#THE COOLEST MOST ADORABLE

[randomminty]

I heard its her birthday and had a sudden urge to draw kirararararararrara

[paperlovesadness]

Also is anybody else in love with the actual physical little bubble of relatability [gesture]?

[starstruckodysseys]

the kids in this fic are the funniest characters to write ever. technically this is a carshall fic but really it’s about the thirteen year olds if we’re being honest

[fecto-forgo]

thinking abt the isolated isles again i rly wish we had more on them

[banqanas]

hi my name is bananey and my favourite EXILE members are SHOKICHI and Tetsuya

[nicollekidman]

i’m not going to complain to much about moffat as i watch (and if i keep going who knows) bc i picked clara’s era specifically so i wouldn’t be so invested right off the bat again BUT it’s nearly impossible to deal with how self-obsessed his writing is while ignoring anything and everything rtd set up.... 

[arcann]

tbh i think the wol can be so loved bc they're so extraordinarily empty

[katewalker]

my sister: *sends me pics of nephew*

me: does he know i'd kill anyone who dares to hurt him?

[hrtley]

BEDTIMEEE

[starpros-sunshine]

NOT THE GLOBALIZATION ASSIGNMENT 💀 i just finished an essay on the pros and cons of globalization for a contemporary world class except i had to focus on writing the pros because my groupmate was writing about the cons and man i was fighting for my life

Head in hands I might have to write my Abitur about that I don't want to have to write five hours about politics I thought English class had you do more idk Literature or something "Oh but it's like German but in English" In German we are currently doing movie analysis I don't see how those two things are comparable.

But no genuinely I was sitting there an hour just staring at those two pages of text that were all just documenting the way globalisation under the hand of capitalism turns us all into miserable little creatures and nobody profits except the BIG firms and like. My teacher wants us to give quotes we are always supposed to give quotes I can not quote two pages worth of text. That was one of three parts of the assignment. The other two were to analyse how the author uses metaphors (????? We're there even any?????????? I'm supposed to give six examples I can't even remember one?????) And to comment on, explain and state my opinion on either "America first" or "Take back control" as slogans. This woman is just letting me write an exam at this point what even is this.

[fastandcarlos]

Life With The Verstappen Family : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: a glimpse into the life of the verstappen family and your two little ones who are always causing chaos

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liked by schecoperez, redbullracing and 2,593,069 others

maxverstappen1: turns out being dad is the coolest thing in the world 💕

139,583 comments

username1: not max as a dad also being the coolest dad in the world

username2: the handsome dad vibes are strong in these pictures 💪🏻

danielricciardo: congrats my friend!!

landonorris: can't believe you're actually dad...wow you're old 😂

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris you're not exactly a spring chicken anymore yourself

username3: is it okay to be this jealous of a small child??

ynusername: can't wait to spend the rest of my life being mum and dad with you 💞

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I'm definitely the lucky one between the two of us ☺️

username4: I can't believe we get to see dad max at the paddock next year

oscarpiastri: why is your tiny human so cute? clearly yn got all the good genes in there

redbullracing: welcome to the smallest member of our team, we can't wait to have you in the paddock soon!! 💙❤️

username5: the proud smile on his face actually melts my heart

username6: forever in love with max as a dad already 🤧

georgerussell63: who'd have thought you'd be the first to settle down, congrats you two!

charles_leclerc: dog dads are better than human dads btw 🤷🏻‍♂️

schecoperez: sending all my 'how to survive life as a dad' books your way my friend

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,472,293 others

ynusername: turns out max can’t ski and ydn is absolutely showing him up on the slopes ⛷️

138,291 comments

username7: omg look at how grown up yn is getting

maxverstappen1: imma just focus on the first photo and how much my little girl adores me...no idea what you're talking about with the skiing 🙄

username8: yn pls tell me you've got some videos of this lol

landonorris: he is the most uncoordinated man i've ever met and you chose to take him skiing 🤦🏻‍♂️

ynusername: @/landonorris it was ydn's choice, you know max can't say no to his little girl

carlossainz55: i'll have to show him how it's done one day

username9: not ydn falling asleep in max's lap, it looks so comfy there 🤩

username10: anyone else think that ydn looks more and more like max's twin everyday??

username11: how can one family be so cute? 🤔

alex_albon: lily told me you sent a video of max falling on his ass, please say I have permission to see it too?

ynusername: @/alex_albon it's all yours 😘

maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon @/ynusername hey i refuse to give permission for this!!!

lewishamilton: hope you guys are having the best time, tell ydn i've got the biggest cuddle waiting for her when i see her next

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liked by ynusername, alex_albon and 1,799,391 others

maxverstappen1: all my babies ❤️🥺

189,382 comments

username12: i dont think my ovaries can take much more of these updates

username13: i can't deal with how adorable these are!! 😭😭

ynusername: guessing i'm not your baby anymore 💔

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername you'll always be my baby 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

landonorris: i thought I was your baby too???

