#WHEW BOY LMAO THIS IS...LITERALLY...

[astronoteb00k]

spicy astrology observations (18+)

Hi again, today it will be a little different observations post, a bit spicy so get ready :)

/ Book a reading with me. /

Song to listen for a better experience: 2 AM - Che Ecru

venus sextile mars in synastry is suchhhh a hot placement in a couple. the chemistry is fucking insane. it's like both of you want to rip each other's clothes off when you see each other, and when you first meet each other is basically eye fucking lol 🔥

water moons are such fake innocents lmao. they're the dirtiest, freakiest mfs alive. they'll do something naughty and bad and proceed to give you the doe eyes and this face 🥺 and ask 'what did i do?'. Lol they can fuck with your mind so bad.

venus trine/sextile venus synastry is a dream-come-true in bed. you know each other and share the same interests. also you're each other's type 100%.

taurus placements go crazy with that head. o#ral seggs is their thing.

every aquarius/pisces placement man i had met had foot fetish. if that's not your thing, be aware. just saying.

leo mars/venus love that attention and validation in bed and if you can't give it to them, they'll find someone who can - oops. praise kink, hair pulling, dirty talk even a bit of a degrading AND/OR filming while doing it will drive them crazy.

air placements especially libra and gemini venus/mars and mars/pluto ruled signs may be into taboo or forbidden things like threesomes, roleplay, hardcore seggs, bdsm, outdoor seggs etc

cancers are the freakiest people i ever met. cancer men are so fucking crazy, they literally think about it 24/7.

water signs also loveee shower seggs, especially cancer men.

scorpio placements aren't always about bdsm, 24/7 seggs, rough etc they're more up for passion, connection and emotions. if they can't look at you in the eyes and feel butterflies and chills through their whole body while doing it, all while crying, they won't care about you. they need EMOTIONS.

sagittarius mars/venus is all about forbidden/outdoor seggs. 'let's do it here' and it be a library LMAO. they're so random and that's the best part about them. car, club, toilet, friend's house, in a house full of people with unlocked door - anything but a bed lol.

leo/aries mars for women could mean that they're really into partners that are or look bold. tattoos, masculine, dark, 'bad boy' vibe turns them on so bad. bonus points if they smoke. something that's dangerous and smells like trouble is like heaven to them.

virgo stellium (especially in men) could mean that they're really into virgins or unexperienced people. purity is a big thing for them.

lilith in 8th house synastry is whew. like goddamn i get it, you want to fuck each other anywhere anytime.

venus conjunct moon/ascendant in synastry is a great indicator in a relationship itself but in bed too. you're each other's type and there could also be a lot of jealousy and possessiveness involved.

another indicator of possessiveness and jealousy is mars or sun in 3rd/8th/11th/12th house synastry. you're making each other jealous on purpose, poking and testing each other, driving and provoking each other like crazy. 'enemies to lovers' type or lovers to enemies lmao. turning each other but hating each other at the same time with your words etc...

Okay whew that would be it for now. Let me know if you want more of it :) Also I'm doing paid reading, so if you're interested dm me.

TikTok: @ astronotebook

Instagram: @astronoteb00k

Until the next time!

[eliteseven]

Jealous Shadowheart is my fav tbh but especially in Consonance. What is she going to be like when they make it big, she won't be the only one thirsting after Tav after all 😭😭 Lmao Astral Prism doing a Celebs reading thirst tweets video omfg

Lmao you’re not alone, according to like… all of my asks (and requests now!) she’s everyone’s fave!

When Astral Prism gets big…whew boy 😅 She realizes she should probably put a ring on it ASAP. (Not that Tav has realized literally anyone else exists, ofc. She’s still writing all her songs about Jen and pining for her even though they are very much a couple and share a home bc she’s down bad like that).

Reading thirst tweets is too good 😭 I feel like Tav is used to the fact that Shadowheart is simply ethereal and the focal point of the band, so she’s just nodding along in agreement to the tweets and occasionally lifting a brow at some of the more forward ones, but she’s pretty chill.

Tav is pretty humble and unassuming (read: oblivious) about how she herself is a catch, so the first time she reads the ones written for her she nearly falls out of her chair. They probably have to do multiple takes bc Shadowheart is like… muttering obscenities behind the camera 💀 (Wyll talks her down, Karlach eggs her on bc it’s funny, ofc). The woman simply does not like to share 🤷🏻‍♀️

And Tav truly is oblivious. I feel like she’s not super social media savvy and is unaware that she has like 2000 thirst DM’s sitting in her inbox bc she’s busy saving her fave vids of Shadowheart performing and like…recipe videos to show Emmeline 😭

[eerna]

Hi! So idk if you remember but I told you I purchased the Daevabad Trilogy. I'm currently reading the first book and I just wanted to share my findings; dialogues are so fun!! esp the ones in Ali's pov; the ones involving the king, his bro and Kaveh Something about their dynamics

A literal daeva, Dara, asking Nahri what is wrong with her because she said she'd steal what she could for her livelihood made me cackle

Nahri's shrewd observation about lovesick couples who don't care about the consequences then getting toblate stage syphilis,, all while she's being in her own hormonal headspace lmao

I'm currently a little past halfway thru and Nahri have been dragged thru the desert for almost the entire half of it, while Ali has been shown places and stuff by about three different peoples, whew idk what to make of that,, but it sure is funny observing it lol

//haven't read a lot of middle eastern set stories and I'm really loving this one. S. A Chakraborty is really great at scene setting. I can picture all the beautiful places

Thanks for your fanart of the series!! 🌷🌷

(question, does River of Silver have any appearance of Nahri or is it a prequel? I kinda already spoiled myself with the ending of the series so I'm fine with spoilers really)

WOOOOO I'm glad you're having fun with the books, and liked the art~ Ali my beloved little wonder, all his scenes are showstealers, that boy sure can talk! Nahri deciding possible pregnancy and syphilis are totally worth it for this hot daeva dude right at the beginning of book 1 sets up her character for the rest of the books perfectly. And yeah, the first half of book 1 is very very slow worldbuilding on Nahri's part while Ali is being thrown about like a chewtoy between the different political factions of the city as the reader is holding on for dear life trying to remember it all, and that's what fantasy is all about babyyyy I love it when books do that!! Shannon's ability to paint a place in such vivid detail is by far her strongest suit as a writer, she is absolutely fantastic at it!

RoS started out as a collection of deleted scenes from the main books, some prequel "fanfiction", and then finally became a canon collection of short stories that also include 2 epilogues for the trilogy! So yes, it is a prequel, but it also includes stories set during and after the books, and Nahri is heavily present. Have funnn~

[winterchimez]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny. ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

hi anon-ie!! yayyyy ok this is so fun imma just *rubs hands* cook up some scenarios 😋 (tagging the ones i talk to on a daily basis!! 💗)

@sungbeam acedemic rivals - theres something about you just being rivals with changmin and it gets on your nerve whenever he outperforms you but then all that bickering slowly turn into romance and thats something i will be watching from afar with my popcorn.

@from-izzy strangers to lovers - you and hyunjae (as much as i wanna mention the other guy but i won't bcs im trying to be nice 🥰) would meet as strangers on your first day of uni orientation, seemingly also ends up as deskmate in class and boom hes the goofy funny guy, always trying to get you involve in activities when you're just shy and reluctant and then the both of you start falling for each other

@daisyvisions best friends to lovers - we all know how much you love this, esp with hyunjae when yall be doing things that are pretty much obvious that's more than just friends 😏 so by the time yall end up together its more of a meh we've already done this before but then it gets awkward cs you're both now labelled as bf/gf

@aimeecarreros / @momhwa-agenda enemies to lovers - bcs of what you told me yesterday....but juyeon who's always teasing and bullying you...but then it's bcs he actually likes you sm but bcs of his ego he refuses to believe nor accept reality...but then it eventually hits him and hes confronted by you with a revenge dress and he goes oh. 😌

@snowflakewhispers mutual pining - realistically you and jacob would be having feelings for each other but then you both have your doubts (even though you don't look like it when you have beef with me everyday 🙄 HOWEVER it'll be cute but then the rest of us at the side will be all frustrated (aka me, daisy, elena) be like HE ALSO LIKES YOU BACK WTF but you're just "IDK MAN I DONT THINK HE WOULD"

@kimsohn unrequited love (but with a happy ending) - sunwoo's been head over heels over you since day one but you're always just ignoring his advnaces be like "this dude is hella weird", this goes on until one day you eventually see the other side of him, he makes you blush and he gets a high and giddy be like "okay confirmed maya likes me now i've won in life"

@justalildumpling rich kid au - ok i know it sounds cliché but hear me out!! na jaemin aka the rich boy from uni and he gets all the girls and naturally you fall for him too cs hell hes a fine-looking man but then maybe one day you are forced to live with him and thats when you see his true colours which makes you go ew, but then bcs of your personality you'll be like "i will change this man" (which you do) and he realises that you're not like the other girls out there

@ethereal-engene coffeshop au - you just give me calm sunshine vibes so!! you and woozi in the coffee shop, woozi as the barista (WHEW WITH A WHITE SHIRT- 😮‍💨) either you both work tgt as coworkers and eventually become a couple, or you would often visit the store not just for the good coffee but also for the good looking barista 👀

@drunkdrazed childhood friends to lovers - you're literally the sweetest human being so it would only be appropriate for this trope!! either with ten / jacob, you would fit so well 🥺 love the way how yall know literally anything abt each other and when yall reach uni / work and thats when you both realised that you're falling for one another instead 🫶

@h0mebody-heaven soulmate au - you're so funny and another ball of energy!! i can't imagine a better soulmate for hendery than you! lmao i can imagine all the chaos, the jokes that you both are gonna pull, probably asks you to film plenty of questionable tiktoks but then you oblige bcs YOLO 🤭

@strayed-quokka established relationship - do i need to say more, husband sangyeon and you're the housewife. you can replay that scenario in your mind.

@sanaxo-o arranged marriage - chanhee the rich son of dior's ceo ✨ but imagined getting pampered by him??? what a life it'll be 😮‍💨

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep. 4 Rewatch Thoughts Pt. 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Ok Rain, you and I both know you didn't sleep through this honey

Phayu looks unconvinced as well lmao - do you see this eyebrow raise?

Slightly controversial opinion, but I actually love that I occasionally hear fabric rustling and other mic interference. It adds a messy and fun element to the scenes that make them feel more real to me. Here, we heard what is probably Phayu's shirt slide against the mic as he leans into Rain.

The first time I watched this, I had to pause and raise my eyebrows ngl. Supremely unprepared for this relatively simple sequence and in the end highkey felt like I got slapped in the face (but in a funny way).

Boss looks so intense and good here

Taking it from the top

down

down

down

(including this shot bc wow Boss has big hands)

and...

(we just got to the halfway point y'all... whew)

I've never heard of this seduction technique before. Phayu, you might be the only one this works on (I feel seduced but not in a sexy way, more like if I was a cat I'd make biscuits on Rain's tummy)

I don't have a whole lot of commentary on this part aside from they're both adorable and I love the way Phayu likes to drag Rain physically closer to him whenever they talk. I think physical touch is really important to Phayu and I love how Rain basically preens under the attention every time Phayu touches him

I have literally seen this 12 times. Every time I'm like OMFG THEY ARE ABOUT TO KISSSSSSSS

But NO, freaking P' Saifah couldn't wait outside for one more minute. At least he has the decency to give them a countdown do-over. Phayu looks like he considering the merits of ending his twin while Rain is just distressed. I love how they framed these shots of P' Saifah with his body physically dividing the screen between Phayu and Rain's faces which are blurry in the background. This drama uses physical blocking very creatively in my opinion.

P' Saifah I'm going to reach through the nth dimension just to SHAKE YOU I mean seriously how could you not see Phayu and Rain were having a MOMENT

But it does lead to this stellar headpat so I'm not too mad (the 7th one in the series, if I'm not mistaken), plus Rain's praise kink gets activated (seriously, just watch him reminisce about the headpat that just happened)

AHHHH Rain looks SO HAPPY to see that Phayu wrote him a lil note and helped him out - I mean it's no wonder Phayu would bend over backwards just to put that expression on Rain's face from here on out

Including this shot to praise the lighting directors bc it's beautiful, as is our hard at work Rain

I think it could have been really cool if they had Rain use his lucky triangle ruler thing (that Phayu gave him) here, bc that would have been an extra layer of symbolism. I think if they were going to include it as a serendipitous plot point, it would have been better to introduce it this way rather than stick it in a glass case.

GOOD WORK BBY!!! Your reward comes later though

AND the first thing he thinks of after is...

LOOK at him being a responsible student! He's only got two left and then he's doneeeeee (unlike me, I still have so much to do lmao and yet here I am) - (OK I wrote this earlier part two days ago and at the time of writing this sentence I am DONEEE so me *join hands emoji* Rain: done with finals)

My plans for the next 48 hours:

Except this boy gets revived at the thought of seeing his pseudo-bf and runs immediately bolts out of bed 2 seconds later. Ngl if I had a Phayu I'd probably do the same, but since I'm a single pringle it's just me and my clean sheets

Ok, now where have we seen almost this exact color combo before?? Mayhaps you can scroll up a couple pictures...

