#This is specifically in book 2 when he sees Helen and tries to kill her and has to be stopped

[notacluedo]

✨Furor✨

and some annotations from the Aeneid bc we finished it in class

[misscrazyfangirl321]

*Chinhands* tell me about the au where will is a grimm?

Shoutout to you and @octaviaember for being absolutely fabulous. 

SO, Will as a Grimm AU. 

1. This is more of a fusion than a proper crossover; while the characters of Grimm do technically exist in this story, they’ll at most make cameos. I’m mostly borrowing the universe and lore. 

2. Helen Magnus doesn’t know about Wesen. Not really, anyway. Since their true face can only be seen by Grimms unless Wesen choose to be seen, she simply has no way of knowing. She might have a hunch about one or two specific kinds of Wesen, mostly from secondhand accounts, but she mentally processes them more like HAPs: shapeshifting Abnormals. She certainly has no idea about an entire race of human beings living in amongst everyone else, ​hiding their true forms. She also doesn’t know about Grimms.

3. Grimms absolutely know about Helen Magnus. They were aware of her father’s work back in the day, and they’re aware of her (at least as they see her): The self-made queen of monsters, determined to protect the hideous things of the world. Seeing as Grimms are meant to kill them mercilessly, it’s in their best interest that she never find out about Grimms and Wesen. 

4. Grimms do know about Abnormals, but they consider those outside of their jurisdiction, plus they don’t want to risk crossing paths with Helen Magnus. She handles Abnormals, they handle Wesen, and everything is neat and separate. 

5. Will’s mother is a Grimm. His father has no idea.

6. When Will is 8 years old, he tells everyone that a monster killed his mother. His father, at a loss for how to help the traumatized boy, brings his wife’s sister to live with them both for a little while. 

7. Will’s aunt, Cindy, is as much a Grimm as Mary Anne was. She’s not surprised to hear that a monster killed her sister, but she is a little surprised that Will saw it. Grimm powers kick in younger in women than men, after all, and they almost never kick in for anyone quite that young. Still, she tries to console Will, and begins to tell him about the incredible truth of the world.

8. This doesn’t last long. Soon, Will’s father learns of the stories Cindy is telling Will, and he’s furious, feeling she’s just feeding Will’s confusion. So he sends her away. Still, though, Will never forgets. He also doesn’t see a monster again for a long time. 

9. Years later, he’s working for the Old City police department when he sees his first woge. It’s vastly different from whatever killed his mother, but it’s enough to completely freak him out. 

10. His aunt Cindy shows up not long after, terribly ill, with a bunch of supplies, old books, and the truth. She tells him as much as she can-about his legacy, his new abilities, and Wesen-before she dies, but she doesn’t think until the last moment to tell him about Helen Magnus. In fact, her last words are, “Oh! Don’t forget, Helen Magnus must-” 

11. Will doesn’t know who Helen Magnus is, or what she must do. He doesn’t really care. His world has just turned on its head for the second time in his life. He’d long-doubted the stories his aunt told him as a child, after all, but now it seems that they’re all true. Monsters are real, and he’s supposed to kill them.

12. This story could have taken a very dark turn, but thankfully, the next woge he sees belongs to a 12 year old girl. She’s a witness in one of his cases, and she’s upset, arms wrapped around herself. When she woges, and sees that he’s a Grimm, she basically ends up crying on the floor, begging him not to hurt her. He realizes then and there that whatever his aunt told him, it can’t be as simple as killing people. Not people like this. So he kneels down beside the girl, and quietly assures her that he isn’t going to hurt her, and he’s trying to help her.  

13. One year later, he’s mostly settled into life as a Grimm and a cop. He doesn’t have the Big Bad Wolf as his best friend/resource, so he’s had to figure a lot of it out on his own, but he’s doing okay. He helps the Wesen that need it, protects people as much as he can, and kills as rarely as possible. He’s also making his way through the Books of Grimms, but he has yet to make it to the entry on Helen Magnus. 

14. Then, one day, he sees a boy unlike anything he’s ever seen. The child doesn’t woge, but he doesn’t move like a human, and Will doesn’t quite understand what he’s seeing. He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice the car coming until it’s too late. 

15. His confrontation with Helen Magnus goes a bit differently, for a few different reasons. One, he’s automatically a little unsure of her because of his aunt’s words, and two, when she starts hinting at knowing what happened to his mother, he’s not the least bit thrown. 

16. “Yeah, yeah, shapeshifting monsters, Wesen, Grimms. I’ve got the t-shirt, okay? But what was that boy? He’s not like any Wesen I’ve ever seen.”

“.... What on earth are you talking about?” 

17. It takes them a little while to trust each other, but eventually, he tells her about Wesen and Grimms, and she tells him about Abnormals. She tells him that the creature that killed his mother that night was not a Wesen, but a rare species of lizard Abnormal. He’s skeptical at first, but when she shows him the creature, he’s forced to concede that it definitely isn’t Wesen. 

18. They work together to help the boy, and at the end of the case, she offers him a job.

19. It’s less a mentor/mentee relationship, and more a true partnership; she opens a world to him, he opens a world to her, and they work together to protect others. (Six generations of Grimms are rolling in their graves, but Will and Helen are blissfully unaware of that.) 

20. There are occasionally questions of jurisdiction-should he take lead on Wesen cases?-or tactics-he may not kill often, but he has no problems using his reputation as a Grimm to threaten uncooperative Wesen if he feels it’s the best way to protect others-but overall, they make an excellent team. 

21. Several years into their partnership, they finally reach the book that mentions her. It describes, in detail, how important it is that she never know about Wesen and Grimms. They just laugh.

22. As for other characters, most of the Sanctuary characters are still what they are, but Kate is definitely some sort of Wesen. 

[lovelyirony]

Moony-Eyed

@bironfam i hope this is okay! 

Tony didn’t think that their new astronaut was going to be anything special. 

Well. 

That’s a lie. 

You kind of have to be special if you’re going to be an astronaut for NASA. You have to keep your cool, have good eyesight, and be okay with the possibility of dying. Maybe. Maybe you have to be cool with that. 

Tony is rather good at his job. From revolutionizing how space suits are made to making the functions of the ship easier to manage, Tony is NASA’s secret weapon, the handyman of all handymen. 

He’s usually squirreled away in his workshop, at his apartment that he honestly needs to clean far more than he does, or arguing with Potts about why he needs eight different coffee mugs. 

They know him as a guy who doesn’t exactly give a rat’s ass about the chain of command, or dress code. 

“You can’t fire me,” he had told Happy, after he had tried once again to stop Tony from entering areas containing sensitive information in sweatpants and a sweatshirt that proclaimed him the “MIT class of 1992.” 

Tony is good at his job, nearly too good. He likes it that way. 

But back to the astronaut. 

Danvers had taken leave to take care of her family, and honestly? Space usually isn’t a lifetime event for astronauts. You see too much of it, you need time away. A lot of time away. 

Pepper is giddy. She loved Carol, but Carol was happily married with a baby girl, and this one? This one wasn’t. 

Not that Pepper was looking for anyone. No, she and her partner Nat had standing date nights every Saturday evening, and she loved them too much to even think about anything else. 

But Tony? Tony needed someone. He never really dated anybody, at least not anybody that he genuinely liked. 

Stark was a powerful name, and it got tossed around a little bit, but Tony mostly kept to himself and only responded to it when he was at a party or Happy was mad at him for forgetting his ID badge yet again. 

James Rhodes was a nicely built man with a strong, confident aura, and single. 

(Pepper had checked.) 

She thought that he and Tony would get along quite well, if anything. 

James is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He’d rather just get to work on what he needs to do. Getting into the air is one of the best feelings, and the sooner he can experience it, the sooner he’ll be fine. 

He always pushed the limits, and space is just the last limit he gets to push. He’s excited. He’s always wanted to work for NASA, be on their roster of astronauts. He wants little kids who identify with him to know that they can do it too. 

So he’s ready to work with the best and brightest of their era. 

“Where the fuck are my nachos?!” 

His head whips around to a man who is wearing an ill-fitting cardigan (that is most likely not his), old jeans that have what look to be equations written on one thigh, and glasses that are most definitely broken sitting at an angle. 

“Your nachos were too close to the computers,” one woman says without looking up. “Stop bringing nachos here or I’m going to fucking kill you.” 

“You can’t kill me,” the man retorts. 

“Tony,” comes another voice. James turns and sees who must be Pepper Potts. “Go to your office. Now. Change your pants, you wrote on them again.” 

“I did?” 

He looks down and swears. 

“Son of a bitch!” He then looks at Jim. “Wait, who are you? Are you the new astronaut?” 

“Uh, yes? I’m James.” 

He sticks out his hand. 

Who seems to be Tony stares at his hand. 

“Your name is seriously James?” 

“Do you think I’m bad at jokes?” he asks, eyebrows raised. 

Tony grins. 

“No, I think you’re gonna be a riot. But I’m not calling you James.” 

“Jim, then.” 

“No,” Tony says. “You’re not an old man, you’re still attractive.” 

His eyebrows raise. 

Tony’s face pales. 

“I’m going to. Go. I have math on my pants.” 

Pepper snorts, readjusting her grip on her clipboard. 

“Welcome to NASA, Colonel Rhodes. I can promise you that we don’t usually yell about our lunch location or write on articles of clothing.” 

- 

Surprisingly, James doesn’t see Tony for two weeks. Apparently, he’s been working outside with a couple of the interns to calculate some stuff, rework some of the older ships for experience, and stay out of the way of Pepper, who says that he’s attempting to murder her via headaches to deal with. 

He seems interesting, however. There are sticky notes and papers all over the offices and breakrooms reminding people of what Tony had for breakfast/lunch/dinner, or where the extra coffee supplies are. 

“You provide for him?” he asks Pepper one time. 

“He gets too much into his own head sometimes,” Pepper says. “He focuses too much on a program or an improvement and forgets that he works around other people. You wouldn’t believe how many times we had miniature science experiments based off of lunches that he would leave in the fridge.” 

Rhodes nods. “Well. I’ll look forward to working with him.” 

- 

Tony has been working outside of the office for two reasons: 

1.) To legitimately help the interns. (Ned and Peter are making improvements!) 

2.) James Rhodes is the hottest guy on earth. Maybe in the universe. For real. Seriously. 

He hates Pepper for this. Didn’t even tell Tony what the new astronaut looked like, and then shows up with a god of a man. Rude and unfair. 

And he had to be the dumbass with the equation on his pants. 

He didn’t even have spare pants! He had to stay in his office for the whole day because the equation was actually really important and he needed it. 

“Why didn’t you just transfer it over on paper?” Bruce asks over the phone. Bruce is his friend who works in a technically classified, off-the-books, not-exactly-government-issued building. He’s cool. He also points out the obvious. 

“I’m the biggest idiot on the planet,” Tony groans. “There was just a new guy at work, and he threw me off balance, so-” 

“What’s he look like?” 

“Why, you not crushing on that hot Nordic space dude?” 

“No, still am. But I still remember when Barton came to work for you guys and you didn’t know that his name wasn’t George until about six months into him working there.” 

“In my defense, he works mostly with physical therapy and prep for no gravity,” Tony says. “I work with math and shit.” 

“Still,” Bruce says. “You wouldn’t have pointed him out if you didn’t think he was cute. What’s he like?” 

“I...don’t exactly know.” 

“Oh my god, you’ve been avoiding him?” 

“Oh what, like you didn’t jump out of a window when Thor almost saw you in a tank top?” 

“I have a farmer’s tan! Totally different circumstance!” 

“Is it?” 

“I hate you.” 

“Get to dating Thor and then we’ll talk again. Have fun re-revolutionizing green energy, Dr. Banner.” 

“Look to the stars, Tony.” 

- 

James has to get fitted for his suit. 

He faces Tony, who looks quite different from when he first saw him. His hair is somewhat less messy, he has one of those geeky NASA-logo shirts that they sell at Target, and is wearing khaki pants with about a million different pockets. 

(Something in his mind is whispering that he definitely shouldn’t find him attractive. But he will anyways.) 

“Alright space-cowboy, let’s get your measurements,” Tony says. “You feeling okay today?” 

“Right as rain.” 

“Rain is never good, sunshine,” Tony quips. “Now, about your nickname from me...hm. Rhodey.” 

“How’d you figure that out?” 

“Substituted the ‘s’ for a ‘y’, just simple stuff,” he says with a shrug. “You approve?” 

“I...guess.” 

“Good. Now Rhodey, how are you feeling?” 

“Like sunshine and gumdrops,” he responds sarcastically. 

Tony smiles, and damn if it makes his heart thump a bit. 

“Better answer, soldier. Extend those arms, please.” 

Tony smells really nice. Subtle cologne and clean laundry. Rhodey finds that he likes it. 

“How’ve you been doing, Tony?” 

“Like a gentle breeze on a day that’s seventy-two degrees,” Tony answers. “Work’s been good today. Helen made tacos.” 

“I had some of those, they were pretty good.” 

“Mm,” Tony answers. “Legs a bit more apart, thank you.” 

Rhodey shifts his stance a little bit, carefully not watching Tony bend down just a tad to get the bottom of his foot. 

(But oof, that was hard.) 

Tony comes back up again, looking into Rhodey’s eyes. For a moment, for a brief moment, his breath is taken away. 

“I need to wrap my measuring tape around your waist. You okay with that?” 

“More than.” 

“Don’t get saucy,” Tony winks. “No one likes more than one floozy at the office, and that’s what got me this job anyways.” 

Rhodey lets out a laugh, and Tony grins. 

He likes making him laugh. Likes it more than he should. 

- 

They spend more and more time together. Tony always makes adjustments, Rhodey realizes that Tony doesn’t exactly keep track of when he eats, so they have lunch together. 

They like it a lot. 

On good-weather days, they eat outside on a bench. Tony leans against one said, foot brushing Rhodey���s calf, and Rhodey doesn’t really mind because he’ll lean over occasionally and steal whatever Tony’s eating. 

“This is theft, you know.” 

“You eat like a bird, what do you know about food theft?” 

Tony almost always stays later than anyone else except for nights with Rhodey. 

Once a month, they have dinner together. Rhodey’s new to the area and Tony’s almost never social with anyone, so they’ve been working through a list of the three-star-rated restaurants and seeing which ones they like. 

“It’s kind of like a date,” Pepper says, on her monthly hangout with Tony (and also kind of a clean-up party for his house). 

“Not dates,” Tony says. “Just friends. I’m sure he has his eye on someone in or out of the office.” 

“Like you?” 

“His first impression of me was me writing an equation on my pair of jeans, and then I haven’t exactly upgraded my style since,” Tony deadpans. “He’s seen me in neon orange sweatpants, Pep. You don’t exactly come back from that.” 

“Maybe he likes you for who you are!” 

“God that’s such a bullshit answer,” Tony whines. “You sound like a straight-to-video movie that came out in 1997!” 

“That’s too specific.” 

“And? You still get the point!” 

Pepper flings a pillow his way. 

“Where is your wine?” 

“In the same cabinet you always leave it.” 

“Goody.” 

While Pepper sways to bed, Tony thinks about what she said. 

It could be possible. Tony had never exactly asked him about himself in that capacity, but Rhodey never had an odd reaction to a statement that involved talking about a partner of the same-sex or a one-liner about it. 

Maybe? 

...no. 

Guys like Rhodey deserved someone better than someone who forgot to eat lunch four out of the seven days of the week. (And maybe four was being generous.) 

- 

On the flipside, Rhodey was currently telling his woes to Carol, who was laughing at him. 

“You nerd!” she says. “You like Tony, and you’ve done nothing about it? Have you even told him that you also like guys? Cuffed your pants?” 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I just...why would he like someone like me? I’m...boring.” 

“You’re not boring,” Carol says. 

“Yeah you are!” Maria calls from the kitchen. “You’re very boring, Mr. ‘Only-Drinks-Black-Coffee’!” 

Carol giggles. 

“Maybe Maria has a point. Maybe.” 

Rhodey groans, leaning against the couch. 

“I’m so fucked.” 

“On the contrary-” 

“Oh shut up.” 

- 

Pepper is tired of people’s problems. They’re getting closer and closer to launch, and Clint’s out sick and Helen is being weird again, and Jane is off somewhere to a secret government-but-not-government launch to discuss things with two potential boyfriends. (Maybe boyfriends. Maybe.) 

Tony is getting stressed. 

Usually, he’s the only one who’s fine during a launch. He’s still cracking jokes, making fun events, and calming down people who are a bit too nervous. 

But usually, he’s not as close to the astronaut as this. 

He’s been thinking about the accidents they’ve had over the years. He doesn’t want a repeat. He’s been pulling all-nighters, avoiding sleep, and checking in on Rhodey consistently, to the point where Rhodey has to drag him outside and tell him that things will be fine. 

(In Pepper’s professional opinion, they’d be fine if they just did a goodbye kiss or whatever, but okay.) 

Tony’s getting into his own head. 

So is Rhodey. 

He’s going to be gone for a long time. He’s going to miss the holidays. And Tony won’t be able to talk to him everyday. 

“You should tell him,” Pepper murmurs. “I think you both would benefit from it.” 

“I’m not going to play that unfair card,” Rhodey murmurs back. “I either confess my love and go to a dangerous mission knowing that he loves me back and I said it when I can’t return, or he doesn’t and I just played a guilt-trip card.” 

“It’s not like that.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

Rhodey shakes his head. 

“I...I can’t do that to him. Wouldn’t be right. After the mission.” 

“After, then,” Pepper says. “When you come home.” 

Rhodey grins. 

- 

The day of launch happens far quicker than anyone wants it to, most of all Tony. 

Pepper actually kicked him out of his office, told him to shower, and wear something nice for once. 

“Make sure he knows he has someone to come home to,” Pepper says. “Wear your turtleneck!” 

“It’s only September,” Tony scowls. “And he’s his own person who’s about to launch himself into space.” 

“He will be fine,” Pepper says. “With your research and work, we’ve cut down overlooked mistakes by about forty percent.” 

“Still not half.” 

“Because we’re NASA,” Pepper sniffs. “Our mistakes matter more, so we make less of them.” 

Tony nods. 

-

He ends up almost being late to the launch because of Pepper’s stupid wardrobe advice. 

He’s wearing his nicest pair of pants, a button-up that’s been at the back of his closet for quite some time, and he’s feeling stupid because he had to play AC/DC in the car so he would actually focus on what was going on. 

Now he’s waiting for Rhodey to exit wearing the space suit that he made and to tell everyone that it was an honor and a privilege to be going to space where things happen and Tony can’t be there to help. 

Life sucks. 

But it goes on, and there’s Rhodey in the brilliantly-designed suit, and Tony’s never been more proud and more sad, but he sucks up his tears and walks up anyways. 

“Hey space-cowboy. Ready to explore the frontier?” 

“As ever,” Rhodey says. “You ready to forget to eat your lunch all over again?” 

Tony smiles. 

“You’ll have to check in with me soon, then,” Tony says. “Cut the mission short?” 

Rhodey laughs. 

“Wish I could. But I’ll send you pictures,” he says. “I promise.” 

Tony stops for a moment, smile dropping from his face. 

“Promise me one more thing.” 

“Anything,” Rhodey says. “Anything you want.”  

“Come back safe. Swear to me that you will.” 

Rhodey grins. 

“Safe and sound, honey. Safe and sound.” 

Tony watches him board the ship, wave to the cameras, and wink at him. 

He rolls his eyes, but blows a kiss anyways. 

-

Tony’s a nervous wreck. 

Pepper has decided that Rhodey needs to not go on missions anymore, or at least take Tony with him because he’s annoying. 

“Can you stop crying on the second floor bathroom? It’s getting annoying,” Pepper says. “Clint says he can hear you and feels bad.” 

“Well how are we supposed to know that Rhodey’s okay?!” Tony says. “For all I know, he could be dead!” 

“I really hope you don’t mean that,” comes a voice from behind. 

Tony whips around, seeing Rhodey’s grainy face from the big screen. 

“You bitch!” 

He laughs, and it doesn’t sound real, but he can see him. 

“Hey Tony. You been making sure no one is pissed at you for forgetting your dinner in the fridge?” 

“Well, now I will,” he admits. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” Rhodey smiles. “How’s everything been down there?” 

“Boring,” Tony says. “When are you coming back?” 

“I got about two more months,” Rhodey says. “And then I’ll be back.” 

“Quit hogging all the screen time,” Natasha teases. “You lovebirds can have your moment on earth.” 

Tony blinks. 

“What.” 

But by that time, Natasha and Sam have already been asking a million questions, and Pepper is filling Rhodey in on what he’s missed. 

Tony is still stuck on the whole ‘lovebirds’ thing that Natasha suggested. 

...that couldn’t be possible. And yet if other people saw it that way...

