#Starter/Plotting Call: School is in Session

[eraserisms]

Blog Tag drop

[altrxisme]

— altrxisme — 

indie multifandom rp blog // dual oc muse // written by bourbon 25+ // nsft tagged // beta editor

activity status: low activity ; school session ; running queue blog roll: @xenjoyedthat

info  // verses  // nav // thread-related nav perm. starter / plot call // spicy thread call

rules below

Rules

++ First things first: Thank you for stopping by to read this!

++ Secondly, if you are a personal blog without roleplay sideblogs— I appreciate the follow, but PLEASE refrain from interacting from ANY of my posts on here. Liking my posts is tolerable at best but if see that you reblogged any of my threads, I will ask you to take it down. If you do it again or don't respond to the first message, I will block you. You're invited to look, not touch.

++ The blog is NOT mutual exclusive, but it IS semi-selective. I have two jobs on top of being a forever university student. I'm always willing to see how we roll and vibe, but know that I reserve the right to decline a plot and/or roleplay with you. It's an intimidating thing to read, yes— But don't let that discourage you from reaching out!

++ LGBTQIA+ & BIPOC Friendly. All muses and muns are welcome here! If I say or do anything that makes you uncomfortable, please shoot me a message to let me know.

++ I do multiverse and multiship. I recommend going into the verse page and reading the info for whichever verse you’d like to thread with me in. They’ll give you LOADS of information on both Jackson and Johanne.

++ Muse / Chemistry. I prefer building up the relationship between my muses’ and yours. Either pre-established or build that up through interactions. For pre-established relations, just hmu and we'll see how it goes!

***If you as the MUN, not the muse, keep pushing for a certain dynamic even after I made it clear that I can’t / don’t want to, I will block you. No means no.

++ English not your first language? No problem! If anything, I would love to help you with it in any way that I can.

++ A majority of the gifs / icons / gifcons used here are not mine. There are some icons made by me; if you would like to use them please direct yourselves to my manip/edit blog: batangulapedits.

In regards to Threading...

++ NSFT / NSFW material is present. I'm 25+ and am cool with writing darker, violent, dubious, and sexual topics for the most part. On that note, I prefer that you're 21+ (obvs legal reasons) and to get to know you a little better before writing such threads. If you're of age but prefer fade to black and just loosely discuss what happened through IM, that's cool with me too!

These threads will be tagged accordingly (nsft) and will be put under a cut. If there is anything else specific you would like tagged, please message me. I usually tag a few triggers as they are because of how general they are ( ex: ‘blood’, ‘knives’, etc… ) and others with ‘ tw ’ after them ( ex: ‘ death tw’ , ‘ gore tw’ , etc… )

++ If you like a starter/plot call, please have something in mind— this is a loose policy I have when it comes to initial plotting. The rpc scene here has been very skittish and anxious over the decade and I understand, but someone's gotta make a move sooner or later.

++ Do not be afraid to take your time when replying. I understand if you are busy or have a hard time finding inspiration to type it up. It is your blog, and your reply.  All I ask is that you be patient with me as well. I give a notice when I'm about to do a drafts and ask purge to keep me from being overwhelmed, if you want to know which specifics threads end up in it— just hmu.

++ I have starter calls, open starters, ask memes, thread suggestions, and even a verse-specific wishlist available on the verse pages you can look through! The perma starter/plot call are reserved for mutuals only, but the first three mentioned are free for all!

*** The only thing to keep in mind is that romance related ask memes. Unless you and I have discussed a pre-established relationship between our muses, I highly recommend that you stick with general ask memes.

*** Also, since I do not want this blog to be treated as an ask meme archive, please do not repeatedly reblog them from me. Please look for the source blog or an actual ask meme blog and reblog it from there.

If you've made it this far and still wanna rp with me: Thank you so much! I look forward to writing stories and screaming about our muses together!

[haesevng]

i feel like everything about this intro is messy as hell, but hey, it's more fitting than u realize considering the absolute idiot angel i'm bringing to the dash!! this is my son, SONG HAESEUNG, and he has literally no thoughts, head empty. at least he's pretty?? no but really, there is a deeper side to him, and he is a v sensitive artist type who's quite comfortable with himself and loves love. there's some more info under the cut (alas i have yet to write a proper bio rip me) and i rly look forward to writing with all of you!!

statistics. / wanted plots.

haeseung works as a primary school art teacher in mulmalu city, but his salary is terrible, so he teaches a recreational art class for all ages as a side hustle.

a VERY encouraging soul. as lame as people may think his life is, he is a ball of happiness over following his passion in life. he wants everyone to experience that same happiness.

he wasn’t always living the dream, however. when he was just a small child, his parents were both killed in a home invasion gone wrong, and haeseung was raised by his extremely strict and religious aunt.

it was a difficult transition, going from the happy and carefree childhood he’d once known to being forced to grieve something he didn’t fully understand under the roof of someone who didn’t understand him. even his inclination to the arts came under fire.

in her eyes, little boys weren't meant to paint and be artistic. they weren't supposed to be soft and gentle. they were meant to learn life lessons, grow up, put on a drab gray suit and head into an office every day until it was time to clock out permanently.

they were meant to marry a nice woman and settle down behind a picket fence with 2.5 children and an annoying doorbell.

haeseung was quite literally NEVER about that life. he didn't want to be surrounded by the boring gray of an office building. he wanted every shade of color all around him, all the time. and it wasn’t that he didn’t like girls, but his crushes had never been limited to just them, something he’d wind up never admitting to his family.

few of his classmates would have ever known he was going through such turmoil at home, as he was always bright and sunny; something of a class clown. his refusal to target anyone but himself as the subject of his jokes typically earned him laughter, praise and a surprising amount of respect from his peers.

school was something of an escape for him, as weird it it may sound for someone who was always a bit lacking in the academic success department. it was the ability to be who he was, to paint in his art class with his friends that really carried him through those years.

when he turned 18, he was finally able to spread his wings and explore the island he’d always called home, but never really got to experience. he’d been saving up every scrap of funds he could get from birthdays, part-time jobs, contest winnings and anything else he could think of to build up a small nest egg, all to escape the clutches of his aunt’s house and be free.

he took whatever odd job he could find on the island, supporting himself through college and perfecting his art style with whatever extraneous materials and paint he came across. it was a huge struggle, but it was truly the happiest he’d managed to make himself since the loss of his parents.

after earning his bachelor’s degree in fine arts, he finally landed the more steady gig he has today. he’s recently closed on a small starter home in jutaeg village, though it is bigger than any of the places he’s lived before. he even adopted his first dog, though he is mostly at a loss for what being a dog owner even means. and while he does still struggle with the memories of his childhood, attending a group therapy session to help cope with the trauma in healthy ways has added some much needed stability to his life.

in conclusion, haeseung is a big ball of art, love, affection, jokes, confusion & chaotic bisexual energy who falls for everyone at least a lil bit, and if you peruse his plots page, one person BIG BIT but that’s another storyyyy

pennyways, if you’d like to plot with him at all, pls be sexy and hit that lil heart below the post and i’ll im the heck out of u <3 <3

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

THE St. Jordi BCN Film Festival ’21 FILM REVIEWS

VOL. I: What’s Good!

by Lucas Avram Cavazos

YOUR #VOSEng take on upcoming international cinema premiering in Catalonia & Spain soon

To begin with, for a fellow who has for years been used to screening or viewing hundreds of movies annually, thereby spending hella time in cinemas, a global pandemic has been a true shock to the dork’s system. It has been a testament to the mindset of ‘the show must go on’ to see so many of our local and other European film festivals pushing back against the virus and powering through what could be deemed a safety issue by many. But basta! For starters, temp checks and hand sanitiser stations plus mandatory mask wearing have made a true return to movie going a half-wonderful respite. And so many thanks to Conxita Casanovas, Marien Pinies, David Mitjans, Cines Verdi BCN, Institut Francaise, and Casa Seat plus ALL the industry, press and movie lovers for making one of my favourite film festivals back to life for the half-decade anniversary. And I’m not just saying that for shits n’ giggles.

