#This is one of the only things I don't allow people to fuck with me on

[danielcalmdown]

Here's a few thoughts i have about Disco Elysium and it's lack of philosophical approach towards Harry's experiences. (Not to mistake it with psychology. There is plenty of that in Disco and the characters and ideologies are pulled apart in many fun ways.)

Explanation below the cut, so it's not a long-ass post.

So, Harry is very much suffering. He says "I am in pain. I have no idea how to get better, I'm about to fucking give up." What he gets as response, from his own mind and other people, is things like: "Get your shit together. You have to go through this hell. It will be awful, depressing and boring. Forget her. Stay strong, don't give up, you will eventually feel better. This is how normal people live. Do it for the (...)." This is encouragement. What it does is it keeps him on his feet and helps him move forward. But it's the only type of response he ever gets. What it doesn't do is challenge how he experiences his life in the first place. There is not a single sentence, a thought, any kind of spark in the game that would begin some sort of reform within him. He's the same sad, old Harry utill the end. The rest is accessories.

Beyond that, the gameplay is screaming at you: SEIZE THE MOMENT! There is so much work put into describing things happening around Harry. And so much fondness towards that world. But it's just there, next to him and his pain. Beautiful and worth living for, but it's not used to reveal anything that would inspire him to change. Something about humanity, the meaning of his suffering, maybe a hint about that hole in the world. Yknow, philosophical stuff. Even the miracle of the story, the phasmid, answers Harry's most existential question with "I don’t know, nobody knows." It's not there to guide him away from the vicious circle he's stuck in. It's more like a pat on the back. "Look, something incredible happened today! Life can be great sometimes." Here are a few statements meant by the game to be impactful: "Something beautiful is going to happen", "The night is always darkest before the dawn", "One day, i will return to your side", "The road to healing is going to be a long one. You will make it, some day." They sound like coping mechanism. They are motivational, hopeful, but don't speak about reality. "I'm suffering RIGHT NOW. The world and my head are still fucking broken. Heelp!" Harry cries out. "Hope for a better future. Go for a run. Focus on your job, get a hobby, take your mind off the pain." Try to be happier while remaining the same. Switch alcohol and drugs for non destructive activities to help you endure through that persisting pain. Look out of the window each morning, wait for that special thing to happen. And when it happens? The core stays unmoved. You don't even know what it is about you, where lies the first mistake. You learned nothing new about yourself.

I think all of this fits with the creators' views, which are sparsely hinted at throughout the game. "God is indifferent. This is our curse", "The world is inherently meaningless", "True love is possible in the next world, for new people, it's too late for us." Maybe that's why the game didn't allow Harry to change, because it doesn't believe there is anything out there that could help him. He's a human, therefore he has no choice but to think and suffer exactly the way he does. So yeah, that's my thoughts on it. Feel free to comment, disagree and enlighten me if you think i'm wrong. I'm always open to change my mind.

[pocket-deer-boy]

at a certain point, someone's bigotry towards trans people becomes some kind of science denialism where they have to pretend trans people aren't real for their idea of the world to work. like, have a gander at this infographic

Beyond having no idea who the target audience of this infographic is (this reads as a bit too toony and colorful for the more serious sex ed tone of high school biology classes but is far too textually dense and visually noisy and cluttered for younger kids, so really it just feels like it's made or adults to pass around and nod along to work that tells them exactly what they already believe) It's also full of blatant medical misinformation, and states facts in a way that feels completely angry and bitter towards anyone who believes anything else. Like, no, transphobic lion gender infographic. Men CAN lectate even without any hormonal treatments or being trans. I've seen it personally.

It's also interesting to me how it explains sexuality (among other things) as being these incredibly rigid and inflexible categories. Like oh really, asexuals can't have sex? We can't go into nuances of sexual desire, sexual attraction, sexual pleasure and social expectations to perform sex. Like if you're ace and you did sex and weren't enthusiastic about it and never tried it again i guess you're not ace. The harry potter houses model of sexuality: you are one thing, you fit into this one thing, it prescribes how you're supposed to act instead of using it to describe how you actually exist.

This rigidity also becomes obvious when it talks about intersex people as being these exceptions to the rule that don't have to be counted for how gender and sexuality works. And of course, we have to force intersex people into these binary categories instead of, you know, letting them decide for themselves? And of course it ignores any kind of intersex person with any kind of features that can't be written off as an anomaly and an aberration from the norm. Here we start doing science denialism. Here we start pretending certain people's body features aren't worth discussing for the sake of public knowledge. They're only worth bringing up as anomalies, and not as like, people.

