#Tellhound writes

[tellhound]

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Geraskier

Warnings: None?

Word count: almost 900

Also on ao3

How to shut up a bard

It's a late night and Jaskier can't sleep even though he's absolutely exhausted from the activities he did during the day. But his mind won't be quiet cause the person he's been stupid enough to fall for is just one room away.

At first it hadn't been too hard to ignore those feelings when they talked or hung out with each other. But time has made the love grow bigger with each passing day and he thinks he might just go insane if he doesn't tell Geralt how he feels. Even if it means he'll end up with a broken heart and possibly losing one of his best friends. Cause there's no way that Geralt feels the same. He's not even sure what the grumpy snowmans views are on same sex relationships. But he can't just go through each day anymore and just pretend that nothing has changed in his heart over the past few years.

He takes a deep breath to calm himself down before he stands up, walks over to the door leading to Geralt's bedroom and then he quickly gives it a knock before he has the time to change his mind.

"Jaskier? Is everything okay?" he can hear Geralt ask after a moment.

"No." he says honestly, silently cursing himself at how his voice is shaking. Everything is silent for a moment and then suddenly the door opens so he's standing face to face with the other man.

"Did something happen?" Geralt asks and Jaskier hates how concerned Geralt sounds. 

"I... Can I talk to you for a moment?" Jaskier asks. For a moment he almost hopes his friend will say no, cause this might be the most stupid thing he's ever been about to do and he's no longer sure if he actually wants Geralt to know anything.

"Yeah. Of course." Is the reply he gets. And before he knows it they're both sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea each in front of them. He's holding the cup in his hands, looking down at it cause this is possibly the worst idea he's ever had. Maybe he should just tell Geralt to forget it and go back to sleep.

"Jaskier?" He's not sure how much time has passed when Geralt finally says his name, but the tea that he still hasn't taken a sip from is no longer hot. "What did you want to talk about?"

Jaskier takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm his rapidly beating heart. It doesn't work, but it's now or never so he starts talking anyway. "I'm in love with you. I know you probably don't feel the same. Which is totally okay with me! But I can't keep ignoring this feeling anymore or I might actually go mad."

He's not really sure what he's saying after that, but he can't get his mouth to stop moving, cause if he does he might hear those words that will break his heart into a million tiny pieces and he's not sure he can handle that.

For a while Geralt just lets him ramble on and on and on, but he certainly didn't think the other man would stop him with a kiss. For a moment or two he just sits there stunned and then he starts kissing back eagerly after having waited for this for months.

Eventually they have to part for air and Geralt who's been leaning over the table sits back down with a grin. "If I had known earlier that a kiss could get you to shut up, I would've done it a long time ago." he says, then laughs at how Jaskier is actually speechless for what could be the first time in his life.

"So... Does that mean...?" Jaskier starts, but he can't bring himself to actually finish the question just in case this is some cruel joke from his friend. 

"That I love you too? Yes." Geralt reaches out and grabs one of Jaskier's hands with his own and kisses the back of his hand. "I've loved you for a while now actually."

"You should've told me." Jaskier says. 

"To be fair, my dear bard, you didn't tell me either." Geralt says with a wink before letting go of Jaskier's hand. "And no matter how much I would love to speak more about this I think we could do so after getting some sleep, don't you agree?"

All Jaskier can do is nod as they both get up from their chairs and Geralt places the mugs in the sink for now to take care of them in the morning and when he walks through the living room to get to his room he finds Jaskier lying on the couch again.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"What does it look like I'm doing? You're the one who said we should go to sleep." Jaskier answers before he yawns. 

"I thought that we could share my bed if you don't mind." 

"Oh. Oh yeah. Of course." Geralt can't help the smile on his lips as Jaskier gets up from the couch and before he can go anywhere Geralt grabs him by the waist and pulls him close to himself, gives him a kiss and then grabs one of his hands.

Together, hand in hand they walk to Geralt's room to share the bed.

Taglist (let me know if you want on/off) @luteandsword @dancingwiththefae

[actuallyitsstar]

NINE PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

OMG TYSM FOR TAGGING ME @liass-21 !!!!! i am so sorry i drafted this tag and i thought i queue'd it and i didnt so 😭😭😭 its only like a month late. its fine everythings fine. aaaaaa 😭

LAST SONG? - "photograph" by the midnight! it is on my writing-for-top-gun playlist bc it has huge maverick vibes lol.

FAVORITE COLOR? - pink!!!! also lighter purples and blues and most pastel shades <3 and black

CURRENTLY WATCHING? - a streamer i have never watched before playing the remaster of of tomb raider i-iii bc i am excited about the remaster!! and those games are my childhood <3 not to be a million years old or anything sakfhfjfhg

LAST MOVIE? - unfortunately it was 'oz the great and powerful' 😭 if any of y'all enjoyed that movie i respect it, but i had to see it on tv at a friend's house and we were having a great time laughing at the very unexpected writing and acting choices being made lol

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? - aaaaaaaa i guess savory ?????? but sweet has a special place in my heart ajdhfjfhfjg

RELATIONSHIP STATUS? - committed long term relationship to ~my person~ <3<3

CURRENT OBSESSIONS? - well this is gonna be obvious but top gun primarily !!!! additionally, dan and phil !! mission impossible !!! fall out boy!! and even if the current obsession level is not as high as other things, i am always at least partially obsessed with a hundred other things and people that i am probably posting about at the same time lol

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? - “oz the great and powerful reviews” bc i wanted to make sure that im not crazy and that other ppl also felt that movie was an insane fever dream (apparently due to the 44% on metacritic i guess they did lol)😭

tagging: aaaaaa @brambleberrycottage @daffodilstark @tellhound @torchflies @melancholydandelion @goosefilms @driftershunt @downthegenderriver @callsignstingray

[seidenbros]

🌹if you've got any more sentences you wanna reveal ♥️

Of course I do, and it's maybe a little bit to take the pain from the last sentence away ❤️

Who’d have thought that Steve Harrington was such a good singer? That he had a voice that went straight to Eddie’s heart?

