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medievalraven · 4 years

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I was listening to a podcast today and they bought up cognitive authority in the context of BNFs, and I really feel like that's something which applies in the GG fandom at the moment. It's not acceptable to enjoy tumblr how you want to any more, you have to do it the 'proper' way and I think that's a really shitty and dangerous road to start going down 🙃

I’m going to preface this answer with the fact that I have only seen one post related to this on-going tagging conversation - I apparently have everyone involved either blocked or I don’t follow them - so a lot of this is going to be fairly vague since I don’t really know what’s going on and instead I’ll talk a little more about things I’ve noticed from being involved in a couple different fandoms.

And honestly I just have two thoughts:

1 - There’s a fundamental flaw in the concept of negativity. Unlike something like spoilers or say trigger warnings for things like blood - negativity as a construct isn’t quantifiable. It’s subjective and contingent on individual preferences and experiences, key word individual. There’s never going to be a universally accepted form of negativity (with I think maybe some clear exceptions that invoke clearly derogatory or violent language towards the show, characters, or actors).

If I don’t view a scene with Brio as being romantic, am I being negative? If I don’t like Annie’s hair in an episode, is that negative? If I’m disappointed that one of my favorite characters was barely in an episode, is that being negative?

And I think therein lies the overall issue. Because if we were to utilize this term then someone has to define it and make it quantifiable - essentially determining which thoughts are preferable and which thoughts are not and therefore need to be hidden in some capacity. Suddenly we’re all yin and no yang - when a balance of both creates a full picture and perhaps a better understanding. And this doesn’t touch on who gets to make these decisions or who enforces them, etc.

2 - I’m a big supporter of dash curation and I think it’s important in creating an enjoyable fandom experience. But dash curation is ultimately about things that individual blogs can control - who they follow, what they filter - not things that require another blog to change something in their behavior to conform to someone else’s preference.

And this could be about all sorts of things - maybe a blog tags too much or too little, maybe a blog posts too much or too little, maybe a blog is too sexual or whatever for your personal tastes. But it’s ultimately their choice how they blog and when you decide to follow it’s almost like signing a social contract agreeing that you are okay with seeing that content. And sometimes this changes, sometimes you stop being okay with seeing that content - but in that case in my opinion it’s time unfollow or block, not ask a blog to change their content (their voice) to better fit someone else’s preferences.

At the end of the day though I’m just like - do whatever you want on your own blog. It’s your blog. If people don’t like it then don’t engage or unfollow. I’m always a fan of less structure than more.

[I want to add one more thing to this of a more personal nature. As I mentioned above I have largely been not-involved in any of this ongoing discussion (or fandom wank) regarding tagging - I honestly don’t care. But I did reblog what I consider a very neutral post by a friend on this that I happened across one morning and then went on with my life. That’s it.

It has been brought to my attention that since this reblog I have been publicly called out by a blog that I have had blocked for over a year as continuing to engage and insert myself in this conversation as well as spreading lies with a link to another post that was very thinly veiled about me. To my knowledge I am perhaps the only person who has been directly singled out for participating in this fandom dialogue (if you consider reblogging a single post really actively participating) in such a negative manner. Although this is just the most recent in a series of posts that have been attempting to defame my character and reputation in what I can only assume is in hopes of silencing me or having the fandom ostracize me or that I will leave the fandom completely.

And it has always been my policy to not engage or read or do anything with these posts. I have never felt the need to spend my time or energy defending myself to strangers on the internet over what I consider flagrant lies and exaggerations designed to make me look like a horrible monster or making counter attacks or whatever.

However, I’m tired and I don’t appreciate being dragged into a conversation that I was not really involved in just for the sake of a continued character assassination.

I understand and respect that what these blogs are presenting is their version of the truth and doing so in a manner they think is appropriate or necessary. It doesn’t match my truth, but I don’t think they ever will no matter what is said publicly or privately.

And honestly I don’t even care if they want to keep making posts about me or saying whatever they’d like about me (or my friends/”flying monkeys”). That is their prerogative.

I have spent a lot of time so that my fandom experience doesn’t include them, but if they would like to involve me in theirs then again that’s their prerogative.

All I am asking is that if I have a blog blocked or if someone doesn’t like me then they not view with my blog to check what I’m posting (or have someone else do it for them). I am asking for the tiniest benefit of the doubt so I don’t have to worry about policing myself and making my posts as generic as possible to avoid anything being misconstrued as a personal attack. And I am asking that at the very least boundaries I have set (or even others have set that I reinforced) are respected to the point that I can feel safe on my own blog and that I am not found on other social media like Instagram and sent messages about what I post/do.

I just want to talk about my favorite shows and the Suez Canal.]

#asks #i'd be curious about this podcast anon!#please feel free to send it over!#sorry if i don't answer your question #i think you can see why i avoid it a little lol #personal #long post #i think it's sufficient to say #i will not be tagging anything with negativity #and if anyone does not like my content #please feel free to unfollow #or block #do whatever is best for you

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anyu-blue · 3 years

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Not to monologue again, but I do feel it's a better update than disappearing 💙

So I've been hurting. Hurting extremely badly these last few days. All things considered it's possible my sisters have been as well- though as far as I can tell their hurts are healing wounds while I bleed out.

I would like to preface most of this by saying I understand I am flawed. I know I make mistakes. I choose to own up to even those mistakes that hurt to claim. And for this, I know I do my best.

I also know my best isn't everyone else's or even someone else's best. I know my needs do not trump or even match the needs of others. I also know I can be hurtful without ever meaning to be and have not and will not ever say I didn't hurt someone if they say I did.

...

That said... I was resigned to hide away. To make myself small again. To do exactly what was asked or perceived of me. I was content to be completely miserable so that maybe, maybe one other person could be happy and would maybe mercifully allow me to live.

But then I visited a good friend today... Stiflingly my tears and fears the whole way... And somehow, just by being herself and by talking of her experiences while we walked.... She touched very gently on exactly what I'm going through. I was able to get a little of it out in turn and was able to see that... Yeah. Yeah, I'm NOT the worst party here- not by choice not by accident. And yeah... I'm an absolute wreck from dealing with it all or trying my best to... But that, in fact, makes me worthy. Not worthless. I. Am. TRYING. And that's worth something.

...

I have been facing homelessness. My therapist outright said she believes I have not been and I am honestly pissed off at her for that. I have been threatened and hurt and more and no one seems to want to believe me... And I am absolutely sick of it.

I need people. Unfortunately, the people around me also need me, but don't think they do and wish I didn't exist as I am-- only happy when I exist in the most subdued and bleeding possible way. (Elaboration- I've provided my sisters a place to live, paid bills, and and most, if not all the skills they have at their jobs today, alongside their very jobs.. and more- emotional support, physical contact (even if it physically hurts me), ect ect ect... And in return I've gotten, well HURT (bruises, befouled language, emotional abuse, broken promises, threats of violence, threats of being abandoned, told I'm worthless (but they love me anyway), you name it))- especially when I try to be myself or ask for ANYTHING extra or am upset the promises are broken or I'm hurt... I'm only 'safe' if I don't complain or ask or point out where I've been used or hurt or anything else-- I can't be 'too much' or it is weaponized against me)

And I'm sick and tired of being taken advantage of... Being told I'm 'forcing' people to do things they promised me they would do/said they WANTED to do.. and being told I just need to 'let it go' when I am injured or experience direct consequences of their broken promises.. and only getting treated worse instead of seeing an ounce or recognition, let alone any recompense for their actions.

I don't exactly know what to do... The threat of being left to fend completely for myself is very real... Which of course comes with the sting of 'you're an adult, you should be able to handle it' while we all very much know I am in a strange area of disabled (very few if any are disabled by choice, and I will say my having MASSIVE PTSD (that I'm actively working on and will live with for the rest of my life) was certainly NOT my choice).... But I do know I have been and continue to be treated unfairly. If I cannot break through to my eldest sister- as I don't expect to as none of my efforts so far have gotten me anywhere- I am left with finding a solution...

I do not have any parents to fall back on- my dad himself believing all my suffering and ESPECIALLY all the suffering of Tevs is all my fault, my father being closer/more attached to Tevs while I have ever been estranged (and at times actually abandoned by him), my mother being a HUGE POS who is the source most of the trauma I struggle with to this day (I won't go anywhere near her)- which means no other family members to fall back on either as everything filters through my parents first (and let's face it... If they think I'm a problem, so does everyone else).... My friends are all in the same boat of struggling/just getting by... Aaaaand are all super far away/established to a point no room or help is available...

...

I think I might have a plan... And a backup... Neither are pretty. Neither I like... But honestly... I'm sick of being unloved or downright hated by family for being me.. when all I get to be is in tiny tiny blips anyway.. I can only imagine they'll REALLY hate me if I spread my wings.

... I am tempted and might just ask Tevs for the car back. She has obviously never wanted to deal with it (and me being the person I am will not take away any of her privileges of using it while we live in the same place) and has a burning hatred for the money she spends on it/the work it needs. If she says yes, huzzah. It'll really hurt financially as I am already paying double the rent amount both of them are, buying the cats stuff every month, paying off my own debts, and paying my portions of the rest of the bills... But I can do it right now.

That's plan A (it will also have plan B as a part of it, but plan A is doing all of it while having a mode of transportation- much easier on the wallet ironically enough).

Plan B is... Finding a place I can afford- likely the worst of the worst affordable housing out there because I have my Kizzy- and taking cabs/walking wherever I need to go. And not speaking to my eldest sister or likely any of my parents ever again. To become the estranged child... Because I am SICK of being treated differently and of being hated rather than loved and accepted.

People can say they accept you all they want.. and I've tried hard to believe them... But actions speak louder than words do. I've tried to show my love for years... And they hate it/don't appreciate it and it's not right for them.

Fine.

Nor is theirs right for me, though I took anything and everything I could get and will always be extremely grateful for their efforts, rather than completely bitter they weren't right for me.

All of this hurts. But honestly... I think I'll take the pain of actually being alone over being beaten and twisted and hurt all while being told I'm not alone and that I am loved.

#personal #random #life in general #update #uhh probably trigger warnings?#trigger warnings apply #I'm.. so tired of being treated poorly #and yes of COURSE I've considered that I'm just ungrateful and ACTUALLY horrible #especially considering almost every person around me has said I am #but you know what... I'm not grateful for pain and loneliness #and people screaming at me that they're good people when all i ask is for them to see a mistake #i have been hurt. i have been left alone. i have been wronged #and I'm tired of being told it's my fault #tw abuse

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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Grossest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom? pee, poop and blood mixed with vomit all over the place Do you consider your family dysfunctional? all families are toxic, more or less Do you hate people who act like everything is fine when its not? I hate those people, they both want you to leave them alone and guess, they’re annoyed with the fact you wanna know as much as you not caring about them, never satisfied, then blame everybody else, how are we supposed to act if we feel you don’t trust us enough to tell the truth? it’s your own fault! we also have problems, not everything’s about you, if you prefer to kill yourself than speak up, that’s your choice but it means you’re a coward, I’m tired of that behavior

Ever had a body piercing ripped out? never had a piercing so I’m lucky not to be bullied this way

Can you sew/croshet/knit? I know basics but I have no patience so it’s not my hobby Do you put the cap back on the toothpaste after using it? of course :o Have you shot off a firework? never, it’s dangerous, I prefer to look and from afar Are you offended when you see women breast feeding? no

Do you hate when people keep things from you? if we’re close then sure Can you multitask? I can XD

*działam na dwa fronty, boobs, albo na tyłach* Are you too sensitive? hypersensitive Who wears the pants in the relationship? who wears the socks and cowboy hat tho?

