The sand(s) of time
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1938 Bamfylde, Devon
“‘How fast the sand of time doth flow’” Howarth's voice was an uneasy whisper in the room, weaker than he felt it should have been, of the common sense of the illness ignored.
Who's is that, Howarth?
“No-one's in particular PJ the frail once solid form said. “Clough might be just as apposite foe the present moment. He coughed a little to clear his throat, “Say not the struggle naught availeth, the Labour and wounds in vain.”
“Another war.”
Howarth grunted, dropped into silence
His sickness rose again at the thought. As if we hadn't turned France and Belgium red with blood, us and the Germans both. And all the boys, bright and curious and keen, sharp with loyalty and fervor which he remembered of those last bright days in the Valleys - before a promised University became khaki and trenches and shells. Now somehow, it seems to be coming round again, what we were determined to stop.
Christopherson, already gone, ghost unmarked. And there would be more to come, because Bamfylde and England had bred them like that, even he had in a way, building in them a strength of conviction and a challenge to the status quo.
“Not your fault PJ, not your fault.” Howarth said softly, “A good mind and an honest heart, you've given them that… from then a man must do as his conscience demands."
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I have read many books in my life. And some I read and loved as a young man have sadly lost their appeal as I've aged...sometimes my interests changed, other times I came to new understandings in life that left me feeling a bit cold towards them. (Looking at you, Tom Clancy).
But other books grow with you, and hit different as I come to new stages of my life. And my very favorite book is one such. It speaks to me in new and different ways as I grow, and my life changes. And so, today, as I've been returning to Bamfylde in North Devon, I am struck again how much I love this book. It just has so much to say to me.
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Not Your Classics Challenge
day 17: War and Peace
A book about existing in war time and peace time, in a very specific time and place. (Also chosen because, although the book itself isn't too long, it covers more years than the books I usually choose: it was a present from my mom.)
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Frank Middlemass as Algy Herries and John Duttine as David Powlett-Jones in "To Serve Them All My Days"
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Tom's line about Shiv being selfish and "find[ing] it very hard to think about me" is actually so telling because while it's absolutely true that she rarely takes his position into consideration, Tom never once thinks about what he can do to help Shiv unless it also benefits him.
Every single time he makes a move or sacrifice that might help her, it's always something that he thinks will give him a leg up. He volunteers to take the fall for cruises, not for Shiv, who is in no way implicated, or even for Waystar, but because he thinks it'll ingratiate him to Logan, and the second it seems like he might have to actually follow through on that, he immediately tries to get out of it and even throws Shiv under the bus. Meanwhile, for all that Shiv disregards his interests, there are a number of things she does that only help him, and she's the one who actually sacrifices something and undermines her position with Logan to beg him not to let Tom go to jail.
It just makes it so clear that no matter how much he might love her (and I think he does, in his own compromised way), for him their relationship was always built on the underlying assumption that it's her job to prop him up, but it's not his job to help her.
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It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.
The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.
The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.
The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.
The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?
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To Serve Them All My Days - BBC One - October 17, 1980 - Januiary 16, 1981
Drama (13 Episodes)
Running Time: 60 minutes
Stars:
John Duttine as David Powlett-Jones
Frank Middlemass as Algy Herries
Alan MacNaughtan as Howarth
Patricia Lawrence as Ellie Herries
Neil Stacy as Carter
Susan Jameson as Christine Forster
Charles Kay as Alcock
Kim Braden as Julia
John Welsh as Cordwainer
Cyril Luckham as Sir Rufus Creighton
Simon Gipps-Kent as Chad Boyer
Belinda Lang as Beth
Nicholas Lyndhurst as Dobson
David King as Barnaby
Phillip Joseph as Emrys Powlett-Jones
Michael Turner as Brigadier Cooper
Norman Bird as Alderman Blunt
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