wrong and Sil thought over what it was that he had said about the people in his life in the past..

"I was never quite right either," he explained. "Usually either got made fun of, or told I was... I dunno... jus' disappointin'." He shrugged and looked up at her with a serious expression. "I never did anythin' wrong... I don' think..."

Sil felt like she could truly relate in some way to Nimble. Having wanted nothing more than to pick up a sword and wear armor to go off on grand quests. How amusing it was to her that such a similar thing could happen to another yet in an opposite way and to a goblin. Feeling her chest hurt as she suddenly felt that she understood, she held out a hand so he would stop panicking. Softening her expression with a small smile and brows pinched upwards. Wishing nothing more than to move closer and hold him but not feeling like she knew him well enough for such a thing, she calmly spoke instead, almost as if he was an injured bird.

"H-hey.. it's alright. You don't have to worry.."

Nimble gasped and practically jumped when Sil entered the room--he leaned down to hopelessly try to pick up the broken pot, but stood back up stiffly and faced her with quivering ears that soon drooped. He blushed furiously and stayed frozen, heart beating out of his chest as he looked up at her like a deer caught in a goblin trike's headlights. His happiness at seeing her using her leg so well was easily buried under his fears.

Without realizing it, he gripped his hand with his mechanical one, as if he were trying to protect it. But her words were so nice, and there was no laughter or hatred in it. Sudden cautious relief over her reaction made hot tears well up in his eyes, and he frustratedly blinked them away.

"S... sorry, I... b-broke my pot..." he stammered, trying to think of an excuse. "I... uh..."

Sil's jade eyes glanced at Nimble's trembling hands then back up over his blushing face. His large ears drooped and shaking and she felt her heart go out to him. His watery, rose eyes didn't go unnoticed by her as he blinked rapidly and she once more idly thought how lovely he looked. Wondering why she should think such a thing as he was a male and a goblin no less, Sil cast her eyes over the floor and the smashed vase. Only now noticing he was barefoot and obviously still flustered from her intrusion, she didn't wish for him to cut himself. In an effort to try and make him feel more comfortable, she tried not to look at him too much and felt her own face warming up. Really Sil? Focus, woman!

"Don't move.. there's shards of ceramic everywhere.."

Walking towards him while keeping her eyes on the floor, Sil avoided stepping on any shards. Even if she was wearing a shoe and her other foot was metal, she didn't wish to make any more of a mess. Making her way over to stand in front of Nimble and before she thought too hard about it, she placed her hands over his sides and along his ribcage and lifted him up a little. With a small huff, Sil gently sat him on the bed so he wouldn't cut himself. It was a lot easier to lift him in such a way than she did before and she was once more grateful to him for building her such a sturdy leg. Looking down at him with her soft smile, she continued to speak kindly.

"Do you have a broom? I'll sweep it into the corner so you don't cut yourself."

Against her orders, he took a step backwards when she came closer. Involuntarily, his heart leapt and thumped painfully when she reached down for him, breathing shallowly as if she was going to hurt him. When he only felt her hands around his sides and was sat on the bed, he failed to suppress an anxious sort of whimper--and he soon realized that Sil hurting him was a stupid thing to be afraid of... right?

He felt like his outfit needed to be addressed, but when she asked for a broom instead he just fiddled with his shaking fingers and watched her with wide, watery pink eyes.

"Mmmh..." he whined a little under his breath. "S'in the... closet," he mumbled softly, feeling tense and hunching over as he sat on the end of his bed.

"I forgot that... you were... coming. Th-thank you... for help--" his voice caught in his throat and he struggled for a moment, feeling a storm of confused emotions. Was he embarrassed, frightened, relieved...? He couldn't stop thinking about how he must look to her... covered in makeup, beads and sparkles. He glanced at what he could see of his reflection in his tall mirror, and this time he shied away from it--noticing how terrible his smeared makeup now looked. He fumbled with his dangling earring and pulled it out, then stared intensely at it as he held it on his shimmering lap.

"--helping clean it up."

He sniffed miserably and tried to rub more of his eye makeup off, still only smearing it further and feeling stupid. He was not ashamed of what he liked. But that didn't save him from the fear of being mocked, like he had been in the past.

