#This has been sitting in my WIPs for like 7 months now oh my God I'm so happy to finish it

[edoro]

1 & 7! :3

do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

oh i definitely daydream a lot. it's an integral part of my process. anything i actually sit down to write has already been through several drafts and rounds of refinement as a daydream or subject of discussion with friend(s) before i start outlining it, because that's how i go from "vague concept or idea" to "actually writable scenario."

7) post a snippet from a wip

you probably want me to post some Huntlow 3, but joke's on you, here's a nice section from the little bit of redneck wizardcore au i swear i'm going to finish someday.

Sitting in the middle of the workshop, up on blocks, was a riding mower. Hunter wandered over and ran his hand along the curve of its hood, looking fond. “So this is the big project we’re working on right now. We got it off craigslist for cheap and Uncle’s teaching me how to rebuild the engine and make it go faster.” “That’s really cool.” Luz followed behind him, gazing around in open awe, not quite daring to touch anything. Some of it looked like she might lose a finger if she did it wrong. The whole place smelled sort of like the auto shop where her mom got her oil changed. “What do you want it to go faster for?” Hunter scuffed at the floor with the toe of one shoe, looking almost bashful. “There’s this, uh, county lawnmower race every July, and you have to be sixteen to enter, so…” “There’s a county lawnmower race?” The image those words conjured into Luz’s mind was nothing short of miraculous. “Oh my god, you have to take me with you to that.” “I mean… sure, if your mom’s okay with it.” “How long do I have to convince her?” That was exactly the sort of thing her mom wanted her to be doing, right? Expanding her horizons, pushing her comfort zone, making friends? Redneck lawnmower racing was nothing like writing fanfiction or reading doorstopper fantasy novels.  “Uh, it’s at the end of the month, so, a couple weeks?” Luz clicked her tongue and shot him a cool double finger pistols. “It’s a date.” The silence after that was deafening. They both stared at each other, Luz’s cheeks hot, Hunter’s whole face red - even his ears, too - until eventually he coughed and turned away, reaching for another mysterious metal item almost at random. "This is, uh… what is this? Oh." He straightened up and held it out, offering Luz a better look. "This is a really old bread slicer. Uncle likes to get messed up old stuff and restore it and put it back together. “Oh, cool!” Luz said way too loudly. Her voice echoed in the enclosed space. “So is he, like, an engineer or something?” “Not professionally or anything. It’s just a hobby. He likes making stuff and fixing up old stuff. You can go ahead and look around, just don’t turn anything on or hit any switches, and if you pick something up, put it back where it goes.” Thus unshackled, Luz did her best to wander around and touch everything.

[diimaria]

Screenshot Redraw of Cpl Dunn my beloved 🥺💕❤️

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Fic Writer Interview

thanks @allthebooksandcrannies for tagging me!!

How many works do you have on AO3: 160!! yes i have a problem

Total AO3 word count: 844,446 oh god

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?: 5 i think? dc comics, young justice, voltron, the teen titans cartoon once, and that one tiny fic i did for the lunar chronicles which is the only time i ever strayed from my fic-writing comfort zone lmao

Top 5 Fics (by number of kudos): the #1 fic is "obedience" with 3395 kudos, #2 is "don't touch me," #3 is "no pain, all gain," #4 is "hi bi, i'm dad," and #5 is "the same mistake twice" with 1353 kudos

Do I respond to comments, why or why not: i tried to respond to all of my comments at one point, but it was a lot of work to keep up and eventually i just gave up after a month of that. nowadays i try to respond to the longer comments that people put actual effort into or if they have a question or something

Do I write crossovers (and if so, what is the craziest?): nope nope nope. it's just not my thing (unless you count the ones where i give characters plots or traits from other forms of media like my "tim sees ghosts" au but that's about as crossover-y as it gets) (also julie and i come up with crossover ideas all the time but for my real, public writing, it's a hard no)

Have I ever received hate on a fic?: oh gosh so so SO many times. it's never fun

Do you write smut?: nah, it's not my thing. i've thought about it sure, just to branch out my writing style and to see if i'd be any good at it, but it doesn't match my audience so it's a no for now

Have you ever had i fic stolen: i hope not? i actually don't know what that means but it doesn't sound fun

Have you ever had a fic translated: yep! a couple have been translated into different languages and a few awesome people have done podfics for my stuff :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before: sort of? sometimes julie or i will write stuff together, but it's usually in a way where one of us will write a fic based on headcanons we've come up with together and then we'll credit the other when it's posted. there have been a few times when we've written actual fics together in the same document and everything, but i tend to step back and let julie do most of the work because i'm inherently bad at working with others and my instinct when partnered with other people is to shut down and let them take over everything 🤷‍♀️

What’s your all-time favorite ship: i don't know actually?? i'm sure i have one, but as far as writing goes, i tend to mostly lean on ships like jayroy, timsteph, spitfire, and birdflash occasionally. there are plenty of other ships that i care about way more than those four, but most of them i just haven't written for yet so yeah. for someone who's obsessed with love and romance, i'm pretty lukewarm on most ships

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will: oh gosh. oh man. foster dad bruce au, my beloved. i love that fic with all my heart but like icarus, i forgot my sunglasses and rocketed straight into the ball of burning gas. this fic gives the phrase "bit off more than you can chew" a physical form. the fourth chapter has been sitting in its document half-written for months now and i know i vowed to never ever ever ever EVER post a fic and never finish it because i always hate when people quit on fics i like,,,,, there's a 50% chance that i will get back to that fic. it's just too long. i've only finished 3 out of 7 chapters and already it's at almost 59,000 words, i'm TIRED okay i'm sorry guys maybe one day i'll reclaim my braincells and finish that fucking thing

What are your writing strengths: i'm good with the mechanics and stuff, like the way my sentences are arranged and thought-out, but this is also my biggest weakness, which sucks. it's like in monsters university when mike spends so much time studying the technical aspect of scaring but he can't do it naturally like the other monsters can? yeah. i'm so focused on the mechanics of my writing that it's hard for me to let loose and actually let myself think and go loose with it. the only times i can really WRITE without one hand tied behind my back is when i'm overly tired or caffeinated. i have a feeling i'll be one of those writers who can't write anything of value without a bottle of wine lmao

What are your writing weaknesses: see above

What’s your thoughts on dialogue being written in other languages in fics: i don't know what this means?? is this asking whether i approve of dialogue being written in other languages?? or is it asking how i want it formatted?? what does this mean?? sometimes a story requires dialogue in another language, idk what to tell you man

First fandom you wrote for: oh god. don't make me think about my fanfiction.net days. i'm not strong enough (it was batfamily btw because what else do i write)

What’s your favorite fanfic you’ve written: my young justice gsa au <3 my pride and joy <3 that au was when i truly peaked as a human and it's only downhill from here <3

tagging uhhhhhh @damthosefandoms @haljordangreenjedi @catboykonel and @magebirdi because i have very few friends

[c-is-for-circinate]

Absolutely fucking wild to me to contemplate the number of fandoms I have cycled through in the past year+ of quarantine, often while leaving no indication of them on this blog whatsoever. Like, we're talking all in, full throttle, browsing twenty pages deep on an AO3 bookmarks-sorted fic search in a month fandom hyperfixation.

March of 2020 I was here for Critical Role, with a sideline in having Feelings About Persona Games, which is sort of a constant low-grade thing I do all the time, and that was fine. Then quarantine hit, and since then it has been an absolutely inexplicable roulette wheel with zero regard for any criteria that even I could fathom. I spent two months drowning in Star Wars in spite of having never in my life cared about the Clone Wars cartoons or associated extended universe, ever. I now know and care deeply about Final Fantasy 7, a game I have still never played. I dived back into Fullmetal Alchemist and Dragon Age, which I have not spent more than a day at a time thinking about in at least two years. I finally gave in and watched all of Yuri on Ice, which I avoided at all costs when it was actually airing, and then obsessed for a month. I apparently decided it was worth my time last summer to dive into Danny Phantom, a show I never once watched even when I was within a decade of its target age range. And that's not even the full list. What the fuck.

I don't regret, exactly, that this is where all of my apparently very intense "oh fuck I don't have anything to do and it's quarantine" energy went, but man I wish it were even remotely predictable. Or a phase ever lasted long enough for me to do something with the equally long and intense AUs that constantly bubble up every time I think too long about any one thing, and then drift away on the frittering wind.

My inbox is full of notifications of updates to subscribed stories in fandoms I haven't cared about in six months. Some of them are two hundred chapters long. And I originally read up to the WIP point in less than a weekend, except I cannot even begin to imagine what's going on in them any more. And I still haven't made anyone on this blog sit through the Persona 5 polythieves-in-Paris story, or the brand new Dragon Age time-travel-fix-it fic(s), or my many thoughts and feelings that I know I had but no longer remember about Russian figure skaters, or even written any of the lengthy lore posts about my own D&D game that I'm running that I promised everyone over a year ago.

But! I have mostly finished Hades! And I will try really hard to write more about it soon! If I don't accidentally get sucker-punched by (evidence suggests) literally any other fictional property in the world so long as I probably haven't ever seen it before.

(Please god let Exandria Unlimited be absorbing and have a super-active fandom. Please. I want to get off this ride and settle back down to earth where I get to keep a reasonable amount of only slightly heightened fixation on just one or two things for more than six weeks. I have a real job again, surely that will help distract me. Surely. Right?)

[hazzabeeforlou]

Fic Writer Questions

Well. It’s been a long time since I answered any tags, hasn’t it? Work was short people, so I came in since I’ve now got an arm brace on from recording too much. (Fuck certain pianist composers. Seriously. Fuck them.) ANYWHO. Here I sit filling in for said person whose job is VERY INFREQUENT so I’m getting around to all my computer work I’ve postponed for…um… six months? Thank you @crinkle-eyed-boo @alienfuckeronmain @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @evilovesyou for the tag! 

1) How many works do you have on ao3?

17… Oh my god I didn’t realize that 

2) What’s your total ao3 word count? 

301,912

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Well, on ao3, only 1D. But I LOVE Star Wars (OLD UNIVERSE THANKS) fic and weirdly enough The Fugative fic? I’ll admit to not reading much else… 

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

PITS, Flawless, Until You Remember, Never Stare (REALLY GUYS. REALLY. THE PWP) and Reindeer Games 

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 

Um? You know what it’s probably Flawless. BUT? Arguments could be made for any of the middle ones in the Always You series or The Garden series 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 

I’m a sucker for happy endings, they’re all happy, the MOST happy one? Probably PITS because it had the potential to be the most sad. 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? 

Not really. I love AU’s of established universes… does doing a Bible fic count as a crossover? 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind? 

Well, yes. Um? Hopefully the good kind. Not lots of graphic namings of the dangly bits. Because I’d call them dangly bits and you’d all hate me :) Like if I wrote “the crease of his hole stretched til the taught pink tissue resembled a swollen balloon as X eased his engorged man-member through the opening” I feel like you’d all go to greener pastures and you’d be RIGHT

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

I was just talking about this in the GC today, yeah I do. I know it stresses a lot of people out to respond to comments but a LOT of comments I get are on PITS or Flawless and are from people who really relate to those fics and are sharing parts of their own life story with me, so I feel really lucky to receive that kind of trust from them, and I like having mutually healing conversations. 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Actually nope. Very lucky. 

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Nope! 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yes! I’ve lost count. Every so often people will message me and I’m always so impressed they can actually speak more than one language that I’m like YEAH SURE! 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Nope 

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? 

Well Larry OBVIOUSLY *Louis voice* but I also like Ani/Obi Frodo/Sam 

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 

Oh god. My Bonanza AU. Look, it’s funny, it’s fully story boarded, it even has a KILLER ending but I just. Can’t. Bring myself to. I’d give it someone if they wanted to work off what I have! 

16) What are your writing strengths? 

I’ve been told I evoke lots of feelings, and I like that 

17) What are your writing weaknesses? 