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris go away before i block you again 🙄

charles_leclerc: btw dogs are still better than cats

username14: not charles starting a war of pets in the comments sections

username15: praying i come back as a cat so i can be adopted by the verstappens too 🤞🏻

georgerussell63: can you stop taking sickeningly sweet photos of your daughter so that we stop missing her during the off season please

alex_albon: ydn's position reminds me of how lily looked when i got home last night fast asleep on the sofa

lilymhe: @/alex_albon btw the couch is yours tonight now 🖕🏻

username16: how can these cute photos cause a domestic lmao

username17: it's always max causing trouble even when he doesn't mean to

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liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 994,293 others

ynusername: forever a third wheel when it comes to these two 🫶🏻

48,193 comments

landonorris: now you know how i've felt for the past six years 🤷🏻‍♂️

username18: i'll come and save you yn!!

danielricciardo: you should be used to it...you third wheeled us for several seasons

username19: ydn is such a daddy's girl its unreal 🤩

maxverstappen1: stop making people feel sorry for you, you choose to hang back and take all these photos hahah

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 JUST LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT

username20: i can't cope with how unserious these two are as parents 😂😂

username21: i wonder if ydn realises how lucky she is getting to travel the world with max verstappen by her side

oscarpiastri: just so you know, lando laughed out loud when he read the caption to this

ynusername: @/oscarpiastri just so you know, he's the worst!

username22: yn must be desperate for another baby so its 2v2

username23: even as a third wheel I'd be happy just being that close to max

schecoperez: come and hang out in my driver room instead!! 💙

lilymhe: i'll save you bestie

ynusername: @/lilymhe knew i could rely on you 😘

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liked by alex_albon, sebastianvettel and 1,382,291 others

maxverstappen1: why does no one ever warn you that two kids are so much harder to control than one 😂

89,503 comments

username24: emilian you knew what you signed up for when you got yn pregnant

danielricciardo: now imagine being christian trying to take control over both of us hahah 😂😂

username25: max and one kid was cute but max and two kids...wow

schecoperez: you should've listened to me i did warn you

ynusername: all I can see is ydn getting dangerously close to that water you fool 🤦🏻‍♀️

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername i've got everything under control don't worry

username26: how can any man complain when you're kids are that cute

charles_leclerc: i keep reminding you that me and alex are happy to babysit whenever you want us

maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc alex I trust...you...well 🤫

username27: its the colour coordinating with ysn that does it for me

username28: is everyone going to ignore how grown up those two babies look these days

landonorris: i can come and join you and see what it's like to practice for baby number three if you want? 😂

username29: lando norris you menace

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liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 2,392,605 others

maxverstappen1: nothing better than when my two loves come and cheer me on, I promise you they are impressed by what daddy does, even if their faves suggest otherwise 🥺

194,382 comments

username30: cannot wait for my social media to be filled with verstappen baby content this weekend

ynusername: no way we're missing a home race, good luck for this weekend my love 💕💕

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername thank you for bringing them to support me, you're the best

username31: max looks so happy to have them there omg

username32: i wish someone looked as happy as max does to have me around them ❤️

carlossainz55: if they don't appear in ferrari at some point this weekend i'm never speaking to you again

alex_albon: and the williams garage!!!

pierregasly: alpine are expecting a visit too!

danielricciardo: and rb, it would be rude not to after all 🤷🏻‍♂️

username33: ydn and ysn are the most popular people in the paddock this weekend hahah

username34: i can't cope with how obsessed everyone is over these two

lewishamilton: i can't believe how big they are, where does the time even go?

georgerussell63: @/lewishamilton you mean to say you've already seen them and I wasn't there to join you 🫢

username35: poor yn won't get a second to breathe racing around all these garages

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liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,492,503 others

ynusername: introducing the team to their favourite drivers, and charles 😂

79,305 comments

username36: ah we got the photos to prove they visited guys

charles_leclerc: you best be kidding or i'm never babysitting for you ever again 😡

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc jokes we love you really

danielricciardo: it was lovely to see team verstappen again after so long 💞💞

landonorris: btw ysn said that i was his favourite so snooze you lose max!!