Feeling her heart sieze up as she noticed and heard just how shaken he was, Sil put aside the thought of cleaning for now and just wished to console him. Reassure him that it's alright and she wasn't going to berate him for wearing such things. As she watched him seemingly start to deflate as he sat there on the bed and rubbing at the smeared eye makeup with his eyes still watering, Sil leaned down and gently gripped his wrist to stop him. Now that she was face to face with him, she felt her throat close up as she looked into his miserable expression and hoped he didn't whimper from touching him this time.

"Nimble.. it's alright.. really. I won't.. tell anyone if that's what you're worried about.."

Letting go of his wrist, she gently cupped the side of his face and ran a thumb over his cheekbone and along the corner of his eye in a small effort to rub away the smeared black eyeliner and glittery powder. Looking into his face with what she hoped was a reassuring expression as seeing him in such a state over so little of a thing had her wanting him to smile. Glancing down at the dangly, star earring in his lap, she brought her eyes back over his own. Sil spoke before she even thought over what it was she was saying, idly figuring it was alright to as it was the first thing that came to her mind when she saw him. He looked like a shooting star.

"You're beautiful."

Nimble's lips quivered when she stopped him from smearing the makeup more, flinching at the fact that she touched him in such an anxious spot--right near his only hand. When she touched his hot cheek, he didn't know what to do... He believed now that she wasn't going to ridicule him, and that surprised him because of her typical human culture. But at her last words, his ears fell limp again and he blushed even more, feeling a creeping sob rise deep in his throat. He felt such a swelling of acceptance, relief, and belonging... he didn't even realize before his face was streaming with tears. "...No one's e-ever said that ta m-me," he explained quietly, cursing himself for being such a crybaby and making his makeup even worse now. He shut his frowning mouth and wiped the tears that had pooled at his chin, sniffing and finally meeting Sil's gaze again. He didn't think it was physically possible to smile at her now, but his shimmering pink eyes showed his intense gratitude for such a simple, yet piercingly meaningful compliment. His voice was almost a whisper. "Thank you..."

Sil felt like her heart was breaking as he trembled more and tears started flowing down his face. She sadly did believe him when he said no one had said such a thing to him and she wondered if he had a wish to wear such a ensemble out somewhere. It was an extravagant dress and even she thought it was a waste that he had to hide in his room like this. Seeing his makeup start to run as he sniffed, she couldn't help herself this time and moved forward to hold him. Her arms under his and hands over his bare back, pressing him close to her like she had done so the night she woke up and cried in front of him. Sil once more spoke quietly in an effort to help calm him as she rubbed his back in small circles.

"It's okay.. it's alright.. You're allowed to cry.."

Not caring if he got tears and makeup over her shoulder, Sil gently moved a hand along the back of his neck and head. Hoping he felt more secure in her arms as she knelt in front of him, still a little taller than he was even like this.

"I've got you.."

Nimble was immediately grateful for someone to hold on to... he had many friends but he very rarely shared anything personal with them--and if he was honest with himself, he really needed a hug. He wouldn't have been able to stop himself even if he wanted to, and as he wrapped his arms around her and pushed his face into the human's shoulder, a long, breathy sob escaped him.

"I-I shouldn't... hhn... I'm sorry, we're suh-supposed ta... *sniff* work on ya leg..." he whimpered. "You're alre-ady... usin' it so well! Heh... B-bad timin'... on my puh-part..." He continued to frown miserably against her, feeling his whole body seize up with another sob and his hands moved up on her back. He felt so accepted and appreciated, and for some reason it hurt his whole being. He was embarrassed and shameful just before, but now he felt as though he really did look beautiful.

As Sil just held on to him and let him unload on her, She mused at how small he felt in her arms as he trembled and sobbed and was content to let him. It wasn't so bad and actually felt a little nice to be able to comfort him so much as she knew how such interests were hard to enjoy and often done behind closed doors. Wishing to help ease him some more and reassure him that she didn't judge him over such a thing, she chuckled softly and spoke warmly.

"It's fine, Nimble. Really.. and yeah.. I'm actually late because I got.. lost a few times. The leg is perfect though. And hey.."

Moving her hands to rest over his bare shoulders, she moved back from him so she could look into his tear-streaked face with a kind smile.