Basically, I think this is the production crew's way of telling you Rain's about to get smooched by Phayu. Also Rain's changed clothes from the previous scene so he really cleaned up to go to the garage awww

I love that Rain tells himself he should be using this time to sleep, then shrugs at himself and goes to Phayu anyway. Priorities, priorities

Yay, P' Saifah is here to guide Rain to Phayu!! The in-laws are getting a lot of interaction these days hehe. Also look at how eager Rain looks here - full on puppy mode (I met a cockapoo puppy named Molly today so I know my comparison is accurate)

I like that P' Saifah is talking Phayu up to Rain - not that Rain needs any more convincing that Phayu is the coolest mechanic ever. It's the thought that counts though.

For some reason, this shot of Rain and this shot of Phayu make me laugh. Rain's just standing there like some guy when we all know he's thee guy and Phayu is making the "this is so sus" face

The interaction between the three of them right after is so funnyyy - my favorite part is P' Saifah calling his big bro out - this is prime younger sibling behavior. Also Phayu pretending to be a grump - he's just kiss deprived is all (that problem is about to be solved tho)

I also like how I though Rain was going to be the possessive one but Phayu is out here with raised hackles even though P' Saifah is just being friendly to press his buttons (again, prime little sibling behavior). Please observe how pleased Rain looks about this though!

Me + P' Saifah: Phayu you're a SIMP

Ok I like that they included this shot of PhayuRain for no discernable reason (bc it cuts to them walking over to the other part of the garage right after it) other than to show us Phayu looking at Rain fondly with his eyebrows raised

I also love how Rain immediately reports that his work is done (likely so he could get praised) but then Phayu counters with "did you sleep?" to which the answer is no. Rain's like "ahhh we can't win with this one uff" (don't worry bff, your reward is en route)

On to part 4!! I'm hoping it's the last one or none of you are gonna want to read it (this is a lie, there are 5 parts bc I have no self control when it comes to taking screenshots of PhayuRain)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[de4dlyniightshade]

heyy :) erm im gonna fangirl really quick and then the request will be at the end incase you wanna skip to that part or anything, lol. okay so this is very much unnecessary and unasked for and blah blah but i don't care! i believe writers need to hear how much we appreciate them and their works because whew mama! ive been trying to write fics for like months and it actually is so horrible. i genuinely start to angrily vibrate bc my thoughts don't flow on the notes app. but i just wanted to say, nightshade, (ehehe that's so cheeky and silly for some reason) that i reallyyy love your work. its actually like horrific how much your writing just makes me so 😜😊🤭 i know you're not like a celebrity or anything, so it's gonna be weird with this like mini parasocial relationship thing, but please know your work has an impact !! a few months ago, i did something extremely bad and out of character while i was spiraling, and i decided that the best decision for me would be to quit using social media. (and beforehand i had quit using tiktok for like 7 months already and i wasn't that addicted to my phone but i still was consuming negative media) so, ofc, i stopped completely for a good month or so and only ever using youtube every now and then. buttttt, one of the first social media platforms i came back to first... was tumblr! it's actually so silly too because i only used tumblr like 4 times beforehand so i was quite new. but anyway anyway (im a yapper UGH) i really found that your posts had made me feel happy :) idk they kinda reminded me of myself before i went big bad that one time and it made me inspired to go back to how i used to be... u get me?? you're writing literally haunts my brain oh my lord it should be illegal to read your stuff because afterwards i literally have this crazy ass urge to read more and more and more. im lowkey an addict cause i be having my deadlynightshade withdrawals. the way you write is just so 😫 gosh, it's beautiful. i also love ur sillyness because like ME TOO. your random little posts are so me coded and i love it. YOU'RE SO FUNNY 😭 uhmm i just wanted to say thanks for being super cool and talented because believe it or not, the stuff you put out makes me really happy! (that was so melodramatic like mf they write about spencer being a pathetic pussy drunk bitch why are you saying it changed ur life?? its true tho.) erm yeah that's the end of that part i just again wanted to thank you 🙏 i wish we were friends SO BAD like you're actually awesome what the fuck.... but like how do u even become friends w ppl?? LMAO ERM ANYWAY 😍 can you write a blurb or h.c or something (honestly anything will make me happy) about valentine's day?? 🤭 basically spencer being SO FUCKING SHY because you can't stop touching his hands or hair subtly or like kissing his cheek leaving marks from lipstick or like getting him his favorite snacks/drinks/books/textures/ basically a gift that made u think about him?? ugh or him doing the same with you like him being the best fucking nerd boy ever and spoiling you so much like he goes ape shit spending well over his funds limit but it's worth it because it's you? or like sweet soft cutie pie sex? at the end of the day and he's like... Erm.. Pussy for 1 please! you were so pretty today... You always are-! (I'm mentally ill and writing this at 8:37 pm on a thursday night.)

this is. the sweetest shit anyone has ever said to me i actually cried ngl to you.

i'm genuinely so thankful for the little community i have created here i never expected such an insane amount of positivity and love from people just for the whack ass shit i write but that's probably just my perpetual self hatred and disbelief that people enjoy anything about me🤞

i think it's crazy how people on the internet who have never met me, don't know me, what i look like, or anything can treat me better than any of my friends have and i'll always be thankful for that.

ALSO! i love being called funny pls kiss me i never think i'm actually funny istg

i was also planning on writing a valentines fic ALREADY but this made me wanna write it even more as a thank you for this message it genuinely made my week(can't promise it ON TIME for valentines but i can try!)

i'm also so glad that my work and blog makes you happy, there's no privilege greater than making someone smile even when they don't feel like it</3

[tickle-bugs]

@ticklishraspberries tagged me in this a billion years ago and bc i'm literally the worst im doing it late. thank u for the tag lovely!!!

❤️ Newest obsession: no obsessions really!! probably healthy overall lol but i strangely haven't been like consumed by a fandom in a very very long time. i've been enjoying my adventures with superman s2, critical role (surprising no one), dead boy detectives, and dungeon meshi lately tho!!

🎥 Last three movies I watched and what I thought of them:

as much as it physically pains me, i'm gonna skip this one. im a big film nerd and all my friends know what movies i'm gonna see when so i'm nervous they'll ID me on this blog thru my letterboxd LMAO

🎶 Three songs I’ve discovered recently and loved: trying to be original and not talk about anything super popular rn lmfao

Killer Shangri-Lah by Pshychotic Beats (found this through killing eve hehe)

Run Your Mouth - The Marias

Slowly Spilling Out - Saint Motel

💘 Newest Fav Ships: none atm really? eve/villanelle from killing eve comes to mind since i just finished the show. any combination of charles, edwin, and monty from dead boy detectives (and crystal/niko BIG TIME) come to mind. not much in the way of new tho. just my usual bullshit.

📺 Currently Watching: critical role c2 (still lol). i finished most of the shows i was watching atm. might start house of the dragon or the acolyte soon tho!

📖 Currently Reading: haven't read anything in a while :( i JUST redid my bookshelf today tho so hopefully i can change that

🎮 Currently Playing: baldur's gate 3 has my soul and will not return it

😍 Currently Looking Forward To: getting back into writing (hopefully. fingers fucking crossed)

✅ Recently finished: not -technically- done yet but deep cleaning my room! it's done so much for my mental health to redo my space from the ground up :)

💌 Something to share: for the first time in almost a decade im working on a lego set and when i tell you i am healed? whew

tagging @thebest-medicine @fickle-tiction @kourtniwritesagain but absolutely no pressure!!!

[dreams-and-honor]

OKAY Am thinking about Sol's in-game interactions and boss mechanics a lot so I'm gonna ramble about them.

Under cut for length lmao

OKAY, so first encounter, since Sol's gimmick is puzzles, I can imagine him putting Vincent through an excruciatingly tedious puzzle level. Like, he shows up, and he and Vincent just kind of stare at each other for a moment. Vincent is like "Let me guess, a Tsviet?" and Sol just nods. Then suddenly mako construct bullshit and I'm not really sure WHAT kind of puzzle it would be but when Vincent finally finishes it, Sol is just kind of standing there and Vincent is like ???? Sol starts talking finally, but it kind of sounds like he's mumbling to himself like "Vincent Valentine... Competent and capable... Threat capacity is unknown at this time... I'm... Going. I'm going to go. I am Sol the Ultraviolet. Goodbye, Vincent Valentine...." and then fucks off to god knows where.

Then the second time you see him, he seems a little more stern, seemingly irritated at seeing him again. I think it would be around the Train Graveyard stage. He's like "You shouldn't have been able to come this far, you're not supposed to be here. Azul should have killed you, why aren't you dead?" and Vincent says some comment about Azul that gets Sol bristling. He lets a little rage slip, Vincent's like "Oh this guy is unhinged." and makes another tentative comment about Azul to test the waters. Sol flares up again and attacks Vincent, starting the boss fight. There's random dialogue during the fight between Vincent and Sol where Vincent keeps antagonizing him and then you get chances to shoot at pieces of Sol's dampening armor. When you finish his health bar, a little cutscene plays of Vincent shooting Sol's dampening helmet and it breaks off just enough that you can see the most enraged right eye of all time and Sol sounds super unhinged when he retreats saying "If I don't finish you off, Azul will."

His LAST boss fight is after Vincent defeats Azul, just a little bit after Vincent enters Deepground, where the most feral with rage Sol stops Vincent and is like "YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED HIM, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! DIE! YOU NEED TO DIE!" and then all of his dampening armor just drops to the ground and it's like zero suit samus only a pretty boy who's literally insane with rage. His fight consists of physical attacks with his constructs and his very annoying to dodge mako energy discharges. When you beat him finally, he starts spasming with discharges, stumbling around before dropping to the ground and crying out for Azul as he convulses. He reaches out and a single construct of a mako tear rolls down his face before all his light-up bits go dim and his mako energy dissipates for the last time.

ANYWAYYYY, that's my game canon at least. :'D

WHEW, that was a lot lmao.

[therhythmafterthesummer]

You're so valid for your love for Blesch, but also wanting to rant about its flaws lmao. Loving Bleach is not easy 💀 Also, Rukia? Taste.

you've got no idea what you've just unleashed inside me rn.

i am SO sorry for who i'm about to become..... but.....

listen, bleach was my e v e r y t h i n g for such a long time... ichigo and rukia were my comfort characters, i was obsessed with every single character in that anime/mang, their relationships (platonic or not, it didn't matter, i just loved how they interacted with each other). and the whole concept of it was SO cool and their powers were so so cool..... but what the FUCK was that final arc in the manga???? i can't let it go. i just can't. i gave so much of my energy and time to bleach and it just.... ended Like That??????

they did my boy Chad SO dirty. they did EVERYONE so, so dirty.... absolutely senseless. i'm gonna leave spoilers for bleach's ending since i think the last arc of the manga is currently being aired?

ANYWAY:

how the FUCK does Chad ending up as a fucking BOXER make any sense??????? his whole thing was that he didn't want to use violence!!!!! that he only used it to protect his friends!!!!!! he was THE gentle giant!! and Kubo fucking.... makes him A FUCKING BOXER????

and????? ICHIGO?????? RETURNING TO THE HUMAN WORLD TO WORK IN THE FAMILY CLINIC???? HELLO???????? AFTER IT'D BEEN REPEATED TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT HE ONLY FELT COMPLETE AS A SHINIGAMI????? HELLOOOO???? KUBO I'M SORRY I'M TAKING YOUR CHARACTERS AWAY FROM YOU, YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING.....

AND DON'T GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON RUKIA AND ORIHIME......... THEM ENDING UP ESSENTIALLY AS nuclear family women uwu LIKE???????????????????????????? HELLO????????????????????????????'

HOW ARE YOU JUST GONNA THROW ALL THAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AWAY???? EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IMPROVEMENT AND SELF DISCOVERY WAS LITERALLY SHOVED DOWN THE TOILET WITH THAT ENDING??????

I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW THE FINAL BATTLE WENT... I JUST REMEMBER IT WAS STUPIDLY UNDERWHELMING???? AND THAT I FELT CHEATED OUT OF SOMETHING THAT HAD BEEN SO IMPORTANT TO ME????????????

whew... okay. sorry about that..... i'm back to being normal, i promise......

rukia is the fucking queen of my heart. she's my everything and i'm taking her away from that man's (kubo's) grubby hands sdjfsdhfkjsdhfsdjkf

[sundaynightlive]

My Live Heartstopper 2 Reactions

Right so this is an EXTREMELY long post and I know nobody cares but it helped me get all my emotions out in a healthy way instead of punching walls so that’s a plus 👍🏻. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS, so be warned, aight? Some of my reactions are genuinely funny—wish I had filmed myself because oh boy.

(TW: Eating disorders and homophobia. Also: Chaos, spoilers, and unhealthy fangirling).

Episode 1

Oh my god I’m literally more nervous for this than I was for my tattoo I’m gonna cry

HI ❤️

Charlie you better eat that cereal why are you just holding it.

The soundtrack is already banging holy balls.

THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE OH MY GOSH.

AGGRESSIVE KISSING OH MY GOD THAT WAS CRAZY THE PASSION I—

They’re so happy. I’m so happy they’re happy. And the smile every time they greet each other. And they’re BESTIES which is SO REAL.

THE UPSIDE-DOWN KISS SHOT WAS MAGICAL—

Ooh I missed the little sparkles of Heartstopper

Need this tattooed on my body fr.

Elle is gorgeous. Elle is gorgeous. Elle is gorgeous and I love her. She’s gorgeous. Oh my gosh my sapphic heart wants her so bad.

That was weird. Oop—that product placement is as a tiny bit goofy? Was the product placement? I’ve only read one book.