If you were given three things to make you happy, what would these be? health, money and no worries How would you rank the following in importance: family, career, love life? family and love life then career as I’m not interested in it

Which would you prefer: having a baby without a partner or a partner without a baby? partner without a baby but tbh it would be better to raise a baby without a partner if I decided to have a kid (I don’t want children though) as there wouldn’t be disagreements on how to nor risk of arguments and then divorce in general which would be super hard for the little one

Do you think God is real, and why? sigh...

Do you believe in giving people second chances, and why? rarely as it’s like putting your hand into fire hoping it will be cold this time, people usually change for worse - not better Do you think people fall in love because the right person has arrived, or because the time is right (regardless of whom the person is that they fall in love with)? because of other reasons usually as I wouldn’t call their relationships LOVE, they’re just desperate, scared of being lonely How important is trust in a relationship? I don’t think I can trust someone completely but still it’s very important to me to trust them as much as I am capable to - if I can’t trust them at all then it won’t work How do you feel about infidelity? it makes people feel like they’re not enough and they also get paranoid later, it causes trauma, person who was cheated on will always be afraid to trust another human being in case someone “better” will show up, nobody is perfect but it’s better if you break up than do smth romantic or sexual behind your partner’s back, nobody deserves it, if you can’t be with one person only then either do open relationships or polyamory or just don’t commit to anyone - one night stands or something - infidelity is caused by wanting more and being impulsive, liking adrenaline, risky behavior, you are some sort of an abuser, not just a liar, because you’re hurting someone who’s supposed to be closest to you, intoxication isn’t an excuse, if you can’t keep it in your pants when you’re drunk then don’t drink too much or publicly - simple as that, love is a promise and you’re breaking it for fun, someone said today that it’s like checking if another branch will snap while still holding another - sounds careful but that’s not the point - it’s just that you should sit on it (stability) instead of jumping trees after you already commited to one of them and made a nest on it, you will break all of the branches (other people) and you will end up on the ground anyway - alone, who wants to be with a cheater? honestly - rapist will always stay rapist even if he won’t rape again and so is the cheating person - they might change but fear will always be a part of their partner for sure, dating is like a competition for many, trying until you find the best match, always looking around, never warming up to anyone in case there’s a better opportunity, constant game that make us anxious, showing off you’re the best player among all and... you actually are a player in both of this word’s definitions, sadly What quality in a person do you fall in love with? it’s not a single separate thing but someone whole I believe, I tried to explain that to myself but it’s very hard, there are some traits I might like more, go for, see as necessities but I’m unable to list them for now - maybe later/someday Do you find it difficult to admit that you are wrong, and why? I am - I don’t care about winning, I want truth and justice, I prefer to be right but without admitting I’m wrong that can’t happen Which would you prefer in a romantic partner: a dreamer or an achiever? dreamer, I dislike overly ambitious and workaholic people What do you think are the two things that prevent people from realizing their dreams? money issues and health problems or time

So the world is dying to know the longest you’ve ever been on an airplane. 0 hours

Speaking of airplanes, can you sleep on them easily or no? no idea

So if I were to touch the place you last itched, would it be awkward? sorta

Have you ever come close to drowning? it was close in my opinion

Is the window in this room currently open or closed? closed

Is your phone fully charged right now? it is indeed

If you gave yourself a symbol (ex: star) to represent you, it would be…? not sure

Combine your two favorite animals. What kind of animal do you get? raccoon + elephant?

If I gave you a box of chocolates, which would you hope to get? I prefer something else than a box of chocolates

Have you ever caught your clothes on fire before? omg luckily not

Are you any good at improv? been told

Do you have any special handshakes with friends? I don’t have... friends :x

Are you better at writing fiction or nonfiction? I’m good at both but I prefer fiction

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

Last song you heard? Crystal Castles - Suffocation Reason you last threw up? meds withdrawal How many pairs of flip flops do you own? zero Do you ever pick up pennies for good luck? I pick up all coins that I find and give them to my dad Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties

If you have younger siblings, how old were you when your siblings were born? not applicable Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it? hell no Have you ever gotten stitches? nope

Think back to the last thing you drank. Did you drink it using a straw? I didn’t Is the sun shining? it’s almost midnight Where did you go today? shopping Have you ever taken a survey while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? I don’t drink or take illegal drugs Where will you be in an hour? in my bed Is anyone irritating you? not atm unless I can count myself Have your parents ever threatened to throw your things away because your room was messy? sorta Is your shirt pink? it’s mostly white Are you going to do more surveys? it’s late and I’m commited to finish this one Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? ... me? Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? yep Are you hungry or thirsty right now? thirsty Do you own a pair of gumboots? eww, gross Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? I might Do you rate people’s attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? rating 1-10 is very hard for me Is there anything that you could cry about right now? shitload of reasons When was the last time you used Facebook? today like every other day Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? our house How many vowels are in your street name? 4 Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? I did not Have you ever been a member of an online dating site? couple Do you know what your neighbours even look like? obvi Do you put ketchup on your fries? yuk

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? uh oh I should check that in my photo album in pics from middle school

Is your dream job attainable? they ain’t

Have you read a newspaper today? we don’t buy/read newspapers

Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? I’m done with school and am unemployed

Have you ever been to a drive-in theatre? no

Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? guitar

Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? camp

Do you live with your parents? still

Are there any embarrassing school pictures of you anywhere in your house? there are

What moment in your life have you been most scared? constantly now last half year

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? long story

Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I make them but barely ever

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? computer

Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? prefer them to cook for me

How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? hope that this will happen soon

Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? I need one

Have you ever ripped your pants in public? even recently

Have you ever thought someone was talking to you, but it turned out they were on the phone? Did you play it off? possibly

Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? can we not talk about it?...

Who was the last person you slow danced with? my gf

Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? often, nothing as I’m disabled

Do you say ‘like’ a lot? used to

Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? at times I did

Do you ever go into photobooths? yay!

What bill do you hate paying the most? I’d hate paying rent as it’s idiotically high

What’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? everywhere can be romantic with a right person

What was your first car? none yet

Favorite guilty pleasure? personal

What celeb do you think resembles you best? basing on look? Cole Sprouse or Maisie Williams but with Juno Temple body

Who from high school would you like to run in to? hmm...

Start a new career or relationship? just get a job as I’m taken

Are any of your toes connected? I don’t have webbed toes

What was the last thing you dreamed about? running from the police... w klapkach

What color is your bedroom carpet? no carpet Have you ever had a black and white cat? all black Would you rather have an STD or share a bed with Michael Jackson? life chose for me and honestly this is probably the first time I’m happy about it Do you have any wallpaper in your house? I wish How many pairs of underwear do you own? lots of panties but not enough bras Who was your primary/elemantary school’s most popular girl? E.O. and A.M. Would you like to learn to play the harp? meh Are your feet ticklish? very and I hate that Do you have a black dog? it’s partially black Who has the prettiest toes, that you know of? feet are disgusting What’s your least favorite season? winter

Do you enjoy walks? sure Can you roll your tongue? I can Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? gimme Would you forgive someone for cheating? hard to tell Have you seen A Clockwork Orange? not interested Do you like to read? occasionally re you a grumpy person? often Do you like cotton candy? never tried and don’t wanna Rap or pop? pop What’s the weirdest flavor of ice cream you’ve tried? rose, amazing! Love or lust? love Do you remember lyrics easily? am I the only one who don’t? :(

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walkineternity · 5 years

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Day 3: Delirium

(The Umbrella Academy x Sandman)

Klaus knew he was in trouble.

He had overdosed again. He tried to stay clean, for Ben and Vanya, for his other siblings, and for Dave. He so very much wanted to see Dave.

But. He tried, okay. Tried so very fucking hard, and everyone was so focussed on Vanya that his efforts weren’t exactly…supported. Ben, of course, knew. And Klaus was grateful to have him. And he didn’t really blame everyone for not paying attention to him. They never really did that in the first place, unless he was causing trouble. And this time, it was because Vanya had nearly ended the world and he got that. He really did. He was trying to be there for them.

But. He was an addict, okay. He can admit that. And…it was so hard to stay clean. He was so fucking high right now. He was so fucking sick right now. And Ben was yelling at him again.

“Fuck! I can’t do this again, Klaus! You were doing so well! Fuck! I can’t even pick up the phone to call the ambulance can I! No! You are going to die in this alleyway and then I’m going to have nobody to talk to and, and, and you can’t leave me alone! Please, Klaus, please! Shit, okay, I’m going to try and get help, okay? I’m going to try.”

Klaus felt himself drift. Ben was still talking, but then suddenly everything was quiet. He didn’t really get how he could still hear Ben with all the drugs in his system, but the other spirits had quieted down. And now, finally, Ben was gone too. He was going to die alone. Like he fucking deserved. His eyes shut, closing over tears that never fell and let the fog take him…

Next thing he knew there was something licking his face. Okay, still alive. Still dying. Probably. He opened his eyes.

Well. Where was he? This wasn’t the alleyway anymore. Maybe he wasn’t dying and he was already dead. But this wasn’t heaven. This was…he wasn’t sure. There were explosions of colours and shapes twisting in and out of existence and he felt simultaneously the highest he’s ever been and stone cold sober. He felt like he was awake and dreaming at the same time.

And in the midst of all this madness, there was a rather ordinary looking dog, who was licking his face.

“Well, hey there, boy. You wouldn’t happen to know the way back to reality now, would you?”

He didn’t know what to expect at this point. And yet it still startled him when the dog stopped licking his face and spoke back. “Ah. You’re awake. Good. You don’t taste very good.”

Klaus frowned. “Actually, I’m a snack. A delicious- wait. I’m…awake.” He sits up and looks around. Nothing was solid. There was no up and no down and he had no clue what he was sitting on because reality kept changing. Okay, he was definitely going crazy. “I don’t think I’m awake.”

“Hm. Well. In a manner of speaking. And in another, you’re dead.”

“Huh.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“Well, I’ve been dead before. And really, I was asking for it anyways.”

The dog tilted its head, considering him, “I should be more specific. You’re only mostly dead, this time. This isn’t Death’s realm, but her sister’s.”

“…mostly dead? What am I? The man in black now?” Klaus hadn’t seen the movie until his teens, when he was homeless and couch-surfing. Or rather bed-surfing. And old lover had the movie on VHS.

“I don’t know what that means.” The dog huffed and then said, “I’m Barnabas, by the way. Not that you asked.”

“Aw, what an adorable name!” Klaus tried to pet him, but Barnabas looked mildly offended and ducked his head away. He looked like he was about to say something snippy when a bunch of brightly coloured fish swam past his head. Klaus had been trying to ignore his surroundings for the sake of his own sanity, but this caught his attention.

And then the…strangest voice followed after. “Ohhh, fishies! Come back here! …Hi, Barnabas!” He couldn’t really describe it. He could understand it, and for the most part it sounded like a young women’s voice, but something was distinctly…otherworldly. The voice sounded how this world looked. Chaotic, ever-changing, pitches and stresses in all the wrong places. It would have been called musical, if it wasn’t so discordant.

And then a figure stepped out of the swirls of colours and then he realised that nothing was ever going to make sense in here. She was colourful herself. Rainbow hair cut in an odd style. Two different coloured eyes and the oddest combination of clothes.

Though, honestly, he couldn’t say anything about his clothes. Currently, he was sporting the same outfit he wore in the real world and, frankly, wasn’t to off from this figure’s choice of clothes.

Well, at least they had something in common. “Nice shoes,” he tries.

The woman (girl? Young lady?) was talking to the dog and the fish, but turned to him at the sound of his voice. She drifted closer and peered down at him.

“Well, hello there, traveler. You seem a little lost.”

Klaus shrugged. She giggled. “Welllll, I suppose that’s, uh, that’s what you call life, now, isn’t it? Just a little bit lost and a lot bit lost! Go-ing on Forever!”

