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#Try to run in every other direction
dent-de-leon · 4 months
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Do not think I'll get over the fact that Molly encourages the idea that he's always had a string of lovers, lets people believe he goes off with someone new or visits brothels every night, and the whole thing is just...just because he doesn't want anyone to find out he's got this bleeding heart.
That his "choir practice" is him risking his life to save some strangers he's never met. That he's this compassionate, fiercely loyal protector who believes, "The truth is...How do I put this...the world is harsh and cruel, and I don't seem to be able to just walk on by."
That he has this reputation for being a shameless flirt with countless partners, and just...as far as we know, he only ever had one relationship. And after she died, he carried her cards and wore her coat every day, kept her close to his heart and never said a word about it. Not until he admits to Yasha that he's lonely, that he wishes he still had someone. The way Molly is grieving and mourning a partner just like Yasha, and no one ever knew.
The way Lucien couldn't believe that Jester found him "dreamy," the way people only ever saw him as a demon and monster for so long. Waking up as Kingsley and still looking for the love he lost. Still falling for Caleb. Tealeaf keeping so much close to the chest, afraid to let himself be too vulnerable. Only ever trusting his heart with a few. Wanting so badly to be good, to be loved, to be whole. Worshipping the goddess of love herself. Writing down, "Love. It binds us. It frees us. What more needs be said?"
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devilsskettle · 2 months
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i've watched a lot of good films lately in an attempt to catch up with a bunch of movies that have come out recently, but talk to me was the best movie i've seen in a LONG time
#i put off watching it for so long because i was sure it was overrated + i'm generally not a fan of possession movies#(because so many of them try to be the exorcist and they will never be the exorcist. you know how it is)#but holy shit. genuinely a brilliant movie in every aspect of filmmaking + completely aligned with my personal taste#+ exactly what i look for thematically in possession and/or ghost movies#+ the absolute perfect balance between psychological and gory#and like i said SUCH a good cold opening#tbh i think it's a useful trick to know how to get your audience to buy into a supernatural premise from the very first scene#i think that takes some VERY effective + skillful writing and directing#and as someone who again typically does NOT like possession movies i usually end the movie NEVER buying into the story#not because i'm a 'skeptic' or whatever just because the writing doesn't do the work#but SCENE ONE of this movie i was so in it#anyway. movee of all time to me#also from the trailers etc i had thought that that fluffy yellow sweatshirt mia wears at the beginning of the movie was a bathrobe lmao#my first impression of what this movie was gonna be like was NOT correct#anyway 'recently' means in the past 2 years i guess?#actually maybe this post was a lie because i LOVED nope which was also just an absolute cinematic masterpiece#anytime i watch a jordan peele movie it's just like. this man is so far beyond any other filmmaker out there right now#it's almost unfair to watch lol like an olympic gold medalist running laps around a middle school track team#anyway ummm. yeah talk to me was good though
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thedreadvampy · 7 months
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Yes people are fucking dying and no I don't ever feel like. Great about people being killed in missile strikes.
But I also don't feel great about decades of civilians, including over 2,100 children in the last 20 years, being killed both by missile strikes and by being shot or beaten to death in the street.
250 people were killed in the Hamas rocket attacks on Saturday, which is around the same as the number of Palestinian people the Israeli security forces had murdered this year before Saturday, and significantly less than they've killed since Saturday.
look the people are not the state and despite Israel being an apartheid colony, being an Israeli citizen doesn't necessarily imply 100% agreement. It's been 70 years and 3 generations since Israel was established as a state and the majority of Israeli civilians now didn't choose to come, they're living in the country they were born (although the same is not so much true for people living in Gaza who have recently occupied the stolen homes of Palestinians). Israelis are human people with lives and hopes and passions and deaths of any person are tragic.
BUT.
Palestinians are human people with lives and hopes and passions and their lives matter just as much and are snuffed out without the international community batting an eye - I remind you again. 212 Palestinians including 38 children were murdered this year before this weekend's missile strikes and if you didn't give a shit until Hamas killed the same number of Israelis at which point everyone went OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY HOW COULD PALESTINIANS DO THIS (while Israel killed 300+ more Palestinians in under 24 hours) that's bc uhhhh you're fucking racist and don't think Palestinian lives are as important as Israeli ones
so like. sure we can acknowledge that 250 Israeli civilians' deaths are a tragedy, if we can also agree that the 300+ Palestinian civilians killed in retaliatory strikes are a tragedy and most importantly if we can agree that the 200+ Palestinians killed in 2023 before the Hamas strikes this weekend are not just a tragedy but a deliberate atrocity.