I really hate transitions. Like, chapter breaks are a girl’s best friend 

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Not unless it was a short word or something

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars, way back in my high school years, and it will thankfully remain unpublished drivel FOREVER 

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? 

I think The Garden series is right up there, but again, PITS is my baby 

Alright I’m tagging @twopoppies @disgruntledkittenface @indiaalphawhiskey @metal-eye @justalarryblog and literally anyone else who hasn’t done this! 

[prolix-yuy]

Writer Q&A

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)?

As of right now, 9. I'm a big editor of my work, so I like to pace publishing so that I have plenty of time to read (and re-read) and make edits before sending it into the ether.

2) How many WIPS do you have right now?

1 that's almost done, plus about 6ish ideas I'm waiting to sit down with.

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both?

I haven't so far because I didn't think anyone would have one, but it's possible I'll open requests up for Sex Worker!Frankie which could be very fun. And if people sent in other requests I'd definitely take a look!

As for original stuff it's been a while, but I used to write a lot of short stories and novella-length stuff, a little bit of poetry too. Gothic fiction and Lovecraftian-style stories were always my favorites.

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have?

None right now, but that could change!

5) How many fandoms do you write for?

Right now on Tumblr just the PPCU, but there are some other fandoms that I've toyed with.

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for?

LOTR was a big one, and some assorted animes not worth mentioning.

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other?

Reader inserts. I'll read ships a ton, but I enjoy writing inserts more.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for?

If anyone has even heard of this, my first fandom was Gundam Wing and I wrote SO MUCH for those boys.

9) Do you read fics as well as write them?

Hell yeah. Reading fics on Tumblr was 100% why I decided to start writing again.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Self-indulgent smut with feelings? I think that's what I'd call it.

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)?

To read: friends to lovers, somnophilia, sex pollen, first times

To write: sex THEN feelings, competency kink, slow burn, mutual pining

12) What do you do to get motivated to write?

Reading other people's stories is a great motivator, or taking a look through what I've done before to spark some inspo.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write?

Enemies to lovers is a great genre, but I don't feel skilled at portraying that dynamic.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested?

The Witcher just solidified that I'm hooked on lorge men who take care of children, so maybe there's something there if I want to take a walk around the block. But the PPCU has a lot of content to work with, so I'm pretty faithful to that right now.

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Oh god, on Tumblr maybe like 3-4 months? But in life, probably about 20 years. I think I wrote my first fic when I was 10 or 11.

16) Did you read fanfiction before you started writing?

Oh totally, loads on AO3 and ff.net before that.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well?

AO3 as well!

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”?

Drabble is like under 1k, one-shot is something around 5-10k with a finite ending, and I would argue "fics" encompasses one-shots too, but rolls up anything long form under that umbrella.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other?

I've been going pretty hard on the multi-chapter story, but I also love a good one-shot.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why?

Recently no, but I definitely have stories I abandoned because canon made me not want to write it anymore. Or the story lost its shininess. But nothing as of late.

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr?

This is a peeve more for myself, and probably indicative of perfectionism, but I hate it when my navs don't link correctly or I realize it's hard for someone to find/organize my content. And when I buck up formatting.

22) Do you write at a particular time of day?

Between 10pm-1am and occasionally during lunch/right at the end of the work day if I'm feeling inspired.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc. to write or do you need silence?

Nope, I get too distracted. I'll sometimes listen to musical inspo before or when I'm contemplating the story, but not while writing.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing?

No, I'm a stream-of-consciousness kind of gal. I start writing and get everything down, then go back and revise/move around/edit until I'm happy with the overall story.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day?

I hold onto my fics like they're vintage wine and will age with time. Purely because I like to put out a steady stream of content and if I have a bunched banked up I can be writing one thing while posting another.

I do like posting on Tuesdays, because no one likes Tuesdays and it's something fun to look forward to, and Fridays, because it's like a kickoff into the weekend.

No tags, do this if you want to!!!!

[seekingseven]

16 17 and 20 please. if you'd like

First of all, gosh am I sorry for getting to this so late! I remember that you answered my ask just a few hours after I submitted it, and here I am answering yours nearly a month late. So sorry D: I'll be more prompt in the future!

As for the questions...

16. Do you have a method for getting characters to sound/feel in character?

I feel a little unqualified to answer this question, to be honest. Characterization is one of the aspects of my writing I think has a lot of room for improvement! Right now my method of trying to keep a character in character is by going back to canon; usually, it's the canon versions of characters that I'm aiming to emulate, and by using source material as a reference, I find it easier to troop along! Sometimes I write short character analyses before writing a character I'm less familiar with; it helps me get in their head, and I feel that I can write characters better if I understand their MO

17. Do you have any wips that you can tell us about? What are you most excited for in your wip?

My two WIPs at the moment are "The Most Sincere Kind of Lie" and "God Only Knows" -- for TMSKoL, I legitimately cannot overstate how excited I am for Chapters 22 and 23. Chapter 22 is going to be the culmination of every bad thing that has been building up since chapter 1, and Chapter 23 is going to be written from a very special perspective. It's also going to be pretty freaking long, so I gotta notch up my belt and get working on it! I really, really want to finish Chapters 22, 23, and 24 before the end of this year. We'll see how it goes!

For "God Only Knows," I'm considering extending the chapter count. There's a series of events that I've been planning to touch on from the beginning of the story, and after sitting down to outline the rest of the story, I realized that leaving that entire thread for only Chapters 7 and 8 might minimize its impact. I'll have to sit on it a little more...we'll see!

20. What's your favorite thing about writing fanfic? What about writing in general?

I've mentioned this in my responses to this question before, but gosh. There's nothing like the community around fanfic. Being able to create something that others will enjoy while playing around with your favorite characters as if they're Barbie dolls...what could be more fun?

As for writing in general, I love going places. I'm a sucker for ambiance and a strong sense of place, and being able to sit down and let my mind sort of unspool and wander around places that may or may not exist is so much fun! Granted, the places I spend most of this mental vacay are old convenience stores and quiet roads, so it's not like I'm hanging out at Hogwarts or the Assyrian Empire or something, but I still think it's lots of fun!

Thank you so much for the lovely ask, Gunny! Sending you lots of love. Oh, and tell Master Chief I say happy birthday!

[hum-my-name]

Thank you so much for tagging me @1833outboy!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53!!! That's crazy!!!

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

1,058,207 (heavens help me)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Technically only 3, I think (Fall Out Boy, Merlin and Witcher) but there are so many subtags within those fandoms that I've used to AO3 likes to pretend I have 8 fandoms listed haha

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Matter of Trust, Only A Dream of the Grass Blowing, My Witcher; My Bard, Every Moon in the Sky (Every Promise and Lie), and Let's Hide Under the Covers

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to be so good at responding to comments the day after I got them but I've gotten so bad at it now. I feel absolutely horrible. Sometimes time will pass and then I'll feel awkward replying to something from weeks or months ago. But I'm trying to do better!! Just know that I really appreciate every single comment and they all make my day so much better.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

"I don't often write unhappy endings," I said to myself as I pull up my ao3 page. "Surely, there won't be too many to go through!"

Uh..... Apparently, I've just forgotten about a whole handful of fics I apparently wrote at some point.

Anyway, I'll go with Stay Perfect. It's got Major Character Death and Unrequited Love tagged on it, what the fuck was I on that day.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really. I love the idea of characters interacting in other worlds or stories, but I don't trust myself to handle that grand of an idea, haha

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I've been really lucky in that regard!! I'm still cautiously waiting in fear for that to happen-- especially since I've had friends in the same fandoms who've dealt with such stuff-- but I suppose I've been safe in my little corner of the fanfic world for now. Knock on wood and fingers crossed and all that, haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

My first ever fic on ao3 was a smut fic because I loved the idea and was excited about the plot-- and then immediately hated writing it because I felt awkward about writing the smut. I feel like it's a thing that could be so easily messed up in a way that's so much more disastrous than other genres or tropes, so I stayed away from it for a while. But~ I've started to dip back into it here and there! I recently wrote a short piece for the witcher and already have a few more planned!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I'm aware of! (thank goodness!)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be so cool!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

There's one I started with a friend on here a bit ago but life happened to both of us so it's a bit on hold for now

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose, oh god. Like... I have given so much of my life and soul to Peterick but then other fandoms jumped in to punch me in the face and now I'm looking at all my different ships and it's stressing me out

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*LAUGHS*

I don't actually think I'll give an answer for this because I want to hold onto the hope that these fics will be finished someday, somehow

15. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I'm pretty creative with my plots. I hope other people find them as fun as I do!

I'm also really proud of the level of thought that I put into the writing itself, like symbolism or irony. Those elements come pretty naturally to me, I think, so I'd consider those strengths!

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Any sort of high emotion or impact scene lol. So, things like smut or heavy action scenes-- both of those stress me out because I can see them so clearly in my head but the second I try to write them, it's gone. Why can't my characters just sit around and talk/ponder forever? Why do they actually have to do things?

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's great when other people do it since it can add to the world building and feel of the fic! Personally, though, I know I'm not fluent enough to add that kind of stuff in. I'd end up relying on translating sites and that just feels like a disservice to readers who would actually know the language. Maybe if I had someone that I knew could help me, I'd feel more confident in doing that!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Don't fucking make me admit I wrote Hetalia fic in high school on ff.net, don't make me do it

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It changes with every long fic I write, haha! I think, right now, it's We Are Like The Earth and Sky for one of the Geraskier Big Bangs. It has some of my favorite tropes, and I think it was one of the more well written fics I've posted.

Tagging whoever wants to do this because I don't know who's already done it!!

[nevervalentines]

If u did the dare me kind it will make me very happy, i love your writing and i love them sooo

a teeny tiny snippet of a dare me wip, half gallon of milk and all 

Addy sees her again for the first time in six years in the aisle of the grocery store.

Beth is cradling a half-gallon jug of milk under one arm, hip propping open a glass freezer door.

This is a fantasy Addy has toyed with for so long. She has played her thoughts over its potential again and again until it felt nearly like a memory. For the vivid colors of everything she had imagined, the moment it actually happens is ghostly, translucent. She can feel the instant passing even as it unspools out in front of her.  

It’s a twilight zone. Addy’s carefully spun fictions splitting and streaming around the reality.

They don’t meet again on the mats, or in the dim lighting of a party, or rain soaked on her front stoop, but here – at the lip of aisle 7, Beth juggling a plastic jug while she considers endless stacks of Styrofoam egg cartons.

Beth still doesn’t see her. Her lips are moving, like she’s reading the packaging to herself, silently. She looks older. Her cheeks fuller, her hair lighter, the way it gets when she’s spent a whole summer in the sun.

Baggy sweatpants sit low on her hips, her crewneck pullover a dreamy blue. She isn’t wearing makeup and it feels like a novelty to see her here, like this, face bare. Beautiful. Addy can see the creases at the corner of her smile. If she didn’t know better, she would mistake them for laugh lines.

Addy is frozen beside a wire rack of chips. Tinkling muzak pipes through the speakers, filtering down through watery, fluorescent lighting.

Beth deliberates. Decides. Withdraws a dozen eggs in a cardboard carton. As she moves, her sleeve slips up her arm, revealing an expanse of her pale, narrow wrist.

At the sight of it, of her skin, an intimate battleground she used to know better than anything, Addy takes a reflexive step back. The beginning of a retreat. Her leg jars the shelving, just barely, but the hollow metallic echo is enough to draw Beth’s attention.

Beth looks up, eyes fixing on Addy. There is a beat of silence. Addy can tell the exact moment Beth sees her, really sees her. Her face flickers through a sickening slideshow, like a stream of light ghosting from the mouth of a projector.

First, surprise. Her fairytale lips fall into a perfect ‘o.’ Her knuckles whiten around the handle of the milk jug.

Next, hurt. Just a breath of it, enough that if Addy hadn’t spent years studying this landscape, she would miss it.

