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simplyoriginalcharacters · 7 years

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((Thank you so much for the review on Kamon. I learned a lot from your critique. This character is from the same Universe, and I did feel that I wrote his story bad, like I made him too “edgy”. I did research, but I’m not sure if there is a word for a humanoid race that is dying out, so I apologize for that. He’s an older character of mine and he is the Foil to Viggo. I created this image on the Sims 4. Currently Viggo has black hair, and Aeron does as well.

Some warnings: Birthing camps, forced extermination of a race.

World/ Universe: In the world that my cousin and I made, these guys are villains. The universe is set in 2035, demons and aliens are on earth and everything is the same except earth is more green. Anyone else mentioned is from the same world too.

To help with understanding:

Shershen’: An alien race of giant hornet human hybrids. They’re dangerous.

Makarasan: Another alien race from Iyzurria. They are like spiders and the natural enemies of Shershen’.

N'Kairen: A race that was enslaved and abused by the Makarasans.

Dvorrah is a Shershen’ general who lives on Earth. He’s a good guy.

Also the name “Aeron” means “Hidden Beast” in the A'maranian language, and he sees it as a symbolic name. ))

Name: Aeron

Real Name: Solceya Dovess

Gender: He uses He/ Him pronouns.

Sexual Orientation: Somewhere between Asexual. He does not know at the moment.

Age: He is technically 40 years old, but he does not age anymore because of the extreme stress that was put under his body when he was younger.

Species: N'Kairen

Birthplace: Dlolva, Iyzurria

Occupation: He does rarely serve as Viggo’s stand in. He is “trying” to turn his life around.

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Affiliations: He is affiliated with Viggo, the Raznatovic siblings, and he is currently listed as one of the 25 intergalactic criminals that are running free.

Family: Subject 35- She was his mother. Because he was born in one of the experimentation sites, he never knew her real name. He can barely remember her face, but he can remember her scent which is his only memory of her.

Keaseva- Keaseva was his twin sibling. When the two of them came to earth, they were inseparable for a long while. He made sure that his twin was safe and they hunted together. Sadly an accident caused him to get injured so bad that Aaeron felt that there was no way for him to go on. Out of mercy he killed his sibling.

Best Friends: He does not have any best friends as of now because he is rather difficult to get along with.

He sees Viggo as his friend because he has never tried to hurt him or use his powers for illicit means.

Hilkuta: Hilkuta is actually the child of Emperor Heriotza. They are the complete opposite of their sister and parents. Aeron tolerates them and he is slowly learning how to get along with a Makarasan.

Relationship Status: Single

Significant Other: NA

Other Relationships: He has this strange obsession with Viggo Hwajae. It’s been described as someone who is obsessed with a perfect piece of art. In his own way, he sees Viggo as a source of power.

Height: Variable, but he’s seen as being 6'7

Weight: Variable, but normally he is 235lbs

Build: Variable, but he is Athletic like a swimmer.

Skin Tone: Variable, but he is commonly seen with a fair complexion.

Hair: Variable, but it is currently bleach blonde.

Eyes: His eyes are rather creepy because they have been described as being dead. He never blinks and he usually has this unending stare. His Irises are highlighter pink while his sclera are a faint red.

Identifying Marks: Because he is an N'Kairen, his sclera have a faint pink glow. He also has a slight reddish tint to his teeth. He also sometimes has horse hooves for feet.

Appearance: Aeron is a rather strange person. Nobody knows what his real appearance looks like and he keeps it a secret. As of now he looks identical to Viggo. He is 6'6, 240lbs. His eyes are usually highlighter pink, but he’s usually seen with red irises and light pink sclera. He is usually seen with a metal collar on his neck though, but there’s no explanation for this.

Like Viggo, He is of Korean heritage and like a normal A'maranian he has a tail with a hair tuft on it, sharp canines and the ability to fly. The only difference is that his nails are a bit longer than normal and they are sharper. He is sometimes seen with horse legs, a long tail, and sometimes he takes the form of a dragon because he feels that they are powerful. It has been rumored that his True form looks like a corrupted version of some sort of creature, but this is pure speculation.

Personality: Aeron has a strange personality because it’s almost like his personality is fake itself. A lot of people think that along with his true appearance, nobody knows how he really acts. In general, he’s kind of mean, and a bit of a jerk to lots of people, but he’s also he’s seen as being extremely introverted, angry, and scared at the same time. One thing that makes Him upset is that there are a lot of other alien races that don’t trust N'Kairens because of their shapeshifting ability and violent ways. He knows this, so he has been perfecting his shifting skills. He takes in the characteristics of whoever he has turned into, and it is difficult to understand who Aeron really is.

Although he won’t admit it, he is very loyal to those that he trusts, and his trust does not come easily. If he makes a friend, he cherishes them because he feels that they will not hurt him. He did have a friend who went against his back once, and in response he killed their whole family.

Motivations: Anger and Fear. He feels that scaring people will keep him safe.

Current Goal: He is trying to keep himself from being executed, and he is also trying to turn over a new leaf.

Life Goal: To be as perfect as Viggo Hwajae and he wants to destroy the Makarasan leader.

Motto: “You can never trust me”.

Best Quality: Determination. He sets his mind to things and he will carry them out no matter what happens.

Worst Quality: He is reckless. He sometimes gets so riled up that he gets hurt. If he has his mind set on something, he will risk life and limb to complete it.

Likes: Eating, Hurting people, reading, being alone, and listening to people talk

Dislikes: Makarasans, and anything that has to deal with them, Except for Hiylkutxa. They are the only Makarasan that he can stand.

Fears: Going back to the Makarasan planet. He would rather kill himself than go there.

Hobbies: Reading books that he finds, Stalking people, climbing trees, and learning more about a subject that he has found.

Talents: He is an extremely fast reader and for some strange reason, he can turn some of his body parts 360 degrees.

Skills: Over the years from hiding out, he has learned how to carefully map his surroundings. He is also fluent in 30 different languages because as a N'Kairen he is able to learn languages faster than normal.

IQ: 246

Abilities: He is an N'Kairen, so he was born with the ability to shape-shift/change his appearance. These powers are extremely strong, and he seemingly has no limit to this. He can shift to a smaller size and a larger size too. His smallest form was 3 feet tall, while his largest form was 10 feet tall. He can go past 10 feet and under 3 feet, but his stamina gets drained easily during this. His senses are enhanced, but smell is his strongest one. He can tell people are related by how they smell. He is also a quick thinker and he uses this to his advantage when he needs to.

Weapons: His weapons include his teeth, claws, tail, and anything that he can naturally create. He is proficient in sword use and he can actually use firearms pretty well.

Weaknesses: If he knows that he is losing or in a situation where he can’t escape, he gets reckless. Also, if he knows that he can’t win, he’ll give up and surrender. He once fought a guy for 5 days straight and he gave up when he knew that the guy was going easy on him. Also, Shifting into another form is painful. He does it so quick that he forgets that it happens, but shifting causes him to break bones and to grow different ones. In a fight his adrenaline causes him to ignore the pain, but usually it takes him 10 seconds to recover if he’s not focused.

Fighting Style: His fighting style is a mix of skills that he has learned over the years. It’s close and impersonal, but it’s unpredictable.

Secret: He feels that if Viggo died then he wouldn’t have a reason for living.

Influential Memory: Escaping the planet that he was on. Viggo’s mother risked her life to get some N'Kairens off of the planet that they were on.

Role Model: Viggo’s mother, Blue. She risked her life to help his people and he is indebted to that.

Crush: Unknown. He’s hostile to everyone.

Source of Embarrassment: His past. He admits that he did some horrible things to survive and they involved killing a lot of people.

Source of Pride: The fact that he can hide out and live on 20 different planets without being discovered. He just chooses to let himself be seen on earth.

History:

Aeron has had a rather difficult and hard life. He was born in a planet known as Iyzurria, where the dominant race known as Makarasans would experiment with his race’s shapeshifting abilities. At the time there was an extremely low rate of births and they were at war with the Shershen’ warriors, who were ruthless and ravenous. They were infamous in the galaxy and seen as menaces. Many Makarasans would capture the N'Kairens, force them to change into one of them and that’s how they preserved their race. They would also eat them. Aeron, who was called Solceya at the time, and his twin brother, Keaseva were born into one of the Makarasan birthing camps. At a young age they were taken from their mother and raised separately.

