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avastrasposts · 6 months

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A Baker's Dozen - Five

Twelve Pedro boys, twelve stand alone short stories, all set in the same bakery.

Hello!

A surprise early drop of part five! I didn't want this gentleman to be lost among the Christmas cheer on Sunday night so please enjoy him a couple of days early.

This man was the one that most intimidated me to write, and I think that's true for most of us. Luckily my dear friend @morallyinept is an expert on the subject of this particular Pedro boy, and beta read it. Thank you so much Jett, your encouragement makes this a lot less scary!

Please say hello to Pedro boy number five...

Series Master List

It’s not the first time you’ve seen him in your bakery. Sometimes, when you have your extra staffer in over the weekend to handle the crowds, you’ve seen him waiting in line. Somehow he always comes in when you’re not at the counter, or dealing with another customer, but when you glance out through the open kitchen door, you spot him. More than once. And he’s always watching you, dark brown eyes, curious, intelligent, carefully watching. It intrigues you, and it scares you.

He’s easy to recognise, the bright blonde patch of hair over his forehead makes him memorable, if nothing else. But the way he stands, the weight of his body on one leg, leaning forward onto it while he tilts his head and observes you through the open door with a wry smirk. It makes you think of a trickster, a smooth talker who will smile and charm you with his words while he tries to sell you real estate on the moon. Your eyes meet and he grins, holding up his hand in a nonchalant greeting. You let your eyes glide over him, ignoring his wave as if you didn’t see him, busy looking for a pan or a bowl.

He comes in the next day again, you catch him from the corner of your eye as he steps up to the counter, just as you come out of the fridge. He doesn’t see you this time you think, so you hurry out of sight and go back to measuring flour into the large mixer. Through the door you can hear him talk to the high schooler you’ve got handling the Saturday afternoon rush.

“Afternoon, may I ask after the proprietor of this fine bakery?” the man says, and his southern accent is eloquent in a way that reminds you of old films, theatrical and exaggerated, you can hear the smirk in his tone. In your mind he sweeps an old fashioned hat off his head and bows like the ringmaster at the circus. It puts your teeth on edge and you hope to escape his attention.

“She’s busy right now but I’ll see if she has time,” your highschooler says and you sigh, waving your hand no when they come into the kitchen

“I’m sorry, she’s right in the middle of something, can I take a message?”

“No bother, I’ll stop by later, I have a proposal to the lady that’s best delivered in person.”

You hear him say goodbye and then the door jingles and the hum of the afternoon rush continues as you turn on the big dough mixer, drowning out all else. You wonder what kind of proposal the man could have for you, his response was almost as if he was preparing a sale. The thought calms you and annoys you a little, dealing with insistent sales people was your least favorite activity as a business owner. There was always someone trying to sell you a new mixer or a new oven. You hope he doesn’t come back, but at least you know how to brush off a sales person if needed.

He doesn’t come back until Tuesday, when you’re alone in the bakery, just before closing. The door jingles and you look up, seeing his smile as he steps across the threshold.

“Afternoon,” he says, coming up to the counter, giving you a gallant nod in greeting, “I was hoping to catch you at a more quiet time, seeing as the end of the day draws near. I hope my interference doesn’t disrupt your day too greatly and cause you disturbance.”

His smile sits fixed on his face, as if rehearsed to look polite and genuine, to sell you something.

It’s hard to press back your customer service persona, so you give him a polite smile, internally you’re gearing up to be courteous but dismissive.

“How can I help you?” you ask, and his smile widens into a grin as he tilts his head to the side and looks at you.

“I’m in the market for a special type of treat, one which I hope you’ll indulge me in making,” he holds out his left hand to you, “I’m Ezra, and I really hope you can help me, miss…?”

You take his hand and awkwardly shake it, ignoring his question, but your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. You’d been so certain he’d try to sell you something, you hadn’t considered that he’d be the one asking you to sell him something special even though special requests weren’t a rare thing.

“If it’s doable and I know how to make it, I’m sure we can come up with something,” you reply and he nods his head.

“Oh, I’ll pay, handsomely, of course,”

“What did you have in mind?” you ask, and his smile stretches even further, making his teeth show, and you balk, a tinge of unease shooting up your spine. In the back of your mind you’re reminded of the poem; ‘Will you walk into my parlour, said a spider to a fly.’ There’s a layer of something underneath that smile that unnerves you.

“A sentimental old favorite of mine, chocolate soufflé,” he says, his eyes suddenly slipping into softness as he seems to look past you, “Light, airy, rich and velvety.”

He waves his hand as if he’s conjuring the dessert out of thin air, a dreamy look on his face that’s quickly replaced by his grin as he turns his attention back to you.

“It’s an arduous dessert to master, only the most skilled bakers can create it. Are you skilled, sugar?”

You give him a scowl, you’ve heard every pet name in the book vaguely related to baking by now and none of them sit well with you.

He catches on to your scowl and chuckles, “Not ‘sugar’ then,” he grins as you put your smallest customer service smile back on.

“I can make soufflé but I won’t be able to sell them here,” you explain, shaking your head. “They’re too delicate and need to be served and eaten straight out of the oven. But I’m sure there’s restaurants who have soufflé on the menu.”

Ezra shakes his head with a rueful look,”I’m afraid I’ve tried that route, but none of the restaurants in town have exactly what I desire on the menu, and they won’t make it as a special order. So my hope lies with you, cookie.”

He chuckles again when he sees the flash of annoyance at the pet name, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his smile suddenly looking genuine, “If you’d told me your name when I introduced myself I would gladly use that instead of causing an umbridge with my embarrassing choices of guesses.”

You ignore his comment about your name, feeling even less inclined to give it to him, and instead you begin wiping down the counter for the end of the day.

“I’m sorry none of the restaurants have it, but I’m afraid I can’t help you, I can’t make the soufflé and then wait for you to come in, it would be flat and dull and I couldn’t sell you that.”

“I’m sure you observed, because I’ve observed you in turn, several times, that I’ve been studying you,” Ezra says, his eyes narrowing as he gives you a charming smile, cocking his head to the side and leaning against the counter on his left side, watching you run the cloth over the display cases.

“You’re the most talented baker I’ve seen in all my travels, all you sell here, you make with your own gifted hands,” he waves his hand around the bakery, “And I’ve sampled many of your delectable delights, nothing rivals what you can bake, cupcake.”

His words make your cheeks heat up against your will as you glare at the pet name and he smiles back at you. .

“It won’t change the physics of the soufflé though,” you point out, “it will still fall flat if it’s out of the oven waiting for the customer.”

“Well, crumpet, I have a remedy for that, I have thought of it all. You make it for me while I wait, right here, after hours,” he says, leaning forward when he sees your doubtful face. He takes the cloth from your hand, stilling your movement as he wraps his fingers around yours, just tight enough for you not to be able to just yank them away. His eyes closer to yours now, imploring you to hear him out, and you don’t fail to note that his expression shifts into something more innocent, his brown eyes wide open, forehead pulled up as he pleads with you

“Please, truly, it may only be a soufflé to you, but it really does mean an awful lot to me, to be able to have this dessert again, to remind me of better days, happier times.”

His fingers squeeze yours gently while he talks, “I lost my arm, a while back now, in a mining accident,” he says, looking down to his right hand side where you only now notice that his jacket sleeve hangs limp, “I used to love to bake, but I can’t anymore, on account of my…condition.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you reply politely and Ezra nods again.

“It’s been a while now, I’m getting used to navigating life without it,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “But I can’t bake, not like I used to, not something that requires two stable hands.”

He lets go of you and stands up, grabbing the empty sleeve of his jacket and lifts it up, “Imagine if this happened to you,” he says, giving the sleeve a frustrated tug as his voice gains an edge of annoyance, “Imagine if you, from one cursed day to the next, not only lost your ability to do your job, but also your ability to perform the most entertaining of tasks.”

You feel your resolve slipping, he’s turned his eyes back on yours and falls silent, for what feels like for the first time since he stepped into the shop. His hand is on the counter between you, open, like he’s waiting for you to take it and shake on your agreement, and his eyes are imploring, his eyebrows raised.

Like this he looks less like a trickster, the facade has slipped a bit, or maybe he’s pulled a new one up, you feel like you can’t be sure. You glance down at his empty sleeve and make up your mind, you’d be devastated if you couldn’t bake again.

“Ok, I’ll make your soufflé, any way you want it,” you say, taking his hand, and Ezra’s face breaks into a wide smile.

“Thank you, bon bon! Your kind gesture makes me most hopeful for the future, there are still good people in this world, prepared to help a poor, armless, man.”

“Enough with the names,” you give him a small scowl, but you can’t help but smile at the same time, his own smiling, face seems genuine, honestly happy for your service.

“Such a sweet baker lady has to have a name that matches the sweetness of her produce, jelly pie,” he chuckles, “I’ll keep trying them out until I find the one that sticks.”

“If I hear one I like I’ll let you know, just don’t hold your breath,” you reply, but you’re smiling at him now and he seems less wiley with the change of his demeanor, more straightforward, as he runs his hand through his hair and grins at you.

“So when do you want to do this? And what kind of chocolate soufflé do you want?” you ask, pulling out your notebook.

“I once went to a small restaurant in France, a tiny little village, somewhere in the mountains north of Cannes,” he says, “and the chef would cover the bottom of the ramekin with caramel, sprinkle it with sal de mer before he poured in the chocolate and then finish with a little bit more just on top.” His hand makes a sprinkling movement over the top of the imaginary soufflé ramekin. “It was inspired, divine,” Ezra smiles at you, an excited gleam in his eyes, that you recognise all too well. “I asked him for the recipe and he was benevolent enough to make a gift of it to me, a small souvenir of a joyous visit and happier times.”

Something in the way he says the last words, a slight slip in the excitement, a flash of something darker across his face, makes you open your mouth. But you close it again as his eyes brighten, the smile comes back up in place and he looks at you.

“I had to translate the recipe into English of course, and now I have it memorized, from all the times I made it myself.”

“Let me make a list then, and I’ll get the ingredients for next week, how about next Tuesday night? Does that work for you?” you ask and Ezra nods.

“Any day would suit me, shortcake,” he grins and you roll your eyes, “But if it’s not too much trouble, I would prefer an earlier day? Maybe tomorrow even? And I’ll help you make it, as long as you have the ingredients?”

You glance over at your calendar, you have nothing planned for tomorrow night and you’ll have time to get the ingredients into your usual weekly order tonight.

“It’ll be tight, but I think I can make it work, if I place the order straight away. Unless there’s something special in the recipe I should have all the ingredients already, eggs, cocoa and chocolate,” you list the items on your fingers, thinking out loud, “oh, I should get some extra cream.”

“This chef used milk instead of cream,” Ezra interjects, “he said it made for a lighter soufflé.”

“Ok, that’s fine, I’ve made them with milk in the past,” you nod, tapping your pen as you think and Ezra studies you, you can feel his eyes on you as his mouth quirks up in a small smile.

“I do enjoy seeing you entranced by baking,” he says, “your attention to detail in the kitchen has kept me captivated while watching you work.”

“I saw you, and I’ve got to say, kinda creepy to be watching people like that,” you reply and his eyebrows immediately pull together in an apologetic frown.

“My apologies, sweet cannoli, but I was truly enwrapped by your work, your skill, I didn’t mean to be unsettling.” He reaches out and puts his hand on yours again, giving it a light squeeze as he leans forward, finding your eyes and searching them to make sure you accept his apology, “I truly am very sorry.”

“It’s fine, just come in and say hello next time,” you reply, “and never call me ‘cannoli’ again.” The last thing you say with a roll of your eyes and Ezra laughs.

“I didn’t think that one would stick, didn’t have much of a ring to it.”

He gives your hand a last squeeze and lets go of it, raising his own in a wave.

“Until tomorrow then, jelly,” he says and you give him a mock scowl that makes him grin wide, “Not ‘jelly’ either then,” he chuckles, “I’ll think of some new ones for tomorrow.”

“No pet names necessary, Ezra,” you tell him, but he shakes his head.

“No, no, you won’t tell me your name, now I make up my own, I will find the perfect one before we’re done. Until tomorrow, muffin.”

“Absolutely not,” you call after him, “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ezra gives you a final grin before he exits and you see him walk off down the street.

He appears again the next day, just before closing like the last time, giving you a polite nod and waiting by the door as you serve your last customer of the day. As the woman leaves, he steps forwards and gives you what feels like a genuine smile, unlike the rehearsed one he’d greeted you with yesterday.

“My sweet cream puff, I have been looking forward to this all day, I’ve been dreaming about finally eating this chocolate soufflé again,” he says, putting his hand on your arm and giving it a light squeeze. His hair looks freshly washed and cut, as does his patchy beard, and he brings a faint smell of cologne into the bakery. With his warm smile and neater appearance, he doesn’t look at all like the unnerving man you’d observed watching you the past few days, and you feel yourself relaxing.

“Cream puff?” you laugh, “Better, but still not acceptable, Ezra.”

“I have all evening to get it right,” he grins and holds up a take out bag, “I thought we could perhaps have dinner and not sustain ourselves only on soufflé, delectable as it may be. If that’s not too forward of me?” He says the last thing with his eyebrows raised in question and you shake your head.

“Not at all, dinner would be nice, I’m getting a little bit hungry already.”

“Then may I suggest dinner first, and then I get to enjoy the evening’s entertainment; watching you make the soufflé?”

“Sounds like a plan, let me get some cutlery and glasses and we can eat out here,” you say. As you walk back into the kitchen, you can’t help but smile to yourself. This strange man is growing on you, his smooth southern drawl makes his flowery language work, and you have to admit, he scrubs up well, with his curls and his bright blonde patch.

When you return with plates and cutlery, Ezra has set the take out on one of the café tables and is struggling with the knot on the plastic bag. You see the annoyance in his face as he tugs at the tight knot, digging his nails into it to get a grip, but failing as the plastic moves under his one hand. The sight fills you with empathy and you’re suddenly very glad you agreed to make him the soufflé.

He hears your footsteps as you approach and he looks up, “It would seem the plastic bag has me beat,” he sighs, “I wanted to have it all laid out for you as you returned, after all, you’re doing all the baking later, the least I could do is lay the table. But not even that is something I can manage these days with…” He jerks his head in annoyance at the empty sleeve of his jacket and sighs.

“It’s no bother,” you say, giving him a warm smile to put him at ease, and it seems to work. He smiles back at you, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners and you notice the dimple in his cheek under the patchy beard as he takes a step to the side, letting you put down the plates and cutlery.

“It’s why I agreed to bake the soufflé for you, I’m more than happy to help.” You untie the bag and lift out the containers as Ezra lays the table, taking meticulous care to line up the plates and the cutlery on either side, finding a few napkins and arranging them too. You go behind the counter to get rid of the bag and when you come back, Ezra has pulled out your chair for you and is waiting behind it with a smile.

“I know this is purely a business transaction, but I have to confess, I’m very happy for the chance to spend an evening in the company of someone who shares my passion for baking”, he says.

