#They are exploiting women but in an open relationship way so it’s still progressive

[coochiequeens]

Sis you should have left him there. Or just leave him anywhere.

My boyfriend, Rod, is passionately kissing another woman.

Little fingers of jealousy squeeze my insides, and I’m not sure where to look or what to do. The woman senses my discomfort and immediately stops, pulling me up beside her with a big, warm giggle and a squeeze. I relax and remember: This is why I chose her. I like her, I love that giggle, and I know she has absolutely zero interest in poaching my boyfriend.

How do I know this? Because I picked her out of the lineup at one of Nevada’s most storied legal brothels. We hired her to join us for a threesome for an hour, and when our time is up, she will go back out to the bar and charm someone else with that sexy laugh, and we will go home. 

I’d never had a “real” threesome before, other than some fairly benign fooling around in college. It had been a lifelong fantasy, but the emotional politics of threesomes always seemed so forbiddingly complicated. Surely someone would get hurt, someone would feel left out, someone would get jealous ― surely, maybe, definitely me? Plus that third-wheel ― would she turn stalker? Would we get an STI? Would an angry boyfriend show up out of nowhere and make us the unfortunate stars of a true-crime show? Just too risky. So I had resigned myself to the fact that some things are best left to fantasy. 

When I met a lover who knew his way around a paid hookup, however, a whole new possibility presented itself. Rod and I headed to the brothel outside Reno, Nevada, to celebrate my upcoming birthday. And it was not at all what I expected.

We took a cab from our hotel in downtown Reno to the brothel’s bar, all flashy neon outside but classic sticky floors and bare-bones Old West saloon inside. Escorts chatted among themselves on bar stools or lounged on velvet banquettes against the wall. It was early ― around 4 p.m. ― and we were some of the only patrons. A few old men sat at wooden bar tables, eating out of plastic foam TV trays and silently sipping beer. Women who obviously knew them would pop by periodically to pick them up, a scene much more akin to medical assistants ushering patients to the exam room than participants embarking on a sexy encounter. 

Rod and I were the subject of great interest ― couples are a fairly rare event ― and we had many friendly women cruise by our table, asking if we had any questions and offering to show us around. Before we had a chance to chat with anyone in detail, the “lineup” bell rang, and every patron who had not already initiated an encounter with a woman went through a forbidding dungeon-like door into a cavernous hunting lodge space.

In front of a giant stone fireplace the women lined up. They were every kind of everything ― all different races and body types and styles of dress. I found myself in a rare moment of simply admiring the beautiful diversity of their bodies without that knee-jerk need to compete or compare myself. I winced a bit self-consciously, however, when I realized that none of them were as old as I was. Would they be turned off by our middle-aged bodies? Wait, was I actually expecting them to be turned on? I was momentarily stumped.

The house manager ― a business-suited woman who was my age ― introduced each woman, who then stepped forward for a moment, gave a little wave and a smile, just like at a beauty pageant. A handsome young guy in the chair beside us made his pick immediately. His woman grinned and sashayed over to sit on his lap and gave him an enthusiastic greeting ― this was clearly not their first time together. The manager then asked any women who wanted to entertain couples to step forward, and about half of the line did. 

Rod and I had made an agreement before we arrived: I got to choose. I already knew that I wanted Carmen, the curvy, dark-haired woman in a fishnet dress and thong who had been the first to say hello to us in the bar. She was flirty and seemed happy. She was pretty and she had that giggle. So I pointed at her, while my nice-girl upbringing screamed at me silently: Pointing is so rude! The women without dates headed back to the bar and I felt another guilty stab as they filed past us. Had I made them feel rejected? Did they take it personally?

I didn’t have time to think about it because Carmen was shimmying on our lap, or, more specifically, on my lap as I sat on Rod’s lap. Pulling me up by the hand, and looping an arm around him, she led us to the negotiation room. It was a small room with dim lighting that resembled a hall closet and was just big enough for us all to sit knee to knee while we discussed what our hour might look like and what the price tag would be. 

Depending on what services we wanted, our time with Carmen could easily total a thousand dollars or more. She laid out her ground rules (condoms were always required; kissing was OK) and asked if we had any specific requests. Not really, we just want to have fun, we told her. We negotiated a price ― I gulped and Rod agreed. Then we offered up our genitals for inspection, a quick once-over she conducted with a sly sense of humor while she detailed the rigorous STI testing she undergoes every week. Oddly, the whole thing was reassuring and funny rather than awkward. STIs are taken very seriously at the brothel, which is obviously a good thing.

The unusual formalities over, we headed to the pay window and forked over the cash. Once we were finished, we followed Carmen down a maze-like hallway — a literal red light glowed everywhere ― and she pranced along ahead of us with a Champagne bottle in an ice bucket.

When we finally got to her room, a tiny, semi-personalized space, I was thrilled to find it was toasty ― I’m always freezing when I’m nervous. Carmen pointed out condoms, towels, the fresh sheets on the bed, and the adjoining bathroom (which she shared with the woman in the room next door). The little tour was a strange combination of straight commerce and flirtation. 

Carmen seemed to be a naturally touchy-feely person and she held my arm or tapped my back as she showed us around. I noticed that she focused her attention much more on me than Rod, which charmed me, but the cynical observer in me noted that it is an undoubtedly smart, practiced move — she is obviously well-versed in disarming the female competition and jealousy aspect of these encounters.

Things flowed effortlessly between Carmen and me, from our intro chatter to getting into the horizontal action, and within minutes Rod enthusiastically joined in, the three of us rotating around in a surprisingly fluid give-and-take. While he nominally took charge ― after all, a threesome needs a little direction ― it was overwhelmingly female-centered sex. I smiled to myself. Threesomes are such trite male-fantasy territory, but Carmen and I were a girl party of teamwork, exploration and celebration. I even joked at one point that we hoped Rod didn’t feel excluded. (He decidedly did not.) The whole experience was fun and sexy ― all I had hoped it would be ― with none of the awkwardness I had feared.

Carmen was unfailingly charming and enthusiastic, but I never once mistook her warmth for actual sexual excitement. There was no pretense on anyone’s part that this encounter was expected to include satisfaction for her. 

I asked her about this later, as we all lounged naked on the bed, sipping Champagne and chatting. She batted the question down with a polished little sidestep ― she explained that she has enough fun just making her clients happy, and it’s too much work to have orgasms all day long anyway. We asked her where she grew up (Venezuela) and how she got into this line of work. (She was initially a stripper but found brothel work safer, with less harassment and more money.) When I wondered aloud whether the post-coital chat was the best or worst part of the job, Carmen assured me she looks forward to connecting with customers and that the old saw is actually true: She often has clients who pay just to talk. 

Way too soon, an intercom buzzer rang and a female voice let us know our time was up. I had wondered about security ― surely there was a network of bouncers and cameras and intercoms and emergency buttons to protect the women, but everything was so discreet, we didn’t notice any of it. We jumped up and bustled around, helping Carmen strip the bed and straighten up (even though she insisted we didn’t have to) and then the three of us spilt out into the hallway. 

We returned to the bar where we began our adventure for some final chatter and a drink. We were sitting cozily together at a table and laughing at our own newly made inside jokes, when a young woman who looked fresh off a farm joined us. She clearly had a friendly relationship with Carmen and was eager to know, “What exactly do you do in a threesome?” As we happily shared our insights, she turned to me and said with a wink, “This is what happens to a girl when you raise her in a really strict, controlling religion!” I raised my glass and said, “That makes two of us, girlfriend! Amen!”

A drink suddenly arrived at our table for Carmen. It was sent from a gentleman at the bar, and she smiled and raised a toast to him. She got up immediately and, after squeezing my leg in a little goodbye, strutted over to him. I watched as they chatted for a few moments and then she linked her arm in his and led him over to the big lodge door. The last thing I heard as it swung shut behind them was that warm, bubbly giggle, and I found myself sad to see her go. I guess I was jealous after all.

Melissa Duge Spiers is an award-winning screenwriter and memoirist, whose memoir-in-progress, “The Glory Whole,” won the Book Pipeline 2021 Unpublished Manuscript Non-Fiction award. She is represented by Dani Segelbaum/The Carol Mann Agency. For more from her, visit her Instagram at @mdugespiers.

[feministdragon]

"

“Only connect.” This sums up the political perspective of ecofeminism, as Ariel Salleh writes in the foreword of the book Ecofeminism, by Maria Mies and Vandana Shiva. The article below pays tribute to the memory of Maria Mies, who passed away on May 16th, and who for so many years has been an inspiration as an intellectual and militant for so many of us, grassroots feminists waging ecological struggles.

Maria Mies was a German sociologist who greatly contributed to feminism, especially ecofeminism, with her formulations about development, the dynamics of accumulation, globalization, and ecological crisis. She especially looked into the patriarchal and colonial oppression of women from the global South, and she was an important interlocutor with thinkers including Vandana Shiva and Silvia Federici. Salleh argues that “ecological feminists are both street-fighters and philosophers.” Mies was one of them, as many of us are.

Only connect. No other political perspective—liberalism, socialism, feminism, environmentalism—can integrate what ecofeminism does: why the Roma people are still treated like animals; why women do 65 per cent of the world’s work for 10 per cent of its wages; why internet images of sexually abused children generate millions of dollars; why chickens are bred only for livers and wings; or why the Earth itself is manipulated as a weapon of war. Species loss is endemic; peak water is on the way; soils are losing organic integrity; the atmosphere is riven by angry storms. Ariel Salleh

“Only connect” is a political perspective that Maria Mies adopted to the nth degree. By doing so, she revealed to us the profound connections between patriarchy, capitalism, and colonialism, building a radical theory for the liberation of women and the peoples.

In line with other ecological feminists, she reminds us in her book Patriarchy and Accumulation on a World Scale—recently translated into Portuguese by the Sycorax collective and published by Ema Livros—that the paradigm of never-ending growth and progress is a patriarchal myth. It is a paradigm that cannot become true, both because we live in a materially finite world and because the condition for the progress of certain societies, under capitalism, is the exploitation of others.

In this sense, Mies also challenges what we would now call “techno-solutionism,” challenging the idea that, under a socialist society, technological development would ensure the expansion of workers’ free time. Her key argument is the fact that the development of technology has historically relied on the exploitation of the territories and the peoples of the global South, through mega power and mining projects, for example.

In her perspective, expanding women’s free time is an important topic that has to be considered in tandem with the transformation of the sexual division of labor. She argues that these two transformations could not be ensured by technology, but rather by establishing a political stance of appreciating the labor that reproduces life and challenges the division between leisure and socially necessary labor. This is especially important for freeing women’s time and labor, because most labor carried out by women is not alienated labor: they produce life and use value, including care and agriculture for own consumption. So the issue is not about reducing as much as possible the existence of this labor by replacing it with technology, but rather appreciating it, placing it at the center of the economy, and building work relationships that are interwoven with rest and pleasure.

Maria Mies has also opened the way with her formulations about the division between productive and reproductive labor. She rejected the way this division is usually understood, in which the labor that generates surplus value—and often the exploitation of nature with the exploitation of labor—is rendered productive, while the labor that generate the reproduction of life is deemed “reproductive.” She daringly suggests that productive labor is labor that generates life and use value, important for most people, including education, care, and food—while labor that only generates surplus value and destruction, like the death industries (weapons, agrochemicals, relentless mining exploitation) is “destructive” labor and should cease to exist.

To make this happen, Maria Mies reminds us that the countries in the global South must necessarily build their sovereignty with more self-sufficient economies. By challenging the international division of labor, she proposed a more decentralized production and consumption model, which would reduce the alienation of labor and lead to a positive ecological impact.

By providing harsh, well-formulated criticism and designing propositions for a horizon of emancipation, Maria Mies fed our feminist imagination. This imagination is ever more necessary so that we do not adopt a cynical, defeated stance in face of the sheer amount of connected crises we are facing. “Only connect” is an imperative to find ways to destroy the systems of domination—all at once."

[shamandrummer]

Winona LaDuke: Native Environmentalism

I had the opportunity to meet Winona LaDuke and hear her speak at a conference years ago. LaDuke is a renowned Anishinaabe environmentalist, economist, writer and past two time vice-presidential candidate (with Ralph Nader), known for her work on tribal land claims and preservation, as well as women's rights. She is from the Makwa Dodaem (Bear Clan) of the White Earth Reservation in northern Minnesota. LaDuke was raised in Ashland Oregon, the daughter of Betty Bernstein and Vincent (Sun Bear) LaDuke. Her Anishinaabe father worked as an actor in Hollywood in supporting roles in Western movies before establishing himself as an author and spiritual leader in the 1980's. Her mother is an artist and writer who has gained an international reputation for her murals, paintings and sketches. LaDuke attended Harvard University, Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Antioch University. She has testified at the United Nations, U.S. Congress, state hearings, and is an expert witness on economics and the environment. She advocates primarily for the protection of the environment and the rights of women. In 1985, LaDuke helped found the Indigenous Women's Network. She worked with the Native organization Women of All Red Nations to publicize American forced sterilization of Native American women. In 1989, LaDuke founded the White Earth Land Recovery Project in Minnesota with the proceeds of a human rights award from Reebok. The goal is to buy back land in the White Earth Indian Reservation that non-Natives bought and to create enterprises that provide work to Anishinaabe. LaDuke is humorous, enlightening and above all political. She speaks with a Native voice without altering her language for non-Natives. Her words differ from establishment thinking and offer new ways of understanding the world and the solutions we need for the great issues of climate change. She conveys a beautiful and daring vision of political, spiritual and ecological transformation. LaDuke spoke at length about Native environmental issues and challenges. Despite making up a tiny fraction of the world's population, Indigenous peoples hold ancestral rights to some 65 percent of the planet. This poignant fact conveys the enormous role that Native peoples play not only as environmental stewards, but as political actors on the global stage.