I can't fucking get over how jarring the whole image is actually. Like, the really cheerful cartoon furry lions next to this piece of text prescribing the rigidity of existence. Yeah baby, I love being a strong cool lion boy, I love being told everything I'm not allowed to do or be for the sanctity of my gender!

yeah roar!!!

Here's a little section i wanna do more of a deep dive on

Women have two eggs?? what??? the egg-shapd things in the uterus are not the eggs!!!!! what the fuck are you talking about

This particular part stands out to me. Like, obviously the purpose of this infographic is not to tell you how bodies work, but to insist that there's a correct and an incorrect way for bodies to work, and that people outside of what it describes do not exist. It's obvious because it won't even show you what a uterus, what a vagina, or what boobs usually look like, like any decent diagram whose purpose is science education would. It's obvious because it straight up lies to you about how periods work, and tells you that having a period is somehow intrinsically tied to being a woman.

Like, no. Obviously. Trans can men experience menstruation at any point in transition, and trans women can experience other common parts of periods if they've been on hrt for long enough. Periods are not some kind of woman exclusive thing, it's not purely reliant on having a uterus or having certain hormones. It's not gender dependent. It depends on multiple features of one's body. It's a very basic fact of transition, hormones change how your biology works no matter what features you have. To imply none of this is true is denying very very basic facts about how a lot of people's bodies work, simply based on some insistence that those people aren't real and if we simply look away we can all pretend trans women aren't real. It's digging your head in the sand, it's having lived looking at the shadows on the wall your whole life, being told something new, and going right back into your cave and angrily shouting at everyone that the shadows are real, the shadows are ALL that is real, and though I may have glimpsed things that lie outside of it, those things aren't real because I personally can safely ignore facts about how the world works and go about my day.

[moth-eats-paper]

My complete thoughts on TMA through 93-200

MAG Thoughts on ep 93-200

THERE'S A CAT

John's hand still hurts from the cult of the flame

There's also a missing calliope. I think thats how you spell it

The institute is a death trap.

Both John and Elias are vessels of “The Eye” and can make people spill their guts Gertrude was also one up until Elias killeClayr. So that's fun

GORGEY MIGHT KNOW/BE A PART OF ANOTHR GOD?!?!?!

LAST WORDS OF A CORPSE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN GORGEY?

Gorgeys not ok

Nor is Marten

I quite like the new girl shes funny

Is anyone in mag alive lol

Well idk John why does Elias do anything.

IT'S THE THING GIRL DOLL PLASTIC THING OMG

(I have no idea what i was trying to type here^)

Tim and Marten are not okay especially marten

Spooky doll thing changed her mind apparently

And Michael (the spooky one) use,d to be an assistant of Gertrude funnnn

Ep 100 time baby :3) No one in the institute knows how to interviewnoople except John and I'm pretty sure that's because of “the eye”

The spself-cannibalismThe spiders are weird

Why is this woman so calm about a ghost woman who's on fire burning her (poor marten he's very confused)

Tim is speaking to a maniac

Melanie (I think it's her) is speaking to a man who keeps getting side tracked

THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU GOT OUT OF THE SPIRAL AND WENT TO DINNER

The poor detective

SPOOKY MAN NAMED PETER JUST APPEARED FROM NO WERE AND I THINK HE'S FROM THE UNKNOWN?!??

SPOOKY DOLL WOMEN!

THE COFFINS BACK

“Sarah wanted to use nails but I talked her out of it because I'm a good friend!” YOUR A MANNEQUIN (I love that line so much lol)

Oh wax love that

Mmm skin

Don't skin John please

ARE YOU GOING TO MOISTURIZED JOHN AND THEN SKIN HIM?

MICHAEL HOLY SHIT HE'S BACK

oh he's going to kill John

Revenge?

Oh

Oh dear he doesn't want to be Michael

MICHAEL BECAME THE DELUSION

Oh he's making a statement

MICHAEL SHELY

Oh god Gertrude

Unrelated but my cat has decided to try and kill me

PETER LUCAS IS ALSO THERE

Oh god Michael Shelley is very dumb

Only just know getting scared? What the fuck

Doors. fun

I can't even spell whatever that is

THE SPIRAL

Of course she didn't care

Just don't trust Gertrud

The Worker of clay?

