#THESE ATE

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

the curse of summer is buying and eating an inadvisable amount of fruit in single sittings.

[aahsoka]

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

[sunbentshadows]

Iconic Performance Pop Girlie Of All Time

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[problemnyatic]

the steven universe hate is insane bc people are (or at least were) more upset that fictional war criminals got fictional hugs than they recognize that it singlehandedly advanced queer rep in children's media by lightyears and then straight up ate heavy retaliation for the nerve.

It does have real flaws that are worth discussing, but it also put their male protagonist in dresses and skirts and played it straight and even empowering, they aired a lesbian wedding on television, it was a genuinely queer, genuinely diverse piece of media through and through. It did a lot of real good for the real world.

But also the fictional characters caused fictional harm to other fictional characters, and didn't get an onscreen firing squad sentence. So, you know, it's basically ontologically evil in real life.

[naomistares]

caught up with farcille lore i am back

[janegumball]

Friends!

[emphistic]

Even before you two got together, you've always known that Sukuna was a heavyweight when it came to drinking. He was often the designated driver when you would go out with your circle of friends. Hell, he was the one who had to take care of you after having one too many Pornstar Martinis last week. Not that he minded. . .

But, with that being said, Sukuna was still able to get drunk sometimes; it was rare, but still. And when Sukuna gets drunk, he gets drunk. I'm talking absolutely wasted. To the point he doesn't even recognize his own girl is the one trying to cop a feel.

Sukuna scowled, swatting your hand away before it could touch his arm. "Fuck off. 'm not interested, 'kay."

"Babe, are you serious?" You laughed, steadying Sukuna as he almost tripped over himself. "It's me."

"I don't know anyone named Me," Sukuna said the name with confusion evident in his tone. "Now piss off."

When Sukuna awoke the next morning, he immediately told you of all he remembered last night, despite his pounding headache.

"The craziest thing happened to me, y'know."

You smiled expectantly, "Do tell."

"Some girl who was wearing the exact same pair of earrings I bought you came up to me yesterday. And her name? Super weird, never heard of it. It was Me."

"No, I'm pretty sure it was me," you said, pointing to yourself.

"What."

[notherpuppet]

Morning After

Part 2/4

Part 1 | Part 3

[thatscreamingrat]

it's READY! :')

[diorstarr]

Stop Erasing Zendaya’s Tashi Duncan From Challengers Because You Want New Internet Boyfriends, by Ayan Artan

[roipecheur]

The only thing you need to know about Tim becoming Robin is that he's the protagonist of a horse girl movie and Batman is the horse.

[communist-hatsunemiku]

ms 39/11

[ceceru]

rescue teams!

[dt75artblog]

WATCH OUT BOY, SHE'LL CHEW YOU UP

[annabelle--cane]

it's funny how wildly vampire media varies on how much blood drinking is lethal. for some vamps, if they get lost in the sauce for even just seven seconds then you are a total goner, absolutely deadzo. for others, they can have a multi minute sloppy slurp sesh with you twice a week for months on end and you only feel a little woozy. the vampire claudia drained her whole boyfriend in less than half a minute but count dracula himself needed like four tries to exsanguinate one teenager with a sleep disorder. one of the many ways in which claudia is superior to dracula.