#The thing is as real and true as normals ending in s2 is to me it also makes me sick to my stomach thinking abt it

[rooolt]

guy who thinks about lark and sparrow for two single seconds and falls to the floor sobbing screaming crying

[audiblehush]

Okay, so post-P1 trailer, the thing I’m MOST excited about for is Colin and Penelope’s ACTUAL friendship!

Because while Colin has always viewed Penelope as a genuine a friend, she has always had the added lense of “I’m in love with you,” and that changed the way she interacted with him.

But now, to Penelope, Colin has essentially closed the door on him ever seeing her in a romantic light, both with his end of S2 words AND their “friends” handshake in S3. “Okay,” she probably thinks, “that dream is dead but friends. I can do friends.”

But what this opportunity does is this give us Penelope functioning in this friendship as an ACTUAL friend, and not just “yes sure friends but I can’t get the heart out of eyes enough for it to be truly genuine because I’m wearing a mask so you like me” - That didn’t make her a bad person; it made her a girl with a strong crush worried about his view of her; it’s normal! But it also obviously led to her putting on airs around him, while also having him on a pedestal and not seeing him as a fully realized person.

But these “lessons” allow for them to be around one another without expectation. That scene of them giggling in the ballroom like dorks, as if no one else was around them??

ABSOLUTE PERFECTION!!!!

Colin will begin to see Penelope as a true friend because she’ll LET him; she’ll drop her guard enough to be real instead of trying to impress him all the time. THAT is (hopefully) when Colin starts to realize his feelings: because Penelope will finally be her authentic self… while feeling more confident because of her new wardrobe. He’ll be attracted to her new confidence, and her ACTUAL personality she’s letting him finally see, not just her physical glow-up (the candle symbolism!!!!).

COLIN will now have heart eyes for her, and maybe the one to have her on a slight pedestal… only for the LW reveal to happen and shake his world… letting us see his hurt, his anger, his worry…

Once they work through all that is when these two see each other for who the other REALLY is, flaws and all, fighting to grow individually, as a friendship, as a COUPLE… and choose each other every time.

THAT. IS. MY. JAM.

I still have my concerns about the season. I do NOT want Colin only realizing his feelings once some other guy pays her mind. I NEED him to already be struggling with and analyzing his feelings before Debling get involved. If I had to guess, it will be more than Colin is like “okay, I’m pretty sure I have feelings for Penelope, but how do i know for SURE when I’ve thought that before?” (thanks S1…) … but then Debling comes along looking for a wife, and Colin is suddenly between rock and a hard place because now he has a sort time limit to sort through really complicated feelings.

Violet says “ what more could SHE want?” mostly likely about Penelope and Debling, because Debling is wealthy, titled, and has strong interests and beliefs he is committed to (based on his promo info, anyway). This has already been an insecurity of Colin’s since S1. He’s a third son (with wealth, yes), but he has been searching for “his purpose” for ages now; it’s all over S2 how lost he is and how that frustrates him. His family tends to tolerate him at best and kind of ridicule him at worst, and so he flits by being easy-going and “charming” when he just wants to know who is and be accepted for it. So Violet says all this and Colin says “but you said friendship is the best foundation” and she tells him to follow his heart.

But that’s the problem: Colin struggles to KNOW HIS OWN HEART, and not just romantically! So I just want to know how much of his feelings for Pen has he grappled with at that point? How much exploration outside of his Pen stuff has he done regarding his own person? Because he IS a person outside his relationships, but HE doesn’t feel that way.

EDIT: Also, ALSO Yes, Colin is hyping pen up, but I want her to hype HIM up once she sees that he’s not as confident as he acts. She’s seen glimpses of that in S2, but S3 can let her be like “actually, you are AMAZING…” and without romantic intentions, just her telling her friends he has so much to offer the world.

I’m also scared Penelope will make some awful choices (Nicola hinted at this in interviews) and like, i get it we need conflict, but my poor heart can only take so much…

At the end of the day, it’s all speculation. It’s so hard to say with how trailers are cut, and I know they can’t include it all, and most people are here for the romance so that is what they would lean into… so I’m really trying to avoid doom-theorizing, or even getting attached to things I WANT to happen. We won’t know until it’s out, so I’m just trying to contain both feelings of nervousness AND excitement.

I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH, YOUR HONOR!!!!

[negrowhat]

what are your top ten fav bl's of all time?

Hey Anon! I had to take some time to think about this. It's hard for me to choose things like this! You're really putting me on the spot lol. Here we go tho...I might cheat a little.

To My Star. Both 1 and 2. I love Seo Joon's and Ji Woo's story. I love their relationship dynamic. I loved how protective they were of each other. Both Ji Woo and Seo Joon are complex characters with layers that you can really bite into and analyze many ways. I know a lot of people were not fans of s2 but that was one series where I truly ate up the angst. Ji Woo is a hard character to understand unless you really take the time to watch the series and focus on his behaviors. You'll never, ever catch me talking bad about TMS.

Gameboys the Series. Both the seasons and the movie. CaiReel have such a modern and relatable love story. I think it being a series about finding relationships in the middle of a global pandemic while we were ALL sharing the same plight really stood out. I felt like I made new friends while watching that series. Also for s1 to be shot completely on an iPhone and for most of the actors to not actually be filming their scenes at the same time, I was BLOWN away by the quality AND chemistry. That series made me SOB and that is also something I consider impressive. If it can make me cry then it's certified gold.

Utsukushii Kare. Both seasons and the movie. This is another series with complex main characters. Hira deals with his general uninterest in damn near everything EXCEPT Kiyoi and photography. And Kiyoi deals with his need for attention even if he generally doesn't like people because they always disappoint him. It's interesting to see how they handle their seemingly unbalanced relationship. Hira is willing to give Kiyoi all the love he requires and not get close (which is normally what Kiyoi wants) and Kiyoi learns that with Hira he wants a real true love and relationship and that's quite a task when the man you love doesn't value himself. It's just interesting seeing the growth between them.

Color Rush S1. I love the way they tackle the soulmates trope, and explore the darker side to the obsession that could happen once you find your perfect match ESPECIALLY when that match can help you see a full picture. Yeon Woo struggles with a myriad of thoughts and fears as he does his best not to get close to Yoo Han even though Yoo Han is serving up himself on a silver platter with tantalizing promises of helping him learn the colors he craves to see. Yeon Woo becomes obsessed, but little does he know that Yoo Han is also obsessed because Yeon Woo also helps Yoo Han see a clearer picture. But maybe that obsession is really just them falling in love and not knowing what to call it.

Moonlight Chicken. Messy and relatable to a person like me who is smack dab in the middle of the age groups involved. This series really showcases how messy romances can be. It shows how hard it can be to close the door to a chapter you thought would end happily. This series shows how hard it can be to move on when a normally open door shuts in your face suddenly and forever. It shows how a chapter that starts off terrible can lead you into the most thrilling moment of your life. It shows that the last chapter you finished might have you TERRIFIED to move on to the next one. Stuck. This was a series I found difficult to dislike any of the characters even if they were being terrible. Emotions were high and reactions were warranted. This was a series where I felt like people were allowed to feel the way they were feeling.

We Best Love. Yes, both seasons. Shu Yi and Shi De had such an up and down ship. Shi De went through such a roundabout way to get close to Shu Yi and I really enjoyed watching them become friends. I enjoyed watching Shu Yi come to realize he was in love. I wanted to beat Shi De up in s2 for ghosting Shu Yi and I was enjoying watching Shu Yi get his lick back, but really he was just looking for answers so he can decide if he was stupid for wanting to forgive Shi De the moment he saw him again. It's another fun and messy series.

Lovely Writer. I LOVE Gene ok. He really made me love the series because he was such a bomb ass character. I also found Nubsib's psycho/stalkerish tendencies quite entertaining because he was so polite about it. I love that the series took stabs at all the things wrong with the BL community while simultaneously having the main character be an actor in one of the most toxic fake BLs I've ever seen. Just meta on top of meta. Satire in the form of a trendy BL within a BL.

History 3: MODC. Salt run aside, I just really loved this series. Can't believe a series about the shy kid falling in love with his bully is a fave. That sentence alone would make it problematic af...not to mention the questionable age gap between the 2nd couple. But it was beautifully constructed. Hao Ting found the best version of himself in Xi Gu and Xi Gu found a brighter side to life with Hao Ting. And they were WAYYYYY into each other and Hao Ting did put in his work to be forgiven. I do my best not to overthink Zhi Gang's age difference from Sun Bo because it's such a norm in Taiwanese BL. It's kind of interesting to see their relationship play out. Zhi Gang definitely has his hangups with the age gap and Sun Bo just doesn't care.

Blueming. Such a laid back series. Si Won is just a sweetheart dealing with self-esteem issues trying to make his presence known in life so he can get the best out of his university experience. And Da Un is just that effortlessly cool guy Si Won strives to be like. He can't even fathom the idea of such a cool guy having a crush on him that he takes the flirting as arrogance lmao. I think it's sweet that Da Un helps uplift Si Won and I think it's sweet that Si On showed Da Un the attention he never got at home.

Ingredients the Series. Just a sweet lil slice of life miniseries. It fills me with joy to watch Tops and Win pine after each other as Win works on his music and Tops works on his cooking and they live together symbiotically. There's not too much to this series. It relies heavily on food and chemistry and that's perfectly perfect for me.

[lynmars79]

About Imelda Goldfinch

Looking back over episodes, transcripts, and the wiki as a friend experiences Midst for the first time, I keep coming back to Imelda.

She "mistook" Weepe for the Mayor of Stationary Hill when they bumped into one another (literally) in S1 E5 "Missions". She spends the rest of S1 pester-courting Weepe into the Trust, starts him at Zero, and then grants him enough Valor to become Upper Trust for the Cabaret betrayal. She makes sure he gets off Midst in the Consector's flagship.

In S2 she continues her Weepe project, showing him around the city, introducing him to people, accompanying him to Upper Trust meetings. And then the Arca, S2 E13 "Inside." Where she uses her zealousness to torment Weepe until he (outwardly) acquiesces to her.

She knew about his condition, and his medical treatment. In detail. Cameras aren't that advanced in this cosmos, and Weepe keeps that knowledge quite secret; Saskia knew after four years as Weepe's business partner, and being noted as perceptive. When and how did Imelda find out, enough to gauge a normal day's risk (if not enough to know what happens when Weepe gets excited/stressed)?

In S3 she is front and center at the naming of Weepe as Tripotentiary. She automatically becomes his Archauditor, a minimal show made of having to create the position and choice to fill it over brunch. She attends high end meetings like the dinner with Kozma, where Imelda makes interesting notes on her menu (per the appendices) about what Weepe does and doesn't like, among her other notes and reactions.

Then we get to S3 E9 "Baron."

And I have to wonder: Did Imelda "mistake" Weepe in S1 when they met? Was she there not just because of the Breach investigation and/or Moon sale, but for him? Does she know, or at least suspect, who Weepe was before his first Fold-induced transformation and the salvation from the Mothers?

Imelda is a character that fascinates me, and is a bit frightening when thinking about her. She gives some of the same vibes as HP's Dolores Umbridge, but with the caveat that Imelda seems to be a True Believer in the Trust--while also being extremely driven and ambitious. We saw in her Notary prep school yearbook that she had Caenum as a girl (with the note "most likely to Break Even"). When we meet her, middle-aged, she's wearing a wide sash of Valor and regularly rubs shoulders with the Upper Trust.

It took Fuze Peabody his entire working life to Break Even by retirement (and given Lark's past, they start working rather young in the Trust; no child labor laws in the Highest Light I suppose, for those in debt). Most Trustees never reach Zero; it's why so many Breach.

And so much of Imelda's recent Valorous momentum has been due to her maneuvering of Weepe. Of the things she has done with, for, and to him.

Did she gun for Jonas Spahr being removed as Prime Consector? Was it convenient, or targeted? Disdain for the Company or just a way to maneuver Weepe into power? And why? Did she see the incompetence at the top and think it could be better? One of her menu notes is re-starting Valor checks for Upper Trust and other important meetings. Did the Fleit scandal make her think change was needed? Does she think Weepe can get her what she wants when the rest of the Upper Trust cannot?

