#THE PART THAT SUCKED THE WORST OF ALL. were the two weeks pre-op that I couldn't have ibuprofen or caffeine.

[sergle]

thank you so much for posting abt your experience with getting reduction, because it’s made it a lot less scary of a concept to me. i have a lot of paid and discomfort caused by my chest but surgery of any kind is terrifying to me- seeing your joy and honesty about your reduction gives me a lot of hope for my own future. thank you for sharing :)

I'm glad it's relieving some of your anxiety about it!!! tbh I was shot back in time knowing what I know now, I'd go into surgery again feeling a lot more confident. If I knew that the healing would be so manageable, I coulda saved myself a lot of stress LMAO

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me. 

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod. 

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll  drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands). 

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.) 

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you). 

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems: 

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree. 

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg. 

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work. 

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s).  I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes. 

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after. 

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments: 

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it. 

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

[fumblebeefae]

(top surgery anon) more so what it's like! tips on what to do/not do and such?

Okay so I’ll start with a disclaimer that this is just my personal experience and top surgery in Australia is different from other places obviously. So don’t take this as a guide to top surgery. It’s just my personal experience and my experience with my surgeon. 

I’m also going to throw this under a readmore cause I’m going to add some photos of my chest (so tw for scars and my bare chest) and this post is long.

My personal top surgery experience 

The Waiting-List Period

Okay so I had to wait over 2 years for the surgery because I’d never be able to afford paying for the surgery privately so I went through the public system so I didn’t have to pay for the surgery or hospital stuff with the downside being the insane wait period (which has only gotten worst now). So I waited about a year to even have my first face-to-face consultation and then waited about another year until I got told that I’ll be having my surgery sort of out of no where with little warning.

So I had a few weeks to prepare which involved stocking my freezer with lots of pre-made meals (which is a must! Especially soups since they’re not to heavy on your stomach), buying lots of towels (since you should only use the towel once then rewash it in bleach after each use), and a ton of pillows, a chair and loaf on a stick for the shower.   

The Waiting Pre-surgery

So I packed an overnight bag which was just comfy clothes to leave the hospital in (button-up or zip shirt is a must because you can’t lift your arms up much) and had three of my friends come with me to the hospital. Which was pretty much waiting a whole bunch until they called me into the day surgery part where you’re only allowed one person at a time in with you. That’s where you put the gown on and a bunch of doctors and the anaesthetist see you to chat. (I was asked literally 50 times to repeat my name and the surgery I was having). 

The surgery

I then had to say goodbye to my friends and they wheeled me off in bed to this tiny waiting room (which I waited in by myself for an hour because the surgery before me was taking longer then they had prepared for). That’s when I had a bunch more doctors come in to see me, a surgeon come in to draw on my chest, and then the anaesthetist to put the needle in my hand (which fucking sucked). 

By far the scariest part was they made me get out of the bed and walk over to the surgery room and get me to lay down of the table. It’s a very thin table with separate arm rests and there’s tools and massive lights everywhere and doctors just casually in the room. By that point they gave me anti-anxiety meds and I passed out from those before they put the mask on me lol. They also put you on a ventilator while you’re under and they have to wake you up to take it out. I don’t remember that part but I had mouth ulsters from it. 

After Surgery

I remember waking up in the post-surgery room where there where other people in beds next to mine and doctors / nurses around me but I kept drifting in and out and I felt really sick. 

Next time I came around I was a little sick but otherwise surprising fine. I had to pee a ton cause they put alot of fluid in your via the IV and the drains suck. They also had to wake us up every 2 hours to do blood pressure and stuff. 

The first time I got up to use the actual bathroom and not a bed pan (you have to carry the drains with you which is gross af) I felt super sick but after that by the next day I was ready to leave. They cut all the bandages off let me have a look then I had to put my pre-op binder on. 

One of the worst parts was getting the drains taken out. They sort of just pull them out like starting a lawn mower and you can sort of feel it (though it’s not painful). After that I was allowed to go home. So I just spent the one night in the hospital.  

After-surgery photo.

The recovery period

I was surprising alright and could walk and sit up, and had a shower straight away once I got home because I was covered in like betadine. 

You had to wear the pre-op binder all the time (expect for showering) and I hated actually taking it off because the pressure of it just felt good. Your chest feels sort of tight and sore so not having the binder on sucks.

I spent alot of the next week lying in bed and having my roommates take care of me, which was mostly reheating food for me. I think a must for surgery is getting a small firm pillow you can hold against your chest, idk it just made getting up and everything easier on my chest. 

It’s really hard sleeping on your side and I hated sleeping on my back so arranging pillow so you’re sort of on your side helps a ton. 

About a week after surgery

I had to keep the tape and nipple coverings on for the next two weeks before seeing my GP to have her take them off and redress it all. I then had my first post-op after about three weeks and could stop wearing the binder. Then after my second post-op got told I could stop taping the scars. 

The Present and So On 

So now It’s been about 6 weeks and I’m all nice and healed, and adjusted super quickly to just not having to bind and getting to just wear shirts (though it’s super weird at first). Now It’s just putting cream (I use BioOil) on the scars. 

Here’s what my chest looks like now.

Overall my experience was really great and I had next to no pain, minus nausea and a bit of discomfort. Like getting a tattoo hurt more than surgery for me.

But the guy in the same room as me (who also had top surgery) ended up having to go back in for surgery two more times because he ended up having a hematoma and he had alot of pain. So it really does depend on your body and just luck.

TIPS

get a haircut right before surgery (I did not do this and my beard and hair were uncomfortably wild before I had the energy to get my hair cut)

Do what your surgery tells you to do and voice any questions / concerns you have. 

make a ton of pre-made food you can store in the freezer

have someone stay at home with you at least the first few days after surgery. You might need someone to help you get up to go to the bathroom, cook meals, shower ect.

don’t lift anything heavy - ask for help and don’t push yourself

get a ton of pillows and a firm out you can hug to your chest

buy lots of button or zip-up shirts

get laxatives (just in case you get constipated)

take at least a month off work / studying / whatever

Hope this ramble about my surgery helps somewhat. 