As an educator and broadcaster, history not only steeps itself within the confines of my classes, sessions and weekly radio/livestream shows, but every single one of us are literally living and walking and thriving through history, even as I scribe. So congratulations to anyone reading this, because you are Destiny's Child’ing it all over this place like drum n’ bass! On to the festival and cinema though please…

The St. Jordi BCN Film Festival revolves around the celebrated St. George’s/Day of the Book holiday here in Catalonia and so all the movies are based upon literary and historical works and facts. Red carpet moments and celebrities also make up the soirees and this year proved even better than others, with the likes of Johnny Depp and Isabelle Huppert being hosted by Cines Verdi, Institut Francaise and Casa Fuster. Depp, dressed as his character (I believe!) from his latest premiere Minamata -reviewed below- even mentioned that he would have loved to stay longer if he could keep Casa Fuster all to himself. And the day after her premiere for Mama Weed -also reviewed below- Huppert was seen being gorgeous at another film screening and then meandering about Gracia. But let’s speak about some of the movies that piqued my interest and will hopefully do the same to yours.

Petit Pays by Eric Barbier ####

Winner of Best Film at this year’s festival awards, Petit Pays tells a quasi-true story of family struggle during the Hutu vs Tutsi massacre that befell the gorgeous countries of Burundi and Rwanda in the early-to-mid 90s. But that is just the mere slice of what the plot truly entails. Focusing on little Gaby (Djibril Vancoppenolle) and his wee sister Ana (Dayla De Medina) as they make their way through childhood/pre-teen years, the plot thickens when the genocide starts to spill over and touch their lives, hectically lived with their Belgian father (Jean-Paul Rouve) and Rwandan mother (Isabelle Kabano, winner of the Best Actress award at this year’s festival). Truth be told, they do live in the lap of African middle class pleasantries, but as the film tenses up, reality sets in for all involved, including us viewers. The harsh reality that director Barbier fuses into the novel adaptation by French-Rwandan rapper/author Gael Faye seeks to display to the audience the truth of a genocidal history and how the sins of the parents always come back to burden or visit the children.

Where to watch: debuts in local cinemas 28/05/21

Promising Young Woman by Emerald Fennell ####

Oscar-nominated and local premiere hit Promising Young Woman had a stellar reception at this year’s festival and what a tour de force it turned out to be. The film plot revolves around medical school dropout Cassie Thomas (Carey Mulligan), who turns 30 and passes her time working at a trendy coffee shop but completely unmotivated whilst also continuing to live with her increasingly-worried parents. Years after her best mate killed herself, Cassie drags the guilt and loss along with her…until a blast from the past shows up, gets his coffee spat in and then falls head over heels into what will turn into a revenge tale beyond one’s craziest notions. A tale of loss that touches on modern themes in a frighteningly understandable way is few and far between these days. Fennell’s work here puts her on the map for sure.

Where to watch: in local cinemas NOW

Minamata by Andrew Levitas ###-1/2

This year marks 50 years since a collective understanding by world powers finally began to comprehend the enormity that factories create against Mother Nature and living creatures. It’s New York and 1971 when we find W. Eugene Smith (Johnny Depp), Life magazine photo journalist and one awash in a realm of problems. Then, adding to that drama, we find him suddenly embroiled on a task and mission that is presented by a couple of his fans, without his awareness that he has also stumbled onto a truth beyond wills. Environmental devastation affecting the innocent in Minamata, Japan is where we eventually spend the plurality of the film, and if you can get through the end scene of it without tears or shame of what mankind has wrought, you’re a tougher kid than I.

Where to watch: in local cinemas as of 30 April

Mama Weed by Jean-Paul Salomé ####

I cannot even begin to explain how much I absolutely enjoyed screening this film by the gifted and curious director Salomé, but it is without a doubt the tour de force work of ageless French star Isabelle Huppert that summons one to watch and compels them to laugh and engage. Undoubtedly, adapting any work of art from literature is never an easy undertaking, but the bringing to life of Patience Portefeux, a judicial interpreter for France’s investigation division, turns out to be crown jewel by Huppert. Serving up comical thrills, blithe acting when under insane pressure by duel forces and fierce Arab queen fashions, this film will have you white-knuckled, perplexed and laughing, all in tandem. THIS is an early-in-the-year film that deserves some attention!

Where to watch: in local cinemas NOW

My Salinger Year by Philippe Falardeau ###-1/2

Based on the like-titled autobio novel by Joanna Smith Rakoff, the movie stars Margaret Qualley as Joanna, an aspiring writer and young upstart in an NYC lit agency, whose tasks include many things, including answering the many fan mail letters that come for the agency’s fave writer J.D. Salinger, he of the oft-loved US American coming-of-age novel Catcher in the Rye. Even this guy connected to Holden Caulfield as a youth so when Joanna one day fields a call from Salinger and then gets caught trying to find endearing manners to respond to these grand fans, an incident leads to a coming-of-age awareness experience for Joanna and we the audience are the ones who are all the better for it.

Where to watch: in local cinemas on 4/6/21

[lixrk]

hi everyone! i’m velvet (or vel), this charming tsundere prince called yeosang’s mun! for more information on this grump, i have his profile here, and his background here if anyone’s curious. tldr; the bastard son between a ceo of a famous hotel chain and his maid. yeosang is currently on an identity crisis, stuck with a persona he developed to cope, struggling to be his true self. as for  his stance on becoming an idol, he isn’t as interested in the skills of being an idol as others in the industry, but more so in the attention and adoration that comes with being a star.

managed to think up of a few plots/connections/prompts, i’ll be listing them under the cut for anyone who is interested! i’d love to freeform too, though - super open to anything!

additionally, i put everything i listed here in a page for plots so it’ll be easier to go back to.

if you want to plot, whether it be something listed here, something from your side, or you want to brainstorm together, like this post and i’ll come to you! give me all the angst and fluff and everything in between.

also, also, also, i noticed that most muns here use twitter??? so i made a twitter to contact everyone else easily —@wowyoungie! feel free to follow and i’ll follow you back!

— behind the mask !  [1/1]

no requirements needed

The only person who knows how Yeosang is really like underneath that sweet-talking persona of his; awkward in expressing his feelings and maybe a little bit of a tsundere. Someone he can trust wholeheartedly.

— so that’s it !  [0/1]

males only

In blunt terms, his gay awakening. Could be a past or present thing. It doesn’t have to develop into anything serious either (a passing crush, he thinks you’re super cute, etc). You just pushed him to think and sent him into a more intense identity crisis.

— back then !  [0/3]

no requirements needed

Old friends Yeosang knew in the past. Maybe they were in the same dance club back in school, maybe not. Needs more plotting, this is a pretty open setting as it is so anything is welcomed!

— stuck together !  [1/1]

no requirements needed

Simply put, a roommate! Yeosang is living alone, and cutting the cost in half would be very helpful. He’s only a part-time worker, after all.

— envious admiration !  [0/1]

no requirements needed

You seem to have your life in order. You have a proper dream, you know exactly what you want to do, and you’re working honestly to achieve your goals, being true to yourself. Yeosang doesn’t like that, he doesn’t know himself, after all. He feels you have something that he doesn’t, and it drives him mad with jealousy. He tries to hide it, but he could only hide so much.

— change in scenery !  [0/1]

no requirements needed

A friend of Yeosang’s brother who used to play with him and his brother back in the day. Now that Yeosang’s relationship with his brother is rocky, he expects the same with you, and has been avoiding you because of that, though he kind of misses you.

— similar load !  [0/?]

either full-time or part-time host/hostess

Fellow host/hostess? Doesn’t have to be in the same club (but co-workers are more than welcomed). They could bond over their choice of occupation.

— do come again !  [0/?]

no requirements needed

Yeosang’s host clients! Could be regulars. or perhaps you were curious and wanted to try this experience out. No matter which one, this plot could go many ways. Maybe you want to befriend him outside of the club, or he wronged you in some way during your session. Endless possibilities!

— classic oops !  [0/1]

no requirements needed

Yeosang absolutely loves ice cream. He visits the ice cream parlour near his apartment building very often. Maybe he shouldn’t have eaten it while texting, though, because his ice cream somehow ended up on your shirt the moment he looked up.

— wanted connections !  [no limit unless stated]

no requirements unless stated

more friends, he’s a lonely guy.

a dance partner/dance group pls!

rivals!! he’s a pretty competitive guy.

exes. maybe it ended well, maybe it didn’t.

one night stands, perhaps?

friends with benefits, can develop into sth more or not. (male only)

romantic interests in general. (male only)

someone his parents forced to befriend some time ago.

