#THank you for the request

[oryou-condred]

Could we see Vil or Epel in your style?

vivs is fun to draw

[jeonseoguu]

jonathan lives au but he's just an immortal talking disembodied head hanging from joseph's belt giving him advice like Mimir from god of war

he doesnt always listen

this is genuinely the funniest idea ever

[justmeinadaze]

What about a girl who on the surface seems to be happy. She's the one that is always there for people no matter what. Yet no one is there for her when she really needs someone. In a dark day where she thinks if she leaves the world no ones life would really change because she never really meant anything to other people. But Eddie finds her in a really bad state and somehow talks to her down and slowly overtime helps her feel wanted and loved. Shows her she's not alone.

A/N: I pushing this request and another someone gave me together because they were very similar. I get this to the core of my being and please never forget you aren't alone <3. You matter and the world is 100 time better because you're in it.

Warnings: Heavy material, mentions of emotional pain and depression especially feeling like no one cares and feeling like a burden. Enter with caution. I imagine a lot of us here have felt this at least at one point in our life.

Word Count: 2476

Everything is loud. 

Especially that voice that tells you no one cares.  Yeah you have your friends but they have their partners and their families. Yeah you have work but that’s all it is…work. The people you help are there for just that. As soon as you leave their peripherals it’s like you no longer exist. You have your family but it always feels like they are looking for number one…themselves. You’ve done everything for so many people and yet it feels like no one would do the same for you. 

It's not like you expect anyone to. You do things for people because you genuinely want to. Sometimes, however, it would just to be nice to feel like you were someone else’s first choice… 

Someone who woke up and was excited because they knew they were going to get to spend their day with you. Someone who while out in the world saw something random and their first thought was to call you to tell you. Someone who when you needed something whether it be to laugh or shoulder to cry on wouldn’t hesitate to be there. Someone who asked about your day because they were genuinely curious and not because they needed something. Someone who loved you unconditionally because you’re you.

It was a slow build up to tonight.

It starts with the little voice throughout your day telling you that no one would care. They’ll all move on after you’re gone. How long would it even take for someone to notice? No one calls unless they need something and you’re always the one to text first. You initiate meet ups with your friends and even then it’s hard to get everyone together. You fade in the background at work unless your boss needs someone to belittle. 

You haven’t seen your family face to face in so long. They always say their busy or their schedules are tight. Sometimes you call just to talk to your parents and no one answers. 

You had tried dating but most people you met up with just wanted sex. Anytime you tried finding a genuine connection, it was met with an innuendo that made your eyes roll. 

Today was particularly hard. Your account was overdrawn and you didn’t know how you were going to make it to the next check. Your boss said you seemed distracted and that you need to get your numbers to a better place or else you’d get a write up that could lead to a termination. You called your sister during your break but she didn’t answer instead posting online a selfie with her and her friends at lunch. You messaged a friend with a joke hoping to start a conversation about your worries without coming off like a bother. 

“I’m so exhausted. I wish I could meet a millionaire so I don’t have to work anymore lol”

She responded with a simple laughing emoji. 

You laid in bed scrolling through your phone at all the happy photos of people with their partners, other friends, and or children. They all seemed genuinely happy…why couldn’t you? You were really good at playing content but it took every ounce of energy you had. You didn’t want to pretend anymore. 

You wanted to place the weight of everything down for even just one day of relief while someone took you in their arms and told you that you were safe. 

The voice was practically screaming now in your head that you would never get that relief. The only way to end the pain is to remove yourself entirely from the equation. 

Your logic brain knew it didn’t want that but you didn’t know how to turn it off. 

Opening your front door, you ran outside in the rain in no particular direction hoping that you would end up wherever you were meant to be. You don’t know how long you were on your feet but suddenly you were swept off them as you fell forward into the mud beneath you. 

You heard a faint voice but it was hard to understand under the wind and thunder that shook the sky. A leather jacket covered your arms before you were lifted by your biceps and carried into a home nearby. 

“Jesus, sweetheart. Are you insane? You’re going to get yourself killed walking out there in this weather.”, the boy scolded as he shook his hair like a dog and took off the shirt he was wearing without any hesitation. “Fuck. Here let me take that here.” Grabbing his jacket, he rung it out in the kitchen and hung it on the counter. 

You watched him with wide eyes as he moved around what you realized was a trailer with purpose. 

“Alright, here’s a towel. Do you need to use my phone to call someone or—” The towel he handed you promptly feel to the floor when you didn’t reach out to take it from him, giving him pause as you both stared at it on the ground. 

His bare feet scooted against the rug as he placed himself in front of you and bent down to grab the towel again. You could feel his eyes scanning over you and when you glanced up to meet them you noticed they know reflected concern. 

“You know what? I’m being rude. I haven’t even introduced myself and I just pulled you into my humble abode.” With a big tooth filled grin, he extended his arms out wide and bowed. “My name is Eddie Munson and you are…?” He waits but when you don’t respond, he nonchalantly shakes his head as he stands to his full height again. “No worries. You can tell me when you’re ready. Um, I don’t think a towel will be enough and since it’s still storming you are more than welcome to use our shower. I have some fresh clothes you can change into and we can wash the mud off your outfit. If you want, of course. No pressure.”

“O-Ok.”

One of his eyebrows quirks at the sound of your voice before he flashes you another soft smile.

“Ok? Cool.”

***

When you step out of the shower, you can’t help but feel more relaxed under the steam that filled the bathroom. Eddie’s cigarette smelling clothes added an extra layer of comfort as they hung off your small frame. Glancing at the items on the sink, you smiled at the aftershave and hair product that lingered. Picking up his cologne, your smile grew as you inhale the smell that could best be described as home. You could get lost in that smell…

Continuing to dry your hair as you headed towards his room, you found the metalhead shoveling arms full of clothes that were on his floor into the closet. 

“Oh, uh, hey. Sorry. Yeah…my room isn’t usually this messy but…”

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for ruining your night.”

His face visibly scrunched in confusion as he took a seat on the edge of his bed. 

“What makes you think you ruined my night?”

“I just…kind of…appeared.”

“Nice, pretty girl like you shows up on my doorstep. Introverts dream right there, honey.”, he chuckles as you blush. “Naw, you didn’t ruin my night. I was just going to lay here, smoke some weed and listen to some music. Would, um, would you like to join me?”

You think for a moment as your eyes take him in. Eddie had changed out of his wet clothes and put on a long sleeve shirt with some shorts that reached past his knees. His hair had begun to dry and frizz in an adorable manner that had butterflies flutter in your tummy. 

“Ok.”

“Yeah? Cool.”

“Y/N.” As he slides down to the floor, his head tilts when he hears you speak. “That’s my name.”

Grinning, he reaches under his bedside table and pulls out a little box with a couple of joints pre rolled within. 

“That’s very beautiful. So Y/N, is there a particular genre I should stay away from or are you openminded with music?”

“I’d like to think I’m pretty open minded.”