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

All for the video game ask. (do I need to mention only if u r comfy w/ it at this point). Love you!!

alright u done done it now bitchhhhhhhh are u READY 4 THIS SHIT (dshfa;lkj thamk i am so pumped ur my biggest enabler) i already answered a couple of these for anon but i’ll go ahead and answer them here as well

1. First game you played obsessively?hmmmm i wanna say the legend of spyro the eternal night? i played it so much i could beat the whole game in four hours. i’ve heard lots of ppl actually hated the legend of spyro trilogy but honestly they can suck my ass i loved them

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.uh besides my answer for anon of skyrim not many games have actually just straight up influenced my art style but i’ve been playing this game called Fe (not fire emblem just Fe) and i really want to draw fanart for it bc it’s super cute if that Counts as influence?

3. Who did you play with as a kid?if this is meant in terms of co-op games nobody bc we didn’t have anyif just in general, my sister for the most part. i’d watch her play things like resident evil and she’d help me with the hard parts in medievil and crash bandicoot warped (read: racing levels)

4. Who do you play with now?myself lmao i don’t rly like co-op and multiplayer games and i prefer to play most games by myself

5. Ever use cheat codes?like i told anon, no bc i don’t know how they work and i’d probably only use them for the sims anyways

6. Ever buy strategy guides?not really? once we bought the collectors edition for diablo II when i was little and it included the strategy guide which i stayed up all night to read (bc i had run out of other reading materials in the house) but like i don’t really use them idk

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?the sims three and i know you know the reason why but in case anybody else wants to know: i didn’t know they had actually completely changed the game since i had played it last probably a decade ago so i bought it @ walmart this year and then i got mad bc it apparently SUCKS ASS now so in search of a copy of the original version i bought a second one from amazon bc the Image being used WAS of the original case but it really was the new version so now i have two SHITTY SHITTY VERSIONS of a game i used to love that i will never play bc it’s shit except maybe i will bc apparently it has real life music in it just replaced with sims language which is amazing and this response is far too long for the question but i asked u if u were ready so u signed up 4 thisi also have an xbox version of it tht i got for like christmas or smth years ago and a,,,,,, ds version??? that i got last year bc somebody was selling “the original version of the game including every expansion pack” for only like $30 and it definitely said disk version but when i got it it was this Pre-owned Dirty Ds Cartridge Covered In What Looked Like Strawberry Jelly and when i tried to contact them they shut their page down so there’s that which equals four shitty shitty copies of the sims three and i will never be more mad about anything than i am about this

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?uh well back when i had a job i spent A Lot of money (to me it was a lot) to get the collectors edition of the last guardian so that would be my most expensive. other than that i would have to say one of the hardest to find (maybe not rare but not common)games i have currently is medievil for ps1 bc it took me like a week of searching to find a copy in good condition online for sale bc i rly wanted to own it again since we had to sell all my old games when we moved to oregon which sucked bc we had a Bunch of cool games (mostly early ps era)

9. Most regrettable purchase?did you see my rant about the sims three for answer 7? yeah

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?never lived in an area where that is A Thing

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?i wanna make a homestuck joke here (srsly probably not like i said i don’t rly do any type of co-op or multiplayer games so)

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?not really?? is that a Thing?

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?uh idk literally any COD game, basketball games, Fallout games, overwatch, anything that’s co-op, shooter games or sports related etc idk i’m a simple fellow these types of games don’t appeal to me

14. Favorite game music?idk what this means? like genre-wise??? idk abt stuff like that i just like good game music but i’ll tell you the fuck what, hiveswap music fuckin SLAPPED

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?fuck shit idk man i don’t rly want a tattoo maybe uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh smth that could be vague

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?idk rip lmao

17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Nah man i can’t even imagine smth as dumb as that unless they’re screaming racist or sexist slurs bc then friendship is terminated but otherwise like wtf it’s just a game,,,

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?i mean?????? sure????????????? they don’t have to game with me??????????? unless they tell me I can’t game bc they don’t like it in which case Bye u controlling piece of shit

19. Favorite handheld console?u kno those games that used to come in sonic happy meals? yah (jk uh i don’t have much experience w/ handheld consoles besides nintendo ds-es and they’re cool)

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?like i said i played spyro the eternal night so often i could beat it in four hours so probably that one.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?the only games i didn’t like as a kid i p much still don’t like now

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?i am Poor

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?currently skyrim or stardew valley

24. First Pokemon game?I didn’t get to play any pokemon games until this year actually but i got myself pokemon y and ultra sun so those are my first two! although you Could technically say pokemon go bc i played that for the first time like One month before i got y and ultra sun but like idk if tht counts so *shrug emoji*

25. Were you ever an arcade game player?i never lived where arcades were a thing tbh

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Why

27. Game that makes you rage?there’s this absolutely adorable and INFURIATING game called so many me that’s a puzzle platformer but the controls are so ridiculously precise that it’s absolutely the WORST to play bc unless you do it just right at just the right millisecond you will die over and over and over

28. Ever play in a tournament?nah

29. What is your gaming set up?the livingroom tv and my mom’s xbox one or my bedroom with my ps4 i got for my birthday and my xbox 360 that i got like 7 years ago

30. How many consoles do you own?alright so If ds-es count i own,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, roughly seven? i have my new ps4 i got for my birthday last year, my 7 year old xbox 360, another xbox 360 i bought from a kid @ school, a ps1 i bought last year for the Nostalgia that’s in rly good condition, a rly old ds lite a rly old 3ds and my new pokeball 2dsxl. i would also say that the ps3 my aunt left when she died is mine bc my mom never used it and she had bought most of the games For Me and Her to play together anyways so the idea that she left it to my mom is,,,, Weird but my mom claims it was left to her so Shrug emoji

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?“virtual boy” i love it omg. uh not really i don’t use my ds-es that often bc i don’t have a just wild amount of games but when i do use them it doesn’t rly mess w/ my brain or eyes too much

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?probably not?

