#UGH. UUUGGHHH!!!!!!!!!

[akimojo]

still thinking about how crazy good the ffxiii duos were

like vanille and sazh???? a suicidal 40 year old man trying his best to keep going so he can protect a 19 year old girl when he really just wants to give up? without knowing said girl played a major role in the event that made him lose everything?? while she herself is absolutely consumed by the guilt of it to the point of also being suicidal??? and both of them essentially try to kill themselves but when it doesn't work out that way they realize they're actually terrified of dying and of leaving things the way they are???? and so they end up indirectly giving each other a reason to keep on living????????? GOOD LORD

[uuuhshiny]

Russell Crowe in Robin Hood

Fucking archer!

[happy-hokkyokugitsune]

The people I followed back after the glitch still aren't showing up on my feed despite it saying I'm following them. Ugh.

[michelleelizabethtanner]

What would you have rather seen in canon:

Brio hug scene where Rio is trying to comfort an upset Beth

Scene where either Beth or Rio is injured but they can’t go to the hospital so the other attempts to fix the injury

Beth using Rio’s name to his face

(Thank goodness you have more or less versions of these in rough night to keep us fed lol)

Personally I would’ve liked to see the injury one because it would force some vulnerability between them that neither would show normally lol

Uuugghhh it’s so hard to chooooose, Anon!! I wanna see all of them. 😭😭😭

Ok so going through one by one…

I would say a hug is out for me in canon. At least as much as we got of canon. They weren’t really a huggy kind of couple. Their touches were very targeted and very specific. A hug is something else. Beth’s hugs were almost disingenuous even with people she loved. She’s uncomfortable with touch and her hugs were always guarded. And I didn’t want to have that discomfort between Brio. Their intimate touches were more subtle and always with him being mindful of her physical boundaries. His “I’m gonna teach you” moment was a “huggy” moment. It had that comforting feeling, that intimacy of a hug to it, while also giving Beth the space to keep her discomfort with physical touch. I really like that moment because it respected their boundaries and offered meaningful comfort at a level Beth could hear and understand.

I do love the fixing each other’s wounds trope. This is my very close second. It’s so symbolic of their atonement for the wounds they’ve inflicted on each other. I agree with you, that kind of vulnerability would have been healing for them and connected them further. Plus the ample opportunity to explore each other’s bodies and remember how intimately familiar they are with each other. A chance to remember touching intimately in a very different way and in a very different setting. There’s something so romantic to that nostalgia for them. That acknowledgment of how they each have changed and yet are so familiar. Ugh! I wanna read some injury fics now. 🥹

But I think I actually would have very much liked to see Beth use Rio’s name to his face. I think had she said his name with that little crack in her voice she gets when she’s very emotional, he would have dropped down on one knee and proposed right on the spot. That much vulnerability from her, her finally humanizing him right to his face, he could not have resisted it. He loooooves rescuing her. And her saying his name in a vulnerable way would have cemented him to her permanently. It would have been her choosing him. At least in his perception, her using that much honesty in her communication with him would have meant the world. He would have taken it as her undying pledge of her love and loyalty. (It’s kinda what I decided to do in Rough Night. She uses his name when she’s being honest and vulnerable, and he calls her baby when he’s doing the same.)

Or actually, you know what I was really waiting for and never got? Her touching him. Any kind of touch initiated by her would have broken through so many barriers. Because she isn’t a touchy person, her making that move would have meant a lot. He knows she doesn’t do touch. It would have stopped him in his tracks. Her touch is so weighted with meaning whenever she offers it to him. So a platonic touch of any kind would have communicated everything unsaid between them.

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 10

And we have finally reached the first two-parter of this infuriating season! This one... ooh boy, this is gonna be a doozy.

If one thing stood out to me the most this episode... it was the wasted potential. This season has been having Marinette and everyone in the know around her bellyaching over and OVER again about how her "Superpowers keep her from having a relationship," and leaving my issues with that fixation to the side, Alya, Marinette's best friend, is literally right there as a perfect example to refute all the reasons the show keeps parroting to keep Marinette miserable. Alya KNOWS Marinette's secret, and accepts her entirely for it; it hasn't affected her admiration for Ladybug, or negatively influenced her friendship with Marinette. This episode more than anything just highlights how little anything by romance matters to the writers, even at the expense of the cast.

Episode 10: Kwami's Choice Part 1 (Transmission) 

Uuugghhh... I really, REALLY want to hate this opening, since it's mostly just Marinette bellyaching about her failed relationships and treating this as her being a failure as a hero, but to be honest, heartache IS a genuine reason to doubt one's self worth. My primary issue is, once again, THIS FUCKING SHOW ACTING AS IF SHE HAS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY!!! 

Given how repetitive S5 has been so far, I probably won't have much to rant about, at least not until I get into the nitty gritty of the episodes... And once again we get Marinette's "I'm just a normal girl with a normal life" delusion. 

Ughh... them trying to do a reference to the series' theme song here doesn't work, because framing her saying "nobody knows that I'm pathetic" just comes off as awkward and a little bit cringe. 

...I don't consider myself religious but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST how far are these idiots going to take making Marinette into her own fucking strawman!? Her losing the Miraculous HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE!! Even ignoring just how utterly disjointed and nonsensical Risk and Strikeback were, what she did was, going ENTIRELY off of what she knew at the time, the smartest option; find the one person she has every reason to believe hasn't been affected by the Akuma's powers and recruit them to take down the threat. Her getting tricked by Felix HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER FEELINGS FOR ADRIEN!! It was entirely the fact that Felix was a petty, selfish little weasel who decided to stab her in the back at the last second through a writer introducing a never before explained or expanded upon aspect of the Ladybug Yo-Yo's powers. It was complete and utter coincidence, and it only exists in this context to act as a lazy deflection from REAL AND MEANINGFUL CRITICISMS OF THE LOVE SQUARE and more forced drama. Fucking SHIT!! 

And we get another case of the writers treating love like it's a choice someone can just MAKE, and using the risk of Akumatization as a lazy deflection from having Marinette actually confront her problems (and doing it badly since Marinette is visibly sad and miserable and she can't FORCE HERSELF NOT TO BE UPSET). 