All over the world, Native peoples are engaged in battles with hostile corporations and governments that claim the right to set aside small reserves for Native people, and then to seize the rest of their traditional territory. They are confronting the destructive practices of industry and leading the charge against climate change, while defending the rivers, forests and food systems that we all depend on. At the same time, they are blocking governments from eroding basic rights and freedoms and turning to the courts of the world to remedy over 500 years of historical wrongs. Native peoples are putting their lives on the line and fighting back for political autonomy and land rights. And all the while, they are breathing new life into the biocultural heritage that has the potential to sustain the entire human race.

Native Americans often articulate alternative environmental perspectives and relationships to the natural world. Indigenous mythologies and oral traditions express a non-anthropocentric environmental ethic. Indigenous groups offer ancient tried-and-tested knowledge and wisdom based on their own locally developed practices of resource use. And, as Native peoples themselves have insisted for centuries, they often understand and exhibit a holistic, interconnected and interdependent relationship to particular landscapes and to the totality of life, animate and inanimate, found there.

Perhaps the most important aspect of Indigenous cosmology is the conception of creation as a living process, resulting in a living universe in which a kinship exists between all things. Thus the Mother Earth is a living being, as are the Sun, Stars and the Moon. Hence the Creators are our family, our Grandparents or Parents, and all of their creations are children who are also our relations. LaDuke captured the essence of this concept when she said: "Native American teachings describe the relations all around--animals, fish, trees, and rocks--as our brothers, sisters, uncles, and grandpas...These relations are honored in ceremony, song, story, and life that keep relations close--to buffalo, sturgeon, salmon, turtles, bears, wolves, and panthers. These are our older relatives--the ones who came before and taught us how to live."

The industrialized West is largely unaware of how Indigenous societies have functioned, and the strengths they possess that industrial cultures have lacked. Our notions of progress are based on the idea that high tech means better and that industrial cultures are somehow more advanced socially. The current state of our threatened environment demands that communication channels be opened for dialogue and engagement with Native environmental ethics.  

When describing Indigenous environmental activism, LaDuke said, "Grassroots and land-based struggles characterize most of Native environmentalism. We are nations of people with distinct land areas, and our leadership and direction emerge from the land up." Each nation and community has its own unique cultural traditions linked to the land.

LaDuke detailed how different groups of Native people are contending with environmental issues and are seeking to address them at the local, community level. They are also forming national and international organizations that seek to help individual nations, in large part through information sharing and technical assistance. In the final analysis, however, each nation, reserve, or community has to confront its own issues and develop its own leadership. This must be stressed over and over again: each sovereign Native nation will deal with its own environmental issues in its own way. There is no single Native American government that can develop a collective Indigenous response to the crisis we all face. LaDuke emphasized that the environmental awareness of many Native American groups translates into a high level of respect for women in their communities. A good deal of evidence has shown that when women have high status, education, and choices, they tend to greatly enrich a community and to stabilize population growth. Many traditional American societies have been able to maintain balance with their environments because of the high status of women, a long period of nursing for infants, and/or the control of reproductive decisions by women. Many of the leaders in the Native struggle today are women. LaDuke pointed out that respect and humility form the foundation of Native lifeways, since they not only lead to minimal exploitation of other living things but also preclude the arrogance of colonial missionary activity, secular imperialism, and the oppressive patriarchy. She noted that: "In each deliberation we consider the impact on the seventh generation from now. Everything we have today we inherited, we are very, very fortunate today that our ancestors were strong people. We’re very, very fortunate that our ancestors took care of this land so well. We also know that those who are not yet here are counting on us not to mess this up…they’re counting on us to make sure that there will be water for them to drink, that there will still be fish, that the air will not be so poisoned or so hot that they cannot live."

Native people are not only trying to clean up uranium tailings, purify polluted water, and mount opposition to fossil fuel extraction; they are also continuing their spiritual ways of seeking to celebrate and support all life by means of ceremonies and prayers. As LaDuke told us in closing: "In our communities, Native environmentalists sing centuries-old songs to renew life, to give thanks for the strawberries, to call home fish, and to thank Mother Earth for her blessings."

[rainystudios]

Here’s a list of resources you can use to learn more about Japanese Queer history, literature, BL, Gei Komi, Fujoshi, Fudanshi etc.

fujoshi.info

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Edit: It’s honestly depressing that anyone I’ve seen so far who disliked this post and commented on it either went off on completely unrelated tangents, or assumed that I'm either white (I’m not) and/or not gay/queer as an excuse to talk over me. It’s extremely ironic claiming to be open-minded/progressive while removing any association of queerness from people who discuss BL/Fujoshi history as an excuse to talk over them. “You’re gonna say your as oppressed as gay people???” hello, I am a gay POC.

People who perpetuated the Anti Fujoshi narrative were terfs and you’re actually being transphobic by spreading their narratives. They call trans MLM fujoshi because they hate trans men and see them as “fetishistic” women. They don’t see trans men as men, they see them as women.

Just like how people who hate trans women call them “fetishizers” since the 1970s in western anti-trans circles. That’s it. That’s where it comes from.

These same people even censor Queer which was also perpetuated by TERFs as a means of excluding trans/nonbinary/intersex identities.

Either read the masterposts in the links or leave, but stop getting into fights with your own strawmen on my posts.

//

Sidenote, I find it interesting (and by interesting I mean disgusting & disappointing) how the term ‘Fujoshi’ has come full circle in western culture to mean: ‘rotten women, degenerates, women who ruin everything, women who are ruined/deviant/corrupted, Abusers etc. etc.’ When it originated as an overall general term for women who didn’t conform to conventional gender & heterosexual roles & standards in Japan. That was it. That’s all it meant.

They were literally considered “ruined women” not fit for marriage or regular society. It was deeply misogynistic & homophobic in root. Female fans were referred to as Fujoshi whether they were “exploitative” of M/M relationships or not. Simply appreciating or engaging in queer relationships to any degree was seen as “rotten” and deemed someone a Fujoshi. The term is NOT exclusive to people who are seen as fetishizing said content/relationships. It’s a reclaimed term still actively used to this day in Japan.

Western fandom has taken this reclaimed word that comes from Japanese context & culture, and weaponized it all over again. To the point where people don’t even remotely know what it means in historical terms and throw it around with smug abandon. To the point where if they saw a Japanese person use it, would likely unleash a full-scale hate campaign against them. I don’t know if some newer western self identified Fujoshi are somehow using the term wrong as well but I’m talking about the actual REAL original meaning & context that has only become present day warped in western fandom, and is used to attack women & lgbt+ ppl who dare mention the term. (Or label them as such to deem certain ppl as fandom undesirables.) It’s embarrassing.

I’ve literally seen people say ‘time to reclaim X series from the Fujoshis! :^)’ When the original author of said work they’re celebrating... Would be considered a Fujoshi...

Fujoshi isn’t synonymous with ‘exploitative nasty straight women’. 

Many of these women were & are queer themselves and “BL”, Yaoi & Yuri works are all a means to explore gender identity, sexuality, empowerment, etc.  Lots of iconic shojo series overlap with themes present in a lot of these works too. It’s not a coincidence (Utena, Sailor Moon, Fruits Basket, etc.) 

Many people I know personally who also grew up with BL works, including myself later discovered “Oh I’m bi, I’m genderfluid, I’m nonbinary, I’m trans, etc.” The past few decades BL has still been ‘taboo’ for having queer relationships, but at least in western culture it was a “safe” way to engage in these stories when LGBTQ+ media was actively shut out from main stream media. People didn’t pay attention to manga or comics, so buying them, borrowing them, reading them could be done almost in plain sight. While most of us didn’t identify/call ourselves Fujoshi we’d still be considered Fujoshi, make sense?

I implore you all to at least do some research and read academic articles BY Japanese women & other older fans about these topics before subscribing to the misinformed hate-wagon and bastardizing a non-western term beyond recognition.

I also find it worth mentioning that Fujoshi & Fudanshi both refer to women & men respectively who are “corrupt/rotten/disposable” for enjoying M/M relationships in any fashion. Sexualizing men is seen as inherently negative. 

(This is a side topic but there is even a whole paper (I dont think it’s been published yet? I know this because I attended a conference where she presented last month) done by Kazumi Nagaike who found that there are self identified Fudanshi men who identify as straight & read BL manga because its the only media in which they can experience a male character receiving romantic affection, attention and being comforted and cared for lovingly) They actively hide it though because it would be seen as shameful. Fujoshi & Fudanshi culture isn’t as shallow & degenerate as these westerners make them seem.)

But, there is no mainstream term (if any) for individuals who write about/enjoy or sexualize F/F relationships, and if there IS a term I’ve never seen anyone use it or make a big fuss over it to remotely the same degree. No “lets reclaim these yuri/lesbian characters from those nasty men >:)” large scale campaigns. It’s always women & queer fans that get thrown under the bus.

Here’s a great master post with numerous sources and further in depth explanations I would just end up copypasting so here’s the link instead

[invisibleinorange]

A Different Ending |  4/?

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)

Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.

Benedict Bridgerton was hardly a virgin. He’d been with plenty of women through the years who all understood that nothing was going to come of the dalliance. He hadn’t ever been with someone who actually meant something to him.  He couldn’t earnestly say that he was in love with Penelope at this point but with every passing day of their marriage, he certainly grew to admire her more.

That admiration was why it was easy to find affection and intimacy in ways that weren’t overtly sexual in nature. They spent their days taking leisurely strolls and leaning against each other while they enjoyed their personal exploits.  She’d read to him from whatever book she’d stolen from the library and he’d spend the afternoons sketching away.  

In the evenings, they would go to bed together and while neither saw fit to initiate kissing they had progressed to curling into each other.  Sometimes, Penelope would curl into his chest and others his arms around her middle. Regardless of the form it took, they would lay there talking until sleep inevitably took them.

It was something they had both come to look forward to.  Penelope had never quite felt like she belonged anywhere as much as she did in Benedict’s company. Sometimes it took her by surprise how right it all felt.  She hadn’t really thought she could have a happy ending.  She’d always thought it something meant for her sisters.

Her life had been so different mere weeks ago and yet it felt like another lifetime ago.  She’d thought her heart might never heal after Colin had died, especially when she’d learned that he’d done so thinking she was sore with him. She was actually happier than she felt she deserved though.

“I should probably write something about our honeymoon,” she told him from a desk in their bedroom where she’d taken to writing her latest article for Lady Whistledown.

Benedict saw propped against the pillows. He was dressed but his shirt was undone slightly. His hair was messy because he’d just completed a bit of nap.  He gazed over to her affectionately.

Eloise had not wasted any time ending her letters about what was happening at home though not much happened in the short time since they left.  Benedict had been pleasantly surprised that Penelope had already worked out how to ensure publication was not stalled in her absence from London though.  It was impressive for a woman to be so savvy.

“Well how do you think our honeymoon should be reported?” her asked from where he was sitting. “Are we the vision of newlywed bliss or misery?”

She laughed softly.

“Bliss,” she told him sincerely before scribbling some words on the paper.  She smiled before lifting the page, gaze moving toward his as she decided to read the excerpt.  “While most of London’s gaze turns to those who will seeking their match in the coming season, this writer is happy to report that the off-season wedding of one Benedict Bridgerton to Penelope Featherington has proven fruitful. Sources report that they have may forsake London all together – as they are particularly fond of their bed as most newlyweds prove to be.”

“It’s true,” Benedict said with a laugh before petting the space on the bed next to him.  “I think you should return to bed.”

“As you wish.”

Penelope laughed putting down her article that she’d have to finish later, ignoring the ink stains on her fingers to go climb back into the bed. She moved right into Benedict’s waiting arms, curling into his warm body.  He pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of her head.

“I’ve actually been thinking about our future home,” he told her after a moment, eyes closed as he just enjoyed having her close.

“I thought you’d found a few places that might work,” she told him quietly.

“Yes but none are good enough,” he confessed.  “I found some undeveloped land in Kensington.  It would take a little longer but have someone build us the perfect house.”

“I’m going to be happy as long as we have food and a bed to sleep in,” she told him honestly.  “You know that it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“I know that but it won’t stop me from providing it. I was thinking you could have your own study for your writing and not just for Whistledown,” he told her, happy to encourage your passion.  “Most houses would only have one and while we could convert a room to one, we’ll need the room for when we have company or children.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d casually mentioned a future with children in it but it was the first time since they’d been married.  It was kind of strange to think about filling a home with them when their intimacy hadn’t quite evolved to the point where there was even potential to children.  It was always reassuring to hear them mentioned though because it meant that they would get there.

“You’ll need space for your art too,” she told him after a moment. “If we’re going to go all in on this, we should both have whatever we need to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” he told her honestly, arms tightening around her.  His face buried in her hair, a hand idly moved to play with some of her curls. “Whatever you want you’ll get but… the point is that this might mean living in my former bachelor quarters for a little while.”

“I’ve never actually seem it.  Tell me about it,” she told him relaxing against him, encouraging him to tell her about what was going to be their temporary home in the coming weeks. Daphne and the Duke had been generous but they couldn’t stay in the country forever.

“It’s smaller without a proper staff,” he told her after a moment.  “It’s in Piccadilly near Albany Hall.  It’s certainly less grand than the family home but it is private.  I kept two bedrooms just in case one of my brothers ended up needing to stay.  It’s quite simple though.  There is a pretty nice stairwell to the roof though and I’ve been fond of going up there and taking in the city.”

“I can see why you weren’t in a hurry to end your bachelorhood,” she told him with a small smile.  “I mean, I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I wished there to be an escape from my mother’s home.”

“I’d say it was a pretty fair trade,” he told her earnestly.  “I’m glad my mother meddled and brought you home to us. I don’t know that I would have convinced you to accept me if she hadn’t.”