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?i don’t think so tbh

34. Do either of your parents play video games?my mom does but she really only plays like three games (the newest assassins creed, skyrim, and stardew valley)

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?nope

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?man have u ever heard of brotherhood a tale of two sons? mom told me abt it and she didn’t warn me abt how it ended and i had to leave the room and cry bc it broke my heart

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?i didn’t know that was a thing

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?i can’t think of any tbh. oh wait i take that back sonic unleashed it’s terrible but i love it

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?maybe not a sequel but they rly need to come out with another stardew valley type thing or maybe expansions or smth so that you can talk to and befriend more ppl and stuff

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?never been able to try them but they look super fun and i can’t wait to see how they improve the technology

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?multi-player games period. also first person shooters and sports games. there’s more but i can’t remember the title of the game bc i don’t know what genre it would be lmao

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?i assume this means game related nerdiness not just my inherent nerdiness in general so probably the very first spyro game

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?all the time my dude

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?none

45. How are you at Mario Kart?probably shit i’m not good @ steering in games

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?i love them! i have like 100+ hours logged into stardew valley and i only got it in like november of last year

47. Do you like competitive games?not really

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?so long. i either have to make them gorgeous or beautifully hideous

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?yah tbh lmao. i have like eight thief stone khajits in skyrim rn

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?i have a Lot of ideas and not all of them are good

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?forgetting to sleep, yes. forgetting to eat? no 

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?i was a very sheltered kid i didn’t know about new games coming out when i was little bc we didn’t have any way for me to find out About Them. i’m making up for it by begging as an adult for ni-no-kuni II and the new spyro trilogy remastered

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?depends on the game tbh some of it is good and a lot of ppl who make mods are rly talented but sometimes the big companies just make dlc to make more money so it can be rly shitty so it’s kinda a 50/50

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?heck yes rn i’m waiting for house flipper to go on sale bc i’ve been waiting for it to come out since i found out abt it

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?no my style of playing the sims was more along the lines of make a hundred houses that are all P Much The Same House and making a hundred familys and never playing literally any of them hadflskja;sdfjdslkhja i just liked building stuff and that’s why i’m pissed abt how much they changed the sims three bc it used to be Way Better

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?we didn’t have it but i did have zoo tycoon and i’d release the dinosaurs sometimes

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?legend of spyro the eternal night

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?uh!!! that’s too much pressure and i would get so bored playing them for the rest of my life even if i loved them so i will not choose

59. Do you play any cell phone games?sort of? i’m big into abyssrium and i like viridi if those Count?

60. Do you know the Konami Code???????????????????????? guess not

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?keep them forever!

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?i got the last guardian before getting the ps4 does that answer ur question? (jk that is not the only reason i wanted and got the ps4 but it was One big reason)

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?not really? i just use whatever i currently have bc i am lame

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?nope

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?not a nokia but we had this one handheld thing that had a bunch of games in it that included snake i just can’t remember what it was it had like letters and numbers and it needed like regular batteries and you could only play the games that came programmed on it 

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?i cannot think of any right off the top of my head even though i know i played a lot of video games and loved them when i was little. hm it might not count as like a gaming-related childhood memory and more of just a memory of a game but we did have one really interesting little game that i absolutely loved i think we only rented it but u were a scientist who could turn into a mouse and it was absolutely amazing i loved it i have no idea what it was called hm

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?not really we didn’t have arcades around where i grew up

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? there are a lot of rly good ones i can’t choose a best game

70. Very first game you ever beat? like i told anon i’m p sure it was crash bandicoot warped

WHEW this was rly fun thank u for enabling me it took me like two hours to answer this i’m so happy. ilu 2 man hope ur day has been rad!

[ddrkirbyisq]

Suppose I should do another update.  I may not post often, but you can bet your butt that I still come back to it again and again...as I do with everything in life.  Everything. We've got non-personal advertising stuff, game stuff, and life stuff to go over. On Wattam finally getting released Wattam, the crazy game I worked on for 2 years at Funomena, finally has a release date and will be coming out for PC and PS4 this December on 12/17, just in time for the holiday season.

You can pre-order it now with a 15% discount, just go to http://www.funomena.com/wattamgame Wattam is not really a normal game...in fact it's abnormal in a crazy way that you kind of just have to play.  This game has been a LONG time coming and as one of the engineers on the small team that brought it all together I worked on quite a lot of it directly.  I hope that you'll give it a try, maybe even with a friend with 2-player co-op for double the laughs and fun. On Day of the Devs and Chicory I stopped by "Day of the Devs", an indie game event in SF which I was also at 2 years ago when I was first joining up with the Wattam team.  Back then 2 years ago I believe both Rain World and Hollow Knight were exhibiting there, along with a number of other games of course. This time around my main focus was on Chicory, a charming little game by the same developer of Wandersong (that one game about a singing bard):

I got to play the little demo build of Chicory and it basically ended up hitting most of the notes that I expected it to (which is great!).  It's got a fun and playful energy and looks to be a world that will make you smile as you go around and meet its inhabitants. I also ran into quite the assortment of random people at Day of the Devs...I brought a pair of glowsticks in case there was some apt music playing and indeed, there was at one point, so I did some freehand....literally within the next 15 minutes I got recognized by like 4 separate people whom I had no idea would be there......so funny haha. On the upcoming "Fusion" album I've got a new album coming out in just a bit!