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris if you want to believe my son prefers you to me you think that my friend

username37: look at how soft they all become when they're around verstappen babies ☺️🥺

username38: i just want someone to look at me like charles looks at ysn

georgerussell63: still waiting for my turn excuse me

carmenmmundt: pls come and visit before george actually explodes 🥺

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt i promise we're on our way!!

username39: do people even go to f1 for racing anymore or just to see ysn and ydn??

username40: i saw the four of them at the gates this morning and I swear i've never seen anything cuter...

carlossainz55: there better be another post filled with photos of me and ydn coming up

oscarpiastri: lando has not shut up about the fact he saw you guys...now look what i've got to put up with 😂

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liked by ynusername, schecoperez and 2,583,604 others

maxverstappen1: a tribute to the woman that holds our team together, I couldn’t do this without you yn, the best mum and wife in the world ❤️❤️

105,583 comments

username41: how yn puts up with two kids and max i will never know

ynusername: it's the easiest job in the world being by your side with our two little treasures 🏎️🥺

landonorris: yn deserves a medal having to deal with you day in day out

georgerussell63: i've lost count of how many times i've seen yn running around the paddock for you, ysn or ydn

username42: i swear yn is just the best mum ever ❤️

username43: i want to be adopted by yn and yn only

carlossainz55: not forgetting the fact she now is in charge of your two cats too

charles_leclerc: at this point she's pretty much mum to us drivers too with how well she keeps us all in check 😂

username44: i thought it was just fans obsessed with the verstappens, turns out its the drivers too

username45: i expected nothing less from this group of boys who are absolutely whipped for yn

username46: its official, the verstappens are just the best 🫶🏻💕☺️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[goldsainz]

❝ A PASTRY FOR PIASTRI ❞

SERIES MASTERLIST!

MASTERLIST!

pairing . . .

◦∘｡ﾟ. summary . . . baking is your love language.

◦∘｡ﾟ. note . . . doesn’t chris britney kinda of look like oscar… or am i crazy??? if you squint a little i swear he looks kinda of alike… i know that this is very very short but if i don’t make this short i’ll never end up finishing the series ☹️

liked by landonorris, mclaren and 381,925 others

oscarpiastri The lovely baker and her lovely pastries

view all 5,728 comments

yourusername a pastry for oscar pastry!

⤷ oscarpiastri I’ll let this pass because the pastries were amazing

⤷ landonorris The nickname is canon now 🤯

oscarfan1 oh to have y/n bake me stuff

ynfan1 THESE ARE MY BABIESSSS

ynfan2 love them sm

oscarfan2 can’t believe oscar is okay with the pastry joke

ynfan3 y/n looks soooo good😩

ynfan4 ok but can we all agree that y/n is the coolest wag

⤷ oscarfan3 she’s on another level

oscarfan4 i want a pastry now :(

liked by sabrinacarpenter, isahernaez and 409,368 others

yourusername happy valentine’s day to my favourite pastry ft some other pastries

view all 6,140 comments

oscarpiastri 👩🏻‍🍳❤️

⤷ yourusername 🥐❤️

oscarfan21 those strawberries are a need

oscarfan22 oscar is looking delicious on the last pic

ynfan21 best couple fr

oscarfan23 nobody is doing it like them

⤷ oscarfan24 most unproblematic couple on the grid

ynfan22 Y/N PLS BAKE ME SMTH

ynfan23 the first pic is adorable🥹

yourusername updated their instagram stories!

-ˋˏ *.· taglist . . . @lorarri @lpab @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @saintiastri @saintslewis @leoramage @toomuchdelusion @anthonykatebridgerton @enhacolor @gulabjamoon @toomuchdelusion @louvrepool @ravisinghs-wife @brorarri @hobiismyhopeu @starlightpierre @lecsainz @kkeelss @namgification @minkyungseokie @gothgirlez @f1version @onecojg @minkyungseokie @blue1amory @marshmummy

[traveler-at-heart]

Babysitter Club

Summary: Natasha is taking care of the Barton children and has unexpect help.

Natasha Romanoff x Super Soldier F!R

--

Being an aunt was fun. Natasha got the cool moments and could spoil Clint’s kids. They adored her.

But, being on babysitting duty after a grueling mission was definitely not fun.

Natasha had barely managed to get out of bed when Cooper and Lila came out of nowhere, straight to her.

“Children, no running” Clint said, chasing after them, Nathaniel in his arms.

“Auntie Nat, can we go to the zoo?”

“No, to the movies. Or bowling!” Cooper suggested, both children fighting to get Natasha’s attention.

“I…” she blinked several times, trying to wake up. Did she say she’d take care of them?

What day was it anyway?

“Ok, you two go and sit over there” Clint asked, pointing at the couch. He approached Natasha, and the baby smiled when he saw her.