Ugh... they were seriously trying to "foreshadow" the nonsense that is Derision in Transmission. Like, seriously, what the fuck is this nonsense with Chloe saying "Marinette had to get my permission to show up to school"? 

And we get Nino trying to be a wingman by having Adrien be the one who brings Marinette her homework instead of Alya. Like, I can grudgingly appreciate the effort... but this is not the time. AT ALL.

Okay, now we get a brief scene of Adrien feeling guilty over hurting Marinette's feelings, which is good. Then Plagg acts like the Worst Wingman again, which is bad. Seriously, WHY IS THIS SERIES SO FIXATED ON THE IDEA THAT SUPERPOWERS MAKE A RELATIONSHIP FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!? 

...The only thing keep me from breaking my FUCKING KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW is just how much this scene is trying, and honestly managing, to be touching... IF NOT FOR THE FUCKING FACT THAT LITERALLY ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT IS BECAUSE OF THE PISS-POOR WRITING ARTIFICIALLY MAKING ANY ATTEMPT AT ROMANCE FAIL BETWEEN THEM AND TREATING BEING A COUPLE AS THE BE-FUCKING-END ALL OF HUMAN EXISTENCE!! Listening to Marinette mope to herself in her bed about her ideal boyfriend honestly just pisses me off because it's crossed the point from understandable heartache to JUST FUCKING WHINING ABOUT HER OWN PERSONAL FAILINGS, WRITING-INDUCED OR NOT!! 

Okay, I found a NEW THING FOR ME TO BE PISSED OFF ABOUT!! Firstly, Tikki, ONCE AGAIN, acting as the shill for the "they can never know one another's true identities" argument is just plain fucking annoying by now, and why the fuck is Alya not here for an emotional breakdown!? SHE DOES KNOW THAT MARINETTE IS LADYBUG, SO SHE IS THE PERFECT PERSON TO BE HERE AND REASSURE THAT YES, SHE KNOWS MARINETTE'S EVERY FACET AND PERSONALITY TRAIT AND ACCEPTS HER WHOLEHEARTEDLY, ROMANCE OR NO!! For all that is good and decent, they FUCKING RUINED what could've been a touching moment of platonic solidarity between Alya and Marinette (leaving the BULLSHIT of them treating their Secret Identities as this iron-clad law to the side), and reaffirming WHY Marinette even bothered to tell Alya the truth in the first place, NOT THIS FARCE OF A DRAMATIC SCENE OF EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY!!! 

I just... cannot bring myself to give any kind of a shit about this scene of Marinette putting herself down and decrying that she's a failure when it IS OVER FUCKING ROMANCE OF ALL THINGS.

I am not going to comment on the class treating them sending Adrien to Marinette as this magical cure-all and them deciding to use ZOE as the fucking straightman to this bad joke, because there is literally nothing I can say about this that isn't just a mindless retread of this idiotic show's obsession with treating romance as this miracle cure in life and how Alya is UTTERLY FUCKING FAILING AT BEING A BEST FRIEND!!! 

Great to see Alya having failed to learn anything about respecting Marinette's feelings and boundaries because WHY THE FUCK NOT!? 

Them trying to cut back and forth between Adrien and Marinette crying in their beds with the wild party their classmates are throwing is completely inappropriate because the party itself is so downplayed that it's more their classmates talking with faint party music playing in the background interspersed with scenes of Adrien and Marinette being miserable. 

Uuugghhh... it's moments like THIS stupidity that really, REALLY make me question how and why Alya is meant to be Marinette's best friend. 

Gabe saying "I'm not a monster" is the biggest fucking joke of this season to date. 

And we get a scene of Gabriel smirking like a monster after convincing Adrien to wear an Alliance Ring. Oh wow, he's most certainly NOT a monster and that totally wasn't suspicious as hell. It's shit like this that shoot any attempt at portraying Gabe as redeemable in the foot, not even getting into how both he and Nathalie were fully complicit in ordering the death of Fei's father in the Shanghai special without a hint of guilt or remorse. 

You know, this entire fucking episode basically just makes me think "Why the fuck has Nooroo and the others not run for the hills if they can just REJECT A WIELDER!?" The lack of establishment of ANY FUCKING RULES regarding Wielders just pisses me off. 

One of the most stupid moments in this scene of Tikki and Plagg "relieving the heroes of their missions" is how Plagg says "now [Adrien] can be [himself]," which falls apart since Adrien hasn't made ANY progress at dropping his "model mask" around even his alleged best friends. 

Okay, WHY THE FUCK WOULD LOSING WHAT AMOUNTS TO ONE OF HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS, EVEN IF IT MEANS BEING ABLE TO TELL THE ONE HE LOVES HOW HE FEELS, REDUCE HIS NEGATIVE EMOTIONS!?

Yup, instantly getting over it, like some "big weight was lifted." Do- Do I even need to begin on how disgusting this shit is!? This systematic defilement of the superhero ideal by presenting it as exclusively a burden that only brings hardship to the heroes in question and that their lives can only improve by stopping being heroes, willing or otherwise!? And NONE OF THIS EVEN REMOTELY ADDRESSES MARINETTE'S PROBLEMS WHEN IT COMES TO ADRIEN!! NONE OF THIS EVER HAS!!! IT JUST TREATS HER GETTING WITH HIM AS SOME KIND OF MAGICAL CURE THAT FIXES HER INABILITY TO TALK OR MAINTAIN EVEN ELEMENTARY LEVEL BALANCE AROUND HIM!!! GAAAAHHHH!!!! 

Well at least they're acknowledging that she still can't talk to the guy. 

I just can't take this confession seriously. Just... just this complete and utter inability for the show to acknowledge any of the shitty, obsessive, stalker-ish, entitled behavior they've shown towards one another. Any of it. 

I just can't take how utterly obsessed their class (and close associates) are with their dating life. Not at all. 

I just... I cannot for the life of me see WHAT REASONING TIKKI AND PLAGG HAD FOR DECIDING THAT ALYA AND NINO SHOULD BE THEIR WIELDERS!!! Alya basically just scolded her sister for pissing off her friend on social media, but it was her own damn fault for ignoring her fucking calls that it escalated like this. Granted, Tikki had no way of knowing that, but NOTHING about the situation paints Alya as being a good wielder. And the same goes with Plagg; nothing indicates why he thinks Nino should be a good wielder... but him discarding Nino as a choice when he sees that Nino is in a relationship with Alya is at least SOMETHING consistent in this fiasco. 

