#Strict Consistency
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One of the interesting bits of trying to resume working on the game after so long is looking back at my ancient Draft Placeholder versions of an image from 4 yrs ago trying to remember what the hell I meant back then, to hopefully interpret it into some more final (ish..) form of the same thing .. making slow progress lol
#At this point I've decided it's just a consistent design decision to have the sketchy slightly wonky sort of art ghbjj#I simply don't have the digital art skills/tools/patience (mostly that) to do 100% digital things and have a Clean Polished Professional#Neat Looking Perfect Crisp Lines sort of thing like one would see in most games. I'm drawing everything in pencil half decently (not strict#ly making sure every line is straight or that the perspective even makes sense) and then scanning it in and coloring it on the computer#and that's about it. In another world I could hire an artist or two to do professional backgrounds and charcter art or etc. - but as I am#a mere penniless peasant hermit with functioning issues who has to do every aspect of everything themselves - I'm just going to do#what is possible within the time frame/my ability/etc. and then just be like ''ah you see! actually this is intentional~ it has a homemade#crafty hand drawn sort of charm about it - yes? this was the direction all along!!'' LOL#Which for the record I'm not like complaining that it's necssarily Bad or anything - more just I suppose not the Professional Polished#style you Typically see in a lot of things - again the like - sketchy unclean lines of it all.#(like I think usually people use some sort of symmetry tool to make sure that all sides of a box are neat and clean and have that#Professional Game Art type of feel about them - rather than 'this is a scan of scraggily pencil lines in which I did not even bother to use#a ruler or try to get them all that even' lol). So it's not that it's BAD really.#just I think.. perhaps ''unconventional'' compared to the examples of other#games I've looked at. BUT. the point is to convey an idea. I think your art has failed if you do not convey a concept properly. But so#long as it meets your purposes and is not SOO cluttered/scribbly that nobody can even tell what's going on (unless that IS your intention)#then like.. I think it's fine. You can tell a house is a house even if it's not polished. No worries. (<convincing myself)#ANYWAY.. also 'Nanyevimi Market Quest' is still SUCH a placeholder name but I genuinely can never think of anything else so#I've just been going with it for now ToT... There's no distinct actual throughline story/plot so there's no 'theme' to base a title#around. Kind of like how 'The Sims' is just called the sims because naming it like 'Sims: Downfall Of Pleasantview' (one of the#towns in TS2 i think) would be a weird misname since what happens in the game totally depends on what you choose to do with it#So you can't really name it anything THAT specific (a player might not even choose to have a house in Pleasantview. what then? etc).#So it's just like..uh well...GENERALLY speaking.. everyone is uh.. on a personal quest..vaguely.. which takes place in a Market street full#of shops.. and you are mostly talking to shopkeepers... BUT it's not just a Market Quest since it's also in a fantasy world.. so we need to#give the fantasy world name.. and that's about it. I'm just at a loss for anything else. Maybe the like 2 and a half playtesters I#manage to scrounge up will have better ideas ghhh.. 'Nanyevimi Quest: Get To Know Some Shopkeepers' 'Find A Job In Fantasy World' you could#say 'Market Adventure' but some would argue just having a bunch of conversations and wandering around is not much of a real adventure.#don't want to set people up for thinking there's any drama or combat or anything. 'Do Menial Errands For Mentally Ill Elves Simulator' ghjg#(also sidenote: the '''chibi'' style versions of the characters on the menu screen....EVIL.. that style is SOOO hard for me to draw in for#some reason.. I just can't get the proportions right/have trouble fully ''simplifying'' the design.. took me HOURS lol... aUGHh)
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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order#and the paperclips must all be the same size#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color#whether you like it or not#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks#Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency#So I simply don’t#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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these bozos complaining about the high tackle crackdown in the nrl wouldn't last a second watching union
#personally i think they are too lenient in nrl and i'm glad there's some sort of accountability happening#but also it can be wayyy harsh in union#there is at least some logic and consistency in union even though it is quite strict
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The Right Angled Triangle
It's not over until I win
Disappear for 6 months Make everything your fault Find the beast within you throw yourself to pain Cut out all the excuses Go all in on yourself Train like a warrior Work like a robot Eat like a king Reject voices Transform Upgrade Create Thrive Win
#deep#intense#perspective#strong#motivatingwords#motivation#self discipline#strict#discipline over motivation#consistency#action#transformation#thrive#creative#Pun
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Shoutout to these pictures. I love her
“ :D !!!! ”
#🐺🐏;;#her happiness is my happiness so the picture above means the world to me#I can't believe she genuinely enjoys training so much (´ . .̫ . `)#not like I'm complaining‚‚#another one for the list of our opposites tho#eh I don't wanna get back into training consistently with a strict routine like I used to do#because that's just. mentally exhausting and makes me hate everything#she doesn't want me to feel like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#but then again. the joy in her face is priceless#maybe. I could consider simple training every once in a while whenever I feel like it. going for a run or smth#doing something she loves with me would make her x1011 times happier#and since I'd be motivated by her happiness and not by whatever rage I had years ago... it could be enjoyable even#I could try methinks#if she made playing guitar enjoyable for me again after I abandoned it‚ I don't see why not
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happy tdov! got another spidersona for ya! :]
'parker' is in between names right now but that doesn't stop him from being the spiderman of his dimension!