His laugh is silly

Oh oh dear

Oh dear the doors not working

OH JESUS

HELEN

MICHAEL BECAME HELEN

HELENS GOING TO HELP?

HELENS THE DISTORTION NOW

So I guess the distortion only wants what that person wanted

Why does Elias just agree with the person who's trying to kill him

I think this man has bugs in his skin

He does

John can suddenly read French and then can't

I LOVE MARTIN

Melanie keeps trying to kill people

(People being Elias)

Pig episode (like actual pigs not the police)

Oh the pig no no like you sir

Oh god I guess this pig is a weird thing

THE CIRCUS?

Oh god not more circuses

Oh dear I think the pig has decided to eat clowns now

Oh self cannibalism

Whelp the pig ate someone

Loud sound

The eyes doing it's thing

JOHN DOING THE THING WITH THE EYE

Tim keeps scaring people

Tims not ok

OMG TIM STATEMENT

Tims brother went missing

I don't think it's Tim's brother

Whelp he's gone

Oh clowns know

OH DEAR CLOWNS

I don't think that's your brother Tim

Oh blood

Oh dead clown

Oh no more skin .

Oh famous clown

Tim and Elias drama

Oh we're in China

Oh creepy opening

I wonder. Is this in Chinese? I know that the eye can allow you to read other languages in order to obtain more knowledge. Even if you never spoke that language or were able to read it you just suddenly are able to.

Oh screams

Nevermind I'm pretty sure it's in English cause it seems the person writing it is a British soldier

Does he have the black plague?

OH DEAD BODYS IN THE WATER

Oh-

This is a sad man

“True and total war”

GOD DAMMIT NO CIRCUS

HE CAN READ MANDARIN AND AND CHINESE NOW (cause of the eye)

IT WAS FROM 2004 NOT 2014

Oh the proper one's are in America

Space station time

I wonder if this is the same space station as the one Gertrude read

I think she kept talking about it in one of the statements well more specifically the guy who it is from

We love Melanie (even though she keeps trying to kill Elias but she has a good reason)

FAIRCHILD IS BACK

IT IS THE SAME SPACESHIP BUT JUST A DIFFERENT GUY

Because the one Gertrude read was the isolation guy. This is about the other two people who were on the ship

Oh god the space weird space hands are back I think

Oh blood

Oh he's bleeding

Oh god he's just going to let himself die

Old screaming things

Don't envy the isolation guy he had a really shit time

Whelp now he's in limbo space

OH SOMETHING'S BLOCKING THE STARS

Oh deep thoughts

Melanie is thinking deep

She's skeptical of stuff

Oh dear

IS HE STUCK IN SPACE

Viscera I think is how to pronounce her name?

MARTIN HAS A CRUSH ON JOHN?

Viscera and Melanie are gossiping and I'm here for it

Oh performance review

OH GOD ELIAS

JESUS CHRIST ELIAS STOP LEAVE POOR MELIAINE ALONE

WHAT DID HE DIE OF

WHY DID YOU GIVE HER THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIM DYING

THAT'S TERRIFYING

He can just make her watch her dad's death!

I want texas toast I'm going to go make some

JOHNS IN AMERICA

Whelp he's being followed by a police officer

And Jared's “death”

GERTRUD WAS ARRESTED FOR BREAKING INTO A MORGUE

He just has to read statements to make him feel better

A screaming oven lovely

OH THERE'S A FIRE

OH A TRAINS ON FIRE

What do you mean you'd burn them?

John is better!

OH SHIT IT'S THE POLICE

WHAT IS THAT ACCENT

OH MY GOD ITS THE VAMPIRE HUNTER

YIPPEE MARTIN

I fucking hate Shakespeare

Lovely more masks

Poor Tim

And Melanie

AWW

OH SHIT

SOMETHINGS HAPPENING

PETER LUCAS IS BACK

Lucas seams so silly

Viscera gets really excited about her reading and I love that about her

Mmm more statements

I'm pretty sure John just asked for a statement because he was starting to feel sick lol

MORE VAMPIRES (I think) YIPPEE

His accent is kinda hard to understand

BODYS IN BOX

Spoopy people

Love how she calls the vampire hunter old man

Oh bodys on table

Silent screamers

OH WATER

Staby stab

Oh she killed him

OH SPOOKY THING

HAHAH DOLL THING (why is his voice kinda-)

More Marten :3

This girl sounds like an asshole

THIS PERSONS TRANS TDZSDHUGDZ

That is a long ass name

“Spiders are eating” PFF

Oh don't walk into people's jaws

Mmm Japanese spider movies

YOU HAD TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOURSELF HE ONLY HAD TWO ARMS

Oh spoopy

Oh they found A Way to distract Elias

A leitner?