[gabetheunknown]

Thanks for tagging me @mimi-mindless <3

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Could be argued to be named after the angel Gabriel, initially, but for me it's just a name that fits me best and nothing more

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

uuuuhhhh like yesterday probably? boi i am a cry baby, i'll cry about anything

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

I have a cat, and he is my child

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I lift weights low key? I don't really do sports nowadays. I did horse riding as a kid and gymnastics, but I've always fucking hated sports

I do really like ice skating though!

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

i wouldn't dare

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

I don't notice anything at all, my head's just filled with static noise for the first 5 minutes until the person mentions their interest....

guess the first thing I notice about people is their interests

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

uhhhh after a long debate on whether they're blue, green, or grey, I've decided to say all of the above

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

these are my two options? how about devastating endings that make you cry and wish you'd never felt something? (I don't really watch scary movies, but happy endings aren't always my jam either)

ANY TALENTS?

I don't have talents as much as I have a mighty need to be good at everything I do

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In the middle of a cult, in a farmers village in the Netherlands

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

I like hanging with friends, watching commentary youtubers, watching series, drawing, gaming, writing, crochet, cooking, baking, singing, makeup, too many things, man. Too many things

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

See: do you have kids?

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

181cm

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

As I am studying psychology right now, I guess, uh, psychology

DREAM JOB?

Therapist! fr, whatever kind I may become

Artist on the side, that would be awesome

Im gonna have to tag 15 whole people... Do I know 15 people? lets see: @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @tellhound @seidenbros @between-thepages @definitely-not-iorveth @books-andcoffee @fridgebaby @horsedadgeralt @deeplywornletters @karolincki and whoever is reading this and likes to be included :-) no pressure of course!

Blank copy for easier copy-pasting under the cut:

15 Questions for 15 Friends

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

ANY TALENTS?

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

DREAM JOB?

[dancingwiththefae]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @tellhound a few days ago. Look look, its the yennskier pirate au that I am finally actually writing. 

Rules: post a snippet of whatever you’re currently working on, no more than 300 words, and tag five other writers

She stepped away from Geralt and slowly approached the man on the floor.

“So what are you then,” she drawled, “an opportunist? A thief? A rat?”

His lank hair obscured his face as he remained fixed on the floorboards at his knees. The hands on his shoulders squeezed in warning when he did not reply.

“I am no one.” It was spoken so softly she almost didn't hear.

“A rat then,” she concluded.

She stood tall in front of him, peering down in disdain his thin frame, filthy clothes, his stillness. She tucked her sword under his chin and forced his head up. She almost let on her surprise when brilliant blue stared back at her, a hint of defiance shining through despite his utterly hopeless situation. She plastered on a cruel smile.

“So tell me, rat, what exactly do you think you're doing on my ship?”

A strained smile spread across the man's face. She would have called him handsome if it wasn't so insulting.

“Well, I have always been in awe of you.” The sarcasm dripped from his tongue. “I have always dreamed of being in the presence of the great Yennefer, witch of the sea.”

Either he knew exactly what he was doing or he was unashamedly stupid. Lowering her sword, she gave a look to Eskel. He gave a swift kick to the stomach. Quick, efficient, with little fanfare or enjoyment of what he was doing. The man doubled over with a wheeze. He barely had time to recover before the sword was back at his throat. He stilled instantly.

“Are you aware of the situation you're in, rat?”

Tagging: @snickety-lemons  @jesskier @wanderlust-t  @seidenbros  @amzngdevil

[luteandsword]

2, 7, 21, 25

CC, dearest, did I tell you how hot your icon is? Hot af. Thank you for your sweet ask xxx

These are from the poetry asks <3

2. when did you start writing poetry?

I think I started at age fourteen, or sixteen-- can't truly remember, because I used to have such bad anxiety it made most of my memories fuzzy.

what are some of your favourite words?

Rapacious, illusion, yearning, longing, mellifluous, sumptuous, scintillate.

21. do you find it easy to share your poems with others?

In comparison to having to share my poetry in a class versus on tumblr, I much prefer doing it online, anonymously. Though when I write poems for specific people, I get terrified that it's too much, and it's too visceral-- so that can be hard, but besides that, I like to share!

25. share a line from your favourite poem you've written.

I don't have a favorite poem I've written but this is a snippet I really like:

Silently drifting over the sunflowers,

The corpse caught on the stem and leaf and fell headlong into the abyss

of being in love.

I also like this one: But I have grown and I won’t jump in anymore into the cathartic choking of factual orgasm.

[tellhound]

Fandom: The witcher

Pairings: none

Characters: Jaskier, Yennefer, Geralt

Warnings: depression, anxiety, panic attacks

Words: 3.6k

Also on AO3

Also quick note before the story begins... This will only be the first part of a series. Future fics should hopefully answer some questions this fic might bring.

The Weight Of Living

"I know your secret, bard." The words take Jaskier by surprise and for a moment he stops petting Roach. His heart is suddenly beating fast. Too fast and he knows that the woman behind him can probably hear it.

"And what secret would that be, witch?" he answers, silently cursing himself at how nervous he sounds. No one is supposed to know. But of course it would only be a matter of time before anyone would figure out his "little" secret.