Barnabas came a bit closer to her, to sit beside her, not quite touching, but close. Like he meant to offer her comfort. She absentmindedly scratched his ears, but still didn’t look away from Klaus. Oh, was he supposed to offer a reply?

“Well, I’m hoping that’s not the case. I’ve been trying, lately, you see, to settle down a bit. Stay clean and, y’know, be there for my family. Try to…have a home, a proper one.” His voice grew more unsure as he continued to speak.

She was staring at him as he spoke, but not in his eyes. Just looking there briefly and then looking at his shirt and then his hair. Listening, but just couldn’t keep completely still. As she did, her nail polish changed colour and her ears changed shape and the rainbow in her hair shifted. This whole place was topsy-turvy. Strange how a talking dog named Barnabas was the sanest thing in here.

She looked back up briefly into his eyes and then down at her feet. “It’s Nice to do things for fa-mi-ly. I have many Siblings too. I like to help them sometimes. You said I have nice shoes. Would you like to wear them? We can trade!”

“Um.” Klaus wasn’t really sure what to say. “I don’t think our feet are the same size?”

She frowned. “Oh, what does that matter? Its just for fuunnn. C’mon!” And she proceeded to take off her shoes. Which, were just as colourful as her hair. Rainbow boots that had really neat buckles shaped like the fish that swam around their heads.

His were a solid black heel, stolen from Allison. They pinched his toes, not being the proper size, but they made his legs look gorgeous.

Allison probably wasn’t going to be happy to learn her shoes were traded away, but then again, she probably wasn’t going to be happy with him either way. If he ever made it back, that is.

He decided he should probably say all that out loud, and then he did, because they really weren’t his shoes, but the girl in front of him just sat down to better take of her shoes. “Oh, you’ll get out of Here eventu-ally. I like you, but you’re not mine to keep.” She finally managed to pull off both her boots. She was wearing mismatched socks, but those seemed to vanish. “And your family is just worried about you. If your sssister is mad, it’s only because she cares. You should ask them for help.”

He shrugged and easily kicked off his own shoes, accidently kicking it too close to Barnabas. The dog just looked long-suffering.

“They just think I’m useless and crazy. Well, maybe not Ben, but I’m not exactly doing my best there, y’know? He deserves to follow someone else around. Someone who won’t disappoint him again.”

The girl hummed. “They say I’m crazzzzy too. But that’s alright. Mad-ness isn’t always a Bad thing….it helps when I know too much. Sometimes its nice to have a break from san-i-ty.” Here she started to slip on the heels and gestured at the boots, so Klaus grabbed one and put it on, stamping a little to get his heel in. Huh. Perfect fit. She continued, “And just because I’m mad, doesn’t mean my siblings don’t care about me. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. We aallll make mistakes, even Beings such as us, even little ones such as you, and we…oh, shoot, Barnabas! What’s the word? The- the Big one.”

She glanced around as if the word she was looking for would suddenly appear. “You know. When the butterflies are iiiinn your body instead of outside them. Like stepping off the edge of a cliff, but knowing there is Someone to catch you, or for you to catch them.”

Barnabas opened his mouth to say something, but she snapped her fingers (which made Klaus do a doubletake when the snap sound created visual shockwaves of colour, like they were in some sort of comic book), and then said, “Oh! Love! It’s lo-ve. We all love each other the same. They loved me when I was Delight, and they still love me as Delirium. I mean, look at Bar-na-bas!” She gestured with a heel in her hand. The dog sat a little straighter. “He was a gift to me from one of my bro-thers, to care and look afterrr me, and we’ve become such good friends! Destruction cares in his own way, and I know your siblings do too. You just got-ta….gotta ask, okay?”

Barnabas smiled slightly. It looked a bit weird on a dog, but it seemed gentle. “I think we are the very best friends, my dear Delirium.”

She put the other heel on and bounced up onto them, smiling at them both, at the world around them, at the tiny fish swimming above her head. The black of the heels swirled with spots of colour, but mostly stayed the same.

Klaus finished doing up the buckles on both shoes and stood up too. He reached a hand up and the fish swam through his fingers and around his arm. The rainbow shoes felt warm and comfortable on his feet. He felt a bit giddy. He gave her a big grin and said, “Yeah. Okay. Sure. If I ever manage to get out of here, I’ll ask. Why not!”

She gave him a grin in return. To match. Though hers stretched a little too far on her face. Still friendly, but not exactly a human smile. Her eyes changed colours too, but never the same colours at the same time. A fish swam in front of her face and this distracted her from him.

“Well, how do I get out of here anyways? Not that I don’t mind your company, I should be getting back to the real world.”

She looked back at him and seemed to startle a little bit. “Ohhhh, what were we talking about?”

He blinked and looked at her and then looked at Barnabas, who said to her, in a reassuring manner, “It wasn’t important. Klaus was leaving soon anyways.”

“Hm. My he-ad hurts. Was I talking Rightly again? That always Hurts.”

“Yes, Delirium, but you don’t have to anymore. Why don’t we help Klaus go home and then play with the fish?”

Klaus frowned at Barnabas in confusion. Delirium laughed joyfully and said, “Well, hell yeah! There’s only a few swimming around, buuuut I can make more!” She proceeded to spin around and do exactly that.

Barnabas sidled closer to Klaus and said, “She does that, sometimes.”

“What? Forgets?”

“No. Remembers. The advice she gave you? How coherent she spoke? Does not happen often. You should take heed. The knowledge she has…is vast. So vast that it seems to…hurt her. Now, it’s time for you to go.” He didn’t say this roughly, but there was a sadness when he spoke.

“Thanks,” Klaus said, heartfelt. “And thank her for me, too, even if she doesn’t remember.”

Delirium wandered back over with a great many more fish swimming around, some bigger than others. Some so small he could barely see in the swirl of colours and shapes. “Oh yes! You!” She tapped him firmly on the forehead and said, “Say the magic words!”

“Um, please-”

“Wrong, so wrong. Try again.” And here she clicked her new heels three times.

Klaus couldn’t help it. He laughed. He saw that movie too. And then he copied her action and said the “magic” words, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no pla-”

And then he was in an ambulance, the paramedic’s expression triumphant and relieved. Ben, hovering over him on the other side, looked similar.

“Klaus, don’t ever do that to me again. You are so lucky there was this goth lady around. Apparently, you aren’t the only one that can speak to the dead. She was pretty Zen about the whole thing. Said it wasn’t your time and managed to find a nearby payphone. She didn’t even ask why I couldn’t call the ambulance myself!”

Ben sounded a bit hysterical. The paramedic seemed to be chattering away as he checked Klaus’ vitals. Klaus felt himself tearing up. He could still feel the drugs in his system. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I can’t do this-”

“C’mon, Klaus! I know you’re stronger- what about Dave-”

“No, shit, Ben, just- I can’t do this alone, okay? I-I really need. I need help. I want to stay clean. Please. I just- please. I can’t do this alone.”

The paramedic wasn’t paying attention to his babble, too focussed on actually keeping him alive, but Ben was listening intently. He tried to lay his hand on Klaus’ shoulder, but his hand passed through. Klaus shivered. Ben looked disappointed, but not surprised. He settled for leaning over, close to Klaus’ face, and said, “Never, Klaus. I’m here, okay. And the others…we’ll ask for help from them too. We’re all trying to be a family, right? And….and whatever you need.”

Klaus felt tears in his eyes and with a rough voice he said, “Thank you, Ben. I always knew you were my favourite brother.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged the corner of his lips. “Oh, please. I’ll remember that next time you say that to any of our other siblings.”

“Why would Allison or Vanya be my favourite brother?”

“Fuck off, you know what I meant.” Okay, definitely a smile now.

And then Ben happened to glance at his feet. “Klaus, where the hell did you get those?”

Klaus looked at his feet and saw that he wasn’t wearing Allison’s heels, but rainbow boots. Huh. So not a drug-induced dream.

“Klaus?”

“I’ve been thinking, Ben.”

“Oh no. I didn’t know you could do that.” He gestured at the boots. “Are you not going to answer?”

Klaus ignored him and stared at the boots. “I’ve been wondering if they might allow aquariums in rehab.”

Ben stared at him a little. But he was also long used to Klaus saying weird stuff. “Well. If we manage to use some of dad’s fortune for rehab, they’ll allow us as many fish as we want. If…if that’s what you wanted the aquarium for.”

It was…so fucking nice to hear Ben using “us” and “we” like that. He knew Ben was stuck with him, but it felt…. like he wasn’t alone. That Ben meant it. That he was going to have help this time, from the whole family. And if they used dear old dad’s money…well. That would be icing on the cake. Petty? Yes. Deserved, even beyond the grave? Hell yes. He’s glad that he didn’t have another visit from him. He doesn’t think he could stand anymore revelations or disappointment from him. He’d take a bizarre realm of multi-coloured girls and fish and talking dogs any day.

Though, he really didn’t want to go back any time soon. Being mostly dead was exhausting.

“Yeah, Ben, fish. Lots of colourful fish.” His voice sounded further away, like hearing himself through a long tunnel. Klaus could feel his eyes droop closed.

Ben laughed softly. “Anything you need, Klaus. Have some nice dreams for me, will you?” Klaus’ eyes were closed, but for a flash, he thought he saw someone above him. He couldn’t see features, just a strange helmet and black robes. A pale hand sprinkled shining dust onto him. Onto his closed eyes. And then the figure was gone.

And he swore, right before he drifted off to sleep, that he felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder. But then again, it could have just been his imagination.

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curiousobsession101 · 6 years

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@ichthus95 and a few other people and me are in a Starfinder campaign DMed by one of my two best friends (not @littleblackdragonbayard , one who doesn’t have a tumblr). Originally the party was my character Ressa (a true neutral damaya lashunta), ichthus’ character Sim (a chaotic good ysoki), and Bolt (a true neutral android). Here are some highlights from our campaign so far:

Session 1:

Sim: They did shoot me. Ressa: You wouldn’t have been shot if you hadn’t run out in front of them. Sim: That’s victim blaming! A few sessions later our assignment by the Starfinder society had led to us exploring a derelict ship with a mysteriously missing crew. On the ship we quickly found a lone survivor, a true neutral vesk named Gomorod (technically an npc) who immediately joined out party. It turned out the ship was attacked by monsters that were weak to water, and after the crew was killed some goblins had arrived to collect scrap and had been killed by the monsters too, with only two survivors. Later, same session: Ressa: I give the goblins each a flask of water. DM: They seem slightly disappointed these won’t set anything on fire. Ressa: You can set the ship on fire after we’re done investigating it. Goblins: We can we can?! Ressa (OOC): *laughing* I like them. Can we keep them? Sim (OOC): *also laughing* Yeah!!

(We didn’t set the ship on fire.)

End of that session:

DM: I didn’t expect them to actually survive! Now I have to come up with names and classes for them!! The goblins are called Stinky and Smelly and they’re our unofficial party mascots now. After exploring the ship we went to this asteroid where an android bounty hunter shot at us. We fought and won but didn’t kill him, and he joined our party (Thrynn, a chaotic neutral android played by someone who had joined the campaign late.) Eventually we ended up in a situation that required formalwear and this happened: Sim: Does a lab coat count as formal clothing? Thrynn: Do you have a tie to go with it? Sim: That is a GREAT idea!