“Tony? Tony?” 

He blinks again, looking back up at the screen. 

Rhodey is smiling at him, that smile that means that he’s happy to see someone. 

“I’ll see you soon, honey.” 

“Right back at you, space-cowboy.” 

The screen goes to black, and Tony smiles a bit. 

“Aw, you nerd,” Clint teases. “So, you gonna ask him out on a date?” 

“Clint, I will cut off your leg,” Tony says cheerily. “I have to go finish some paperwork!” 

Tony’s done all of his paperwork, it’s one of the few times that Pepper’s had it done on time. 

He has to keep doing things to stop thinking about Rhodey. 

-

He writes him letters. He knows that he won’t ever read them, but writing letters helps and sometimes it makes his hands less jittery. 

He’s not ever going to send them. Ever. Letters are cheesy and they feel...personal. 

Pepper tells him that he’s being lame. 

“I’m not being lame!” Tony cries. “I am just. Protecting myself!” 

“You have the reasoning of a Jane Austen love interest,” she says flatly. “I swear if you don’t tell him, then I’ll meddle. And you know how bad I am when I meddle.” 

“You literally have made things so much worse for so many people,” Tony responds. 

“Not worse, per se.” 

“Oh right, how could I forget?” Tony exclaims sarcastically. “You made things the worst.” 

“If we weren’t such good friends, you’d be dead,” Pepper says. 

“Then let’s be worst enemies,” Tony mutters. “You still ready for pizza night?” 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Pepper says. “Meet at your place at seven, right?” 

“Right.” 

-

Here is what Tony does not know: Rhodey’s coming back down earlier than expected, and Pepper knows this. 

So she’s been busying Tony with work while she’s acclimating Rhodey to life on earth again. 

“Has he really missed me?” Rhodey asks for about the twentieth time in about two hours. 

“Yes,” Pepper says. “I hope these aren’t your talking points for your interviews. If people know you’re this much of a love-struck idiot in real life, they won’t take you seriously.” 

“I just missed him!” 

“Oh sure,” she responds, rolling her eyes. “And I’m sure you’ll tell the news reporters that you missed me with as many stars in your eyes as now. You like him, you absolute geek.” 

“Well, maybe a little,” Rhodey mutters. “But you’re sure he’ll like the surprise?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

-

Tony is having, perhaps, the worst day in his life. Maybe in history, if he’s being quite honest. 

His car, for one thing, won’t start for more than is done-away-with concern, so he has to call Pepper and say that he’s going to be late since he has to fix his own car. 

“Will you get coffee on the way here?” Pepper asks. 

“Your usual order?” 

“Yeah, you know the drill.” 

Then the line is long because some stupid person wanted to complain, and Tony was this close to just threatening to buy the entire store to make it stop, and he cried on his way to work because he saw a duck cross the road and it reminded him of how Rhodey crashed his first car avoiding a duck that was crossing the road. 

Yeah. It’s rough. 

Then he parks in the wrong parking spot because some asshole with a stupid rental car took his usual spot, and then he stepped in a puddle. 

He hates today. 

“Pepper!” he declares as he enters the building. “I wore jeans today, I got your coffee, and I’m already done with the day. I swear to god if one more unexpected thing happens, I’ll just say ‘fuck it’ and go work for the Soviets!” 

“The Soviets aren’t a thing, Tones.” 

He knows that voice. 

He fucking knows that voice. He isn’t supposed to be back from that mission for another month. 

Tony doesn’t turn around. 

“I’m hallucinating. Oh my god, I’m hallucinating.” 

Hands wrap around his neck, hugging him. 

“This feel like a hallucination?” 

(Okay so Tony drops the coffee.) 

Rhodey’s smile is blinding, and he’s...he’s here. Right in front of him with those not-supposed-to-be-that-hot polo shirts, those eyes that he could get lost in, and just...

Well. 

He hugs him and he hugs him tightly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back so soon?!” 

“Pepper organized it,” Rhodey says, giddy. “Decided it would be a nice surprise for you.” 

Tony looks over at Pepper, who’s trying to hide a grin behind her hands. 

“Pepper if I wasn’t so over-the-moon right now, your heels would be snapped.” 

She shrugs. 

“Worth it. You requested today off, by the way.” She winks as she turns back to her office. 

“Well, what do you say?” Rhodey asked. “Help me get used to having my feet back on the ground?” 

Tony grins. 

“Dinner sounds like a good start. Gotta get you some good earth food, none of that dehydrated crap.” 

“Do you know how long it’s been since I had a decent slice of pizza?” 

Tony grins. 

“I can fix that.” 

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 60]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27

Okay. Not sure how long I’ll go today, but let’s work on this for a bit. Just gotta finish this side quest and then we can get back to the plot. ;)

Chapter 28

Thomas did not have to be told that something had gotten Helen Heart in a tizzy. He could tell just by the amount of food she had sent up on his dinner tray. She always made and pushed more food when she was stressed, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he found both a hearty serving of roast beef and a mini chicken pot pie on his plate along with three vegetable side dishes and a side of macaroni and cheese.

He could also guess what had happened to illicit such a response. Thomas had caught up to Jeffers Deknis in his garden and they’d spoken at length about Logan and Patton’s new friend.

There was no way that after said discussion, Jeff had not mentioned Virgil (and more importantly his friendship with Patton) to Helen during their daily gossip sessions. There was also no way that Helen had heard the words “child” and “too small” in a sentence and hadn’t flipped. From there the inevitable sequence of events was clear: Patton went home, Helen talked his ear off until he agreed to bring Virgil to meet her, Helen met him and immediately committed herself to making sure he ate three square meals a day as well as multiple snacks.

Thomas had sussed all of that out before the kitchen worker bringing him his dinner had mentioned what had happened that day.

 That in mind, he decided to wait until after dinner should have been cleaned up before walking his own dinner leftovers down to the kitchens.

Thomas was unsurprised to see Jeff already in the kitchen. He was sat at a small table off to the side where kitchen workers usually took their breaks. The only person other than Jeff and Helen left in the kitchen was a dishwasher who was finishing up. Helen usually spent a couple of hours after dinner in her kitchen or her office organizing for the next day and in case anyone needed food on an off hour, and then there was a night cook who would take over so she could go back to her set of rooms.

 Helen took the tray of leftovers from Thomas herself and shooed the dishwasher out of the way. “I’ll handle the rest myself,” she told the girl. “You can leave.”

She nodded and started to take her apron off. Helen dumped the tray on the counter without care and turned back around to usher Thomas into one of the kitchen chairs. Thomas went willingly and she turned to fill the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.

“It take it she met Virgil,” Thomas said to Jeff.

“She’s adopted Virgil,” Jeff replied, taking a bite out of a cookie.

 “And what of it?” she asked. “Someone obviously needs to feed the boy. Speaking of, you’re grounding your son by the way.”

Thomas took one of the cookies for himself. “Why am I grounding Logan?” he asked.

“He was worried enough about his health to make him a nutrition potion, but still did not bring him to me,” she harrumphed.

“I see,” Thomas replied.

“In Logan’s defense,” Jeff interrupted. “the boy seems rather timid. He may have worried about you scaring him off.”

Helen slapped him with a dishtowel.

“Actually,” Jeff continued. “From what I’ve gathered he didn’t have contact with anyone since the time I saw him a couple of weeks ago until now.”

 “Any adults,” Thomas corrected with a frown. “I’m pretty sure he, Patton, and Logan must have been around each other considering how close they already seem to be.” He paused, “Logan implied he wasn’t particularly… comfortable around adults.”

“I did get that impression, yes,” Helen said, pouring the hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and carrying it and some cups over to the table.

“He was incredibly jumpy,” Jeff confirmed. “I imagine he does not have good experiences with many people, but he seems to have grown attached to Logan and Patton. He defers to them in most things and seemed a bit protective.

 “Where did he come from?” Thomas asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jeff said. “I found him hiding in the garden shed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Did he sneak in?” Thomas asked.

“That’s what I would have thought,” Jeff replied, “but when I asked, he said he wasn’t trying to steal anything and that he was supposed to be in the castle. So, I’d assumed that meant he was the child of someone living in the caste.”

“But neither of us could find anyone who knew him,” Helen said. “Of course, we didn’t even know his name until now.” She seemed to decide the tea leaves had sat long enough because she started to pour them each a cup of tea.

Thomas took a sip. “Earl Grey,” he commented. “I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.” It was her ‘planning tea.’

 “We need a plan,” she said, “but we’re going to have to be gentle.”

“At least with Virgil,” Jeff said.

Thomas laughed lightly, “and what do you plan to do with the other two?”

“I have my ways.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “You say that,” she said, “but you’re too soft. The two of them learned to run circles around you and your powers years ago.”

“We should talk to them though,” Thomas said. “Separately from Virgil.”

“We should,” Helen agreed. “I already spoke to Patton a bit yesterday, but I will again. We should see if we can ask around and find out why he’s in the castle. We don’t even know how long he’s lived here. Or who brought him here.” The look on her face told Thomas she wanted to have a talk with his guardians whoever and wherever they were.

 Helen took a drink of tea, it seemed to calm herself. “We need to make sure whatever has been happening to him is not happening in these walls,” she said.

Thomas had honestly… not thought about that. He’d assumed whatever made Virgil so skittish was in the past, but it was possible that it was ongoing. The thought made him sick.

“Perhaps you should try to talk to him, Thomas,” Helen suggested.

Thomas winced. “I am not sure that is a good idea...”

“Why not?”

“We don’t have the best track record… I don’t think me being around him would be a good idea.”

 “Oh, please, Thomas,” Helen said disbelievingly.

“No, you don’t understand,” Thomas said. “He seems disproportionately afraid of me. I think it’s a mix of me being king and how we met.”

“How did you meet?” Helen asked.

“I… gave him a bit of a fright,” Thomas admitted. “Logan and Patton weren’t in the room and I didn’t know who he was. He… ended up under the bed. Then… the second time I saw him he accidently ran into me. He freaked out again.” The memory still made Thomas feel gross. It also made him think there was a lot more to his backstory than the three of them understood.

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“Perhaps Jeff can try to talk to him then,” Helen said. “It sounds like he was calmest around you. I’ll push Patton towards taking him to the garden more often. I bet fresh air would do him some good anyway.”

Jeff nodded. “I will try to talk to him a bit more.”

“Great,” Helen said, but Thomas already knew the conversation wasn’t over. “Now we need to talk about strategic events to throw over the next few months that Patton and Logan to invite Virgil to. We’ll start slow, but we need to make sure he feels welcome in the castle.”

Thomas met Jeff’s eyes. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 29

Virgil finished eating the breakfast Patton’s mom had sent for him. It had been going on a week since she’d made the menu for him. She sent up little cards with each meal and he was supposed to rate each thing she sent on a scale from 1-5. Logan would read it to him before he ate, and Virgil mark the little box on the card. Usually, he would put a 4 for everything (he had tried to do 5, but Logan had told him 5 was reserved for things like chicken alfredo). Three was for things that he was neutral on, 2 was for things he didn’t like but could tolerate, and 1 was for things he didn’t like. So far, the only 3 was the unseasoned porridge she’d sent one day.

 “Finished?” Logan asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil said.

“What would you like to do today?” Logan asked. “Patton is busy until after lunch, and then we thought you might like to go back to the garden again. It’s supposed to drop in temperature over the next few days, so it will be the last good day for it.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I don’t care what we do today though.”

“Well, there are a few options,” Logan said.

“What do you want to do?” Virgil asked.

Logan made an expression, and Virgil titled his head. “I’m don’t have anything in particular I want to do,” he said.

“You’re lying,” Virgil said immediately.

 “You would not be interested in the activity I wish to partake in,” Logan said.

Virgil squinted at him. “I’d be interested in laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.”

Logan chuckled. “No, truly. The activity I would do if you were not present would involve reading.”

“You can read to me,” Virgil suggested.

“…In Sanskrit.”

Virgil frowned at him. “Isn’t that, like, some sort of dead language?”

“It is,” Logan said. “I taught myself to read it to read a specific book called the Pragilium Text. It’s an encoded book that leads to a magical location that I have been trying to decode for years.”

 “That’s fine,” Virgil said. “You can do that.”

“It would be in the library,” Logan said.

“Okay.”

“But…” Logan said. “It would in no way be interesting to you.”

Virgil shrugged. “Like I said. I’m content to lie on the floor for a few hours.”

Logan frowned. “I can’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me,” Virgil said. “I want to go. Maybe you can find me an easy book I could try to read?”

“Are you certain?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, decisively.

“Very well, get dressed and I will show you the library.”

Virgil stood to do so and a few minutes later, Logan was leading him out of the royal wing.

 Both of the guards greeted him kindly, and Virgil hunched his shoulders in a bit, but said a soft “hi.”

The library didn’t end up being too far away. It was through the small dining hall and to the left where the staircase to the kitchen was to the right.

“This is not the main library,” Logan said. “It is just a smaller one. The royal librarian comes here only about once a week to organize. Some other castle residents might come in too, but it is usually mostly empty.” Virgil could tell just by listening for a few seconds that the place was likely empty (unless someone was lying in wait).

 “I’ll look and see if there is something simple for you in case you’d like to read. You can explore a bit if you’d like,” Logan said.

Virgil nodded and stalked off into the shelves to secure the area. There were many books, not that he could quite read any of the spines. The bookcases were mostly cramped into the space. There was the open area where they’d come in with a few comfy chairs and Virgil found a desk near one of the windows. It had stacks of books including one pretty large and old one. He looked at it curiously.

 Virgil heard Logan’s footsteps approach from down an aisle. “That’s the Pragilium text,” he said.

“It’s pretty,” Virgil said, looking at the design etched into the cover.

“Yes,” Logan agreed. He reached forward to touch it and opened it carefully. The print was small and didn’t look like the letters Logan had taught him so far. There was a small map on the side that Virgil could at least guess at the meaning of.

“You can read that?” Virgil asked.

“I can,” Logan said. “Very few people can though.”

“Wow, you’re really smart.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a smile.

 “Now,” Logan continued. “I found you a book. I apologize as its subject matter is for younger children, but it has many pictures that can help give you context when you don’t know something. You don’t have to read it if you do not wish to, especially as we haven’t gotten very far in our lessons, but I thought you might like the challenge.

He handed him the book and Virgil took it with a smile. “I’ll try to read it,” he said.

“Well, you have free reign of the library. Feel free to continue to explore and to interrupt me if you need to.”

 Virgil nodded and took the book before deciding to finish his sweep of the library. It turned out that appearances were not deceiving, and the library truly was empty. Once he was certain about that, he looked around for a comfortable place to settle down and try to read the book Logan had handed him. He found a sturdy looking bookshelf near where Logan was reading at his desk. He scaled it quickly. It was a little bit dusty at the top, but it wasn’t a bad place. It was close to the ceiling and kept him hidden pretty well, but still gave him enough room to pop up onto his elbows. If he looked left, he could see Logan down bellow with his head in the book, but if he looked right, he could see the entrance to the library.

 He pulled the book in front of him and looked at the cover. It was covered in drawings of different colored flowers. One simple white flower was in the center and there were three words on the cover. He squinted at it and silently tried to sound it out based on what Logan had taught him so far. He could guess that the larger word was ‘flowers’ based on context. So, he was pretty sure it read How Flowers Grow.

He flipped open the book. Logan was right, there were many hand drawn beautiful pictures. He could pretty much understand what was happening just from them even if he couldn’t read all of the words.

 It was an interesting book even if he couldn’t read it and it was obviously made for small children. Judging by the pictures it seemed to be detailing how plants, or at least, flowers grew through some kid planting and caring for a flower over the course of some amount of time.

Virgil had, of course, known flowers grew from seeds, but it was interesting to see things about how the stem would pop out of the seed in the ground and things about the roots growing.

He more looked through the pictures than read it the first time but had flipped back to the front to try to read the words when he heard the library door open.

 Virgil perked up in awareness, but then settled when he recognized Patton’s footsteps. Virgil tilted his head to watch as he walk directly to Logan’s hideaway.

“Hi,” he said, gaining Logan’s attention.

“Hello, Patton,” Logan replied. He glanced at the window and must have seen that time had passed because he closed his book and shuffled his papers.

“The guards said you came here,” Patton said, glancing around. “Where’s Virgil?”

Instead of letting Logan answer that question, Virgil pulled himself forward, with the book in one hand and slid off the bookshelf to land lightly on his feet next to Patton.

Patton screamed before slapping a hand over his mouth.

 Logan had placed his hand over his heart. “Where on Earth did you come from?” he asked.

Virgil blinked at him and then pointed to the bookshelf he’d been on top of.

“How long were you up there?” Logan asked.

“Pretty much the whole time,” Virgil answered.

“I…” Logan said. “I didn’t even know.”

Virgil squinted at him. “You need to learn to look up.”

Patton giggled.

Virgil turned on him. “You need to learn to case the area.”

“Oh honey, your shirt is all covered in dust,” Patton said instead of responding to his very valid criticism. Virgil frowned. “Let’s get you changed and then go grab some lunch.”

“Lunch?” Virgil asked.

Patton chuckled and grabbed his hand. “Yes, sweetie, lunch. Then garden.”

“Fine,” Virgil said. “But you do need to learn to be more observant.

“Yes, yes, whatever you say,” Patton said.

Logan just rolled his eyes.

  Chapter 30

After lunch, Patton and Logan took Virgil out into the garden to walk around. They let Virgil lead them around wherever he wanted to in the garden. A bunch more flowers had died since the last time they’d been out here, and Patton felt sad despite having never felt very sad about that sort of thing before. But, Virgil seemed to really like the flower he’d found last time, so Patton thought he was probably sad on the boy’s behalf.

Of course, Patton thought, perking up, eventually it would be spring, and Virgil could get to not only see flowers but see all of the flowers grow. Patton couldn’t wait to see him amongst the garden then.

 Virgil took them wandering through the orchard for a while, but most of the trees had been stripped of their fruits. They ended up in the food garden after a bit, and Virgil finally seemed to decide on the direction instead of just ambling about.

A few seconds after Patton noticed Virgil seemingly decide on a destination, Patton noticed Mr. Deknis kneeling on the ground a few feet away. Had… had Virgil been looking for him? Patton wondered. That was adorable.

Mr. Deknis looked up as they approached and smiled at them.

“Hello, Mr. Deknis,” Patton said as they came closer.

 “Hello you three,” Mr. Deknis said. “Getting into trouble?”

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Mr. Deknis gave him a flash of a smile. “I know, I’m joking,” he said. “Especially since there isn’t much left in my gardens for certain princes to destroy with experiments.”

“Oh, okay,” Virgil said. He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting the last of the acorn squash out,” Mr. Deknis replied. “It’s the last crop to get finished. Good thing too, it’s supposed to start snowing soon.”

Virgil looked down curiously at the dark green squash.

“Would you like to help me pick a couple?” Mr. Deknis asked.

 “Sure,” Virgil said, sounding interested. Mr. Deknis patted the ground beside him and Virgil knelt down to watch him.

“They’re not too difficult to harvest,” he said. “You just cut the fruit off the stem. You want to leave about a hand’s width of the stem left over which will help preserve moisture. The earlier harvests, I left in the field to cure in the sun for a couple weeks, but the frost’ll ruin them so we’ll take them inside the green house and let them sit in the sun for a bit there. We also want to keep the leaves. You’ll probably be eating those for dinner tonight since they have to be cooked up within about 24 hours after they’re picked. Patton’s mom makes a good side dish with them and she’ll be making some curry tomorrow, probably. Maybe some stew if there are some leftover.”

 “Put the squash in this wheelbarrow and the leaves into this pile, okay?” Virgil nodded and Mr. Deknis handed him the extra pair of gloves and shears he carried with him in case one set broke. “These might be a bit big on your, but they should work for now.”

Mr. Deknis looked up at Patton and Logan. “Would the two of you like to help?” he asked. “I can get some more equipment.”

“I can help out if you want, but you don’t need to stop and get more equipment just for me,” Patton said.

“The same for me,” Logan said.

“Well, if you’d like to help still, you can sort the leave. Give your mother a head start.”

 “Sure,” Patton said. He and Logan went to do that while Mr. Deknis and Virgil worked on cutting the squashes from the vine.

“What do you do during the winter?” Virgil asked curiously. “If this is your last crop.”

“Well, at the beginning, I mostly will be working on making sure things are stored correctly along with some of the kitchen staff. There’s some drying to do and some canning. After that’s done, I’ll spend some time organizing and planning. Then, before the spring comes, I’ll start preparing seedlings in the green house.”

“Seedlings?” he asked.

“I let seeds start to grow in the greenhouse that I replant once it gets warm enough.”

 “Why don’t you just plant them where they’re going?”

“I do for some,” he said, “but giving some a head start is good for them.”

