#Violet Mikami fic

[carolina-skies]

I’ll Always Keep You Safe || Evan Hawkins x Violet Mikami

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Chapters: 9/?

Word count: 18.2k

My Published Works

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With Sylvie gone for an extended furlough, Violet knew she was bound to be stuck with a replacement partner that she couldn’t stand. She half-expected it to be Wyatt or Chout, knowing her luck. What she didn’t expect was to be partnered with Paramedic Chief Evan Hawkins, in Sylvie’s absence. And she certainly wasn't expecting the aftermath of that shift.

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Read on AO3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

[cas-kingdom]

I think

“I didn’t know they were weed brownies!” And “I swear, it’s the truth!”

Would be really funny with Chicago Fire if you’d be so kind 🥰🥰🥰

Matt Casey liked to think that every return he made back to Chicago was a breath of fresh air. Not that looking after the boys was difficult and he didn't enjoy it, but a reminder of his old life was often exactly what he needed in his new one. Of course, seeing you was the primary reason he came home, but his 51 family was more than a bonus.

Matt had decided to make for the station before the hotel. There were only a couple hours left of shift and he was ready for the placid atmosphere typical after twenty-two hours already on the job.

“I didn’t know they were weed brownies!"

The bounce in his step waned slightly as he let the door shut behind him. He could tell his sister's voice from a mile away, but the tone of it was one he wasn't used to.

"I swear, it’s the truth. These little kids were selling them, I thought they were sweet kids—they seriously looked like sweet kids."

“I, yeah—" There was a snort of laughter. Sylvie. "We believe you, Y/N.”

"Don’t doubt it, girl!" Stella sounded as enthusiastic as possible, but that same hint of amusement was evident in her voice.

Matt couldn't help his concern, quickening his pace and rounding the engine truck. The ambulance back doors were open, and you were sat at the edge, terror written all over your face. Stella was sat on her haunches in front of you, hands on your knees. Sylvie was on one side, a blood pressure monitor in her hands, and Violet was rummaging through a bag on the other.

Your wide eyes—wide, groggy eyes—met his the moment he made himself visible.

“Matty!” You made to jump up, but the girls stopped you before you could, blurting all kinds about slowing down and blood and heart.

Matt could tell you were on the verge of tears, could see the quivering of your lips and the watering of your already watering eyes. Quickly, he dropped his bag on the floor and rushed across to envelop you in a hug, cupping the back of your head to his chest. "Hey, there," he said. He met Stella's eyes, the captain having stood up, and mouthed a "what happened?" over your head.

Stella mouthed a simple "brownies" back, as though that answered the question perfectly. Luckily, you helped out.

“Matt, I took drugs," you spoke quietly. Matt's frown deepened.

The girls jumped to attention. "Not on purpose!" Sylvie said.

"Not on purpose," Stella confirmed. "Some douche was giving his kids weed brownies to sell outside his garage. Either that or someone got their recipes seriously mixed up. Boden’s sent CPD down there.”

You twirled a lock of your brother's hair around a finger, still clinging to him. “CPD’s gonna beat someone's ass," you said pointedly, "I paid eight dollars for those brownies.”

Violet crossed her arms over her chest. “Hey, Y/N, how many did you eat again?”

“Four.” Your voice was muffled, yiur face buried in Matt's chest, but everyone heard it.

Sylvie. "Rough."

"They were so good," you said.

There was a general silence, something concern probably should have filled, but after a moment the amusement of the situation set in, and smiles broke out.

"Can I assume she's gonna be fine?" Matt asked. He gently pulled away from you and guided you to sit back down on the truck.

Sylvie nodded, crossing her arms. "She's got an elevated heart rate and she'll be loopy for a bit longer but yeah, she'll be okay."

"What if the kids come after me?" You let your head drop against Matt's shoulder.

"What's that, sweetheart?" Matt asked.

"What if the brownie kids come back because I sent the cops on them?"

Sylvie put a fist to her mouth

"That's not gonna happen," Matt assured you, "don't worry."

Stella clapped her hands together after Kylie's voice asking for her echoed throughout the station. "Okay, crazy, I'm gonna take you off duty for the rest of shift, okay?"

You face fell. "Oh, but—can I still stay at the firehouse?"

"Probably best," Stella agreed.

Matt stood up. "Hey, Lieutenant, you need someone to fill in?"

Stella grinned, pointing a finger towards him as she backed out of the room. "Luckily for you, ex-Lieutenant, a spot just opened up. Go get a drink, Y/N, and stay where we can keep an eye on you. Hey, hey, Hermann, can you escort her into the common room? Don't leave her."

Hermann, who'd been passing by with an apple in hand, didn't have much of a choice as Matt passed his sister onto him with a kiss to your hot forehead before running off to change. Hermann took your arm in his when you went to fall.

"The hell's up with you? You sick?"

"I took drugs."

"What?"

Chicago Fire Masterpost

[alittlextrathatway]

I got another prompt from Sand86802 on twitter.

Posting it here again since it isn’t quite long enough for Ao3.

Played with Violet’s POV on this one. Set in a post 11x22 world.

***

“Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart”

+

Location: The El

***

It’s been a while since Sylvie and Violet spent time together off shift. Even longer since Violet spent any considerable time in the presence of both Brett and Casey at the same time.