"I know about the nightmares. And I know how you keep drinking yourself to sleep." she says and he relaxes just a little, glad it wasn't the real secret. Because if he's completely honest it's not like he's been trying to hide the drinking or how he sometimes wakes up screaming from the nightmares that he so badly wishes would just disappear. He's beyond tired at this point. The only thing he wants is for it all to end. 

"You've been keeping your eyes on me then I assume." he says and he still can't quite control how his voice shakes when he speaks. "I don't like it."

"Let me help you." Her words take him by surprise and he finally turns towards the mage. But he doesn't stop petting Roach, because the feeling of her soft mane between his fingers is soothing and could possibly be the only thing keeping him from breaking down right there.

He's already exhausted from not getting enough sleep and from constantly being on edge around fires. There's no way he'll be able to stay strong much longer. Especially not if he's being confronted about it.

"Why should I trust you after everything you've done?" He already knows why. Knows she's saved him twice. Yes, the first time had been out of selfishness of wanting "everything" as she'd put it. The second time however... She'd been safe and could have so easily just left him to go to Cintra if she had wanted to. But instead she'd risked everything to save him. Not even to mention how she had sacrificed her own life just weeks ago to save Ciri and everyone else from Voleth Meir. He could only thank the gods that she was still here.

"I think you know why.'' He's not sure if she's just read his mind or not and even if she did he can't find it in himself to be mad about it. If anything maybe she could be able to make sense of the thoughts that keep running through his head whenever he's alone.

"What do you want in return?" He asks because he knows Yennefer, knows she rarely does things for others unless she can gain anything from it.

"Sing me a song." she says with a smile. The hand that's been petting Roach so far goes still. Can it really be true that the one and only Yennefer of Vengerberg wants nothing in payment except for him to sing for her? Surely he must have heard her wrong. "Just one song. That's all I want."

He turns to Roach again and buries his face in her mane as the thought of his lute lying broken somewhere on the docks in Oxenfurt enters his mind. Someone's probably taken it by now and have turned it into firewood or something. And what is a bard really without an instrument?

"Your idea of helping me doesn't involve magic, does it?" he asks her after a while. He doesn't quite want to admit it, but fire isn't the only thing that scares him after his run in with Rience. 

"No. I think this is something that can only be fixed by talking about it. I can, however, try to fix your hand with my magic if you want me to." 

"I... I don't..." he stops and takes a deep breath as he tries to figure out how to tell her that the thing he used to find so fascinating now scares him. He's glad he's still standing with his face in Roach's mane, cause he's not sure he'll be able to stop the tears that are threatening to spill at this point.

He hates how he flinches when he feels Yennefer laying one of her hands on his shoulder and just as quickly as it was placed there she removes it. "Sorry." she says. "I should've asked first if it was okay to touch you."

It's at this point that he turns towards her again and she looks softly at him. "It's fine. I just wasn't expecting it." he says just as the first tears start to fall.

Slowly she extends a hand towards him, giving him time to move away if he doesn't want this. But when he doesn't move she finally cups his face in her hand and softly rubs her thumb over his cheek as he leans into her touch. It's nice, he thinks. Because he doesn't remember the last time anyone touched him in this way. Only remembers all the times and the people that only used him for sex. Though to be fair he'd used them too. If only to feel the touch of someone else's hands on his body. Those hands had never been comforting. Not in the way that Yennefer's hand is bringing him comfort in that moment.

Without even thinking about it he steps forward and brings his arms up around her and buries his face in her neck as the tears continue falling. He used to hate the smell of lilacs and gooseberries that was always in the air whenever she was around. That same smell calms him now.

Yennefer doesn't even seem to hesitate when she hugs him back. "It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay." she says as he's shaking in her arms. She'd probably known for a while now that the bard was not okay. But there was no way she could have known just how easily he would crack when she decided to confront him about it.

He's not sure how long they just stand there when he can hear footsteps from someone approaching them and he tenses up against her, but makes no attempt at leaving the hug.

"There you are. I've been..." Geralt's familiar voice trails off behind them, probably shocked at the scene in front of him. "I'll... I'm gonna leave you two alone."

"Stay." Jaskier says as he looks up at the witcher. "If there's even a tiny part of you that ever cared about me... Please stay." his voice breaks on the last words.

"I'd stay forever if you asked me to." Geralt says and a moment later he's by their side, slowly rubbing Jaskier's back in a comforting way. It doesn't take long for one of Jaskier's hands to reach out and grab Geralt's wrist, almost as if he's scared the witcher is going to leave anyway if no one physically holds him back.

The three of them don't know how long they stay there, Jaskier crying, Yennefer whispering sweet nothings in his ear and Geralt rubbing his back before the bard releases them both and takes a step back before he uses his sleeves to wipe away the last remaining tears on his face.

"Sorry..." he says and looks down on the ground, ashamed of what had just happened. "I didn't... Sorry..."

"Never apologize for your feelings, Jaskier." Geralt says, sounding softer than Jaskier has ever heard him sound in the two decades they've known each other. For a moment he thinks that if something like this had happened before the mountain, Geralt would either have told him to suck it up or just left. Maybe both.

"I know. It's just... I'm just so tired. It's like we're all in the ocean and everyone's figured out how to swim except me. So I just keep flailing my arms in an attempt to stay above the water, but instead I just end up sinking down, down, down. And with every breath I take, my lungs just get filled with more water. Sometimes I think that maybe it would be better if I just... gave up and let the water completely consume me." he admits and once again he can feel his heartbeat speeding up with the anxiety he feels from so openly admitting what he's kept a secret for so long. 