“We’ll never know,” Penelope said with a playful smile.  

--

There were almost always charcoals and paper nearby.  Benedict had moments where he didn’t feel inspired but he had taken to sketching in the early mornings before the light became so bright that Penelope would be awake to watch him do it.

It was one thing for her to provide commentary when he was sketching inanimate objects or flowers but when he found himself particularly inspired by the look on her face as she slept or the way the fabric of her nightgown clung to her he was scared of her judgment.

His lips tightened as his eyes moved back and forth between her sleeping form and the paper,  knowing that whatever he put to paper wouldn’t equal to how adorable she when she having a pleasant dream.

Normally he had enough focus to know when she was about to wake, so he could stop but his focus had been on the shading of her curls when he felt arms curl around him from behind.

Her face buried into his shoulder for a moment before looking up.

He heard her surprised sigh and he braced himself for her to say something negative but she didn’t.

“You were sketching me?” she asked in surprise.  Her eyes lit up in recognition of her own form, in the fact that she actually looked quite beautiful in Benedict’s art even when she didn’t see herself as beautiful.

“I’ve been doing a little bit every day,” he confessed.  “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”

“I’m flattered,” she told him, moving to sit in his lap sideways, moving the charcoals from his hand to the table. “You’ve made me look beautiful.”

Benedict raised an eyebrow at that.

“You are beautiful,” he told her firmly.

Their eyes found each other and he expected her to argue it but instead she leaned in and captured his mouth. It caught him completely and utterly off guard and he knew he froze for a second before melting into it. Her lips were soft and desirable.

One of his hands found the back of her head, fingers curling in the red locks. Between the proximity and her kisses, his body was beginning to respond and warning lights began to go off in his head. It would be all too easy to carrying her across the small distance from his chair to their bed and take her.   He could literally feel himself getting more aggressive with her. He had to stop himself.

“Pen,” he murmured softly against her mouth, when he forced himself to pull back. He was her husband and there was absolutely no reason why he couldn’t do whatever he wanted but he’d always prized himself on being gentle, patient.  In this moment, he wasn’t sure he could temper himself.  He needed to step away but it was difficult with her in his lap, especially when he was cognizant of the fact she was still in her nightgown.

“Is there something wrong?” she asked eyes fluttering open, gaze questioning.

He could have laughed if it wouldn’t have been misconstrued.

“You’re perfect,” he told her, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head before gently moving her off him so he could rise to his feel. “—I was just thinking that maybe I should try and find someone to get us some breakfast.”

Penelope frowned slightly from her new standing position.

“You don’t have to go,” she told him.

He wasn’t quite sure how to explain it to her though, especially as his eyes cast over her from the door frame that he’d made a point to get himself too.

“Yes I do,” he said resolutely before disappearing down the hall to regain some level of self-control.

[betamaxburns]

burnsmithers marxist analysis essay

truly the essay no one asked for

the core conflict of bsmits does not reside in my head as simple internalized homophobia, rather it is a more complex lack of communication and an alienation of the self. there’s marxist theory in here but i’m not going to cite my sources for simpsons men. read your theory.

monty is above society due to his wealth. never has he had to adhere to any strict societal rules because he can buy his way out of them all. his sexuality is no exception. but this freedom to love men and women equally comes at a cost, namely, how he views relationships. being born into wealth teaches you to view everything as transactional: power, wealth, and love. he forms no real meaningful relationships other than maybe recurring hookups because he sees anyone he beds as just a means to an end (be it potential blackmail or just hedonistic pleasure). i think he progressed through a lot of his life like this, maybe slowing down once he got older but never fully stopping. he still sleeps with people at his old age but to him it’s more of a game to stroke his own ego. he’s still got it no matter how old he gets. all the while he is alienated from his feelings, never fully forming bonds with anyone besides business partnerships and socialite acquaintances. he doesn’t know how to love because he’s never had to. love to him is a weakness that forces you to make irrational business decisions.

waylon is the petit bourgeois, he aspires to rise through capitalism to monty’s level by any means necessary. he fell in love with monty for reasons outside his money, yes, but that wasn’t completely it. waylon has always been attracted to power. he wants the luxuries of monty’s lifestyle, and being his assistant gets him close. though he is closer to the workers in terms of economic and societal standing, he is an active class traitor. he does not hesitate to put down or demote workers that get in his way of his goals. he looks for opportunities to make himself sound better, like discovering a rising employee is defrauding their paltry health insurance. he actively helps in union busting, strike repression, and hiring scabs. he would do this regardless if he considered monty a romantic interest- it is done as an attempt to impress a potential access point into that world of the rich.

at the core of it, we must ask ourselves this: why would waylon fall in love with a man repeatedly proven to be a ruthless capitalist? there is nothing forcing them together. waylon’s skills and experience as a sycophant are highly valued and his position with monty would allow him the connections to leave if he wished. the simplest answer is that waylon wants to be him. he sees burns’ ill gotten wealth as something to aspire to. smithers is fully immersed in the american capitalist dream of rags to riches and wants so desparately to achieve that for himself by any means possible. we must remember that waylon chose this path. he is not a minimum wage worker scraping by, he is a decently compensated office man. conversely, why would burns fall for anyone below his social standing? monty is attracted to waylon's capitalist desire for profit, enough to the point it drives out his worries of class divide. he is willing to accept waylon as a partner because waylon does not act like a member of the proletariat or even the petty bourgeois, he acts like a true exploiter through and through.

miscommunication is a common joke between the two in the show, but why shouldn’t this extend further? monty is smart enough to operate under the assumption that his workers are straight to avoid any conflicts with ideology. passes at waylon could be too outdated, waylon might willfully ignore any attempts at closeness as wishful thinking, any number of reasons. though monty and waylon are both secure in their personal understanding of their sexuality, their communication together is woefully lacking. class barriers, attempts at performing heteronormativity for the other in a misguided assumption that the other is straight, all impact their attempts to portray their love.

how do you give to a man who doesn’t solely ask for wealth or sex like monty's other partners did? how do you cope with the fact that for once you want to give him something more than just empty presents? at first, monty doesn’t. he’ll fall back on a transactional view of relationships. a game of “you owe me a coke” taken to extremes, with more hedonistic iterations each time. but even while he puts a pack of coke on waylon’s desk and asks for something dirty, it doesn’t fill the hole in his heart. he’s too afraid to open himself up to a man who wants more out of fear of not having much more to give. he feels he’s always cold and cruel, and surely waylon deserves more than such a heartless old monster. waylon worries he’s not good enough, that monty will decide it’s just another fling and drop him. on and on this continues, trying not to seem too attached to the other for fear of heartbreak. eventually something snaps, they argue and get it all out in the open and realize how silly their fears were, how they truly do feel deeply for the other.

monty learns to be more human from waylon. he learns that relationships can be about much more than money and sex and there are lots of ways to express your love. but this transactional view is never fully demolished. over the years waylon became complacent in this viewpoint himself. working under monty he finally understands the value of treating human lives as simple commodities to use and dispose of when no longer necessary. they are both co-conspirators in worker exploitation and extracting as much wealth as possible from the masses. they are the perfect power couple, always plotting ways to increase their profit margin and cut costs after a long session in bed together.

and perhaps buried somewhere deep within both of them is how to ruin the other, how to completely take over the company and run it better without the other.

but as a wise man once said: dick too bomb

[nad-zeta]

Hi, hi! I'm not following you for long, but I already love here! ♡ Can I ask a HC? Suddenly, I've been thinking about Yukimura, Ieyasu and Mitsunari, more specifically their lack of experience with women. I believe they've never been with a woman before MC, because of reasons (two tsunderes and too focused on work, respectively). So I'd like to ask for their first time with MC, if that's ok. Maybe forget they did it in their route? Sorry if I wasn't very clear, English is not my native language♡

Hehehe, thank you so much for the request, love! I could feel myself blushing the entire time while writing this lolz. I had to ask my brother what it’s like for a boy’s first time, so yeah, that was a strange conversation. Anyways here you go love, I hope you enjoy it!

It’s noting to NSFW but lolz I don’t know, I guess I would rate this read at own discretion lol PG13 

First Time HC with Yukimura, Mitsunari, Ieyasu 

Yukimura

So its no secret this boy has like 0 woman communication skill, he has basically spent most of his life training and fighting battles

But that all changed when he met you

You were the first woman he has ever been in a relationship with or even loved for that matter

Your relationship with this boy officially started when he kissed you on new years eve while the fireworks were going off

That was the first time he had ever kissed well anyone in his life, and after he thought darn why haven’t I done this before its great.

The two of you were starting to get really serious and you have been dropping hints like mad to take your relationship to the next level.

Yukimura knew you were dropping hints and during you intimate cuddle sessions he would always look for an excuse to delay doing THAT

Lol it was time to get some expert advice

He went to Shingen bright red, and before even opening his mouth, Shingen knew what was up

“So my little boy has finally decided to become a man, I’m so proud” Shingen said as he used his hand towel to dab the fake tears in the corner of his eyes

“I knew this was a bad idea,” before Yuki could leave Shingen grabbed his shoulder and sat him down

By the time Shingen was done with his explanation this poor boy was so red, and he felt like he was going to melt in a puddle of embarrassment

He left Shigens room in a daze, Sasuke saw his friend and instantly knew what had just gone down.

It was now Sasuke’s turn to impart knowledge, halfway through the explanation Kenshin walked into the room. Lol even he had some words of advice for Yuki. “Wait, but I thought you hated women.” To that Kenshin simply rolled his eyes and left giving one last final piece of advice

Today was the day, Yuki was 100% determined

The two of you are laying together in bed as you’ve done a 100 times before

Yukimura is overwhelmed with the overload of the advice and you can definitely tell something is up

You peer into his eyes asking him what is wrong

He covers his face with a pillow muttering into it that it’s his first time and he is a bit nervous

You take the pillow off his face and gaze into his amber eyes reassuring him, you now were also a blushy mess cause it was your first time too

Yuki immediately propped himself up on one arm and looked at you a little shook, “wait, really.” “yeah dummy so let’s figure this out of together okay”

He smiled and nodded

There was a lot of fumbling and awkwardness at first and both of your faces were red AF

In the beginning, there was lots of laughing at how nervous both of you were

Yuki kissed and touched you softly, loving and unhurried.

Each touch was tender and warm

As nervous as the two of you were, you wanted to take your time and make the experience last, taking your time exploring, touching and loving one another

Yukimura moves slow and lovingly, making sure you are comfortable and okay the whole time

His face will be close to you’re the whole time, either resting his forehead on your or kissing you, cause it is his first time he wants to take in your beautiful face and perfect body. 

He honestly can’t help but get lost in your beautiful eyes

This boy worships your body thanx to all daddy Shingen’s advice

Loves your soft moans, it definitely gives him the confidence he needs to keep going

The whole affair is very awkward, loving and gentle

Once he has reached his orgasm, he will keep going until you reach yours, Shingen didn’t raise no selfish boy

When both of you are tired and spent from the hours of lovemaking, he will clean you up and give you some tea or water. Will cuddle and snuggle the shit out of you whispering how much he loves you (Thanks to Kenshin’s softie boy advice). Watches you fall asleep while stroking your hair. Will fall asleep while hugging think about just how much he adores you

Mitsunari

The two of you have been together now for quite some time

Mitsunari has definitely been feeling an unknown feeling lately when the two of you are cuddling together

The poor little angel is so confused about what is going on with his body

Will go talk to Hideyoshi about it, and Hideyoshi will basically give him a crash course about everything he would need to know. 

Mitsunari still feels like there is more to be learned on this subject at hand

And what does Mitsunari do when he knows limited knowledge about a subject, jip research

Basically becomes a sex scholar now, he will learn everything and anything he can, even consulting some of his warlord friends

When the two of you are cuddling while reading together as you’ve done many nights before, he can’t help but start kissing your soft skin

He looks all cool and calm on the outside, but this boy be nervous

You look up into his Amathist eyes and see something you haven’t yet seen, desire.

This ain’t your first rodeo, and you have been waiting for the moment that Mitsunari would want to get a bit more intimate.

Mitsunari confessed to you that it was his first time, you reassure him by telling him, you will teach him everything you know

He starts by running his fingertips along your body, just savoring the the feeling of your soft skin

Mitsunari wants to take his time getting to know your body and finding all those spots that would bring you immense pleasure

He will kiss every inch of your body until his lips feel numb

He wants you to convey just how much he loves you through the gentle touches and kisses

Will spend most of his time pleasuring you, he has discovered that he LOVES eating you out!

Who knew this angel could be so naughty

This boy has discovered the art of teasing, will find each of your sweet spots and exploit them

He wants to feel you shiver beneath him, he loves you so much and wants to know that you want him as much as he wants you

This angel boy will legit give you his most innocent angelic smile while teasing the shit out of you- seems like he consulted with Mitsuhide

His actions are slow, soft, gentle and teasing

He is making love instead of merely just having sex

Will whisper the sweetest things in your ears the whole time

Will give you constant compliments, as well as ask you if you would like him to do anything, he will follow each one of your instructions to a T

Will gently clean you up afterward, he is really attentive and super sweet afterward, He just wants to love and hold you.  Angel boy will be pressing soft kisses into your hair, while spooning you from behind. He might even read you a sweet story to lull you into sweet dreams

Ieyasu

This tsundere boy has never found anyone who could love his fluffy contrary ways, until he met you

Gosh he loves you so so much

One day you went to his palace to visit him, the two of you had been in a relationship for a super long time now.

