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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 4 years

Note

My dearest bouncey! I have a prompt for you if you like: Witchers as a 90s/2000s boyband 😂🤷‍♀️💖💖💖

Ellie, darling, this started as 500 words and turned into like 3.2k words and also a piece of art so... thank you so much. also shout out to my amazing art pal @mawbwehownets for the little comic!!

this contains lots of 90′s/early 2000′s nostalgia so there is also that

tw: hornyish, smooching, perilous music video situations (corny)

---

“Do I have to?” Geralt groans, letting his forehead thud down against the linoleum surface of their tour bus’s shitty dining table.

“Yes,” Vesemir says. His tone leaves no room for argument or whining. “But what if I let you pick the winner personally?”

“There have to be like fifteen thousand letters to go through! How will I manage that in less than two days?”

“There were a few more than fifteen thousand applications, Geralt. There were probably closer to five hundred thousand.”

Lambert wolf whistles and Aiden claps.

Geralt grimaces and keeps his face hidden against the table, releasing a slightly muffled: “Fuck.”

“Language,” Vesemir frowns. He tugs gently at Geralt’s loose ponytail and the singer lifts his head up from the table again, looking at his manager with beseeching eyes. “Anyway, we’ve narrowed it down to about fifty. You can go through those and choose whichever person you’d like to play your love interest. But you have to give me an answer by Friday. The shoot is in three weeks and whoever wins this stupid competition will need time to make arrangements.”

“I thought we were footing the bill for their food and their hotel room,” Geralt raised an eyebrow. “What would they need to arrange?”

“Not everyone can board their pets at the flick of a wrist, dude,” Lambert scoffs from his seat on the couch. Aiden lies draped across his lap, as usual, and the two of them are halfheartedly watching The Lion King. They can only watch movies when the bus is stationary, otherwise the VHS player might move too much while running and damage the film inside the cassette. Even taking advantage of such a rare opportunity, Lambert and Aiden still seem more interested in each other than Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s voice acting.

“Lambert has a point,” Vesemir sighs. He scrubs his hand over his lightly whiskered face like a tired grandparent and sighs again, more heavily. “It’ll be good for you boys to have a normal person around for a few days. Maybe they’ll be able to put some things into perspective.”

Geralt can only roll his eyes a little bit and thank his manager regardless of his own feelings; he and the rest of TW5 owe the seasoned musical expert their entire careers. Without Vesemir’s help and mentorship they would never have made it past their first disastrous record deal. They certainly wouldn’t have reached the heights they’re at now, enjoying international fame and recognition.

The begrudging frontman accepts a heavy plastic bin of file folders from Vesemir and sets them down next to his bunk. “Are these organized in any particular way?”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

Geralt digs his hand into the pile and pulls out a piece of pale-pink stationary, eager to get started and, by extension, get finished. He can already tell that it’s going to be a long couple of days.

---

“I want this one, please, Ves.”

“Huh?” Vesemir looks up from his palm-pilot. Geralt is standing in front of him and trying to hand him something.

“I want this guy to be in the music video with me.” Geralt holds out the letter again, fingers trapping the accompanying polaroid headshot with great care. A pair of bright blue eyes stares up from the photo, highlighting the subject’s bright smile and unruly mop of messy brown hair. Vesemir tries to hide his amusement; totally Geralt’s type, if the big oaf could admit to having one.

“Alright. I’ll get everything in order. We start shooting in two and a half weeks so get your asses to the gym, please.”

“Yes, Ves,” all five young men chorus.

“Tomorrow,” Coen mutters a moment later than everyone else, not glancing up from his composition notebook. Vesemir nods in understanding. Coen is the best lyricist of the lot and it’s easier to let him work when inspiration strikes than beg him to focus when he can’t get a solitary idea to stick.

“So why’d you pick that one, Ger-bear?” Lambert drawls. Aiden nods and leans against Lambert’s side. Geralt can’t help the mild jealousy that overtakes him every time he sees his bandmates touch each other with such casual affection. He wants that intimacy, that softness behind the veneer of famous indifference. He wants someone to hold.

“Yeah. What drew your attention to that poor unfortunate soul. Was it the floppy hair, the big blue eyes, or the dopey grin?” Aiden smirks.

“Hmm.”

“Fuck you,” Eskel sighs, looking between the two troublemakers with the tired gaze of an eldest sibling, “Fuck you for even asking in the first place and expecting a straight answer.”

“Straight is the furthest thing from his answer,” Lambert chuckles. He is promptly smacked in the head with one of the couch’s hideous throw pillows. The youngest member of the band rubs the side of his face and chuckles, “Alright, I deserved that one.”

---

“Holy shit!” Jaskier practically screams. “Holy motherfucking shit!”

“What!?” Yennefer comes flying around the corner. “What’s wrong!?”

“Nothing is wrong, Yenna! Everything is awesome! Everything absolutely fucking rocks!”

“Did you get hit on the head by a falling branch between here and the mailbox or what? You were whining about your finals work not five min-”

“Look at this!” Jaskier shoves an open envelope into her hands and cuts her off. Yennefer reads the watermarked documents once. Twice. Her eyes almost pop out of her head when the words and their meanings finally sink in.

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, I am absolutely not!” her giddy roommate cheers, bouncing up and down in place. “I did it! I won!”

“Holy shit.”

“I know! I get to kiss Geralt deRiv!” he practically cackles. Then freezes. “Holy fuck I get to kiss Geralt deRiv.”

“You said that already,” Yen teases. She shoves the paperwork back into his hands and grabs a takeout menu from the junk drawer near her hip. “Since you won the makeout lottery, you get to buy lunch. Lucky bastard.”

---

“So this will be your dressing room,” someone’s underpaid PA says, ushering Jaskier into a small, bright room. “Priscilla will be here shortly to get you into hair and makeup.”

“Oh, uh- thanks!”

“Yup.”

And with that, the young man disappears back down the hallway toward the sound stage. Jaskier jogs his leg anxiously as he waits for Priscilla to arrive, nervous and otherwise totally alone in the huge grey building. As the minutes tick by and his heart rate rises, Jaskier’s intrusive thoughts make an unwanted appearance: What if they forget about me being here? What if there’s been a mistake and they accidentally hired two love interests and I just sit in here for hours all alone while-

“Hi!” a bright, peppy blonde woman flies through the door and startles him back to reality. “Nice to meet you, I’m Priscilla! You can call me Priss; I’ll be doing your hair and makeup for the video this week!”

“Oh… hi. I’m Julian, but I prefer Jaskier.”

“Lovely! Well, Jaskier, is your hair naturally this color?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Perfect! I don’t want to mess with such a lovely shade of natural brown, but do you mind if I give it a bit of a trim? I have a few ideas for styles right here in my book- How do you feel about some feathering back here? I think-” she fluffs a few of the hairs around the nape of Jaskier’s neck “-I could really bring out the curls if I adjusted the length a bit and used some product.”

“Just, uhm, go for it, then! Feel free to make me as pretty as possible!” Jaskier declares. He’s committing to this experience wholeheartedly, determined to allow himself every opportunity for positive change. He wants to really let himself enjoy it, and he needs a haircut anyway. Priscilla spends an hour washing, cutting, drying, and styling his hair into a lovely fringed sweep across his forehead. It ends just above his brows, giving his face a slightly softer shape than usual. He grins over his shoulder, “I love it! I’m going to miss you when I’m back at Oxenfurt. Good stylists are so hard to find.”

Priss blushes and nudges against his shoulder, “Oh, you little charmer.”

“I mean it,” he says, examining himself in the mirror. “I look like I could really be worthy of a heroic rescue! This is going to be such a fantastic memory, and I appreciate it. Thank you so much.”