Patton watched as Virgil continued to ask questions about gardening while working on harvesting the squash. Mr. Deknis continued to answer them in a calm, soft tone that Patton didn’t think he’d ever heard from the often gruff man before.

Patton wasn’t surprised when, after finishing getting most of the squash off of the vine, Mr. Deknis asked if Virgil wanted to help him with canning some pears in a couple of days. Virgil immediately looked over at Logan and Patton as though asking permission.

“Say yes if you want to Virgil,” Logan said.

 “Yes,” Virgil said as soon as he was given permission. Mr. Deknis smiled at him softly and started loading the last of the squash into the wheelbarrow. Patton offered to run the squash leaves to the kitchen while Logan and Virgil helped Mr. Deknis take the actual squash to the green house.

He dropped the leaves off to a kitchen worker since Mama was busy and headed back out to the garden. By the time he returned, Logan was already back from the green house and sitting by one of the more decorative trees near the castle.

“He’s exploring,” Logan said, nodding at the large patch of bushes.

 Patton chuckled. “I see.” He sat next to Logan. Every so often he’d hear the bushes rustle, but he couldn’t tell if it was actually Virgil or an animal.

“He’s adorable,” Patton commented, keeping an ear out.

Logan hummed.

“I’m glad we kept him.”

“He isn’t a pet, Patton.”

Patton rolled his eyes. “I know, but I’m still glad. I’m glad he’s making friends with Mr. Deknis. Once he knows how to read better, we should get him a book about gardening. He seems interested.”

Logan nodded. “Having a hobby would be good for him. Clearly he has a fascination with the garden.” He nodded to the blur of dark hair that could be seen through the bushes. It seemed Virgil had stopped his exploration and was now laying down in the bushes a few feet away.

 “I’m going to go see what he’s doing,” Patton said. “I’ll be right back.”

Logan nodded and Patton got to his feet. The bushes were part of a small maze that was filled with flowers during the spring and summer months but were mostly just green and brown bushes for now. Despite the fact that Patton had been able to see him only a few feet away, it took him a while to wind through the path to where he was. When he finally turned the last corner and he came into view, Patton gasped softly.

“Ghost kitty!” he said, making sure to make his voice as quiet as possible.

 Despite how soft he made his voice, two pairs of eyes shot over to him. The completely black kitten was perched on Virgil’s lap like she belonged there. Ghost Kitty hissed slightly, but Virgil reached forward to pet her head gently.

“This is Ghost Kitty?” Virgil asked. “I thought you said she was hard to pet.”

“She is,” Patton said. He lowered himself onto the ground from a few feet away from them. “How did you get her to come to you?”

Virgil glanced down at the cat and shrugged, scratching one of her ears. “She just came over to me and let me pet her.”

 “Wow,” Patton said softly. He looked at the cat. “Could I pet you sweetie?” he asked, holding out a hand in her direction. She hissed again.

Virgil frowned down at her. “It’s Patton,” he said as though he expected to understand his words and the exasperation in the tone he said them in.

He pet the cat’s head to soothe her and then reached over to grab Patton’s hand. He pulled and Patton carefully leaned a bit closer until his hand was within sniffing distance. Ghost Kitty sniffed his fingers contemplatively and then bumped her head against it. He barely restrained a squeal, knowing that probably wouldn’t be taken well.

 He carefully turned his hand over so he could stroke the top of her head. He gently scratched her ear, not daring to go for under her chin yet since she didn’t know him well. “Hi,” he said softly. After a moment, she started to purr softly. Virgil reached over and scratched under her chin and she purred louder. “Oh, you’re a good girl,” Patton breathed, letting a hand trail gently down her back once and then again. Patton settled himself carefully into a seating position continuing to pet her. After a few more moments of soft petting, she hesitantly stepped her front paws onto Patton’s thigh so she was sitting in both of their laps. Patton laughed softly. “Hi sweetie.” He glanced over at Virgil who had a wide smile on his face as he pet the cat. This. This was adorable. They continued to pet the cat for a very long time.

  Chapter 31

Logan waited for a while after Patton left to check on Virgil, but the two never resurfaced. It was odd, Patton would usually remember to come back and get Logan or at least tell them where they were. With a sigh, Logan climbed to his feet to go find them. It took him a while to weave his way through the maze of bushes to them especially because they were suspiciously quiet (Well, suspicious for Patton. Virgil was often unnervingly quiet when alone.) Luckily, he knew the bushes enough after all of these years not to get lost and managed to find the two after a few minutes.

“Ah,” he said, immediately identifying the reason for Patton disappearing.

 “Logan!” Patton said, his voice excited, but also quieter than normal. “We found a kitty!”

“I can see that,” Logan responded, taking a step closer. The cat hissed at him in response. The hissing was so intense and wild that he’d suspect the thing was feral if it wasn’t happily on Virgil’s lap having had it’s head in Patton’s lap before Logan had approached.

“No,” Virgil told the animal as though it could understand words. “That’s Logan. Be nice.”

The cat still glared at him and swished it’s tail back and forth threateningly. Virgil pet the top of it’s head and it broke eye contact with Logan to purr.

 Patton seemed delighted by the purring, reaching to stroke under the thing’s chin carefully. “We should give her a name!” Patton said.

Virgil frowned. “I thought her name was Ghost Kitty.”

“That is ‘Ghost Kitty’?” Logan asked skeptically. From what Patton had said about that cat, it was terrified of people and no one could ever get near it, even him. Now it was in Virgil’s lap?

“But that was a temporary name,” Patton said, “for before we officially met her. Now we have to give her a real name.”

“Do not give it a name,” Logan said. “You will get attached.”

 “How do you name a cat?” Virgil asked.

“Do not name it,” Logan said.

“You give them names based on their personalities, how they look, or even just because it’s a cute name,” Patton explained. “Like, remember Mittens? I named her Mittens because she has white fur and black paws!”

Virgil looked at the cat. “She’s completely black,” he said.

Patton hummed. “So, we could give her a name based on that like Midnight or Shadow.”

“Those are fine,” Virgil said.

“No, no,” Patton said. “I’m just giving you examples. You get to name her yourself.”

“This is a bad idea,” Logan said.

 “Just throw out some names,” Patton said. “Anything you can think of.”

“Uh,” Virgil said. “Knife.”

“…Just Knife?” Patton asked.

“Nightmare.” Virgil seemed to think about it. “No, that’s mean.”

“How about things you like?” Patton suggested.

“Alfredo?”

Oh no, Logan thought, he was worse than Patton at cat naming.

“Good start,” Patton said. “Logan, do you have any suggestions.”

“Cat,” Logan said.

“Real suggestions,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Aphrodite.”

“Catphrodite!”

Logan glared at him. “Helena.”

“Helenpaw.”

“Claudia.”

“Clawdia.”

“Persephone.”

Patton smiled at him, cheerfully.

“…Damnit!”

Patton turned to Virgil again. “Like that! They don’t even have to be serious. Like, uh, you could name her Madam Fluffywuffykins the Great!”

“Do not name her that,” Logan said, scrunching up his nose.

 Logan sat on the ground, the cat eyeing him, but no longer hissing. Logan gently guided them towards more sensible names despite Patton trying his hardest to drag them into stupidity.

Virgil still didn’t quite get it. He mostly tried to name it after foodstuff, and often not even appropriate foodstuff such as “Corn” and “Acorn Squash” and “Sandwich” and occasionally would drop in semi violent ones such as “Razor,” “Nightshade” and “Void.” Patton suggested names like “Fluffers,” “Bobette” and “Darling” as well as some that were puns. Logan tried to direct them towards more sensible ones like “Salem” and even went so low as to suggest the contrary “Snowball.”

 It quickly seemed to become less about actually naming the cat and more of a game. Patton had taught Virgil about playing with cats and had even gotten out a ball of yarn he cared around for his crafts. Both Virgil and the cat seemed to find endless entertainment with that. Logan hoped Patton had another ball of yarn that color because, he was never going to get that ball back.

The barrage of names fizzled out into naming things around them like “Leaf” and “Bush” until they stopped suggesting names altogether. Patton and Logan sat back and watched Virgil play with the cat.

 Logan watched as they stopped playing suddenly and Virgil and the cat squinted at each other. “Marisol,” Virgil said, pulling the name out of nowhere. “That’s her name.” He said it with a certainty that was surprising considering how he’d treated the naming process with confusion and caution earlier. If Logan did not know better, his tone of voice would indicate that the cat, or Marisol he guessed, had gotten bored of them coming up with stupid names and decided to tell him her actual name herself.

The cat made a sound and batted at Virgil’s face without claws to grab back his attention.

 He turned back to it and bopped its face with a finger in kind. It attacked his finger, but in a clearly playful matter as it still did not extend it’s claws and its teeth did not draw blood.

“That’s a great name, Virgil,” Patton said.

“Much more pleasant than any that Patton suggested all afternoon,” Logan said. He received an elbow to the side for his quip.

“A pretty name for a pretty kitty,” Patton said, scooting over to where Virgil was sat and attempting to pet Marisol’s head. Marisol, however, was too keyed up and batted at the hand.

 “I love you too!” Patton said.

Logan rolled his eyes, but he had long since resigned himself to watching the two of them play with and coo over the cat for the rest of the day.

Eventually, though, it started to get darker. Even after Logan pointed this out, it still took over an hour for them to relent and leave the bush maze to go to the door. The problem was of course, that the cat had managed to grow very attached to Virgil in the last few hours and she followed them all the way to the door with manipulatively heart breaking mews.

 “You’ve got to stay out here,” Virgil said, when they got to the castle door. He pet her ear softly and she shoved her head into his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere to put you.” He sounded horribly sad about that fact and Logan felt himself shift uncomfortably. “I basically live in a closet and Logan doesn’t like cats in his room anyway.”

Logan immediately felt unreasonably guilty, probably more so because Logan did not think Virgil was trying to make him feel guilty. “…Bring the dammed thing inside.”

Virgil blinked up at him. “What?”

“It will get cold soon anyway,” Logan said.

He frowned at Logan from where he was crouched. “But you don’t like fur in your room…”

“I will have to find a potion that works,” he said with a sigh, “and we’ll have to say it’s mine to the guards and Father since it will be staying in my room, but it is yours in every other way. That means you are going to feed it, clean it, and clean up after it.”

Virgil nodded immediately and swooped Marisol up in his arms. The cat went without complaint. “Thank you!” he said. “I love her.”

“I know you do,” Logan said, already regretting it already. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider recanting the offer considering how happy Virgil seemed to be. They had a cat now, he guessed.

  Chapter 32

“What are you doing?” Helen asked a few minutes after her son walked into the kitchen and started looking around as though he were trying to find something. It was a few hours into the afternoon, and she and a few workers were already prepping for dinner.

“Uh,” Patton said. “Have you seen Virgil?”

“No,” Helen said. “Why.”

“Er… Logan and I sorta, lost him,” Patton said. He was wringing his hands anxiously. Helen put down the knife in her hand.

“What do you mean you lost him?” she asked.

“Well, see, we were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, um, but then we didn’t think to tell him that he eventually had to come out if we didn’t find him, and now we haven’t seen him since breakfast.”

 “He didn’t know what tag is?” she asked. That was just one more thing to add to the list of why Helen worried about Virgil and where he came from. Every morsel of information she’d managed to wring from Patton despite his evasions made her lists of concerns grow larger, even little things like him not knowing about simple childhood games. Actually, thinking of concerning things having to do with Virgil. “Wait, so he hasn’t eaten lunch.”

“Um, we don’t know that,” Patton’s mouth said while his eyes said ‘no.’

“He needs to be on a consistent diet, especially when he’s still taking the malnutrition potion,” she scolded.

 “I know, Mama, I know,” Patton said. “I’m trying to find him. I’d kinda hoped he’d gotten hungry and snuck down here. He probably wouldn’t want to risk being caught stealing food though.”

Helen grimaced. Yet another concerning thing.

“Wait! I have an idea, I’ll be right back.” Patton turned and ran out of the room. Helen frowned at the space he’d been and finished chopping the carrot on the cutting board in front of her. If it had been any other person in the castle missing, Helen wouldn’t have worried, but she had literally never seen Virgil without Patton and/or Logan by his side. Even when he’d gone to help Jeff can some fruit, Logan had reportedly hung around to read a book.

 Considering that Logan had never exactly been clingy even with Patton, she imagined that either Virgil asked, or Logan thought he should stay with him for his comfort. So, she was surprised that he was apparently hidden away somewhere in the castle where neither of the other kids could find him.

Still thinking about this, she walked over to the entrance to the cellar below the kitchen where they stored most of the vegetables, planning to grab some more carrots. She was confused for a moment when she heard movement from deeper in the pantry. She reached over and touched the panel near the door that controlled the magic lights.

 The newly illuminated figure startled as the lights came on, whipping around to stare at her with wide eyes.

“Virgil?” she asked.

“Sorry,” he said immediately, taking a step back.

“It’s fine,” she said immediately, “but what are you doing here?”

He considered her for a long moment, but apparently, she passed some sort of mental test, because he relaxed, at least as much as he’d ever relaxed in her presence. “Where are we?” he asked.

Her brow knit together. “The cellar under the kitchen,” she said, “You don’t know that?”

He shook his head.

“The only entrance is from the kitchen.” Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him go through the kitchen at any point.

 “No, it’s not,” Virgil said. “There’s a tunnel.”

“A-a tunnel?” she asked. Actually, taking a closer look at him, he seemed a bit grimy. He had dust all over his front and dirt on his nose. She thought he might even have a couple of cobwebs in his hair.

“Yep,” he said.

“Where’s the tunnel?” she asked.

“It’s right over here,” he said. He took a couple of steps and pointed to the ground. There was an open square hole there that clearly had been made a long time ago but which she had never noticed in all of her time working here.

 “How did you find this?” she asked.

“We were playing hide and seek,” Virgil explained. “Logan said I could hide anywhere inside the castle. I hid on top of a dresser upstairs in some unused sitting room. There was a hole in the wall above it, so I climbed into it. Then, I crawled a little bit and it let out into a hidden passage in the walls. I wandered around in it until I found another hole in one of the walls. I thought it was a way out, so I squeezed into it, but it took me to a different hallway where I found an old room. There was a different hole in that room that had probably been covered by something because it was in the floor but whatever it was had rotted away. I crawled though it into a tunnel and came out here.”

 She couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his explanation. “Well, it sounds like you went on an adventure,” she said, “but Patton and Logan have been trying to find you. You missed lunch.”

He tilted his head at her. “I know. I was supposed to hide.”

“Yes,” she explained, “but you are supposed to come out at some point if they can’t find you for things like food.”

“Oh,” he said.

“They probably should have explained,” she said. “For now, why don’t we get you something to eat? You must be hungry.”

Virgil frowned. “But I missed lunch.”

“You can still eat even though it’s not in normal hours,” she said. “You could even if you had made it to lunch.”

 “Really?” he asked, he looked tragically confused by this offer.

“Of course, sweetie,” she said. “In fact, I insist you get something good to eat right now. How about I made you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich? Maybe some cookies too!”

Virgil titled his head. “You are Patton’s mother,” he stated.

Helen laughed softly. “He gets its all from me,” she said. “We should probably go find him and tell him you’re okay. He was worried.”

“I didn’t mean to worry him,” Virgil said with a frown.

“I know,” Helen said. “It’s okay. He’ll probably laugh when he figures out where you’ve been, and Logan will interrogate you all about the secret passageways.” He seemed happy about the prospect of seeing his friends. “Come on, let’s go upstairs for a bit,” she said.

  Chapter 33

Patton’s mom had already made Virgil sit down at the small table in the corner of the kitchen and had handed him a sandwich by the time Patton barreled into the kitchen, Logan coming after him at a more sedate pace.

“Virgil!” he said, sounding surprised and relieved.

“Patton,” Patton’s mom scolded. “No cats in the kitchen.” Patton had brought Marisol in with him and had let her go as soon as he’d seen Virgil. She immediately plodded over to him and hoped onto the table to sniff at his face in greeting.

“But she’s the princess!” Patton argued.

“No,” Logan said.

 “Yes, she is!” Patton said.

“The stupid cat is not a princess.”

“Don’t be mean to your little sister, Logan.”

“I regret every life decision that has led me to this point.”

While Logan and Patton were distracted squabbling and Patton’s mom was distracted watching them squabble, Virgil tore off a bit of the ham in his sandwich and offered it to Marisol. Marisol gracefully took it from his grip and ate it.

“So, this is Logan’s new cat I’ve been hearing about?” Patton’s mom asked.

“Indeed,” Logan said, his lips thinned. He and Marisol were mostly amicable when alone with just them and Virgil, but Patton had a habit of cooing over the kitten and needling Logan into being irritated.

 “Mmm, yeah,” Patton’s mom said. She glanced over at Virgil right as Marisol basically slammed her face into his chin in a bid to get pets. “Your cat.” She shook her head. “But Princess Kitten or not, I do not want fur in dinner,” she said.

“Sorry,” Patton said, honestly not sounding sorry at all. Virgil was always a bit surprised when the insolent shrug garnered nothing more that a scowl that did not reach Patton’s mom’s eyes. “I thought she could help me find Virgil, but you already found him.” He turned to Virgil. “Where have you been all day?”

 “Found a tunnel,” Virgil said. He had to use one hand to hold Marisol back from his sandwich as he took another bite, but then gave her a bite of cheese.

“You found what?” Logan asked.

“There’s a tunnel under the cellar,” Virgil said. “It goes to an old closed up room and also to a set of secret passageways.” It was a bit of a security risk honestly, though clearly no one had used it in years by how dirty it was. He did plan to go back into it and make sure the sprawling tunnels didn’t go to anywhere more dangerous like the royal wing.

 “A closed-up room?” Logan said. He could see a bit of curiosity already building in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Where the door used to be seemed like it had been bricked over.”

“Really? Can you show me.”

“Sure,” Virgil answered.

“Ah, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious about climbing through random tunnels we don’t know the stability of,” Patton’s mom said.

Logan’s frown edged on a pout.

“Talk to your father,” she said. “I’m sure he can get someone who understands these things so you can safely investigate.”

“It was safe enough for Virgil,” Logan pointed out.

 “No, Logan.”

He sighed but seemed to concede. That was another strange thing about living here. By all rights Logan didn’t have to obey anyone except the king, but he often listened to those around him, not just the adults but Patton as well. It was interesting though it sometimes made the hierarchy hard to figure out. Virgil did sometimes stress out about the hypothetical situation where he got conflicting orders from two people, and he wouldn’t know which one to obey. So far it hadn’t been a problem luckily. They always seemed to work it out amongst themselves in some give and take social interaction that was a bit too complex for him to understand.

 Patton walked over to where Virgil was sitting. “I’m glad your safe,” he said. “We should probably put a time limit on hide and seek in the future, so you know when to come out.”

“Did I win?” Virgil asked. He’d honestly forgotten they’d been playing a game until Patton’s mom had asked how he’d found his way into the cellar.

Patton laughed. “I’d say so, yeah,” he replied. He leaned over to kiss Virgil’s forehead, but drew back immediately with a pinched expression. “You are… very dirty,” he said, rubbing his mouth.

Virgil nodded. “Your mom made me sit on a tablecloth,” he said gesturing to the fabric she’d laid over the chair.

 Patton snorted out a laugh. “We’ll get you into the bath when you’re done eating and you can tell us all about your little adventure.”

“I would also like to hear about your discoveries,” Logan said. “Though you are not allowed to sit on the bed until you do not have spider webs in your hair.”

Patton’s eyes widened and he jumped away from Virgil, startling both Virgil and Marisol. The latter hopped from the table onto Virgil’s lap. “Spiders?!”

Virgil tilted his head at him in confusion.

“He isn’t a fan of spiders,” Logan informed him, his voice amused at Patton’s reaction.

 Apparently deciding that she was no longer startled, but more confused by the noises Patton had just made, Marisol jumped out of Virgil’s lap to investigate, wrapping her way around Patton’s legs. He bent down to pat her back, though he still looked a bit startled.

“Your cat, huh?” Patton’s mom asked Logan once again. Virgil studied her. She had apparently missed Logan mentioning that he allowed Virgil on the bed. Or perhaps Logan was correct in his insistence that it wasn’t actually that big of a deal here. Virgil would rather not test that assumption, however, so was glad that it had been distracted from by Patton’s outburst.

 “Creepy, crawly death dealers,” Patton mumbled into Marisol’s fur, having picked her back up. Virgil made a note to not inform Patton of all of the different types of spiders he’d seen skittering around in the castle walls today. Maybe he’d talk about them with Logan once Patton left. He’d probably be interested. Virgil had seen some he’d never seen before! Logan probably could even help him figure out what their names were. “You’ll protect me, won’t you kitty?” Patton asked Marisol.