What does she know? Why is she doing all this? Personal power? Grandiose zealotry? Revenge? A little of everything? Is Imelda the real mastermind and arch villain?

I dunno, and that last may be a bit silly (??) but something is going on with this woman, and she stands somewhere near the heart of this tangled web.

"He's totally fucked" the Narrators say of Weepe when he bumps into Imelda that first time. That's certainly been true in many ways--and I don't think it impossible that it will continue to be, with Weepe maybe not expecting the damage this scarily cheerful little lady with Pollyanna curls can still do to him before the end.

For the good of the Trust.

[robynrocksforbrains]

What do you think about the whole Mike was only so protective of Will in S2 because El was gone thing? Do you think he’s going to ignore Will again in S5 and be super focused on El? I’ve seen recent discourse about this and it’s making me sad.

Anon, full disclosure I haven't seen this discourse recently. But I'm gonna take your word for it and tell you what I think. This is gonna be kinda long because I am incapable of being normal.

I think anyone who thinks that this is the case has a very very poor understanding of Mike. And also a poor understanding of literally the entirety of s2 and s4.

Mike cares about Will, and he cares about El. It's possible for him to care about both of them at the same time. The only reason he has a hard time balancing his relationship with both of them is because he's denying the true nature of his feelings for both of them. With El, he's trying to convince himself that his platonic feelings are romantic. With Will, he's trying to convince himself that his romantic feelings are platonic. It is my belief that he is fully aware of his romantic feelings for Will, and his lack thereof for El. But being aware of something and accepting something are two different things. However, by the end of s4 I think it's clear he's headed in the direction of acceptance.

So, about s2:

Mike is protective of Will because he's protective of Will. Simple as that. His fierce protectiveness of Will is established in s1.

We see it when Hopper is first questioning the boys about the last time they saw Will. Mike is insistent that he wants to be there. He doesn't just wanna help by answering questions, he wants to be out there actively searching.

We see it when he defends Will against the comments Nancy and Ted make about him at the dinner table. "All because Mike's friend got lost in the woods" "oh so this is Will's fault?" // "See what happens?" "What happens when what?"

We see it when he is the one to plan to go out to where Will's bike was found and search the woods.

We see it when he confronts Troy after the assembly and pushes him down

Mike being protective of Will in s2 is just a continuation of an already established trait. We just didn't see it in the same way in s1 because Will wasn't there. In s1 it was almost like Mike was being protective of an idea, but in s2 he's being protective of a real and tangible thing. He's not just protecting the belief and hope that Will is still out there, he's protecting WILL.

And that isn't because El is gone, his protectiveness of Will persisted throughout s1. El was there and he was still protective of Will. So El's absence cannot be a cause of his protectiveness of Will. However, the intensity of it was likely influenced by the events of the previous year, which would include watching El "die". But his behavior regarding Will definitely has more to do with what happened to Will than with what happened to El.

I think that if El was present in s2, he still would've been just as protective of Will. Because that's just who he is.

Now, about s5:

He's not going to ignore Will in favor of El. Anyone who thinks that definitely just blatantly ignored his entire s4 arc.

I mean, Mike and Will's s4 arcs were almost entirely dedicated to fixing the damage that s3 did to their relationship. Mike apologizes to Will for how he acted since he got to Lenora, but there's also a sense that he's apologizing for more than that. He says "this last year". He's not mentioning anything specific, but we know what happened. Will knows what happened. And although it still should be, and likely will be, explicitly addressed, this is a start.

I kinda think that the "cool" "cool" scene is when Mike starts to prove to the audience that he's worth Will's love. Because if s3 didn't happen, I don't think there would be doubts. If s2 Mike was also s3 Mike, I don't think anyone would be saying "Will deserves better". But s3 did happen. I love Mike, but he did mess up. He did treat Will like shit. And that should be acknowledged by the characters and by the plot. So when Mike apologizes for his behavior, and subtly addresses s3, and then Will decides that it's worth it to bring his painting - which is a declaration of love - it's a confirmation that this was a turning point for Mike. This isn't a fluke. Mike wants to be better, and he's trying to be better, and that's going to continue for the rest of the season, and it will carry into s5. This conversation, which marks a real change for Mike, includes the line "I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But whatever it is, I think it'll be easier if we're together. A team. Friends. Best friends." And then Will makes the decision to bring what is a plot device for byler's development specifically. Like it's pretty clear what behavior the plot is rewarding.

"I think maybe I was worrying too much about El... And I don't know maybe I feel like I lost you or something" is worth mentioning here because not only is this Mike explicitly stating that his s3 behavior was a deviation from the norm for him, but also the plot rewards this confession. It rewards Mike's vulnerability (although tentative) in this moment. Mike's vulnerability is returned tenfold in the van scene. And since we know Mike's vulnerability was rewarded, it only makes sense for the same to be true for Will's. The painting is the catalyst, Will's vulnerability (although veiled) has to be rewarded by the plot.

And then again, in their last scene together, Mike reaffirms that they're a team. Yeah, you can say that when he says "we will" he's referring to everyone involved. But he says this while firmly grasping Will's shoulder. He wants Will to know he's here, and he's not going anywhere. Yes, it's about everyone, but underneath that there's a sort of desperation for Will to believe him. He's determined to live up to what he said in Dear Billy. He wants them to be a team. So when he says "we" he means everyone involved, but there's an unspoken "you and me".

AND THEN AGAIN, in the final shot, they're together. But more than that, Mike makes a CHOICE to stay by Will's side. He's there because he wants to be with Will. Nothing is stopping him from walking to stand by El's side. But he doesn't do that. He stays with Will because he told Will they were a team and he meant it. I could go on and on about what this means from a storytelling perspective. About how there is obvious thought put into using this to tell the audience what to expect. But from a character perspective, thinking of Mike as a real human with his own thoughts and motivations, it's clear what he's thinking in this moment. They're facing something terrifying, and he knows exactly where he wants to be while he faces it, and that's by Will's side. This scene is undoubtedly foreshadowing for s5, and it's very reasonable to conclude that it means his priority will be Will.

TL;DR Mike was protective of Will in s2 because that's just what is natural for him. And his priority in s5 is going to be Will, because that's what s4 very deliberately set up.

[mafufuu]

i compare childrens literature to pd pcs

!! spoiler for like, so many episodes of prime defenders god knows how many, but def s2 finale, if youre not done scroll away at rapid speeds !!

Childhood

    Peter Pan is a tale of growing up. Dakota Cole is someone who might have done that too fast. The story follows the Darling children, primarily Wendy and their adventures into Neverland. Wendy seemingly wants to stay a child forever, though when faced with Peter Pan, the embodiment of childishness, her mind is changed. Dakota can be considered childish, with his intellect, black and white sense of good and evil, and extremely kind heart. Yet, it might be that, as opposed to Wendy, he is clinging to whatever remains of his childhood.

     As a kid, Dakota was quite reckless, skipping school, climbing roofs, and whatnot. He’s like Peter Pan, filled with childish whimsy and a lack of care. He befriends a girl, who joins him in the shenanigans. It’s like the early bond of Wendy and Peter. But soon, the consequences of this immaturity become evident. Like how Wendy comes to see Neverland’s flaws. One day, when climbing a roof, the girl falls. Dakota tries to pull her back up, but soon his grip gives out and he goes down too. 

    Couple this with the death of his parents, and likely other factors, Dakota has gone through the kind of stuff that would kill off a childhood. But this is “his” fault, he wasn’t able to save her. Dakota wakes up after the fall, and he runs from wherever he was. He holds this notion that a hero, like the ones he sees in the media, saves everyone. A lofty childish ideal, but one worth admiring. Dakota has grown from where he started, he no longer sees good and evil as two separate entities, holding the idea that the ‘villains’ deserve to be saved too, and that they can be met with forgiveness as opposed to punishment. 

    Peter & Wendy says in the end childishness must be let go of. I reckon that it’s okay to have maturity, yet still hold the whimsy and joy of a child.

Belonging

     Pinocchio is a story that has been warped over time. In this case, I will base this off of the basic sanitized version most people know. It focuses on a wooden boy, the titular Pinocchio, who desires to become a boy of flesh and bone. Vyncent is someone who (as of the beginning) felt a lack of belonging in the world of Prime, and wanted to be accepted. What lies in both is a desire to change.

    Pinocchio starts out as a wooden boy crafted in a woodcarver’s shop, a fit for what he is made of, surrounded by similar things. Vyncent starts out in the world of Fauna, where magic is something everyone has, where people can just have pointy ears and no one questions it, where adventuring parties slaying dragons are usual, where he is normal. Where they belong and are accepted.

     Though, they both leave those places of comfort, intentionally or not. Pinocchio ventures out to become a ‘real’ boy, and Vyncent falls through a portal. Soon after, he somehow ends up in jail, then gets recruited to join the Prime Defenders. He does not know the customs of Prime, but he goes with how things are, while using some of his knowledge from Fauna, to attempt to fit in. The heroes are beloved by many, they belong.

     Vyncent embarks on his journey with William and Dakota, forging friends and foes, and maybe, a home, along the way. He finds a place where he can belong. Vyncent goes to visit Fauna, and he is beckoned to stay, in the place where he is from. Yet, with how he would be separated from the Prime Defenders, and how The Greats’ power remains in his sword, he chooses to leave. The Blue Fairy fulfills her promise of acceptance to Pinocchio.

    Interpretations say Pinocchio holds the message of ‘disobedience is bad and being good will be rewarded’ which in some scenarios isn’t untrue. But, to me (and Guillermo Del Toro), it is an anecdote saying if you stay true to yourself, you can be loved, you were always what you wanted to be, realizing it or not.

Curiosity

    Alice in Wonderland is about a girl falling into a strange and foreign world. William Wisp is a boy that got thrown into a hectic journey nonconsensually. For Alice, it is Wonderland she journeys into, for William it is the side effects of dying and getting revived.

     It begins with being out in nature, seeing something strange, and deciding to follow it, then falling, be it being out on the river bank, seeing a white rabbit running late diving into its rabbit hole, or going on a late night hike in the woods, and spotting a will-o-wisp, and chasing it off a cliff. Then, Alice is in Wonderland, and William is falling with strange sights surrounding him. He looks around, seeing bright colorful lights, floating islands, be they holding fountains, a field of greenery with a mother and child walking together, a man on a throne of paperwork, you name it, all things to write home about.

   Both William and Alice leave their places of wonder, though they do return. (Admittedly I’m not sure how well the events of the sequel lines up with William’s character development.) William’s adventures outside of the spirit world do not halt, however I am not focusing on those. When the base burns down, Mallard Conway whisks William away to show him his domain, being an endless graveyard housing everyone he cares for, and himself. Wonderland is certainly described to be a weird place, meaning it is also likely not devoid of horrors.

    Both of the two are out of knowledge, attempting to solve the mysteries of these strange places they wound up in. They both can be mean at times, though are generally decent people, and they want a way out.

    William’s journey through the spirit world and as the Wisperer continues. Ranging from forcing Dakota to fight a smoke samurai, then being forced to eat the soul of aforementioned samurai, to dying again, to learning he is decaying and bloodless after punching a wall and seeing strange imagery, a lot of things, and not necessarily good ones. Like how Alice continues traversing Wonderland.

    Eventually, he dies a third time. He is faced with his final challenge, his trial. He stays with his old ways and runs, and runs, though eventually faces the fight head on, with all the growth he's gone through. The battle is simply happening when Clarence retrieves William to give the latter a second chance at being alive, though more in between alive and dead, as would Alice’s sister wake her up from the dream, and she leaves Wonderland.

    There isn’t really a clear moral to this one, though it may have various themes and interpretations. This is but a tale made up to amuse youth. Though Wonderland may be fun, it has its downsides and things can go south, but the only constant is change, so things will be okay.