— one line prompts !  [0/15]

no requirements unless stated

“Look, could be worse. You could be the one injured.”

“Then, why the hell are you even still here?”

“Okay, so, this won’t be very comfortable.”

“Will you shut up for one second?”

“I’m trying, okay! I’m really trying!”

“What are you saying? Of course I give a shit.”

“I don’t need protection. Not from you, or anyone else.”

“Right? If only murder wasn’t frowned upon.”

“Me? Getting attached? Pfffft. No way.”

“Did you just send me another meme? I should block you.”

“Shut up, I am iconic.”

“I wanna be so hot you’d be too intimidated to look me in the eyes.”

“You think I’m a good person? Haha, funny.”

“Didn’t realise you cared so much.”

“I was never one for goodbyes.”

**things don’t have to adhere completely to what was written! everything is discussable. we can combine things (whether with your plots/connections or my own), too! i’m open to anything, really.

***if there is a plot/connection you think this grump fits into, please feel free to message me! i’d be happy to work on it with you.

***i’d be happy to establish relationships to make charisma starters easier, but as stated before i’m open to anything!

[sworntolight]

General RP style and preferences

Repost, don’t reblog. Bold what applies. Strikethrough what does not. Elaborate on any points you’d like.

Please be honest, we all want to find the people who work best with how we RP. ____

Types of RP / How I do threads | I don’t I just do whatever is on my dash when I’m online | Mainly asks | I do little short things mostly | I do my threads on discord | Long running threads that slowly build upon the muses |

*I try to tackle replies by how many I owe and what the muses want first rather than forcing it, but I love longer threads that build things up?? Due to stress I’m slow so I can only do a handful of things before I burn out lately but <3 I try to stay caught up!

Plotting Preferences | Wing it | Get a general idea ooc and then run with it & plot further if need be | Long expansive thought out story arcs |

*...Can I bold everything? XD All of these work!

Type of threads I do / Prefer | Oneliners only | Whatever dash shenanigans I’m online for | Para or Mulit para | Literal Novels |

*Literal novels is my default for partners I’m super comfortable with and usually by accident XD Dash silliness is a case by case basis

Reply Speed for Threads & Consistency & Keeping threads | I lose threads all the time & don’t usually get back to them | I tend to lose threads but please tell me if I have and I’ll reply! | I drop threads pretty easily | I’m really slow but I WILL get back to you | I reply on a schedule/queue (specify if you’d like) | I usually reply within a week | I reply every day | I reply almost instantly |

*Tumblr eats activity like candy, so I lose things a lot - If it’s been like, 2 weeks with nothing, ask if I got it! I may not have <3 But as previously mentioned I’m slow lately and let my muses go where they want to first, but I try and get to things within a week or two <3 doesn’t always work but I try!

Romantic or sexual ships | I don’t do these ships (specify reason if you would like) | I’m not against them happening but it is not the main point of my blog | All ships will have to be super slow burn & discussed a lot OOC, super chemistry based (specify reason if you’d like) | I love doing ships, HMU I probably already ship it just ask! | I ship really quickly | I autoship or ship within a few interactions | I mainly RP for the cute ship fluff or smut |

*I run very few ships because it’s not my main focus, even in a ship. Who your muse is making out with and how many makeout sessions they can fit into a day isn’t my concern, I wanna see how the muses get along and handle life, which is why my ships focus on the growing closer and the day to day things rather than how many times they can hit on each over in an hour. I’m not against ships, I’m just overly picky with them these days and don’t want them to overwhelm my blog, regardless of how affectionate my girls are. ....Tl;dr: Mako and Kiku are affectionate but friendships plz. <3

Smut | I do NOT do smut at all (specify reason if you’d like) | I’m very selective about it | I only do it on a separate (blog/discord/specify here) | I mainly only do asks relating to the subject on Sundays | I write it a medium amount | I write it all the time and love to | 

*Not on dash, and not unless it’s with someone I’m close to.

Active hours [Specify Timezone, if you’d like] | Mornings 8-10 | Midday 11-1 | Afternoon 2-5 | Evenings 6-8 | Night 9-12 | Ungodly hours of the day 1-onwards |

Activity Schedule | SUPER slow and sporadic, like once a month or so | Slow and sporadic week long gaps between activity | Bi-weeklyish activity | Weekly activity (specify if there’s a certain time you have school/work/etc. off that you are most active) | Daily activity | I’m online nearly all the time |

Starters | I don’t do starter calls | I want to do starter calls but often don’t have time | I do selective calls (specify) | I don’t do calls, but always fee free to ask me for one! I do starter calls rarely/regularly/often |

*Anxiety sucks. <3 If I do one its rare. <3

AUs | I don’t do AUs | My blog is an AU but outside of that I don’t do them | I sometimes do them but only with a lot of plotting | I have a couple of AUs already feel free to request them! | I have AUs coming out of my ears please interact with them! | I love making AUs HMU to plot if you think of one! | There are some AUs I won’t do (No murder verses, nothing designed solely to traumatize someone and nothing else, nothing with the aim of only being toxic) |

*Love AUs <3 They usually need a bunch of plotting tho before kicking off!

Crossovers | I don’t do crossovers (specify reason if you’d like) | I’m selective with crossovers (specify reason if you’d like) | I love crossovers! |

*Just please, please, please don’t expect me to 100% drop my muse’s history/backstory/whathaveyou and conform completely to your setting for it! That’s part of the fun of crossovers, seeing how series A can fit into B - Communication is key!

[ourpyrrhicvictory]

so odds are i am dropping a good chunk of my threads. mostly ones that are more than 2 mos old. i just don’t have the muse for them. but ill be trying to get out new starters for those who have liked permanent starter calls or who i have plotted verses with. im in my last 2 weeks of this session of school though so it might take a bit. because i have muse for everyone but not really everything so.

[smilewithapurpose-archive]

//*pokes head slightly out of shadows*

I’m still around. Just.... A lot has gone on and I won’t bore you all with all of it unless you want to know some more details that I’ll stick under a readmore.

TL;DR: I got overwhelmed as fuck, my mental and physical health took a sharp dive and I’m still trying to pick up all the pieces, but part of my healing and goals is to return to what I love doing the most... Writing. So, that means I’m coming back, but ask you please take it easy on me for a bit as far as replies etc.

So, I thought that I found the career that was the one for me and that I loved what I do so much that I wanted to go to school to learn more and how to do it better and do more. I took a huge step and applied for and entered college. I thought, hey ya know what? I was pretty good at this school shit when I was in highschool like 15 years ago, I can take 3 classes and work a full time job easy peasy. I also thought that I had effectively dealt with past traumas and was starting to get my mental health back on control.

LOL WRONG.

My job started increasingly becoming worse and worse and more and more of an extremely toxic environment. Moreso than perhaps any other job I have had an no amount of speaking to HR or my manager is going to change that. The company values product and it’s seniority more than its growing employee base. Unless you have been there 10-40+ years like most of the people that I work with, then you are replaceable and mean nothing to them. The others can get away with anything and everything just because they’ve been there. Basically? I get bullied and pushed around and treated like dirt by a bunch of 60-70 year old bitchy women. It. Is. Miserable.

During all this work stress bullshit, I started school. I was in a constant state of beyond exhaustion. Some days I was in school from 8am-2pm and worked from 3pm-11pm. I barely had time to think let alone to do self care or even homework and study. So, I began failing a class for the first time since middle school. My self-esteem took a near fatal hit and my mental state was hanging on by a very short thread.

The next thing I knew, I was at work on the 4th anniversary of the day I had been robbed at knifepoint and had my supervisor making jokes about how I would never have enough PTO to get the surgery I need for my hands, then coming out and telling me I fucked something up and then another coworker telling me I fucked something else up. I couldn’t take it. I don’t know what came over me exactly, but it was like I was so angry and so upset that I disconnected from my own body. I remember crinkling up a document and slamming it into the bin where it belonged as I walked out of the lab and promptly found a desk that I slid underneath. Within seconds I was gasping for air and sobbing uncontrollably. Before I could even think, my fingers were at my face and I was clawing at my face over and over. I would have kept going until I shredded the skin off my face if it hadn’t been for a thought and voice inside my head of my therapist telling me if I needed him or needed any help I could call at any time. So... with shaking hands, and through uncontrollable sobs under a fucking desk, I reached out for help.

