#TF2 Spy x reader

[prettyboypistol]

How to Seduce the TF2 Mercs

Scout

Pay attention to him. Give him genuine compliments and honest feedback. He wants to feel loved and like he's worth someone's time.

Kisses and physical affection. Mans thinks about the time you put your hand on his shoulder for weeks.

Just say you love him, man. He's been overlooked his whole life.

Soldier

Take him seriously- don't belittle him or make jokes about how he views the world. He knows he's a little crazy but he is genuinely trying his best to make the world a better place.

Defend him!!! If someone shit talks him, punch that motherfucker in the jaw!!

Honest discussions with you asking a lot of questions, take the time to get to know him and you'll have a defender for the rest of your life.

Pyro

Much like with Soldier, defend them and take the time to get to know them.

Gifts, gifts, gifts!!! Give them gifts!

Be a little flirty ;> don't baby them! Treat them like the adult they are!

Demoman

Bro just ask to fuck. He'll probably say yes.

He loves a bold mf that knows how to take what they want. Come on to him, buy him a drink, and ask if he's got any company for the night.

If you're going for something a little more long term, just remove the sleeping aspect. Just say you're interested in getting to know him you'll most likely get a date and see how things go.

Engineer

He's a sucker for practical use gifts (i.e. mechanical oil, a new wrench, etc) or sentimental gifts (photograph of you two, love letters)

Call him handsome! Call him pretty and a gentleman! Appeal to that cowboy energy and treat him all respectful like and you'll definitely catch his interest.

If you're not the type to do all that song and dance, go the opposite route. Stump him with a logistic problem and tease him about it. He'll nonstop think about you for months and bitch about you to his sentries.

Heavy

Mikhail likes hotheads and determined people, someone who's not afraid to fight if the situation comes to it.

Ask him about general things and slowburn that mf about nice conversations until you two can talk about personal things.

Ask him to help you clean your guns! Ask him weaponry questions about what would suit you better in the field!

Medic

GET THIS MAN SOME ORGANS. GET HIM SOME FUNDING!!!! get him a lil lovebirddddd

Take the time to get to know his birds and if the birds like you, Medic automatically likes you more.

Take an interest in his medical discoveries and his life! He's a prime yapper and wants to t a l k. That's why he never shuts up when doing surgery.

Spy

Romance him traditionally, to be honest. Keep it classy and court him like the romantic he is. Roses placed in his locker, prime dinners delivered to his door, BE A ROMANTIC ABOUT IT.

If you can't dance, ask him to teach you "for a mission" (He will know that you're the one behind all the flirtatious gestures bc he's SPY)

Butter up that man like he's a piece of toast. Handsome young man who captured your heart and holds it hostage. Classy gentleman that could get away with world domination with gorgeous eyes like that.

Sniper

Don't come on too strong, he's a bristly one. Be calm and casual. Hit him with that friends to lovers.

He's more of a tough nut to crack and insecure of if you actually like him, so be sure to flood his mind with ambiguous hints when you think you see signs of him showing interest in you.

To really seal yourself in his heart, spend a lot of quality time with him! Go camping, hunting, fishing, driving, anything that gets the both of you alone and quiet.

[lunatic-pudge]

Mercs Being Jealous

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(Requested by menenthusiast900069)

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Aight, so let's make a quick list of most to least jealous, just so you get an idea of my very bias beliefs, I am semi willing to debate this.

1.) Sniper

2.) Demo

3.) Scout

4.) Medic

5.) Pyro

6.) Soldier

7.) Engie

8.) Spy

9.) Heavy

Now, onto the headcanons!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Such a jealous baby, he can't help it

-A lot of it comes from his insecurities and also being the youngest of eight. He's used to being "the runt" of the group, even with the mercs. So he feels like he has to compete with them for your affection, even if you two are dating

-Like, someone could stand just a little too close to you and he's already starting the side eyes

-Scout, chill, for real for real

-He will attach himself to you once the jealousy kicks in. Arms wrapped around you, nuzzling up against you, it's that inner dog in him

-He will get mouthy with whoever is causing the jealousy. Talks a lot of smack for someone who is built like a damn twig. So it goes from him loving on you, to you having to prevent a fight from happening. Yes, depending on who it is, he can win the fight, he's a mercenary afterall. But when it comes to guys who have a big build like Heavy, then you'll really need to stop him

Soldier:

-Isn't really the jealous type, surprisingly. I think it comes from an oblivious stand point. Like, you need to point it out that someone's flirting with you for him to get even an increment of jealousy

-He really feels like he has nothing to worry about (which he's right). He's more than confident that you're loyal to him cause he is with you

-I feel like when you do say someone is flirting with you, he isn't gonna be violent, moreso he will make a big name and shame thing out of it (he basically did that to Miss Pauling in the comics)

-Like, "Who do you think you are flirting with MY GIRL, maggot! You are a disgrace to this country! Now drop and give me 100!"

-But that don't mean he isn't ready to throw hands. Cause he will. Homie's down to break a few necks. But if you don't want him doing that then you're gonna have to remove him from the situation

Pyro:

-I feel like they're kinda like Solider is the more oblivious aspect, but not as much. Like, they can tell when someone's flirting with you, but whether they truly care or not is up for debate

-I don't really see Pyro as a violent type when jealous. Why waste their energy on someone so insignificant to them?

-If anything, Pyro will just resort to loving all over you, more than usual. All the while giving the offending person a death stare

-It's a very effective form of intimidation

-Cause think about it, are you gonna want to fight a person wearing a flame proof suit, that isn't speaking, and is just giving you the thousand yard stare? No, you wouldn't

Demoman:

-Poor baby can be quite insecure. I feel so bad for him

-Constantly worries about not being good enough. He's so used to being beat down by the people around him that he doesn't have good self-esteem

-He will stand nearby you, waiting for you to notice him, looking like a sad and lost puppy

-Once you finally notice him, you'll have to pry him open to find out what's wrong. He doesn't like burdening you with his problems so he tends to sit and stew about everything til he bursts

-He will need to to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. He needs a lot of verbal reassuring cause he's a worrying lad

Heavy:

-Heavy? Jealous? Where?

-While Scout, Demo, and Sniper might be the top three most jealous, Heavy, Engie, and Spy are the least jealous

-Heavy is this big, strong bear, why would you ever wanna settle for less? Like, frfr, you'd have to have an IQ less than an orange to stoop to such lengths

-But let's play along and say that he did get jealous. One of those very rare times it happens. He knows he doesn't have to do much to make the offender leave, all he has to do is stand there

-And stare.

-And stare..

-And stare...

-He's got that resting angry face so he just has to stand behind you and exist to make people leave you alone. It's kinda funny to think about it. He'll gently take your hand and leave after that

-Why be around people when you two can be locked away in a quite room with a good book?

Engineer:

-Again, not a jealous person. But he does have his moments sometimes

-He's a confident boy and knows you wouldn't do anything. Plus have you seen him? He's an intelligent man, got such a nice voice and accent, and can build a machine to keep you safe

-When he jealous, he's passive aggressive. He doesn't like to be hostile, especially so up front, so he'll do little things to help get his point across

(Would give examples but I'm not passive agressive, I'm just aggressive, oops)

-He'd come up to you, slide an arm around you, give you a kiss on the cheek, and say how he was looking for ya while side eyeing the offender

-THAT MAN COULD USE HIS VOICE TO SEDUCE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, FIGHT ME

-Weirdly enough, I can see him as someone who will look into the offender, find all the person's info and hand it over to Medic, basically saying "Here's someone you can harvest organs from. Have fun, Pookie."

-Then Medic and Engie proceed to make out and get married. The end

Medic:

-Medic's an interesting fellow. I feel like he's like Pyro where it all depends on his mood. Somdays, he doesn't give a shit, and other days, HE'S FUMING

-He will NOT tolerate the disrespect  >:(

-Cue sassy Medic. This man will verbally murder a bitch and I'm here for it

-Will get "handsy" with you (he'll just throw himself on top of you, maybe even make you hold him bridal style if you're strong enough)

-Will be loving all over you while verbally berating the offender. Everything is getting called out. EVERYTHING. He wants to ensure his point is made

-Buuuut, this can also be a chance to score some fresh, new organs. He's always in the market for that stuff so he can easily kidnap the offender and harvest the goods. And no, you can't talk him out of it. Once his mind is made up, nothing can stop him

Sniper:

-Oh my poor baby boy. Where do I even begin with you?

-Sniper can't help but get so jealous so easily. He's never been one to have relationships with people so when he is in one, he gets so insecure at times

-Worries he's not good enough at times. He know he's a "quirky" individual, so he worries you'll want to be with someone who's more "normal"

-Will stand nearby, giving the offender dirty looks. They can feel the daggers that Sniper is giving them, it's enough to make them leave

-Afterwards, he'll pull you away from everyone and be all over you

-While Demo needs verbal reassurance, Sniper needs physical reassurance. So please love on him and tell him it's gonna be okay and that you love him and only him

-But I can also see him needing to prove that he's better than any guy through "fun" means (Medic would too but I forgot to add it. They both horny jealous people)

Spy:

-Again, not a jealous person, and rightfully so

-We all know how suave this man is. He can pull anyone and everyone without even trying

-But I'm sure even Spy has his own moments when he feels a slight bit of jealousy

- He'd be so pissy with the offender. Like, fuck you, pal. That's MY partner

-Welp, time to go over there and seduce you all over again, which isn't hard for him to do. He's got that magic in him, ya know? He;s a man who knows what words to say and what moves to make. He'd make the offender jealous that they couldn't be with Spy

[mrsvalentinefucker1]

Support class dick hc, kinks + How they fuck

Cw: knives, rough sex, blood

Sniper

•Dick: I’d say about 6, 6 1/2 inches if I’m being generous here. Definitely not thin, it’s got some girth to it that’s for sure. He never ever clean shaves he thinks it looks weird (he’s not wrong) so he’ll definitely just trim up a little or maybe not at all. Wild man moment. Plus, he kinda loves the scruffy look he has going on. I know everyone says he’s uncircumcised and i definitely agree with that. Tip is not red but definitely a deep pink, it’s cute. Two visible veins, one on the top of his shaft and one underneath it. So he’s very very sensitive.

