sometimes
9. holding hands across the table [Kazen/Elara]
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"Helmet off, LT."
She obeyed the soft-spoken command by instinct, the cold making her eyes water even inside the cave, before resuming course to examine the injured soldier.
The captain removed his, reddish brown hair ruffled and spiking, as he crouched by Saijin.
A more thorough look confirmed her initial analysis. "I can make him comfortable, sir, but there's nothing more to be done." She met Saijin's eyes--resigned and so young. "I'm sorry."
He just nodded. He knew. He'd known and hung on until someone arrived he could report to, who he could warn.
Dorne did what she could while Dryst listened to the pained rush of Saijin's report, warned Yuun, assured the dying corporal he'd done well.
He would be remembered.
It was only a moment before the light faded from Saijin's eyes and his labored breathing ceased.
The captain pushed to his feet, marked the coordinates for retrieval of the fallen, and offered her a hand up. They pulled their helmets on and got back to work.
It wasn't until after the mission was complete and they were back on the ship, Yuun settling in while they cleaned their gear, that she let curiosity get the better of her.
"Could I ask you something, sir?" she began, biting her lip.
"Anything, always," he said, head coming up to give her his full attention.
She smiled faintly, then set down the blaster she'd just finished reassembling. "With Saijin, why helmets off?" SOP dictated helmets stayed on in hostile environs like Hoth unless in a safe zone.
"I didn't need your training to tell the man was dying, Elara," he said heavily. "He deserved to see our faces, look in our eyes." He swallowed hard. "If I couldn't be fast enough to save him, least I could do was make sure the last thing he saw wasn't these emotionless buckets." A sharp rap of his knuckles against the helmet he'd been cleaning.
"Kazen..." She reached across the table to cover his hand with hers. She'd thought it would be something like that. It made her like him quite a lot more. "We did what we could. Sometimes... sometimes you can't account for everything. Sometimes soldiers die. And I know you know that," she added when he opened his mouth, "but sometimes-"
"-it helps to hear it," Kazen finished. He turned his hand to give hers a squeeze. "Thank you, Elara."
"Always," she said softly, squeezing back.
Their hands slid apart, focus returning to their tasks.
"He was so young," Kazen muttered as he smoothed out carbon scoring.
"He was." Barely any older than Aleksei. "But I think... I think he appreciated you making the effort. Sir."
He nodded, and they finished in silence.
Sometimes, doing what you could was all you had.
Sometimes that was enough. Sometimes it had to be.
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Drawings of an idea I had
very quick sketches bc im not at home rn
The idea is vague and not quite right but I love religious themes in my writing and q/c!philza is very religious in my head
hes married to a goddess itd be hard for him not to be yk?
basically just want to write about how religious trauma and Phil just so happens to be my favourite atm so he will suffer
Also also kinda spurred on by the "now i know how joan of arc felt" trend thingy on tiktok because i think that is such a fun line and it makes me skxhjabsjs as someone who deals with delusions and hallucinations and also happens to be a teenager
its fun and i like it and i like to project onto characters i like
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I'm so sorry if you get tired of answering asks about Pompey and Crassus BUT your response to the anon asking if Crassus let Pompey get away with things really got me thinking! Specifically about the way that Plutarch (I think?) says that Crassus didn't hold ill-will against Pompey for "stealing" his triumph. And how it feels like Crassus just kind of decided to shrug it off and instead asked Pompey for help for the consulship elections. Crassus seems so ruthless and direct while on the field, and I have so many questions about how he and Pompey worked together in Spoletium which will never be answered 😭 But then when it comes to politics I really can't see the pattern!
oh, I love talking about Crassus (and Pompey too, by extension), literally I can't stop. you can ask several people. I'll be talking about one thing, and all of a sudden: Crassus has entered the conversation. it's terrible, I can't stop. mostly, it takes me a thousand years to articulate my thoughts in any kind of way that makes sense.
I actually think that there are two times that Crassus subtextually calls Pompey a bitch, and the triumph incident is one of them!
specifically in that Crassus's comment about it:
Crassus, for all his self-approval, did not venture to ask for the major triumph, and it was thought ignoble and mean in him to celebrate even the minor triumph on foot, called the ovation, for a servile war.
Crassus is also not the first person to hold this sentiment.
Crassus' Ovation in 71 B.C., B.A. Marshall
I think it's important to remember that for Rome as a whole, the Third Servile War was terrifying because of the scale of the threat it posed to how an imperial wheelhouse running on a slave economy functions, but also because it's really fucking embarrassing for Rome's identity.
Crassus is also not the first person who commands the leading role against Spartacus. Spartacus goes through two other commanders before Rome asks Crassus to enter the scene. Crassus specifically is a private citizen when he is asked to step into this role: up until now, Rome's own praetors and consuls have failed to rise to the occasion.
Crassus' Ovation in 71 B.C., B.A. Marshall
Marcus Crassus and the Late Roman Republic, Allen Mason Ward
this is a deeply humiliating moment for the Roman reputation and identity. Pompey taking credit for Crassus' victory is an expected power grab, but it's also kind of cringe that he did it. Crassus was doing Roman's Duty To The State (or, if you like a spicier take on it, may have pulled strings for it. after all, you can't consider a man rich unless he can fund his own army. and the army Crassus brought with him for this was is own)
and so taking credit for that is like. man. this was NOT a "glorious war" that was fought. (Lucullus cites this as a blemish on Pompey's character during his vulture speech, it's very fun!)
so while Crassus may have realized that writing back to Rome and requesting back up was a mistake because whoever showed up would have the world's easiest time taking credit and accepted that it would happen, I do think that he took alternative measures to even the playing field in a 'okay sure, have your triumph, but don't think you're going to have it all,' kind of way because he also does this
Marcus Crassus and the Late Roman Republic, Allen Mason Ward
Pliny, Natural History 15.125
Gell. NA 5.6.23
Cic. Pis. 58
which does not strike me as the behavior of someone who is letting Pompey just run away with it without any kind of pushback.
and now to throw out literally everything I just said about the Triumph Incident, B.A. Marshall (whose article I've cited several times already in this) has an incredibly compelling case to make that there wasn't really as much conflict between the two over this as ancient narratives might indicate (which. seems to be a recurring theme with them)
Crassus' Ovation in 71 B.C., B.A. Marshall
I will stick to my narrative speculation that some of their respective peers probably thought it was at least embarrassing behavior on Pompey's part, because Lucullus has a lot of vitriol to direct at Pompey, and he does cite this incident as something negative to Pompey's overall character) someone who steals credit and glory from other people). so. hm. I think the assumed personal and periodically biting rivalry (in addition to the usual political rivalry) between the two is extremely fun, but so is. this. thoughts! much to think about.
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