Plagg. Picked Zoe. For giving BASIC FUCKING ADVICE AND CAUTION!? Nope. NOPE nope nope nope, I am not entertaining this nonsense. Not even REMOTELY. At least it's a reason, but it's such a fucking STUPID reason, because it's something that could be gotten from BASICALLY ANYONE. 

...Plagg. Gave Zoe. His Miraculous. IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT, and only really concealed himself by the fact that he was hiding in a dark grate on the side of the road. I just... does he really have ANY REASON TO BELIEVE ZOE WOULDN'T FREAK OUT AT THE SIGHT OF HIM!? For once, thank all that's good that Miracuverse Paris is basically abandoned.

Okay, so Tikki's reasoning is that Alya was once a successful holder. Alya. The girl who once spent several minutes trying out names and poses, and had to basically go fetch Marinette to actually be the one to defeat the villain. (Skepticism rises) 

Yeah, she SURE DOESN'T like keeping secrets from him given that she couldn't even last a MONTH without blowing her secret that she was still active as Rena Furtive to Nino. Do these people seriously not understand the concept of personal secrets!? Just being in a relationship with someone does NOT entitle you to know all their secrets, and does not obligate that they NEED to share all their secrets. 

And now we get the Akuma Nora's actions helped create... and we get no hint to his motivations, or even what his fucking powers are meant to be. 

Okay, even if Kiku doesn't seem to have any Unique powers from being an Akuma, him using Voyage to dodge an attack while still prepped to launch his own was something I'll give him props for. 

Okay, the fact that Kiku is dumb enough to expose where his Akumatized object is by having his Shell-ter up preemptively docks those points back down. 

... Okay, I won't lie, seeing Kitty Noir and Scarabella take down Kiku through a combination of both strategy and recruitment of civilian aid was nice. Seeing that ordinary people can step up and be heroes is nice. Although the fact that the firefighters have gold, featureless masks that seem molded to the contours of their face is creepy as hell. 

Wow, what "great advice," Alya. Keeping their emotions in check, THAT'S clearly something people can just DO. It's not as if your emotions will constantly shift and fluctuate throughout a conversation and getting pissed off is inevitable if they can't reach an agreement and the basis for their argument is negative to begin with. 

And here we are, the moment when the fact that neither Tikki nor Plagg told their new wielders to ditch, or at least take off, the Alliance Rings, even if just to avoid having them blurt out how many steps they've counted after an Akuma Battle, ends up biting everyone in the ass. Sigh…

[make-a-little-mischief]

ugh

he's so handsome

uuugghhh

sometimes frustrated grunts are all I got with jer

***Small Disclaimer*** Hi friends, if you'd like to repost this photo feel free, I just ask that you credit my blog if you do. Thanks! You're all so great. Ugh. SO great. Uuugghhh I can't get over your greatness. I'm in such a weird mood today...ugh.

[moon-ursidae]

THE LAST OF US SPOILERS

okay so i’m with a friend watching this so this may not be as extensive as my notes usually are.

I’M SO EXCITED. RANCH HOUSE SCENE.

RANCH HOUSE SCENE. THE CHOICE. AHHHHH.

THREE MONTHS LATER WOO

TEEEAAAAAAAA JOEL MILLER

I LOVE THIS

THE MAP TACTICCCCCC

I FUCKIN LOVE THIS COUPLE

THE PANIC ATTACK UUGGHHHHH LEMME HUG HIM

TLOU GOODNIGHT AHHHH

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

THE CAMPFIRE CONCEPT ART AHHHHH

THE DUCT TAPE ON THE BOOT AHHHHH

BELLA LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE ASHLEY

THE ASTRONAUT TALK AHHHHHHH

this wjole sequence has me so EMOTIONAL

THE BRIDGE

THE WHISTLING

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

OMG THE HYDRO PLANT

JACKSON SOON

GRABBING HER HAND AHH AHHH AHHH

AHHHHH MARIA

THE WAY JOEL STARTED TO PANIC I’M GONNA YELL

ELLIE WITH THE DOG😭😭😭😭

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS CINEMATOGRAPHY

JACKSOOOONNNNNNN

IF I HEAR RETURNING I’LL LOSE IT

MUSIC FRIM THE SECOND GAME FUCK OFF

THE HUG

THEM LAUGHING

ELLIE LOOKS SO SAAAAAD

joel and his manners i love him

ELLIE IS SO FERAL I LOVE HER

THE WAY JOEL SCOLDED HER LMAO

“joel, say congrats.” “congrats.”

I LOVE THEM

“we’re communists” THE WAY JOEL SMIRKS AT TOMMY HAHA

SHIMMER!!!!!!

the wat ellie wants to stay by him UUUGGHHH😭😭😭

HERE COMES THE TALK

the way he’s lying AHHHHHH

TOMMY GONNA BE A DAD???