Tonight, they had an extra ticket to a concert Sylvie had been dying to attend for a Taylor Swift cover band that reimagined the singer’s work in big band or jazz styles. Violet isn’t a swiftie, but she’s always up for new experiences so she took the extra ticket. Originally, she thinks Casey’s sister was supposed to go with them, but she canceled for some reason. Some sort of teaching emergency.

To top it all off, this concert was a part of Brett’s birthday celebration. Her first birthday as a mom and her first time away from Julia for longer than a couple of hours since the baby officially became hers a handful of weeks ago. Confidentially, Casey confided in Violet that he wanted it to be special and so full that Sylvie never had a moment to feel anxious over leaving Julia with Cindy and Herrmann for the evening.

Violet admired his ambition and effort. Even though, in her heart of hearts, she knew no one could stop Sylvie from feeling anxious about leaving her daughter alone.

They’re on their way to the show now. They opted to take the El to save on the parking fee and time spent jammed up in traffic. Violet sits on one side of Brett with Casey on the other.

The recently engaged couple is sickeningly cute. Casey’s arm is slung over Sylvie’s shoulders, pulling her against him. She went willingly, slotting against him as if she was always meant to be there with her back molding to his side and her head resting in the crook of his neck. Casey turns so he can rest his lips against the crown of Sylvie’s head, kissing her sweetly.

Looking at them now, a person would never guess they’d ever been apart.

The train stops and the doors open, allowing a pregnant woman and her toddler to board. They all clock her as she enters the car and, like her, notice there aren’t any available seats.

Casey kisses Brett’s temple and then releases her. “I’m gonna go hold the rail over by the door and let this woman have my seat.”

“You’re amazing,” Sylvie praises, nodding approvingly.

“Let’s not get carried away,” he says with a fond chuckle. “I’m not a saint. It’s just the polite and decent thing to do.”

Sylvie watches him cross the train and point out his vacated seat to the woman with a besotted smile on her face before she scoffs and glances over at Violet. “Not a saint. Of course he’s a saint. I mean, look at him.”

Violet chuckles mutely, watching as the pregnant woman thanks Matt profusely and waddles her way toward them. “I see him. He’s great.”

“I can’t believe I ever thought I could do without him,” she says with a contented sigh. “I mean, what was I thinking? No one holds a candle to that man over there. Not for me anyway.”

Violet bites her bottom lip, an apology slowly clawing its way up her throat. She’s held it at bay so far, but her guilt grows larger every day. Even quicker than normal during the rare instances she’s directly confronted with how truly happy Matt makes her best friend these days.

Sylvie and Dylan were never going to work out. Not when Sylvie’s connection to Matt is as strong as it’s proven to be. Violet should have seen that sooner.

“I’m happy for you, bestie,” Violet says, linking her arm through Sylvie’s. “Since he came back into your life you’ve done nothing but glow.”

“Thank you.” Sylvie lays her head on Violet’s shoulder affectionately. “I felt like a part of me shut down after I broke it off with him. Like losing touch with him meant losing a piece of my heart. I should’ve known then that ending it was a mistake.”

That does it. Violet can’t hold off her apology any longer. Sylvie’s right. She should’ve seen it and she probably would have too if Violet hadn’t interfered.

“I should’ve known it too,” she says, sighing tiredly. “They way I kept pushing you toward Dylan…God, looking back I was so selfish, Sylvie. I’m sorry.”

“What? No, Violet, my struggles with my emotions aren’t on you. Matt and I had things we should’ve dealt with sooner and we ignored them. That’s on us. All you wanted was to see me happy. I get that.”

No, she really doesn’t. “It wasn’t just about you being happy though.”

Sylvie’s smile turns bittersweet. Her expression is empathetic and all knowing. It’s a look from her that’s potent on anyone, even perfect strangers. When Brett gives someone that look, they feel encouraged to spill all their secrets and struggles.

“I know,” Sylvie replies. “It’s okay. Grief manifests itself in all kinds of ways.”

“Dylan and Evan were friends and I guess I—I guess—“

“You wanted to hold onto that piece of him for as long as possible?”

“Yeah,” Violet agrees. “That’s a good way to phrase it. It goes to show you, never take advice from someone who’s falling apart. I was still spiraling hard when we first bumped into Dylan at the hospital. At the time, I thought all the pieces fit, you know? I know now I saw only what I wanted to see. I sent you a long way down the wrong path.”

“I started down that path long before we ran into Dylan, Violet,” Sylvie states, gently correcting her. “Cut yourself some slack. You were still reeling. I know what that can do to a person. Hell, I moved back home and intended to marry a man I barely knew after we lost Otis. My grief over him kept me from realizing I’d made the wrong choice for far too long. If anyone gets it, it’s me. It all worked out in the end. I have Matt, Julia, and the boys. I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time. That’s all that matters.”

“I guess so.” She wishes she could say the same but, while she’s through the worst of her grief, she’s far from happy.

“You’re gonna find that too, partner,” Sylvie assures her, as if she’s read Violet’s mind. “I know it. No matter what that happiness looks like for you, I am certain it’ll happen. You’re the best so you deserve the best.”

No, Sylvie’s the best. The amount of grace she extends to everyone around her is practically miraculous. “I already have the best friend I could ask for,” Violet says, giving Sylvie a pointed look. “And that’s all the happiness I need for now.”

As cheesy as it sounds, it’s a truth Violet feels deep in her bones. Sylvie’s friendship will always be the gift that keeps on giving.