“Thank you, Ezra,” you smile as you sit down and he slides the chair in, “I have to admit, I wasn’t sure what you wanted when I first noticed you looking, but this has turned out a lot nicer than just trying to tell another sales rep that I’m not interested in a new oven.”

Ezra has sat down across from you and now he chuckles, “You thought I was going to sell you a new oven?”

“A new oven, a new fridge, new baking pans,” you sigh, “you name it, the sales reps have been in here trying to convince me to throw out my working equipment and spend money I don’t have, on their new shiny product.”

“Well, I’m glad I could surprise you then,” he replies as he begins to open the take out containers, “But I have another confession, I came into your bakery because what you displayed looked incredible, but….” he trails off, glancing up at you with a small smile before he begins scoop rice onto his plate, “I stayed because the woman who runs the bakery is captivating.”

You feel your cheeks heat up as Ezra looks up at you again and he smiles as he sees your reaction.

“And I don’t just mean that you’re beautiful, although that is certainly no exaggeration. But your talent…your talent….” he chuckles as you give him a bashful grin, “Sweet twinkie, you kept me captivated with your skill as I watched you through the kitchen door. You have such passion for this,” he waves his hand towards the bakery’s display cases, “so much creative talent and skill, I just…” he gives a small laugh, his hand rubbing his cheek as he drops his eyes down to his plate again, his usual confident manner suddenly replaced by an uncharacteristic shyness, “I wanted a chance to talk to you, if you’d let me.”

“You’re very sweet, Ezra,” you smile, trying to contain the wide smile that’s threatening to take over your face at his praise.

“It’s only what you deserve,” he says, smiling back at you and handing you one of the take out boxes, “Please, before it gets cold, I’m letting my mouth run away from me as usual.”

It turns out Ezra had chosen a number of dishes from a local Indian restaurant down the street and you both groan as you pick your way through the selection.

“I have to remember this place,” you moan around a mouthful of korma, “it’s incredible.”

Ezra’s mouth is stuffed full with bhaji and he just nods as he chews, a look of bliss on his face as he swallows.

“The man who runs it, I spoke with him, was most courteous. He recommended his favorites from the menu and I must say, he sure does know how to make people want to return.”

“And there will be leftovers for days,” you say, leaning back in your chair, your belly full but there’s still so much food on the table.

“You keep it, my fridge is out of commission at the moment unfortunately,” Ezra says, “you’ll have the most delicious lunch for the next few days.”

“I can’t take all this food from you,” you protest but Ezra just shakes his head.

“I have nowhere to keep it.”

“Then keep it here, and come by and have lunch with me,” you suggest, “we can keep talking about baking and you can spend more time in the bakery, maybe we can figure out some things you can still bake.”

During the course of the meal Ezra had asked you about every aspect of your baking, your process behind the recipes, the techniques you used, the ingredients and where you sourced them. It had been a rare deep dive into your favorite subject with someone who shared your passion for the trade. You felt your attraction for him steadily grow while he leaned his head into his hand and kept his eyes on you as you went into the details of how to grow and maintain a healthy sourdough starter.

“You won’t grow bored of my company, moon pie?” he smiled, “And my increasingly desperate names for you?”

“No, I don’t think I’ll grow bored of you,” you smile back at him, “and your names are getting better.”

He laughs at that and pushes back his chair, “Then let me be a useful guest and clear this for us, and then we can get to the highlight of the evening perhaps?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

You lead him back into the kitchen and the plates and cutlery are soon in your industrial sized dishwasher in the back room. You get the ingredients out onto the workbench as Ezra wanders around the kitchen, looking at your equipment and making approving noises.

“I was never a professional baker like you, but I’m glad to see you favor the same brands for your pans as I do,” he chuckles, “Makes me feel less like a fraud.”

“I’m sure you’re just as good as I am,” you reply, “your skill didn’t disappear with your arm.”

He comes up to stand next to you, and as you look up at him, you see his smile fade as he shakes his head.

“No, but it might as well have, I held my skill in my right hand, my left just isn’t as steady and sometimes you need two hands.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, shaking your head, “I didn’t mean that it would be as easy as before, just that your knowledge of baking is still intact.”

He gives you a small smile, his hand coming up to rest on your shoulder for a brief moment, the warmth of his hand seeping through your t-shirt.

“I know, I just get frustrated as I’m reminded of what I used to be able to do.”

You lightly bump your hip against his and give him a smile, “Well, we’ve got three hands now, and a lot of skill between us, so this will be the best chocolate soufflé ever made.”

Ezra chuckles and smiles too, his hand slipping from your shoulder. But he doesn’t lift it, instead it drifts down to the small of your back and he leaves it there, as you lean over the notes you’ve made for the recipe. It sits comfortably against the cotton, a small, intimate touch that signals something else building between you, or at least you hope it does. Ezra is a lot more fun to have around than what you thought when you first saw him, and you’re glad he’s proving you wrong.

“Alright, I’m putting you on butter duty, I know you can do that one handed,” you say, giving him a wink as you look up at him, you want to involve him in this as much as possible, to make him feel good about baking again.”The ramekins are up on that shelf and the saucepan over there, you know what to do.”

Ezra grins back at you and gives you a sloppy, left handed, salute, “Yes, ma’am, I’m on it.”

While he gets started you set up the double boiler on your stove and start whisking the ingredients together. Ezra comes over with the saucepan and stands next to you while he melts the butter and you set up a third saucepan for the caramel.

“The whisking is the really hard part,” he says as you begin to combine the ingredients, “And even if I use a stand mixer for most things, whisking while it’s over the double boiler proved too hard, the saucepan just slid all over the place.”

“I wonder if there’s a way to maybe keep the saucepan stable?” you think out loud as you continue to stream the cream into the bowl, “Maybe a non-conductive ring, a silicone mold maybe? It wouldn’t heat up on an induction stove, would it?.”

“Maybe, that’s not a bad idea actually…” he says thoughtfully and you smile up at him.

“I can hear the cogs in your head turning, Ezra,” you laugh and he laughs with you.

“Yeah, you got me thinking there, I’ve got silicone oven mitts at home, I need to try with them first and then figure out where to get a ring shaped piece of silicone. But it’s a really good idea, thank you!”

He leans down and gives you a quick kiss on your cheek and it catches you by surprise, looking up at him and he smiles back.

“I apologize, a good deed deserves a nice gesture in return, and your cheeks look very kissable, sweet cheeks.”

He laughs at your exaggerated sigh and eye roll, bumping your hip in return as you’d done to him, “C’mon now, sweet cheeks, as far as pet names go, that one’s pretty good from my perspective.”

“Keep trying, Ezra,” you laugh, you can’t maintain your fake look of exasperation when he’s smiling at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners and looking at you with such a mischievous grin.

“Oh I’ll keep trying, biscuit,” he winks, “I’ll win you over soon enough.”

He steps away to grab a pastry brush, and as you whisk the batter you watch him coat the inside of the ramekins with melted butter. He struggles a bit at first when the first ramekin starts sliding across the workbench, but you quickly grab a kitchen towel, wetting it under the tap before spreading it out on the counter for him to put the ramekins on.

“You’re just full of bright ideas, pumpkin,” he smiles gratefully as you go back to the double boiler.

“I have my moments,” you chuckle and you feel his eyes on you as you continue to whisk the batter.

“You have more than a few moments, I think you have everything,” he says after a little while, his voice low and sincere. It’s ladened with something deeper and it makes you take your eyes off the batter and look up at him. He’s looking back at you, smiling, but there’s another layer to his eyes, like he’s smiling through a memory. A strange mix of regret and sadness flashes across his face, gone, as quickly as it appeared, and his smile grows wider, you realize it’s not reaching his eyes this time. But as you open your mouth to say something, he speaks first, turning back to the ramekins.

“What’s the next step, boss?” he asks, his voice back to the same cheerful tone he had just a few moments ago, and you’re certain you can see the mask come up this time. But you don’t challenge him, he’s hiding something, or at least there’s something he doesn’t want to share. So you consult your notes and point him to the egg whites.

“Use the Husqvarna and make the meringue while I chop the chocolate.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies and gets to work, the whisking made easy this time with the help of the mixer.

You continue preparing the chocolate batter and when Ezra is done with the meringue, you fold it into the airy egg whites, bringing them together into a light fluffy mixture. Ezra watches you as you drizzle a layer of caramel into the ramekins he’s prepared, leaving him to sprinkle a few flakes of sea salt before you scoop the soufflé batter on top, finishing with him sprinkling another few flakes on the chocolate.

“Done,” you say, "we make a good team, Ezra.”

“We do, and you’ve made this one handed fool very happy, letting him finally get to taste these soufflés again,” he says as you laugh and shake your head.

“No early victories, please! We still have to bake them and you know how fickle soufflés are.” You take the oven tray you’ve placed the ramekins on and carefully move them into the oven, turning down the heat.

“With this team?” Ezra chuckles, “I have all the faith in the world, cherry pie.”

“Better,” you smile at him as you watch him wipe down the workbench and then turn to jump up to sit on it.

“Better?” His eyebrows quirk up as he grins and holds out his hand for you, “Am I getting warm with my names?”

You jump up on the workbench and sit next to him, shaking your head, “No, I just find the man using them more agreeable.”

Ezra smiles, his dark eyes glinting as he turns to you, “You didn’t find me agreeable when I first arrived at your bakery?”

“Not…un-agreeable,” you say, thinking out loud and studying his face, the bright blonde patch of hair over his forehead curling with the heat in the kitchen, as are the unruly strands of hair around his neck, patchy beard over his jaw and cheeks, his mouth twitching up in a smile as he waits for you to continue.

“Just…hard for me to place? What you wanted. And why you were always looking at me,” you say and Ezra’s smile softens.

“I looked, because you’re beautiful.”

He says it so simply, no flourish, no fanfare or exaggeration. Just a statement as he keeps his eyes locked on yours, no smile, no grin, just his face, quietly scanning yours for a reaction.

You lift your hand and lightly touch his cheek, fingertips tracing his jaw, the short hairs of his beard, tickling under your caress as he slowly exhales.

He leans his face into your palm, your thumb soothing over the lines at the corners of his eyes as they close, and he lets a small sigh slip out, his warm breath tickling your wrist. Your thumb caresses his cheek while you study his face, the dark eyelashes casting shadows and his features soft, relaxed in a way you haven’t seen since he first showed up. He looks younger as you gently explore his lines with your fingertips and let them melt into softness under your touch.

A quiet hum escapes him as he tilts his head and lets your hand slip over his jaw and back to his neck. The curls are soft, wayward, and wrap easily around your fingers as you lean forward. The plush swell of his bottom lip is irresistible and you press your mouth carefully against it.

Ezra’s eyes fly open as your lips meet, his eyes dark and smiling. His hand comes up and gently mirrors your own, cupping your cheek as he presses his lips against yours in return. As you close your eyes, you feel his warm palm hold you steady and you part your lips, the tip of his tongue meeting yours, tasting him. His touch is soft, both his hand and his lips, making warmth spread through your body as he pulls you closer.

He kisses you like he’s trying to learn how to read you, studying your reaction to how his lips mold against yours as he tastes your tongue under his. Each moan he pulls from you makes him come back to pull it from you again, running his tongue over the same spot, nipping on your bottom lip with a gentle tug. You realize you started the kissing, but Ezra quickly takes control, his hand cupping your cheek, keeping you steady as your own hands caress his back, feeling the bunched muscles under his thin shirt, the warmth of his body heating your palms. You can feel his heartbeat against you, your own pulse thrumming under his fingertips as he pulls another moan from you when his hand slips into your hair.

He groans into your mouth and scoots off the workbench, pulling you with him so that he gains extra height on you. The change in angle lets him wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you in closer, pressing his lips to yours as your hands slide down his back, dipping into the waistband of his pants, finding the warm skin just under the edge.

With a groan, he pulls back, his hand still curled around the back of your neck, your arms still around his waist. You look up at him but his eyes are closed and he leans down, letting his nose run along yours, caressing your cheek, down your jaw, breathing hot over your skin, while he nuzzles your neck, inhaling deeply.

“Like chocolate,” he mutters, “and caramel. What I wouldn’t give…”

He falls silent, his lips pressing against your neck in a searing kiss that makes heat rush through your body, before he pulls back and stands up.

“I’d tell you your kisses are the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted in this bakery, but I don’t think even I could get away with that comment,” he smiles and you roll your eyes with a giggle.

“Not even you, Ezra,” you say, “although I’d say it’s a nice effort and that your kisses are just as sweet.”

“We make a good team,” he smiles, letting his thumb caress your cheek again as you nod. His eyes are still on you and you feel him studying you again, but it doesn’t feel awkward this time, just…breathtaking. Your breath hitches as his eyes slip over your lips, his thoughts clear on his face as the tip of his tongue peaks out. He’s the one who leans in this time, watching you close your eyes as he presses a gentle kiss to your lips, his thumb and finger catching your chin. When he pulls away a fraction, you open your eyes again and he’s smiling at you. The oven timer is beeping in the background and you hadn’t even noticed, his soft lips distracting you both from the insistent sound.

“I’ll get the timer, you get the soufflés,” he whispers and you nod slowly as he smiles and presses another soft kiss to your lips.

“Now, my sweet cherry pie, or we’ll have a very flat dessert.”

You smile back at him and grab the oven mitts and follow him to the oven.

This next step is crucial, carefully you open the door and slide out the tray. They’ve risen perfectly but as soon as they’re out of the oven they start cooling down and soon they’ll sink. You set the tray down on the workbench and Ezra brings over two dessert spoons. His face is beaming at the sight of the soufflés, sniffing as the warm chocolate scent fills the kitchen.

“They smell even better than the ones I made,” he grins as you slide a ramekin over to him.

“A team effort, Ezra,” you smile, “your recipe, our skill.”

“Your hands, luckily,” he replies, holding up his first spoonful of soufflé as if he’s toasting you, and you clink your spoon against his before you both have your first taste.

The flavor is rich in your mouth but the texture is light and airy, a small hint of sal de mer hitting your tongue as you hum around the taste. Ezra’s eyes are closed, his head tilted back as he sucks on the spoon, a low rumble coming from his chest as he savors the chocolate.

“My sweet soufflé,” he smiles, looking down at you through half closed eyelids, “this…this…is heaven.”

He digs his spoon in, and gets some of the caramel too, taking another mouthful as he groans again. You copy him and make sure to get both caramel and soufflé on your spoon for your next bite, and Ezra was right, the combination is flawless. You sigh around your spoon, slowly sucking the caramel off it as the chocolate melts in your mouth. Ezra is watching you with dark eyes and a small smile, his own spoon forgotten in his hand.

“I’d bake for you every day, no matter how much I’d struggle, if I could hear you make that sound again,” he says and it makes you laugh, giggling as he grins. He takes another spoonful of soufflé, smiling as he eats it, some of it catching on his mustache and you point at it.

“You got some chocolate on your beard there.”

Ezra removes the spoon from his mouth and gives you a sly smirk, “I’m sure I won’t be able to reach it with my tongue, why don’t you help me?”.