•How he fucks: Rough. He likes to be fucked hard and to fuck hard. His favorite position to see you in is definitely mating press or doggy style (with a knife to your throat) he loves to see your face contort with pleasure and fear. He’s very vocal i mean haven’t you heard his voice lines. Come on. He loves telling you how great of a fuck toy you can be when you aren’t being a cunt or a teasing slut. He doesn’t have a favorite place to cum really.. Whenever he gets his rocks off is where it stays so.

•Kinks

Praise: definitely, but backhanded praise “look at you, good little slut.” Stuff like that you know?

Predator vs prey play: I know this is so basic but oh my goodness he LOVE LOVE LOVEEEESSS to chase you down and just fuck your brains out if your skull. Like I said, he likes it rough. (Me next)

Knife play: Ofc this is one of them. That mf is a literal animal. He just likes the power trip tbh. Having your life in his very hands, though he’d never do anything to ever hurt it.. it’s hot to watch your fearful eyes and if you enjoy it just as much as he does, you’re in for a ride of dirty talk and rough hard sex.

Public sex: touching you while in public. Something about it. Maybe it’s bc he likes to tease and see how long you can last without gripping his arm while shaking and begging to cum or maybe it’s because nobody around you can (probably) tell how good he’s pleasing you, and how they’ll never get a chance to touch a wonderful lady like you the way he does. Who knows

BREEDING: Though he is scared to have kids and will take every procedure to make sure you won’t get pregnant, he still loves to just cum inside of you all day, everyday. (Same sniper.)

Stepping: he probably likes to be stepped on. He’ll buy you beautiful, expensive heels just so you can step on him or press against his hard cock. (Meow.)

Spy

•Dick: solid 5 1/2, it’s not too thin but not exactly thick.. it stretches you very very nicely that is for sure. He trims it constantly. He is never out of order, he takes too much pride in himself to let it grow out like that wretched bushman. Uncircumcised, his dick skin is like.. oddly soft and velvety. One small vein on the side of his cock, it’s nice. Tip, I’d say, is a light cute pink.

•How he fucks: He either makes love for a long time or he plows you hard. Usually both. He rides the fine line very well. While he goes at it soft and caring, he teases you a lot. Vibrators, toys, his finger, his mouth. He just likes to tease you a lot.. but once he slips in, its game over for him. He can’t help it. He has to fuck you like an animal in heat.

•Kinks

Lingerie for sure. He loves to either buy them for you to give you his card to buy yourself some and then surprise him with it! (Will probably write a fic based off this)

Spanking or brat taming: He will absolutely wreck your ass if you talk back to flirt with ANYONE. He will spank you so hard you’ll become a babbling mess.

Body worship: Giving or receiving, he loves to tease you by kissing down your gorgeous body and leave small bites all over you. Nipping, kissing, nipping, kissing. You know. Backhanded kisses

Medic

•Dick: He’s German and from my experience, they’re packing serious heat. 7 inches hard. Argue with the wall because I will not listen. Tummy bulge will happen so be prepared. Much like spy he keeps himself in check, trims every couple of days. Circumcised, dark pink with a red hue tip. It’s sensitive as hell. No visible veins until he gets to fucking, then they all start popping out. Thick. Hard stretch that’s for sure.

•How he fucks: They all fuck hard but him.. dear lord. Pray and buckle up because he will bruise your cervix. He pounds. He doesn’t even fuck, HE SLAMS. bed? broken, operating table? broken, desk? Broken twice. He loves to just fuck you into a mindless mess. That’s all

•Kinks

Roleplay: He loves to roleplay anything really. Nurse and doctor, doctor and patient, boss and intern, things like that.

Knife play: scalpels are going to be pressed against your skin.. which leads me to my next kink hc

Blood kink: Licks the blood off of your wounds or the small cuts he marks your body with. If you have a period, best believe he will be begging to fuck you on it

“Meine Liebe! It feels so much better when you’re on your period, it also relieves cramps too!”

[chrisredfield73]

I have a tf2 request! Could I get some head cannons of an undercover mission trope? Like the mercs seeing the reader dressed up for a mission?

- feel free to ignore, but if you do write it, Ty!!

A/N: I LOVE THIS TROPE SM BRO. I'm down to write just about anything so don't worry! (Usually I do the bullet-point posts faster cause they're quicker to post! If you want a full story from any of these, lmk!)

For Spy's part:

Mon cher/mon cheríe means my darling or my treasure!

Edit: IM SO SORRY I FORGOT ENGINEER LAST NIGHT,, I WAS REALLY TIRED.

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Scout:

He's in his room when you walk in, his jaw drops to the floor as soon as he sees you and his eyes widen.

"Damn, toots/pal.."

He didn't expect you to be dressed up this nice, and to look so good...

After taking a moment to gawk at you, he gets that cocky smirk on his face.

"You look hot."

He's not the best at flirting, clearly, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try..

Soldier:

He was busy yelling at the other mercs before turning to look at you.

His eyes widen under his helmet and he tugs at his jacket collar.

"Wow.. Uh.."

He's speechless and getting flustered in front of all the other mercenaries..

"You look.. Good."

He's trying so hard not to show how flustered he is in front of the others, to no avail.

They're all over there snickering and making fun of Soldier.

Pyro:

He's sitting outside, thinking about 'Pyroland', when he hears footsteps behind him.

As soon as he sees you, he let's out a happy and muffled coo.

"Mmmf!"

He absolutely adores you in your nice dress attire, you look amazing!

He gets up and walks over to you, handing you a flower.

"Mmf mff mm mmf!"

He hopes you'll wear that outfit more often, he thinks it suits you really well!

No pun intended.

Demoman:

He's off in one of the storage rooms, drinking his scrumpy, when he sees you walk in.

He let's out a low whistle as he eyes you up and down.

"Aye, lookin' good there, lass/lad."

He's got a blush on his face, due to the alcohol or your good looks.. We'll never know.

He takes another swig of his drink, a slight smirk on his face.

"Ya want a drink?"

He offers you the bottle, still taking in the sight of your outfit and your form..

Heavy:

He's sitting in the armory, examining Sasha to make sure no one else has messed with his beloved gun and he hears you walk in.

He smiles at you, a light pink flush forming on his face.

"Heavy think.. You look beautiful/handsome."

He likes how well dressed you are, thinking that you should dress this way more often.

"You will do good, Heavy can tell."

He's not as flirty as the others, yet his stomach does flips as he looks at you..

Engineer:

He's sitting outside, by his truck, playing the guitar when you approach him.

He looks over at you and gives you a smile.

"Well, look at you.."

He thinks you look amazing, you should wear that outfit more.

He stops playing the guitar and offers a cheeky grin.

"Wanna sit here with me, hon?"

He's not as flirty as the others, but he absolutely adores you dressed up all nice like this.

Medic:

He's sitting in the medbay, in the middle of doing some crazy experiment that definitely has some life altering effects, when he notices you walk in.

He gawks at you for a moment before clearing his throat and smiling.

"You look good. Ja, very good."

He's a little awkward and he's definitely getting flustered.

He can't believe his eyes, you look amazing dressed like this.

"Did you.. need something?"

He tries to change the topic before he gets too flustered, but it's obvious to you that he's blushing heavily..

Sniper:

He's sitting in his van, cleaning his kukri, when you walk in.

He's one of the more stoic mercs, but you definitely have his jaw dropping.

"Damn, roo.. Y'look stunning."

He blushes, looking away to try and hide his flustered face.

He knew you'd look good but seeing you dressed like this in person makes him turn red.

"You wanna sit here for a bit?"

You caught his eye, as if you already didn't, and now he wants you to stick around more than ever...

Spy:

He's in his room, smoking a cigarette and listening to jazz, when you walk in.

He looks over at you and his mouth goes agape.

"You look.. stunning, mon cher/ma cheríe."

He's enamored, stunned by how well dressed you are and how good you look dressed like this.

He's silent for a moment, not knowing what to say.

"You have a perfect outfit for going undercover."

It's awkward, to say the least. He didn't expect this at all but he definitely likes what he's seeing..

[miintsprigz]

Hello! I loved your mercs x artist reader! I ran into it when I started a Spy art piece a few days prior. (Spooky!) I wanted to request something! Headcanons about a (g/n) reader fear-punching the mercs out of instinct. Like, what if scout just jumped out at the reader and the reader fucking DECKS him on accident. Preferably all mercs, but if that's too much, then just Scout, Spy, and Medic. Obv feel free to ignore, but thank you for your other written pieces!

Oooh, y’all have such good requests!!!

I’ll be honest, I’m pretty sleepy right now, but Scout, Spy, and Medic are some of my favorite mercs to write for, so I can definitely write those three.

May make a part two with the others when I have a bit more energy!

I hope you enjoy, dear Anon ^^

Characters used: Scout, Spy, Medic (TF2)

Warnings: Bit of blood, stuff relating to anxiety.

Scout:

Finally, the weekend was here. It had not been a good week for you in the slightest, and you were glad that it was done. You could unwind and take it easy now.

Kicking your shoes off as you entered, you closed the door, only to be greeted with a sudden blast of noise.

“Boo!”

Without even thinking, your hand curled into a fist, shot out and struck the figure square in the jaw. About a second later, you recognized the voice as belonging to the Scout.

“Ow!!! What the—?!” He groaned in pain, rubbing the side of his face.

“O-oh my gosh, Scout…I, I’m so sorry…”

He curled his lips inward for a second, biting them. Jeremy wasn’t mad at you—truly, he wasn’t, although it hurt crazy bad.

His first reflex when punched was to punch back…but he wasn’t going to punch you. Never you. So he had to freeze for a second, taking a deep breath, rolling his head to the side.

You kept apologizing, hands starting to shake a bit. Quickly, gently, he reached up and took ahold of one of them, gently squeezing his fingers around the back of it, tapping them almost rhythmically against your skin.

A small smile made its way to his face, shaking his head slightly.

“…ya know, if I was just getting back here, and someone jumped out at me…I think I’d slug ‘em too. You’re okay, (Y/N)… I’m sorry I scared ya.”

You wanted to cry for a second, and he could tell. Pulling you in quick, he brought his other arm up to hug you quickly.

“You okay?”

“I-I’ll be fine, just gotta breathe…did I hurt you too bad—”

“Been hit way worse than that, doll. Ya do got a mean right hook on ya though.”