Jaskier is not sure what he expects to happen next, but it certainly isn't Geralt hugging him so hard that he can barely breathe, almost as if the man is suddenly afraid that he'll lose the bard forever if he lets go. And honestly isn't that pretty much what he had just admitted could happen?

"What can we do to help you, Jaskier?" Yennefer asks and fuck when did people actually start caring about him?

"Maybe letting me breathe would be a good start." he half jokes, but it seriously is hard to breathe with how hard Geralt is holding him.

"Sorry." the witcher says as he lets him go and takes a step back.

"I don't think there's anything you can do, to be honest. I think this is something I have to get through alone."

"But you're not alone anymore, Jaskier. You have us now." Yennefer says and if only he could believe that. But it's been weeks since they got to Kaer Morhen and they've barely spoken to him since then. Though to be fair he's stayed out of their way on purpose a lot of the time, knowing they're busy with training Ciri and whatever else they've been doing.

"It's not like you can fight my monsters for me though."

"You're right. We can't do that." Geralt answers and Jaskier's heart immediately drops even though he already knew it was true. "But we can be here for you. We can listen to what you're going through and take some of the burden from your shoulders. And maybe then fighting those monsters won't seem as daunting anymore." hearing those words Jaskier starts crying again. 

"When did you get so good with words? Your vocabulary used to mostly consist of grunts that all meant different things." Or maybe you just never cared enough about me to use words. He knows that's not true though. Knows there were countless times Geralt could just have left if he had wanted to. And yet the witcher had always made sure to not walk faster than Jaskier could keep up with, taking plenty of breaks and making sure he always got a minimum of one meal a day. Not to mention all the times he'd saved the bard's life. Geralt had always cared. It had just been hard for Jaskier to see that after the mountain.

"Jaskier…" Geralt starts, thinking his words through to not say the wrong thing. "I had a lot of time to think once I started traveling the roads alone again and I realized I never treated you with the respect you deserve and that relationships can't function without proper communication. So I'm… I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for abandoning you. It's not gonna happen again."

There it is. The apology that Jaskier has been waiting for ever since Geralt came and rescued him from that cell in Oxenfurt and now that he's gotten it he's not really sure how to react. But he feels lighter, almost like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. "Thank you. Geralt, I…" he stops himself, for once being the one unsure of what words to use.

"What time is it?" He settles on asking instead. He's beyond exhausted from all the crying and sharing of his feelings. All he wants is to crawl into bed and not return to the world for a few weeks. Maybe a few months.

"It's late. Or very early depending on how you look at it." Yennefer answers his question. Jaskier had almost forgotten she was still in the stable with them. "If we're done with this conversation for now I'm going to bed."

"Good choice. You need all the beauty sleep you can get." He tells her, trying not to smile.

"You're one to talk. Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?" she answers without hesitating.

"Darling, I'm beautiful and you know it." he says as he winks at her. He’s not sure he believes it himself anymore, but if he lies enough then maybe it could become the truth.

Yennefer doesn’t give him a reply. Instead she just starts walking out of the stable but stope and turns back to the bard and the witcher when she realizes they’re not behind her. “Come on you two. It’s time for bed.” she says and then she starts walking again. To Jaskier's surprise Geralt grabs him by the hand and starts following her.

Neither of them say anything as they walk through the halls of Kaer Morhen to get to their rooms. But for once Jaskier doesn't mind the silence. It isn't making his thoughts spiral down to dangerous places this time. If anything he finds it hard to think about anything at all. Though to be completely fair that could just have been a result of all the sleepless nights he’d suffered through lately.

After a while they reached the hallway with everyone's rooms and Geralt led Jaskier straight by the bard's room and didn't stop until they were in front of his own.

"Geralt… we're not at some inn where we have to share a room. I have my own here." Jaskier says, thinking that Geralt must be a lot more tired than he looks to make a mistake like this.

"Sorry, I was just…" Geralt started but trailed off, unsure of exactly what to say. For once Jaskier stayed quiet to allow the witcher to gather his thoughts.

A moment later Geralt sighed before he started talking again. "When we used to walk the path together it was hard not to notice that you always seemed to sleep better those nights we were forced to share a bed. So I figured that if we shared a bed… maybe you'd actually get to sleep again."

Whoever said witcher's were heartless creatures had obviously never spent more than a minute with them.

"Geralt… I… Are you sure about this?" he asks, remembering how during the first couple years Geralt would sleep on the floor if there was only one bed in the room they shared and how he'd very reluctantly had started sharing the beds eventually with a warning to the bard to stay on his own side of it.

"You're my friend, Jaskier. Friends help each other." Geralt answered as he opened the door and led them into the room.

What happened next wasn't Geralt's fault. Not really. Because Jaskier hadn't actually told him what had happened in Oxenfurt before he'd ended up in jail. But as soon as his eyes fell on the fire that was burning brightly in the fireplace opposite to the bed it suddenly felt like there was no air left in the room

Some part of him knew it was ridiculous, that he was safe in Kaer Morhen and that the fire couldn't hurt him unless he himself walked over there and put his hand into the flames. But he still couldn't stop the tremors in his hands or how he was suddenly hyperventilating, frozen in place where he stood, unable to take his eyes off the flames because all he could think about was being back in that chair.

Geralt steps in front of him, blocking the view of the fire. The witcher's mouth is moving, but Jaskier can't make out a single word, everything sounding as if he's under water and he was never good at reading lips.