Aeron was a bit more confrontational than his brother, and he was a good fighter. They felt that he would fit nicely with the emperors family, so they sold him to the Makarasan Emperor’s daughter, Gaiatorix. She was infamous because she felt that it was her right to abuse N'Kairens. She liked that Aeron was reckless and she used this to her advantage. He was kept as her personal “attack dog” and his job was to attack anyone who fought back or refused to listen to her. His main job was keeping people of his race in line, which was a terrible job because he did not want to hurt his own people. At first he refused, but she had her ways of making him listen. On the Makarasan planet there were members of their race that were born without brains. They were known for being extremely savage and uncontrollable. She would put Aeron in a pit with five or more of them and she would make him fight until he was near death. She would also punish him by making him turn into races that were difficult for him to turn into. He was still a child and she would force him to turn into races or creatures that were bigger than he was. He gave in and he did what she said. Most of the time she wanted him to look like a Makarasan because it intimidated others. Working as Gaiatorix’s slave was torture. She didn’t care for him at all, and there were times where she would hurt him for no reason. During a day where she was feeling really special, she ordered him to beat Keaseva up. He refused, so she started to do it. He hated to see his brother suffering, so he gave in and he continued to beat him. Keaseva lost an eye to this, but he was still alive. Aeron was around 17 or 18 years old when Gaiatorix informed him representatives from a new Planet were arriving, and that they wanted to talk. She told him that he was to come with her because she needed someone to keep her safe. They met with the representatives who happened to be from a planet called Acrinco, and they were interesting. They looked humanoid, but something was different about them. Two of them were soldiers and brothers named Javia and Rovya, and they came with their superior, Commander Blue Veya. She was a pretty blonde woman and she had a distinctive scent about her, but she meant business. Aeron could tell that she was uncomfortable and that something was different about her. Gaiatorix and her grandfather, Emperor Aorpug hated her. Aeron had a feeling that something would happen and because he knew how Makarasans worked, he had to act fast. Gaiatorix was going to attack her, but Aeron stopped her. He attacked Gaiatorix, severing one her legs. She was so enraged that she killed the brothers and took Blue as her prisoner. She punished Aeron severely and she forced him to kill his own mother. She then chose to starve him for a long while. He didn’t see Blue for a while and he worried that she was killed or worse. It wasn’t until a week later that she was thrown into the cell that Aeron was in. He saw that she was beaten up, but she was fine. He was so hungry that he considered eating her, but he couldn’t place why he trusted her. She wasn’t afraid of him and she started to talk to him for a while. She explained that they came to learn more about Makarasans and they wanted to help them with their fight against the Shershen’, but she was learning that they might have made a mistake. She also explained to him that she was pregnant with a baby boy, and that for some reason the other Makarasans were creeped out by this fact. Gaiatorix was still upset, so she ordered Aeron to attack Blue. He refused over and over again, but Blue told him that it would be alright. He did as she said, but he made sure to not hurt her too bad because he was curious as to what was growing inside of her. Afterwards, he could tell that her health was failing, but she was strong. He talked to her and explained that he was sold to Gaiatorix years ago. He also told her that he had a brother. Blue told him that she had a plan, but she had to wait. Months passed, then there was a commotion that put all of the Makarasans into a panic. Apparently, Emperor Gorpua was murdered and Usurped by his son Heriotza, who was Gaiatorix’s father. She went on a rampage, attacked her brother and was exiled. Emperor Heriotza came out of exile himself, but unlike his father, he was scarily logical and cunning. He liked technology and he wanted to figure out a way to stop the Shershen’ without killing them. His first order of business was establishing relations with Acrinco. He ordered the release of the A'maranian prisoners, but Blue asked to speak to the new Emperor himself. He agreed, and she approached him with a proposition. Blue’s offer was that she would sell him her ship in return for Aeron and his brother. Heriotza was intrigued because he liked her ship, but he was more fascinated with her unborn child and who she was. His offer was that she would stay and give him her child in return for Aeron and his brother. Blue agreed and Aeron and Keaseva were sold to her. There was no reason as to why Heriotza wanted her, but Aeron didn’t want to find out. Blue was given quarters within the Emperor’s home and Aeron worked as her servant. Keaseva was there too, but he was afraid of his own brother. This hurt Aeron, so he chose to leave him alone. Blue was strange because for some reason, Heriotza really enjoyed her company. All they would do is talk. She told him stories and he listened to her constantly. Aeron started to notice that the Emperor was changing. Blue would suggest something and he would do it. Just by talking she got him to stop the abuse on the N'Kairen people. The other Makarasans followed suit and they ceased their activities. Within the year, Blue felt that she was ready to give birth, but she had no intention of giving her child to those monsters. She convinced Heriotza to let her contact more of her people. He agreed and soon more A'maranians came. They slowly started to take N'Kairens off of the planet until Aeron and Keaseva were left. She convinced him to give her ship back and soon Aeron and Keaseva were going back to the A'maranian planet. Acrinco was beautiful, but they couldn’t stay long. Blue got word that the Shershen’ were coming to Acrinco within the month and they were after N'Kairen. Aeron and Keaseva stayed with her for a bit on their planet. They took the forms of her soldiers who had died so that they could stay safe. They met her husband, who was a kind human man, and she eventually gave birth. He asked her about what she did and she told him that her powers were about persuasion. She could influence people with her words and speech-craft. She never used this power for cruel means, but she knew that she had to do something. He thanked her and they were safe for a bit. It was a hard decision to make, but she decided to send Aeron and his brother with some N'Kairens who were being sent to Earth. He agreed and they got into a ship that was bound for Earth. The Shershen’ arrived earlier than expected, and their forces were massive. As the ship was going to Earth, it was attacked and it crashed towards the blue planet. It crashed landed in a desert of some sort. He and his brother were the only two to survive and although it was difficult they managed to make a small home in the desert caves. Keaseva was starting to trust his brother again, and Aeron took it upon himself to protect them. Earth had a multitude of creatures that he liked to take the form of. He would watch others walk by and he would occasionally take the form of some of the humans. He changed himself into a human teenager and he would follow people around, learning more about them. He stole a few magazines from the store and he would bring them back to Keaseva, where they took turns turning into the animals that were in the book. Aeron was happy with this life and he was glad that he had his brother back. He apologized for what he had done and they forgave eachother. Things were going great until an accident happened. He and Keaseva took on the forms of Mountain Lions and they were prowling the hillsides for food until there was a noise that he had never heard before. Something hit his brother and he fell down the hillside. Aeron rushed to get him, but it was bad. Someone shot him in the chest and he was dying. He had no way to help him and Keaseva couldn’t change forms. Aeron tried to help by bandaging his wound, but it was no use. He was suffering. He told his brother that he was sorry and he killed him out of mercy. Aeron was enraged and alone. He had no one to talk to and he felt that it was his fault for allowing his brother to get hurt. That night he tracked down the hunters and he killed everyone that he was in the home. Any hunter that came near that side of the desert caves was immediately killed by some sort of creature that was living there and he became a legend. It had been five years since his brothers death and he couldn’t forgive himself, so he chose to change himself into one of the hunters that he had killed about a month ago. He made himself younger and changed his eye color so that he would look a bit different, but he left the desert. As he was traveling, he heard of a place that was known as the A'maranian embassy. He went there and he learned that A'maranians could travel home for a while. He wondered what was going on in the planet, so he found someone who was an A'maranian, killed them and took their place. Acrinco was like he remembered, but something was different. As he was there, he learned that the Shershen’ and the A'maranians were allies. He was appalled by this because he felt that the Shershen’ were the cause for everyone’s problems. He thought “Why could they be forgiven so easily for all of the trouble that they had caused?”. He did not realize that the person that he killed was the son of a diplomat, and that day his family was going to meet with the King and Queen. He pretended to be their son and he got dressed to meet with the royal family. He thought the party was alright and he left halfway through, but as he was there he saw someone that made his heart stop. The man that he saw looked just like Blue who had saved him years ago, but he was different. He had her hair and her features, and he was dressed in the Captains uniform, but it wasn’t her. He changed himself into one of the other party guests and he went to observe this man. This man had the same mannerisms and characteristics as Blue, and when he spoke to him, they spoke the same way. He introduced himself as Viggo, and Aeron realized from his scent that this was her son, but he became panicked because deep down, he felt that he treated her unfairly. He left the party that night and he wanted to fix things. He had it in his mind that he would kill Heriotza, but he knew that he couldn’t face him at the moment, he needed to be stronger. He decided to travel to different planets where he learned from different races. Violence was what he knew and he was frequently called “Monster” because of how he would attack people that he met. The strange thing was that he really enjoyed how Viggo looked so he committed these crimes while looking like him. He took on a couple of A'maranian hunters who were after him, but he was too tricky and dangerous for them to capture him. He went to 20 different planets before he decided to go back to Earth. He was there for a while, and he did kill two Shershen’ warriors by himself before Viggo caught him and brought him in for a trial. On Acrinco, Viggo learned that Aeron was actually a N'Kairen who was wanted on various planets. They wanted to execute him, but because he was part of race that was nearing extinction, they wanted to help him. Aeron felt that if it was his time to die then he would accept his fate, but Viggo had other plans. He asked for Aeron to be conscripted into his squadron of soldiers. Aeron objected and he threw a fit, but after realizing that Viggo reminded him of his mother, he reluctantly agreed. They have slowly been learning to trust each other, but Aeron refuses to show his real form and he insists on taking on Viggo’s appearance. Viggo suspects that because of what he’s been through, he is going through an identity crisis and due to trauma, he can’t take on his actual form. He told him that he was allowed to take his form, but only if he turned himself around. He has been trying. But occasionally he gets into trouble for eating people that threaten him and for trying to start fights with Dvorrah.

Hello Again!

What I like best about this world and your characters in it is that you have tied it all together and you really know each character, even the secondaries. You have a great grasp on this characters motivations, where he’s coming from and why he does what he does. Having said that, you know so much that when creating these profiles you’re leaving out parts that I need to know in order to proceed.

I have to say that my biggest issue with this profile is the organization. I continuously went back and forth between sections because things were mentioned before they were explained. For example, you mention his powers before explaining what they are. You mention his alien race but tell us nothing about what that means for several sections. You say his personality is weird because he takes on other people’s personalities, but then give us bits and pieces of what he’s like, and why, in the background. Just tell us, in his natural form, sitting with his brother, what would he be like? Sitting around with Viggo, if his guard was completely down, who is that person? If he’s being a jerk is it because he’s unaware of how his comments affect others, or is he trying to keep people at arm’s length?

I also have some general plot questions. How are the N’Kairen identified if they can continuously shape shift? If Aeron was born on a different planet how is he A’maranian, N’Kairen, and Korean all at once? Is A’maranian his specie, and the other two his races? How did these races come to get mixed together? Is this rare? How does his human part affect his other abilities? If the answer is that his human DNA has no affect on any of his abilities, I suggest you take it out. Right now it reads as a complete afterthought that goes unmentioned, so just don’t mention it. I’d also like you to consider how knowing Viggo’s mother before meeting the man sets expectations. Instead of being so reverent of Viggo, try having Aeron realize what’s disappointing about him. Where doesn’t he live up to the legend? What is so glaringly different from his mother that it’s irksome? Let Aeron compare them and see where either comes up wanting.

An IQ of 246 simply has to be taken out. You can make your character intelligent, conniving, and worthy of praise, but never set exact numbers. When you set a number that unrealistically high your character has to realize everything before any other character can possibly think of it, which means you have to write him as a character who knows what will happen 30 pages away and reacts accordingly. He’ll kill your story by fixing problems before they arise. You’ll have readers wondering how it could possibly take him 5 days to figure out his opponent was toying with him, how he hasn’t figured out who’s pulling strings behind the facade. All of that.

I think you already know that I’m going to tell you to cut down on your back stories. A lot. I want back story bullet points, not the entire story. Tell me that Aeron ties himself to Viggo because he was once imprisoned with his mother, who helped set Aeron free, not every detail of the escape and how it came to be. One of the reasons I suggest this when writing profiles is because there is no better way to slow down the pace of a book than to insert lengthy background exposition into the middle of an otherwise fast-paced book. Practice in profiles so that you’ll know how to dole it out in chunks through a novel so that we get to know the character bit by bit, leave us wanting to know more instead of overwhelming us.

I hope to see more of the characters from this world, so hopefully this review gives you some information help with Aeron specifically and will help streamline your profiles so I can do a better job of really diving into your world.

Happy Writing,

Shields

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #Backstory Help #General Help #submission

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myintervenenow-blog · 6 years

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Why Yoga has a key part in the recovery process

"Yoga is for everyone and at any time" Jacqui Sinclair, yoga teacher, explains Y12SR, a system that combines yogic and Twelve Step principles. One of the main tenets of yoga is the recognition that we start from where we are, in the present moment, and ‘practice’ from wherever that is on the spectrum of our experience. This inclusive philosophy prevents procrastination or excuses whilst we wait for optimum conditions based on pre-conceived ideas of readiness. Yoga is for everyone and at any time. After attending a charity fund raising event for a Focus 12, treatment centre local to me, I offered to run a weekly yoga class as a donation to the cause. Initially, attendance to the class was voluntary, but the affects were viewed positively enough for yoga to become integrated into the rehabilitation programme. With an interest in trauma and PTSD, in July 2013, I travelled from the UK to Richmond, Virginia to study with Nikki Myers in order to learn more about yoga and recovery via the Y12SR format. Addictive behaviours separate and disconnect us from ourselves and others Y12SR is a framework for addiction recovery that combines the twelve-step programme, the trauma healing approach of Somatic Experiencing and the body-based ‘entry points’ of awareness offered by yoga and mindfulness practices. It explores the combination of cognitive and somatic approaches in supporting changes in brain patterning (could do with some sources of research here). Y12SR seeks to combine cognitive work with physical yoga (asana) practice to consolidate and enhance the efficacy of each to support awareness, mindfulness and balance. Y12SR places a great emphasis on the need to look after the self in order to be able to serve others. Seva (service) is a strong tenet within all yoga practice which mirrors Step 12 of the Twelve Steps.