Then we were doing some research in a library and Thrynn picked up a book on Aucturn. This whole conversation was OOC: Ressa: Wait you’re interested in Aucturn? Thrynn: Yes. Ressa: And we’ve confirmed you speak Infernal? Thrynn: Yes. Ressa: What’s your alignment again? Thrynn: Chaotic Neutral. This is just professional curiosity. Ressa: Oh yeah, being a bounty hunter means you need to know as much as possible about Nyarlathotep and them. Thrynn: Of course. Ressa: Wait, was it someone on Aucturn who hired you to kill us?” Android 2: “I told you, I don’t know who hired me. Ressa: Maybe it was a shell company on Aucturn! (later, same conversation, still OOC, also Ressa is a priestess of Lao Shu Po): Ressa: Well Ressa wouldn’t question your alignment based on your interest in Aucturn. She’d just find it interesting. Thrynn: Your character worships a death rat. Ressa: Exactly! Much later we’re in a forest surrounded by creatures colloquially called “stingbats”. We’ve killed all but one. DM: The last stingbat looks like it doesn’t really want to fight anymore. Ressa: We should let it go. Bolt: Yeah, no point wasting charges if it’s not even gonna fight otherwise. Later, same campaign after a much tougher fight: DM: The stingbat from earlier shows up and holds out a mark one serum of healing to you. Ressa: Awesome. Can we keep it? Sim: Yeah it can be our new pet! DM: Ugh, NO! Bolt: Aw, why not?

(the stingbat stayed with us for several sessions after that perched on a party member’s shoulder) Thrynn’s player has missed a few sessions for various reasons. Whenever we have a session and he’s not there we joke that Thrynn is updating and the reason it takes so long to update is because he was made by Apple. At one point he was gone for several sessions in a row and we made frequent jokes about how long it was taking him to update. This was during that time:

DM: The fungal spores are no longer dangerous, but they cover the ground in drifts about three feet deep and they stain anything that touches them pink. Sim: That’s almost as tall as I am. Um, I stay behind Gomorod and walk in the path he clears out. DM: Actually, Gomorod picks up Thrynn and basically uses him as a snowplow through the spores. He’s pink all over now. Bolt: A sporeplow! Ressa (OOC): Oh my god, he upgraded to the rose gold version!

A couple sessions later:

DM: Ressa, roll charisma. Ressa (OOC): Um why? DM: Just roll it. Ressa (OOC): Nat 20. My first decent roll today. DM: This creature [shows a picture of a sky fisher] appears in front of you and shoots sticky threads at you. You are now entangled. That roll was to look like the most delicious party member. (a round or two later, having established the sky fisher is a very strong opponent) Ressa: I try to communicate with it telepathically and tell it that whoever’s been shooting at us from on top of that statue must be way more delicious than someone as scrawny as me. DM: It considers for a moment, and then you feel it touch your minds again and say “I will help you.” Later, same session, the sky fisher has eaten the npc on top of the statue. (This conversation is all OOC): DM: Wow, they really didn’t plan for you guys to have telepathy. Ressa: What? But there’s two main playble races with telepathy! DM: I know but they apparently really didn’t expect you to convince the sky fisher the shirren would be delicious. They have TONS of information on what you could have found out from interrogating them. Ressa: Well that sky fisher was super helpful. Could we persuade it to join our party? DM: NO!! Bolt: Oh come on, it’s really good in a fight! DM: OK if you go back to civilization in Castrovel with a sky fisher following you, you’ll be shot on sight. They really don’t like sky fishers there. Thrynn: Why not? DM: THEY EAT PEOPLE! Thrynn and Ressa: So? Sim: But it can turn invisible. Can’t we just have it turn invisible when we get back to the city? DM: If they pass a check they’ll notice it. Thrynn: OK so we just need to get it to fly high enough that it’s too far away for them to notice it if it’s invisible. Sim: How tall are the buildings here? *cue a ten minute long discussion of how to get the sky fisher on our spaceship without being noticed* DM: Well if you ask it to join your party it will tell you it doesn’t like enclosed spaces like a spaceship. Whole party: Aw..

There have been a few jokes during the campaign that instead of a stereotypical “seduce ALL the things!” party we’re an “adopt ALL the things!” party. Also our stingbat ran away before we could take it to the ship with us and we all miss it terribly. Today we had the last session of the second segment of our campaign. Here are the highlights. (Sim’s backstory is that he has been a college student pretty much his entire adult life but he’s decided to take a gap year and gain some real-world experience by temporarily joining the Starfinder Society.)

(this conversation is all OOC, also keep in mind Thrynn and Ressa are the most money-hungry characters in the party) DM: After you get back to the university of Castrovel, you’re offered two options of payment. Either each of you can take a 1000 credit “research grant” or you can take up to three years free tuition at the university. Sim: I’ll take the research grant. Thrynn: Do they have online classes? DM: No. Thrynn: I might just leave the party to get my degree here. DM: It’s only for three years. Thrynn: I’ll take some extra classes, it’ll be fine. Ressa: Yeah honestly, can Ressa ask for a moment to think about it. After what’s happened, she’s discovered an interest in learning about history and other religions. Bolt: Yeah, free classes! Thrynn: We can go back to the Starfinder Society in three years! DM: You do this, you go back three years later and the universe has ended. Thrynn: Not my problem. Ressa: Ressa wouldn’t care. DM: Yes Ressa would care! That’s where she keeps all her stuff! Ressa: But HISTORY! DM: And [our direct superior in the Starfinder Society] is mad at you. Sim: Wait, why’s he mad at us? Ressa: He means he’d be mad at us if we quit the Starfinder Society to go to college. DM: Yeah because you’re well aware that even if what you found out turns out to be wrong, all the Devourer cultists would rally around it and try to destroy the entire universe and you didn’t stop them! Thrynn: OK then just let us take online classes. Bolt: We have a system-wide comm unit now. *several minutes of arguing later* DM: OK! You can take online classes! Jeez! Bolt: Great! Now whenever [Thrynn’s player] isn’t here we can just say Thrynn is doing homework! Sim: Sorry, got a term paper coming up. Thrynn: Look mom! I’m getting smart! DM: Oh god no... (Sim ended up being the only one to take the money and the rest of us are now officially enrolled at the university.) (During this conversation Ressa opens telepathic communications with the other party members so they can talk without Aria hearing.)

DM: OK as you approach your ship you see a cloaked figure approach. She introduces herself as Aria and offers to pay you to take her to Akiton because she has a shipment of cargo to sell. Bolt (OOC): I can’t tell from the picture, what species is she? DM: That’s a life science check. *one of our party rolled high* DM: She’s an elf. *after a little bit of discussion where we talked about how smuggling stuff to Akiton was EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS and we didn’t want to get in potential danger but also most of the party are greedy fucks* DM: She offers to pay you 10,000 credits to take her to Akiton. Ressa (via telepathy): OK her cargo is DEFINITELY illegal. Thrynn (via telepathy): But that’s a lot of money. Ressa (via telepathy): I’m just concerned it might be slaves. Otherwise, it’s fine. Sim: Will your cargo require any food or water during the trip? Aria: With any luck, no. After a little bit of conversation, we discovered we’d misunderstood and the DM didn’t mean she was smuggling cargo TO Akiton, she was smuggling cargo OFF of Akiton and didn’t much care where we brought her and her cargo to as long as there was a population she could sell to and it wasn’t Castrovel.

Sim (via telepathy): OK if she taking cargo from Akiton I’m slightly less suspicious. Ressa, who grew up on Akiton, (via telepathy): You know how I was a drug dealer on Akiton? Sim (via telepathy): Yeah... Ressa (via telepathy): YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS ON AKITON OTHER THAN DRUG DEALERS, SIM? GANGS, CRIMINALS, CEOS DOING ILLEGAL SHIT, SLAVERS! Her cargo coming FROM Akiton rather than going TO Akiton makes it MORE suspicious, not less! DM: She offers to pay you double if you take her somewhere she can sell her cargo. Ressa (via telepathy): Oh man, that’s so much money... Thrynn (via telepathy): Well if we won’t be in danger we can just drop her off somewhere it’ll be their problem. Ressa (OOC): [DM] you said she doesn’t care where we take her? DM: Nope. Ressa (OOC): Can we take her to the Diaspora? DM: It has to be somewhere she can breathe. Ressa (OOC): What about Aballon? Bolt (OOC): She can breathe there as long as she stays underground. DM: You need to take her somewhere there are people who will buy her stuff. Ressa: I know it’s not a planet but if we take her to the kasatha ship- DM: They wouldn’t let her on. Ressa: Darn. Thrynn: What’s on the other side of the Diaspora? DM: Eox. Thrynn: We could take her to Eox. DM: She doesn’t look too happy about it but she accepts your offer to take her to Eox. Ressa: OK if we let her on the ship I think we need to keep her under watch at all times. We can each take turns watching her but I think Gomorod should go first. DM: Gomorod watches her for a day and a night and then tells you he’s refusing to watch her any more. Sim (OOC): Why? DM: She’s creepy. Ressa (OOC): SHE creeps GOMOROD out?? Bolt (OOC): Well elves are generally described as being either ethereally beautiful or kinda creepy. I guess she’s the creepy kind. Ressa (OOC) (I’ve never done a pathfinder-style campaign before this): Pathfinder elves are weird. Either way, if Gomorod is creeped out that’s VERY suspicious. But we can rotate who keeps watch so each of us watches for a day and a night at a time and he doesn’t have to watch her for more than that at a time. Bolt, Sim, and Thrynn (OOC): OK sure. DM: Gomorod refuses to watch her at night. Ressa (OOC): Oh. Well we can rotate day and night shifts so he only watches her during the day. DM: He agrees to that.

Pretty much the whole time Aria is on board and Ressa is awake, Ressa keeps telepathic communications open with Thrynn, Bolt, Sim, and Gomorod.

Sim: I’ll take the next night watch. DM: *sends Sim a private message of what he observes* Sim (OOC): Well now I know why Gomorod was creeped out. The rest of us (OOC): What is it? Won’t you tell us? Sim (OOC): Yeah, I’ll tell the others. DM: She never blinks, and at night her eyes glitter like diamonds. Bolt (OOC): So do we know if this is a normal elven thing? DM: No, you know that elf eyes don’t do that.

Later, we’ve long since picked up her cargo and we’re almost at Verces where we intend to drop off another passenger. This is Sim’s home planet and he plans to use family connections to help her find a job.

Sim (OOC): So how many siblings should I have? DM: About a hundred. Ressa (OOC): So what you’re saying is they breed like rats? DM and Sim (OOC): Yes. Ressa (OOC): So can I roll Diplomacy to try to get [Aria] to answer more questions about herself? Sim (OOC): Is it Ressa’s turn to watch her? Ressa (OOC): She can volunteer to take this shift even if it’s not her turn. [DM] can I roll Diplomacy to ask her questions? DM: You can ask her questions, but don’t bother to roll. Just roleplay this part. Ressa: *asks general questions about the cargo* Aria: *reaffirms that the cargo is not alive but otherwise deflects the questions* DM: You notice that at the back of her head, something seems to be moving under her hood. Aria: *a couple more questions later she excuses herself to the bathroom* Ressa: *follows at a distance and stands in the hallway leading to the bathrooms while Aria is in there* Thrynn (via telepathy): I’m gonna sneak in and try to look at one of the crates. Ressa (via telepathy): I’ll tell you if she comes out of the bathroom. Thrynn: *a few successful rolls later, manages to look in one of the crates* DM: You can see that it’s a statue, but you can’t make out details through the packing peanuts. Ressa (OOC): They still use packing peanuts? DM: Yes, but they’re magic packing peanuts. Bolt (OOC): Are they edible? DM: No, but the ones that fall out of the crate disappear instead of getting everywhere. Later, after Thrynn has made it look like he never opened the crate and left, Ressa and Aria are back in the room, and Ressa’s made a bit more idle chitchat with her: Aria: I’m a bit bored in here with my cargo. Ressa: Would you like me to get you a deck of cards? Aria: I guess. Or maybe I could see more of the ship? Thrynn (via telepathy): If we get her into the holodeck we could set up a game of poker and at some point one of us could “trip” and pull her cloak off. Ressa: We have a holodeck. *smiles* Thrynn just said he’d like to play cards with you. Aria: Ah, right, telepathy. Ressa: *laughs slightly and waves her antennae* That’s a common reaction. *inwardly makes a mental note because even if Aria isn’t an elf we picked her up from Castrovel where almost every sentient native species is telepathic so it seems odd at best for Aria to react that way*

(OOC Thrynn made it very clear one of his plans was to try to seduce Aria into either admitting what she was or taking off her cloak.)