their dimension is fairly desaturated so the appearance of our favorite red and blue hero is a disturbance in more ways than one
gwen stacy becomes his 'guy in the chair' after she figures out that he's spiderman :]
#gari draws#gari’s ocs#oc: parker#spiderman#spiderverse#that side profile had hands oh my god 😭#I started this. september 2023. it's older than the piece with mario holding mela and pera#I just consistently forgot about it before making the push to finish it for tdov#since. you know. I made them from earth 331#he's closeted in his secret identity but as you can see. presents masc as spiderman. don't expect a spider-person to be strict on health#gwen and parker went to the same all girls middle school before moving on to a co-ed high school and were good friends#before parker started being weird/withdrawing for several reasons#she figures out that he's spiderman but NOT that he was trans so when she was going over her evidence he just kinda awkwardly blurts it out#I think it would be nice for parker's new name to be ben but I have been unsuccessful in researching trans renaming + the jewish naming#after the dead thing so he could also be peter. but I want him to be ben bc that would be kinda boring. if anyone has a good source lmk#aunt may is supportive!#idk parker has any special powers. but that isn't set in stone
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it will be fine, okay? i do this all the time, and nothing could go wrong... unless that's what you'd like? (aurora borealis - lemon demon)
flippers and fins (anemocade) shipboard
#🎟️#i bet you guys didn't know we had a non portmanteau ship name#in fact i didn't even know we had one until i drafted this post#flippers are the little thingies on a pinball machine and fins. are from fishes#because of arcade's “pinball wizard” nickname and the aquatic theming of my s/i#yeah i know i'm pretty smart#and my name comes first in the portmanteau ship name because i top him#even though i don't consistently subscribe to strict name order stuff but in this case it's important#selfship#fictional other community#proselfship#selfproship#selfship proship#moodboard#*glub glub*
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Some more portraits :) I've drawn too much fanart, I need to return to creature comforts shdkkf
#i think when i have no big plans i just end up drawing these kinda portraits#as practice yknow and also cause the characters are comforting to me#smth i think a lot abt is how i used to be so scared of not being able to draw a character consistently +#that i would keep tracing off whatever the prev drawing was to keep their face consistent#but now i just find that so silly 😭#the only time ive done that recently is just for fanart bcs their faces are obv like a pretty strict thing#but for ocs its like evolution ig. draw them however i wish :)#and i think ive def gotten better w consistency#anyways maybe ill end up drawing a lot more characters than i usually do!! these are going pretty smooth#i usually only finish 1 or 2. sketch a couple more and then give up#but these are sooooo fun to me :D ty guys for asking abt them <3#catie.art.
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Well, that was a long day!
Actually, it was more of a long week…
Suffice to say, I am very happy that my work week is over.
#it was a challenging week#i work at a daycare#and so many teachers got covid#so we were consistently understaffed#and we have a strict illness policy#where if kids show any signs of illness when covid is going around#then they have to stay home until symptoms improve#and if we have to send a kid home#they have to stay home the following day#unless they get permission to send their kid in#and the parents Do Not like our policy#which i understand#staying home from work is difficult#but if we didn’t have this policy#we can’t slow the spread of illnesses#and then too many teachers get sick and stay home#and we can’t meet state required ratios of adults to children#which means we have to start shutting down classrooms#it’s unfortunate but it has to be done#so anyway this week was a lot of being overworked#and dealing with angry parents
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Dear god people found my crawdad poll. And they're eating me.
#PRO BUG WENT FROM 80% to 60% IN A FEW HOURS.... HELP ME#i am AWARE crawdads are not insects but 'bug' is not a remotely scientific or semantically consistent term#its the 'mushi' of english#wg speaks#“that ant isn't a bug” <- something you have to be confident saying if you really care about Strict Scientific Definitions
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Fucking Raphael making me write fucking poetry
#do you know. what my LEAST FAVORITE PART OF ENGLISH CLASS WAS?#CONSISTENTLY?#INTO MY COLLEGE CREATIVE WRITING COURSES#YOU GUESSED IT#P O E T R Y#do you know the poetry I hated most? poetry that followed a strict syllable and rhyme scheme
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Great now the director at work is also leaving. Why is there always so many changes happening in this site.