Home

    The Wizard of Oz explores the narrative of Dorothy, a girl who lives in Kansas who’s life is turned upside down in a cyclone, Ashe Winters is someone who was just living in suburban New Haven, who’s life was turned upside down by the metaphorical cyclone that is the Prime Defenders (and eventually becomes one himself). 

   Dorothy soon becomes part of  a group, making a quartet, one with three others who doubt their possession of  certain characteristics.  A tinman who treats all life with the greatest of care. A scarecrow who doubts his wit and overanalyzes. A lion, one who houses bravery but chooses to run, until told otherwise. Though Dakota, Vyncent, and William might not be the best embodiment of their trait I assigned among the group, they all have it for certain. Then there’s Ashe, who desires the comfort of family, in these scenarios, not necessarily blood relation, more companionship, familiarity, and support.

    After many trials and tribulations, the Prime Defenders make it where they need to be, fighting Overlord. They won, however their victory came with a sacrifice, Ashe gave himself up to the Trickster so they’d win. Despite how little time they spent together, Vycnent, Dakota, and William are determined to get their friend back. They fight, and they fight, and they fight, until they’ve won.

    All Dorothy desired was to go home, and Ashe wanted connection. These two things are quite similar, Dorothy was not seeking a building, but her aunt and uncle, and home is people, the kind you can connect with. That is what the Prime Defenders are to Ashe. He is one of them. Dorothy and Ashe return to their places of comfort, Kansas, and the Prime Defenders. After all, at the end of the day, there’s no place like home.

[mlchaelwheeler]

Why Mike and El Shouldn't (And Won't) Be Endgame

Before I start this analysis of sorts, I just want to say that yes, I do believe byler will be endgame, but I will be taking an objective perspective to Mike and El's respective characters, as well as their relationship with each other. That aside, let's dive in!

Mike and El meet at a very eventful time in both of their lives. For Mike, his best friend of 7 years has just gone missing. For El, she's just escaped a prison (the lab) where she's spent her whole life. They are pushed together by a mutual need: Mike needs El to find Will, and El needs Mike to survive the real world, and stay away from the "bad men." It's clear throughout S1 that Mike and El have created a special bond--while some call it romantic, I don't think that's really on their minds. What they want (and need at this point) is a strong friendship.

El has just escaped from the only place she's ever known, thrust into a new world she knows nothing about, and in which she knows no one. Should she be jumping into a romantic relationship 2ish days after meeting Mike? No, she absolutely should not. I doubt she even understands what romance is, let alone the difference between being Mike's friend or his girlfriend--to her, they likely mean the same thing: Mike cares about her. It's the same for Mike. S1 shows (and tells) us over and over again that Mike isn't thinking about El as a possible girlfriend. Lucas tells him: "if you love her so much, why don't you marry her?" Dustin questions why Mike doesn't understand why Lucas is upset and has to spell it out that Lucas is jealous of El--jealous that Mike is wasting time on her when they could be looking for Will at the lab. Even Nancy asks Mike if he likes El. To all 3 of these querys, Mike responds negatively or is confused. He clearly isn't thinking about El romantically, but he is starting to realize maybe he should be, since everyone is asking him about her.

For me, S1 is the purest and best form of Mike and El's relationship. It's their true dynamic together before they're forced to conform to outside expectations. Once S2 starts, we see El watching romantic soap operas on tv, likely shaping her view of what romance is like. After her rushed kiss with Mike in the S1 finale, she's likely realizing that this means she's Mike's girlfriend now, and should be initiating romantic interactions between them. From the soap operas, she's getting a very over exaggerated view of what romance is--however, she has no way to tell that it's not realistic. In soap operas, people break up all the time and get back together the next episode. It's normal, right? She sure thinks so. This will go on to skew her views of her relationship with Mike. No matter what they go through, or how he treats her, it will always work out in the end. That's how the soap operas go anyways. El is clinging to a sense of perceived normalcy because she so desperately wants to be normal for once.

While Mike doesn't see El much in S2 (he's with Will all season), he calls her on the radio every night since she goes missing. Lots of people read this as romantic and a big love confession of sorts, but I think Mike would've done this for any one of the Party. Time and time again, we're shown how loyal Mike is to his friends--remember, this is the same Mike who jumped off a cliff to save Dustin's teeth!! He obviously felt massive guilt over El's "death" in the S1 finale. She slept in his basement, helped him find Will alive, relied on him to keep her safe from the "bad men," and then "died" keeping him and his friends safe? No wonder he called her every night hoping she was still out there--after all, he did see her that same night outside his living room window, so he did have a reason to hope she'd actually hear him. Again though, if Lucas or Dustin would've disappeared instead of El, I think Mike would've called them on the radio too, trying to reach them. Remember, all throughout S1, Mike believed (not really) that Will was dead--and even saw his body!--but still attempted to contact him over the radio multiple times. If he did this for Will, obviously he would for El too. These are parallels that should be noticed together.

Moving on to S3, this is the first time we see Mike and El as an actual couple. This is obviously the first relationship for either of them, and it's made clear from the start of the season that they're not better together than they are apart. Whereas their interactions are sweet and inclusive of their friends in S1 and S2, come S3, they're ignoring everyone in favor of constantly making out. They don't even really talk to each other! When Mike tries singing, El tells him to stop and just resumes kissing him. When Mike tries to find El a gift at the mall, he is unable to do so--not because he doesn't have enough money, but because he has no idea what she'd actually like.

The sad thing is, no matter what he'd pick out, El would probably love it, because it's from Mike. S3 makes it clear El hasn't grown her sense of identity at all since escaping the lab--nearly 2 years prior! She sadly asks Max at the mall, "how do I know what I like?" She's never actually stopped to consider what she might enjoy because she just always goes along with whatever Mike or Hopper tells her. That's not really anyone's fault, it's just how it is because they're teaching her about the normal world. She's been learning so much that she hasn't had time to stop and think about what she enjoys. Luckily, the break she gets from Mike allows her to explore other possibilities--new styles, new food, and new friendships. Her time with Max is the time when she arguable gets the most growth character-wise in the series. She can focus on herself without being caught up in Mike.

I should also point out here that the story makes it clear that El only grows as a character when she's apart from Mike. This is intentional--when she's Mike's girlfriend, she is stagnant as a character. In S2, her solo adventure to discover her past helps her understand her roots and develop her powers. She becomes more independent--traveling to Mama's house and Chicago by herself, which is a huge step for her after not leaving the lab for 12 years. Then, she gets back to Hawkins and "defeats" the mindflayer, but from that point on her character falls short, as she goes back to Mike. She regains this sense of independence and agency in S3 after she breaks up with Mike, and has more development up until she loses her powers. When 3 months go by, and she's moving, she seems to be back to how she was before the breakup--completely dependent on Mike. We see this again in the opening of S4. Her room is a literal shrine to Mike! She has't made any friends, has isolated herself emotionally and physically, and is sending letters full of lies to Mike. When Mike arrived in California, they go back to their old S3 selves, but things are a bit off because El's covering for her lies. She's obviously angry because Mike can't tell her he loves her, so she's in tune that something in their relationship is wrong. Unfortunately, El sees her worth as being tied to her powers, so when Dr. Owens gives her the opportunity to get them back, she jumps at the chance. Maybe Mike will love her if she goes to become a superhero again. After all, that's why he "fell in love" with her in the first place right? Because she used her powers to find Will and save them from the demogorgan?

El's narrative has been building up her independence since the beginning of S2. She has to realize that her powers do not define her--she's worth so much for just being her! If Mike tells her he loves her just after she gets her powers back, it will feel cheap. El should be affronted by this, and should rightfully call him out. Mike can find thousands of other reasons to love El besides her powers! If he can't say it, well, there must be a deeper reason. I think that by diving into her past, El has been able to understand her trauma more fully and grow from that, triggering her hopeful resurgence of independence. However, the story has made it clear that she can't do that while being in a romantic relationship with Mike.

Speaking of Mike, let's look closer at how his interactions with El have changed after becoming her boyfriend vs when they were just friends. I think everyone can agree that Mike and El were adorable in S1. Their smiles, their understanding that they were both missing something (a home and a best friend), and their actions say it all. However, these are all platonic things, and I think they both viewed themselves as just friends until other people brought romantic feelings into the equation. In S1, Mike shows lots of emotion when interacting with El: his smile and voice after she saves him from the cliff ("El, you're not the monster, you saved me. You saved me!"), explaining what friendship is, setting up the basement fort for her, yelling at Papa as he takes her away, etc. Mike also shows emotion with her in S2, before they're properly "together." However, his interactions with her feel much more forced and unemotional with her from S3 onward. He doesn't even seem a bit sad after El breaks up with him--if anything, he seems offended, not something someone who just lost the love of their life should feel. When he tries to clue El into his feelings in the grocery store, he stutters around the real words, unable to make eye contact or say "I love you." When she confesses her love to him before moving away, he doesn't respond and looks downright confused after their kiss. When she confronts him about "from Mike" in S4, Mike is stiff and unemotional as El sobs in front of him. He blames other people for their problems when the real problem is himself. This isn't the same Mike as S1-2, where he would've shown at least some emotion and done anything to make El feel better.

These are key narrative choices that the show has been pushing to show that something's not right--things are not as they should be. If we step back and look at Mike and El's narratives as a whole, it's clear that they're both worse versions of themselves when they're together. Mike becomes an unemotional puppet of himself, simply going through the motions of being in a relationship. El becomes completely dependent and lost in a fantasy world of soap opera-type relationships, and is unable to cope with faced with real-world problems. If the show has constantly pushed this idea, how does it make sense that they'd end up together? Why stunt the development of 2 main characters just to have Mike and El end in a romantic relationship? It's clear that they're the most genuine with each other--and the rest of their friends/family--when they're platonic with a capital P. The narrative isn't building up to a big romantic confession, it's leading to a mutual understanding that they never shouldn't rushed into a relationship they neither wanted nor understood in the first place.

[sirnavergi]

talk about lenore THIS INSTANT (please)

LENORE!!!! everyone say thank you red … again…

Lenore Caester is the general branch manager of the Verus Technologies Corp, the company behind the Safe Haven Project🙏 She commonly speaks in the royal we. She appears and disappears at the blink of an eye if you’re not actively looking at her. She’s got the kind of voice and diction you’d find in advertisements. (If u wanna get super specific her current voice claim is the fax machine in dhmis s2 ep1.)

In classic VTCO fashion she denies time (the concept).

In one of my first artworks of Lenore ever (the old ones….) she’s holding a pen with a butterfly charm! In my last reference sheet of Lenore it only has one wing. The full butterfly is usually used to symbolize the actual CEO, while the single wing is for SUGAR (the CEO).

Lenore “adopts” Axl after the finale of genesis part 2. Axl runs into Lenore in the elevator and shes like “Hey You wanna go to school?” n hes like. omg yay. school⁉️⁉️⁉️

Lenore is like an android of sorts! She’s either a dead woman put back together or simply based on a woman previously alive. She either doesn’t remember or simply no longer feels attached to anything regarding her “past life” or “identity”. To stay true to her detachment from her past I likely won’t write her origins/mention it.

She’s shown to possess a lot of admiration for the actual CEO and speaks very highly of her.