Addictive behaviours separate and disconnect us from ourselves and others. Conversely, yoga means union, integration and balance, within ourselves and with everything around us. Yoga practice teaches the art of integrating our multi-dimensional lives within the complex ever changing world we live in. Rather than separating and sub-dividing further into the specifics of what people have been or their specific addiction, Y12SR seeks to reflect the concept of yoga union and integration into the collective itself. A yoga class provides a non-judgemental and non-competitive environment. The class structure of Y12SR is unique as it is part meeting and part yoga practice. Following brief shares during the opening session of each class, movement and breath awareness within a mindfulness structure is explored. Through the usual parabolic energy of a flow-based class, students gain a greater understanding of how the cognitive process has a direct connection to the physical body in a stress response. Yoga emphasises the importance of acceptance with a starting point of ‘where we are’ and working from there on. The yoga practice is a basic slow Vinyasa (means to place in a meaningful way), with the sequencing of asanas (postures) designed to illicit responses that deepen awareness of key focal points and balance the central nervous system. This flow teaches the importance of constant vigilance with transitions; as the asanas are moved into the practice becomes a moving meditation rather than a series of individual end points. Through the practice, the fluctuation and waves of experience in expansion and contraction, ebb and flow, inhale and exhale, intensity and release, left and right, strength and flexibility, dynamic and restorative, attraction and aversion, and the individual and a Higher Power are explored to find a perfect point of balance through an awareness of a perpetual present moment. Yoga practice also serves to facilitate a greater understanding of gratitude, self-awareness, and stress and anxiety control The physical benefits of yoga practice are wide ranging. Improvements in strength are well documented, as are increased flexibility. Yoga also improves cardio vascular fitness, and can elevate mood. Yoga practice also serves to facilitate a greater understanding of gratitude, self-awareness, and stress and anxiety control. Yoga enhances relaxation which enables students to rest and re-charge helping participants to maximise their gains from co-existing therapeutic interventions and meetings. Poor sleep is common in early recovery and is a known risk factor to relapse. The accentuated depth of relaxation students experience in yoga practice improves sleep quality. Poor sleep is common in early recovery and is a known risk factor to relapse. The accentuated depth of relaxation students experience in yoga practice improves sleep quality. Yoga emphasises the importance of acceptance with a starting point of ‘where we are’ and working from there on. Through yoga practice and breath awareness, the ability to control the stress response and inclination to react to feelings of discomfort is explored, felt and developed by combining inner and outer peace. Each practice provides a reminder to the student to let go of any expectation of the practice or of yourself, and instead, set the intention to engage with present moment fully in order to feel the ebb and flow of the sequence and of the breath. This increases an individual’s ability to hone control of the self through breath and the depth of awareness which allows the urge to seek control of anything else to fall away. Your biography becomes your biology – and a body distorted by stress houses a mind whose perception becomes distorted by stress. In this aspect, yoga is the felt experience of the serenity prayer in action. You cognitively understand It you somatically feel it, and through the breath and connection to a Higher Power, you experience that knowing. With enough repetition, it becomes easier to incorporate this into your daily lives and your interactions with everyone and everything around us. The influence of the stress response is part of Y12SR. The effects on posture and longer term anatomical changes often lead to biochemical inefficiencies in the body, pain and discomfort. Much of the tension in the body is as a result of stress or allostatic load (alongside somatic storing of trauma). This can be released and reversed through greater awareness and understanding of the underlying links and with regular mindfulness practice. Your biography becomes your biology – and a body distorted by stress houses a mind whose perception becomes distorted by stress. For more information about Y12SR, go to: www.Y12SR.com. For Jacqui Sinclair’s work: www.yogaattheboilerhouse.com Read the full article

#Addiction #AlternativeTherapy #Excercise #Fitness #Holistic #HolisticTherapy #lifestyle #personalexperience #Recovery #RecoveryExperience #relapseprevention #wellbeing #Yoga

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boblananas · 7 years

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ROLES OF THE FILM PRODUCTION TEAM

The Director is the person responsible in leading the actors in a movie set. The director works directly with the performances of the actors and has control over the film’s overall creative look and composition. The director can also be compared with an author of a book novel because he/she leads the primary vision and direction of the film. Furthermore, the director not only leads the performance of the actors, but also plays a large role in casting the actors who would be most suitable to play every character in the film; in setting appropriate locations; in revising the script according to the overall direction of the film; and in editing the final video while considering consistencies in tone throughout the film. In addition, among all film making crews apart from the actors, the director also represents the crew by answering interview questions about the film. However, although the director serves as the center of film production, the director’s work is linked with other staffs and is being supported by other people who help get the job done in producing a good film.

The Producer is hired by an executive producer who is usually the financer of the whole production. The producer is the person in-charge of managing the entire production of the film from start to finish. The producer organizes the entire production and ensures that everything is made correctly and the film making goes smoothly. Producers run the logistics for the whole production which includes ensuring that the script progresses and finances are properly managed throughout the production. This means that the filmmaking process is handled by the producer who makes sure that the production is working on schedule and within the prescribed budget. Apart from managing administrative tasks, producers are also in-charge of final distribution plans for the film. This means that without the producer, films cannot be made. The number producers in a film depends on the scale of production; but even though there may be more than one producers, each producer has his/her own field of expertise wherein one may be in charge of crew selection, another in managing the finances etc.

The Writer can be distinguished from the screen writer or script writer by identifying the purpose of the written piece. Specifically, the writer, as opposed to the script writer, writes the story and not the script itself. In definition, the story can be defined as “an account of imaginary or real events” as referring to both fiction and factual stories. The writer writes the story by following and including the elements of a story, like plot, characters, setting etc. Story plots may also include sub-plots and may be organized using chapters. The story that writers are supposed to write should be able to illicit by itself, the imagination of the readers. On the contrary, a script has to be understood as “the written text of a play, film, or broadcast” and by itself, plays only a small part in the creation of the media. In relation to film making, several films were based or were adapted from novels and the writer of these novels were included as part of the film’s acknowledgement. Some writers who had their novels turned into famous films are J.K. Rowling for the Harry Potter series; Mario Puzo for The Godfather; Stephenie Meyer for the Twilight series; J.R.R. Tolkien for the Lord of the Rings series, and many more.

The Art Director who works in conjuncture the director in bringing out the setting of the film. The art director also works with other people on the art department such as the production designer, the set designer, the props master and others who work at the setting, landscape, the background and any props needed for the film. Specifically, the art director is responsible for designing and constructing the film’s set and assist the production designer in constructing the overall look and feel of the movie using the set. Sometimes, the art director is in-charge of bringing out the brand look of the film being made to make it look and feel different from the rest of film pieces. In relation to this, the art director must be able to create a unique film set as envisioned by the director of the film while considering other elements as well.

The Director of photography is also known as the cinematographer or simply the DP. The director of photographydirector of photography is in-charge of the overall visual look of the film as captured by the camera. This means that the director of photography is also responsible for a lot of technical things related to the manipulation of camera, including lighting, camera movements etc. to capture the film’s mood, look and feel as instructed by the director. The director of photography also has the say of what camera and lenses to use for every shot and they provide input on camera angles and framing as well. The choice of camera and camera system during the production depends entirely on the style of work being done on a particular film. Apart from this, as mentioned earlier, the director of photography is responsible for all lighting decisions and light quality including elements such as the shape, intensity, position and color of the lights. However, the work of the director of photography depends entirely on leading of the director, who is the center of the film production.

The Script writer for whether a film, commercial, or documentary film is the person responsible for writing the script in the entire movie. The main role of the script writer is to carefully craft the lines or dialogues, even the narration in the entire film. This is the main difference of the script writer to the writer or the story writer – writing specifically for the film being produced. This means that the script writer is basically in-charge of the film’s storyline, including the transition of scenes, the climax of the story, the character creation, the setting of the scene’s mood and basically everything that deals with every story element specifically in the film that is being created. The script writer works in close coordination with the entire film crew, especially the director. Although the director leads the creation of the film, the script writer creates the storyline that best fits with the direction that the director is leading the team. The script writer must also ensure that every line comes out naturally considering the personality of the character, the setting where dialogues will be said. As mentioned earlier, screen writing is also a type of storytelling applied in the format of screenplays. It is distinguished from a story that writers write in a sense that script writers write in a way that could make lines natural as possible. This means that the script is solely used for the lines and narrations in the screenplay. It also does not act alone in bringing out the film’s overall tone, mood and feel as films also consider other elements performed by other film crews like the setting, the costume, the makeup of the actors etc.

The Cameraman or otherwise known as the camera operator is the one who physically controls and operates the camera. In smaller productions, the director of photography as defined earlier, also acts as the cameraman. But in larger productions, several camera operators may be hired. The cameraman works under the director of photography in filming the shots and in camera movements. Besides operating the camera, other tasks are given to other roles like the camera assistant, who loads and unloads film rolls in the camera. The camera assistant also helps set up and build the camera on set and of course take care of the cameras’ lenses by cleaning them regularly. But as mentioned earlier, for smaller productions, cameramen may also be in-charged of doing these.

The Editor is the one who is responsible for organizing the scenes and footages of the scenes after each sequence. The editor arranges individual shots to make a continuous sequence of shots, which eventually serves as the film itself. During film making, of course, several shots should be made if necessary to get the perfect shot for a particular scene. Therefore, it is the role of the editor to choose which particular shot from a dozen of shots should be chosen. Although it is not primarily the editor who does this, but the editor helps the film crew in, not only selecting the perfect shot, but in arranging these chosen shots cohesively in hundreds of feet of film rolls. The role of the editor is very crucial because the editor’s choice of shots and how well the editor places them has a profound effect on the overall appearance of the final film or movie.

Maquilleur is the French term for makeup artist. In a film production, the makeup artist creates the look of the actors in consideration with several elements. The maquilleur or the makeup artist must consider the final look according to the director’s desires. Apart from the instruction of the director, the maquilleur must also consider the time period of the film, the setting and the sequence of the film being captured. There are times when, for example, the actor got cut in the previous scene, the makeup artist should also consider putting wound effects on the actor in consideration to the previous scene. Apart from these, the maquilleur also considers the characterization of the role being played. If needed and depending on the film, a separate makeup artist may specifically create the special effect makeups of the actors and actresses. Effects done with makeup may include blood and gore effects, aging effects and other prosthetics depending entirely on the above mentioned elements.

Regisseur is also referred to as the assistant director in a film production. Contrary to the title given to an assistant director, his/her role in the film set is not related with directing the performances. In some instances, however, the assistant director helps the director in cuing background characters to compliment the main performance of the actors. Nevertheless, the role of the assistant director is to break down the script and manage the schedules of shootings. Basically, the assistant director manages the day-to-day administrative tasks of the production. Aside from shooting schedule, the assistant director also helps manage the scheduling of the actors, crew, and the equipment needed for the shoot on a particular day. The assistant director keeps the production on track by managing the everyday production schedule and assisting the director in cuing the background characters in a movie set.

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sciunisonfitness-blog · 7 years

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SUF Tough Table Fitness Podcast

Why Is Natural Bodybuilding So Appealing?

Over the many years, bodybuilding has advanced tremendously however it's generally understood that there are two foremost factions or philosophies of the approach to life; pure bodybuilding and pharmaceutical bodybuilding. Around the time drug use entered the sporting arena, the strains between the two had been more blurred and it wasn't particularly easy to spot an enhanced athlete. Right this moment however, the road between the 2 can be more clearly outlined. Those who take the chemical different have perfected the dosage combination's to develop muscular tissues that far exceed even essentially the most gifted of natural lifters. Just watching a pure bodybuilding present and evaluating the contestants to it is skilled counterpart, it is simple to view them as utterly different sports, which they are surely.

All bodybuilding associations promote natural bodybuilding, but it's seldom practiced by the world's top bodybuilders. The truth is, none of those at the peak of competitive bodybuilding are pure bodybuilders. The IFBB Mr. Olympia, thought of by many to be the greatest bodybuilding title in the world, is a superb example of pharmaceutical bodybuilding. In aggressive bodybuilding, it appears that evidently successful has every little thing to do with how you play the game. Prescription drugs comparable to diuretics, development hormone, beta-blockers, insulin, EPO, amphetamines, steroids and numerous other doping substances are the rule, not the exception. One factor that's usually ignored is the injury that can outcome from utilizing these substances.

Natural bodybuilding is an art and a science. The target is to create a body that is lovely to behold, resilient, strong, sleek, versatile, lean and highly purposeful. Natural bodybuilding represents a positive life-giving phenomenon. It is a form of training that creates and preserves type, perform and health. Pure bodybuilding uses exercise, dietary dietary supplements and a healthy diet to enhance immune operate and improve resistance to degenerative disease. With every repetition, cells are flushed with life-giving oxygen and micro-nutrients. Waste is removed effectively and rapidly. When practiced accurately, it does not destroy or eliminate. It adds much more than symmetry and quality muscle, but offers you benefits past what might be seen with the bare eye.

Pure bodybuilding represents the truest factor of bodybuilding by requiring a clean life-style which promotes the achievement of optimum health. Optimum health gives us the opportunity and perception to define our goals and the motivation required to attain them. As soon as really effectively, we are capable of adapt to alter and stress with out important injury. A wholesome individual is nicely-nourished and bodily match in and out.