No she fancies Ben—I already can see it coming. No NO NO NO NO IMOGEN NO.

Oh I can feel the stress. I have to look up what this test is I guess because I can FEEL the stress—NEVERMIND I KNOW WHAT THE STRESS IS—

This is an incredible scene. Oh my FUCKING god.

This teacher is really doing the most for no reason.

I NEED YOU.

Of course Harry’s out here saying some slightly misogynistic shit out the gate.

Elle and Tao will be magical together I already know.

YES OH MY GOD THEY GET DOODLES TOO?????? YESSSSSSS.

Bro is this product placement or is it in the comics. It must be in the comics and I just don’t know about it lmao. Because otherwise this product placement is WILD.

UH OH NO UH OH STOP PLEASE I CAN’T—alright it’s fine. Everything’s fine. Deep breaths. Whew all good.

As a partially-closeted gay person that was a lot for me.

I love Tori and her actress so much (is actress still a real term??? I feel like it’s not).

This is cute huh.

I love Imogen. I love Imogen. She’s so cute.

SHE’S AN ALLY IM PISSING—

God Elle is gorgeous in every scene.

Tao’s hair isn’t even bad idk what everybody was saying in the first season it’s goofy but it’s not the worst haircut in the world.

THAT WAS SO INTENSE. THEY HAVE CRAZY CHEMISTRY WHAT????!?????

Isaac always reading is such a vibe he just likes to be in the room with everyone and it’s so me.

You got this Nick. I love you and I believe in you.

Woah Tao. Simmer down babe.

YOU GOT THIS! YOU GOT IT! They are so supportive it’s so wonderful this is so sweet fuck me.

THAT WAS SO GOOD.

“I’m sorry I don’t actually know how to react,” IS A PERFECT REACTION FUCK.

Oh balls I KNEW IT.

They’re girls together. I love watching girlhood between queer people. This show is everything.

Hands ✨

I wish I had this many friends.

HI LEAVES HOW ARE YOU—AHHHHHHHH KISSES YES. This is kind of a lot for being in front of everyone.

Darcy is so real.

Not the hanky panky.

BRING ON THE BROTHER. This is the bullshit fuckery im excited for I want nick to DESTROY HIS HOMOPHOBIC BROTHER. Verbally, of course.

Episode 2

Why is everyone struggling? I kind of hate this trope so much my grades did not slip when I got in a secret homosexual relationship I was literally valedictorian I promise it’s not that distracting.

Bros being so mean wtf.

Woah I have never seen Charlie looking so much like Joe.

Mum’s sassy woah.

DAVID. BRING ON THE BROTHER. FIST FIIIIIIIGHT.

Sorry I’m just excited.

Kit Connor is so pretty.

I FORGOT CHARLIE’S A DRUMMER THAT’S SO RANDOM AND COOL.

Not the WHAT with the blank expression.

Wait that is so cute #meandmygf when both our parents are psycho conservatives #starcrossedlovers

❤️

Ben and Imogen is such a fucking no I feel sick. I am literally sick.

I know all these extras are so freaking excited to be here—I love them all.

Who tf says ‘eve’ in a text?

Ben’s weird ass look lmao.

This is goofy and I love it. Fuck off Ben stop with that state.

Dude Mr. Farouk needs to chill so hard.

SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN. GET HIM NICK. SICK EM. EAT SHIT.

Broooo why would you put them in a room together are you frickin serious?????

NICK YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE HIM I hate Ben so much I what a perfect perfect perfect gray-area villain

David what are you even talking about rn.

God they are good together are you kidding? They casted so perfectly I’ve never been more in love with a couple in my life. They are phenomenal actors because idk how they could be like this and not be in love.

The SOUNDTRACK ARE YOU KIDDING

“I think Nellie loves him” NO YOU

The queer extras are my favorite in the whole world.

NON-BINARY PERSON oh my god hi me too

God she’s perfect here. To be fair she’s just generally perfect. THE THREE OF THEM ARE PERFECT.

What a lovely conversation for this show to have, so simple and so chill and so real.

Oh Tao. I love you I wish I could give you a hug, poor dude.

If Ben fucks up Nick’s math exam istg—

Oh Imogen—I’m so sorry sweetheart.

Oh shit fuck this feels like such unnecessary stress I hate hate hate hate hate this—NO BRO RAISE YOUR HAND AND TELL HER—

Bro if he’s in trouble I’m gonna lose it I will literally be so sad.

Elle is stunning.

Elle he likes you oh my god ELLE HE LIKES YOU.

Gosh she’s tall too I love tall women.

Bro what marvel movie were they watching ????? Hello ????? Also—David is still here isn’t he?

NELLIE IS PERFECT.

No no no no no no no no no bro I’m gonna be physically ill.

PUNCH THAT MF IN THE FACE holy FUCK.

Oh my god this is so sad, but also definitely the conflict I’m here for and not this schoolwork shit. I hate schoolwork conflicts.

It’s not your fault Charlie I’m so sorry.

God Mom he needs you right now are you serious?????

We all know damn well you did not eat at Nick’s.

To be so fair this is exactly what happened to me and my gf when we started telling people it just became a mess.

Oh god the voice memo was perfect Nick. That was such a perfect way to get your sincerity across. Wow I LOVE that.

CUT YOUR HAIR OUT OF JEALOUSY TAO !!!

That’s half a joke.

But I would do it (I’m crazy and petty).

Cantonese is very soft or maybe it was just the way she said it but my ears liked it.

I deadass thought she was gonna be right behind him lmao.

Episode 3

IKEA??????? Boy.

Aw nice boys. Thank you.

The way Otis just looked back like bro are you serious—

Damn it he almost had it shit.

Charlie and Joe are ebbing and flowing and I love that he’s like 15-dimensional it’s so nice and natural I love Joe he is so talented.

YAY SHE IS SO NICE ARE YOU SERIOUS???? SHE HAS A WIFE. My girlfriend did women’s rugby gayest sport in the world. I literally just jumped up and down this show is so good fuck.

HER LITTLE GIGGLE SDFGHJKL

Tao not on the school computer wtf.

I’m like actually stressed about Charlie’s paper and Nick’s math I remember being stressed and fucked up by these things and I do not like the coursework issues as pieces of plot it really gets me—not to say it’s the show’s fault. I think that’s just because school killed me.

Oh Tara and Darcy.

I am in fear. I am currently in very much fear.

Ben looks like such an ass fr.

DARCY’S SARCASM IM PISSING—

HE IS SO SWEET ABSOLUTELY SO SWEET. HOLY PISS AND SHIT THIS IS PERFECT. AND HIS HAAAAAAIR. OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.

THAT WAS ADORABLE.

They are very good together.

The 1975???? Slay?????

I LOVE TORI. IM PISSING.

“Look after him. Or you die.”

The most unrealistic thing about this show is that people don’t know they’re together when they’re always standing so fucking close together and glancing at each others’ mouths.

Now why is that popcorn so big.

Bro Elle looks perfect all the time I would also be awkwardly silent next to her.

Oh Tara.

Joe and Nick look SO GOOD in these outfits.

Elle definitely put her hand there on purpose so he’d grab it.

BRO WHAT IS GOING ON THIS IS PAINFUL.

I take it back Nick should’ve been wearing different pants.

Oh no this is literally my nightmare.

Bro Harry putting his arm around Nick like nothing’s wrong and the panic that must be flooding through Nick’s veins is so FUCKING REAL I have been in situations so similar to this and if he comes out now I will never forgive Alice because this is a horrific time for this.

I am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the studio today.

Oh Tao I love you I’m so sorry. God he is so me. God what a nice hug. I feel so bad for him. Holy fuck.

And CHARLIE god this is my nightmare.

Oh Nick too.

EVERYONE IS SAD AND I AM SAD.

Oh baby oh my god.

Charlie is a literal angel AND SO IS NICK’S MOM.

YOU DON’T OWE THEM ANYTHING. THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING MESSAGE.

Oh Charlie my heart aches for you.

Episode 4

Charlie why wouldn’t you sit next to each other???? Charlie???? What is this madness?????

Tao’s hair is slaying.

Mr. Farouk is crazy.

Paris is gonna fix everything I see.

Okay Nick and Tao getting together makes my heart absolutely so full.

NICK’S DAD IS FRENCH??????? Bro I need to read these don’t I?

Aw Mr. Farouk’s little smile.

Darcy is fantastic at changing the subject I wish I had the skill.

Bro Ben’s whole role this season is glaring I’m pissing myself giggling about it.

Bro read the ROOM of COURSE they wanted to share.

Um why is their room so tiny????

Even their hands look perfect together god DAMN.

WAIT Tao that was so fucking sweet.

NO THIS IS THE HICKEY SCENE. THIS IS THE HICKEY SCENE. OH MY GOD IS THIS THE HICKEY SCENE?

Incredible like delivery Kizzy FUCK I loved that.

Also it was not the hickey scene.

Ben looks so unenthused with Imogen at all times and I’m pissed about it.

Jesus that was rude Ben. Fuck you.

This is so weird but I wanna know what order they shot these scenes in bc the whole bus scene Farouk kept being all smiley towards Ajayi but now he’s like super unimpressed with him and it’s not tracking but honestly that’s kind of sweet and almost like foreshadowing I love it.

Tao. Looks. So. Good.

ELLE’S BOOTS ARE FIRE ARE YOU SERIOUS?????

Charlie just grab his hand there’s literally no one around.

NICK BEING FLUENT IN FRENCH IS SO GOOD AND IMPRESSIVE DOES CHARLIE KNOW?????

Also Kit Connor speaking French is just ahhhhhh

TARA’S A DANCER??? ME TOO. ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO.

Darcy is so my girlfriend. Don’t worry Tara she’ll come around I promise. My girlfriend didn’t say I love you back to me for months babe. It’s just hard for some people.

Charlie…

God Paris is beautiful.

Straight people are so goofy thinking relationships mean you stop being friends.

BRO THIS SONG GOES CRAZY????

Okay the yelling was so funny.

They’re perfect together for real.

The BUTTERFLIES???? THE BUTTERFLIES????

I actually love Imogen so much. Ben needs to get his greasy hands off her fr.

Darcy’s non-binary shirt is everything. Thank you Heartstopper, thank you Kizzy.

WHY IS CHARLIE BY BEN???? WHO ALLOWED THIS?????

NO. NO NO NO. NO.

Okay. Deadass, I wish I had recorded myself—The whole conversation just went down, and I sat there with my hand shaking around my face, and when HARRY went “There’s no reason to call her a bitch” I fucking LOST MY MIND because you know it’s bad when HARRY SAYS SOMETHING OBJECTIVELY CORRECT. I deadass SCREAMED.

Oh Imogen so wrong but also so cute about it anyway.

Tao and Nick talking makes my heart so happy I want them to be besties.

This is so sweet. Fuck.

Is Nick’s dad a factor here? Because I’m stressed.

I love when my gf hugs me like that.

“Giant Rugby idiot”

Wait this is wild oh my god?????

Real talk—when my gf gets that close to me and is kissing my neck I do not silently stare at the ceiling but I get it we’re innocent and sweet in this house.

Bro the hickey reveal is SO GOOD.

Episode 5

Oh his dad is ghosting him fuck.

Soundtrack going off again

Also unrealistic—giving a hickey without knowing how? You have to suck SO HARD bro—

I’m fully laughing my ass off.

TAO’S EYES I—

I just screamed “OH MY GOD THIS SHOT IS INCREDIBLE THIS IS ART” at the top of my lungs and the neighbors definitely heard but BLURRY BEN SITTING IN BETWEEN MATCHING NICK AND CHARLIE WHEN HE LEARNS ABOUT THE HICKY???? 10/10 cinema. Give it an Oscar right now.

That’s the biggest croissant I have ever seen.

BEN BLURRY IN THE BACKGROUND OF THESE SHOTS IS JUST SO—

Joe Locke is gorgeous I can’t. He’s like literally a sculpture.

SHUT UP HARRY.

Oh my fucking god.

“I don’t give a rats ass rudeboy, grow up” is the single greatest like in all of Heartstopper and I will tattoo it on my body.

What is Nick’s outfit? Why do they keep giving him ridiculous pants?

Tao and Elle are a fucking gorgeous couple.

GO OFF ISAAC. GO OFF.

Kizzy and Corinna are just ah just god just I want them both just AH.

THAT FRAME OF BEN AND NICK IS FUNNIER THAN THE ONE THAT WENT VIRAL.

I hate Ben. I am going to cry.

I’m scared Charlie’s going to pass out. Imagine he just falls off the tower lmao what a twist one of them literally dies 😭😭

HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! Good job Isaac.

Okay he JUST called are you serious?

Tao’s fits are fucking fire bro.

SO ARE YOU CHARLIE. SO ARE YOU.

Doing a friend lock instead of a boyfriend one is so real.

I’m really freaked about the end of the season. I feel like I know the storm that’s coming and I don’t know if I can take it.

Nick being able to talk to anyone about everything is the best trope of this entire show. He is truly a saint (Santa Claus type beat lmfao)

No Charlie eat please. I’m begging you. You deserve love and food. I love him. I love this show.

Kizzy is so handsome.

Things are falling apart. I am falling apart. This is bad. This is real bad.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY ELLE AND TAO WHEN I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING ELSEWHERE???????

Yeah okay I’m enjoying it I LOVE THEM!!!!

THE BUTTERFLIES.