Priss bites back a genuine tear and smiles, “Now that your natural prettiness has been mildly enhanced, let’s get you over to wardrobe, shall we?”

“Wardrobe? Do I have, like, a costume? What’s the music video even about?”

“They didn’t tell you any of this when you got here?”

“Not… not really.”

“Well, my darling, I think you’re really going to like it; they’ve got you in Versace for the first scene.”

“Versace!?”

Then Jaskier is being ushered into a bright, colorful room full to bursting with grim-faced, middle-aged women and he loses track of his only braincell for the rest of the morning.

---

“You must be Julian!” Lambert declares, bounding up to him and grinning. It’s a feral, animalistic grin and Jaskier resists the sudden urge to take a step back.

“I prefer Jaskier, if you don’t mind too much,” Jaskier corrects him quietly. Lambert rolls his eyes in a long-suffering kind of way and throws a meaty arm around the shorter man’s shoulders, completely ignoring the wardrobe technician’s wincing as he wrinkles the expensive silk jacket.

“No need to be quiet and polite around here, my dude. We’re just a bunch of rowdy idiots, aren’t we, guys?”

“Hell yeah!” Aiden calls back. Eskel sighs like the put-upon nanny in a Victorian Redanian comedy.

“Speak for yourself,” Coen barely lifts his frosted tips up from his book long enough to speak. Geralt is-

Holy motherfucking Britney Spears on toast.

Geralt is the hottest thing Jaskier has ever seen in his short, unfulfilled-until-right-now life. Forget Ralph Macchio. Forget Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet and Winona Ryder. This man is… Geralt deRiv is… he’s the picture of perfection. And he’s right there, standing in front of an elaborate party set with his thick, beautiful arms crossed over his chest and his eyes trained on the floor, as if willing it to swallow him whole. Jaskier realizes that he probably didn’t have any choice in the matter; maybe this was just as awkward and uncomfortable for Geralt as it was for Jaskier.

“Ger-bear!” Lambert whoops, yanking Jaskier closer to the brooding frontman. If only he were brave enough to struggle for escape; alas. “This is your boy-toy for the week. Goes by Jaskier, apparently.”

“Nice to meet you,” Geralt manages to grunt. “How did you like the script?”

“I haven’t uh- I haven’t actually seen it?”

“Shit. Fuck. One second,” Geralt huffs, disappearing into the crowd of technicians and machinery operators and PAs. Jaskier loves him already, for real. Sure, he was pretty in the music videos and promo material, but the way he said fuck like it was the noblest word he could think of… Geralt interrupts his train of thought by coming back with a sheaf of papers clutched in his hand. He shuffle-shoves them into Jaskier’s arms immediately. “There you go.”

“Thank you!” Jaskier smiles. It’s genuine and shy, more tenuous than his usual goofy grin. He flips through the pages, glancing between the script to his expensive suit, “So I’m guessing we’re at a party for this scene? Or something?”

“This is… where we meet. This is where… you and I uh…”

Jaskier’s eyes scan the page as Geralt’s ability to speak slowly leaves him.

Lover ENTERS LEFT, dressed to the nines. Lover adjusts their tie/boa and takes a look around the room. S/He looks sad and a little hopeful. PULL BACK to Geralt, who approaches slowly. Their eyes meet. HOLD SHOT. PULL BACK as they move towards each other. Geralt pulls Lover into his arms and they begin to dance.

“Oh, wow.”

“I hope it’s okay! If you’re not comfortable with that kind of thing we can-”

“I’ll be alright, thank you. I came here to put my acting chops to the test. Well, that and meet my favorite band, of course. Thank you again, by the way. It’s been wonderful so far and I really appreciate you allowing me to be here.”

“Allowing? Psh. Geralt ha-” Lambert is cut off by Aiden, who elbows him sharply in the side. “Ow! What the fuck, babe?”

“I knew it!” Jaskier crows, distracted. “I knew you two were an item!”

“They’re not exactly subtle.”

“They never confirm anything either,” Jaskier retorts. Geralt shrugs his acknowledgement and moves back towards the set. Jaskier follows after the taller man like a lost puppy, eyes flicking from one thing to the next, hungry for detail even in his anxiety ridden state. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and he doesn’t want to waste a solitary second of it. “This is incredible, really just...wow. You guys do this all the time? You get to make tiny little movies for already great songs that you get to perform for millions of adoring fans? And you get paid!?”

Geralt hadn’t ever really thought about it like that. He’d been raised in the industry. He’d signed to Kaer Morhen Records as an early teen because his mother was a member of the Board of Directors and he’d been making music ever since; an outsider’s perspective to things was… new. A little strange. “Yeah, I guess that is pretty much what we do.”

“Wow.”

“It’s not that exciting, I promise.”

“Have you ever written a fifteen page paper about the history of lute-string design and manufacturing?”

“No.”

“Then kindly shut the fuck up about what I should consider exciting,” Jaskier grins. Geralt is immediately and irrevocably smitten. Fuck. It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes! “So, which door am I entering from?”

“Left,” Geralt points. Jaskier skips over and begins to introduce himself to the sound and lights crew. His smile seems to be as infectious as his cheer and soon the entire set crew is smiling at one another. There’s been a literal shift in the atmosphere; if he didn’t know any better, the TW5 frontman thinks Jaskier might be some kind of magical creature, because he can’t just be human. Geralt is well and truly fucked, and everyone in the band already knows.

---

“What do you think?” Jaskier asks, slipping anxiously from behind the changing screen. The Versace is gone and in its place are a pair of tight, high-waisted blue pleather pants and a billowing white shirt, which has been strategically ripped in several places to reveal slivers of the lightly tanned skin that lies beneath. He looks like he’s in desperate need of rescuing. He looks like every fantasy Geralt has ever had about the perfect guy. He looks like a fucking dream.

“Nice,” he says.

Lambert and Aiden wolf-whistle and cheer as they approach. Aiden claps twice, loudly, and shoots Jaskier a set of finger guns, “Hot damn, baby. You single? You lookin’ to mingle? Because I am bi and spoon like a Pringle.”

“First of all, babe, I love you but that was the most horrific combination of words yet known to man. Second of all, yeah, I’d dump Aiden for you for sure,” Lambert adds. Jaskier is at a total loss for words. His mouth hangs open and his breath comes in uneven little gasps for a moment.

“Uh… I- Thank you?”

“Oh god, Eskel! Eskel, he’s short circuiting, do something.”

“You absolute-” Eskel groans and makes his way over to the gathered group. He tugs Jaskier away and over to the other end of the set, where a comically huge rocket/bomb (Jaskier can’t tell) is standing at the center of a vaguely science-themed room. A laboratory, maybe? Or like, a really weird spacecraft? A hospital run by rocket scientists? It doesn’t matter, it’s the Evil Lair of the Villain and that’s where Jaskier is being held captive. “Here, Cameron and Elise will help you get set up for the next scene. I’m sorry about the boys they’re... gay?”

“I understand,” Jaskier nods sagely and Eskel relaxes. Then for comedy’s sake he adds an equally dramatic, “I too am... gay.”

The set dresser, an electrician, and a few specialists (likely a rope rigger among them) come over and tie Jaskier to the bomb/rocket/villainous mechanism, ending his conversation with Eskel, who is now in a much better mood than he was before.

Jaskier is told to make sure his hands are crossed behind the small of his back and the director instructs him to wiggle back and forth “as convincingly as possible without actually getting loose or moving the ropes too much”. Which is manageable, he supposes.

“Then, when the chorus comes up, we’ll get a few shots of the boys dancing in front of you,” the director continues to explain. That’s… kind weird, but okay. I’ve seen weirder. “Then we’ll do the action shots, with Geralt rescuing you. Are you okay to do the kiss, or would you rather not? We have dynamic shots with or without, so it’s totally up to you.”