Then, worst of all, interest. Keen. Familiar.

Beth smiles.

She takes a step forward. The freezer door swings shut.

“Addy Hanlon. Of all the gin joints –” She shifts the weight of the milk to her hip, the eggs tucked under one arm. One hand stretches out. Addy realizes, belatedly, it’s meant for her to take.

“Beth,” Addy says. Then. “What are you doing here?”

Beth withdraws her hand, and her mouth twists. “Same as you, I would assume.” She shrugs. “Late night grocery run. Is that a problem?”

Addy is embarrassed to find herself already stumbling. Six years. A lifetime for a 23-year-old. And in thirty seconds, Beth Cassidy already has her on her back foot.

She feels at once completely and utterly 17. She can’t remember what to do with her hands.

“No, of course not. I was just –” she trails off, searching, “Surprised.”  

“Same small town,” Beth says. She shrugs. “We always used to come here. Only a matter of time, I guess.”

Addy almost loses the train of conversation, too busy trying to re-remember the shape of Beth’s collarbones. A hint of them peaks above the scoop of her collar.

Flatly, she says, “I guess.” Too busy with: the ridge of her knuckles, the arch of her brow, her weight shifting from foot to foot, like the milk is getting heavy.

“It’s been—” Addy starts.

Beth cuts her off. “Yeah.”

The sight of Beth haloed by linoleum and fluorescence smash-cuts Addy back to high school. Beth driving them to the townie grocery store on the edge town, jeep tires spraying gravel in the parking lot, a little stoned. They would raid the aisles for Little Debbie snacks and pork rinds to spit back up later. Would buy Smirnoff Ice at the register with the clerk who never carded if they flashed cleavage and big smiles.

Beth, then, tilting her head at Addy at the mouth of the dairy aisle, smiling her just-for-Addy-smile.

Beth, now, waving a hand in front of her face.  

“Hanlon? Anybody home?”

Addy jars back to present, finds her palms clammy. “Sorry?”

A little amused now, eggs swapped to the other hand. “I just asked if you were back all summer?”

“Just for July,” Addy says. “Trying to keep Faith happy.” She looks around, like she’s seeing the store for the first time. “It’s my first time home in months.”

It feels so pedestrian to talk like this. A casual catch-up conversation, like you would with anyone you fell out of touch with after high school. Something about it feels dirty, almost taboo.

“How about you?”

“Same,” Beth says. She turns now, starts to walk. Without thinking, Addy follows, falling into step a pace behind. “I have a month before my masters program starts up, then it’s back to school.”

Reflexively, Addy reaches out to take the half gallon jug of milk from Beth’s arms, just to relieve her of the weight. Beth’s eyes flash wide, but she says nothing. This close, Addy can smell a hint of her perfume. Like she didn’t wash yesterday’s floral blush from her pulse points, from the side of her neck.

They steer toward the register, already in step.

“Grad school. Wow. Congrats, Beth.”

Addy finds she means it. Beth flashes her a smile, a little shy, cheeks dimpling. “Thanks. I heard you weren’t doing too bad yourself.”

“Who said?” Addy has been careful not to ask after Beth, and only comes back to Sutton Grove when its necessary, too scared to peel back the scab of old wounds.

That sly Beth grin, eyes shifting. “I have my sources.”

Steps echo off the tile floor as they dodge through the aisles. Just past 10 p.m., the grocery is all but empty, humid night air crowding the floor-to-ceiling windows of the storefront, reflections warped and watery in the glass.

They play at small talk, the rhythm of it unreal in the ghost town of empty aisles.

Only the sign above register three is lit, the decal peeling off the plastic, yellow light flickering. A lone employee stands at the till, flicking through his phone, blue light throwing his cheekbones into sharp relief.

Beth rests the eggs on the conveyor belt and Addy crowds in behind her to set the milk next to it. Their hips bump. Beth smells exactly the same. It’s such a mind-fuck that the simple, incidental press of warm hip on warm hip is enough to send her reeling.

Addy is suddenly certain she is going to die in a fucking Save-A-Lot outlet on the edge of town.

White teeth digging into a full bottom lip, Beth looks up at her through her lashes. Addy burrows her hands deep in the pocket of her hoodie, nods toward the register.

“You gonna pay?”

A hum. Beth produces a wrinkled bill from the waistband of her sweatpants. A pale flash of skin, the divot of her navel. “Always in a hurry.”

When she turns to the lone employee, Addy thinks she catches her wink.  

Addy trails her to the parking lot, to an unfamiliar car. Beth pops the trunk, old-fashioned style, key-in-lock, and dumps the lone plastic bag into it.

With their mission completed, silence falls over them. They turn to one another under the pooled light of the lot’s sole floodlight. They shuffle their feet in the gravel. Beth seems so small like this. Her sleeve falls over her fingertips, and she pushes it back absently with one hand.

Addy looks hard at her forearm, stops herself from reaching out to touch.

She has a terrible idea and speaks before she can stop herself.

“So Riri is throwing a party. Kind of a reunion?” Addy’s voice tilts up into a question. They don’t need to mention that this used to be the kind of thing Beth would never need an invite to, let alone need to be told about it. “Nothing crazy, just drinking wine and talking about,” Addy flaps a hand, “the good old days.”

The cliché feels stale on her tongue and she immediately regrets it.

Beth looks at her evenly, silent.

Addy shrugs, fixes her gaze on the edge of the lot, where the shadows around the dumpster are deep, scrubby grass poking through asphalt.

“You could come, if you wanted.” She makes the mistake of looking back into Beth’s cold eyes. “It could be like old times.”

“Wine, huh?” Beth’s voice is pitched, low, grating into the air between them. “That’s a change from trying to shotgun a watermelon Four Loko in the 7/11 parking lot at 1 a.m.”

Addy laughs before she can stop herself, remembering the night. “I think that’s the closest I’ve ever come to dying,” she says. A lie. “I think I saw God that night.” Possibly true. She can remember the world turning topsy-turvy, street lights glinting like stars against a murky, smog filled sky.

“Oh yeah?” Beth is smiling now, too. “What did she look like?”

Addy crinkles her nose. “A little like you actually.”

Beth snakes out a hand – that pale, pale wrist flashing in the dark – and sneaks Addy’s phone out of her pocket. She adds a contact, lightning fast, extends the phone. Addy takes it, heart stuttering, fluttering.

“Text me when. I’ll be there.”

Beth climbs into her car without looking back. Pauses to fix her hair in the rearview mirror before she starts the ignition.

Addy watches Beth peel out of the lot, driving fast, rear lights flaring like the embers of a cigarette on an inhale.

She plunges her hand into her pocket for her keys and hears a rustle. Pulling out a paper, she looks down at her grocery list. She didn’t buy a goddamn thing.

[smallblueandloud]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 for the writing ask- I AM SO SORRY I COULDNT STOP!!! xoxo

aaaah these questions look SO GOOD thank you so much <3 <3 for this ask meme, which will be open all weekend!

1. tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

i pulled open all of my WIP google docs for this and my laptop started whirring ominously, lmao. this is going to be a Little Long but i love talking about my wips so who cares!! (under the cut because EXCERPTS)

guys and dolls but gay - very, very casual rewrite of guys and dolls if sky masterson was a woman. i’m loving how chill i’m being about this one because it’s so much fun to not have to worry how i’m going to write lyrics in a not-weird way and just focus on the story. this one’s first because it’s theoretically closest to being finished.

sky, laughing: “oh? people. all the people you turn down every day. well, i imagine there’s someone out there that’ll catch your eye.”

sarah, stiffening: “...yes, there will be.”

sky: “and what might this person be like?”

sarah: “he will not be a gambler, for one.”

sky does not miss the pointed pronoun. “i’m not interested in what he won’t be, i’m interested in what he will be.” she sits down on the desk, in a pointedly masculine pose, and sets her fedora next to her - at her most Hot Queer, basically. “how will you know when he gets to you?”

my fic for the aos rarepair fic exchange - i can’t give any plot or ship details, for obvious reasons, but it’s 1.3k and i’m having fun with it!

steven roadtrip of destiny - canon divergent fic set at the end of steven universe future where steven goes on a roadtrip instead of... canon. it deals with some heavy emotions and it’s also a character study so it’s tentatively shelved until i get around to rewatching suf. but i am projecting on steven like crazy and it’s really, really cathartic. it’s taught me a lot about myself too lmao.

He’s never been anonymous before. He kind of likes it. It means he can fold his arms on the table and put his head down without Pearl worrying about his posture, or someone asking him if something’s okay.

In the last few months, he’s grown to hate people asking him how he’s doing, or if he’s okay. He always ends up lying, because he doesn’t want to worry them, and he ends up feeling worse.

Probably because it’s more of him supporting other people without supporting himself.

He should have told someone how he was feeling. He should have reached out. Sadie could’ve helped him. Lars would’ve listened. Connie would have hugged him and then found him the appropriate mental health professional.

(God, Steven wants a hug. Also the appropriate mental health professional? Whoever that would be.)

untitled aos fic - i don’t want to give a lot of details because :eye emoji: and also i don’t know much about what the plot of this is going to be anyway, lmao. but here’s an excerpt:

daisy “that actor who doesn’t shut up about data harvesting” johnson (@daisyquake) tweeted: two weeks :eyes emoji:

Elena Rodriguez | Seven Cents S2 Streaming On Netflix Now! (@yoyorodriguez) retweeted and added: the problem with being friends with daisy is that you SHOULD have some insight into what her tweets mean but you still have no idea

Fitz (@justfitz) retweeted and added: Try being married to her

untitled star wars twins fic - because i am a total and massive nerd. i’m just kind of stuffing everything i have feels about from the post-anh era into this and planning on figuring it out later? i’m really loving talking about the culture of alderaan (and the culture of the survivors) and also i just love writing luke and leia’s relationship... so much......

(no excerpt for that one because i’ve basically posted all of it in various posts lmao)

aos ds9 au - i’ve posted a LOT about this already and i want to keep the plot a surprise but fsk is in this and married and half the cast is aliens, what else do you need in life.

“Good morning,” says Jemma, coming into the room with her hair wet and her uniform crooked. “Hello, darling.”

“Hi,” says Daisy, turning her face up for a kiss. Jemma obliges absently as she walks past, looking around the room.

“Has anyone seen my hair clip?”

“No,” say Fitz and Daisy in unison.

and of course, last but never least in my heart, chapter 3 of the magnum opus - writing this is on hold until my brain decides to stop hitting me over the head at every possible moment, but there’s like... 2k written so far? it’s. it’s going.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Coulson, and makes quick work of the right gauntlet. It’s only halfway through the left one that his fingers slow and he says, quietly, “Simmons designed these, didn’t she?”

She lets out a quick breath. “Yeah.”

He stays quiet for a few more seconds, finishing up the last of the straps, making sure they’re tight enough. Finally, he says, “She should be helping you with these.”

Daisy pulls her arms back and swallows down some words, or maybe a couple of feelings, or maybe a sob. “Yeah, well.”

2. tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

the last sentence of the magnum opus!!!!!!!!!!

no, lmao, i’m gonna try to be serious. i really, really want to write some librarians fic in the near future? also MORE OF THE SENSE8 AU. i’m DYING to write some stuff about that. especially sam’s cluster, for some reason? Let’s Make Him Suffer (Comedically)! one day i’m gonna finish that list of what cluster/situation each song is about and then it’ll be over for all of us!

3. what is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

i spent about eight months imagining a scene where riza hawkeye was really injured and mustang was holding her in his arms (basically the promised day scene but with more privacy) so does that count?

hmm, just for some other possibilities: glinda telling dorothy about elphaba, laura somehow seeing or speaking to natasha during catws, a good omens au of the good place (specifically the ”i don’t even like you!” / “you doooooooo” scene), kencyrath au of star wars (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, except setting up the first scene alone would take 7k, but i want to talk about leia and luke and their MESSED UP TRUST ISSUES in this au).

oh, also, something about star trek tng where jean-luc and beverly and jack were in love and then jack died and picard left. more specifically a scene set during the pilot episode where jean-luc very cordially offers beverly the option to transfer off the enterprise, that he wouldn’t dream of holding it against her, and beverly very cordially telling jean-luc to go fuck himself. i want to write 30k of that broken triad. i want it so bad. i dream of that fic. maybe one day when i find myself with a completely empty month or two, i’ll binge all of tng and Write Some Stuff.