Lenore isn’t super fond of most of the characters around her relevance level in the story. Main one being Edgar Reynaud! Obv. She doesn’t like him much. She also has a negative relationship with Azimuth! Azimuth has more of an upper hand there as their source of tension is Az’s unwillingness to cooperate. This leads to her getting dragged to mundane activities and hangouts with Az that she has to sit through in the hopes that he comes around eventually. Neither Lenore or Az are open about it when they dislike someone! So while they r both aware that the other person doesn’t like them either, from a 3rd person view they have a fun dynamic i think ^_^ Lenore is generally passive aggressive in a very artificially warm corporate way, while Az likes to fashion his distaste as something more flattering… so hes VERY nice. Hes very nice about it ^_^

Lenore’s dynamic with Morgaine is also interesting to me! It’s quite common for Morgaine to be the person getting the short end of the stick. I feel like she’s always the character who simply doesn’t know background information characters around her know. I feel like it’s a very cruel way to put it but she does end up being the laughingstock very frequently… n it’s not really her fault that this happens. This kind of continues with Lenore. Lenore is her boss. But also not really, because she never actually signs a contract to work with the company. There’s stuff Morgaine confines in Lenore, simply because she has to talk to SOMEBODY and theres not a lot of options. Ok apologies for the morgaine rant i love morgaine can u tell shes one of my favorite characters lmao . She’s still an outsider in the new world that’s been established. For many reasons. It’s kind of when you learn how a magic trick works and it just ruins the magic for you. She was there when a good chunk of the new world was being built, and she knows enough of it is false to be able to ignore it and live a “normal” life. Her normalcy isn’t whatever this is. Therefore she has to confine in people who are also outside this “normalcy”. Lenore is a good candidate for this very reason. For Morgaine, Lenore is the closest thing she can get to talking with a real person who’s also not going to invalidate every second thing she says. Lenore is semi-aware of this. She’s also aware of how horrified Morgaine was to learn the guy she thought she murdered was actually a robot. N there’s a little humor in it for Lenore. Because she’s also a robot.

On a less lore related note, I initially designed Lenore based on a random oc generator prompt thing i got from a website bc I was bored 🤧

Lenore also briefly shows up in a prequel story titled UO! She accompanies Una Hearthelow (creator of The quantum computer / edgar) to a vcto owned skyscraper.

If you remember The Umbrella ™ cycle, Lenore holds an umbrella over Morgaine at the finale of World’s End.

More character design details wise… She’s blue! Obviously because she’s a textbook #BC (aspect type). But she also has some pinks. Who are the pinks associated with? The CEO!!!!! Yippeee!!!! She also has very organic shapes throughout her design, with her dress somewhat resembling waves or water. These are also stuff associated with the actual CEO. She does have my statement square/rectangle shaped irises I give most of my robot-ai-any sorta techy characters! (It’s mostly a stylistic choice, her eyes likely just look. “normal” to everyone else) Her pupils are the 2 triangle hourglass-like shape that’s the vtco logo! Her eyes are a more purple color, i think mainly bc i just like it that way. But u could read into it with knowledge of what purple is associated with in my character designs/worldbuilding.

I’ll call it a day for now…. Feel free to ask me more specific details like dynamics with other characters yada yada.. either here or on discord 🫡

[tiodolma]

do you know of any complete mergana slowburn besides ‘you can’t fight fate’? do complete mergana fics even exist?

by "slow burn" you mean one where there’s a lot of pining, fighting and not really getting together that quick right? There are a lot of complete MerGana fics!!!! You just gotta start at the oldest (especially in ffnet) and give the fics a chance.

I'm actually still at circa 2012 in ffnet and im reading thru a lot and seriously a lot of gorgeous long fics. The normal lengthed fics are so cool and good too and i often take a while to recover and open a new fic.

tbf "you can't fight fate" is ridiculously long and big so we gotta lower that as the standard but okay i will try

AN ATTEMPT AT LONGFIC (COMPLETE) MERGANA FICS

.................................................

AO3

The curious case of Merlin and Morgana by kessilover - 19 chapters. this one absolutely my favorite and first real taste of the toxic dynamics and complicated healing process that MerGana will have to go thru if they get um redeemed together. AU where after Camlann event, MerGana wakes up in an alternate reality where Morgana is pregnant with Merlin's child.

Bound By Fate by Araminia16 - 54 chapters explicit. MerGana deal with Morgana's actions in the prequel to this. Slowburn in the way that they are still toxic and heavily attracted to each other. Secrets are revealed, Morgana and Merlin both deal with each other's righteous fury. and the future is rewritten

No Other Way by MonJoh - 12 chapters. Morgana and Morgause figure out that the key to Camelot is Merlin. Personally this is one of my favorite Magic Reveals.

Destiny's Path by MonJoh 11 chapters. Merlin accidental magic reveal that causes him to get banished. He ends up following aithusa's trail and rescuing Morgana.

The Witch, the Warlock, and the King by AngryPurpleFire 10 chapters. Merlin in the Dark Tower. Comes to an understanding with Morgana. This one is an honest exposition of Camelot dynamics.

The Tricoloured Dragon (Y Ddraig Dri Lliw) by jaqtkd 2 chapters but around 49500 words. The English King Uther is determined to bring Pagan Wales under his control and offers an alliance to the most reasonable of their princes. Balinor accepts his offer instantly and even offers a son and a ward to the king as security. It all seems far too good to be true. - not a slowburn per se.. but it's still long.

LIFE IN MOMENTS SERIES (FFNET) - a cool and very compelling series tbh.

A Lion and a Unicorn by Mnemosyne77 30 chapters and first part of a series. This one is truly a slow burn. Morgana has a nightmare where Merlin is dying. You should check this out.

A Life in Moments by Mnemosyne77 101 chapters. Part 2 of the 'Life in Moments' Trilogy and sequel to 'A Lion and a Unicorn'. Story told in oneshots, drabbles and longer story arcs across multiple time lines. Contents list is in chapter 101. Believe me, you'll need it.

A Haunted Lake by Mnemosyne77 Part 3 conclusion of the 'Life in Moments' trilogy. Down a deep forest path, through a crop of oak trees, and beside a vast field of wildflowers, there is a lake. It's a wondrous thing but the locals do not go near it after dark.

FFNET FICS

Challengers by brickroad16 14 chapters. I remember liking this a lot. and this has been recced many times so I put this here too.

Throw Out the Script by Eidolon02 37 chapters. I remember this being really cool too. Merlin reveals his magic to Morgana in s2. He teaches her and they become close (and pine a lot for each other). Even on this fic they keep clashing in their ideals and struggle to keep the balance. Please check it out!

A Witch's Hormones by Angela-Bennet 30 chapters. both merlin and morgana and the rest of camelot is sexually frustrated coz of some supernatural annual fertility event.

Resistance is Futile by Duchess Emma 16 chapters It's March 18 and our young lovers must resist the magical pull of fertility for three days or else their magic will be revealed. Yes, it is quite salacious. Now COMPLETE - this is kind of like "A Witch's Hormones" but a different kind of take. It's pretty cool

A Thin Line by Duchess Emma 31 chapters - Merlin and Morgana wake up handcuffed together in Cenred's dungeon. They have to put their hatred aside and work together to get out of this predicament. Will Merlin finally admit his magic? It's a thin line between love and hate. Very thin. - this one also explores their dynamics and what they can do when pushed into a desperate situation where they have to work together. also a pretty sexy fic as they try to fight the attraction they have with each other. merlin is frustrating as usual.

Semper by WingedWolf121 5 chapters. you are the Princess of Cornwall, who holds magic that in Camelot would get you killed. You will learn the art from the most powerful of teachers, Nimueh. If only this serving boy with the vivid blue eyes did not distract you so. Merlin/Morgana - I remember this was quite a slowburn. I dont remember much details but i thought this was cool too. I've seen this one getting recced by others

Heartlines by WalkingWit 37 chapters Modern Mergana AU A modern university AU set in a world where Uther is the British government, Morgana is his rebellious ward, Gwen is her indecisive roommate, and Merlin ends up as roommate to the king of clotpoles himself, Arthur Pendragon. A bit of swearing involved. - idk if you are okay with modern au but i like this one a lot. they remember their past life in this. so cool.

The Dark Tower by WalkingWIt 12 chapters Morgana captures Merlin, imprisoning him in the Dark Tower, and he comes to find they're not so different after all. Both are alone. Mentions of Freya. - this one is interesting as well

The Camelot Records Tour Modern MerGana AU - 16 chapters. Merlin and Morgana are both the singers and composers in their respective bands. Their groups were contracted to go on tour together. Repulsion and Attraction occurs.

ALSO IF YOU WANT 2 VERSIONS OF MARRIED MERGANA MAY I RECOMMEND YOU SPARROWS MAGICIAN'S TWO GORGEOUS SERIES

"Bliss" Series - Canon Compliant (multple fics) - Morgana returns to Camelot because of a prophecy post s3 (iirc). Merlin and Morgana gotta settle their differences.

and

Unwelcomed Arrangements 26 chapters - Unions of peace come from marriage. Uther must give away his ward if he wishes to make peace with Merlin king of Magi. Unfortunately, the new bride is already in love with another, and her dreams foreshadow destruction. Merlin has to find a way to save everyone, and win his new brides heart. AU, Royal!Merlin

.................

This is all I got for now. Like I said before. I'm still slowly, very slowly getting thru MerGana fics. I think I missed one complete Modern AU in this list but I honestly cannot remember anymore. The longfics, drabbles and normal sized fics keep meshing in my brain. I hope I can do a 2nd sweep of both fanfiction sites someday but. ah. I doubt I'll even finish within the year. I'm still overwhelmed by the magnitude, the diversity the richness of it all.

Hope you enjoy these longfic recs. And I do encourage everyone to explore. I'm just a very new Merlin fan. I just got here in Dec 2022. Everything about MerGana is new and amazing for me, even the 10+year old fics (Especially those fics tbh).

anyway someday i really hope i can make a better fic rec list. but how can i do that when i sometimes just want to rec everything on ffnet?? lol

Good day. And also tyvm for the ask.

[deluweil]

this sounds so wrong but i need a major character to get killed off this season. it’s a firefighter show and somehow no one has died, only significantly hurt. and even if somone gets significantly hurt, they usually skip the recovery part too. it’s getting so predictable. the finale for last season was honestly not my favorite. everyone was just fine in the end and they time skipped again. there’s no stakes with this show. it’s gotten to the point where everything is predictable and it’s tiring.

Hello dear Anon :)

To be honest, last season I said the same thing, the way the last episode was written was a sham. It looked like it was thrown together last minute, the important things got shoved aside for the grand call that had no emotional impact to it, so yeah, a character's death would have made more impact than some whatever the hell we got.

The physical part, obviously Oliver's damn good at, always impressive. But it was a 118 emergency, and there was very little emotion to it.

And don't get me started on the skipping the recovery parts, that the only ones we saw were Buck's and the only thing those stories did was break the 118 apart before miraculously making it better by glossing over it with a "family excuses all transgression without dealing with it or talking about it" policy and no real development on anyone's part.

Except Eddie's which is the only recovery story (which was only the ptsd not the actual injury recovery) that I loved, because it led to actual character development, Eddie of S2-3 is different than the one we got from one season to another.

All the rest are made better and more relatable by their relationship with their partners, Bathena love each other so much that they make changes for one another, Henren made an amazing recovery from Hen's betrayal in S2, she does her damnest to be better for her wife every single day of their lives which really makes them couples goals.

And Maddie made Chimney more relatable to me personally, because when he's not with her he does dumb stuff, like punching his future brother in law in the face. Which was swept under the rug too. I love Chimney, but some behaviors to me as a person are unacceptable in my eyes. Physical violence that is not in a boxing ring with a true opponent or done in self defense, is unacceptable and should be talked about, not normalized on national television.

But Madney is a beautiful pairing and I love JLH for insisting on Chimney instead of a romance with Eddie. Because really, I can't even imagine it nor could I in S2, long before I shipped buddie. Madney just works! And I can't wait for the wedding.

But fact to the matter is, we don't see the actual developments during the physical recovery itself which takes down the emotional value, we don't even see the bedside vigils in between, unless it's Buck or if Buck needs Chimney's finger print to get into his phone to find Maddie.

I want it to be clear, that I love Buck! I do, and tbh much like in Chimney's regard with Maddie, Eddie made Buck relatable to me, I didn't like him at first, I was fond of him, I didn't want him fired in S1, and I wanted to slap him silly with that lawsuit in S3, But I love him, Eddie made me love him, because we get to see him through Eddie's eyes.

I hate that while everyone else developed, Buck keeps getting slid back. I really wish the writers did him the justice he deserves by actually letting him grow into the person we keep seeing glimpses of and make it stick.

I get what you're saying, because a death, would give and emotional payout and set the tone in a hopefully more positive way, like Otis's death in S8 of Chicago fire, or Miller from Station 19 last season. (Still haven't forgiven Shonda for that).