"I… I can't… breathe…" he says, managing to choke out as he's hyperventilating. Suddenly his legs buckle underneath him, but Geralt is quick and catches him before he can crash to the ground. And instead he's gently lowered down to the floor. Geralt shifts around a little to get more comfortable before he brings his arms around Jaskier's waist to pull the bard up in his lap.

Not even thinking about it Jaskier buries his face in Geralt's chest just as the tears starts streaming from his eyes and with the uninjured hand he clutches the front of Geralt's shirt so hard he'd be worried it would somehow break the fabric if the panic wasn't still coursing through his body.

It takes a while, but eventually he starts calming down, breathing is getting easier and he can hear the words Geralt is saying to him. "It's alright. You're safe. Everything will be just fine." For a fleeting moment Jaskier wonders if this side of Geralt had always existed and he'd just never gotten to see it or if it's something he's learned over the months they were separated after the mountain.

"Sorry…" he says eventually, loosening his grip on Geralt's shirt, but making no attempt at leaving his lap. "I'm sorry." Sorry I'm such a mess. Sorry you had to see me like this. Sorry I'm no longer the person you used to know. There's a lot of things he feels like he should apologize for, but there will be more time for that later. He's too tired and exhausted right now to put his thoughts into words.

He's almost dozed off there in Geralt's lap when said man carefully nudges him and says his name. "I think we both would be a lot more comfortable in bed." Jaskier wants to say no, tell Geralt that he's plenty comfortable where he is right now. But the witcher does have a point.

Slowly he gets up from the other man's lap and makes his way towards the bed, removing his coat as he does and letting it fall to the floor before he lies down. His back turned towards the fire. If he can't see it, it can't hurt him either.

A moment later Geralt walks up to him and removes his shoes before he places them neatly by the bed. Then he picks up the discarded coat to hang it on a chair.

A little while later Jaskier can feel the mattress dip on the other side when Geralt gets in it and lies down beside him.

"Jaskier."

"Hmm."

"Is it okay if I ask what happened? I've never seen you react that way to anything before." he thinks about Geralt's question for a while. Part of him wants Geralt to know everything that's happened since the mountain. But there's another part of him that knows the witcher will feel guilty about the kidnapping and the torture if he finds out the truth.

"It was the fire that triggered it." he turns around and looks Geralt in the eyes before he continues speaking. "I'm sure you've seen the burns on my hand by now. But I'll tell you all about that some other day."

"I've seen them, yes. I'm sure Yen could help you with that."

Jaskier lets out a bitter laugh at that. "Yeah, well… I'm not exactly fond of magic anymore either. But it's not like I have my lute anymore, so it really doesn't matter."

"Jaskier…" Geralt starts, but whatever he was going to say never comes. Instead the witcher moves closer to him and puts one of his arms on his waist and pulls the bard close to him. At first Jaskier tenses up at this. This was never what they used to do when they had shared a bed on the path. But Geralt is warm and with his arm around him he actually feels safe for once so it doesn't take long before he shifts just a little to lie more comfortably before he lets all his guards down and relaxes. 

They don't say anything more after that. It doesn't take long before Jaskier can feel himself starting to drift off. But before he does there is a knock on the door and Geralt lets out a displeased grunt. Whoever it was at the door opens it anyway.

"Yen? What are you doing here?" Geralt asks quietly.

"Sorry it's just…" she trails off and sighs before she starts speaking again. "I still can't fully control my powers when I'm tired and Jaskier was thinking so loudly a while ago that I just couldn't tune it out and… I guess I just couldn't sleep without seeing that he's okay." she answers honestly and just as quietly as Geralt had done, probably thinking the bard was asleep. "But I can see that he is so I'm just gonna go back to my own bed." She says.

Before she gets the chance to leave though, Jaskier stops her. "Stay." he says. He can't deny that he feels safe with her and the bed is big enough for all three of them if they really squeeze together.

"I'm sorry. What?" she asks, not quite believing what she's just heard.

"Stay." it's more of a mumble this time. Cause he's not really sure how much longer he'll actually be able to stay awake. "If Geralt doesn't mind."

"I don't mind." the witcher answers almost immediately. Jaskier can hear Yennefer closing the door before she walks over to the bed and lies down behind Jaskier. For a moment she just lies there, but eventually she moves closer and throws one arm and a leg over the bard and he lets out a sigh of contentment.

Jaskier knows that there's still a lot of things the three of them need to talk about and figure out, but laying there between the witcher and the mage Jaskier feels more safe than he ever has in his life and it doesn't take long before he drifts off into a deep sleep without any nightmares.

___________

Taglist (let me know if you want on/off it): @luteandsword and @seidenbros I'm tagging you this time since this is the fic I've shown you plenty of lines from

[tellhound]

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Jaskier/Valdo Marx

Warnings: none?

Words: Less than 1k

Also on AO3

"Please don't go." Jaskier practically begged as he watched Valdo get dressed. "It doesn't have to be this way anymore."

He knows that it doesn't matter what he says. The other man never stays. Doesn't mean he's not gonna try though. They're both older now, more mature and he hopes with his whole heart that Valdo is tired of this too.

"You know I can't." Valdo answered and for the first time since this whole thing started years ago he looks like it actually pains him.

"Is it because you're scared of what people will say about us?"

"It's not just that, Jaskier." Valdo says and for the first time since he got out of bed he turns to look at the man in it. "If people find out about us we could both lose what we've worked so hard to achieve. And I know how much it means to you."

Valdo wasn't wrong. Jaskier had been looking for fame ever since he was little and after years of trying and plenty of failures most people anywhere he goes now knows how he is and the lyrics to his songs.