“I’m fine with that,” Jaskier smiles shyly. “I consent to be smooched.”

“Adorable,” Lambert calls. Jaskier blushes and the director shoots Lambert a glare.

“He’s already pink enough, don’t make me change my gels you little shithead!”

“Sorry, Pierre!”

“Fucking sorry my ass,” Pierre grumbles beneath his breath. Then he smiles at Jaskier. “Do something nasty to him for me, will you? Not too nasty but… just a little?”

“I’ve got your back,” Jaskier winks.

“No plotting! Not fair!” Aiden whines.

“You have a team,” Pierre retorts. “Now I have a team.”

“Rules are rules,” Eskel sighs. “Now can we please shoot this damn video?”

“Right,” Pierre claps, getting everyone’s attention. “Places!”

---

Geralt races up the stairs, trying to keep the long sleeves of his black mesh shirt from catching on any of the set pieces. The solid black t-shirt he’s wearing underneath makes his arms and back look bulkier than normal; it’s a visual technique to make him look larger than Jaskier, whose billowing white shirt will hide how wide his shoulders actually are. Fuck, those are some nice shoulders. And the smattering of dark chest hair that peeks from the front of the college student’s shirt? Geralt wants to bury his face in it.

Okay, focus.

He reaches the top of the set and rushes towards Jaskier, ripping the ropes from around his torso and pulling him close. He cups the back of Jaskier’s head with his upstage hand, framing the slightly smaller man for the camera and making him seem even shorter, another trick of angles and body posturing. Geralt plays Jaskier like an instrument, bending him back by placing his downstage arm around Jaskier’s waist, pressing their mouths together and holding them still for as long as it takes the director to yell, “Cut!” with a satisfied tone of voice.

Geralt’s suspicions are confirmed when Pierre laughs and claps some more and cries, “Print it, lads! That was a one-take wonder!”

He tries to ignore the way Jaskier’s shoulders slump as if disappointed. “Good job,” he manages to say.

“You, too.” Geralt wishes he could keep a picture of Jaskier smiling in his back pocket forever. No other sight could light up the world so effortlessly. “Thanks for being gentle.”

“I’m trying to sweep you off your feet,” the singer shrugs. Jaskier wiggles his eyebrows and follows Geralt down the narrow set stairs.

“Are you, really?”

“Is it working?” Geralt asks, turning to look up at Jaskier. The student pauses to look at him and his foot catches on an uneven board. He topples forward with a short cry of surprise and seems surprised when Geralt reaches out to catch him. “Jaskier!”

“Oh my god!” Lambert races over, Aiden hot on his heels. “Are you okay, dude?”

“I’m fine,” Jaskier laughs, a little breathless. “Just a little shocked.”

“You should take him to get a snack or something,” Eskel says, nudging his shoulder against Geralt’s. “He’s been busy all day and hasn’t even been to craft services.”

“You haven’t eaten?” Geralt asks, honestly baffled. Jaskier shakes his head, face heating once again. He wishes he could stop blushing, but Geralt’s presence seems to make it impossible. He wraps one arm around the younger man’s temptingly slender waist and leads him towards the food carts. He shoves a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of punch into Jaskier’s hands, not giving him a chance to argue. “Here, I’ll have something, too.”

“Thanks,” Jaskier smiles, understanding that he is, in turn, being understood. They sit comfortable folding chairs off to the side, food spread across their laps. Jaskier laughs and chats around his mouthfuls, pulling things from Geralt like his favorite color and his least favorite nicknames. Songs he liked and dances he disliked.

“You made it fun again, today,” the singer smiles. “Thank you for that. I wish you could be here for every video shoot.”

“Looking for another member of the band?” Jaskier jokes, doing some half-hearted jazz hands. Geralt shakes his head and laughs.

“I wish we were,” he sighs. “But I guess five is the magic number.”

“Makes the dances look cooler,” Jaskier nods. “I agree with whoever made that decision. I wouldn’t dare ruin the aesthetic.”

Geralt laughs again and Vesemir turns to look, honestly shocked at the volume of the sound.

“Plus, you can’t be the frontman if there’s no front.”

“Shut up,” Geralt chuckles, still grinning broadly.

Vesemir makes a phone call.

---

2 Weeks Later, Backstage in Kaedwen

---

“He’s been sulking like this ever since Jaskier went back to Oxenfurt,” Lambert whines. “C’mon Vesemir, do something.”

“What do you want me to do, make Geralt’s boyfriend appear out of thin air?”

“Not my boyfriend,” Geralt growls, stomping past his bandmates and manager. He can’t help but feel grumpy. Jaskier had been like the sun, bringing light and wonder to everything he touched, and without that joy around it doesn’t seem worth the extra effort to smile. So he’s been moping.

“Fucking hell,” Vesemir sighs. “Thank goodness I thought ahead.”

“What do you mean?” Eskel asks, joining the little group in the hallway outside the dressing room. “What did you think of?”

“Three,” Vesemir smiles, glancing at his watch. “Two… One…”

“Boooooys,” echoes a high tenor. “Where’s my welcome wagon, Vesemir?”

“Jaskier!” Aiden practically screams, leaping out of the dressing room and flying down the hall. Lambert follows at a sprint and Vesemir hears the resounding oof oh fuck of both giddy musicians hitting their mark.

Geralt comes back down the hall at a jog, eyes searching frantically. “I thought I heard-”

“Geralt!”

Vesemir’s heart clenches in his chest at the way Geralt’s face lights up. At the end of the hallway, surrounded by spilled luggage and apologetic boyband members, is Jaskier. Geralt floats to him, it seems, like he’s dreaming the whole thing. Jaskier takes his hands and then releases them and wraps his arms low around Geralt’s hips instead.

“I missed you the most,” he whispers, just for Geralt to hear. “Couldn’t sleep without listening to your CD. I know it’s silly but I really like you.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt whispers reverently into his shaggy brown hair. “What are you doing here?”

“I was going to do my thesis on pop culture’s relation to music history,” he says. “And then the manager of TW5 called Oxenfurt and offered me the opportunity to do some… first hand research while I worked on finishing the paper.”

“R-Really? You’re going to be here… every day?”

“Do you… do you not want me he-”

Geralt kisses him before he can even finish the question. It’s a stupid question anyway, of course Geralt wants him here. Wants him right here, kissing him silly. The singer presses his lips desperately, crushingly against Jaskier’s; he never wants to part from this man again. He never wants to be without that glorious laughter and contagious liveliness. Who knew that life could be so full of delight and happiness if he only let it?

He kisses Jaskier for all he’s worth and more, pouring his heart and soul into it. When they pull apart, both gasping for air, Geralt asks, “Stay with me, Jaskier? You don’t have to do anything I just-”

“I’d love to be the big spoon,” Jaskier winks, whispering again. “Thank you, Geralt, for the rescue.”