But now, S7 feels like a reboot, so before we throw anyone to the dogs let's give them a chance to make an impact before we choose the nuclear option. 😉

A couple of days ago, I was talking with a mutual and told her that so far I am at a wait and see mode, whatever happens next, will decide whether I watch S8 or not, I'm manifesting a good season and a good conclusion to everything.

If not, well can't say we didn't give it the old college try. 😉❤️

[yelena-bellova]

Unlucky: (Eventual) Steve Harrington x F!Subject!Reader

Chapter Twelve: Friday the 13th

Series Masterlist

Plot: Tini discovers the negative connotations with the number thirteen.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: light language, no use of y/n

A/N: Last chapter before s2!! Next week we drop the eventual from the title! Enjoy the calm before the storm…

————————

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 13th 1984

El and I had learned our way around the kitchen quite well after months of attempts. Microwaving was our specialty, but I could still make a basic meal with El helping.

So on Hopper’s birthday, we tried our best to fry up am omelette and some sausage. The eggs ended up chewy and the sausage was lightly charred, but it was actually one of out better meals.

El put a candle in one of the sausages and I grabbed Hopper’s lighter. We tiptoed our way to his bedroom and pulled back the curtain he’d recently put up. He was still snoring away.

“Okay, ready?” I whispered, El nodded. We’d been practicing for a week.

“Happy Birthday to you,” we sang as I lit the candle. Hopper awoke with a snort, “Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Hopper…happy birthday to you.”

Hopper wiped his face and blinked a couple times, smiling once he focused on us. “Wow, look at this.”

I set the tray down once Hopper sat up. “It’s not perfect,” I disclosed, “But-“

“Nah, it looks great.”

“Make…a wish?” El said, trying to remember what I’d been teaching her.

Hopper smiled and blew out the melting candle.

“Wish?” El asked.

“Ah, see that’s the thing about birthday wishes, kid,” Hopper ruffled El’s curls, “Gotta keep ‘em a secret or else they won’t come true.”

I could see El filing the information away. She was learning so much so quickly.

“Oh, I forgot to show you,” I jogged out of the room, grabbed a paper off the dining room table and ran back. “Someone has been working on their handwriting.”

Hopper took the sheet and smiled. El and I had been working hard on penmanship and spelling and she’d been doing great. It was good to keep her busy.

“Happy Birthday,” my sister said, patting Hopper on the arm before leaving to get her own breakfast.

“She’s doin’ real well,” Hopper commented, his eyes following El as she left.

“She is,” I smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I was thinking…is it maybe time that we…bring her out?”

Hopper sighed loudly, “No.”

“Hopper, I just-“

“No,” he flipped the covers over and got out of bed, “I’ve told you before-“

“I know it’s a risk,” I said, “But so is letting me out of the house.”

“Except nobody was actively trying to track you down last year,” he argued, “I told you, I’m laying the groundwork.”

I rolled my eyes, “laying the groundwork” was all he’d said on the subject for the past few months. El was getting restless, I could feel her unhappiness. I wanted to head off any bad reactions.

I shrugged and let my hands hit the bed, “Fine,” I got to my feet, “Do you want me to pick up dinner on the way home?”

“No, I got it. And hey,” Hopper stopped me, walking over to put a hand on my shoulder, “It’s not forever.”

Hopper meant well, I knew that, but he could never understand what it was like to feel captive. El and I had never known anything different. And now, with freedom dangled in front of her, El was a ticking time bomb.

With a kiss to the top of my head, Hopper left to go shower. I peeked around the corner to see El, sitting down to a plate of Eggos and pouring syrup on them. Everything seemed normal, so why didn’t it feel like it?

————————————

Homeroom was overwhelming for me. Twenty conversations happening all at once and yet there was no rhythm to any of them. I typically kept my head down, like I was now, trying to read The Great Gatsby. I’d already written the book report for it, but loved it too much to not have another go at it.

“Dude, it was so freaky,” the guy, Kyle, said behind me.

“Friday the 13th, man,” his friend said, “Weird shit happens.”

I tuned into the conversation, it was the fourth time I’d heard someone talk about how strange the day was. Nothing horrible has happened overnight, it didn’t make sense.

Tammy, one of the only people outside of Steve, Nancy and Jonathan that was actually nice to me, walked in and took her seat next to me.

“Hi, Tini,” she greeted me with a grin.

“Hi,” I replied, setting down my book, “Tammy, why is everybody talking about how weird today is?”

“What do you mean?”

“Either strange stuff is happening to them or they’re focused on what the moon’s going to look like tonight or having scary movie marathons…”

Tammy shrugged, “Well, it’s Friday the 13th. It’s supposed to be an awful day cause, y’know, thirteen. But to be honest,” she leaned in, “I think they look for it. I don’t really believe anything different happens just cause it’s an unlucky number.”

My mouth awkwardly hung open as I listened. I had never known there was a bad connotation with the number.

“Neither do I,” I tried to laugh, “Thanks.”

Our teacher came in, the class promptly shifted gears, while I stayed frozen. Nobody could have known how I was feeling, but I’d just been branded even more of a freak than before.

—————————

The rest of the day was full of colorful conversations. All around me, people excused all of their strange encounters because of the day on the calendar. More importantly, the number. My name had all sorts of negative connotations I’d never known about. By the end of the day, I was emotionally exhausted.

I was sat up against the bike rack, everyone around me moving in slow motion. My bike had gotten a flat tire so I was waiting for Hopper to pick me up.

“Hey!”

I looked up, Steve was standing over me. I felt stupid for being so distracted, I hadn’t even heard him.

I sighed, “Hey.”

“Where’ve you been? We looked for you at lunch.”

“Oh, yeah,” I tried to cheer up my voice a little, “I was, uh, busy.”

Steve looked as skeptical as he should have, “Busy?”

It was a shitty excuse for someone with three friends. “I learned what today was.”

“Today?” Steve’s eyebrow stayed up, “What’s today?”

I rubbed at my forehead, waiting for him to figure it out. Steve wasn’t stupid, he just took a lot of things at surface level.

“Oh,” he finally realized, “I guess you wouldn’t have known.”

“Nope,” I said, popping my lips.

Steve sunk down next to me, “I mean, you know that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with you. It’s not like the day is unlucky because of you.”

“It doesn’t really matter though,” I replied, picking at the top of my shoe, “No matter how many times everyone says my name is Tini, I still go by the other one in my head. It’s always going to be my name. And to find out that everybody hates it, that I-I’m some symbol of bad luck just…it just feels like one more insult in a very long line.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Steve couldn’t possibly understand what it was like. To feel cursed.

“I’m just trying so hard,” I said softly, “To understand everything. And things like this remind me that I’m always going to be one step behind. Never fully normal.”

“Don’t say that,” Steve encouraged, nudging me with his elbow, “You’re doing so good.”

I attempted to smile, “Yeah, but this,” I rolled up my sweater sleeve, displaying the tattoo on my arm, “This is always going to get in my way.”

Steve bit his lip, staring soberly at the two numbers. “I know it might not mean much,” he looked up at me, “But you’re never gonna be out of place with me and Nancy and Byers.”

“It means everything,” I said, placing a hand on his arm. Knowing I had the full acceptance of all three of them meant the world. But it couldn’t help me during the nights spent wide awake, worried that I’d always be out of place in the world.

The familiar grumbling of Hopper’s truck rolled into the parking lot.

“I gotta go,” I said, squeezing Steve’s arm and getting up.

“Hey, Nance and I are renting a movie tonight,” he offered, “My place, 7.“

Any other time, I’d have been thrilled. But with each night spent out, my guilt over leaving El built and built.

“Thanks, but it’s Hopper’s birthday,” I said, it wasn’t a lie. “I think we’re having dinner or something.”

“Got it,” Steve patted my arm and gave a small smile, “Lunch? Monday?”

“With a promise to be in a better mood,” I teased as I walked backwards towards Hopper’s truck.

Steve laughed and headed off in his own direction.

I hopped in the truck, the smell of fast food filling the air. “Drive-thru?”

“It’s my birthday,” Hopper answered, “We can eat a little junk.”

“Yes,” I chuckled as we pulled out, “Cause we’re the pinnacles of health every other day of the year.”

“Hush,” Hopper turned onto the main road, “If I want to enjoy a fatty, greasy meal with my girls, I can.”

I looked out the window, smiling to myself. I had a sister, I was somebody’s girl. Life wasn’t all bad.

When we got home, El was waiting at the dining room table. Hopper and I unpacked the bag, already leaking grease out the bottom, and introduced El to the greatest American treasure.

“A cheese…”

“Cheeseburger,” Hopper finished, unwrapping the meal in front of her.

“Y’know those grilled cheese sandwiches I make for you?” I said, a stray fry or two in my mouth, “It’s kind of like that but with meat.”

El looked skeptical, lifting one edge of the bun and peeking under it. There’d been very few foods she’d tried that she hadn’t liked.

“If you don’t like it, you can have all the Eggos you want,” Hopper promised.

As we all took our seats, El picked up the burger and sniffed it. Her face softened as she decided it was pleasing. She took a bite, nodding thoroughly afterwards and smiling when Hopper and I let out a cheer.

The night went on as well as any other. The three of us ate, watched tv, played a board game, and eventually went off to bed. But when my head hit the pillow, I knew sleep wasn’t in the cards. I was too unsettled.

I got out of bed, tiptoed out the front door and took a seat on one of our rocking chairs. The moon shone down through the forest, giving it a deep blue glow.

I breathed in the fresh air and tried to figure out what felt so wrong that it would keep me up. There was nothing new, no new threats or developments. It was everything that was already wrong, or heading towards wrong, that was bothering me. It felt like when Hopper had taught me how to boil water. Things went from perfectly normal, to a simmer, to a few bubbles coming to the surface, and then an all out frenzy. Things could go from bad to worse in a matter of minutes.

That’s what life felt like; like all our problems were about to come to a boil.

————————

Unlucky Taglist

@milkiane @raynelbabe @kik51199 @hazydespair @burn1ngw00d @fanficfanatic204 @stratospherewalker @caitsymichelle13 @potatoflavoured @guichi @triscuit-reads @angelbbygrl @finalgalnancy @thel0v3hashira143 @m-rae23 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @dessmxsworld @teeacooper @liberhoe @superhero-missouri

[jeanmoreaux]

now here’s my rant:

first off everything you said is sooo real and even though i think i’m more forgiving with the season as a whole than you are, the finale threw it all off and in hindsight ruined a lot of the season for me - it was soooo poorly paced and even felt like it wasn’t cohesive with the rest of the season regardless of how bad the writing has been for all those episodes. it was just bad tv!! normally i am very easy to please when it comes to adaptations bc i think as long as the characters act in line with the book i don’t mind a few plot holes and weird detours and while i think the writing was shitttt in s2 i overall just enjoyed seeing the crows on screen! and nikolai oof! but they were the best parts of a show that should be focused on alina and that’s soooo stupid! i think the actors did great with what they had but it would’ve been amazing to see them with good writing. they completely destroyed alina and mal’s characters and as someone who is a huge fan of how r&r ending it annoys me that they’e go against that…especially bc mal and alina literally just want to vibe on their own away from the government or the grisha. the lAST thing alina would do is run off to fix the government without mal!!! and it’s insanity to me that after all mal went through now he’s just like…..cool with alina hanging out as nikolai’s (consort???? i guess????) when that man has only ever been there to love and protect alina! also we were robbed of white haired alina and i don’t think she should’ve kept her powers and!!!!! I DID NOT WAIT TWO WHOLE SEASONS JUST FOR THEM TO COMPLETELY IGNORE GENYA’S BIGGEST ONE LINER AND TURN IT INTO A THROW AWAY SLUR🤬🤬🤬 really mad they killed david off so early too jesus christ it’s like a tapestry that unravels if you pull one thread

i could just leave this rant standing as it is without adding anything because a resounding yes to all of it. i also don't think i am impossible to please when it comes to adaptations. as long as they stay true to the characters and what the story is about at its core i am pretty much okay. but what sabs2 did goes against so much of what tgt is about, and that's a big part of why this season didn't work for me. i am also really like the r&r ending, so i understand your frustration all too well. what sabs2 did goes against everything the r&r ending is about. it also does such a disservice to mal and alina as individual characters since the resolutions to their individual arcs relies heavily on each other... and yeah especially the way we leave alina is so in conflict with who she is, it's just weird. but even if you remove the tgt context and look at the show as a separate thing, you're left with a story that has godawful pacing and a lack of substantial character work which, like you mentioned, just makes for bad tv in general. so it was just a flop all around—as a show and an adaptation. also, we weren't just robbed of white-haired alina but also ginger, roguish-looking nikolai as sturmhond!!!! such a crime!! and omg about the genya thing. you. are. so. right. THE DISRESPECT! and gosh the david thing is soooo stuipd as well because it means the triumvirate won't work either now because there is literally no one to represent the materialki..... unless they're gonna introduce another character to fill that david-shaped void which would be so dumb i don't even wanna consider it. ALSO something that just registered with me today: they completely glossed over and ignored tamar and nadia's relationship. they did not need to treat their lesbians like THAT. it really is like a tapestry that unravels if you pull one thread.