“Hey, little one” she greeted, taking him in her arms. “Boy, you’re growing too fast”

“Are you sure you can take care of them? You look like you could use some sleep” Clint said.

“Yeah, no. It’s fine” Natasha nodded, swaying gently to appease Nathaniel. Though the movement was making her sleepy as well. “Go”

“I’ll be back later today” he promised, saying goodbye to his children.

As soon as he left, Cooper and Lila turned to Natasha, expectantly. It took her a minute to understand.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Pancakes!”

“Ok, coming right up”

It was hard to balance a toddler in her arms while she found all the ingredients for the food, so it took her a good five minutes to have everything ready. Cooper and Lila were clearly getting restless, making Nathaniel upset too.

“Hey”

Natasha turned around. You were looking between her and the two kids.

“Y/N, hey. These are Clint’s children. Sorry about the noise, we’ll keep quiet, right?” she rushed to say, figuring you came to the kitchen to complain about the disturbance.

“Need a hand?” you offered instead, surprising her. 

Truth be told, even after a few months with the team, they knew very little about you, other than you were a super soldier and had worked as a double agent reporting for Fury for most of your career.

“Sure” she said and you took Nathaniel, balancing him expertly while you got the pancake mix ready with your other hand. He took a liking to you instantly and you chatted with him, talking about what you were doing while preparing the food.

Natasha looked at you, amazed. You, the person who would only nod to confirm instructions and stayed in your room for most of the time, looked soft and welcoming and charming with a baby in your arms.

Oh, no.

Natasha liked it.

Liked you.

“We have a problem” you turned to her and she snapped out of it.

“Huh?”

“Diaper emergency. Can you…?”

“Yeah, sure” she nodded, taking the baby to the living room. Lila took the opportunity to get closer to you.

“How you doing? Lila, right?”

“Yeah. What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/N” you said, flipping the pancake expertly.

“Wow! That was so cool, can you teach me?”

“Sure. You’ll do the next one, how about that?”

By the time Natasha finished changing Nathaniel, Lila and Cooper were standing next to you, and taking turns flipping the pancakes while you cheered them on. Once breakfast was ready, Lila took your hand and led you to the table.

“Do you work with Dad?”

“Mhm” you nodded.

“And what’s your power?” Cooper said, excited at the idea of watching something new.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, kiddo. I’m a little bit stronger than most people”

“Can you carry us both in your back?”

You grimaced, pretending to think about it.

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see about that later. Wanna go to the lake? We can feed the ducks, throw some stones”

“Can we, aunt Nat?” Lila turned to her, excited at the idea of feeding ducks.

“Well, auntie Nat could stay and take care of Nathaniel for his nap” you offered, noticing the woman was struggling to stay up. “We’ll bring her the coolest rock we can find so she’s not sad for missing our little trip”

The kids cheered on, eating the rest of their breakfast in record time. Natasha approached you while you picked up the plates.

“You sure about this? I really appreciate it but you don’t have to…”

“It’s fine. I know yesterday’s mission was exhausting” you said, placing your hand on Natasha’s back to reassure her. She was standing between you and the kitchen counter, enjoying the proximity a little too much. “Take a nap with Nathaniel and I’ll take care of Lila and Cooper. How about that?”

“I owe you one” she smiled, taking Nathaniel back to her room.

A few hours later, she woke up to a message on her phone. The kids were enjoying the day out, so you came back to prepare some sandwiches and were now eating by the lake. You had also left some extra food for her in case she got hungry.

Natasha’s heart fluttered at your thoughtfulness and hurried to meet you and enjoy the rest of the day.

“There’s aunt Nat” you greeted as she approached you, smiling. Lila was sitting on your shoulders while Cooper threw rocks at the lake.

“Check it out, Y/N taught me how to skip stones!”

Natasha stood by the lake, while Cooper showed her. You walked to stand next to the redhead.

“Forest fairy, do you have it ready?” you reached for something. Lila gave you a small bouquet of wildflowers that you both had gathered on your walk and handed it over to Natasha.

“Thank you” she said, hoping you wouldn’t notice her cheeks turning pink.

“Yeah, uh… pretty girls deserve pretty flowers”

You set Lila down, and she ran to play with her brother. Nathaniel reached torwards you, and you took him in your arms, raising him way too high to pretend he was flying.

“What an interesting talent you have hidden, Y/N” Natasha commented with a smile and for the first time since you’d known her, you laughed.

“Oh, there are plenty more that you have yet to know, Miss Romanoff” you teased.

Once the heat got a bit too intense, you decided to come back to the Compound. It was Cooper’s turn to sit on your shoulders as you walked, playing a game of I spy.