She made a little ‘burrrr’ sound in response, which Patton seemed to take a confirmation.

“Aw thank you, baby! Such a good baby.”

50234

Virgil popped the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Patton’s mom turned away and grabbed a plate stacked with cookies. She handed it to Logan. “Take these, and please get the health hazards out of my kitchen,” she requested.

Logan took them without complaint. “Come on, Virgil,” he said. “Let’s go get you clean.”

“We’re going to need so much soap,” Patton said.

Virgil looked down at himself. “I can go outside and get most of it off if you get me a bucket of water,” he offered.

“Virgil, it’s below freezing,” Logan said as though that had a baring on what he’d just said. Logan sighed. “No. Bathtub.” Virgil shrugged. “Honestly,” Logan said. He turned with the plate of cookies in his hand, clearly expecting to be followed. “You’re not going to catch your death pouring a bucket of water over yourself in the cold when there are literally over a hundred perfectly good bathtubs in this castle. For goodness sakes.” And well, Virgil wasn’t going to complain.

  Chapter 34

Patton, to be completely honest, was not all that interested in the room that Virgil had found. Beyond just the fact that it would definitely have creepy crawly death dealers in it, he really did not understand the intrigue. If it had just been him, he probably would have just let a castle worker deal with it, but it was not just him. Logan was ecstatic with the prospect of investigating a secret in the castle. People who didn’t know him well may not believe it considering he spent most of his time with his nose in a book, but he was an adventurer at heart.

 Thomas had been easily swayed into finding someone to help tear down part of the wall into the secret tunnel near the room (so no one would have to crawl through the kitchen cellar like Virgil). It had taken a few days, however, and Logan was practically bouncing off the walls waiting. Virgil, despite having already seen the room before, also seemed excited, though if that was because of his own curiosity or because he was just excited that Logan seemed so exited remained to be seen.

“They are silly, aren’t they,” Patton asked Princess Marisol. He was laying on his stomach on Logan’s bed and Princess Marisol had just put her little paw on his nose.

 “Yes, I agree,” he said. “Don’t they know that we’re literally going to be 2 feet away from the normal hallway?”

“It is not silly,” Logan defended himself. “Any number of things could go wrong.” He sounded far too excited about the prospect of something going terribly wrong. “The tunnels could cave in and block off the exit or there could be some unknown pathogen in the air.”

Patton did not ruin his fun by mentioning that Logan’s dad had definitely basically baby proofed the tunnels for them ahead of time. Instead, he just said, “Don’t let Virgil hear you say that sort of thing. It will just stress him out.”

 “Yes, yes, of course,” he said, waving off Patton’s concerns as he mulled over two different weird green planty things (potion ingredients, Patton assumed) before setting one aside and sticking the other in his bag.

“So silly,” Patton cooed at the cat. Logan let out a huff but did not choose to say anything about it this time.

Speaking of silly, Virgil came back from Logan’s bathroom then, and Patton tried not to giggle. “Is this right?” Virgil asked, sounding and looking confused. Logan, in his overexcitement about adventure had commissioned Virgil an outfit that actually fit. Said outfit, however, very much made it look more like Virgil was going on a safari instead of a two-foot detour from the normal castle hallway.

 “Almost,” Logan said, “Here, let me.” Logan started straightening everything out and flattening the collar, reminding Patton of an overbearing parent on picture day. Virgil accepted the fussing without protest. It was adorable. Well, the outfit was ridiculous, but still, adorable. “There,” Logan said. “I think we’re ready to go now.”

It was about time. Patton was sure people were already waiting for them downstairs. Patton got up and patted Princess Marisol on the head. She looked up at them with interest.

“You can stay here, sweetie,” Patton told here. She seemed to consider it and then hopped down from the bed to go rub up against Virgil.

 Patton guessed she was coming. It didn’t matter too much since Logan had given her a magical collar that allowed her to open most doors in the castle and everyone knew she was the royal cat now, so if she decided she wanted to come back to the room and nap, she could. (She was very aware of the power she held.)

She pranced happily by Virgil’s side all the way down the steps to the first floor of the castle. She was such a good kitty.

Well, she did hiss angrily at everyone who came too close to them, but still, a very good kitty.

 Patton did lean down and pick her up so they could actually talk to the man waiting for them at the large hole in the wall. Logan went to talk to the castle worker while Virgil half hid behind Patton. He was clearly listening very intently to the conversation however, at least more intently than Patton was. Patton was busy shaking his head fondly.

“Yes, yes, Princess,” he said to the cat. “I know we do not trust the strangers, but I promise this stranger is perfectly safe.”

“How do you know?” Virgil asked.

“His name is Chester and I’ve known him since I was 9.”

[elephantinparis]

A Sky beyond a Storm Review

If I could give this book -∞ rating I would. This review won’t be spoiler free, so if you haven’t read the book don’t read further. Now that that’s out of the way let’s get into it.

First of all, I want to start by saying how sad and angry I am to be writing this because this series had become one of my favorites and it completely disappointed me in the end. I’m not sure disappointment is even a proper word for what I’m feeling at this point. I also want to mention that yes, I am a huge fan of Nightbringer, but I wasn’t expecting a hea for him. What I was expecting was an arc true to his character from previous 3 books. Instead, what I got was a complete character assassination. It all started from the very first chapter–Nightbringer kills a small child, but at that point I was still trying to defend the book and genuinely thought: yes, it fits his character since he despises scholars. So even though I didn’t like it I understood. But then the complete character destruction started. First, we had a moment when he saw a happy family and went: yeah, I’ll kill the mother and the kids out of nowhere because they remind me of my family and if I can’t be happy no one can. Now, let me explain why this is ooc behavior: The Nightbringer as we knew him always had a beef with scholars only. The family he randomly kills are not scholars. Another thing: why would he put someone through the same agonizing pain when he is always specific about the deaths having meaning to him and that he doesn’t kill in vain(scholar killings are not in vain for him) other people, however, don’t fall into that category. Another ooc behavior moment was when he put one of his jinn in chains (yes only for a second and yes the jinn tried to use her influence on him), but the Nightbringer I know would never put his people through that after them spending an actual millennia in a prison. He spent so long trying to get them out, he would never put them in chains again. Then the cherry on the top of the cake was that all throughout the book the author tried to drive it home how much Nightbringer wanted Laia dead and how much he wanted, and I quote: “Open her up.” Another inconsistency since in Reaper he saved her more than once and completely let her go (because we know he loves her). Yes, he wanted to know what magic she possessed since the moment in Torch, but he had multiple opportunities to kill her and he never did. But in this book, he more than once physically assaults her when she’s in no position to truly hurt him and from his previous behavior that’s ooc actions. And you can come and say: but wait a minute Laia is a real threat now and that’s why he wants to kill her after he “opens her up” and I’ll point you to the chapter where he finally learns of his wife’s betrayal and understands what magic Laia possesses. And what does he do? He walks away. The man who spent the entire book hunting her down has her vulnerable, alone, he finally figured out the mystery of her powers and I am to believe from all his previous actions that he’ll kill her, but he DOESN’T. Because, of course, it’s not in the nature of his character to kill someone he loves even if they’re trying to stop him. So, which is it Sabaa? The inconsistencies are jarring. It just drives it home how his actions in this book were character assassination. The final nail in Nightbringer’s metaphorical coffin (because of course in the end he gets no funeral, no established peace, nothing. Unlike Keris…but I’ll get back to that later) is the fact that his evil villain plan is to literally end the world…I’m sorry WHAT?! So, in the span of this book he went from wanting scholars dead, then wanting all humans dead and then wanting the whole world to end which would result in his people dying, too. What in the actual hell is this?? So many possibilities could’ve been taken with this character, even if the author didn’t want to give him a redemption arc, he could have been a much better villain with a good goal. Instead we get this. Please someone try to explain WHY would he do this when he just freed his people? They would suffer just as much from his plan, so it makes no sense at all. His entire character was about protecting the jinn, giving them a safe space once he freed them. Another thing I noticed is that in the previous 3 books Nightbringer was very much humanized, embers and torch focused on him feeling again, his growth once he fell in love with Laia and even in Reaper his actions were tied to her, but in this book it’s completely forgotten. He does monstrous things to other people who aren’t scholars which was never his goal before. He had a millennium to set his anger and hurt on others, but he focused on those he felt were responsible for his life being ruined – the scholars. And yes, he was wrong to try to take revenge on people who didn’t do anything, but the point remains the Nightbringer I knew would have never done anything to jeopardize the jinn’s safety. Even as a villain his story went in a very cruel direction. I never praised Leigh Bardugo’s depiction of her villain Darkling, but maybe I should’ve since she gave him the bare minimum and Nightbringer didn’t even get that. Funny that the author has said on more than one occasion he was her favorite character. I shudder to think what she would’ve done if she disliked him. 

Another character who was treated with cruelty all throughout the story is Helene. Now I’ve got to give credit where it’s due - Helene grew a lot throughout the series: she shed her prejudices, finally acknowledged she had been protecting the wrong people and that martials need to change, she also grew as an incredible leader and a warrior and when the people chose her to be their Empress I was so proud, but then…she made her vow. To never marry, to never have children (which is totally fine since it was even mentioned she didn’t want them earlier), to completely give herself to her duty to the empire. It rubbed me the wrong way immediately because a big part of her arc was love–love for Elias who rejected her, love for her family–who got slaughtered before her eyes, love for Avitas–who also was killed for no real reason other than to make her suffer even more. And what does this show? It shows to Helene that love isn’t her friend because it only brings her pain, she lets people in, loves them with every part of her soul and they end up dying. So, at this point we have a young woman who started the series thinking she wasn’t worthy of love end up thinking love itself wasn’t worth it. How messed up is that? Still as cruel as this arc was it was at least consistent or that’s what I thought. In her very last chapter, it’s heavily alluded she might have something with Musa. And if it was written as just two friends grieving their lost loves it wouldn’t have bothered me at all. But there were clear romantic undertones and then I was left thinking: what? I thought she chose only her duty. And though Avitas was barely a few weeks in the ground at that point I couldn’t even fault Helene for wanting to move on because I just wanted her to be happy again. But at the same time, I cannot ignore the inconsistencies. The cruelty she experienced was too much.

It’s ironic how two of my favorite characters got the short end of the stick.

I don’t really have much to say about Elias since he didn’t really have his own plot, he was just inserted into Laia’s. His ending was by no means earned and I know it’s hard to say that because he had gone through so much in the first 2 books. But ever since Torch he made a conscious choice to become the Soul Catcher. Sure, he only did it to save Laia’s brother, but he made a vow to serve and he completely disregarded his job after the fact. I think if the ghosts that got out in Reaper didn’t hurt anyone, he would have continued to ignore the duty he himself chose. Now in this book he could’ve had an interesting development since he didn’t remember his past life, but this was resolved in the very beginning when Cain somehow gave the memories back. Then in the very end for a quick resolve someone just took over his job and Mauth was okay with it. The person who took over was just brought back for plot convenience and it makes me so mad. He didn’t earn the freedom…

Then we have Laia. The problem I had with her character in general is the fact she disregarded her past with Nightbringer. She can be in love with Elias and acknowledge what she felt for Nightbringer. Alas, she only sees a monster, shows no compassion once she learns of his story and since she spent all the book trying to kill him and not just stop him the very end felt hollow when  she suddenly starts showing compassion to a suffering Nightbringer. Laia from Torch showed compassion and understanding in her own way toward Nightbringer and now it was just gone. She was still conflicted and in this she’s completely closed off. I don’t think her romance with Elias would’ve suffered if her very real past with Nightbringer was acknowledged properly.

I also want to talk about Rehmat (Nightbringer’s wife). We learn that she had a gift of seeing the future and once the war started and she lost their children she saw what Nightbringer would become. So, what does she do? Does she go to her husband and tell him what she saw, tries to change the future, show him that even when she’s gone, he can go on and be who he was always meant to be? Beloved. Hell no she goes to humans and uses blood magic to extract her essence and be put in the progeny of a random tribe. Then waits a millennium to kill her husband. What in the world is this?? The reason why she does this is never addressed. So, as a reader I must make assumptions that she never loved him. That she didn’t even try to change anything. She also could’ve told him of her plan so he could’ve found someone to awaken her sooner so they could once again be together. He was deeply hurt and alone without their people and she left him too. Tell me how you bring in this new force and you don’t even explain her actions? How is this good writing?

Now I want to talk about the death count and if the deaths had any meaning. Got to start by saying that only supporting characters were killed.  First, we have Darin. Killed by Nightbringer because he wanted Laia to kill him for his plan. See, the thing is Laia already wanted to kill him throughout the book, she got the weapon and she came there with the goal of killing him. Nightbringer didn’t need to “encourage” her by killing Darin. So, in my opinion the death was pointless and served no great purpose. It was a way to make the reader hate the villain, sympathize with the heroine and was done for shock value. Livia was another character to suffer a pointless death. She was the only person Helene had. There was no reason to do it same with Avitas. I guess for Avitas I could try to excuse it by saying it’s war and he did die on the battlefield. Keris had always been a great fighter and even Helene couldn’t take her on. But she already lost Livia and now this?? Too much. Too cruel. Livia’s ending could’ve also been written off as a war casualty, but she wasn’t actively participating in the war. Sure, she was the Empress Regent, but to me it’s just too much after her family. Both deaths only caused Helene pain and she didn’t gain anything profound from those losses. Lastly, I truly hated how the author tried to humanize Keris Veturia. And when I say tried, I really mean it because at least for me it didn’t work. The author suddenly had her saying she couldn’t kill Elias when time came even though she already had. She poisoned him and he died because of her. That woman first abandoned him, then tortured him throughout his time at Blackcliff and then in the end cost him his life. And Elias mourned her…She also had a lovely send off in the Waiting place where she found piece with her mother. So then if this villain deserved peace why didn’t the other one? At least Nightbringer had his reasons. We never knew hers.

In conclusion, I don’t understand how the story could’ve gone so wrong. As always everything you read is my personal thoughts and my humble opinion.

Tagging: @nightbringer @bookittothelibrary we suffered so much...I can’t.

[t-lostinworlds]

The Devil All The Time: A Review That No One Asked For

Well, I don’t know why I’ve been putting this off but here I am 48 hours later. Though the fact that I’m still thinking about the movie two days later is proof how long it stays with you right after you watch it. By all means, I’m not an expert reviewer aha so this maybe all over the place but: It is a good movie. It wasn’t perfect of course, the flow could’ve been a tad bit better, and the narrator threw me off sometimes, a few missing bits in terms of the characters but it’s still good nonetheless. I do want to point out that the movie wasn’t as dark and brutal as how the book went. It wasn’t a graphic or gore as I’d expected it because some critics did overplay it. So, if you’ve read the book, the movie will come off as a much lighter tone. Also, if you watched GoT, then you’ll be fine with the gore. But with that said, there are still triggering scenes so people should still be mindful when watching. A couple of changes but that’s a given with every book adaptation but there were a few that I thought was better in the movie than in the book, which I will get more into in a sec because I’ll try and keep this other half spoiler free.

The visuals, the cinematography, it was beautiful. I loved how everything looked on screen, scenery, colors, lighting, the whole lot. The music and the little added touches of sound effects was just so spot on that you just feel more on edge as the movie goes, like little ticks here and there. Now, the cast, whew. Nobody fell short with their performance. Some might have smaller screen times than others but still, nobody was lackluster or pushed to the side and they gave their best with the material they were given. Although, I may be biased but from what I’ve been seeing around I think we can all agree that Tom Holland struck out the most (I’ll gush about him more under the cut aha).

Long babbling short, I loved it. Right after I finished watching, it truly did feel like I went running lol, like I got so into it that those last few moments (or every intense scene for that matter) that it had me at the edge of my seat. But I also wanted to watch it again soon after. It may not be for everyone’s taste, although I am interested to see what the people who haven’t read the book thought of it because I do see how it can come off confusing in some parts. I already knew what was going to happen and some background on why it happened so it was easy for me to fill in the missing pieces. But with that said, it’s still a good adaptation and it stayed as true as it can get to the books. 8.5/10 would recommend watching, with caution of course.

a more detailed (specific scenes, characters, actors performance, and more) rambling below the cut aka spoilers ahead!!

I’m going to start off with Willard Russell who was played so well by Bill Skarsgård. I haven’t seen anything else of his before but he was so good in this movie. His interaction with Haley Bennett's character Charlotte was different from the book but I'm not mad on how it played out in the movie either. It was a cute and a little awkward interaction which was all good. Charlotte is exactly how I thought of her, a sweet, beautiful, caring lady and Haley played her just as well. Especially with the scene where she and Arvin were singing together, that was just the sweetest thing.

But back to Willard (Bill) and all his interaction with little Arvin (who was also so great btw), it was just damn. For one, in the truck after he beat the living daylights out of those men, that switch of him being out of breath and angry and him teaching Arvin about those bullies and finding the right time and him saying, "there's a lot of no good sons of b*tches out there." to when Arvin asked him if it was more than a hundred and he chuckled as if he didn't almost just killed a man? And then suddenly he was back to this loving father who cares so much about his family and would anything to protect and defend them (sounds familiar right? Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.) Although I will say that Willard is a much horrible person in the book than he was in the film. The prayer log could've gotten more… bloody and gross as time passed by. And the thing with Jack Russell (Arvin's dog, who wasn't actually a jack russell but oh well), they changed it so that he was with them longer so it did have more weight if you put it that way since Arvin has grown to love Jack, so killing him off screen was still going to be heart breaking. But in the book, it was a stray dog that wandered into their place and Arvin fed him, named him but on the same day, as soon as Willard got home he shot the dog right in front of Arvin. Now that would've been much crueler and could've showed just how far gone Willard is with his whole "faith" and how desperate he was on saving his wife who he's so in love with but damn, the things love can make people do. Or, they could've added the part where Willard killed the lawyer and poured his blood on the prayer log because that for me was a turning point in the book where I went, Willard has lost his freakin mind with the sacrifices. They did show the lawyer in the movie that's why I was a bit confused when it didn't happen but you can't cram anymore into a 2-hour movie. To conclude, this movie made me want to watch more of Bill for sure, but I'm too scared to watch IT (im a coward) so looking forward to what he does in the future.

Next I want to talk about are Helen, Roy and Theodore. Mia Wasikowska was great. She had so little screen time but whenever you see her on screen she just embodies Helen so well. Helen didn't have much to do in the book either aside from the fact that she was supposed to marry Willard and then didn't because Willard went off with Charlotte and Helen went to marry Roy which was kind of the starting to point as to why everything in their life has gone to hell, and then be a sweet mother to Lenora. But besides that, Mia gave her best and served the character well in my opinion. Theodore on the other hand could've done so so much more. Given that he was the driving force that made Roy kill Helen. If ever I haven't read the book, it would’ve look rather random how suddenly he wanted to try resurrection. Roy and Theodore's relationship could've been explained more, specifically Theo's feelings because that was why he pushed Roy to do it. Now, Harry Melling as Roy Laferty was great. The scene with the spiders and then the emotions you see in his face and his eyes when he tried to resurrect Helen? Remarkable. The slow realization that it wasn't working, the shift on his face was so clear and that momene where it crosses his mind that he just killed his wife it was just, Dudley Dursley who? Though his death came earlier than I expected, and they changed quite a lot and it felt so random how he just left Theo in the car and went on a hitchhike when in the book, Theo died first that's why Roy decided to try and go back to his daughter. But his death scene was still intense, and the fact that his last word was Lenora? His daughter? Amazing.

So, now we see Carl and Sandy Henderson, who showed immediately how crazy they were when they killed Roy (who wasn't their first kill but). Both Riley Keough and Jason Clarke were fantastic, and they really did bring the uneasiness so well on screen. And I love how you can actually see how Sandy change from the first time we see her to the last, like it looked like Sandy was played by two different actresses so huge props to Riley for smashing that role from innocent sweet girl to this troubled serial killer. Although I wished their story was showed better, more so Carl than Sandy because out of the two, Carl was much, much sicker in the head than Sandy. He was the one who'd constantly look at those horrible photos and do…stuff, which was so sooo gross to read I feel sick just thinking about it. But Jason Clarke did a great job at portraying Carl's creepiness as much as he could, like I couldn't bear looking at him on screen without grimacing.

Lee Bodecker. Sebastian Stan did a great job a making him insufferable that's for sure. I always love how the moment Lee is on screen Seb is just gone. He just never failed to feel like this weird and corrupt cop or sheriff. Although I will say, his and Sandy's relationship could've been showed better because I have seen where people didn't realize they were siblings until the end. But I do like how you see that Lee doesn't really care that much for Sandy, I mean he does, but not as much. His mind has always been about being re-elected and having these stories about Sandy won't make him look good does it? Though his emotions in the end when he was in that car with Sandy was really spot on.