You guys were just chilling and having tea when all of a sudden it started raining

It was getting pretty late, and as the day progressed it seemed to get colder

Ieyasu went to light the fireplace and sat next to you wrapping a warm blankie around the two of you

Honestly, he has wanted to go down on you and is constantly desiring you, he is just super good at hiding it but now thanks to the rain, the mood and atmosphere was perfect

He doesn’t waste a moment he immediately reaches for you and starts kissing you softly, slowly moving down your neck

He picks you up and gently put you down on his futon, he is looking at you questioningly, you nod and give him the go-ahead.

The rain creates the perfect dim lighting

He hovers over you for a few moments just taking in your pure beauty

He will take his time enjoying the feeling of your soft skin under his calloused palms

Ieyasu is a fast learner even though it is his first time he will gently kiss and touch you all over finding all those little spots that makes you moan and scream out his name.

 After a while, he will know exactly which spot to nibble or touch to make you shudder

This boy loves kisses and will legit kiss every inch of your beautifully soft skin, he might just leave a few love bites in its wake

He will move slow, soft and lovingly, every kiss and touch will be gentle and feather-light  telling you exactly just how much he loves you and how much you mean to him

The boy is very vocal

Every moment is filled with sweet whispers, of him telling you how breathtaking you are, how much he loves you and how perfect you are

Softi boy will make sure both of you are completely satisfied

He loves touching your face and staring into your beautiful eyes

Afterward, he will clean you up and spoon you from behind, while drawing soft circles on your bare skin for hours. You are the only one he will show weakness to. He will whisper to you afterward that you were actually his first, poor boy will be blushing the whole time. Aftercare with Ieyasu will consist of the sweetest softest snuggles, soft words, and sweet endearments

I hope ya enjoyed it, love! ❤❤🔥🥰

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 8

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Bruce Springsteen

Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay

Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being

Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts

* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business

* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick

Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this

* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers

* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o

Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa

Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together

Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire

Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe

Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection

Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood

Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.

Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills

Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC

Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.

Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat

Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most

Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier

* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment

* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm

Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it

* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible

* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged

Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal

Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish

Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision

Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins

Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried

Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup

Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection

Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin

Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber

Page 52: DIY Blowout -- these foolproof finds deliver impeccable hair right at home -- Drew Barrymore

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset

Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin

Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood

Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16

Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed

[slaheir]

STUDY  :  HISUI

۝  BASICS

IS YOUR MUSE TALL  /  SHORT  /  AVERAGE? He seems pretty tall for his age??? I mean given Kohaku’s probably not the tallest person out there but for some reason I just think he began to sprout up like a tree and is still very much growing boy. His sister’s are definitely taller than him but I think he’s taller than Moroha and probably slightly more than Setsuna and close if not the same height as Towa.

ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT? Yeah, teasing like that doesn’t really bother him except when his sister’s are needling him about his forehead.

WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? His hair's pretty long. Miroku’s was about at his shoulders and Hisui’s ponytail is slightly fuller and seems to have more to it so I’d say his is just past his shoulders. He won’t cut it and wears it tied back, like his father and Uncle have shown him to do so it doesn’t become a means of exploit in battle. Who knows, maybe one day he’ll have a ponytail like mama. 

DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR  /  GROOMING? I don’t think so? Like, he’s definitely hygenic and takes care of his appearance but just pulling it back like that tells me he’s a two step kinda guy and is kind of on the always on the go. 

DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE  /  WHAT OTHERS THINK? I think he’s definitely a sensitive boy but would really only care about the opinions of people that care about him. If his mom, father or Uncle said he looked unprofessional he’d clean up, for sure. The only thing he’s adamant about is the way he wears his uniform and the collar around his neck. He finds it too restricting and distracting in a fight. 

۝  PREFERENCES

INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? Outdoors

RAIN OR SUNSHINE? Sunshine, because it’s easier to train and fight demons when you’re not slipping and sliding through grass or mud.

FOREST OR BEACH? Forest

PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? Precious metals. He works with his hands a lot and cleans a lot of his own weapons and admittedly has shown some of his teammates how to care for theirs.

FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? Flowers. He brings them home for his mom and sisters a lot.

PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? Personality, for sure. 

BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? Either. I like to say that he does sometimes prefer to be alone with his thoughts but more often then naught he’ll chase after or offer to do something with his family or friends because he likes spending time on them.

ORDER OR ANARCHY? Order. Keeper of the peace, future hero of the village! >3

PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? Painful Truths. He’d rather his family be honest with him and let him deal and process things than keep things from him. Yeah I’m looking at YOU Uncle Kohaku, we know the series is gonna go there and you’re defs hiding something from my boy.

SCIENCE OR MAGIC? Magic. It’s feudal japan so.

PEACE OR CONFLICT? Peace. He fights to protect people so they can have an easy future (and in his family’s case they deserve it)

NIGHT OR DAY? Both? Depends on the shift work.

DUSK OR DAWN? Dawn, new start. New begginings.

WARMTH OR COLD? Warmth. He’s a warm person and definitely makes others feel good about themselves.

MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? Both. He’s well known in his community and has a few close friends he spends a lot of time with.

READING OR PLAYING A GAME? Reading. He likes talking to his father about his beliefs because he recognizes he has much to learn from Miroku as he does from Sango.

۝  QUESTIONNAIRE

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? Hisui gets in his head. A LOT. He internalizes and worries about other people. He worries about living up to expectations and falling short of them or failing to do something right. He has a few insecurities and definitely a lot of vulnerability and survivors guilt in some verses that I write. He wants so badly to be someone his parents are proud of. They fought to give him a comfortable, safe, full life so he owes that to them right?

HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? This verse dependent so I’ll try and outline a few.

In my canon Yashahime verse, that’s developing as the series progresses we see that Sango, Miroku, and his sisters are all gone and the only family member he has left is his Uncle Kohaku. Now varying outcomes of how he feels depends on how much he a) remembers and b) what he’s been told. I have a sneaking suspicion that both Kohaku and Hisui were out training when whatever happened went down. Thus, he’d know that he had a family but to the extent of what he believes happened and how much he knows - we don’t yet. However this will be a VERY IMPORTANT defining moment to Hisui’s character. Because while some of the other main cast may not remember they even had families he does. And to have this happen to him HURT HIM DEEPLY. I don’t know how he’d possibly process those emotions or if he even fully has. I feel like he threw himself into his training, carried on with his life either again - depending on what he knows - hoping to find them again someday or just believing their dead and trying to continue on. But regardless, family for him in this verse is a VERY touchy subject and not something to talk to him about. He’s pushed his Uncle away whenever the subject’s been broached and after not talking for a few days, they’ve just moved on and went back to the way things were before. This verse hurts me a lot so I need all these children to be reunited with their parents at the end of this Sunrise, okay??? >’(  you better not do me dirty. MirSan and InuKag deserve better. 

In my canon divergent yashahime slayer verse, Hisui has all of his family nothing really bad has happened - the only lesson he’s learnt thus far is to be more careful. I’ve mentioned an incident in this verse where he saved a young girl during a demon’s attack on their village but took a bad injury in his leg that became infected and left him bedroom for 6-8 weeks. This was his first reality check and he had to work hard to get back to where he was physically, but he’s much less impulsive than before and only gives (a few) hero speeches every once in a great blue moon because xD he’s just never gonna grow out of that. 

WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? Applies to several Canon Divergent and AU verses.

Oh god so many. I’ll list a few here.

- training with his mother and uncle. Watching them glow with pride as he grows up and gets better and better, wanting to help them rebuild their village. 

- walks and late night talks with his father. Those are REALLY special to him and he remembers distinctly his father carrying him back to bed when he was young, having fallen asleep as he was teaching him a lesson about life. Miroku tucks him and smooths back his hair and tells him quietly that he loves him so much. 

- mother passing on her hiraikotsu and kirara to him, one morning out of the blue. He’s speechless and ends up crying and hugging her tight. 

- days, afternoons and evenings spent over at his aunt and uncles. He helps Kagome do laundry, plays with moroha and sometimes his sisters join. 

- Since he was a baby he follows inuyasha around and tries to imitate his swagger and confidence. Inuyasha loves his nephew he’s such dorky cute little potat. 

- Getting the lecture of his and moroha’s LIFE when they took their parents weapons to go train in the forest. 

- spending time with the wolf demon tribe when their folks had to go on out of town missions as a group. Koga, Moroha and Hisui fishing, training, running off to go fight things that are ten times stronger than them and Koga dragging their asses back to his pack to blister their ears like wHY is it always YOU TWO. But he loves those trouble makers.  

IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? evil demons? A hundred percent. Doesn’t bat an eyelash because they’re preying on people and he needs to protect them. Regular humans though, that are evil and preying on women and children weaker than them? He has a hard time. He doesn’t understand how a person can be that much of a vile monster. And though he should have the stomach for it, sometimes he really doesn’t. He hates injuring people possessed by demons too. He’s like his father in that he’ll try and non lethally exorcise it or beat it out of them and help care for their wounds later. 

WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? Oh.. My. Gosh. My heart. He’s really.... soft boy and keeps a lot of his emotions to himself so when he breaks down it’s water works. Hiccups, heavy breathing, just shivers and trying to snuff out the sound he’s making but he only gets louder and louder till he has to let it all out. Like, we heard his lungs as a kid. Boy can cry a river.

IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? Absolutely. WHen he fights beside Setsuna and Kohaku he knows they have his back. He wouldn’t even question that for a second, just as they (probably) wouldn’t question their trust in him. He’d fight hard to protect them and know they would do the same. His family too, the few times in my canon divergent verses he’s fought beside his mother or father and Inuyasha and Moroha. 

WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? I think maturity wise he’s not there yet. He’s still young and has a lot he wants to focus on and do with his life. Speculatively, I think when he’s older he would definitely want the kind of open, affectionate, caring relationship that his father and mother have. That he sees his Aunt and Uncle have. But that’s a long ways down the road. 

Tagged by: @shirokodomo (thanks el!)

Tagging: @senpujin , @eternityheir , @crimsonkunshu , @amorous-monk and whoever else wants to do/steal this !!!!!

[greyias]

FIC: Smoke and Mirrors - Chapter 1

Title: Smoke and Mirrors Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: T Genre: Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn Synopsis: Something's rotten on Carrick Station, and Theron won't rest until he finds out what. But picking at the frayed threads of suspicion quickly unravels a conspiracy much larger than even the Republic's top spy can handle on his own. (A mostly canon-compliant retelling of the Forged Alliances storyline, as seen through the eyes of Theron Shan.) Spoilers: Forged Alliances. SWTOR Lost Suns and Annihilation. Some things in the Vanilla storyline, including the Revan flashpoints. Author’s Notes: Out of necessity, parts of this story will contain scenes from the game itself. Whenever possible I’ve tried to rewrite them so that they hopefully remain fresh and interesting, while still retaining the essence of the scene itself (so hopefully it doesn’t feel like you’re reading a transcript). This one is also going to be a bit slow to start, but it’s going to be a long one.

Crossposted to AO3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

When the Supreme Commander of Republic Forces called — it was generally a good idea to answer. Even if he just so happened to be your father.

However, this was official business, so Theron Shan decided to ignore that fact as he strode into the large office located in one of the corners of the Senate towers. The receptionist had waved him through without any fuss this time around.

Perhaps she had gotten used to him at this point — she hadn’t even glared at him this time. He supposed that was progress. It was nothing he had done, of course, just a bit of guilt-by-association. She and Marcus Trant, the Director of Republic’s Strategic Information Services had gotten quite chummy a little while back, but alas, she was not to become the third women to hold the title of “Mrs. Trant”. Easy come, easy go as the saying went.

Come to think of it, maybe the lack of glares this time around had more to do with the fact that Trant hadn’t accompanied Theron. It was a mystery for another time, though, as his gaze fell on the figure seated behind the desk in the center of the room. 

Jace Malcom was an extraordinarily tall man, he towered over Theron by at least a foot or so, and between the height, his deep gravelly voice, and the gruesome scars crisscrossing his face, the man could come off a little imposing. Theron wasn’t easily intimidated though, and he had a… unique situation with Jace. — considering the fact that the man was his father. Biologically at least, or… whatever.

It was complicated.

Theron hadn’t even known who Jace was, outside of his military record that was, until they’d met during the mission to take out the Ascendant Spear. Their first real meeting as father and son hadn’t exactly gone well, it was awkward, Theron had just wanted to leave, and most of their interactions outside of a professional setting had just been a bit like that. On the job, they were good. Despite popular opinion, Theron could take orders (when they made sense),  and off the clock they… well, they were trying to settle into something resembling familiarity. The “father-son bonding sessions” were thankfully few and far between. Theron liked Jace well enough, and they certainly got along better than he and his mother, but it wasn’t exactly like they were going to go out and throw the gravball around any time soon.

However, this meeting request had come through official channels, so thankfully that probably meant things would be less awkward and weird. At least he hoped.

Theron cleared his throat, pulling the older man’s attention away from the datapad he was reviewing. Seeing his visitor, some of the deep lines on Jace’s face smoothed into a smile. “Ah, Theron, you’re early.”

“Traffic wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.” He folded his arms in an effort to look casual. “Trant had a Senate briefing, so you get me instead.”

“That’s all right, I was hoping you’d be here for this. We can loop the director in later.”

“Your message was a bit vague,” he said, “just that you had some intel you wanted to discuss?”

Jace nodded. “One of my men came to me with something he picked up in the field — regarding Korriban. And a way we might be able to strike back.”

Theron’s eyebrows shot up. “Hitting Korriban? You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” The elder man looked at him grimly. “This all started on Korriban, it would be fitting for us to start the death knell for the Empire there.”

Korriban had been one of Jace’s first stations, and where he had met the future Grand Master of the Jedi Order, Satele Shan — who just so happened to be Theron’s mother. Theron shifted the weight of his feet, a habit he’d unfortunately picked up in these conversations when the subject of his mother came up, even indirectly as it was now. He hated having a tell, even something so minor and with someone like Jace who while sharp, probably hadn’t picked up on it.