in January the Israeli government made it vocally clear before the UN than not only do they consider the occupation of Palestine permanent, they are explicitly focused on taking over as much Palestinian land as possible in perpetuity. Since then this whole year there have been a total of only FOUR (nonconsecutive) FULL WEEKS in which NO Palestines were killed by Israel (compared to only 8 weeks in which Israelis WERE killed, of which 2 incidents were friendly fire from another IDF member)
It's legitimately tragic when people are killed. And Israel has been systematically killing Palestinians to the degree there are Palestinian casualties recorded about 3 days in every 5 this year, usually multiple, with displacements, demolitions, injuries, arrests and beatings recorded almost every single day. I do not know how LITERALLY anyone can look at the numbers from this year, let alone the last 75, and conclude that Israel is the victim of unprovoked violence.
#red said#i note again. ISRAEL THE STATE provoked the violence which ISRAELI PEOPLE face regardless of their political beliefs#Israel's government does not represent the beliefs of all Israelis. no state does.#Israelis live on stolen land in an apartheid state. some of them chose to do so and to enthusiastically participate and some don't.#the Israeli people en masse are as responsible for the Israeli state as the American people are for the American state#or the British people for the British state#which is to say they run the gamut from thinking the government doesn't go far enough to protesting constantly#Israeli doesn't mean evil. Israeli people are people like anyone else. and resisting apartheid from within an apartheid state#isn't easy and a lot of Israelis do. and even if they don't they're still human people.#Israel as a state like most colonial states puts work into propaganda fear and dehumanisation of the other.#people are responsible for breaking out of that but they're not personally culpable for the crimes of their country#it fucking sucks. that Israeli civilians are killed indiscriminately as part of this conflict.#IT JUST ALSO FUCKING SUCKS THAT PALESTINIAN CIVILIANS ARE KILLED DISPLACED AND IMPRISONED#WHETHER OR NOT THE NATIONS ARE INVOLVED IN DIRECT VIOLENT CONFLICT#Israeli civilians are collateral casualties in violence which is happening bc Palestinians would like to stop being killed almost daily#and that sucks. it isn't a good thing and i don't delight in their deaths. the people are not the state.#but it also sucks that Palestinian people are killed at a rate of 15-60 every month regardless of what if anything happens to Israeli people#prior to this week the highest monthly conflict-related death toll for Israel was 7. the lowest for Palestine was 12.#and btw at least 3 Israeli deaths recorded were cases of one IDF member accidentally shooting another while trying to kill a Palestinian#in September 0 Israelis were killed by Palestinians and yet 15 Palestinians were killed by Israeli forces.#that's not to pretend it's good for Israelis to die. it's to point out that the violence of Palestinians against Israelis is in desperation#while the violence of Israelis against Palestinians is of opportunity.#where Israeli noncombatants are killed by Palestinian forces it's almost always collateral damage. and to be clear that is still a tragedy.#Palestinian noncombatants are regularly collateral damage but they're ALSO singled out and shot dead in the street#and that's a much more deliberate act.#if a 13yo is killed in a missile strike. if a 13yo is hit by a car. if a 13yo is shot by a gunman. all those are tragedies.#for the victim. they're dead however they die. for their families it's the same level of grief.#but there is a DIFFERENCE. between knowing your actions may kill children. and putting a child in your sights and shooting them dead.#that kind of targeted violence against specific individual civilians is something Israeli forces do to Palestinians.#it isn't something that is on record as happening the other way around
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nachosncheezies · 6 months
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don't get me wrong i love mulder as a character and i don't put scully on a pedestal over him. she has her dumbass hours too.
i am an ~equal opportunity bitcher~ about these two 🤗
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craycraybluejay · 1 month
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schizo lizard stare + 'piercingly colored' + deeply disinterested to way too interested eyes = people will openly and deliberately move to the other side to not be near you and you never know whether to find this amusing or somewhat irritating
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tasukete-eirin · 2 months
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god i hate this fucking game
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steakout-05 · 2 months
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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tovaicas · 3 months
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friend and I were discussing it and it's so fucked how the ishgardians literally have nowhere to go even if they wanted to run
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mxdotpng · 9 months
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we. as a community. are severally lacking in anything about richard and asbel trying to kill each other.