Emma and Earskell, I won't really dive into much because there's really isn't much to say than they were both great. They both made Arvin and Lenora feel like they do have a family and that they weren't alone, like they just came off as kind people on screen. But gosh Emma, that woman deserves a proper vacation for everything that she's went through. But Lenora, oh gosh, her story and how it ended was the most painful to read and watch. She was just a sweet innocent girl who got bullied and she deserved none of that. Eliza Scanlen was just wow. I loved her in Little Women, loved her even more on here as well. And her chemistry with Arvin (Tom) in the movie was just amazing, like they bounced of each other so well and you can see with just one look how much she admires Arvin. But the last scene where you can see her face, that split moment when she paused and then slowly smiled as she thought how her grandma won't be ashamed, and that she will take care of her baby and give it the life that it deserves but then she slipped and that made the scene even more heart wrenching. Let me tell, I screamed "Nooooo!" when I read it in the book and I screamed just as loud when I saw it on screen despite already knowing how it ends.

That f*cking rev. tergaryen what's his face. I couldn’t stand him in the book couldn’t stand him just as much in the movie which says a lot on how great of an actor Robert Pattison is. Each time he's on screen I emotionally and physically just can't stand him. Mind you I watched all his scenes with the Reaster girl and his wife with a proper scowl and kept looking away. But his scene with Lenora in the car I was peeking through my fingers because I can't sit and watch it fully because it was just so disgusting to watch. Robert Pattison played him so well that even his voice was just so creepy like dude, shut up. And when he was manipulating Lenora, rambling about his freakin delusions? Ugh I really wanted to punch the screen, big kudos to Rob for bringing that disgusting character to life. And well, I'll say he did get what he deserved in the end so.

Last but definitely not the least, Tom Holland as Arvin Russell. Gosh, where do I even start with this lad? This boy has range I can tell you that. I'm going to be talking so much about him so haha sorry but he was just amazing and I need to point out so many things. First scene was his birthday, and you can see how he seemed like just a normal, happy boy celebrating with the people the he loves but the moment Uncle Earskell handed the gun and mentioned that it was his father, his whole mood changes, his whole face fell and the look in Tom's EYES, his eyes does so much to portray his emotions and goodness he's so freakin amazing at switching from one emotion to another in so little time. To be honest, Arvin in the book is much more cold and harsh, even when it's towards Lenora and his Grandma. Hell, he makes sly digs at Lenora in the book which is more of a way to make her see how cruel the world is, sorta a tough love kinda of thing. He's just not that affectionate, with how he grew up, it's a given.

But Tom brought so much more depth to the character that even I didn't see as much while reading the book. Which is why people are so drawn to him, it makes him easier to sympathize and like in the movie, all because Tom added even more layers (i need my onion emoji dammit). I mean, Arvin is complex as is in the book, a lot colder for sure, but with how Tom portrayed him you just get to think so much more on what could possibly be going on in Arvin's head. You can just see all sorts of emotions the character goes through, from being rash, to angry, to hatred, to fear, to sadness, to vulnerability and these emotions happen so close to each other that the switch is just incredibly impressive. When he charged towards those bullies to protect Lenora? This is where you can see that when he's filled with rage, he sometimes doesn't think things through. It was three against one with guys much bigger than him, it was obvious he was never going to win but he still did so anyway because he loved Lenora, he'd do anything to protect and avenge her, why? It's what his father taught him. It's what he saw when he was a kid, that no matter if it’s a violent act, he'll do it for the people that he loves. Like i said in the beginning, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

There so much like father like son moments in this film, which didn't even come off forced because I've seen in an interview where Bill and Tom read their lines together despite not having a scene together and oh did it pay off because you can see a little bit of the Willard you see on the first bit of the movie in Arvin all throughout, which is again, a testament to how great these actors are. Also, Tom's scenes together with Eliza are just wow. It's incredible how much they contrast each other but still be connected in a way, like Lenora is this sweet innocent girl who's kind hearted and is willing to forgive her father for whatever he could've done while Arvin, gosh, every mention of his father his face always falls stoic and it's so amazing to see Tom play that emotion so well with so little movement like a clench of his jaw or his eyes. Their relationship was just so wholesome. Even with that scene in the meat shop where Arvin was teasing his grandma, it was such a sweet moment to see that side of him because in the book, the interaction was just plain he said, she said which I interpreted as being nothing more than a casual conversation but in the movie it was more light-hearted which is so interesting given the a few moments later, you see Arvin's rage again and he was already in fight mode when that preacher insulted Emma's cooking (which was a so not okay that freakin imbecile) which again, slowly opens the doors to how far Arvin will go for the sake of protecting and avenging the ones he love. Also, the fact that they changed who found Lenora's body to Arvin instead of Earskell was far better. My heart freakin broke for that boy when he was screaming as he tried to keep her up in hopes that he could still save her. Thomas Stanley Holland man, that scene was just wow, it was a lot to take in. But that change only added as to how he was going to handle the preacher later in the movie.

What did impress me the most was the quick switch Tom makes with his emotions. First off, that moment with those bullies. He was relentless with how he handled them, just full on anger and hatred like when he beat those boys best believe I kept flinching because it looked painful as hell. And then he says, "I'll kill you." (with that thunder sound which was a really nice touch), and this is where you just see how he's someone you shouldn't mess with who can potentially do so much more damage (which he does). But the moment he gets in his car and closes the door? You see nothing but a kid who's downright scared of what he just did, he knew it was somewhat wrong, like he couldn't actually believe he did that in the first place but as he'd said, he did it because had to and felt like it was the only way, which is again, a callback to what he saw with his father with them 'bullies,' it drilled on him how that's the only way. But my goodness the way his hand shook, his breathing, the fear in his eyes, and then when he wiped the blood on his hand then that flashback with Willard? Yes yes yes, another like father like son moment.

It's the same thing with the way he handled the preacher, it was much more different in the book but I liked this version better. There's just something poetic about it being in the church all while Arvin confessed the preacher's sins for him, it was just amazing writing. But the way his hands shook when he was standing the first time he enters? Like he could’ve done it right then and there but he can't because he's scared. I mean the way his voice was breaking with that sinner line (which was so funny how they made it seem so badass in the trailer) he was trying to get himself together, like the way he was breathing so shakily shows his nerves and his fear. But as he reiterated all the disgusting things the preacher did, you see that rage bubble inside him, you see him slowly grow more confident because his fear was now replaced by anger. And once that his rage was at full capacity, the moment they started talking about Lenora? (Tom and Rob's exchange was amazing btw) He was able to shoot him down with one hand, shaking gone all because he was angry. But as soon as he's dead and the anger subsides, the fear is so quick to consume him, you see it the moment he sits down. And again with his eyes you see it all in his eyes, just Tom Frickin Holland everybody. That exchange was easily the best one.

As for his interaction with Carl and Sandy, his expressions in the back seat as he slowly realizes what was going to happen to him, it was just amazing. This is where you see more of Arvin actually being smart, he's a bit rash and compulsive sure but he is definitely smart. But now, you don't see his anger because he doesn't know this people, the only thing he knows is that they were trying to kill him. So notice how he shot Carl with two hands this time? and how he was shaking exactly as he pulled the trigger? Same with Sandy? Compare that to how he handled the preacher. Also his fear when he thought he got shot? The utter panic was just, though he did puke in the book which would've showed just how much he didn't like what he just did and how he felt so wrong. Same with his interaction with Lee, he knows how asses his situation and damn, I don’t know if its sheer dumb luck or this boy just got incredible aim, I mean he's practiced in the books and he's gotten good but you don't see it in the movie though. But still the same, you see more of him being regretful which just shows how complex he is as a character. And Tom showed all these emotions so freakin well without saying much at all. You just see it, which shows just how talented he is.

Everything somewhat came full circle in the end, he buried Jack's bones which what he's been wanting ever since. And he also buried the gun, which was somewhat him saying how he's had somewhat a closure with his father and that he's putting it all in the pass. And then we end the movie with him trying not to fall asleep which honestly what it felt like after watching the movie. I needed a breather. That last shot was so calming though it does make you wonder where he goes on from here.

My goodness I could go on and on about Tom's performance and I definitely missed so much more but I feel like this is long enough lmao. Also feel like i’ve missed a few moments in the movie as well. Now I hope people will see what good of an actor he is and to show that he's more than just playing Peter Parker. Right, that's enough. I'm going to say how many words in total this was but, it's a lot.

And that is it for The Devil All the Time. A very good movie, would want to watch again but damn, I feel like I need a nap because what a movie indeed.

[nullbutexe]

SHADOWHUNTERS - Created by Ed Decter - Based on The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Content Warning - Mentions of abuse, suicide, self harm, internalised homophobia and drugs.

The Netflix show Shadowhunters has a lot of important topics to talk about. These include sexuality, grief, addiction, religion and mental illness.

Firstly, the Warlock, Magnus. Magnus Bane is an openly bisexual male who doesn't conform to gender roles. He is not ashamed to talk about his past relationships with both men and women, which is something that is not really seen within the LGBT community. People often hide their sexuality or gender identity due to fear of being treated differently, but Magnus is so open about his sexuality. He is not ashamed of who he is and is proud of his identity, something everyone should aspire to be, regardless of their gender identity or sexuality.

Magnus embraces his femininity, unlike a lot of cisgender men. He wears makeup (specifically eyeliner, which he describes as his tiger stripes) and paints his nails, something which is a stereotypically feminine trait (although that is slowly changing). As well as this, a lot of his clothing could be described as 'feminine'. This shows other LGBTQ+ people that they are able to embrace their femininity regardless of their gender identity; Things should not be gendered. Experimenting with your gender expression should not be looked down on. Everyone should be able to be free to express themselves however they want without fear of judgement. Magnus’ character is the embodiment of this. He is never judged for how he expresses himself.

Magnus is also shown to struggle with the loss of magic and therefore turns to alcohol, which is a very negative coping mechanism. He ends up having a breakdown in front of his (at the time) boyfriend as a result of drinking too much and not being able to cope with his magic being taken away. Magnus has friends who help him through his loss, especially Alec, who reminds him he is no less of a person without his magic and that he still loves him regardless. People often turn to alcohol or drugs as they believe it will distract them from their issues, which is why this portrayal is very true to the real world. Magnus feels a loss of identity through losing his magic, which is to be expected since he has has magic for over four hundred years. He feels powerless and useless without this huge part of him, however he is lucky to have a huge support system to help him through his dark times.

As well as the trauma from losing his magic twice, Magnus also suffers from PTSD due to events of his past. When body swapped with Valentine, the Clave use the agony rune on Magnus as a form of torture to get him to tell them where the Mortal Cup is. The rune only ends up bringing up past trauma which he has spent centuries trying to bury. After returning to his body, Magnus talks to Alec about what he did and explains that he never wanted Alec to see this ugly side of him. Showing Magnus so vulnerable and talking about his trauma shows people that opening up can help them move on from events of the past. Alec is extremely comforting towards Magnus and expresses how he thinks there is nothing ugly about him. This seems to be a huge relief for Magnus.

Next, Shadowhunter Alec. Alec Lightwood is one of the few gay characters who hasn't been portrayed in a stereotypical way. He is the leader of the New York Institute and is incredibly masculine, which is very different to how gay men are usually portrayed in the media. Having a (now openly) gay man be someone that high up in status is important as it shows other gay or LGBTQ+ people that they can do everything that a non LGBTQ+ person can do and more. By being open about the fact he is gay to the rest of the Institute, it gives other LGBTQ+ Shadowhunters the confidence to be able to talk about their sexuality or gender, as shown by Underhill who tells Alec how inspirational he is. As well as other characters now being confident in opening up about their sexuality, a lot of fans would have also found inspiration in Alec's bravery to come out the way he did. Alec also dealt with a lot of internalised homophobia due to his status and his family, which is something a lot of people can relate to as people are often ashamed of their sexuality due to judgemental family or how society can portray the LGBTQ+ community. Alec managed to get rid of the internalised homophobia with the help of his family and friends, and his now husband. This shows to fans that there are people who support them greatly and will never judge them. Having supportive people around you can help immensely and can save someone's life.

In season 2 episode 4, Alec is possessed by a demon who uses his body to kill Jocelyn, Clary’s mother. He feels incredibly guilty about this and blames himself, despite the others telling him not to. We don’t see much more about Alec’s guilt until season 2 episode 8, in which Alec’s worst fears are brought out due to Iris’ attack on Magnus’ apartment. When talking to Clary on the balcony, he hears her blame him for her mother’s death, when in reality she is trying to talk him down from the balcony. He tries to jump, but luckily Magnus catches him before he manages to. After the attack has been resolved, Magnus talks about how magic cannot create fears, but bring them out, showing just how much Jocelyn’s death effected Alec. As well as Alec almost falling from the balcony, we see him repeatedly shoot arrows which results in his fingers bleeding. This seems like a type of self harm for him, as he doesn’t use the healing rune to fix up the wounds. Magnus points this out as well as the fact that Alec is clearly hurting due to what the demon did. He explains that Alec hopes the pain in his fingers will overpower the pain he is feeling from the guilt, but that it is not that easy. Magnus does all he can to try and comfort Alec.

In the finale of season 3B, we see Alec as Inquisitor and Magnus as High Warlock of Alicante. Previously, there would never have been a High Warlock for any of the Shadowhunter cities, as Downworlders and Shadowhunters were generally separated. By being open about their relationship and Alec being so high in power, they managed to change how the Shadowhunters treat other Downworlders. They ultimately end up working with each other instead of against. Magnus and Alec changed the world with their relationship. They ended the blatant racism between Downworlders and Shadowhunters and they are finally treated as equal.

When planning his and Magnus’ wedding, he states he would like to have it at the Institute. He explains that this is because the Clave would have to celebrate a relationship between a Shadowhunter and a Downworlder under their own roof. Having the wedding in the Institute shows how much Alec is willing to do to abolish the clear racism and hatred of Downworlders within the Clave. This, along with several other acts during the one year time skip (I imagine), had a huge effect on the perception on Downworlders and both Shadowhunters and Downworlders end up working together.

Raphael Santiago is (while nothing is explicitly said about his sexuality) an asexual vampire. He explains to Izzy that he's not interested in sex, implying he is asexual, which was then comfirmed by the book writer, Cassandra Clare. Vampires are often portrayed as sexual beings in the media, and the fact that Raphael is asexual is completely different from the norm. There isn't a lot of asexual representation in the media and is often completely forgotten about, so seeing a character be open about his asexuality to one of his friends gives representation to an often ignored sexuality. Having this kind of representation is important as it lets other asexual people know they aren't alone and also validates their feelings.

Raphael also manages to keep his faith throughout his life time despite everything he has been through. When he becomes mundane again, he talks about how he went to morning mass for the first time in 80 years. In the season finale of 3B, he states to Simon and Isabelle that he joined the seminary and is on his way to becoming a priest. Despite the hell he has been through, he still managed to keep his faith and intends to devote his life to it. To other religious people who might watch the show, it tells them that they should never give up on their faith, regardless of what they go through. Despite not being a religious person myself, I can fully understand how that may be comforting.

We see Raphael’s sister struggle with dementia as it ultimately worsens and she easily forgets who Raphael is. Despite her not knowing who he is, he visits her often and spends as much time as possible with her. In season 3 episode 3, Raphael gets a phone call from the nursing home explaining that she has passed away. This very clearly affects him a lot, and he immediately turns to Izzy for comfort. He is upset that he cannot attend her funeral due to it being during the day, so Izzy promises that she will go in his place. When he becomes mundane again, he goes to Rosa’s grave and plants flowers for her, something he hadn’t been able to do previously. I think this would have been a huge weight off of his chest.

In season 3 episode 5, the head of security, Underhill, talks to Alec about how he is an inspiration for being in a same sex relationship with a downworlder. He explains that if it wasn’t for Alec he would have never had the courage to come out to the Institute. He had to keep his private life separate from his job at the institute until Alec had the courage to show his true feelings for Magnus. This just proves how much of an inspiration Alec is to the rest of the Institute.

As well as Underhill, Shadowhunters Helen (who is half Seelie) and Aline also end up having the courage to be together. In the finale, we see them kiss at Alec and Magnus’ wedding after talking about what they could wear for their own wedding. Their relationship is a similar one to Alec and Magnus, as it is a same sex relationship and one of them is part Downworlder. If it wasn’t for Magnus and Alec being open about their relationship, I doubt they would have been able to be public with their own.

Luke Garroway’s partner, Ollie Wilson, is also in a same sex relationship. While she and her girlfriend, Sam, are a minor part of the show, it gives us another same sex relationship but with mundanes instead of the Shadow World. The two share everything with each other and seem to be in a very committed and loving relationship.

The show also deals with drug addiction, as seen in Isabelle Lightwood. Victor Aldertree gives Izzy Yin Fen, a drug made from vampire venom, as a pain relief for her demon wound. Yin Fen is immediately addicting and Aldertree gives her a jar of it to use when she needs it. Once she finds out what it is from the Iron Sisters, she tried to stay clean, but ends up suffering from really bad withdrawals. In response to this, she tries to find some vampires who are willing to feed from her to get her fix of venom. Raphael agrees to do this, which only gets him addicted to her blood. They both agree that it would be best for them both to stop. Izzy then uses candy as a way to control her withdrawals. Through this and the support of her brother, she manages to stay clean.

Abuse is also heavily dealt with. Johnathan, Clary’s brother, was sent to Edom at a young age and suffered torture from Lilith. She burned him constantly, and when he returned to Earth, he continued to burn himself as a sort of reminder. As well as physically abusing Johnathan, Lilith also mentally abused him, telling him that no one would come for him. This clearly affected him for the rest of his life and he continues to struggle with the trauma of the abuse. When connected by the twinning rune, the behaviour of burning himself was also transferred to Clary. They slowly become more connected and behaviours are shared.

Every topic discussed within the show was dealt with in a very mature and understanding way. With such heavy topics being included, there is always the potential for there to be bad writing as people often struggle to understand certain concepts, but they were all very well written and dealt with maturely. All of these things combined have made Shadowhunters one of the most representative shows to ever exist. These are the reasons why it has become one of my favourite shows and why I will never let it go, even though it’s officially over. It didn’t deserve to end at all, but I’m just glad we got to have this amazing show exist in the first place.

Thank you to the cast and crew, who have done an amazing job portraying some of the best characters and storylines. Thank you for making me and a lot of others feel like they aren’t alone in the world.

[somuchfuckingsalt]

Percy Earned his leadership

Okay, the thing is I get almost personally offended when the fandom tries to write off Percy’s leadership because that boy earned the right to be CHB’s leader.

First off, the way that RR wrote the first five books was in a way where when you combine them together, you can track one cohesive story the same way you’d do with a single story.

TLT is Act 1. It establishes the setting, the characters, and the story. While there aren’t a lot of leadership moments for Percy, because it’s the first act Percy has a lot of moments where you can see his various skills that will lead him to becoming a good leader coming through. This includes his ability to think on his feet (how he dealt with the love ride), manipulate (Crusty), and make the necessary calls needed for the good of the world (sacrificing Sally to return to the surface and stop the war).

There isn’t a lot that happens in this book that happens that changes Percy’s internally and turns him into more of a leader. Aside from the decision to leave his mom behind, every moment of ‘leadership’ that he has are small, baby step versions of leadership. This book is mainly just getting Percy accustomed to being in the situations where a leader is needed while not necessarily pushing him into a leadership position (while Percy was technically the leader of the quest he relied heavily on Grover, Annabeth, and Chiron since he was so new to the world).

SoM is Act 2. Since we know who Percy is and we don’t need to be coaxed into loving him like the first book, this book is the one where Percy probably receives the most help. This is also the ‘training montage’ portion of the story and likely the reason that the Sea of Monsters was chosen as the setting.

There are a few moments in the book where Percy takes the necessary steps to become a leader but most notably are.

Making the decision to send Clarisse on ahead.

Stepping up and confronting Luke on behalf of all four of them.

The beginning of the book where the campers poorly treat him and Tyson is also important for two reasons. The first being that Percy sticking by Tyson despite the poor treatment shows what a good person he is, even though we know he’s resentful of the situation and Tyson. The second is that part of the reason Percy is so resentful is because the last time he was at camp he was Hot Shit. Everyone thought he was the bees knees because he had completed a quest and prevented a war. By having Percy be ostracized for his association with a “monster” Rick not only prevented Percy from developing an ego but it also teaches him something all leaders need to know - which is that public opinion is extremely fickle. 

This is also the book where we first hear that Percy is an ‘unreliable weapon’. Kronos specifically does not want Percy to be the prophecy child because he knows that Percy is difficult to predict, manipulate, and control. The gods themselves would be way less scared about how powerful Percy is if he was easier to control. By Percy being difficult to manipulate, that means he’s not going to wind up pulling all the people he’s leading in the wrong direction because someone else is pulling his strings. 