"If I'd have known.. I'd have brought my bag with me. I've got plenty of dresses I have no interest in that need a good home."

Sil idly rubbed his shoulders with her thumbs as she held him, moving a hand up, she gently moved the back of her fingers across his cheek. The eyeliner he wore had ran and smeared and she wished her presence hadn't upset him so much and ruined his makeup. She really did think he looked lovely and once more was confused over herself for thinking such things. Moving on from the thought, she ran a curious hand over the neckline of the dress and thought that goblin females must really like to dress flashy. {Males too now she knows.} The bead-work and sparkles were very intricate and caught and reflected light brilliantly.

"Hm.. I'd have to adjust them them a bit to fit though.."

Nimble sniffed loudly and shrugged a little when she pulled back, gratitude and happiness finally showing in his eyes as he let himself grin slightly.

"Hehe... I knew the l-leg was good. Let ya f-friends know about me. *sniff* Get my nuh-name out there... Heh..."

At the mention of her dresses, he felt a few more warm tears slide down his face, and his eyes widened with a furrowed brow.

"Ruh-really...? I dunno... what ta suh-say... I sold the rest o' what I had t-to buy this..." he motioned down at himself, then looked back up at her and swallowed, trying to regain some composure.

"I ain't a lady... I jus'... *sniff* I-I dunno..." Trying to explain himself made him suddenly get more flustered and afraid. His mind could reel right back to the times when he'd lived in fear of being hurt for wearing his sister's clothing, and the words stopped in his throat--he couldn't utter anything else. I like looking pretty, he explained to himself inside his head. And those kids... were just assholes... But no matter how many times he told himself that, it was still hard to believe. He cleared his throat and avoided her green gaze, not knowing wether he felt great or awful.

"Anyway..." he mumbled through his returned frown, "I never told no one... since I got ta Kalimdor... so uh... *sniff* th-th... mh-hnn--" he had one more sudden, soft onslaught of sobbing to himself, while also trying to rub the stinging makeup out of his eye and bending over.

"Th-thanks f'not... makin' fun o' me..." he muttered. Even though he was still crying, he felt remarkably better about himself with Sil's support. He couldn't believe he'd found such trustworthiness in a human warrior.

Sil had always made sure to keep up a tough facade in her life, never crying in front of others and hating appearing weak or worthless. Yet she had broken down in front of this goblin and seeing him in such a state had her own eyes start to prickle with tears. Keeping her hands over his shoulders, she slid them up and down his arms slowly in an effort to try help ease him and still speaking in a soft, calm tone.

"I would never make fun of you Nimble.. especially not for this.. I think.. I can understand.."

She tilted her head a little as she looked down at him for a moment, glancing around the room and spotting what she needed. Sil quickly rose and grabbed a few tissues, kneeling down in front of him, she gently rubbed his face with a small, concentrating frown. Moving her hand slowly, she carefully cleaned his cheeks and his jawline with a hand while she used the other to cup the side of his face. It didn't get rid of all the makeup, but it did help dry his face as yet more tears fell.

"Is-.. do you just.. feel more. Like yourself? Like.. um.. you want to feel beautiful?"

She just wanted to understand and hoped she wasn't prying and that by doing so, actually helped him in some way if he talked about it. He never had someone to, he said so himself and Sil couldn't imagine having to keep something like that to herself. She had friends to confide in and talk to. Her voice was void of judgement and just full cautious curiosity, not wishing to have him shy away from her and open up some more.

Nimble's brow stayed pinched as she wiped his face, feeling somewhat like a child but not stopping her. His lip trembled as she helped clean him up--for the second time, even. Sil had seen more of his true self than most anyone, and still she didn't treat him differently or hold any kind of judgement. He thought he may as well try to explain it to her.

"I... *ahem.* I dunno... there's a lotta expectation ta be s-sorta macho...? An'... I'm not. That's not everythin' though!" he quickly explained through the tissue on his face, looking a little worried.

"It's just... I do feel fine, wearing anythin'. But, when, it's... *sniff* when it's feminine like this, it... feels and looks more like... Nimble. Like there's more o' my insides showin'... like I d-don't gotta hide..." he cast his eyes down shamefully.