4. share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

since you and i have tww in common, i’m gonna do a tww fic! otherwise i’d have to reread literally every fic i’ve ever written, lmao.

(this is long but i put this post under the cut so i have RIGHTS. also consider this a sneak peek for the j/d fic in the sense8 au?)

“It’s okay,” says Helen. She sits for a moment in silence, seeming thoughtful. “The Congressman and I are in the same cluster,” she says eventually. “I’d- I supposed that’s easier on the Secret Service?”

“Yes,” says Donna. “The-”

She stops herself from saying anything further. President Bartlet and the First Lady aren’t exactly quiet about who’s in their cluster, especially with senior staff, but that doesn’t mean she should go talking about it in an unsecured room in LA, of all places.

To cover for her blunder, she gives up something else: “The same with Josh. They got really lucky with him, actually. It’s just him and me, so they won’t have to worry about anyone threatening the Chief of Staff through the barista in the local Starbucks.”

Helen looks up from the Ohio numbers she’d drifted back to, a slow smile creeping up on her face. “Josh is in your cluster?”

“Uh-” says Donna, feeling like national security wasn’t worth whatever she’s just blundered into. Oops. “Josh- Josh is my cluster, ma’am.”

She catches her mistake the second it’s out of her mouth, but Helen doesn’t call her on it, more focused on other revelations. “No wonder you two look at each other the way you do!” she says, sounding delighted. Donna shuts her eyes, praying for this to go away. It’s not that she’s ashamed of Josh - it’s just so, so complicated, and other people never think about how difficult it was. Still is.

i’m just... i really liked the idea of donna fumbling and having to reveal this to cover up for what else she was going to say? i don’t know why i’m so charmed by this. i think it’s because it would be impossible in the show - you can’t show what someone was going to say on television, not without a lot of setup and very careful scripting. it’s just a really fun situation to write about and i’m really proud of this conversation in general.

also helen santos was a dream to write and i love her a lot. i kind of want to write one of the fics in the series about her and her cluster solely because like... look at her. she’s a delight in literally every scene. i love her.

5. what character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

daisy johnson!!! i love writing daisy johnson!!!! she is the most adhd character i’ve ever written and i literally just have to transcribe my own inner monologue and it works perfectly!!!!!

Swing shift: 1600 hours to 2400 hours. Daisy always ends up getting back to her quarters at like 0030 hours, when Jemma is asleep and Fitz is reading some kind of technical journal. Then she has to eat replicated pizza, alone, and freshly replicated pizza is actually pretty hot but it feels cold at that time of night, like, spiritually.

6. what character do you have the most fun writing?

...whoops i literally just answered that lmao. uh. i also really love writing sky masterson in the guys and dolls fic? she’s just weaponized hot queerness in a suit and i love her for it. she is intentionally trying to seduce this repressed lesbian and it’s really funny and also really hot of her and it’s so much fun to write.

also, i wrote chidi for the tgp fic and it was possibly the most fun i’ve ever had with a pov, although that was also because i was purposefully trying to mimic the tone of the show. i still think that line about michael and a grenade is, like, the funniest i have ever been in my life. but chidi’s panic was surprisingly easy to write? all of tgp’s characters have such STRONG voices, it makes writing fic ridiculously easy as long as you don’t get stuck on a plot for six months.

7. what do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? would others agree?

oof, this one is ALWAYS tricky. uh? uhh?? i’m going to ruin everything by saying this but i basically alternate between the same two sentence structures and i am really frustrated about it. i also alternate between the same two styles of endings and i always use the same beginning (set scene, main character pov, thoughts-as-exposition, back to scene).

BUT ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE i like to talk about emotions and relationships and character development!! i have my “queer subtext goggles” superglued to my face, lmao. i like to think about how characters must have felt about things in canon and how it must’ve influenced them. i like making people deal with the consequences of their actions, especially how it’s influenced they themself. i also just really, really like writing people who love each other, whether it’s romantic or platonic or anything in between. i just want them to be happy! i just want them to stick together! doesn’t matter what fandom, i stand by it.

[kate2kat]

5 fics

I was tagged by @earlgreytea68 (waves from way over here)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5(ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

When I first read this, I thought, oh well, I haven’t written 5 things this year, because I have been very consumed with 2 long fics, but then I checked, and it turns out I have posted 7 things this year.

1. I think my favourite -- for just how fizzy it made me feel, and because it was this gorgeous chain reaction sparked by a comment by @amysnotdeadyet  on a tumblr post and resulting in the gift of some lovely art -- is Red in which Eames gives Arthur a fabulous Alexander McQueen suit to wear to their wedding.

He had known from the moment he saw the name on the box, that it would be spectacular. But he hadn’t known exactly how.

He has some astonishing suits from Alexander McQueen, but this one is beyond his imagining.

Suitp*rn (TM) is my absolute favourite thing to write for Arthur and Eames, and I think clothes can tell a lot about a person, not just the one wearing them, and a lot about a relationship.

2. I posted two longish instalments in my Good Omens series: Now we both together I think has some lovely moments during the time when Crowley and Aziraphale have to try to imagine what their lives can be like now that they are out of their old jobs, and also have to rethink (Crowley especially) their understanding of their places in the grand scheme of things. 

And of course, the taking off of many layers of clothes features too (it’s a pretty bulletproof thing of mine):

Crowley pushes Aziraphale — gently, firmly, relentlessly — back into the mound of them and leans down over him and kisses him intently. And then he straightens up and undoes Aziraphale’s many buttons: his waistcoat and his shirt and his old-fashioned trouser flies. “So many buttons,” he grumbles, but Aziraphale just smiles, he knows Crowley likes the fact that the many buttons draw this part out and out and out, filling them both with delicious shivery anticipation.

3. Inception’s many challenges are a great way to write things you might not of thought of yourself, and for Eames Stupid Cupid I was lucky enough to get a prompt from @oceaxe-ifdawn, giver of the very best prompts, that really make me think. This one was no exception: “distemper” -- an illness and an old-fashioned kind of paint. I imagined Eames (in particular) growing sick of dreamshare and wanting A new life, which I pictured in the sort of sleepy French village that I have dreamed of living in. I am not nearly good enough at investing to afford such a thing, but Arthur is.

“What are we doing, Eames?” says Arthur as he drives back down the track, concentrating on the ruts.

“Thinking of buying a farm?”

Arthur laughs. “Well, we are retired.”

“You’d consider it? It’s not just the sort of holiday dream you allow yourself after a bit too much wine?”

“Not bad wine, either,” says Arthur.

Eames looks over at him and Arthur takes his eyes off the track long enough to meet his smile.

4. I wrote a little thing on New Year’s day, partly because few years ago I spent Christmas day writing a really good Christmas for Bob, who hadn’t until then had many really good Christmases. Rainy day isn’t a seasonal fic at all, just a bit of quiet reflection on how things change and get better.

Much later, after they’ve been and done the shopping and they’re on the sofa watching football, Bob lying with his head in Dave’s lap, not really watching, he was never that interested in football, really, he says: “When I woke up early this morning, the rain was hitting the window and it reminded me of the first time I stayed here. I was so bloody scared, when you asked me to stay, did you know how scared I was?”

Dave says, his hands on Bob, in his hair, on his shoulder, keeping his eyes on the screen like Bob is: “I think I guessed a bit.”

“I’m glad you made me stay, imagine if you hadn’t?”

“We’d still have worked it out, I think.”

“Yeah, probably. But I’m glad I took the second chance then.” He turns his face up to look at Dave, and Dave’s looking down at him. “We know each other so well now, I know what you like, and you know me. I love that. I love it.”

5. Which brings me to the fic that has consumed me for the last six months to the exclusion of everything else. I have never posted a WIP and god, the stress! I don’t think I’ll do it again in a hurry.

Nocturnal Creatures sprung out of the mood that Bastille’s album Doom Days gave me, listening to it in the car driving home form the office (when we still went to offices) late at night. It’s got nothing to do with the story that the album is telling, but the idea of Eames as a vampire who hates being one, meeting Arthur, who is in dreamshare, and daring to hope he could escape his dark existence took hold and wouldn’t let go. So when the Big Bang came around I proposed it. But I hadn’t actually outlined much of it at the time, and it grew a mind of its own and the posting date came and the story was (I thought) not finished but maybe nearly done? Haha, I’m still writing it. I promise it really is nearly finished, anyone who is still interested (but I have said that several times before, I admit). Anyway, here’s a bit from the last chapter I’ve written, which is not posted yet, but will be soon. I’ll put it under a cut.

Arthur sits up, placing a hand on Eames’ chest, keeping him on his back. A frown flits across his face, as if he is debating something with himself. Eames relaxes his hands at his sides, palms up, quiescent, and Arthur smiles, bending down and kissing him. “I’m in your hands,” Eames says. 

Arthur nods, and positions Eames’ arms above his head, spanning both wrists with one strong hand as he leans in again, biting softly at Eames’ mouth, and then harder, pushing in as his other hand moves down, pressing at his throat just hard enough to make Eames swallow, feeling the resistance. And then Arthur’s hand has moved on, down his chest, brushing across his nipples, tweaking one, and when Eames arches into the touch, pinching the other harder. He chases Arthur’s mouth when he ends the kiss, sitting up.

He leans over to the nightstand and Eames lifts his head, trying to see if he is retrieving the lubricant, but in Arthur’s hand is his dark red tie, the tie he gave to Eames. 

“May I?” he asks.

So there we have it, for anyone who is still reading. A year of writing in a very weird time. The pandemic doesn’t feature at all. 

I will tag @amysnotdeadyet, and @oceaxe-ifdawn (I don’t know if you have written anything this year but you have made some fabulous videos), and @my-citrus-pocket

[darkwingsnark]

FIC WRITER MEME

Tagged by @prince-luffy

AO3 name: DarkwingSnark

Fandoms: ...SEE, I’m in lots of fandoms. Or at least, I’ve written for them during hyper-fixation periods. Let’s see what AO3 says...

Batman: The Animated Series (20)

Batman - All Media Types (7)

Wander Over Yonder (Cartoon) (6)

DuckTales (Cartoon 1987) (5)

Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (5)

Penguins of Madagascar (3)

James and the Giant Peach - Roald Dahl (3)

Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991) (3)

Disney - All Media Types (3)

Dan Vs. (2)

Milo Murphy's Law (2)

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (1)

The Batman (Cartoon) (1)

Lady and the Tramp (1955) (1)

Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies (1)

Winnie-the-Pooh - All Media Types (1)

Alice in Wonderland (1951) (1)

Gummi Bears (TV) (1)

Winnie-the-Pooh (Disney) (1)

.... Honestly, I feel like there’s more that this list isn’t covering. Like Phineas and Ferb isn’t here and I wrote for that show too. And many of these can be simplified and condensed because they belong to similar fics.

Tropes: Depends on the fic. But as a whole, tend to write Romantic Comedies with a lot of slow burn. Mostly because... struggle is funny. People being dumdums and oblivious to the obvious is funny. Aaaaand also because it allows the episodic quality of shenanigans to occur.

Number of fics: Up and posted on AO3? 53. Does not include stuff on FF.net or that’s sitting in google docs begging to be finished.

Fic I spent the most time on: Not sure how to read this. Does it mean active man hours? Or does stuff like having a hiatus in-between count? Because TECHNICALLY ‘Real Value’ was started in high school, and I didn’t rewrite it and carry on the series (with Moonie) until many years later. There are also fics like ‘Growing Love’ or ‘Priorities’ that took a lot of time to do research. Like learning how to build a lawn mower so I could have a character believably break it apart for repairs.