JARED

Jared is cool

Jared's mom was an ass

Hmmm more things to kill and torture everyone

I keep forgetting meat is in this

Jared is so sad

MURDER

YIPPEE VISCERA

We're back in America and they found a bomb and the taxidermy or what's left of it

John and Tim drama

YIPPEE TIM A JOHN ARE OK

Oh tunnels

Bomb time

The meats back

LITENER

No more arm

And now he's in the water

PFFF

HELEN

Aww

YIPPEE SPOOPY

Meeting timeee

Gurtrud tape time

Wolfgang?

Puppets?

I think this is from a older time in europe because of the writing and how it is worded

DON'T GO

Mmm more robotic things

OH GOD A STAGE

Mmm birbs

BLOOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CURL YOUR LEGS INTO A FIST

Funsies

Oh he's being protective of martennnnn

PLANS

SECRET PLANSSS

JOHN STATEMENT HDHJDGKDVJHK

Awww john

ITS LIGHTENERS

Melines to relatable

MELANIE STATEMENT

MARTIN NFSUSSTUDIY

TIMM

Aww goodbye Jarey

mmm masquerade

MARTIN!!

“sorry Elias I can't hear you there's a DOOR in the way” I love marten

Hehehe bomb

Oh god marten don't die

OH GOD THAT'S NOT WAX WORK

MARTIN NO

ELIAS FUCK YOU

Uh oh

SILLY MUSIC

WHAT'S HAPPENING

Mmm nothing is everything and everything is something

God what is happening

EYE THINGGGG

TIMMM

TIM SET OFF THE BOOM

Oh

What the fuck is this

He's not responseuve

Oh eye always watching

ELIAS STATEMENT?

(I'm listening to this for a second time)

Hehehe sad man

Oh

Oh dear

THE ELBOWS DON'T WORK

The sky?

Oh

OH

Ma ma that's not edible

I don't want the box to sing

NOT THE COFFIN

Oh tunnel

Hmmm blood

TRAIN TIME

Hmmm watching

WHERE'D SHE GO

Oh dig

DOOR

Ants?

Oh

He screams

Who are we watching?

MARTIN

What

ARE TIM AND DAISY DEAD?

Bye Eliasss

PFFFF

OH

Lucassss

YIPPEE PETER

NO TIM AND DAISY ARE DEAD

Season 4 babyyy

Oh

Poor marten

This is so sad

Oh

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MORE GOODBYE

First actual episode of season 4 :3

Oh?

WHO IS THIS

WHAT

WHERE

YOU SAW JOHN IN A DREAM?

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

Oh statement

He sees how people die funnn

“What am I?” I ask that often

Oh

OH

Ship into the middle of nowhereeeee

MEMENTO THING

Snakes?

Oh

Nevermind it's death

Why ya calm

Oh

Did you accidentally kill a bunch of people

Nope

YOU GOT A GUN?

YOU KILLED THE CAPTAIN!????

oh

OH GOD YOU KILLED EVERYONE

This is this Oliver guy

SPIDERS

Oh

That's funnn

Oh boy

Melanie (I think it's her)might have scared him off

Oh

OH

JOHNS AWAKE?

Zombieeee

I keep sending the homophobic vase because I can

oh no it was gorge

AND VISCERA

Magic tape?

JOHN!

HIII JOHN

oh

6 MONTHS

He's very confused and I can see why

Hehehe eye thing

Statement timeeee

YOU CUT SOMEBODY'S HANDS?

I think this dudes on something

Maybe

Idk any more everything is odd

YOUR BEING FOLLOWED MX STATEMENT PERSON

Oh

This person's a little silly

Awww I love John

Even though he keeps making have deep thoughts

THEY CAN'T FIND DAISY'S BODY?

Oh oh god marten are you okay buddy

Oh

Aww

He miss his boyfriend (I'm desperately waiting for them to get together)

W E B yippee

Oh god meline she's very traumatized

Oh

Oh that hurt

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED BY THINGS

(Not at the moment)

I think everyone's losing it

HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF THE ARCHIVIST NOT “Johnathan Sims head archivist” JUST THE FUCKING ARCHIVEST

EVERYONE IS EITHER DEAD, PART OF SOMETHING, FUCKING LOOSING IT OR ALL THREE.