Beautiful artist couple.

I wanna understand. He wants. To. Understand. MY PARENTS DIDN’T EVEN— AHHHAGDJAHANDHEJAB he’s a saint.

Nick is about to make me uncontrollably sob.

He was so close to I love you fr.

I hate Nick’s outfit so much.

Charlie finding out he speaks French has me KICKING MY FUCKING FEET AND GIGGLING.

Gets in trouble, “Run!” *runs towards the person getting them in trouble*

They look so genuinely perfect together it’s insane. The casting for this shit is fucking crazy.

Goated soundtrack.

Why does Nick have to be dressed like this though like I get it but I completely do not get it.

I’m uncomfy.

Oh god. He doesn’t know me. This is getting way, WAY to real now.

I just belly laughed at Tao sheepishly shuffling out of the bathroom and going, “I have something to share.”

Okay this is adorable I wish I had friends in high school (or ever)

WAIT OH MY GOD—I was upset they got busted by I AM NOT EVEN REMOTELY UPSET ANYMORE.

This is fucking perfect.

This show does not fail to save me. It saved me with the first season and it’s saving me a second time now.

Isaac in the bookstore is so me.

Oh yes YES YES YES!

The pride street. I’m fucking sobbing.

The hand shot?!?!? THE HAND SHOT?!?!

I really need Tara and Darcy to talk.

Oh no this is not what I want I really do not want this I really don’t like that there is alc here in this situation.

Ben is here??? What???

Everyone and their brother has a crush on Charlie and like I totally get it but also he is so OBLIVIOUS.

LUCY DACUS???? FUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Also the ace/aro representation is so good I fuckin love you Isaac.

“No.”

Okay let me be so real, Harry is an ass but Ben assaulted Charlie and he gets to be here???? Like not that I want Harry to be around either but????? Like?????

WHO INVITED BEN?!?!?

TAO’S SCARY ASS CRAWL I CAN’T—

YES. YES NICK. FUCK IM CRASHING.

Darcy why tho.

They are such good actors it’s so hard to remember they aren’t actually in love.

Not to be delulu but they are so Merlin/Arthur core.

I thought they were about to have an “oh shit I’m about to get turned on” moment but it didn’t go that way.

ONE BED TROPE. YASSSSSS. YASSSS. GAY TEACHERS. YASSSS.

WHAT IS THAT MELODYYYY??????

They sleep like me and my gf do, always switching positions. Got that’s so real. I’m fucking obsessed.

Peach comforter cute as hell.

Good song. Heard it on the soundtrack before.

Holy BALLS JOE LOCKE IS BEAUTIFUL.

YES ELLE! YES ELLE!

TAO PICKING UP HIS MOTHER SUPREMACY

“My summer is for sleeping.” Tori is me.

Ben. Actually piss off. There will be no accidental adultery in this show. I’m manifesting.

Oh Darcy. The purple clouds are amazing detail but Oh Darcy.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

Tell him.

Tell him.

You promised. Tell him.

CONAN GRAY? IN MY CITY?

PHYSICALLY GASPED AT ELLE.

Yes. Yes Isaac yes. Fuck. I love you Isaac. YOU ARE FREE FROM EVERYONE ELSE’S PICTURE OF LIFE. YOU’RE AMAZING. FUCK.

MORE CONAN?

Yes Tao. He’s fucking supportive. I can see it in his face.

THE PAINTING???? THE ART ROOM?????

TAO THAt IS SO FUCKING MATURE.

My parents will never accept me either but I’m not a goddamn predator asshole.

This is fucking RAW. Oh my GOD. God, Charlie that was fucking powerful and perfect. Me too. I feel it. I felt you. AND HE STEPPED AWAY FROM THE RAINBOW HE COULD HAVE GONE IN AND SEEN.

FUCK.

Fuck you David. I already know you’re about to do some DUMB SHIT.

Bro did they not warn Charlie’s parents?????

GO OFF TORI.

Oh my god GO OFF NICK???? GO OFF???? HOLY FUCK????

He’s not a very good dad, is he?

I like Nick’s pink shirt.

I love Tori so fucking much. Oh my GOD.

Your brother’s a prick.

Oh Nick. Oh NICK. Oh Nick.

Darcy, baby. Fuck.

(Good ass soundtrack tho)

Episode 8

I’m so stressed about Charlie. Please no storm.

Okay this time the soundtrack jumped in a little too strong????

SWITCH! SWITCH!

NICK’S OUTFIT IS FIRE (it’s just the jumper but still)

ALLY! ALLY! (Except they’re both gay lmfao)

WINGWOMAN! That’s the word.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

Fuck. I’m gonna sob.

YES THEY’RE CONNECTING.

Me neither.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Noooo Charlie nooooo it’s not gonna be like that. Charlie I’m so sorry. Fuck fuck fuck.

FOLKLORE POSTER??? YES??

GOD ELLE IS GORGEOUS. AND I LOVE HER PARENTS.

CHARLIE LOOKS FANTASTIC WTFFFFFFF.

Isaac with the book I love it.

God Seven’s gonna play about Darcy. Seven’s gonna fucking play about Darcy.

MLM WLW SOLIDARITY

YASSSS GET IT QUEEN!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE TAO’S LITTLE HEARTS?????

AND ELLE HAS THEM OHHHHH MY GOD.

lmao Tori.

Harry 🫠🫠🫠🫠

YES GAY TEACHERS.

Imogen is literally gay lmfao.

YAS ISAAC GOT LEAVES FUCK YES FUCK YES I’m sobbing I love queer joy I’m gonna fall apart

The way VERY OBVIOUSLY QUEER extras are the ones gossiping and stressing Charlie out 😭😭😭

No. No. No.

Fuck that woman so hard oh my god.

TINY NICK.

Me too Darcy. I love you. THEY ARE PERFECT. THEY ARE PERFECT. They are me 😭😭 this is so personal to me.

SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN! ITS SO SAPPHIC! ITS SO THEM!

These people have got to know they are making something so FUCKING special for queer people. This is my next tattoo for sure.

Queer joy.

THEY LOOK MARRIED!!! THEY LOOK MARRIED!!!!?

THIS IS SO DOMESTIC.

Please talk to him.

Do not fight right now I swear to god.

You don’t have to be perfect with me.

Oh Charlie oh my god. Nick’s fuckiNG TEARS—I just.

This scene. Is. Perfect. Fuck.

THE WHISPERING. THE FUCKING WHISPERING. THE BROKEN ASS WHISPERING.

FOREHEAD KISSES????? IN THIS ECONOMY??????

That blue looks GOOD on him.

The storm was a light rain that spilled the rivers over, but it was fun to walk in and the mud made nice pies, and everything was alright, because they made them together.

this SONG????????

BANGING MY HEAD AGAINSST A WALL.

In conclusion, I will be getting a heartstopper tattoo at my nearest convenience. I’ll be sure to post it.

Also, here’s a cookie for lasting this long 🍪

[nectarine-neuroticism]

I was just in tags and wanted to pop in and say, that hate blog? whew boy. wow lol

literally. i was so surprised bc i've never seen that much hatred for him before. he very obviously respects the craft, as he has been acting for 30+ years ... his humor isn't even that out there, either. he's just a little silly and plays into interviews a lot (LIKE SO MANY OTHER ACTORS). it was really bizarre. like, out of all the hollywood folks ... why him? idk if it's jealousy from an 'already successful' actor, or not, but it was weird lmao.

[dawngyu]

GOOD MORNING!! I've been so excited for this—I’ve been waiting oh-so-patiently like the devoted wife I am. (LOL) 💍

spoilers below the cut! you know i can’t resist doing my silly little live reading 😏

FIRST OF ALL, I don’t remember if I’ve already said this, but this Kai?? The banner?? OMG. I just want to squish his cheeks and kiss him until his eyes get all teary. (Sorry, not sorry)

I’m so excited for the friends-to-lovers trope and to see how you bring it to life—OMG!! Thank you for blessing us with 11k words.

I’m already grinning so bad just from the first read—Kai is so deep in with the reader, OMG. PINING TROPE??? I must survive this. And Yeonjun… good lord.

He recites his confession under his breath, making sure he remembers it all still. I’ve been in love with you for years, I can’t imagine my life spent beside anyone but you, and I really hope you’ll be my girlfriend. Whew, he’s still got it.

ASHDADGAH BABY, YOU JUST KNOW HOW TO GET MEEEEE!!! 😭

The whole convo with Yeonjun was so funny and wholesome—I literally can’t stop smiling!!!

He’s scrambling around for the words in his brain, making sure he doesn’t choke on them as soon as you open the door. I love you, I don’t want anyone but you, please be my girlfriend—something like that.

Okay. I’m officially even more in love with you. 😭💖

I love this to my very bones ASDHGADHDGDH!! The way he’s so awkward??? It’s hilarious and adorable at the same time UGH!!!

“Do you wanna hook up with me?” he blurts out, wide-eyed and shaking.

You included this in the teaser, but OMG it’s even funnier seeing how he rehearsed everything, only to say this. POOR BABY. He really tried his best, and I’m losing it.

The poets were right, a kiss with your true love does feel different. This is a high Kai has never felt before, one that leaves him lightheaded and struggling to cling onto reality. God is real, the universe is good, and he’ll devote himself to worshipping you for the rest of his life. His hands find your face with a feather-light touch, unsure how far he should go just yet. One hand tangles itself in your hair, using gentle force to press your face closer to his. He wants to feel your soul enter his body, to become so intertwined that your beings blend into one.

I LEVITATED. NINA. YOUR WRITING PLS

Okay. Sorry, but I got so completely engrossed in the smut that I physically couldn’t type anything… Can I just say it again??? You’re one of the best—if not THE best—smut writers on Blr. Like, truly. I’m in awe.

But on the other side… I totally get Kai. It’s so hard to break that boundary, you know? Being her best friend and all. But at the same time… Yeonjun is SO right, he needs to tell her already. FCK.

“How am I gonna take a step back when I see her and talk to her all the time?” Kai asks. That’s just scratching the surface; he doesn’t even mention how his every thought goes back to you, how everything in the world reminds him of you one way or another. His devotion toward you feels like it’s embedded in his bones, like it’s part of his wiring. There is no him without an undying love for you—the two cannot be separated.

OMG

LMAO, that One Direction convo had me giggling nonstop. they’re literally besties, omo!

“There’s just the capacity for you to be good at sports. And it doesn’t have to be a very physical sport,” she continues. Great—your laughter made the palm reader start scrambling for an explanation. She thinks he’s unathletic now.

AHSDADSGAD

You smile at him. “Is that all you want to say?” you ask.

THE WAY I SCREAMED. THIS IS MAKING MY HEAD HURT.

“So act like it. Pick yourself up and go to her like a man. Quit ruining your own life—she’s not gonna want some bum who can’t even work up enough courage to say he loves her,” Yeonjun says, and his words are harsh, but they strike some kind of determination in Kai. “Dude, I don’t know any guy who deserves her more than you. You’re the best. I mean it. You gotta go get her.”

YEONJUN BEST BOY. HE'S THE MVP

“I love you.” His heart hammers against his chest. “I know,” you say. “No, like—I love you,” he emphasizes, squeezing your hands. You smile. It’s breathtaking. “I know. Yeonjun told me.”

LMAOOO THE WAY I JUST SCREAMED—ALL THIS TIME, JJUNIE?! I love how you did this; the reader slept with Kai fully knowing he’s in love with her… I’m actually unwell.

“In case you pussied out. Which you did,” you answer. “And because he knew I’m in love with you too.”

:(((

You pull away. “I love you too,” you say. “You should be my boyfriend.” Kai’s in disbelief. You love him—the words echo in his mind on a constant loop. He can’t think about anything else; all he can do is pull you back in for another kiss and make it count. This is your first kiss officially together, after all. “You should’ve asked me before,” Kai breathes out, holding your face dearly. “You knew I would’ve said yes.”

Can I get this entire scene tattooed on me, please? It’s just too perfect.

AHHHHHH!! I’m absolutely obsessed with this—you seriously deserve an award for blessing us with multiple god-tier smuts. You did it again, Ninaaa!! I’m so, so in love with this fic (though not as much as I love you ><)!!

this is me after reading this masterpiece btw

pining with a hundred hearts

summary: Confessing to you should be easy. Kai’s got his whole speech prepared, having gone over it about a million times in his head now. All he has to do now is say it exactly as rehearsed. As long as he keeps his cool and doesn’t veer off script, or say something stupid and thoughtless like—“Do you wanna hook up?” he blurts out, wide-eyed and shaking.

…Yeah. Like that.

pairings: huening kai x fem!reader

word count: 11.3k

tags: fluff, smut (mdni), friends to lovers, best friend!kai, yeonjun being a mediocre wingman and the biggest dudebro on earth, kai is a ball of anxiety, a couple religious metaphors, incredible amounts of pining

smut tags: multiple smut scenes… this is only like one step above pwp okay, switch!kai, switch!reader, dry humping, choking (m rec.), unprotected sex, oral (f rec.), car sex, sooo muchhh kissinggg, praise, spit kink kinda, handjob for a second, multiple orgasms

notes: thanks again to this anon for the idea! yes this is another best friend fic i’m sorry i can’t help that this is what calls to me. anyway i hope u luv thisssss!

Kai’s staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, wondering if he should go run and buy flowers or if that would be too corny. He examines his appearance with a critical eye, not wanting to look the slightest bit unattractive when he sees you. A small strand of hair falls into his face, and he pushes it back until he looks perfect again. He tries to imagine how he’d look with a bouquet in his hand.