....God I do a lot of research that doesn’t go into the actual fics. Because all I need, really, in the confidence of what I’m doing to be the character and describe an action here or there. 

Fic I spent the least time on: Probably something drabble related? Or maybe the fic I did that was just me venting out emotions because I was feeling guilty? ‘A Mother’s Intuition’ was written and posted within a couple of hours.

Longest fic: Complicated. The longest thing written is technically an RP, NOT a story. (Different, trust me.) ‘What Happens in Gotham’ has a word count of  207,413. But fic wise at 89,022 word would be ‘The Constant Gardener’ . 

Runner up being ‘Priorities’ at little over 87k.

Shortest fic: Drabbles? Uh, let’s see.. Probably from ‘Beauty and Your Worth’, as i think one was literally a paragraph long. ... Speaking of Gummi Bears, I wonder if I still have my notes on the GruffiGusto fic I wanted to write. Something to look into.

Most hits: Apparently ‘Fallen Hard’ at  5354

Most kudos: Also ‘Fallen Hard’ at 518. There... were more fans of Milo Murphy’s Law than I realised. 

Most comment threads: ‘Fallen Hard’, 193 comments. ‘What Happens in Gotham’ following at 185.

Most bookmarks: .... that’s something people care about? I hardly ever bookmark things, since I read it in one go. But... I can look?

Ah.... ‘Fallen Hard’. 63

Total word count: 971,833 Oh hey! Almost a million. That’s something to celebrate.

Favorite fic I wrote: 'Knights of Dobenshire’. Hands down. (With ‘Heart of the Cards’ being very close.) I like writing road trip styled stories. It allows many things to happen within the narrative. BUT, ‘Knights of Dobenshire’ wins because it was such a satisfying conclusion of this build up, you know? Scrooge is finally no longer just putting up with the relationship with Fenton, but fully embracing it. That surprise feeling that hits him when he realizes, dear lord, he IS attracted to Fenton beyond affection. 

It hits me more than a mutual pining because there I KNOW they will get together. But here? While writing with Moonie? I DIDN’T KNOW! I was worried in the end we’d have to write another fic to finally reach that step. Scrooge is stubborn and does what he wants, let me tell ya.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 'Fallen Hard’, ‘Season of Miracles’, ‘Going with the Flow’, pretty much anything that isn’t complete. BUT, not posted, I really want to get back to more of the stories planned in the McCrack series. It was a ship I kinda made from the ground up, with nobody caring about it in the beginning. So it feels very important to see that series through.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

... Actually, I can share something from 'Donald’s Party (Working Title)’. @swampy-tiefling and I started. Just the first scene to get you guys hooked.

Donald took a deep breath of air from the doorway of the house and sighed, once again pleased to find himself at his home away from home. Traveling the seas and exploring the world with the navy were its own rewards, he supposed, but there would never be anything quite like the countryside-- the middle aged mallard having practically been raised on Grandma Duck’s farm. Donald Duck was happy to be on shore-- his naval carrier being docked for the week in Duckburg as they replenished supplies and took care of whatever repairs that were needed. Whatever excuse his bosses wanted to use were fine by him, he was just happy to not be scrubbing decks for a change!

That didn’t, however, mean he was able to rest and relax-- as the duck was startled out of his thoughts as somebody bumped into him. That somebody was his grandmother as she came to, just having caught her plate of cookies before they fell.

“My land, Donald! What in the world are you doing hiding here when you should be meetin’ and greetin’ the guests?”

Donald ignored the woman’s soft glare as he waved her off, using his other hand to steal a cookie in the process. Stuffing it in his mouth, he murmured out a response.

“Phooey, they’re just relatives.”

“Even more of a reason to go out and talk to them.” Before the sailor could argue, Grandma Duck placed the plate of treats into his hands. “And put these out on the snack table while you’re at it. Poor Fethry is looking peckish.”

Donald rolled his eyes, but otherwise did as he was told. Wasn’t it just like life to make him work at his own welcome home party? Walking towards the open yard where the party was taking place, it didn’t take long to reach the table, where his cousins were already gathered around as they chat.

This instantly caught the attention of the lankier duck, his gaze zoning in as he smiled widely towards Donald in greeting.

“Well if it ain’t the guest of honor, with snacks to boot!” Fethry leaned closer, his red hat wobbling with him as he continued to inquire. “Say, cuz, ya wouldn’t happen to know if these are gluten free, would ya?”

Donald gave him an unimpressed look. 

“You’re not going on another crazy diet, are ya?” Though, in all honesty, he was more worried his looney cousin might try to drag him along-- and after months of eating nothing but mush, he would NOT miss out on his first chance to pig out on actual home cooked meals.

"Not crazy at all, actually!" Fethry grinned that goofy grin. "See, it's all right here; Gluten Free; It's the Way to Be' !" he shoved a rather lengthy-looking hard cover book in Donald's face. Donald had no choice but to stare at it, the words all blurring together from its close proximity to his eyes. The offending object remained there for only a second, however, before it was yanked back, the nutty mallard already busy flipping through it.

"Let's see, here, there's a fascinating chapter I think you should-- Don?"

Phew, that had been close. Donald was still in sneaking away mode, and jumped and yelped when he was tapped on the shoulder. Oh no. He'd been caught, after all. He slowly turned, with a forced, toothy grin, to face his fate.

A wave of relief washed over him when he saw his girlfriend, Daisy, smiling sweetly at him, instead.

“And where do you think you’re sneaking off to, Mister? You’ve been gone for so long, and here we are, with you haven’t even given me a kiss ‘hello’ yet.” 

Now there was something Donald didn’t mind doing, as his girlfriend leaned in her face for her reward. Wrapping his arms around her, he planted the biggest of smooches to her temple. 

“Gaww, I’m sorry Daisy. I really did miss you.”

This earned him a soft smile, as it was Daisy’s turn to kiss him on the forehead.

“And I missed you, hun. Now, tell me… why WERE you sneaking around?”

“Grandma put me on entertainment duty.”

“Well, “ his girlfriend began, “it IS your party, after all. They came to see you, seems fair to me.” This made the sailor groan as she looked at him unsympathetically. Rolling her eyes, the reporter sarcastically patted her boyfriend in comfort. “There there. Now don’t go sneaking off for real, the boys will be arriving soon. And Grandma tells me Uncle Scrooge will be bringing along a special guest.”

“Special guest?” Donald asked incredulously. “Like who?” This caused Daisy’s eyes to glimmer all the more in mischief, a look that told him that she knew something he didn’t know. And that something was big news, if he was reading her right.

“Oh, nobody TOO special, I suppose,” Daisy was stalling, and it was driving Donald up the wall. The duck woman continued her teasing. “Nobody except your uncle’s new date friend.”

"Date friend?" Donald practically exclaimed, prompting Daisy's grin to grow all the more smug.

"Yep! You've missed quite a bit since you've been away, you know."

"No kidding...well I'll be..." Donald was shaking his head, but he was smiling. Uncle Scrooge, dating, at his age... it was nothing short of a miracle. It was about time, too!

"Meanwhile, why don't you go say hi to the rest of the guests? I know it's hard..." she rolled her eyes. "but at least make an effort, okay? Thanks, hun!"

Donald's heart fluttered as she smooched his cheek, and left. He glanced out over the yard, and saw quite a few familiar faces; Gus, Ludwig, Gladstone... heck, even Gyro Gearloose had shown up!

He sighed, but this one wasn't a sigh of pure despair. It did feel nice to be home, surrounded by people who most likely cared, and his nephews were even going to show up soon. Not to mention, he'd get to tease his uncle for finally taking his advice on the whole dating thing. 

That alone gave Donald the pep in his step he needed as he threw himself back into the party-- where he knew his crazed family would be waiting for him. 

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 16

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; chap 1 ; chap 2 ; chap 3 ; chap 4 ; chap 5 ; chap 6 ; chap 7 ; chap 8 ; chap 9 ; chap 10 ; chap 11 ; chap 12 ; chap 13 ; chap 14 ; chap 15

Masterlist : here

AN : Hi! Sorry I’m a bit late! Is this... the last chapter ? Oh my God. There will be an epilogue, too ! So in this chapter, there’s a misunderstanding and- I can’t tell eheh. Please feel free to tell me what you think about it because I sure had trouble writing this one. Thank you all for the love and support !

Chapter 16 : I do

Sooner than we thought, a consequent amount of work fell on all of us, preventing us from seeing each other. And like that, days went by... and then weeks. January had been a harsh month for everybody. A few teachers were late on their program so we had to learn more, write faster. Meanwhile others just enjoyed watching us suffer and kept giving more homework, letting us witness with horror how it piled up in a corner of our room like an insatiable monster that kept growing and growing. Those were the dark times. It became impossible for us to even have lunch together. Tensions began to rise. Josh was irritable because his singing teacher was a jerk to him. Mandy kept skipping more and more classes, running everywhere in town to find clothes. Jake, completely depressed, looked like a character from Corpse Bride, and not a pretty one. As for me, I was a mix of all of them. Living with Mandy has for the first time proven to have its downsides, as her stress was rubbing off on me, while my annoyance to some of my failed assignments got to her nerves too. The boys were no exception, and we had a perfect example of it during a lecture, when Josh snapped at the teacher after she made a snark comment about his last grade. All heads turned to him, even ours, and with a mix of shame and anger, he took his bag and slammed the door behind himself without a word. In retrospect, it had been so fucking cool, although a bit rude considering he didn't have to talk to her like that even with her sly remark... But the way he just told her off, took his belongings and proudly yet bitterly exited the amphitheater was one of the highlights of this year, goddamn the boy had balls.

One of the things that really helped me get through this horrible period was Greta Van Fleet's album on shuffle on my earphones accompanying me during my days in the workshop. And then one day around 2pm we all received a text from Josh.

« If we don't go drinking tonight I swear I will explode, I'm already having nervous breakdowns every week, I need to get out of this school, let's meet at 8 »

Well, the message couldn't be clearer than that, could it ? And my phone vibrated multiple times when the others replied, showing some « Thank God » and « Please let's » on the screen before I discreetly put it back inside my pocket. It had been the first time we went to the bar as a group, with Sam and Danny. And somehow, because we spent a pleasant night together without coming home too late or too drunk, we simultaneously thought it'd be a good idea to reiterate the experience. At least once a week, sometimes every day, we met at the café, occasionally bringing work with us and helping each other. It was close to our school thus convenient, but still far enough to allow us to take a breath of fresh air and think of something else for a while. Most of the time, it was deserted, the only few patrons that came to drink their coffee being regulars, and we enjoyed the calm, even if we were noisy ourselves. Sometimes, Mandy was too busy to come, sometimes it was Sam, so it happened that Danny and I were the only ones being here, or just the twins, but it didn't really matter, there was always one of us here and the others could always come to meet. Josh's idea had help us clear our minds and we were all thankful for that. What I wasn't thankful for, on the other hand, was the way his loud mouth spoke freely about things that didn't concern him at all, least of all Sam and Danny. Of course, he talked about the Jake situation. At first I was outraged and even slapped him on the arm, to which he just shrugged, explaining his brother was always late anyway, so we could talk about it. As if that was the issue here ! But as time went by, I calmed down. Sam and Danny already knew, having noticed but not wanting to adress the elephant in the room. Now that the subject had been thrown on the table though, it was different, and if at first Sam's awful comments about how we were both taking our sweet time pissed me off, now we discussed it quietly, confessing my thoughts and feelings in exchange for some advices.

Today was one of those days. The gang was reunited, sitting across a small round table after a tiring day, clinking glasses and chatting loudly, everybody cutting each other off during spicy topics that constantly created heated arguments. Mandy and Sam's bickering never failed to amuse us, with me falling back againt the couch laughing, Josh having climbed on a chair to yell over them in a dramatic manner, and Danny commenting their arguments with a sportscaster voice while they just pointed angrily at each other. It happened once or twice (make it thrice or fourth) now that the bartender had to come to our table to make us cool down, threatening to kick us out if we didn't, because he couldn't even hear the damn radio. Today, like any other day, the only one missing was Jake, fashionably late as always.