The tone of his voice, the mischief it promises, makes hot energy shoot through your nerves, your skin tingling as you put down your spoon and step closer to him. He’s looking down at you, his eyes full of mirth as you take his chin between your thumb and finger, tilting his head down towards you. He comes willingly, a small smile still lingering, and he’s so close, his hand finding its way to your waist.

“Can you reach it,” he asks in a low voice and you nod, locking eyes with him. They’re the same rich brown as the soufflé, just as warm and soft right now, as you lean in and run your tongue over the corner of his mouth, finding the errant smudge of chocolate. Catching the edge of his mouth between your lips, you lap at the sweet taste. His hand bunches up your shirt and as you run your tongue over the seam of his mouth, he parts it easily, letting you in. He tastes of the dessert and you know he can taste the same on you.

“I think you got it,” he mumbles, grinning, against your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer.

“I need to make absolutely sure, can’t let you leave with chocolate all over your mouth,” you smile between kisses.

“You take such good care of me, honey.”

“That one’s a winner, Ezra,” you mumble, I’ll keep that one.”

He chuckles, his lips pulling up in a grin under yours as he kisses you again, “But it’s too ordinary, for such an extraordinary woman.”

“I like it, especially when it comes from you, you’re extraordinary enough for the both of us.”

Ezra tugs you closer, making you sigh into him as he buries his face against your neck, pressing a kiss against the soft skin before he rests his head on your shoulder.

“What am I going to do with you,” he says, more a statement than a question, his hand caressing your back, sliding up into your hair, cupping around your neck, “What am I going to do with myself.”

He slowly begins to sway, moving you back and forth in a slow dance without music.

“I need to leave soon, but I don’t want to,” he mumbles, gently spinning you around as you let your hand rest on his shoulder, the one missing his arm, “I have to leave this warm kitchen, your tender kisses, this sweet nest you’ve built for us.”

He spins you again, moving your body slowly with his own.

“This home you’ve created for someone like me.”

Before you can ask what he means he steps back, taking your hand in his, and with a flourish and bow, he kisses the back of it, making you smile.

“I am afraid, my sweet baker girl, that it is time for my departure, I will steal no more hours from you,” he says, letting go of your hand and taking his coat from the hook by the kitchen door, shrugging it back on, the empty sleeve hanging limp by his side. The other arm he hooks around your waist and leads you back out to the shop, towards the door.

“Ezra, it’s pouring outside,” you say, seeing the rain slick street outside, the asphalt shining black under the streetlights, “Let me at least give you a lift home, you’ll get soaked. Where do you live?”

“No, it’s no trouble, honey pie, my car is parked just a block away. And unlike you, my sweet thing, I am not made of sugar, a little rain won’t melt me,” he grins.

A twinge of regret hits your heart as you see the mask so clearly come up over his face again, the dark eyes shifting into something less open, the softness fading away even as he smiles at you.

“Do you have to leave?” you ask as he opens the door, and he turns, resting his back against the frame of the door.

“The illusion has to break,” he says softly, raising his hand and running the back of it over your cheek, giving you a small wink, but the mischief doesn’t reach his eyes this time.

“What does that mean, Ezra?” you ask but he just shakes his head, leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours.

“Take care of my soufflé recipe, sweet girl,” he mumbles, pulling back and giving you a crooked smile. Then he turns and hurries across the street, the rain splashing around his shoes as he pulls his collar up and disappears into the darkness between the streetlights.

…

The bell of the front door jingles just as you’re sweeping the floor, and as you look up, you spot Barbara from the dry cleaner across the street stepping into the shop.

“Hi, you’re still open this late?” she asks, shaking out her platinum blonde box dye curls and you internally sigh, Barbara is the neighborhood chatterbox and you just want to go home, it’s been a long day. But you put on a smile and continue sweeping.

“I’m just getting ready to leave, what’s up?”

“I meant to come earlier but I’ve been so busy. I just wanted to warn you in case he comes by here too,” she says, eyes scanning your bakery as if she’s looking for someone.

“Who?” you ask and she turns back to you.

“There’s a man, you’ve probably seen him, shifty looking guy, he only has one arm, and a weird blonde patch in his hair. He’s been around to all the shops in this neighborhood. I saw him outside your place earlier today.”

“What about him?” you ask, keeping your voice neutral as you duck down and wipe a shelf that’s already been cleaned, hiding your face.

“He’s been conning business into giving him free stuff all week, food, clothes, shoes,” Barbara says, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the very nerve of asking for something for free. “Mr. Mason even gave him a haircut and trimmed his beard, how he dared to do that I don’t even know. I wouldn’t even let him into the dry cleaners, you can’t trust people like that.”

You’re listening, your hand cleaning the same spot over and over as lead settles in your stomach.

“H-how do you know that?” you ask, moving to the coffee machine, rubbing it down with your back to her.

“Mrs. Levinson told me that Fanny, you know Fanny, in the flower shop?”

“Yeah, I know here, what did she say?” you ask impatiently, yanking at the milk nozzle, and you hear Barbara scoff behind you.

“Well, apparently, this man, he told Mr. Olson at the hardware store, that he lost his arm in a construction accident, but Mrs.Saqib’s husband works at the hospital and he said this guy came in last year with a gunshot wound, all infected and nasty. And that’s how he lost his arm,” she snorts, cackling to herself.

You continue to clean the machine, the heavy weight in your stomach turning to nausea, trying to keep your breathing steady as Ezra’s warm smile floats up inside your mind.

“He told the police he got shot at a poker game and it was an accident but I reckon he’s lying,” Barbara continues, “men like that, you never know what they get up to, a real nasty piece of work I think.”

“Thanks Barbara,” you snap, “I really need to close up and get home, thanks for telling me, I’ll be careful if I see him.”

You usher her to the door as she huffs at the abrupt interruption to her gossip session but you can’t get her out fast enough, slamming the door harder than necessary and giving her a strained smile through the window as she waves.

You hurry back to the kitchen, the ramekins still on the workbench and Ezra’s spoon next to them, just where he’d put it before he kissed you no more than a little while ago. You can’t even look at it, pulling your coat off the hook, you rush out through the back door and into the rain.

Early next morning, long before the rest of the world is awake, you’re back at the bakery after a sleepless night. No matter how little rest you got, the bakery has to open, and for it to open, you need to bake. Familiar motions of the early hours, a chance to stop your mind from spinning, it feels like a small relief today. The thoughts of Ezra in your tired mind won’t let your head relax and as you walk up to the back steps you almost miss the envelope pushed under the door.

You unlock the door and slip out the note inside while you step inside. The piece of paper is folded in an uneven line and as you smooth it out you see the unsteady handwriting of someone who’s writing with the wrong hand.

I know what they say about me, the gossip, the rumors, and I confess, most of it is true. I’m sorry. I wish I was a different man, I wish I could offer you something, anything, but I have nothing to give to anyone.

I did tell you the truth in the end though. You captivate me. You will always be my most cherished memory. That will always be true.

Always yours,

Ezra

Part Six

Two links this time, one to the NYT recipe and one to the wonderful Claire Saffitz's making the souffles if you want to attempt them yourselves. I've added the caramel and sea salt though, as an extra layer of Ezra ☺

youtube

Tag list: @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent @sheepdogchick3 @readingiskeepingmegoing @noisynightmarepoetry @survivingandenduring @vabeachazn @amyispxnk @oberynslady @vabeachazn

#Youtube

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saspieee · 10 months

Text

(2023) I created "Hadez" 's characters in 2005 with another person who was a very close friend of mine. We developed the characters a lot since we loved them so much. In 2008 we entered the old Kodansha's Morning International manga competition (do any of you guys remember it?) with a short story based on our characters, ending up among the first 24 finalists of that edition of the contest! It was a great surprise, I was so young and I thought my adventure with these characters was going to end with that contest... but it wasn't!

(above) two pages from 2006 drawn by me and colored by S.T. (below) a page from the MIMC version colored by S.T.

In 2012 I proposed my collaborator to start a webcomic with the characters and so we did, we also printed the first self-published version in 2013 but then an italian publisher (Edizioni Dentiblù) proposed us to publish the comic with them. That version came out in 2015. "Hadez" became a comic trilogy despite the fact it wasn't what I wanted for the series...my dreams were greater lol :P I wanted it to be a series, but it wasn't possible at that time. Not for me, not in Italy. And "Hadez" has never been translated in other languages anyway.

Hadez's version from 2015 published by Edizioni Dentiblù I had a very hard time with this project at the end: the story is not what I wanted it to be and now even the drawings look so stiff to me...I mean, I guess it's normal after all? Also my life was a huge mess at that time. Anyway I'm now alone with these characters, my collaborator is not into comics anymore and we made a deal. I'm so happy I was able to make peace with my favorite characters after difficult times I had in the process of the comic. I'm finally free to love them again and try to do my best with them. I hope I'll be able to give this project and its characters what they deserve.

#hadez #hadezcomic #original #storytime #journal

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panda-writes-kpop · 4 months

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the dreadful need in the devotee ~ lee gahyeon

a/n: sorry for all my international folks, I know I'm late (curse you comp sci homework for taking hours to complete) but happy Gahyeon day!! here's your daily dose of existensial dread and sadness in case you haven't felt that way recently :] (all jokes, but apparently I was in my feels when I wrote this)

tw: fluff to sadness, main character death, car accident, some religious elements, we almost got a happy ending folks

acknowledgements: inspired by hozier's talk and the pjo series on Disney plus!

word count: 2.8k

summary: a recollection of the five times you couldn't look at Gahyeon and the one time you did, but it's staged during a modern retelling of one of my favorite greek myths of all time (5+1 trope my beloved <3)

♡ Masterlist ♡

As the burning taste of alcohol travels down your throat, you think about why you’re here on a Wednesday night.

Here wasn’t home, the place you most often were found. Home was your paradise, your inspiration for your work - but you had been in a rut lately. Nothing seemed to spark your creativity, not even a hot drink and a warm bath would do.

So you wandered down the street, hoping to find something that would make you and your work feel alive again. Instead, the couples you passed on the street only chose to dig at a wound that you had covered with the patchwork of self-isolation.

Since tonight was an utter failure, much like most nights this month, you turned to the one thing that made everything a little better - booze. A drink sounded nice, especially as the last couple you passed discussed their wedding and future together.

You slid into the first bar that you found that was not too far from your apartment. Five blocks was a new record for you, considering that every store you needed was only two or three blocks from your apartment. Maybe you’d print out a certificate so you’d have some marker of success to hang on your wall.

World’s Most Introverted Person Travels Two Blocks Farther Than Usual!

You need another hobby besides drinking and bad jokes.

You’d turn to art, but blank pages and screens peek out at you from every corner of your apartment. That wasn’t an option, and you had already used all your daily wanderlust to find a bar, so drinking would have to do.

It wasn’t like the bar was busy or anything - weeknight traffic was slow, especially on Wednesday. You were sitting at the bar, making occasional idle chatter with the bartender and another patron who seemed to be in a worse state of despair than you.

You were fine in your bubble, and it wasn’t like anything would pop it any time soon-

Then you see her.

Your eyes landed on a group of girls sitting in a corner, but the girl that draws your attention is everything you had imagined and so much more. With bright pink hair, it was impossible to see anything but here.

She was a beautiful white lily among the tall grass, a sweet melody floated over syncopated beats. She was the sun, and you were a comet that was about to crash into her orbit. She was everything, and you were nothing.

…And she was looking right at you.

Fuuuuuck.

You immediately look away when she bounces up to you - she’s probably going to talk to that other person, right?

You couldn’t look her in the eyes, even when she, in all of her beautiful glory, was right in front of you.

“Do you want to join us for drinks?” Her eyes are inviting as she holds her hand out to you.

You try to find a reason to say no, but she sparks something within you. Something warm and kind, buried under the safety blanket that you wrapped your heart in.

She wasn’t your inspiration, not yet, at least. A muse, perhaps?

Whatever divine intervention brought you together was well needed.

Even though you couldn’t look her in the eyes until you were both drunk enough to forget everything but each other.

Gahyeon, her name was.

Even though the headache fucking sucked (but was so worth it, considering the extra phone number in your contacts), things started to look up for you. You could actually produce art, which meant that you could pay your landlord on time.

Your apartment was a mess while you were in a funk - a proper decluttering was in order. If you weren’t inspired to do art, you definitely weren’t inspired to do household chores. You shudder as your mother’s voice reprimands you about keeping your place tidy.

Perhaps sending proof of life would get her voice out of your head. Yet again, she’d probably call you and then want to visit, which would make things worse.

Suddenly, doing the dishes instead of mentally stalling doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Tedious doesn’t begin to cover your feelings towards the stacks upon stacks on dishes, which hadn’t grown mold or attracted flies, thank god. You decide to set your phone aside (you’d checked it three times since you decided to do the dishes, maybe you need to get a safe to throw it into) before filling the sink with water.

As you add soap to the water, your phone chimes. You shut off the water, as flooding your apartment would be worse than cold water, you reason.

You were sober enough to put Gahyeon’s name in your phone, but your capitalization skills were a bit… questionable.

gAhyEOn: hey u up?

some friends and I went drinking last night, and I need a pick-me-up.

you wanna go for coffee?

Coffee? As in a coffee date? As in you’ll be face-to-face with Gahyeon alone, after you probably made a fool of yourself a few nights ago?

Well, you don’t remember much about that night, do you?

God damn you, vodka, you taste good in too many mixed drinks.

You quickly respond with a ‘Sure! What time?’ after contemplating what to say for an uncomfortable amount of time.

gAhyEOn: Does thirty minutes work for you?

I’ll send you the address, see if you can make it there in time.

Your phone buzzes, and afterwards, you plug the address into Google Maps - it’s only a block farther than the bar you met Gahyeon in. If you quickly scrubbed a few dishes and put proper clothes on (the Pokemon pajamas were cute but not ideal for a “first date”), you could make it there in thirty minutes if you run-walked.

You send her a confirmation text, telling her that the time and place will work. You manage to finish a quarter of the dishes (you’ll totally finish the rest of the dishes instead of continuing your latest masterpiece) before throwing on a comfortable outfit that’s perfect for a first date. You grab your wallet and phone before heading out of your apartment.

The walk to the cafe takes a lot less time than you had considered, but that was probably because you were going through a hundred and one different ways that you could make a fool of yourself.

Although you nearly ran headfirst into a pole when you saw Gahyeon waving at you in the distance, you had made it to the café.

Even if you were a bit too embarrassed to look her in the eyes, a bit sweaty from run-walking here, especially after she told you off for being late.

“You’re five minutes late. I thought I told you thirty minutes, not thirty-five-”

“In my defense,” You raise your hands in the air, “I’m worse at directions when I’m sober.”

“If you buy me coffee, I may forgive you.”

“Let’s test that theory, huh?” You open the door for her as she gracefully smiles.

You let out a nervous sigh before closing the door behind you. You’ve got this, right?

Maybe the gods would push some luck in your favor.

Gahyeon didn’t think you were a total loser, so that was a plus.

She even agreed to a proper first date, and then a second, next a third, and you’d somehow convinced her to become your girlfriend… which meant that she would be moving in with you since you’d been dating for a year and a half.