[nerdywalkingencyclopedia]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Chicago Fire Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan Hawkins/Violet Mikami, Sylvie Brett & Evan Hawkins, Sylvie Brett & Violet Mikami Characters: Evan Hawkins, Violet Mikami, Wallace Boden, Squad 3 Crew Members (Chicago Fire), Joe Cruz (Chicago Fire) Additional Tags: Whumptober 2023, Whumptober, Evan Hawkins Lives, Established Evan Hawkins/Violet Mikami, Chicago Fire Whump, Hurt Violet Mikami, Concussions, Worried Evan Hawkins, Worried Boyfriend Evan Hawkins, Evan Hawkins/Violet Mikami Deserve Better, Evan Hawkins' First Job Back After Pickwick Series: Part 1 of Nat K - Whumptober 2023 Summary:

Whumptober 2023

Day 1 - "How many fingers am I holding up?"

A fire causes a collapse on Hawkins' first day back.

[torreshalstead]

No Grief in Sleep

Summary - She’d long heard that the days were easier than the nights, that the nights would bring body aching loneliness and hours of painful memories. But for Violet, that wasn’t the case. No, the days were painful, raw and seemed to last for hours longer than they should. But she looked forward to the night.

Notes - So you can thank the OC insta for posting the end of 11x03 and putting me in my Hawkami painful feels. This was kind of therapeutic to write so I hope you enjoy. AO3 Link

She’d long heard that the days were easier than the nights, that the nights would bring body aching loneliness and hours of painful memories. But for Violet, that wasn’t the case.

The days were awful. Everyone was tiptoeing around her as if she was close to her breaking point and one noise just a fraction too loud would push her off the edge. They spoke to her in hushed voices, heads cocked to the side like you spoke to someone in a hospital bed. But she wasn’t in a hospital bed, she wasn’t injured. At least not physically or visibly. She knew they meant well, that they thought they were looking out for her best interests. But it just served as a reminder that nothing was right. She was having to live out her days without the man she loved by her side. And it wasn’t fair.

No, the days were painful, raw and seemed to last for hours longer than they should. But she looked forward to the night.

At night, she could wrap herself in his shirt, his smell enveloping her like a hug, curl into bed and drift into a world where he still existed. Where he still pulled her into his arms, told her how loved she was and they could continue to live their lives together, the mundane and the exciting. Their time not impacted by a little thing such as death.

In the back of her mind Violet knew it wasn’t real. Knew it was a life of fantasy, but it provided her comfort, a place where she wasn't in pain and where every little thing didn’t remind her of the life she wanted and was no longer possible for her. When she closed her eyes at night, everything she had ever hoped was possible. There was no grief in sleep.

Tonight was no different, without even stopping to look at the clock as she walked into her apartment, caring not for the time, she headed straight to her room. Shucking off her clothes, leaving them in the pile on the floor they fell to as she stepped out of them. She pulled the worn grey t-shirt over her head, breathing in the scent that still lingered on the cotton. It wasn’t as strong as it once was, but it was still enough.

She climbed into bed, switching her phone on to silent - nothing was important enough to disturb the only time she got now that allowed her to feel alive. Tugging the sheets up high to her chin, she knew it wouldn’t take long for sleep to overcome her. And as usual, she was right.

Her eyes fluttered open when the morning sun flooded into the room, her gaze focused on the figure of a man opening the blinds and when he turned around to look at her, his smile was wide and bright.

‘Morning beautiful,’ he said softly, crawling back across the bed and dropping a kiss to her forehead. Violet hummed in response. She still wasn’t used to getting woken up like this, peacefully lifted from her slumber with love and affection.

‘You got an early meeting?’ She asked, her voice still thick with sleep as she rolled over on her side so she could throw an arm and a leg over him.

‘Not today, was going to make you breakfast though, how’s pancakes and bacon sound?’ He asked, pushing a strand of hair that had fallen out of her braid behind her ear.

‘Delicious,’ Violet muttered, pressing a kiss to his bare chest and letting her lips linger against his warm skin.

The scene faded as if a blur effect had been painted across the whole thing, the colours merged together and a second later turned back into solid.

The sun was glistening off the Chicago waterfront, the sky absent for all but a couple of small clouds and his hand was wrapped tightly around hers. The path was busy but bubbling with life on a weekend afternoon. There were children peddling little bikes, excitedly laughing as they hit top speed off in front of parents. Old couples strolling slowly arm in arm, savouring the summer sun on their skin. Young couples swinging interlaced hands, taking selfies with beaming smiles.

The happiness of everyone around them was infectious and Violet couldn’t disguise the smile that was painted on her cheeks as she took it all in. They continued to meander down the path, no destination in mind, just content to be in the fresh air together with no worry that an emergency call out may interrupt them. As with all couples whose work involved answering the needs of the citizens of Chicago, they had had many an interrupted rendezvous when the bells had rung.

Coming up to a park bench on the side, a little girl with a multi coloured tutu was dancing to imaginary music, her arms swaying above her head.

‘Dad, dance with me!’ They heard her call out loudly to the man sitting on the bench just across from them. Without missing a beat, her father jumped up and pulled her into his arms, dramatically swaying them both and dipping her before peppering her face with kisses, her giggles filling the air.

Violet smiled at them as they passed, when a voice whispered in her ear, ‘that’s the kind of father I want to be.’

A warmth filled her stomach at his words and she glanced up at him, ‘really?’ She asked, curious as to what had brought out such a comment.