Those that carry weights or use their own physique as resistance to attain any degree of muscle tone, energy or power are engaged in "building" their body. This practice has numerous names - body-shaping, body-sculpting, resistance training, weight-lifting, weight coaching or working-out. No matter you call it, in the event you pump iron you're bodybuilding to some degree. Competition level bodybuilders simply take the identical course of of training and weight-reduction plan to an extreme stage.

Pure bodybuilding avoids any chemical substances or toxic substances. Natural athletes keep away from banned substances for 2 reasons. First, the principles of pure bodybuilding clearly state that they don't seem to be permitted and second, crossing the pharmaceutical line reduces well being, and well being is what pure bodybuilding is all about. Therefore the damaging use of performance enhancing drugs is deemed unacceptable.

The thought of natural bodybuilding is to take your genetic potential to the maximum using supplements, training and prime quality food. Health isn't compromised for aesthetic value; somewhat aesthetics are altered in response to managed train performed faithfully and all the time progressively. This creates a natural trigger and impact, facilitated by means of both onerous and good work and fixed vigilance. Organic bodybuilding gives us with the opportunity to challenge ourselves, outperform ourselves and demonstrate our potential. It's not about trying higher than anyone else. The approach to life encourages wellness and provides a reliable means of extending health span.

Natural bodybuilding precision is a method that is positive to maximize muscle achieve in the shortest doable time. Some pure bodybuilders even see the results of steroid customers by paying very close attention to their coaching precision. If you're a natural bodybuilder, and wish large results, now could be the time to start out taking note of the phrase precision.

In pure bodybuilding, there leaves very little room for training error. Pure training with precision is crucial for important muscle achievement. Let's face it, a steroid induced bodybuilder is granted a larger margin of error in coaching, and nutrition. Steroids assist bodybuilders in recovering quicker, and might assist longer, extra intense bodybuilding coaching classes. This allows bodybuilders the liberty to coach and eat with less precision, and still reap improbable muscle improvement. Nonetheless, pure bodybuilding athletes should pay very shut attention to element to be able to profit from great muscle constructing outcomes. Witnessing excellent bodybuilding outcomes may be the distinction between performing too many coaching sets, and not sufficient depth.

You almost certainly ask how one can determine in case your pure bodybuilding routine is precisely what it ought to be in order to achieve large, steroid-free results. Are you understanding with the precise quantity of coaching sets per physique part? How concerning the reps, or relaxation days between workouts? Is your coaching intensity important sufficient to illicit a pure bodybuilding response?

There may be a simple solution to discover out! If you be taught just one thing from this pure bodybuilding article, please let this next tip be it. To find out in case your training program is the most effective pure bodybuilding routine, pay shut consideration to detail by recording, and tracking your bodybuilding exercises.

Being a drug free bodybuilder, and realizing what your numbers are always, is being an intelligent bodybuilder. Are you able to think about not monitoring your checking account stability? What a silly question! Not carefully tracking your bodybuilding progress is considered just as silly. Moreover overtraining, lack of tracking your progress is the biggest mistake fellow bodybuilders are making.

How are you going to prepare with maximum effort and effectivity to enhance your musculature if you don't know really where your numbers are? Keep in mind, growing pure muscle is far more difficult, but a way of precision is gained once you track your progress. With out bodybuilding workout precision, it is like driving a car in a strange place blindfolded.

The outcomes of monitoring can assist your pure bodybuilding efforts by making the whole story visible. Tracking will help decide if the quantity of relaxation days between exercises are optimal or not. In case your energy is enhancing with every exercise, you might be getting the exact amount of relaxation needed for optimum growth. If it's not, your rest days should not optimal. Subsequently, monitoring can direct your muscle building workouts into a precise science.

As quickly as your natural bodybuilding log reveals a couple of training periods that show no good points or decreasing strength, you're most certainly overtraining. Coaching greater than is critical is the worst enemy for any pure bodybuilder. Simply bear in mind, your physique will not be capable to get better from the coaching stress as rapidly as a steroid induced bodybuilder can. Subsequently, if you attempt to duplicate a steroid aided coaching program, you may be dead in the water. Your natural muscle constructing results will certainly endure. As soon as again, focusing on a particular program for you, and also you solely, is a key level to recollect. Contemplate your training log the important thing to all the data essential for significant pure bodybuilding good points.

Take a closer take a look at your coaching log. Should you discover you've got achieved 10 reps on a selected train for 2 consecutive workouts, you must focus your thoughts on pumping out the eleventh reps throughout the subsequent training session. This particular knowledge, if adopted, will direct and focus your pure bodybuilding routine into precisely what is critical for development.

This valuable data may also serve as an awesome motivator for attaining your specific objectives. I name it training smart. If you already know precisely what numbers are wanted to perform your purpose through the next workout, you are more likely to obtain it, thus, overloading your system with a purpose to develop rock onerous muscle. Take, as an illustration, a retail store. If they don't observe how much money they made yesterday, how will they stay targeted on what they need to beat as we speak?

Previous to getting into the gym, profitable natural bodybuilders make point of drawing up a mental picture of what must be achieved so as to obtain their purpose. By maintaining a pure bodybuilding training log, you too will have a license to shortly construct muscle.

Another glorious tip to achieving natural bodybuilding results is listening to the timing of your nutrients. As soon as once more, it is crucial for a pure bodybuilder to pay close attention to what is taking place on the nutrition facet of the pure bodybuilding puzzle. Analysis suggests you will need to eat carbs, and protein within one hour following a hello-intensity, natural bodybuilding workout. This specific bodybuilding diet routine will assist stimulate the muscle constructing recovery course of. Natural bodybuilding buffs also have to pay close attention to the amount of calories they are taking in. Just as coaching, I also recommend tracking your diet regimen.

As you now know, natural bodybuilding results are simply seen if you happen to concentrate on exact training. By coaching good you'll reap all the benefits of bodybuilding with out steroid uncomfortable side effects. Simply observe my suggestions stated above, and your training will be guaranteed to be the simplest, efficient natural bodybuilding system doable.

Pure bodybuilding workouts are getting loads of consideration currently. That is mainly due to all monsters you see on bodybuilding exhibits lately. Just for searching for natural muscle constructing exercises, you're actually being very smart. So give yourself a round of applause and a pat on the back (but not on the same time).

The rationale I am praising you, is that you just perceive that you must comply with pure muscle constructing exercises. Not exercises done by pro bodybuilders. Who're most likely taking performance enhancing medicine, have elite genetics and recovering potential.

I'm going to offer you some pointers to observe to your natural muscle building workouts and the way they need to be structured. So with out further ado, lets get right down to business.

Keep Your Pure Bodybuilding Exercises Below 1 Hour

A bodybuilding workout (or any weight lifting) puts a number of stress in your body and may be very metabolically demanding. Across the hour mark of your natural bodybuilding exercise, a hormone referred to as cortisol is released. When this happens your physique begins to burn muscle for energy. I think you will agree that's not what you need when trying to build muscle. Moreover, if your exercises are lasting longer than an hour, you are in all probability not working exhausting sufficient.

Workout Your Legs

For the love of god, please exercise your legs, I can not stress this sufficient. Yeah I know you simply need massive weapons and a 34DD chest. However do you know that working your legs gives you bigger muscle groups everywhere else? Yea that is right.

This is due to hormones mainly; Testosterone is released and elevated when you work plenty of muscle. But the only muscular tissues in your higher body that elevates counting macros testosterone, is the again. Subsequently if you're doing chest and biceps all the time, you might be lacking out on a complete host of testosterone.

The entire level pure bodybuilding exercises is to get essentially the most out of your coaching for the pure trainee. Keep in mind, work the legs; the entire physique will develop.

Taper Your Quantity To Match Your Frequency

This is form of related to the earlier tip, but deserves its personal section as it'll make it easier to pack on muscle mass. The worst factor a pure trainee can do is do to a lot to typically. There may be nothing wrong with you wanting bigger weapons and other 'mirror muscle mass'. However your natural bodybuilding workouts should slot in with a whole bodybuilding routine.

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megamanishashekhawat-blog · 7 years

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black magic vashikaran specialist aghori baba ji

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tube-thoughts-blog · 7 years

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tube thoughts vol. 7

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

Rifftrax presents "Cool As Ice" --1991-- *Snow aka Justin Bieber gives Bella Swan goosebumps and crotch-rocket road rash.* 3 stars with riffing or running from zero to 1 star without

"Dumb and Dumber To" ---2014--- *Sloppy seconds.* 2 stars

VH1 --sneak peak-- "Suave Says" --2014-- *A "thrilling" inside look into the post music career, current evangelical motivational speaking venture, and wealthy domestic drama of a one hit wonder pop star from wayback in 1991. Gerardo aka Rico Suave.* 1/2 a star

"That's My Boy" (2012) *Topics like underage student and teacher sexual relationships and incest are dealt with maturely by Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, and Vanilla Ice. Of course not, but this isn't even creatively controversial or riotously raunchy in any remarkable way. It's just another formulaic Adam Sandler movie that hits all the same notes as usual.* either zero stars or 1 star

The Tom Green Show -Rogers Community Tv- -The Comedy Network- (1998) *Bemused, pertubed, fumed. These are just a few of the reactions Tom illicits from anyone not in on the joke.* 2 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of Laughing in the Dark *"Pick the right door, and you'll go free. Pick the wrong door, and there he'll be." He being a cigar puffing, nightmarish, funhouse clown.* 3 stars

"Housebound" ---2014--- *"An active mind in an inactive environment." The Brits make a superbly spooky mystery with dry and subtle humor.* 3 stars

"Chonda Pierce On Her Soapbox" (1999) *Folksy entertainment variety and jubilee from a real life Peggy Hill.* 1 star

Buckmasters -Young Bucks- "The Misadventures of Bubba" (1992) *Near fatal hunting accidents hilarity with a Jim Varney caricature.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

"Dancing Outlaw, Jesco White" (1991) & Jesco Goes to Hollywood (1994) *''Sorrow, hatred, and madness. '' "If you wanna get to heaven, you got to raise a little hell."* Heaven for Jesco is dancing at Elvis' star on the Hollywood walk of fame and guest starring on Roseanne or huffing fumes.* 3 stars

Fargo: The Crocodile's Dilemma *"What's the policy? See, I'm sort of a student of institutions." Billy Bob Thornton can play indifferent malice like no other.* 3 stars

15 Storeys High: The Sofa *Lord Snooty's couch, club card, co-opting of other people's conundrums, and crisis 'cause he can't stand to be cuddled.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

12:01 Beyond-- Christmas Special 2014 -------------------------------

*World Friendship Society - Please Just Go (music video)* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Le Passage (movie trailer): More badass than Home Alone and Rambo.* 3 stars

*Lobo for the charity "Socks for Tots" gently used socks for children at Christmas at the North Pole. Lonely odd socks for lonely odd kids.* 2 1/2 stars

*Ninja, the Mission Force: "Clam chowder can only mean a ninja challenge."* 2 1/2 stars

*Lobo argues the Holiday Blues with his potted plant, Ms. Mittens.* between 2 & 2 1/2 *

*Fleischer Studios - Superman - The Arctic Giant: A kaiju nearly destroys Metropolis and swallows Lois whole.* 3 stars

*Treevenge: sentient x-mas trees turn the tables on crass Christmas celebrations and begin tearing the merry folk to shreds.* 3 stars

*Lobo fills holiday stockings full of leftover Halloween Candy.* 2 1/2 stars

*Lobo meets Ro-Man the Robot Monster from the 1950s B sci fi movie, at the north pole, and suggests he kidnap Santa Claus.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*Reverse Pharmacology: Incredibly hilarious imagined symptoms of a placebo taken by medical test subjects under lab conditions.* close to 3 stars