#geraskier #bouncey's buddies #prompt fill #geraskier fic #geraskier ficlet #geraskier fluff #getting together #boyband au #geraskier boyband au #the witcher five and their hit song 'please lambert stop farting on the bus'#ellie has the braincell #thirsty jaskier #thirsty geralt #soft geralt #protective geralt #clumsy jaskier #soft boys content #bouncey's endless au collection #bouncey's endless getting together fics

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #323

“dehumanized upon a shell / we came to bleed it dry / obsessed with divine wealth / divide and multiply”

Have you ever drawn on someone’s face while they were sleeping? No. Would you scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? No thanks. What is your favorite slow song? There are so many, but one of the slowest and most beloved of mine is "Obstacles" by Syd Matters. It gives me goosebumps without fail. It's one song I know I want at my hypothetical wedding. If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? I mean, yeah. I'd want to know their intentions. If your best friend died, would you be able to speak at their funeral? It'd be extremely difficult, but if I had any say in it, I absolutely would. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times it causes too much pain, depending on the pictures, of course. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? Definitely not. My life is painfully uneventful. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? I don't know. Do you have a house phone? No. Which fast food place do you eat at the most? McDonald's. Have you ever met someone on the Internet in real life? Yep. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Do you like being in pictures? No. Do you travel a lot? Essentially never, even though I'd love to. Do you play any sports? No. Do you like pickles? Yesssss. How many times have you been kicked out of a store? Never. Is there things you’ve told someone that you’ve NEVER told anyone else? Probably. When was the last time you had alcohol? My birthday dinner last month. Are you one to often make typos? No, except when I'm texting. I have autocorrect on for a reason. On a hot day, would you rather prefer ice cream or a popsicle? Ice cream. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, but I just didn't want to drink anymore at one point. I'm far from a lightweight, apparently. Have you played cards recently? No. Is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist? Mother Mother immediately comes to mind, but not the main singer; he's great. The woman who occasionally joins in is fucking horrendous. Like, it hurts my ears. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't and never have really headbanged, surprisingly. It's a sure-fire way to make me dizzy. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I hope not... Sometimes I feel like it's time with photography, but I just. Can't. Have you ever captured a moth? I've raised a caterpillar into one before, then of course let it go. Is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway? Otep, noteably. When was the last time you wore earrings? It's been a long time. How many pairs of heels do you own? I don't think I have any. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? Uhhhh it's been at the very least a month, but I know more. Would you consider yourself to be physically strong? Absolutely not, especially my legs. I struggle to fucking walk because they're so weak. Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes, actually. I helped Jason paint his shelf black. Do you have a really fat cat? No, we never have. We've always been good about keeping our pets at a healthy weight. Do your initials spell a word? No. When was the last time you went to a playground? A year or so ago when I was taking pictures of someone's son, as well as just general family photos. That same family just had another baby the other day. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No. Do you have a favorite curse word in a different language? No. Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multipication times tables? Lol not most of them, no... It's been way too long. Do you have a favorite font on the computer? Of the basic ones, probably Garamond. Are you good at creating logos? *shrugs* I've only ever really made my photography watermarks, and I only JUST made one I like pretty well. How about catch phrases? I don't make those. Have you ever been severely burned? Not severely, no. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I've actually had numerous dreams where I was pregnant, but I don't THINK I've had one where the baby was born yet. Do you or anyone you know have a rabbit? No. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? Hm, nothing too weird, I think. Last song you got stuck in your head? "ALTÆR" by 3TEETH. Last song you listened to? ^ Favorite movie quote? I don't know. Maybe Rafiki's quote about the past hurting, but you should take that opportunity to learn. Favorite lyric? That is impossible. There are so, so very many that just like slather me in goosebumps. What magazine are you an avid reader to? None. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I have. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Man, take me the hell back to my WiiFit days. I was pretty damn fit. The last time I did it, it was seriously alarming how much I struggled doing things that were once pretty effortless. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? "Very" seems a bit too much, but Mom definitely kept it in order. How many watches do you own? None. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes. Emergencies happen. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes; my mom has a cousin who's gay. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? Not recently, no. If so, what was the reason? ^ What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? Oh, y'know, dropping out of college three fucking times. Once I pay my own bills and I truly understand finances, that's going to fucking wreck me. Do you like metal music? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yeah. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Heavy and symphonic. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom for bringing home lunch recently. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Maybe like a month when I was technically homeless? How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? It was preeeetty rough. Do you like strawberry shortcake? No. What’s the last you got out of the freezer? A microwavable breakfast bowl. Do you go on the computer or watch TV more? Guess. Explain why you are single: Because I'm a very, very underdeveloped "adult" that has very little clue what she's doing. At my age, I and any potential partner should want someone with direction. What feature do you usually get most complimented on? My hair. Has anyone ever accused you of being gay? Well, I'm bi. I had this weird therapist once in middle school though who asked if I was a lesbian... Idk why she did? What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? I'm in an advanced ball python husbandry group, and while a lot of people there are utter, degrading elitists, they do have valuable information. Did you name all of your stuffed animals and dolls? I sure did as a kid. What would you have your bridesmaids wear? Probably black dresses, and I think it'd be really cool if I were to marry a woman, the bridesmaids wear checkered Converses colored into a rainbow pattern, or something like that. Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? I think Alaska, if it was a good time to see the Northern Lights. Are you sick right now? No, thankfully. Do you feel loved? Yes. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? God no. I have such a flat ass. Are you ashamed of your faith? I'm assuming by this you mean religion, in which case, I don't have one and am not ashamed of that. Has anyone ever tried to force their beliefs on you? Yes. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? Again, I'm bisexual. I have never had a personal act of homophobia inflicted upon me, though. Have you ever been accused of being homophobic? Yes, because I was for most of my life. Fucking repulsive to remember. "Repulsive" is much too gentle a word, but yeah. It is so, so embarrassing to recall myself ever believing it was wrong because my then-religion said no-no. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two pets. I would be so, so lonely without any. :/ I've had pets my entire life. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. How long has it been since that last time you went on a date? Like two or so years. Do you think babies are cute? They can be, but I usually don't find them all that cute, honestly. Especially newborns/very young infants. They're usually hideous. My youngest niece is actually the only newborn that I remember seeing that I thought was absolultely precious. What is your favorite style of pants? Ripped skinny jeans. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. Who was the last person who broke your heart? Jason. ^Do you still miss this person? I'm sure I always will to some degree. Do you have someone to talk to and share your secrets with? Sara more than anyone, but Mom, too. Is there someone you feel extra shy around? Just men in general. Have you been hurt more by friend break-ups or romantic break-ups? Romantic. Closest living thing to you? My snake's terrarium is against the opposite wall. She's in her hide. Would you rather drown or burn alive? Drown. You go unconscious first, so. And I'd assume it to be faster than burning alive. Also me no like hot. :'''( Who is the last person you got really pissed off with? My stepmother posted some ignorant bullshit on Facebook about how people blow out of proportion our "supposed" environmental crisis. I nearly deleted her right then and there. I take that shit seriously. Most of her beliefs drive me insane, honestly, but she's a wonderful person at heart, so I just bit my tongue. Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? Girt. What type of sushi do you like to eat? Never tried it, don't want to. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Yes. Do you have any flowers in your room? No. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Yes. Well, I took pictures for her family, anyway. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? Jesus, yes. My little sister. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither are "big" health freaks, especially not Dad when you consider he smokes and knows it'll be what kills him. My mom is diabetic though, so she's reasonably careful. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We don't have any. Ma tries to keep snacks out of the house for both hers and my sake. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH BOY idk. I'd probably spend days planning the "perfect" thing. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I do. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Yep, my band teacher. He was incredibly loved by literally everyone. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? Neither's. They both have brown eyes. What’s the best date movie? We gonna have a problem if you don't watch The Notebook w/ me if I have it on lmao. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? Many years now. (: Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but I don't yell. Would you rather name your daughter Andrea or Eva? Andrea. If you were adopted, would you want to know? Yes. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't care less about someone's eyebrows. Do your pets chase after bugs? Oh yes, Roman certainly does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Hmmm... this actually happened recently, but I don't remember why... What is your mom’s favorite movie? I don't know, actually. I think it's some romance one. What TV family reminds you of your own family? None, really. Do you know anyone who always looks perfect? Who? One of my best high school friends Alon was like... just always pristinely beautiful, it seemed like. I haven't seen many pictures of her lately, but I'm sure that hasn't changed. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? I think so once, yes. Who was the main character in the last book you read? A dragon named Sunny. Who are the last people you saw kiss? On the lips, I'm sure it woulda been my sister and her husband. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Clouds, I think. Well, it would depend on their design, I guess, and time of day. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? Probably my mom. Does your best friend get along with their parents? She has a wonderful relationship with them. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? I was the fat, hideous, crying bridesmaid. ;x; Are you purposely hiding something from someone? No. What’s the most intimate thing you’ve discussed with a stranger? My suicide attempt with doctors. What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? I always get fries. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? No. Are you in an argument with anyone right now? No. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Yes. Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? My grandmother. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve meet online? Sara. Have you friended your parents on FB? Mom, yes. Dad doesn't have one. What’s the last tourist area you visited? Chicago. Mice or roaches? Mice are precious, meanwhile I hate roaches. Did you give or get any Valentines this year? No. Well, Mom bought me and my sisters each a delicious candy apple, if that counts? What’s your homepage? Google. Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