Eventually, a coworker came and found me as I was on the phone with my therapist who was getting me to leave work and consider heading to the hospital. Even then that was something I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to admit I was that far gone. I didn’t want to admit I was that scared of myself and I had lost that much control. I had never felt this before. My coworker tried to calm me and offer help by telling her everything was going to be okay and I was just having a bad day until I pretty much just screamed, and I do mean scream, that I wanted to kill myself and I wanted to die. This scared the shit out of me and embarrassed the fuck out of me because now these people that treat me like shit day in and day out have another reason to hate me and make fun of me. Now they could call me crazy.

Long story short, my coworker took me home where I continued my mental breakdown, but kept insisting that I didn’t need to go to the hospital. It wasn’t until I had an emergency session with my therapist the next morning and as I was in the waiting room I began rocking back and forth and crying. Before I knew it, a woman who was waiting there with her husband wordless got up from her seat and sat down next to me. This woman that I didn’t even know, still don’t even know her name, was seated next to me and wrapped her arms around me. She didn’t tell me things like “oh it’s just a bad day” or dismiss what I was feeling. No. She let me cry and she held onto me and told me that it was okay... That this will pass. That she knows this is hard and it hurts, but that it will pass. This woman I didn’t even know asked if she could pray for me and when she did her husband joined. They prayed for me. Even if I am not religious, her actions... Every single one of her actions... Fucking saved me that day. It was the single kindest thing that had ever been done for me in my life. 

I cried more and more and lost my control. The more I cried and the more I lost myself the more scared I got. I somehow managed to have a complete and total mental breakdown, face scratching and all, in my therapist office. I knew then that I wasn’t getting out of going to the hospital. They called my fiancee and as I left the office that day, still crying, I hugged that woman again with everything I had and I thanked her. She whispered to me that I would be okay and this would pass. 

I had to keep clinging to her words. Had it not been for the presence of my fiancee with me the entire time (which I still feel so horrible for because I never wanted to make her have to go through something like that or to add that much more stress on her) was about the only thing that got me through the most grueling 7 hours of my life. Nothing could have prepared me for being in a locked ward and feeling like I was this dangerous, insane monster that needed guarded. Nothing but awful yellowish walls to stare at and the sounds of someone else in the next room screaming that she was going to kill herself if she didn’t get her meds. I made a promise to myself then that I would do ANYTHING to make sure I didn’t wind up there in that room ever again.

After 7 hours, I was referred to an Intensive Outpatient Program that I’ll be attending 3-4 days a week for 3 hours for the next 4-6 weeks. That alone scared the shit out of me. I had no idea what to expect. But, somehow, it wound up being something I didn’t even know I needed so much. 

It’s hard and some days certainly are much better than others... My emotions are all over the place and it’s still a struggle, but ultimately? That woman in the waiting was right. This is hard, but I’m going to be okay. It’s not easy, but this will pass. It’s going to take time. Pain. Tears and work, but I’ll be okay eventually. 

So, I realized in all of this that giving up writing and being here on tumblr... a space that I had used for the last 7 years as my happy escape... Was not going to work. Somehow, I will find ways to still be here and to still write. I know it seems like maybe given the circumstances you would think I wouldn’t want to write Arthur/Joker, but it’s quite the opposite actually. I am well aware that killing is never the answer and that things didn’t turn out so great for him, but in his story I do see glimpses of hope even for me. I find strength there and strength is what I need right now. 

So... that’s what’s been going on. 

I’m not looking for pity or attention. Not at all. I just wanted to be able to get it out for the first time since it’s all gone on. I wanted to be able to write it down and I did.

Now... I’ll be posting some starter calls etc. I will ease back into those and all memes and any replies I owe. Forgive me if I am slow and nudge me if I am forgetting anyone or anything and certainly nudge me if you would like to plot etc. 

I have spring break this week, but a really close friend is coming to visit from out of state so I am spending time with him and my fiancee when not in treatment. I’ll be here when I can and even after I return to school etc, 

Thank you all for your patience and understanding. 

<3 J

[lesbianmonsterlover]

Waterfalls and Whirlpools (3)

Erin is pretty sure she’s going nuts, but at least the old school librarian is a peach who will take her mind off of it.

---

Erin’s sleep is fitful and filled with dreams of death and smoke, she isn’t sure from where.  She supposes her nightmares are another manifestation of her anxiety, and she’s concerned about whether she’s managed somehow to alienate the stranger on the other side of that book (or her second personality, but she’s not going to dwell on that possibility any longer than is absolutely necessary).  She’s never been great with social interaction, although somehow she feels as though she’s gotten worse and not better as the years have passed.  

Monday mornings have never been her favorite, even when she isn’t required to get up and head into work on that particular day it’s important to keep some semblance of a schedule.  So rolling out of bed at noon, as would be her preferred way to start the day, was out of the question.  No, instead she’s for whatever reason awake at eight in the morning without any real plans for the day other than “avoid the sun” after getting badly sunburned yesterday being so absorbed in the ‘conversation’ in the journal.

Pointedly ignoring the journal for now though Erin pads barefoot to the kitchen and starts on breakfast.  Still stinging a little from being abandoned mid-conversation, a feeling she’s a little too used to from the normal types of social interaction, she begins on some pancake batter.  Her figure and her therapist would tell you her relationship with food was not necessarily the healthiest.  Growing up, food had always been a source of comfort where there was otherwise a lack of support.  No friends?  Don’t worry, there’s still cake!  That habit persisted into adulthood, where we find her now making pancakes instead of confronting the uncomfortable reality of her most recent meaningful social interaction.  Let’s also ignore that talking through a book was her most recent meaningful social interaction, shall we?

As the griddle starts to heat up and the butter on it foams she pours the batter on in neat circles, humming to herself.  Pancakes used to be a family ritual, and it sends a bittersweet pang through her heart.  It’s warm and comforting to be sure, but she misses her father now more than ever.  A tall and imposing looking man, with a thick beard and heavy brow, but whose blue eyes would sparkle with joy and laughter whenever looking at her or her mother.  With a sigh Erin forces her attention back to the pancakes, finally ready to flip, and finds them perfectly golden brown on the first side.  “Thanks, daddy.”  She mumbles into the air, a soft sad smile on her face. 

It takes a few minutes to produce a tidy stack of pancakes and arrange them, appropriately buttered and stacked, onto a plate.  She takes the plate and silverware, along with a bottle of maple syrup, and sits cross legged in front of her coffee table on the soft carpet of the living room.  The TV is switched on and browsing through her choices she settles on some cartoon reruns and tunes out.  The pancakes are drowned in syrup, and the first perfectly fluffy bite makes her sigh in satisfaction.  By the time they’re gone she feels a little more awake and a little better.  She places the dishes into the sink to wash later, and as she moves to check the journal now that she feels a bit better she’s interrupted by her ringing phone.  The screen lights up with a local contact number and a name that seems familiar to some back portion of her brain.  “Hello?”

“Ah, hello dear!  It’s Catherine Forrester, I was hoping you could join me at the school today so we can begin going over the transition.  Summer school is in session so I thought it would be a good opportunity to get you used to the building before you start going it alone in the fall.”  Erin is pacing back and forth in front of the large window that overlooks the backyard.  

“Of course, Mrs. Forrester.  That sounds great, what time would you like me there?”  Chewing on the side of her thumb she listens to the older woman prattle on about the summer school session for a few minutes until she finally gets to the information Erin needed.

“So if you could come by around noon, while the kids are busy with lunch, that would be easiest I think.”  Erin hums in agreement before answering.

“Yes, of course, that makes total sense.  I’ll be there, I’m very excited to get started.”  Mrs. Forrester chirps back that she’s excited to meet Erin and to drive safely.  The journal is almost completely forgotten as Erin checks the clock only to see that it’s nearly eleven already.  With a groan of annoyance “why couldn’t she have called me just a little earlier…” Erin heads to the bathroom to shower, thankful that the water heater is full.  It only takes a minute for the water to get to a blessedly warm temperature, the bathroom beginning to fill with a light misting of steam, the mirrors slowly fogging up from the bottom.  