Time flies.

“Can you help me with these boxes, babe?”

After shoving more of your supplies (holy fuck how much shit did you own) into a spare closet, you join Gahyeon at the door to receive the box that she had in her hands.

“I got it,” You say before immediately swearing after the box rests in your arms, “what did you put in here, a bowling ball?”

“Three, actually,” Gahyeon offers a sweet smile as you shake your head, “it’s just the first box of my clothes. You can set it in the bedroom, if you would.”

“The things I do for you.” You scoff before shifting the weight in the box (seriously, what was in here?).

You take a few steps forward as Gahyeon wanders around your apartment. She peeks into the room you just left before letting out a gasp.

“You didn’t move your work so I could have more space, did you?”

You pause, not turning to meet her eye, as she accusingly charges toward you.

“Yah, babe, I told you to leave that stuff there! You know how much I love seeing your work.”

You hightail it to the bedroom before she tackles you into a warm hug. You both dissolve into giggles, heavy boxes and caring anger set aside, as you enjoy her presence.

“I love you.” She whispers before kissing your lips.

You wonder what god of love was paid off in order to match you and Gahyeon, but you didn’t care. Everything worked, you two worked, and your work spoke for itself.

That’s all you ever needed.

A wedding ring was the other thing you needed.

You had fiddled with the ring for ages, wondering when would be the right time to propose.

Gahyeon deserved the best, after all.

So you just asked her one day, when the moment was right.

And she said yes before bursting out into tears. You were quick to comfort her, of course, but you felt like you had ascended to another plane of reality.

Finally, everything made sense.

Your creative energy was at a high, so you were producing plenty of work. You were ahead on rent, enough so that you could save up for a house and a wedding, eventually.

Gahyeon stood in the kitchen, admiring the ring on her left hand, as you wrapped your arm around her waist.

“The ring’s pretty.” She says absentmindedly as you squeeze your arms, which makes her laugh. “What’s up?”

“I got bored. Something told me to go out here and check up on you.” You give a small shrug before kissing her cheek. “What are you up to?”

“I’m going to head to the store by my old place to pick up a few things. Do you want anything?”

For some reason, your stomach sinks. But why, you wonder? She made this trip often, what was so awful about it now?

“Are you sure you don’t want to go down the street, to the convenience store?” You try to convince her as she shakes her head and manages to escape your grasp.

“I’ll be fine, babe,” She turns to give you a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing the car keys on the table, “are you worried about me?”

“Maybe.” You give a noncommittal answer before checking the clock. “Be home for dinner!”

“I will, I promise.” She walks away and grabs the doorknob before turning back to you. “Hey!”

“Hey what?”

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Gahyeon winks at you as you look away in embarrassment.

It’s crazy that she still has this effect on you, years later.

She laughs before shutting the door as you stare at the front door to your apartment like a lovesick golden retriever waiting for their human to return.

You couldn’t wait for her to return back into your arms, so you could make dinner and spend the rest of your night together.

Four hours.

It had been four hours since Gahyeon left.

Should you be worried?

She would’ve texted, called, told you if she would’ve been late. Gahyeon expected the same of you, even though you weren’t the most prompt person at times.

You should stop pacing before you have to add carpet replacement to your laundry list of things to buy. The sun had gone down, but that meant that traffic must’ve been heavy, right?

You need to take a walk before you worry yourself into an early grave.

You grab a light jacket before exiting your apartment. Taking a walk around the block has always helped clear your mind, but your heart pangs with a new hurt as Gahyeon always liked to go on walks with you.

She was fine, she had to be fine.

You round the corner, only to want to immediately retreat back into your home.

A car accident.

The worst part?

Gahyeon’s car was among the wreckage.

Police officers pushed the surrounding crowd back, and you scream when you see an EMT pick a bloody ring out from among the wreckage.

Not just any ring.

Her ring.

You can’t look anymore.

You hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks.

You hadn’t created anything since the day she died.

Three weeks.

Twenty-one days.

Five-hundred and four hours.

Thirty-thousand, two-hundred forty minutes.

You can’t breathe, can’t think.

You need to open a window.

The light casts a gentle glow over your apartment.

It’s a wreck. You’re a wreck.

How fitting.

Your phone rings. It’s probably your mother, asking why you didn’t come to Sunday dinner for the third time in a row.

You can’t tell her about Gahyeon, you could barely face her parents and tell them what happened. You were choked up then, and you hadn’t felt much better since.

Your heart had been ripped from your chest.

You pick up your phone anyway.

“Do you want to see her again?” A deep male voice echoes from your phone speaker as you sigh.

“You have the wrong number. Have a good day.” You say with no emotion as the voice quickly replies.

“It’s Gahyeon. I have Gahyeon.”

“Who are you? Where is she?”

“Go to the bar where you first met. I’ll meet you there and take you to her.”

“Hold on, how do I know you’re not-”

You pause as you hear the other line beep repeatedly.

He hung up on me. What a dick.

“What do you want?” You gruffly ask as you slide into a booth opposite a man dressed in an all-black suit.

He fixes his silver locks for a moment before looking you up and down.

“You want the girl back?”

“Gahyeon,” You correct, “and I want her here as much as her family does.”

“Would you do anything for her?”

“Yes.” You answer immediately as the man smiles.

“Good, good.” He snaps his fingers as the scenery around you changes.

You’re forced on your feet as the booth disappears behind you.

“What the fuck-” You look at the walls, which expand in every direction and then disappear behind walls of fire and stone.

The man walks forward as a set of stairs appears before him.

“Who are you?” You ask as the ground underneath you begins to shift.

“Death, not the devil.” He answers after sitting down on a throne made of fire and magma. “I have a proposition for you, since your love for Gahyeon has moved my wife. I’m feeling rather…. generous, shall we say?”

“What’s the catch?”

“You have to take the long way out, with you leading and her behind. You can’t look back to see if she’s there, you have to trust yourself and trust her. Understood?”

“I-” You pause while weighing your options.

Could you lead her out of Hell? A dangerous adventure, sure, but it would be worth it to bring her home.

“I accept.”

Death snaps his finger before a door to your left appears.

“Walk through that door and begin your journey.”

You place your hand on the door before looking back at him.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me until you get to the other side.”

You didn’t expect walking through hell to be a cake walk, but you were absolutely exhausted.

Who knows if death himself didn’t trick you in the first place?

You couldn’t look to see if Gahyeon was behind you, and you couldn’t hear her speaking as well.

You just had to trust yourself and trust her.

You trusted Gahyeon, of course you did, but did you trust yourself enough that you wouldn’t have been fooled?

Everyone in hell is looking at you as you climb up towards the exit.

You can do this. You should do this.

Is she really behind me?

You should keep going. You have to keep going.

Your footsteps begin to slow as your breath becomes ragged. You were tired, but you were almost there.

You see the light, see everything that you would have again.

You reach out to embrace the light, you’re almost there.

Is she there?

Gahyeon gasps as your eyes connect with hers.

“You… were there.”

“I always was.” She softly answers before backing up towards the darkness.

“I made a mistake.” You try to reach out and grab her, but she’s fading away from you.

“I know.”

“I love you.” A tear falls from your eye as she disappears into nothingness.

“I know.”

Just like that, she was gone, and you were alone.

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sokkastyles · 2 months

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Hi, I really like your blog and your metas; they're so well-worded. One of my favorite ones is this one, talking about Zuko and his privileges vs how he's victimized by the Fire Nation. I have one question, though. Do you think that Mai, also, in the Boiling Rock Prison arc, treated Zuko as a race traitor? Her reunion with Zuko and some things that she said rubbed me the wrong way. And if you could, would you mind expanding a little bit on how Zuko is treated as a race traitor by Fire Nation characters?

Zuko is actually treated as a potential race traitor from the beginning of the series, even when he's loyal to the Fire Nation and desperate to restore his honor according to their values. We see this as early as episode three in book one. And I believe that in the meta you mention, I also spoke about how that's tied in with his abuse, both on a political and personal level.

Because the thing about fascism (and yeah, we could argue whether the Fire Nation is truly a fascist nation because the writers used a conglomeration of tropes and real world influences for their fantasy world, but they definitely draw on fascist imagery heavily for their Fire Nation influences, so it still is present in the narrative) is that it's dehumanizing, and everyone is a potential traitor to the regime. It's where the idea of "thought crime" comes from.

We see this as early as the third episode of the series, when Zuko encounters Zhao, who treats him like a potential enemy even before learning that Zuko has been keeping the Avatar's discovery from him. Some of this is Zuko's backstory. Zhao looks down on Zuko because he knows the story of his disgrace and banishment, and this is used both to downgrade Zuko and to keep him loyal to the regime. It's similar to how Ozai treated him, both giving him a sense of what he is "owed," the greatness he can hope to achieve by remaining loyal, while also feeding the idea that he has to constantly make up for his own shortcomings. It's an entirely manipulative social order, like a cult but on a wider scale.

Under that system, questioning the regime gets you labeled as a potential traitor. Even though Zuko was acting in advance of the regime by keeping the secret of the Avatar's return so that he can capture Aang himself, he acted as an individual, and that's dangerous to the group think.

As for Mai, we see her act similarly towards Zuko from the moment they are together in book three. Her reaction to hearing him voice his concerns about going back home is to sarcastically tell him that he should not be worrying. On some level, I think Mai's emotionally closed-off personality is part of the reason she can't handle Zuko's uncomfortable emotional reaction. But she's also a product of the same regime, where questioning things is frowned upon.

Think of the way Zhao and Azula react to Zuko. Both mention his banishment, Zhao to emphasize his dishonor, and Azula to imply that he's become "uncivilized" due to living in exile for three years. Mai expresses similar prejudices towards people living outside the Fire Nation in her comments on the people of Omashu and the comic that takes place before the beginning of book three where she criticizes the food in Ba Sing Se, in front of Zuko who has actually been living there while in exile. So I think Mai is, on one level, very uninterested in any aspect of Zuko's life outside of the Fire Nation, and may subconsciously look down on Zuko because of it, the way she looks down on the people of the earth kingdom that Zuko has lived among, the way she looks down on servants (which Zuko is shown to be uncomfortable with).

Another part goes back to what I said about not questioning the regime. Zuko expressing doubts about going home challenges the very idea of Fire Nation superiority. Mai can't understand why Zuko wouldn't want to go home or why he would have doubts.

On another level, though, expressing doubt is literally dangerous, and Mai knows what happened to Zuko the first time he openly questioned the regime. On some level, she might associate Zuko worrying with him not being safe. The reality is that he is not safe either way, which is exactly why he should be worrying.

So Mai probably had those thoughts about Zuko even before he outright became a traitor. This is actually one of the ways fascism encourages people to turn against each other. If nobody is an individual, then individuals cannot be trusted.

All this is backdrop to Mai outright telling Zuko that he's betraying his country in "The Boiling Rock." And in between Zuko leaving and their reunion, there was also a propaganda play publicized that portrayed Zuko as not only a political traitor, but his romantic interest in Katara in the play is used to make him look like a joke, using racist tropes like the pale skinned man being "dominated" by a seductive, aggressive dark-skinned woman, and deferring to a man (Aang) who is considered to be from a "lesser" race. The gay jokes about Aang and Zuko are also typical of that sort of attempt to paint someone considered a race traitor as sexually deviant.

(You know what would be interesting to think about? If Mai saw that play. Did it fuel her feelings that Zuko had betrayed her, personally?)

What I think is actually pretty surprising is Zuko's ability to distinguish that no, I'm not betraying my country, I'm saving it, which is what he tells Mai. That idea doesn't seem to have originated anywhere else. Zuko could have just washed his hands of the Fire Nation altogether and embraced an identity as an expat, but he doesn't. Because he's always been someone who cared about his country.

#zuko #antimaiko

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miss0atae · 3 months

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Random thoughts about Dead Friend Forever the series episode 10 :

I finally could watch the latest episode and it was great as always. I’m truly enjoying every moments. You never get bored and they always manage to grab your attention so you’ll want to see the next episode.

▪️ Phee finally revealed the truth to Jin about everything he planned with Tan/New when joining the group. It seems Phee is not on board anymore with whatever Tan/New wants to do to know what happens to his brother if the results is more death. Phee always had this guilt about Non and he wanted to have answer but he draws the line at killing others to know it. I understand why. They have different motives in this quest. I would also said how his feelings for Jin made him rethink his “partnership” with Tan/New. Now, he wants to put an end to Tan/New’s schemes before it gets to crazy. I do agree with @mikuni14 about how it makes sense they forgave each other. We have to see them as a pair now. Phee said again how he will protect Jin and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. Now they admitted they had feelings for each other, so they will try to get out together or they would die together. I don’t think, it would be another way for them in the future.

▪️ Back in the house, White convinced Tee to not use the gun against Fluke and Top. We could say it’s the power of love. Tee really is listening to what White has to say. I also gave him the gun and it’s again a proof of how he trusts his boyfriend. There is one thing annoying me in this scene and it’s how long it took Tee to stop pointing his gun at the Fluke or Top. No one can just stand there pointing a gun for so long without making a mistake. But anyway, that’s not important. My favorite boy, White is more intelligent than any of these idiots because he was the first one to question the so-called possession of Top and to recognize he was acting like he is high. Of course, Fluke and Tee didn’t really listen. Then, there was a fight between Fluke and Tee about Non.

▪️ Phee and Jin, after spending a lot of time going around in circle in the forest (apart from losing the ax in front of the house, I’m still trying to find what it means for them to have spend that amount of time going in circles. There must be a reason!) came back to the house and stopped Fluke and Tee from fighting. It became the grand moment of reveal about the true identity of Tan. I laughed a bit when Tee didn’t really reacted when the name New was said. Those guys never cared for Non and his life. They didn’t even know the name of his brother. They just used him and tossed him after it. It was only Jin who liked him and even his love was not enough for him to actually do something to help him (quick aside about how I was socked to learn he knew about Non having a boyfriend… How?! Did he saw the phone calls? I can’t seem to remember when he would have learn about that). Tan/New tried to deny but Phee admitted he told everything to Jin. I think if anything happens to Phee in the coming episodes it’s because he did revealed Tan’s identity. Maybe Tan/New had suspicious about Phee before, but he never did anything to him and gladly accepted his help. Now, things may change because Phee choose to side with Jin and Tan/New really saw it at this time.

▪️ Fluke decided it was the moment to act like stupidly again and took the gun from White to threaten him with it. I don’t know why he is always the one to torment White but it’s really starting to piss me off. Among all of them, White is still, so far, the only innocent person in this house. Tee, again, was really scared for him. It’s really hard to accept that he was a terrible person to Non, but at the same time he is ready to die for White if it means saving him. That’s the moment Top decided to free himself and he died. I won’t say I will miss him because it’s a miracle he survived until now. I thought he would have died before. Better him than my favorite character. Finally, we got the confession from Tee. He brought Non to his Uncle. Non was then beaten black and blue by his Uncle’s minions and he asked them to get rid of them and find any excuses to explain their disappearance. We already knew something like that happen so it wasn’t exactly fresh news for us. Tee admitted to everyone he has no idea what happened to Non after. I felt mostly sad for White because he discovered his considerate and loving boyfriend is not what he seems to be. It must hurt a lot. Jin and Tan/New vented their anger at Tee after learning the truth. Only thing I really appreciated from Fluke is how he stopped Tee from playing the victim card to make excuses for what he did. It’s not like he had no idea about what his Uncle was doing or what could happen to Non. You don’t have to be a genius to know.