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jlf23tumble · 4 years

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Top 10 Niche Interests

Fixations? Obsessions? This is incredibly hard because I have wayyyy too many niche interests, so instead of stressing about it, I tried to channel the 10 things that immediately speak to me and maybe aren't so obvious from what I post here, like how much I'm obsessed with wigs, doll furniture, incredibly specific blogs, all forms of clothing with pockets, swimming pools, whimsical bus stops, over-the-top bathrooms, etc. etc Instead, I opted for some specifics that feel a little more evergreen and long tailed, like, so LIFE-long tailed that it's tough to nail down when or how they became part of the national psyche. I thank @alienfuckeronmain for the initial tag, and I'm tagging her AGAIN for round two because I know she has a billion additional niche things, and she'll post them, and I'll scream because it'll trigger five other things I neglected to post here, and I'll probably post my own round two, arggggh, insert aggressive sighing. Anyway, I tag ANYONE who wants to do it, just tag me so I can see!

1. Indoor Trees

I have no idea why this concept PULLS so hard because houseplants are kind of meh to me, but you want to plant an entire-ass TREE indoors, in the place where you live? Me, too, and I'd add a conversation pit plus a combo gold/red bathroom, among other things, and, bam, we're in my imaginary dream home, which I have literally, constantly ALWAYS mentally constructed from the time I was about six or so. (If you're curious, it has multiple themed rooms, and the closest I've seen to it recently is the outstanding Dita von Teese AD feature, but Amy Sedaris’s apartment comes close, too). There are two (2) 1960s houses in Long Beach with magnificent indoor trees, but I can't find them online, so have this modern interpretation and cry with me about how I can't visit the multi-story fake tree inside Clifton's Cafeteria for a good long while:

2. Conventions of Fans of Any Kind

One thing that I don't think I'll ever lose is how much I *love* people who are fans of SOMETHING, people who have a passion and create something about it or cosplay it or simply gather to celebrate it and connect to other people through it. The Internet provides in all kinds of ways, but I'm talking specifically about IRL conventions and the way my heart pitter pats when I first walk in those doors, SWOON! And it doesn’t matter how big the convention is or how random, I've been to smaller events like CatCon and the My Little Pony convention all the way up to biggies like WonderCon and Comic Con, and I have yet to be disappointed. I might know jack shit about what I'm walking into, but I want to see the merch, hear about the panels, and check out the people who are fucking PUMPED to be there. Sadly, I think it's gonna be a lonnnnng time until these come back, but I can live vicariously through my old photos, sigh:

3. Dutch Wax Fabrics and African Fashion

I'm not the snazziest of dressers, but textiles, colors, and patterns have been an obsession that has soothed my visual soul for as long as I can literally remember. Wax fabric marries all three of those touchpoints, plus throws in a healthy dose of style, and I count myself lucky to have seen two big exhibits on the subject (this was one of them), oh, how I wish there were more! For sure, there's a fucked up underlying colonial/imperialist history here, but there's also humor and color and vibrancy, a reclamation of sorts, and multiple levels of fashion that take my breath away. I cannot do the different patterns justice at all, but the fan motif is one of my faves:

4. Hearst Castle vs. Madonna inn

These two fall into my #home tag because they're where I'm from, and they speak to me as equally sublime and ridiculous, camp and kitsch writ large and small, different (yet similar!) versions of Xanadu that two rich white men built as shrines to their own personal "taste." And the irony is that a lot of people shit on Alex Madonna for being tacky (the Madonna Inn is...uh, something else), yet praise WR Hearst for all the high-class art and architecture, most of which is fully lifted from desperate churches between and after world and yet they're both more or less the same concept (lodging for weary travelers, self-aggrandizement, questionable taste-mixing). Hearst Castle edges out slightly for me because it's bigger and has spectacular scenery and history, plus it gives me doses of LA noir thanks to the way Hearst killed a guy in a jealous Charlie Chaplin-related rage and Hedda Hopper covered it up, all kinds of old Hollywood shenanigans happened up there, etc. But I'm low-key an expert on both houses of the holy, I'm OBSESSED with both, and we can leave it at that. I mean, come on:

5. Snow Globes

I had to cull my personal collection slightly just to fit it all on the dedicated shelf in my bathroom, and I seriously need to refill all the water lines, but nothing beats a snow globe in terms of memorable souvenir, especially when you put it in a bathroom. The majesty!!! The jewel of my collection is the one from Sherwood Forest because WHY NOT celebrate a historic place and moment in the basic way?? He robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and the gift shop about 100 feet from the tree he hid in does the same! The circle of life! The irony of all the watermarks on this blessed image...protect:

6. Highly Specific Museums

Look, we can all agree that the more venerated museums in the world are a form of garbage in terms of what they represent, what they've done, and who runs them, but I'm here for the museums that collect and celebrate things that tend to get overlooked. There are too many to list that I love that are still thriving, so I'm going to say goodbye to four recently departed faves. RIP to the Pez museum, I'm so glad I saw you and purchased your stale candy souvenirs. RIP to the museum of terrible food, you were a pop up when Phoenix and I saw you, and I will forever think about the worker describing people literally vomiting during their visits. RIP to the currywurst museum in Berlin, I've had currywurst exactly once and it was not for me, but I respect the Journey you took me on, including obscure east German TV shows that helped make you so popular (??). Finally, RIP to the velvet painting museum, there's no way to mince words, the person who owned you was crazy AS FUCK and had zero clue how to run a business, but I'm so glad I saw you multiple times and purchased my own velvet treasure (not this exact one, but remarkably similar):

7. Liminal Spaces: Grocery Store Edition

Confession time for those who don't know me all that well, I'm a big time voyeur, and nothing fills my heart with joy like a walk at 7 or 8 pm, the witching hour when people haven't pulled the curtains, and I can scope out their decorations/furnishings without it being "weird." Another confession is how much I unabashedly adore grocery stores in other countries and will spend at least an hour wandering aisle by aisle, falling in love with how much everything is different yet completely the same:

8. Agatha Christie Novels:

As a child, I was a fairly compliant reader--I had to read something for school? Okay! For my mom? Sounds good! But the books that sparked the initial fire for me to read something purely for myself were second-hand (probably fourth- or fifth-hand, judging by cover art) Agatha Christie short story anthologies, which were the gateway drug to full Agatha Christie novels, then other mystery novels, and so on. But getting back to Agatha, I obviously loved all the stories, but every decade spawned incredibly good cover art (like, exceptionally good), and this particular artist's are right up near the top for me (I go back and forth on a lot of the '50s and '60s ones):

9. Scopitones

I link my obsession with scopitones both to my love of music videos in general and a shop in Austin, TX, that sold DVD compilations of them in particular, but either way, they're underappreciated and kitschy all in one! Francoise Hardy and the rest of the ye-ye's are my forever girls for this medium, but seemingly every country cranked them out, both actual set videos and "live" performances? If you don't know what they are, scopitones were machines that played music videos in French cafes in the '60s (??), so it was sort of your proto-MTV way to see your faves sing and dance. Oh, Francoise...so moderne!!