“Dude, the harder you try, the worse you look.” Kai turns to Yeonjun with a frown, putting his hand back to his side and releasing the imaginary flowers. He deflates when he sees Yeonjun’s unamused expression.

“I’m not good at this stuff like you, though. I don’t know how to ask girls out,” Kai says, moving to sit beside Yeonjun on the edge of the bathtub. He brought Yeonjun here to cheer him on, not to make him feel worse about himself. Kai’s confidence is dwindling the longer he spends in Yeonjun’s presence.

Yeonjun ruffles Kai’s hair, and Kai immediately swats his hand away, scolding him for ruining the hair he had perfectly in place. Kai stretches his neck out to look at himself in the mirror again. He pouts when he sees the mess Yeonjun made.

“Just be normal. She’s your best friend, she’s not gonna bite your head off,” Yeonjun reasons.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Kai says. “Her biting my head off might actually be better. I’m scared of her rejecting me.”

Yeonjun smiles at Kai, making Kai scrunch his brows. It feels like there’s some joke he’s not in on. Before he can ask, Yeonjun’s pushing himself up and off the bathtub, stretching out his legs. Kai looks up at him, wondering how to be even half as carefree as him.

“I’m exhausted,” Yeonjun sighs, looking out the window. Kai doesn’t know what for—only twenty minutes have passed, it definitely wouldn’t be dark out yet. “Let’s just go to her place now.”

Kai’s eyes bug out. “Now?! I’m not ready!”

Yeonjun laughs, “I can promise you that she doesn’t care how you look.” He leaves the bathroom then, and Kai feels like he has no choice but to follow.

He’s so worried, he can’t stop thinking about how you might react to his confession. What if you don’t feel the same? That would crush Kai, but he would never make you feel like you have to say yes to him. He just really, really wants the feeling to be mutual.

Suddenly he’s walking outside with Yeonjun, and he knows exactly where Yeonjun plans on taking him. He recites his confession under his breath, making sure he remembers it all still. I’ve been in love with you for years, I can’t imagine my life spent beside anyone but you, and I really hope you’ll be my girlfriend. Whew, he’s still got it.

“Stop freaking out so much,” Yeonjun says from beside him, snapping Kai back to reality. He blinks at his friend, processing what he said for a few seconds.

“I’m not freaking out.”

“Yes you are, dude. You’re, like, hyperventilating next to me.”

“Oh god, I’m hyperventilating?!” There’s no way he can confess to you like this! He imagines how gross it would be for you to hear him declare his love for you through jagged breaths. He turns around abruptly, ready to walk back home.

Yeonjun stops him with a hand gripping his shirt. “No backing out,” he says, pulling Kai back to him.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Kai says, shaking his head with panicked eyes.

Yeonjun grounds Kai with his hands on his shoulders, making sure he’s looking him in the eyes. “If you don’t do this today, you never will. I’m not letting you walk away now.”

Kai sighs and drops his head in defeat. “Okay, you’re right. Let’s just go.”

Time passes way too quickly, and Kai finds himself standing at your door much too soon. Yeonjun abandons him as soon as your apartment is in sight, telling Kai he’ll be waiting for his success story when he comes back. Kai’s heart is pounding. He really hopes there ends up being a success story to tell.

He’s scrambling around for the words in his brain, making sure he doesn’t choke on them as soon as you open the door. I love you, I don’t want anyone but you, please be my girlfriend—something like that. He’s in the midst of a breathing exercise to calm himself down when the door swings open. He flinches, straightening his posture and sending you a smile.

“Hi Kai,” you say, backing up so he’ll come inside. Is he shaking? It feels like he’s shaking.

“Hi. I have something to tell you.” He wants to slap himself. Why'd he say it like that?! Does he think he’s the grim reaper or something, delivering some message of death?! He sounds so ominous, you must be so scared.

“Alright, let’s go to my room then.” You don’t sound shaken at all. You must be really good at hiding that you’re scared.

When he’s sitting across from you on your bed, he can clearly feel the way his body’s shaking. He almost wants to jump off the mattress so you don’t feel the way he trembles. You’ve done this a million times before, sharing your bed and staring at each other, but it feels so different this time.

You look around the room awkwardly in the midst of Kai’s prolonged silence, then start scrolling through your phone. You’re bored—he’s boring you, he needs to get on with it, this is already going wrong.

He clears his throat, and you return your attention to him. He opens his mouth and already starts stuttering on his words. He shuts up immediately, racking his brain for his confession again, and freaking out when he can’t find it.

“Kai? What’d you wanna tell me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. He just has to spit it out now. He can’t waste your time any longer. He prays the words will just find him if he opens his mouth and starts speaking.

“Do you wanna hook up with me?” he blurts out, wide-eyed and shaking.

Fear crashes upon him so fast. That’s not what he meant to say. He feels the world crumbling around him, and he prays the universe is kind enough to swallow him whole.

Your silence is horrifying him, but he can’t blame you. He should probably see himself out now. You aren’t going to want anything to do with him ever again.

“That’s what you wanted to tell me?” you ask.

Kai gulps. “Um, yes.”

You look him up and down. “You’re shaking so much.” Kai looks down at himself to check. Yep, he sure is.

“Sorry,” he says.

“Are you a virgin?” He can’t be surprised that you asked that; he’s making himself look like the biggest loser ever right now.

“No,” he answers shakily. He’s not super experienced, but he’s definitely not a virgin. He can barely stand looking at you as he waits for your answer, feeling your rejection creeping up on him.

You shrug. “Alright, we can hook up.”

Kai feels his brain start to malfunction all over again. He wasn’t expecting you to agree. You were supposed to scold him and slap him and kick him out of your apartment for asking something so heinous. He’s not sure what to do now. It’s not like he can back out of this—or like he wants to.

“So… can I kiss you?” he asks, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah.” He wipes the sweat off his palms onto his jeans before he leans in to start closing the gap between you. He lets his face hover a few inches away from yours, taking in your beauty from this close up. You’re so pretty that he already feels himself getting hard just looking at you like this. He stares at your lips, thinking about all the hours he’s spent dreaming of how they’d feel against his.

A voice in his head urges him to run away and hide. What if he’s not good enough for you? What if he doesn’t make you cum? Maybe he should just apologize for saying anything and blame it on being drunk or something.

You push forward before he can pull away, and suddenly your lips are on his and fireworks are going off everywhere. Or at least that’s how it feels, Kai doesn’t know—half of his thinking prowess is in his dick right now.

The poets were right, a kiss with your true love does feel different. This is a high Kai has never felt before, one that leaves him lightheaded and struggling to cling onto reality. God is real, the universe is good, and he’ll devote himself to worshipping you for the rest of his life.

His hands find your face with a feather-light touch, unsure how far he should go just yet. One hand tangles itself in your hair, using gentle force to press your face closer to his. He wants to feel your soul enter his body, to become so intertwined that your beings blend into one.

He grants your tongue access into his mouth as soon as he feels you licking at his lips. He has half a mind to be embarrassed by the whine he emits when you deepen the kiss, mentally scolding himself for being so pathetic. He shivers when your hands fall onto his shoulders, completely weakened by your touch. He’ll let you go as far as you want, he’ll give you the world.

You pull away to catch your breath, staring him down like you’re some hungry wolf. Kai wishes that it didn’t turn him on as much as it did. To see your eyes dark and wanting for him makes blood rush to his cock. This is something Kai’s waited years for, and it does wonders for his confidence, if only for a moment.

He drags you back to him, capturing your lips yet again. There’s more heat in his movements this time, conveying all his attraction to you through tongue and teeth. He licks into your mouth, wanting more, needing more, aching to get you delirious off his touch. His hands start moving down your body, dipping below your shirt to hold onto your bare waist. Your skin is warm and soft, and it feels like territory that Kai needs to explore.

He bites your lip and soothes the sting with a swipe of his tongue, then places another quick kiss to your lips. You look like something out of his wildest dreams, your lips wet and swollen and your eyes blown out with lust. He must not be faring any better. Your eyes dart to the bulge in his pants, and Kai feels a smidge of humiliation that you can see how he’s already fully hard. If a little bit of making out is enough to get him like this, he really has to pull himself together for when you actually touch him.

You push down on Kai’s shoulders until his back meets the mattress. He stares up at you and bites his lip, waiting for your next move. There’s a million different things you could do right now, and he thinks he’d be okay with any of them. You could throw your clothes to the floor and ride his face, you could shove his pants down his legs and tug at his cock, you could sit on his lap and just kiss him some more—hell, you could do nothing but sit there and look pretty and Kai would eventually burst.

“So what made you suddenly decide to hook up with me?” you ask while you situate yourself on his lap. He gasps as you let your hips fall into a slow grind over him. He curses the number of layers separating you two, wanting nothing more than to feel you directly. His hands fall to your thighs, gripping the soft flesh.

“I just…” It’s hard for him to find his words when he’s so focused on the sight of you on top of him. He’s fantasized about this countless times, but none of his imaginations could compare to this.

You laugh and let a hand trail up his chest, stopping at his throat to hold it in a loose grasp. He doesn’t want to be a pervert and beg for you to close your fist, but the idea of you choking him while grinding on top of him has his dick twitching in his jeans. The light pressure isn’t enough, he’d let you go all the way if you wanted.

“You just what?” you coax, smiling at him. He doesn’t know if you meant to be condescending or coddling, but either way it leaves him gripping onto your thighs a little tighter to keep his composure. His tongue is useless, no words find him when you’re toying with him like this. “Tell me, I wanna know,” you press. Kai doesn’t have it in him to create some lie on the spot.

“I-it’s kinda hard to think right now,” Kai says, hands moving up to your hips to try to urge you to move a little faster.

“I can stop, then,” you say, pausing your movements.

“No!” He presses his hips up into you and uses his hands to continue grinding you against him. You squeeze his throat at that, which only makes him whimper and buck into you harder.

“Kai,” you scold, and he finally listens and calms down. It takes a lot of willpower to lay still beneath you. You’re so tempting, he can’t help but try to relieve the strain in his pants.

“It’s just been a while, and… you’re really hot, so,” he explains as he tries to control his breathing.

You give an unsatisfied hum. “So you chose me just cause I’m hot and available?”

Kai squeezes his eyes shut like he’s in pain. He thinks you’re doing this on purpose. “No. You’re my best friend, and I trust you, that’s why. Please move,” he says, trying to urge your hips forward again. He’s a little surprised at how easily he can hide the fact that he was originally planning on asking you out today. Being this horny must grant him superpowers.

You sit there for a moment, pondering his words. Those ten seconds feel like torture, but you’re undoing his pants as soon as you decide his answer was satisfactory, and it makes everything worth it. You push them halfway down his thighs before tugging your own shorts off, and Kai’s hands work quickly to feel up the exposed skin.

You’re back to grinding on him, but this time less clothes separate you. It’s still far too much, though; Kai needs to feel skin on skin. His fingers pry at your panties and try to tug them off, but you swat his hands away. He looks up at you with the most pitiful look he can muster, and it only serves to make you laugh at him like he’s some handsy perv. He blushes a little, letting his hands fall back onto your thighs.

“You just can’t wait, huh?” you taunt, hands sliding up his stomach and chest until his shirt is pulled as far up as it will go. You stare at his body with a bitten lip and dark eyes, and the intensity makes Kai shudder.

“I-I can wait,” he counters, rubbing his thumbs on your skin, keeping his hands right where they are to show that he’s being good. If all you’ll give him is some grinding and heavy petting, then he’ll be happy to just shut up and take it. He needs to prove himself to you, to show you that he can be whatever you want him to be. If you want him to be quiet and lay down like a toy, he’ll be ten steps ahead of you, leaning back on the mattress waiting to be used. If you want him to throw you around and treat you like a whore, he’ll show you strength like no one else has. This is about doing everything exactly how you want.

“How cute,” you coo, letting your nails lightly rake down his torso, stopping once your fingers are at his boxers. You let your finger run over the hem teasingly, just tracing it back and forth with no care as to how much this is torturing Kai. His hips rut up without his permission, body acting on its own accord, and he’s worried for a second that you might scold him.

“Sorry,” he’s quick to apologize, but his body betrays him again. He swears he’s not intent on making himself look so pathetic and horny—this is just what you do to him.

“Do you need me now?” you ask, snapping the waistband of his boxers playfully. He whines and nods, squeezing your hips with need. “How bad?”

“So bad I could cry,” he says. You laugh, and he panics.

“Then cry.” His eyes widen. He knows you’re serious when you still your hips over him once more, crossing your arms and grinning down at him. You’re such a tease, he might just die.

“Please, please use me!” If you want him to beg, he’ll put on a whole damn show. He holds you in place above him so he can roll his hips up into yours, making sure your clit catches on the head of his cock each time. His grip is bruising, and your gasps are like music to his ears. He can’t stop now, he’s insatiable. “Hnng—I’ll cum in my boxers if you don’t let me inside you now,” he whines, giving you a particularly rough thrust.

He’s thankful that you don’t push him away again when his hands scramble to yank your panties off. He pulls them down your legs and throws them hastily somewhere off the bed. He flips the two of you over so you’re lying on the mattress, and you’re giggling at him while he loses his mind above you. He takes off the rest of his clothes as fast as he can, itching to feel your hands all over his skin.