"But I g-guess I hide, still. Most goblin folk don't care very much, but... k-kids'll use anythin' against ya, and I guess I'm jus'... still a kid... I dunno."

He looked down at his dress, a small smile creeping back as he remembered how good he looked before he ruined his makeup.

"Doesn't change anythin' about me," he almost spoke to himself, now. "Just feels good, ta look pretty... but I'm suh-still... the same guy." He looked back up at her with a sort of lost expression, tears welling again as he thought of the question that constantly killed him inside. He spoke without thinking.

"Why didn't my folks understand that...?"

Nodding a little as he explained, Sil cast aside the dirty tissues onto the floor so she could sweep them up with the debris later. Taking in all that he said and wondering if that accident with his hand was a result of him being bullied because of all this. Nimble's question as he looked at her, had her still for a moment in troubled thought. Sil could somewhat understand all that he's gone through and still going through, just because of how he is inside. Looking off at nothing, she idly held both his hands in his lap, rubbing her thumb over the top of his real hand.

"I think.. some parents just have certain expectations of us.. they never.. never really see you as you own person but more of.. a stepping stone to get ahead in life.."

Knowing that she was speaking more from her own experience rather than trying to offer him an explanation of his own parents, Sil tried to think why and couldn't find anything.

"I guess we both got unlucky with who our parents were.. but it's not our fault and.. I'm.. sorry you feel the need to hide this..Kids can be so horrid.."

The warrior was sincere in that statement and hoped it didn't come off as too lame. She was lucky that most women in armor and performing the roles and duties of men wasn't all too frowned upon and she felt a little blessed for that and wished the Nimble didn't have to hide. In an effort to try and make the conversation lighter again, Sil smiled warmly once more as she spoke and gently squeezed his hands.

"And you really do look pretty.. even with most of your makeup gone."

Nimble nodded in agreement, feeling a little better now that his face was drier and he wasn't scared like he had been at first. But when Sil mentioned her parents, he remembered the news her priestess friend had told him--and he was about to say something, but remembered that Sil didn't even know that he knew that her father was dead... He didn't want to bring it up in case it made her upset.

Still he felt like he needed to hear what she said... about his parents whom she didn't know, and about it not being his fault. It was so easy to believe that he was at fault--if he was only someone different... But he remembered that it just couldn't be on him. He hadn't done anything to hurt anyone.

At her last remark, he suddenly laughed with a kind of happy sob. A smile leapt onto his face while his eyes were still sad, and more tears started to run down his face.

"Dammit. Y-you're makin' me ruin it even muh-more... hehehe..." He didn't want to take his hand away from hers to wipe his face, so he just let his head drop with a sad giggle. He couldn't believe she would say that, and likely mean it. It felt so important... "Thank ya, Sil," he mumbled bashfully, feeling beautiful again.

Then he lifted his head and glanced toward the mirror, exasperated at his ruined makeup.

"...Such a crybaby," he told himself.

#wow #world of warcraft #fanfic #roleplay #story #goblin #art #crossdresser #crying #oc #nimble #sfw #im not sorry #i hope you guys like

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the-witch-and-her-husbands · 7 years

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Christmas Gala

Early December. Tonight was to be the annual Christmas Gala, a ball that Alan’s agency threw every year, officially recognised as the start of the holiday party season.

Jil had spent all afternoon in preparation, wanting to look her best so her husband would be proud to be seen with her on his arm. She envied him. All he had to do was throw on a tuxedo and he would look as gorgeous as he always did.

She, on the other hand, needed AGES to get ready. Officially, she’d begun last weekend, having booked herself in to have the highlights on her hair touched up and some sprucing and waxing. She’d craved a facial, but this latest pregnancy was playing havoc with her skin and she didn’t dare do anything to upset the balance.

The first thing on her agenda that day had been to have her nails done early that afternoon. She’d chosen a clear base with silvery sparkly glitter, very festive and one that would last her instead of being custom tailored to the dress she was wearing that evening.

After that, it had been time to pick the boys up from school before returning home to do her hair and makeup. At least Alan had arranged to come home from work early so he could watch the boys while she’d spent AGES making sure she looked perfect.