▪️ Now what is very interesting is the preview for the next episode. I don’t know how they do it but the always manage to keep you hooked for the next one. It seems like Non is still alive and was working at Tee’s Uncle hidden place. Tee knows it and said he will help Non. The scene seems to be after the beating of Non, so why did he say he had no idea what happens to Non? I don’t like this small apparition of White in the preview. What does it mean? Does he know about Non too? Does it have nothing to do with anything? It’s in the past so it must mean something… Also, Tee gave Non an envelop. What is inside? Is it a way to get the hell away from this place? Is it money? If Non is alive why has he not tried to contact his brother/family (he may not know his parents are dead… or maybe he knows, couldn’t find New because he was masquerading as Tan at that time and thought he was alone… Or something else...) This preview is raising so much more questions. What is Tan/New going to do now? They can’t stay much longer in the house. Will they try to find Non? I think Tan/New is going to get crazy and kill all of them because what else can he do at that point?

I really love this series. It’s a pleasure to watch but also debate about it. All the theories or thoughts about it are also really fun to read. Next Saturday won’t come fast enough.

#my thoughts #thai series #thai bl #bl drama #bl series #dff the series #dead friend forever the series #dff #dead friend forever #be on cloud #dff spoilers #episode 10 #This series is truly engaging #I'm never bored #Can't believe White may not be as innocent as it seems #Finally Top is dead and he won't be missed #Next one must be Fluke. I can't stand him

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checkoutmybookshelf · 9 months

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The Boys are Back in Town

Most of the X-Wing series focused on either Wraith or Rogue squadron in their full capacities and on standard missions. That is NOT this book. This book focuses on Wedge Antillies, Wes Janson, Tycho Celchu, and Derek "Hobbie" Klivian as they slide inexorably from a diplomatic mission to something that Padme Amidala would unquestionably describe as "aggressive negotiations." Let's talk Starfighters of Adumar.

When you have a planet that has evolved outside of either imperial or republic influence that reveres pilots to an arguably unhealthy degree and you can't drag Luke Skywalker out of whatever he is currently doing, you get Wedge "I blew up two Death Stars, you don't scare me" Antilles. Wedge then puts together a crack team of his three best pilot buddies to hammer out a treaty between Adumar and the New Republic (I'd be LYING if I told you I was picturing anything other than Adam Sandler casting his best friends and taking them on epic vacations and incidentally making a movie for this bit).

As per usual, things go pear-shaped basically before they even get boots down on Adumar, because among its other problems, Adumar loves the HELL out of dueling. To the death. Usually with starfighters. Some asshole decides to try to increase his personal clout by shooting Wedge down as they fly in. This doesn't work, but hot damn does it set the tone...

The toxic dueling culture is not limited to snubfighters, however. Cheriss ke Hanadi (the undisputed queen of duels with blastswords) guides Red Squadron through the twists and turns of Adumari culture. That does not stop Wes from getting in a duel at the diplomatic reception, though. This duel is incredible because it's Wes giving an object lesson in how to humiliate the living hell out of an overly cocky opponent with a blastsword while functionally unarmed. This fight is glorious, and it's a beautiful follow-up to the "getting ready for the ball" scene our boys get to have where Wes lights up like a kid at Christmas when he discovers that blastswords are basically "blaster[s] that you have to hit people with."

Cheriss gets done a wee bit dirty by this book, because she basically develops a crush on Wedge, and when she finds out that he and Iella have gotten together, she sets herself up to get murdered by fighting a stupid number of duels in a row. The rest of Red Squardon steps in though, and as an added bonus, the New Republic medics give her a medication for her chronic vertigo to allow Cheriss to become a pilot. This series literally is not here for anyone who isn't a New Republic pilot, so I don't love Cheriss's arc, but honestly it could have been a lot worse, so I'm not complaining too hard.

The draw for this book though, is unquestionably the character work in our four protagonist pilots. The plot of the novel is pretty simple, all things considered, so Allston takes the opportunity to really dig into character for our boys, and getting to follow them on a somewhat nontraditional mission and using their skills as best they can is just FUN. As a friend says, this book is delicious candy fluff, and the characters are the candies.

Even when the mission goes directly to hell and Red Squadron has to run the gauntlet for their lives, the choices and twists and turns are largely character-driven. That makes what could have been a run-of-the-mill climactic escape into a really tense, well-constructed series of choices and consequences that are just FUN because of the characters who have been dropped into the situation.

There's objectively not too much substance to this book, but it ties Wraith Squadron as my favorite X-Wing book because of the character work and focus on the top four New Republic pilots. Plus, it's a little adorable that this is where Wedge and Iella really get together, and I am HERE for legends continuity legacy families.

#star wars #star wars books #star wars eu books #starfighters of adumar #wedge antilles #wes janson #tycho celchu #hobbie klivian #x wing #x wing fighter #x wing pilot #sci fi #science fiction

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tachineko · 8 months

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what are some of the best bl's you think released this year?

hi!! so far i think this year has been good with bl's but i think these few are the ones that i think stand out the most.

currently airing

my personal weatherman

this one came as a shock to me. i haven't been keeping up well with mbs' bls, given that "eternal yesterday" scarred me for life. but knowing the original source, i saw the announcement of them doing this and thought, you know what, maybe it won't be so bad. it won't. and i got shocked at how much i love the actors, the setting, and the characters. i loved this series so much that my tiktok fyp page was filled with one of the actor's cute tiktok dances, and i guess that's just the algorithm for me.

kiseki: dear to me

you can already tell from the amount of gifsets i make that i love this bl. initially, i only watched because i know that my favorite bl scriptwriter, lin pei yu, who i've been a fan of since her first bl, was in charge of the series. but as it went on, i was begging for more because of how much the actors, the plot, the characters, and the setting draw me in. it will honestly become one of my most favorites after it finishes airing. the whole thing just gives off that history-trapped vibe that i've been yearning for in taiwanese bl for so long.

i feel you linger in the air

having read the original novel (go buy and read it. it's amazing), i was expecting this one to be just fine. now that a few episodes have been aired, i'm aware that they did some cutting from the novel to fit the lakorn-style series. still, the quality, acting, and chemistry are so good. i wasn't confident at first since it was directed by tee, but then again, you can't always judge a director from their other few series. especially since this one deals with heavy themes of identity, culture-bound issues, and history. so far so good. i think this might be a standout bl for this quarter.

completed

our dating sim

one of the hit bl's that i personally wasn't a fan of at first, but then i saw how good their chemistry was and how well thought out the plot was. i was also shocked that even the actors themselves didn't expect this series to blow up because it was great from start to finish. one of my favorite scenes this year is that one scene where kitae had an emotional breakdown in front of wan.

sing my crush

this one surprised me the most. having released all their episodes in one day, i was shocked at how long they've kept this from us. it was filmed during the start of the pandemic, and it was only given to us this year. such an amazing drama series.

though one of the reasons why i found this amazing was watching it when i was sick, so i guess that contributed to it.

unintentional love story

what i loved about this series is the length and character progression. it just goes to show that k-bl's have the potential to become full-length in the future.

moonlight chicken

another masterpiece made with love. i think there's not much i can say about this series other than it's one of those classic bl's. i recently recommended this to a friend for their first bl, and they loved it and became a fan instantly.

jun & jun

a bit controversial, but i think my own perception of this series was different than everyone else's. what i love about the series is its outstanding chemistry, easy-to-consume plot, and actors' visuals.

to me, this bl feels like thailand's first step in making korean bl. let me explain. one of the reasons why this series has some hint of thai production in it is because of the presence of high heat among the main characters.

now, a lot of people complain about the quality, but to me, it's fine. it's fine because it's not a series that's meant to be taken seriously, and it's also nonsensical for the sake of easy consumption among viewers. though i gotta say that the actors have great potential to be in other bl's as well.

#lee.asks #asianlgbtqdramas #userbilllkin #usernuria #mjtag #userlotad #tuserfaiza #lextag #asianlgbtqdrama #asiandramasource #usertaeminie #usergooseras #tesstag #boyslovesource #tonanons #userpuentalay #uservid

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whoiwanttoday · 2 months

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I am pretty excited about the new Fallout show that is coming and this is just because I am inclined to like this sort of thing. I don't do a lot of TV but I have a real weakness for the setting, both specifically the Fallout universe and just post apocalyptic fiction of a certain sort. Not the bleak kind but more of the trashworld kind where we have a new society built on the bones of an old one. I think it just tweaks a part of my imagination. Like, my favorite writer is Raymond Carver and I love minimalism in general, which part of it is it paints a picture but leaves a lot of gaps that your brain fills in. This tends to make for a richer world than something full of purple prose, we project ourselves onto it and our own ideas and it resonates more. And a lot of the post apocalyptic stuff gets us there. Like as a kid I loved Thundar the Barbarian because it created this sort of new Earth where I could see stuff I knew about but other than it's the future and there was a comet we don't really find out how we got there but my brain could draw the connections. Much more satisfying than someone explaining it all. Anyway, Fallout 1 and 2 are among my favorite games ever and once upon a time that was a strange thing cause no one really knew the series, they were computer only RPGs from the late 90's so you had to be a certain type of person to even know they exist. I played them because I had heard the universe was inspired by A Canticle of Libowitz, one of those books from High School I deeply loved. Anyway, I love this sort of thing and it means I am inclined to like the show because the setting is interesting enough to me that they just have to basically make a show for it to scratch that itch. It could all go poorly of course, Fallout is a pretty cynical universe and handled poorly that can be more bleak than fun, and it's humor and satire can always be mishandled but I have hope. Ella Purnell being in it is exciting too because she was one of the things I liked best about Yellowjackets for that one season I liked it. This seems to be a very different character from the trailers, though obviously we'll see, but she was very good at playing a self centered sort of person who doesn't seem aware she's kind of awful and I will be interested in seeing how she plays someone different than that. Anyway, there has been premier stuff for the show all this week and she has looked nice and so I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Ella Purnell.

#Ella Purnell #brunette #Actress #whoiwanttofucktoday

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metalforhands · 1 year

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Character Preferences Survey: RESULTS

Last week, I made a survey for Fallout 4, Mass Effect, and Dragon Age fans to fill out. I asked who people romanced, and I asked for their favorite characters. I kept the questions vague as to avoid complications and caveats. Using these results, I managed to find several interesting trends, as well as instances of overlap between character preferences in fans.

I made a Google document detailing all of my findings. However, I will also include the very same findings below to make the results easier to access.

Finally, I will be attaching a link to this post in the original post. Happy reading! Thank you to all who participated!

Before I begin, I would like to include a few disclaimers.

I received 240 survey responses. It’s impossible to have every single person who has played these games fill out this survey. Consequently, the results will never be truly indicative of actual popularity. This survey is merely for fun, and so long as we all remember the results are heavily skewed towards the Tumblr userbase’s preferences, this document should make for an interesting read! If your favorite didn’t perform too well, don’t feel bad. Out of the 240 people who filled out this survey, there are thousands more who didn’t, and who like your favorite as well.

Also worth noting, I did not include Morinth because I assumed her numbers would be too low to draw any similarities. However, I want to take this moment to give a shout out to the Morinth romancers. Thank you to Tumblr user @fivekoboldsinacoat for speaking up for everyone who loves their serial killer girlfriend! Genuinely, nothing but respect from me.

If you are curious about anything not mentioned on this document, please feel free to reply here. I will either reblog with a batch of replies, or reply using my main account, @prezs. Thank you!

NOTABLE ROMANCE TRENDS

FALLOUT 4

Hancock: Stealing the title of most popular Fallout 4 romance! People who romanced Hancock have massive overlap with people who used the Nick Valentine romance mod. There was also significant overlap with people who romanced Garrus, Zevran, Anders, and Fenris. Dragon Age: Inquisition, however, is a complete wildcard for most Hancock romancers.

Danse: Runner up for most popular Fallout 4 romance! Significant overlap with people who romanced Kaidan, Alistair (we’ll get to the specifics of this one), and Cullen. Twenty of the sixty people who romanced Danse did not romance Alistair… and out of these twenty, nine of them have not played a single game in the Dragon Age series. Keeping this in mind, that means approximately 83% of people who romanced Danse, and also played Dragon Age, romanced Alistair. Kaidan and Cullen also have similar overlap, but not to the degree of Alistair.

MacCready: A strong performance from our resident single dad! I was curious to see if MacCready had any overlap with other widowed companions, like Thane, but I couldn’t find anything. MacCready romancers were most likely to romance Garrus in Mass Effect, however. It’s okay! I get it! You guys love snipers! I completely understand. Do you think MacCready should get a sexy face scar too? Let’s discuss.

Preston Garvey: Similarly to Danse, most people who romanced Preston also romanced Alistair. Again, not to the same degree, but enough to be notable.

MASS EFFECT

Garrus: Our second sweeper. Similarly to Alistair, he was a common denominator among several people. However, there was a notable trend between people who romanced Hancock and people who romanced Garrus. Likewise, it seems there were several people who romanced both Kaidan and Garrus. This can either be attributed to separate playthroughs, or breaking up with Kaidan after the first Mass Effect.

Kaidan: Aside from the similarities with Danse romancers mentioned above, for those who have not played Fallout 4, the overlap between people who romanced Kaidan and those who romanced Alistair and Cullen was also incredibly strong. Likewise, several people who did not romance anyone in Fallout 4 also romanced Kaidan, Alistair, and Cullen.

Jack: While lacking in votes, the most overlap Jack romancers had was with Cait romancers! This… makes a lot of sense, the more I think about it. In fact, even with Jack’s lower numbers, this makes the overlap with Cait romancers even more notable.

DRAGON AGE

Alistair: He swept! What more can I say? Alistair was probably the one common denominator among most people taking the poll, which is a compliment to his popularity with so many different people. Because of this, he showed up SO often to the point where it was hard to pinpoint too many trends. Anything with unusual overlap will be mentioned in other character sections (see Kaidan, Danse, and Preston).

Fenris: Runner up for most popular Dragon Age romance. Something, something, joke about who swept who off the other’s feet here. While most Fenris romancers are wildcards in other games, the only character with notable overlap was Hancock.

Zevran: Ah, our favorite Antivan assassin! Aside from Hancock, Zevran was extremely popular with people who have never played Fallout 4 and people who have romanced several characters per game, more than likely due to different playthroughs.

Cullen: Several of his trends (primarily with Kaidan, Danse, and Alistair) have been mentioned above.

Anders: Hilariously, Anders was the only character who managed to have several people who romanced him, but did not include him on their favorite characters list. A testament to his divisive nature. I see you guys! You made me laugh! The only notable overlap I noticed was with Hancock romancers. That, and Anders appeared on a lot of lists where the voter romanced several characters instead of just sticking to one or two.