Erin showers as quickly as she can, although with the thick red curls on her head it still always takes longer than she’d like.  Once out she runs a towel through her hair and then a comb before pinning it up and out of the way, it’s quicker than trying to dry it.  Pawing through her closet she curses at herself for not doing laundry yet, as that green shirt dress would have been perfect.  Instead she settles for a slightly more structured dress in a pale blue cotton with little white flowers.  She smudges on enough makeup to look professional and put together, while hating that she has to do so in the first place, and by the time she’s out the door with her shoes on she’s left with ten minutes to make the drive. 

The school is situated on a plot of land just outside of the main town, a huge expanse of dedicated sports fields behind the quaint one-floor complex makes up a large portion of the footprint.  The school itself is small, but encompasses k-12.  Considering how small the town itself is the class sizes are tiny, even considering the surrounding small towns bus their kids here.  The parking lot has a smattering of cars in it, and Erin finds a shady patch to pull her car into before easing into park and pulling down the vanity mirror.  

A deep breath, in and out, repeated a few times, helps her feel ready.  “Alright, you know what you’re doing, you’re ready for this.”  Nodding to herself she flips the mirror up and grabs her bag before exiting the car and making the long walk to the front doors of the school.  The library is easy to find with the verbal directions Mrs. Forrester had given, and it’s 11:58 when Erin walks through the library doors. 

“Ah, Ms. Curett, thank you for joining me on such short notice!  Oh you look lovely.”  Erin is greeted with an enthusiastic embrace and a kiss on each cheek from the shorter older woman.  Catherine Forrester is a spry woman of nearly ninety.  At eighty seven you’d have thought she would be at home being doted on by her family, but she loved working too much to give it up.  Now though, she’s feeling her age a little too much.  It was getting harder and harder to chase after the children and keep order, especially when it came to the troublemakers of the school: ie those who would be forced to come back for summer school.  She’s short and slight, with a mane of long white hair she’s left loose hanging down her back.  Her face is wrinkled with laugh lines, the sign of a happy and full life, and her knobby hands are covered in silver rings and bracelets.  She’s dressed in long flowing skirts and blouses and looks like she spent her twenties and thirties as a hippie, and just never gave it up.  

Erin is mesmerized momentarily by the way her bracelets jingle when she walks, and the way the light catches her ice white hair.  Mrs. Forrester is beautiful in a very human way, and the energy she exudes says she wants everyone to feel the same.  It’s comforting for Erin, so she follows the older woman without question and listens to her chatter on happily about the library, the children, the town, her family.  Erin was happy to be a friendly ear, and by the time they’re getting ready to go home she’s learned very little about her duties but everything about her newest friend.  “School starts at nine tomorrow, sweetheart, so why don’t you meet me here at half past eight and we’ll share coffee and some secrets.”  The older woman pats Erin’s arm and gives her a wink, making Erin giggle and rub her slim shoulder. 

“That sounds great, it’s a date.  I’ll bring donuts if you bring that coffee you were telling me about roasting.”  The drive home is happy, and Erin makes a detour to the grocery store in town to pick up ingredients to make her own donuts.  If Mrs. Forrester is going to be roasting and grinding her own coffee, then Erin can make her own donuts.  “I’ve got my starter at home, and if I get up early I can fry them in the morning so they’re fresh…”  The plan is set, sourdough donuts.  Maybe with some cinnamon sugar.  

The dough is fairly quick to come together in the mixer with the dough hook, way too lazy to hand knead a sticky mess like this.  It goes in the fridge and the kitchen gets cleaned and readied ahead of tomorrow.  Dinner is easy leftovers, and it’s nearly nine by the time Erin even considers the journal again, sitting heavily in her desk chair staring down at it.  “I mean, I guess I could take a peek, if there’s nothing there, I’ll put it on my bookshelf and forget about it.”  Nodding to herself she sits before the book again and hesitantly opens it.  

She isn’t sure what she’s expecting.  Part of her is very much hoping that when she opens the journal this will have all been some strange fever dream, and the journal will show nothing but her entries until she maybe dozed off outside.  Considering she hasn’t looked at the book since she put it back into her pack yesterday it’s a real possibility.  She isn’t that lucky though, and when she opens the book to the last used page she’s confronted with a new message that she knows she didn’t write.

Erin doesn’t even notice she’s hyperventilating until she pushes back and tries to stand, going lightheaded and dizzy so quickly she’s forced to sit again.  “Focus on your breath, focus on your breath…”  She’s repeating directions from her therapist, counting in and out to five.  She grounds her feet to the floor, feeling her connection to the house, she focuses on her weight in the chair, the feeling of the fabric, in one two three four five, out one two three four five.  It takes a few minutes, but she opens her eyes and feels a little better.  

“This doesn’t make any sense.”  Erin is singing to herself tunelessly, a habit she picked up from her mother as a child.  “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the actual actual fuck.”  She pulls her hair down from its updo to run her fingers through her curls, a comforting nervous habit.  She reads and re-reads the conversation from yesterday.  “Okay, logically, either I’m going nuts which isn’t a conclusion I’m willing to reach at the moment, or...or this is some kind of...kind of...new...technology?”  She peters off at the end, voice high pitched and strained.  “Or magic is real, which I think ties back into the whole I’m nuts thing…”  She rests her head heavily against the edge of her desk, sighing gustily into her lap.  “Okay, so, going nuts it is I guess.  I already talk to myself I mean what’s one more thing.”

Erin sits up and rubs at her forehead, looking down at the open page that’s teasing her with possibilities.  “If magic is real, then maybe I’m actually talking to someone from some weird fucking fantasy country?  Should I just...run with this?”  She considers the options, but something inside her tells her not to just shelve the book.  “I guess I’m really going to run with this…”  She knew even as she was having her inner tantrum what the answer was going to be, there’s no way she could ignore this.  Growing up reading fantasy novels allows you to bring some sense of childlike hope and wonder at the world into your adult life. 

“If this is actually happening, then there’s no way I can let this pass me by.”  She nods in resolve and carefully re-reads the conversation on the page with a suspension of disbelief that has allowed her to enjoy many a piece of media.  The soft smile that overcomes her face as she reads the last message is at the mental image of whoever was on the other side falling asleep over the page, an action Erin herself has taken many times when she’s been too engrossed in whatever she was doing to properly go to bed.  

Ash, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you, I was called into work on short notice this morning.  If you’d like to talk and learn about my world I would love to teach you, because I would also love to learn about your world.  Your world sounds nothing like mine, bandits especially aren’t a problem where I am.  If you’re willing to teach me about Auren I would love to tell you what I can about the US and the world.  I hope your emergency is easily handled, or at least safely handled.  Good luck, and stay safe. 

She waits a few minutes, staring at the page, but no message appears in return.  “Of course not, even if this is real, which I’m not saying it is but I’m not saying it’s not, but even if it is real there’s so reason whoever’s on the other side is sitting staring at the page waiting for my message.  They have their own things to do.”  She nods to herself and leaves the book open on her desk.  “I’ll come check back before I go to sleep.”  

Erin has every intention of doing just that, but when she falls asleep to an old Disney movie on her worn couch she doesn’t have the chance.  Waking heavily around five in the morning she groans, the imprint of the couch cushions on her cheek stinging as she lifts her head and blearily eyes the bright light of her television.  She paws for the controller to switch it off, and rolls herself off the couch to wander into her bedroom, passing by her desk with the journal on it.  She’s suddenly awake though as her eyes glance over the page to show another message beneath the one she scrawled last night. 