You laughed, and that helped to catch your breath.

“Let me get you some ice…”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine, I’m tough…” Reaching up to gingerly touch the spot he’d been struck resulted in a wince though.

You jerked your head towards the kitchen. “C’mon.”

“Arright, if it makes ya feel better…”

“Oh shush.”

A quiet laugh cued you in that he’d be just fine after some ice.

He was noticeably careful with you as the day went on. You could tell he felt bad, but you’d said it was okay…and if he could take anyone at their word, it was you.

____

Medic:

Good word, you hadn’t been sent through respawn, but with how much your head hurt, you were starting to think that might have been a better deal than what you got.

Immediately, you sought out the Medic. If anyone could help you recover, it was him, of course.

You figured you’d just wait outside his office until he came back…not realizing he was already there. Hearing you outside, the doctor slowly, silently opened the door, and went to tap you on the shoulder.

Obviously, you hadn’t expected to see anyone, let alone feel a hand on you, and the pain had you on autopilot, so you spun around and—

“Ach!”

“Medic??? Crap—you scared me, I didn’t mean—I’m sorry, I—I just need—it hurts so bad—!”

Great. So now you were in pain after a long day, and you’d (accidentally) clobbered the only guy who could fix it! This was one of those “last straw” moments though, and Medic could tell.

“Oh (Y/N), no need to explain! Take a breath for a moment, bitte (please)! I promise I am fine…oh no…”

You tried to breathe, but it caught in your throat. His eyes were locked onto you, gently grasping your shoulders. Tears had threatened to spill down your face, and this got them falling. You sniffled, trying to keep composed.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“There there, come, walk with me…”

The two hands on your shoulders became one hand gently grasping yours, leading you to a cot in his office to take a seat.

“Where is the pain? Point. I will fix it.”

Somehow, the compassion and somewhat surprising gentleness only made you cry more, but you pointed to your head.

“Ooh, ja, after what I saw you put through today, I’m not surprised—my head would hurt, too.”

Before you knew it, a light flickered on above you, and as the machinery whirred, your pain waned and disappeared entirely.

“There! Good as new.”

Your voice broke when you tried to speak. “Doc…”

“What is it? Does it still hurt? That shouldn’t be…”

He leaned down a bit so that he was on eye level with you. You shook your head.

“I punched you…I didn’t mean to punch you, I didn’t even want to, I…I’m so sorry…”

You knew you’d calm down in a minute, but right now you couldn’t help yourself, and it seemed like he understood that. Before you knew it, he’d hugged you tightly, holding you close to his chest. Tousling your hair lightly with one hand, he shushed you softly.

“Shh shh shh…it’s alright, Liebling, I know reflexes when I see them. I shouldn’t have done that—I’ll tell you that it’s me next time, that’s all! If I can patch you up, I can do the same to myself, so…it’ll be like it didn’t even happen!”

You laughed a bit, and felt him rest his chin against the top of your head before both of you pulled apart.

Once again, his hand grasped yours, and he quickly took your other one too.

“Feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah…thanks, Medic. I appreciate it.”

“Of course, (Y/N). Of course.”

________

Spy

Being a close companion of the silent killer, it only made sense that he’d scare you by mistake at some point. Without even meaning to.

You’d even imagined the scenario in your head. And yet. When it actually happened, you still weren’t ready.

Waking up after a series of weird dreams, you went to head downstairs to grab some water and hopefully head back to bed.

Standing there, with the only real light source being the tiny bulb in the back of the fridge, you grabbed a cup and filled it up, not even bothering to sit down to drink it.

Feeling someone brush against your shoulder, you flinched hard and felt your fist go up of its own accord.

It made contact, with a yelp following it.

“Ah!”

“…Spy? Oh no…”

The Spy held one hand over his nose, groaning quietly.

“Hello, (Y/N). You’re up rather early.”

“I’m so sorry, you scared me—”

There was a brief flash of realization over his eyes, and you recognized a bit of shame.

“…you know what, fair enough. I did not think that through.”

Pulling his hand back revealed that he was bleeding quite a bit. “…well, that’s not good. Excuse me.”

Spy was so…matter of fact, about this? It almost put you at ease, but not quite enough. You followed him as he briskly walked to the bathroom, having to scramble along a bit to keep up with him.

“Did I break it?”

“No, I don’t believe so. Breaks hurt much more than this.”

It wasn’t too surprising to hear that someone who was basically a secret agent had broken his nose before.

He looked over at you with confusion flitting across his face, having finally cleaned up most of the blood. Brows furrowed together, he sounded truly puzzled.

“…(Y/N), you didn’t strike me as being afraid of blood.”

“I-I’m not!” You didn’t like how sharply your voice came out, but you couldn’t seem to change it much.

“Well, what’s the matter then? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Spy, I…I punched you. I hurt you.”

“Hmm, debatable really. Punched me, yes. Hurt me? Only for a moment. The bleeding is already stopping.”

You looked at him, bewildered, and felt your face quickly heating up. His expression softened, sighing quietly as the slightest trace of a smile came to his face.

“…Mon coeur (my heart), I’m alright. Please, don’t get yourself upset over it.”

Without thinking about it, you stumbled forward slightly and hugged him. He stepped back a bit at first, surprised, but quickly followed suit, stroking your hair.

“Takes a lot more than that to hurt me. Besides, I took you completely off-guard. I’d argue you just demonstrated sharp reflexes.”

Once Spy pulled back, you realized he was still in that suit.

“Well, at least there’s no blood on your suit.”

With a chuckle, he smirked at you. “Yes, good point.”

“…Why are you fully dressed at this hour anyway? Do you sleep in it?”

Spy rolled his eyes at you. “Absolutely not. I just got back. Late night mission, you see.”

“Ohhhh…”

Leaning against the bathroom counter, a playful tone warmed his voice. “If it will set you at ease, I can regale you with the tale…”

Yes, Spy loved to talk about himself, but this genuinely did seem like it was an attempt to help you calm down. Eagerly, you scrambled to sit on the edge of the tub, playfully resting your chin in your hands as if ready to hang onto every word.

With a snort, he shook his head. “I don’t think this would be a good place for it.”

“Oh!”

Quickly, you got to your feet again, and he bit back a grin as he slipped his arm around your shoulders, heading over to his smoking room.

[crabonfire]

☆ Would merc still like you if merasmus turned you into a worm 🪱 ☆

characters: all mercs

tags: crack but not really I'm taking it kinda seriously, reader has a platonic relationship with the mercs

note: maybe someone's done this before idk I felt compelled to write something tf2 related and this is lowkey all I fucking got lmao

Also this is ridiculously long for a fic that was supposed to be crack so my bad (this was longer actually, but I cut out a bunch of yapping)

●○●○●

• I feel like Scout's first reaction instead of panicking is to curse and threaten Merasmus.

"OUT OF EVERY SHITTY THING YOU COULD'VE DONE, YOU TURNED THEM INTO A FRIGGIN' WORM?!"

• He's yelling, so much to the point where Merasmus just teleports away and ignores it, finding it funny (of course he finds it funny what a dick)

• He realizes that when he was so busy yelling at Merasmus, he had lost you. He panicked, looking around the ground with a horrified frown, cursing to himself as he started to dig, looking closely. When he finally found you, he placed you on his hand with a frown, looking at how you moved against his fingertips. He wanted to cry a little, he really didn't know what to do.

• He's placing you under his hat. Usually he'd find worms or maggots gross as hell, and if he was going to be honest he still found you gross, but it was you, so...

• Then he rushes back to base, the panicked look on his face never leaving him. He alerts all the other mercs, making a huge fuss over how, you're a worm now, and they need to help him get back at merasmus to turn him back.

He's holding you in his palm, and you're just wiggling around like nothing is wrong cause you're a worm now. And the rest of the mercs look at him like he's crazy.

• Spy, Sniper, Medic, and Heavy are convinced he's lying. Demo believes him a little since he's experienced Merasmus' antics. Soldier automatically believes him fully since the worms there, but you're not, so that must be you. Engineer is just trying to keep the peace, trying to calm scout down, but it doesn't work as no one is listening to him.

• The team is skeptical, thinking that this is some elaborate prank and that, you're just out for a couple hours. But when you don't return tomorrow for the fight, or return after, that raises some suspicions on where you are.

• Ms. Pauling doesn't know where you are either. So is it true? Are you really the worm?

• A meeting is held, everyone stands around the rounded table, the light shining down on you. You're in your little wormy home, slithering and worming your way through life, forgetting your identity, eating leaves and sleeping in dirt.

The mercs watch as you're doing your worm thing.

Engineer clears his throat, making the attention go to him. He turns to Scout, and the confusion in his voice is evident as he speaks.

"Scout, you're absolutely positive that, this worm is (y/n)?"

Scout responds with an aggresive nod, the slight panic and frustration shown in his expression.

"I told you, its them! I saw it happen with my own two eyes, Merasmus found em, they got zapped and poof- they're a worm! A freakin' worm!"

• The team continues to look at you, so peaceful, so calm, being a worm. They don't know why, but, now it was much easier to believe him. The worm was just like you, chill and...cool...and awesome...and wow... amazing..

"So...what? They're just a worm now?"

Sniper said, picking up the jar you were in, looking at you curiously.

"I don't think they'll be too happy stuck like that."

Engineer spoke once again, "If they got turned into a worm, there's...probably a way to turn em' back, right?"

• That was enough to bring hope to Scout's mind. Of course! That was it, if he could find Merasmus and maybe force convince him to turn you back, everything would be okay! All his sadness had dissipated, and he was quick to start making plans.

• So they did, the team would go hunting for Merasmus, and make him turn you back. In the meantime, they'd take turns taking care of you.

• Scout liked to hang out with you, pretending like it was just like before, where you and him would sip sodas together and talk about anything and everything. He'd pour some soda in the dirt you were in, not really caring of the consequences and thinking everything was the same with you two. He really missed having someone to talk to, though.

"Man, I hope you can hear me. It'll be like, super fuckin' weird if I've been talking to you and you're not even in there.."

• Pyro wouldn't really see a difference. That sounds mean, but its really nothing personal. Though now that you were a worm, you weren't as scared as them as you usually were. They'd sit you down, with their plushies, having a nice tea party, watching carefully as you'd just slither about as a worm.