FINAL ROMANCE COMMENTARY

Of course, exceptions exist! Several do! I know I’m one of them, as my main romances were Danse, Liara, Alistair, Fenris, and Dorian. Well, I’m not an exception to the Danse and Alistair hive-mind. But, uh. Join us?

Regardless, I may or may not have missed more subtle trends. If you’re curious about the overlap between specific characters, PLEASE let me know in the comments! I’ll be happy to update this post and answer your question.

GENERAL POPULARITY

I feel the poll results speak for themselves here. Most voters included their romanced characters in this section, along with other non-romanceable favorites. While there were exceptions to this, anything truly notable was mentioned above.

The results were also not too surprising. Nick Valentine absolutely demolished the Fallout 4 polls. Mass Effect and Dragon Age, while with more variety in their leads, also brought in unsurprising results.

For Mass Effect, Tali, despite not polling too well in the romance section, took the lead in general popularity! Following her is Garrus, Wrex, Legion, and Mordin, with an honorable mention to Jack, Grunt, and Thane. Non-romanceable companions polling so well over several of the romanceable ones goes to show how skilled Mass Effect is at making you care about Shepard’s platonic relationships.

For Dragon Age, Alistair initially demolished the poll, but Dorian crept behind him right into first place! Also popular was Morrigan (who, like Tali, scored well in the popularity section but not the romance one), Zevran, Merrill, Fenris, Varric, and Josephine. Special note goes out to Varric, the only one who cannot be romanced and managed to give Dorian and Alistair a run for their money!

Tali, Morrigan, Leliana, Merrill, Cassandra, and several of the other romanceable women performed well in the popularity section, but not in the romance section. Tali, Morrigan, and Cassandra are only able to be romanced by male Shepards, male Wardens, and male Inquisitors respectively. Leliana, all of the Dragon Age 2 women, and all of the Fallout 4 women can be romanced by anyone. Romantic unpopularity for these characters can probably be attributed to the Tumblr user base, who not only tend to play as female characters, but also tend to be drawn to male characters. I believe our results would be different on, say, Reddit, where the votes of heterosexual men playing as male protagonists would be more common.

#fallout 4 #mass effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect 3 #dragon age #dragon age 2 #dragon age origins #dragon age inquisition

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 1 year

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Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter Seventeen: Farewell Kiss

Summary- 3.5k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. Ending the rest of your Christmas with Curtis, returning back to Duluth is like a giant welcome home. Ella welcomes you into her home with the last of the holiday celebrations.

Warning- Hot steamy time in the Hot Tub. Some body image doubts for a brief moment.

A/N- The end of their first holiday's together! It is no surprise I'm sure to anyone that the holiday months are my favorite and I had so much fun giving them that same kind of joy, even among some of the hard moments. Thank you so much to everyone for reading this series and commenting. I appreciate it so damn much. Thank you @what-is-your-plan-today for reading it through first. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics

Chapter Sixteen / Masterlist

The rest of that morning was spent opening the last of the gifts. You managed to surprise Curtis with a wool coat that was shorter than the one he typically wore to the freight yard and a simple black beanie that he greatly appreciated since the one he was wearing was starting to fray and stretch out of shape.

But, as nice as they both were, neither was as special to him as the charcoal drawing you had gotten from Steve.

When opening your gifts, you stammered at the chunky heeled leather boots he had purchased. With supple soft leather in a wider size for your foot and calf, they fit perfectly and when you questioned it, he was forthcoming that he had taken a sneak peek at another pair you favored on date nights. In addition to the boots, he gave you season passes to the aquarium and a set of honey-colored amber stud earrings that you had fallen in love with in the local jewelry store near your apartment.

“I can’t believe you remembered.�� You said in surprise when you flipped open the grey velvet box.

He seemed to think nothing of it as you admired them in the sunlight beaming down on the two of you sprawled in front of the Christmas tree. “You pointed them out to me Honey, of course, I remembered.”

It struck you how easy he made it sound, that something that made you so happy he took note of. You leaned across the bits of torn Christmas paper to cup his cheek and give him a kiss. One that he was happy to accept, drawing you through the torn paper till you were half sprawled against him, making you giggle against his mouth. “Thank you, I love them so much.”

Curtis even helped you put them on, his thumb tracing the curve of your jawline and tilting your face just enough to catch the light. “They were made for you Honey.”

You spent the last of the daylight outside. Strapping into the snowshoes, you let Curtis break the trail down to the lake while you followed behind him. Brushes of snow once in a while fell from the branches overhead, leaving snow crystals clinging to your jackets and hair. The air was a refreshing chill that streamed out in rapid puffs around both of you.

Every so often, Curtis would stop both of you, pointing out markers from the trail and together trying to catch your breath as snowshoeing in the fresh powder was harder than it looked.

Tracks were easy to find and although you were familiar from your studies, you were fascinated to see them in person, following them into thick underbrush and winding away deeper into the forest where you two would investigate a bit before circling back around.

You found other things that made you eagerly would grasp his hand and tug him closer to go look at. Curtis happily went along with you, even snapping pictures on both of your phones for you to print out for the classroom. Your favorite one was following a set of rabbit tracks through the deep snow that suddenly stopped, a set of wings imprinted where the last of the tracks were. Curtis tucked in closer to look while you tried using your boot as a way to measure the wingspan in the snow imprint while snapping a picture.

It didn’t nearly come close.

“Owl’s hunting probably.” He glanced up into the trees, seeing if it was still nearby. “If they are out, it's getting late. If this was last night, the wind would have blown it away.”

You hummed while you gave up trying to measure it, giving a guess as to what kind of owl it could be. “Means it will be dark soon.” You held out your hand for his, offering to help him up. “Head home? We got the hot tub tonight and I’m ready for a good long soak in that.”

He wrapped an arm around you, tucking you to his side where you let yourself lean into his body to rest. You didn’t want to admit but your calves were screaming and you were starting to feel chilled beneath all the winter clothes you had on. “I can’t think of a better way to finish Christmas Honey.”

Surprisingly the cabin was closer than you had realized, within a short amount of time Curtis had you back inside and up into the loft to get changed while he got the hot tub opened. You slipped into the bathing suit you brought, a flowy two-piece that still showed off part of your stomach. Your hands slipped along your showing skin, hiding the stretch marks from yourself in the mirror while you did your usual pep talk. Not to mention that your thighs would be on display, and you felt more exposed in this new bathing suit than you did with the Christmas Eve lingerie.

“Why are you nervous Y/N? You guys will be in a hot tub. Underwater most of the time since it's cold out. And it’s dark.” You peeked outside to see Curtis already stripped to nothing and easing himself into the jet-streamed water. Half the tub was in the dark, just a bit of light under the water. He happened to glance up and you waved at him nervously before wrapping yourself into a robe. Your reflection gazed back at you in the mirror and your worried look melded to one of determination. “That hot water is gonna feel so good after today, get down there.”

It was that push you needed to make your way down from the loft and although tightly gripping your robe around you, you wandered out onto the deck to where the hot tub was steaming away. Curtis shifted over from where the steps were, settling across from where you dropped your robe.

Curtis admired a lot of things, a well-built engine, a good meal, and spending time with his family and friends. None of them compared to seeing his girl step from that robe. You cautiously dipped your toes in and then sunk your foot into the steaming water with a sigh of bliss on your face. Your bathing suit, although meant to keep you covered, he was aware of that, did almost anything but and he was unashamedly basking in admiring you. The only thing he hated was that your lowering into your seat covered your voluptuous thighs and curves peeking out from the fabric of your suit.

As you continued to sink, you let your head tilt back against the lip of the tub, giving a sigh as the bubbles surrounded you and you looked probably as relaxed as he has ever seen you. Perhaps that was good enough for now.

Your foot stretched out, running along the inside of his calf. The porch lights were dimly lighting the area, giving the whole scene a more intimate feel. “This feels so good Curtis.”

His hand captured your ankle, rubbing along the curve of your foot which encouraged you to sink further into the water, letting Curtis have more of your leg to massage. “I know, I think this has been one of the best holidays I have ever had. Although Halloween and Thanksgiving were hard to beat this year.” He grinned wickedly, blue eyes glinting in amusement as you bit at your lip, your toes curling as he ran a finger along the arch of your foot.

“I’m glad I could give you those lasting memories.”

Curtis tugged on your leg gently, easing you to float over to him and turn you around so your back pressed against his chest, his hands still working some magic under the water. “Mmh, and more to come. What’s the next holiday?”

“New Years.” Your head tipped back against his shoulder, feeling your tensed muscles ease looser while his hands rubbed along your thighs. “Then Valentines Day.”

“Well, New Years we will be at Ella’s if you still want to go-”

“Of course I do.”

“Then Valentines, you are all mine, Honey.” He started pressing kisses against the side of your neck, sure to hit those sweet spots that had you going breathless. Your ass wriggled back, and he knew you had to feel his cock pressing against you.

“I think I’m all yours right now.” You tilted your face to meet his, sharing soft kisses and sighs against him. He shifted the tip of your bathing suit, rubbing his warm palms against your breasts in a slow manner, making you feel every touch so intimately that you were arching for him.

“Yes, you are Pretty Girl.” He kissed you deeper, searing some part inside of you that made you forget to be self-conscious with him. It left you chasing for him, even when he pulled away once more to ask you a question. Concentrating when he was pulling and teasing your nipples like that was hard, his entire palm would cover them again, turning you on that much more as he paid attention to you. “You are not too sore after our hike though?”

“No, not at all.” You reached behind you to rub your hand against his cock, squeezing just as you knew he liked to feel him shudder in your touch. Curtis wasn’t a small man, but the way you were stroking him, he ached to feel you stretch around him, feel you squeeze him, and cry out in the dead of winter to tell the whole of Minnesota how good you felt with him. His hand dipped, rubbing at your clit when he eased your bathing suit aside to feel you start to give in, riding on the tip of his fingers rubbing at your pearl. “I want you inside me, Curtis.” Your voice was needy, a plea for him to give you what he had been wanting too.

“I got you, Honey." He assured you while lifting you enough to resettle you where he wanted you. Easing his cock into you, you grabbed his forearm wrapped around your waist to let yourself enjoy the feeling of him stretching you. You breathed out sharply when you felt all of him inside of you, his teeth nipping at the hinge of your jaw with a groan at how good you felt. "Ready?" Curtis checked, still stroking his fingers against your clit.

When you nodded with a sultry "Please?" did he give powerful thrusts that had you bouncing easily on his cock, causing the water to roll and slosh in the tub.

It was quick that you found a rhythm that caused you to hold back whines of pleasure, but he could still hear the soft “Oh’s!” whenever he hit you just right.

“Come on Pretty Girl, it’s just us on the lake.” He encouraged, tilting your head back so he could find your mouth and kiss you breathless. “You don’t have to keep quiet like in the apartment.”

You whined, a beautiful pitch among the sound of water sloshing around them as he gave measured thrusts into you. “Right there, Curtis.” You finally said, while his arm banded across your chest to keep you pressed against him.

“Like this?” He sucked a loving mark in the crook of your neck.

“Yes, yes please.” Your voice rose sharply while your pussy clenched around his cock, making him hiss at the way you pulled him in, bouncing up and down to match him. “I wanna come.”

“Then come for me.”

“I need-”

“Need what?”

“Need-” You reached behind you to grasp the back of his neck to keep yourself grounded to him, arching with each thrust he gave. His hand grasped your belly, down to your hip, rocking you back into meeting him. “-touch me, Curtis touch me.”

Curtis could feel you almost peaking your high, releasing your hip, he rubbed his fingers against your clit, listening to your satisfied cries that echoed out in the open. “Yes, don't stop, fuck Curtis, fuck.”

“Lemme feel you come for me Pretty Girl, show me how good you feel.” He encouraged, feeling you melt for him as you cried out once more.

Curtis didn’t stop, not till he had you coming for him a couple more times and you whined for him to come with you, and with such a sweet request from you, he couldn't say no. “Shit.” He cursed against your shoulder, his movements jarring and demanding till he felt his body snap, filling you with him until you both sagged back in the hot tub, letting the water soothe you both back to rational thoughts.

You twisted in his hold, hugging around him while he rubbed at your back, you felt good in his hold, all soft and warm with your lips once in a while pressing sweet kisses to his jawline. You would sigh softly, satisfied. “Merry Christmas Curtis.”

Returning home was a welcome sight. There was always something about leaving that was exciting and coming home was satisfying. The next few days after Christmas was a lazy sort of busy. You bounced between your apartment and Curtis’s house depending on what you needed to get done. Curtis spent the next few days snow shoveling his place and helping Tanya and Timmy get theirs done and then Curtis ‘hired’ Timmy to continue helping him with other neighbors who needed the extra hand. It typically ended with you helping Tanya out in the kitchen, making a hot meal for Curtis and Timmy when they finally came inside for the day, Timmy eating quickly and passing out in front of the tv while the adults sat around the table chatting till it was time to leave.

New Year's Eve was a bit different. You had a back seat of your car with gifts for Sophia and this day you dressed up for the day. A green velour tunic fell down your thighs with a pair of dark grey leggings underneath. Curtis himself dressed in a similar shade of green flannel and black jeans, effectively making you two look like a put together couple.

Arriving at Ella’s proved to be a bit of excitement as the three year old could be heard from inside yelling “Uncle Curtis! Uncle Curtis” and Ella flung open the front door to see Sophia peeking around her with a giggle.

“She is more excited today than she was on Christmas morning.” Ella declared as Sophia tried to bolt to Curtis, but she was quicker and grasped her daughter from running out onto the icy steps. “Careful, I haven't gotten a chance to salt these yet.”

You motioned Curtis to give you some of the stuff he was carrying, but he just shifted them into one arm and took your hand to help you up the steps. Ella was sure to smirk at him which made him roll his eyes at her. “Don’t want anyone slipping.”

“Sure you don't Curtis, it wasn't just an excuse to hold your girlfriend's hand?” She teased while she stepped aside to let you both in. He handed her off the gifts, sure to hand one just to Sophia.

“That too. Go help your mom put those under the tree Sophia Bear and I will be right there.”

Sophia went into the living room shaking the package the whole time listening while Ella followed behind her.

“I could have helped you.” You said while Curtis drew your coat off and hung it up.

“Could have, but I rather hold your hand.” He winked at you while grabbing the bag of salt from the hall closet. “Make yourself to home Honey, Ella refuses to let you act otherwise.” He stepped back out and you followed where the other girls went, finding them mixing your presents in among the others Ella had under the tree. Sophia marched over to you to take your hand, much like her uncle had, and led you to the couch.

“Look what Santy bring me.” She climbed up and Ella settled in nearby while you sat next to Sophia, going ‘ooh and ahh’ at all the things she handed you.

“Yeah, Santa must have dropped his sled off at your grandparents.” She snorted as tucked her legs up, getting comfy while watching you two. “Grey’s parents always get her so much. Want some toys to bring back to Curtis’s?” She chuckled.

“Well, it might not hurt to have some there for when Sophia comes to visit.” You pointed out as you worked on brushing the hair of a doll and braiding it.