- You guys never agree on anything, that's frankly amazing, I said while wipping a tear from the corner of my eye.

Two murderous glare were instantly directed at me, dead serious, like their constant quarelling wasn't something you could take lightly. Of course, they never was any sort of resentment between them, it was more like a game that was entirely theirs. Mandy knew Sam liked to tease her to no end, and the boy never took the words she threw his way to heart. They were never hurtful anyway, they would always make sure of that.

- You know what they say..., announced Josh while taking a sip of his beer, love always starts with hatred.

- Nobody says that..., muttered a perplexed Danny.

However his confusion got rapidly interupted by Sam and Mandy's shouting, barking at Josh telling him how wrong he was about them while the curly boy smiled through his glass.

- I'd rather die, said my roommie.

- That should be my line, replied Sam.

Josh and I exchanged a mischevious and knowing glance that unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by his little brother. The long haired boy made a show of putting both elbows on the table before a devilish smile spread on his lips. Uh-oh.

- Speaking of which, how's Jakey ?

Admiring the way my cheeks grew red at the mention of the object of my affection, he patiently waited for my stuttering to stop while Mandy took side with him, adopting the same posture. Sitting between them, Danny comically raised his eyebrows, knowing damn well they'll torture me to no end, like they took the habit to do when Jake wasn't around. Of course Josh ignored my pleading eyes, enjoying where the conversation was going.

- You should know, you're his brother.

My reply was weak and didn't hide how bashful the subject made me, more reasons for him to pursue it.

- Come on, Mandy told me about the kiss of the century, there's no way nothing happened after that !

- For someone who claims Sam's a pain in the ass you guys are awfully close !, I exclaimed while watching her with an expression of fake betrayal.

- Hey, don't try to change the topic.

A long and loud sigh made its way out of my throat and my eyes were suddenly too absorbed by the bubbles of my soda spiralling to the surface to meet their expectant gazes. God why was it such a big thing to them ? Their fascination for my love life was starting to upset me, especially since it was a lost cause. There was really no reason to dwell upon it. Would they ever drop it ?

- Nothing happened between Jake and I. What do you want me to tell you ? It was just a kiss between friends, it doesn't mean anything.

At that, I felt my chest constrict. It didn't mean anything... for Jake, that is. For me, however... All of them suddenly went awfully quiet, in a very uncharacteristic manner. My head raised in surprise at their abrupt silence, only to be greeted by Jake's gaze on me, standing in front of our table. He must've been waiting for his chance to say hello all the while stepping on a conversation he wasn't meant to hear. My face must've lost all of its colors, and a glance around me confirmed what I feared ; judging by their awkward behaviours, Jake had heard. The boy cleared his throat, showing a toothy smile to the lot of us.

- Hi guys, whatcha talking about ?

During the few seconds he stayed with his back facing us to get a chair, we were all exchanging shocked and confused glances, mouthing hurried words to each other. Was he pretending he didn't  hear anything I said ? Did he genuinely not hear our conversation ? However much I pondered about it, and tried relentlessly to think of all the possibilities that could've happened just now, I was at a loss, it was no use. The only thing to do was to go along and play his game, pretending he hadn't just walked on us gossiping about him. It was so awkward. Danny and Josh were the first to bring a new and funny topic, throwing jokes his way, studying his reaction. They immediately put him at ease, inviting Sam and Mandy to the masquerade, effectively hiding their uneasiness for his and my sake. It wasn't working on me, though. I sank into the couch, feeling incredibly shameful. And the few times I tried to react to the conversation at hands, I saw Jake avoid my eyes. Fuck.

I would lie if I said what happened at the bar wasn't playing on loop on my mind. It had been impossible for me to read Jake's brown eyes when he interrupted us, but there was absolutely no doubt that the boy heard us. Maybe it was for the best. I was the one pretending we were just friends anyway, so it wouldn't change anything... except now that he was single a part of me couldn't help but hope I had a chance with him... until now. Because if I was sure of one thing at the moment, it's that Jake was certain I only saw him as a friend. Why was I so unlucky anyway ? Did I offend God in a previous life ?! Man, it was harsh... Just when I had a feeling things could evolve between us, everything got in the way. Work, misunderstandings, my stupidity... On the bright side, I was so thankful I didn't say anything shameful. Because I could've told an awful lot of those. And for nothing in the world I wanted him to walk in when I was making a speech about the soft gleaming of his scar under the sun, or the roundness of his ass. I would forever thank my ability to always find a way to relativise, even during a crisis like this one.

Another person with the same quality was Josh, on top of being a really observant boy, and a good friend. So it was no surprise to me when he nudged my arm during a lecture and leaned into my ear to ask if he could come over after school.

- You know you're always welcome, I whispered back.

Josh smiled a me, and the exchange between us should've ended right here, but I saw his eyes gaze at something behind me, his smile changing into a smirk. He must've caught me notice it because he turned to his notebook again, playing innocent. My head jerked into Jake's direction, studying his stiff figure and furrowed brows. What the hell were they playing at ?

During the few days that followed that incident at the bar, I didn't get any answers to that question. The twins kept exchanging glances whenever I was near one or the other, and the more days passed the more moody Jake looked. I had tried to text him several times during the week, making small talk, asking what he was up to, and sharing silly anecdotes, only to be faced with cold answers. It was like talking to a wall. Something was upsetting him, but I had no way to know if it was school related, because of Josh's behaviour, or if I was the cause of it.

It was friday night when Danny slammed open the café door, causing the bartender to scowl, before completely ignoring him to look for us through the small crowd, hurriedly coming to our table. The drummer threw himself on the couch next to Mandy, looking out of breath but over-excited. And while his happy yet sweaty face made me question him, it only took a simple look for his bandmates to know what was going on. Sam was the first to exclaim and jump on his feet, almost toppling the table with his thighs, making the glasses clink dangerously.

- Are you serious?!

Still out of breath, Danny nodded, interrupting his heavy panting to gulp down the beer Jake was offering him. Josh and him were the next to understand.

- Really ?!

- Okay what is going on, should we be excited to ?, asked Mandy who was sheltering her drink in case anyone else wanted to try and knock over their table.

The drummer raised a finger our direction, indicating he needed some more time to recover from his sprint, removing his scarf in the process. His face was beet red, and although he looked like he was the most athletic of the group, I got slightly concerned he was about to die. He must've ran a long distance real fast, and judging by our friends' hysteria and high-fives, the news were good.

- Greta Van Fleet is playing tomorrow night at O'Malley's.

He let it all out in one go but the words were cristal clear, and now it was Mandy and I's turn to cheer and applaud loudly, congratulating the boys and clinking our glasses together, already chatting about the event before a threatening « Shut up ! » came from another table.

- It's so great you guys ! But are you ready ? Tomorrow night is a bit...

Josh shrugged away my concerns, placing an arm around my shoulder, speaking with his hands.

- Not at all, doll, we're more than ready. In fact we wanted to play there for a while, but the place's always packed.

- Someone cancelled their show at the last minute, so Danny got to negociate, interrupted Jake to sum things up.

Despite the general enthusiasm around the table, I didn't miss the look Jake gave to Josh's hand resting on my shoulder. The boys all nodded, Sam ruffling Danny's hair while congratulating him for his hard work and perseverance. Everyone agreed to buy him drinks to thank him, ignoring his shy protests and rosy cheeks at all the praise. Without even being a member of their band, Mandy and I shared their excitement, already asking what the setlist would be and bargaining with Josh when he insisted that it was a secret. The O'Malley was an Irish pub, like you could guess by their name, located by the docks. Which only meant one thing : it was crazy popular among students. Not only from our campus, but another art school rivaling ours. To be honest the teachers were the ones competing, as us students from both universities often met and hung out together. A lot of them came to our festivals and events, thus becoming friends with us. We let them come to our parties, and they never forgot to invite us over for theirs. Greta Van Fleet playing at the O'Malley on a Saturday night would no doubt be a huge step forward for the boys' band. I could sense the doors of success were already waiting for them to push them open.

The boys rehearsed all day long Saturday, waking up before dawn and arriving early to set everything up and properly meet the owner of the bar. Pictures were sent to our groupchat, Sam explaining that the staff had thanked them for their availability, relieved that they quickly found another band to replace the one who couldn't attend. Mandy and I chose to come early too, arriving one hour before the show and already having trouble finding a seat through the sea of students occupying every inch of space available. Whereas it was because they were taking shelter from the cold, or because their feet ached from standing in the cold didn't matter to the boys, who were delighted to welcome with open arms the newcomers and introduce them to their music. It helped that the word had spread super fast on campus too, with Jake's post on the school's Facebook page. Nursing my beer next to Mandy at the far end of the bar, I recognized the girls from the other time, the night we had our Christmas party, chatting to their girl friends, standing in front of the stage. When the boys got in to set up their instruments, I saw them salute the band, shaking hands and exchanging friendly words with Josh while Jake didn't bother giving them more than a glance and a nod before turning back to his guitar, causing me to snort behind my glass. Mandy was quick to notice that.

- Well aren't you a sneaky little one.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

Paying for her cocktail and putting her change back in her purse, she adopted my posture, back resting against the bar, drink in hand, eyes to the stage. Wearing a black and gold fringe jacket, Jake was focusing on his guitar, tuning it with great care, pick stuck between his lips, the ring I offered him gleaming under the spotlights. Onstage, he looked out of this world, unattainable.

- You know they stand no chance, said Mandy.

It caught me off-guard. But did they ? I looked their way, observing their pretty faces, skin glowing with light makeup, batting their eyelashes, bracelets clinking against one another, long fingers playing with silk strands of hair. A part of me knew Mandy was right and that they couldn't replace me. But then again, incertitude argued that it was my ego talking, and that my confidence was misplaced. With Jake giving me the cold shoulder, I wasn't able to look at the situation with a fair point of view, and Mandy's opinion was made unrelevant by the simple fact that she was my friend. And one thing I knew for sure was that friends were biased, because they loved you. I chose to change the topic.

- What about you and Sam ?

- I don't know what you're talking about, she mimicked.

To make sure my stern look was effective, I turned to her completely, resting an elbow on the bar, while she comically took a long sip of her cocktail, avoiding my eyes, making me smile before I turned to face the stage once more. All barstools and chairs were taken, much to our inconvenience, and shifting from one foot to the other was the only thing I found to release some of the soreness.

- I saw you holding hands under the table.

She gasped audibly before giving me a death stare that just fueled my laughter. There was no way I didn't notice their act, and I was quite certain the others did too, but chose to ignore it. Which by the way was unfair since the lot of them commented my love life like it was a soap opera. However Mandy didn't have the time to give me a proper answer, cut off by Josh's words into the mic, greeting the crowd and announcing the show was about to start.

If anything, their second time playing was even better than the first one. The boys were on fire. Each member had their time to shine in the form of a solo, Josh being his charming self in the meantime, playing with the crowd and blowing kisses our way. They played some covers, encouraging everybody to sing along, but also songs we never heard before, that weren't on the album. One of them in particular allowing Jake to show off the extent of his guitar skills. He blew me away. Expression serious, toned skin glistening with sweat under the blue lights, while Josh's tambourine and melancholic cries accompanied the torturous sounds of his guitar. There was something special about this one, that made my chest constrict due to several emotions contradicting themselves at the same time, causing a turmoil within me. Intrigued by their music or just in need of a drink, several people came into the bar that night, packing the place with new faces, all of them staying for the amazing show the boys were providing for us. By the time they finished, I had long forgotten about my aching feet, instead welcoming the boys in a tight hug, complimenting and congratulating them. Mandy and I already had their beers ready, before anyone else could cut the ground from under our feet. Not that there was anything wrong with people buying them drinks, it was always a very nice thing to do, we just wanted to be the first ones to do it, at least for tonight. They were our friends, so it only seemed fair.