[andiwriteordie]

Okay I absolutely want to take turns and play a little ts st game so.. tag you're it.

(I am also obsessed with you, if that wasn't obvious)

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE GAME YAY YAY YAY

i'm gonna go with one of my most favorite taylor swift songs (legit this has been in my top 3 songs on spotify since 2019 or 2020 lol): the archer. i constantly go back and forth between whether it feels more mike or will to me because it just... it feels so much like both of them.

(prepare yourself for a loooooooong analysis. bold = mike; italics = will; both)

Combat, I'm ready for combat

I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

Alright, breaking this down section by section, be prepared for a long post, my friend. I think about Mike so much with this lyric, simply because Mike has a more combative nature than Will does. He’s hot-headed, brash, and easily angered, and we see him escalate a lot of situations (not even just with Will) because of that. But it’s so interesting, because while Mike’s nature is to be more combative and feisty, I feel like this also then contradicts other parts of Mike’s personality. Mike wants to be needed. Mike wants to be loved. His biggest fear is losing people that he cares about. He fears being abandoned by the ones he loves so much. So, these two lines to me just capture that internal battle, especially in the context of Byler, where Mike jumps to these argumentative, harsh words with Will (see rain fight, see Rink-O-Mania fight), and yet, he doesn’t want that. We know he wants things to be normal with him and Will again, but he’s using his combative, argumentative mask to hide those true feelings.

'Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

Cruelty wins in the movies. Ouch. This just reminds me of how Mike is trying to put on a facade. He is trying to emulate what a traditional, masculine kind of guy is supposed to look like. Guys aren’t supposed to be sensitive. They’re not supposed to care as much, and they’re certainly not supposed to care about other guys that much, right? Mike wants to be like the men he sees on the screens and that he sees in real life too (see - how he tries to follow Lucas’s example of traditional masculinity). But then, we see again, this other side to Mike. Lettergate theory truthers rise up. Mike has so much he actually wants to say to Will. Words he’s too afraid to say out loud and that are lost on pages he’ll never send or hidden in the back of his mind, where nobody gets to see them. But he wants to say them. He really really does.

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I think I’m gonna talk about Mike’s side of the chorus first, then I’ll talk about Will’s side when the chorus comes back around. God, “easy they come, easy they go” KILLS ME. I just have the images of Mike standing outside of Will’s home as Will (and El) are driven away from him in both the S2 finale (when they’re going to save Will from the Mind Flayer and when El is going to close the gate) and when Will and El’s family move from Hawkins. People keep leaving Mike, and that’s his biggest fear. It’s not just Will and El either; it’s all of his friends. We see these fears spilling out when he’s angry at Lucas in S4 for the basketball thing. 

I never grew up, it's getting so old

Help me hold onto you

This line is so freaking ironic to me, because Mike is just the opposite of that, right? He forces himself to try and grow up. He tries to push his childhood away in S3, and in doing so, he hurts Will and the rest of his friends too. He’s trying so hard to ignore all these confusing feelings and repress them, but in the end, it just hurts Mike more too. He feels like he has to grow up, but he doesn’t actually want to. That’s getting old, and Mike just wants to go back to when things were okay—back when he could still be close to Will, could hold on tight to Will, could do things that weren’t looked down on because they had the innocence of youth to hide behind. And so, I read these lyrics as almost like… Mike’s inner child quietly asking if he can go back to that, begging to return to how things used to be?

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

Again, going back to the theme of Mike’s fear of loss and abandonment. “I’ve been the archer” - Mike has hurt people with his harshness and the words he’s said. He’s hurt Will before. But God, don’t other people realize how much Mike has been hurt too? “Why am I the bad guy?” Mike literally asks Will, because God, doesn’t Will get that he’s hurt Mike too? That Will didn’t reach out and didn’t answer his calls? That Mike feels like he keeps getting left behind, that everyone else is moving on and moving forward, when he just feels stuck? When he keeps losing the people (the person) who means the most to him?

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

Alright, moving on to some Will lyrics now! I can interpret this a couple different ways… But when I think about these lines, I just imagine Will in the aftermath of S3 and before S4, hurting and thinking about Mike. Because Mike has been his best friend for years now, and Mike did hurt him. Mike said harsh words and cruel things to Will, and maybe there’s a part of Will that is angry and hurt. That wants to leave their friendship behind, because Mike did it first, right? For what was probably the first time, Mike showed Will his “dark side” which is so shocking to Will, who has only ever been able to see Mike’s light and his love. 

But that’s the thing that Will gets to learn about love and friendship—that you don’t just sign up to love the goodness someone has. You sign up for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And yeah, he’s seen the bad parts of Mike, but he’s also seen so much good. The bad does not discount all the years of love and friendship he and Mike have shared with each other, and Will wants to return to that friendship. He misses Mike. He’s not planning on leaving anytime soon. 

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

Okay I couldn’t decide who I wanted to analyze this set of lyrics more for, so I decided to do both. God, I love these lines so much, because when you think about that phrase “I cut off my nose just to spite my face” and its meaning that, “Hey, I’m going to do something that’ll hurt somebody else, but surprise? It hurt me just as much too,” I just think it’s so Byler. I don’t think either of them intentionally try to hurt each other, but when they do hurt each other, they end up hurting themselves just as much.

So, with both of them, I think about that time between S3 and S4. How neither of them really reached out all that much. How many they didn’t quite know how to be around each other anymore. How a little bit of resentment built up in their hearts, even if they didn’t want it to. How there were probably moments when Mike called Will and got no response, so he decided to be a little stubborn and not try again—until it just hurt too much not to try and reach out. How there were probably moments when Will saw letters coming in from Mike to El and how he thought about his own letters to Mike that he stubbornly decided not to send, because Mike couldn’t reach out first. How both of them wanted to reach out, but how both of them were hurt that the other wasn’t initiating. God. They’re so stupid, and I love them!

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL. Literally this section of lyrics is so Will coded, like? I can’t. I love this song so much, Abby. I love that it’s a discussion of anxiety/mental health issues and how that then affects the way we love people. Because now, with Will’s perspective, I just… I think about how much Will has gone through. How he’s suffered from PTSD and probably still struggles with nightmares, even years after his kidnapping and possession. How when we see him in S4, he’s still trying to hold onto his past and his friendship with Mike, because of how much stability and comfort Mike once brought him.

Rewinding a little bit because if I’m gonna talk about Will’s mental health, I’m gonna talk about S2 because I love S2 with my whole heart? Literally all of this just reminds me of Will’s struggle with adjusting after S1 and then how he was targeted by the Mind Flayer in S2. He knows he isn’t the same, and everyone keeps reminding him of that. “The room is on fire, invisible smoke” - just reminds me of Will seeing the Mind Flayer and feeling his presence, but being told by Owens that it’s probably just all in his head. “Invisible smoke” like he made it up… all in his mind. Not to mention, “All of my heroes die all alone” excuse me. Bob. Dying because of something that’s indirectly Will’s fault? Ouch.

Help me hold onto you

Look, this little line gets its own paragraph because I’m not done talking about S2/S4 parallels yet. Again, thinking about how in S2 Will was struggling so much with adjusting and with being stalked, and who was there for him? Mike. Mike was this steady, constant presence, and he was the one person who didn’t treat Will with kids gloves or like he was broken or different for what had happened. He gave Will the courage to keep fighting! So, now in S4, especially at the end, we just see that struggle of Will knowing his and Mike’s friendship isn’t what it used to be, but God, he’s back in Hawkins, and he can feel Vecna’s presence again, and when will this end? Is Will going to be alone in this, this time around? God, he hopes not, and maybe that’s part of why he’s trying so hard to stay close to Mike too. Mike is his best friend, but Mike is also the one who most helps Will keep fighting. And sure, Will “ripped the bandaid” off, but then sitting on the couch next to Mike and quietly telling him these things—that One is back, that he’s not going to stop, that they have to kill him? It all just reminds me of this simple, simple lyric, and how Will is trying to return to that S2 dynamic. “Help me hold onto you,” is what he feels, even though he knows he shouldn’t.

I've been the archer,

I've been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

I mean, come on. “I’ve been the archer” in the sense that Will has done things he regrets. He was used by the Mind Flayer/by One to hurt and to kill people. But then, at the same time, “I’ve been the prey” because Will was One’s first target. He was abused and had his autonomy and control ripped away from him. One used Will to then perpetuate more destruction and harm. And that’s terrifying to Will, especially knowing he can still feel One and still is connected to him. But then, it’s just so beautiful to me, because in all of that, who stays with Will? Mike does. And Will knows it. Through the worst parts of his life, Mike stayed. The year before that, Mike moved heaven and hell to try and find Will. So, now, as they’re moving into S5 and into the fight of their lives, it’s just that question of… will Mike stay with him this time? Can they go back to the people they were and the relationship they had?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

'Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through

They see right through me

I see right through me

I see right through me

Obviously, a lot of repeated lyrics here, but I just like thinking about how both Mike and Will are hiding parts of themselves—their sexualities and their feelings for each other. For two people who have built a friendship on the idea that “friends don’t lie,” it’s heartbreaking that they now find themselves in a place where they have to keep secrets from each other. And I just imagine, as they stumble close to crossing that line, as the walls fall down ever so slightly, if they’re wondering if people can see through their lies. Surely, somebody sees through their lies—Jonathan did with Will’s van monologue. And Mike’s fear is someone seeing through his lie in the monologue he gave to El. Because they both are well aware that they lied in these moments; they can see through their own lies and I’m sure they regret it. So, is it only a matter of time before somebody else sees through the lie too?

All the king's horses, all the king's men

Couldn't put me together again

S2 Will right here. I think about Will, feeling lost and feeling different and feeling broken, after his experiences in the Upside Down. He’s always felt like a freak, but now, he can’t run away from it. And it’s getting worse. The doctors are trying, and he knows it. Owens is a nice enough man. But nothing is helping. Maybe Will can’t be fixed. Maybe he’ll always be different and always be the freak, and there’s no running away from that. And it sucks… but even in spite of all of that, he still has Mike. His best friend. And Mike’s not going anywhere.

'Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch, whatever you do don’t think about both Mike and Will feeling like the other one hates them now or is disgusted by them in the aftermath of their S3 fight. Nope, no, don’t do that. Mike feels so guilty; he’s hurt Will and said things that he regrets. And now Will isn’t reaching out to him. Will already feels different because of his sexuality and feelings for Mike, and now, he feels like Mike must know and must look at him differently. They used to be best friends, but now, they can barely even call themselves friends.

[Help me hold onto you

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

Who could stay?

Who could stay?

Who could stay?]