A change of subject from ancient history back to the present was probably in order — and a lot more comfortable. So Theron addressed the deeper issue at hand. “SIS has been trying to get a mole on Korriban for years, and everyone we’ve tried to embed there winds up dead. That place is a death trap.”

“I’m not asking anyone to go undercover,” Jace assured him. “I’m thinking more smash and grab. But before that, I want you to look over this intel and let me know if you think it’s viable.”

“Me?”

“You were the one who cracked how to take out the Ascendant Spear — if anyone can do the same with Korriban, it’s you.”

It was a high compliment, and genuinely based on his skillset, rather than a form of nepotism. After their success against the Ascendent Spear, Theron had been tapped as a resource more and more for Malcom’s office. It had kept him out of the field more than he liked, but the tangible results of his work on the overall war was satisfying in its own way.

“That seems simple enough,” Theron said, trying to focus on the task at hand. “Any reason for all of the cloak and dagger?”

“Considering the target I don’t want to take any chances. I want someone I can trust taking point on this.”

Theron couldn’t quite decipher the look on Jace’s face, but nodded a thanks all the same. It was… odd having someone be so complimentary and open about that kind of thing. Trant’s usual way of expressing gratitude was a cutting sarcastic remark. Which he was fine with — it was familiar. Easy. But the mark of a good spy was adapting to the situation at hand.

Even if that meant a little bit of inadvertent father-son bonding.

Jace handed over a small data chip. The fact that he wasn’t trusting any of this on any network channel spoke volumes about the need for discretion.

“I’ll look this over and get you an answer as soon as possible.”

That seemed to satisfy Jace, but as Theron made his way out of the office and out into the streets, he was unsettled. The reason for that feeling wasn’t readily apparent, but hopefully once he had a chance to dig into the data he’d figure it out. He tended to trust his gut on these things, but a chance to strike as rich of a target as this was too good to pass up on a mere bad feeling alone.

The more he dug into the intel that Jace had given him, the more Theron had to admit that the Supreme Commander was right. A strike on Korriban not only seemed viable, but had the potential to yield invaluable information that could finally lead to an end to the war.

A Jedi named Jensyn had come away from an encounter with an apprentice to a member from the Dark Council, revealing that they had databanks in their main chambers with some of the inner-most secrets to the Empire. A literal goldmine of information that could turn every future battle and operation to the Republic’s favor. It was almost too good of an opportunity to pass up, and so Theron kept digging. Every intelligence report surrounding the encounter checked out, and just because he liked being paranoid, Theron looked into the Jedi too. The man had served aboard the Telos in its campaign in the Albarrio and Relgim sectors, and had an exemplary service record. The closest thing he found to a red flag was the copious amount tea Jensyn liked to consume.  

As far as Theron could tell, the intel seemed clean.

That just left the minor problem of storming Siths’ the inner-keep. Just getting on the ground would have been an issue, except that apparently a SpecOps commander named Rian Darok had found a gap in the patrols on Korriban. It wasn’t a large one, and they’d never be able to launch a full-scale assault… but a strike team could make it through and perform an extraction.

Theron filled a large mug to the brim with caf, settled into the most comfortable chair he could find at SIS Headquarters, and got to work mining everything they had on Korriban. He had to cobble the data together from a variety of sources to even get a close picture if it could be done. They had old schematics of the ground layout, but due to the age he had to cross-reference it with a report from an escaped acolyte to confirm the probable obstacles facing a strike team on their route from the landing zone into the Academy. This, coupled with bits and pieces of security information scraped from the almost-defunct Imperial intelligence, yielded an access point for someone on the ground that could allow a talented slicer to insert an exploit. It was technically doable, but the resistance the ground team would face stacked the deck against the op’s favor.

“Viable but a logistical nightmare” was how he summarized it to Jace and Marcus the next morning, gratefully accepting the giant mug of caf the Supreme Commander had ready for him the moment he walked in the door.

“Pay up,” Marcus said, and Jace grudgingly handed over a credit chip.

Theron narrowed his eyes at the both of them suspiciously over the rim of his mug. “And what was that for?”

“Just how quickly you’d go for caffeine,” Marcus said casually.

Theron fixed his boss with a glare before taking a very long drag of the zippy brew. Apparently being Supreme Commander came with some perks, because if the spy wasn’t mistaken, this was the more expensive Alsakan Mountain roast. The director just shook his head and turned to the datapad with all the findings, letting out a low whistle at the potential yield if the operation was successful. As both of the older men perused the data, Theron barely suppressed a yawn. The all-nighter had come at the tail end of an op, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was probably needing at least a few hours of sleep.

“You could have taken two days to look at all this,” Jace said lightly, “but I appreciate the enthusiasm.”

“Intel can go stale quick.” Theron shrugged off the paternal concern easily.

“All the reason to act quickly,” Jace said, “if Trant can spare you for a little bit.”

“Please, take him. Much less of a headache for me.”

“I’m really feeling the love here,” the agent muttered.

“You’d feel more if you turned your expense reports on time.”

“You have to get a thrill somehow since you’re not out in the field anymore,” Theron shot back easily. “I’m just trying to help.”

“You see what I have to deal with?” Marcus pointed the question at Jace, who just shook his head.

“Well, I’m happy for the loan, Marcus,” he said, turning the subject back to the matter at hand. “I can see how logistics can get sticky, but I think I’ve got someone who can help with that. Colonel Darok has a knack for this kind of thing.”

Having spotted the hole in the patrol route, Theron had to admit the man had a keen eye. 

“You’d need a small army just to get through that many Sith. No way to get that many troops in,” Theron pointed out. “I don’t even see how even a master tactician is going to navigate that. ”

“What about a small strike team?” Marcus asked.

“Might work, but they’d need to have hides of durasteel.”

Jace looked thoughtful for a moment, before he headed over to his desk and pulled up a few dossiers on a datapad. He paged through a few, before handing it over to Theron. “Have you ever heard of the Coruscant Aegis?”

“Never met them personally,” Theron paused to take another sip from his mug before continuing, “but one of them provided cover fire on an extraction for me once.”

Marcus snorted, apparently remembering the incident in question. “Is that what you’re calling it now?”

“I needed to make a hasty exit, and the lady was kind enough to clear a path. At least I think it was a lady—there was a lot of blaster fire. Pretty sure she called me insane.”

“That sounds about right.” Marcus heaved the heavy sigh of the wearied soul.

“I suppose I owe whoever it was some thanks,” Theron said. “Probably wouldn’t have made it out without the assist. Some nice flying and shooting.”

“They’re good at what they do,” Jace agreed, “the best actually.”

“Are any of them lightsaber-proof?” Theron asked sarcastically.

“They haven’t let one stop any of them so far.”

Theron juggled the mug and datapad, skimming through the personnel files as he continued to sip from the sweet caffeinated nectar. He tried to school his expression as he skimmed through the major highlights of each name, but the laundry list of heroic deeds associated with each individual was quite impressive. A notorious smuggler who had taken down the Voidwolf. The commander of Havoc Squad. Even a member of the Jedi High Council. It was the last one that made Theron stop and frown.

“Is this last one even real?” he asked.

Jace nodded solemnly. “She is.”

“It says she killed the Sith Emperor.”

That got Marcus’s attention, who leaned over Theron’s shoulder to read the dossier. Not liking the crowding, he handed the datapad over to his boss, and proceeded to prop his hip on Jace’s desk, still nursing the mug of caf.

“You asked for a small army,” Jace pointed out. “Any of them would be able to perform the extraction.”

“I’d say in that case we should get them all,” Theron said, “but they’re probably pretty scattered.”

Their window of opportunity to strike for this was going to close fast, though, so time was of the essence. It was probably also best to keep the number of those aware of the operation on the lower side too. Even if they were going to take on the entire Sith Academy, and maybe even the Dark Council.

Jace nodded. “You probably can get one in all likelihood.”

“Me, huh?”

“Colonel Darok will be in charge of the operation,” Jace clarified, “but I want the SIS involved on this. This is too big of a target to not bring in our best.”

Theron caught the backhanded compliment, but instead of responding verbally, he just nodded. “I can do some recruiting if you want. You have a preference?”

“Surprise me.”

 Jace flashed him a brief knowing grin, and Theron checked the urge to roll his eyes. He was fairly certain Marcus wasn’t aware of the familial connection, so showing disrespect to the man who was technically his boss’s boss probably wouldn’t help things in the long run. Knowing the way his luck tended to run, Theron would probably need to appeal to the director’s better nature in the next month for some reason or another. Theron didn’t intentionally cause diplomatic and inter-departmental incidents, they just tended to… happen. Sometimes. And by sometimes he meant like clockwork. 

“I’m going to need a little time to dig into the files if that’s the case,” he said instead of rising to the teasing.

“That’s fine.” If Jace was disappointed in Theron’s utter professionalism, it didn’t show, and the moment of levity slipped away. "It will take me some time to get Darok caught up and for us to put a battle plan together.”

Theron nodded and pocketed the datapad from Marcus. “Exactly how much time are we talking about?”

“Enough that you can sleep on it,” Jace tried to keep his tone light, but Theron still caught a hint of paternal concern threading underneath.

“Sleep?” Marcus snorted derisively. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“I sleep when I’m bored,” Theron shot back.

“Good. Then you’ll be out before you even get through the first dossier.”

“Are you kidding? This is better than a holo-drama.” The spy tapped his pocket where he had stowed the datapad. 

Jace just shook his head, amused, and the discussion turned to other matters of intelligence. Theron let himself out once he finished his mug of caf, the weight of the datapad in his pocket a reminder of the upcoming mission. Despite the caffeine, he could feel fatigue pulling at him. Either the long hours were getting to him, or the unsettled feeling from the previous day was still eating at him. Maybe after he was able to study the personnel files some more, he could take a moment to review his notes and pinpoint what was bothering him. And then he could get some sleep.

Next Chapter

[hellomynameisbisexual]

How Do Bi Parents Come Out to Their Kids?

It’s not always straightforward.

By Lux Alptraum

As the author of multiple memoirs, psychotherapist Wendy C. Ortiz, M.F.T., is no stranger to personal disclosures. In her books, she’s told readers about her teenage sexual exploits and her struggles as a 20-something Angeleno, and she’s even provided lengthy descriptions of her dreams. But over the past few years, Ortiz has been navigating a different disclosure wholly unlike the ones that have shaped her literary career: coming out as bisexual to her young daughter.

“We’re still trying to find a way to explain it without opening a can of worms that we are not quite prepared for yet,” Ortiz tells SELF.

Ortiz’s nine-year-old daughter has always been aware that her parents are not straight—being raised in a household with two moms made that evident. But Ortiz’s bisexuality has been a more complicated identity to discuss, one that expands beyond her current relationship and encompasses a broader swath of who she is as a person. Over the past few years, she’s been experimenting with how to be open and honest with her daughter in an age-appropriate, accessible way that offers comfort and clarity rather than just creating more confusion. Though Ortiz and her family have started the conversation, it remains a work in progress.

She’s hardly the only parent to find herself in this situation.

There are a lot of reasons bi parents choose to come out. For many bi parents, sharing their identity can feel essential to providing their children with an open-minded understanding of the world around them. “I’ve always wanted to give my son what I didn’t have growing up,” Ellie W., 25, tells SELF. Her own religious upbringing didn’t include open conversations about sex and identity.

For others, being out about their identity can feel like a way of encouraging honest communication with their children. “I decided relatively early on in my then partner’s pregnancy that I wasn’t going to be secretive about stuff, because I had dealt with a lot of secretive approaches in my own family around all sorts of things. It was bad for me and also bad for the rest of the family,” Jerome C., 44, tells SELF.

And in a political environment that’s increasingly hostile to LGBTQ+ folk, some parents see informing their children about their bisexuality as an important part of preparing their kids for the future. “To be trans and bi is to be pretty visible,” Nola P., 36, tells SELF. “I wanted to make sure that they understood some of the things that might happen, and how it might affect our family directly.”

That sense of community, identity, and visibility is a big part of why some parents might feel driven to open up this discussion with their kids. Being open about your bi identity can help combat bisexual erasure and help kids understand bisexuality not just as an abstract concept but as the identity of someone they’re close to. It can also help create a sense of open dialogue that will serve kids later in life if they wind up identifying as queer.

“Parents might think in the back of their heads, Well, what if my child was bisexual? I would want them to feel like they could come out to me. So I should come out to them and be that role model that they deserve,” Dan Rice, M.Ed., executive director at the sex education organization Answer at Rutgers University, tells SELF.

Indeed, Mike F., 42, was prompted to come out to his teenage daughter after she came out to him first. “I don’t remember the exact conversation, but she made a joke about not being ‘exactly straight,’ and I said, ‘You and me both, baby girl.’ She paused, looked at me, and said, ‘Cool,’” he tells SELF.

Of course, there are a few reasons coming out as bisexual to your kids can be complicated. For one, bi parents who choose to broach this topic with their children run the risk of facing judgment from family members, friends, and community members who consider this disclosure to be TMI. On a popular podcast I listen to, a women’s health expert advised an audience member against coming out to her daughter as bi, saying that it was a discussion best reserved for older kids. The expert’s reasoning? The audience member’s young child wasn’t ready to hear about who her mommy liked to have sex with.

Um. While most of us would agree that frank discussions of adults’ sex lives aren’t an appropriate topic for children, coming out as bisexual to your kids in no way means giving them an extensive overview of everyone you’ve slept with (and how). “Being bi isn’t just about how you have sex and who you have sex with, it’s about how you understand desire and love and connection and community,” Cory Silverberg, an award-winning sex educator and author of Sex Is a Funny Word, tells SELF.