EDIT: these tags have become less and less about asbel and richard killing each other. i am so sorry. do not ask me to speak about anything ever this is exactly what happens every time.
#.text#ohhh i could fix them. are you listening to me?#i genuinely did enjoy graces (<- hasnt actually finished it yet) and i love it DEARLY but i NEED to overhaul everything#could you imagine? asbel's entire character is about wanting to save people. he wants to save everyone he can#he wants to save sophie. he wants to save richard. but nothing really comes from that#what if he had to learn he cant save people alone? he told richard at the beginning that he couldnt shoulder everything.#thats what asbel is there for. to help richard shoulder his burdens. but asbel never had to learn the same.#he always saw it as his Own duty to save others - its HIS duty to save sophie. its HIS duty to save richard.#there are no consequences to this- he doesnt run himself into the ground#or end up hurting his friends. he doesnt run off alone and have them chase him. proving that they are there to help him#shoulder the same burdens he helps richard with. sophie doesnt get worse for this and neither does richard.#what if he had to learn that there were different ways to save people? he had used direct action constantly. every single time.#but what if he had to face the fact that thats not what everyone wants let alone needs? if he were to learn that some people#can be saved by saving themself. or that some people can be saved just by speaking to them rather than#having their problems fixed for them. what then? or if he were to meet someone who just. couldnt be saved.#i do think richard should live at the end -- i really do like that. BUT.#i think asbel should have had a chance to learn that maybe the only way to save richard was to kill him.#maybe this happens -- i dont know yet. i stopped right before the ending i believe. but i dont think it does.#he is the one to constantly. constantly. try to help others. and seek ways to help others. he doesnt know his place in the world#but when he can help someone find theirs. or help someone make sure they Stay here. he feels like he has one.#that his existence. him being saved. was not a mistake. and that he is meant to be here.#but i think i would have liked to see him learn that in some cases. some very tragic cases. there is salvation in death.#plus i think. it wouldve been nice to have someone tell asbel that sometimes people Cant get help. sometimes#the only way they can be saved is if they save themselves. because it means so Much. so many different things#it happens to sophie and richard and i feel like it should have happened to asbel too. its evident he does not care about#himself as much as he should. he has not forgiven himself for something that happened as a child. and he doesnt forgive himself for#things out of his control too. he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders -- except that weight is self imposed. and it is going#to kill him one of these days. it Should. there shoulf be consequences.#i dont knoww i just think the themes of the game kind of miss because of how little theyre actually implimented throughout the game#even though i enjoyed it SOOOO much genuinely. i really did.
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becausegoodbye · 2 years
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I'm obsessed with this piece. As absurd as it feels to say, it really feels like ... they've found the guy? They found out who the Zodiac Killer was. And he's dead, so there's no possibility of justice and it's all a little academic, but still.
To me the most important dimension of this is unmasking that sense of sneering senselessness that Zodiac pioneered: the figure of the terrifying serial killer who kills for no reason and cannot be understood. But behind most masks of 'incomprehensible evil', there's usually just misogyny and power and domestic violence, and Paul Doerr was no different. His daughter's recollections make such perfect, awful, patriarchal sense of the seemingly 'senseless' killings. Furious with his daughter for defying him and running away, he drives out to the local teen drug/sex spots – either to find and punish her, or else to punish the abstract shape of her: to exact revenge on the milieu that he blamed for having corrupted her.
The Zodiac Killer presented himself as a new and unique kind of evil, but he never actually was. He was the same kind of evil it always is. If the sad, odd revelation of his identity – so many years after it would have actually been a big deal – can mean anything, let it at least mean that.
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I feel like I need to drop all commitments, move across the country and try again.
Two years ago, in the hell that was 2020, I was supposed to go to college. I was supposed to go to my dream college for a major I was passionate about. It was only an hour from a friend I really really loved, who lived ten hours from me before that. I was about to be so close to her, to live my dream, to open the doors to my best life.
I took a weekend and did a college tour there in 2019. I stayed with that friend who was only an hour from the dream college. The second I stepped on campus, everything felt right. I felt like I belonged there. The library, the dorms, the grounds, it felt like home. I talked to the band and choir teacher about joining, she invited me to their production of Godspell in the spring that was going to include ASL interpreting students (my major). I saw my future and for once, it felt right.
Then in March 2020, I got an email. The college went bankrupt and was closing. Just months before I was supposed to be there.
And just like that, my plans, my life went out the window. I hadn't applied to any other colleges and now it was past most deadlines. I didn't want to go to a different college. I wanted that life back.