*Pueblo Sleep Solutions presents 'The Bedtime Bruiser' (commercial)* 2 1/2 stars

*Don't Open Till Christmas (movie): Scotland Yard is on the case of serial slayings of Santas.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

*Lobo gets an 8 track player for X Mas* 2 stars

*The Lobo (DC Comics character, not the guy from the 12:01 skits) Paramilitary Christmas Special: The Easter Bunny hires the meanest bounty hunter in the galaxy to hunt down and take out the fat man and his elves.* 3 stars

*Sleigh Runner: The Communist tradition of Christmas is put to an end by a Eastern European Rob Zombie lookalike cowboy killer.* 2 1/2 stars

*Happy Holidays to all the fans of the New Mission Impossible (tv series).* 3 stars

*"This Christmas forget milk and cookies. He wants blood." TWo Front Teeth (low budget movie trailer). The elves in this flick look pretty nightmarish and the characters, especially the black cowboy, look interesting. Interest peaked.* 3 stars

*Republic Pictures Serial -The Crimson Ghost- Chapter 3- The Fatal Sacrifice: The Crimson Ghost's hideous high wire act.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*The metal band HEMI perform the song Dust to Dust live in a club.* close to 3 stars

*Neon Harbor presents Space Ninja the animated movie: A cyber dystopia mixed with feudal Japan. technology and swordplay eyecandy-gorgeous must see for me.* 3 stars

*Ro-Man mistakenly beheads Santa for Lobo who claims no responsibility for the death of the mythical character.* 2 1/2 stars

*Action International Home Pictures presents the "Gruesome Holiday shocker." "Elves" starring Grizzly Adams (retro movie trailer)* 3 stars

*Vinegar Syndrome presents on Blu Ray "You Better Watch Out" aka "Christmas Evil": And they've added a beautifully twisted painted portrait of the movie's tragic hero on the box art.* 3 stars

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tales from the Crypt: The Ventriloquist's Dummy *Pathetic weirdo and hack ventriloquist comedian Bobcat Goldthwait's idol Don Rickles isn't really a retired, bitter legend of ventriloquism. He's actually a prisoner of his own responsibility to keep his beautiful-woman-hating, conjoined twin freak brother from ever killing again.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Deadline ----------

*Writing obituaries does seem like the typically morbid Summer job that a Springwood teenager would have.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*Springwood, where suicidal teenagers wish they were dead so that they can be reunited with their ghost bff(s) and douchebag, ponytailed dreamlovers.* 2 stars

---------------------------------------------

Red Shoe Diaries: Safe Sex *A smooth talker brings a sad, vulnerable business professional lady in out of the rain, and she still makes him wear a raincoat in bed. So, so, softcore stories sent in to a personal ad's post office box and then picked up and retold by shadowy anywhere North America David Duchovny character, which is nice trimming for the show, but damn is the sensitive lite soul torch singing background music awful. I prefer a cheesy, solo saxophone over this -Lifetime For Women lyrics- boner killing tripe.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Brian De Palma's "The Black Dahlia" (2006) *I'm a sucker for Los Angeles noir settings, slaughtered pretty girls like Laura Palmer, and conspiracy art like Alan Moore's From Hell.* 2 1/2 stars

Transparent: season 1 -episode 1 *Three self absorbed siblings can't see past themeselves enough to be aware of their father for what he truly is and themselves for what they might actually be. The conservative side of me wants to say that this is more of liberal Hollywood's agenda to undermine traditional America by saying everyone secretly wants and would be happier with an alternative lifestyle. Also, I can't remember the last time I saw so many aesthetically interesting (not exploitive or trying too hard to be sexy) glimpses of comfortable nudity.* 3 stars

Weird Science: Cyrano DeBraniac *"The savage game of sexual attraction" requires all of one's synapses to be firing and it doesn't hurt to have a time and space manipulating genie, who's also sexy, to unzip Einstein's undead brain out of the fourth dimension.* 2 1/2 stars

Thundarr the Barbarian: Den of the Sleeping Demon *A pair of clumsy junior adventurers, and their huge bird friend, help rebury a genetic research monstrosity that was given a high voltage reawakening.* 3 stars

--- Swamp Thing: The Dark Side of the Mirror

*Everyone in this town is so stupid and easily manipulated that Arcane could have probably just walked up to the new determined district attorney, at dinner in a fancy restaurant, and shot him in the head, instead of genetically mutating the musclebound moronic deputy into a Swamp Thing double assassin.

The town formed an extremely enraged mob, in a matter of minutes, and even the longest running protagonist human characteron the show (Jim's mom) is willing to throw her morals aside for blind vengeance.

Thank goodness Jim's brother Will, the new female lead Kari Wuhrer, and Swamp Thing are decent characters.

I'm glad for the upgrade from Jim to Will. Will is a better character and it gives the show more of an adult cast and less of a Timmy fell down the well and needs to be saved, each week, routine.

Still, some of the acting is low quality from the extras.

Feels like they used the stunt man from the fight scenes to do the lines, to save money, when it would have been better to switch him out for a real actor.*

between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

--------------------------------------------------

Paranormal State: season 1 -episode 17 *A wild goose chase for the legendary Mothman. The leader of PRS probably doesn't realize how much he comes off like X Files' Fox Mulder as he keeps repeating the phrase "I want to believe."* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Kolchak, the Night Stalker: The Sentry *"Don't linger in the shadows." It will "rile the bile" about lizard-men living deep within the earth where corporations and shadowy government organizations are storing their darkest secrets. The most daring reporter,ever, of tabloid monster mysteries makes his last (documented) stand down there.* 3 stars

"Room 237" (2012) *"The past doesn't exist." But film historians, and fans, are still dissecting the ghost of Stanley Kubrick and the symbolic filmic events surrounding the almost mythical Overlook Hotel.* 3 stars

Lucio Fulci's "Conquest" (1983) *Cro-Magnon man was ruled by a cruel dominatrix / naked lady performance artist / new-age goddess, along with her band of fanatical furries. That is until Ronnie James Dio & Luke Skywalker changed things. Conquest establishes itself apart from other low budget and dumb sword & sorcery flicks, of the early 1980s, with its dreamlike aesthetic and gore-crazy practical special fx.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Begotten" (1990) *Imagine a super 8mm National Geographic hallucination of twitching, early 20th century mental patients being tortured and abused in the ruins of a 19th century pastoral southern gothic wasteland lurked over by pre-modern-civilization tribal sacrificial rites that are even more hellish and nightmarish than actual pagan practices predating contemporary times. Black mold on the walls of farmhouses with sun peeled paint and holes in the tin roof where the sound of dripping rain and viscus is constant on rusting metal surfaces that lie just beyond open rock quarries crawled over by lepers, in rags, dragging shaved and mutilated Christ-like figures who spew black stigmata from their weeping eyes and mouths.* 3 stars

Squidbillies: Taint Misbehavin' *A dying Dan Halen requires the citizens of Dougal County to join him in the paradise of the afterlife. Granny and Early get giddy because they mistakenly believe they're going to a resort town in Tennessee, when they're actually heading for the ancient Egyptian land of the dead.* 2 1/2 stars

Workaholics -2015 Season- --preview trailer-- *Some Comedy Central money went into a 2 minute parody of the new Mad Max movie, popular crime tv shows like Sons of Anarchy, strippers, bullet porn fx, and "cool" explosions.* close to 2 1/2 stars (for the misguided effort)

Hannibal: Apéritif *The mongoose meets the cobra.* 3 stars

Jonny Quest: The House of the Seven Gargoyles *An icy fate for an acrobatic dwarf creeping around a castle posing as a gothic statue and trying to choke his unsuspecting victims.* 3 stars

Dr. Who (4th Doctor - Tom Baker): The Android Invasion *A Benedict Arnold astronaut returns from being lost in space, now brainwashed by aliens carrying a shipment of human replicants and a deadly virus.* 3 stars

Farscape: Jeremiah Crichton *Crichton becomes a castaway on green planet inhabited by a tribal, and somewhat peaceful people, although there is some jealousy when the daughter of the chief becomes smitten with Crichton. After spending part of a cycle looking for Crichton, Rigel and Dargo find him all scruffy and weather beaten. In a Return of the Jedi C3PO twist, Rigel is the tribe's prophesized messiah and the three must save these exiled, forced by forcefield to be primitive people, or else be sacrificed themselves due to stupid politics and a conspiracy of priestly hierarchy.* 3 stars

Bob & Margaret: For Pete's Sake *Bob's brother is a pretentious tv chef, and when he gets a gig in India, Bob and Margaret have to look after his two annoying brats.* 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Dark Music *The power to control demonic forces, living in the root cellar, lies in the sounds on the radio. A tired of being picked on paperboy uses this knowledge to payback the scummy metal-head bully next door and his mean, little sister.* 3 stars

"The Initiation of Sarah" (1978) *This feels like a hazy 70s tv movie version of Carrie the college years. Two sisters pledge and go through the occult like Greek sorrority ceremonies. The good looking one gets picked by Morgan Fairchild's meangirl sisters and has to be cruel to the other. The timid one has her telepathic powers exploited by a witch wannabe Shelly Winters in the rival plain Jane house complete with a maze backyard.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

---Thrashin'--- (1987) *Square jawed Josh Brolin is too straight laced to be taken seriously by skatepunks in the 80s L.A. skatescene. The leader of a gang of Lost Boys also wants Brolin to stay away from his out of town and just visiting, Idaho pretty tomato younger sister. It hits all the right notes for an 80s extreme sports fun adventure flick.* 2 1/2 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Fitting Punishment *A cheapskate ghetto mortician is willing to cut corners no matter the cost to human decency. He embalms using dirty tap water. He buys cheap coffins from China. He clips out the gold and silver teeth of the deceased. He even blames his orphaned nephew for being a financial burden and cripples him, then sells his Air Jordans to pay medical expenses. When that's not enough, he murders him and saws him a foot shorter above the ankles so that he can stuff the boy into a cheap coffin for Chinamen.* 3 stars

Hill Street Blues: Film At Eleven *Llama stolen from the zoo and almost used in a slumland apartment voodoo ceremony. Cops style film crew documenting the precinct. Herman Dracula, alledged wannabe vampire. It's funny until he commits suicide in his private cell. Ballistics confirms that they've found the handgun used in the near fatal shooting of officers Renko & Hill. Relief comes with uncertainty. It's raining in the police station, the roof is leaking and everyone is getting the flu because of it. This show can't help but end on a melancholy note due to all the lingering emotions. Rollercoaster, as usual.* 3 stars

Tru Tv- --South Beach Tow-- --Bernice's Top 20-- *"Best of" countdown of fake reality show beatdowns by an angry black woman?* 1 star

Botched: Vagina Bomb! *The same network (E!) that encourages viewers to idolize trainwreck celebrities and their fake bodies, also exploits sick individuals who've butchered their own bodies in order to achieve that phony Hollywood dream. Of course this show is under the guise of "fixing" plastic surgery mistakes, but the client/patient usually receives even more body enhancements and still looks like a nightmare.* either zero stars or 2 stars

True Detective: The Long Bright Dark *Heathen homicide in a hick shit-haven where if one doesn't parrot the standard beliefs of others, and oddly speaks in a stream of consciousness like Cormac McCarthy, then one's peers tilt their heads and cock their ears like a confused dog in misunderstanding and disbelief.* 3 stars

---- New Year's Movie Marathon ---------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Time Runner (1992) *Spoilers, for The Force Awakens, ahead. Be Warned. Years after Return of the Jedi, Luke is having a midlife crisis and skynet is using star destroyers to blow up Los Angeles. So he travels back in time to the Washington Canadian border getting in ugly rental car chases with human looking alien Rae Dawn Chong and gunning down well armed baddies, along side the goofy deputy from Twin Peaks, & watching their hilarious death throes. All while making sure Senator Palpatine can't prevent Seth Rogen and James Franco from nuking North Korea thirty years in the future. Make sense?* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: 12 To The Moon ---plus--- "Dream to Design" -short- *The woman of the future visits the satellite of love and turns the robots crow and tom servo into kitschy househould appliances. meanwhile, the united nations of nasa proves earth's worthiness to the lunar neighbors.* 2 1/2 stars with riffing and between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without