This is a 4-track collaboration EP between me and A-zu-ra, with whom I've also worked with in the past on "Twin Wings".  We've had this music finished for quite some time and were just waiting on a good album art design to put everything out, so I'm happy that it's finally getting a release.  It's been quite a while since I've put out any actual high quality original music, so I hope you guys like this one. On Super Punch Out Super Punch Out playthrough is complete!  It wasn't too bad at all, honestly, especially after watching some guides.  The Special Circuit opponents took some getting used to, but weren't crazy difficult once you got the hang of it.  I didn't end up getting a 4-0 on the special circuit, but didn't really bother, as I'm sure I could, just a matter of trying it one or two more times.  Anyways, calling that game done! On Super Metroid My "Reverse Boss Order" run in Super Metroid continues, and I've got into the most exciting segment -- Lower Norfair!  I have pretty much the =maximum= amount of energy tanks, reserve tanks, and super missiles/ammo that you can reasonable have before going in there, so things are definitely on the easy side, especially now that there is so much more information out there on how to optimize movement through rooms as well as the Ridley fight. It's even easier than it was the last time I was doing an RBO run, since I have a couple of extra items: I have the botwoon energy tank, and also the maridia reserve tank, which definitely help.  The maridia reserve tank is quite tricky to get without gravity suit as you need to do some really tight underwater walljumps, but I eventually managed to get it. Anyways, I did the lava dive (though I failed the bounceball in that room, d'oh), did my save, and went through the first part of lower norfair, stopping by to get screw attack and get the supers from the golden torizo room as well as farm up a bunch of ammo.  Went through the Worst Room In The Game (yes, it's actually called that), grabbed the energy tank, went down and saved. I've now been practicing the Ridley fight a bunch and I have to say it's actually....way easier than I remembered it to be, mainly because of ShinyZeni's great tutorial on the ridley fight, covering ridley's AI as well as how to manipulate his pogo attack, and how to set up a wave beam X-factor right at the beginning of the fight to do a bunch of damage up front. I've got so much energy and ammo to spare that besides the ridley fight itself, the rest of this section is actually not that hard at all, I could probably even do an extra crystal flash if I really wanted to.  I feel like I'll probably get this segment on one of my first tries if nothing too bad goes wrong.  I think the main danger is ridley doing something unexpected and running into me during the fight, or failing to get grabbed properly by ridley. I've been watching some Super Metroid randomizer videos and it's something I'm actually considering getting into, maybe not super seriously but at least to some degree, at least just trying it.  Now that I've refamiliarized myself with a lot of the movement stuff and the general layout of Zebes, it's probably a great time to give it another try... On Dance Dance has been taking a bit of a backseat ever since I had a "bad experience" at a certain dance event -- not that anything actually went wrong, just I got put in a really bad mood unfortunately.  I'll be bouncing back from it I'm sure, but I wanted to just take it easy for a while.  I didn't want to write about it at the time, but it's been long enough now that I figured it can't really hurt anymore.  It ended up putting me back into the mindset I had while I was DM, something which hasn't really happened in a long time.  That's not a place that I want to be in. I did some glowsticking the other week, that was fun.  As always, it's hard to improve, but practice is practice.  I wish I could say that I was invested in improving in dance in general (solo and/or partner alike) at the moment, but as I'll explain later, now is not the time for it. Sayuri made an appearance at dance too, that was really interesting and I am actually really grateful for her presence there.  It has been a long time...too long, perhaps.  But she is not gone, not gone I don't think. There is another dance this Saturday...against perhaps my better judgment I am cautiously hoping to be more outgoing again for this.  But we will see if that ends up playing out, or whether I will need to just again retreat to safety.  There's not that much point in forcing it.  But I also know that there is light amidst the shadows. On Life I hit a bit of a hitch lately, been bothered by something that was nagging at me in the background until finally I figured out what it was.  It's good that I figured it out, but doesn't quite make it suck any less lol.  I spent a good chunk of today in recovery mode giving myself the luxury of taking it easy and focusing on just doing whatever I needed to feel OK.  Mainly taking a long bath, which was nice haha. I'll be bouncing back from this, too, but there's no need to rush it.

[misskatiemo]

My PRK (photorefractive keratectomy) Recovery Experience

I read quite a few PRK recovery blogs before my own procedure, and hope that sharing my own experience helps someone else considering or preparing for PRK.

I was a great candidate for both LASIK and PRK, but chose PRK over LASIK since I didn’t like the idea of an unnecessary flap, which seemed to surprise at least one Dr I had a consult with. 

I sail, so I had to schedule the procedure during the off-season. 

The danger of a rope (line, on a boat) flying around and hitting me in the face and dislodging or moving the flap, however remote, wasn’t a thought I liked, so PRK it was. 

I knew PRK would come with a longer recovery time, but I work for a company that allowed me to take a full week off of work to recover, no questions asked, and even was able to accommodate my location preference so that I would have more family support during my recovery instead of doing it all on my own or relying on friends. 

I went to 3 consultations and felt very pushed toward LASIK at one, and the 2nd and 3rd both seemed surprised that I was so certain that I wanted PRK, but answered my questions about both procedures and the differences between them objectively. 

I bought preservative-free eyedrops (day and nighttime versions) online before the procedure, minimizing the amount of things I had to worry about before the procedure or at the drug store while picking up my prescriptions.

PRE-PROCEDURE TIPS

Do your research. Look into the differences between LASIK, LASEK, PRK, and the other types of vision correction procedures your eyes are suited for. Don’t only trust the Dr’s word, look into things yourself.

Ask as many questions as you want. I asked questions about how long they’ve been doing these procedures, how many of my type of procedures they’ve done, how patients with my vision typically heal / react to my type of procedure, how big my pupils were compared to the laser treatment area (helpful for identification of possible side effects, more in LASIK than PRK but still good to know!), how the pre-procedure communication process would go, any recommended actions I should take before the procedure, what they’d prescribe me to help with pain / recovery, what laser technology they used and why they used it, and even how X laser compared to Y laser (another type of laser used by another place I was considering). If you have a question, ask it -- you’ll never regret asking too many questions.

Get more than one consultation. I went to three places and ultimately chose a Dr based on suggestions by many friends local to the area my family lives in -- that practice wasn’t even originally in my consideration set, and I’m glad I had multiple consultations to compare each practice against as it made me feel much more comfortable with the decision I made.

Don’t spend the first few days of your recovery alone. Seriously... just don’t. In my case I couldn’t see well enough to even order food off a delivery app, nevermind safely make food for myself or even a microwave meal. 

The day-by-day breakdown is below... 

Pre-PRK, my prescription was -2.75 in both eyes with no astigmatism in either eye. No dry eyes, either. 

1 month pre-PRK: I started taking fish oil pills and Vitamin C daily, as while neither were explicitly recommended by my Dr., use of Omega-3 showed increased healing rates for the patients treated with it in this study, and based on the popularity of taking Vitamin C in other recovery blogs (and the fact that it’s not bad for you), I figured it couldn’t hurt. 

2 weeks pre-PRK: I stopped wearing contacts and started wearing glasses full-time. These two weeks sucked and reminded me exactly why I was willingly paying thousands of dollars to have lasers shot onto my eyeballs in T-minus 14 days. I started trying to drink more water than I usually do on a regular basis, aiming for 72-80oz / day.