He’s panting by the time he’s finally got his dick in his hands, stroking it and spreading his precum down his shaft. You’re way too beautiful beneath him, and the fear of not lasting long enough to make you cum is making him feel incredibly insecure. You’re way too good for him. Oh god. He has so much to prove, so much to live up to.

He tries to dive down between your legs, figuring he could at least get you to cum on his tongue to ease his worries. He’s stopped by your fist in his hair, pulling him back up before he could even get eye-level with your pussy. His fingers are quick to separate your folds then, rubbing up your slit persistently.

“Let me prepare you,” he says, moving his head down again. He only gets to nibble your thigh before you’re giggling and pulling his head away.

“I’m ready,” you insist, spreading your legs a little wider. His head spins. You’re insane. Now he’s really in danger of cumming too soon—like, before he even sticks it in. He leans his head onto your shoulder, trying to get a hold of himself. His fingers swipe rapidly at your clit, trying to get you as close to the edge as he is. He can’t embarrass himself. He has to be good for you.

Your legs shake and close over his hand, and you try tugging him by the wrist to push him away, but he’s too intent on making you cum to be deterred by that. “Fuck, Kai, stop, you’re gonna..!” Your voice is getting high-pitched and whiny, and your pleas for mercy are really only working against you; if anything, it only motivates Kai further.

“It’s okay, just let go,” he urges, watching your face to see if you’re close. Your eyebrows are upturned, eyes glazed over with lust, and suddenly you look a lot less like a hungry wolf and more like a poor little lamb. He realizes then that the most important thing in the world right now is getting you to fall apart under him.

“Ah—oh, god,” you cry, hips rolling up into his hand as he keeps his relentless pace. He watches arousal drip from your empty cunt, leaking down to the mattress, and it’s the most enticing sight Kai’s ever laid eyes on.

“Come on, cum for me. Promise to stuff you so good when you do,” Kai urges, feeling dizzy at the sight of your twitching body. You must be so close. Every part of him aches for your climax.

“Fuck, cumming..!” you gasp out, grasping onto Kai’s arm for dear life. He loves this feeling, it’s like you need him, like he saved you, like he showed you divinity. It gets too much to his head, and he knows at that moment that he just became addicted. He’ll keep searching for this high for the rest of his life.

He lets up once your body starts convulsing too hard, using his hand to gently hold your waist down instead. He looks at you like you’re something magnificent. A part of him still wonders if this is real or not, but his mind could never make up something this life-changing.

He leans down to kiss you, something deep and hungry, portraying all the need that’s nestled its way into his being. Your hands find his shoulders easily, and it feels like they were meant to be there. Kai thinks your bodies must have been made to touch each other.

You pull away from the kiss, smiling up at him like a little devil. “I thought you said you were gonna fill me up now?”

Something about you saying that makes everything seem much more real all of a sudden. Anxiety strikes its way back into Kai’s stomach, and he doesn’t know if he is greater parts fear or lust when his hand finds his dick again.

“I will,” he promises, and he prays you don’t hear the shake in his voice. He holds back a gasp when he brings his tip to your entrance. You’re soaked, and he feels the way your hole flutters pathetically for him. You need him. He almost feels possessed at the thought.

He bites his lip hard as he starts to push in. He’s trying not to get ahead of himself, but you’re so easy to get drunk in. You’re so tight, he would have stuffed you with his fingers if he’d known you’d be squeezing him like a vice.

He bottoms out with a gruff moan, holding onto your waist for dear life. He can’t believe this. He’s inside you. He’s in love with you. He’s as close to you as he could possibly be. The physical world constrains him from tying your souls together infinitely, but the intimacy of this is almost good enough.

How does he prove himself worthy for you? He feels himself getting lost more and more in a fantastical world in which you love him too, and the two of you are making love. But that’s not what this is. You just want him to fuck you.

His hands trail down to your hips, holding you still as he starts to pull out a bit. He’ll give you what you want. He’ll prove himself capable, make sure you know how well he can satisfy you. He’d spend a lifetime making you believe him if he could.

Your breath catches when Kai bottoms out again in a hard thrust. “You’re big,” you say with a little giggle, hands coming up to rest on Kai’s shoulders.

“T-thanks.” He doesn’t know if you’re laughing at his stutter or at his response, but either way it makes his face flush. He fucks into you at a steady pace now, slow enough to keep himself from cumming.

Your hand trails up to the nape of his neck to grip his hair, and it makes Kai whine. You roll your hips up into him, meeting his thrusts deliciously, tugging harder at his hair when he speeds up a little. You’re making things really hard for Kai right now. He wants to give you the best time of your life, but you keep hypnotizing him with how sexy you are.

He can’t be selfish. He brings a thumb to your clit and relishes in the way you groan out at the stimulation. “Just like that,” you praise, clutching onto him a little more desperately.

“Wanna be good for you,” he says, letting his hips buck harder against you. He’s never felt so brainless in his life; he only acts on instinct as he chases his orgasm and your own. There’s a primal urge to claim you, to paint your walls with his seed.

Your back arches up into him, like you’re presenting yourself fully to him. His free hand snakes up your shirt to find your tits, playing with them as he pleases, watching your reactions to everything. You look so overwhelmed. Your mouth hangs open with broken whines as Kai keeps stimulating you, and the sight has his stomach clenching in threat of climaxing soon.

“Kai,” you moan, accompanied by some garble of words that he can’t quite decipher. He doesn’t know if that’s because you’re unintelligible from how good you feel, or if it’s because he’s so far off in his own need to make you cum that everything else is blurred out.

Your walls start tightening around him now, and he knows you’re cumming when you throw your head back with a cry. He almost bursts inside you at that moment. He feels like something more than human, like only the most divine of beings should be able to see things like this. He burns the image in his mind.

“Where can I cum?” he asks, jackhammering into you as he chases his high. You’re whimpering from the overstimulation, but Kai thinks you can take it for just a few more moments.

“A-anywhere,” you stutter out. For the first time, Kai thinks you look breakable. He has a scary thought of wanting to ruin you.

“Inside you?” he asks, coming down to mouth at your neck. You whimper when he bottoms out again and grinds against you.

“Wherever you want,” you say.

Fuck. It’s that same second he spills inside you, almost as if your words were what allowed him to cum. He groans into your shoulder, hands squeezing at your flesh while your cunt milks him dry. He will never get closer to heaven than this.

He’s not sure how many minutes have passed by the time he’s picking himself back up, hovering over you, still sheathed inside your walls. All he knows is that you look even more beautiful now than you have before, and the urge to confess his love to you falls over him once again.

“Is this gonna change things?” Kai asks. He hopes you say yes. He hopes he made you see him in a new light, that you suddenly realized he’s the man of your dreams and you need him to be with you forever.

“No,” you answer, running your fingers through his hair. “But we probably will fuck again. That was mind-blowing.”

Kai’s still a little too hazy to process that. “Alright,” he says. He collapses back down on you, figuring he would take advantage of the moment and hold you like this a little longer.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Admittedly, Kai didn’t think this through very well. He’s pacing around his bedroom, going on and on to Yeonjun about how much he messed up and how scared he is to see you again. Yeonjun lays on Kai’s bed, much more relaxed than Kai is.

“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” Yeonjun says. Kai can’t believe how he can be so casual about this. “You can still tell her how you feel.”

“No I can’t! I should have told her before we had sex, this is a nightmare!” Kai holds his head in his hands, trying to keep it from exploding. The amount of stress he feels right now is probably enough to guarantee him heart problems later in life.

“She won’t care, dude. Just tell her you choked,” Yeonjun reassures. It does very little to comfort Kai, though.

“I’m not gonna tell her. I don’t think I can.”

“Yes you can. If you don’t tell her, I’ll ask her out myself.” Kai’s not sure if Yeonjun’s threat is legit, but it strikes a bit of fear in his heart anyway.

“I’ll tell her in, like, a month. That’s enough time, right?”

“Why not tomorrow?” Yeonjun counters.

“Are you crazy?! We had sex two days ago! If I tell her tomorrow, I’m gonna look pussy-whipped!”

Yeonjun laughs, “Well…”

Kai rolls his eyes. “Shut up. I’m not telling her until next month.”

“You’re just gonna push that date back over and over again. Get it over with sooner, that way you don’t have to worry about it all the time,” Yeonjun explains.

“You don’t get it. This is hard for me. Have you even been in love before?” Kai asks, pausing in front of the bed so he can look Yeonjun in the eye when he answers.

“I guess not,” Yeonjun says, shrugging like he doesn’t see how that would matter. “You know I give good advice about dating, though. I can look at it objectively because I’ve never been in love.”

Kai doesn’t have a response to that—not because Yeonjun’s right, but because he thinks Yeonjun’s reasoning is so ridiculous. Yeonjun doesn’t understand what it’s like to feel even a quarter of the yearning Kai holds for you. He doesn’t know a fraction of the fear of losing you.

Yeonjun starts up again, “You’re seeing her tomorrow anyway, so you might as well.”

Kai shakes his head. “I can’t. I can barely handle seeing her tomorrow as is.”

Yeonjun sits up, clearly taking the conversation more seriously now. “Why though? You act like you’re so doomed, but I guarantee you that hooking up once isn’t something to cry about.”

“That’s the problem, it wasn’t just a hook up for me. I will never be the fucking same again. I literally can’t move on.” Mild irritation laces all of Kai’s words.

“Then take a step back and chill out. The more you stress about this, the worse you’re going to make things,” Yeonjun says. He still sounds so unphased about it all. Kai wishes he could make him see how pressing this really is, how this actually feels like life or death for him.

“How am I gonna take a step back when I see her and talk to her all the time?” Kai asks. That’s just scratching the surface; he doesn’t even mention how his every thought goes back to you, how everything in the world reminds him of you one way or another. His devotion toward you feels like it’s embedded in his bones, like it’s part of his wiring. There is no him without an undying love for you—the two cannot be separated.

“I don’t know, dude. I don’t wanna sound like a dick, but if you don’t want my help, figure it out on your own,” Yeonjun says, exhausted.

Equally exhausted, Kai sinks down the wall until he’s sat on the floor. “Let’s just stop talking about this for now,” Kai sighs out.

It’s quiet in the room for a minute as the tension slowly dissipates. Then, Yeonjun chimes in again with a five-star idea: “Wanna get drinks?”

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Kai thought he’d be too scared to see you today, but he proves himself to be horribly wrong. As soon as you call him telling him to come over, the only anxiety he feels is in the form of antsiness to see you again. He doesn’t waste a second before driving to your apartment. He could walk, but that would just be more time lost.

He realizes the moment he walks into your bedroom that maybe he shouldn’t have been so careless before coming here.

Your eyes fall to his shirt. “Is that One Direction?”

“No.” He looks down at his shirt only to see the five boy band members staring back at him. He looks back at you, hopefully concealing the fear he feels from his face. “Yes.”

You laugh. Oh god, do you think he’s a loser?

“It’s my sister’s shirt,” he explains quickly. “It was too big for her, so she gave it to me.”

“Please go out in public wearing that,” you say. “I’ll literally treat you to lunch right now.”

Kai feels his face flushing in embarrassment. “I don’t even like One Direction!”

“You do now! I think I’m in the mood for a discography dive, actually,” you laugh. Kai hides his face in his hands as he trudges his way over to you, falling backward onto your bed. He feels your hand run through his hair as your laughter dies down.

“Do you have any of my sweatshirts here?” Kai asks, even though he knows you do.

“Nooooo, I don’t want you taking those from me,” you whine.

“You’ll get it back, I just don’t want to go out like this.” You pout at him before getting up and rummaging through your closet. You throw a sweatshirt at him when you find one, and Kai is quick to throw it on once it lands in his lap.

“It feels like a crime for you to be covering them up,” you say, brushing your hand over where One Direction’s faces once were.

“It would feel like more of a crime letting people think I’m a modern-day Directioner.” Kai relishes in the way you laugh at that.

“You’d be such a Niall girl,” you say with an amused glint in your eye.

“I don’t even know which one Niall is.”

“He’s”—

“And I’d like to keep it that way,” he cuts you off.

“Fine. No one ever wants to talk One Direction with me anyway.”

Kai laughs, and he’s a little starstruck by how pretty you look when you smile at him like this. “Where do you wanna go today?” he asks, changing the conversation.

You shrug. “We can just drive to the city and see what’s around,” you offer.

“Do you wanna just head out now then?”

“Let me get ready and then we can,” you say, getting off the bed.

It’s a miracle how normal Kai’s been able to act so far. He still looks away when you change your clothes, wanting to be respectful, but he wonders if there’s even a point to it anymore. His face heats up when he thinks about how you said you’ll probably have sex with him again.

Yeonjun’s words from yesterday come back to Kai, how he seemed so confident that Kai should confess to you today. For a second, he considers it. Yeonjun’s so much better with girls than Kai is, it would probably be stupid to not take his advice. But then Kai remembers that there’s no stakes when Yeonjun talks to girls; he doesn’t go after his best friend like Kai does, he goes after random girls at random parties that he’ll never see again.

For Kai’s own good, and for the sake of your friendship, he can’t tell you today. Even if it means swallowing down his compliments when you come to him all ready to go. Even if it means staying silent while being at risk of going into cardiac arrest, heart beating rapidly from how pretty you look in the passenger seat of his car.

Kai makes the mistake of letting you control the music on the ride there. He conveys his disappointment with a single glance to you when he hears you play What Makes You Beautiful. You’re grinning so hard that your cheeks must hurt, but your joy is contagious, and Kai finds himself smiling against his will.