TTC is Act 3 and the mid-story low-point. This is the book where Percy fucks up the most.

He lets his jealousy of Thalia cloud his judgement, which directly leads to Annabeth getting captured.

He again lets his jealousy and pride cloud his judgement which causes the campers to lose to the Hunters.

A tiny moment but he’s so upset over Annabeth possibly becoming a hunter that he nearly kills an Ares camper with a javelin.

He’s so pissed at Mr. D he almost lets his anger prevent them from getting help, which would have led to all of them dying.

All of Percy’s fuck ups teach him that he needs to not let his emotions cloud his judgement and clearly see in BotL and TLO that Percy has learned his lesson. Even when his parents are in danger or he has his own personal drama with Annabeth and Rachel, he’s able to focus on the task at hand.

(The one time that Percy lets his emotions take control is when he takes off in the Labyrinth alone because he thinks Nico is nearby and he’s extremely worried about Nico because he cares a lot about him despite what Rick and his ghost writers say).

They also serve as a humbling experience to keep his ego in check, because at the beginning of the book we’re told that Percy had become accustomed to campers looking to him and up to him after having completed two dangerous quests. His issue with Thalia is that he feels she gets all the attention because Zeus is her father (whether that’s a justified feeling or not). This shows us that not only does Percy have some sort of expectation of leadership but also that as someone who spent his whole life either in the corner or in bad light, he has enjoyed being in the spotlight even if only a little bit, and now he’s missing it. 

This is also the book where Percy accepts the prophecy and basically puts himself in a leadership position for the sake of protecting Nico. However, for me, this isn’t the most meaningful leadership moment.

Percy’s big leadership moment in this book for me is when he takes the sky from Artemis and this is the big moment for many reasons.

For one, it shows that he has learned from his past mistakes of wanting to be the one to turn to. He acknowledges he’s not going to defeat Atlas and takes himself out of the fight so Artemis can fight instead. This is a great juxtaposition to the beginning of the story when he wanted to be on the front lines during capture the flag and have Thalia instead guard the flag (even though Thalia was right about the river).

For two, it shows his ability to make sacrifices because he knows very well that he can die.

And for three, it is his idea, his decision, and he has to convince Artemis it’s also a good idea.

BotL is Act IV, the rising action. The stakes are higher, the situation is more dangerous than ever, and our protagonist is digging himself out from under his mistakes of the previous act.

This is the book that while Percy has learned most of what he needs to in order to become a leader and has even chosen a leadership role, he’s not the one in charge. Annabeth is.

This book is literally Percy being Annabeth’s second-in-command because before you can lead, you need to learn how to follow. This is important to happen here because in the previous three books Percy either didn’t want to be a leader and/or he was fucking it up and had a lot to learn.

This is the book that shows us two things: 1) Percy's ability to sacrifice his personal wants and desires for the greater good and 2) why he is the best option to lead.

He does #1 first at Mt. St. Helens when he sends Annabeth away, because in the situation she’s the one that needs to get back for the greater good. Then the second time was when he sacrificed a peaceful eternity with Calypso for the greater good (not Annabeth, which the fandom, Rick, and his ghost writers seem to have forgotten).

Everyone is going to hate me for what I’m about to say next but bear with me. The BotL is showing us why Annabeth, the daughter of war and battle strategy, is not going to be the leader of their army in the series climax. To be clear, Annabeth is not a bad leader, in fact she is a good one, my point for the next bit here is why she’s not the best option. Throughout the book we see Annabeth repeatedly making the same mistakes that Percy made in the previous book; she lets her emotions get the better of her and cloud her judgement. 

The Sphynx moment is her letting her pride overtake her better judgement and she puts everyone at risk by refusing to answer the questions over an insult to her intelligence.

Absolutely everything with Rachel is an issue. From the first moment Annabeth sees Rachel and Percy together she is jealous and she treats Rachel terribly. First off, this is poor behaviour in general (and it should have been addressed in series and apologized for) but as a leader it’s poor for a few reasons.

Firstly, that as a leader she needs to know how to put her emotions aside in order to work with everyone, regardless of her personal feelings towards them. By not being able to be at least polite to Rachel, she risked Rachel saying fuck this, I’m out (probably the only reason Rachel didn’t is because she’s chill and she knew it was a world ending problem they were dealing with).

Secondly, it shows a certain amount of immaturity. The thing with jealousy is that although it’s not a reasonable emotion, how you handle it shows how mature you are. The fact that when Annabeth becomes petty and vindictive when she’s jealous shows a lot of emotional immaturity. 

Thirdly, she doesn’t fucking learn anything as we see her behaving the same way towards Rachel in TLO, made worse by the fact that she’s also attacking Percy. This isn’t entirely her fault because these actions don’t have any consequences that make her want to change her behaviour. Leaders need to be able to learn and adapt and check their own behaviour.

(honestly, the fact that Annabeth ended the series without at least trying to get over her pride and abandonment issues makes me feel like her character arc is incomplete).

TLO is Act V and the grand finale. It’s the book where Percy is 100% the Boss. It is the culmination of everything that he’s learned and shows off all the things he has that makes him a good leader.

Leaders need to know when to make sacrifices, evident by when he leaves Beckendorf and when he takes a million-to-one chance by dipping in the Styx in order to gain a chance at winning this war.

He’s cunning and manipulative, shown when he bribes the river gods into playing for his team.

He’s incredibly good at battle strategy, shown when he manages to make a plan that allows 70ish campers/hunters to defend the entire island of Manhattan from hundreds, if not thousands of soldiers from Kronos’s army.

He’s well spoken, shown when he’s able to get the campers pumped before the first battle.

He cares about the people that he’s leading. In the previous book he didn’t know Castor’s name before he died and he felt bad about that, so in this book every time he mentions a demigod it’s by name.

He’s clever, shown when he’s able to figure out literally on the fly how to kill the pig and that the hero that dies in the prophecy is Luke. He also figures out that Typhon won’t be defeated without Poseidon and knows what to say in order to get Poseidon to abandon the ocean battle and help the rest of the gods.

(Lowkey-highkey Percy is the reason that Typhon was defeated at all, because without him Poseidon would have never joined the fight and the gods would have failed, which would have meant that regardless of Kronos dying they would have been fucked)

He’s able to focus on the task at hand despite his emotional problems. This includes the times that his parents are put in the line of fire, both when they’re asleep and awake and when the Annabeth/Rachel drama is making him all kinds of angry and upset. In all those situations he’s able to carry on and largely ignore them in order to focus on the war.

To me, his deference to Chiron before the war officially begins is Percy a) being so used to following Chiron in everything and respecting the centaur as a leader and b) not entirely confident in himself and needing that confirmation that he’s in charge. While it’s never stated in the books that Percy enjoys being a leader, we never really see Percy lamenting that he wishes someone else was in charge even when he was neck deep in danger and death and stress.

No one ever questions the fact that Percy’s in charge. There isn’t ever a power struggle. Even with Thalia and Annabeth - both of whom have their own merits to make them leaders and the ambition/pride to make them chafe under the leadership of someone else. Everyone easily accepts and looks to Percy to be their leader.

I’m sorry if this comes off as rant-y and I’m likely going to piss a bunch of people off with my opinion on Annabeth’s faults, but Percy literally went through so much shit and learned and changed in order to be a good leader that it honestly makes me angry when people write him off for the sake of uplifting someone else. 

[haberdashing]

And Freedom’s A Fairy Tale Lie (4/?)

When Michael is transformed just before killing Jon, the face the Distortion next wears is one much more familiar to Jon than that of Helen Richardson.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

on AO3

Jon realized now as he sat in his chair facing the desks of the archival assistants, three faces with varying levels of interest staring back at him, that it had been a long time since he’d had a meeting like this with them.

Had the last time he’d met with all his archival assistants at once, on purpose, to share information, been that “intervention” Elias and the rest had arranged?

...no. No, he refused to consider that thing that had taken Sasha’s place one of his assistants. By that logic, Martin, or the creature now using his name and appearance, still was as well, and he wasn’t sitting here now, was he?

(Part of Jon half-expected him to turn up at just the thought of it, expected to see a goldenrod door appear out of nowhere and creak open slowly but surely; Jon wasn’t sure if he was more relieved or disappointed when one in fact failed to materialize.)

“So.” Jon clasped his hands together, twiddling his thumbs idly as he spoke. A small gesture, but one he hadn’t been able to engage in for over a month now. Sometimes the little things make all the difference. “I told Melanie this much already, but the rest of you ought to know that the reason I haven’t been in the Archives since April was because I was kidnapped.”

“Again?” Basira asked, her voice calm and flat.

“Again?” Melanie echoed, her voice very much not calm; Jon hadn’t realized until now that their confrontation with Elias hadn’t actually explained the whole Daisy kidnapping him thing, though it had revealed plenty of other information along the way.

“Again, yes.” Jon said, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke, his eyes focused more on Basira than Melanie.

“Is there a reason you had to gather us all together to tell us this, or are you just here to throw a pity party?” There was a sharp undercurrent to Tim’s voice, a vicious sarcasm that hurt Jon more than his rope burns.

“Yes, there’s a point to all of this, just give me a moment to get there-”

“Is that an occupational hazard around here, getting kidnapped?” Jon wanted to believe that Melanie was joking, but he wasn’t so sure.

“Wouldn’t surprise me at this point, given that apparently becoming a monster’s par for the course now.” Tim glared pointedly at Jon as he spoke, and much as Jon wanted to think that Tim was referring to the thing that had taken Sasha’s place, the fierceness of that glare suggested otherwise.

“No, no, I don’t think the rest of you are in danger of it, it sounded like the circus wanted me specifically, something about my skin being special-”

Tim’s hands curled into fists. “You were kidnapped by the circus?”

“Yes?” Jon hadn’t been expecting for that point specifically to be questioned out of everything he had to go over, all the ground he had to cover in explaining where he’d been for over a month. “The circus wanted me for their grand ritual, the, the Unknowing, they kidnapped me to be part of it-”

“What the hell is the Unknowing, and why haven’t you mentioned any of this to me sooner? Any of you, for that matter?”

“Well, you haven’t exactly been around to tell-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Melanie!”

Basira just watched, leaning back in her chair as if the argument unfolding in front of her was mere idle people-watching. Perhaps it was in her book.

Jon tried and largely failed to suppress a soft, shaky laugh as he spoke up again. “This- this isn’t even the part I thought you’d be interested in!”

“Oh yeah?” Tim looked Jon right in the eye, then, and the fierceness of Tim’s gaze made Jon shiver a little. “What’s the part you thought I’d be interested in, then?”

“The part where Martin showed up... well. Sort of.”

“Sort of? How did Martin ‘sort of’ show up in the middle of your circus kidnapping?”

“It’s, it’s complicated-”

“’Course it is.”

“And it, it wasn’t in the middle of it, it was at the end, it’s the reason I was able to get back here in the first place-”

“Jon.” Tim stood up suddenly, pressing his hands against his desk; he couldn’t very effectively loom over Jon when his desk was several feet away from where Jon was sitting, but he certainly attempted to do so just the same. “What happened to Martin?”

“He turned into Michael.” Jon couldn’t meet Tim’s fiery gaze, instead looking back down at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers as he spoke. “Or- or Michael turned into him. Or both. I don’t entirely understand it, but I- I think that might well be the point.”

Tim sat back down, though his arms remained atop his desk, splayed out haphazardly. “Start from the beginning.”

“Well, Michael- there’s a reason it used that name, why it looked so human. Michael Shelley was one of Gertrude’s assistants, she, she got him to enter the Distortion during its ritual, to become the Distortion.”

Tim snorted. “So there’s precedent, then.”

“What, you think he’s going to sacrifice one of us next?” Melanie’s face paled slightly at the thought, though her eyes were filled with cold determination not to be the next victim.

“No, that’s not- no.” Jon shook his head roughly, trying to ignore how his hands shook at just the thought of it. “And if you’re trying to reference what happened to Sasha, that wasn’t my doing.”

“Maybe not, but you knew, didn’t you? You knew before the rest of us did, and you didn’t say a damn word-”

“I was literally wanted for murder, Tim. Or did you forget that bit? Did you expect me to waltz into the Archives and just wait to get arrested? If you’re going to be mad at anyone for that, I’m pretty sure Elias knew the whole time. By all means, go yell at him for it.”

“I’m not yelling.” Tim slumped down in his chair. “So- so how does the Michael bit connect back to Martin?”

“Well, Michael... showed up, when I was kidnapped. To kill me. Because things weren’t bad enough already, obviously...”

Jon heard a soft snort, realized with a start that it had come from Basira; evidently she was hanging onto the conversation just fine, despite her cool and quiet demeanor that might suggest otherwise.

“I tried to open its door, but it was locked. Even Michael couldn’t open the door for me. After it tried, it... screamed and distorted before disappearing entirely, and then the door opened. And what was within it looked like Martin, a little, like Michael might have looked like Michael Shelley once did, but... wrong. The same giant hands, the same unnatural height. Whatever’s in there wants to be called Martin now, but I don’t... I don’t know how much it really is him. If at all.”

Tim let out a long sigh. “Why does everybody I care about end up becoming a monster?”

Jon’s aimless fidgeting stopped as he considered the implications of that question, tried to figure out how best to answer it.

Sasha, Martin, Jon himself. All three of them had known Tim; all three of them had changed dramatically in the last year, changed due to a connection to the supernatural. It might have been comforting to know that Tim cared about Jon as much as the other two if he wasn’t being called a monster in the process.

Was he a monster? He’d asked Elias if he was still human and hadn’t gotten a straight answer, which wasn’t exactly a surprise, but what Elias had said on the subject wasn’t entirely reassuring. But even if Jon wasn’t human, that didn’t mean he was necessarily a monster, did it? Maybe he was an avatar, like Georgie had said, somewhere in between fully human and fully other...

And part of Jon, that part that was other, was perhaps monstrous, sensed that it wasn’t just the three of them that Tim was referring to. There was another story there, one that Jon wanted to know, but--but he wasn’t going to do that to Tim. Even if part of him wanted to rip out the story no matter the cost. Even if part of him relished in the thought that he could.

Jon had only managed a soft “Tim...” before Tim stood up, pushing his chair in and turning away from Jon.

“The three of you can keep doing... whatever this is. Decompressing, getting your precious intel, I don’t know. But I’m out of here. I’m done.”

“Tim, wait!”

Tim walked off, turned the corner and disappeared as he entered another hallway.

Jon stood up, shakily, seeing Melanie and Basira’s eyes staring up at him as he did so. There was more to tell them, more to explain about what had happened, but-

But all that could wait.

Jon hesitated for only a moment before following in Tim’s footsteps, taking the same path that Tim had, walking as fast as he could manage until he and Tim were almost side by side.

[phlipshea]

hi  im  still  not  over  how  revolutionary  the  french  were  with  their  take  on  philip/lukas and here’s my ted talk

they  had  a  gay  couple  as  lead  protagonists

they  didn’t  kill  either  of  them

they  didn’t  have  a  cheating  plot  /  a  girl  as  a  beard  (  THAT NEVER HAPPENS  )   

no  toxic  masculinity  driving  the  internal  homophobia

no  violence  resulting  from  the  internal  homophobia  or at all,  even  though  his  friend  encouraged  him  to  fight -- and  instead  he  pushed  the  friend  and  calmly  walked  off  with  philip,  even though he was mad at him at the time.  Like  yeah,  he  called  Philip  a  loser  while  he  walked  off,  but  it  wasn’t  bad,  it  was  something  that  even  friends  would  do  if  they  were  mad. It  wasn’t  claiming  he  was  a  fucking  stalker  :/

Lucas  didn’t  utter  a  single  homophobic  comment  or  slur  (  all  he  did  was  press  on  he  wasn’t  gay  like  it  was  a  casual  fact lmao  no  boy  )

There  was  still  no  forcing  someone  out  of  the  closet,  just  circumstances  that  built  up  to  a  point  they  couldn’t  not  give  their  testimony.

the gay couple  was  not  fetishized  anyway  or  set  up  to  be.  It  was  very  much  emotionally  based,  which  allowed  audiences  to  separate  lust  from  genuine  love.  (  Also  it  was  a  good  move  in  all  ways,  especially  as  minors )

how  it’s  better  than  USA’s

All of the above!!!!

No  emotional  manipulation  or  toxic  qualities  like  eyewitness’  text-book  definition  of  a  toxic  relationship  (  if  you  like  me,  you’ll  do  this  /  i’m   going  to  use  the  fact  you  like  me  to  my  advantage )

Besides  a  moment  of  panic  and  pettiness  ( whiCH WAS ACTUALLY VALID TBH IN THIS SPECIFIC TAKE ),   there  was  no  lying  to  bring  the  other  person  down.  

There  was  logical  reasonings  in  the  irrational

They  didn’t  exploit  any  girls  for  the  sake  of  proving  they  weren’t  gay.  Just  a  moment  of  pettiness  where  Lucas  kissed  a  girl  to  make  Yan  mad.  And  again,  they  actually  managed  to  make  Lucas’  pettiness  valid  in  this  one  because  the  stakes  weren’t  that  high --  but  still  making  Yan  equally  valid  with  the  circumstances  that  lead  his  thought  process  to  acting  on  his  own  fear.

There  was  no  possessive  behavior,  just  absolute  love.  (  I’m  going  to  give  Helen  the  gun  because  you can’t leave, you’re mine.   Instead,  it  was  ‘I  feel  really  bad  and  going  to  constantly  APOLOGIZE  for  being  an  asshole,  I  didn’t  realize  just  how  bad  it  affected  you.  I’m  so  sorry  and  I  care  about  you  and  will  explain  all  my  intentions  that  aren’t  excuses )

Lucas  never  pushed  Philip  away  at  school,   but  calmly  engaged  in  private  conversations  while  walking  with  him  in  the  hall  or  to  the  side  where  people  saw  them.  He  didn’t   trash  Philip  afterwards  to  cover  up  why  he  was  doing  that.  It  was  a  very  much  ‘mind your business.’

He  actually  listened  to  Philip  when  he  expressed  his  panic,  like  believing  him  when  he  accused  someone  of  something.  He  only  took  his  anger  out  on  people  who  deserved  it  -- like  people  blackmailing  him.  Fucking  valid!!  Also,  as  a  reaction  to  hearing/seeing  the  killer,  his  first  instinct  was  to  protect  Philip  and  get  him  far  away -- rather  than  telling  him  to  get  out  and  not  draw  the  killer  to  himself.  Tally  mark  of  Lucas  saving  his  life  is  two.  It  would  have  been  three  but  he  wasn’t  fast  enough  to  take  credit  for  something  else,  but  he  tried.  HE TRIED!!!   lIKE  HE HEARD  PHILIP  WAS  MISSING  AND  WENT  OUT  OF  HIS  WAY  TO  LOOK  EVERYWHERE  INCLUDING  SKETCHY  PLACES

The  only  time  he  accused  Philip  of  lying  was  valid  because  like............Philip was going  to  do  what  he  said  he  did,  had  Lucas  not  shown  up. ( lmao )

That  scene  where  he  just  ‘theyre  gonna  find  out  anyway’  and  held  Philip’s  hand  while  an  FBI  agent  was  following  him,  and  proceeded  to  kiss  him  in  front  of  him  ( lmao )

Lucas  was  genuinely  charming??? He  was  funny,  actually  smart,  admirable  in  his  talent  because  he  was  confident  and  showing  off  but  it  was  also  clear  he  just  really  loved  what  he  was  doing,  and  like...when  philip  kissed  him  he  just  laughed  and  was  like “what are you doing?”  and  it  was......dare i  say....cute?  It  wasn’t  to  make  philip  feel  bad  about  himself,  but  lead  into  him  just  teasing  him  and  kissing  him  first  out  of  a  “what  would  you  do  if  I  was  a  girl?”  proceeded  by  this  fucker  being  cocky  as  fuck,  even  though  its  fucking  clear  as  day  he’s  gay  and  had  never  wanted  to  kiss  a  girl --  it  was  just  him........being.........that  way.  ( I  love  him  ).   when  he  lied  it  didn’t  effect  anyone  else,  he  protected  people,  he  used  1  girl  to  make  philip  jealous  and  that  girl  was  creepy  af  and  i  dont  care  for  her.  

  I  couldn’t  buy  philip  being  in  loved  with   USA   LUKAS  and  headcanon  he  just  had  survivor’s  guilt  and  just.........oof....that  boy.   It  was  a  lot  more  believable  this  round.

anyway.  I’m  emotional  because  I  didn’t  get  to  see  my  boy  in  a  season  2  where  he  would  have  had  development,   but  I  got  something  so much better.   