Eddie lights the end of the paper between his lips and his chest moves with every inhale and exhale before passing it to you. The effects are immediate as you feel calmness wash over you, handing it to him before laying on your back beside him. 

While you continue to listen to the music that plays neither of you says a word as you pass the joint freely between each other. The most recent song ends and a guitar rift begins to play that you feel like you’ve heard before. When you turn to look his way, your eyes lock with his earnest ones as if he’s waiting for you to recognize it. 

When the singer begins to sing the lyrics, your eyes close as you grab your stomach and laugh harder than you felt like you ever had before. Watching the way your personality unfolded has Eddie cackling with you until you were finally able to catch your breath. 

“Is that a fucking rock version of Lil Wayne’s ‘Lollipop’?! Oh my god it sounds amazing.”

“I have this weird fascination with rap songs turned into metal covers. It just tickles my funny bone the right way.”

“I love it.”

“And I love your laugh. It’s infectious.”

Glancing his way, you softly smile as you pass him the last of the bud in your hand for him to finish. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s nice to see you smile. You seemed a bit sad when you came in.”

“Yeah…we don’t have to talk about it though.”

“Do you not WANT to talk about it?”

“No, I just…you don’t wanna hear all that heavy stuff.”, you sigh as you sit up and lean against his dresser. 

“I mean I want to hear more about you, Y/N, and if that ‘heavy stuff’ is a part of you than I wanna hear it.”, he responds as he sits up as well. 

“You don’t know me, Eddie.”

“I’m trying to, sweetheart.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why do you want to know? Like I said you don’t know me. Why do you care?”

“I care because I want to know why a gorgeous, seemingly kind woman like you was walking out alone at night during a thunderstorm. Whatever caused her to do that must be really hurting her and I know how much that sucks. I want to help…if I can.”

Your eyes take him in as he pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them to hold them in place. It was so odd to feel safe with someone you didn’t know. You weren’t sure if it was his smooth voice, the intense yet soft hues of his own eyes, or the protective concerned energy that surrounded him but you decided to take a leap and let go.

“When I get lonely…sometimes the voices in my head…get too loud. Not like you know voices, voices but just like that little voice…that makes the world…seem hopeless.”

“Like…no one cares about you to put you first and maybe the world would somehow be better without you in it?” When your gaze shifts his way, you find his have moved to the void in the floor in front him. “Yeah, I know how that feels especially when you hear it being reiterated with that voice.”

“It’s like an extra weight is pushing down on me and I can’t breathe.”

“You just want someone to take off some of that slack and tell you everything is going to be ok. And not because they want something or because they feel like they have to but because they genuinely want to.”

As you nod, you hastily try to dry the tears that fall before he notices.

“Y/N? I promise everything is going to be ok.” When Eddie slid closer to you, you couldn’t stop yourself as you climbed into his lap and curled into his broad chest as his arms circled around you. “You’re safe and the world is 1000 times better because you’re here.”

He continued to coo softly that everything was ok, rocking you gently in his arms as you continued to cry. 

################

Six Months Later

You beam as you hold Eddie’s hand at the table with your friend and her date as you wait for your food to served. 

“Hey, you know what would be fun? Maybe after we eat, we can head over to Scoops and try that new peanut flavor they have.”

“Oh, yeah!”, your friend exclaims with bright eyes. “I heard it’s so delicious.”

“I mean ice cream sounds great but Y/N can’t have that flavor. She’s allergic remember?”, your boyfriend replies nonchalantly as he quietly thanks the waiter as he places plates down in front of everybody. Without skipping a beat, Eddie opens your burger and steals your pickles he knows you give him every time before wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he eats with his free hand. 

Since that first night you met him, everything came almost easy with Eddie. For the first time, you felt heard and understood. Those first couple of months, you half expected him to disappear but every day he showed up with the same enthusiasm that made your heart want to explode. 

The first time you two fought, he realized it was because you were afraid to be open. 

“Sweetheart, how am I supposed to know it bothers you if you don’t tell me?”

“I just…I don’t want to lose you. I like you a lot, Eddie, and I’m afraid—”

“To be yourself? Baby, I like you a lot to. YOU… not some image of you. Don’t make yourself unhappy to make me happy. I don’t want that.”

From that moment on, you did everything you could to express how you felt and every time he tried to meet you in the middle. Every bad day, you were there for each other no questions asked. Every good day, you relished especially the small moments where you two would just lay on the floor and listen to music enjoying each other’s company without feeling like he’d rather be somewhere else. 

You were his first choice and he was yours. 

“How about we go to the arcade? They have that ice cream shop next door and then we can play some pool.”, you suggest knowing Eddie can smoke while you guys play as the music you both like plays. 

“That sounds like fun.”, your friend grins. “I’m not good with pool but I know Adam likes to show off.”

“So does Ed.”, you giggle. 

“Pfft, like you don’t like watching me bend over the table when I shoot my shot.”, he teases as he throws a wink your way before kissing your forehead.

##############

Eddie Asks/ Donate to me :)

Just in case y'all wanted to hear the song :P

[thefrsers]

requested by Anon: Bathena almost drowning in 7.02 + Bathena almost dying in their house fire in 7.09

[doitforbangchan]

Honeyy, requests still open? Can i ask for jealous reader believe a fake rumor about hyunjin romantically going out with another idol who is about to work with, so reader becames the last romantic and appears on his door late at night, to fight for his love since he's her man who isn't her man, but still is her man ❤ (pls, let the girl win his heart and the D too 🤧)

Requests are indeed open bestie!!

I hope you like this and it's what you were looking for!!

Never want to wake up - Hyunjin

Pairing : Hyunjin x reader (afab!)

Warnings: Fem! reader, Smut, unprotected sex, cursing, angst, pet names, slut used negatively, friends to lovers. Not proof read :)

WC: 2.4k

MDNI 18+

Your body was frozen, the news headline staring right back at you from your phone. 

‘STRAYKIDS’ HYUNJIN RUMORED TO BE DATING ITZY'S YEJI’

This can’t really be true, can it? Hyunjin was your best friend, and had been for years before he was ever an idol. Surely he would have told you about this? 

Then again, he has been reeaaallllyy busy lately. Too busy to even answer your calls. That would certainly explain why he’s suddenly dropped off the face of the earth from you. 

It all made sense now. Still re-reading the article you could not stop the tears that fell from your eyes. Truth is, you’ve been in love with him for years. He is the only guy you’ve ever really loved. None of the other guys could even hold a candle to him. That's also the reason none of those relationships ever worked out, they weren’t him. They never treated you as well, never were there for you when you cried, never took care of you like he had. 

It’s not like you could really blame Hyunjin for going for a girl like Yeji. She was incredibly gorgeous. And you were…. Just you. As you always had been 

“Fuck this.” You hissed clutching your phone, closing the article. You couldn’t just sit here in your pity, missing him like you had been for weeks. Time to take your mind off it. Maybe by being under someone else. 