PRK day (Day 0): I was working until the very last minute before I had to leave for the appointment, and made sure to drink lots of water that day pre-procedure, as close to my 72-80oz goal as possible. 

Once I arrived at the Dr’s office I took care of the normal check-in procedure which included payment in full, and was quickly ushered back to the LASIK / PRK waiting area, which was separate from the main office. They took photos of my eyes with their machine (WaveScan™ Wavefront®), which made a “fingerprint” of each eye, based on 5 (or so) photos of each eyeball. 

As it turns out, my actual prescription in my left eye was -3.23, and my right eye was -2.84. After that, I took 2 Valium to calm my nerves and waited 30 or so minutes for the meds to kick in. The actual procedure started with my eyelashes being taped back, then a device placed around my eye to keep my eye open (right eye first), then numbing drops... and then the Dr took what I can best describe as a small toothbrush-like brush to my eyeball and brushed away my epithelial cells, using a small spatula to move them out of the way after he was done. This took about 30-45 seconds, perhaps more. The tech splashed my eye with water (cold, that I couldn’t feel until it hit my skin next to my eye), and more numbing drops. After that, I was directed to look at the laser (orange light, VISX® Star S4-IR™ laser), and the tech counted down in 5 second increments from 32 to 0 -- 32 seconds per eye. I could see the laser hitting my eyeball in various parts of my field of vision, but nothing hurt (then!). I was, like most people, nervous that I would shift my gaze, but I was assured that the laser would stop if I did... and it never did, so I suppose I didn’t! 

After the laser was done doing it’s thing, the Doc placed a bandage contact on my eye and shifted on to the other eye. After they repeated the procedure on my left eye, the Dr. sat me up and walked me over to an exam room next to the procedure room, and checked my right eye by shining a light into it (the normal white light they shine when you get your vision checked every year), and declared me fit to leave the facility. 

Other blogs mentioned a smell (from the laser hitting your eyeball + it being seared away), but either I inhaled only through my mouth or it was too subtle to notice for me... no smell! I was handed my “goody bag” by a tech, and everything in the bag was explained to my driver (my Mom, bless her), and we left right as dusk set in... me with sunglasses on already and my eyes tearing up due to the light, but not painful since the numbing drops were still in effect. 

On the way home as the drops wore off I started having SEVERE pain in my right eye (my assumption is that the pain was due to the bright light they used right after the procedure to check things had gone well), and had my Mom run into the drug store with my card and ID to pick up hydrocodone, which is what they prescribed for post-op pain, and which I took as soon as I got home. 

I stayed awake long enough to tearfully and quite messily stab at my dinner with my fork while wearing 2 pairs of sunglasses, put some anesthetic drops in my eyes, and then took a nap for a few hours, which helped with the pain in my right eye immensely, as well as the tears streaming down my face from both eyes. 

I stayed awake for another few hours after the nap, took another pain pill and fell back asleep for the next 10 or so hours.

Day 1: I woke up quite early due to falling asleep so early the night before, and did have some pain in both eyes. I was also very light-sensitive, so much so that I took a shower that morning with only a night-light on in the bathroom... and it was enough. I started a regimen of 1 type of drops once a day (in the morning, so I knew I took them), another type of drop 4 times a day (morning, lunch, dinner, bedtime), and the anesthetic drops as often as I needed them, but no more frequently than every 30 minutes.  

I went for a quick visit to my eye Dr and was pronounced to have “gotten a lot of healing done overnight” and clear to leave. He even said that I could back off of the drops I started taking that day 4 times / day to 2 starting the next day. 

Once I got home, I used Siri on my Apple Watch in 30-minute increments pretty much this entire day, and couldn’t do anything more than relax / sort of sleep on the couch with my eyes closed for most of the day... always wearing sunglasses. I did also start using the re-wetting drops, but would alternate these and the drops that helped numb my eyes mostly due to my fear of dry eye rather than a feeling of dry eyes. 

Focusing... when I was able to open my eyes without pain (from the light, in a dim room inside my parent’s house), I was completely unable to focus on anything closer to 15-20 feet to me. It felt like my eyes had been dilated, like they weren’t yet coordinated again for close-up sight. I slept for a total of about 15 hours that day, between daytime naps and other long night of sleep.

Day 2: More of the same, though I was less light-sensitive than Day 1. It was sunny out so we closed the blinds, and I took to my room with the blinds down and drapes drawn shortly after dinner, as my eyes were exhausted and it was painful to even keep them open, though I was able to keep my eyes open for 5-10 minute increments during the day (with sunglasses on at all times), and able to make my own food for lunch without fear of doing an appendage harm. 

Pain pill and eyedrop regimen was still the same as day 1. Pain on both days 1 and 2 felt more like pain around the rim of my eyeball, back into my brain, rather than anything on the surface of my eye. that pain was pretty consistent in terms of intensity for the first 48 hours.

Day 3: Every single recovery blog said that day 3 was the worst day, but on day 3 my eye pain disappeared. I woke up and took my final pain pill, following the same drop regimen (with the modification to 2x / day for the drops I was using 4x / day on Day 1 and 2). I didn’t need the pain pills at all after that, and was even brave enough to venture outside of the house (in cloudy weather, with sunglasses on) for lunch. I couldn’t handle anything more than lunch, and returned to rest for the afternoon.

Day 4: I had my post-op appointment to take out the bandage contacts, where they tested my vision using the letter charts, took out the contacts, looked into both eyes with the bright light again, and pronounced me fit enough to stop all drops I was previously on and switch to the steroid drops I grabbed from the pharmacy pre-PRK... 4x / day until told otherwise. 

Day 5: My light sensitivity has greatly decreased, though fluorescent lights still bother me quite a bit. I started back at work today, a few days earlier than expected, but only for a few hours... with my font size turned up to about 200%. I started the steroid drops 4x / day, and warning -- you can “taste” them in the back of your throat about 20-40 minutes after putting them in, so carry water with you! They taste awful! 

I’m able to focus better closer to my face, though small type still bothers me at any distance. I also noticed a haze or starbursts around headlights while riding as a passenger, with older headlights appearing with a haze, like what appears around the moon before certain weather patterns hit, and other headlines appear with starbursts -- the newer ones seem to do this the most. 