THE TENSION

ALL GONE SEASONS

JOEL’S TRAUMA PLEASE

CRYING CRYING

THE ROOM

THE ROOM

THE GIRAFFE PLUSH

AHHHHHHHHH

i love that they’re addressing menstration

THE JACKET FROM THE GAME

AHH AHHH AHHHH

IF SHE SEES A PICTURE OF JOEL AND SARAH I’LL LOSE IT

I LOVE MARIA

SARAH WAS JOEL’S DAUGHTER😭😭😭😭

ellie doesn’t miss a fuckin beat man

HIS HAND AHHHH

THE TALK HERE WE GO

HIS FUCKIN PUPPY EYES PEDRO PASCAL YOU MOTHERFUCKER

ELLIE IS GONNA SEE THEM TALK AND RUN OFF AHHHHH

IS JOEL GONNA CRY WAIT

I’M GONNA FUCKIN VAULT OVER THE SIDE OF A BRIDGE

I LOVE JOEL MILLER WITH MY WHOLE HEART

I LOVE PEDRO PASCAL WITH MY WHOLE HEART

THE FUCKING MUSIC I’M DONE

IT’S GONNA FUCKIN HAPPEN

THE SCENE

THE SCENE

THE SCENE

AHHHHHHHHH

HERE WE GO

AHHHHHHHHHH

FUUUCK MAN

GOVE THEM EVERY AWARD

THE FLASHBACK FUCK OFF

YOU DESERVE A CHOICE AHHHH

I’M GONNA CRY UUUGGHHHHHH

IF IT ENDS WITH HIM FALLING ON THE REBAR I’M GONNA LOSE IT

THE LAST OF US ASTRAY

I LOVE JOEL AND TOMMY

THE WAY ELLIE’S HOLDING ONTO JOEL UUUGGHHHHHH

GIMME THE CINEMATOGRAPHY YEAAAAAAA

HIM TEACHING HER TO SHOOT

HIS SMUG SMIRK

THE PATH ARE YOU KIDDING

I’M GONNA CRY JUST BC OF THE SONG

HIS SMILE TALKING ABOUT CONTRACTING

HIM MOCKING HIM AHHHH

IS IT GONNA END WITH HIM ON THE REBAR????

I WANTED TO BE A SINGER AHHHHHHHHH

ASKING PERMISSION FOR THE GUN AND HE DOESN’TBHAVE TO THINK ABOUT TRUSTING HER BUT IF SHE’LL NEED IT OR NOT UUGGHHHHHH

OH FUCK STRAIGHT TO THE LIST

OH FUCK OH FUCK

DON’T GO UPSTAIRS

I’M SO SCARED

IT’S GONNA END WITH HIM ON REBAR ISN’T IT

OH SHIT RAIDERS

I’M SO SCARED

AHHH THE CHOKING ANIMATION FROM THE GAME

OH HE GOT STABBED INSTEAD?????

OH SHIT????

FALLIN OFF THE HORSE AHHHHHHHHHH

ELLIE AHHHHHHH

OH MY GOD

FUCK OFF WITH DEPECHE MODE

GIVE EVERYONE AN EMMY

LEFT BEHIND NEXT EP OH MY GOD

BTS WOOOOO

“that’s what i would have” AHHHHHHHH

HIM CRYING I’M GONNA LLEEEAAAVVVEEEEEEEE

ugh oh my god

i need to rewatch that episode bc i couldn’t fully process the ep

more analysis later bc jesus fucking christ

ALL GONE PLAYING FUCK OFF

i know joel miller does not believe they can make a vaccine and said that to make her feel better

[smoosnoom]

MOON I'm over the MOOOoonn I'm so happy I could be of assistance with your new fic!! (kissin by the lake weird Grease ask) Your fic was precious!!! I woke up at 5 am and was like o wait Moon said there was gonna be a story comiiing so I checked and it was there so I read it and then took a nap so I didn't wake up till 12 in the afternoon but it was worth it!! Ugh so cute! I read it before I saw your response to my ask but immediately I was like wait that was my idea ! but also I'm sure a bunch of other people had that idea lol but I was like oh this is the fic this is the summer fic!! and got really excited and like wow it's so good Moon!!! yayy congrats on getting out of your block and sharing such stinking cute stuff!! mIKE AASKINng Will if he can kiss him instead of just kissing him is so sweeet and cuuute and I love that Mike get's to see Will's gears turn at that question and so much consent and love and cutecutecutecute OK ok C U T E "YES. PLEASE." WILL. HONEY. P L E A S E uuugghhh they're so CUTE

sorry that got aggressive they're just cute and they makes me want to throw my computer off a cliff thanks

omg im so sorry for taking forever to get back to u !!! but i am so so glad u enjoyed it, and also waking up at five am and immediately reading a fic is very insane and ive done that several times . i understand u

yes i did take an idea of urs or two, im not sure if i had some written already or if i took inspo if im going to be very honest, but ill give u all the credit :D im just relieved i did ur ask justice !! also "sorry that got aggressive" did make me giggle LOL u are so real for that

im soososo happy u liked it, that means the world to me !!!!! thank u so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[will-you-pick-me]

kicking my FEET so MUCH!!! ulrich is so so so. he is SOOOO. ugh!!!!!! i like that guy so bad id do anything 4 him u know who id also do anything 4? MIKEY!!! im thinking im gonna make my lil yn a tiger shark humanoid cause the nickname tiger is just so......ugh!! UUUGGHHH!! how'd mikey come up w/ that anyways??

Mikey values people who have some fight in them, so he calls Y/N that to encourage them to be bold and stand up for themselves.

You might have already guessed, but Mikey and Ulrich are narrative opposites! Where Ulrich wants to tame and subdue, Mikey wants to elevate and make wild. The things that Ulrich would want to "fix" in you, Mikey would find beauty in. Likewise, what Mikey would be concerned over in you, Ulrich would capitalize on and reinforce.

They're the protagonist and antagonist for a reason :3

[thenewfuture]

You sooooo had that coming Nagito. Take a mental note, DO NOT piss off the basically-demigod. He gave Akane of all people a cruisin for a brusin by ACCIDENT so we can probably chalk it up to your luck he not to bash your face in

*cough* *cough, cough*...noted...uuugghhh...

Yeesh, that was intense...you two okay back there?

*Hina peers behind Hiroko, shaking* Y-y-yeah...we're good...

*Hiro also peers behind her, trembling as well* Yeah...th-thank mom...

Ugh...nothing like air flowed behind blocked...to really get the blood flowing....

Nagito, are you alright?

I...I think I'll live...

Good.

*SMACK!*

OWWW!

Do not EVER drag our departed friend's name like that, ever again you swine!

Do not try to assault him any more than has been!

But I wanna get a some hits in after what this maniac has been spewing!

Motherfucker deserves after the shit he put us through in the game and now!

Yeah! Screw this guy!

Enough. While I will not attempt at rationalizing Nagito's words and actions towards you, causing any further damage to a previously comatose patient after just waking up could prove disastrous to his health.

But, but he-

No buts. Like the rest of you, he needs to prove to the Foundation that he can be redeemed. And thanks to Hajime's outburst just now, the report I make will have a hard time justifying how he can do so.

I understand you're pain and how hard this must be for you all, Hajime especially. But should you attempt any more of these petty squabbles with violence or even murder...the Foundation will not spare you. Think about these consequences before doing so....