Thrynn (OOC): Wow, Ressa’s doing really well at poker. Ressa (OOC): Yeah, see, I can roll high when the rolls don’t actually matter! Thrynn (OOC): We’re almost at Verces, right? DM: Yeah. Thrynn (OOC): Can we slow down so we don’t get there just yet? Bolt, who is in another room, (OOC): I’m part of the telepathic skype call right? Ressa (OOC): Yeah, with this psychic booster we got Ressa can communicate telepathically almost all the way across the ship. Sim (OOC): But I’m the pilot! I’ll do it. Just give me an excuse to leave. Thrynn: I’m parched. Sim, do you think you could get us some drinks? Sim: What kind of drinks? Thrynn: Pan-galactic gargle blaster. Ressa (OOC): NO we need to not be incapacitated. Thrynn (OOC): Virgin pan-galactic gargle blaster! Ressa (OOC): Every single ingredient is a strong intoxicant and some of them are fatal! Thrynn (OOC): A virgin pan-galactic gargle blaster is just water.

Eventually we settled for Starfinder equivalents of vodka, tequila, and whiskey. It quickly became clear that Aria either isn’t affected by alcohol or has an insanely high tolerance. Also we weren’t getting to Verces until this whole thing reached some kind of conclusion.

Thrynn (OOC): So now we won’t get there until after nightfall right? Ressa (OOC): Yep so you get to tell her her eyes sparkle.

Ressa: *to Aria* I have some really good hyperleaf if you want some. Aria: Alcohol is the only drug I do. Ressa: *nods* *says via telepathy* She doesn’t know what she’s passing up. I NEVER give my drugs away for free.

Thrynn: Let’s make things a little more interesting. The winner drinks one shot, and the loser drinks two. Ressa (via telepathy): I deal drugs. I don’t do drugs! Thrynn (via telepathy): You can drink shots of water it’s fine. Ressa (via telepathy): No I’m doing this. I just won’t be drinking much. Ressa (OOC): She’s probably a super lightweight. Sim (OOC): Well she’s very light weight. Ressa (OOC): Exactly! Plus she’s never gotten drunk in her life.

Ressa (OOC): Wait you’re drinking booze in real life?? Thrynn (OOC): I’m a method actor!

Thrynn: So you’re from Castrovel right? Aria: Yes. Thrynn: *starts making small talk in Castrovellian which we all speak* Aria: *responding in Castrovellian but no more talkative than before* Ressa: *looking at Aria’s empty glass* *speaking in Elven* Want another drink? Aria: Y-yes? DM: Aria is hesitant, like she’s not sure she’s responding correctly. Ressa: *in Castrovellian because most of the party doesn’t speak Elven* Sim could you get Aria a refill? Sim: Sure. Ressa: *to Aria, in Elven again* Don’t you speak Elven? Aria: *turns to Thrynn and speaks in either Common or Castrovellian it wasn’t specified* Want to play another round? Ressa (via telepathy): She doesn’t speak Elven!

DM: Gomorod’s getting tipsy. Aria doesn’t look affected at all. Party: Seriously??

Ressa (up to this point hasn’t had anything to drink): I shoot Thrynn a dirty look and down the two shots. Thrynn (via telepathy): You could just drink water. Ressa (via telepathy): I’m hoping if I’m theatrical about this I’ll amuse her.

Thrynn: Let’s make this more interesting. *takes a flower out of his bag that had previously been employed as a sort of magical lure that almost got Ressa and Bolt killed and even now is remarkably well preserved* If you win, I give you this flower. If I win, you drink that entire bottle of booze. Aria: Are you flirting with me?? Thrynn: Are you declining the challenge? Aria: Fine. Thrynn lost his flower but the round after that Aria lost. DM: After downing the whole bottle, you notice Aria starting to act slightly tipsy. Party: FINALLY! Ressa: *loses again* I guess I have to pay up. If you don’t want my drugs, I don’t have much... Aria: I don’t think you have anything I want. Ressa: Are you sure there’s nothing I could give you that you might want? Sim: That sounded very suggestive. Ressa (OOC): Oh thank god. In real life I’m super aro ace. I don’t know how to flirt!

Thrynn: Well I don’t really have anything else to wager. Let’s make this more interesting. How about strip poker? Thrynn (OOC): OK what does Ressa take off? Ressa (OOC): *almost says she takes of her shirt but then realizes something* Is casual clothing in the Starfinder universe equivalent to clothing in real life? DM: Yeah. Ressa (OOC): OK then- DM: She can take off her jacket. Ressa (OOC): Would she even be wearing a jacket? Oh whatever, she takes off her jacket. DM: Aria takes off the jacket she wears under her cloak. Thrynn can briefly see her forearms before she hides them under the table. They’re scaly. DM: Aria takes off her vest. Ressa (OOC): How many layers is she wearing?! DM: It’s in the picture. Sim (OOC): A lot.

Aria: I know what you’re trying to do. *gets up and walks to the door* Ressa: I follow her. Wait. It’s just that we know you’re lying to us. I’m not usually such a stickler for the truth but we need to be absolutely sure you’re not a danger to us. We weren’t trying to antagonize you. Aria: *sighs* I guess you’re going to pull this out of me no matter what. *reaches for her hood* Ressa: *hurriedly* Just don’t attack us and we don’t have a problem. DM: She pulls back her hood. She’s a medusa.

Thrynn (OOC): This makes me nervous about the statues. Bolt (OOC): Can flesh to stone be reversed? Sim (OOC): Yeah, flesh to stone can be reversed by a strong enough mystic.

Long story short, our characters questioned her and it turns out she’s spent her life making a living by turning “perverted” criminals into statues and selling them to rich people around the system as art pieces. She hid her identity because most races are pretty prejudiced against medusas because of the whole turning people to stone thing. Our characters immediately relaxed when we found this out.

Sim: We’re almost at Verces. Would you like to sell your cargo here instead of waiting for us to get to Eox? DM: She very much prefers selling on Verces than Eox. Necromancers and scavengers really don’t like medusas.

Once she realized we weren’t going to treat her badly because of her race, Aria asked to join our crew.

Ressa: Well we work for the Starfinder Society. You wouldn’t get much chance to do the kind of work you’ve been doing. Bolt: Plus there’s lots of firefights. Ressa: Is that OK with you? Bolt: All the bullets... Aria: A life of investigation and adventure? Count me in.

Aria: Plus I prefer to live somewhere people don’t want to stone me. Ressa: Is that why you refused the hyperleaf?

Sim: So I’ll ask my hundred or so siblings. Actually, we slowed down going to Verces, right? So it’s probably more now. Ressa: It’s only been a few hours! Also, your parents really need a hobby. Bolt: They have one! Thrynn: And they’re very good at it.

Sim: I hope nobody here is lactose intolerant because EVERYTHING in this dinner is gonna have cheese in it. Ressa: Even though Ressa has a clear spindle she’s gonna try a little bit of everything because she’s never had such good food in her life. She’s had Akiton-whatever-she-could-scrounge-up food and tasteless protein wafers and that’s it. And she’s going to compliment the chef. Aria: Aria too. She’s never had a home-cooked meal in her life.

Sim (OOC): Wait. [DM] I think my mom’s gonna have a SEIZURE when she sees Ressa. Ressa (OOC): Um she’ll try to placate her and explain that yes, she grew up starving on Akiton but she has a clear spindle now and doesn’t actually need food or water so she’s fine. DM: Will she have an issue with Aria keeping her face covered? She won’t want them to see her glittering eyes. Sim (OOC): She’ll be fine with that. She’ll just be upset I’m letting my friend go around malnourished.

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craniumaniac-moved · 7 years

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【 night of the lockdown . 】✘

a discord rp ft. @tender--age--in--plume

This roleplay is set during the night of the Po Town lockdown put into effect by Plumeria after a bomb threat. The threat was a result of the events that took place the previous night when Rico ( @komala-scientist ) purposefully baited Guzma to beat him up. Warning: It’s long, took us over 12 hours to get done, and it’s emotional.

Mercifully, things have begun to quiet down. Shady House is fuller even than usual, with many team members having chosen to stay in the main house due to the lockdown rather than overflowing into the surrounding houses as is typical. The beds are packed and many have piled up on the floor like dogs. Plumeria doesn't mind, She likes knowing exactly where everyone is, especially at a time like this. Unable to sleep, she laps around the mansion and checks in again and again. Eventually her travels lead her to the Throne Room; she hesitates with her hand on the knob for a moment before sighing and letting herself in. "Hey, G."

While it may have been a hectic day for everybody else, it had been a quiet one for the Skull Boss. Holed up in his room and not communicating with anyone, he napped, he snacked, he drank, he smoked, he watched porn, and he played some GTA and even some Pokemon Crossing. Currently, he sat on his bed, a drawing pad open in front of him, many colored pencils scattered around him, and a bottle of gin nestled between his legs. He's surprised when she comes in, looking up with a small gasp. She'd been keeping him updated professionally, but other than that he didn't think she wanted anything to do with him currently. This mess was all kind of his doing ( but mostly Rico’s, as he would strongly argue ), although he wasn't taking it very seriously himself. He considered the entire series of events to be completely stupid, to put it frankly. "Hey, P. Sup."

There's a little pause as she notes his relaxed posture, a hint of resentment welling in her. The door closes behind her and she folds her arms, regarding him with a cool gaze. "Have a nice night?"

He shrugs, looking back down to his drawing pad to continue coloring something in. "I guess... Just tryin'a keep chill."

A small sigh ... she approaches the bed and comes to sit next to him.

He's quiet for a little bit as he puts the finishing touches on a Scolipede doodle. When he's done, he decides a big swig of his drink is overdue, still finding it hard to look at her. "How're you doin'...?"

"Shitty," she replies honestly, leaning over to slump against him. "Long night. Think shit's coolin' down now though."

"Ya prolly deserve some good sleep, y'know..." Another swig.

"Maybe ... was worried about you, though." She glancing at the sketchbook. "Guess maybe I shouldn't'a been ... looks like you ain't been much bothered."

"Oh, 'm bothered, that's fo'sure." He reaches to flip to the next blank page in the sketchbook, starting to think of what to draw next. "But I ain't scared."

There comes a small huff through her nose. "You ain't scared'a nothin'."

"Well... guess 'm lyin' a lil bit. I'm scared'a you bein' upset wit' me..."

Silence, for a few moments. "...I ain't very happy right now, that's for sure. But ... I dunno. I ain't really pissed at you."

In those few moments, he grabs a black colored pencil and nearly puts it to the paper multiple times before he realizes he can't draw with someone watching, not even Plumeria. A sigh. He closes the sketchbook and starts to bundle up the pencils. "I'unno what ya want me to do. I didn' fuckin' do nothin' wrong..."

Sighing deeply, she leans back against the headboard. "I know. I was pissed at you for not tryin' and then you tried and Rico went and fucked shit up. I just ... I dunno why you couldn't both try make it work for me. When one'a you was tryin' the other one was makin' shit hard and then you switched places. I was real excited when I thought shit might actually be okay ... I wanted it so bad. More then I ever wanted anything. And now it's all shit."