[language-rxgers]

Best Boyfriend You’ve Never Had (Bucky x Reader)- Part 3

Summary: The wedding is now in two weeks, and the Reader and Bucky do some planning on the backstory of their ‘relationship’. A mission doesn’t go as expected, and Steve suggests the reader and Bucky head for the wedding early as a well-earned break. 

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Bruce Banner (briefly mentioned), Thor Odinson (briefly mentioned), Maria Hill (briefly mentioned), Helen Cho (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Panic attack, slight angst, comforting, cuddling, fluff

Word Count: 3634 (holy cow!)

Masterlist

Part 2 (Previous) / Part 4

You were sitting in your room, reading a book with the TV quietly playing a random show for background noise, your attention consumed by the plot unraveling in the pages under your gaze. Your fingers fiddled with the corner of the page you were reading before eagerly turning it to the next, your brow furrowed in bewilderment. You barely registered the soft rapping of knuckles on your doorframe until the sound of your name spoken in the voice you knew so well pulled you from the world of Paul Sheldon and the psychotic Annie Wilkes. Your eyes reluctantly tore their gaze from the story to the doorway, soaking in the sight of Bucky leaning relaxed against the frame, arms crossed and long dark locks tucked behind his ears. You smiled in greeting. He was dressed in a black V-neck tee with dark grey sweatpants resting low on his hips, feet clad in the fuzzy red and green striped reading socks you’d bought him for Christmas last year. He looked as comfortable as you felt in his presence.

“Hey stranger,” you spoke softly, as if afraid to break the peaceful ambience that had settled in your room at the late hour. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you all day, where ya been?” You closed your book and set it down as you turned to face the broad-shouldered man. He shrugged.

“Had some stuff to get done, been running all around the city. But I tell ya, the only thing I could think about all day was gettin’ back and spending the evening with my best girl.” He grinned in an almost boy-like manner, like a child who was hopefully awaiting a response after asking for a second cookie. You couldn’t help the beam that spread across your face, the giddy flutter in your chest that was always expected after Bucky chose to hang out with you. You couldn’t describe the feeling that came with knowing that in that moment, he had chosen to spend time with you, and only you.

You patted the space on your bed beside you, lifting your covers as you climbed under them. The Brooklynite’s grin seemed to grow even wider as he nearly jumped into the bed with you throwing an arm around your shoulders as he pulled you close and held you tight.

You had never been someone who was very comfortable with physical contact, enjoying your personal space. In fact, you had never been too touchy-feely in any of the aspects of the topic; as an adolescent and young adult, you rarely said ‘I love you’, hardly gave hugs, barely even gave a reassuring pat of the shoulder when comforting a friend. There was no dark or tragic reason behind your aversion to it, it was just your personality. However, there had always been a small part of you that yearned for someone with whom you could be that comfortable, someone with whom you could let down your walls and be every version of yourself without fear of being judged or scaring them off.

Bucky had been the same way for, obviously, his own valid reasons, of course, and when you’d first met him, you’d taken to each other quite well due to your mutual understanding and respect of each other’s need for personal space. However, as you grew closer and helped each other out of your shells, you slowly became that person for the other. That one with whom you could be comfortable, with whom you could laugh and hug and cry and rant about the littlest things and sit in silence for hours with just the comfort of each other’s company and touch. It felt so liberating, like the weight of never being able to let yourself go and be any version of yourself without fear of judgment was suddenly lifted, like the anvil it had seemed to you was in reality no more than a lightweight feather. Bucky was your person, and you his.

You wrapped your arms around him tightly, feeling all your stresses from the responsibilities of your life and job- two things that were essentially one and the same- slowly melt away in his presence. You let out a content breath, closing your eyes for a brief moment. Bucky reached forward and grabbed the book at the foot of your bed before returning to his prior position, turning it over to see the cover.

“Misery? What’s that about?” You chuckled softly.

“It’s a Stephen King book, s'about an author who gets in a car accident in the middle of nowhere and is pulled out of the wreckage by a woman who turns out to be his biggest fan. She takes him to her house and takes care of him, nursing him back to health, but she finds out that in his newest book, her favorite character Misery is killed off. She forces him to write her a new installment to her liking, and basically keeps him captive in her house in the middle of nowhere as he writes this new story. Chick is batshit crazy, and some other stuff goes down, but that’s the gist of it.”

Bucky let out a thoughtful hum as he flips through the pages. “Sounds pretty miserable.”

“Sure is. Looks like Mr. King chose a fitting title.” You tapped the cover of the book before resting your hand on his chest. You heard a soft thump as Bucky tossed the book back on the bed. Bucky drummed his fingers against your shoulder in an almost thoughtful rhythm.

“So, I’ve recently come to a realization…” you raised an eyebrow in intrigue at his conversation starter. “I’ll be pretending to be your date in two weeks and I don’t know anything about your family, really. I mean, I know the basics, but we’ve never really talked about it.” You furrowed your brows when you realized he was right. It had been almost six weeks since you and Bucky made your arrangement- four since Nat, Wanda and Sam had been made aware of it, and while you had noticed Bucky had been- if possible- even more present in your day to day life since then, you hadn’t actually taken the time to form a plan on your relationship’s backstory or educate him on important information of your family.

He, however, had been certainly outdoing himself as he practiced at being a suitable boyfriend, buying you surprise bouquets of flowers after missions and making coffee for you extra early in the mornings just the way you like it.

“Well, doll, if we’re gonna be a ‘couple’, it’s gotta look like it. We gotta get into some kinda routine if we’re ever gonna convince your family we’re dating. We gotta convince ourselves, so we don’t slip up, I mean.” Bucky had hastily explained when you’d finally questioned his sudden acts of extended chivalry. You had felt your heart drop an inch as you were suddenly snapped out of your ridiculous hoping and reminded that this was all just a ploy. He wasn’t actually interested, just a very devoted friend. That’s all this was, a con to get your family off your back. After the wedding, it would go back to how it was before, playful teasing and playing the wingman/wingwoman for each other at dingy bars on cold Saturday nights.

You nodded thoughtfully. “Oh. Right, I suppose we should figure out what our backstory is, and make sure you actually know who you’ll be spending the weekend with.” You sat up, reaching for your phone before settling back into bed, this time beside Bucky rather than against him. You went into your camera roll, clicking on the album of photos you had taken at your last family reunion a few years ago.

“Now, you know about my mom, Trish, and my dad, Bill-” you pointed to your parents in the picture on the screen. “Then my younger sister Catherine- she’s the one who’s getting married.” You swiped to the next photo. “That’s my uncle, Joe- my dad’s brother, and his wife, Claire. They have two twin sons who are my age, Connor and Joel. The girls in the photo are Connor and Joel’s girlfriends, Holly and Sarah, but Joel and Sarah aren’t together anymore; it’s kind of a funny story, actually…”

You woke up with your cheek squished against your hand, which was resting flat on something broad and hard. You felt your head slowly rising and lowering in even measures- more specifically, the surface on which your head rested- and you sloppily slipped your numb hand out from under your cheek and shook it out, lazily looking up to meet the sight of your best friend looking more peaceful then you’d ever seen him before. Eyes resting shut with long lashes dusting over angular cheekbones, somewhat chapped lips parted slightly to let out soft and deep breaths. You stared in wonder at the sight before you before you realized how weird this must have looked. Staring longingly at the man you were secretly in love with while he slept? How’s that for a creepy cliché?

You rested your head back down on his chest and tried to fall back asleep, but found yourself unable to get your scrambled thoughts to settle in your mind. The wedding is in two weeks. Two weeks. And you had a weeklong mission tomorrow. No, wait, that’s not right. The mission was tomorrow yesterday, so doesn’t that mean…

Your head snapped up in panic. “Shit!” You scrambled up from the bed, effectively awakening the previously peacefully sleeping man beside you. “Buck, get up, we’re gonna be late for the briefing!” You flew around your room, gathering your things and packing your bag before dashing into your closet to change into your gear. You only checked the time after you were done brushing your hair and teeth, seeing you were five minutes late for the briefing. You hurried out of your bathroom only to catch a glimpse of your best friend’s wispy locks before he disappeared out your door. You paused as you noticed your previously unmade bed sitting in the middle of the room, the covers now neatly pulled up and tucked under the pillows, a torn piece of paper sitting in the center of the mattress.

‘Test me about your family on the jet.

-B’

For an unexplained reason you felt a giddy grin spread across your cheeks, and with that, you were out the door, the note firmly in your grasp.

You and Bucky met again as you rushed to the briefing room, sharing a paniked smile before hurrying through the glass doors where the rest of the team were already sitting, Steve in the middle of a sentence.

“Sorry we’re late, we overslept, won’t happen again, Captain,” you rambled apologetically, fixing your hair into a quick ponytail as you caught your breath. Steve’s mouth was slightly agape at the sudden interruption, face stoic and unimpressed.

His expression suddenly changed to possess an amused yet contrastingly almost disapproving-father-like quality. He put a hand on his hip as he stood tall and straight, the other gripping a glossy tablet. “Both of you?” He slightly quirked his head, awaiting an answer. Natasha smirked, and you knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it the whole ride to the mission. You felt your face grow uncomfortably hot, and you knew you were probably beet red by now.

“U-uh, we-” you had no idea how to form a sentence that Sam and Tony wouldn’t overanalyze to death for sexual innuendos. Thankfully, Bucky stepped in, silver tongue saving the day once again.

“(Y/N) and I were talking last night about the wedding and fell asleep on her bed. It was pretty late, so we overslept. Sorry, pal, won’t happen again.” You nodded along with his apology, sliding into a seat and cleared your throat.

“So, what did we miss?” You blatantly ignored the pointed smirks plastered across the faces of Natasha, Sam and Wanda. The rest of the team was a little more subtle, thankfully, but you knew they were all thinking the same thing. It wasn’t easy to hide the fact that you and Bucky were going to a wedding together for two months, so after you made the mistake of spilling the beans to the three amigos, it was less than 24 hours before Sam had blabbed to the rest of the team. Well, not everything, and not everyone. He had only told Steve that Bucky was going with you to your sister’s wedding as a friend, which you’d appreciated greatly. However, Tony had overheard the conversation and then he had told Bruce and Bruce asked Nat about it who had then confirmed Sam’s version. Thor had heard from Steve during one of Tony’s post-mission parties last week, and then suddenly Maria and Helen were unsubtly inquiring about it during girls’ night with you, them, Nat and Wanda a few nights after. So, while the fact that Bucky was playing the boyfriend had managed to remain between you, Nat, Wanda and Sam, you and the dark-haired soldier had been incessantly teased by the rest of the team, namely Tony, the past month of your lives filled with raised eyebrows, not-so-subtle innuendos and Tony’s many attempts at making a couple name for you, none of which having- thankfully- caught on yet.

Steve, who had been the least difficult, took in a breath- his equivalent of “anyway…”- as he got into the briefing once more.

“Steve, what the hell was that?” You stopped the captain as the rest of the team filtered off the jet, all shaken from the mission. It wasn’t particularly difficult, just a smash and grab hostage rescue, but one thing that had not been revealed was the fact that the key target of the HYDRA group who had infiltrated a political meeting in France was none other than the daughter of Alexander Pierce. Bucky had immediately shut down, and you’d only just been able to get him back to the quinjet before his panic attack reared its head. You’d managed to calm him down, staying with him for the rest of the mission on the jet after explaining where you’d gone to the team.

It had been so long since you’d had to comfort Bucky through such an episode; this was only the second one since he’d returned from Wakanda, and in that moment you had felt a pure, blinding rage burn in your chest at Steve for having Bucky face one of the biggest demons of his past once again, though when you’d later had time to reflect, you understood that Steve would have never allowed Bucky to come along had he known all the details. But even if it wasn’t Steve’s fault, Bucky had still suffered. Seeing a piece of the man who had forced him to do such awful things, slowly tearing away piece after piece of the version of himself that Bucky had been desperately trying to hold on to through all those years, it had for a moment sent the man spiraling back to square one. For a moment. And then he had come back to you.

“Shh, Bucky, you’re okay, you’re safe, you’re here. I’m here, it’s (Y/N), I’m right here with you. You’re not alone. Pierce is dead, he’s gone, he’ll never hurt you again, Bucky please, please come back to me…” you rubbed gentle circles into the hyperventilating soldier’s back as he curled into himself, eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched painfully tight. Strong hands tangled in long dark hair, pulling roughly as he shook his head over and over again.

“James Buchanan Barnes, listen to me,” you spoke soft but firm, gently resting a hand on his knee to ground him. You placed your other hand over one of his, still tightly gripping his head, knuckles white with strain. You rubbed your thumb over his skin. When Bucky had been taken into custody after the bombing of the UN and he had been interrogated by Zemo, you’d noticed one thing while listening. When Zemo had called him James, the somber captive had spat out that his name was Bucky, not James. In that moment, you’d realized his name was grounding for him; being able to identify that he wasn’t Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th infantry, he wasn’t the Winter Soldier, he was Bucky, best friend of Steve Rogers and the only person he wants to be. “James, do you remember your name?” You pressed.

Bucky’s chest visibly tightened, his eyes squeezing impossibly tighter, jaw now set in determination. “Bucky.”

“What’s that?” You compelled him to repeat himself, to convince himself, to ground himself.

He let out a strangled grunt as he tried to slow his breathing. “My name, is Bucky.”

“What’s your name?”

His eyes snapped open, staring into your own. You could see the determination in his icy blue orbs. “My name is Bucky Barnes.”

“You’re damn right it is.”

As you reached for Steve’s shoulder and roughly turned him to face you, you were taken aback by the pure shock in his sea-blue eyes. “I-I didn’t know. I didn’t know. They didn’t tell me, I swear, I’d have never… I didn’t know, (Y/N).” You felt guilt wash over you in waves, crashing against the walls of your chest as you pulled the super soldier into a hug.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I know you’d have never let him go along if you’d known. It’s okay. He doesn’t blame you. It’s not your fault. I was just scared.”

Steve gripped you tightly as he shook his head. “I think you should go early.” You frowned at his mumbled comment into your shoulder.

“Pardon?”

Steve straightened up, running a hand over his face as he composed himself. “I think you and Bucky should go to see your family early. He needs it, an escape from all… this. Especially now. He needs to recuperate, be in a place where there’s nothing that can threaten all the progress we’ve made.” You nodded. The wedding was in two weeks, but you new Bucky could definitely use a break, and your family wouldn’t mind you coming early.

“You can leave tomorrow if you’d like.”

“Okay, tell me again.” You were on the plane to your hometown, and your knee hadn’t stopped bouncing the whole flight. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“(Y/N), we’ve been over this so many times, I won’t forget anything.” You gave him a pointed look, asking him to humor you. He sighed.

“Your mom’s name is Trish and your dad’s name is Bill. She is a grade 2 teacher and he’s a mechanic. Your sister Catherine is two years younger than you and is getting married to a guy named Thomas. Your dog is named Ace, he’s a golden lab-boxer mix and is the only member I’m looking forward to meeting.” You jabbed his ribs with your elbow.

“I’m kidding!” He chuckled as he nursed his side.

“And us?” Bucky smoothed out his shirt and fixed an imaginary necktie before clearing his throat and taking a deep breath dramatically. You snorted at his theatricality.

“We’ve been dating for six months and two weeks; our anniversary is the 10th of March because I asked you out on my birthday after I told you that you were what I wished for.” You smiled at this. Bucky had suggested this detail. “For our six month anniversary, if anyone asks, I made you a home cooked meal of roast chicken, seasoned rice, green beans and sautéed mushrooms, your favorite meal from back home, and I bought you a bouquet of orange tiger lilies, your favorite flower.” You were still surprised when Bucky had suggested this, touched that he’d remembered you mentioning your fondness of the flowers in passing when you were telling him about your family early in your friendship. “Our relationship is obviously serious enough that I’m attending your sister’s wedding with you, but we haven’t yet talked about our future other than what we want eventually in life, so we’re just going with it at the moment. Our jobs are hectic, but we make it work, and we’re happy.”

You couldn’t help as the corners of your lips tugged upwards at his words. Even if you’d gone over this extensively during the flight and it was all just a ruse, you still felt a flutter in your chest at his words. Even if it was all pretend, even if none of those things had happened and he didn’t mean anything he was saying, you allowed yourself for a moment to believe that this was real. That Bucky was in fact in a relationship with you and you were blissfully happy. That he had eyes only for you, and he cared so deeply for you. That he maybe even loved you…

You shook yourself out of your thoughts, chastising yourself as you cleared your throat. “Yep, that sounds good. They’ll, uh… they’ll eat it right up.” Bucky’s proud smile seemed to falter for a moment as he studied your eyes before picking up brighter than ever, and he bumped your shoulder with his.

“We’re so gonna be couple goals,” he grinned. You rolled your eyes. “It will be lit,” he announced, and you groaned. You should not have shown him that modern slang website.

“Oh God, do not say that when we get there.” You put a hand over your face. This would be a long two weeks.

Part 2 (Previous) / Part 4 (Next)

A/N: Sorry for the wait, this was kind of a filler chapter to fill you in on what’s happened over the time skip (because two months is a long time and the real action will all happen in the two weeks leading up to the wedding and then after). Once again, part 4 will most likely be up sometime this week. Thank you for all your support!

Tag list- Sorry if I’ve missed anyone, let me know and I’ll be sure to add you! Strikethrough means the blog couldn’t be tagged.

@chaosinacoffeecup @the-instrumental-mortal @satans-knitting-club @starkxpotts @bexboo616 @learisa @socialheartbreak @la-meneur-louve @burningbiatch

[starsofshadowanddust]

Bookish Tag Questions!

AW YEAH! BOOK STUFF!

Tagged by the astonishing @acfawkes!

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?

If it is a book I purposefully bought, then probably Sandry’s Story by Tamora Pierce but on shelves in general then probably Diana of the Crossroads.

2. What is your current read, your last read, and the book you’ll read next?

so i actually just finished a book titled Knit One Girl Two by Shira Glassman AND IT WAS AMAZING! The book before that was The Antagonists by Burgandi Rakoska which was also terrific! The next book on my list is The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge because I was flipping through my netflix and had a sudden realization that secret of moonacre was based on a book and i love my fantasy - cheesy and otherwise. 

3. What book does everyone like and you hated?

oh god there are actually a lot of these.... confession I have never made it through the Harry Potter series (yes, I know, I’m a terrible human BUT I GAVE IT AN HONEST TRY). I really hated slave, warrior, queen as I found that the lead was very strong willed and then ended up very passive and submissive at the end which was disappointing. I tried the winners curse series and didn’t really like it. imma leave it at that...

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?

ummmm on my digital shelf, there are a lot of books there that I probably won’t get to. On my actual shelf... I’ve actually read everything on there sooo... Im actually pretty spontaneous in my reading...

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement”?

shakespeare marathon and working my way up to Dragonbone Chair. I don’t know, I’ll probably end up writing my own stories in my head during retirement cause I won’t be able to use my hands or hear an audiobook! 

6. Last page: read it first or wait til the end?

Depends on the book, but in most cases I’ll wait till the end! The only times I will check the ending is if I am reading with someone else and am keeping an eye out for triggers.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside?

I actually love reading the acknowledgements and all the other weird little things before and after the book! Getting to know the author can change the way you see a book which I find fascinating! :)

8. Which book character would you switch places with?

Thianna Frostborn. Not only is she amazingly sarcastic and smart, she is half frost giant which would be SO MUCH FUN!!!! The adventures she ends up on are so much fun and only have minor physical damage!

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?

I actually have a lot of these! The first one that comes to mind is Arrows of the Queen by Mercedes Lackey which is one of the first fantasy books I read that are closer to the adult than young adult realm (see book three chapter 8) and this book was passed down to me from my mom who read it around the same age. It was one of the first books that I accidentally “missed” class in and its always been a comfort for me.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way.

 I got the book Wait Till Helen Comes from my elementary school librarian (who has unfortunately passed away and im still sad about that) who taught me how the right book can change your view on life and on reading. All of us library helpers got to choose a book and this was the first time someone gave me a book that wasn’t a family member. Only problem was that during the creepy ghost scene my black cat was in my very dark room and knocked over my stack of books the same time the ghost knocked over a stack of books in the book... needless to say, its not a book I read much now!

... also, I “borrowed” my dad’s copy of Death in Yellowstone when I was 7/8... I wasn’t supposed to read it but it remains one of my favorites.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special someone?

nope. I’m very possessive of my books. any books that have left my possession were either loaned, or I traded, or I got money for. I like books...

12. Which book has been with you to the most places?

Probably Death in Yellowstone as it came with us on our trip back home from yellowstone... besides that, I travel mostly with ebooks as you can store more in less space!

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?