........

.........

..........

...........

[aaeonss]

oh no

i woke up even LATER today, ruined my perfect sleeping schedule to read a boring ass comic uuugghhh

and one of my room's lights stopped working.... how fun...

anyways i still haven't finished cleaning my room because i'm that much of a mess, whenever i clean a section i mess a different section up ugh and i keep procrastinating, and my procrastinating gets even worse if i don't wake up early which is perfect.... i'm not liking today tbh

at least i'm still doing good food wise, i'm still eating nutritious meals <3 and i've been obsessed with eggs lately lol

[obnoxiousselfdiagnosedneurosis]

Oh look another wip I’m too lazy atm to finish

Here’s the ref I used

[banghwa]

ugh.

[jarpadandjensens]

sam|11.17

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 27: Intrulogical (TW)

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 27 - Your eyes match your soulmate’s hair color. If they dye their hair, your eyes change colors.

TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!! Attempted rape (by unnamed OC), drugging, implied underage drinking (though none is actually seen), emetophobia/vomiting, Halloween, alcohol, characters being tipsy/drunk, parties. Happy/satisfying ending.

Word count: 4.7k

Logan lived his life based on routine. In a world of constant change, it felt comforting to always know what his next step was. His mornings always started the same; wake up at seven o’clock sharp, sneak to the dorm bathroom in an attempt to not wake his essentially nocturnal roommate, and brush his teeth. Wet the toothbrush, pea sized amount of toothpaste, wet the brush again, and start on the left side of his mouth. Brush for exactly two minutes, wash face, and then attempt to calm down the bedhead. He’d sneak back into the room, change silently, and then make his way to the shared kitchen to make cereal for breakfast. The only variable in his routine was which fruit he’d eat along with his Cheerios. Then he’d triple check that all of his homework was packed properly, and head off to his morning class.

Except today.

For someone who rarely got distracted from his normal routine, he was surprisingly still as he glared, shocked, into his reflection. Water still dripped off his face and all over the counter, but he couldn’t tear his attention from it. Because his normally dark brown eyes were now neon green.

“Are you kidding me?!” He yelled before he could stop himself, storming back into their room and dropping back onto his bed.

“What’s’it?” Virgil mumbled, lifting his exhausted face from where they’d been smooshed into the pillows. Logan spun his face up towards the top bunk, jaw clenched, and gestured towards his eyes.

“I have a presentation today!” Logan continued, looking away from Virgil’s failed attempt to cover a smile, “And I look ridiculous! No one will take me seriously!”

“Just in time for Halloween, I guess. They just look like contacts.”

“Hallow-” Logan sprung to his desk to look at his calendar accusingly, groaning when he realized it was in fact the thirty first. “Ugh, I have a paper due tomorrow!”

“Don’t tell me you’re backing out of the party now, Lo. I already promised people I’d go, and I’m not going alone.”

“I won’t back out of the party,” Logan grumbled, crossing his arms. Virgil gave a satisfied hum, flopping back into his comforter. When he spoke again, his voice was muffled.

“Out of all people, I’m surprised you forgot.”

“So sue me, if a frivolous game of promiscuous dress up comes after passing my classes in the list of importance.” 

The emo snorted. “What’s your costume gonna be?”

“I am not wearing a costume!” Logan’s voice was almost offended.

“You already look like a traffic light. Might as well complete the look.” 

Logan grumbled angrily, marching back toward the bathroom to finish getting ready. “I’m not wearing a costume. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Aw, c’mon, Lo. For me?”

That stopped Logan in his tracks. He spun around and took a careful breath, glaring down his overly pleased roommate. “Fine. Just for you.” 

Virgil gave another satisfied hum, before squinting his eyes at Logan scrutinizingly. “I wonder if your eyes glow in the dark. Can you imagine if the prof turns the lights off for a presentation and-”

“UUUGGHHH!” Logan yowled as he slammed the bathroom door shut, shaking his head at Virgil’s snickers. 

------------------------

They were meeting up at the party at the end of classes (right about when Virgil tended to wake up), so Logan headed there directly after his final class, just as the evening sun was fading behind the horizon. It was already packed with people already picking the snack and drinks table bare, a lopsided sign that said ‘21+ only’ forgotten near an empty beer box. If Logan were to assume correctly, the sign was only there to assuage the conscience of whoever was hosting tonight, and not actually to stop the underage drinking. Even if he was above legal drinking age, he still didn’t experience many of the positives of drinking, so he grabbed a can of iced tea and stood next to a wall to wait for Virgil.

It hadn’t been a full five minutes before a man sidled up to him, sipping from a half empty beer bottle and watching Logan with a careful eye. He didn’t spare so much as a glance in return, barely acknowledging the newcomer’s presence.

“What’s a wallflower like you doing at a rager like this?” He drawled with an almost audible impish smile.

“If this is considered a rager, I’d hate to see what a calm party looks like.”

“Aw, we just haven’t gotten started yet! We’re fueling up for when the moon comes out. And you haven’t answered my question, flower.”

“I’m simply waiting for a friend.”

“Oh, and does this friend have a name?” He purred. 

Frustrated, Logan turned to the man, and promptly froze. Looking down at him with pitch black eyes was a person in a costume he couldn’t recognize; a black and white striped suit that looked like he’d raked it through dust, and a mold green tie. The stubble on his face could have been his own five o’clock shadow or makeup, but it only functioned to make him look far hotter than what was fair. What was most shocking though, and Logan was baffled that he’d missed it in the initial approach, was the mop of electric-shock-straight neon green hair on his head. 

“He- I don’t-”

“Didn’t take you for the type to get flustered,” The man snorted, taking another sip. “What do you have? Aw, iced tea? And not even spiked? A crime.”

How did he not see Logan’s eyes? The hair was the exact same color; Logan would know. He’d spend the whole day watching his reflection, hoping that his soulmate would have some mercy and dye their hair back to its original color. Neon green was not exactly the most subtle color, and he had not missed the snickers or silent glances from his classmates and professors all day. So the question remained, why wasn’t this guy saying anything?

“I don’t drink. I tend to just become lethargic when I do.” He answered instead, gripping his can a little tighter. It took far too much effort to keep his voice from straining. 