[rkaisha]

wat do u call bubble tea that u’ve dropped on the ground? dirtea. /bricked 

anyhow… hello it justa me, ur local eevee, back with more dad jokes a new muse. dis my bby yoorim, or aisha ( i kept it as nickname bc cute ), and she is all of the above: headstrong, v ambitious, loves attention – super loyal, and did i say headstrong yet yes. her profile page is all up and as always i need event partners and here is the standard ( like ) to plot and eeb will pop up in ur dms!

comment any pokemon ( hehe ) for a charisma starter! ( i actually have ideas so maybe i can actually do them this time sobs )

more under the cut! come plot wit my bby pls and tank ♡

can and will out-eat you but only in the guise of an eating challenge if this is out in public ( at home she gives no fucks )

sings in the shower loudly

outgoing, friendly, charismatic, but equally blunt- speaks what’s on her mind

goes to hanlim multi arts!

goth grunge princess

very health oriented - has a set workout schedule and eating plan - …the workouts she follows but she often snacks and cheats her meal plan by sneaking sweets - huge sweet tooth

a fan of most sports ( playing, not watching )

youtuber - has no channel theme other than the theme that she has no set theme - will do any trending video challenge at least once (does consistently do clothes hauls, skincare routine and product hauls, and the occasional mukbang with friends) so i lied - her 1 consistent theme is she does daily vlogs (preparing her lunch, going shopping at the market, writing notes at study session after school, etc)

knows practically everyone in her grade - good connections, good rep

parental issues - mostly just her parents emotionally neglecting her and making up for it by showering her in gifts and money

her role model is her cousin jei, whom she often follows around like a baby duckling

is intelligent, but often procrastinates and pulls through at the end - which causes her an immense amount of stress that gives her the kick to get everything done on time ( but she likes to appear as if she has all her shit together )

works as a barista at the stylenanda pink pool cafe!

if u are close with her, will likely end up either at karaoke, drunk, at 2am in the morning, or dragged out for a spontaneous shopping spree ( and if ur really close, then both at some point or another )

isn’t technically part-time, but she works at her aunt’s boutique in her ( limited ) free time - and by works i mean cuts up/redesigns the clothing and/or steals some for herself

music theory is her specialty, but she’s dabbled in poetry, and now lyric, writing - she’s also had formal dance training ( including pole dancing woohoo )

even though she is assertive, she will admit she was wrong in a heartbeat if it was proven without batting an eyelash

she has a cat named slinky who likes belly scratches and to chew on her makeup sponges

please come plot with us we will lov u forever

[apostleled]

New York City.

Nuri’s called the place home for three months.  It took adjusting.  Getting used to being in such an overwhelmingly busy city compared to a small town and, later, Savannah?  Nowhere he visited in his time since leaving the group home came anywhere near what New York City embodied.  Culture shock barely covered the sense of how it suddenly felt like he was a tiny, tiny fish in the middle of not just a pond.  More like the ocean itself.  A feeling that he came here for.  

The chance to fade away into somewhere entirely different brought him here.  This is where he planned on staying.  At least until he was finished with school.  Maybe longer if things worked out?  One major draw to wandering the streets and getting used to the place he, now, called home?  Music.  Within a handful of minutes, you could be half a dozen places where some brand of music was playing.  

Local groups by the dozens (or more).  Musicians passing through.  Broadway artists and impromptu jam sessions?  Live act nights and canned genre after genre pouring out from all around.  New York City breathed in the emotions of thousands and thousands of people.  Then bled them out into the streets on the strums of guitars, plinks of piano keys and on the voices of whoever cared to bare their soul into a microphone.

There’s one particular place that keeps drawing him back each weekend.  Sort of one of many clubs and bars like it but the music here?  Seemed like it was always some of the best you could find.  Never a bad night.  And the drinks were pretty damn good too.  Tonight?  He’d stuck around for the entirety of the set.  So did most of the bar.  A sure sign that whoever this guy was?  Damn, he could keep a crowd.  

Nuri waited until after the crowds began to disperse before gathering up his drink and making his way towards the small, modest stage.  “I’ve been coming here for weeks.  I think tonight’s been the best I’ve seen.  Whoever’s running this place should get you up there more often.  Looks like I’m not the only one who thought that,” his smile was warm and inviting--lacking any sort of pretense or apprehension.  “I’m Nuri..sorry.  Sort of forgot that part.”

@artifexed ; plotted starter

[whoisleft-rp]

Flooing Across the Aisle: A Night of Fundraising & Debate

Times are tough, there’s no denying that - just denying the causes, perhaps, and some of the effects. The Ministry is well aware that despite their best efforts, unrest is building. The race for the Wizengamot’s three open seats has risen to contentious levels in recent weeks.

To remedy this and bring the focus back where it ought to be – on the issues – the Ministry has arranged for a much called-for debate and joint fundraiser among the various candidates. The money raised will be donated in full to the Ministry’s electoral services, which ensures ballots to all citizens, pays for the equal printing of campaign information materials, and converts civic buildings into polling stations.

The debate itself will feature all seven candidates on one stage, asking questions put forth to them from an impartial moderator: the Minister for Magic himself! The debate will last for two hours, during which all candidates will be given equal chance to speak, and equal grounds to present their platforms.

Due to a desire for the debate to not be on any one candidate’s “home turf,” there was a raffle to see who would choose the forum: Olivia St. Culpo was the lucky winner, and she ran with the chance to make a statement, just as her supporters have been taught to expect.

The location chosen was The Manic Pixie, a spacious, two story nightclub that was the sight of the first legal same-sex union of marriage in the Wizarding world – all the way back in the year 12 B.C. – and now functions as one of Britain’s most popular all-magical gay clubs. For the purposes of the debate it’s been rearranged to accommodate the debate and audience…..

…..but also decorated to match St. Culpo’s chosen theme, because what Official Ministry Event would be complete without an over-the-top after-party?

The chosen theme, for those curious? THE ROARING TWENTIES! That’s right! Get your pearls strung, your Charleston moves practiced, and your favorite jazz requests in, because we’re all taking a page from 1920’s America, without that pesky prohibition.

(“It’s fitting,” St. Culpo added, sharing a secret smile with Sinclair as he furiously took notes. “Since the last time several fundamental laws concerning the rights of Classification XX beings were allowed to be discussed on the Wizengamot floor was 1924!”)

Following the debate, Olivia St. Culpo, Elphias Doge, Piper Moonfall and Chilton Cloven have agreed to play by the rules and stay – along with their staff and supporters – at the The Manic Pixie. However, not everyone was so pleased about the venue, theme, or company chosen. It’s worth noting, however, that Elphias Doge himself disappeared from the celebrations early in the night and nobody can quite remember when they saw him last.

Bob Ogden, a good old chap, was willing to play, but only by his own terms. His celebration is also taking place at the The Manic Pixie, but in secret. Pulling from the evening’s colorful theme, he’s relocated his supporters and his copious liquor stash (sponsored by Ogden’s, naturally!) to a speakeasy in an unplottable corner of the premises, hidden behind a brick wall, protected with a password, and ripe for handshake deals behind the closed doors.

Leland Talbot is not one for parties or merriment. He attended the debate proudly, but left immediately after to oversee extra security watching over the Ministry for the night, fearing its lowered defenses with so many people at the debate and following celebrations.

Tara Norwood was the one who protested most to the shared stage and shared festivities – though of course she’s too proper and refined to admit it. Fortunately, she was saved the trouble. Campaign donor and top endorser Abraxas Malfoy offered to hold a more private, invitation-only reception at his manor following the debate. The legion of Norwood supporters arrived at the debate, most of them dressed formally rather than to theme, and left soon after to attend the Malfoy soiree where they were greeted with champagne and canapes, and the setting they’ve become accustomed to over the years.

OOC Information

Starters for this event will be allowed from now through 11:59 PM EST on Sunday, March 31st. Starters, as always, can still be replied to after this time window is over.

Students at Hogwarts have been given permission to attend this event via specially activated floo in the castle; however, all students - even those of age - will be under watch by various professor chaperones and expected back at the castle before midnight. McGonagall has a list of which students were permitted to go; do not keep her waiting when it’s time to come home!

Your characters can travel between the different breakout sessions if doing so makes sense for your plots!

Characters are not required to attend, but they are encouraged to! It’s a chance for characters both at school and graduated to come together and chat and, yes, probably argue a little bit about politics.

Starter tag for the event: WILCampaignParty

[54fangirl]

Out of Sight, Out of Mind (Pt. 3)

Sweet Pea X OC

Summary:  Danika and her younger brother, Anthony, are abandoned by their mother. She can’t handle her daughter’s mental state anymore so she leaves the siblings with her mother back in Riverdale, both kids assuring their grandmother that she’s not coming back. Tony is a genius at only 10 and back in their hometown, he was in a promising education program, on the road to an ivy league school with a full scholarship, but in the southside? Danika just needs to keep him away from gang activity, which is hard when she herself gets a little too close.

Pairings: Sweet Pea x Female!OC

Words: 1381

Warnings: swearing, talk of suicide/drug use/alcoholism, allusions to some past trauma, (Future Warning) Mentions of and references to suicide and self-harm

A/N: O M F G I am the worst at updating. So much has been going on- too much. And everything got really out of hand and the world was kind of against me. Anyway, I’m sorry again.