Primer was first, of course, to smooth her skin and minimise her pores. Then while that was settling into her skin she’d done her hair. She had straightened it for that evening, which took AGES. Then the rest of her makeup: liquid foundation applied with a stippling brush so that she looked airbrushed to perfection, dark green eyeshadow that had a touch of glitter in it and matched her dress exactly, eyebrows on fleek, lashings of mascara so that it looked like she was wearing fake eyelashes, and finally a touch of nude gloss for her lips.

Her dress was a deep emerald green that sparkled when the light fell on it. It fell to just above her knees, a modest length becoming someone who was an expectant mother. It was a bit clingy, and she worried that her fledgling bump was already beginning to show. But there was nothing much she could do about it, not willing to risk harm to her babies by squeezing into a foundation garment. The look was completed with a pair of sparkly heels that looked like silver brethren to the ones that Dorothy wore to dance down the yellow brick road of lore. A lightly scented cloud of Bond No 9 was the finishing touch.

She’d emerged from the walk-in wardrobe into their bedroom, where her husband was waiting for her. Once he’d laid eyes on her he’d let out a low wolf whistle as he opened up his arms in invitation.

‘Will I do?’ She smiled up at him as she stepped into his waiting arms.

‘Darling, you’re going to be the most gorgeous, sexiest person there. What I wouldn’t give to tear the clothes off your hot body right this second,’ he purred softly as he’d run his hands over her curves.

‘If you do that, we’ll be late.’ She’d smiled as she’d stood on tiptoe to kiss him, careful not to get any makeup on him.

They’d managed to resist temptation. Now, they were in the midst of the gala, which was in full swing. They’d seen others and been seen, did the appropriate amount of required hugging and catching up with old friends, and partaken of the buffet, which was as delicious as always.

Underneath silver baubles that hung from the ceiling, they spun slowly in each other’s arms. As always, it seemed like everyone else in the world had ceased to exist, save for the two of them as they revolved in time with the music.

‘This feels like a dream,’ she murmured softly as she gazed up into his twinkling eyes. ‘I don’t want this moment to ever end.’

‘Mmm. I do. But only because I can’t wait to get you home. You look so gorgeous, that all I can think about is making love to you for hours.’ He smiled down at her through heavy lids.

She blushed. ‘Oh, darling. You flatterer.’

‘It’s true,’ he protested gently. ‘As I predicted, you’re the best looking, sexiest person in the room. I’m so proud to call you mine.’

‘No. It’s ME who’s proud to be seen with you, that I am yours and you are mine.’ Anyone who was looking could see the intensity in her eyes, that she meant what she said.

All too soon the final dance had been danced, and the gala was over for another year. They said their thank yous and good nights, stepping out into the cold air to wait for their taxi. He insisted on wrapping his suit jacket around her shoulders to keep her warm. She protested, not wanting him to catch cold, but she snuggled into it happily when he insisted.

The streetlights played over them as they cuddled together in the back of the taxi. Her head was on his shoulder, her eyes closed from both tiredness, but also bliss. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her even closer into him. A tender, affectionate kiss was placed to the top of her head before he rested his chin on it.

Both of them were thinking of the lovemaking that awaited them once they were tucked up in their bed for the night.

The perfect end to a magical evening.

#drabble #v:His Leading Lady

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cutiecrates · 5 years

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Cutie Reviews: Kira Kira Crate Feb 19

Welcome to the February 2019 Kira Kira Crate review :3 Sorry if I kept anyone waiting but good news, the next Gacha Gacha crate showed up so if you enjoy those reviews I’ll be getting to that one very soon!

This months theme: Treat Yourself

“February is all about love so why not treat yourself with goodies? This crate features makeup and other items to make you feel and look your best!“

Fluffy Head Wrap Towel

Our first item is this ultra-handy head wrap, an item that makes drying your hair naturally a breeze and provides you with free hands to do your makeup, or remove it and wash your face.

For this box, the wrap was available in Sugar Pink and Macaron Purple.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I’m sure a lot of you can relate when I say drying your hair after a bath or shower can be a little frustrating at times. I have really long hair and I don’t like to use a blow-dryer, so I usually squeeze out my hair multiple times in and out of the bath, wrap a towel around it and try to dry it more but it never dries to the point of not dripping.