So, directionless, in June 2020 I moved two states away from my hometown, to live near my best friend. I didn't have a job, a car, an apartment, nothing. Just three boxes and some hope.
I met a potential roommate and toured the apartment the first day in the new state, and that day decided to move in. I ended up buying a sketchy minivan from my friend, and moved into my new apartment. Got a job and a couple of fish. But I didn't feel at home, it didn't feel right. It felt like I was living in someone else's apartment that I wasn't wanted in. Still, I was there for a year and a half.
Finally I got sick of it, I got impulsive, I moved states again. I applied for an apartment, got approved, put down a deposit, and six days later I packed my life into a UHaul and restarted. I got a different job, a different car because the first one only lasted about nine months, and now I was further from my best friend. But I was living alone and could make my own life.
I've lived here for eight months. I bought a dresser, I found a coffee shop that I like, the area is beautiful. Of all of the places I could've impulsively moved, this was a decent one. But I've had trouble settling in. I don't feel like I'm in the right place. I feel like this is just a placeholder, and I hate that.
I want to appreciate the life that I have right now. I live in a nice area, my best friend is only forty minutes from me, when three years ago he lived five hours away. I just got a promotion at my job. I count my blessings and I know I have so many, but I still feel like I'm in the wrong story.
And I know that that story passed me by. I'll never go to that college. The friend I was going to live near, we haven't talked since January 2020. I will never live the dream that I had and I know I need to get over it, but I feel like I'll be mourning it forever. And I always feel like I'm trying to chase it. Move to a new state, a new apartment, get a new job, maybe this time it'll feel right.
It doesn't feel right. I go to the coffee shop, I'm surrounded by people, I feel alone. I go to work, I'm surrounded by coworkers I've known for months, I feel like I don't know any of them. I go home, I'm surrounded by my belongings, it feels like this is just the storage unit where I keep myself.
I don't know what to do except run and hope that this time it'll feel right.
#so uh im not super okay rn#its fall. every fall since then has been difficult because i feel like i should be at college#i am truly mourning this life i shouldve had and thats such a strange feeling#mourning a person feels normal. its understandable. but mourning a life is so much harder to explain#i feel directionless. hopeless. trapped in a hell thats partially of my own creation#ive been thinking of moving across the country near my sibling. they keep trying to convince me to visit or move#im sincerely considering it. the way they talk about the city is amazing#huge lgbtq community. so many more opportunities. my sibling will be there and i love them a bunch#i know it wont replace the life that i want. nothing will#nothing will replace that life so i need to lay it to rest and make a new life instead of trying to recreate the other one#but right now that feels impossible and i just want to run away. away from everyone and everything i know and just reset#i know running away will solve nothing and i should try to create a life that i want here#its a good place to try#but it feels easier to run and keep running#i feel so lost snd hopeless and wish i had some sort of direction. if i had some direction. anything. that would make it better#but i wake up. go to work. go for a walk. watvh tv. make dinner#i should be more thankful! i have a job. money. food. a place to live. a best friend. a gf#and still i cant help but think of what i dont have which is such a shitty feeling#im exhausted with my current life. with how i feel. i want to try again
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ironmanstan · 2 years
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Changed my mind i hate children
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hellofastudysession · 2 years
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fanfic idea the ddlc club goes to the beach
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sapphicjigsaw · 4 months
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girl as someone going through some of that stuff as well no that stuff is not something everyone has and people are generally usimg 'the horrors' to mean like chores and things no one enjoys doing not. mental and or physical illnesses </3
I have learned recently I maybe have to do something about my debilitating mental illness and physical body deterioration. Unfortunately the horrors have decided I cannot do anything right now and should instead start shaking so hard I can’t read. And then pass out.
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suguann · 4 days
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Ex-husband!Gojo who doesn’t understand that the parents (mostly the moms who try to hide behind their giant sunglasses) at Mio’s soccer games talk, and he chooses today to pull you into his lap. Several sideways glances cast your way at how cozy you both must look as you watch your four-year-old daughter run in the wrong direction across the field because she got distracted by a butterfly.
He doesn’t hear what they talk about—aren’t they divorced? I’ve never seen anyone divorced act like that—or (worse) when they try to be subtle about their probing into Satoru’s dating life while you stand there with a stilted smile plastered onto your face. 
(More than likely, he’s listened to every word and doesn’t give it the same amount of thought or care as you do.)