Though some parents might fret about the possibility of burdening their children with too much information at too young an age, Rice doesn’t think parents need to worry about having this conversation too soon. “It’s never too early,” he says. “What we’re explaining to children is love, and who we love and have a special love for. Children understand love.”

Then there’s the fact that starting the conversation can feel complicated and intimidating. A simple way in might be a casual disclosure during a discussion about different styles of relationships, something like, “Some people fall in love with people of a different gender, some people fall in love with people of their own gender, and some people, like me, can fall in love with people of any gender.”

It’s also key to keep in mind that your kid might not react with enthusiasm or even interest. “This could be a conversation that the parent might hope is longer, but maybe the kid isn’t interested, and it’s something to come back to,” says Ortiz, who in addition to navigating this on her own also works with many queer patients as a psychotherapist. Ortiz recommends mainly letting the child lead the discussion: Tie your disclosures to questions they’ve brought up about relationships or love or identity rather than forcing them to listen to a personal monologue that they’re not ready for or couldn’t care less about right now.

In Jerome’s case, he first discussed gender and sexuality with his son when the child was nine. “It was around that time that one of his cousins came out as transgender, so that gave me the opening,” he says. “I tried to make it ‘not a big deal,’ which meant that, in turn, he didn’t seem particularly fazed by anything I was saying or talking about.”

Above all, it’s important to remind your kid that having a bisexual parent doesn’t change things or mean that their life isn’t going to be the same. Even if this information is new to them, it doesn’t change who you are: a parent who loves them very much.

For many, this is bound to be an ongoing discussion, not a single conversation. The conversation you have with your kids about your sexual identity is likely to shift and expand over the years as your children get older and better able to understand more complex topics. Silverberg recommends using pop culture as an entry point to additional conversations. If you’re watching a Disney movie, for instance, you can remind your child that not all princesses marry princes: Some might marry other princesses, some might be happy with either option, and some might decide they’re not interested in marriage at all.

This can be especially useful for younger children. Ellie says her son is too young to understand sexual and romantic attraction, so she describes her own partners as “friends” but encourages him to observe diversity in the world around him. “He seems entirely [unbothered] by the idea that some children can have two mamas or two dadas or two mamas and one dada,” she says. “He found it quite amusing that there are infinite possibilities of how to make up a family.”

In Ortiz’s own home, the conversations about identity started around the time her daughter turned six. It was something, she tells me, that largely happened organically. When her daughter started talking about kids at school having crushes on each other, Ortiz and her partner gently brought up the idea that people can have crushes on someone the same gender as them as well as on people of different genders. Meanwhile, shows like the cartoon Steven Universe showcase queer relationships in a fun and casual way and have given the family an opportunity to talk about the wide variety of relationships humans might arrange ourselves in.

When Ortiz’s daughter stumbled on photos of Ortiz with an old boyfriend, Ortiz didn’t shy away from being honest about who that person was in her life. “In the last year we’ve approached the subject that I was once married to a man,” Ortiz says. “It’s like, ‘Oh, this is Mommy’s identity,’ versus her other mother who identifies as lesbian.”

As the years have passed, it’s become clear that the many conversations they’ve had about identity and relationships have had an impact on Ortiz’s daughter. When she talks about the future, Ortiz says, her daughter leaves the question of her own orientation open. “She will preface by saying, ‘And I might be with a girl or a boy.’” Thanks to her mothers’ openness about their own identities, she’s able to be confident that whomever her future relationships end up being with, she’ll have the support and love of her family. Which is, of course, what truly matters.

[diallokenyatta]

Bro Diallo can you chart how Umar Johnson aka Jermaine Shoemake went from being a respected public speaker and advocate of Black issues and agendas, to the butt of jokes on the internet regarding Black consciousness? There are dozens of youtube channels dedicated to either clowning him or exposing him. On twitter he's little more than a meme. Some say he's on drugs, others say he's a crazed con-man. What happened?

I don’t know anything about him doing drugs.  I would call him a ConMan because he’s actively engaged in the deception of the public to get them to contribute money to him under false pretenses, and I believe he’s still actively engaged in the Con by giving false updates about the FDMG Academy. But my issue with Dr. Umar isn’t really centered around the ongoing School Con he’s pulling, my beef with him is ideological, and I think his flawed ideology & Demagogary are at the root of all of his other issues; so that’s what I’ll speak on.

Dr. Umar was ultimately self-defeating. He built up a moralist, puritanical persona and failed to embody the very principles of manhood, family, and the discipline he advocated for and falsely told the Black community were the paths to empowerment and freedom. Dr. Umar only rose to prominence by engaging in what I have come to call Black Puritanism. Black people are primed by the Dominate System to have certain core beliefs about sex, gender roles, family, work, material value, education, and morality. Many Militant Black Leaders who claim to not only oppose White Western Culture but to be African Centered or Pan-African fully embrace the core practices and beliefs of White Western Culture, they simply infuse it with Black Militant Rhetoric and African esthetics, but at the core, it’s Western, Judeo-Christian ideology; that’s Black Puritanism. 

Umar exploited the fears and indoctrination of the Black masses, he didn’t educate our people, he encouraged our people to be more regressive, not Revolutionary. If you remove all of the Black Militant Rhetoric and the African Aesthetics from his teachings you will have an ideology that is identical to Racist organizations like the Republican Party, Focus on the Family, the Proud Boys, & most other Neo-Fascist & Far-Right organizations.  Also, just like the Far-Right Demagogues he mimics; he does the opposite of what he professes and teaches. From lying about celibacy to failing to marry the women he impregnates, to pursuing sex with the very type of women he rebukes (strippers, women with perms, etc.). Dr. Umar shuns Christianity and other “Slave Religions,” but his rebuke of homosexuality is drawn directly from those Slave Religions. Dr. Umar is a Ph.D., but fails to give an academic, evidence-based source for his claims about the harm homosexuality is doing to the Black community or Black manhood.  I personally have been asking him, his supporters, and the larger Black Straight Pride Movement for a secular, rational, evidence-based support for their claims and condemnations for years. They call me a homosexual for simply making the inquiry. Dr. Umar’s methods and positions are an easy, quick, and profitable way to prominence and power within the Black community, but it’s a circular path, not a progressive one, it causes the Leaders who do this to take us in a circle where we always end up where we started. Many of his defenders like to point out the areas where Umar has been correct like in the over-drugging of Black youth for “behavioral issues,” and the criminalization of Black youth; and he should be commended for that, but when you use the accolades and attention you gain for accurate teachings to manipulate and fleece the public while trying to erect a cult following you deserve to be called out. Again, it’s Umar’s own misdeeds and lunacy that detracts from the good works he’s done, not his opponents and critics. As Dr. Umar or any Black Demagogue remains prominent and their views and teachings become better known outside their core followers they always evolve into caricatures of Black Militancy because their teachings can’t stand up to critical analysis or any form of intelligent scrutiny. Since hey can’t fight back academically or intellectually they start ranting and raving, making wild accusations about their challengers, threatening detractors, and a develop a Martyr Complex; in nutshell: They Go Crazy. Dr. Umar isn’t the first to go through this spiral, nor will he be the last. At this stage some Black Demagogues fade into obscurity, others manage to hold on to some level of prominence but their influence is greatly reduced, some Demagogues like Minister Farakahn constantly morph their positions and adopt new (still irrational, but new) positions to remain relevant. But the more rigid the Demagogue is the more insane they appear and the smaller their circle of influence becomes. 

If you want to help Dr. Umar here are some suggestions, it won’t be a complete list but it’ll go a long way towards Dr. Umar actually making a Positive Contributions to the Just Aspirations of African People, and truly advancing the Pan-African Struggle:  1. Don’t center yourself when it comes to educating, uplifting, or leading the community; make the ideas and agendas the core.  Men are flawed and we’ll all eventually fall, but the ideology and mission should be beyond any individual. Pan-Africanism doesn't need a “Prince,” it needs rational, committed organizers. 2. Don’t tout your personal morality as a reason anyone should follow you; especially if you don’t actually follow that personal morality! Your analysis, the viability of your agendas, your commitment to the protracted struggle should be what you offer and be used to measure your worthiness, not who you have (consensual) sex with or how you have sex, or any of the other shit Umar lied about.  If your personal “outlets” don’t detract from the movement, then keep it to yourself. No one would have given a damn about Umar’s relationship with a Stripper if he hadn’t sold himself as the embodiment of sexual morality and restraint; he made it an issue, not his detractors.  3. If you can’t defend a position, rework or abandon it. Be teachable.  4. Everyone who criticizes you isn’t your enemy. Never threaten anyone online, never threaten or commit violence against another Black person based on verbal or ideological disagreements. 5. Stop competing with other public figures, and only debate the merits and efficacy if their ideas, conclusions, and agendas.  6. Stop attacking the mothers of your children on social media! Stop attacking Black women. Stop...just stop.  7. Stop projecting your insecurities with your own masculinity onto Black women and LGBTQAI+ community. 8. Let go of the Alpha Male persona, there’s no value to be found within it.  9. Stop giving yourself titles of esteem, if the community wants to bestow titles upon you accept them with humility & live up to them. 10. Open the school, redirect the funds you raised to another project of equal value to the community, or return the funds to your supports. Set a hard deadline for doing one of the three listed here.  Finally; I can’t be too hard on Dr. Umar, cuz I held many of the views and engaged in some of the behaviors that I criticize him for (I never dupped the Hood outta $500Gs, nothing that horrible).  But I had people who were patient with me and willing to educate me, if not I’d probably be spewing the same BS as him well into my 30s and beyond. So, I always try to root some real insights and guidance in my criticisms and mockery of Dr. Umar in the hope that he can learn and grow. www.diallokenyattta.com www.patreon.com/diallokenyatta #BroDiallo

[duhragonball]

shadowjack12345 replied to your photo “Got a commission this week by the awesome FrauleinPflaume, and it...”

Nice to finally see Zatte, I always liked her - she's dangerous in a way we don't often get in DB.

Hey, thanks, that means a lot to me.    Also, this is all the prompting I need to try to explain how I came up with the character.   Spoilers under the cut.

The thing that held me up early on was that I couldn’t decide if Luffa’s “career” in the past should be long or short.   I used the Bardock: Father of Goku TV special as a model of a “short” Luffa arc.    You have this character who’s only mentioned in passing (by Raditz), and the TV special fleshes him out and kills him off in the space of an hour.   Then he wakes up in the past in the 2011 “Episode of Bardock” Special, if you want to count that.    On some level, I imagined it could be possible to give Luffa a really quick run in her native era, and then send her to the future to join the TIme Patrol, like the Bardock specials.   

I worked on Chapter 126 and 127 today, so I think it’s clear that I did not go down that route.   I knew the alternative would be to really flesh out the character, having her go through multiple adventures like Goku in Dragon Ball.   That meant I had to come up with extra stuff for her to do.   The simple fact is that I really enjoyed writing the character, and I wanted to take the long road, so that later on, when she refers to her past exploits, there would be some weight to them.   

So I worked on coming up with stuff for her to do in between major plot points.   I thought about giving her some love interests, since we’d never seen a Saiyan character jump from one relationship to another, like Spider-Man in the 70′s.   At some point, I thought it might be interesting to have her run into an old flame, someone who knew her before she went Super.   

The problem with that was that when we first meet Luffa, she’s only 19 years old, and she’s been married to Kandai for about a year.    And she’s been living on the Dorlun colony for about five years.    I say this like someone else foisted this problem on me, but I’m the one who came up with all that stuff, to better amplifly the tragedy she experiences before turning Super Saiyan.   This isn’t some seasoned veteran who’s been all over the universe, loving and leaving ‘em from one planet to the next.     She’s young and inexperienced and isolated in a very small community.    

But I still liked the idea, and I hadn’t published Chapters 1-10 yet, so I still had a lot of room to set things up for later.   I realized the only way this would work would be if the “old flame” was a Dorlun who had admired Luffa from afar.    And that led me to Captain Mesas, the leader of the Dorlun militia.  

Mesas originally served only one purpose, which was to be a sort of proxy who could represent the entire Dorlun colony that Luffa had been hired to defend.   I assigned her gender at random, I think.    I just know that I didn’t put a ton of thought into it, since I was planning to kill all of the Dorluns off later anyway.   Luffa would take this personally, because she came to appreciate these people without really admitting it, and this would be demonstrated by her respect for Mesas, who was their lead warrior, and thus the most Saiyan-like of the bunch.   Eventually, I renamed her Captain Zatte, because I had settled on naming all the Dorlun characters after anagrams of metric prefixes, i.e. “zetta”.  

So I quickly came to the conclusion that the only way this “reunited with an old flame” idea would work would be if it was a Dorlun, and the only one that would make any sense would have to be Zatte, and the only way that could work would be if there was some sort of romantic tension between them.    They couldn’t be lovers in those early chapters because Luffa was married at the time, but later, there would need to be a moment where Zatte would confess her feelings and Luffa would have to feel the same way.   

And this is how I ended up making Luffa bisexual.    I didn’t want Zatte to be a man, and I couldn’t make Luffa gay, because I needed her to start out in a marriage to a Saiyan man.   Too much of the plot depended upon that.   I struggled with this decision for a couple of reasons.   

First, I wasn’t sure I could pull it off, and I didn’t know if I wanted this story to be my first try, because I was already trying to do a lot of other new tricks.   I didn’t want real-world wlw’s to see this story and be disappointed by my amateurish attempt to get it right.    

Second, I felt disingenuous about making such a major change to the character for my own convenience.    I felt like I’d seen that a lot in comic books over the years, where writers would seemingly assign bisexuality to characters arbitrarily, or for “shock” value, or just to be salacious.  I didn’t want readers to think I was only doing this for shallow reasons, or to get my jollies writing two girls making out.  