"Yo I fuckin' learned from my mistake before, s'why I was tryin' to try last night. Rico's a fuckin' idiot t'not go 'long wit' it." He flops his art supplies to the floor next to the bed, stretching out his legs and leaning back with her, gulping down some drink as he does so. "I knew you'd be real excited. I was, too. Not really to be his friend or nothin' but I knew it'd make ya happy... n' proud'a me. I was real proud'a myself, steppin' back 'fore I dove in givin' him a hard time, instead decidin' on tryin'a relate to him somehow. Even if it was just our fuckin' birthdays bein' around Halloween." A pause. "Yeah. It is all shit. I'm real, real sorry, Plumes. He's not gettin' another chance wit' me after pullin' that shit on me..."

She anticipated that, but it's still painful to hear. She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them, resting her forehead against the backs of her knees. "I know."

But wait, there's more. The kingpin's about to go on a tipsy ramble. "He fuckin' used me, Plumeria. Asshole was thinkin', 'Hurr durr I wanna get hurt 'cause boohoo I hate me! I know what I can do! I can go make the big dumb thug get mad! I'll take advantage 'a how easy it is to piss him off 'cause he's so stupid! Insert some random ass gibberish ain't nobody got time for! And fuck Plumeria's feelin's to hell 'cause obviously I don't give a shit about her!' Arceus damn!" A deep breath. He's clutching the neck of the gin bottle so tightly his hand is trembling and his knuckles are white. "Ya tol' me to shut up earlier when I was tryin'a say this, but you keepin' close to him got me real worried."

As he speaks, she closes her eyes. Okay, Melia. Keep it together. Slowly, gradually, she unwinds, stretching her legs back out and sitting up to square her shoulders. How stupid of her to think that coming to him would give her a soft place to land. "Yeah, well. I wouldn't be who I am if I gave up on every person who hurt me," she replies stiffly.

Finally, he turns his head to look at her. "You tryin'a hold on like he's family, but he ain't yo' family, Plumeria. That's me, that's all'a Skull, that's Tutu n' anybody else you close wit' who don't fuck wit' us like T n' even Hyde. I been fucked wit' by Rico, so's T."

"You tellin' me you want me cut him out?"

He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, becoming distressed. "I can't control what ya do. Jus' don't be fuckin' disappointed in me for not acceptin' him like he's part'a the fam."

Time passes. At last, a slow nod. "I understand." She's still not looking at him.

And he looks away. Hugging the bottle close to his stomach with one hand, his other hand covers his eyes as he hunches over. "I'm sorry..."

Her eyes snap closed again. "I'm sorry, too."

"You still gonna be disappointed in me, aren't ya?" Shuddering sigh. "Dammit, I was so proud 'a me, Plume, I really was... Couldn't wait for you bein' proud 'a me, too..."

"I ain't disappointed in you, G. I'm just ... disappointed. I really wanted this, and I--thought I could trust him." Her voice breaks.

He sits up, places his bottle on the floor and scoots himself over to her, arms slipping around her for a Komala hug. "It's gonna be aight, y'know..."

The moment he touches her ... she breaks. It starts with a sharp, haggard gasp and a flinch, her eyes shutting tight as her body tenses up, and then continues with ugly, shuddering sobs that wrack her body.

Although it's not something he has never experienced with her before, the reaction admittedly startles him. He doesn't know whether to stop or to hold on tighter, so he simply loosens his grip for the time being. "Plumes...! Shhh... I got ya, Plumes...," he attempts to soothe.

She grips his arms around her tightly as though to keep him from slipping away, squeezing, gulping down deep, wet breaths until she calms down enough to speak. "...Sorry."

Since she seems to want him to continue holding, he squeezes and he doesn't stop, rocking her back and forth slightly. "That's okay, P. Just let out what ya need to. G's here for ya."

"I'm––s–so–––fuckin'–––tired..." She chokes, gritting her teeth hard as she tries to swallow down the fresh wave.

"C'mon, let's put ya to bed then? You been workin' real hard today..." He doesn't quite get it.

"No...not tired like that. Tired of this." She sniffs wetly, lifting a hand to swipe at the tears that have fallen.

"Oh..." He lovingly kisses her cheek and the edge of her jaw, hoping to further comfort her. "I still don't quite get what ya mean... What's 'this' exactly...?"

She stammers, then takes a big, shaky breath. "I just...spent all day...talkin' to the fam, textin' with Aether, dealin' with people wanna kill you, makin' sure everybody safe, dealin' with Nanu...and you been in here drawin'. 'Cause you think it's all stupid. Well, maybe it's stupid for you...maybe this all real fuckin' easy for you...but it ain't easy for me. It's hard. I never signed up for do this all alone. You s'posed'a have my back." A ragged breath. "Maybe...maybe you don't even care. Maybe this all sounds like more bullshit 'cause you don't think you did nothin' wrong...like that makes it better...like that means less fallout for me. Well--at least you got somethin' you wanted outta it all." She sighs. "I stayed home."

His mouth falls open and slowly and unsurely... he lets go of her. Maybe he deserved it, but that really, really wounded him. "Nobody came t' me 'bout anything...," he says weakly. "An' I didn't come to nobody 'bout anything neither 'cause I felt like I'd fuck it up. I'd get mad we was even havin' to deal with this stupid shit Rico's dumb friends brought on us 'cause they ain't know shit, 'cause he can't fuckin' make it clear he asked for it, makin' me out to be all fuckin' wrong when I—" Deep breath. He doesn't want to get off track. "Plumes... I'm real thankful ya stayed home... real thankful for all the shit you done today... been wantin' to talk to ya but I thought you was still too mad at me..." Suddenly standing from the bed, he begins pacing the room to help expend some of his newfound anxious energy before he possibly cracks, pulling at his hair.

Her eyes follow him. When he stands she wraps her arms around herself and draws a deep breath. "I know...I know." Her eyes slip shut. "I don't..." Fuck it, Melia. He doesn't understand. He gonna think me stupid. Trust him. "I don't wanna lose my dad. Again." She winces, bracing herself as though for impact.

He stops his pacing and just stares at her, hands still gripping his hair, but the tenseness in his posture goes limp with a heavy exhale. "Plumes... He ain't your dad. Even if he was he ain't been a good one, 'specially not that I ever seen."

"No...you ain't ever seen it. And you never asked, either." Her face is expressionless.

"What's'at s'posed to mean...?"

"Just ... there's more to it than you ever saw. There's more to it than I ever told you. You actin' like you got all the information ... and you don't."

He lowers himself to the floor, sitting and curling into a ball in the middle of the room. "I try stay outta yo' business like'at...," he mutters. "And... look... I been there, done that havin' a father in my life n' it's jus' not somethin' I think's worth it. Hard for me t' get, hard to want to. But if there was stuff ya wanna tell me I'd'a listened..."

Slowly, she sinks to the ground and crawls over to settle down beside him, hesitantly lifting a hand to gently stroke his back. "I... never really thought you wanted for hear it. Maybe I could'a prevented all this if I been more honest with you." She sighs. "I know it ain't a topic you got good feelin's about, but ... I dunno. It's important for me. Was important for me ... still is important for me. Just ... I guess maybe I gotta make a choice now." She bites her lip. "Nothin' I want for myself can be more important than my fam ... no matter how bad I want it."

"What options you think you got...?" His head is lifted and he turns toward her. Selfishly, he'd want her to cut Rico out. The things the man has done around him and said to him about his family—their family—are unforgivable, really. But if he is truly a father figure to her who makes her happy, Guzma doesn't want her heart broken... He'll try his best to accept whatever she chooses.

"That's the thing, G. I dunno if I got an option."

"Well then I mean what're you thinkin'...?" He uncurls himself from the position he was in and once again puts his arms around her.

"I'm thinkin'..." Deep sigh. She shuts her eyes and stiffens, refusing to lean into his embrace—not out of anger, but because she needs herself to be strong at the moment. "I'm thinkin' I been puttin' my own needs ahead'a my fam too long. If it gotta come down between him and their safety... it's gotta be them."

Guzma gives a nod. "My opinion's prolly obvious, but I do think that's smart thinkin'..."

So ... that's it. She goes stone silent and still.

"I'm... sorry. I don't want you hurtin'..."

"It don't matter." She stands. "You okay?"

"Yes it fuckin' does matter." He stands as well, letting her slip out of his arms and ignoring her question.

"G... don't."

"Don't what?!"

"Don't make this harder for me."

A big sigh. "Aight. Fine. I'll shut up."

"'M doin' what you want and what's best for the fam. You ought'a be happy." She pauses and drops her gaze, glancing towards the door. "So should I."

"I mean, I guess, yeah... but still hurts seein' you hurtin'. Always will."

"Yeah, well ... I had my chance. I fucked it up." Her words are cold--not cold like ice, but cold like a corpse.

"You didn't fuck up nothin'."

"Yeah. I did."

He crosses his arms and looks away, not wanting to argue anymore.

Silence.

"I love you. Missed ya lately, too..." His gaze is still averted.

"...I love you, too."

He looks at her with a tiny smile.

He does not receive one in kind. "You need me tonight, G?"

Swallow. Noticing she doesn't smile back, he loses his. "Uhm..." He shakes his head. A lie.

"I'm gonna need a couple hours off-base. I wanna tell him in person." She doesn't meet his eye.

"...'Kay."

Anguish.

"What is it, P? If you done here, if ya don't need me, ya can go on..."

She shakes her head. "Ain't about not needin' you. You know that, yeah?"

Nod. "Uh-huh. So what you still here for?"

"Nothin', I guess." She doesn't move.

He just stands there, looking at her with a subtle glare.

...Sigh. "A'ight. Later, G." Finally, she turns to go.

He almost stops her, wishing he could give her a quick kiss, but is afraid she'll reject it after how the past few days have gone. "Lemme know how shit goes. I'll be awake, I'll be here for ya."

There's a brief pause in the doorway. "...I know. Thanks, Guzma." She doesn't look back. The door closes behind her.

He sighs, finding his unfinished bottle of liquor to continue nursing the thing, and places himself on his throne so his bed doesn't tempt him to pass out.

#tender age in plume #komala scientist

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years

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Which New Car Would You Buy?

Last week via email, reader David Hatch asked: If you were going to buy a new car, what would you get do you think? I wrote a short email replythen decide this topic is worth a deeper dive (of only for my own personal edification). You see, Kim and I have been talking about cars lately. Mine is fifteen years old and hers is over twenty. Although both are running fine, we realize that well have to replace one (or both) of them in the near future. When we do, what will we buy? What kind of new car is right for Kim? What kind of car is right for me? Lets start by looking at the cars Ive owned in the past. Every Car Ive Ever Owned I am not a car guy. Even though I can appreciate nice cars, I dont have any desire to own them. Im not sure why. Maybe its because my parents never had nice cars when I was a kid. They had practical, serviceable vehicles that got the job done. During my 33 years of driving, Ive owned five cars. In high school, I inherited my fathers 1980 Datsun 310 GX. I drove that little red beast until it died during my senior year of college. I had a lot of fun with the Datsun, but I treated it poorly. The best part about this car was that I could perform a lot of the maintenance myself even though I dont have much mechanical knowledge. (Driven from March 1985 to March 1991 six years.) After the Datsun died, Dad bought me a $1000 Ford Tempo as a college graduation present. It was a POS from the start. I drove it for less than six months before giving up on it. (Driven from March 1991 to September 1991 six months.) When I landed my first job (which turned out to be the worst job I ever had), I also bought my first new car: a 1992 Geo Storm. Naturally, I bought it on creditbefore Id even received a paycheck. I loved that $12,000 car the entire time I owned it. (Driven from September 1991 to December 2000 9.25 years.) On 01 December 2000, a semi sideswiped my Geo Storm on the freeway during morning traffic. The car spun 360+ degrees before striking an overpass guardrail, deploying the airbag. The car was totalled; fortunately, I wasnt hurt.