“Fair enough. I’m not pressuring you to drink, no worries. At least we’ll have one sober mind at this party tonight.” The taller man winked at him, flashing him that stupidly stunning smile again. 

But then it occurred to Logan as he kept searching the man’s dark eyes desperately. His eyes were too dark, almost pitch black, while Logan’s hair was several shades lighter. So... there was no way they were soulmates. Just as quickly as the hope had exploded in his stomach, it dissipated, leaving him feeling more exhausted than usual. Stupid feelings.

“Logan, there you are!” An unusually loud voice called through his stupor and he spun around to see Virgil’s fanged smile. In the back of his mind, he remembered watching Virgil putting together his elaborate vampire costume over the last few weeks, but he’d never seen the full thing put together until now. “Ah, and Remus found you. Scram, Beetlejuice.”

Remus, apparently, didn’t seem at all offended by the jab. Instead, he seemed to smile wider. “Nice to see you too, emo. Is that any way to treat the host of the party?”

To Logan’s surprise, Virgil smiled too. “Oh, shut up. You’re going to give Logan a heart attack.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Dracula. Why don’t you go get a drink, and I’ll keep him company?”

“Nuh uh. No way. Not leaving him with you any longer than I have already.” With that, Virgil hooked his arm through Logan’s and led him back to the drink table. 

“Remember, Virgil, drinks are only for the big kids!”

“I’m older than you are!” He flipped the bird over Logan’s shoulder to the host, earning a barked laugh in response. “He never lets me forget I’m a whole three inches shorter than him.”

“You know the host of the party?”

Virgil hummed in response, pouring himself a cup of punch that reeked of alcohol. “How else would I get invited? We were in English together in third year, and I haven’t been able to shake him since. He’s like a leech.”

“You seem friendly with him.”

The elder froze, solo cup barely touching his lips as he looked over Logan slowly. “Everything okay? You’re not usually this… quiet.” They could both tell it wasn’t the word he’d wanted to use.

For a brief moment, Logan considered telling Virgil about his brief flair of hope, about how for a single second he’d felt nothing but relief and desire and elation, and how it had been ripped away from him just as quickly. But then he realized that, no, Virgil didn’t need that to bring down the mood of the first party he’d attended in a year, since his anxiety had flared. If it still bothered him after the party, he’d bring it up. That was unlikely, though. Logan was especially gifted in the art of repression.

“I’m just a tad out of my element. Nothing to worry about,” he responded with a smile. Virgil didn’t fall for it, if the way he watched Logan as he sipped his drink was anything to go off of, but he did them both the favor of not pushing it. For now. 

“I thought I told you to wear a costume,” Virgil gasped as he drained the cup, immediately refilling it from the same bowl.  

“I did.” Logan gestured towards the single piece of paper taped to his white shirt. It took Virgil a moment to squint through the darkening light to make-out the black sharpie, reading allowed.

“‘Error 404, Costume Not Found.’ That does not count, Logan!” He laughed nonetheless, just as a deep bass filled the house. Apparently, the party had begun. He didn’t have a good argument for Virgil’s accusation, since he technically thought it very much did count, but arguing with the other was a waste of time. The two men were equally matched in the stubbornness department.  

The lights disappeared for a good few seconds before the house was illuminated in strobe lights, and the music’s volume exploded. Virgil laughed giddily; apparently his plan to get buzzed before the party could give him anxiety was intentional.

“They do, ya know.” 

Logan looked at him in confusion, and shouted over the roaring music. “What?”

“Your eyes! They do glow in the dark!”

“Shut up!” 

“You look like a glowstick!” He began to giggle wildly, leaning on Logan for support. 

“No more drinks for a good half hour, Virge,” Logan chided gently, replacing his solo cup with a water bottle from the table. Virgil whined but plucked out his vampire fangs so he could drink from the small spout easier. 

“Let’s dance,” Virgil said, grabbing Logan’s arm and leading him into the crowd.

---------------------------

Logan guessed it was well past midnight when Virgil tugged on his arm for the third time, leaning close to his ear and shouting that he had to go to the bathroom.

“Again?!” Logan called back at the vampire’s back. There was no malice in his words, not when he knew Virgil had been anxious to go to this party and he tended to drink more water when he was anxious. It was just all coming back for revenge now. 

To Logan’s delight, the excitement of the party had started to push out the event from earlier. His mood was no longer dampened by the let down of what he thought was meeting his soulmate, and he could finally enjoy the one event he allowed himself to go to this semester. School was important, but he allowed this for Virgil. He hadn’t expected himself to have a good time as well. 

It wasn’t even a minute after Virgil had left that there was a loud shout and Logan was jostled harshly to the side, the front of his shirt immediately soaking red from the cup of punch spilled on him. His own drink clattered to the floor.

“Shit, babe, I’m so sorry!” A man Logan didn’t recognize started to pat at his chest with a handful of tissues, an action that for some reason caused the smaller man to cringe.

“No worries. It was bound to happen eventually. Perhaps a white shirt wasn’t my smartest idea,” He responded sharply, taking the tissues from the other and dabbing himself off to the best of his abilities. Slightly relieved that he now had a valid reason, he ripped off his poor attempt at a costume and crumpled up the soaking wet paper in the hand not trying in vain to dry himself. Despite Logan obviously being uninterested, the taller man stayed where he was, watching Logan’s actions with fierce intensity. His lip curled as his eyes trailed down the now nearly see-through shirt.

“If you wanted, I could get that shirt off of you. Fool around, give it some time to dry?”

“I’m so flattered,” Logan deadpanned, “But no thanks.”

“Aw, too bad,” The man cooed, shrugging. His demeanor did a full one-eighty, his predatory gaze replaced with innocence, “Was worth a try. Let me at least get you a new drink, since I ruined your other one.”

“That’s not necessary-”

“I insist.” He laid a hand on Logan’s shoulder, causing a tingling cold to spread through his whole body. The smaller man barely contained a shudder as the man gave him another wolf like grin before disappearing into the crowd towards the drinks table.

Logan was hoping he’d forgotten, and just wouldn’t come back, but the man reappeared in moments, popping open a pink lemonade and handing it to him.