Your back met the wall of the grimy club, the guy in front of you attacking your neck with sloppy kisses, his hands roaming your ass. He was cute enough. Not Hyunjin cute but really no man will ever be. It’s that thought that keeps you hesitant to reciprocate, even though it was you who flirted with him first and initiated this interaction. The man, San, had his hands wandering under the hem of your short dress, clutching your rear and forcing himself into you. 

This was quickly becoming too much; the hands on you, his mouth on your body, the smell of this guy. He wasn’t Hyunjin. 

You put your hands on his chest, trying to lightly push him away from you.

“San, stop” You mumbled, now becoming more forceful when he doesn't move from you.

“Hmm?” His mouth was still on your neck. 

“I-I’m sorry but I..I can’t do this.” You manage to get out. He pulls back from you to peer over you, disgust now filling his eyes. 

He scoffs, “Oh I see what your little game is. You’re a fucking tease. Acting like a slut then running away at the last second. Well not with me.” He turns and walks back to the bar not sparing you another glance. 

Feeling your shoulders drop at his words to you, the reality of what you had done was setting in. 

‘What the fuck is wrong with me? When did I become this person?’ The answer was clear. 

Hyunjin was what was wrong. 

Your mind was running a million miles an hour, and before you could stop yourself you collected yourself and ran out the exit. You had to see him. Had to speak with him. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hyunjin woke with a start, the pounding at his front door seeming to never end. He blearily looked at the time on his alarm clock. Who is trying to come over at 1 am? 

Heaving himself out of bed and to the front door, he was ready to chew out whoever was disturbing his sleep, until he opened the door and saw you standing there. In the skimpiest dress he had ever seen you wear, makeup messed up and arms wrapped around your body. 

“Y/n?” He asked, confused.

“Uh hey Hyun.” You could see he was clearly fast asleep when you disturbed him. “I really didn't mean to wake you. I’m sorry I’m just being stupid, I’ll go. Sorry again.” You turned to leave, humiliated now, when he reached for you by your arm to stop you. 

“No, what's wrong? Are you ok? Did you just come from the club?” He really had no idea what was going on. All he knew is that you looked like you needed help. He would always help you. 

Your shoulders were shaking, the nerves coming back at you full force now that you were here in front of him. You took a deep breath before beginning, “I just…. I was out at that shitty club downtown, and there was this guy…” 

Hyunjin held his breath waiting for your next words. Did he hurt you? Take advantage of you? Hyunjin would kill anyone who would do that to you. 

“A-and the thing is.. He wasn’t you, Hyunjin. I tried so hard to forget about you and Yeji but your face was all I could see when he was kissing me.”

He tried to interrupt you “Y/n I-” 

“No! Let me finish! It’s taking all I have to even get this far so please let me finish.” He nodded at you to continue. 

“I know I could never hold a candle to her. Yeji is beautiful. And talented. And everything a man could want. You guys really do make a handsome couple. But that doesn’t mean it’s not killing me inside, to see you together. The truth is. I’m in love with you Hyunjin. I have been for literal years. For me it’s always been you. I know you don’t feel the same I just had to tell yo-” 

Hyunjin cut you off, crashing his lips into yours and cradling the back of your head. Before you could even register what happened, he pulled back from you, his breath fanning over your lips. 

“I love you too, Y/n.” And he brought you in for another kiss. This time you reciprocated it. He could taste no alcohol in your mouth so knew you were sober.

This definitely wasn’t how you saw this interaction going. You thought for sure he’d tell you to leave, to never come near him or his girlfriend again. Oh shit, Yeji! 

Finding his chest with your hands you shoved him off slightly. “Hyunjin, you can't. What about Yeji? I’m not a homewrecker!” 

He laughed at your statement. “You’re right, in order for you to be a homewrecker there has to be one for you to wreck. There’s nothing going on between Yeji and I.” 

Huh? “But I saw the article, the picture of you both together. I thought…” 

He placed a sweet kiss on your forehead. “We’re working on a performance together. We are dance partners, that's all, sweet girl.” 

Dance partners. That’s all. You felt so stupid. You brought your hands to your face, trying to cover your humility. He grabbed your hands, prying them from you, “Hey look at me. It’s okay I promise. I know I’ve kinda been unreachable lately. I have so much to prepare for, I really haven't had any time on my phone. I should have reached out though to at least let you know what was going on. I am so sorry for keeping you in the dark. I never meant to do that to you.” He held your face with both of his hands, looking into your eyes. 

“You have no idea how much I’m in love with you.” That was all you needed. Launching yourself at him, mouths colliding. The kiss was everything you ever wanted. You could practically feel his love in that kiss. 

“Come on,” He mumbled to you, “let's get inside before my neighbors see what I’m about to do to you.” He hauled you into his home, mouth hands never leaving you. 

You felt a tingle at his words, and let out a little moan. The noise certainly didn't go unnoticed by Hyunjin, “Unless you want them to see you a mess for me? I always knew you were dirty.” He teased you.

Shaking your head no, “Uh uh. Want you to take me to your bed.” 

He closed the door behind you and led you into his room. 

“There's my little romantic. You really are perfect for me.” You melted at his words. 

Hyunjin flicked on the low lights in his bedroom, there was no way he would let your first time together be in the dark. He wanted to see all of you. 

He pressed your mouths together again, standing at the end of his bed. He let his hands fall to your waist, then to your exposed thighs, rubbing small comforting circles. 

“If you don’t want this, you have to tell me now. I don’t think I could let you go once I have you.” He whispered, giving you breathing room. 

You circled your arms around his shoulders, mouth finding his ear. “I want this more than you know. Want you so bad, Jinnie.” 

He groaned at your words, moving to slowly remove the dress from your body. He wanted to savor every moment. 

You let him pull the garment over your head and throw it to the side. You saw the exact moment he realized you weren't wearing a bra, this particular dress not needing one. His eyes widened, giving you a cheeky smirk as he pushed you onto his bed back first. He crawled over you slowly, mouth trailing kisses up your body until his mouth rejoined yours. Hyunjin let his hands find the soft skin of your breasts, fingers circling and pulling at your nipples, causing your hips to buck and grind on his growing erection. 

“Jinnie” He seriously could listen to your whines all day, “ Please Jinnie. Need you.” 

You reached your hands down to the waistband of his pj pants, sticking one inside the garment to grasp him. He let out a gasp at the contact, giving you a slight grind into your hand. His dick was so soft. 

One of his own hands traveled down your body, finding your panties and tugging them off your body, letting his fingers find your clit. When he made contact with you you arched further into him, whimpers falling freely. 

He cooed at you, “So wet sweet girl. Who made you this wet, huh?” Continuing to give you light fluttering touches, sweeping his fingers up and down your pussy. 

“You. You Jinnie always you.” Your words made his eyes roll back into this head. Your hand stroked over him, the movement from your grasp remaining consistent. You felt one of his long fingers run over your opening, before he inserted it into you, drawing a long moan form your mouth. 

“Fuck, so tight around my finger, Baby. I wonder what you’ll feel like around my cock.” He gave you shallow thrusts with his pointer finger, adding his middle finger to join the one that was stuffed in you. Your hips were bucking, the grip on his dick tightened and he hissed. “Easy sweet girl, you gotta be gentle with it.” 