But at the same time, I really wanted to do it this way, and I finally decided to just go with it and see where it took me.   In hindsight, I realize that I was just being a fraidy cat about the whole thing.   Writing wlw romance isn’t so functionally different from mlw romance, and once I got used to the idea, I realized the only thing I needed to do was to treat it with the proper respect.    And really, this wasn’t so far off from the original premise.    I wanted to make the “Legendary Super Saiyan” a woman to defy convention and to piss off dudebros.    Making her queer just continues that same line of reasoning, right?   I used to see jackasses on the internet say that women couldn’t turn Super Saiyan because they couldn’t “get angry enough,” which is pretty similar to a lot of biphobic crap I’ve heard on the internet.    I mean, I used to listen to Loveline on the radio around 2001, and Dr. Drew was acting like bisexuality was some made-up thing.    Apparently Dr. Drew went nuts somewhere along the way, or maybe he always was, but he seemed pretty progressive in 2001, and he accepted gay and lesbian callers just fine, but he told bi callers to “figure out what they want”, and that never sat right with me.   People used to say there were no such things as black swans, too.    That’s Luffa all over.     You can deny her all you want, but she’ll still kick your ass.  

I’m this close to going off on a rant about J.K. Rowling, so let me try to force myself to talk about Zatte here.    The problem I ran into almost immediately was that I wrote what I had originally planned for her, and I was very pleased with how it turned out.  And then I had to move on to the next arc, and yet, she was still there, and I knew I’d have to do something with her.    I feel like I’ve been winging it ever since, but my main priority was to set her apart from Keda, the other Dorlun character I kept around.  So I ran with the idea that Zatte is more “Saiyan-like” than the rest of her species, and maybe that makes her a little radical at times, maybe not in a way we humans might notice, but a way that other Dorluns would find unsettling.   Dorluns are survivalists, and for them “risk” is a four-letter word, but Zatte’s a thrillseeker at heart.   She wants to survive in spite of the dangers rather than back away from them.    Keda would find somewhere to hide for several months until it’s safe to come out, but Zatte would try to go all Die Hard on a situation.   Keda sticks close to Luffa because Luffa is the strongest person in the universe, so by Luffa’s side is arguably the safest place to be.    Zatte sticks close to Luffa because she’s a furry being by Luffa’s side is arguably the most dangerous place to be.    If she can survive there, she can survive anywhere.  

There’s also the whole fanaticism angle.   At some point, I came up with the idea that Zatte sees Luffa’s Super Saiyan emergence as a watershed moment in history.     I sort of threw that together, mostly to make Luffa uncomfortable and to add some tension to their relationship, but it also distinguishes Zatte from characters like Chi-Chi or Bulma, who see Super Saiyan as a lot of flashy nonsense, signifying nothing.    “Punk rocker?   Don’t you understand?   Your son is a miracle!”

That angle is kind of hard for me to work with, because I also tried to make Zatte very grounded at the same time.    I guess it’s like if you had Jerusalem Syndrome but you were very self-aware the entire time.   You make a toga out of your hotel linens and just constantly saying “Man, I’m just being really nutty right now, but oh well.”

A lot of her tactics are sort of rooted in stuff I thought made sense with the weaker characters in Dragon Ball.   I don’t really know how strong Zatte would be.    I envisioned her as being like a “mere mortal”, like Lois Lane, but in Dragon World even guys like Mr. Satan are insanely tough.   I’m pretty sure Bulma could kick Brock Lesnar’s ass if she visited our own world.   He’d F5 her and she’d just get up and slap him in the face and he’d collapse.    I feel like if Zatte entered the 23rd Budokai, she could sweep the entire thing.   That’s not what I set out to do, and it sounds really arrogant because I’d be putting her over Goku and Piccolo, but come on, that’s low-tier by DBZ standards.   If she couldn’t dominate the 23rd Budokai, then definitely the 22nd, which also sounds unthinkable, but that’s how this crazy show works.   Yajirobe could have won the 22nd Budokai if he’d only thought to enter it.   

My point is that “weaker” characters can do a lot from the sidelines if they know their limits and pick their spots, like Tien using the Kikoho on Cell and Super Buu, or Yajirobe cutting off Vegeta’s tail, and so forth.    Most of those guys hate resorting to that sort of thing, because they prefer to stand and fight in the open, but Zatte specializes in sneaky hit-and-run attacks.   She should be able to shoot ki blasts, but she sticks to firearms instead, because they’re more precise and ki senses can’t pick them up.  She likes being underestimated, to the point where her ideal battle is one where the enemy doesn’t even know she’s on the field.  

I dunno, I’ve always wondered if I was getting her “right” all this time, but now that I summarize it all in one place, it doesn’t seem as disjointed as I feared.   I had all these different things I needed her to be and do, and most of them involved finding ways to justify her continued presence in the story, but maybe it’s all worked out after all.   Sometimes I feel like Zatte is the Yoko Ono of this fic, but the Beatles suck, so I shouldn’t indulge in their crude analogies.    I Zatted my way into this mess, and I’m happy to Zatte my way out.    

[sciencespies]

'Ammonite' Is Historical Fanfiction About the World's First Great Fossil Hunter

https://sciencespies.com/nature/ammonite-is-historical-fanfiction-about-the-worlds-first-great-fossil-hunter/

'Ammonite' Is Historical Fanfiction About the World's First Great Fossil Hunter

Paleontology wouldn’t be the same without Mary Anning. She scoured the dreary coast of southern England for secrets not seen since the Jurassic, fueling the nascent 19th-century field of fossil studies with evidence of strange sea dragons, flying reptiles and other fascinating fragments of life long past. And now, over 170 years after her death, she’s got her own movie.

Ammonite will open at the Toronto Film Festival but isn’t set to premiere in theaters or in homes until later this year, but the historical drama is already stirring the waters like an excitable Plesiosaurus. The first trailer for the film hit the web yesterday. The tale, directed by British filmmaker Francis Lee, follows Anning (Kate Winslet) as she reluctantly brings a young woman named Charlotte Murchison (Saoirse Ronan) along on some fossil-hunting trips in the hope that the vigorous activity will help her new apprentice’s illness. But the two find more than fossils. In Lee’s telling, Anning and Murchison begin an intense affair that seems to have no room to breathe under the cultural strictures of Victorian England.

In other words, this is paleo fanfic.

The real Anning was an expert fossil collector and paleontologist who combed the beaches of Lyme Regis and the surrounding area for fossils that eroded from the Jurassic rock. You can retrace her steps on the same beaches, as I did during my own visit to England a few years ago, and maybe even find a little golden spiral along the tideline—ancient, shelled relatives of squid called ammonites.

Anning wasn’t alone in her exploits. Fossil hunting was a family business, and Anning’s father, Richard, took Mary and her brother Joseph on excursions to collect ammonites and other pieces they then sold as tourist curios. When Richard died, the rest of the family took over the business. And they were good at it. In 1811, Joseph found the gorgeous skull of an Ichthyosaurus; Mary later collected more bones from the same animal. Of course, that’s to say nothing of the Philpot sisters. Elizabeth, Louise and Margaret Philpot collected fossils in the Lyme Regis area when Anning was still a child, and Elizabeth became a mentor who encouraged her student to understand both the science and the market value of what she found. Even Anning’s dog Tray, a black and white terrier, went along on fossil trips and would stay at specific spots to mark a fossil’s location while the pooch waited for Mary’s return.

Thanks to her discoveries, sketches and notes, Anning eventually became a rock star in her own right. It’s at this point, when she had established her own fossil shop, that Ammonite finds Anning. But while Murchison really was one of Anning’s friends, no evidence suggests that the two had any kind of romantic ties. In fact, no evidence of the paleontologist’s love life—beyond her drive to keep digging into the Blue Lias strata that produced so many bones—exists at all.

Turning Anning’s remarkable story into a torrid romance has already incensed some would-be viewers. Reactions have run the gamut from objections to historical inaccuracy and homophobia, with little resolution given that we’re far too late to ask Anning herself.

In defending his choice, Lee snapped back against the anti-queer underpinnings of the outrage and said he sees Ammonite as another part of his efforts to “continually explore the themes of class, gender, sexuality within my work, treating my truthful characters with utter respect.” Focusing on Anning’s romantic life, even if entirely invented, is a way to see her as a whole person, not just the woman who sells seashells down by the seashore.

I have to wonder what Anning would say to this. As she wrote in a letter, “The world has used me so unkindly, I fear it has made me suspicious of everyone.” In the sexist, male-dominated world of 19th-century science, Anning’s finds were celebrated while she herself was barred from joining academic societies or even finding a path to gain equal footing with the likes of William Buckland, Gideon Mantell and other traditional heroes of paleontology who parasitized her labor. Now, in having her life’s story made a fiction, is the world using Anning again?

In all the hubbub over Ammonite’s portrayal of Anning, commenters have continually missed a critical point. Anning never married, and we don’t know if she had romantic or sexual relationships with anyone. Lee, and some others, have taken this as a hint that Anning may have been a lesbian and hid the fact to avoid controversy. But it’s equally possible that Anning was asexual or uninterested in romance. Perhaps, then, Ammonite is an exercise in erasure wrapped in progressive packaging, ignoring what we know of Anning in an attempt to read between the lines. The truth died when Anning did.

How audiences will experience Ammonite will largely depend on what they bring to it. If they’re expecting a historically accurate biopic, they may sit back on their couch fuming. Ammonite is to paleontology what The Untouchables is to Prohibition or Raiders of the Lost Ark is to archaeology. If viewers are looking for a queer romance set against a wave-battered backdrop, they may feel a little warmer to the treatment.

The sheer pressure put on Ammonite to fulfill our fossiliferous expectations says something about our current moment in science. The accomplishments and importance of women in paleontology are far more prominent than they were in Anning’s time, yet the standard image of a paleontologist remains an Indiana Jones wannabe focused on trophy hunting dinosaurs. And when it comes to diversity within the field across positions—from volunteer and student all the way up to professors—there remains a diversity gap that even cisgendered, straight, white women are fighting against, to say nothing of better support and representation for everyone else who falls outside those narrow categories.

And so we keep turning to Anning as a singular hero, a woman who made amazing and lasting contributions against the odds. She, and the women whose careers were intertwined with hers, deserves to be honored just like the men who fill the introduction sections of paleontology textbooks. At the same time, perhaps we are asking Anning to carry too much—to be the sole representative of an entirely different view of paleontology. If representation for women in the field were better, perhaps it would not feel as if so much is at stake. As it stands, we are so starved for stories other than the Great White Fossil Hunter that it’s almost impossible for any tale to satisfy everyone.

If we’re fortunate, some future paleontologist will be able to point to Ammonite and say it’s the first time they got to see themselves represented. I hope so. For the time being, though, I’m looking forward to the evening when my girlfriend and I can curl up on the couch and watch a romance about warm hearts and cold stone, even if we know Mary Anning’s truth requires a bit more digging to find.

#Nature

[mirrormirrormag]

horizontal hostility

I recently listened to a podcast called “The Process” from Noor Tagouri where she has a conversation with a creative about their process for creating their content among other things, and in this episode that I listened to, Noor interviewed filmmaker Minhal Baig who made headlines in late 2019 for her movie “Hala” that featured a Muslim girl wearing a hijab as the protagonist. For many Muslim Americans who heard the news, this was a huge step in the direction of authentic representation in the media, but for others, the premise featured in the trailer that announced the film, seemed to highlight a trope that continued to put the archetype of a White Savior over that of the coming of age or internal shift in the main character; others thought that the story of Hala was inaccurate to what Islam “actually” is and thought it was too Western-ized to capture the actual nature of the maligned religion. 

In the interview, Noor brings this up to Minhal, along with a phrase I wasn’t familiar with: horizontal hostility. As it turns out, horizontal hostility is essentially a term that describes a situation where people of the same background, whether it be ethnic, religious, racial, or sexual orientation, etc., accuse each other of not representing the ideal standard of what (insert blank) is in a way that reinforces a system of oppression. 

For example, there is a long history of black men mistreating black women; this would be horizontal hostility because though these people belong to the same racial background and have experienced similar notions of oppression, black men still benefit from the privileges that come from living in a patriarchal society and can exploit that to hurt black women, whos intersectionalities of race and gender furthers their disenfranchisement.

When it comes to Islam, this term illuminated precisely what I had felt plagued my community for centuries and has played a large role in the disillusioned way that the media portrayed Muslims. 

It’s no secret that many Muslim majority countries are in a third-world state after being exploited by colonialism and imperialism from Western countries, and continue to stay in a state of unrest through the many despots and dictators that attempt to take over these countries and overrule democracy. In many ways, this has lead to the reinforcement of an oppressive patriarchal state because of the distorted interpretation that many men in these cultures have of Islam that are simply tradition— not religion. 

Muslim majority countries share the same interpretations of religion that tend to be oversaturated with cultural contexts that aren’t representative of Islam. Things like oppressing women by forcing them to wear a hijab and keeping them inside the house to raise children and not make money of her own are all sins in Islam yet many people don’t regard it this way, including women. 

"To suggest that Hala wouldn’t have felt liberated or free if the white boy hadn’t “saved” her from her oppressive religion and culture perpetuates the exact assertions many Americans have about Muslim women: that they need to be saved or freed from the confines of their scarf that is slowly choking them to death. "

The internalized misogyny and lack of autonomy in these countries makes it difficult to retain any agency to speak against these injustices and as it continues to be passed down by generation and generations, it’s taken as Bible, no pun intended. 

The double standard involving men and women in the East is rejected by the West that prides itself in maintaining gender equity, yet there are other implicitly misogynistic parts to the West that still exist— we’ll get into that a bit later.