‘The kind who will drop anything when their kid calls, makes a fool of themselves in public just so their child will smile. The father who has pictures of his kids in his wallet and will talk about them to everyone and anyone,’ he squeezed her hand and her mind was suddenly swimming with images.

The images are full of two children, a little boy the spitting image of the man holding her hand and a little girl, her long dark hair swirling around her as she giggled loudly. They were being pushed on the swings, both cheering loudly to go higher and higher, she and him both acquiescing to their requests, matching silver rings glistening on their left hands.

The image melted again and when she opened her eyes, the world she had been living in had disappeared and once again she was back in her room, her blinds drawn but the morning sun peeping through the corners. Glancing at her phone, she realised she was late. It was already 8:15 and she was due on shift 15 minutes ago. Groaning loudly, she pulled herself out of bed and hurried to get ready.

——————————————————————————

‘Is everything okay?’ Her partner Sylvie Brett asked softly, having pulled her aside once she appeared in the break room, 40 minutes after her shift had started.

‘Yeah, fine,’ Violet brushed her off, pulling her hair into a tight ponytail. She really should have showered this morning but had obviously not had the time and didn’t have the energy or the want to shower in the locker room either.

‘Violet-’ Sylvie tried again, her head tilting in the tell-tale sign of pity that Violet had grown to hate in the past few weeks. Couldn’t anyone keep their head straight on their necks when they talked to her these days.

‘I just overslept Sylvie, I’m sorry. I'll go apologise to Boden,’ she interrupted and before Sylvie could say anything else, she turned heel and marched towards Boden’s office. She had no intention of speaking to their Chief, he was full of pity more than anyone else. He was the one who had held her back, stopped her from being able to save him. And he knew it.

‘Oh hey Vi,’ Gallo appeared next to her from out of nowhere. ‘Missed you at morning briefing,’ he said. It wasn’t a question but she could tell he was digging for an explanation not just of her tardiness today but her overall demeanour. She wanted to yell at him; he’s dead! Nothing matters anymore!

But she swallowed it down, she knew her friends cared. She knew they were trying and wanted to help but there was nothing they could do and she didn’t want the help. She wanted this shift to be over so she could go home and go to sleep.

‘Just overslept is all,’ she said calmly.

‘Glad you’re sleeping well,’ he said with a warm smile. If he only knew the half of it but she nodded with a forced smile.

‘I’m just going to…’ she said, gesturing past him in a hope that he would let her pass without any more questioning.

‘Of course, umm…’ he paused and Violet could feel the words on the tip of his tongue but she couldn’t. Not today. So she smiled again and continued past him into the locker room, thankful it was empty.

She sat on the bench, facing her locker but not really looking at it, her mind failing to focus on anything solid right now.

That’s how Hermann came to find her 30 minutes later, gazing off into the distance, her eyes glazed over, shoulders slumped forward.

‘Hey kiddo,’ he said quietly but it still made her jump.

‘Oh hi Hermann,’ she said with a little shake of her head in an attempt to pull herself completely back into the present.

‘I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay, because you’re not,’ he started and she immediately turned to look away, not wanting to keep his eye contact for fear he would be able to see straight through her. ‘But if you ever want to talk, or not talk. We are all here for you. And we don’t expect you to be better just because that would be the easy thing. These things hurt and you’ve got to feel that hurt for a bit. So you can heal.’ Hermann reached over and squeezed her shoulder before leaving her alone again with her own thoughts.

His words had hit her. That you need to feel the hurt. But she wasn’t hurting. At least not all the time. When she was on shift, she was angry - angry at the situation, that he had been put in that position and saved someone else instead of himself. Mad at her friends which she knew wasn’t fair but was still how she was feeling. She was annoyed that her shifts were long and she was expected to sleep during them but she couldn’t. She lay awake every night on shift. She could only sleep in the bed she had shared with him, wrapped in his scent and drifting off back into his arms. She prayed they got calls in the middle of the night so her tiredness wouldn’t be questioned. But she wasn’t hurting.

At home, when she was asleep, she was as far from hurt as she could be. She was happy. She was in love. She was with him.

——————————————————————————

Returning back to her apartment after shift she repeated the same routine she had since the day of the funeral. Before the funeral she hadn’t slept once. Before everyone in polished and pressed uniforms had come out to show how sad they were. Sad they were for a person they barely knew. But she knew him, she knew him and she couldn’t even say anything. The department knew about their relationship but didn’t want it advertised. And as such, she had to sit at the back with her house and listen to people praise him and his work, staying vague enough that the speeches could have been rolled out for whoever had been crushed by that building.

Their words meant nothing. And that night when she had expected to lie in bed and have a night filled again with restless movement and everything but sleep, she fell asleep and he appeared to her. She fell back into a world where they were together and that call never happened. She had never had to experience having her heart crushed in front of her friends, her own cries echoing outside her body as they pulled him out, his body lifeless and his eyes empty of their usual sparkle. In this world, he was hers and she was his, he was alive and they were in love.

He stood with his back to her, his bare skin pale in the moonlight. He didn’t turn as she got out of bed but she knew it was him, she had memorised his lines, every stretch of his skin, the outline of his muscles underneath her fingers. Looking down she realised she was just as scantily dressed as he was, only a pair of black underwear graced her frame. She didn’t care. She never felt self-conscious around him. Whenever he was around, Violet felt like the most beautiful woman on the planet, all the flaws she used to see when she looked in the mirror, all the bits of herself that she had poked and prodded, disappeared when he looked at her.