“M’ sorry Jinnie. Just need you so bad. Need you to fuck me.” You looked up at him with glassy doe eyes. Fuck me eyes. 

“Ok baby. Ok.” He removed his fingers from your hole, and brought the fingers up to his mouth giving them a lick. Your taste alone could have had him busting in his pants. “But I wont fuck you. Not tonight. Tonight I am going to make love to you.” 

You wanted to cry at his words. You removed your hand from his member, and helped him push the fabric down his thighs revealing his cock in all its glory. And it was glorious indeed. Long and pale, head red and leaking ready to take you. He reached over to his bedside table to pull out a condom but you stopped him. “I have an IUD and I'm clean. Just wanna feel you raw.” 

Fuck you were perfect. 

Hyunjin positioned himself above your entrance, giving himself a light squeeze before he lowered his tip into you, breaching your walls. 

The sound you let out was straight pornographic. Never in your entire life had you ever been filled so deliciously. Hyunhin was feeling the same way, your body taking him completely in one thrust. 

“Oh fuck, baby. Your pussy was made to take me.” He let in a grunt of pleasure. 

You nodded dumbly, “Uh huh. Please move, Jinnie. Please pleaaassseee” Arms once again around his shoulders. 

He mouths at the skin on your neck and gives you another thrust. You were impatient though and brought your hips up to meet his, craving the friction. 

Sensing your impatience, he throws one of your legs over his hips and begins to drive into you. 

If he thought you were loud before he had no idea. He was sure he would have an angry note on his door by the morning. It was all worth it, though, to see your pleasure. To be the one to give you that pleasure. 

He could hear the sound of your wetness with each thrust, giving him another sign you were enjoying it. 

Your nails were running down his back, leaving red marks in their wake but neither of you cared. The feeling of him was too good. You knew you weren't going to last long. You had wanted this for literal years. 

“Jin. I'm gonna cum.” You warned him. His fingers returned to your clit and rubbed tight, quick circles over it, trying to help you get there. 

“Cum for me, my love.” That sent you over the edge, a sob leaving your mouth at his words. He held you close to him as your body shook with your orgasm, whispering about how much he loved you and how lucky he was that you were his now. His thrusts didn't slow even as he himself reached his high, filling you to the brim with his sticky essence. His moans of pleasure almost made you cum again, it was the sweetest sound you had ever heard. 

Only when he heard your soft whimpers of overstimulation did he stop, giving you a sloppy kiss before pulling out. He watched his cum leak out of you, feeling another wave of ecstasy course through him at the sight. 

He curled you into him as he laid next to you, rubbing up and down your stomach sensually. 

“I really love you y/n. I’m so happy you feel the same way.” He dropped a kiss to your head. 

“I love you Hyun. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. This feels like a dream.” Your voice was raspy from your previous moaning. 

Hyunjin chuckled at your words. 

“If this is a dream then I never want to wake up.” 

[teabutmakeitazure]

Congratulations on 1000 followers, 1000 mouths to feed, and 2000 watchful eyes (｢• ω •)｢ Couldn't happen to a better writer ♡

I saw you sneak Illumi on that list. I am very frightened of the needle man. Can I request something with the first time Illumi realizes he is obsessed with darling?

Perforate and Permeate

>Yan! Illumi x Fem! Reader

>Word count: ~3.4k

Red flags start appearing in the form of odd piercings on taxi drivers. The feeling of something horribly off surrounds you, but in the end, some people are always powerless, aren't they?

The first red flag of the evening was the creepy taxi driver. There seemed to be some sort of yellow ball stuck to the skin on his neck, and his movements and speech were somewhat robotic. The second red flag was that he offered you a ride without you even calling for one.

Thankfully, the evening rush hour helped you get away from the peculiar man, and you slid into the subway train, hidden and safe among the numerous people around you. Ironically enough, it felt a little hypocritical to find comfort among the number of people since you were always adverse to crowds. The smell of sweat and close proximity of human beings made you a little nauseous, but right now it felt safe.

The third red flag comes in the form of your apartment building’s watchman being absent. He never takes a day off and always ensures that the other watchman - the man who usually works as the receptionist since for some reason there’s a desk and everything in the lobby - takes his place while he’s away for food or such.

Neither men were there and as you press the elevator button to your floor, you catch a shadow in the corner of your eye before the doors close. The fourth red flag is that your apartment windows are open. Not all of them, but the living room windows are open. You’re absolutely certain you had left them closed when you left. You could even swear on it.

Nevertheless, some sort of dismissive hope deludes you into believing that the wind opened them and you don’t dare come any closer. The reminder to check their locks is pushed into the back of your mind when you fall onto your bed face first. Silence envelopes you, its warm hands granting you the comfort of your home.

Despite how quick the comfort came, all relaxation leaves your bones when your phone rings. As you accept the call and press your phone to your ear, you realise you almost drifted off. Your mother’s voice greets you before turning into a scolding one when you tell her you just got home.

The conversation goes as it usually does, your nerves calming down despite the subtle feeling of not being alone. You don’t blame your scepticism. Ever since you moved out, you’ve always been careful and paranoid. Maybe it has to do with preferring silence and being around less people, but you don’t like the lonesomeness and silence as much as you thought you did.

You say goodbye to your mother on the phone, and sit up, groggily making your way to the kitchen. The silence of the apartment unnerves you, so you turn on your phone’s flashlight and check every single room and cupboard of the house, leaving all the light bulbs on.

The apartment is now fully illuminated and the TV plays some random news show while you cook. It makes for good white noise and you don’t feel as alone anymore.

But you still feel watched.

The curtains are promptly drawn over the windows.

Thankfully, the feeling goes but quickly returns when you sit down to eat dinner. The panic that arises constricts your throat, heart beating in your throat and you immediately dial your mother again, praying that the paranoia dies down.

It doesn’t. She never picks up. 

Three phone calls later, she picks up but excuses herself saying that she’s going out for lunch with your father. The time zone difference makes you frown, realising that you're ruining her weekend with your baseless paranoia.

Dinner gets your attention back, but something seems to have its attention on you.

You're cognizant of the sounds coming from the street, television muted. The drip drip from the kitchen sink sings the vocals while the refrigerator buzzes the music. Exhaling, you pay attention to the noisy details, dinner finished and an empty plate in front of you.

The feeling goes away soon, but comfort doesn't return.

-

The first red flag of today's evening follows behind you. A man with his hoodie hiding half his face is trailing behind you, and you're briefly wondering how dense he must be to not realise that you're leading him in a circle for the fourth time. You don't mind the extra walking, but it's pretty annoying.

Should you lead him to a police station? Losing him doesn't seem to be an option. He's persistent. Even in the fifth circle, he's casually walking behind you.

You go ahead with making your way to a nearby station, but he slips away when it's in sight. Your eyes watch the man as he heads the other way, an uneasy feeling stirring in your chest at the loss of someone's eyes on you. As you make your way back to the subway station, you contemplate walking home instead. Maybe you could drop by a café or even pick up dinner from somewhere.

