#This cannot be

[crowbrained]

MUTUAL DEACTIVATED???????????

[beelzebubgaylord]

The fact that both of the Lord of the Flies movies are free on YouTube is ITSELF a tragedy

[xskyll]

Either I'm in that learning dip where my eye for art is improving faster than my actual art, making me realize my stuff looks like shit as I'm making it, ooooor...

I forgot how to draw Todoroki Shouto.

[riyu-the-visual-kei-junkie]

I think I just had a sexual awakening, which was last night but my brain needed some time to let it sink in so I am only being unbearably horny tonight.

Am I still ace? How dare these butches make me question my sexuality. I'VE BEEN ACE FOR ALMOST A DECADE NOW.

Also wow, what they write in fanfiction is true! You do feel heat in your gut! A real ass heat churning down there in your stomach! Who knew! NOT ME OBVIOUSLY BEFORE TONIGJT.

[sportsallover]

Romain Ntamack is unable to play the rugby World Cup due to injury, and I’m supposed to still care about this? Please cancel the World Cup, move it to whenever he’ll be better. We can’t have the rugby World Cup in freaking France without Romain Ntamack.

[crabussy]

yeah thats right. Pizza Rolls

you're scaring me I'm so so scared I'm so scared I'm scared? scary??

[zukoromantic]

Anyone know where to practice/study catalan? Apps, books, anything

[uhzuku]

i will not fall back into my negan era i will not fall back into my negan era i will not fall back into my negan era i will not fall back into my negan era i will not fall back into my negan era—

[charlesartthings]

It has NOT been eight years since 2017

so at the bar in which I work, there’s an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with ‘doorman’, which has led to me befriending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan. 

now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the absolute love of my life. I don’t care that he’s a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they’re simply referred to as ‘a character’? that’s Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let’s describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scandinavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.

that’s Doorman Dan. 

since meeting him last year, I’ve discovered:

he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said ‘shit happens’ on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM

he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was completely unaware they had broken up until he wished her a happy Christmas and she responded with ‘what the fuck Dan’

accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours

he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off

he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for ‘mystery adventures’, one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops

he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: “I’ll know when I meet him.”

he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him

his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, truth be told.”

when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn’t want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they’d like a snack

he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman’s Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he’s patrolling the bar

I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him

[princehendir]

Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will

[wormspoodle]

idk has someone done this yet

[evilgoodguys]

he’d forgotten how much he missed that smile.

[fagtainsparklez]

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

[riyu-the-visual-kei-junkie]

Irl has been interfering with my online life slot recently. I barely have enough time to chat with fandom friends nowadays

[selkiesparrow]

Zoozve, my beloved