“Saw your other drink was non-alcoholic, so I got the only other one left.”

“Uhm…” Logan looked critically at the can, his alarm bells flaring. But… he’d seen the man open it, right? So it’s not as if he could have done something to it. Perhaps this guy really did have the right intentions, just an iffy way of showing them. “Thank you.” 

He took a sip as the man smiled with too much teeth. “So, are you here alone?”

“No,” Logan responded a little less coolly, “I’m here with a friend. He just went to the bathroom.” Another sip.

“Oh, that’s fun! Are you guys in the same year?”

“Yes. We are both fourth years.” The man was acting kinder, and Logan was starting to consider that perhaps their initial meeting had been a misunderstanding on his part. Maybe he had just wanted to help out, but Logan, being cynical as always, had assumed the worst. Wasn’t that just like him, though? Always so quick to conclusions, ruining good things before they have a chance to happen. Trying to chase away his annoyance with himself and the bitter taste it had left on his tongue, he took a longer swig of the can.

“Hey, me too! I’m an English major, what about you?”

“Business with an astronomy minor.”

“That sounds difficult. How many semester hours are you clocking at right now?”

“I… uhm…” And for the life of him, he couldn’t remember. It was a high number, he knew for sure. He shook his head. “Fifteen, sixteen? Maybe seventeen?”

The man whistled. “Damn, impressive. Remind me of your name, again?”

Had he told him in the first place? “Logan.”

“And what brings a studious man such as yourself to a party like this?”

“My- My friend.” Logan couldn’t help shake his head again, hoping the fog in his mind would scatter. That’s what he got, staying out this late when his sleep schedule was usually so precise. “He doesn’t like… parties. So he asked…” He blinked hard a couple times, finding himself swaying on his feet. “He asked me…”

“Hey, are you okay?” The man placed his hand on his arm in an ironclad grip, holding him steady, “Logan, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, I… Dizzy,” He murmured, reaching up blearily and grabbing onto him. 

“Are you dehydrated? Maybe you should drink some more.”

What were the symptoms of dehydration again? Dizziness, check. Fatigue, check. Confusion, check. Thirst? Yeah, he could drink something, but he’d been drinking all night, so why…

The can dropped from his hand, the second one tonight, and he tried weakly to pull away. Instead of letting him go, the man pulled him closer, wrapping an arm bruisingly tight around his waist. 

“You… you drugged-”

“You don’t look so good, Logan. Let’s get you upstairs so you can lie down, yeah?”

“No, I don’t…” He was unable to escape, barely able to keep his feet under him, as the man started dragging him to the stairs. Where the hell is Virgil? Logan could feel tears pricking his eyes as his breathing hitched, and for the first time in years, he felt real panic. This couldn’t be happening. This isn’t-

“Let him the fuck go!”

A voice distinctly not Virgil’s shouted over the music, and Logan didn’t even dare hope it’s directed at the man still clutching him. His luck would never be that good. But through his blurry vision, a pin striped blob with a mess of green hair breaks through the crowd, marching distinctly up to them. 

“He came here with me.” Logan could just make out the stronger man’s words through his dizzied state. “He just had a bit too much to drink. I’m going to let him lay down.”

“Like hell you are. Give him to me.” 

“How dare you-”

“Logan. Doesn’t. Drink. And I know who he came here with.” Remus snarled, edging towards the duo threateningly, “Now let go of him before I break your fucking jaw.”

With almost as much physical relief as emotional, the man finally released his painful hold on Logan and shoved his way through the crowd, the distant shouts of inconvenienced partygoers near the door the only signal that he’d completely left. 

For all his effort, Logan couldn’t hold himself up and collapsed. At first the feeling of strong arms picking him up bridal style caused him to panic and he lashed out, feebly hitting the chest of whoever was holding him. Realizing they were now walking up the stairs, the same place the other man had been pulling him, caused his breath to hitch in his throat.

“Woah there, Lo. You’re okay. It’s just me, it’s Remus, okay? Take a deep breath, just relax. I won’t hurt you.”

For some reason that Logan couldn’t fathom, the words calmed him down. Somewhere, Logan acknowledged that even though Virgil had known Remus for a while, Logan had only talked to him for a total of five minutes, and he probably shouldn’t trust an essential stranger when he’s like this. He’s just too tired to fight though, no matter how his adrenaline is pumping. 

“V’rg’l,” Logan whimpered, clutching Remus' shirt with all the strength of a wet leaf, “W’nt h’m.”

“I’ll get Virgil as soon as you’re safe, okay? Don’t worry,” Remus’ soothing voice rumbled through Logan from where he was pressed to the taller’s chest, making his eyelids flutter. His arms felt like over boiled pasta and his stomach was doing flips, but Remus’ voice broke through the fog he was in and settled him in a way he hadn’t felt before. Maybe it was the drugs.

“We’re at the top of the stairs now, okay? I’ll take you to my room, since it’s the only one with a lock. So we know there won’t be any horny college kids in there, making a mess of my sheets. Gotta unlock it without dropping you, hold on, and… A HAH! Got it. You want the light on or off?”

Logan couldn’t compute the question, much less make a choice. He made a sound that was slightly reminiscent of a stalled car engine, letting his head loll towards the lump that he assumed was a bed.

“Let’s compromise.” With all the care in the world, Logan was placed onto the sheets and gently rolled onto his side, a heavy comforter pulled up to his shoulders. Remus shifted away and a dim light flashed through his eyelids, enough to notice but definitely not enough to hurt his throbbing head. A table lamp, probably.

“No falling asleep on me, okay? You need to stay awake. I don’t know what that fucker gave you. I’m texting Virgil now, he’ll be here soon. Just keep your eyes open.”

Logan opened his eyes despite his overwhelming urge to sleep, and was immediately assaulted by a swirl of colors as the world tilted. An explosion of nausea tilted him forward and he pushed himself up on his elbows.

“‘m g’nna-” He didn’t have to finish his sentence before there was a plastic garbage can under his cheek and he heaved, throwing up the remnants of dinner and all he drank that evening. He didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed as he flopped back down onto his side, squeezing his eyes shut again.

“Oh, Logan,” Remus whispered. 