I know it’s not a big deal but it’s a little peeve of mine so I was eager to try this out. It’s really easy to put on and it did well holding up my hair after washing it, it didn’t falter or shift or anything. It was a little tight though and after a while I really wanted to take it off- but by then my hair was nearly almost dry, no drips at all. I definitely approve of it!

Shikioriori Tsubaki Cleansing Oil

Our next item is a cleansing oil perfect for removing the makeup and impurities on ones skin after a long day. It also moisturizes and tones the skin, but it’s recommended to be used on dry skin prior to washing the face or using a normal cleanser, as there will be an oily residue.

It has a scent, but I can’t identify it. It’s one of those typical/common scents I often mention, although I do pick up a floral background.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I’m not huge on oils (unless its the kind you use in warmers or diffusers), but sometimes they can be really beneficial and do your skin some good. It definitely does its job, it easily removed the lip product and eyeshadow I got in this box; it didn’t require any hard scrubbing, it only took one or two swipes, and there’s no residue of the makeup left behind.

Pure Smile Sheet Mask

Next is this unusual Pure Smile facial mask that is part of the Black Mineral Series and includes collagen, natural minerals (sea salt according to the pamphlet), and hyaluronic acid and is scented after Brown Sugar.

What also makes this mask unique is that it’s BLACK colored :P usually Pure Smile masks are plain, with the exception of the decorative ones.

Rating: ♥ ♥

It smells decent, kind of like maple but sort of off... I smelled brown sugar more while wearing it, rather than in the pack. Meanwhile I didn’t realize notice any actual changes to my skin after wearing it, and I thought whatever effect it did have wore off really quick.

Kiss Holic Lip Gloss

Kiss Holic comes in this months box, a lip gloss that is perfect for any date or makeup that gives the lips a brilliant shine. In the box it was available in 2 different shades, the one I got is Sweet Pink. I’m not sure what the other is called though, as there isn’t an image of it.

This was my attempt at showing the product, because unusually I noticed that while there is plenty of color (the more applied that is) it won’t show up on the lips. It might just have to do with the natural color of my lips though.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

In terms of a gloss it provides a lot of shimmer and remains on the lips for a long while after but I did notice that the entire time my lips were sticky. I didn’t like it very much but it wasn’t that bad either, so I didn’t have much problem wearing the product.

Now if I had been outside and it was windy then that would be another story...

Malibu Eyeshadow Quad

Our final item is another pretty palette by Malibu. This “quad“ provides four shimmering shades to create a multitude of looks; from the every day to the smoky eye and evening out. I also noticed that the back of the product lists the individual colors of each component, so if you were a fan of Malibu Beauty and buy the products you could look or the specific number.

And here’s my hand again demonstrating the 4 colors; we get a pearly white, a gorgeous silver, golden-brown, and smoky black. Keep in mind the colors are much brighter in person, I had to tone down the color of my phone to get them visible.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I like the versatility behind the palette, and I actually think it doesn’t look too bad. I liked all the colors, and they apply very easily without much product. My eyelids didn’t feel heavy or anything while wearing it, and I like how they brightened them.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Theme - 2 out of 5. I’m not giving them a low score based on the fact I don’t really feel Valentines in this theme and with they had gone for that, but because I don’t really see how these items treat oneself. Like these items are average, every day items someone would use for whatever you know? I feel like treating oneself would be facial masks, foot pads or soaks, you know, pampering stuff.

Content - 5 out of 5. I liked all of the items, I didn’t really have any big problems with them. But at the same time, I felt like the face mask was a bit lackluster, and the lip gloss was pretty basic in my opinion.

Total Rank: 8 out of 10 Cuties. I really thought the items were nice, I’m definitely grateful for the head wrap and the cleansing oil. I kind of wish the box had gone for more of a Valentines theme though, and was super-cute and pink! I felt like the NMNL box excelled in the February aspect, while this box could have honestly worked for any month.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Head Wrap Towel - It’s nothing special to look at but I love how soft and fluffy it is! I also really like how useful it is, I love it.

2. Eyeshadow Quad - It’s so shimmery and sparkly, seeing how nice each color looked actually makes me want to try some new things.

3. Cleansing Oil - It smells nice when using it and the bottle itself is also really pretty too~ It’s also very helpful and I am very happy to have it; it’ll save me a lot of time cleaning my face.