After the accident, I purchased a brand-new 2001 Ford Focus from a friend who worked at a local dealership. I paid $15,000. I hated that car from Day One. It was awful. (I should have read the Consumer Reports reviews before buying; I would have steered clear!) I bought that vehicle with a loan too. (Driven from December 2000 to April 2009 8.25 years.) In 2009, after years of dreaming about it, I realized I could afford to buy a used Mini Cooper. By this point, Id been writing GRS for three years, so I put my own advice into practice. I shopped around. I bought used. I paid $15,000 cash. Ive owned that 2004 Mini Cooper for more than nine years now. In fact, as of this month, its the car Ive owned longest in my lifetime.

As you can tell, when I buy a car, I tend to drive it for a long time. I rarely (if ever) get the new car itch. I wish I could say this was because Im rational about my car-buying decisions, but thats not it. Im just not a car guy. (Computers, though? Well, I want to upgrade my computer every year. I am a computer guy.) But David didnt ask about the cars Ive owned in the past. He asked what car Id buy new. What Kim and I Own Now Kim and I have been thinking about this question for a couple of years now. Neither of us is eager to buy a new vehicle, but from a pragmatic perspective, were both going to have to do so relatively soon. I currently own the afore-mentioned 2004 Mini Cooper (with roughly 150,000 miles) and a 2016 Harley-Davidson Street 750 motorcycle.Kim owns a 1997 Honda Accord (with roughly 240,000 miles) and a 2005 Harley-Davidson Sportster motorcycle. Both of our cars run about like youd expect. Kims is very reliable and never has major maintenance issues. It also has air conditioning that works. (The Mini has a coolant leak that Im unwilling to pay to have fixed, so we no longer use it for long summer trips.) Ive had to spend a few thousand to repair the Mini over the past couple of years, but its running fine at this moment. Ive been setting aside $600 per month in my car fund, Kim told me the other day. Before our RV trip, she was saving for a new car, but she cashed out that money to help pay for our travels. I have about $12,000 saved now. Thats not enough for a new car especially not for a Tesla Model 3 but its a start. You plan to sell your Honda to the girls at some point, right? I asked. We know two sisters who should be getting their licenses soon. Kim has promised them they can have her Honda for $500. Yep, Kim said. Thats the plan. But should I do that if I dont have enough saved to pay cash for a new car? Thats a tough question, I said. You could always drive my Mini Cooper to work. I dont use it much during the week. And for about half the year, I could ride my motorcycle instead. Im not sure what Id do during the winter. Well, are you still thinking about buying a beater pickup? Kim asked. Since moving to our country cottage last summer, weve come to realize that our lives would be much easier if we had something that would let us haul lumber and ladders and dirt and gravel and plants and furniture and so on. Im hoping to find a small pickup that runs well priced at a few thousand dollars. Yes, I still think the pickup is a good idea, I said. And that could certainly be my winter ride. I guess we dont have to make any decision yet, Kim said. We dont have to decide anything until one the girls learns how to drive. What Kind of Car Would I Buy? Although I spend most of my road time in vehicles that are fifteen or twenty years old, this year Ive had a lot of exposure to modern cars. During both my trip to Florida in January and my trip around the Southeast in April, I rented a car. Ive spent four weeks of 2018 essentially test-driving modern mid-sized sedans. They all feel like theyre from the future. (I think I had a Nissan Versa for one trip and a Hyundai Elantra for the other.) Ill admit: I like some of the new features. Back-up cameras are kind of cool. Sound systems that automatically pair with your phone are awesome. I like the whole keyless thing, too. (The other night, Kim pointed out that her car was so old that we still have to hand-crank the windows!) While visiting Nashville in April, a friend gave me a ride in his new $150,000 Mercedes. Holy cats! The interior of that thing was like the U.S.S. Enterprise (the fancy Picard-era Enterprise, not the utilitarian Kirk-era Enterprise). I have no desire to own a luxury automobile, but I can certainly appreciate the design touches. If Kim were to buy a new car, shed buy the Tesla Model 3. Shes a fan of electric vehicles. If she cant afford a Tesla when it comes time to buy a new car, I suspect shell end up with a Honda or Toyota hybrid. (Im not sure, though. I havent asked her.) She just wants a comfortable, reliable car to get to and from work, and for us to use on long road trips. Me? Well, Ive delayed answering this question for more than 1000 words because I dont really know which car Id buy if I had to buy a new car. Lets think it through together. I prefer smaller cars. I have zero desire to own a modern truck or SUV. I dont want a minivan. I dont want a large sedan. I like vehicles with small footprints. Theyre easier to park, fuel efficient, and generally more agile.I like something a little sporty. Im not a fast driver, but I do like to be able to accelerate now and then, either to overtake another car or to enjoy twisty country roads.I want a car with ample cargo space. As I mentioned earlier, I haul stuff all the time, so I want a vehicle that lets me carry stuff from the hardware store. Itd also be nice if I could transport a kayak or two. (Believe it or not the Mini has decent cargo room. It certainly has more usable cargo space than Kims Accord.) Based on this, Id focus my search on three classes of vehicles: compact pickup trucks, compact cars, and subcompact cars. Unfortunately, compact pickup trucks are a dying breed. Yes, Ford is bringing back the Ranger in a few months, but currently there are only five options in this category. The only one that gets good reviews is the Honda Ridgeline, and that costs $30,000 or more. There arent many options in the world of subcompact cars, either. Most of those options also get poor reviews (and low customer satisfaction scores). There are plenty of choices in the world of compact cars, however, and at prices that dont scare me. Both the Toyota Corolla and Toyota Prius are highly-rated and affordable. That said, if I bought a compact car, Id probably pursue a Mazda 3 or Hyundai Elantra. Plus, Id have to consider the modern Mini Cooper. (My ex-wifes boyfriend is a mechanic and fellow Mini fan. Hes warned me that newer Minis are both larger and less reliable, so Im skeptical that Id choose a Mini again. But I do love mine.)

The Bottom Line So, which new car would I purchase? Honestly, I dont know. I dont want to buy a new car, and I hope I dont have to make this sort of decision for many years. Having said that, I am absolutely in the market for a beat-up but reliable pickup preferably a compact pickup. Something like this seems perfect:

As a wildcard, I suppose a used Subaru Outback might be a smart choice for me also. (Actually, a Subaru Outback would be an excellent choice for our current lifestyle.) The older I get, the more I view vehicles as tools. Theyre not status symbols for me. I dont get an adrenaline rush from a souped-up sports car. Right now, I want a car that runs reliably, allows me to haul stuff, and doesnt take up a lot of space. Thats it. (Except when we take long road trips which happens two or three times each year I dont care about comfort.) Realistically speaking, heres what I expect will happen: One of the girls will get her license in the next year. Kim will sell the Honda to her for $500.Kim and I will pool money to buy her a new car. It wont be the Tesla Model 3 that she wants so badly. Itll be a Subaru Outback or a hybrid Toyota or Honda.I will continue to drive the Mini Cooper until it is well and truly dead. At that time or perhaps before Ill buy a beater pickup for use around the homestead. (Yes, we may end up having three cars at some point but only for a little while.) What about you? If you had to buy a new car, what would you buy? Why? What features are important to you? Are there certain makes or models that you prefer? Refuse to consider? And based on what Ive told you here, what kind of car would you recommend for me? https://www.getrichslowly.org/which-new-car/

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fundabidozi · 7 years

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♥ A Whole New World ♥ (Get to Know Me!)

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Note: (play & listen to the video while reading to enjoy this better!)

* . -»¦«-·´¯`*♥*´¯`·-»¦«-**-»¦«-·´¯`*♥*´¯`·-»¦«-* *-»¦«-·

Have you ever felt like being new to a place Hoping that people would welcome you with grace Yeah that’s what I’m feeling right now To fit in a whole new world, I wonder “HOW”

♡

Tumblr, what’s this all about? Is this where I write it all out? Is the main purpose to entertain or educate? I don’t know , but I’ll try to evaluate

♡

Blog, please be good to me Lead me to where I should be On my own i will learn and see If a world like you could set me free.

¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)

¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *

(¸.·JOURNEY STARTS HERE*´¨)

¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *

(¸.·´*

•·.·´`· The Beginning .·•·.·´

*♥* Though I find writing somewhat “unsettling”, I will try to keep this in the best way that I can. Allow me to introduce myself. Hey everyone, my name is Mona Liza Frans B. Catral. And no , I’m not your Mona Lisa *insert laugh here*. By the way , you can call me “Moli” for short. I’m from Philippines ,17 years old and a Senior High Student from SPUP. Currently, I’m taking the Accountancy , Business and Management strand. I want to personally say that I’m new to blogging ,so I hope you would welcome me very well. I used to be an active forumer on a site and I’m not really sure if blogging has some similarities on that thing. Anyway, my goal is to make my blog something “worth reading that people would always come back and look for more”. I then hope some experts reading this might give me some advices. I really do hope that I could use this blog to express my ideas, vent out my feelings, learn a few things and probably meet some new friends. I hope so. Anyways, here’s some more facts about myself that could probably make you feel comfortable with me. (or maybe NOT :D) *♥*

۞ Anyways, I usually like making jokes around. It’s just so good in the feeling when you make someone happy. When you see someone laugh because of you, isn’t that just GREAT? Though sometimes I would go overboard and still jokes when it’s not time , and then my parents would rage at me :-( LOL! ۞

۞ Moving on, I can honestly say that I am a very sweet friend. I’d like to say this in the humblest way that I can. Since 2011, I’ve been playing this online game and just recently I met a new friend (a girl) that I’m talking to now everyday. I consider her as an older sister since she’s way older than me. Since I treasure her a lot, I keep sending her gifts and surprised her “big time” on her birthday.

And yeah as expected, she told me that I’m the best(est) friend she ever had and never ever in her life did someone did it for her. She even told me I made her feel very loved and asks me how could she top it on my birthday? I wanna laugh - but actually deep inside of me , I was touched....so much. So if you would be my friend, you’ll know that I would surprise you as well. I’m good at it. *winks*

Anyways, I do feel like I’m a boring person. But hey! Maybe, I could also be fun sometimes. (Probably!)

I used to love reading books. I don’t know now. Maybe because I don’t have much time? Or just because I’m lazy? Or got better priorities to do?

Btw, I’m not that kind of person who keeps up with the trendy international english musics. My taste really goes to those from my own country and some OST’s from the k-dramas I’ve watched.

Well, I’m also a person who used to be scared of taking challenges. Lately, I can feel myself being open to experience them though.

And yes, I’m contented with my life. I’ve got a perfect family, got a lot of friends and I can buy what I want (not those that are too expensive though). But of course, this life of mine wouldn’t be possible without God. So I do promise to do my best to love and serve others in the best way that I can because I know that serving them is serving God as well.

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OMG! Can’t believe I’ve wrote something that long. Anyways, here’s some questions this blog shouldn’t miss.

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1. Where do i see myself 10 years from now? Was my learning in SPUP vital to where i’m leading to?

Ten years from now, I can see myself working in a good accounting firm , doing some presentations and closing a nice deal to investors. Yes, SPUP taught me the value of friendship and prayer. It taught me to just have fun while learning . It clearly taught me that what matters most isn’t being on top and leaving others behind , but being on top and helping others make their way up to you. You don’t need to compete with anyone, but yourself. Fight until you make it, and you must do it with a prayer. For me, God is my greatest inspiration and through all these years, prayer is my best weapon that I’ll make sure to bring wherever I go.

2. Was ABM the best choice after all?

For me, yes it is. I can feel that I really “fit” on this strand. I can truly say I have never ever regret choosing it. Challenges will surely come but I’m 100% contented that I will surpass this path. Since my dream or career is being an Accountant, I believe this strand would provide me primary knowledge about it. What I love doing or my passions lies here. Trust me, I know I wouldn’t enter something that will surely waste my time.