Terry Gilliam's "Brazil" *A depressed Da Vinci with his wings clipped by the dulled scissors that society can no longer cut all the red tape with.* 3 stars

Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" *In my life of relative ease, I watch this movie on my cheap consumer electronics provided for me by workers in horrible third world conditions.* 3 stars

"Starry Eyes" (2014) *Ambition. Attrition. Ascension. All the way from Hooters Girl who can't get taken seriously at low-grade movie auditions to transforming into a Hollywood harlot comes at the price of one's soul taken by the Satanists who run the movie industry and helped sanctified with blood and betraying those closest also climbing the ladder.* close to 3 stars

"Messiah of Evil" (1973) *What if, after Thanksgiving, America honored the Donner Party Massacre by having Black Friday be masses of mad people tearing into raw red meat at supermarkets? This flick is like the eerie calm before an apocalypse. Too weird, almost, to describe, and if one tried to, a bug would appear on their tongue and they would cough up insects and lizards.* 3 stars

"Strange Days" (1995) *"Memories were meant to be forgotten. They were designed that way." Let old acquaintance as well. 20 year old predictions about the new century, by James Cameron, are still pretty relevant. Questions about the abuse of police force. Urban upheaval and riots. Voyeurism being a social media (though it's not as seedy as it's imagined in this movie).Things James Cameron got a little off are plenty too. Musicians stopped being, for the most part, political messengers. Trainwreck skank rock queens like Courtney Love aren't nearly as talented as James thinks or as worth going through hell over, but they're still a huge part of the media's obsession. Found footage and virtual reality may just be entertainment fantasy, but the themes in this movie are played out daily on actual viral videos.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max Headroom: Academy *What if corporations had their own legal systems? What if a death penalty trial was turned into a tv game show? Viewers of the HLN network sort of get to experience this. What if criminal profiles were assigned to innocent people who fit a certain stereotype? Wait a minute....* 3 stars

Joe R. Lansdale's "Cold In July" (2014) *A considerate and well adjusted family man has to stand his ground, on shaky legs, but isn't in the overzealous camp of his hometown neighbors who wanna pat him on the back for it. He never feels right about the incident and his remorse pulls him into a world of Dixie mafia killings, Texas Mexico border crime, and a friendship with a flamboyant and dogged private detective and the deeply burdened man who mistakenly stalked the family man's family when he was wrongly convinced the family man slayed his son in the stand your ground incident. In a bizarre twist, the three men come together to help the deeply burdened man solve his burden of putting down his wayward son who's making snuff films with hookers. It reminds me a lot of William Devane's "Rolling Thunder," another revenge flick with a lot of bitter sorrow and dark themes.* 3 stars

The Tom Green Show -Rogers Community Tv- --The Comedy Network-- (1998) *Tom is an absurdist comedian who can sometimes be traditionally clever in his humor. He drinks purple koolaid with a cult who worship an alien version of Jesus Christ's brother, he ruins an Elvis impersonator street performance and almost gets his ass kicked for it, and he continues to try to prove he's the biggest idiot in the room.* close to 2 1/2 stars

The Prisoner: The Schizoid Man *The Village have number 6 convinced he's twice the man he was using an uncanny double.* 3 stars

Game of Thrones: season 3 episode 7 *"People work together when it suits them, they're loyal when it suits 'em, they love when it suits 'em, and they kill when it suits them."* 3 stars

"Under the Skin" (2013) *Scarlet Joe Handsome is an enticing alien, in a black wig and brightly painted lips, driving around Scotland, in a pedo van, indifferently observing all the quiet, everyday human suffering and luring horny, confused men back to her abandoned building / nest / spaceship(?) --where they step sinking into a surreal black pool of liquid.* either 1/2 a star or 2 stars

American Horror Story- -Coven -The Replacements *Sober Santeria. What other show is going to have a pothead, white trash mom molest her patchwork monster, back from the morgue, college boy son? or let a juicy and morbidly obese black virgin finger herself in front of a minotaur? not many spring to mind.* 3 stars

Gargoyles: The Edge *Zanatos uses the steel clan and a Tony Stark type tech gargoyle suit to frame the real gargoyles for the museum heist of 'the eye of Odin,' in order to have the cops chasing them all around town and scare them into coming back under the wings of his 'protection,' which would have the gargoyles inprisoned in a research lab.* 3 stars

Rifftrax - Total Riff Off - Man vs. Monster *"Meeting the channel's factual quota, we now return to the bullshit." Rifftrax skewers another one of those pretentious explorer douchebags, from National Geographic Wild, that are always trying to turn a simple creature of nature into a tall tale monster.* 3 stars with riffing 1 star without

Son of the Beach: With Sex You Get Eggroll *satire of sex slaves and sex jokes, both smartly done.* 3 stars

Carman -Yo Kidz! -The Vidz *Gnarly Jesus dudes, hip musical kids, and cumbersome cat costumes.* 1 star

Morton Downey Jr.: Cults *A man who once had a cult-like tv audience examines mind control organizations and self-help pseudo-religions.* close to 3 stars

Mel Brooks in "High Anxiety" *Side-splitting neuroses.* 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Korman's Kalamity *A cartoonist's monstrous creations come to life after years of nagging from an abusive spouse and his recent forced use of an experiment male potency medication.* 2 1/2 stars

"Al-TV" -April Fools Day 1984 *"I could just watch videos all day until my brain turned to mush. Couldn't you?" Weird Al takes over MTV from its bland video disc jockeys and turns the channel into the absurdity it should be.* 3 stars

"Traxx" (1998) *"Be good, be gone, or be dead." Shadoe Stevens is one tough cookie as he parodies every 80s action hero vigilante and western cowboy cliche come to clean up a Troma version of a Texas town in one of the weirdest, left field comedies ever.* 3 stars

Hippies: Protesting Hippies *Simon Pegg tries to spark a Y2K revival of the comedic rebelliousness of The Young Ones with a Britcom That 60s Show.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Northern Exposure: Pilot Episode *A "Jew, New York doctor" finds unspoiled land, wildlife, hell... even people (patients) "just waiting to be fondled" in middle-of-nowhere, Alaska.* 3 stars

X Files: Space *Otherworldy phantom sabotaging shuttle missions. A study on how stifled and subdued the space program has become.* 2 1/2 stars

"Freaks, Nerds, and Weirdos" -MTV (1994) *MTV NEWS looks at Generation X's social outcasts like nerdy hipster college kids, quirky celebrities, and alternative musicians and they talk about their struggles with being different from "the norm." Ironically, the show is framed with commercials featuring beautiful skin care and fashion model young people bragging about how great it is to be one of the in group of the beautiful ones.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Myth of the American Sleepover" (2010) *The last bittersweet days of Summer and the pre-conceived notion of sublimity for a group of suburban teenagers. Indie movies about the adolescent rite of passage to adulthood aren't as fun as exploitation flicks about the same thing, but the delicate and thoughtful manner in which the subject matter is approached allows for more personal reflection for the viewer.* close to 3 stars

Turner Classic Movies: Beneath the Planet of the Apes *Twice as bleak of an ending as the first.* 3 stars

--- "Bates Motel" (1987)

*After spending his youth in the looney bin with Norman Bates as his father figure, Bud Court (Harold & Maude), and a great casting choice, inherits the Bates Motel from the deceased Norman whom he carries around in an urn afterwards.

With the help of a spunky squatter (Lori Petty) and a Morgan Freeman esque handyman, he reopens the falling apart eyesore and deals with the rumors of the place being haunted and the fast moving yuppies of the 80s who wanna exploit the property to keep with the changing and advancing landscape of the times.

Tonally a weird mixture of maudlin and mockingly humorous. Whoda thunk they could take a legacy of a Hitchcock suspense thriller and throw in one those feel good fixing up the place montages, a Happy Days 1950s teen ghosts dance party with a dreamlover angel Jason Bateman, and Scooby Doo villain plot twist?*

either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------------------------------

"An Evening With Bobcat Goldthwait, Share The Warmth" (1987) *Bobcat chugs two six-packs of TAB and then proceeds to frighten uncomfortable laughter out of a group of yuppies in a nightclub.* 2 1/2 stars

"Beyond Vaudeville" (1986-90s) *Best of a weird NYC public access variety show with guests and acts like Grandpa Munster, Tiny Tim, "the Edith Bunker of massage," climbing Harpo's ladder with Wavy Gravy, Burt Reynold's fantasy Turkish woman (possible delusional stalker), Greg Brady, the arm and the giant from Twin Peaks, the theme from the Flying Nun on spoons, Rock Around the Clock in Yiddish, an Underdog / Dracula enthusiast / interpretive dancer, and many other pathetic bizarre folk. Sammy Davis who?* 3 stars

Morton Downey Jr.: Central Park Squatters *A heated shouting match between freaks and fascists over the issue of gentrification.* 3 stars

"Scoundrels" (1982) a Cecil Howard adult film *"Life's too fucking short." Ron Jeremy is the long dick, long suffering dad, just like Kevin Spacey, in a sexually frustrated slice of American Pie.* 3 stars

American Horror Story -Murder House- "Rubber Man" *"What is it about being dead that makes me so horny?" Hysterical lady troubles.* close to 3 stars

"The Guest" (2014) *A psychotic super-soldier gone awol and come to roost with the troubled family of a fallen comrade. Pulses like an homage to 80s action movies in the vein of John Carpenter.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Justified: season 1 episode 1 *Bluegrass Helter Skelter.* 3 stars

Chrisley Knows Best: The Great Outdoors *Chrisley reluctantly takes his sons camping at the lake, while wishing he were more like his hero Oprah and scaring his 8 year old with the legend of Jason Vorhees.* 2 stars

Comic Book Men: Ghostbusting at the Stash *Sitting around ye ole podcast table and sharing spooky stories about things like the Jersey Devil.* 1 star

"The White Buffalo" (1977) *Charging out of Hell and into Heaven were men like Wild Bill, Crazy Horse, and Charles Bronson.* 3 stars

Kung Fu, the series: Dark Angel *Words lost, eyes blinded, and riches not found, but, at the same time, roots replanted, senses regained, and faith restored.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Invasion U.S.A. (feature) & A Date with the Family (short) *Rigid dinners with loved ones, or heavy drinking with a group of barflies, is a great opportunity to discuss how every American should do more in their part to combat the Red Menace.* 3 stars with riffing 1 star without

"My Mom's A Werewolf" (1988) *An underappreciated housewife goes to the pet store to get a flea collar for the family dog, and winds up having the mom jeans charmed off of her, and replaced with fur, by a hair-piece wearing lycanthrope (John Saxon).* 2 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Black Tickets ------------------

*A young Brad Pitt runs over himself running into himself running away from his problems.* 2 stars

*Having a baby is hellish, even if Brad Pitt is the daddy.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

---------------------------------------------------

USA Up All Night -with host Rhonda Shear -Valentine's Special -----------------

*Lovers Lovers (feature movie): Neurotic & horny 30 something year old professionals in the city of Angels. It's like a softcore version of Seinfeld.* 2 stars

*Starburst California Raisins style commercial where the Starburst candies get taken to the bad side of town called Twisted Town.* 2 1/2 stars

*The Girls of Paradise (phone sex commercial): 3 stars

*Rhonda hangs out in the honeymoon suite with a amorous bell boy who has chest hairs a plenty.* 3 stars

*Twix commercial parodies the plane crash movie "Alive" in a funny scenario where one guy tricks the other into thinking they're being rescued so that he can have both Twix candy bars to himself.* 3 stars

*Rhonda tries to get a honeymooning and arguing couple's bride out of her hotel room bathroom.* 2 1/2 stars