Lots of repeated lyrics, which I think I covered already. :) 

You could stay

You could stay

You

Combat, I'm ready for combat

And this… this right here. I love this. Because after all of this, after this song is a massive confession of anxiety and of the worst parts of yourself, after the vulnerability of asking the person you love to please stay, please don’t leave again, I interpret this as a bit of a hopeful ending. Who could stay? … You. You could stay. So with Byler, I view this as just that moment of understanding that I hope they’ll get in S5, where they realize in spite of everything that has happened, in spite of what they’ve said to each other and the mistakes they’ve made, in spite of the negative ways they view themselves… Mike is choosing to stay there for Will. And Will is choosing to stay there for Mike. They’re not planning on leaving each other’s sides. They will face whatever comes next together, as a team. Neither one of them is going anywhere. It’s Mike and Will, up against the world.

[ridley-was-a-cat]

Spring 2023 Anime Roundup

Anime of the Season – Skip and Loafer

It’s rare enough for a manga I read and love to get an anime adaptation, and to have a top-tier studio adapt it is even rarer still, so this adaptation of one of my very favorite series by P.A. Works, a studio that only makes bangers, is pretty much a dream come true. The strength of the series is in its writing, especially in how it writes characters who appear to be common archetypes, but eventually show themselves to be individuals who are neither too good nor completely bad. This would have likely stood out no matter who adapted it, and made for an enjoyable story, but luckily it was adapted by a director who nailed the wistful watercolor art style of the manga, and framed and lit the scenes perfectly, taking this to another level entirely. The end result is a series about two very different kids – an awkward, overachieving girl from the sticks and an easy-going, charismatic city boy – that shows how high school can be bewildering, magical, and life-changing all at the same time. 10/10

First Runner-Up – Vinland Saga S2

This season was the masterful payoff for every frustrating thing Thorfinn did in season one. It was obvious then that he was making terrible decisions because of his youth and his trauma, and this season of farming as a slave on a Danish farm was all about him beginning to understand what he’d done and the incredibly difficult process of atonement he has in front of him. 9/10

Second Runner-Up – My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999

You know we’re in a sort of shoujo anime renaissance when you see the names Morio Asaka and Madhouse together again, and this series did not disappoint. Akane was a delightfully messy heroine, and it was a ton of fun to watch outwardly stoic gamer Yamada slowly catch feelings for the agent of chaos that stumbled into his life. 8/10

The Dangers in My Heart – When this opened up with the male lead saying he wanted to hurt the prettiest girl in class and see her in tears, I was a little concerned about what I was getting into, but it quickly became evident that it was a clever story about a middle-school edgelord figuring out that he just had a normal-ass crush on a girl and deciding to shed parts of his tweenage identity that don’t suit him anymore. 8/10

Golden Kamuy S4 – One part period drama, one part crime thriller, and one part black and/or blue comedy, there really is nothing else quite like this show in anime. It’s nothing short of masterful how it handles multiple crews of questionable dudes all trying to outwit each other while cracking the most irreverent jokes along the way. 8/10

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls’ Story S2 – While this season was not quite as balls-to-the-wall audacious as the first season, it was still a high-octane sports anime about girls playing golf in international tournaments under the thumb of mafia and business organizations, with a liberal sprinkling of Gundam references, and I’ll take all the intense girls’ sports anime they’ll give me. 8/10

Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke’s Mansion – It will eat away at me until the day I die that they gave this top-tier romantic suspense manhwa adaptation to a fourth-rate studio that couldn’t animate or storyboard to save its life. Raeliana is a fantastic self-saving heroine, Noah is the perfect sarcastic love interest, and the art was beautiful, but, goddamn, that animation was not good. 8/10

My Clueless First Friend – On first glance, this looks like just another school-set shounen romcom that pairs an aggressive character with one who just blushes, but a couple episodes in it shows some real emotional depth that sets it apart. If the male lead is this dedicated to hyping up his best girl while he’s in elementary school, he’s going to be a force of nature later. 7/10

Insomniacs After School – There was a lot I loved about this series. The way the male and female leads connected over their shared struggle with insomnia was really satisfying to watch, and I loved seeing them be physically affectionate with each other. It just lacked any soaring moments to truly wow me. 7/10

The Ancient Magus’ Bride S2 – When I saw that this season took place in a school for young magicians and sorcerers in England, I have to admit that I rolled my eyes a bit, but it introduced a good crop of unique characters and seems to be building up to a meaty conflict for cour two in the fall. 7/10

Hell’s Paradise – I really enjoyed the visuals and many of the colorful characters in this supernatural-tinged action adventure, but something I can’t quite put my finger on in the writing kept me from really getting into it. 7/10

Otaku Elf – This was a perfectly pleasant little slice of life about an elf woman who has been living in Japan since the Edo era and is currently enshrined as a local temple’s god. The conversations about history and present day nerdery between the elf and her helper were really charming. 7/10

Dead Mount Death Play – You don’t see reverse isekai all that often, and this is having some fun with the idea, as the isekaied necromancer archvillain transported to Japan might be one of the least evil characters in the story. 7/10

Dr. Stone: New World – I enjoy this series less and less with each subsequent season, as it becomes more and more blatant that science is for boys and cooking and sewing are for girls. Their adventure across the sea is still entertaining enough, but the worldview is grating. 7/10

KamiKatsu: Working for God in a Godless World – There were a number of novel and creative ideas in this isekai story about the son of a cult leader getting sent to a world without gods and proceeding to build power via religious techniques, but the story wasn’t really coherent, and while the production lampshaded its shortcomings, they were still shortcomings. A whole mess, but an entertaining mess. 6/10

The Legendary Hero Is Dead! – I generally give anything tagged as ecchi a hard pass, but the opening theme song was catchy and the premise sounded kind of fun, so I gave it a try. I mostly enjoyed myself, but the story didn’t always make sense, and there were too many thigh gaps for a show centered on a leg guy. 6/10

A Galaxy Next Door – This romance featuring a shoujo mangaka and his assistant wasn’t bad, but the story was so frictionless, the characters were so well-behaved, and the voice actors sounded so much like customer service reps, that there was nothing to really hook me. 6/10

Oshi No Ko – I’ve been fascinated by the reaction to this show as some sort of masterpiece, as I found it deeply mediocre. It couldn’t decide if it was trying to be a revenge fantasy, a murder mystery, or a showbiz drama, and the infodumping via the dialogue was egregious. Each episode left me wanting to rewatch Idolish7. 6/10

Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible – This was just one of those romcoms about a nondescript boy who attracts the persistent attention of a pretty girl that was neither good nor bad. Additionally, it had a frustrating tendency to explain to the viewer with dialogue what was already apparent via the action instead of trusting the viewer. 6/10

Too Cute Crisis – I can’t decide if the problem with this show about invading aliens waylaid by cute animals was a matter of directing or of writing, but it lacked the proper build up and comedic timing for the jokes and relied too heavily on the actors yelling the punchline to get a laugh. 6/10

Mashle: Magic and Muscles – On paper, this shounen comedy about a boy without magic dominating a magic high school really sounded like my kind of thing. In practice, however, none of the jokes landed for me and the fights were tediously boring. 5/10

Magical Destroyers – This gritty magical girl show set in a world where otaku are systematically oppressed by the government is every bit as shallow and undercooked as the premise sounds, and the visuals are not special enough to redeem it. The creator came up with the idea in high school, and it shows. 4/10

[mirrorballdazai]

Hey! Can you explain a bit more your comparison between it and st kids? I don't really understand. Have a nice day <3

gladly !!

there are LOTS of parallels between the st and it kids on so many levels, but what i was focusing on in that post was the difference between the two in relation to sex (and other “adult stuff” like cigarettes, but mainly sex) and how that shows different ways to cope with trauma and what the kids symbolize as a whole in the show/movie/book

first off let’s remember that the losers are all 11 years old, if i remember correctly only stanley is 10 in the book. the members of the party are 12 in the first season and obviously they grow up, so at what is right now the end of the show they’re all 14/15.

both groups face struggles like bullying (which is often rooted in racism, homophobia, ableism and other things), abusive or neglectful parents (or in max’s case, siblings), personal fears and obviously there are the supernatural plots, so monsters and whatever pennywise is (i didn’t finish the book yet but i think he’s an alien or a semigod but anyway).

the interesting thing is that even if the it kids are younger they show a knowledge of some, idk how to word it, “adult things”. for example some of them smoke — in the movies i’m pretty sure beverly is the only one who does it both in the og and in the remake. the thing that really stuck with me though is that they all know what sex is or even just have a vague idea of it (for example eddie in the book doesn’t really know what exactly is, but shows that he knows that it’s a thing). they make jokes about it and say/think sexual things in general. it’s also connected to eddie’s visions since in the book he sees a man with syphilis who offers to do yk sexual stuff which is connected to his fear of being ill and stuff.

on the other hand the st kids never show to know what sex is, except for max that talks about “happy screams” in s3, which makes sense because max is supposed to be the one who knows more stuff in the group, the one who lived in a city and all that. el then mentions again these “happy screams”, and when someone (i dont remeber who exactly i’m sorry) asks what happy screams are max interrupts el who was about to answer and says that it doesn’t matter — which could be for many reasons. maybe she is embarrassed or something, but when i first watched it i thought “ah she probably doesn’t want to kind of ruin everyone’s innocence” since she showed stress only after that-person asked what happy screams are, which shows that they don’t know what sex is at least in max’s mind.

the question now is why. there’s this difference between these groups, but why? for mainly two reasons.

1. show different ways to cope with trauma

my theory is that stephen king wanted to show how less innocent kids can be after trauma and abuse. he wanted to show the cruel reality, the one where kids are not that innocent even when they’re very young, especially after bad experiences. those experiences make them want to act like grown ups, talking about sex, joking about it and stuff like they think adults do.

stranger things does the complete opposite: the kids are an ideal. if you think about it even after their traumatic experiences they stay sweet and innocent — because let’s be real, they never act really bad. maybe they’re a bit bitchy or something, maybe they distance themselves from the others, but they never do REALLY bad stuff. i mean they acted like mike was a criminal in s2 because he cheated on a test/essay, or because of the graffiti thing. mike also says “everyone graffitis the bathroom stall”, which is true! they act like he’s a really bad kid for doing something normal kids do on a daily basis! another example that i love is that when will is feeling bad he clings to his childhood even more, whether that be playing d&d or going trick or treating or drawing. those are normal things kids do. when max faces depression and anxiety she stops talking to basically everyone — which kids often do, it can even be selective mutism in some cases. and there are many MANY other examples !! like el and mike’s relationship — whenever they’re stressed they scream about how much they love each other, they cling to each other and their relationship, because it was their first crush, their first love (even if you think they never really loved/had a crush on each other it was their first relationship you know?). being each other’s partner is a part of their childhood they cling onto when they’re scared.

2. because they symbolize different things

the losers are an example of how reality is: even things that are supposed to be pure and innocent can be cruel, “dirty”. they’re the symbol of a society that puts each person to their limit, sometimes making them the worst version themselves.

the party members are an ideal. they represent innocence, the “good” in a world full of bad people, bad ideals, bad decisions. they’re a symbol of hope, because a world that is as ugly as theirs needs hope.

+ i also want to point out that it as a whole has a grey type of morality — the kids do bad and good things and at one point you don’t even know what to think about them. richie is a kid that deals with this feeling of alienation from his friends (canon in book and in the movies, but for different reasons), he’s overall a sweet guy, but also makes offensive comments — sometimes these comments are even racist, or fatphobic, or ableist. henry is a character you’re supposed to hate from the first to the last moment, but you’re sometimes even supposed to emphasize with him because at the end of the day he’s been abused his whole live. while in stranger things the characters are inherently good or bad. a black and white kind of morality.

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: Cold Comfort

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Omg it starts without her nasally monologue

Oh shit dead chick

OH SHIT NOT DEAD CHICK

How’d she thaw that quick

Oh she’s a sibling

[Normal cleaning again]  He’s still disinfecting from that cough  [He and Dean would get along, given their germaphobic ways]

His hero would be GW [Normal’s real name, btw, is Reagan Ronald] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [You know how we know this?  Because he tells Alec to call him "Reagan" on his first meeting]  ☠️☠️☠️  [*sends screenshot of the script showing that conversation from “Two”*]  Normal you flirty dog

Who a poppa what  [Sivapathasundaram, I think.  According to the script online.]