3. What course will you take in college and why?

Accountancy. I want to follow the footsteps of my father and since I believe I could also pursue a good future on this path, I’ll do my very best. I also think that I work well with numbers. And if someday, that I’d like to put up a business of my own, it wouldn’t be much a big problem anymore. I also believe that Accounting touches my life in one way or another.

4. What topic would you like to learn more in Empowerment Technology Subject?

Honestly, anything may do. I believe that every topic would be fun and exciting. But one thing I probably wanna learn is how to do coding to put up a site of my own. In the future , I wanna create a virtual game like the one I’m playing and addicted into. (Yeah it’s the GIF up there ^)

My Teacher says :

“ ASK ME ANYTHING ”

I say: So far , how was this blog? :D ( At Sir, marami ka na po bang na-hack? HAHAHA Joke lang po. Peace :V Btw, may chance pa po bang mabawi ang account kapag na-hack na? :-( Kapag iniba na po yung email )

* Okay some of you might prob not get what’s inside that parenthesis. I just asked if there’s any chance for me to get back my hacked account in a game. *

Yeah, I would really want to learn the art of blogging. Being able to do this far gave me so much joy.

Most of you might wonder what’s with the name “Fundabidozi” ?

Let me explain to you

Ok so the origin of that name is from the word “Fandabidozi” which means great or very good. Since it’s taken, I thought of just using “Fundabidozi”- so that would mean I am a person that do good things in a fun way!

Ok I think i’m done for today! As for now, I think that’s all that I have to say. Till next time! *waves*

#blog1

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chelsorz07 · 7 years

Text

two in a row...must have been a rough week back in 2010

Old me/new me. I’m in a shitty mood so I have a feeling it’s mostly the same me.

Who sits next to you in english?

not in school. Haven’t been in school for over ten years so now I don’t even remember.

If someone liked you what would be the best way to let you know?

um, tell me? Just don’t.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

my dad. My cats because I have very little human contact.

Would you consider your parents to be strict?

not anymore. they don't care. My dad got way more chill over the years. My mother will never change, even though I’m almost 30.

Have you ever tackled someone to the ground?

probably. I really don’t think so.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters?

it is six. Nope. It’s 5 letters now.

What was the last thing you wore that was black?

bra. My current pants.

Do you say the F word a lot?

all the time. Like every other word.

What happened a year ago in this month?

fuck you. Idk probably a lot of me working and being alone.

What’s the last thing that went into your mouth?

mike's hard lemonade. Cigarette.

When was the last time you laughed really hard that you cried?

tonight. I don’t even remember.

Do you have a mirror in your room?

yup. No. There’s one in the cats’ bedroom though.

How about a tv?

yeah it's a piece. Yeah it’s the same POS I had seven years ago. And two years before that. Actually there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just tiny.

Do you have alcohol in your house?

quite a bit. Little bit of wine, even littler bit of whiskey, and a lot of beer. None of it will be consumed.

Did you like anyone last summer?

FUCK YOU. I mean I’m married so.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?

fuuuuuuuhuck you. Try eight and a half years.

If someone told you that you were a player, what would you say back?

i'm gonna become one. cuz i'm fucking sick of getting screwed over. I’d say that’s hilarious because I’ve only ever really been with one person.

How old will you be in 5 years?

26. 33.

What happened at 09:00 am today?

gave randa some breakfast. I was at work. And it’s after midnight so it was technically yesterday. But I have to work again this morning. Morning shifts can suck my crank.

Is any part of your body sore?

all of it since i started working out. My entire body hurts all the time. Psoriatic arthritis probs.

Last night you felt?

like shit again. go figure. Tired, depressed, annoyed, in pain, bored.

Are you taller than 5’5”?

yep. An inch.

Stayed single almost the whole year?

SHUT THE FUCK UP. Haven’t been single since the last time I took this survey.

Told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else?

i don't even tell them where i'm going anymore. they don't care. I’m an adult.

What if the last person you texted told you they had feelings for you?

he has. he does. sucks to be him that i can't get over the last person i was with before him. I’d say what we’ve both been saying for years, that we should have just married each other. That way we could fuck who we want and not worry about screwing each other over because she’s my hetero life mate fo lyfe.

What are you drinking?

mike's hard lemonade. Nothing. I’m waiting for the Mountain Dew I put in the fridge to get cold.

Do you have clothes that are not yours?

i still have dave's sweatpants that he let me wear on new years last year....depressing as fuck. Dave and I share clothes all the time. And I have some t-shirts that I stole from my sister like fifteen years ago and she’s never getting them back.

Is sex the most important thing in a relationship?

no. Apparently it doesn’t even chart.

If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?

ugh. one person. no matter what anyone says. or what i say. I have. Twice.

Got in any fights this year, 2010?

not physical ones. verbal, pretty much every day. I don’t get in fights. It’s not worth it.

Have you ever liked someone who treated you super shitty?

every day of my fucking life. Every day of my fucking life.

What do you look like right now?

like a drunk ass bitch with issues. Like I need a nap and a shower.

Cried recently?

daily. Last time I cried was yesterday morning because I put on the wrong jeans and they didn’t fit and I didn’t have time so I had a mental breakdown and left late.

Do you like sushi?

no. I do not eat fish of any kind.

Do you find it weird that some people brush their teeth in the shower?

kind of. Yeah I’ve tried it. I don’t like the sensation of brushing my teeth with hot water.

Describe how you’re feeling today:

dr. unk. Like shit.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?

pretty sure it was chele. and she's like my best friend. and future roommate. It was Amanda. And like I said, hetero life mate.

Have you ever been in a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex?

yepppppppp. You know, I cannot for the life of me remember who besides my family I could’ve ever been in a hotel room with at that point in my life. But I have several times since then.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yeah. I guess.

Do you hate when people smoke around you?

no. No but I’m sure they hate it when I smoke around them.

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?

lip. I’ve always toyed with the idea but don’t think I’d actually do it.

What would your mom do if she read all your text messages?

it's really not her business, no matter what they say. so i don't care what she'd do. Tell me I’m nuts like she does when she reads my facebook posts.

Do you like cuddling?

yes. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m just like, don’t fucking touch me.

Do you dislike anyone right now?

i dislike everyone. That’s still pretty accurate.

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?

i don't sleep anymore. If it even is night when I try to sleep, several hours.

What's running through your mind right now?

i hate my life. What’s gonna happen to our house fund when Dave decides he just has to have a brand new Cadillac when he’s already put over 60 grand into the one he has now.

Would you ever live with anyone of your friends?

i plan to, very soon. I have lived with some of them.

What are you listening to?

nothing. Supernatural.

Who was your last text from?

chele i think. Text, Dave. But more recently I was facebook messaging Amanda.

Do you currently have a hickey? Where?

no. it's been over a month. I haven’t had a hickey since (apparently) over a month before the last time I took this survey.

Anything you would change about your life right now?

EVERYTHING. Where I live.

What color are your eyes?

hazel. I mean yeah but they’re more green.

Are you wearing any jewelry?

my lion silly band. if that counts. hope he's wearing his too. Wedding ring, engagement ring, antique ring on the other hand, and Dave’s wedding ring on a necklace because he’s not allowed to wear it at work.

How often do you give out second chances?

to one person and one person only. Anymore? I don’t.

A random person you don't know says they like you, what do you say?

don't care. Still don’t care.

Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips?

not really. kinda hard to date from 700 miles away. We’re married.

Have you ever kissed more than one person in the same night?

nope. Actually yeah lol...one time we were all shitty on Four Loko and Teej tried to make out with me (he’s gay but kisses everyone when he’s drunk) and I was with Dave the same night.

Do you always answer your phone?

hardly ever. I don’t answer my phone. Like if you can’t text me, you don’t need to talk to me. Don’t call.

Someone phones you at 3:00 AM. Who do you expect it to be?

don't care. If anyone is gonna call me at all, let alone at that hour, it better be an emergency. So I’d expect it to be my family. Even though I hope that never happens.

Were you dating anyone this time of year last year?

i seriously hate you. I was married to someone this time of year last year.

Has anyone ever crawled through your window?

yep. Yes.

Do you tell your best friend everything?

aside from how much i'm falling apart, yeah. Hahahaha now I tell her that too.

If you were to die today would your life be complete?

no. No but my life will never be complete so.

Can you honestly say you loved your last ex?

no. but that relationship lasted all of five days. the one before that, yes. absolutely. and i still do. and always will. I did and I do. Other than Amanda, he’s my best friend in this world. I just don’t have the same feelings for him that he has for me.

Are you a jealous person?

no. Yeah.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

yeah. Kinda like all the time. I mostly agree. That’s the only thing about my appearance that I actually like.

When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?

just a few minutes ago. Couple days ago.

Have you ever broken someones heart?

yeah right. nobody cares enough about me to be heartbroken. Supposedly.

Without saying names, what's one thing about the last person you kissed?

he SUCKS at foreplay. He’s having a midlife crisis and worrying about him and our relationship is stressing me the fuck out and making my anxiety and depression worse.

Congratulations ! You just had a daughter. What's her name?

HELL no. I’m leaning towards Jenna.

Are you going to see Alice in Wonderland?

my former answer stands. I don’t do Disney.

Do you think people talk about you?

i know they do. don't really give a shit. Yeah. Still don’t care.

Hows 2010 been for you?

worst year of my life. especially the last four months. and three days. 2010 was bad but 2017 pretty much fucking sucks too.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?

yeah. A couple.

Honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you?

stfu. I mean not a lot has happened in the past month.

This past October, what was your love life like?

oh my god. kill me now. Same as it is now.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?

NOW. Now.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

i'm completely empty. Way worse.

Did you kiss, hug, or hold hands with anyone today?

no. I am alone.

Are you a forgiving person?

unfortunately. Not so much these days.

Is your life drama filled enough to be in a reality show?

i try to avoid it but somehow the people around me seem to start it constantly. No but I should have my own show anyway because I’m hilarious.

Have you ever just laid outside and looked at the stars?

yeah. Yeah but it’s been a really long time.

Is there someone that you're attracted to?

sigh. My husband.

Who was the first person to text you this morning?

i have no idea. erica i think. Amanda.

Would you prefer skittles or starbursts?

starbursts cuz they last longer. Starburst.

Did you do something mean to someone today?

i'm mean every day. I doubt it. Fake retail me is a peach.

Is any part of you happy at all?

not even remotely. Not really.

What do you mainly want right now, that would just make your week?

for david lipps to realize that canadian midgets with illegitimate children who don't actually love him and like to play with his mind aren't worth giving up the girl who would die for him at a moment's notice and would give anything to have him back. To find a house and move back home like immediately if not sooner.

Would it be hard seeing someone kiss the person you like?

UGH. I’d kill them because he’s mine.

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

i'm used to it. no one tells the truth anymore. It shouldn’t surprise me but somehow I still get blindsided.

When will your next kiss take place?

never. Probably October 19 when Dave gets home.

Do hugs help when you're sad?

they make things worse. I stand by this. Because then I’m like if you’re being this nice to me right now why can’t you be this nice to me all the time, even though I’m a piece of shit and don’t deserve it. So then I break down even harder and embarrass myself.

Any nicknames?

not anymore. my former so-called friends called me titties. Chelsorz. But I hardly ever see the person who calls me that.

I bet you kissed someone today, right?

randa. I really didn’t.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?

i didn't sleep at all. That’s an every day thing.

Have you kissed someone in the past week?

randa. Yes.

How many drugs are in your system?

alcohol. Nicotine.

Would you say your an understanding person?

no. and i hate your lack of grammar knowledge. God that still bugs me. And no, I’m not.