Despite this, I still think I can see at least as well as I could with contacts in, and I don’t notice any more or less starbursts / hazing than I’m used to when I drove with contacts in. Even on day 5, I can more clearly ready road signs in the distance, and my overall distance vision is sharper than it was when I was wearing contacts (likely as I was slightly under-prescribed, but I’ll take it!). 

Day 6: For those who use VSP as their current vision insurance, I heartily recommend that you take advantage of their program benefits for PRK. My plan included a slight discount (5%, I believe) off the prices of the Dr I chose (just sheer coincidence that this particular Dr had a relationship with VSP, as I chose him before even calling VSP to ask about any benefits), AND VSP will add a benefit once your records in their system update to show that you have PRK which allows you to use your regular frame allowance for non-prescription sunglasses. This saved me about $170 in total on the sunglasses I chose, not to mention a bit off the surgery -- well worth the fee I’ve been paying for VSP to carry their insurance IMHO! 

I did work for a few hours starting on Day 5 and continued this through Day 6, but my eyes quickly tired out around the 2-3 hour mark, and I didn’t push it. 

I also noticed some slight dry eye sensations when I woke up on Day 6, which previous to this day I hadn’t felt before. The steroid drops got rid of that sensation, and I started using the lubricating drops about once an hour or so, even if my eyes didn’t feel dry, just in case. I do notice that just after I put the drops in my vision improves slightly, and that lasts for about 5 minutes or so each time. Encouraging!

Day 7: My week PRK-aversary! Today was my first full day back at work and by the end of the day, my eyes felt it. I started getting a headache around 3pm, even while wearing my blue light-blocking glasses (purchase as a precaution to take extra good care of my eyes while they healed post-PRK). Unfortunately there were a few very important things due at work by the end of the work day, so I powered through until they were done, then took a break from screens for pretty much the rest of the night. 

My eyes held steady with regards to light sensitivity and vision quality over the last few days, and I still woke up with slight dry eye, so have continued my liberal use of lubricating drops both during the day, and the nighttime version as I go to sleep each evening. 

Day 8: It snowed on Day 7 and Day 8 (boooo), and I finally felt comfortable enough to drive in it on Day 8, since it clearly wasn’t sticking to the ground. I did drive with sunglasses on, which helped me not to squint even while it was snowing, and I’ve been careful to wear sunglasses outside in every kind of weather since to protect my eyes from UV rays and block out some of the glare with my new polarized glasses. Since I sail and kayak 5/6 days a week for about half of the year, I’m used to wearing sunglasses outside in most conditions anyway, and don’t find it out of normal or too much to think about to just keep wearing them, even if I’m not on the water. 

I did notice that the lights at Costco drove my eyes crazy, so I’m also wearing sunglasses indoors now if my eyes call for it. 

The rest from screens really helped my eyes today, and I slept for a bit longer than usual the night of Day 7 into Day 8, I think as a result of my tired eyes from my first full day back at work. 

Day 9: I decided to buy some additional “cheapo” sunglasses from Target, to serve as a backup for my usual “cheapo” pair (both “cheapo” pairs said 100% Uv protection and are polarized, though I’m not sure they’re as good of a pair as the expensive ones I bought earlier in the week). 

By the end of this trip -- about 30 minutes or so in length peering at small stickers on the lenses and then trying on various pairs -- I was completely wiped out and returned home to nap for a bit. The nap helped, and I spent the rest of the day relaxing and “watching” TV, letting my eyes see but not focus on the screen while I just relaxed and enjoyed.

Day 10: Today was my first official scheduled day back at work, though I did return earlier than expected due to my eyes being able to handle it (and me being slightly bored). My eyes became tired around 3pm, just like the previous week, and I knocked off of work for a few hours due to an oncoming headache I blamed on eye strain. After a few hours away from screens my eyes felt just fine again and my headache had gone away, so I was luckily in no pain and took my evening meeting with some colleagues in APAC just fine. 

Slight dry eye upon waking, small starburts / halos around streetlights and headlights at night, and slight light sensitivity have all been holding steady. 

Day 11: Today was follow-up appointment number 3, and I found out that I’m currently 20/25 in both eyes! Today’s appointment included a more thorough vision test than the appointment 4 days post-op where they removed my bandage contacts, and also included new photos of my eyeballs for the Dr to review (which, of course I saved to my phone so I could look at them as well... not that I really know what I’m looking at!). 

I drove myself to and from my appointment, and while I’m shy about driving at night, I do feel more confident doing so now that I know I’m well within the legal limits (which are 20/40 in the state I’m in at the moment) to do so.

The Dr and his assistants (who both had LASIK at the same practice) assured me that my slight dry eye was totally normal, that the starburst / halos are totally normal, and that I’m healing well. My next follow-up appointment originally scheduled for next week was cancelled, and I was given the all-clear to drop my steroid drop use down to 3x / day for the next month, then 2x / day for the next 2 months after that. Other recovery blogs I read noted that their vision started to rapidly improve once they started tapering off the steroid drops, and I’m curious if I’ll see the same.

My computer screen is still at about 150% and my other side effects are still holding steady, just like they were over the previous few days.

Day 12: I was still dancing due to my 20/25 vision news so soon after the surgery, not to mention the birth of my nephew -- whom I was able to visit in the hospital without light sensitivity and with great clarity so I could see his little face! My eyes were a bit drier than they were on Day 11, but the humidity in the air also dropped very low, which may have something to do with it... maybe not. Either way, the re-wetting drops were still just fine, and per my Dr’s orders I officially started to wean off the steroid drops by using them only 3x / day. Progress! I still needed to knock off work a bit early (around 3:30-4ish), as my eyes were quite fatigued, but they didn’t give me a headache unlike previous days.

Day 13: I drove at night for the first time! I noticed that headlights, especially the new kind v. older cars, cause slight double vision if I look straight at them, whereas streetlights and older-style headlights only have halos. The double-vision isn’t too bad, really. Aside from being moderately annoying I can still tell how far away the car is, if they have their brakes on or not, etc -- I just see two outlines of them instead of one. I did feel completely comfortable driving at night with no dim vision, no significant glares or halos, and only the moderately annoying double brake light outlines on newer cars. Though, since my overall vision has improved so much, I dare say I felt more comfortable driving than I did at night when I depended on contacts or glasses as everything is generally more clear now. I did work a full day, and while I made sure to take a solid AM break, lunch break, and PM break, I did notice that this day was the first day that I was able to get through work without a headache or eye fatigue -- all the way until after 5pm -- success!  My screen size is still between 125 - 150% depending on the program, and I’m still annoyed that services don’t do a better job of making their user experience pleasant (or even usable!) at larger resolutions, even slightly larger ones! 