- Here.

Handing Jake his beer, I took a good look at his content face, smile plastered on his lips and moist strands of brown hair sticking to his forehead. He looked gorgeous, at peace and proud of himself and his band. Some people offered them drinks, like we thought they'd do, students came talking to them, to make small chat or to congratulate them. The boys took their time before packing up, talking and laughing with us, their enthusiasm contagious. When closing, the bartender even invited us all to stay inside and have a chat, drinks on the house. It felt incredibly nice to be able to stay here while everybody else had to leave, even the few girls still talking with Jake. Now I'm not gonna lie I might have directed a smile or two their way when the bartender closed the door behind them...

Going back to the dorms was... not an easy task to say the least. We had to call a cab, but as we couldn't all fit in it, we split teams, the most important thing being their music instruments. But even before that... Danny's drumkit was heavy as hell, the boys were tipsy enough to be clumsy and numerous times their instruments threatened to slip and drop on the hard conrete. And even if he was the only one who didn't need to carry anything at all, Josh was completely wasted, singing loud gibberish nonsense, waking up the dogs and barking back at them, removing his shoes and throwing them to trees... Man he was so out of control when drunk even the 5 of us couldn't properly babysit him. It made me realize it was the first time I was sober when he wasn't. And I didn't dare imagine how we must've wreaked havoc the night we brought back the couch to our dorm. Of all of us, Jake once more proved that he was the most serious and reasonable. It wasn't much of a surprise, actually. From what I knew, in situations that required seriousness, the brunette had always been this composed, level-headed boy. I loved that about him, his ability to remain remarkably quiet, then go crazy all of a sudden, before returning to his peaceful self. Josh's shoes in hand, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips when I saw Jake giving his brother a piggy back ride, moved by the fond scene in front of my eyes.

When the cab finally reached our school, Danny and Sam were waiting for us sitting on cases, explaining Josh had forgotten to hand them the key to their door. Since he was the one who didn't need to transport anything, it was only fair he at least took care of the keys in case they'd got lost in a guitar case or whatnot. I couldn't help but think we looked like a bunch of burglars, when everybody started muttering at the same time and hushing each other in the dark of the night. Mandy yawned, waiting to kiss them goodnight to go to sleep, and Jake sighed, defeated.

- Okay Josh, give me the keys.

Once again carrying his twin on his back, the long haired boy nudged his sleepy cheek with his shoulder to wake him up, not minding the drool on his jacket. Mandy couldn't contain a cute noise when Josh turned his head to get more comfortable in his brother's back, making Jake snort in the process.

- Just drop him, suggested Sam right before Danny elbowed him.

He really could've, to wake him up, but it seemed like Jake didn't have the heart to shake him out of his peaceful drowse. More abruptly, he shook his shoulder, causing Josh to whine.

- What, he groaned.

- We're in front of the dorms, give me the keys.

There was a silence during which Josh sighed, taking his time to process what his brother was asking, unfazed by Sam's complaints. The boy rubbed his eyes, sliding an arm in Jake's back to comfortably put his head against it. I could tell he was beginning to feel heavy, because Jake's hold on him slipped more and more frequently and he had to give him a small but strong push to get him back into place.

- What keys, he finally said.

Mandy and I exchanged a glance, one of those that said « Shit's about to go down », and Danny's face lit up with concern. You could see he already had the worst case scenario figured in his mind and was imagining them sleeping in the school's park.

- What do you mean you-

- Sam, Jake warned him. Josh, remember, we told you to take the keys to our rooms so we don't put them by mistake in one of the cases.

- No you didn't.

He was now perfectly awake, shaken by the confusing accusations, and got off of Jake's back, stumbling a bit, probably because his legs must felt numb after being carried around for a long period of time. Sam got up too, not amused by the situation. He was cold, he was tired, and he still had a lot of shit to lift on the stairs and if possible he wanted to be done with it before dawn.

- Yes we did !, the bassist said with his arms raised in the air.

- Yeah, we did, Danny assured him when Josh's gaze found his face for some sort of confirmation.

Silence again. Somehow, Mandy and I didn't dare to watch them. It remembered me of those situations when parents are having a fight and then turn to you... and start finding every excuse they can to yell at you even though you've done nothing. Well... Let's say we tried to summon our inner chameleons while they all started to get pissed at Josh. It was kind of awkward and we couldn't find a good time to leave. Besides, we couldn't let them sleep under the stars.

- Why don't you sleep at ours for tonight ? You'll return to the O'Malley tomorrow and ask them about the keys.

It was the most Mandy thing I ever said since we met the guys, but it was the only solution right now. It took us another hour to climb the stairs with all those heavy and big instruments cases, probably waking up half of the dorm in the process, but it felt so good to be home. The room was warm, and the bed was calling me. The first thing Josh did was to dive head first onto the couch without even taking the time to remove his coat, and fell asleep almost immediately, pulling the blanket on him (more like letting it fall on his body). Sitting around the kitchen table, we all had a hot cup of tea/coffee to warm us up and get some of the alcohol out of our system. Danny was the first one to word his concern about the bedding.

- It's really nice you girls allow us to sleep here for the night, he shyly said, but...

His big hands were entirely covering his mug, enjoying its warmth, thumb caressing the edge of it, thinking of a good way to phrase it. An embarrassed look was adorning his features, which I couldn't help but find endearing.

- There's no room for six... is it ?

- You're right, Jake said. Maybe I should stay awake ?

I didn't know if it was a rhetorical question or if he was being serious but there was no way anybody stayed awake while the others were asleep. First of all, it was creepy. But above all, it wasn't fair. Thinking hard, I let a hand run through my hair, ruffling the locks in its passage.

- Oh, Mandy I think there's an airmat under your bed ! There, two down, four more to go. Let's see...

- We just have to share beds, suddenly said Sam.

All heads turned to him, and the boy put his cup on the table, shrugging.

- What ? It's the easy solution. There are two big beds in the room, don't tell me nobody thought about it. What do you think, Jake ?

His cough was so loud he spilled his drink everywhere on his hands, color leaving then regaining his face alternaly. Standing up to lay his empty cup in the sink, Sam patted his back, wicked smile on his face.

- Then it's settled. Let's go, Mandy.

Oh you sneaky son of a...

I should've seen this coming. I should've known better. Of course Sam would do something like that, it was so him, I couldn't believe I let my guard down like that. And his little act with Mandy, pretending they didn't like each other and then snuggling in bed, ah, I hated my friends. The sadistic bastard even got Danny to play along in his three years plan to make my life miserable.

It was uncomfortably silent for a room filled with six young adults, our breathing being the only noise audible. With the halfway closed curtains, the dim light was dark enough for us to distinguish forms and silhouettes painted in different shades of blue and grey. Sometimes, the sound of a cover brushing against the mattress will get me out of my thoughts, other times it will be Josh's sleep talking or Danny's serene snoring. Sam had lied. The bed wasn't big at all. It was cramped, at best, and I couldn't calm down at all. Jake's warmth was suffocating, my thumping heart wouldn't slow down, and I was over conscious of every little thing he was doing. My throat instinctively tried to swallow the lump residing there when I felt the covers ruffling on my skin, Jake's hot breath now brushing my neck.

- Can't sleep ?

His husky voice whispering in my ear caused an uncontrollable shiver to run down my spine. Each of his breathes awoke goosebumps on my skin, covering their path like grass would grow after the rain. It always amazed me, the power he had over me, without even realizing it. Just two words murmured in the crook of my neck and my body was almost trembling already. As my voice was caught in my throat, my body reacted on its own and I shook my head slightly, enough for him to notice. Jake sighed. I could hear him rustling and moving behind me, careful not to touch me and not knowing what to do with his long arms.

- Did you mean it ?, he said after a while.

Furrowing my brows in confusion wasn't going to work, so I turned to face him, both lying on our side to look at each other in the dark. I could only see the shadows of his face, but by now my eyes were accustomed enough to distinguish his expressions more clearly. Jake swallowed hard, gaze focusing on anything but my eyes, looking... confused and rather saddened, discouraged.

- What you said at the bar.

At the bar... My brain had trouble seeing where he was going, but my body must've sensed it on instinct because my heart started pounding madly, as if wanting to warn me of what was coming. Suddenly brave enough to face me, Jake's eyes stared into mine, intense yet unsure.

- Do you only see me as a friend... ?

Unable to run away, I had to face him, and answer him. My voice was still caught in my throat, and my palms were getting sweaty. Jake was dead serious. So much that I thought for a second I was dreaming. His eyes weren't leaving mine, I had to answer. But what was the good thing to say ? What would I do if I told him the truth and he only saw me as a friend ? From my perspective he led me into thinking there might be more but... My feelings for him were blurring everything. And if I lied... and he wanted to be more than friends... Then I'd lose him.

- Jake...

- Because I really want to kiss you right now.

His hand hovered above my head, fingers carefully rustling my hair, pushing some strands behind my ear and brushing my cheek. His eyes, half-lidded and gaze burning, were following every inch his digits traced on my skin. Carefully, Jake's thumb came caressing my lower lip, slowly, painfully so, admiring how soft it felt against his finger, parting it slightly from its twin. A ragged breath escaped from them, and his eyes found mine again, dying to get permission. Shyly, my shaky hand gripped his shirt, pulling it close. It was the only thing he needed to lose all control, and he swiftly straddled my hips, framing my head with his arms, before ghosting his lips over mine. My mind was foggy, and my brain couldn't understand anything anymore, all I knew was that I had waited for this for so long, I didn't want to waste any more time now. Arms snaking around Jake's neck, I closed the distance separating us, the soft and awaited contact causing us to sigh in unison. It felt so good, both inside and out. His plump lips captured mine with a mixture of longing and hunger, while my heart was about to burst from happinness. With confidence, I embraced him more, pulling him closer to me, biting his lip and admiring the way it made him gasp, feeling his shaky fingers hesitating to touch me, like he was under some kind of delirium tremens and I was the fantasy haunting his nights. It only made me want him more. Never once did he try to touch me in a way that I wasn't ready for yet, keeping it chaste, and I'll forever be thankful for that. It seemed like we both had silently agreed to take our time, but I couldn't concentrate on that right now. Not when Jake's tongue was licking my lips, taking my lower one between his teeth to playfully chew on it, making me pant, fingers lost in his long brown hair. There was a sense of urgence to this kiss, of need even, like he had been waiting for it for so long he couldn't refrain himself anymore. The mere thought of it made me hot. Eventually, we cooled down, and Jake stayed on top of me, leaning on his arms, covering my face with soft kisses, the sound of them resonating in the room. We looked at each other for a while, and I couldn't stop a bubbly giggle, making him chuckle too.

- Fuck... I had thought about this moment for so long, his raspy voice murmured.

- Me too.

- I always thought you liked Josh better.

So that was what it was about, all those past days... Josh upsetting Jake on purpose because he was jealous. What a brat, I couldn’t believe them, so silly.

- Dummy. I think I like you.

My voice was almost inaudible, barely a whisper. It made me blush, but now it was out, and it felt so good to get rid of this weight. Jake nuzzled my neck, taking in my scent, tickling me.

- You think ?

I could tell he was as embarrassed as me, and probably not as confident as he looked, because his cheeks were burning hot, and he wouldn't face me. Against my chest, the accelerated beating of his heart was so loud it seemed like it was communicating with mine.

- No, I said. I'm sure.

Slouching against me in a relieved manner, the boy let out a sigh that burned my skin, before shifting to comfortably rest his chin on my chest, facing me with a smile on his face.

- Good. Because I do too.

Even in the dark, I could see the way his cheeks were a darker shade of gray than the rest of his features. Jake liked me. A huge wave of joy went through my body, overcoming me with both delight and relief. There was no words I could put on this sensation. Suddenly, it was like every other problem in the world had faded away, and I finally understood Edith Piaf's La Vie En Rose. Being in his arms, lying against one another, skin against skin, everything finally made sense.