• Soldier was...confused. You, who once was a brave and selfless fighter, was now a worm. It fascinated him and scared him at the same time. He'd get awkward around you, wondering if you remembered him. He'd talk to you mostly, sometimes petting you...He'd try to.

"EVEN IF YOU'RE A WORM, YOU'RE STILL STRONG TO ME!"

"...You're still in there aren't you?"

• Demo wouldn't really know what to do with you either. He finds it kinda funny how you got turned into a worm. Unlike Scout or Soldier, he doesn't really panic, knowing you'll probably be fine, worm or not. He does miss having you to talk to, like scout. Sometimes he'd just be in the living room, and you'd be by the table in your little jar. He'd just watch curiously, but wouldn't really do anything.

• Same thing goes for Sniper. He legit doesn't really know what to do or say. But, he is a little afraid that you won't turn back into a person. Unlike Scout, he found that you weren't 100% obnoxious or annoying, someone to have chill conversations with after battle. He'd keep watch over you, letting you sit with him as he's chilling on top of his van. Sometimes he'd even bring you out with him in battles as he's camping out enemies during fights. He always makes sure you're safe, though.

• Heavy really liked you. He found you someone worth talking to, and a solid member of the team, so it was a bit jarring to see you turned into a worm. He'd keep his hopes up, though, talking to you like normal. Sometimes he'd watch you like Demo did, curious about you and your little world. It was weirdly calming, after battles he'd be worn out, and when he'd see you worming your way through leaves and dirt, it relieved him a little.

• Engie was a little off put by it, the same way soldier felt. You're just...a worm now? Huh. He doesn't really know what to say to that. Medic and him share the same thought, and that thought is, are you concious? Are you aware that you're a worm? Or are you mindless?

They can't help but think of it that way, in a practical sense. Medic would have to hide you from archimedes and the rest of his doves, who would love to eat you at any given chance.

Sometimes they'd do tests on you. Nothing painful or dramatic but, tests to see if you're still in there. They're really overthinking it.

Engie likes having you in his workshop late at night, makes him feel less alone when you're just worming. Medic keeps you at a distance, just to make sure he doesn't lose you or, have one of his doves eat you.

• Spy, is, kind of grossed out. Nobody has a close relationship with him. He did have a lot of respect for you, both on and off the battlefield. You were just a decent human being who he found a liking to, now you're...a worm. A gross, slimy worm.

He never let you into his smoking room, actually he never even let you out of your jar. He liked you, respected you, but liked you more as a person.

He feels pity, honestly, and just wants you to either be out of his way, or back to normal.

• When you do eventually turn back into a worm, they're all pretty glad. They all have questions, ranging from "Were you really in there? Like were you- aware?" And then "Was it nice being a worm?"

I'm sure you can tell who's asking which question and such.

○●○●○

this what comic 7 leak does to a person

[wisteriaiswriting]

Mercs as Parents Headcanons

Words: 2379

Jeremy either takes after his mother and is the absolute top tier caretaker, or just like Spy and can’t do shit for you.

He doesn’t even realize how many skills he has picked up from his Ma growing up.

Will spoil you with everything he can get his hands on. (Tries his best to make sure you don’t grow up similarly to how he did.)

Every chance he gets he’ll bring you along to meet his Ma and brothers, so your Grandma and uncles, alongside any cousins that come along.

Really enjoys going on morning jogs with you, but if that isn’t your thing he’ll play some baseball with you.

***

If he was being honest, cooking wasn’t one of his favourite activities. But if and whenever you asked he never minded, actually excited to do this for you. Reminding him of his Ma, which led him to messaging her for recipes to use in the future, helping him for today's breakfast.

Looking many times at the pancake recipe sent over from her, they were basic buttermilk but there were plenty of toppings stashed away. He managed to get a decent pile finished before another merc entered the kitchen, not needing to turn to know who it was.

“THERE'S THE SMELL OF A CLASSIC AMERICAN BREAKFAST!”

“Yeah, yeah, there ya go pal.”

Reaching over to the plate to grab the top pancakes, ignoring the heat to throw them right at Soldier. Who caught them, cramming the first one into his mouth while tearing the other one apart to give to his raccoons. When it was finished the group of them rushed out, leaving Scout and you together again.

Within minutes the rest of the batter was cooked, the stack of pancakes were separated onto two plates. Sliding them across the table, meaning you had to grab both so they wouldn’t go sliding off. While he dug through the pantry, grabbing any types of syrups and toppings he could find.

Walking back over to you and letting everything drop onto the table, sitting down himself before reaching for the sugar.

“Eat up, don’t want any of ‘em going to waste. Ma would’a whooped any of us kids for wastin’ that!”

Guess you’re American now. Solly will not listen, and doesn’t really care what you say about it.

Keep him away from the kitchen, he cannot make the simplest of meals that are not MRE’s.

Just because he gave you the title of Sergeant doesn’t mean he’ll go easy on you in training, if anything he has you train harder.

Is very quick to get you ‘matching’ uniforms. (He claims it’s a Sergeant’s uniform but there’s really no difference.)

Will gladly get you your own raccoon. (Likely you’ll have to name it as he’ll give it the dumbest and most American name.)

***

The lot of you had just finished eatting dinner, allowing everyone to go off and do whatever they wanted. Which meant Soldier had gone somewhere doing something, either way at the moment you didn’t care what he was doing.

Until a loud, constant knocking started on your door, continuing ‘til you opened the door, finding the very man standing there all proud. In his, now scratched up and bleeding arms was a very unhappy raccoon. It was throwing itself around, screaming or whatever noise raccoons made.

Lieutenant Bites scampered around his feet, screeching back at the one in his arms before rushing into your room.

“SERGEANT, MEET THE NEWEST RECRUIT, UH… What's your name?”

His shouting quieted down for a few seconds to ask it, not that it’ll actually answer him. Only letting go when he noticed something in its mouth, holding it closer to find a finger. Confused until you shouted at him.

“SOLLY, IT BIT OFF YOUR FINGER!”

“OH!”

Not caring as the raccoon ran off into your room as well, rushing to grab the finger and bring him all the way to Medic.

No one is really sure who is caring for who at this point, and you don’t think the two of you know either.

They’re constantly dedicating and giving you drawings and plushies whenever you need them or even just when they feel like it.

Very often visits Engineer about anything and everything really, not that he ever minds the company. (Engineer feels like a very proud grandpa everytime Pyro comes by.)

It’s much easier and better if Pyro doesn’t cook, although they can make any easy to eat / make meals, so you won't ever starve.

If anyone ever tries to mess with you, they’ll have to go through Pyro first.

***

Pyro wanted to colour with someone, and with Engineer busy they wandered around to find you. Their first stop was your room, but with no luck finding you they walked around until they reached the living area. About to launch themselves over when they noticed how you were sitting, hunched over with your head dropped into your hands.

A few seconds passed before they moved again, rushing out of the room all the way back to their own. Grabbing one of their many plushies before returning, slowly approaching you. The familiar sight of Pyro didn’t phase you, nor did them sitting next to you.

What did surprise you was a plushie pushed into your arms.

The soft animal shouldn’t have brought you to tears but it did, wrapping your arms around it while holding it closer to you. Pyro had already placed their colouring book and supplies down, quickly wrapping their arms around you to pull you closer. You felt the cold material of their mask gently sit on your head as a faint, muffled hum could be heard.

He knows he isn’t the ‘parently’ type of man, it definitely didn’t help that everyone else said the same thing.

If you don’t like him drinking he’ll try to slow down, he really does and means well, but considering him and his body it’s quite hard to do.

Whether you ask him or not, at some point he’ll start going on about anything that comes to his mind, which can range from simple Scottish myths and legends to past situations he’s been in.

Is quite reluctant to let you meet his mother at all. (Even if she bullies him, she knows him well. Realizing how much he cares for you, so she cuts you some slack, not Demo though.)

He doesn’t care one bit about where you’re from or what language you speak, he will teach you some Scottish slang, and even some of the language itself.

***

You weren’t sure if the timing of your death was good or not, but either way it meant you didn’t have to walk all the way back to base. Able to have all your weapons and other accessories put away before any of the others returned, expecting Scout to come rushing through the door.

Finding out why when the door opened, seeing Demo slumped on his shoulder, arm thrown aross Scout. Eagerly chatting away while the younger merc barely spoke back, until he saw you.

“Y/N, back already?”

At your name Demo stood on his own, only for a few seconds though, collapsing onto you while using his empty hand to ruffle your hair.

“Y/N, laddie! Did I ever finish tellin’ ye about the…” Taking a quick drink of his scrumpy, “The selkie I ran into, a bit ago?”

Out of all the mercs he actually knows the most due to caring for his sisters.

There are times he will baby you, so you’ll need to let him know when it’s going too far so he backs off.

Most nights, if not all, are spent with him reading you books and reciting russian legends. (If you don’t understand Russian, he’ll spend time trying to translate them for you.)

If he ever finds out you aren’t eating properly he’ll spend hours cooking meals for you everyday if needed. (Proudly makes his mother’s recipes.)

He’s another person who keeps a close eye on your during battles, and tries to keep you near him and Medic.

***

The room was filled with the smell of cooked meat and vegetables, you sat at the dining table while Heavy stood in the kitchen. Soon a bowl was placed infront of you before he walked away again, it was a clear liquid with chopped up meat,

“That is Ukha, soup with fish.” Looking up at him, still waiting for the oven to finish. “This is Shashlik,” When it finally did finish he pulled the tray out, dumping the meat onto two plates. “Meat served on sticks.”

“They’re not on sticks though?”

Laughing at your words, placing the full plates on the table before opening a box next to him, pulling out said sticks.

“Here, sent all the way from Siberia.” Taking the plates to stab multiple bits of meat onto them, sliding the finished meal over to you when he was done. “As I work, eat, you need to grow stronger.”

Dell is probably the best parental figure out of the nine of them.

He gives you all the petnames he can think of. (Alongside Pyro, who has become your new sibling.)

Allows you two to sit and spend time in his workshop while he’s working, but gave you special permission to stay in there without him. (Which is a huge privilege only given to one other person.)

He puts anything of yours at the top of his priority list.

Tries to keep a close eye on you during any fights, if possible he keeps you close to him or his sentry.