Days 14-32 (weeks 2-4): Not much to report these days, as thankfully they’ve all been very similar. I still don’t have a lot of light sensitivity (but wear sunglasses in pretty much every outside condition, including rain and snow), do still see mild halos and starbursts, still wake up with dry eyes, and still am using the same non-preservative eyedrops (day and night versions) that I bought in December and thought I’d plow through in less than a week. A month later and I still have about half of them left!

I do notice that some days, while watching TV for example, one eye is “better” than the other. When watching the new Star Wars on Christmas Day, for example, my right eye was a bit fuzzy and left eye was more clear. Enough to be annoying but not enough to ruin my sight. The opposite has been true when watching Mr. Robot or other shows at home, as I’ve noticed my left eye being slightly fuzzier than my right at points, and one my right fuzzier than my left. It seems to even out and this fuzziness is always gone either a few hours later or overnight, but it is something I’ve had to get used to.

I also noticed that when coming back to my home location (since I had the procedure elsewhere), it’s the small things I notice more... like that I can see the “subway line arriving in” signs much more clearly now than before, or that the buildings outside my apartment windows in the distance are much more clear (Including Lady Liberty! Always a great sight.), and that it’s really nice to be able to see waking up and going to bed -- I feel like I’m getting used to things being crisp rather than blurry and my brain is finally starting to accept that I can’t see due to contacts being in, but rather because my eyes are that good again! 

I’m taking reading slowly, as the first book I tried to pick up looked like it had VERY small typeface (my Mom assured me it was normal, as did a few other friends), and I do get mild headaches if I read more than a chapter at a time. 

I’m still taking steroid drops 3x / day and use my daytime drops twice per day on average, and the night-time drops once as I’m going to bed. I don’t take any other painkillers, and I have kept up my Omega-3 (fish oil) and Vitamin C pill daily habits, as I promised myself I would do until 3 months post-PRK.

My next check-up is in about 2 weeks, and in between now and then I’ll be heading into really, really cold weather (-F temperatures!), so I’m making sure to call my Dr to see if there’s anything I need to do for such extreme cold... and of course bringing my sunglasses.

Days 32-41 (weeks 5 & 6): The last week has brought small but very noticeable improvements in my sight. Due to the weather, I’ve been working from home more often than I usually would during a typical week, but when I’m in the office and people are projecting onto a screen across the room, I’ve noticed that I can see the small fonts almost perfectly, and the larger fonts are crystal clear.

This is very noticeable for me, as even when I was wearing contacts I had trouble seeing smaller fonts (or even larger ones!) due to (I think) wearing contacts slightly too weak for my prescription, so between being able to see more clearly for further distances plus being able to read what’s up on the screen so well, I’m constantly being reminded of how much my vision has changed in only a short 6 (or so) weeks.

Reading is still a bit tough for me, and print seems harder than on a screen for some reason. I’ve also had to make a few small repairs to clothes (sew buttons back on, etc.), and I still feel practically cross-eyed when I try to focus on small things with very little color differentiation up close.

My next check-up is in 8 days, and I’m looking forward to my next vision test to see if my vision has improved any since the 20/25 it was measured at about a month ago, and also I’m looking forward to asking my Dr. when my close-up vision should become easier for me and not feel so strenuous! I’ve been trying to acclimate my eyes and have been making a point to read things in print on a daily basis... I’m not sure if it makes a difference, but at least it’s something I feel like I’m doing to help.

As of today I’m only on 2x daily steroid drops, which will continue for the next 2 months. 

My eyes are still slightly dry when I wake up, but they’re less dry some days compared to others, which is an improvement from very dry every morning. I’m still using the same box of preservative-free overnight drops I bought pre-PRK, and I have about a box left of the preservative-free daytime drops (I bought 2 to start with), so I anticipate those lasting me another month or two before needing to switch to the regular “in the bottle” eyedrops. Right now I’m only using drops a few times a day, more at night when it seems like I’m more sensitive to a dry eye feeling than during the day.

I still have halos and starbursts, and those have remained largely unchanged since I first noticed them after the procedure. 

Days 42 - 51 (week 7 - some of week 8 post-op): I officially have perfect / better than perfect vision! My eyes are both independently 20/20, and working together I passed the test at the 201/5 level with flying colors. YYYEEESS! I did mention my continuing morning dry eyes to my Dr and he told me about an OTC medication I could buy (Refresh PM Ointment), which I bought that day but only could find the generic for. So far, so good, as I’ve used it for 2 nights and have so far not had a single dry eye morning yet. 

Starbursts and halos are holding steady at “just like when I was wearing contacts”, so solved as far as I’m concerned. I haven’t had to sew any buttons lately, but I’m officially back down to 100-110% on my computer, tablet, and other screens, which indicates to me that my close vision is still continuing to improve. It’s not perfect yet, so I do plan on bringing this up at my 3-month post-op appointment in about 6 weeks or so if it’s not back to normal. Right now, that’s my biggest worry about my recovery. 

Going forward I’ll be using X weeks instead of days, since days are getting awkward to count! 