4. Lip Gloss - Even though it’s not visible on the lips the color itself is pretty. I did like how smooth and shimmery it was, even if it’s a bit sticky it’s not the worst I’ve used.

5. Facial Mask - It smelled nice, but the scent was kind of wishy-washy and I didn’t notice this mask actually do anything for my skin. It was relaxing though.

#kirakiracrate #kiss holic #malibu cosmetics #pure smile #cutie reviews

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spektijim · 7 years

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Hello everybode!

A month ago I ran the Derby 10k for The Trussell Trust, who run food-banks in the UK.

A little more than a month ago I posted a blog about the fact that I would be dressing as a Unicorn to do it.

Well, never let it be said that I let my public down, because that’s exactly what I did, and here is the picture evidence!

1. Ears and Horn

The ears were the first thing I made, using some felt I had acquired during a mad felt-buying spree (fellow craft addicts – you know how these things happen) several years ago.

Nearly finished ears!

Being me, a lot of the felt was pink, and so it was an easy start.

Next was the horn – I decided early on that the basis of this, the most important part of the costume, should be an alice band, as many people on Pinterest had shown the way with their own unicorn horns – onto this would fit a ‘head-dress’ with horn and ears.

I used the time-honoured cereal box and toilet roll tube as a base. There really should be some kind of tribute – a poem or song – to these crafty stalwarts which have saved many a parent (and even more so their children) every end of term, Halloween or birthday party.

These were covered with tissue paper (first white, then pink) and decorated with acrylic paint and plastic gems. The inside was painted purple and eventually it was hot-glued to the alice band – hooray! My horny head-dress was my pride and joy.

Getting shiny…

Grumpy, craggy unicorn.

My pink horn. Ooh err missus!

I was just putting some extra gems on two days before the race when I realised…I nearly forgot to add the ears!

Because I’d started on them so early they had completely passed out of my memory – sadly the full ears were a little too big to work with the head-dress, so I trimmed them in half and glued them on. A sad fate but the result was pretty good, if I do say so myself!

2. T-Shirt

This T-shirt was one I bought last year for a costume, but I ended up using a long-sleeved on instead- it seemed perfect for this task, just needing some careful applique. This was my first time using applique and I have to say I am now hooked. It was much easier than I first thought and produced some great results.

I cut the pieces I wanted out of paper first, then ironed a rectangle of the bondaweb on a piece of material, slightly bigger than I needed, then traced around the original paper and cut out the shape. This worked well because, like interfacing, the bondaweb makes the material slightly stiff and easier to cut through. Then I ironed each piece onto the t-shirt – it looked pretty darn good. Sad to say I think I spoiled the perfection by securing each piece with some stitches, as it cause the fabric to ruck up in places, but I suppose it was worth it knowing they wouldn’t fall off mid race.

The lettering was in the always unpredictable 3D Pearl paints – it work eventually but the mix kept on going wrong and sinking into the fabric, hence why it’s not quite as neat as it could have been! I added extra stars with some acrylic paint and it was all ready for running!

The colours might also give a subtle clue to something. Maybe.

3. Tail

The tail was a relatively easy build – using strips of felt sewn together and then sewn into a tube (and sealed), I more or less cut of random sections of gauze to put in – finished off with a couple of hot-glued gems, of course!

On the day of the run it was attached using that age old tail-attached- safety pins!

At this point in the making I got a chance to visit the local Trussell Trust food bank in Sawley to make a food drop – a wonderful friend of mine very kindly drove me there and took some photos of the nearly-finished cozzy…

My donation to the trust!

Posing with a lovely volunteer at the foodbank!

Posing with Twilight Sparkle!

4. Finished Article

The finishing touch to my look was, of course, makeup.

I have been getting pretty good at day-to-day makeup recently (though I don’t actually wear it day-to-day, more’s the pity) but I thought I should go one better for this unicornage. Of course, sparkly was the order of the day with the majority of the leg-work being done by eyeshadow (isn’t it always?).

I used four different colours, starting with a dark blue in the corner of the eye, working through purple into pink, with silver below the eye, topped off with liquid eyeliner and mascara. So sparkle, much glitter!