Lil extra here - He has given you and Pyro kinda matching petnames. You’re ‘Sugar’ while Pyro is ‘Honey.’

***

Dell was busy working on his next project, which neither you or Pyro currently cared about. Both of you were focused on your drawing, spending nearly half an hour switching colours, even starting over once before finally finishing.

Clapping their hands after standing up, you added your final details as Pyro caught Dell’s attention.

“What’s up Honey?” Pointing back to you as you walked over, holding the paper behind your back. “Sugar?”

Swiftly placing it into his hands, unable to see much of his reaction has his goggles covered his eyes. Soon after he pulled them off, letting you both see his teary eyes.

“Aren’t you two sweet as pie…” All three of you knew how sweet you were, considering your petnames. “C’mere…”

Welcoming you both over into his embrace, carefully placing the drawing safely behind him on his desk.

Special dove privileges, you swear he might also be one with the amount of time he spends cooing over you.

He takes extra care during your surgeries, promising not to mess with anything he doesn’t need to.

Speaking of surgeries, if you ever feel like assisting him in any he will gladly welcome you. (The others are kinda scared though.)

You and Heavy are at the top of his priority list, on and off the battlefield.

He is a massive hypocrite, because if you dare mess one meal he will be on your ass about it.

***

While he was focused on some work, Archimedes had managed to slip out of the infirmary. Not realizing until hours later, when calling out didn’t reveal the bird he rushed around trying to find her.

Eventually he realized she must’ve left the room so he had to go searching, and luckily he didn’t need to search for long. Turning a corner and nearly running into you,

“Ah, Y/N, zere is a small problem…”

“Missing Archimedes?” Holding out your arms as you spoke, “Cause she came looking for me.”

He paused for a few seconds, taking in the sight.

“Aren’t you two just adorable!”

It is petnames galore! At first he might seem embarrassed but quickly embraces them. (Main ones are Roo, Joey, Chick and just adding lil onto them.)

He actually had good (adoptive) parents, so he knows how to do most things.

Doesn’t mean to, but he’s a slight helicopter parent. Keeps you in his scope and all around view.

Will give you a key and free access to his camper van.

***

This man is another massive hypocrite, he makes sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well and staying healthy. (If you bother him back enough, he will do the same alongside you.)

It wasn’t new to not see Sniper having meals with the team, opting to spend that time in his camper. So he normally came by before it started, but today he was a bit behind. Walking into the room towards the counter, grabbing his plate before making his way back out.

Walking behind you, lightly patting your head.

“Come on, Roo.”

He didn’t wait for you, walking out as you scrambled to grab everything. Finding him standing at the main door to go outside, continuing when you reached him. The walk to his camper was quick but it was a comfortable silence.

Which was cut short when you both got comfortable inside, filling the air with laughter and conversation.

You should feel lucky that Scout isn’t aware of the relation between him and Spy, otherwise there would be a real one sided competition.

Please give him a break, he’s old and is nowhere near good at parental things.

Constantly leaving you all types of gifts in your room whenever you either mention wanting something, or he thinks you might enjoy it.

Gives you every petname he can think of (English and French), and at this point you think he might’ve forgotten your name.

He definitely tries to teach you french, praising you if you pick it up quickly while holding conversations.

***

“Qu'est-ce que j'ai dit sur le fait de surveiller ses arrières?”

"Qu'il faut toujours être sur ses gardes..."

Spy was cut off by the sound of the door opening, looking over to find Scout standing in the doorway. He was clearly unprepared to find Spy in here, willingly talking to you much less.

“What's uh, going on here?”

"Nous pouvons dire qui est le meilleur enfant."

It took you a minute to realize what he was saying, and with a smug look from him it clicked. Sending you into a full blown laughter, while Scout was confused.

“What’s wrong with you two?”

***

"What did I say about watching your back?"

"You always have to be on your guard..."

"We can tell who the best child is."

[demoman-kisser420]

Cuddling headcanons for the mercs <3

(All nine❤️)

Medic

This man loves to hold you istg he will just hold you to his chest and play with your hair as yall fall asleep

Sniper

Definitely a spooning guy if yall are sleeping in his van there's limited space and he's just adapted to sleeping on his side

Heavy

This man LOVES holding you like you will sleep on him he wraps his arms around you and reads as you fall asleep on him

Demoman

This man Definitely will just rest his head on your chest as he falls asleep he likes when you pet him slighty

Soldier

Definitely like demoman but also likes to protect you so he likes it either way he won't fall asleep before you at all like his brain won't let him

Engineer

Loves spooning and he will rub your thighs or back before you guys go to sleep also wouldn't be apposed to sleeping in between you thighs

Pyro

They love to hold you as you sleep like they won't let go at all the mask comes off during sleep they like when you trace there burn scars (I'm going off the unofficial pyro face by valve)

Scout

This man loves you laying on his chest it makes him feel confident that he can protect you he will play with your hair till you fall asleep

Spy

He's a romantic guy so really he wants you to lay on his chest but he also like spooning he's always gonna be the big spoon btw he wispers French as yall fall asleep

(I think I'm getting better but If you spot some spelling mistakes I'm sorry)

[fatfuckingcatstuff]

Fuck it, two asks in a row 💫cose i can💫

How about mercs (ur choice bestie) x reader whos a climber, full out monkey mode

Heavy is basicly a jungle gym and hes not the only one to suffer. There is a spider jumping around the walls on every map they play now. Holding to walls with no holds no problem and stuff.

(Climbers are so cool omfg)

I prefer platonic but if you get any nice ideas for romantic then go for it

Thx in advance even if you decide not to write this babe <3

~🫀

What's up shorty sure I can absolutely do that

ALL MERCS

oh what the absolute fuck

why can you do this how are you even able to do this when did you discover you could do this

Someone could be in the kitchen trying to grab a nice snack after a long day. Then from the corner of their eye they see their co worker hanging off the fucking ceiling munching away on a sandwich.

They lost something and can't find it? Boom it's taped onto the ceiling now haha.

Initially impressed by your skills yet still somewhat a little horrified.

Don't get him wrong, he's amazed at how you can just scale from wall to wall without falling. He's just scared he might catch you in a horrifying position late at night staring at him, or rather.. waiting to pounce from anywhere.. 😨😨

Scout

Guess whos going to exploit that skill of yours to annoy another merc!!

You guys are the annoying duo now. Teaming up every round, and absolutely demolishing the enemy team with your wack ass skill combos.

Soldier, Demoman, Pyro

Dear lord what the fuck even. No major reaction to it but are silently impressed at how you are able to stick to any surface.

Will get a little scare here and then everytime they catch you in positions you arent supposed to be in, like on the walls for example.

"Oh fucking 'ell mate."

"Mon dieu."

Sniper, Spy

Oh mein gott!

Impressed and would totally not try to implant spider dna into you. (SPIDERMAN REFERENCE!?!? 1!?2!2(#(#!#!#)

Would try to persuade you to let him experiment on you. Trying to see if he could enhance your skill even more, perhaps make you able to climb faster and extend your endurance.

Medic

Oh that's awesome sauce. Would gladly let you swing around them due to their bigger bodies. Making it the perfect jungle gym for you. Anyone who walked by would be a little dumbfounded to see a big guy have their co worker swing here and there from their arms as they did their usual jobs.

Loves to watch you perform any tricks you have up your sleeve. Though a little worried you might lose your grip one day, fall and hit your head.

Engineer, Heavy

[multifandomthoughts]

Spy, Sniper and Medic with a southern reader

Author’s Note: big thanks to @deathsimage for help with some of these, as they are southern themselves and were able to give me a perspective on what it’s like in the south!

Spy

First of all, all three of the mercs absolutely adore your accent. They think it’s adorable and fits you very well. Spy might have a harder time deciphering some of the idioms or phrases you use than others, however.

Finds your stories of you playing in the dirt catching frogs adorable. However, the thought of him doing that makes him grimace and shudder. Too messy for him. When and if he trusts you enough, he’ll tell you about his own childhood, which will different, still entails shenanigans.

Can’t help but laugh every time you get mad, as your yelling becomes a jumbled mess to him. He shakes his head as you scream phrases like “What in tarnation, I damn near broke my neck!”

In response to you teaching him southern phrases, he teaches you some easy French phrases. You do your best to incorporate them into your vocabulary, and when Spy hears this, he melts internally.

Sniper

Is super enthusiastic about you being from the south and doing all sorts of outdoorsy things as a kid. It means that you wouldn’t be opposed to doing outdoorsy things like camping or catching fish with him.

Tells you about his own childhood, and it’s a bit similar to yours. You bond over shared experiences and memories. Sniper has definitely had a lot of experiences with Snakes, so hearing you wrangled them as a kid impresses him.

You and him have very similar accents so you exchange some idioms with him. You laugh at all the different silly phrases you learn from each other.

You imitate each others accents every so often, bursting into laughter when it sounds particularly accurate. It’s all in good fun and you always make sure that it’s seen as such.

Medic

Is immediately interested in how much time you spent outside as a kid, and wants to do experiments determining if it had any impact on your immunity.

Wrong pronunciation? Wrong pronunciation. He feels comfortable around you because some of the words you say sound different due to your accent, and he’s aware that his accent can do the same.

He also thinks it’s adorable that when you get mad that your accent comes out, just like his does. You giggle at him when this happens, and he does the same for you.

For funsies, he teaches you German words that do not have any direct translation into English, like Backpfeifengesicht (face that begs to be slapped) or Dreikäsehoch (three cheeses high, measurement) so that you two can exchange insults towards the others without being caught.

[robin374]

TF2 MASTERLIST AND RULES

Rules:

NO: incest, suicide, adult x child (romantically), NSFW (I don't do it anymore)...

YES: Romantic, platonic, male x male, female x female, female x male, trans, gender neutral (I mostly write this)...