10. Cover Songs

I have so much patience and love for cover songs of any stripe, the more genre-bending and/or surprising, the better! My only minor beef is the trend in slooooooooowing down songs to make a point, but even those ones have a special place in my heart if they're effective. Live Lounge feeds my hunger the best, but my meta fave for representing this concept is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, which was already lyrically INSPIRED, a song about bad cover versions in terms of relationships, but then they did a video that was a visual "bad" cover version, with actors lip synching over an audio "bad" cover version, and all of it just worked? The cover for the single is someone in the band as a boy, making his own bad cover version of a Bowie album cover, it's meta meta meta, and I love love love, here's the video, if you're curious. In the more sublime cover category, I'm absolutely addicted to all of Orville Peck's covers, I truly hope he officially releases them sometime soon, but I wholeheartedly support any artist who does it:

#tag games #niche interests #god i have a few

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deviantartdramanow · 5 years

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Yet another two fetish captions thief https://www.deviantart.com/rocomotives Here is one of the many stolen pieces Stolen https://www.deviantart.com/rocomotives/art/A-Guest-810008545 http://archive.is/M0x49 Original https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/75977292 There is much more in his gallery And another one https://www.deviantart.com/tg-cradle Stolen https://www.deviantart.com/tg-cradle/art/TG-Caption-Keepin-It-In-Your-Head-Or-on-It-475670278 Original is part of this drawing collection https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/40270112 There are countless thieves in this caption/fetish community and pretty much all the same. No credit, no permission. Nothing at all. Please fetish and caption community stop. Just stop using peoples art. Stop being disrespectful Especially DO NOT PUT YOUR WATERMARK ON OTHERS ART This is disgusting behavior Yeah you wrote the caption but that doesn't give you the right to slap your name on the image. It's wrong. Your community hates being called thieves yet you commit copyright infringement. Stealing other peoples art work. You think getting called a bunch of rude and disrespectful thieves is harsh? It's not. It's the truth. No artist who draws like people taking their hardwork and defacing it. You wonder why you get so much hate? No it's not because your fetish but BECAUSE YOU STEAL. You lot need to understand you guys are in the wrong. Just because you don't earn a cent doesn't make a difference. It's still breaking copyright laws. This law applies throughout the internet not only dA. So even if you take elsewhere say like pixiv, people will still get on you about it. (Honestly you'll be banned in a flash if you tried that. Since you lot seem to love targeting poor Asian based artists) Do the right thing and stop this Learn that you can't use images you find online for what ever you please. Just stop At least the fetish dollmaker community is more reasonable. If you want to use an image. Look at free to use stock or pay to use stock. Use a dollmaker. DO NOT USE GOOGLE. Google is a search engine. It doesn't own the image. Hell even google tell you the images maybe copyrighted and that you may get into trouble and that you need permission. ALSO credit doesn't mean anything. People have been sued for using photos and art without permission and thinking crediting is enough. There is a hefty fine as well. Also saying it's not your art means nothing as well. You still using it without permission Another thing. "But everyone does it" is not an excuse. It never is and never will be. If everyone was jumping off a 20 meter cliff onto spike does that mean you should do it? If everyone was shoplifting does that make it correct? No it doesn't. Oh btw here is a lil fact. Did you know what ever you post on dA is automatically copyrighted under your name? So even if you say it's not your that lil copyright symbol says otherwise. DA isn't like photobucket or those image sharing sites where you can upload others hard work.

#drama #deviantart #anon post #rocomotives #submission

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jungkookienoona · 7 years

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The Meme and His Tutor

Part 13: The Time There Was A Meme War

Recommended Song: I Luv It by PSY

|All Chapters|

Summary:

Jungkook started something he could not finish and you begin to question yourself.

Genre: Fluff, comedy

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 3745

Length: 13/?

Since your first lesson back after returning from Korea, you had taken Jungkook's advice to study harder. For the past few weeks your lessons focused on correcting the errors brought to light on your trip, and you were slowly gaining a better understanding of how to speak less formally.

When Jungkook rang you it just so happened that you were busy studying, a highlighter between your teeth as you answered the Skype call.

"Annyeonghaseyo Kookie." A small smile gracing your lips as you gave a wave.

A mischievous grin appeared on his lips, "Hello Noona."

There was a look in his eye that had you feeling suspicious.

"I don't like that look." You said, closing your textbook. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing."

"Do you really expect me to believe you?"

He ran a hand through his hair and you felt your heart stutter a little at how attractive he looked while doing so. No, stop. It wasn't the time for that.

"I'm not doing anything Noona."

"Okay... so what have you done?"

He bit his bottom lip in a failed attempt to stifle an amused chuckle. Why did he have to look so good? You shook your head. That look plus his amusement meant only on possible thing. You quickly opened your browser and typed in the address to his blog. There it was. The first thing to greet you on his site, a meme of you.

"Jeon Jungkook."

"Ye?"

"Prepare to die."

Jungkook started laughing, leaning back in his seat with an arm thrown across his face as you open up that one folder on your desktop. You were prepared for this day. Since spotting his folder full of memes on your first day in Korea, you had been plotting your revenge. And when you arrived safely at home you put your plan into action, screenshotting Skype and downloading pictures sent over KaKao. And with each new image, you created a new meme for your arsenal. It was time to release your creations onto the world.

Having recovered from his little laughing fit, Jungkook was watching you intently from the other side of the screen.

"Noona..."

"Yes, Kookie?" You said, creating a new Tumblr post and selecting your meme. It was a tough choice.

"What are you doing?"

You recycled his earlier words. "Nothing." You added a few hashtags and pressed post with a smile.

You heard Jungkook's phone vibrate. He picked it up and quickly checked it with a shocked gasp.

"Noona! That's so mean! I look ugly in that."

"I looked ugly in your one!... Also, do you get notifications every time I post? How long have you been doing that?"

"Since I followed you." You were going to ask why when you noticed a new notification had appeared. Clicking on it, you were not surprised to see Chubs’ ship blog reblogging the posts. You had an audience already.

"Noonaa~" Jungkook called and you refreshed the page.

Sitting at the top of your dash was your face, eyes wide and mouth open as if prepared to sneeze. Beneath it was the caption: 'when Jungkook Skypes you'. He'd even watermarked it.

"You little shit!"

You went into your folder again as he cackled in the background. It didn't take long to find one you wanted to use. It was the screenshot you had taken from when he was shirtless (the one that was still your desktop background) but with "Yokhareulharyeoko fuck boi cheoreom (Tries to act like a fuck boi)" at the top and "Hajiman geu-i museowo yeosang aidol. (But is afraid of female idols.)"

Jungkook was wiping tears out of his eyes when his phone went off. He paused and narrowed his eyes at you.

"Yah! What's a fuck...boi?" He glanced back at his phone, "And I'm not afraid of female idols!"

You lost it, covering your face with your hands as Jungkook mulled in his own confusion.

Between laughs, you managed to explain that a fuck boi was similar to being an international playboy, but meant acting even more like a dickhead.

"I'm not a fuck boi." He pouted.

"I don't know, going on Skype shirtless seems pretty fuck boi type behaviour to me." You grinned evilly.

"I put on a robe for you!" He said then winced at the sound of his voice. "I have to be quiet. Hoseok went to bed early."

"And how can you say you're not scared of female idols? You move away from them and hide behind the members."

"I'm being polite and respectful."

"There are compilation videos of you avoiding them. You backed away from a few with a terrified expression."