She pressed her naked chest to his back, wrapping her arms tightly around him and sighing when his fingers interlocked with hers.

‘Morning,’ she murmured, pressing a kiss to the middle of his spine.

‘Good morning my love,’ the man said, his voice warm and comforting. ‘Did you sleep well? I didn’t mean to wake you.’

‘You didn’t,’ she said, her lips remaining in contact with his skin so her voice was muffled.

‘What do you want to do today?’ He asked and Violet knew that whatever she said he would agree to in an instant. If she wanted to drive for hours with the radio playing and the windows down, he would pack a bag full of food so they wouldn’t need to stop. If she wanted to stay in bed all day and show him how much she loved him, he would show her the feeling was mutual. If she said she didn’t know, he’d offer suggestions of things he knew she’d enjoy. She had never been with someone who valued her happiness and comfort so highly. She was as happy as she imagined she could ever be.

The first night, it had all seemed so real. His touch, his lips, his words. It was like he was really with her and her life without him was the dream instead. When she awoke and was alone, she realised it wasn’t. But every night when she fell asleep, it could be real again and she lived for those moments. She tried to rush through the days as quickly as she could, the faster the day went, the quicker she was back with her love and her heart was whole again.

They were swaying in each other’s arms, strings of fairy lights twinkling above their heads. The music played in the distance but neither of them were focused on the words the band was saying, the only important thing was each other. He was dressed to the nines, his suit fitting him perfectly, the shirt underneath white as snow. His newest accessory stark against his own skin.

Her own matched his, he had offered to get her a fancier one but the engagement ring was bright enough for her. She was happy to have a plain wedding band that matched her husband’s.

The back of her dress was lace, the pearl buttons starting just below her shoulder blades and running down where the material changed to satin at the bottom of her back and down the train. The front was a matching lace but was currently pressed to her love’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her, providing the safety she knew they always would.

The whole night was like a fairytale. Her father had walked her down the aisle, holding back his own tears where her fiancé had failed to do so. When she met him at the altar, tears were streaming down his face, his red rimmed eyes filled with nothing but love and his smile wide enough to hurt his cheeks. Their friends and family had cheered them when they were announced husband and wife, had showered them with love and affection at the reception and were now coupled off and dancing their own dances around the floor.

It was everything she had ever wished it could be.

Violet was pulled roughly from that world, awoken unceremoniously by a loud knocking at the door. She frowned for a moment, hoping the noise would stop and she could return to her unconscious state but when it didn’t she realised she needed to see to it before her neighbours put in a complaint.

Tugging on a pair of sweatpants that were crumpled on the floor, she opened the door and was shocked to see Kelly Severide in front of her. As far as she had been aware, he didn’t know where she lived.

‘Hey Violet,’ he said, surprisingly without the head tilt and his voice lacking the usual pity that their colleagues used.

‘Um hi, it’s not a great time,’ Violet said, pushing her hair out of her face and tugging awkwardly at the hem of her shirt. She wasn’t exactly dressed to entertain.

‘No, that much I realise but considering you missed the whole of last shift, it’s the right time,’ Kelly said calmly, gently pushing past her into the apartment.

Violet’s jaw dropped, she had missed the whole of the last shift. She knew she had woken up a couple of times last night, or last day clearly, and gotten up for a drink or a trip to the bathroom but never once had she glanced at her phone or thought to check the time. She had just retreated back to her bed, back to him.

‘I must have been tired…’ she panicked and tried to think of an excuse but Kelly shook his head.

‘It’s not that though, is it,’ he said calmly, taking a seat on her couch and gesturing for her to sit at the other side. Even though he wasn’t her ranking officer when he was in her apartment, she still did as was asked and sat down next to him.

‘I’m not here to pity you Violet, I’m sure you’ve had your fill of that from everyone else,’ he was speaking the truth, his voice was still calm but not the ‘I’m sorry the man you loved died’ calm but the ‘I understand’ calm. She hummed lightly in response, she didn’t know where he was going with this but she was going to hear him out.

‘I know you know about Shay,’ Kelly started, he seemed to take a deep breath before speaking which confused Violet. She had heard a lot about Shay, from Kelly and from others but it didn’t usually make him react like this. She nodded in response anyway, of course she knew Shay - everyone at 51 knew Shay. ‘But there was also Anna.’ Violet glanced over at him, her gaze being fixed ahead until this moment, she saw he was a little paler than usual.

‘Anna was my girlfriend who died, she had cancer and it was terminal. She died holding my hand and it broke me,’ Kelly said, his voice thick where he was holding back tears. ‘I was a shell of a man for a while. I’d only just survived losing Shay but when Anna was taken, I didn’t think I’d make it.’

Violet continued to stare at him as he spoke, she could tell it had taken a lot for him to tell her this and she didn’t want to interrupt him.

‘I thought I saw her everywhere after that. On calls, at the checkout of the store, on the L. It was like my mind wanted to see her, so it did. It was the worst at night, she’d fill my dreams and then I’d wake up and realise she was still gone.’ He went quiet after that, their breathing the only noise in the silent room.

‘He’s in all my dreams,’ Violet said in all but a whisper. ‘When I’m asleep, it’s like I’m alive with him again.’

‘But then you wake up,’ Kelly said quietly and Violet nodded.

‘It’s easier in the dreams, it doesn’t hurt because he’s there,’ she admitted. She hadn’t told anyone this, hadn’t wanted to admit that she was dreaming about someone who wasn’t alive anymore. She didn’t think anyone would understand but here was Kelly, someone who clearly understood more than she knew.