However, a second red flag appears while you are in your thoughts. A taxi stops in front of you when you're scrounging around your bag for your phone and the window pulls down to reveal a taxi driver with a strange yellow piercing between his eyebrows.

The driver offers you a ride, and you stare at him dumbfounded. You didn't call for a taxi. A few passer-bys send you confused looks, but you brush it off. The man is promptly shut down and you walk away, mentally cursing yourself over the lack of crowd on the street.

Almost as though on cue, a lady grabs your arm. Her grip is unyielding and she frantically explains how you need to come with her. A familiar yellow piercing on either side of her neck greets you when you turn to look at her, but any composure you have quickly dissipates when she starts pulling you.

It takes everything you have in you to pry yourself off and run in the other direction. The few people that did stare at you turn away when they see you running, and honestly you don't blame them. No one wants to get tangled up in something like that.

By the time your legs start hurting, you're almost home. There's no time to pick up anything from a restaurant so you make a mental note to order in instead. As you walk with your phone in hand, the situation dawn's on you. Three red flags already. You don't even want to know what the fourth one will be.

But alas, the heavens never hear your silent pleas and the fourth red flag stands in the watchman-less lobby of your apartment building. You hadn't seen either men today as well, and simply seeing the person who casually leans against the wall with eyes fixed on you is making your heart do literal backflips inside your chest.

"[Name]."

The simple greeting makes you freeze. Hands grip your bag tighter as you look into his bottomless eyes and greet him back with a simple hello. He doesn't seem to mind your nervousness and gets straight to the point.

"I wanted to see you. It's been quite a while."

Your finger remains on the power button of your phone, ready to press it five times at the earliest notice to send SOS messages to your friends. Upon receiving no response, he continues, trying not to eye your deathly grips on your belongings.

"How was your day?"

"It was… fine." Voice meek, you don't know what to say to him. It's not everyday you see a person such as himself. "How… have you been, Illumi?"

The question seems to perk him up. "I'm not quite sure, but I suppose I've been alright. I do want to ask you something. Why are you holding your phone and bag so tightly?"

The muscles on your legs go taut, and you briefly glance at the elevator door thinking you could make a run for it. However, the reminder of Illumi's occupation mocks you. Of course a hunter wouldn't let you go so easily.

"I'm not sure." Your words are unsure as you speak. "I guess I'm not feeling very well."

"Should I get you medical attention?"

"No. Not that kind of not very well. I just feel a bit down, that's all."

He seems to have understood something because he's nodding. "I see. If there's nothing wrong with your physical health, it'll go away. Make sure to rest properly and you'll feel better."

"Thanks. I'll go to bed early tonight."

"Are you free right now?"

Free? Does he want something? You're no help to a hunter. "I'd like to get to bed as soon as possible, but I'm willing to hear you out."

Your grip on your phone loosens a bit, and Illumi immediately takes a few steps closer. Hardly a foot of space is left between the two of you, but before apprehension can return, he's demanding all your attention with his words.

"May I have your phone number?"

What?

"My… phone number?"

He nods. "Yes. Your phone number."

The dumbfounded look on your face makes him blink at you owlishly. 

"I was wondering whether or not it would be appropriate for me to ask for it. I suppose I settled with ignoring the thought."

Did he… really just admit that? 

"Um, alright. I don't see why not." You know where I live anyway, the voice in your head continues. 

You share your contact information with Illumi, but you have no idea why he wants it. His intentions are as clear as muddy water. It doesn’t make you feel any better, but if nothing, at least he asked you for it. With his licence, he could have obtained your number with ease like how he ended up in your apartment's lobby. You give him only a few points for human decency.

When he’s done saving your information on his phone, a satisfied look is on his face. The silence of the lobby remains as you wait for him to finally let you leave. That is to say he doesn’t request to visit your apartment.

“I think that’ll do.” Illumi looks up, head tilting slightly when he sees your exhausted expression. “You should rest. I won’t stop you. Just seeing you this evening is enough for me. We can talk some other time.”

Talk? What would you both even talk about? The only reason you know him is because some target of his was your work client and he scared him off. Honestly, never hearing from that man again is one of the best things that happened in your life.

“Sure,” you reply with a very obviously unsure voice. “I’ll see you later then.”

Illumi waves you off and as you step towards the elevator, you feel a little shameful for not inviting him for dinner. But then you remember that you live alone and he’s an adult man. Perhaps it’s better to not do so.

As you press the button, you glance back at Illumi down the lobby. He's waving at you, so you wave back. The door starts to close and the expression on Illumi's face changes. Lips curl upwards, eyes crinkling as well.

When the door closes, you're thankful for the distance. You never want to see that horrifying grin on his face again. It sent shivers down your spine and it seems like the creepy smile is now engraved into your brain.

Had you not been in the elevator, you would've ran out the lobby. Perhaps some people are better off expressionless after all.

-

It's been an entire day since Illumi took your number. There's been no contact, no message, nothing. As you stare at your phone sitting in front of you on the sofa, you think back over today's evening bitterly.

There was another taxi driver with the same yellow piercing. Added to that, an old woman with the same piercing had approached you and asked to walk her home. You declined. Though it felt bad to say no to an old lady, you didn't want to possibly find any unwanted trouble.

Besides, there's something definitely wrong going on. After the old lady, you found the watchman in the lobby. Even he had a piercing on his face, in between his forehead to be precise.

You didn't bother to reply to his greeting this time. There was something off about his smile.

Maybe you should move out as soon as possible.

However, that's not what's bothering you. It's the fact that there have always been four red flags. This evening, you only came across three.

The thought of an impending fourth one makes you feel nauseous. You're home now, back to safety. There has never been anything bad between these four walls, so why would there be anything now?

Maybe you missed counting a fourth one. Yes. That's it. You just missed one red flag. The thought doesn't do much to console you, but it's enough to allow you to sleep when your head hits the pillow. Unfortunately for you, that doesn't last very long.

The feeling of a pair of eyes wakes you up with a startle. You immediately throw away the covers and run to the switch, turning on the lights. Nothing. The same goes for the rest of your apartment. All the lights are on but there’s nothing out of place.

Are you going crazy? 

It must have been a bad dream. You still feel watched, but that’s just because you just woke up. Water. You need some water.

The glass is quickly emptied as soon as you fill it, and now you stand alone in the kitchen, the silence of the night and the refrigerator’s hum your only companions. The kitchen counter is cold underneath your lingering fingertips, and begrudgingly, you part with it.

Sleep doesn't come back easily. At least half an hour must’ve passed with no sign of slumber’s gentle embrace, so you get up and turn off the bedroom light. The door is then left open only a little bit to let some light from the living room bleed inside the room.

It doesn’t help much, but your eyes feel less burdened.

Upon turning to the other side and nuzzling into the sheets further, the lessened burden seems to increase again. There’s someone resting their face on the mattress, body probably sitting on the floor and this person’s eyes seem to be fixed on you.