Needless to say, reconciling the Muslims that live in the West that aren’t necessarily assimilated to the point that they forget their identities but simply treat others with equality and the Muslims that live in the East who maintain a dated perception of the role that gender plays in society yet still believe in the same facets of Islam is difficult and speaks to the levels of misogyny that has bled through many aspects of society and culture. 

It’s often difficult for people to understand groups, especially Muslims, who seem to come from irreconcilable backgrounds and mutually exclusive beliefs, and place a label on them so that they are easily digestible. 

"for Muslim women who live in the West, “liberation” doesn’t end at the right to vote, because many other aspects of their identity inhibits them from full equality due to the patriarchy and xenophobic nature of the West. "

I’ve come across many questions from non-Muslims and Muslims alike such as “but you don’t seem Muslim ‘enough’” as if there is a equation I have to fulfill in order to ordain my beliefs. 

These sentiments came up a lot with the release of Minhal’s movie “Hala”. Although I haven’t seen the movie, from what I can tell, the main character, Hala, explores her sexuality in a way that is not even discussed in Muslim households with a White boy, though this isn’t the main focus of the movie. 

Growing up, my perceptions of who a Muslim could be was very limited; I couldn’t comprehend in my mind that anyone who called themselves a Muslim could drink alcohol, do drugs, have sex with multiple partners, etc. But what I’ve realized as I’ve grown older is that though there may be some inconsistencies in the way that someone practices their religion, they can still be as much of a Muslim as someone else. Portraying the different lifestyles of a vast group of people who have been tied down to one narrative can create more open mindedness but it’s difficult. 

While it’s important to portray as many realities of Muslims as possible, as multifaceted as they may be, it’s equally important to not associate the religion itself with the lives of the people. The mistake that the media made when showing Muslims was that they associated the oppressive cultures with the religion and that’s not how Islam is. Similarly, just because someone has many intersections within their religion and their lifestyle, it may not be accurate to the literal religion itself. 

Like I said, people like to label the things that they see so it’s easier to understand, but we can’t ignore the dimensionalities of people who may belong to one group but are a part of many others or associate a rigid definition with an interpretative group. 

While some said that the movie wasn’t Muslim enough or accurate to the exact rules of Islam, others pointed to the suggestion that Hala had some type of relationship with a white boy in the movie to call out the trope that existed in Western media that implicitly suppressed the story of Hala, in place of a superficial relationship that hid all of the dimensionalities of the protagonist. For some, the movie’s progress for representation was eclipsed by the presence of a misogynistic archetype that took the spotlight away from the girl, who happened to be Muslim, to the boy. 

I want to make the disclaimer that this is how it appeared in the trailer, not how it actually went down in the movie, according to what the filmmaker said. 

This is a very valid point because for Muslim women who live in the West, “liberation” doesn’t end at the right to vote, because many other aspects of their identity inhibits them from full equality due to the patriarchy and xenophobic nature of the West. 

To suggest that Hala wouldn’t have felt liberated or free if the white boy hadn’t “saved” her from her oppressive religion and culture perpetuates the exact assertions many Americans have about Muslim women: that they need to be saved or freed from the confines of their scarf that is slowly choking them to death. 

It appeared that this attempt for accurate representation was conducted through the male gaze, like many other media portrayals, and continued to ignore the realities of Muslim girls in America.

Regardless of the impression you may have about the movie, there is only one way to get a true interpretation of it and it’s by watching it. For those who have, the progress for representation is undeniably there as it captured the emotion and nature of growing up as a Muslim girl in America. 

[theadmiringbog]

I had a fragile but agreeable life: a job as an assistant at a small literary agency in Manhattan; a smattering of beloved friends on whom I exercised my social anxiety, primarily by avoiding them.

--

I wanted to make money, because I wanted to feel affirmed, confident, and valued. I wanted to be taken seriously. Mostly, I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.                

--

Conversation with the cofounders had been so easy, and the interviews so much more like coffee dates than the formal, sweaty-blazer interrogations I had experienced elsewhere, that at a certain point I wondered if maybe the three of them just wanted to hang out.                

--

They wore shirts that were always crisp and modestly buttoned to the clavicle. They were in long-term relationships with high-functioning women, women with great hair with whom they exercised and shared meals at restaurants that required reservations. They lived in one-bedroom apartments in downtown Manhattan and had no apparent need for psychotherapy. They shared a vision and a game plan. They weren’t ashamed to talk about it, weren’t ashamed to be openly ambitious. Fresh off impressive positions and prestigious summer internships at large tech corporations in the Bay Area, they spoke about their work like industry veterans, lifelong company men. They were generous with their unsolicited business advice, as though they hadn’t just worked someplace for a year or two but built storied careers. They were aspirational. I wanted, so much, to be like—and liked by—them.                

--

It was thrilling to watch the moving parts of a business come together; to feel that I could contribute.                

--

What I also did not understand at the time was that the founders had all hoped I would make my own job, without deliberate instruction. The mark of a hustler, a true entrepreneurial spirit, was creating the job that you wanted and making it look indispensable, even if it was institutionally unnecessary.                

--

I wasn’t used to having the sort of professional license and latitude that the founders were given. I lacked their confidence, their entitlement. I did not know about startup maxims to experiment and “own” things. I had never heard the common tech incantation Ask forgiveness, not permission.                

--

I had also been spoiled by the speed and open-mindedness of the tech industry, the optimism and sense of possibility. In publishing, no one I knew was ever celebrating a promotion. Nobody my age was excited about what might come next. Tech, by comparison, promised what so few industries or institutions could, at the time: a future.                

--

“How would you explain the tool to your grandmother?” “How would you describe the internet to a medieval farmer?” asked the sales engineer, opening and closing the pearl snaps on his shirt,                

--

Good interface design was like magic, or religion:                

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The first time I looked at a block of code and understood what was happening, I felt like nothing less than a genius.                

--

Anything an app or website’s users did—tap a button, take a photograph, send a payment, swipe right, enter text—could be recorded in real time, stored, aggregated, and analyzed in those beautiful dashboards. Whenever I explained it to friends, I sounded like a podcast ad.                

--

four-person companies trying to gamify human resources                

--

... how rare the analytics startup was. Ninety-five percent of startups tanked. We weren’t just beating the odds; we were soaring past them.                

--

While I usually spent sleepless nights staring at the ceiling and worrying about my loved ones’ mortality, he worked on programming side projects. Sometimes he just passed the time between midnight and noon playing a long-haul trucking simulator. It was calming, he said. There was a digital CB radio through which he could communicate with other players. I pictured him whispering into it in the dark.                

--

At the start of each meeting, the operations manager distributed packets containing metrics and updates from across the company: sales numbers, new signups, deals closed. We were all privy to high-level details and minutiae, from the names and progress of job candidates to projected revenue. This panoramic view of the business meant individual contributions were noticeable; it felt good to identify and measure our impact.                

--

Was this what it felt like to hurtle through the world in a state of pure confidence, I wondered, pressing my fingers to my temples—was this what it was like to be a man?                

--

I was interested in talking about empathy, a buzzword used to the point of pure abstraction,                

--

The hierarchy was pervasive at the analytics startup, ingrained in the CEO’s dismissal of marketing and insistence that a good product would sell itself.                

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He just taught himself to code over the summer, I heard myself say of a job candidate one afternoon. It floated out of my mouth with the awe of someone relaying a miracle.                

--

As early employees, we were dangerous. We had experienced an early, more autonomous, unsustainable iteration of the company. We had known it before there were rules. We knew too much about how things worked, and harbored nostalgia and affection for the way things were.                

--

The obsession with meritocracy had always been suspect at a prominent international company that was overwhelmingly white, male, and American, and had fewer than fifteen women in Engineering.                

--

For years, my coworkers explained, the absence of an official org chart had given rise to a secondary, shadow org chart, determined by social relationships and proximity to the founders. Employees who were technically rank-and-file had executive-level power and leverage. Those with the ear of the CEO could influence hiring decisions, internal policies, and the reputational standing of their colleagues. “Flat structure, except for pay and responsibilities,” said an internal tools developer, rolling her eyes. “It’s probably easier to be a furry at this company than a woman.”                

--

“It’s like no one even read ‘The Tyranny of Structurelessness,’” said an engineer who had recently read “The Tyranny of Structurelessness.”                

--

Can’t get sexually harassed when you work remotely, we joked, though of course we were wrong.                

--

I was in a million places at once. My mind pooled with strangers’ ideas, each joke or observation or damning polemic as distracting and ephemeral as the next. It wasn’t just me. Everyone I knew was stuck in a feedback loop with themselves. Technology companies stood by, ready to become everyone’s library, memory, personality. I read whatever the other nodes in my social networks were reading. I listened to whatever music the algorithm told me to. Wherever I traveled on the internet, I saw my own data reflected back at me: if a jade face-roller stalked me from news site to news site, I was reminded of my red skin and passive vanity. If the personalized playlists were full of sad singer-songwriters, I could only blame myself for getting the algorithm depressed.                

--

As we left the theater in pursuit of a hamburger, I felt rising frustration and resentment. I was frustrated because I felt stuck, and I was resentful because I was stuck in an industry that was chipping away at so many things I cared about. I did not want to be an ingrate, but I had trouble seeing why writing support emails for a venture-funded startup should offer more economic stability and reward than creative work or civic contributions. None of this was new information—and it was not as if tech had disrupted a golden age of well-compensated artists—but I felt it fresh.                

--

I had never really considered myself someone with a lifestyle, but of course I was, and insofar as I was aware of one now, I liked it. The tech industry was making me a perfect consumer of the world it was creating. It wasn’t just about leisure, the easy access to nice food and private transportation and abundant personal entertainment. It was the work culture, too: what Silicon Valley got right, how it felt to be there. The energy of being surrounded by people who so easily articulated, and satisfied, their desires. The feeling that everything was just within reach.                

--

We wanted to be on the side of human rights, free speech and free expression, creativity and equality. At the same time, it was an international platform, and who among us could have articulated a coherent stance on international human rights? We sat in our apartments tapping on laptops purchased from a consumer-hardware company that touted workplace tenets of diversity and liberalism but manufactured its products in exploitative Chinese factories using copper and cobalt mined in Congo by children. We were all from North America. We were all white, and in our twenties and thirties. These were not individual moral failings, but they didn’t help. We were aware we had blind spots. They were still blind spots. We struggled to draw the lines. We tried to distinguish between a political act and a political view; between praise of violent people and praise of violence; between commentary and intention. We tried to decipher trolls’ tactical irony. We made mistakes.                

--

I did not want two Silicon Valleys. I was starting to think the one we already had was doing enough damage. Or, maybe I did want two, but only if the second one was completely different, an evil twin: Matriarchal Silicon Valley. Separatist-feminist Silicon Valley. Small-scale, well-researched, slow-motion, regulated Silicon Valley—men could hold leadership roles in that one, but only if they never used the word “blitzscale” or referred to business as war.                

--

“Progress is so unusual and so rare, and we’re all out hunting, trying to find El Dorado,” Patrick said. 

“Almost everyone’s going to return empty-handed. Sober, responsible adults aren’t going to quit their jobs and lives to build companies that, in the end, may not even be worth it. It requires, in a visceral way, a sort of self-sacrificing.” 

Only later did I consider that he might have been trying to tell me something.                

--

Abuses were considered edge cases, on the margin—flaws that could be corrected by spam filters, or content moderators, or self-regulation by unpaid community members. No one wanted to admit that abuses were structurally inevitable: indicators that the systems—optimized for stickiness and amplification, endless engagement—were not only healthy, but working exactly as designed.                

--

The SF Bay Area is like Rome or Athens in antiquity, posted a VC. Send your best scholars, learn from the masters and meet the other most eminent people in your generation, and then return home with the knowledge and networks you need. Did they know people could see them?                

--

I couldn’t imagine making millions of dollars every year, then choosing to spend my time stirring shit on social media. There was almost a pathos to their internet addiction. Log off, I thought. Just email each other.                

--

All these people, spending their twenties and thirties in open-plan offices on the campuses of the decade’s most valuable public companies, pouring themselves bowls of free cereal from human bird feeders, crushing empty cans of fruit-tinged water, bored out of their minds but unable to walk away from the direct deposits—it was so unimaginative. There was so much potential in Silicon Valley, and so much of it just pooled around ad tech, the spillway of the internet economy.                

--

Though I did not want what Patrick and his friends wanted, there was still something appealing to me about the lives they had chosen. I envied their focus, their commitment, their ability to know what they wanted, and to say it out loud—the same things I always envied.                

--

I wanted to believe that as generations turned over, those coming into economic and political power would build a different, better, more expansive world, and not just for people like themselves. Later, I would mourn these conceits. Not only because this version of the future was constitutionally impossible—such arbitrary and unaccountable power was, after all, the problem—but also because I was repeating myself. I was looking for stories; I should have seen a system. The young men of Silicon Valley were doing fine. They loved their industry, loved their work, loved solving problems. They had no qualms. They were builders by nature, or so they believed. They saw markets in everything, and only opportunities. They had inexorable faith in their own ideas and their own potential. They were ecstatic about the future. They had power, wealth, and control. The person with the yearning was me.                

--

could have stayed in my job forever, which was how I knew it was time to go. The money and the ease of the lifestyle weren’t enough to mitigate the emotional drag of the work: the burnout, the repetition, the intermittent toxicity. The days did not feel distinct. I felt a widening emptiness, rattling around my studio every morning, rotating in my desk chair. I had the luxury, if not the courage, to do something about it.                

--

As I stood in the guest entrance, waiting for the stock plan administrator to collect the paperwork, I watched my former coworkers chatting happily with one another in the on-site coffee shop and felt, wrenchingly, that leaving had been a huge mistake. Certain unflattering truths: I had felt unassailable behind the walls of power. Society was shifting, and I felt safer inside the empire, inside the machine. It was preferable to be on the side that did the watching than on the side being watched.