*Free brochure for TV Parental Ratings guidelines* 3 stars

*"Mel" (taking his name from a PayDay caramel candy bar wrapper) calls up a phone sex hotline to talk to the horny chick about covering her in peanuts and creamy caramel in a funny PayDay commercial.* 3 stars

*"Every day people like me and you are proving why the 'Psychic Solution' is so popular." Obvious payed employees of this phone scam network give false testimonials about their amazing experiences talking to phone psychics.* either zero or 3 stars

*"Imagine being forced to make love. Now, imagine thousands will die if you dont. Will she? Won't she? Or will she just kick some ass?!" La Femme Nikita preview for an upcoming 1997 episode. Haha.* 3 stars

*Rhonda coaches sweet talk to a dumb husband who gets all her amorous advice lines all wrong.* 3 stars

------------------------------------------------------------------

Weird Science: Magnifico Dad *Mom gets her birthday wish for dad to turn into male supermodel hunk Fabio.* 3 stars

Son of the Beach: Silence of the Clams *"The beach is meant for solitude, not senseless orgying. Cancel Spring Break or else."* 3 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Fortress of Fear *A many eyed wizard wants Ariel as his bride.* 3 stars

Swamp Thing: Silent Screams *"Eye of the hurricane, listen to yourself turn. World serves its own needs, Dummy, serve your own needs." Arcane is selling eco-terrorism to the highest bidder. First in line to be served, shadowy agents of the U.S. government, and they're willing to sacrifice a small, swamp town to test the effectiveness.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Jonny Quest: The Invisible Monster *Turn off the life light, don't let it shine or else be taken in by the hungering Pac-Man esque ghost of an animated mass of energy. Look out, because it's a one-eyed, giant, purple, people-eater.* 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Super Specs *Do "They Live" or is it just an April Fool's Day trick of the mind thanks to a phony trick gifts shop's surprisingly effective super specs glasses?* close to 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: Shadow Boxer *A bum fighter uses cursed gloves to separate his dark side from his body and sends the shadow out to stick it to his opponents.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 episode 18 *Penn State freshman lions turn themselves into fraidy cats with the passing around of campus legends and the playing of an ancient Japanese ghost story game called '100 Candles.'* 2 stars

Penny Dreadful: season 1 episode 1 *For a moment, I thought Frankenstein and his monster were going to passionately kiss on the mouth. It was weird.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: season 1 episode 6 *"He eats disease. He likes to be scratched behind the ears. He's horrible, beautiful." 3 stars

The Outer Limits: If These Walls Could Talk *CGI Ryan Reynolds. He's not Green Lantern. He's possibly a 'Casper' or at the very least a molecular anomaly. His mom can't let go of the mystery around his disappearance and his frequenting of a so-called haunted house. She's a paranormal believer. She swears she hears him crying out in the haunted house. She befriends a pyschic phenomena debunker. They get drunk, share their hearbreak over the afterlife or lack thereof. They stir up spirits or at least a cold case crime scene. They learn about the mystery behind a previous owner who was a reclusive scientist and find his hidden room complete with strange meteor. It ends with them covered in ectoplasmic goo.* 2 1/2 stars

"Father Guido Sarducci Goes to College" (1985) *Vatican City versus Disneyland.* 2 1/2 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Mute Witness to Murder *Some enchanted evening, you may meet a stranger. And some enchanted evening, you may witness a brutal murder. That enchanted evening may damage the psyche.* 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: Double Dare *Necessity is the mother of virtue. A business professional lady needs the thrill of an erotic game of show and tell via fax machine dirty messages and flashes of bare flesh across facing office building windows with a sexy stranger, but she can't take it to the next step and cheat on her husband in person.* 2 1/2 stars

"Computer Beach Party" *Weirdly played, and ridiculously overdubbed, dorky sex comedy that maybe comes close to deserving cult status.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

Total Riff Off: Animals Behaving Badly *Horny deer. Smoking ape. Rascally raccoon. Pooping cheetah. Shoe humping tortoise. Horny dolphin. Indian woman breastfeeding a calf. Chicago city coyote. rat infanticide, and the classic panda attacking jacket guy.* 3 stars with riffing between 2 and 2 1/2 stars without

"RoadRacers" (1994) a Robert Rodriguez film *David Arquette as a scumbag greaser, James Dean wannabe with Salma Hayek as his main squeeze. Sounds unconvincing, but somehow they pull it off. Also, great tunes from the era of rockabilly, decent villains like the town asshole cop William Sadler, and Deadwood's Saul Starr as the sci fi and sinful thrills obsessed sidekick.* 2 1/2 stars

Richard Linklater's "Boyhood" (2014) *Maybe the best ever use of scripted reality in dramatic entertainment. Following two siblings for over a decade as we watch them grow and deal with their movie parents a psychology student-into-teacher mother (Patricia Arquette) and their sometimes deadbeat other times often extremely caring and liberal-slacker poet papa (Ethan Hawke), along with step siblings, abusive drunk stepfathers, plus all the growing pains and life steps that happen along the way to young adulthood.* 3 stars (for achievement in the portayal of life) or zero stars (for every character being so unlikeable)

--Starz-- --The Missing: episode 1 *A wrenching, quiet, and moody look at the frantic hours around parents dealing with the disappearance of a child and how the effects of that trauma are still haunting them, and others involved with the memory, years later.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Damned If You Don't *Dang ole' tornado of the soul.* 3 stars

"Din of Celestial Birds" (2006) *inherent iniquities* 2 1/2 stars

True Detective: Seeing Things *Pussy, fantasy, illusion, delusion, hallucination, justification, nightmare, and revelation.* 3 stars

X Files: Fallen Angel *Toxic cover up and lies with an official seal.* 2 1/2 stars

"Night Dreams" (1981) xxx *Bound by wild desire, Dorothy LeMay fell into a ring of fire.* 3 stars

--- MTV's True Life: I'm Preparing for the End of the World

*An obese, and (from how he's presented on this docu show) low i.q. suffering, young father moves his pregnant wife, two young boys, and yummy pet rabbits & chickens to an isolated farm in the mountains.

There he rambles about doomsday scenarios and his family assists in setting up booby traps that are more dangerous to themselves than anyone else.

My advice is to lay off the extra bunny, at dinner, and to not homeschool the kids about the proper way to filter goat piss into a drinkable water alternative, but instead to exercise as a family and to get out in society and work towards not ending up with an apocalypse.

Next, we have two priviledged college twins who are so quirky and idiotic that they jokingly form a two person cult where they bother college campus students and the city's homeless population with their pretend rhetoric.

Low point being when they claim to be getting prepared to raise their consciousness beyond the normal soulless zombie, just before tossing a twenty dollar bill into the air for a group of hungry homeless and junkies to wrestle over.*

1 star

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Morton Downey Jr.: Feminism *Mort and feminist lawyer Gloria Allred go toe to toe and almost mouth to mouth with the sexual tension between them (just kidding).* close to 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Television Terror *A t.v. station scores big ratings, when Morton Downey Jr. is murdered, live on the air, while investigating a haunted house.* 3 stars

"Too Young To Die?" (1990) *A trailer trash teen runaway (Juliette Lewis) gets the death penalty for the murder of her soldier guy former lover, thanks to her hick pimp/pusher (Brad Pitt).* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story -Asylum- "The Coat Hanger" *Forgiving trespasses. Ian McShane almost seems too good for any show after his iconic role in Deadwood, but he finds one here as a blackly humorous and blasphemous sinner/killer in a setting that keeps getting more depraved and strange. Bucket of KFC chicken and skinning victims alive killer mixed piece joke. Priest drowning at a baptism. Priest crucifiction. The dirty history of pre legalized abortions. Cruel head nun gets on the other end of looney torture. A Nazi butcher / mad scientist seeking aliens because he appreciates their eugenic techniques and getting sent his own Mary with a possible alien seed in her belly.* 3 stars

Hannibal: Amuse-Bouche *"It takes one to know one." A human fungus wants understanding.* 3 stars

Bob and Margaret: Friends for Dinner *"Another domestic dilemma." Bob and Margaret continue to define themselves different from their rude peers, while still retaining a flawed quality that makes them so relatable to the average person.* close to 3 stars

15 Storeys High: The Model *"If she learns to swim, next thing she'll want to learn to drive." A nutter doesn't want his nude centerfold wife to take swimming lessons. Olives on pizza distaste, and a compulsion to pull any wallpaper off the wall -weirdness. Also, the swimming lessons oath includes everyone but practioners of karate and the pop star Sting.* 3 stars

Hippies: Hairy Hippies *The animals of Aquarius are gonna tear your prick off.* 3 stars

Farscape: Durka Returns *"The difference between a knife attack and life saving surgery." The outer space adjustment bureau can turn anyone they want into an attitude corrected slave.* 3 stars

Max Headroom: Deities *When it comes to matters of the spirit, people often forget what it means being human.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Captured Souls *Sometime in the early 90s, the Obamas and their daughter nearly had the life sucked out of them by a mirror-spy-tech mad-science-geezer posing as an ole timey tween boy with a ridiculous hairstyle that was almost as bad as Obama's soul glow mullet of the time.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

American Horror Story --Coven-- "Fearful Pranks Ensue" *supreme sacrifice* close to 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: You Have The Right To Remain Silent *A lady cop kidnaps and forces herself on a strong willed guy who won't show her any attention at the gym. I would have laughed if it were a case of her not having any gay-dar.* close to 2 1/2 stars and 1 1/2 a stars for the safe sex sales pitch

Hill Street Blues: Choice Cut *supermarket standoff with a side of beef.* 2 1/2 stars

Fargo: The Rooster Prince *"Savagery, pure and simple."* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow "Orphans" *The most sympathetic character on the show, Pepper, has a continuation of maybe the most tragic character arc of any character in all of American Horror Story, with a cameo from a character from Asylum.* close to 3 stars

MTV's "Eye Candy" extended peak *Disney channel(?) teen pop idol and now hacker (rolls eyes) in a serial killer stalker show with MTV style "edgy" (crap) aesthetics. The psycho stuffing smartphones in the mouths of victims is unintentionally ludicrous and laughable.* 1 1/2 stars

"Living With Michael Jackson" *"We would wake at dawn and go up in the hot air balloon. I have the footage. It's all very charming and innocent. That's ignorant. Who's the Jack the Ripper in the Room?" Was it exploitive journalist Martin Bashir or delusional Peter Pan wannabe Jacko?* either 3 stars or zero stars

Prime Time Thursday -ABC- Martin Bashir on his Michael Jackson documentary (2003?) *ABC gets a few more nasty kicks in to the wounded weirdo.* 2 stars

The Michael Jackson Interview, The Footage You Were Never Meant To See *--FOX--* (2003)

*"Becareful what you do, because the lie becomes the truth."

Maury Povich pauses from hosting & revealing ghetto / white trash paternity tests to take an investigative behind the scenes footage look at the Martin Bashir documentary on MJ.