‘But if you’re only focused on the dreams, then you’ll forget to live,’ Violet blinked at his words. ‘He wouldn’t want you to do that Violet, he’d want you to live. Evan would want you to live for the both of you.’

Violet choked back a sudden sob. It was the first time anyone had said Evan’s name to her since it had happened. Everyone had avoided it. They had always just said ‘sorry for your loss’ or he was simply ‘him’. Nobody ever said his name.

The name that she had murmured into his skin as he made her feel things that no one else ever had. The name she would yell with a laugh when he would pick her up from behind when she least expected it and twirl her around. The name she tagged on to the end of I love you when she said goodbye as he left her apartment, her words only meant for him and no one else.

She realised she hadn’t even said it herself. She hadn’t said his name either. She had thought she’d say goodbye to him at his funeral, get a moment to whisper the words at his grave but she never did.

‘I never said goodbye,’ she choked out. She was crying more now than she had since that night when she had watched his lifeless body get carried away from her. ‘I never said goodbye,’ she repeated, quieter this time, a realisation as well as statement.

‘You can still do it now,’ Kelly suggested softly, and when Violet quickly spun her head to look at him added, ‘it doesn’t mean you’ll forget him. It just means you can start to live again. He’ll always be with you Violet, looking out for you, cheering on your successes and mourning your losses. But you’re still here Violet, and you can’t forget that. Evan wouldn’t want you to forget that.’

She nodded, the tears still staining her cheeks. ‘Will you come with me?’ She asked quietly. She would never normally have asked this of Kelly, the Squad Lieutenant and she had never had that much in common up until that point. But he nodded at her when she added, ‘I need to say goodbye.’

[fangirlexpress]

Chicago Fire: Finding You Masterlist

Fanfiction link: TBA Plot: Bumping into ex-fling Gianna Mackey on a busy city street is the last thing Blake Gallo expected when he moved to Michigan several months before. Even more shocking? She acts like she has no idea who he is. When Blake finally gets her to admit she remembers him, she demands he keep his distance. And then Gianna suddenly goes missing a few days later, her car abandoned in a vacant lot, keys still in the ignition, and Blake becomes determined to find her at any cost...

Pairing(s): Blake Gallo x Gianna Mackey Darren Ritter x Nico Pavonotti (oc) Violet Mikami x Sam Carver

--

Taglist:

[fighterkimburgess]

Screams

Summary: Violet attends what should be a routine call and her life is forever changed.

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, angst. Lots of angst. Hospitals, vomiting.

Words: 1.2k

—

Screaming.

It’s not an unusual sound to hear at a call - unpleasant, but not unusual. People in pain. People who’ve seen disaster. People who have just lost something precious.

This scream is different, it’s wrenching the air. Violet can’t tell where it’s coming from, can’t tell what direction it’s in. But there’s arms around her and the pressure against her chest means she can focus.

It’s coming from her.

“EVAN! Evan please I CAN SAVE HIM I CAN HELP HIM PLEASE!”

She watches as someone holds her back against her fighting, as her lover - his body - is pulled from the concrete tangle. His eyes are open and fixed. She knows. She knows.

But it’s Evan and she can’t let him go, she can’t lose him. Not like this. They were supposed to get their happy ending.

“EVAN!” It’s a final yell until she sees his limp hand slide off the makeshift backboard, the fingers she loves so dearly slack and unclenched.

No. No. He can’t.

She slumps to the ground, pulling whoever is behind her down with her. She knows now what nobody is saying, that everyone is staring at her but she can’t bear this. First she thought that Gallo was hurt and that was bad but now Evan is gone and it’s a cliche that it’s his final day on the job because next week he starts in his new district.

And now he won’t.

“Evan…” it’s a breath and then the pain returns to her chest. She pulls out of the arms that had loosened and turns, desperately wishing for space and privacy as she wretches up bile and the remnants of lunch. Their last lunch.

“Violet…” it’s Boden who speaks and when she turns his face is filled with anguish, matching her own. How is she supposed to continue?

“82 brought him to Med like protocol. There’s another chief here, I’m bringing you to the hospital. Brett’s coming in 61.”

He wouldn’t take no for an answer if she tried so she let herself be swept away by the imposing man, ignoring the calls from her house as they went past. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t look at them.

The drive is silent to Med, just the beep of their duty radios to break the silence. Every few moments someone asks about an update on the Pickwick fire, but they’re keeping the details off the air so far. Derek Hawkins is a paramedic chief too. Someone will need to tell him. She has his number, she can call. But saying the words out loud will kill her and she can’t.

The drive feels shorter than normal and she’s numb getting out and walking into the ED. Boden’s arm is around her, Sylvie running up and another arm wraps around her shoulder to keep Violet steady. Her feet don’t want to walk her anywhere, don’t want her to go to the hospital room that’s about to break her heart open again.

It’s funny in a way that it’s Ethan Choi who sees them and walks out. He took the first patient she’d ever brought to Med as a green paramedic, a teenager who’d fallen off a moped. He’d asked Violet that afternoon how Evan was. And now this.

“Violet…” he trails off and she knows. She’s done it before

“He’s gone, isn’t he?”

“He came in with a GCS of three, pupils unreactive and one of them was blown. I’m sorry.”