“Oh, am I interrupting?” Maria said, looking at you curiously. All she knew were the few things Fury had shared, but Hill definitely didn’t think good with kids was among them.

“What’s up?” Natasha asked as you balanced Lila and Cooper, one in each arm.

“I need to go over some mission stuff with you. It won’t take long” Maria promised. You nodded, already leading the kids back to the living room. Natasha followed you with her eyes as you let the kids run around, while putting Nathaniel in the crib the team kept around for him. “Huh”

“What?” Natasha snapped back.

“Nothing. I didn’t think you’d be one to fall for girls that are good with kids”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hill”

“Uh-hu. Come on, don’t want to take away from your family time”

Natasha rolled her eyes, and took one last look at you.

You were handing Lila and Cooper Nerf guns, whispering to each other.

“Don’t get in trouble” she warned.

“Mmkay” you gave her a thumbs up, and waited until she left to kneel and speak to both kids. “Ok, so we’re gonna hide behind the couch, and whoever hits more people that come here will decide what movie we watch, got it?”

Both kids nodded and you gave them a high five.

It didn’t take long for the first victim to show up. Sam came in, whistling a tune. You nudged Cooper and he looked over the couch. His shot hit the shelf above Sam’s face.

“My turn now” you said, aiming for his arm. Sensing something, he moved at the last second, turning quickly.

“Hello?” he said. “Who’s there?”

Moving your head, you encourage Lila to go next. She waited for Sam to approach the couch, and then jumped forward, hitting him between the eyes.

“Boom!” you clapped, lifting Lila in the air. “Someone has her father’s aim”

“That’s not fair” Sam complained. “I wasn’t ready”

“A spy is always ready” Cooper pointed out and Lila and you nodded in agreement.

“I’m a pilot, not a spy”

“Don’t be a sore loser. If you get Bucky to come here and get shot we’ll share some pizza with you” you offered.

“Fine” he glared, going back to his room. Minutes later, you heard footsteps.

Oh, damn, it was Banner.

“Ok, maybe sit this one out, kids” you said, leaning against the couch. It would be a nightmare to have him turn green in the middle of the kitchen.

Later, Bucky was targeted as planned and even Wanda got to play with the kids. She helped with Nathaniel as you stood up to get the pizza.

By the time Natasha was back, you were setting a fort of blankets and pillows.

“We were waiting for you to start the movie” Lila said, rushing to her side and taking her hand. “Sit next to me”

“Hey, everything good?” you said, leaning casually against the couch. Natasha nodded and you gave her a plate. “Here, we got your favorite pizza. Lila picked The Incredibles, as if we don’t have enough superheros in our lives”

“Do you have someone like Edna Mode make your suits?” she asked excitedly.

“No one as cool as her. But at least we don’t wear capes” you said. Natasha laughed at your extensive knowledge of children movies and you blushed, trying to hide your own smile.

Natasha stole glances here and there, and finally decided to lean forward as the movie continued.

“I’m sorry about leaving you with them for so long”

“I had the best time. Whenever you need help, let me know”

“It was nice seeing you happy. I was beginning to think you didn’t like being here”

“It’s not that” you shook your head, taking a breath. “I have done a lot of things I’m not proud of and seen many things I wish I hadn’t… I guess I feel like the Avengers are about hope, and I can’t see myself in that equation”

“The Avengers are also about second chances, and doing good. Trust me, if there’s anyone that understands, it’s me” she said, waiting until you looked at her. You smiled, relaxing against the couch.

The kids wanted to see Despicable Me next. Again, you commented there were enough real life villains but you enjoyed the movie, sitting on the floor with them, repeating some of the lines.

By the time Natasha came back with more popcorn, the three of you were fast asleep. Her heart fluttered at the image and she was almost tempted to take a picture. Instead, she turned off the tv and let you sleep. She sat on the couch, scrolling through her phone.

“Sorry I’m late” Clint walked in, and Natasha turned, shushing him with a murderous glare. “Is that Y/N?”

“Yeah, she’s great with kids”

“Oh, someone’s smitten. I knew you had a thing for her since she threw that mobster out a window”

Natasha rolled her eyes, moving to wake up the kids. You were yawning as they gathered their things, and waved goodbye as Clint took them out.

“Daddy, can we go with Aunt Nat and Y/N to the zoo next week?” Lila asked.

“Yeah, let’s see, kiddo” he chuckled.

The girl handed over a drawing to Natasha, like she always did when they spent the day together.

It had you in it, carrying her baby brother. Natasha was looking at you and smiling, pink circles on her cheeks.

Well, apparently even Lila could see Natasha liked you.