A long time ago he thought that it could've made him happy, but fame hadn't managed to fill that empty void inside of him. The only times it felt like something wasn't missing in his life was the few moments he got to spend with Valdo. 

"I don't care about that anymore. All I want is you. It's always been you. Just took a while for me to figure it out." It's scary being this honest with someone. But nothing will ever change between them if they can't be honest with each other.

Valdo doesn't say anything. Instead he walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge of it, looking out at the room they're in. 

After a long moment of silence Jaskier can't take it anymore. "If you still want to leave, I won't stop you. If not, please just say something. I don't know how much more my heart can take."

"I love you." Valdo suddenly blurts out, taking Jaskier by surprise. "I always have. Probably always will. So if you're 100 percent sure that this is what you want… then I'll never leave your side again."

Jaskier took a deep breath to calm himself down before he asked Valdo to look at him. When he did there were tears in the other man's eyes and in that moment Jaskier understood just how hard this must have been for Valdo too.

"I told you. I want this. I've never been more sure of anything in my life." he reached out a hand and cupped Valdo's cheek and watched as he closed his eyes, a lone tear slipping out. Jaskier wiped it away with his thumb and let go.

A moment later Valdo opened his eyes again and got up from the bed. Without a single word he left the room and closed the door.

Jaskier hadn't been sure how he expected the conversation to end. But he definitely couldn't have imagined it like this; alone and abandoned once again. Especially not after Valdo had said that he wanted the same things as Jaskier did.

He got out of the bed and started getting dressed as tears slowly made their way down his face. He shouldn't have said anything, should've just kept quiet for once. But at least now he knew not to let Valdo seduce him again if their paths ever crossed in the future. He wouldn't be able to deal with his heart breaking yet again over the same man that had crushed it so many times before.

Just as he was about to grab his lute and head outside the door opened and Valdo stepped inside.

For a moment they just looked at each other, both unsure of what to do. But then Valdo walked over to him and enveloped him in his arms.

"I thought you suddenly changed your mind." Jaskier admitted quietly. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I was just going down to rent the room for another day. I should've said something."

"Yeah. You should have." Jaskier said before stepping out of Valdo's arms and wiping away the tears with the sleeves on his shirt. "But I guess this means you'll stay?"

"Oh, darling, I have no intention of ever leaving you again." Valdo said with a grin and then he started pushing Jaskier towards the bed. 

"You're gonna need to do a lot more than that to make it up to me, you know." Jaskier said just as he was pushed down on the bed and knowing what seemed to be in store for him it was hard to stay angry.

"And I know just how to start."

------

Taglist (let me know if you want on/off it): @luteandsword @dancingwiththefae

[tellhound]

So... This fic is actually something I wrote and uploaded on my fanfiction(dot)net profile almost a decade ago. And I swore to myself to not re-upload any of my old fics. But reading through some of them again I realized I actually really like this one, so here it is.

Fandom: Merlin

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur

Warnings: depression

Words: less than 1000

Also on AO3

---------

"I can't do it anymore. I just can't. Everyone tells me that everything will be okay, but when is that? Lately everything just keeps getting worse." The young man said with tears streaming down his face. "I can't even get a rest from it all when I'm sleeping, because of the things I dream about. It's just too much." A pair of arms wrapped around him as he buried his face in that person's chest.

"I'm sorry." Was all the other person could say.

"I just wish I could cease to exist." The young man said after a while, tears were still falling freely.

"I don't want to see you dead." The other one said truthfully.

"I don't want to die. I just don't want to exist for a while. And then I could start existing again when life is better. Yeah, that would be nice."

"Life doesn't work that way. You just have to hold on and one day when you wake up you'll see that everything is fine, that you're happy again. Whether it's tomorrow or 10 years from now, that day will come. I can promise you that."

"Can you? I mean, what if my life just keeps getting worse? What if it never gets better? So much has happened these past few months that I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. It feels just like... Like I'm drowning. It's tiring you know." The tears had now stopped, but he still felt like his whole world was falling apart.

"Merlin." The person holding him said. "I can't even begin to understand how you feel, but you are not alone. I will always be here for you. Just like I always have. I know I haven't always treated you the way you deserve and I know some of my words have really hurt you, but that is in the past. This is now and I will never treat you like that again and I will do whatever I can to help you out of this."

"But can't you see? There's nothing you can do. There's nothing that will make things alright again. Not unless you can give me back the people I lost. None of them deserved to die. Not for me." He was crying again.

The other person wanted to say something so badly, but knowing there was nothing he could say he just kissed Merlin on the top of his head. "Arthur?" The young warlock said with a whisper.

"Yes, Merlin?" He answered.

"Do you really think everything will be okay?"

Arthur smiled and said: "I don't think so. I know so." The young prince kissed his servant on the lips before saying: "We'll get through this together, okay?" Merlin nodded.

Maybe it wasn't okay right now, but he believed that Arthur was right. And with Arthur by his side everything had to be okay sooner or later.

Taglist (let me know if you want on/off it): @luteandsword

[tellhound]

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Past Steddie

Warnings: the f-slur is used once, no happy ending, Steve has bad parents

Words: 1.4k

Also available on AO3

It feels weird sitting there alone on a bench in the park when he doesn't usually go there. And that's exactly why he's there. Steve loves the little shit heads he's come to consider his family over the years, but on this particular day he just won't be able to handle being in several places at one time.

He thinks he was supposed to drive Dustin and Lucas somewhere, but they've both got their own cars and drivers licenses at this point. They can drive themselves.

And he'd promised Max, El and Mike to take them to the cinema to watch some new movie that just came out. He'll have to apologize to them later for not keeping that promise.