That Lintlicker [Yup]  That’s Lintlicker

If he shrugs his damn shoulders. One more time.

["Bring Manticore to stage 3"  Ruh-roh]  Huh [Also, he calls him Deck alksdjf;laksdjf] I bet he does

I’m gonna not like her next season just cause of the hair! I like this hair

[Lydecker goes to capture one X-5, manages to completely miss the other one walking very pointedly towards her; buddy, you're just incompetent, okay?]  ☠️☠️☠️  [Legit.  Dude was right there]

Ma’am.  You don’t.  Touch.  Ya brother.  Like that.

Run over his toes Logan  [Doooo ittttttt]

"She got careless.  She got caught.  End of story."  Damn, Zach, you really never left Manticore for all you left Manticore, huh?  [Bitch then why did you go to her and tell her about this?  The Fuck?]

"This girl is gonna do what she’s gonna do, no matter what you or anyone else says. Now you’ve got two choices: back off or pitch in."  Poor Logan has learned this the hard way

You know what dumb blonde dude?  I don’t like you no more.  And is it solely because Logan is Tony… Maybe  [ngl, Logan's not bad this season.  Currently.]

Dude, Logan showing off

[Damn, but Zach is pissing me off]  I know

You know what?  Lintlicker is a horrible person, but he’s not racist. Gotta give him that.  [This is true!]

Okay, but this encounter between Max and Logan is pretty damn good, just saying.  Indeed, I'm coming to the conclusion that the s1!Max/Logan relationship actually... isn't that toxic.  Like, yeah, it’s got its issues, but it’s mainly not deeply problematic — just that she doesn’t want to admit that she’s growing close to him/developing a weakness, so she pushes him away; he’s refusing to admit his own feelings, so he pushes her away; and yet they both do care about the other, so it comes out in bickering and (should they have other relationships) light jealousy — in the way that “toxic” implies.  s2 is different, but s1?  Frankly, even the selfishness of her only going to him for help isn’t that problematic; they’re both, in essence, doing the same thing.  He offered his services as payment for her services, and they’re both trying to keep things professional despite their emotions not complying.  Like I said, s2 is different, but you’ll see that later.

These girls winking at him

OC!!! I love “the Afro puffs”

A smile!  I love it  [Half-smile]  Ya bastaaad  [You haven't seen him fully smile]  Yeah that won’t be for a while

☠️☠️  “Yummy”  I wouldn’t have trusted it  [AGREED]

"I'm an alcoholic; my name is Don" alkdsfja;lkdsjf  [Lintlickeraholic]

Oh god, my dude, shut up.  The music tho.  Is like he’s gonna turn into a monster and kill them all

"As you were" Buddy is damn military askldj  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [:(((]

[Poor Normal]  I KNEW HE SHOULDNT HAVE TRUSTED THEM

"As a small boy" aksldjflkajsf buddy!

“A HUMAN BRAIN”  [asdkfjlkj that's a lie, just to be clear]  I know

Herballl

This poor poor confused man

Buddy where are you putting the gun

These.  THESE PUNCHES.

His faces.  I’m dying.  Ded.  I’ve died.

[Okay, look, he's horrible, but.  It does bear mentioning that he knows their names still.  Just saying.]

This.  This bitch.  Just broke. His own finger. He is crazy af.  [Yup!  No excuses for him, but at least he holds himself to similar standards to those he holds his "kids", I guess?]  Meh, true.

– – –

Midpoint reaction: Ok so this one actually has my interest.  Zach… Well, buddy can go eat a di— he has annoyed me thoroughly, and Logan was very well composed to be dealing with such bullshittery.  So was the trainer — [Bling] — ‘cause, had buddy came at me with that attitude, I would have pressed on his wound and left.  

Lintlicker is *sigh*  well, he’s a bastard. Like, before I was just making fun of his name. But he was like just a typical bad guy looking for something he lost. He missed it everytime cause dudes kinda clueless. But yeah.  He is just a straight DICK in this one

And lastly WTF WERE THOSE PUNCHES

– – – 

☠️☠️☠️☠️ Omg  😂😂😂😂  [This is going wel- WHOA, DAMN, HERBAL!!!]  Herballl

Oh mah gawd im ded

This poor man  [This poor dude; all he tried to do was buy a messenger service!!!]

[Zach continues to annoy me.  I forgot he was this bad.]

Plot twist: Max comes back and they’re together.  [KSAJD;LFKJA;LDSKFJA;LKSFDJ]  Zogan  [Lach.  Because they LACH clothing]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [But also, please, god, no. That was a joke, nothing else!!!]

Oh Zach, shut up.  [Max and Logan are already bad enough about their relationship without you helping, buddy.]

Ma’am didn’t think this through too much

[Okay, it does bear mentioning; again, Lydecker is horrible.  But he does, perversely, care about his kids.  You'll see more later]  About like Brenner?  

– – –

Here we pause to have another “short” conversation:

Wench: Maybe, but more like... Like John.  Wants them skilled and capable and all; cares about them and will make the big sacrifices if necessary; has his priorities wayyyy the fuck wrong.  So, they keep bringing up the fact that Eva got shot.  And it's true, she did.  But --- and this is kinda a spoiler, but I've already spoiled it for you in past conversation, so... *shrugs* --- Lydecker has a supervisor at Manticore called Renfro.  And Renfro, later, kills one of Lydecker's "kids."  And it hurts/infuriates/bothers/whatever Lydecker so much that he actively turns his back on Manticore and helps Max/Zach/Logan/et al. start taking the place down.  (Assuming I'm remembering this correctly, but I think I am.)  He helps them break in, blow up the genetic stores that let them clone new soldiers, etc.  He's still around for part of season 2, ish, and he takes out more Manticore personnel (and, eventually, mysteriously disappears… I always figured he died for his betrayal, but I never read the books and don’t fully remember the show, so I don’t know if that’s confirmed/refuted).

Jezebel: Well shit! Respect… ish

Wench: Basically, he's like if you took Azazel and John and smushed them together.  His actions are largely inexcusable, but he does --- again, perversely and unhealthily --- care about them.  He wants them successful and doesn't much care about how he has to train them to get them there, but he still remembers their names, still cares about them, still wants them to be alive.  He pushes them to their limits, but, mostly, not beyond.  (e.g. yeah, that drowning scene was longer than was, per se, comfortable, but he also made sure no one died)  That doesn't rectify his behavior --- you know that I have very little fondness for either Azazel or John --- but it's something to consider.

Jezebel: Yeah I get it! I kinda hate it when they do that with characters, but like it at the same time. Hate, because if the guys bad. I want to not like him…. Not be able to justify him. But I like it cause I’m all about character development and a turn around story

Wench: He's definitely got the whole "Azazel's Chosen Kids" thing going, but it's not a competition; he's just got the weird, unhealthy care and willingness to do whatever it takes thing.  And he's very much like John in the abusive-as-fuck-but-also-distantly-cares thing.  Like, I don't like John --- he's horrible to all of his kids; his priorities are wayyy out of whack, and there are very few things that can be said to excuse his actions --- but I still accept that he cared about them.  It's one of those things that are hard to get; people can care, to some degree, about someone and still be unhealthy for them, you know?  And I think that he, at root, did care.  But a) he cared about revenge more and b) he felt that "keeping them safe" was equated with "caring" and "their only real, basic needs", and that screwed them up irreparably because his version of "being a good father" was not being a good father.  I think (hope) that was coherent… I’m still a bit drained from today, tbh, and I’m not sure I’m expressing myself well.

Jezebel: Oooof I feel ya.  And no, I fully get it

Jezebel, two seconds later: Wait, there are books?  And did I know that?

Wench: Yeah!  But apparently they're bad, treat Alec poorly, and don't do much with the story.  iirc. Idk, I haven’t read them for myself.  And no, I don't think you knew.

“Short” conversation of 20-plus minutes ends

– – – 

[Oof, this is already going well]  ☠️☠️☠️

[Also.  "Holy crap on Tuesday's toast" aksdjf]  Looool

Oh shit.  SHIT.

[Also, going back a few seconds… "You've got one of my kids"  See what I mean?]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ My dude

he said yes.  HE SAID YES!

NORMAL, you poor thing.  [I know right?!]

Omg.  I’m ded.  [No, Sketchy is]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Oh, wait, he's been revived  :)]

Oh shit, Brynn.  You good, buddy?  [OH SHIT I FORGOT THIS STORYLINE]

I don’t think you’re good

She's not good

Zach YOU good?  [Probably not]

[Max has no faith aksdfj  I don't remember if Lydecker is actually above-board in his betrayal or not, tbh, but I don't trust it, so.]

[Not Max annoying me again]  They knew they had to get someone hot for this role… ‘cause she’s so annoying.  Balance.   [alksjdflkasdjf ACCURATE]

[This dude gives me Samuel-Campbell-vibes, but he's not.]  Yeah I see it

“What I’ve got-”  (Is a specific set of skills)

Well hot damn  [“Deck” was ready]  Lintninja  [Oh no, not another nickname!  :)]

["Hung"?  "HUNG"?  HANGEDDDDDD, my dude.  HANGED]  ☠️☠️☠️ hung sounds better 👀🤷🏻‍♀️  [Bitch, no it doesn’t; it sounds grammatically incorrect.]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Once again: Lydecker with the perverse care for Brynn.  Is it in her best interests?  Hell, naw.  Is it genuine?  Yeah.

Aight, the tear got me… the face after lost it

These.  Well they don’t feel like normal sibling kisses.  Y’all too much.  [I knew you were gonna say something]

Ugly cry?  Ahhh wahhhh?  She old.  And y’all are just blowing all that wind in her face.

Poor Normal

☠️☠️☠️

[Okay, um.  Just saying.  Logan's shirt is nice.]  It is.

We ugly cried at each other for a little while. Then he took off

["So it couldn't be dusted for prints"  MA'AM HE ALREADY HAS YOUR PRINTS???? HE HAS YOUR GENETIC CODE, AND YOUR PRINTS FROM WHEN YOU WERE KIDS???  PRINTS DON'T REALLY CHANGE???]

– – –

Wench: askfdj that was such an abrupt end

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ bruh I was thinking the same damn thing.  Like… Wot

Wench: Anyway… endpoint reaction?

Jezebel: Lintlicker remains Lintlicker a little longer. BUT he gets some respect for the things he did in this one.

Wench: aka, still atrocious but not as bad as he could be? :)

Jezebel: Precisely.  And Zach…. Needs to learn to just suck it up. Cause *sigh* no. Just no.  Max was… Max. But not full on Max in this one. If that makes sense ☠️ she was bitchy but not in a god awful way.  Maybe because the ones she was bitchy to I don’t like, and she wasn’t to Logan.  Also how tf was she holding her self up to look like she was hanging… with her buttcheeks on the bar!?! Cause maams hands were down

Wench: kjzlksdjf;lakdjf;lkasjdf;lksajdflkajsdf;lkajsdf  I HAVE NO CLUE

Jezebel: Like. Could you imagine…. Being Brynn. Laying there dying and seeing that from the other side

Wench: How dare you put that image in my head???

Jezebel: Anyway.  Yeah!  I also LOVED.  LOVE LOVE LOVEDDDDDD.  The Jam Pony scenes

Wench: YESSSS  Herbal, OC, and Sketchy are amazing.  

Jezebel: They were very! Poor hippopotamus man, though

Wench: Poor Normal.  

Jezebel: Poor Normal’s toilet

Wench: Also, I can't remember Herbal being in s2, and it makes me sad.

Jezebel: Oh noooo

Wench: If he's there, he's got a way smaller role, but I don't think he is at all

Jezebel: But un-alas I really enjoyed this one!

Wench: Problem child; that's not a word.  (For those unfamiliar with my vernacular, “problem child” is not age-specific.  It’s a vibe thing.  My nine-year-older-than-me sister is as much a problem child as a five-year-old might be.)

Aight, that’s a wrap!  See y’all for next episode!