“Thanks for all your help today” Natasha said, walking with you. You stopped outside her room.

“Thank you for what you said to me… it’s nice to know I can do better now” you smiled, and walked to your room.

Today you had felt less alone, and for that you could thank Natasha.

“We could…” she spoke, reaching for you. You turned back, squeezing her hand to encourage her to talk. “Go out next week?”

“With the kids or…?”

“Just you and me” Natasha said, suddenly shy. “Only if you want to of course…”

“I’d love that” you were quick to agree.

Natasha smiled, standing on the tip of her toes to kiss your cheek.

“Night, Y/N”

“Night, Nat”

[seraphicsentences]

hii mamas, probably stupid since youve been writing less, but js incase can i req ellie swiping through an album of videos and photos of reader, but then her mood is instantly changed when she swipes to a sx recording thta she completely forgot about? miss youu 😔😔

i’m sorry baby ik i suck ive been reaaall busy lately so i haven’t had much time for writing but! here’s a short one. working through requests slowly but surely. enjoy!

thinking about loser!ellie turning pussy drunk for you, or rather, the thought of you, in seconds. bc when am i not thinking about loser!ellie?

loser!ellie, naturally, never leaves the house. why would she— when she has her savage starlight comics stacked up on her shelf, her xbox hooked up, locked and loaded with a never ending amount of games, and most importantly, you, to come over whenever she pleases.

except for now, unfortunately. you had gone out to see an old friend who was visiting in town, and ellie, trying her very best to be a respectful girlfriend, decided to stay in (against her wishes).

as the pathetic, attached, and adorable loser she was, she had resorted to scrolling through her compiled camera album of you, which you self- titled “the prettiest, coolest, smartest, awesomest girl ever. aka your wife.”

she laughed under her breath, shaking her head fondly at the statement as she continued to swipe through countless candids, selfies, and clips of you. her girl.

she couldn’t help but smile sweetly into the crook of her elbow, head falling sideways into her mussed bed as she relived her favorite moments with you, which was really actually every moment she spent with you.

after skimming through an 8 minute long video of the two of you trying, and failing, to kill a small bug on her bedroom wall, it’s safe to say ellie’s heart was warm, and filled to the brim.

the next video’s thumbnail doesn’t immediately draw up any memories of hers, a blurry view of what seems to be her wall of space posters, so she assumes it to be an accidental recording.

but it’s— 18 minutes long??

curiosity winning her over, ellie clicks on the video, a loading symbol popping up on the screen briefly before sounds of heavy breathing overtake the room.

bedsheets rustle in the background, as ellie watches what appears to be her own hand scrambling at the phone’s lens, propping it up on her bedside table.

the view is what can only be described as filthy. your back arching off the mattress, legs tied to opposite posts on the bed as you writhe, gasping for air as ellie holds a vibrator lush against your clit.

“ah! ellie!” you’re crying out, ankles twisting and pulling at the grasps their in.

present-day ellie’s face glows a deep red, her breathing already picking up as she watches the screen, entranced. her legs come together, squeezing, as she begins to rock her hips down into the bed ever-so-subtly, clit grazing the seam of her pants in reach for the smallest sparks of stimulation.

she had completely forgotten about this video, the post-sex exhaustion wiping it from her memory, but it served as quite the pleasant surprise for her pathetic loser!self now. she flips over onto her back.

heart pumping, she roams her fingers across her navel, dipping under her boxers as she stares at her past self humping greedily on one of your thighs, head thrown back. your hands were gripped on the meat of her hips, pushing her down harder against yourself as she continued to shakily rub the toy over you.

her soft whimpers intermingled with your pleading moans to form an addicting symphony— ellie biting down on her lip as the tip her finger brushes over her pulsing clit.

“ellie, please, need your fingers,” you whine in the current scene.

“you got ‘em,” she hears herself husk out.

ellie groans, her finger twitching down involuntarily to press harder into her needy, puffy clit.

“fuck,” she swears under her breath, head falling back into a pillow as she fucks her hips up harder against her hand. her jaw drops open, head spinning as she pleads for your touch. simply yearning like the fucking loser she is, whimpering your name over and over again as she pants out heavily.

video-ellie has now ditched the vibrator, fucking her fingers messily into your weeping pussy as you raise a hand up to cup her heat.

“gonna let me stuff you up, els?” you ask, half-lidded with a surprisingly cocky smirk for the amount you’re dripping down your thighs.