There was a pounding on the door and Logan didn’t even have the energy to flinch from the violent sound. Remus stood quickly and unlocked it, barely opening it before someone barreled into the room, the newcomer gasping for breath.

“What the fuck happened?!” Virgil screamed, dropping on his knees next to the bed, hand reaching up to lay on Logan’s cheek.

“He got roofied by some motherfucker I haven’t seen before. I caught him in the stairwell before anything happened.” Remus was still standing by the open door. The music was flowing in louder now, and Virgil’s raged shouting wasn’t helping his headache at all.

“I’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. I’ll fucking kill him!”

“Virgil, you’re real hot when you’re pissed, but calm the hell down. Yelling won’t help Logan.”

“You’re… shit, you’re right. Okay. I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“Watch him. Keep him on his side, bin’s to your left if he has to hurl again. I’m cutting this shit show.”

Logan finally cracked his eyes open as the door shut, Virgil leaning backwards to lock it. When he turned back and saw his friend’s eyes open, he almost wept.

“I’m so sorry Lo, I shouldn’t have asked you to come.”

“‘s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. I got distracted talking to someone, but I should have come back sooner. You could’ve… You could’ve been…”

“Not y’r fa’lt,” Logan mumbled, reaching over blindly to try and find Virgil’s hand. The other must have sensed his intentions and gripped onto the flailing limb, interlocking their fingers. 

“You better not be blaming yourself.”

Technically, he was. He should have been more careful, shouldn’t have taken a drink from a stranger, should have noticed something was off the moment his mind started to fade. Never in his life would he say that this kind of situation was the victim’s fault but… he couldn’t help it when it came to himself. He’d always been self critical that way. Bringing this up to Virgil would be a death wish, though, and an argument he certainly did not have the energy for right now. 

The music cut off downstairs and Logan sighed in relief, nearly smiling at Remus’ shout for everyone to get out of his house. For someone he’d met once, he was protective, that was for sure. 

Virgil didn’t force him to talk. They both just enjoyed the silence for a while, the only sound being the occasional shout from downstairs and Virgil’s sniffles. Logan couldn’t exactly blame him; he’d cry too if he had the brainpower. He didn’t though, which was the problem, so he allowed his hand to be held and allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of a thumb brushing over his knuckles.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Virgil reached over to unlock it, allowing Remus to walk back in. “Sorry that took so long. Wanted to double check that anyone using someone else as a crutch was black out drunk, not drugged. Here, sit him up.”

Virgil shifted so he was behind Logan and pulled him up against him, holding him steady as Remus lifted a glass of water to his lips. “You have to be thirsty. Do your best to keep this down, Lo.” Suddenly realizing how thirsty he actually was, Logan downed half the glass before Remus pulled it away. “Not so much, you’ll get sick.” There was a clink as the glass was placed on the bed side table. “We need to take him to the hospital. I don’t know how much whatever the fucker gave him.”

“I’m too drunk to drive,” Virgil said, gently lowering Logan back onto his side.

“I didn’t drink that much, but I’m not safe either. You got a friend who can take us?”

“Yeah,” The shorter mumbled as he shakily typed in his phone password, “I’m going to call Patton, just a second.” He moved to the furthest corner of the small room and the conversation faded into the background. At least Virgil was talking… that meant Patton picked up, right? 

“Shitty way to end a pretty spectacular holiday,” Remus stated as he sat back on his spot, letting a hand rest on Logan’s leg.

“‘m s’rry.” 

“Ah, shit, that’s not what I meant. I’m mad for you, not at you. Ya know,” As he spoke, he reached up and did something to his eyes, almost picking at them, “Halloween’s the only valid holiday in my book. Christmas is too overrated, Easter is senseless, Thanksgiving? No thanks, I don’t glorify genocide. But Halloween? I get to dress slutty or spooky or fucking ridiculous, and no one can give me two shits about it. I get to throw ragers and stab gourds into faces and buy discount candy until I’m fifty percent chocolate. I mean, I dyed my hair green for it, paid extra for the glow in the dark shit, and all I got were compliments.”

His hands had returned to his lap and he was fiddling with something. Logan tried to make out what it was, but it just looked like black plastic. Tiny, flexible pieces of black plastic. That Remus had pulled from his eyes.

They were colored contacts.

“I guess I do kind of blame Roman for getting me into Beetlejuice, but it is one of his least favorite musicals, so it’s also a bit of a ‘fuck you’ to him-”

“R’mus,” He breathed, and even that faint call was enough to snap Remus back to him. The taller man turned to him immediately, and Logan forgot how to breathe. 

Because his eyes were brown, and in the dim light of the single lamp, they absolutely shone. 

His eyes were the same brown as Logan’s hair, and Logan’s eyes became that offensive green around the same time as Remus dyed his for the costume, and that’s all the confirmation Logan needed to push himself up onto the hands and lunge forward to kiss him. The effort is strenuous and the lurch almost makes him heave again, but oh Lord, he just found his soulmate and it’s actually him and-

“Woah, woah woah woah. Hold on there, cowboy.” Remus gently pushes him back down before their lips can meet, “You are very drugged right now. I am not kissing you drugged. Sober, hell yes. But not like this.”

“Y’re my-”

“Soulmate. I know. I kind of figured when I saw your eyes. But I figured… I might as well get you to like me before I dropped that kind of bombshell. Although… I was hoping that would be accomplished by basic flirting, but then the party started getting out of hand, so I was always busy with-”

“Patton’s on his way,” Virgil spoke up, joining the two on the bed. “You okay, Lo?”

“He figured it out,” Remus said softly, letting a hand card through Logan’s hair. 

“I was wondering how long that would take.”

Logan gave a weak smile, his own fear and adrenaline starting wear off slightly. He was safe here, and he felt like he wasn’t going to be let out of sight for a while. 

“Drink some more water, wallflower,” Remus whispered, helping him sit up, “We’ll take care of you.” 

[tvdfan23]

Ugh it sucks so bad because we know Harry is a pro at skirting around interview questions and it's selfish to expect him to provide a detailed explanation of the meaning of this song but uuugghhh these theories by the fans are so good and I think this song could possibly have multiple meanings and whatever way you look at it, the whole song is upbeat music but such heartbreaking lyrics.