Just 3 or 4 characters, please :)

Masterlist

"Dont go please" || Sniper, Scout, Medic

Sniper with a S/O who doesn't mind his behaviour

Sniper with a S/O who's into skincare and fashion

Mercs reacting to a spider in their room || Engie, Scout, Sniper

Cuddling with Sniper

Mercs with a siren S/O || Sniper, Demo, Soldier

Mercs with a short S/O || Medic, Sniper

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

Drunk confession to Sniper

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

Sniper relationship headcanons

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

Mercs with an energetic, loud and animal lover daughter || Heavy, Engie, Sniper

One Bed trope || Medic, Soldier, Sniper

Being Tag-Teamed by Spy and Sniper

Demo x Reader x Sniper

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Aquarium date with Sniper

"Dont go please" Sniper, Scout, Medic x reader

Mercs reacting to a spider in their room || Engie, Scout, Sniper

Jealous Scout

Dancing with the mercs at a disco || Scout, Demo, Medic

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

One Bed trope || Scout, Demo, Engie

Scout with a Streamer/Youtuber S/O

Taking care of Scout || FemDom! Reader

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

Mercs reacting to a spider in their room || Engie, Scout, Sniper

Mercs walking you home while raining || Engie, Spy

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

Mercs with an energetic, loud and animal lover daughter || Heavy, Engie, Sniper

One Bed trope || Scout, Demo, Engie

Engie with a Male!S/O who's bad at math

Mercs reacting to their crush singing their fav song || Heavy, Medic, Engie

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Engie x Male!Reader || NSFW

Lying in an interrogation || Engie, Spy, Medic

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

"Dont go please" Sniper, Scout, Medic x Reader

"I lost my vision" "They lost their vision" Medic x Reader

Dancing with the mercs at a disco || Scout, Demo, Medic

Mercs with a short S/O || Medic, Sniper

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

One Bed trope || Medic, Soldier, Sniper

Mercs reacting to their crush singing their fav song || Heavy, Medic, Engie

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Lying in an interrogation || Engie, Spy, Medic

The Violinist's Dance || Medic x Reader

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

Soldier flirting with Fem!Reader

Mercs with a siren S/O || Sniper, Demo, Soldier

One Bed trope || Medic, Soldier, Sniper

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

Mercs with a siren S/O || Sniper, Demo, Soldier

Dancing with the mercs at a disco || Scout, Demo, Medic

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

One Bed trope || Scout, Demo, Engie

Demo x Reader x Sniper

Demoman with radio announcer/host S/O

Mercs with an energetic, loud and animal lover daughter || Heavy, Engie, Sniper

One Bed trope || Spy, Pyro, Heavy

Mercs reacting to their crush singing their fav song || Heavy, Medic, Engie

Mercs walking you home while raining || Engie, Spy

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

One Bed trope || Spy, Pyro, Heavy

Being Tag-Teamed by Spy and Sniper

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Lying in an interrogation || Engie, Spy, Medic

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

One Bed trope || Spy, Pyro, Heavy

Miss Pauling with a chaotic S/O

Nothing Yet!!

[prettyboypistol]

How mercs would react after having a wet dream

TF2 Mercs' Wet Dreams! ||TF2 x M!Reader|| +18 obviously

Scout

He imagines you shirtless and on his bed all cheesy porno style, you coax him over and pull him to the bed, kissing over his chest and murmuring about just how badly you need him.

He loves dreaming about you riding him and sucking him off, especially when you suffocate him in your chest and hold him close.

He has a recurring dream of you breathing heavily, panting out "Scout, Scout! Scout!" as you jerk yourself off as you ride.

Cums in his sleep and jerks off in the morning, sneaking away to wash the sheets early that morning.

Soldier

Solly is inspecting your dress code and orders you to attention for the formal inspection.

"Private! Will you do anything for your country?" "Sir, Yessir!" "No matter the cost, will you defend this base?!" "Sir, Yessir!" His voice a little quieter, yet slightly commanding as he leans into you. "Then show your major just how much you need his lead."

God, he loves imagining you in formal military dress as you kneel before him, praising his battle tactics and mouth full of dick.

Doesn't cum in his sleep, but it's a 70-30 shot that he'll grunt your name into his pillow as he ruts against his mattress.

Pyro

They imagine you as an angel, dawned in gloarious robes and with a halo and wings. Pyro isn't worthy- not a monster like them that can barely stay sane- yet you invite them forward and kiss their mask's forehead as you hike up your robe to expose yourself. "It's alright darling, you can touch me."

Secretly, Pyro wants to deflower you. They know you're probably not a virgin, but the idea of spoiling your virginity is so hot to them. The first one to touch your body, the first one to ruin you.

Pyro kneels and nuzzles your thighs in reverence as they touch you the way they desire. Their touches leave purple-black marks wherever they touch, actually staining you with sin. They feel so guilty about ruining an angel like you, but you're allowing them to!

Pyro does cum in their sleep, whimpering and writhing against their suit.

Demoman

Tavish's wet dreams start out like normal dreams- in a bar, drinking his heart out back in Scotland with his friends. Then he sees you from across the room. You give him a look that invites him over as you bite your bottom lip.

"Hey there sexy, you look like you could use some company." You flirt, petting Demoman's bicep. Tavish laughs and escorts you to the back of the bar, magically turned into a nicer bedroom as he lays you down.

It's a bit of a haze, but Tavish remembers thrusting into you and imagining how tight you mush be, he dreams about fingering you open with the hilt of eyelander if he's feeling a little fantasy-based rather than in the year of the lord 1971.

Sometimes he dreams of you fucking him, and those are the dreams that wake him up to stained sheets.

Heavy

In the cold russian nights, you knock on the door asking for a place to stay. Mikhail ushers you in and offers you a warm bath, which you graciously accept. Little do you know that there is a little hole in the wooden walls, where Heavy keeps an eye on you.

Mikhail touches himself to the sight of your naked back, as you seen to have the same idea in the bath, reveling in the now warm touches of your hands against your skin.

He hears you moan out his name as you masturbate, and that only fuels his fire more. He usually climaxes to a particularly loud and desperate begging from your lips.

Wakes up with a raging boner that he mostly will ignore, but will rarely take care of himself to the thought of you.

Engineer

You're kidnapped, tied up by the enemy- but you're naked and begging for someone to touch you! Engie is there to rescue you, but you look so handsome all vulnerable like that- you understand, don't you, darlin'?

Dell fucks you as you're tied up in the chair and mutters dirty things that make his sleeping body blush as he promises to fuck you in every way he can as he fucks you like a desperate man.

The feeling of your tightening around him and begging to let you cum, please don't call him daddy, he'll stain his sheets!

Is massively ashamed to touch himself when he's awake to thr thought of his coworker

Medic

You. On his operating table. Bound by the belts and struggling to escape as your dick is hard and tied with a little bow at the base. "To Medic" the gift tag says. Wouldn't it be rude to not use a gift?

He imagines you drunk on lust as he injects both you and himself with an aphrodesiac. Hazily, you two fuck on base instincts for hours as he shoves his cock deep into you over and over again, orgasm after orgasm until he was thoroughly used.

But you break your restraints, pin him against the table and fuck him from behind. It's your turn to use him like the cocksleeve he knows he is. Use him like a fleshlight, just as rough as you always imagine!

Doesn't cum in his sleep but jerks off into a test tube for research purposes later.

Spy

You and Spy are making out in his smoking room before you lay him down onto the couch, unbuttoning his suit and kissing all the skin you can reach as you undress him.

You finger him lazily with one hand, pouring him a glass of wine with the other. The glass is left on the side table as you suck hickeys into his thighs before you thrust into him.

It starts off slow- as it always does, you're always gentle at first- then you pick up the pace, drilling into him with reckless abandon as you chase your pleasure.

Spy sleepily jerks himself off from over his pyjama pants, more asleep than awake as he dreams of you absolutely wrecking him.

Sniper

He imagines you fucking yourself with your fingers in his Sniper Nest, holding his shirt close to you. You fuck yourself stupid as you moan out "Mundy, oh god, Mick- please fuck me!"

Mick loves watching, just like the creep he is. He loves the shame of watching someone through a sniper scope, even if he's not watching intimate moments like that. During missions, he likes to rub one out as he watches people do mundane things.

He fucks his fist in his sleep to the sight of you seducing him- the idea of you wanting him just as much as he wants you drives him insane.

[lunatic-pudge]

Scout, Pyro, Demo, Medic, Sniper, and Spy Relationship Headcanons

Can you tell which ones are my absolute favorite:')

Scout

• Unsurprisingly, it takes him a long time to get over his infatuation of Ms. Pauling (I'm 110% convinced she's a lesbian), so you must be basically a deity to be catching his attention (though he'd the type to flirt with EVERYONE)

• Golden retriever energy, also youngest child energy. Constantly wants to do everything for you but also needs constant attention. He's also used to be getting picked on by the other mercs and his older brothers so he'll be going to you for validation. But he also doesn't want to appear weak so it'll take some time to break through his (fragile) shell.

• Love language: physical touch and acts of services. Will be constantly trying to act like a macho man for you but will also beg to hold your hand. Cuddles are constant. He may not be good at being a handyman, but my gods he's gonna try his darndest. Plz tell him that he did a good job, he's trying his best.

• He's the best person to go to if you wanna go on randon and unexpected adventures. One minute you're both in Teufort, the next your across country at the beach up east coast. Poor thing gets yelled at a lot for just uping and leaving without notice.

• Local snack dealer. Ma is always making sure that he's got sweets on hand. His room has care packages from her with some of the most wholesome letters from her and the box if FILLED to the brim with sweets, treats, and soda

Pyro

• My little baby boo, a wholesome partner who would kill for you. Can get jealous very easily so you might have to hold them back from committing manslaughter.

• Love language: quality time and gift giving. Time with Pyro is time well spent. Constantly just wants to be in the same room with you. They don't do well when you're not around. Also loves to give gifts. Most of their gifts consit of stuffed animals and handmade drawings. Your room will be filled with gifts from this goofball.

• In my opinion, they're a lot more there than people realize. Some days are better than others though. They were literally CEO of an engeneering company! And I believe they made all their weapons to but I could be wrong on that. Homie is definitely reliable when they're having a good day, but on the bad days, just sit and spend time with them. You don't gotta say anything, just knowing your right there beside them is enough conformation to know you'll always be there no matter what.

• You two are little troublemakers. You'll constantly be up to no good with them. It seems like harmless fun, but you've both almost burnt down the base five times just this month!

Demoman

• Probably one of the best lovers you could have out of all the mercs (aside from Engie, they're competing for the number one spot). I'm deducting points cause of the nonstop alcohol consumpution. :(

• But he is a happy goofy dunk so thank gods for that. Always happy to be here. Very attentive, caring, cuddly, overall a good person to date or even just be friends with.