Real honestly

It's always weird MX statement person

Oh

Is the site sentient

OH DEAD

Is this a thing of the eye?

No it was the web

Oh he's a fish kabob

I can't tell if this is the buried, flesh or end

BAGPIPES

IT'S THE PIPER

it's the slaughter

Cause everyone slaughtered each other

Pfff

Eye thing

Mmm

OH GOD

126 is the distortion

Awwww

MARTEN

The recorder is silly

DOESeter

Idk if I liself-esteemt he still will

Of course he's worried about his boyfriend

ITS THE COFFEIN

OH

oh

OH MY GOD HE CAN DO STUFF

He had killed the thing

Lot of truck

DAISYS ALIVE BTW

We have bone Turner

SPACE PART 3

Oh god that sounded ow

YIPPEE

I can't really update during school

PFFF The eye is just my brain absorbeing things cause it's never anything useful

THE TAPE RECORDER IS JUST A SINGLE FOR KNOWLEDGE

GARRY

Garry reference

God damnit John stop being creepy to strangers

The computers are eating people again

SIMON FAIRCHILD

Mmmm cult's

MELINES GOING I GOUGE HER EYES OUT SO SHE CAN LEAVE THE EYE

oh god

Oh

WHAT HAPPENED TO DAISY JUST NOW?!?

I DIDN'T WANT HER TO DIE

Oop angey Martin

Oh dear

Peter Lucas is an asshole

Into the lonely

PFFF

LOVE THAT

John is so smart

THAT'S SOME OF THE GAYEST SHIT EVER

Oh god the eye opens

They gay

SEASON 5 BABY

Oh

PFFF

Aww

Stop being depressed

TF you mean I'm faceless

PFFF

Ah the not Sasha

Oh it pissed of John

“Ceaseless watcher turn your gaze on this wretched thing” HE SAID THE THING

Martens broken

They broke Marten

I think it the lonely

Oh

Oh god he's getting relatable

HE JUST KEEPS HATING THE CHAIRS 😭

“I am marten blackwood and I'm not alone anymore” HAD ME SOBBING

It's the bone man idk what his name is but I hate his voice

Helen just wants to have fun

Who the fuck is doctor David

I didn't realize they could get any gayer

THEY ACTUALLY FELT TIRED AND HUNGRY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE FUCK IF I KNOW

AND THAT FREAKY PIRATE AND WEB WOMEN ARE THERE

(They also just like feel asleep lol)

Doctor doe Jane is silly

Silly

HIII Helen!!!

“You've always said you were Helen!”

“I am! I also ate her… it's really simple if you don't think about it”

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

George and Melina are backkkk

And Meline fucking slays

The gays are arguing

DOSE ANNABELLE OWN THE TAPES?!?!

Christ that is scary

“Shocker, I have self esteem issues. Not the point” I am Martin

This is adorable and sad

1 MORE EPISODE

Oh

Oh god John

Oh he's pleading

Oh

OH MY GOD

HOLY SHIT

SHIT

OH

OH DEAR

IS JON OK

Oh

That's scary

Statement

This doesn't sound like a tape

Oh god

He's going to die

I'm going to cry

He's going to kill him

I'm actually going to start crying

Oh god

Simon?

Oh

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

does it not bother you that your position on trans people is the one consistently held and demonstrated by fascists? does it turn your stomach when nazis come to rallies for causes you believe in? i only hope you feel some remorse for being such a vile person

Does it bother you that Ben Shapiro supports gay marriage? Are you going to stand against gay marriage because a conservative man supports it? No? Do you think that makes you vile?

How about this:

You have two people who support abortion. One person supports abortion because they hate children, think that the world should end, and people should stop reproducing.

The second person supports abortion because they think women should have full control over their own bodies.

These people both support abortion but are they really the exact same? Can you look me in the eye and say that they really support the same exact thing?

The things is: I don't believe what fascists do. I have no problem with men who are feminine. I have no problem with women who are masculine. I don't want a world where every man is Kratos and every woman is Jessica rabbit. Fascists and nazi's don't care that someone is trans. Do you think they'd be happy with a man who wears women's clothing? Do you think they love effeminate gay men? You think they'd love seeing hairy butch dykes everywhere? Do you think their issue is REALLY with trans people in general? Or is it people not living up to their assigned, religion based, gender roles?