5. The Race Itself

The Derby 10k took place on the morning of a lovely sunny day – thankfully it started at 9am so it wasn’t roasting (as it became at midday) but mild. I have to be honest, I wasn’t at my best – my right knee had been giving me some problems after my last 10k practice and I hadn’t run in about a week – that is a sensible part of the ‘tapering’ process common to running but it meant that I’d had no opportunity to test my leg, and was worried it might go wonky at the starting pistol or – even worse – halfway round!

I arrived a little late (thanks to putting on my makeup – damn my vanity!) and had to join a queue of about 10 million to put my bag into safe storage, as I would be starting all on my own.

The moment I dropped it off I had to hot-foot over to the starting line which was already bustling the four top tiers of runners – A-D. I was group B – as I’d waited to put my bag away I’d found myself worrying if I’d been perhaps a bit ambitious – perhaps even hubristic – as I saw much more keen looking runners in groups C and D.

It was barricaded all along the side with such a press of people I had no idea how to get over and into the fray. Eventually I was naughty and hopped over the barricade, there being no wardens around to either advise me or prevent my scandalous behaviour.

Although 10k is enough distance for you to find your pace by about mid-way and join the runners who are your natural speed-mates, it is frustrating to have to start in such a tightly packed knot that you lose valuable seconds at the off.

Still, all this aside, I tried to give it my all – I smiled at the wardens and the cameras, gave high fives to a couple of kids, waved at people pointing to ‘the nice lady dressed as a Unicorn!’ and kept up a decent pace. As I drew in they announced my time but I was wearing headphones (safe ones, I promise!) and missed it – all I knew was they were calling 58 by the time I’d collected my bag and gone to meet my friends.

I had to wait until that evening to discover that I had come in 892nd of 3208 at a time of 49:57 – my goal of being under 50 minutes was reached, if only by a hair!

I sadly don’t have any pictures of me actually running in the 10k (there were some by a professional photographer by I haven’t got the money to buy one right now – maybe another time!) but I do have one right after – as you can see, I was quite tired. Most of my makeup melted.

6. The Aftermath and What’s Next

Thanks to the generous support and donations from friends and family, my running with a pink sparkly horn managed to raise (drum roll please)….

£365!

Not too shabby! Way off my target of £1000, but I knew that goal was over-ambitious anyway. So, what’s next? Well, I plan to continue supporting the Trussell Trust in whatever way I can – I haven’t had a chance to volunteer for them yet but I have got my papers so I will be signing up soon!

If you feel that my banging on about it for ages has made you care about people who need food-banks and more, please do start a monthly donation for the trust or bring stuff for a food parcel – trust me (groan) it’s worth it! Depending on the result on the election on June 8th, we may sadly find ourselves needing them more and more.

On the running side I am planning to do the Wilne 10k in September, a nice break before a new challenge, and am also signed up to my local Park Run at Markeaton parkMarkeaton park – join us there every Saturday at 9am! Although I won’t be dressed as a unicorn there, sadly.

Thanks once again to all my lovely pals who contributed, you are awesome and I love you.

Spekti out!

Flight Of The Unicorn Hello everybode! A month ago I ran the Derby 10k for The Trussell Trust, who run food-banks in the UK.

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spoiledsplendid · 5 years

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2019 Academy Awards Fashion Critique

It was the biggest awards night of the year for show-business. This year we saw lots of common trends in what the celebrities wore: capes, sparkle, shades of pink, the return of pants and men in velvet tuxedos. More than any other awards show I’ve seen, the celebrities came dressed well. Some played it safe, but lets take a look at who shone bright (and the few who didn’t).

BEST

Awkwafina - She looked badass in this perfectly tailored DSquared2 sparkly pink tuxedo. The oversized bow at the neck gave it some interest. The tossled hair and light makeup were perfection. Chopard jewelry was the perfect icing on the cake.

Melissa McCarthy - Melissa never looked better than in this feminine take on a tuxedo. The white and black satin caped outfit with tuxedo pants hits all the right notes. If I was going to be picky, I would have gone with a slimmer cut on the leg, but now I’m knit-picking. She looks elegant and gorgeous and very on-trend.

Octavia Spencer - Octavia was glowing in this glittering blue Christian Siriano gown. The colour was perfect on her. She looks relaxed and ready for a win. Her hair and makeup are great. Loves it!