It takes you blinking a few times and sitting up to realise this isn’t a dream.

By the time your eyes have completely blinked away any sleep, a hand is slapped over your mouth to stop you from screaming. Your chest heaves as you follow the arm to the body it’s attached to and finally the face.

Illumi.

“Pardon me if I woke you up. It wasn’t my intention.”

The mattress dips as he joins you on the bed. If the circumstance wasn’t unfortunate enough, he’s now literally hovering over you with one of his knees between your parted legs under the blanket. Long black hair cascades around his face as he leans in, large eyes observing your features.

You blink at him as your breathing settles down. The lack of action from Illumi’s end does help your nerves calm down a little, but the threat of an obviously more powerful man literally above still remains.

This is your fourth red flag.

The weight of his observant stare weighs you down, the feeling of a boulder on your chest making you sink backwards into the bed. All that you see are Illumi’s large, dark eyes. It’s suffocating and you want to scream, but the sound dies in your throat before he even lets go.

You don’t dare make a single noise as he sits up straight on your thighs.

Illumi briefly breaks eye contact, eyes dropping down to your collarbones peeking from your neckline from the dishevelled state before his eyes go back up to yours. The weight of the boulder had lifted during that time, but with his eyes back on you that weight goes to your consciousness.

“I suppose I should commend you for not screaming. Seems like you’re quick to understand.”

All he gets in reply is your nervous gulp.

“You require an explanation, don’t you?”

This time, he tilts his head at your lack of response.

“I gave myself an ultimatum. Four tries every evening for every working day of this week are all I have to work with. If your refusals of my lenient methods bother me, then I must get to the bottom of the feeling. If I am not bothered in the slightest, I must stop wasting my time.” Iluumi pauses, possibly in anticipation of some sort of response, but continues. “I suppose my presence here at this hour explains which conclusion I had come to.”

He waits again for a few moments but ends up explaining his own words himself when you’re still frozen in what he thinks is shock. “Your refusals bothered me. I can’t be certain why. Even your less enthusiastic response to me asking for your phone number bothered me.”

You’re still staring at him. Mind barely processing the words. Illumi is in your room in the middle of the night. Illumi is a hunter, a potentially dangerous person, and he’s caged you to your own bed. This is the most vulnerable you’ve ever been in your life, yet you can’t even bring yourself to cry over the absolute fear you feel because of the intensity that keeps growing and radiating from Illumi.

“You occupy my thoughts more than I would prefer, and the only cure I found for that is to watch you when you’re home. No other activity soothes it.”

His index finger and thumb hold his chin as he continues thinking over the matter, but his eyes are still fixed onto you. When his eyes widen slightly, the intensity you felt grows dramatically and you have to reflexively cover yourself till the top of your head with the blanket to not end up asphyxiated.

A hand gently pulls down the cover till your chin, and luckily, the intensity mellows enough to allow you to breathe.

“I came here tonight to understand why trying to sleep on my own causes me distress. It’s like I search for you in my own bed, and the lack of your presence makes me restless.”

He leans in, hands sinking into the mattress on either side of your hips and you instinctively shrink into yourself. Voice perfectly even, the tone betrays the depth of his words. “I talked to my mother about this feeling and came to a conclusion. I’m in love with you.”

Sweat starts to bead at your forehead, but Illumi’s eyes refuse to allow you any reprieve. One of his hands sneak up your body, fingertips gently tracing the outline till his hand lightly wraps around your throat. The grip is non-existent but the threat of a not so well meaning squeeze still exists.

“All I need to do is squeeze. A fragile human such as yourself would give in to death in under ten seconds if I do decide to test my grip. However, even the mere thought of it bothers me. Even now, I can’t bring myself to hurt you.”

The hand moves further upwards, cupping your cheek despite the sweat. “At first I thought you were using some kind of Nen to bewitch me, so imagine my surprise when I found out that you’re a non-user.”

You finally manage to shakily exhale through your mouth, but the beating in your heart suddenly becomes too loud when his thumb traces the edges of your lips.

“I thought I should kill you to get rid of your spell, but the thought of you not existing anymore made my chest ache.” Illumi sighs. “Seems like the damage has been done, and it’s quite a lot. With how the majority of my thoughts are about you, I could even claim that I’m obsessed.”

The intensity grows again, and it gets even harder to breathe in the cool room. When Illumi’s thumb forces your lips open and presses down on your tongue, you can only hope you’ll be safe. After all, the look in his eyes is absolutely frightening.

[babumakeanart]

For Hairstyle meme:

Nadia Satrinava (arcana) for curly hair.

Thank you

Thank you so much for the wait, I got sick so it took longer than I wanted haha Still, a lot of free space to take if anyone wants anything!

[rebka18]

For @mitsybubbles i like to think seri and reigen never whent to a prom (seri cause of the isolation and reigen cause he didint had anyone to take even a friend) so the kids ended up asking them to chaperone but end up enjoying themselfs instead !!!

[mr-megaphone]

would love to see you draw magnus :-)

magnart......

[dontforcemetologin]

good old Jeremiah “no bitches” Cimmerian.

an icon.

art requested by anon, thank you for request! If anyone has any other requests/ oddly threatening questions I’d appreciate ‘em.

[pollsgalore]

Learning Languages at School, European Edition!

Requested Poll

*Context from requester:

Hi there,

recently there was a poll about learning a second language at school (I think it was primarily for people in English-speaking countries) and I thought it would be interesting to see what learning languages looks like specifically in Europe. So, I tried to think of as many answers as I could without it turning into a multiple-question poll (like: when did they introduce the languages; what about dialects etc; if there is some kind of classical schooling in your country; —you're welcome to write about that in the comments, I'm curious about that too).

The basis premise is that we all know we're learning our country's language (unless you're attending an international school or a linguistic school that teaches you other subjects in another language).

I want to ask you about other languages you've learnt at school! (Also, please don't kill me for the assumptions made here. The poll is based on my experience and what I learned about one or two other countries, specifically.)*

*I had 2nd (English) and 3rd (French/German/Spanish/Other language) that my school chose for me.

[sleep-deprived-luka]

could you maybe draw honasaki.. that’d be awesome i think

You are very correct anon

[bangchansbackohmygod]

how do you think felix would sext

Excellent question!

Answer: like an absolute dork.

-Deeply anxious about catching you at a bad point or someone else seeing the texts, so he spends a loooong time using small talk to narrow down where you are, who you're with, what mood you're in, if you're about to do something important, etc etc etc

-Vague enough at first that you can't tell if he's being sweet or spicy, he's straddling that fine line between "I miss you :(" and "I really miss you"

-Gets so so so embarrassed, you gotta pick up on his vibes and take control of the situation or else he's gonna chicken out and start telling you about a fluffy dog he saw when he was out to dinner with Chan.

-If you can build up his confidence a bit though, assuring him that you wish he was there and you want to know exactly what he could do if he could reach out and touch you now, he'll remember his greatest weapon:

-the voice messages will start coming in.