Disclaimers: I own nothing but the plot and the OC’s

Part 1 | Part 2

Danika slammed the door shut when she got home.

“I can see you’re in a great mood.” Her grandmother commented, flipping through a magazine.

“What the hell did my mom tell you and what the hell did you tell the school?”

“What do you mean, darling?”

“I mean I got called into the counselor's office because ‘my grandmother stated some concerns about me’ and now everyone I know there thinks I’m a fucking nutjob.”

“You watch your tone, missy-”

“No! I don’t know what you think you know but I assure you it’s wrong!”

“Really? So you didn’t try to end your life? You didn’t stay in the hospital for over two months because they were concerned you’d try and do it again? None of that happened? How about the drugs? The drinking? Was that fake too?” Her mom really went all out to ensure her grandmother didn’t trust her.

“You don’t know the whole story-”

“I don’t need to! Your mother told me to keep you safe! I will do that, no matter what! You are the most important thing, I’m sorry if you feel wronged but you are everything in this situation-”

“I’m not going to have any friends because of this! I need friends to feel sane for christ sake-”

“Watch it! You’re on thin ice young lady!”

Danika wanted to scream and rip her hair out, she wanted to go back. She wanted to destroy everything she worked so hard to achieve.

“There’s going to be some changes in your life and you’re just going to have to deal with them.”

At this point, not even her pills could give her the energy to deal with this argument so she nodded for her grandmother to continue.

“For starters, you’re going to start coming to church with me and Abuelo on Sundays.” Danika only nodded, “I gave you the summer to adjust to living here but now you’re going back to your routine which means therapy.”

“Abuela! No!”

“I’m not arguing about it, you’re going. It’s a group at the hospitals that meets Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays.”

“So I have to go to church and group therapy every Sunday?”

“Yup. And you’re not getting out of it. You also have private sessions on Thursdays.”

“So I won’t be having a social life at all then?”

“Did you really expect one?”

No, but she didn’t need to know that.

“You’re also not allowed to date and you will stay away from any and all gangs.” That one was going to be hard considering that the only people she went to school with were gang members and she was pretty sure one of them had a crush on her.

Her grandmother continued listing off rules that just brought her down, they only stopped because Abuelo was home and with him was Anthony.

“Antonio, my boy, how was school?” Maya squished his face together.

“Good, boring though. My teacher wouldn’t let me do my Algebra at recess, she took my book and said I should go play with the other kids.”

“You should, Tony. Make some friends, algebra is not as exciting as you think.” Danika told her brother.

“But I already finished the medical textbook, I wanna learn math.”

“You can do math instead of watching cartoons then, but you need to interact with kids your own age so you don’t dissociate yourself from the population, get it?” He hated it when she talked to him like he was ten, so she tried to use bigger words so he could expand his vocabulary as they had regular conversations.

“Fine, I suppose that makes sense.”

“Good, now go get started on your homework and you can read mine with me.”

He ran upstairs happily, followed by their grandfather. Abuela looked back at Danika.

“He’s smart, so I know he knows something but I know he doesn’t know everything because I know you. And you may treat him like your peer but he’s still your baby brother.”

“He knows I went to the hospital for a while because mom told him I was sick. That’s why he had the medical textbooks. He wanted to fix me when she said the doctors couldn’t.”

It broke her heart everytime he visted her and told her he found something new in his book. After a while their mom stopped bringing him, per her doctors orders it wasn’t helping her recovery to lie to him.

xxx

The next day at school, Sweet Pea intercepted her before she saw anyone else.

“So, what the hell happened yesterday?”

“What do you mean?” She kept her head down, not trying to break her grandmothers rules  less than twenty-four hours after she’d given them.

“I mean Toni said you left class and she didn’t see you for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, the office had some issues with my paperwork from my old school and I guess I just don’t have any other classes with her.” She lied easily.

“No, but you do have two more with me at the end of the day...” He said with a slight smirk.

“Oh, I uh left a little early. I needed to check on my brother.” She lied again.

“Ah, yes, the little medical expert.”

“Uh, yeah. He’s like an actual genius- reads the textbooks for fun.”

“Huh, he seems kinda young.”

“Yeah, he’s only ten.”

“Christ, I’m pretty sure at ten I was just annoying the girls on the playground.”

She let out and awkward laugh, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

The two continued to their first shared class but said no more words. When the bell rang Danika ran out of the class before he could even call after her.

Going through her normal day, turns out every class that she didn’t share with Sweet Pea, she shared with either Fangs or Toni.

xxx

Three weeks had passed. Therapy was boring as it always, chruch made her want to die on a whole new level, and group was just a bunch of other teens who didn’t want to be there, same as her.

Three weeks passed and every other day Toni invited her to hang out, maybe she found someone who didn’t think she was crazy. Or someone who just didn’t care.

It was Monday night of the fourth week that her brother finally spoke up.

“You’re never home but you never talk about hanaging out with your friends.”

“Uh, yeah I don’t really have friends.” Her grandparents looked up at her from their dinners.

“If I have to make friends, why don’t you?”

“Um...”

“I find it hard to believe that you haven’t made a single friend since you showed up,” Abuelo speaks.

Danika coughs, “Um, actually there’s this girl- she’s in a bunch of my classes, she wanted to hang out after school tomorrow.”

Everyone’s eyes widened.

“And you said you had no friends. If you had no friends, then who would ask you to hang out. Of course you can go! Just be home by a reasonable time.” Her grandmother spoke quickly, not letting anyone say anything to contradict her. She changed the subject quick too.

The next day when Toni asked if she wanted to come over, she agreed.

“Wait- really?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve said no for like a month straight, why now?”

“Uh, I don’t know. My grandma is still not used to teenagers so she was being pretty strict about me going places.”

“Oh, well cool. We need to stop by my work before we go to my place but after that we’ll have fun.”

“Okay, sounds great, I’ll meet you...”

“By my bike. Sweet Pea can show you.”

Sweet Pea. She hadn’t wanted to, but they became so close so fast. She wanted him to know eveything about her and she wanted to know everything about him. But they weren’t close to that yet.

She wanted him to be everything to her, but knew that wasn’t a smart move. It wouldn’t only break several of her grandmothers rules, but a few of her own as well. Number one being, don’t let anyone get close enough to push her over the edge again. He was right on the border of that and it was an unsettling feeling, one she hadn’t felt in a long time.

[dreamybookclub]

Book Review Genre 6: Fiction, Fantasy & YA

Bibliography:

Lord, Cynthia. Rules. Read by Jessica Almasy. Recorded Audio, 2007.OneDrive Listen Audio, 4 hr. ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0439443838

Plot Summary: Catherine is an average 12-year-old girl who wants to make friends and live a 'normal' life. Catherine’s brother, David, has autism which can make life a bit complicated for her. She also feels that her parent's focus on David means that she’s being forgotten. Navigating her family life is only part of the problem! While Catherine tries to make friends with the new girl on the block, Kristi, life gets messy when she makes friends with a boy, Jason, during her brother’s occupational therapy session. Jason is a paraplegic boy and Catherine struggles to have her two worlds collide. Kristi wants to go to the dance and Jason wants her to go to his birthday party. While having rules can help keep her life in order, they are not foolproof and Catherine learns a lot about herself, what friendship, family, and being 'normal' really mean to her.

Critical Analysis: Rules is a story about new friends, bullies, being popular, family, and growing up all with a younger brother who has autism. That can be a lot for any 12-year-old girl to handle. Catherine really struggles to deal with feeling embarrassed from being associated with her brother, David, and creates a list of rules to not only help him seem ‘normal’ but for Catherine to avoid any embarrassment. Rules like, “at someone else’s house, you have to follow the rules” or “late doesn’t mean not coming” help not only David but Catherine navigate life’s complexities. Other rules like “no dancing unless I’m alone in my room or it’s pitch-black dark” may be meant to be broken.

Cynthia Lord does an impressive job of capturing realistic feelings in the shoes of a 12-year-old girl trying to deal with a very complex situation. Catherine no doubt loves her brother but she also wants to be popular like any girl her age would and those two concepts don't seem to mesh well in her life. Additionally, she really struggles with her parents and feels frustrated that she is often called on to “watch” David at the cost of trying to make new friends. When Catherine does make a friend with a paraplegic boy, Jason, she only becomes embarrassed when her “normal” neighbor, Kristi, asks to meet him. At the cost of hurting Jason’s feelings, Catherine learns a hard lesson in friendship and family.