Her Chief and her best friend hold her up because the grief is all consuming, all feeling. She’d had Evan Hawkins for not even a year but they’d had each other’s hearts and now he’s gone. Left with a broken body and she’s alone.

“I have to call…”

“Mouch knows his dad. He’s calling. 51 is on the way here.”

They help her to the waiting room, soot covered clothing ignored as she sits on the cold chair.

Evan is dead.

The man she loves. The man she had kissed just hours before. Who loves her and cares for her and makes her feel like her quirks are beautiful. He’s dead. He’s gone.

The room fills with members from 51 quickly. First Truck, Gallo squeezing her shoulder and Carver nodding before Mouch and Stella pull her up into hugs. It’s fortifying and horrifying in a way.

Engine was next and Darren clings to her, holding her and rubbing her back. The hugs continue from everyone else, Squad arriving to continue the train of them. She’s never received one from any of them, gave one to Severide briefly at his wedding, but the one from he and Cruz last the longest. The Lieutenant leans down to her ear where only she can hear.

“It wasn’t romantic, but I’ve gone through this too. I know exactly how it feels to watch someone you love die in front of you. And when you’re ready, I’m here.”

It was a watery smile between them as he pulls away, a nod between two of the members of this wretched club. She knew the history of 51, had seen the memorial to Otis, rode in the ambulance that Leslie Shay had been in. But the offer of help is what surprises her more.

It’s quiet as they wait for Evan’s parents to arrive so the call can go out. They will not leave until it’s announced over the radio that CFD’s ranks of angels gains a new member tonight and the memory of it makes her sick. First through the door is DC Hill, coming straight to Violet and asking how she is. She isn’t able to speak but the Deputy Chief just nods, taking her hand.

“He loves you. Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t,” Violet chokes out, the words a vow on her lips.

Finally Derek and Monica arrive to the hospital, faces pale and drawn. They search the seated uniformed members for a few moments until their eyes rest on Violet, coming straight to her and wrapping her in a hug. She’d met them all of a month before, having dinner and laughing at Evan’s baby photos. They approve of her, think she’s capable and welcoming, want to get to know her better. Her parents had liked him too.

“Violet, tell me it isn’t…” when Monica sees her face she knows it’s true, the older woman breaking down in tears. Sylvie moves to let the two women sit beside each other, wrapped in their own grief. This pain is so much for her, but the grief of losing your child has to be worse. But when Ethan walks in to deliver the news fully, when Violet hears Boden pull out his radio to confirm the fire at the Pickwick Theatre has had one fatality - Paramedic Chief Evan Hawkins - the tears come even harder. Violet sobs for Evan, for their life, for the plans they have that will never happen. For the half baked talk of potential marriage and how neither had ever thought about it but now it’s something they want. Not yet, their still newly rekindled relationship is too fragile. But they work towards it because they want it to work out.

And he’s gone.

Evan Hawkins is dead, and Violet Mikami has never known pain like this before.

[thena0315]

Fall 2022, Ambulance 61 encounters three rape cases in a single shift where their patients are all brunettes in their 20s, their hands are zip tied above their heads, have their right leg dismembered, and lose their left eye. The M.O matches an unsolved single rape case in New York three months ago during the summer.

Manhattan's Special Victims Unit sends Detectives Amanda Rollins and Grace Muncy to Chicago to help Chicago PD's Intelligence Unit to investigate the case.

[jareaulamontagnes]

on a03, you might’ve noticed my 9x07, 9x08 and and 9x09 have gone. so truth be told when jesse’s exit news broke, i deleted the word documents.

i felt like my writing has massively improved since then and i was literally a wreck nothing made sense and this helped. like a clean slate if you will. plus, it was a long time coming and i’m proud of my 9x22 one because that’s what my writing style is now and that’s what i want to be reflected when you come across my a03 page.

now, they will be rewritten, drafted and put back on the site. for now, be on the lookout for some upstead distance fics, hawkami fix its before that dastardly shocking episode (which still doesn’t even feel real) and an au as well as other stuff i might just plan to stick on ya when i’m feeling creative.

thank you all for understanding.

upstead and hawkami forever ✨

— mollie 🪐

[upsteadhq]

macie’s story - 19 🧸

Summary: Hailey is rushed to Med after she collapses. Jay is forced to wait for any kind of results as Hailey doesn’t wake back up again. 

- - - 

Read now on Wattpad and AO3 :)

[timeguardians]

okay but an au Violet in the ambunance accident where they went over a bridge and Evan being the one to jump down to make sure his medics are okay.

[carolina-skies]

Dispatch Rescue

Pairing: Violet Mikami/Blake Gallo

Word Count: 2k

My Published Works

-

Violet expected today to be a normal, boring day on shift with each call being something like chest pains and false alarms. She wasn’t expecting a dispatcher to help her out of a sticky situation.

This dispatcher was born to help people. Hell, he wasn’t even a dispatcher, not usually. Blake Gallo was a firefighter. He just happened to be sidelined.

-

Her heart was racing. She could practically feel her own pulse in her ears. Cops should have at least met them at the scene, or passed them to get a witness statement from any bystanders.

“You don’t have time to wait for backup. Trust me on this, Violet. Pull into the loading dock, those jackasses will drive right past you.”

—

Read on AO3

-

Author’s Note: I was 10000% inspired by the whole, “Gabby Dawson, ninja paramedic” bit from 2x16, and I really wanted to spin it on another paramedic instead. Honestly, Hawkami is my ride or die but I just couldn’t find any kinda situation where Hawkins would be booted down to dispatch, so we went with Gallo instead. Hope you enjoy!