• Cause the constant alcohol ruined a good portion of his memory (and Medic as well), he writes down every little detail of you that he can in a little journal he secretly keeps on his person. Important dates, likes, dislikes, ect. The man has it on file in case of emergencies.

• Love language: gift giving and act of services. He works three jobs and makes over 5 mil a year, he's LOADED. He's gonna buy you the world if you ask. Definitely good at money managing so he never worried at how much gifts cost. He's also gonna try his darndest to help you out with any problems, though it can be a bit hard when you're constantly drunk. Hims trying his best, okay?

• Wants his mom to approve of you but knows how critical she is of him. Poor baby has some self-esteem issuses cause of her so please give him lots of love and support. It's hard when your mom never has anything nice to say about you and compares you to everyone else. It's a neverending struggle. :(

Medic

• You're definitley into weird and questionable people if you like this man, and that means we're best friends now. :D

• He will ask you to help him out with surgeries and organizing his lab. You're hims little nurse. He'd probably (absolutley) be getting you a nurse outfit with his symbol on it.

• He's very much the possessive type. What's his is HIS, no if, ands, buts, or questions about it. Would put a tracker in you so he knows where you are at all times, but someone would have to talk him out of doing it... for now...

• Constantly talks about you to his birds, if any on them ever have babies, he's naming one after you. Would get you a stuffed dove plushie to cuddle with at night when he can't be there with you

• Love language: physical touch and quality time, you're ALWAYS welcomed in his lab, in fact, he expects you to be there with him. Is the type to ask you to grab something and will graze his hands against yours when grabbing it from you. (then give a shit eating smirk afterwards) He'd also be the type to stand VERY close to you, and stand behind you in an intimidating way to keep others from talking to you.

Sniper

• This man is my all time baby boy so I have LOTS to say about him and how much I love him :')

• Is someone who takes a while to get close to, especially in a romantic way. He's just a shy little boy who's used to being alone. But isn't introverted, just has introverted tendencies (you literally see him hanging out with some of the other mercs in Expiration Date)

• Love language: words of affirmations and physical touch, he sucks at verbally saying how he feels about you but will leave cute little love notes around for you to find. He's also VERY touched-starved so he will just flat out lay on top of you if you let him. Loves hearing you say how much you love him, plz just hold his hands and say how much he means to you, he might just cry from it.

• Is also someone who goes on random adventures, but they're usually just out and away from everyone. But I could see him taking you to a zoo or aquarium to look at the animals. But you're not allowed to go to a Humane Society cause you'll be walking out with all the animals they have and raising them like they're your babies,

Spy

• Another gremlin who takes a long time to warm up to you. He's a grumpy old man who's never really been with someone in such a serious light (aside from Scout's Ma)

• Love language: gift giving and words of affirmation, another merc who would buy you the world if you asked. Will only buy you the best of the best and will throw hands with someone if it's not up to his standards. He could go on about his love for you. His words sound like poetry. You'd wake up with a bouquet of roses and one of the most beautiful love letters anyone has ever read.

• Is 50/50 on PDA, he'll wrap an arm around your waist, call you beautiful, and give you a peck on the cheek in front of others but that's about it. Any extreme PDA is to be in private or you're getting a scolding.

• Would definitely help you learn French. He's way more patient with you than anyone else. You've seen him yell and insult every merc a couple times (Scout getting the brunt of it), but he refuses to ever say anything negative about you

• Definitely the bragging type. He'll put you on a pedestal and go on about how gorgeous you are. How you were crafted by gods, and so on. He thinks he's better than everyone else so if you're with him, than you're right up there with him.

[mrsvalentinefucker1]

Teasingly

Sniper x f!reader x Spy

Light daddy kink, teasing, light knife play (sniper), handcuffs, eating out 🫶 scout is lightly mentioned

You were wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top.. since the New Mexico weather was so unforgiving that day. You chatted with Scout as Sniper sat next to you and Spy stood against the counter behind him. “An’ then I came up behind him and bam! Frickin’ knocked him out cold!”

You leaned against your arm, pushing your chest together slightly and unconsciously.

“Oh really?~ that sounds so cool, Jeremy.” Your voice was sultry as you admired his story. Sniper let out a low chuckle as he sipped his coffee. “what did you do after that?” You looked at Scout with half lidded eyes. Spy scoffed and bit onto the end of his cigarette.

Scout looked at you with wide eyes. A faint blush tickling his ears and cheeks as he did a little chuckle. His gaze moving immediately to your exposed cleavage before he answered “I uh, I actually gotta go! Just remember I got uh, this thing.. with the doc” he stayed silent to assess his story before speaking again “yeah that’s it.”

You cooed and pouted “Really? Oh that’s poor.. I was really enjoying your story.” You straightened your posture and leaned your cheek against your first.

He leaned his body slightly forward “Yeah,maybe another time!” Then he waved and ran to his room.

Sniper set down his cup and got up. Snaking his hands behind your waist. His dipped into your neck and began slowly kissing it. Spy moved forward some to enjoy the show before him

“You’re wrong for that, love.” His voice was low as he mumbled against your skin. You could feel his cock growing behind you as your leaned into his touch and let your hand rest on the back of his neck

“What did I do, daddy?”

Sniper damn near growled and bit down onto your neck with a scowl across his face and his eyebrows furrowed. You moaned quietly and bit down onto your lip.

Spy leaned against the table and put his cigarette out “I think you know what you did, Mon ange” he always started using French when he was getting in the mood. He moved up to kiss your lips, you furrowed your eyebrows and moaned into the kiss as Sniper continued kissing and biting your neck. Spy pulled away and spoke “I suggest we go somewhere more.. private” Sniper nodded and let go of your waist. The three of you walked to Spy’s smoking room. He unlocked the door and pushed it open as you walked in, the two men following after you. Spy guided you to sit onto the red velvet chair he had in the room and sat in front of you , Sniper dimmed the lights some before walking over and taking a seat in front of you on his knees with Spy. The two men spread your legs with ease. Sniper undoes your shorts and pulls them off. They both notice a slight wet spot and smirk

“What? Were ya’ planning this, roo?” You only cover your face in embarrassment and peaked as spy took his mask off. Then, pulled his gloves off with his teeth.

God, he was so much hotter without that pesky mask

Spy then took his ungloved hand and pressed two fingers gently against your clothed pussy. You bit the back of your knuckle as he teased you, arching your back against his touch. He lowered his head down slightly and lapped at your cunt through your panties for a moment. Little sighs leaving your chest as you grinded against his tongue. Sniper nudged him over slightly and lifted your legs to take your panties off and tossed them somewhere unknown behind him. They both put each of your legs over the arms of the chair. Your pussy on full display for them. Sniper took his glasses and hat off as he licked his lips and dived in to lick your hole teasingly, his prominent nose pressing against your clit deliciously. Your hands reached for his hair as his tongue dragged up to your clit and he began sucking lon it, gently circling it with his tongue. His eye meeting your until you sighed and shut them with a smile plastered across your face. Spy took two fingers and gently pressed them against your soaked entrance, pushing them in and curled them against your walls. You moaned at the feeling of the combined pleasures. Your senses quickly becoming overloaded by them men.

“Sniper, look at her.” Spy took his free hand and pointed unapologetically at you, then letting his hand fall into your thigh and rub your hips gently up and down. Sniper mumbled against your clit “Such a pretty girl.” He said before going back to his task. His stubble tickling your skin lightly. Spy’s pace became faster as he sunk his fingers deeper inside of you. “Do you like that, mon amour?”

You nodded vigorously as you bit you lip and continued your grip on snipers hair, tugging slightly. He must have liked it considering his pace had quick. Relentlessly lapping at your clit now. Your moans flooded the room as your orgasm built up “fuck fuck! I’m so- I’m so close-“ you moaned and grinned against the feeling, trying quicken the orgasm you chased. The men quickened to a rapid pace as your legs shook slightly at the feeling. Your vision went blank as you screwed your eyes shut, clenching around Spy’s fingers as your orgasm ripped through you. You relaxed into the chair, Spy and Sniper pulled away and wiped his face. Now they switched places. Your eyes widened at the sight “what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like?” Sniper shot back with a condescending glare. Spy began to teasingly lap at your pussy and Sniper pressed two of his bigger fingers into your cunt. Scissoring you open as he vigorously pumped into your sensitive hole, your body spasming at the feeling. “You look good like this, Sheila.” He nudged Spy and he nodded. Eyebrows furrowed and grey hairs sticking to his forehead.

Another orgasm fast approaching as Sniper bit at your thighs. Your hands gripped Spy’s hair and fucked yourself on his tongue. “I’m.. gonna cum- oh god!!” Spy pulled away when you said that. You whined “please. Please.. I was so close!”

“Yes I know.” Spy stood up and lifted you onto his lap as he sat on the chair you were once on. “But I don’t recall giving you permission to the first time, did I?” One of his hands was sitting on the middle of your back to hold you in place.

Your eyes widened. “N..no you didn’t..” you hid your face in embarrassment. “mauvaise fille.” A hard smack came across your ass, leaving a red mark and a painfully delicious sting with it behind. Sniper wiped his face and leaned against the chair as be watched your reddened face. Another smack fell onto your red bottom. “What do we say, mon chéri?” His clothed erection pressing against your tummy

You bit your lip in anticipation for the next slap

“P-please, I.. I’m sorry” You mumbled

Sniper kneeled down to you “What was that, doll? Daddy didn’t quite hear ya’”

Another smack fell harder this time and you yelped. If it wasn’t for his hand on your back you surely would’ve jumped up.

“I said! I’m sorry! I.. i didn’t know!” Tears began to fall down your cheek. Smudging your mascara slightly. Sniper smirked and stood up. He slipped to the other side of the chair and slipped two fingers into your dripping cunt humming as he did so. Watching your body tense at the sudden sensation You moaned against his touch. Your vision was going white before once again, it was ripped from right under you. Spy kissed you some but pulled away to speak

“Sniper, take her.”