Readers can sympathize with the story of a typical teenager trying to find her place in life. Young readers will learn lessons on friendship and honesty and learn about compassions and accepting those with disabilities.

I listened to the unabridged electronic audio recording on Libby, narrated solely by Jessica Almasy. She does different voices for different characters even when she reads Jason’s word cards. The audio is clear with no sound effects or music additions. The audiobook includes a brief introduction by the director, Dave Milan, but no closing comments. I found the pace to be slow for my taste and I ended up listening to most of the audio at 1.25% speed but, the narration did keep my attention with her lively depiction of each character. Young readers may prefer the audio at a regular pace and get a better feeling of expression for Catherine’s thoughts versus her actual words.

Review Excerpts:

"A heartwarming first novel." Booklist

"Catherine is an appealing and believable character, acutely self-conscious and torn between her love for her brother and her resentment of his special needs. Middle-grade readers will recognize her longing for acceptance and be intrigued by this exploration of dealing with differences." Kirkus Reviews

"Catherine is an endearing narrator who tells her story with both humor and heartbreak. . . this sensitive story is about being different, feeling different, and finding acceptance. A lovely, warm read, and a great discussion starter."  School Library Journal

Connections:

*Activity: Pictures are used to communicate in Rules, have readers pick a theme from the story to try and explain through images only. Have students share at the end and see if others can figure out the meaning behind the drawings.

*Other books related to disabilities in young adult fiction: OUT OF MY MIND by Sharon Draper ISBN 1416971718 WONDER by R.J. Palacio ISBN 0375869026 THE RUNNING DREAM by Wendelin Van Draanen ISBN 0375866280

[feadae]

Kids, man

So my mom’s a middle-school theater teacher, right? She’s grading her students’ district assessments, and she’s reading me some of the worst (or best) answers, and I’m writing them down because they’re hysterical. Bear in mind: because this isn’t a test my mom wrote herself, the review session she had with the kids was her literally going over the answer key with them word for word and explaining the answers the way she did when she taught the concepts. With Theater I, she did this the day before the test. With Theater II, they didn’t have the time the day before, so she did the review the day of the test, literally fifteen minutes before the kids took it.

Define the term ‘comedy’ as we use it in theater, and give an example. “Comedy is a regular line of funny.”

Define the term ‘tragedy as we use it in theater, and give an example. “Something bad that happens usually to an actor like everyone dies in hamlet.” “It means something that is bad.” “Main character usually dies and there’s usually a hero.” “Tragedy is like a very serious but sad moment.” “Sad and kinda shocked. Example: Stranger Things.” “Tragedy can be when an actor dies or when something bad happens for example in Harry Potter Tom Riddle technology died.” We think he means ‘technically’ died? “Tragedy like how in the movie the hobbit it is a tragedy that the war happened many people died in it.” Mom: “Isn’t this terrifying? These are seventh graders.”

Define the term ‘melodrama’ as we use it in theater, and give an example. Fun fact: the current production at my mom’s school is a set of two melodramas, which a lot of these kids are in. “Melodrama is a drama that is a phantom that you think something is gonna happen but it’s the opposite what everybody was probably thinking like in Charlotte’s web they were going to kill the pig but the girl got to keep it.” “Scared. Pirates of the Caribbean.” “A very mixed-emotions play. Twilight.” “Something that is dramatic but on a lower level than tragedy. An example would be Jurassic World.” “A melodrama is a play that is like a horror movie that make the audience scared. Phantom of the Opera, It, and Jurassic World.” “?”

Define the term ‘drama’ as we use it in theater, and give an example. “Drama is where you take a story and dramatize it.” “A serious situation that should be taken seriously. An example would be Blurp from Evening of Scenes.” We think she means “Blue” from The Bully Plays, which the kids performed with several other scenes from various plays that the department put on last spring at a revue-style show they called Evening of Scenes. “Drama is something that is dramatic.” “A serious situation treated in a serious manner. Sometimes singing is involved. An example would be Les Mis.” “Drama is acting or gossip. Example: Mean Girls.” “Drama is when a character spreads something bad to another character and starts drama. For example: the Californians from SNL.” “Drama in a play is like when people would be in a romance kind of play.” “Drama has 2 meanings: 1) a play or form of a play 2) overreacting in some way, like a soap opera.” “Drama’s like a tragedy without death. An example would be Everything, Everything.” “Drama is a play where the actor show. a. lot of emotion. Photom of the Opera, The Choronal Engine, Romero and Juilyat.” “Drama is when someone gets to an argument to fight.” Mom: “You can tell when people study together, because here’s four people in a row with The King and I as their example.

Identify the plot structure. Fill in the blank. Inciting incident is the answer. “Insight is inciting.” “Don’t know the theater term for it.” Mom: “I’m going to give them intro and beginning, just don’t call it conflict, BEN.” Exposition is the answer. Mom: “Evolution. Oh. Okay. Perhaps you weren’t aware that stories start with evolution.” Mom: “Start. Okay, Paige.” Mom: “Begging? Okay. Avery thinks the beginning is called the begging. Reese thinks it’s called find. Jack thinks it’s the epilogue.” “Uprise.” “Building of story.” “Plot begins.” “Conflict starter.” “Starting.” “Incident inciter.” “Inciting incline.” “Conflict.” “Enfenation.” “Turning point.” “Defining incident.” “Insiteing actcident.” “Problem acours.” Blank answer. Mom: “Burke didn’t even give it a shot.” “Explosion.” “Opening scene.” “Narration.” “Don’t know the theater term, incentive something, but it’s the narrative hook.” This next kid is in her Theater II class. You know, the one where they reviewed fifteen minutes before the test? “Important imposition.” These are this one kid’s answers for exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. “Learn, Identify, Create, Emphasize, React.” Rising action is the answer. “Plot.” “Rise and action.” “Building up to climax.” “Plot lifts.” “Risking action.” “Action.” Climax is the answer. “Starts to end.” “Plot.” Falling action is the answer. “Fall and action.” This is the ‘rise and action’ kid. “The ending of the climax.” “It’s almost over.” “Downfall.” “Downfall action.” Resolution is the answer. “Wrap-up.” “End.” “Ending action.” “Retaliation.” “Climax.”

Define ‘protagonist.’ “The protagonist is someone who lies.” “The protagonist gets in the antagonist’s way and is the villain.” “The protagonist is a bad sharacter who gets in the antagonist’s way.” “When a person or another actor kinda blocks the main or star character.” “Can be evil or someone who gets in someone’s ways.” “The person you see the story thought.”

Define ‘antagonist.’ “Someone who tell the truth.” This is the ‘protagonist lies’ kid. “A good person or a bad person that either stay away or fight.” “When an actor doesn’t do anything.” “Someone who wants something done. Mostly he or she is a good guy.”

The areas of the stage are identified from whose perspective? The correct answer is ‘the actor’s,’ when they’re facing the audience and standing on stage. That’s why they’re called stage directions. 8 kids said audience and 6 kids said director.

Why are stage directions important? “So the actor won’t just stand there for the whole play.” “It teaches the actors how to behave on stage.” Blank answer. Mom: “Owen! You know this answer!” “It helps actors tell the story better.”

Turns out, the lowest score is a 50%, and only one kid out of about 50 got a 100%.

[hellandbackhq]

BREAKING NEWS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BH NEWS-5

It appears that the weather cleared up sometime over night. As we’re sure you’ve already noticed, the snow is completely gone and skies are crystal clear. Sun is shining right now and there’s a high of 92 degrees. Our weather forecast predicts that should be the temperature for the rest of the week, and hopefully for the entire month of May.

School is now back in session and the blizzard warning for Beacon Hills has been lifted. It is now safe to go back on the roads and outside. Enjoy the sunshine but please remember to still be vigilante as always, and call the sheriff department if you see or hear anything suspicious. Stay safe!

admin note: please keep in mind that unless otherwise posted on the main, the snow is now gone in beacon hills! you can continue to keep any current threads where snow is mentioned but if you start new ones from here on out, remember that the weather is clear. feel free to post starters based on this plot drop but as always, reblog two before posting your own!