“What? It’s your favorite band!” you tease. You turn up the volume as the chorus hits, singing the lyrics to him. Kai can’t help but laugh. He might have to buy a hundred more stupid t-shirts if this is what he’ll get every time.

Once you arrive downtown, Kai walks with you as you look for an intriguing store. He usually lets you pick out what shops you enter, but he catches sight of a building that calls out to him. “Let’s go here,” Kai suggests, motioning toward the sign on the store.

“Palm reading? Since when did you get so spiritual?” you ask.

Kai looks at you for a second, admiring your smile. “I just think it might be fun,” he says. “You don’t like it?”

You shrug. “I’m just not super into it. I’m down to watch you get your palm read, though.”

The shop is typical for a spirituality store—there’s crystals, tarot cards, incense, and everything else Kai usually sees at these places. He walks to the woman managing the register at the back, eyeing the board behind her that displays their services.

“Oh wow, they do mediumship here,” you say quietly as you follow behind Kai. “What the hell is an aura reading?” There’s a bit of amusement in your voice, and Kai hopes the worker doesn’t hear you.

“I don’t know, I’ve never done those,” he whispers back to you. He smiles when the woman behind the counter comes up to him, greeting her quietly.

“How can I help you?” she asks.

“Could we do one of those palm readings?” Kai says, pointing up at the text on the board describing the palm reading service.

“Just that? Would you like me to look at anything else?”

“Just the palm reading,” Kai answers. The woman calls out another worker to watch the store, then directs you and Kai to a room at the back.

“Oh, this room is tiny. It’s like a closet,” you say with a laugh, and Kai hopes the woman knows that you say this with no malice. She motions for the two of you to take a seat at the small table in the room. The chairs aren’t very comfortable—they’re pretty hard, and they squeak when you both sit in them, but Kai thinks of it as another charm to the place.

There’s a lot of unlit candles in the room, and the light instead comes from a lamp that stands in the corner of the room, casting the room in a yellowish glow. Spiritual posters line the walls, as well as shelves that hold huge crystals and other trinkets Kai doesn’t quite recognize. He looks to you for a second, to which you return his glance with a smile and a raise of your brows. His heart races a little, sickly sweet feelings for you rising in his stomach.

“Would you hold out your hands?” the woman says, and Kai immediately places his hands palm-up on top of the table. He suddenly feels nervous, as if he’s baring something as sacred as his soul rather than just his skin.

He’s not sure what he wants to hear today. He hasn’t done anything like this before, but the worker seems nice enough. Kai doesn’t know how to tell if someone is the real deal or not when it comes to spiritual stuff, but he trusts this woman’s vibes. She’s funky, in a good way.

He wonders if palm readings can say anything about love. With you right here, perhaps it’s better if he doesn’t ask.

The worker hums as she assesses Kai’s hands. He can feel them starting to get clammy from the nerves, antsy to just hear whatever she has to say. He hopes he doesn’t have bad fortunes.

The woman rests her thumb over a deep line that runs across Kai’s palm. “Your life line is very pronounced.”

Kai blinks at her. “What does that mean?”

She runs her finger over the full line. “It’s a long, deep line. Usually that means you’re energetic, and you’ll have a successful life. You might be good at sports too.”

You laugh beside him, and if his hands weren’t busy getting read by this lady he would’ve used them to shove you. “Please don’t mind her,” he says, feeling his face heat up.

“There’s just the capacity for you to be good at sports. And it doesn’t have to be a very physical sport,” she continues. Great—your laughter made the palm reader start scrambling for an explanation. She thinks he’s unathletic now.

“I am good at sports,” Kai says, feeling like he has to prove himself. “I like working out.”

“Yesss, and he loves bowling,” you add.

“What? She just made that up,” Kai defends. “I don’t like bowling.”

“He was a pro bowler in high school.”

“No. You’re a pro liar.” Kai is also failing to see why you find it important to sell this lie to the palm reader. He’s lucky enough that the reader doesn’t seem to pay any mind to your antics.

“You seem to have a lot of emotions,” she says, finger lying on one of the other prominent lines in Kai’s palm. He sees you smirking in his peripheral, and he tries his very best to ignore it. “Do you usually repress what you feel?”

Oh gosh. He makes a point to not look at you, but the first thing he thinks of is how he’s been holding in his feelings for you for years. He’s been bottling that up for a while—a lot of other emotions, too, but namely that one.

“Sometimes, yeah,” he answers with a nod, hoping his voice didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

“All the time,” you correct. “He rarely opens up.”

The palm reader hums in acknowledgement. “I can see that. You might want to work on expressing your emotions more. It’s not good to let everything sit in your body.” She looks him dead in the eye to make her point. Kai nods and gulps, feeling a little intimidated.

The reader releases Kai’s hands and turns her face to you. “Would you like a reading?” she asks. You wave your hand in denial.

“I’m alright, thank you. Hey, you got him dead on, though. Congrats,” you say, smiling at the lady and getting out of your chair.

“Thank you,” Kai says, fishing his wallet from his pants. “How much is this?”

“Ten dollars,” the woman answers, taking the cash from Kai when he hands it to her. He runs over to where you stand at the door, waiting for him with a smile. The moment the two of you step foot out of the building, you’re already going on about how fake and scammy this gig is.

“That lady was so full of shit. I could probably do this job. It was actually meant for me cause I love to lie,” you say. You stop walking and turn to face Kai. “Here, give me your hand.”

He hesitates for a second and braces himself for whatever insane story you’re about to come up with.

“Oh yeah, fingertips of a bowler,” you start. You cackle when Kai immediately tries yanking his hand from yours at that, but you keep a solid grip on his wrist. You trace over a line in his palm. “This one means you like long walks on the beach. And this one means you want to go back to the car and give me head.”

His interest is piqued. “For real?”

You drop his hand. “Yeah, says exactly that. That’ll be ten bucks.”

“I can think of a better way to pay you,” he says, unable to contain his grin. He takes your hand and speeds to his car. He doesn’t really care how desperate it makes him look. You’re giggling the whole way there, and the noise just goes straight to his cock. Maybe he is pussy-whipped.

He urges you into the backseat as soon as you make it to the car, getting in behind you and slamming the door shut, too eager to get his hands on you. Your smile doesn’t leave your face when he leans in to kiss you, but that doesn’t stop him at all. He cradles your jaw in his hand, keeping your face connected to his as he works his lips against yours.

“Hope no one catches us,” you giggle, only pulling away long enough to say that before being taken by Kai’s kiss again. Kai doesn’t let your words get to him; he’s too horny to think about anything besides boning you anyway.

Kai hovers over you, and there’s not much space in the backseat of his car, but he’ll sure as hell make it work if it means getting his face between your thighs. He wastes no time pulling down your jeans and your panties, yanking off your top and bra too so that you lay fully nude beneath him.

His eyes scan your body hungrily, taking in your skin at its most vulnerable. “You’re pretty,” he says as his hands find your tits, squeezing them and listening to you sigh at the feeling.

“J-just pretty?” you tease.

“And sexy,” Kai says, lowering his mouth to your nipple, sucking it until he hears you whimper. “And so gorgeous,” he adds before moving to your other nipple. He’s greedy—he wants all your pleasure to be his own, for you to only associate sex and satisfaction with him.

You gasp and arch into him. Kai catches your movement, holding your back to keep you pressed close to him as he continues showing you how beautiful he thinks you are. He could spend lifetimes doing this. He was made to worship you.

Your hand curls in his hair, and Kai wonders if you could cum like this, just from some nipple stimulation. With the way you’re panting and moaning into the air, he thinks you might. He’ll have to try that someday. Today, it’s not enough. Today, he craves you more carnally. He starts dragging his lips down your body, trying not to smile in satisfaction when your breath hitches.

He brings his head between your legs, staring at you with intensity blazing in his eyes. He wonders if your skin is buzzing too. He wonders if you’ve never felt more alive than now, just like him.

“Can I?” he asks, gently maneuvering your legs to rest over his shoulders.

You lean up on your elbows to watch. “Mhm,” you hum with a small smile.

He can’t be bothered to tease you—it would probably be more torturous for him than you, anyway. He dives in right away, bringing his tongue to your folds and tightening his hold on your thighs. He can’t count how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of this. He doesn’t even care that he’s cramped in the tight space of his car, all he cares about is that he finally knows how you taste.

His tongue swirls at your clit, gliding along the bud with determination. He’s dying to feel your legs clamp around his head. He wants to be suffocating, to feel the air slowly leave him as he laps at your pussy. He grunts against you, moving down to tongue at your entrance.

He presses his face further into you, aching to get closer than what’s physically possible. He curls his tongue up inside you, huffing out a laugh when your thighs jolt at the sensation. He repeats the motion until he hears your moans get high-pitched and breathy, and he feels like he’s on top of the world. Nothing could be better than this.

Your hands grab at his hair, desperate and shaking and so needy, and he can’t help but feel the urge to take care of you. “Fuck, how are you so good at this?” you ask, sounding all worked up. Kai thinks it’s very cute. He doesn’t answer, of course—he’s a little preoccupied.

Your words motivate him to go further, lapping at you with more fervor. His brain turns to mush, reduced to primal instinct that begs you to cum all over his tongue. He grips onto you tighter when your hips start running away, not letting you escape him. You whine out as he mouths at your pussy; it’s filthy and messy, but Kai couldn’t imagine a more perfect way to have you.

“Kai—Kai! Like that, shit, you’re so fucking good.” Your legs start closing around his head, and Kai thanks the universe for putting him in this position. You twitch and gasp as you get closer and closer to your climax, hands tightening in Kai’s hair.

He’s feral now, and his vision might be blacking out, but he fucking loves this. He doesn’t stop or slow down, and the payoff comes in the form of his name tumbling from your lips as you finally cum. He can’t get enough, continuing to lap at you even as you try to tug him away.

“I’m sensitive!” you yelp when he comes up to your clit, taking it between his lips and sucking until you cry. He doesn’t do it to be mean, he’s just so crazy about you. He wants you to cum over and over again, but you keep trying to pull him away, so he finally lets up.

He comes up to you for a kiss, taking your hand to hold it as he pants into your mouth. He doesn’t care about catching his breath. He doesn’t want to waste time on insignificant things like taking in air. He only wants to breathe you in, to be overwhelmed with the way you take over his senses.

Your free hand clumsily tries to push his pants down, and he resorts to helping you out after a few failed attempts. He doesn’t separate from the kiss for a second as he gets his cock out, lining it up to your entrance needily. He pumps his shaft in his hand as he sticks his tip in, eating up your moans as they pass from your mouth into his.

Maybe he’s too in his head, but this feels like more than sex between two friends. This feels too transformative to be anything casual. He pushes in further, breaking from the kiss to watch your face as he bottoms out. He brushes your hair back, then lets his hand rest on your cheek. His thumb rests over your bottom lip, pulling it down slightly. You have beautiful lips.

He pushes his thumb into your mouth the same moment he starts thrusting inside you. He feels the vibrations of your moans as he fucks into you, groaning at the way you clench around him.

“You take me so well,” Kai grunts out, pushing his thumb down on your tongue so your mouth opens up. You look like a wet dream. He brings his other hand to your breasts, playing with your nipples. You mewl, and he finally takes his thumb from your mouth so he can kiss you again.

It doesn’t take long for him to feel ready to burst. He pinches your clit, trying to bring you to the edge with him. You tug his hair, pulling his face away so you can stare into his eyes as you get closer to cumming.

“Cum inside me,” you urge, sliding your hand down from his hair to his neck. You hold his throat in a possessive grasp, and Kai almost sees God in that moment. His hips buck into you faster, motivated by your fingers slowly tightening around him.

Kai bottoms out and bursts inside you with a moan, letting your walls squeeze around him and milk his cock. He moves his fingers over your clit rapidly until he feels you convulsing around his shaft; his head spins from both the noises you make as you orgasm and your hand around his neck.

You finally let go, and Kai gasps for air, leaning his head down into your shoulder as he rides out the last of your highs. He runs his hands all over your body, cherishing the feel of your bare flesh. He licks the skin at your neck and shoulder mindlessly, still foggy from how turned on he is.

He pulls out after a minute, pulling his head from your shoulder so he can watch the way his cum drips out of you. He grins at the sight, and he knows it’s perverted and gross, but he loves the way it spills out. He can’t have his cum dripping onto his car seats, though, so he has to put your panties back on and make sure your cunt keeps it all in.

“How you feeling?” you ask, still laying down and catching your breath.

“Good. That was so good,” Kai breathes out, staring at your lips, then your eyes.

You smile at him. “Is that all you want to say?” you ask.

No, it’s not. He wants to say he loves you. He wants to say that this means more to him than you know. He wants your lips beyond these slivers of moments, he wants your body beyond these hookups. Do you know that? Do you know he wants to say all that?

He grabs your hand and laces his fingers between yours. The lines embedded in his palms spell out a path that was fated for loving you. He’s more sure of this now than ever before. There’s his answer.

“That’s all,” Kai says.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

“I don’t get it,” Yeonjun says. “Why’d you hook up with her again if it fucked you up so bad last time?”

Kai sighs, “Cause I’m stupid. I don’t know.”

Kai’s not sure how debriefing with Yeonjun after hanging out with you became such common practice, but it at least offers him some sort of reprieve from suffering alone. Now he doesn’t have to mope around crying about his lost chances with you. They’re sitting in Yeonjun’s car in the corner of some parking lot, since Yeonjun didn’t want to just hang out at Kai’s place again.