He thinks he had some plans with Robin and Vickie too, but they'll be just fine without him. 

The sun is shining in the sky and from the playground he can hear children laughing as they chase each other with their parents watching over them and talking to each other.

The air is hot and he knows that the responsible thing would be to move over to an area that's under shadows from some of the trees, but maybe if he stays in the sun long enough the cold feeling in his heart will slowly start to turn warm again.

A mother and her son walk by him, holding hands and eating ice cream. He tries to remember if he's got any memories of doing something as simple as that with either of his parents only to come up empty.

He leans back, looks up at the sky and tries to blink back the tears that are suddenly threatening to fall. It's not that he's scared of crying (despite his father always telling him that real men don't cry), but it would just be embarrassing to cry in front of other people.

By the time he stops looking at the sky he can see a familiar figure approaching. He'd recognize those long, dark, curls, anywhere. And if not there's not that many people in the town that wear ripped jeans and band shirts with some band that Steve has never heard of before.

Eddie is carrying two travel mugs that most probably contain coffee and he silently hands one over to Steve before sitting down beside him.

For a while they just sit there in silence drinking their coffees before Steve finally breaks the silence. "How did you know I was here?"

"Because I know you." Eddie starts. "I know this is the place you always go to when you need to think. Our friends would never think of looking for you here."

"Why are you here if you know I want to be alone?" The words come out harsher than he intends them to be, but he's just so tired and all he wants is just one day alone to make some sense of the thoughts in his head.

The silence settles between them again and by the time Eddie answers the question their travel mugs are almost empty. "I'm worried about you. And I just needed to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not… I'm not okay. Not right now." he admits, knowing Eddie wouldn't believe him if he said anything else.

"Wanna talk about it?" Steve knows he can say no and ask Eddie to leave, knows it would hurt the other man and for a fleeting moment he seriously thinks about it. But that would only lead to fighting and yelling in the end.

"We broke up, Eddie." He says and looks over at his ex for the first time since he sat down beside him on the bench. "And I don't know how you feel, but it fucking hurts to still have to see you each and every day when we hang out with all our friends. But it's not like I'm gonna ask you to stop hanging out with us or stop hanging out with them myself. I just need some time to get over us."

This time when the tears threaten to fall he doesn't bother trying to stop them. Eddie's seen him cry a million times before anyway and by now all the other people in the park are forgotten.

Eddie reaches out his hand like he wants to brush the tears away, but stops himself and grabs his travel mug again instead. He knows that if they weren't in public Eddie probably would've wiped the tears away and pulled him in for a hug and just held on for as long as it would take for the tears to stop falling. It hurts that he doesn't. 

"It would've ruined us both in the end if we had stayed together. All that fighting, all the yelling… It wasn't healthy. I guess part of me was hoping that maybe this way we could at least stay friends." Eddie admits cause they didn't actually talk much about the reasons why when Eddie had told Steve that they should break up. 

They shouldn't be having this conversation in such a public place, but Steve doesn't think there's anyone in town that still don't know about how he got thrown out of his parents house for being a "fucking fag" as his father had so kindly put it. And he thinks the only reason no one's dared touch either him or Eddie since then is because they're friends with police chief Jim Hopper.

"It doesn't work like that. Yeah, sure I can act civil to you when we're all together, but do you really think we'll be sharing our secrets and feelings with each other again like we used to? Or that I'll call you in the middle of the night when I can't calm down from another nightmare or whatever?"

Eddie turns his head towards the children in the playground at this point, and with the way his voice shakes when he answers it's not hard for Steve to figure out why. "I don't know what I was expecting to be completely honest. Maybe I just miss my best friend." 

Steve still remembers the first time Eddie had called him his best friend. They'd both been high as fuck at the point, watching some movie that he couldn't remember the name of or even what it was about. He'd been way too busy staring at the other man's lips and thinking about how much he wanted to kiss him.

Eddie had looked at him after a while and smiled at him. "You know I love you right?" the metalhead had then said and Steve would be lying if he said it hadn't taken his breath away.

"You… you do?" he'd managed to ask after he'd been quiet a little too long while his brain was short-circuiting.

"Of course I do. You're my best friend."

Steve had been so disappointed, but had told Eddie he felt the same before turning back to try and focus on the movie again. He really was an idiot for thinking that Eddie could love him in any other way than as a friend.

It hadn't been a lie when he'd told Eddie he was his best friend too. Cause truth be told he probably knew just as much about him as Robin did at that point and he never really hesitated to talk to Eddie about things.

Now though he wished that best friends had been all they ever were, cause maybe then they wouldn't be in this mess.

"Trust me when I say that he misses you too." Steve said as he looked down on the travel mug in his hands. "And I hope that one day we can become that again. But it's not just gonna happen overnight."

"Yeah. I guess not." The metalhead answered and it broke Steve's heart all over again to hear how sad he sounded.

Neither of them said anything more after that. There was nothing left to say. Not at that moment at least.

Once Steve's tears had dried he placed the travel mug on the bench between them and stood up, not ready to face his friends again, but he knew he shouldn't ignore them any longer.

"I guess I'll see you around, Eddie." he said and walked away from the metalhead, never turning to look back at him. Just like he'd done that afternoon just a couple weeks earlier when Eddie broke up with him

Walking away this time didn't hurt any less.

-----

Taglist (let me know if you want on/off): @dreamsoffilm @dancingwiththefae

[gabetheunknown]

Tagged by @definitely-not-iorveth thank youuu

first and last lines

Rules: go through your last 5 fics and share the first and last line. No context.

hhhoooo boy here we go then

Thin Ice

Ever since they arrived in Vergen, Geralt had been distracted and Iorveth couldn’t figure out why. And after that? Nothing else. Just light snoring, after which he fell asleep himself soon as well, snuggled against his witcher.