-deep rumbling whispers of your name

-hushed recollections of his favorite memories of you, specifically of your soft skin and your sweet mouth

-long messages that throw you for a loop as he describes how his own touch isn't enough for him, only to pause when Han rushes in and babbles about a recent anime, and resume as soon as you hear the door shut with groans and whimpers that make it clear his patience is wearing thin

-At that point the texting stops and you're either going straight to facetime or ten minutes later you're receiving an absolutely scandalous video message

-spend as much time with him as you can, he cannot handle sexting

[caelanglang]

For some fluff brain rot, I think while Dazai complains about Chuuya’s motorcycle to tease him (and because he won’t admit that it sort of scares him even with a heightened chance of death), he actually likes riding it with Chuuya because it gives him an excuse to hold onto Chuuya tight.

anon you are so true.

when it first happened, Chuuya drove real fast to get rid of Dazai asap and Dazai held him tighter for that... later on, Chuuya would still go fast (hoping to get Dazai to hold him closer) but would take the long cut because they're idiots like that lmao

[justmeinadaze]

Hi! I have this really REALLY angsty request that if you don’t want to do it okay, but since you’ve posted things with a similar theme I thought maybe you could write it.

So it’s similar to the pop star!reader x bodyguard!steddie, but this is just regular them Ig? So reader overdoses with some of Eddie’s stuff, and when the boys arrive, Eddie kinda gets flashbacks from when his mom overdosed. I’m just really a craver for angst, hurt, comfort fics

Thank you so much! I love your stuff!!🤍🤍

Steddie Asks/ Ko-Fi <3

Warning: Dark themes of drugs and overdosing, all three discuss an incident where the reader overdoses

The table is silent as you and your boyfriends pick at the food they had purchased after bringing you home from the hospital. Having grown accustomed to the balanced meal they provided, you were struggling to fully get through the heavy pasta in front of you. 

You hated this; the weighted energy that hung in the air. 

You would give anything to go back to how things used to be when you, Steve, and Eddie could just laugh and have fun but a line had been forever crossed. Trust broken in that one moment when you snuck into the metalhead’s things and found drugs that weren’t meant for you especially after you promised things were going to be different. 

“I know! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to go overboard. Everything is just so overwhelming and it helps me…breathe. I promise, I’ll slow down. I’ll get clean, I swear.”

You meant it at the time and every time after when you talked yourself out of buying a new supply. But when you were fired from your job for seemingly no reason, you needed to numb your brain. 

“Just one more.”, you had told yourself.

One more turned into another hit and then another…and another…until a couple of days later you woke up in an emergency room with your boyfriends clinging to your hands. 

“Do you want me to make you something?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve barely touched your food. If you don’t want it I can make you something else.”, Steve explains as his eyes scan you over. 

“Oh, um, no. I’m ok. I’m just not very hungry, I guess.” He nodded without saying another and you felt like you were going to explode. “How long are we going to do this?”

“Do what, honey?”

“Avoid the topic of what happened.”

“We don’t need to talk about that now.”, Eddie mumbled without even looking your way.

“I’d like to. I’d prefer it over this.” Neither man said anything as they continued to stare in front of them at their food. “Come on, guys. Yell, scream, throw things; I don’t fucking care just…talk to me.”

“Not right now.”, the metalhead repeated in a firmer tone. 

“When then, Ed?”

“Whenever Eddie chooses it seems.”, the other boy sassed throwing you off guard slightly. You half expected any hostility to be directed towards you but the way Steve said that…he was angry at his friend as well.

“Well go on. Out with it, Harrington. You’ve been fucking passive aggressive since we got to the hospital. Just fucking get it out, man.”

“Oh, it’s ok now? Now you’ll fucking listen to me. You didn’t listen to me when I asked you not to keep any drugs in this fucking apartment!”

“I didn’t expect her to dig through my things!”

“She’s an addict, you fucking idiot!”

“HEY!”, you shouted as Eddie rose from his chair, knocking it down behind him. “I said talk, not be mean. This isn’t his fault.”

“No, you’re right. It’s both your faults. I asked him not to bring drugs here because you were trying to get better, Y/N, but you were still struggling. I saw it every day you came home! You were always one step away from fucking breaking but you never said anything! Why!? Why didn’t you talk to us or hell even a doctor?! I don’t fucking care!”

“I didn’t know how…”

“Oh, fucking bullshit!”

“Because I didn’t want to burden you two! That’s all I fucking am! You both have enough going on than to deal with me.”

“So, this was better? Us finding you on the fucking bedroom floor?!” At Steve’s words, Eddie crossed his arms as he hugged himself tightly; the memory of that day hitting them both. “Did you think when we found you barely breathing, we thought ‘Oh thank God. One less problem.’? Or when we watched EMS poke and prod your pale, sweaty skin that we were thankful you did this instead of coming to us? That we would be proud that you feel better numbing yourself with that shit than being open with the men you supposedly love?!”

In anger, he flipped the dining room table making you jump and stand as everything crashed to the ground. The former jock had been holding this in for weeks and now that the flood gates had been opened, he couldn’t stop them. 

“I thought you were gonna die. You didn’t see what we saw, Y/N. All the color was gone from your face and you were so sticky with sweat…I’ll never forget that smell… You didn’t move or answer us. When EMS arrived, they were shouting a lot but the thing that stood out was ‘She’s not breathing.’”

Eddie’s own breathing stuttered and when you glanced his way you realized he was trying to control the tears that had begun to fall. 

“They asked what you took but when we told them we didn’t know but we know your history and they suggested what it could have been, I knew from his face it was something Munson brought in. I almost fucking killed him, Y/N.”

“Steve—”

“No. I’m not exaggerating or anything like that. It took all of my energy to not beat the shit out of him right then and there.”

“You think I don’t do that already?”, the metalhead growled. “You think I don’t fucking beat myself for what happened?! I stopped dealing the moment we found out about her vices. I gave Rick back everything I had because I knew that temptation would be hard for her. He needed someone to hold onto his stuff for a couple of days because Rick expected his PO to make a surprise visit. Steve, I swear to God, I didn’t think she would… I trusted her…”

After drying his eyes, Eddie squared his shoulders towards you both. 

“Maybe that was naive but she was getting better. That’s our problem, Harrington. I trust her too much and you don’t trust her at all!”

“I don’t and this is exactly the reason why!”

“I understand.” Your tiny voice cuts through their fury giving them pause. “When I get low like I did and the craving hits… it’s like being in a black hole I can’t crawl out of. I didn’t think about how my choice would affect either of you but especially Eddie. All I could think about was how I just needed the pain to stop. I am so fucking sorry. I-I-I understand if you want to take a break or some time away from me while I deal with this. I just—”

Steve cuts you off by stepping over the contents on the floor and yanking you to his chest. 

“You’re doing it again, honey. You don’t have to face this alone. We’re here to help you every step of the way.”

“Just because we’re upset with you doesn’t mean we stopped loving you.”, Eddie added before wrapping his arm around you both. “I’m sorry, Steve. I really am.”

“I forgive you. It’s going to take some time but we can get this and become better together.”