“Gojo,” you hiss, trying to move off his lap to no avail. “I have my own chair.”
“Can you still call me that if it’s your name too?”
A huff. “Go bother somebody else—”
“Shh,” he tells you, tugging you further against his chest. “You’re missing the game. Mio’s finally found her way back onto the field again.”
“But everyone’s staring at us.” You catch the eye of a mother tearing into a pack of fruit snacks.
“So? Let them stare.”
Everyone starts cheering, and you both watch Mio chase the ball down the field, her little body ducking between the taller kids. 
“That’s my girl!” Gojo shouts over the other parents.    
And then Mio kicks the ball into— 
The wrong goal.
“Maybe we should have let her join t-ball,” you whisper, though you both clap as your daughter starts doing not-quite cartwheels in the middle of the field.
Ex-husband!Gojo who still does work around the house every Friday, and to your dismay, shirtless now that the weather is warmer.
The plate in your hands has a few scuffs, half of a cartoon character’s face scrubbed off to oblivion that Mio will have something to say about later. Doing everything to stop from staring out into the yard where he’s mowing the lawn because the window is right there, above the sink, to tempt you.
It’s difficult when his chest glistens with sweat from the early-summer heat and how those stupid gray cotton shorts (that you know he picked out with the sole purpose of torturing you) sit dangerously low on his hips— 
He looks towards the kitchen window, a crooked smile stretching across his lips. The blood rushing to your brain, that must be what makes you give a sudsy wave and cause heat to creep into your middle.
Ex-husband!Gojo who strolls into your room while you’re putting away laundry one afternoon, and unsurprisingly shirtless as he crowds you against the dresser. Front to back. His mouth at your ear.
That steady resolve you pride yourself in crumbles at your feet, and you swallow the tiny, helpless sound working its way up your throat. A slippery thing that slips out. “Satoru…”
“You know, these little shorts were always my favorite,” he tells you, his fingers playing with the elastic waistband.
“Were they?”
“Don’t you remember? Couldn’t get them out of the way fast enough.”
Your mouth is dry, something playing in a loop in the back of your brain. Early morning, breakfast cooling on the stove, crumbs stuck to your cheek, these shorts dangling off the leg propped up on the counter—
“Where’s Mio?”
A kiss to your nape, a knowing smile. “Taking a nap.”
Ex-husband!Gojo who works your shorts and underwear off your legs before pulling you to the edge of the bed. 
“Satoru, we—we can’t keep doing this—”
Your words trail off into a moan when he slaps your clit with the leaky tip of his cock, and wet sounds echo in the room.
“Yeah? Go on, baby,” he tells you, slowly splitting you open, stuffing you full, two puzzle pieces slotting perfectly into place like it should be (how it’s always been). “Tell me some more why we can’t keep doing this.” 
You can’t, not with how he’s filling you up in the way only he knows how. Not when he hooks two thick fingers into your mouth because you’re getting too loud, pinning you against the bed with your cheek buried into your pillow, every sound choking into nothing.
You wriggle underneath him, fingers clawing at the comforter and your back arching.
“Christ, look at you,” he growls, leaning over you, teeth bared. “Fucking look at you. You needed this, didn’t you?”
Ex-husband!Gojo who presses what leaks out back inside you with his thumb after he pulls out, wet and sticky circles between your legs until you fall apart again with a soft cry. His thumb is there again, at your entrance, pushing and stopping like a plug, muttering something under his breath that sounds like, “Can’t waste it.” 
And quieter, “Maybe it’ll take.”
(Who knows?
Maybe it will. Worse things have happened.)
Ex-husband!Gojo who stays for dinner for the fourth time that week, and none of the reasons have been because Mio asked if he could. It’s more about the fact that you’ve enjoyed how whole your family feels again, that you can pretend for a moment this is what you do every night.
(How it was probably always going to come back to this.) 
That your wedding ring doesn’t sit in the back of your sock drawer, and his isn’t tucked away in his wallet. That you don’t feel guilty when you think about saying I love you or wishing he’d stay longer—
“Daddy, you gonna lose,” Mio tells Satoru as Mario Kart appears on the screen.
“We’ll see,” he laughs, tugging on one of her pigtails until she’s giggling and swatting his hand away.
You lean back against the couch, watching them with a small smile you share with Satoru over your daughter’s head.
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gikairan · 10 months
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In a modern fantasy setting, magic users would be the most desirable computer programmers and you can't convince me otherwise
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