- Come here, I whispered.

We kissed again, playful and teasing, barely containing our excited giggles.

- Shut up !!

Sam's pillow came flying our way, quickly followed by Josh, Mandy, and Danny's.

- Fucking date already !

- So annoying, people are trying to sleep !

More cushions came crashing down on our bed, making us laugh for real this time, as Jake took them in his hands to fight back. Soon, shouting, laughter and feathers filled the room, as the sun was beginning to appear in the clear sky of February. And as we were all screaming and throwing pillows at each other, I couldn't help but smile, and exchange warm glances with Jake.

Yeah, with him by my side, everything's going to be just fine.

[clevercatchphrase]

2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1)      Pay off all my student loans 2)      Finish some song comics 3)      Make art for my Redbubble account 4)      Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5)      Practice ASL 6)      Sew some stuffed animals 7)      Finish some fan fictions 8)      Work on Ghost Switch 9)      AMVs 10)   Do some original writing 11)   Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force!  I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1)      Finish paying off that last student loan 2)      Put more stuff on my redbubble 3)      Illustrate my own fan fics 4)      Sew at least one stuffed animal 5)      Make an enamel pin 6)      Read one new book a month 7)      Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8)      Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9)      Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10)   Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you  might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number  9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

[ariesbilly]

'This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.' gladsythe

shout out to the last episode of animal kingdom for inspiring this ✌🏻 this also can be considered a sequel of sorts to one of my wips that maybe one day you all can read lmao

–

gladys, on some level, had always wanted to be a mother.

well, she had always been maternal, at least. turns out being 7 months pregnant and confined to a couch wasn’t exactly her idea of a good time.

“I can’t do two more months of this, FP. I’m going fucking stir crazy.”

“Do you want to go for a walk? We can go for a walk.” 

“No, I do not want to go for a fucking walk!” gladys slams her hands on the couch, catches fp standing in the kitchen giving her that look that means she’s lashing out a little too much. she rubs her hands over face, groans, before composing herself. “I’m sorry.” she still sounds annoyed, but at this point that’s her base level of calm, so fp doesn’t argue.

he walks into the living room, sits on the coffee table in front of the couch, takes one of his wife’s feet and sets it in his lap as he starts massaging. that always seems to do the trick. at least a little bit. “Tell me what you want to do, then.”

gladys looks at him then, something mischievous sparkling in her eye. something dangerous. “You remember high school? Senior year?”

“Yeah…” fp drawls, confused as to where this is going. “What about it?”

“Remember those diner stick-ups we used to pull…?”

fp’s eyes go wide and his hands freeze. she’s not seriously- no way. “Gladys. No.”

“Come on, FP…” she leans forward, or tries to. she can only get so far with her belly in the way and her feet propped up. she tries to reach out and stroke fp’s cheek in that soft, gentle way that always gets her what she wants. it’s a lot harder to seduce him now when even this minimal exertion leaves her winded. 

her fingers barely brush the stubble on his face before fp’s standing up and pacing around the small living room, acting like she just suggested they go on some natural born killers-esque spree. she rubs her stomach and prays their son doesn’t inherit his father’s flair for the dramatic.

“Gladys, you’re pregnant. You can barely walk five feet without getting out of breath. Not to mention the fact that trying to pull a heist while you’re with child is completely fucking insane!”

gladys rolls her eyes and sinks back into the couch. “It is not a heist, calm down. And besides, we used to pull these all the time back in the day and did we ever get hurt? No.”

“How soon we forget the time I almost got my head blown off because some psycho decided to play hero!” fp’s voice got louder as the sentence went on until his face was red and he was practically spitting. gladys had to bite her lip from laughing.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad. You still have a head, don’t you?” fp stares at her. clearly unamused. “Listen, no one’s gonna play hero this time because no one wants to be responsible if the pregnant lady gets caught in the crossfire. FP, I’m bored!” gladys jones does not pout or whine, but she’s getting dangerously close to it now. “Have my instincts ever steered us wrong before?”

they haven’t. but gladys had never been carrying his child during any of their past capers, which he thinks is an important distinction. 

“you know, most pregnant women just take up knitting or something when they’re bored.” fp doesn’t know what the hell pregnant women do, but that’s neither here nor there.

gladys can already see his resolve slipping. “i already know how to knit.” she smirks. knows she’s just on the verge of winning. “and when have i ever been most women?”

they exchange a look before fp sighs, shoulders sagging in defeat. he walks back over to the coffee table. sits down. gives gladys a look like he’s in charge of her and gladys plays along. thinks it’s cute. 

“if. and i mean if we do this, the second shit even looks like it has the smallest percentage of going south we are out of there. understood?”

gladys raises an eyebrow. “if?”

fp buries his face in his hands, sits there for a few seconds bouncing his knee up and down, up and down, up and down like maybe it’ll shake some sense into him to tell his wife no.

“i never thought i’d say this to you, but this is without a doubt the stupidest plan you have ever had.”

his voice comes out muffled, but gladys can hear him anyway. just needs that tiniest final nudge for them to be off on their way and hopefully a few hundred dollars richer. “but are you in?”

fp finally looks up, arms falling slack between his legs, tired from the most exhausting conversation of his life. “of course i’m in.”

–

“god, that felt good!” gladys yells, trying to rival the volume of the wind whipping through the open windows of the truck as the pair speed away from a diner some two towns over. 

there’s $400 in the bag at her feet, but for the first time in her life she doesn’t care about the money. it’ll help, sure, but it’s been ages since she’s felt this alive.

“you’re fucking crazy, you know that?” fp’s got a smile on his face about a mile wide as he looks over to his wife before turning his attention back to the road. 

“mmm, that’s why you married me, baby.” she scoots over closer on the bench seat, wraps an arm around fp’s shoulders, uses her other hand to grab his chin and pull him in to a kiss that he happily returns. “god, the look on everyone’s faces when you grabbed me and told that waitress to hand over everything in the register… they were shitting bricks.”

fp can’t help but laugh. “at least they’ll have a story for their grandkids.”

[ink-flavored]

11/11/11 Tag Game

Tagged by the lovely @bookenders ! thanks!

Questions

1. Would you rather know every language on Earth except the one of the country you currently reside, or know every word and definition of every word in your native tongue?

2. You are now allowed to own any animal with the guarantee that you’ll be able to take care of it properly. Who’s your new best friend?

3. What’s the most ridiculous thing on your bucket list?

4. You have to be handcuffed to one of your characters for a week. Who do you pick?

5. What 3 famous people, living or dead, would you most like to chat with?

6. What’s the worst nickname you’ve ever gotten?

7. Do you believe in ghosts? Why/Why not?

8. What’s the best day of the week?

9. Best and worst things you’ve ever bought?

10. You can ask one question, and have it answered completely truthfully – no strings attached. What do you ask?

11. What’s a random piece of trivia you know?

Tagging (no pressure!): @royalbounties, @rainy-rose, @cataclysmic-writer, @isanyonetoknow, @frankenstienn, @rrrawrf-writes, @qelizhus, @tenacious-scripturient @surroundedbypearls, @farrradays, @blueinkblot, and anyone else who feels like it!

 My answers below the cut!

1. What’s a writing tip or piece of advice you stand by 100%? What’s a piece of advice/tip you stand by 0%?

One tip I always stand by is to never let anyone dictate what you write. Criticism has its place, and sometimes that place is in the garbage. If you’re not happy making a change someone asks you to make – or tells you that you “should” make – then you have absolutely no reason to do it. Your vision is yours.

Really, I hate any “tip” that tells you to never do [x]. Only very, very rarely are they actually useful, and what most of them are trying to tell you is to not use [x] until you fully understand how to write without it.

Adverbs, for example. There’s a difference between using adverbs for something like “shouted loudly” and “smiled sadly.” The former is redundant, the second adds character to a scene. Adverbs aren’t evil – but if you don’t know how and where to use them, it makes your writing weaker.

2. What’s your primary concern when starting a new story?

The plot. I’m a terrible outliner, and a lot of my ideas come with only the most basic of arcs before fucking off and leaving me to world-build for the next 6 months and do nothing else.

3. What’s your favorite literary device?

Ooh, tough one. I’m a huge fan of foreshadowing – writing and reading it – but symbolism is so cool too.  And metaphors! Ugh! Too many cool ones, pass.

4. Who is your favorite artist? Have you ever written anything inspired by their art? What was it? If not, would you ever? What would it be?

A FAVORITE ARTIST??? YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT?? ARG that’s so unfair. You’re evil.

Although, I will say my recent art trade with my (very cool) friend @/malikbishtar was EXTREMELY fun!! You can find [my half] here and [their half] here!! That particular trade was fanfic/fanart respectively, and I would 100% be down for doing that again or for an original trade with somebody else!

As for writing something out of the blue based on somebody’s art, no I’ve never done that. I’m very shy about posting my writing online (I always have been), especially unsolicited writing for other people. I’ve certainly been inspired by people’s art, but I’ve never “done” anything about it, if you feel me. Maybe someday!

5. Are there any tourist traps in the world of your WIP? What are they?

YES absolutely. Especially in The God-Dragon’s Wife. Because the population of Syo-Lang (most of it anyway) is so religious and devoted to the God-Dragons, there’s a huge market for touring sacred spaces, cities build elaborate temples in hopes of attracting locals and visitors alike, you’d swear there was a “who can hold the biggest parade in honor of Keungkai” contest when the new year comes around. It gets absolutely crazy.

6. What do you love about your writing style?

I really like my description. As much as I like to complain, I think it’s the strongest part of my prose writing.

7. What do you love about your own personal style?

Over the years, I’ve slowly leaned into the idea that the only person who has to like what I wear is me. So I’ve started wearing more jewelry and crop tops and in general a lot more stuff that shows skin because I feel comfortable in it. And it’s been awesome! I’m having the best time!!

8. In what kind of environment are you happiest?

One that’s quiet and lets me write whenever I want. Also a cat. It should also be raining.

9. How would you write a coffee shop AU of your WIP?

Oh this is the perfect question. The immediate two I have ideas for is TGDW and Dragon Raising, for wildly different reasons.

The God-Dragon’s Wife, obviously, it’s because ~romance~ and I love these two. Xinya is totally an important political person or whatever who comes to this one coffee shop because it’s like 2am because it’s the only place open and she needs a break from paperwork. There’s exactly one (1) other person in the shop that isn’t an employee, and it’s this woman (Yu-Qi) sitting on one of the tables – like on the table, not in a chair – and she says, “the moon told me we’re going to be married one day.” Because it’s 2am and Xinya really does not have the energy for this, she just goes “that’s nice” and continues about her business. Except she is not left to herself for long because moon-lady is insistent on striking up a conversation. Xinya indulges her politely and leaves very fast. But she keeps? Going back? To the coffee shop??? To talk to Yu-Qi???? And doesn’t really get it until it’s too late and she goes oh no. Anyway, someone needs to write that for me once the book is published sdfghjk

For Dragon Raising, I’m just imagining Hayden trying to run a coffee shop while also having to bring his pet dragons to work because he can’t leave them alone in his apartment and it turns out they’re very helpful in the kitchen. A slice-of-life, dragon café story. I’d read it.

10. Sweatpants or leggings? Why?

Depends! I live in Florida, so wearing sweatpants outside is usually a bad idea, but I wear them when I lounge around inside all the time. I prefer leggings when I go out, so I don’t die of heatstroke.

11. What feeds your creative energy?

C O N S U M I N G.

But for real, I get creativity by sucking in media and spitting back out my ideas. Whether that’s a show, a movie, a book, a comic, a game, literally whatever, I get so much inspiration and energy by seeing what others have done and incorporating it into my own works. Even if I dislike it, I can look at whatever made me go sour and think, “Okay, now I know what I won’t do in my next idea.”