[cas-kingdom]

I’d love it if you could write

“Well, this went horribly wrong…” And “Idiots. They are all idiots.”

With Chicago Fire pretty please ❤️

The atmosphere of Firehouse 51 was one of absolute secrecy. The majority of the house had crammed into the common room, some filling food dishes while others strung up decorations, each person adopting a very temporary and absolutely rare attitude of quiet.

"Hey, Kelly, grab that," you whispered as loud as you could. Balancing on the edge of an armchair, you had been attempting to stick a Happy Birthday banner above the doorway.

Kelly put his stack of party hats down and rushed over to help. "Where am I going?" he asked, taking the end of the banner. He pulled it over to the other side of the room, standing on the tips of his toes to stick it in the corner. "Here? Hey, Stella, pass me the tape?"

Sylvie slapped Mouch's hand as it reached for the bowl of popcorn. "Uh, no! Hands off the party food, Mouch."

"Oh, come on, there's more than enough here," Mouch sulked.

Sylvie stared. "Off."

"Guys, where am I putting these party poppers?" Violet called, slapping a hand over her mouth when a chorus of hushes came her way.

Cruz pointed towards the pile of presents on a table. "I think Y/N said over there."

Hermann cursed. "Damn, I think I forgot my present."

"No, no—" You turned momentarily away from the birthday banner, which you were still struggling to hang up the right way, to point Violet in a different direction— "By the cake."

Stella, about three party hats on her head, frowned. "Did that personalised birthday sash every arrive?"

"Mouch, I said off the food!"

"Please, Sylvie?"

"Y/N," Kelly said, "this is impossible." The birthday banner did not want to stay up, its finicky material ripping and slipping every time you and Kelly tried to stick your respective ends to the wall.

You, ever the tenacious one, set your lips in a tight, determined line and frowned as you concentrated. "Nothing's impossible Just—reach a bit more—"

Ritter's voice, riddled with nervous laughter, broke through the quietude of the common room. "Uh, guys?"

"What in God's name are you doing to my firehouse?"

Your head swung around so fast you lost your balance on the edge of the chair and fell, only saved from falling in a heap on the floor by Cruz, who caught you and steadied you.

Chief Wallace Boden stood inches in front of the open doorway, stern face surveying the common room's new features. Behind him, Capp and Tony lingered, the we fucked up looks absolutely at home on their faces. They escaped not a single glare from the occupants of the room, who stood scattered, each with their own job that they took one hundred percent seriously.

Capp leaned over Boden's shoulder. "You said twelve!" he hissed.

"We said half twelve!" Stella hissed back.

There was a general silence and very little movement that lasted approximately three seconds before Sylvie stepped forward, hands clasped in front of her and smiling as wide as she could without it looking too forced.

"Chief!" she said. "Surprise?" At the ensuing silence, she spun on her heel and glared until everyone shouted "surprise!"

The birthday banner fell on Kelly's head.

"Well," Hermann said around an awkward cough, "this went horribly wrong."

On any other day, in any other circumstance, you might have laughed about the upheaval. But this was a party you had been planning for three shifts. Each detail had been meticulously thought out, greatly desiring the man who'd been there for you since you were toddling around the firehouse to have a good birthday despite working. Now, that plan had plummeted downwards.

You sighed and your shoulders slackened in defeat. Noting this, and finally grasping what this was, Boden let himself smile and picked up a party hat from one of the tables. "On the contrary," he said, putting the hat on your head, "I think it's wonderful."

A chorus of cheers rounded the common room and Cruz struck up the music player.

"Thank you, guys," Boden said as he pulled you, finally grinning, into his side, "truly."

Chicago Fire Masterpost

[alittlextrathatway]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Chicago Fire Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan Hawkins/Violet Mikami Characters: Evan Hawkins, Violet Mikami Additional Tags: One Shot, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Banter, Tenderness, New Relationship, Light Smut, barely any but just enough that I feel like it needs a mention, someday I'll write smut for them but today is not that day Summary:

After successfully keeping her relationships casual for years, she somehow happens to fall in love with the most inconvenient option? Evan Hawkins, the one man she’s dated who thinks she’s funny and beautiful and talented and yet somehow isn’t intimidated by her professional ambitions or competitive nature, just has to be her boss as well. It makes sense. If there’s not going to be a catch with the man himself then she supposes there has to be one with the circumstances. Life couldn’t simply work out for her. That would be too easy.

[nerdywalkingencyclopedia]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Chicago Fire Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan Hawkins/Violet Mikami, Sylvie Brett & Violet Mikami, Blake Gallo & Violet Mikami & Darren Ritter Characters: Evan Hawkins, Violet Mikami, Wallace Boden, Kelly Severide, Stella Kidd, Blake Gallo, Christopher Herrmann, Darren Ritter, Sylvie Brett, Firehouse 51 Crew Members (Chicago Fire) Additional Tags: Episode: s11e03 Completely Shattered, Whump, Episode Tag, Canon Rewrite, Fix-It, Episode Fix-it, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Near Death Experiences, Near Death, Evan Hawkins lives, worried girlfriend, hawkami deserved better Series: Part 2 of Hawkami Ever After Summary:

He's alive.

A near disaster, Violet is relieved that the Chief is alive after the tragedy. But will they be able to pull through what happens next?

A fix-it fic for 11x03, and what happens after.

[winchesterszvonecek]

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