“I love you both so much and I’m so sorry for scaring you. Even if it takes my whole life I’ll make it up to you.”, you pledge as your voice is slightly muffled by the chest in front of you.

“Baby, all we want is for you to be happy. That’s all we’ve ever wanted.” Nodding, you push your face into the metalhead’s warm embrace as Steve released the two of you to pick up the table and the mess he had made. “Y/N, you remind me a lot of my mother. You are beautiful, funny, and sweet almost to a fault but when we found you… you were unresponsive like her… My dad abandoned her long before she passed but I promise, sweetheart, we’ll be right here with you every step of the way. You’re not alone.”

After kissing your forehead, Eddie knelt down to help his friend and both boys exchange a small smile before you follow his decent to help to. 

“Oh, Y/N, we got this—”

“Together, Steve. Any kind of chaos or situation life throws our way we handle it together.”

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Hi! 🤗

Can you write something with Sirius where he has a daughter but she treats him coldly because when he went to Azkaban, her mother became depressed and throughout her growing up she had to watch her barely hold on, and pretends that everything is fine. and now he is trying to improve the relationship and it seems she is starting to open up but then a battle takes place in the department of mysteries. Sirius survives but his daughter is seriously wounded and she is sent to the hospital, meanwhile the world finds out that Voldemort has returned, and Sirius is finally found innocent, but everything What worries him is that his little girl is okay and he spends the day by her bedside and when she wakes up she calls him dad for the first time.

I'm sorry if it's too long

You can ignore it if you want to

Sorry to bother you

Love you 💜

Bye 👋

ahhhh, a good ol’ dad!sirius and daughter!reader…. takes a long drag of my cigarette a classic. if dad!sirius has no lovers then i am dead, especially if there’s a little angst involved

It’s hard to explain exactly why you dislike Sirius so much, but the resentment is most certainly there. Even the sight of him is irritating. Every time you see him you’re reminded of the days you spent trying to coax your mother out of bed, the evenings you attempted to clean the house because your mother was getting bad again and couldn’t do it herself, and all those nights you went to bed hungry because your mother was too physically and emotionally exhausted to cook dinner or go to the store.

Logically, you know it isn’t all his fault that your mother fell to pieces the way she did. She didn’t just lose her husband and the father of her child during the war, she lost several friends and her parents as well. And yet you can’t help but wonder how differently things could’ve been if he hadn’t gone after Peter that night. Even if your mother was still a mess, at least you would’ve had a father to try and pick up the pieces.

Living at Grimmauld Place was uncomfortable, to say the least. It was a lot of Sirius trying to converse with you, and a lot of you either ignoring him or answering with short and concise sentences.

It’s not that you want to be rude to him; it just feels uncomfortable to act otherwise. He’s practically a stranger that’s shown up out of nowhere and started trying to parent you.

It makes you wonder how Harry is so easily accepting of it. He connected with Sirius so quickly, and he even goes to him for advice over any inconvenience.

It’s mind boggling.

Sirius writes you once every couple of weeks, but you’ve yet to respond to any of his letters. You’ve read all of them, and you’ve even sat down and tried to write a response a few different times, but the words never came to you.

It feels impossible to make nice with a man who abandoned you when you were at your most vulnerable. Why should you bother to put any effort into Sirius when he’d never done a single thing for you throughout your entire life?

There were countless times you’d wished for your father’s help or guidance, but he wasn’t there to give it to you. He chose revenge over his family, and your entire family had to pay a price for his decision.

You think of your resentment for Sirius as you run around the Department of Mysteries. You wonder why you came rushed here with the others after learning that he may be in trouble.

There’s certainly no logic to it. There’s no rational reason why you’d risk expulsion (or worse) for a man whom you don’t even like. Father or not, you only met this man last year, and now you may die for him.

And the worst part?

Harry was wrong, and Sirius wasn’t in any trouble at all. So you won’t be dying for Sirius, or for any good reason at all for that matter.

You aren’t sure why, but as you narrowly avoid the heavy, crashing shelves holding hundreds of fortunes, you have more thoughts of your dad. You wonder if the Order has yet been made aware of your predicament.

You wonder how your dad will react to your death.

You run slowly behind Ginny, who has broken her ankle and needs to be assisted by Ron. You turn your head to make sure you're not being followed, and before you're able to react, you're hit with a knockback jinx.

You're sent flying backward into a wall; your vision blurs as your head makes contact with the cement.

Your head hurts, but you're pleasantly surprised with how comfortable you feel otherwise. Your hand feels warm, and as you open your eyes, you find it's being held between your father's hands.

He's quick to notice your awakening, and he leans in as he speaks, "(Y/n)! Merlin, how do you feel?"

Your mouth feels dry, your head fuzzy, and your vision very unclear. As he leans closer to get a better look at you, you turn your face away, scrunch your nose, and quietly mumble something along the lines of "Ew, dad. Your breath stinks..."

The bright light of the hospital room hurts your head. Squeezing your eyes shut, you don't see the relieved smile crossing Sirius's face. It's no surprise he smells bad; he hasn't left your side in three days.

And... you called him 'dad'. Not 'Sir', or 'Old man', or 'Sirius', but 'Dad'. He squeezes your hand and responds with happy, mild sarcasm, "Terribly sorry, dear. Are you in any pain?"

"My head hurts-" You pause mid-sentence, reality finally hitting you of where you are at the moment. You assumedly at St. Mungos, and Sirius is here with you. Despite the pain, you widen your eyes and stare up at him. "You shouldn't be here!"

He lazily waves you off, "It's fine, please don't waste your breath worrying over me."

You interrupt him, the pain getting worse in your head as you try to sit up. "Is it?! You being chucked back into prison wouldn't be 'fine'!"

Not wanting to overwhelm you with too much information, Sirius speaks calmly but firmly. "(Y/n), everything's alright. It's all been worked out; I promise you I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

You're not completely convinced, but you make no further arguments. Sirius places a hand on your shoulder and gently nudges you to lie back down. Sensing your worry, he repeats himself, "I'm not going anywhere. Everything and everyone are fine; you need to rest."

At Sirius's mention of 'everyone', you remember once more of everything that happened. You open your mouth to argue, and you start to push against your father's hand, but he remains firm. "(Y/n), lie down. Once more, everyone and everything is alright. I promise."

You lie back down, the throbbing in your head worsening with each new thought. You aren't sure if it's the pain or not, but you don't bother to question Sirius any further. If he says things are fine, then they're probably fine.

You use your hand to shield your eyes from the harsh lighting of the room, and you hear Sirius speak quietly, "I'm so relieved you're awake, (Y/n)."

Keeping your eyes shut and voice small, you rid yourself of your emotional guard and decide to be truthful. "...I was scared you were going to die."

"I was scared you were going to die," Sirius retorts calmly, "But I suppose now isn't the time to lecture you on the importance of safety. There will be plenty of time for us to talk later, for now, just rest."

You nod, feeling a bit like a little kid, and swallow the lump in your throat, "Okay, dad."