An almost propaganda piece trying to repair Jackson's image and justify his strange behavior, but it does shine a light on the deceitful approach of Bashir's manipulative tactics in getting close to Jackson via gaining his trust with comments approving of Michael's generosity and attitudes towards children and Michael's personal life in other ways, and then turning around and only showing the most sensational things in his "Living With Michael Jackson" documentary.*

2 1/2 stars

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The Greatest American Hero: pilot episode "UFO Encounter" *The teachers of troubled teens, those are the real heroes. This show has great music, and I don't just mean the cheesy wonderful theme song.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: I Accuse My Parents (feature) & The Truck Farmer (short) *Cultivate, refrigerate, exaggerate, denigrate.* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 2 stars without

Son of the Beach: In The G-Hetto *"Read my lips, I'm going down there and I'm going to lick your posse, and I'm going to enjoy it."* 2 1/2 stars

Black Sails: season 1 episode 1 *Blackbeard's snatch. Captain Flint's fluoride smile. Long John Silver's sexy good looks. I doubt these third world bandits were really this stylized.* 2 1/2 stars

Fred Olen Ray's "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" (1988) *Heaven for guys who like big tits and Hell for guys who don't like to be chopped into little bits.* 3 stars

Hollywood Hillbillies: Headin' For Hollywood *Another internet infamous sensation extends he and his grandmother's 15 minutes of fame by acting as crass and crazy as possible for the reality tv cameras.* 1 star

TLC presents My Husband's Not Gay *These Latter Day Saint women believe that they have it made, because, with another woman, their husband would never stray. I wonder if the LGBT community would stand up for the rights of the "same sex attracted" who don't act on it for religious reasons, or if... ha... of coure not.* either zero or 2 1/2 stars

"Monster" (2003) *A look at someone, on the fringes of life, whose feral impulses sadly couldn't be justified even though she endured a life of inhuman treatment.* 3 stars

Viper: Pilot Movie *Not just a tv show promoting a crime fighting futuristic Dodge motor company concept car, maybe also a question of whether giving career criminals a clean slate of memory is violating their civil rights or not.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

"Midnight Plowboy" xxx (1971) *Welcome To The Jungle as performed by Going To The Country's Canned Heat.* 2 stars

Woops!: pilot episode (1992) *99.999999% of the world's population has died in a fiery hot flash, but a few quirky yuppies survive to yuck it up on a small farm. Cue the laugh track.* 2 stars

X Files: Eve *bloodthirsty replicas* 3 stars

"Nomads" (1986) *Searching too deep beneath the surface of reality, a cultural archaeologist starts being stalked by a skid row spirit-tribe.* close to 3 stars

Manimal: Manimal *Transmutation is not for the faint or feint of heart.* 2 1/2 stars

---- "Tusk" a Kevin Smith film (2014)

*20th century man spent his time doing amazing things, and had tales to tell later.

21st century man spends most of his time talking about ridiculous things.

This time 21st century man accomplishes one of those ridiculous things.

How to go about summing up something like this...

3 stars for the crazy screenplay.

3 stars for the incredible walrus special fx by Robert Kurtzman.

3 stars for Michael Parks' truly demented serial killer / world's most interesting man character.

2 stars for Haley Joel Osment's nerdy twenty something podcast comedy partner.

almost 2 1/2 stars for Justin Long's obnoxious and self absorbed hipster mustached podcast comedian.

3 stars for Justin Long's suffering through hell tortured and experimented on in the most gruesome way possible walrus-man.

1 1/2 stars for all the podcast nonsense.

either zero stars or 3 stars for Johnny Depp's Mike Myers esque eccentric inspector character.

and to finish out the whole whacked out affair, either 1 star or 3 stars for the absurd ending.*

===================================================================

Wizards and Warriors: The Unicorn of Death *Mind over matter. Also, lightning hawks, hawks that shoot lightning.* 3 stars

"Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood" *"One fish two fish red fish blue fish, knick knack paddywhack give a dog a bone, Two thousand zero zero party over oops out of time, my bacon's smelling fine." The Wayans, just off of In Living Color and a handful of blackspoitation movies, take on Boyz in the Hood & Friday with their brand of satire that hadn't quite soured just yet like it would with the Scary Movie series. Somewhat not bad, nowhere as good as say an episode of Chapelle Show, but almost on the level of something like Comedy Central's Key & Peele.* 2 stars plus 3 stars for Bernie Mac's cameo speech

Freddy's Nightmares: School Daze ----------

*No more homework, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks. Just robotic students.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Standard Achievement Torture.* 2 1/2 stars

-------------------------------------

"Ben and Arthur" (2002) *I'm sure that everyone involved with this shot-on-video "movie" had their big, gay hearts in the right place, but the results are so oddly misguided that it cursed the gay rights movement and set queer equality back at least a decade.* 1 star

Tales From The Crypt: My Brother's Keeper *Two guys attached at the ass-cheek, now that's freaks. And it's definitely a wild half of the siamese situation if Timothy Stack is the straight laced one.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Cannon Video: Fifty Fifty (1993) *A couple of "in it for the money" mercenaries find a change of heart and purpose, when they're sold out by the U.S. government after initially being hired to train a ragtag group of villagers to overthrow a cruel dictator.* close to 3 stars

Jonny Quest: Double Danger *monkeying around with hallucinagens* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Operation Double 007 *"Terrorists were a lot more fun back then." Thankfully, Sean Connery's brother, Neil, also didn't try to rip off Highlander 2 or Zardoz.* 3 stars with riffing 2 1/2 stars without

The Prisoner: The General *Blind memorization is a learn-ed way for a slave to show its appreciation to its masters.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 episode 19 *"Balancing faith and science" as the lead investigator questions whether or not he should debunk a crazy lady's haunting experiences.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Swamp Thing: Walk A Mile In My Shoots *Arcane and Swamp Thing trade places.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

American Horror Story: Coven "Burn, Witch, Burn" *Ask me no questions and I'll tell thee no lie. Mama's little baby love shortenin'. Fry fry fry. Febreeze will get the odors out of any room where dead things lie.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Dead to the World *Denial ain't just a river in Bum-Fuck, Egypt.* close to 3 stars

Justified: season 1 episode 2 *Rhythm, romancin', runnin', and rippin' up the floorboards.* 3 stars

"The Census Taker" (1984) *"An outrageous invasion of privacy."* 3 stars

Hannibal: Potage *Manipulation in Maryland, Minnesota, and the media.* 3 stars

X Files: Fire *amorous arsonist* 2 1/2 stars

12 Monkeys: Pilot episode *Hourglasses of the hydra.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Thirteenth Floor" (1999) *"Hate to see that evening sun go down." Digital virtual deja-vu.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: Birthright *Senator Al Gore is all about shooting up with supplements and saving the environment by saturating it with methane for his alien race to take over and inhabit.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Northern Exposure: Brains, Know How and Native Intelligence *singing the body electric and fixing the plumbing.* 3 stars

Son of the Beach: Love, Native American Style *firebush and big hose* 2 1/2 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Island of the Body Snatchers *Ariel almost loses her mind and her body in the mystery zone.* 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Twisted Claw *Wish in one hand, let a vulture shit in the other.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Eegah! *RRRR! Richard Kiel is really big and really lonely and he wants to rape a gal named Roxy. It's like King Kong set in a resort desert town where a Ricky Nelson reject is constantly rocking out.* 3 stars with riffing 2 without

Weird Science: The Feminine Mistake *The guys get turned into chicks and experience what the other sex has to go through with horny guys like themselves.* 3 stars

Jack London's "Call of the Wild" starring Charlton Heston & featuring "Buck" the dog *Buck worth more than all the gold in the Klondike.* 3 stars

"Ax Giant" *"All strut and no gut." Paul Bunyan puts a cgi sawblade through Grizzly Adams' bear-sized head for eating his blue ox named Babe.* 2 stars

MLK Day Tribute ---------------

Morton Downey Jr.: Racism with Dr. Charles King (2 appearances on the show) *One of the last ballsy, crazy, and passionately confused conversations about race conducted by the media before political correctness closed the door.* either zero or 3 stars

---------------------------------------------

Abel Ferarra's "King of New York" (1990) *Max Shreck, magnanimous and soulful.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

X Files: Beyond the Sea *Serial killer -Brad Dourif- claims to channel the beyond and a grieving Scully's recently deceased dad. but is he just a coward staying execution?* 3 stars

Lucio Fulci's "The New York Ripper" *quacking misogyny* 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: Talk To Me Baby *"You gonna believe your eyes or are you gonna believe me?" Shared feelings and Samson-haired Bud "tries" to be less of a horndog for other women, but he's only a man afterall and after a night at the bar watching a wet t-shirt contest. If his hot foreign accent nympho girlfriend don't forgive him and talk, he's gonna flip his muscle car and go out Romeo style with her in the passenger seat.* 3 stars

William Friedkin's "Cruising" (1980) *assault, alarm, assuage, acclimate, assplay, and arrest* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Girl In Lovers Lane *Drifters and the females who foolishly fawn over them. A Route 66 romantic tragedy.* 3 stars with riffing 2 1/2 without

American Horror Story: Murder House "Spooky Little Girl" *The apparition of the Black Dahlia is misdiagnosed with acute anxiety.* 3 stars

Nic Cage is "Left Behind" (2014) *Bono raptured. U2 concert postponed.* either 1 star or 2 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Cabin Fever -----------

*Fly the Freddy skies.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

*Freddy finds his Laura Palmer.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

-----------------------------------------

True Detective: The Locked Room *Scarred snowflakes* 3 stars

"Night Warning" (1983) *"Fuckin' deviants, the world is full of 'em." Hoop dreams, ''homophobia'', and a hilariously insane Susan Tyrrell.* 3 stars

Svengoolie: House of Horrors *Creepin' on art critics.* close to 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: The Secret *Blue hued and sweet toothed tale of a wolf boy adopted by vampires.* 3 stars

Charles Bronson in "Cold Sweat" *A History of Violence in a French fishing village with American muscle car action.* close to 3 stars

Viper: Once A Thief *Viper-Man takes a suped-up stroll down memory lane with his delinquent former protege, Robin.* 2 1/2 stars

Son of the Beach: Two Thongs Don't Make A Right *The Devil's butt floss and daddy's B.J.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Betsy Russell is a "Tomboy" *Battle of the sexes in a light-hearted, cheesy reality that's not afraid to get raunchy.* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow "Magical Thinking" *Weak men and strong women.* close to 3 stars

Paranormal Witness: The Visitors *It's either one of two scenarios for this episode: A) A door to door salesman is duped into believing he's cursed with demons and uses his scientific background, and connections, to explain it. or B) A bored, middle-aged former scientist, and his tech buddies, try to establish a hoax with alledged proof of the paranormal.* 2 stars

The Greatest American Hero: The Hit Car *Heavier than air, heavy like Shakespeare.* 3 stars

"Killdozer" (1974) *Grizzled workmen in an isolated setting sci-fi horror that's similar to and yet almost a decade ahead of John Carpenter's "The Thing."* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 Episode 2 *Cooking up a kingdom, of reprieve, through barter and betrayal.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Dolph Lundgren in "Dark Angel" aka "I Come In Peace" (1990) *Phantasm's The Tall Man the cyberpunk / heavymetal years, now available on projectile compact-disc, just in time for a White-boy's Christmas.* 2 1/2 stars

Tim & Eric -Bedtime Stories: The Endorsement *Subversive swipe at Sunset BLVD* 3 stars

Puppy-Bowl: Unnecessary Roughness *Puppies wrestling at the "50 yard line" and hamsters overhead in a tiny blimp. This is okay with PETA, yet I can no longer go to my cockfights on Friday nights.* either 1 star or 2 1/2 stars

Kung Fu: Blood Brother *Dignity should not remain surrendered or buried in the mire.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Roar of the Lion *(Traditional Chinese costumes) Lion versus dragon in a kung-fu dance off ceremony that's also comedy gold in a stunt filled comedy filled flick.* 3 stars

Manimal: Illusion *Manimal predicted the Siegfried & Roy tragedy, and Richard Lynch plays a diplomatic immunity villain before Lethal Weapon does the same.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

King of the Hill: It Ain't Over Till The Fat Neighbor Sings *"What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again." In Hank's reality, he loses it when he can't micro-manage any poor decision making that's always hilariously exaggerated.* 3 stars

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Group Dates *Dennis comes unhinged when women rate him, online, as a zero. Frank can't keep Mac & Charlie from offending their blind dates, and he can't keep his cockring from slipping off. Dee's plan to stick it to men by giving them one night stands winds up backfiring.* 3 stars

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: Season 1 Episode 7 *Black noises, thirsting voices striking, impeaching.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

15 Storeys High: Blue Rat *All of the energy, none of the fuss, plus a pony.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: Season 1 Finale *A is for anxiety and or African American spirit girl humming to a sensitive, young medium girl.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

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