"... I was scared of accidentally starting career damaging rumours."

"Yeah right."

"If I was scared of women I wouldn't be friends with you." He gestured across the screen to you.

"I'm not an idol. It's different."

You got another notification about Chubs' ship blog reblogging from you but this time with a caption. 'HOLY SHIT! HE LET HER SEE HIM SHIRTLESS! AND SHE HAS BLESSED US BY SHARING IT WITH US!'

"What is it?" He asked.

"Check the ship blog." While he was doing that you scrolled through your folder, deciding what to post next.

"I don't see what the big deal is about me not wearing a top."

You sighed and minimised the folder to look at him. "Why do you have to wear swim shirts when you do things involving swimming on camera?"

"Because we don't want ARMY dying at the sight of our abs?"

"Exactly- wait, no!"

"Yep."

"It's because BigHit makes more money by teasing us with little glimpses of skin."

"And because in Korea we have to swim clothed."

There was another notification waiting for you on your Tumblr.

"Are you not going to look, Noona?" He was sitting smugly and you wished you were there in Korea to push him off his chair. "It's a good one. One of my best!”

It was you in your panda onesie, face bright red. 'Says she isn't adorable but is adorable af.'

"Next time I'm in Korea you're going to die."

You decided your next attack would include more than one meme. You found the ones you were looking for and started uploading them. Meanwhile, Jungkook was staring intently at his screen. A pair of circle glasses had found their way onto the bridge of his nose and you had to tear your eyes away from the Skype window. They were your weakness.

You heard his phone go off and sat back while he took a moment to look at them.

"Yah! Noona! Why so many?!"

"Don't call me cute!"

"...At least you Korean is improving."

You smirked and remembered the ones you had selected, one of him being shook, another of him spinning in his chair out of boredom and a selca of him with a bad hair day.

"I've been practising."

"Good." It was his turn to smirk when you saw he had uploaded half a dozen pictures of you including ones he'd taken on your trip to Korea.

"Is...Is that me sleeping?" You enlarged one particular photo you'd never seen before. It looked like it was taken using the front-facing camera and you could just make out the leather of Jungkook's jacket as you leant against his shoulder.

"It was after you landed. Remember?"

"Oh yeah... You took a picture of me sleeping?"

You swore you saw a hint of pink get added to his cheeks as he scratched the back of his neck with a sheepish smile.

"I couldn't help myself. Noona looked so peaceful and childlike."

"I'm just glad it's dark. You can't see a lot of my face."

"I didn't want to use flash and wake you."

"How considerate," you grumbled, going back to looking at the other images. "I need to stop wearing my panda onesie. All the worst pictures are of me in it."

"Noooo~ Noona should wear it more. Noona looks best in her onesie. See."

Your Skype chat was then filled with screenshots of you in the onesie as well as some pictures that were sneakily taken on the movie night.

"How did you take those without me noticing?" You said, eyeing one particular picture. It looked like a failed attempt at taking a photo of you from the side as all he managed to capture was your linked hands in his lap.

He tapped the side of his head with a smirk, "That's a secret."

"Aish. You're an impossible child."

He frowned, "I am not a child!"

"You act like one. I have proof."

You uploaded a dozen more screenshots to Tumblr all with various pieces of text of the images. There was a candid one of him you snuck at the restaurant after going to the market. He was cradling his phone in his hands, eyes bright as he stared down at his new phone case it in adoration. A screenshot of him pressing a kiss to Honey's head was followed by one of him with a blanket draped over his head.

"See, a child."

His frown deepened.

"Does Noona only see me as a child even after all my goodnight selcas?"

By some miracle, you didn't blush as he reminded you of the selcas he sent you when he was preparing for bed every night.

"T-t-that has nothing to do with your child like behaviour."

"But I have muscle." Jungkook pushed up his shirt sleeve to give you a better view of his flexed bicep. "Does this look like a child to you?"

"Stop!"

"Or this?" You noticed his hand grip the hem of his t-shirt and in a burst of panic, you slammed the laptop shut.

You got a message over Kakao.

'Or this'

It was followed by the image that you wanted to avoid. His shirt was pulled up revealing his abs and he had the cockiest smirk you had ever seen.

'By the way, you were very rude just now. You're going to pay for that.'

Your eyes went wide as you opened up Tumblr on your phone to see even more memes. This was meant to be your revenge. Why the hell were you taking turns?

Jungkook was waiting for you on Skype, his shirt back in place. You coughed to get his attention.

"Has Noona recovered?" He teased.

You scowled at him, "You're the biggest little shit. I'm supposed to be getting back at you and it turns into a competition."

"Which I won."

"You think you won?"

"I always win."

"Prepare to lose then."

There was a video file from back near the beginning of Jungkook's lessons when his English was still broken and he frequently switched between the two languages. You had recorded it to see if you could find a way to improve your teaching strategy. With a merciless grin, you uploaded a small segment of it to Tumblr.

He tripped over his words and stuttered often. It was adorable and was sure to make him angry. It always embarrassed him when you reminded him of how he started off. And sure enough, not a minute later, Jungkook had his head buried in his hands.

"Noona~ delete it!"

"Not until you admit I won and upload a post saying you concede."

You were lying. He looked thoughtful for a moment then nodded.

"Fine Noona. You win."

And then he was clicking and typing away. You waited patiently for the post to appear on your dash. When it did you were a little confused. It was a video with Honey as the thumbnail and the caption: 'Noona wins (this was filmed before I changed her name)'

You pressed play and was met by the familiar intro to Cypher Part 4. Jungkook was nowhere to be seen as the camera pointed at the wall of his bedroom you had grown accustomed to seeing.

All of a sudden, Jungkook's head popped up over the edge of the desk in a pair of oversized sunglasses. He mouthed the words 'ireum, ireum!' And then ducked back down only for Honey to pop up in a matching pair of glasses in time to 'Sorry bae.'

The video continued like that until the end of Namjoon's verse where the video also ended. You were bent over, clutching your stomach in a fit of laughter, temporarily forgetting that you were still in a Skype call with Jungkook.

"Oh god. Why is he like this?" You said when you finally regained composure, wiping a tear from your eye.

"It's a talent of mine." He said, surprising you enough to yelp. "Did you like it?"

You pressed a hand to your chest, willing your heart to stop hammering. "You're the biggest meme possibly on earth."

He gave you a smile and then he was clicking and typing again. It didn't take long for a new post to appear. Another video. It was a video of him singing along to Very Very Very by IOI but when it got to a certain point he would chug a little Thomas the Tank engine along. It was captioned: 'I'll be a meme more because I like Noona's laugh.'

A giggle slipped out while you watched him push along the little train. Where he got it from you didn't know but it didn't matter.

"That was adorable, Kookie!"

He ducked his head but you could see he was smiling proudly for making you laugh.

"Losing was worth it."

You decided to check on the ship blog to see how Chubs was handling the memeage. Apparently, not very well. She had moved on to flat out saying she was dying. Jungkook noticed you had gone quiet and asked you what you were doing.

"Are you plotting something? Because I have no other videos to post."

"I'm checking in on Chubs. She's said she's dead five times now."

"Ask her whose memes killed her!"

"Jungkook!"

"Judging by the tags on each meme post she reblogged, it was both of us... tell her not to die. I need someone to document our history."

This time your cheeks did heat up.

"I'll get right on that."

You heard a door open and Jin came into view, peering over Jungkook's shoulder.

"Igeos-eun jeolm-eun sarang-i doen geos? Naneun neohui dul-ege silmanghaessda. (Is this a young love thing? I'm disappointed in the both of you.)"

There was that word again. Why did it keep popping up so much recently? And why is it always Jungkook? You noticed Jungkook glance at you before apologising and giving his attention to Jin.