I have no problem with men who wear make up or nail polish or who love other men. I have no issue with butch lesbians who talk loudly about wanting to eat pussy. It genuinely makes me very happy to see gnc gay people out and about, regardless of it they're gay men or lesbians. It's instant vibes every single time.

How about another question for you, anon. Does it not bother you that teenage girls are being told that teenage males should be allowed access to their dressing rooms just because they say they "feel" like a girl? Does the discomfort and fear of those girls not churn your stomach? Do you have zero sympathy? Do the feelings of girls and women take a backseat to the feelings of men? Does it bother you that gay people are being fed homophobic rhetoric in a progressive package? Does it bother you that gnc kids are being told that they're doing boy/girlhood wrong and they should transition because no boy/girl would dare act how they do? Does it bother you that males are openly talking about wanting to fuck lesbians and how lesbians make their dick hard? Does it bother you that gay men are being told they're missing out on not eating pussy? Does it bother you that gay people are being called bad people for not liking the opposite sex?

Because it bothers me. If that reads as me having an issue with trans people then I think that says more about your ideology than mine.

[kedreeva]

If I could kill the reply feature on this webbed site, I would.

[unopenablebox]

also. what would authors even do if they couldn't have jewish characters alert other characters about how they don't eat pork

[obstinatecondolement]

Not to be all "this is an Only Murders in the Building blog now" but apparently since yesterday I have reached a point of no longer being satisfied with being part of a two-person fandom irl with my sister and I need to Discuss things with you all.

Anyway. Currently thinking about how Theo Dimas is a) Greek and b) Deaf—both cultures that are very physically demonstrative—and that he is. Like that.

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

[llycaons]

I'm finally watching s2 for real. the atmosphere IS very fun and true to the book, but like...not to be a killjoy but I hate that hc let that guy gamble his daughter's life. I hate it so much and it's bullshit that the justification of 'it's mutually consensual' is the last we hear about it. that woman never agreed to this! you can't bet other people like you own them! that might be the worst thing hc ever does like genuinely I don't understand why more people don't talk about it like he's at the head of an organization that allows people to use other human beings as bartering chips...or at least lets the men use their female family members. but he's treated in the fandom (and canon) like all his behavior is justified bc he's funny and sexy and devoted like...jesus christ. I feel so wild like how have I never seen anyone talk about this

[moe-broey]

I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)

But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.

[mangopit]

i think this will make the girlies mad but it is simply my subjective truth. it is my ick and imo a red flag if someone must look good always, all the time. if you are unable to be seen in public or on social media without flattering clothing/makeup, i think you care too much about surface level things to be my close friend. like maybe you're insecure about something and trying to hide it. but ultimately my view is that your approach to things that unnerve you is one of avoidance and deflection, and that is a friend red flag to me

[artemx746]

Do people not realise that a person doesn't suddenly gain full maturity and knowledge of everything when they turn 18?

[exausta-verytired]

this is far from the worse one it's the example I give for not being explicit but like I fully internalized the word "nymphet" when I was young I thought that was a real thing and a normal way of refering to myself because I could tell there was something different between me and the normal happy kids but I didn't know how to say "adultification, religious racism and anticomunism made men objectify me and the fact I was already 'broken' made them comfortable enough with just being another rapist instead of the first one" so I just used that instead

[leatherbookmark]

my dream portrayal of jgy is that he's an independant character with his own strengths (not lxc's sweet little child-birthing wifey) that get recognition and appreciation (and that aren't 'being a good mommy/rabid event planner, haha, such a control freak this a-yao'), who deserves and gets love (but isn't just a tiny lovely thing whose only purpose is-- do you get my point already i wonder), who's allowed to be in a bad mood (but isn't defined by those moments, which is very important to me personally), but who isn't a cruel or bad person (and whose attempts at explaining his situation to others are taken seriously, and not as just him trying to Manipulate Others As Usual because, and i might be controversial but idqc, if i'm to call a character a gaslighting manipulator i'd like to see cases of him a/ doing it b/ succesfully c/ often, and no, "well he conned lxc into thinking he's not an evil murderous twink, SOMEHOW" doesn't count)

and my problem is that it's, well, as dreams usually are, rather unattainable

[musical-chick-13]

.

[2-kamikou-1]

can nobody see how agonizing this fucking feels