“please,” ellie cries now, in sync with her recorded whines as she replicates your motions, a halfhearted attempt to relive the eye-rolling experience.

you, or she finally slides two fingers in, curling them impatiently to rub over that one spot that has her whispering, “please mommy.”

the phone falls onto the mattress, filthy sounds still playing in the background as ellie clutches the bedsheets instead, twisting them for dear life. her fingers thrust more rapidly now, sounds of her slick filling the air as she spreads her legs eagle-wide to reach even deeper.

how pathetic she is. this wet from just a video recording? this desperate for your touch? she’s nearing her finish already, beating past-her, which from the sound of it, seems to be getting edged.

her fingers jam harder into her g-spot, little uh-uh-uh’s slipping out from between her lips with the movement. ellie’s other hand scrambles for her thrown phone, dazedly clicking your contact and thumb searching for the audio recording option.

she can’t hold it anymore, legs kicking and squirming as she tries to get her words out.

“m-iss y-you real, real- fuck- bad. mmph please- need you ho-home n-ow, babe, g-gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna cum,” she rambles, her voice getting higher as she gets more lost in the sensations.

her back flies off the bed, hips bucking animalistically as she chants your name loudly, fingers still moving at lightning speed.

“miss you,” she whines quietly now, catching her breath and pouting as she slides her fingers out of her raw pussy, before hitting send with her not cum-coated hand.

yes this was short asf. n what about it? i banged it out in a zoooooom. ;)

[severus-snaps]

can you imagine if severus had lived and went on teaching at hogwarts? everyone would think he was the COOLEST TEACHER EVER.

helped save the wizarding world by defying voldemort. dark and mysterious past so any number of rumours could arise. known tendency to do good deeds and not tell anyone, providing scope for the evillest rumours to have some 'greater/secretly good' twist aspect. supposedly brutal death, survived. got the scars to prove it broody, distant personality and will never discuss anything but the work with students, no matter how much they ask.

this is fertile ground for school rumours, the most fertile you've ever seen. when i was in school there was a physics teacher who (rumour had it) used to be a guard at a diamond mine in south africa, and he supposedly had a bullet wound scar - and ignoring the ethics of that for a moment - the girls adored him and thought he was the hottest teacher ever, the guys thought he was so cool, and not a one of us gave a shit about physics

the snape rumours change every day. there's five variations on each one. there's snape lore in the school that you have to brush up on as a first-year. the kids are DESPERATE to get a scathing snape burn in class. when he's cruel and demeaning, the kids' faces LIGHT UP and he's furious that that doesn't work any more so most of the time he gives the class the silent treatment

harry's shouted out everywhere that Sev did it all for Lily, and so the girls and single mums (and some not single mums) think he's the god of romance. suddenly sev finds himself the new Lockhart, and he LOATHES IT

he receives firewhiskey and care packages from thankful parents for the first few years, so much that he has to start re-gifting them in the staffroom, and he even gains a little bit of weight from all the chocolate cauldrons. he stops attending breakfast for the first few weeks, because all the owls with letters of thanks were disruptive

he asks one time in class if anyone had any questions about the cure for boils and EVERY hand goes up. he pauses, surveying the class. "are there any questions about the potion" he says, and every hand goes down - but one.

"did you ever use this potion defeat Voldemort"

he considers resigning in that moment, but at least hogwarts keeps him away from his #1 enemy - media attention. kids are easier to keep in line than journalists. unfortunately the other teachers think all of this is hilarious, and give him a daily run-down of their favourites in the staffroom

eventually Sev starts putting out his own far-fetched rumours via staged, easily overheard conversations near students with minerva - just to be a little shit about it. [edit to add: @redabeline wrote a fic!!]

[jackiepackiee]

I have a request! Can we have atsushi, dazai, ranpo, chuuya (+yasano, if desired you can cut out some characters) with a fem!ballerina s/o

ex: does big roles, (giselle, black swan, clara) and their opinions about her profession. ty!

𝐵𝒮𝒟 𝓍 𝐵𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒶! 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲/ 𝒜𝓉𝓈𝓊𝓈𝒽𝒾, 𝒟𝒶𝓏𝒶𝒾, 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓅𝑜, 𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒴𝑜𝓈𝒶𝓃𝑜

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝒩𝒶𝓊𝓇

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

Atsushi Nakajima

Whipped

You’re dating for a bit, and he’s seen your practice

But when you invite him to the stage door for a quick good luck kiss before his first show, he’s in AWE

Your costume?! He almost dies

You’re perfect!