Dangerous games

It was widely known that Jaskier was an open book. They're definitely using this thing again. 

I'm going to be the one

Geralt came home after the stupidest job of all that week. His life luckily started being a little less ordinary.

And his smile shines brighter than the sun

It's Thursday. “You’re joining me.” He says louder now and that’s when Geralt shoots up from the couch and follows him into the bathroom. 

Watch me burn (I cheat! This is a WIP that already has an ending scene)

I noticed that I started traveling alone more and more at the time, and it even started to suit me better than I expected, very soon. And with a flick of his fingers, he set the pile of wood aflame.

ashjdsgdah that is the funniest tag game ever, thank you

No pressure tags: @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky, @tellhound, @seidenbros, @dancingwiththefae I'm not sure you all write, but I'm tagging you anyway <3

[seidenbros]

Tag some mutuals you want to get to know better

Thank you so much for tagging me @flexispartan 💚💚

Favorite time of the year : Autumn. Because I love when it isn't that hot anymore, I love getting out the sweaters and see the world change colour. (I love winter as well, but since we don't really get snow here OR we get -20C all of a sudden)

Comfort food : Potato Salad with my grandma's recipe and Schnitzelchen

Favorite dessert : Strawberry Tiramisu or Ice-cream

Things you collect : Funko Pops figures (and tattoos, if that counts)

Favorite drink : Non-alcoholic - Spezi  Alcoholic - Frozen Strawberry Daiquir

Favorite musical artist : Bruce Springsteen, Queen, The Amazing Devil, Rea Garvey, Johannes Oerding (so many more honestly)

Last song you listened to : The New Roses - Every Wild Heart

Last movie you watched : The Hobbit - Battle of the Five Armies

Last series you watched : Rings of Power

Series you’re currently watching : Stranger Things (again to go along with my rewrite of Season 4)

Current obsession : Apparently my Steve Harrington cosplays 🥲 and writing more fanfiction than ever before

Dream place to visit : New Zealand, Ireland, Boston

A place you’ve been that you want to go back to : Australia

Something you want : a better sleep schedule because mine's fucked up. And I want the 19th of September so I can finally go to my tattoo appointment

Currently working on : Part 5 of my Promises Series

No pressure tags: @tellhound @dreamsoffilm @gabetheunknown @amzngdevil @ashyyboyy @littlelovelylou @samlealea @sweetpeapod

[gabetheunknown]

Thank you @tellhound for tagging me <3<3

Appearance

Blonde hair //I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles// I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationship

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated a best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep //I enjoy thunderstorms// I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

No pressure tags: @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @books-andcoffee @mimi-mindless and whoever wants to do this, I never know who to tag ;v;

[seidenbros]

Thanks for tagging me @littlelovelylou 💚

Fav color: green/turquoise

Currently reading: Guess the first Witcher book is still on my nightstand, but I'm not really reading it atm

Last song: The Gaslight Anthem - Handwritten

Last series: Devil in Ohio

Last movie: Spaceballs

Currently working on: Deciding whether I want to start the Eddie fic I thought about two days ago with the star constellation tattoo or write something else first

No pressure tags as always: @writingmysanity @tellhound @dreamsoffilm @jesskier @adrihelle

[gabetheunknown]

I posted 4,619 times in 2022

That's 4,617 more posts than 2021!

209 posts created (5%)

4,410 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tellhound

@i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky

@mimi-mindless

@didelidocus

@in-a-slanted-outhouse

I tagged 4,308 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#the witcher - 394 posts

#funny tag - 364 posts

#art - 343 posts

#jaskier - 248 posts

#our flag means death - 238 posts

#stranger things - 192 posts

#ofmd - 184 posts

#geraskier - 145 posts

#cats - 133 posts

#fanart - 115 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

55 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

#4

Oxenfurt Academy

      Among its more famous alumni are Shani and Dandelion The former went on to become the dean of the Faculty of Medicine and Herbology, while the latter studied the seven liberal arts, graduating with summa cum laude honors. Dandelion went on to lecture at the institution many years after his graduation.

The witcher Geralt also attended some lectures at the university, such as astronomy.

*sobs*

I couldn’t get over this, man. I had to draw it out. 

I haven’t done a lot with art since 2015 so be nice <;3 

98 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#3

T h e m

Based on the modern AU that I’m writing, and also because I wanted to practice drawing poses :-)

Click for better quality &lt;3

145 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#2

Modern day Geralt exclusively calling Cirilla by her full name when he’s around Jaskier because Jaskier has a stupid Iphone and Geralt is super done with Siri constantly telling him “I’m sorry I didn’t get that”

239 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just watch the show for Joey Batey, actually

310 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[seidenbros]

Last Line Game

Thaaank you so much for tagging me @tellhound

Rules;; Write the last line in your latest WIP and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence. Make a new post!

“You...” Jaskier sneered as soon as Geralt entered the interrogation room, though he couldn't deny that his own heart was picking up its pace again upon seeing the Detective, “I hope your friends told you to look after my plants, since there's actually nobody else.”

It's from my Hacker AU and as you can tell, Jaskier is very worried about his plants, but it's also a distraction so that he won't think about the situation he's in

Tagging: @witchersgoldenbard @horsedadgeralt @writingmysanity @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @smolalienbee @resident-lambert-hoe @karolincki @lambden @jesskier and everyone else, who wants to do it (and no pressure to the ones I tagged <3)