I no longer have a grudge against The Odyssey which is probably because the second read through wasn’t forced into two weeks with really detailed quizzes that killed my grade. All other books that I hated, I still have. peace like a river can still go burn in a hole (I have a poem about this book if anyone wants) and stargirl was a very terrible book. I DETEST it.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book?

well I worked at the school library first period so I’ve seen quite a few things. There have been several bathroom passes, a couple photographs, a crap ton of phone numbers... There was a book about teen pregnancy found in the girls bathroom and that was pretty awkward. Strange, however, not really. 

15. Used or brand new?

both! If I really like a book, I will buy a new copy but for anything else I love used because it makes sitting in a corner like a creepy person less lonely because the previous reader probably did too!

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses?

While I haven’t personally read any King, I know for a fact that they aren’t checked out all that much at the high school level at a high school library. I would say that like any author, if the reader gets through it and enjoyed it - that author is a genius.

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book?

well the Harry Potter series but that is just because i could never make it through (which is really annoying but not annoying enough for me to force my way through the books) but besides that, not really

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?

well a lot of the YA popular series in my personal opinion. Twilight is definitely up there. There are probably a lot of terrible movies that I have watched jokingly that were originally books that I don’t know about. 

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question?

not really... I often forget to eat and forget that oh hey! my body is hungry and I should probably eat when I’m reading. 

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?

my old elementary librarian when he was still alive, and my mom. She is an english major/poetry minor so we don’t have a lot in common (Im going into geophysical engineering) but holy crap are her books good! and I get really excited about books and will read just about anything. I also have a problem where if I’ve started a series I really hate to not finish it so I’ve read an entire trilogy in two days because all books had to be back at the school library for summer.

Tagging: @bookishnessnessness @courtofglassandfire @beyondthestonewalls @stinti @intj-writer @swerpl @stinti @where-the-wild-dreams-grow @th3neighborhood-onparadiseway @goldkirk @observethewalrus and anyone else who wants to share their love of books!

[game-of-thrones-season]

Game of Thrones writer Bryan Cogman breaks down season 8, episode 2's big scenes

Bryan Cogman on the 'play-like' episode 'A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms': 'This is really a love letter to the characters'

By

James Hibberd

April 21, 2019 at 11:16 PM EDT

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HELEN SLOAN/HBO

Game of Thrones

TYPE

TV Show

GENRE

Drama,

Fantasy

NETWORK

HBO

Game of Thrones co-executive producer Bryan Cogman penned the second episode of the final season, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms,” which devoted an hour to quietly spending time with fan-favorite characters before their apocalyptic battle against the Army of the Dead. While fans expected the six-episode final season to be action-packed (and it will be), the producers also felt it was important to slow down and savor the show’s ensemble lineup of characters now that they’re together in one place and facing what is almost certainly their last night all together.

“This episode is really a love letter to the characters,” Cogman says. “With most of our battles you get about 15 minutes of calm-before-the-storm with the characters participating in that battle taking stock of where they are in their lives before the dam breaks. This is an entire episode of that so that episode 3 can hit the ground running.”

Below, Cogman (who previously wrote a terrific GoT re-watch viewing guide) gives some behind-the-scenes insight into some of the episode’s biggest moments…

— Jaime’s informal trial: “This was not unlike the trial episode I adapted with Tyrion in season 4. It was a chance to revisit Jaime’s arc and the different perspectives that they have about him. Brienne’s perspective mirrors the audience. One thing I have to remind myself is that not everyone on Game of Thrones is watching Game of Thrones. The characters only know what they know and they only know their own experiences, but the natural thing for you to want is to say, ‘they’re both good guys, just put aside your differences.’ What’s fun about Brienne’s testimony is she’s the only character who’s bore witness to the amazing changes Jaime’s gone through over the course of the season — apart from Tyrion who has his own reasons for loving his brother and knowing he’s different than how he’s perceived.”

— Jaime asking to serve under Brienne and Brienne being knighted. “Jaime does something here you would never expect the Jaime of season 2 to do. For Jaime, to humble himself to serve under anyone is a huge thing. He would never do that for anybody other than her. Jaime has been a knight of the Seven Kingdoms his whole life, but he’s finally becoming the knight he’s been chasing.” And later, Jaime knighting Brienne in the Great Hall: “We wanted to take the audience by surprise. It’s not a ceremonial scene on a cliff at sunset with billowing capes. It comes out of a throwaway moment that even some people in the room think is a joke and then they quickly realize it’s not. It’s a monumental thing. It’s a moment of grace and beauty in the middle of a nightmare and the main reason I wanted to write this episode. The episode’s title, ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms,’ refers to both Jaime and Brienne.” (By and by, EW asked Brienne actress Gwendoline Christie which scene she’s most proud of in the entire series and she said it was this one. “I think the knighting scene,” Christie replied. “I thought about it so much and what it means to me conceptually. It’s so emotional for the character to get something she wants and to be acknowledged.”)

— Arya and The Hound: “Arya asks, ‘When have you fought for anything or anyone other than yourself,’ and The Hound says, ‘I fought for you.’ There were glimmers of ‘goodness’ — for lack of a better term — in The Hound before he encountered Arya — certainly in his occasional protection of Sansa. But that scene in season 4 when he fights for Arya he was protecting her in his mind. He believed Brienne was there to do her harm. The tragedy of that scene was, again, if they had just seen each other’s subplots they would know to work together. Yeah, The Hound is always going to be a killer, he’s never going to embrace the life of peace that Brother Ray was preaching. But that time with Brother Ray fundamentally changed him and the seed of that was protecting Arya which grew into who he is now.”

— Arya and Gendry: “We asked ourselves what a lot of these characters would do on their final night. For Arya, there’s an attraction to Gendry and she’s like, ‘If I’m going to die, I might as well see what all the fuss is about.’ She executes that encounter and Gendry is more than happy to go along. We were very careful to make sure Maisie [Williams] was comfortable and everything was on her terms. One thing I wrote specifically when crafting that scene is ‘Gendry notes her scars.’ They’re from all of Arya’s encounters but most specifically when The Waif tried to kill her. There are so many things Gendry doesn’t understand about Arya. They’re having this nice flirtation and have this own shared history they draw upon but she’s very different from the Arya he used to know. There’s an attraction for him, but she’s also a bit scary too.”

— Davos and Gilly tending to refugees: “The short little scene with Davos and Gilly tending to refugees streaming into Winterfell. They encounter a girl with half her face scarred who bears a resemblance to [Stannis Baratheon’s sacrificed daughter] Shireen. The name ‘Shireen’ is not said in the scene. But Shireen taught both Davos and Gilly how to read. This is an example of how brilliant [showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss] are. I wrote a scene where Davos and Gilly get on the subject of knowing how to read and then get on the subject of Shireen and how she taught them both. It was the right inspiration but it felt contrived. [With the showrunners’ notes it] evolved into this where the scene is absolutely about Shireen, but neither of them are aware of the impact she had on the other. It was a beautiful way of acknowledging all of these threads between all of these characters that many of them are not aware of and never will be aware of — only we as the audience have the privilege of being aware of them.”

— Podrick’s song: “Songs have been important in the past on the show, but they’re more present in [George R.R. Martin’s] books. Pod once again surprises us when we find out he has a lovely singing voice. It was fun to find a reason to get ‘Jenny of Oldstones’ [a.k.a. ‘Jenny’s Song’] in there in a way that feels organic and appropriate. It’s not something we normally do, but I think it works. Dan wrote the [bulk of the] lyrics — about it being warm and having fellowship together and how they wish it could last longer, but it’s not going to.” The song is also covered by Florence + the Machine in the closing credits.

— Jon tells Dany about his parentage. “Jon is avoiding Dany the whole episode because this bombshell has been dropped on him and he can’t even process how to be in the same room with her. She senses a strange tension and can’t understand why. What really upsets Jon is that he’s a blood relative to the woman he’s in love with. In the crypt, Jon is taken aback when essentially the first thing she says is acknowledging that he has a claim to the Iron Throne. And Jon’s immediate concern is the fact that that’s her immediate concern. [Kit Harington and Emilia Clarke] play it beautifully. It’s a very difficult scene to pull off; so much has to go on behind the eyes. But then the horn blasts and the Army of the Dead are at the gates.”

“A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” is “almost like a play,” Cogman adds, an episode that he was eager to tackle yet proved to be a massive challenge. Cogman praised showrunners Benioff and Weiss for helping shape and edit the final script. “This was the most difficult script of the 11 I’ve written for Game of Thrones,” he says. “The big challenge was not writing a Wikipedia page. In fact, my first draft was a Wikipedia page. The way it works is the showrunners return a Final Draft document with notes written in red in the margins. They returned my first script with a sea of red.”

One suspects the episode will dramatically feel even stronger when watched in tandem with the next episode of season 8, which chronicles the Battle of Winterfell. “There was such a breakneck pace to season 7 that I was delighted when the [showrunners] proposed an episode of just spending time with characters in this space,” Cogman says. “I think it will make episode 3 — which is spectacular — all the richer. The moment that episode 3 starts we’re in full 100 percent battle mode.”

More Game of Thrones season 8, episode 2, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” coverage: — Maisie Williams discusses her surprise Gendry scene: ‘At first, I thought it was a prank…’ — Game of Thrones: Emilia Clarke defends Dany’s reaction to Jon’s parentage — Game of Thrones reveals big battle trailer for season 8, episode 3 — Game of Thrones releases ‘Jenny of Oldstones’ song performed by Florence + the Machine — Deep-dive recap for ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’

Game of Thrones

HBO’s epic fantasy drama based on George R.R. Martin’s novel series "A Song of Fire and Ice."TYPE

TV Show

SEASONS

7

EPISODES

67

GENRE

Drama,

Fantasy

RATING

TV-MA

RUN DATE

04/17/11

STATUS

On Hiatus

CREATOR

David Benioff,

D.B. Weiss

CAST

Kit Harington,

Emilia Clarke,

Peter Dinklage,

Lena Headey

NETWORK

HBO

AVAILABLE FOR STREAMING ON

COMPLETE COVERAGE

Game of Thrones

[writingguide003-blog]

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/44-writing-hacks-from-some-of-the-greatest-writers-who-ever-lived/

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

Writing looks fun, but doing it professionally is hard. Like really hard. Why on earth am I doing this?-hard.

Which is probably why so many people want to write, yet so few actually do. But there are ways to make it easier, as many writers can tell you. Tricks that have been discovered over the centuries to help with this difficult craft.

In another industry, these tricks would be considered trade secrets. But writers are generous and they love to share (often in books about writing). They explain their own strategies for how to deal with writers block to how to make sure your computer never eats your manuscript. They give away this hard-won knowledge so that other aspiring writers wont have to struggle in the same way. Over my career, Ive tried to collect these little bits of wisdom in my commonplace book (also a writers trick which I picked up from Montaigne) and am grateful for the guidance theyve provided.

Below, Ive shared a collection of writing hacks from some amazing writers like Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Stephen King, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, and Raymond Chandler. I hope its not too presumptuous but I snuck in a few of my own too (not that I think Im anywhere near as good as them).

Anyway, heres to making this tough job a tiny bit easier!

[*] When you have an idea for an article or a bookwrite it down. Dont let it float around in your head. Thats a recipe for losing it. As Beethoven is reported to have said, If I don’t write it down immediately I forget it right away. If I put it into a sketchbook I never forget it, and I never have to look it up again.

[*] The important thing is to start. At the end of John Fantes book Dreams from Bunker Hill, the character, a writer, reminds himself that if he can write one great line, he can write two and if he can write two he can write three, and if he can write three, he can write forever. He pauses. Even that seemed insurmountable. So he types out four lines from one of his favorite poems. What the hell, he says, a man has to start someplace.

[*] In fact, a lot of writers use that last technique. In Tobias Wolffs autobiographical novel Old School, the character types the passages from his favorite books just to know what it feels like to have those words flow through his fingertips. Hunter S. Thompson often did the same thing. This is another reason why technologies like ebooks and Evernote are inferior to physical interaction. Just highlighting something and saving it to a computer? Theres no tactile memory there.

[*] The greatest part of a writers time is spent in reading; a man will turn over half a library to make one book. Samuel Johnson

[*] Tim Ferriss has said that the goal for a productive writing life is two crappy pages a day. Just enough to make progress, not too ambitious to be intimidating.

[*] They say breakfast (protein) in the morning helps brain function. But in my experience, thats a trade-off with waking up and getting started right away. Apparently Kurt Vonnegut only ate after he worked for 2 hours. Maybe he felt like after that hed earned food.

[*] Michael Malice has advised dont edit while you write. I think this is good advice.

[*] In addition to making a distinction between editing and writing, Robert Greene advises to make an equally important distinction between research and writing. Trying to find where youre going while youre doing it is begging to get horribly lost. Writing is easier when the research is done and the framework has been laid out.

[*] Nassim Taleb wrote in Antifragile that every sentence in the book was a derivation, an application or an interpretation of the short maxim he opened with. THAT is why you want to get your thesis down and perfect. It makes the whole book/essay easier.

[*] Break big projects down into small, discrete chunks. As I am writing a book, I create a separate document for each chapter, as I am writing them. Its only later when I have gotten to the end that these chapters are combined into a single file. Why? The same reason it feels easier to swim seven sets of ten laps, than to swim a mile. Breaking it up into pieces makes it seem more achievable. The other benefit in writing? It creates a sense that each piece must stand on its own.

[*] Embrace what the strategist and theorist John Boyd called the draw-down period. Take a break right before you start. To think, to reflect, to doubt.

[*] On being a writer: All the days of his life he should be reading as faithfully as his partaking of food; reading, watching, listening. John Fante

[*] Dont get caught up with pesky details. When I am writing a draft, I try not to be concerned with exact dates, facts or figures. If I remember that a study conducted by INSERT UNIVERSITY found that XX% of businesses fail in the first FIVE/SIX? months, thats what I write (exactly like that). If I am writing that on June XX, 19XX Ronald Reagan gave his famous Tear Down This Wall speech in Berlin in front of XX,XXX people, thats how its going to look. Momentum is the most important thing in writing, so Ill fill the details in later. I just need to get the sentences down first. “Get through a draft as quickly as possible.” is how Joshua Wolf Shenk put it.

[*] Raymond Chandler had a trick of using small pieces of paper so he would never be afraid to start over. Also with only 12-15 lines per page, it forced economy of thought and actionwhich is why his stuff is so readable.

[*] In The Artists Way, Julia Cameron reminds us that our morning pages and our journaling dont count as writing. Just as walking doesnt count as exercise, this is just priming the pumpits a meditative experience. Make sure you treat it as such.

[*] Steven Pressfield said that he used to save each one of his manuscripts on a disk that hed keep in the glovebox of his car. Robert Greene told me he sometimes puts a copy of his manuscript in the trunk of his car just in case. I bought a fireproof gun safe and keep my stuff in therejust in case.

[*] My editor Niki Papadopoulos at Penguin: Its not what a book is. Its what a book does.

[*] While you are writing, read things totally unrelated to what youre writing. Youll be amazed at the totally unexpected connections youll make or strange things youll discover. As Shelby Foote put it in an interview with The Paris Review: I cant begin to tell you the things I discovered while I was looking for something else.

[*] Writing requires what Cal Newport calls deep workperiods of long, uninterrupted focus and creativity. If you dont give yourself enough of this time, your work suffers. He recommends recording your deep work time each dayso you actually know if youre budgeting properly.

[*] Software does not make you a better writer. Fuck Evernote. Fuck Scrivner. You dont need to get fancy. If classics were created with quill and ink, youll probably be fine with a Word Document. Or a blank piece of paper. Dont let technology distract you. As Joyce Carol Oates put it in an interview, Every writer has written by hand until relatively recent times. Writing is a consequence of thinking, planning, dreaming this is the process that results in writing, rather than the way in which the writing is recorded.

[*] Talk about the ideas in the work everywhere. Talk about the work itself nowhere. Dont be the person who tweets Im working on my novel. Be too busy writing for that. Helen Simpson has Faire et se taire from Flaubert on a Post-it near her desk, which she translates as Shut up and get on with it.

[*] Why cant you talk about the work? Its not because someone might steal it. Its because the validation you get on social media has a perverse effect. Youll less likely to put in the hard work to complete something that youve already been patted (or patted yourself) on the back for.

[*] When you find yourself stuck with writers block, pick up the phone and call someone smart and talk to them about whatever the specific area youre stuck with is. Not that youre stuck, but about the topic. By the time you put your phone down, youll have plenty to write. (As Seth Godin put it, nobody gets talkers block.)

[*] Keep a commonplace book with anecdotes, stories and quotes you can always usefrom inspiration to directly using in your writing. And these can be anything. H.L. Mencken for example, would methodically fill a notebook with incidents, recording scraps of dialogue and slang, columns from the New York Sun.

[*] As you write down quotes and observations in your commonplace book, make sure to do it by hand. As Raymond Chandler wrote, when you have to use your energy to put words down, you are more apt to make them count.

[*] Elizabeth Gilbert has a good trick for cutting: As you go along, Ask yourself if this sentence, paragraph, or chapter truly furthers the narrative. If not, chuck it. And as Stephen King famously put it, kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribblers heart, kill your darlings.

[*] Strenuous exercise everyday. For me, and for a lot of other writers, its running. Novelist Don DeLillo told The Paris Review how after writing for four hours, he goes running to shake off one world and enter another. Joyce Carol Oates, in her ode to running, said that the twin activities of running and writing keep the writer reasonably sane and with the hope, however illusory and temporary, of control.

[*] Ask yourself these four questions from George Orwell: What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect? Then finish with these final two questions: Could I put it more shortly? Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

[*] As a writer you need to make use of everything that happens around you and use it as material. Make use of Seinfelds question: Im never not working on material. Every second of my existence, I am thinking, Can I do something with that?

[*] Airplanes with no wifi are a great place to write and even better for editing. Because there is nowhere to go and nothing else to do.

[*] Print and put a couple of important quotes up on the wall to help guide you (either generally, or for a specific project). Heres a quote from a scholar describing why Ciceros speeches were so effective which I put on my wall while I was writing my first book. At his best [Cicero] offered a sustained interest, a constant variety, a consummate blend of humour and pathos, of narrative and argument, of description and declamation; while every part is subordinated to the purpose of the whole, and combines, despite its intricacy of detail, to form a dramatic and coherent unit. (emphasis mine)

[*] Focus on what youre saying, worry less about how. As William March wrote in The Bad Seed, A great novelist with something to say has no concern with style or oddity of presentation.

[*] A little trick I came up with. After every day of work, I save my manuscript as a new file (for example: EgoIsTheEnemy2-26.docx) which is saved on my computer and in Dropbox (before Dropbox, I just emailed it to myself). This way I keep a running record of the evolution of book. It comforts me that I can always go back if I mess something up or if I have to turn back around.

[*] Famous ad-man David Ogilvy put it bluntly: Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.

[*] Envision who you are writing this for. Like really picture them. Dont go off in a cave and do this solely for yourself. As Kurt Vonnegut put it in his interview with The Paris Review: …every successful creative person creates with an audience of one in mind. Thats the secret of artistic unity. Anybody can achieve it, if he or she will make something with only one person in mind.

[*] Do not chase exotic locations to do some writing. Budd Schulbergs novel The Disenchanted about his time with F. Scott Fitzgerald expresses the dangers well: It was a time everyone was pressing wonderful houses on us. I have a perfectly marvelous house for you to write in, theyd say. Of course no one needs marvelous houses to write in. I still knew that much. All you needed was one room. But somehow the next house always beckoned.”

[*] True enough, though John Fante said that when you get stuck writing, hit the road.

[*] Commitments (at the micro-level) are important too. An article a week? An article a month? A book a year? A script every six weeks? Pick something, but commit to itpublicly or contractually. Quantity produces quality, as Ray Bradbury put it.

[*] Dont ever write anything you dont like yourself and if you do like it, dont take anyones advice about changing it. They just dont know. Raymond Chandler

[*] Neil Strauss and Tucker Max gave me another helpful iteration of that idea (which I later learned is from Neil Gaiman): When someone tells you something is wrong with your writing, theyre usually right. When they tell you how to fix it, theyre almost always wrong.

[*] Ogilvy had another good rule: Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

[*] Print out the work and edit it by hand as often as possible. It gives you the readers point of view.

[*] Hemingway advised fellow writer Thomas Wolfe to break off work when you ‘are going good.’Then you can rest easily and on the next day easily resume. Brian Koppelman (Rounders, Billions) has referred to this as stopping on wet edge. It staves off the despair the next day.

[*] Keep the momentum: Never stop when you are stuck. You may not be able to solve the problem, but turn aside and write something else. Do not stop altogether. Jeanette Winterson

That taps me out for now. But every time I read I compile a few more notecards. Ill update you when Ive got another round to share.

In the meantime, stop reading stuff on the internet and get back to writing!

But if you have a second…share your own tips below.

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