“Ha, I will do just that. Curtis can’t say no to this kid and she has so much here and at Grey’s place. How was your Christmas Y/N? Curtis said that the cabin was stunning.”

“Oh, it was, beautiful. They had us a little tree to decorate, a nice wood stove that Curtis kept the place warm with. I talked to my parents and sister's family that morning. We went snowshoeing.” You drifted off as you handed Sophia back her doll.

“Mmhm, yeah sounds great. Curtis said the hot tub was his favorite.” Ella grinned cheekily and you were sure you felt your cheeks heat up.

“It was.” Came a voice behind you as Curtis made his way into the living room, Grey following behind him. Sophia abandoned her toys for her father and her uncle came into the room. “After a day of snowshoeing, it was just what was needed.” He winked at you while handing Sophia off to Grey.

"Mmhm, mmhm." Ella grinned at the two of you, a knowing look on her face. "Hot Tubs are good for that I suppose."

“Can we open more now?” Sophia asked looking at all the adults, her little bottom lip poking out in a plea. Saving the two of you from Ella's teasing for now.

“Didn't you open enough with Meme and Papa?” Grey questioned and she gave a firm shake no. “Okay kiddo, how about you hand out presents this time?” That made her perk up, skipping over to Ella’s tree and crawling underneath it to start digging out gifts.

Grey settled in the chair near the tree to help Sophia with figuring out who got the gifts while Curtis shifted a pile of toys aside and settled next to you, his arm circling over your shoulder. “Y/N gave me a stunning drawing that one of her coworkers did, next time you come over Ella make sure I show you.”

Sophia came over carrying a box all nicely wrapped while she pushed it into your lap. “From me Y/N.” She said, excitedly opening her mouth. “It’s tea and-” Curtis pushed forward to cover her mouth, scooping her into his lap.

“Sssh, can't tell Y/N what it is.”

“I wrapped it!” Sophia changed tactics while you tugged at the bow.

“Do you want to help me unwrap it?”

“Yeah!” She reached around Curtis to help you rip at the paper. Sending it flying. Ella sat at the other end of the couch giving a dejected sigh.

“I worked so hard on wrapping this year too. All for it to last two seconds?”

Curtis snorted in laughter as Sophia was sure to personally show you every bag of tea Ella had packed in the box. “Reminds me of when you used to unwrap everything, including mine.”

“Santa didn’t properly label the boxes.” She huffed as Grey handed her a gift for Sophia, which she beckoned Sophia away from you to find out what was in it.

“What did you get of Curtis’s?” You asked as you tucked away the box at your feet while watching Sophia open her gift.

“Boys jeans in three sizes too big.” Ella laughed as she helped her daughter take the doll out of the box. “I insisted they were mine and Grammy hemmed them up for me.”

“Cause you wouldn't drop it.” Curtis pointed out and Ella shrugged.

“Hey, I wore those jeans for years. My favorite pair.” She reached around to grab a large box and handed it to Sophia. “Go bring this to your uncle to shut him up.”

Sophia made the effort to put it in his lap, patting the box while looking sternly at Curtis. “Momma said shut up.”

“Thanks kid. I appreciate it.” He worked on opening it up, and once the lid fell off, he stood up, a pair of jeans unfolding in front of him.

“Is that better Curtis?”

“A little bit.”

The evening wore on to the later hour. Sophia had long since crashed after playing with all her new presents from that evening. You and Curtis worked on picking up the living room while Grey and Ella went to put Sophia to bed for the night. Once they came back out, child-free, Ella broke out some bubbly to celebrate and cards to take up the hours with the tv playing in the background. When the midnight hour was almost there, you four gathered around the tv, counting down.

Anticipation curled in your belly, you could feel excitement at being able to kiss Curtis when midnight struck, almost like a sign of good luck to come if you two caught it just in time. As soon as the television announcer exploded with the midnight sign, times square in New York blasting with celebration, Curtis tilted you back slightly and kissed you enthusiastically. Making you giggle into the kiss at the sweeping taste of champagne coming from him.

Next to you Grey and Ella pressed for their own friendly midnight kiss on each other's cheeks, but you lost focus on them. Your grasp dug into Curtis’s shoulders although he held you secure in his arms, making your head swim as his tongue pressed for yours to tangle together.

Seconds, minutes, it really didn't matter. You kept going for more as he gave it and when you both broke apart gasping for some air, your grins matched one another.

“Merry Christmas ya filthy animals and a happy new year.” Ella held up her glass of champagne and you tilted your glass towards hers, letting the gentle clink welcome in January officially.

#life is short so make it sweet #curtis everett and honey #curtis everett x honey #curtis everett and reader #curtis everett and plus sized reader #curtis everett and you #curtis everett x you #curtis everett x plus sized reader #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett au #chris evans characters #amber writes #sweater writes

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blackautmedia · 9 months

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Sly Cooper: Bentley, Asylums, and Disability Representation in Video Games

Revisiting a Classic old series, we analyze the portrayal of Disability in the #SlyCooper series and how it portrays Bentley who uses a wheelchair as of Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves.

Some Excerpts:

There are two villains I want to discuss people might not think of in the context of disability--The Contessa and Arpeggio.

The Contessa's levels are my personal favorite in Sly 2, so anything I say here is with love but these ideas don't come in a vacuum. Aesthetically it's a mix of a prison level, a haunted ghost setting with mystical elements, and most importantly is an asylum drawing on a number of tropes surrounding the allure of a haunted asylum.

The next villain I want to talk about is Arpeggio. He runs into a common pitfall in that he's the disabled villain. He's an engineering parrot who cannot fly and seeks to reassemble Clockwerk's body to claim it as his own and achieve the immortality that comes with it. The important element is how Arpeggio's villainy is intrinsically linked with his body and his disability.

Oftentimes, able bodied writers will write a villainous disabled character where the concept of being disabled is so burdensome and awful to the eyes of an able-bodied audience that they will do anything and immediately jump to evil in order to not be disabled. You can see this in how a lot of the dialogue about or with Arpeggio reviles in how pathetic he is and how the story frames his inability to fly.

There was a promotional comic that came out as a midquel between the events of Sly 2 and 3.

Throughout all of Sly 2: Band of Thieves, things spiral badly out of control, the Cooper gang's plans fall apart, and they often have to improvise, barely succeeding in several of the levels and flat out failing in others. This game is a ride.

Many articles, discussions, and posts about Bentley as a disabled character often reinforce a harmful and ableist belief that he is a good disabled character because he is a genius able to engineer a solution that doesn't allow his disability to "slow him down." Whether explicitly mentioned or not, the discourse surrounding Bentley repeats this narrative in some way and falls into a line of trying to exceptionalize Bentley's actions.

Sly 3 does reserve its most overt ableism for its villainous characters in Don Octavio, Muggshot and Captain Lefwee. But scenes like this are still reliant on the helpless disabled person trope at Bentley's expense, where he's literally kicked to the ground and stripped of his autonomy to center the agency of an able bodied character.

The game doesn't try to act like Bentley can do better if he just pushes more and tries harder. There are things he can't do and it's frustrating, but they celebrate his strengths in what he does.

It doesn't tokenize his disability and the final villain has a confrontation with him entirely because of his relationship to the Cooper family, a fight that Bentley is initiating, not Dr. M.

If nothing else, I hope this video gave some food for thought regarding how a lot of disabled people are portrayed. I don't claim to be the arbiter of all things disability, but hopefully it'll give more insight into what games and media in general can do to improve in its storytelling.

It's a shame that the Sly movie or a TV series never came to fruition because it'd be a great opportunity to portray a disabled character, actually consult and include disabled people in the creative process and make something really memorable.

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daily-rayless · 10 months

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15 Years of Natalia

November 2008. I think these are my first Natalias. As you can see, I haven't yet committed to the full floofiness of her hair.

So we've come to the end of my character appreciation series (for 2023, stayed tuned for next year), and that means it's time to turn to Tales of the Abyss, which I first played toward the end of 2008, during a very stressful point in my life. Perhaps because of that, but definitely because of the game's excellent story, it became one of my very favorite games, and there are lots of characters in it that I'd class among my favorites. But right at the top, and close to the top of my favorite characters of all time, is Her Highness, the national hero, the false princess, the girl with too many letters in her name, Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear.

Let me tell you why.

November 2008. Asch often features in my Natalia art. I like him a lot, both as a character and as part of the pairing itself. But I want to focus this post on Natalia, not Natalia and Asch.

When first glancing over the game's booklet, I identified Tear as the character I'd like. Looking at Natalia's design, I was actually quite turned off by her – all the frills, all the curls, all the puffs and scallops and ruffles. For a fan who loved cool, no-nonsense, knightly heroines like Celes Chere, Chris Lightfellow, and Mitsuru Kirijo, Natalia didn't seem to offer much.

December 2008. A Natalia panel from my first attempt to do an Asch-Natalia comic.

And then you get her first scene in the game, where she blasts in at her absolute worst, domineering, catty, snobby, obsessed with her own little world of childhood promises. She barges into your party, insists she won't be a burden, and continues to bully everyone right and left.

December 2009. My interest in Abyss cut off abruptly in early 2009 when I got into Persona 4, but it never died completely. It never does die completely.

But none of Abyss' party members are simply what they seem at first glance. Not only is Natalia soon revealed to be brave and generous (and more than a little unintentionally goofy) but the story forces her to mature.

May 2011. See? The obsession's right back here again.

And it's not a shallow maturity, where she becomes cold and uncaring, hardly the same person she was before. Even as she faces betrayals and difficult choices, she remains emotional, even naive.

June 2011. Trying to draw Asch and Natalia as regal and courtly as I possibly could.

But she stops focusing so much on herself, learns to treat others better, and realizes – though it takes her right until the end of the game – that she can't ask anyone else to make her dreams come true.

October 2011. Natalia at the ending battle. I was so proud of this one.

So I very quickly learned to love Natalia. By the time I finished the game, I was hooked, already off and writing fanfic. But the thing was? I still didn't like her design.

August 2012. Not sure what's happening with her elbow there. Maybe she's inviting someone to stroll with her.

I couldn't dispense with the flippy curls, but at least I could lose some of the ruffles, which is why so much of my art features her in alternate costumes or even completely new clothes.

October 2012. It's hard to make Asch look both happy and in character, but I think I manage.

But as time's gone on, I've started to appreciate her canonical design. Yes, she's a frilly princess. That's okay. She's a dashing, gallant, daring, floofy princess. She doesn't need to become (or look) “stronger” because the game already proves her to be incredibly strong.

March 2013. Post-game Natalia, looking older and more resolute.

And what's best about that is that you aren't merely told she's strong. She shows it, repeatedly, from immediately launching into rescuing the citizens of an enemy nation, to crossing a battlefield in order to halt a war, to risking her own life to negotiate with her father when he's literally named her an enemy of the state, to being punched by a man in a rioting crowd and then standing up to calm everyone and promise she'll do her best to protect them.

February 2015. I wasn't drawing much Natalia that year, but I found this sweet little sketch. I believe that's an early sketch of Eider she's sharing the page with.

And this isn't stuff she does while the hero, Luke, is the one really doing it. These aren't moments where she's assisting him on various plot points in his quest. These are things she does for her own reasons, as key plot points in her own arc – connected to Luke's, but still distinct from his. She's not just one of his entourage, she is going through her own story right up to the end of the game.

February 2021. And then after years of quietly resting, the Abyss-love hit me again. Time to draw the fanciest wedding Natalia possible.

In early days in the fandom, the female characters were often ignored in favor of the boys, and it was popular to bash Natalia. She's the “girly” one, the emotional one, the one whose story often focuses on her wanting to be loved and acknowledged by several male characters.

November 2021. This is one of my favorite Natalias. I wanted to emphasize her physical strength as well as her personal strength, and I think she came out looking very different and striking.

She isn't stoic like Tear. She doesn't suffer in silence. She gets petty, she cries, she falls to her knees, she can be so caught up in her own mind that she doesn't know what to do, and the game itself goes so far as to slap her for it at her very lowest moment. I think for a lot of gamers, they weren't able to see past Natalia's shortcomings and annoying traits.

March 2022. The cover for the newer Asch-Natalia comic.

But during my time in this fandom, I've noticed a shift, a positive one. More fans openly love the female characters, and I see much less scorn for Natalia these days. I wouldn't expect everyone to like her – she has her bad moments, and what makes one character work for one fan won't work for all fans. But I think people appreciate her heroic traits more now.

September 2022. In the old days, there was this feeling she wasn't good enough for Asch. I've long argued Asch isn't good enough for her.

So Natalia is now one of my very favorite characters. I'm so happy that my first impression of her was so very wrong.

August 2023. Her Glorious Majesty Natalia

#natalia luzu kimlasca-lanvaldear #tales #tales of the abyss #art progress #character appreciation #tales of the abyss spoilers #meta #we'll be back with this series next year

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nathanparisi · 1 month

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Here is a drawing of Disney Mice.

To start, I drew Minnie Mouse, Mickey's girlfriend. Since 1935, when the Mickey Mouse series went into color, Minnie has had a varied color palette. Personally, I chose blue.

Then I drew Gadget from Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers and did it with lighter blonde hair like Tad Stones had originally thought.

Then I did Miss Bianca from The Rescuers (1977) with her purple coat which was my favorite Bianca outfit. Miss Bianca is for me the most beautiful mouse among the Disney heroines with her varied wardrobe.

And finally, Olivia Flaversham from The Great Mouse Detective (1986), animated by Rob Minkoff, the director of The Lion King. The reason i drew Olivia holding the scarf is because the scarf hides the collar and the center of the coat, Olivia's coat is more detailed than Miss Bianca's with the buttons.

From left to right we have : Miss Bianca from The Rescuers and The Rescuers Down Under Minnie Mouse Gadget Hackwrench from Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers Olivia Flaversham from The Great Mouse Detective

Tools : Krita and Wacom Tablet.

#Miss Bianca #Bianca #The Rescuers #Minnie #Minnie Mouse #Gadget #Gadget Hackwrench #Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers #Rescue Rangers #Olivia Flaversham #Olivia #The Great Mouse Detective #Disney #Disney Mice

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ultramarine-spirit · 1 year

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Spoon's Q&A, fun facts and more! (NHK Culture Center Class)

As promised, I have translated the contents of Spoon's NHK class. This post includes answers to the Q&A, fun facts and interesting info I noticed from the session.

Disclaimer: Unless stated otherwise, these aren't direct quotes, nor a literal or complete translation of the whole class (it was over an hour long, it would have taken me much longer...), it's a summary. Also, Spoon talked very fast, so while I fact-checked my notes with native speakers and translators, I could have made mistakes.

Many thanks to my friends @carlachen and @ mananokobako on Twitter for sharing their notes with me!

Q&A

Q: The outfits featured on “Who Made Me A Princess” are very beautiful, what’s the process behind their designs? [Note: This was my question!]

A: When designing the outfits, Spoon researches the appropriate aristocratic costumes and dress codes, mainly from the 1870’s and 1880’s. She also uses material collections, books about clothing and web seaches, and used them as reference for details and hairstyles. In fact, this process could get very research-intensive and take many hours, something Spoon hadn’t anticipated, so she thanks the readers for liking them and taking notice of the clothes’ details.