"Do you need something?"

"Oneul sueob-e chekeu-inhaneun geosman-eulo, Kookie. (Just checking in on today's lesson, Kookie.)" Jin caught your attention with a wave. "Igeos-eun yeong-eo sueobcheoreom boiji anh-eoyo, Y/N. (This doesn't look like an English lesson Y/N.)"

You sent your message to Chubs and gave Jin a sheepish smile. "Urin swigoiss-eo? (We're taking a break?)"

"... Seoloui mim-eul mandeuneunga? (By… making memes of each other?)"

"Geuneun geugeos-eul sijaghaessda. Naneun modu sueob-eul gajil junbigadoeeo iss-eossjiman, geuneun yaggan-ui ttong-idoegiro gyeolsimhaessda! (He started it. I was all prepared to have a lesson but then he decided to be a little shit!)"

"Noona!"

"If I'm going down I'm taking you with me!"

Jin braced himself on the back of Jungkook's chair as he broke into laughter.

Jungkook pouted, "But I didn't do anything!"

"You know what you did!" You nodded in Jin's direction, hoping that despite being on Skype Jungkook caught on to not wanting to say anything in front of Jin.

"Neo dul-eun neomu isanghae. (You two are so strange.)"

Chubs finally responded to your message about not dying.

'How can I not die when you two act like you were made for each other.'

'Don't say stuff like that. I'm just Y/N-chingu.'

'Yeah right. You two are totally not just friends. I see the way you look at each other.' Was her immediate response.

You let out a huff and typed out a reply. 'Even if I did feel something more for him (which I don't!) he doesn't like me like that. Nothing is ever going to happen.'

'Keep lying to yourself.'

"Noona~ don't get distracted. You're meant to be spending time with me!" Jungkook whined, drawing your attention back to him. You noticed Jin rolling his eyes.

You got another message from Chubs, 'You seriously need to sit down and have a think about how you actually feel about him. It's not good to be in denial for so long.'

"Noona~!"

"Sorry Kookie, Chubs was over reacting to our little meme war."

"Chubs-i nuguya? (Who's Chubs?)" Jin asked at the same time Jungkook wondered what she was saying.

"Geunyeoneun nae chingu ya. (She's my friend.)" You told Jin before looking at Jungkook, "Nothing important."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"I told you it's nothing."

"Noona~"

Jin smacked his shoulder, "Neoneun Y/N-i anj-aseo agicheoreom uneun geos-eul deudgo sip-eo handago saeng-gaghanayo? (Do you think Y/N wants to sit and listen to you whine like a baby?)"

"Geunyeoneun geugeos-eul saranghanda. (She loves it.)" He said with a smug smile.

For some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to argue with him about it. Jin chuckled to himself and ruffled Jungkook's hair, "Jeulgeoun aireul gaj-ja! Neomu heungbunhaji mala. Geuneunleohji anh-eumyeon oneul bam jamdeulji anh-eul geos-ida. (Have fun kids! Don't get too excited. Otherwise he won't sleep tonight.)"

"Hyung!"

You waved goodbye to Jin and watched Jungkook shake his messy hair back into place. You couldn't help what you said next.

"Messy hair suits you."

He paused at that looking slightly shocked.

"R-r-really?"

"Ye."

His hands immediately shot up into his hair, messing it up again.

"Like this Noona?"

You pursed your lips in thought, "Separate your fringe... Ye, like that."

He grabbed his phone and took a picture. Your phone buzzed. He sent the selca to you over Kakao.

Your heart skipped a beat. What on earth was wrong with you? This was only Jungkook. Jungkook, your tutor and tutee. Jungkook, the Golden Maknae of BTS. Jungkook who saw you as Y/N-chingu and nothing more.

You cleared your throat, "It really suits you Kookie."

"Taehyung tells me he likes my hair different but if Noona likes it messy, I like it messy too." He smiled and the sight of his dimple made your tummy do a little flip.

"You can't like something just because I do. What do you prefer?"

"Messy."

"Honestly?" You asked, ignoring the flashing light on your phone alerting you of Tumblr notifications.

"Honest. I don't like the product they put in it. It feels icky."

"Icky? You're such a child." You laughed.

"Yah! What do I have to do to make you see me as a man?!" There was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Why does it matter?"

He hesitated for a moment, "I don't want Noona to treat me like a child. To see me as a child. I'm an adult."

You started to giggle which only riled him up further. "I am the strongest member and only an inch shorter than Namjoon-hyung!"

"That doesn't necessarily make you a man. You still act like a child." You were dragging it out, seeing how far you could push him. And watching him grow hot and bothered was an extra.

"Was I not a man to you when you visited? I drove you around Seoul and bought you things. I treated Noona like a princess!"

"Yeah... you did. So it seems you can only act like an adult when I'm there in person."

Your phone screen lit up with yet another Tumblr notification. You decided to check it.

"Next time you visit I'll show you how much of a man I can be. I'll treat Noona like a queen."

The next time you visited...You had yet to tell Jungkook that even after picking up a few more hours at work it didn't look like you were going to be able to afford to visit after exam season like you had discussed. He'd only insist on paying if you told him and you couldn't have that. Not again.

"Yeah. Next time."

"You're going to love it, I have so much planned!"

You felt your heart sink with guilt. Maybe you could get a second job... you scrolled through the notes you had received on the mobile app. The responses were overwhelming. Jungkook's video had already hit a thousand notes in just under an hour. The ship blog was thriving with activity; a new post appearing every time you refreshed. You were suddenly aware of all the attention on the two of you.

"Noona?" You heard Jungkook call but you were busy reading one of Chubs's responses to a very annoyed anon yelling at her to 'spill the details on the couple'. "Noona!"

"Yes, Kookie?"

"When are your exams over?"

You bit your lip thinking about it.

"My last one is in three weeks time."

"Okay, I'll-"

Before he could finish what he was saying Jin came back into the room.

"Neuj-eoss eo. Neoneun jaleo gaya hae. (It's late. You should go to bed.)"

"Hyung~"

You giggled as he pouted and crossed his arms.

"Neoneun naeil malhal su iss-eoyo. Jam jal sigan-iya. (You can talk tomorrow. Time to sleep.)"

Jungkook nodded, "Okay, I'll say goodnight."

You said goodnight to Jin who left the two of you alone.

"Go to sleep, Kookie."

"I'm not tired."

"It doesn't matter. If you stay up you will be tomorrow."

"Fine... Goodnight Noona... I really had fun today. Your laugh is beautiful."

A warmth burned your cheeks, "Your hair makes you look handsome."

"Don't you mean more handsome?" He teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Go to bed!"

"Goodnight Noona! Sweet dreams, think of me."

"It's still the afternoon here. Sweet dreams Kookie."

He smiled, then an idea seemed to have popped into his head as the smile gained a hint of mischief. You wondered what on earth it could be until your thoughts were interrupted by him imitating Jin's signature flying kiss. You sat there, a little stunned not knowing what to do.

Jungkook was quick to tell you, "You're meant to catch it!"

"Oh, uh, try it again."

He blew you another and you reached out to grasp the kiss then clutched your hands to your chest as if holding something precious.

He grinned. "Have a good day and think of me tonight."

"Goodnight BunBun."

He grinned and gave a little wave then hung up.

What the heck just happened?

A/N: Co-written with @tragicshadows . So Y/N is finally beginning to question herself thanks to Chubs and the constant appearance of the L-word. And Kookie seems to be trying his best to make Y/N see him as a man, I wonder why that is? As always we would love to hear from you guys so feel free to message either one of us.

This work of fiction is copyright © JungkookieNoona and protected under UK and international law. All rights reserved. Any unauthorised broadcasting, copying or reposting will constitute an infringement of copyright.

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