(His fav is Sleeping beauty when you’re Aurora)

So when he finally sees you on stage, music and lights and dance

He almost passes out

If it wasn’t for the fact he had to watch you, he would’ve gotten some air

He’s just so in love

He loves to come to rehearsal

So well behaved, completely silent

Just watching you the entire time, in amazement

He doesn’t have money to offer for costumes or lessons, but he will be the biggest supporter in your life

He is however confused by everything

He isn’t very artisticlly intellectual…

And when you first break in your shoes, he screams

He thought you were wasting money and destroying them… if only he knew

He’ll give you massaged each night after shows, especially if you also had a matinee

Dazai Osamu

He is no longer as serious, but he will become the most reserved and mature gentleman you know when he sees your shows

People will think he’s a regular at these events, and everything will look at him with awe

And his attention will only be on you

Obviously he’s going to look at the other performers, but his eyes are glued on you

Secretly bored when you’re not on stage

He’ll see you, but after that he is childish again

Picking you up into his arms, probably coughing from the smell of hairspray in your hair

“Gosh, I can’t breathe! Your hair is perfect, but this is too much.”

And if the ADA happens to be there too? Don’t be surprised

He is always talking about you when work is boring

Atsushi thinks it’s the coolest, and is looking at your like you’re a goddess

(He’s like your son, and he looks up to you. Dazai loves that)

Back to ballet, he will kiss your cheek

But nothing else, he hates to ruin your makeup

And when you come home after?

He holds you all night after a show

He’s a master at anatomy and will massage you your body in every place needed

Before show texts “break a leg, but not actually! Cant wait!”

Overall? A fan, but more of a lover

Ranpo Edogawa

Most people think Ranpo has no attention span, and they’re mostly right…

But! He is fully able to focus on your performance

Loves your darker roles

But that’s mostly because he thinks that darker characters have more depth

This man is a thinker, and while he loves your dancing he prefers the story

And adores the way you are able to tell a story or send a message by your body movement

He loves more feminine roles too, but he appreciates your beauty more than he can focus

That’s the only reason he can stand the shows

Because he can obviously tell the entire story before the first dance sequence is over

You shine on that stage, and he’s infatuated

His eyes are OPEN

After your show, he’ll smile like a little kid

That maturity he had at the show? Gone, he’s himself again

Loves the shows about mysteries

This guy will ask Poe to write a show, and have him hire a choreographer to make a new shoe just for you to star in and for him to enjoy the story

His childish behavior is love, and intense affection because he’s so happy with how well you did

He praises you, so take it

He doesn’t do that for anyone else

Chuuya Nakahara

Classier than ever

Goes to each show with a box seat, sitting alone or with Koyo

Everyone thinks “oh, that guy is so mysterious”

Thinks you’re literally a light in his life

A bright beauty in his dark world

And when you walk onto that stage, he is focused on you like a hawk

Not scary, but such attention to detail that his stare is unbreaking

Not looking at a single other performer, unlessss they are your friend and you tell him about them when you’re rambling about your rehearsals

He’ll give them a glance, but only because he wants to be ready for every single topic of conversation you may wish to have

And when you’re done? He tells you to come out to see him in your costume, even if your director doesn’t allow that

He’s Chuuya Nakahara, he gets what he wants from anyone

He wants to give you a kiss when you look like a doll, dressed up perfectly

He hugs you, and tells you every time

“You were incredible. Go get more comfortable darling, I’ll wait outside the backstage. We will talk in the car. Maybe a little treat is waiting?”

The treat is always exactly what you want

Necklaces? Dress? Tickets to something? It’s there, at the moment you would love it most

Always helps you wash your hair when you get home

Running warm water in his fancy shower, hands making quick work on your hair and all the products that held it together

Will buy one of those high tech foot massagers for when you’re done

He hates how you’re in pain

And will do anything to make you feel better

Because you’re perfect, and he loves you

Yosano Akiko

Brags to each and EVERY member of the agency

Makes all of them attended at least one show

(Her favorite is black swan, you’re just sexy in that one 🤷🏻‍♀️)

If you could see her from on stage while you’re preforming (obviously you can’t) you’d see her paying more attention to you than she has to anything in her entire life

You’re the dainty and sweet girlfriend, and she’s your badass man-killer woman

She is incredible at anatomy, and gives you the best tips on warming up

Best ways to strengthen and grow your muscles without getting larger

Ugh, she’ll put her hands on your waist while teaching you how to twist and turn to stretch a certain way

You know how she loves shopping?

She will make at least one date a month a shopping date

Making sure to buy the most high tech and recommend leotards for practice

New shoes that need breaking in?

She owns at least 14 hammers

Nails? Gone. Foot board? Snapped into shape.

Thinks you’re PERFECT but is the best shot talker of the others?

The girl who thinks she deserved the lead, but didn’t get it so she hates on you?

Yeah, a glass of wine and Akiko will tear that girl to shreds with insults

But she’s supportive!!

Pretty girlfriend x sexy girlfriend life