Q: How did you come up with the name "Spoon"?

A: A friend recommended it to me, saying that the pronunciation of the word "spoon" was cute and that it suited my illustrations.

Q: While there are happy times when you draw manga, you must have also experienced many difficult and sad times. Is there anything that gave you the strength to overcome those difficult times?

A: The words of support and feedback from the readers gave Spoon strenght. When she heard that one of them was able to overcome depression after reading "Who Made Me A Princess", she was really moved to tears. Another happy event she remembers was when a foreign reader sent her a letter and a gift through the publisher company. She was so grateful that they would come all the way here [Korea], and also thanks the publisher company.

Q: What’s the most important thing to focus on while doing art, and is it needed to receive formal education or one could be self-taught? This may be a contradictory question, but what do you do when you lose interesting in drawing or you don't want to draw? Also, what’s your favorite type of ramen? [Yes this is the correct translation lol]

A: Spoon believes that the most important thing while doing art is to complete your work. If you don't complete it first, you can’t find flaws or bad points in your art to improve. Whether you learn by self-study or by attending art school, if you can become a professional or not depends on your effort. Try to be as specific as possible in your goals, and think about what you need to do to become better at painting than you are now. When Spoon is feeling unmotivated, she thinks to myself, "If I take a break now, I will regret it later, won't I?".

Among Korean ramen, a type called of sesame ramen called "Chamke ramen" is Spoon's favorite.

Q: I was always impressed by the beauty of Spoon-sensei's paintings. I wanted to know if there is an artist that influenced your art.

A: Spoon’s style has been influenced by the art of Naoko Takeuchi [Called it] author of Sailor Moon, Ikuko Ito, creator of Princess Tutu and animation director of the original Sailor Moon anime, and Katekyo Hitman Reborn’s author, Akira Amano [In fact, Spoon is a big fan of the series. You can check some of her old fanart here]. Spoon says that she respects them very much.

Q: Do you have any stories, manga, TV dramas or anime that have been greatly influential for you?

A: Studio Ghibli’s Nausicaä and Laputa: Castle in the Sky, and Disney’s Moana, stories where the female protagonist has adventures and overcomes adversity. Spoon thinks those stories of growth are really wonderful.

Q: What’s your favorite anime?

A: Spoon likes all the films directed by Hayao Miyazaki.

Q: The person asking this questions comments that, after reading "Who Made Me A Princess" they gradually became interested in family stories in which two characters who were indifferent before become close and come to cherish each other very much. Their question is, since there are many combinations and genre settings, if there's a particular pattern or setting that Spoon personally likes.

A: Spoon likes to see a character change depending on emotions such as love and friendship. Emotions are intangible, but they have the power to change a person's personality and behavior. She thinks that's what is so wonderful about it.

Q: At what stage do you draw the shadows? Do you add them in from the beginning or in the middle [of the process of painting]? Also, when do you start thinking about putting shadows in there? I would like to know if there are any points you are conscious of when drawing.

A: Spoon adds shadows when she is considering the surrounding lighting of the drawing. Even if the object in particular is a flat surface, it's important to paint it as if it were three-dimensional. In order to get better at this, it's absolutely necessary to carefully observe photographs to see the way in which shadows are cast when an object is exposed to light.

Q: When you are drawing, which part do you like the most?

A: Spoon enjoys when she is putting the finishing touches the most. She is filled with a sense of accomplishment after completing it.

Q: In some scenes, Athy does a swirly gesture with her arms when she is embarrassed. The person who asked this question doesn’t quite understand it, as it’s not something you see in Japanese manga, and would like Spoon to explain it a little.

A: [Spoon shows gifs of Korean TV shows where the participants make a sort of “grabby hands” motion] Spoon laughs and explains that this is a common physical way to convey embarrassment, surprise or cringe in Korean culture [If you search “오글거리다” you can find some examples]. The word used literally means that your limbs "shrink", so that's where the gesture comes from, but it can also be used in other situations, such as being horrified, in pain or cold. In Japan, this is usually represented with goosebumps.

Spoon elaborates about how certain cultural differences are fascinating. For example, when someone is talking about a character behind their back or in another place, in Japanese media the character will usually sneeze. On the other hand, in Korea that kind of situation has the character’s ears suddenly itching.

Q: The person asking the question says that the way in which Spoon draws jeweled eyes is very beautiful. They want to know how did Spoon think of that idea, or if she developed a process of creating them.

A: How she would draw the jeweled eyes was one of the things that Spoon worried about the most. What she wanted to convey was the feeling of a “cut gemstone”, and how precious, shining and beautiful the eyes look [Here she explains it while doing “cutting” motions with her hands. Think something similar to a karate chop]. She did her very best and is glad that she got a good response from readers.

Q: Athy and her friends looks so beautiful and cute in the dresses they wear. I would like to know what was the most difficult or honestly troublesome dress to draw in your work.

A: The coronation dress was very difficult and time-consuming to draw. At that time, Spoon had to do a lot of things at the same time, such as revising the physical version of the webtoon, so there wasn't enough time to do everything at the same time, but Spoon was happy that the effort she put into it made it look gorgeous.

Q: Who is your favorite character to draw, or the easiest to draw? And who is the most difficult to draw?

A: It’s Athy, because she’s gorgeous and cute. But Spoon also greatly enjoys drawing Lucas. Drawing him is fun because he is handsome and has many expressions. On the other hand, it's difficult to draw cautious characters because their facial expressions don't change much. However, she says that all of the characters are beautiful and elegant, so there’s no character that Spoon dislikes drawing.

Q: What is the most important thing for Spoon to draw in “Who Made Me A Princess”?

A: Spoon expands on the themes of “Who Made Me A Princess”, about the various relationships within the family that wasn't connected to one another. She thought that even if the characters shared blood, they hadn't been able to communicate, so they could only become a family if they thought about each other. And even if they are not connected by blood, if they care about each other they still can become a family.

Q: The person asking the question goes over how the color of both Jennette and Anastasius’ eyes changed once Lucas removed their mana. Jennette’s eyes became green like Penelope’s, while Anastasius’ turned black. It seems like the jeweled eyes are related to the characters' mana. So, if they didn’t have any magic, would Athy's eyes become a beautiful and mysterious color like Diana's, and Claude's eyes would become almost brown like his mother's?

A: Spoon elaborates about how the way in which a person’s eye color is determined is very complex and tricky, as it has to do with genetics, but in this setting it indeed relates to the royal mana. If Athy didn’t have any magic, her eyes would look like Diana’s.

[Note: This is also shown with Aeternitas’ cloudy jeweled eyes, since his mana was very weak].

Q: The person asking this question asks Spoon why was Diana a dancer, and if she could get a little more into Diana’s character, her past and what type of person she was.

A: Spoon imagined Diana as a minstrel or a wandering artist. Like a ballerina in a famous theater troupe who tours, she travels with her dancing and singing, putting on shows in different countries to earn money for her travels, so Spoon characterized her as a free soul.

Q: Obelia is called “the land of eternal springs and summers” in the last chapter. Does that mean winter doesn’t exist there?

A: Spoon says that indeed, there’s no cold weather in Obelia. That's why the characters don't have winter clothes. However, as there are a lot of cute designs for winter clothes, she would like to draw an illustration of the characters in winter clothes in the future.

Q: What your schedule is like when you are working on the series?

A: Spoon exercises as soon as she wakes up, for about 2 hours, eats dinner when she gets home, and starts working right away all the way until she goes to bed.

Q: It’s very rare to see Claude in uniform or tight clothes. The person asking the question wonders why Claude's clothes are so bare and asks Spoon if she could elaborate a little on his fashion sense.

A: Claude used to be a prince who wore his uniform properly, but after meeting Diana, he came to like the more casual or loose style of clothing. So Claude's fashion sense comes from Diana’s influence on him. Even when he didn’t remember her, he kept wearing such clothes because of that influence, and also because he genuinely likes them.

Q: Who’s Spoon’s favorite guy?

A: [With no hesitation] Claude.

Q: How did you improve your drawing skills before becoming an illustrator?

A: Spoon used to emulate her favorite artists and draw fanart.

Q: Do you have a favorite japanese word?

A: When she was traveling in Japan, Spoon was impressed by the name “Nippori” [Referring to Nippori train station]. She looked up the meaning and thought “Oh, so that’s what it means!” [Note: Nippori means “place where the sun sets”]. In Nippori, she didn’t do anything in particular, Spoon just passed by it on the train.

Q: "Who Made Me A Princess" has great clothes, but I also like the flowers that appear in each scene. I know some of them problably don't exist, but is there a flower that you use as a model?

A: It was a long time ago, so Spoon doesn't remember much, but she tried to draw beautiful flowers with overlapping petals.

Q: Is there anything that Spoon-sensei takes special care of in terms of physical condition?

A: Her wrists. Spoon demonstrates how she does her stretching routine. She also takes supplements when needed.

Q: I love Athy's hair color, it's so soft. Did you have any difficulties or problems deciding on that color?

A: At first her hair was a little darker, but Claude's hair is a dark blond and Athy's is a light blonde. So, in order to make a difference between them, Spoon lightened Athy's hair. She had a hard time fixing it so it wouldn't be too bright.

Q: What do you keep in mind about color schemes when you paint? They are always beautiful and I'm always fascinated by them.

A: Spoon tries not to make the color scheme too dark or complex [This answer was hard to hear, it could mean too dark or complicated/oversaturated].

Q: A question asking for commentary on the characters' expression and they way in which Spoon draws them. The answer focuses on Claude’s expression when Athy collapses in Chapter 18. The comments mention how Claude’s perspective of it in Chapter 102 was very moving and made everyone cry. [Here Spoon showed the panel of Claude’s surprised face].

A: That scene was especially difficult for Spoon. It's a precious scene that shows how Claude had allowed his heart to worry about Athy. It was quite difficult because she had to give the expression a “Claude-like” quality and be careful to not deviate from his personality, but she also had to express how shocked he was. But it was a lot of fun despite the difficulties.

After reading the comments saying that this scene made everyone cry, Spoon adds that this is her favorite scene in the webtoon.

Q: The last question of the class. What will Spoon do in the future?

A: Spoon was thinking of going back to being an illustrator after the serialization of “Who Made Me A Princess” was over, but after the encouragement and happiness she received from readers, she decided to continue as a cartoonist. Look forward to seeing her next work!

Spoon realized that it makes her very happy to see and meet readers who are happy to read the manga she drew. She will continue to create good works as much as she can. She ends the live part of the class thanking us readers.

Q: At what age did you start drawing? [Note: The following questions are direct quotes. Because they were provided in written form, I was able to faithfully translate them].

A: My parents told me that I was very young, ever since I was able to hold a pencil, I was already drawing.

Q: What made you decide to be a cartoonist?

A: I have always dreamed of becoming a cartoonist since I was a child, but I thought it might be difficult, so at first I aimed to become an illustrator. After a while of working as an illustrator, I was asked to make my favorite work into a webtoon and decided to become a cartoonist.

Q: What’s your favorite manga?

A: I really enjoy reading Dungeon Meshi [Delicious in Dungeon] these days.

Q: What’s your favorite Japanese food?

A: I like sushi and ramen / I like cheese and creamy foods. It’s not good for my health… But it’s delicious, isn’t it? ( ;ω; )

Q: When did your current art style take form?

A: After I started working as an illustrator and studied styles suitable for the genre (mainly romance fantasy), I guess… It’s not completely set in stone, it’s still developing.

Q: I’d like to know what’s your average working time per day.

A: Basically 8 hours, sometimes more than 12 hours when the deadline approaches.

Q: What software do you use for illustration?

A: I use Clip Studio Paint by CELSYS.

Q: Please tell me how to draw jeweled eyes!

A: I posted a tutorial on YouTube. Please watch the SoSpoon channel! [Link to the tutorial]

Q: Please tell us about Athanasia’s daily life!

A: Athy enjoys having tea and cake while performing her duties as princess. She will also play with Lucas, who shows up from time to time.

Q: Did you expect “Who Made Me A Princess” to become so popular in Japan? Did you work with the intention of expanding to overseas from the beginning?

A: At first, I didn’t think about publishing overseas. At that time [when the serialization began, in 2017], it wasn’t a time when overseas expansion was very active [referring to how back then, it wasn’t common for manhwas to get translated into other languages]. I was very happy that Japanese readers enjoyed my work, and I’m looking around for feedback with a lot of gratitude. Thank you so much for all the love.

Q: What does “Who Made Me A Princess” mean for Spoon-sensei?

A: The webtoon “Who Made Me A Princess” is like a benefactor to me. Thanks to this work, I was able to receive a lot of love. Thank you so much.

Q: Have you been asked to make an anime adaptation of “Who Made Me A Princess”?

A: Yes. I heard that it was ranked the 2nd manga that people want to see animated in Japan. Thank you very much.

[This year, “Who Made Me A Princess” has also been nominated to receive an anime adaptation. Read more about it and vote here!]

Fun Facts and Other Info

I'll answer what everyone is probably wondering about first: No, there was no mention of the side stories. But also, no one really asked about it. It seems to be a sort of taboo topic among japanese readers, and since there is some kind of issue with their publication, nobody touched the subject to not ruin the happy mood.

Apparently, Spoon received over 1000 questions for the Q&A.

The NHK translator mentioned that there were students from many countries!

Spoon gave a quick overview of her working tools. They include: a Cintiq 27QHD (tablet), two Dell monitors, and a Streamdeck. She also mentions using a 24-inch pen now, because it's easier to use.

Spoon has volume 9's cover as her PC's wallpaper.

Spoon's voice is very cute! But wow, she talks so fast. Taking notes was very challenging.

She seemed to be shy but was very happy and looked healthy! The first thing she did was thank the readers for all their support and for giving her strength.

There were many comments about how cute the gestures Spoon made were. I agree!

Spoon has a ton of WMMAP merch. A whole bookshelf filled with it, and I believe she had at least one item of... everything. Even the chinese exclusive merch.

She also had a bunch of WMMAP volumes, both normal and limited versions!

Spoon has a special brush for drawing blushed cheeks, and it's in fact not pink but orange and light red, with the contours being lighter.

She had a very cute crab pencil holder. She said it was a gift from her assistant. Spoon likes it because it has a cute shape and she loves cute things. Like this (green one):

Most people already saw, but the results of the popularity poll for the character people wanted Spoon to draw were: Athy in 1st place, Lucas 2nd, Claude 3rd, Ijekiel 4th, and lastly Jennette 5th. The numbers of votes weren't revealed. Spoon drew the following illustration to celebrate:

That's it for now! I've been told that the class will be re-streamed soon (though I don't know if it will be made public or just for those who paid), so I'll try to watch it again and chat with friends that attended the class to see if I can add more interesting information to this post.

(February 4th, 2023 Edit) With the invaluable help of my friend @ mananokobako on Twitter and listening to the class again, I was able to translate new questions and improve on the past translation. I hope everyone can give it another read!

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