#stuff#once things start feeling consistent then BOOM big change#the director is so cool and keeps things afloat#next director better be just as strict and flexible like the current one I have
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i should prolly start tagging to organise my reblogs but like
i will never be able be consistent with it
i might for a few weeks, but it's die down after a while
but then agen, idt i need tags cause i lowkey treat this like an archive
but wouldn't tht be a good reason for tags tho? to have better archive management??
...
hm
there is only one way to go about this
wat will make me enjoy using tumblr?
#i really love tags and going through other blogs who have a consistent tagging system always inspire me to do the same within my own tumblr#but like#ik tht life aint for me#ik tht i prefer to just send reactions and then continue on my way#but it doesnt mean i dont wanna have tht life too tho#but i also know if im gon be strict in upholding my tagging system itll just end up feeling like a chore#and then ill start hating going on tumblr#and then delete my tumblr acc once agen
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so like. madd system shit. we love having music in the background when we're wandering paracosm, like movie and game soundtracks that fit the mood (our playlists are So Large) and since we've had our paracosm so long, a lot of the time we end up reusing songs that were already associated with other scenes. so like nowadays we'll be in the middle of daydreaming completely unrelated scenes with entirely new headmates in the front rotation but someone will always stop in the middle of certain songs to go "that's jimmy's theme :)" "oh that's the Dawn echo's theme" "thats one of the songs for helios' lab" its very funny
#we realised while writing this#ever since knowing we were a system. we have kept so many more records and archives of information about ourselves#we started keeping a playlist of all our old old daydreaming songs and ones we don't like or use anymore#because those songs are still associated with particular headmates and we didn't want to lose that#we keep more written records than ever and don't just throw shit away when it doesn't feel like 'me' anymore#we actually have a reason to keep the records because we always know that even if not at the moment#we will always have someone in the future who cares about those records and wants to see it all; the good and the bad#we've gotten BETTER at journaling and more consistent at it too#we're having a less consistent period right now but our brain is frazzled right now so we're not being as strict with ourselves#too much shit going on don't need to also be beating myself up while im already down it'll be fine we'll get back to it eventually#but like. we know more about ourselves now than we ever had our entire life#as a kid we always tended to throw stuff away the second it didn't feel 'me' anymore#and then get mad at ourselves when we regretted doing that later both for regretting it and for doing it in the first place#like why am i sad i told myself i hated it. why did i do that i want it back#can you see how we can't ever pin down an earliest date for our plurality beginning we've always done this shit#but like. now that we know the reason why we felt that way so often. we fight less and can compromise better#and we keep so much more stuff because we have a real reason to now#and because we know the reason for keeping things it feels less like hoarding meaningless items#like. the things we keep have more meaning now that we know whose they are instead of it just being#'i mean i like this thing maybe once a month so i wanna keep it even though i rarely play with it'#we mostly would beat ourselves up a lot about this as a teen we would keep a lot of stuff in early elementary school#but then our piece of shit biodad started calling us a hoarder and stuff so we started throwing shit away#fuck that. anyway
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Every now and then some discourse pops up around a queer ship consisting of a pair of fictional characters who are not blood related, but refer to themselves as "brothers" or "sisters," or are in some way, according to the fandom, "sibling-coded."
Every time I see that discourse, all I can think about are the very real queer men I once knew, who, before their deaths, lived their lives posing as "stepbrothers." The only way to avoid suspicion for being two older unmarried men living together in a rural conservative area was to pretend they were from the same family, even though the truth was that they were lovers.
They were never out in life. Their relationship was a strict secret to nearly everyone. They never knew that I knew, and sometimes it fucks me up inside that they never got to come out to me. It fucks me up that they had to hide behind a fake "brotherly" relationship for their own safety. It fucks me up to look at a gravestone that reads "beloved brother" and know what it really means, and what it could have said if they'd lived under different circumstances.
In another world, they could have been husbands, but they never had the opportunity. The world will remember them as brothers, because, even in death, that is what was safest.
The freedom to declare queer love openly is something that not everyone has. And I think more people could stand to remember that.
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as much fun as it is to just draw whatever i am very much someone who enjoys the technical aspect of art more than most would think. being able to recognize and either utilize or subvert those rules is like crack to me
#most of the past 2 years was spent on (human) anatomy and balancing color values. i wanted to focus on poses and expressions this year tho#the hardest part of both of those for me is i am really. really strict about having consistent volume#but to exaggerate poses/expressions you kinda gotta disregard that rule sometimes and i am not good at remembering that#a little art nerd ramble here i guess
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