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Here is an update from a channel we found watch, listen and enjoy as you learn all about a typical face lift/ liposuction. Today I'm doing a very requested video that I have been waiting to do it for quite a while because I was waiting for my jawline to be fully healed from my laser lipo ok so a ton of people wanted me to do this video I'm kind of talking all about it my results I'm healing I am pretty much almost healed now I have to wear my head wrap for approximately two or three more weeks but out of three months so pretty much all my swelling is gone I'm the surgery I was amazing and it was just a really great experience that I wanted to do for so long if you watched my my secret video it was the big secret that i wanted to talk about it was doing this and I won't lie like a lot of you guys her supportive but a lot of people were upset with me about it I am very body positive on my channel here and I talked a lot about loving yourself and you know being happy with your body and who you are but I also think it's really important that if you want to change something you're more than welcome to change it because it's your body is your life do what you want to do with it. I am really really happy with my body I've lost a lot of weight over the years and I'm still plus size i'm still 14 or 16 and it was just I couldn't lose weight in my face and I have it's something that I could just never really lose it's totally okay to have a fuller face and it's totally there's nothing wrong with having a quote unquote double shit like I don't know what what the proper polite term for that is I don't really like calling it a double chin it just sounds kinda I don't know that sounds kind of rude but I'm there's nothing wrong with having that like it just it was my own personal thing that I wanted to change about myself and I wanted to change for so long and I'm comfortable with my body and I didn't know how to just lose weight in my face even have one of those things that like that neck exerciser, trust me i did that religiously and I still couldn't lose weight on my face. The older I get and the more I learned about myself it I've really come to the conclusion that you have to do what makes you happy as a person you can't worried about other people's thoughts you kind of have to just do what is right for you and what makes you happy and content I just I don't want to encourage you guys to go and get laser lipo if it's you know if it's not something that you should be doing. I lost weight the old-fashioned way with diet and exercise and I learned portion control is exercised and all of that but it's like I said, it's just it was really hard for me to lose weight in this area and it was just something I was really self-conscious about i mean i'm going to be real here i'm a you tuber i constantly filming myself i watch myself and you know even even four years before that I always remember just not being comfortable with that part of my body and I tried on offense a lot of things that neck exercises. I don't know where it is i know i still have it somewhere but like even my family knew that that was just like my biggest struggle on something I was very uncomfortable with I looked into sono bello is where I went you guys probably seen commercials for you before it's just a laser lipo center which is the 1i think it's in woburn I'm from Massachusetts so i went there i had a consultation not really sure what to expect from it I kind of just went in willy nilly kind of just like on so it's like I'm i want to finally do this i want to just look into it and i went i really like the facility i love with the woman that I spoke with a textbook to jen and I I was just I was I was kind of sold on it like it's only because like it was an invasive it wasn't a big deal she explained to me perfectly she kinda showed me how it would look how my jaw line would look she told me the price she explained to me how it would be done it's very non-invasive it's gonna be quick blah blah and i was like i'm totally down like she's like you want to look at next week I'm like okay I was honestly I was just extremely throw because it's something I've been wanting to do for so long so I'm just kind of give you a rundown on what laser lipo is so the thing about laser lipo I didn't really know much about it i know i keep touching my hair I'm so sorry it's like it's in my in my face with the so essentially laser light ball is super non-invasive you're actually not asleep for the procedure I think I have to say haha ok uh-huh so it's super amazing you're actually a week for it so you go in. I had my pre-op of about a week before and I just checked me out filling prescriptions and i met my surgeon and we talked about everything that was going to be happening so i would be super comfortable because you are awake for is you're going to want to know what's going on they give you a prescription to be filled they give you an anti-anxiety so you can kind of relax I I was a little stressed about it and I'm alive and they give you pain medication and for a few weeks before that or maybe a week before and a lot afterwards you take a little dissolving tablets under your tongue that help with bruising so you bruise a lot less I hardly brews at all during this I was really excited about it because i bruise like a peach normally hardly brews at all it was called arnica so I was like these little dissolving min so you have to take three times a day so i used those before and after my surgery. I went on my surgery date the facility is extremely nice extremely professional i had amazing nurses who are so calming and helpful you just do your typical pre-surgery kind of things you don't need an IV or anything like that you're just you go into the procedure room I you know it's very if feel surgical but like you're awake and you don't have to have an IV or anything you have an IV but they don't use it unless it's like an emergency they just have it ready if they need to use it first they did two incisions under my ear and then one right under my chin the first thing that they do is numb you with that honestly that's the the worst part is just that pitch that was the worst part of the whole thing and it honestly you just felt like getting my cartilage pierced my ear just one two three and it starts to numb you they then feel you i know is i don't want it if you creeped out by graphic part that's just me discussing the process here it was super super easy and I'm a wicked squeamish person so it's not that bad so they just they fill this part up with liquid and you're laying down they put on what ever pandora station i wanted got some taylor swift action towing I was very calm a chat with you throughout the process to keep you chill because that's my biggest fear. I've learned that with my body I'm about uncomfortable and I'm and maintain my size now cuz i'm comfortable where I'm at and i used to be i used to be someone who gained weight really easily but I'm you know I'm in a good place with my body and I'm really good at maintaining my weight so it is gone and the thing about fat cells is once the fastest are gone fat cells don't just regrow so actually it is gone forever but as I just want to like clear that up about by sucking out zapping the fat cells and taking them out the fat cells do not come back to that area I will gain if I gain weight it will be in other places not here so i just wanted to clarify that at least that's what i was told and that's what I research the crap out of first it so that is exactly how it goes the process probably took a total of like 45 minutes um you could feel honestly it just felt good hydrating toothbrush underneath my chin it was just like buzz ding everywhere it was not painful honestly it kind of felt like a massage it was not painful hell it's very calming so after that I put on a really tight compression head wrap that I had to wear for 10 days what you guys saw all over my blogs and snapchat Instagram i'm sure i was mr. blows along 10 days where you just had this really tight compression band on your head you could not do much and i drained for maybe the first day and then after that I healed up really really nicely really quickly. I'm I feel completely comfortable and happy with where I'm at now and it's just something I've always wanted to do i I don't want to encourage other people to go and get this done because there's nothing wrong with you you're not broken there's nothing to be fixed this is just me myself my own personal journey and i'm doing this video purely for those who are interested in laser lipo and my sono bello experience and want to know more about it but i would have to say that facility was amazing and if if it's something that you always want to do you know i would recommend going there but genuinely really think about it first any big decision you make like this is like permanent and it's important and it's very very very very important that you do it for you and you've wanted for a long time I've been thinking about this most of my life it's one thing about me it's always bothered me I don't care about my thunder thighs my old stretch marks on my belly it's it's just this that's always bothered me and it's something I've always wanted to do and please know it took a lot a lot of guts for me to put this on youtube and I always kept it a secret and I didn't want to keep it a secret sounds like you know I'm honest on youtube I put my heart and soul and my life out