Sniper stood in front of Spy and held his arms out for your body as Spy stood up and handed you to him as if you weighed nothing to them. Sniper hooked his arms under your legs and you wrapped your around his neck. Your wet pussy pressing against his clothed erection as you whimpered at the feeling, leaving a wet spot on his pants. He pushed a door in the smoking room open, it led to a smaller room with a bed in it. He laid you down and Spy followed through the door, locking it and setting the key on a nearby table.

Spy opened a draw and took out a blindfold, Sniper took a bowie knife out of the other. It seems they’ve done this before, huh?

Your eyes widened.

“Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna hurtcha’, I promise” his gloved hand came to your chin and lifted it slightly as he planted a kiss onto your lips. You only nodded and say there. Spy had disappeared, that was until he appeared behind you and tugged at the blindfold.

“What is your safe word, amour?”

You hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Uh.. panini” you said, unsure if any other word to use.

The men only chuckled “good choice” Sniper mocked as he kissed at your neck, Spy doing the same. The knife Sniper held was begging ran up and down your body, leaving small scratches as it tickled you. You shivered at the feeling, moaning under your breath. Sniper bit your ear “you like that, roo?” You nodded vigorously

“Good girl.” He said then continued to trace the knife up your body. Spy broke his kisses into sucking, leaving small hickeys on your neck and collarbone. Spy pulled away and grabbed a small pair of handcuffs. He handed them to you “would you like this?” You nodded

Spy smirked and began cuffing your hands tightly behind your back.

They both pulled away and laid you down gently, then stripped themselves of their clothing. “Would you like to go first, Mick?” Spy asked.

Sniper nodded “of course.” He said and sat between your legs. His hard cock lying gently against your clit. You wiggled your hips in an attempt to coax him into just fucking you already. He chuckled as he admired your soaked pussy.. then, took his cock into his hand and slid the tip up and down your folds slowly before sinking his tip into your hole. He leaned over you and sunk deeper a moan leaving you both as he easily bottomed out due to your slickness. He grabbed your legs and put them onto his shoulders, he took slow drags as Spy watched from the side. Stroking himself slowly in time with Snipers thrusts. He pulled all the way out and waited for a moment before slamming back into your cunt, his cock kissing your cervix. Your back arched at the feeling. His groans were low and heavy as he pounded into your pussy. “You feel good, Sheila. “ his grip on your hips became rougher and tighter as he chased his orgasm. Spy moved to your mouth, tapping your shoulder gently as his cock pressed against your cheek “May I?”

You nodded and moaned as Sniper fucked into you. You opened your mouth and let Spy slide his cock into your throat.

You gagged slightly as he began thrusting into your throat. The salty taste of his precum coating your tongue. The men chased their orgasm as they roughly fucked into your body. “God, roo. I’m gonna cum..” you moaned around Spy’s cock, sending a shiver down his spine as his groans left his throat freely “yes me too..” your head was reeling as the men used your body

“Can I cum in ya’, babe?” He cooed

You nodded the best you could around Spy’s cock. He pulled out and began pumping himself “Beg him for it, y/n.”

“Oh fuck! Please Mick! Please fill me with your cum! Oh, I want it so bad!!”

“Oh doll, of course, anything for you.”

Spy pumped himself more and more until his orgasm approached and he came onto your face, your mouth hung open to catch any of his cum on your tongue. Sniper growled as he thrusted deep inside of you and came into your abused cunt. Both of the men groaning as they looked at the scene they had made of you.

You all took a minute to catch your breath before Sniper spoke again

“Next time, don’t tease us please, babe.” He nuzzled into your shoulder as Spy rubbed your head gently sweeping you hair out of your face

Ps. Panini is a real safe word I used with my ex, he was such a lucky man.🥳

[downundergarfield]

hello! may i request a s/o that loves to give hugs and kiss to mercenaries? i think it would be cute!!(thank you in advance!)

Hiii, lovely anon! Here's what I came up with!

I've tried to follow a certain pattern. First, hugs in front of everyone, the second kisses in front of everyone and the third - kisses and hugs in private, hope you enjoy

S/O who loves to give hugs and kisses to mercs

Scout ⚾

- He's surprised every time you hug him, he giggles and hugs you back. He is a very loving boy!

- Jeremy blushes deeply every time you kiss him. He screams and hides his face in his cap if you do it in front of everyone. "-AAH, Stop, Y/N, im not cute!!"

- when you kiss him alone, he turns into melted cheese and spreads in pleasure while you caress his cheeks and lips. He loves kissing you. He misses it so much. You fill his need for love with your love and hugs and kisses

Soldier 🦅

- He always says that real soldiers don't need these endearments. But when you hug him in spite of this, he hugs you tighter than anything! The soldier is proud of you and will tell everyone that only he has the right to hug you. He loves it when you hug him patting his broad back.

- When you kiss this noisy American, he becomes even more noisy "- SHE/HE/THEY KISSED ME!!!! EVERYONE!!!! KISSED ME, ONLY MEEE HAHAHAAAA". He is so proud that you love to caress him that way

- in private, he loves your kisses and will kiss back, not letting go for a long time, because he really likes your lips. He will hug you like a pillow, putting his legs up at yours and all that

Pyro 🔥

- They love all that! So they will hug you back, tight, tight, maybe even tighter than you yourself, because they are absolutely happy to hug you

-You kiss them in a gas mask when they gently touch your cheeks with a filter, imitating a kiss. They are not shy about it in public, at all!

- Pyro is a big hugger, when you hang out alone, draw or play, they will hug you very often, and moo happily when you hug them back. They are not hungry for touch, they just really like it.

Demoman 💣

- he breaks into a satisfied smile every time you hug him. He adores your tactility and love of hugs.

- When he is sober, he will only blush a little and be embarrassed, smiling and looking away "-ooh, Laddy, come on, not in front of everyone..."

But when he is in his usual condition, as soon as you kiss him on the cheek, he will firmly grab and kiss you on the lips in response.

- of course he will hug you back in private. When you are alone, he turns into the most loving person in the world, you often lie in an embrace glued together like two dumplings while he showers your forehead with kisses.

Heavy 🐻

- it's hard not to hug him, isn't it? The big, stern Siberian loves it when you hug him. He often hugs you back, hugging you tightly with his big hands.

- he blushes when you kiss him in front of everyone. But he smiles and pats you on the head "-milaya, not at work...you make me blush"

- when you are alone, he likes to put you on his lap and read you different books, sometimes he translates books from Russian for you, kisses the top of your head and hugs you tightly.

Engineer 🔧

- this Texan doesn't mind hugging you back. He loves it when you hug him and will gladly hug you back. He is not embarrassed when you hug him in front of everyone, he is happy to show the others that you are happy to be together

- If you kiss him in front of everyone, he will blush and laugh good-naturedly, kissing you back. Even if it's at work, just be careful and choose the right moment.

- In private, he likes it when you hug him. He thinks it's cute when you take off his hardhat to kiss him on the forehead. He likes to cuddle with you on his mechanical chair

Medic 💉

- When you hug him in front of everyone, he becomes the happiest person in the world. He will willingly hug you back.

- if you kiss him, he will blush and will vigorously ask for more. He likes the shape, texture and taste of your lips. Especially on his own lips

- in private, he will be so happy with your hugs. He likes to walk with his bare hands on your back counting every rib and praising you for your lovely body every time.

Sniper 🏹

- Try to catch the moment when this guy will be in front of everyone. But if you hug him at some general meeting, he will blush and hide it under his hat. The sniper will not move until the end of the meeting, so as not to scare you away, so that you continue to hug him.

- if you kiss him at the meeting. Dude, you'll make him blush deeply and hide behind a hat until the very end

"- Y/n. Its a wrong time, drongo."

- damn it, private, he will beat you in the love of hugs. He literally won't let go of you. This man is a real professional in hugging. Be sure, sometimes, private, he will just pile on you about and without, hugging for hours. He loves to kiss you, he will kiss you even more than you. He's so happy that you love it all too.

"-This is what I needed, Roo..."

Spy 🍷

- you like to hug him in front of everyone because he reacts to it, so snobbish "-Y/N, stop. You will rumple my suit.." he will look away and push you away a little, trying not to offend. It's a pity that his ski mask hides his blush

- if you kiss him in front of everyone (of course, if you manage to catch the moment when he is without a cigarette in his mouth), he will cover his face with his hands. "-Oh, please, not in front of everyone, je t'en prie..."

- in private, he discards it all. Alone, he won't let go of your lips and will kiss and hug you for all the things you teased him with all day.

He smells of cigarettes and wine. What happens in his smoking room is not worth comparing with what happens in front of everyone

[leorawright]

TF2 mercs reaction to s/o going, "I can hold the whole world in my hands! *Softly cups lover's face*"

That's adorable

Mercs reaction to their s/o cupping their face

Scout

He acts all tough at first but when you top it all off by saying "see? I can hold the world in my hands"

You've done it. You've killed Scout

His face erupts in a blush and he turns his face to hide in your palms

HOW ARE YOU SO CUTE ITS UNFAIR

Soldier

He's super confused because how can you hold the world your hands are much to small???

You're gonna have to explain the meaning to him

Then when he realizes you're calling him your world he's blushing like mad

Now it's a daily thing where you two take turns cupping each other's faces

Demoman

No hesitation he melts into your hands

He's giggling and blushing from your words

For the rest of the day your words never leave his mind and his smile never leaves his face

It's now one of his favorite things when you cup his face

Pyro

They're internally dying of happiness as their hands go to yours in order to keep you cupping their face

How are you so cute it's adorable❤️❤️❤️

Under their mask their smile is so wide and you can practically feel the warmth of their blush

Heavy

First of all good luck with this hunk of a man

It's gonna take a but of convincing to get him to lean down

But he doesn't regret his decision

He's surprised by your actions and the phrase but he's never felt so loved before

Medic

He goes silent for a second with his eyes wide open

But then he'll giggle and go "Oh you" before absolutely melting into your affection

He wasn't expecting you to call him your world but he'd be lying if he said it didn't make his heart swell with love

Sniper

Ohhh blushy embarrassed boi

He's already blushy from the affection but you calling him your world effectively shuts down his brain function

He cannot process the love or his emense amount of happiness right now

Spy

He'll chuckle and call you "such a charmer"

But as soon as you walk away he's silently tearing up

He's never had anyone call him their world with such love in their voice

You best believe he's telling you how much he loves you for the rest of the day