“Are you ever gonna confess?” Yeonjun asks. He sounds like he lost hope in Kai.

“Yes, I am,” Kai says, not knowing how to bare himself to Yeonjun like this. “Just not yet.”

“Mhm,” he gives an unconvincing hum.

“I am,” Kai insists.

“When? Ten years from now, when she’s already settled down without you?” That pisses Kai off a little, but he doesn’t let it show. Yeonjun continues, “Listen, dude. For your own sake—and for mine, at this point—just tell her you love her. And not in a month. Tell her today.”

“I’m not seeing her today,” Kai reasons.

Yeonjun puts the car in drive. “Yes you are.”

“Oh my god, you’re not taking me to her place,” Kai says, but Yeonjun’s already pulling out of the parking lot and heading out. Kai’s eyes go wide. “You’re not.”

“I am.” What the hell?! Kai’s not ready for this! You don’t even know he’s coming over!

“I don’t know what to say!” he exclaims, starting to panic.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yeonjun says.

“I just saw her yesterday! You’re making me look desperate!”

“You are desperate,” Yeonjun laughs. Kai doesn’t find it funny. Kai can’t really find anything funny right now.

“I can’t do it. I’m not doing it.”

Yeonjun doesn’t even respond; he just keeps his eyes on the road and continues on the route to your apartment. Kai’s getting flashbacks to when he first tried confessing to you. That was around a week ago now, and look where that attempt got him. He's more pathetic than he was before.

Of course he wants to tell you how he feels. It’s not like Kai wants to be such a coward about this, but the fear of you rejecting him and scaring you off forever is mortifying. Yeonjun doesn’t understand how paralyzing that idea is. There would be no kind of hurt stronger than the one of you turning Kai away. He knows he can’t make you love him, and while he would simply die to have his feelings be reciprocated, he can’t force it onto you.

Yeonjun’s approaching your street now, and Kai has never felt closer to death in his life. There’s no chance he’s getting out of Yeonjun’s car. He’ll rot away here in the passenger seat before he confesses to you.

Yeonjun turns to Kai when he parks by your apartment complex. He raises an eyebrow when Kai doesn’t make a move to get out of the car.

“I’m too scared. I can’t,” Kai says, sounding completely sure of this.

Yeonjun’s quiet for a few seconds, pursing his lips in thought as he decides on what to say. “How much do you love her?” he asks.

This is a stupid question. “You know how much. It kills me how much.”

“So act like it. Pick yourself up and go to her like a man. Quit ruining your own life—she’s not gonna want some bum who can’t even work up enough courage to say he loves her,” Yeonjun says, and his words are harsh, but they strike some kind of determination in Kai. “Dude, I don’t know any guy who deserves her more than you. You’re the best. I mean it. You gotta go get her.”

Kai’s palms are sweating and his heart is racing, but there’s a fire lit beneath him now. Yeonjun’s right. Even if it’s the end of all things, Kai has to tell you his feelings.

Yeonjun continues, “Do it. It’s not as bad as you think. You have to do it.”

Kai finally opens the car door, and he can feel the adrenaline rushing through his body. “I’m gonna call you later,” Kai says before shutting the door. He hears Yeonjun cheer him on as he walks off, letting his feet lead him to your door.

It all feels too familiar when Kai’s standing at your doorstep. He has no script this time. He couldn’t begin to try and conjure one up—his nerves are making him jittery and scatterbrained. There’s no backing out this time. Yeonjun’s words ring in Kai’s mind. He has to do it.

“Oh, hey,” you say when you open the door. Kai steps inside and gathers his breath. “Did something happen?” you ask.

You stare at him with concern, and he figures it must be because he’s visibly anxious. He tries to get himself together, straightening his posture and breathing slower.

“No, not really,” he answers.

“You look like you’re ready to pass out.” You glance at your living room. “Did you want to sit down?”

“No,” he says, then musters up whatever courage he has to grab your hands. He clutches onto them desperately, as if you ground him, as if you remind him to be brave. “I just want to tell you something.”

Your eyes dart between his like you’re trying to find his words before he can say them. “What is it?” you ask.

Kai’s whole world has been building up to this moment. It’s finally time. He breaks the dam open, letting his vulnerability loose.

“I love you.” His heart hammers against his chest.

“I know,” you say.

“No, like—I love you,” he emphasizes, squeezing your hands.

You smile. It’s breathtaking. “I know. Yeonjun told me.”

Yeonjun—what?!

“Are you kidding me?!” Kai forgets everything else he wanted to say in his horror. That fucking asshole, he’s dead! Kai can’t believe this! He doesn’t even know why he’s surprised; this is such a Yeonjun thing to do. “When did he tell you?!”

You laugh like this is all so funny, meanwhile Kai’s world is crumbling down. “The day before we first hooked up,” you answer.

No fucking way.

“You knew this whole time?” Kai asks.

“Yup,” you confirm.

“Why did he tell you?”

“In case you pussied out. Which you did,” you answer. “And because he knew I’m in love with you too.”

Kai doesn’t quite process what he heard. “Huh?”

You grin and roll your eyes, and then you’re pulling Kai’s face in so you can kiss him. His head spins. He’ll wake up any second now. Your lips feel very real, though, and far beyond what his dreams could conjure up. They’re soft and sweet and just as delicious as he remembers.

You pull away. “I love you too,” you say. “You should be my boyfriend.”

Kai’s in disbelief. You love him—the words echo in his mind on a constant loop. He can’t think about anything else; all he can do is pull you back in for another kiss and make it count. This is your first kiss officially together, after all.

“You should’ve asked me before,” Kai breathes out, holding your face dearly. “You knew I would’ve said yes.”

You giggle, “I like the chase.”

The world around him fades away as Kai devotes his full attention to you. Nothing else in the universe could mean more than this moment. You drag him to your bedroom, and he follows eagerly, grinning victoriously the whole time.

“I can’t believe it took you so long to finally say it,” you tease as you push him onto your bed, straddling him and resting your hands on his chest. “Or that I had to hear it from Yeonjun first, a week before I heard it from you.”

“He fucking sucks for that,” Kai says with a little laugh. He holds no real malice toward Yeonjun, but he will definitely be having a word with him later. Honestly, Kai couldn’t even be mad if he tried right now. With you smiling like this on top of him and Kai finally being able to call you his, nothing could bring him down.

You bring Kai’s face to yours for a quick kiss, then you pull away to throw off your shirt. “Let’s make it feel like the first time,” you say, lifting off of him to take off your bottoms.

“It always does with you,” Kai says sweetly as he pulls his own pants and boxers down. You spit in your hand and bring it to his cock, pumping him quickly to get him fully hard. You bite your lip as you twist your hand over him, earning a choked out moan from Kai. He brings his hand to your folds, rubbing at your slit with just as much fervor.

“Do you want me to ride you?” you ask, a little out of breath from Kai’s hands on you. His head nearly explodes at the thought of you riding him. He wants you to do whatever you want. He wants you to use his dick to make yourself cum ten times over, if that’s what you’d like.

“Yeah, fuck, come fuck me,” Kai begs just as breathlessly. He places his hands on your hips while you position his tip to your entrance. You have fun with it, sliding the head of his cock through your folds until Kai starts whining.

You grab his face so he’ll look at you when you start sinking down on him, and the eye contact is so intense, but Kai doesn’t dare look away. He lets you dip two fingers past his lips, and he sucks them diligently, moaning around them when you sink down on his cock all the way.

You grind against him, slow and sensual, while Kai swirls his tongue around your digits. He wants you to feel his devotion. He wants his love to be so apparent that you could never doubt it. His insides are lit aflame with desire, a need to be claimed by you. You don’t know it, but you’ve carved your name into his soul. He’s eternally yours.

“I love you,” you whisper. You put your body to work, keeping all the passion and sensuality in the moment as you start riding him. Kai gasps, and you pull your fingers from his mouth, bringing them to your own to suck his saliva off of them. The act is so dirty, but it makes Kai’s dick twitch inside you.

“I love you too,” he whimpers. You take your saliva-coated fingers to your clit and rub it as you hasten the pace of your hips. His hands find your tits, squeezing the flesh and thumbing at your nipples. Your mouth drops open, and your eyes fall to Kai’s lips. He smiles as he leans in, kissing you and capturing all your moans.

He holds onto your hip so he can buck up into you, trying to get you both to your orgasms. “Cum with me,” you breathe into his mouth. You don’t have to tell him twice.

He bottoms out and releases inside you, cock twitching as his seed spurts out. You’re cumming right along with him, legs trembling and hands clutching onto Kai to keep yourself up. He watches your stomach tense up as you ride out your high. You’re the hottest sight to be seen.

Kai feels euphoric, like the world has blessed him to be the luckiest man on earth. The happiness bubbling inside him makes him feel like he could explode. He’s all giggles and stupid little smiles, peppering your face with kisses.

“I can’t believe this is real. Tell me I’m not dreaming,” he says, staring at you like you’re something precious.

“This didn’t feel real to you?” you ask, rolling your hips over him. He’s sensitive, and the motion makes him jolt. You laugh and pull yourself off of him.

“I’m ridiculously in love with you. I wish I had the words to tell you how much,” Kai professes.

“What a shame. I would’ve loved to hear it.” You peck the tip of his nose.

If that’s a challenge to get Kai to try, he gladly accepts. “I never believed in destiny until I fell in love with you. I don’t think a love this strong existed anywhere else, I think I’m the first person to love someone this hard.”

Kai will dedicate his every next breath to you. He’s yearned and longed for years, with a force much stronger than a human heart has. Feelings like this are bigger than life itself; they’re bigger than celestial bodies, bigger than metaphysical concepts. Feelings like this haven’t yet been given words to describe them.

He feels like a winner when he sees you fluster at his words—getting you to blush is not an easy feat. You look away shyly, but your lips are tilted up in a cute smile.

“Well, I love you too,” you say. Kai doesn’t need the fancy words from you; this much is more than enough. He steals a kiss from you once more.

Kai doesn’t forget to call Yeonjun when he gets the chance, figuring he should still have a word with him. It goes to voicemail. That’s fine. He leaves a very kind message for his friend to find when he decides to check his phone.

“You’re seriously the worst. You’re unbelievable. Call me back when you can, you’re gonna want to hear this.”

notes: ahhhhhh what do we think?? 🙈🙈 i’m issuing a formal apology to the one direction fans and haters who had to sit through the 1d bit. extra apology to niall girls. i also apologize to the bowling community. contrary to what this fic may imply i really do respect you guys. lmfao i hope you enjoyed this! always happy to hear ur thoughts :)

taglist: @dawngyu @fancypeacepersona @hyukarma @kveclair @mental-hollows @moaadiry 🤍

© delugyu 2025, do not translate or reupload

[yuyuyumefairy]

i think ill keep all wuwa ramblings here cause i don't want to attract the wrong crowd on twt lmao

i just want to throttle scar and objectify him i know there's like cbt1 wuwa vs wuwa release discourse but that's so funny to me cause that's literally the same game like calm down ? im sure whatever ideas that got scrapped for release will be reused somewhere lksjfsld anyway scar is a slut and im horrendously down bad for him i still have no idea who his jp va is but im thinking it's saito souma cause he sounds Very Bottom to me

and also i think the discourse about launch not being up to snuff and how wuwa needed another cbt is funny too like sure another cbt would have been nice on the dev standpoint but tbh no game will be perfect on release that's just how the cookie crumbles- either wait for the bugs to get patched out or play with the bugs lmaoooo

hmmmmm yeah i dont think there's much else im glad i've been staying away from twt cause whew is it a cesspool sometimes anyway ill be here delulu about scar cause i just lsdkfjd also i think jiyan is great and onoyu sounds fabulous calcharo please come home and lingyang is op af i feel crazy when i switch to playing as him im like yEAAAAAAAA DANCE BOY DANCE and then the lion dance ultimate hits and im so hyped for him while beating up monsters 10/10 experience i love seeing lion boy dance lskdjfldfjsd

[cherryphobe]

Not to fallout the tv the show post too much but after looking through the coop tag i have to share opinions on the whole lucy x coop x max triangle discourse lmao

I fully understand people saying like, super weird how people wanna ship lucy with - quoting a literal post i saw - her cousin or the man actively trying to kill her over the Black Character because 'you know why' & yeah I get that some people are just weirdo fucking racists

I'm just gonna throw it out there! Max is , FUCKINNNN STOOOOPID. I Hope he has a braincell redemption arc in s2 but that man is so fucking DUMB!!!! The amount of times i screamed at my tv like bro what are you dOING!!!!!!!!!!!! & maybe the idiot brotherhood boy (with outcast potential fingers crossed) is a great match up for the oblivious vault girl & they can learn to activate their braincells together Thats Great I love that. I dont necessarily dislike him as a character I just. Whew. He makes me TOO mad because hes TOO dumb so thats just. Me.

& as someone who doooooes kinnddaaaa? Ship coop/lucy? A little? Not hugely but a small amount? People shipping them BECAUSE of their aggresive dynamic are insane. Thats so weird & gross. Weirdos. Grossos. Like i love a good enemies to lovers but maybe not an 'abusive torturer sell her for parts for his own personal gain to lovers'... (to use prior fandom as context its a similar ick to gortash karlach shippers. Weirdo behavior!!) i, PERSONALLY!!! Ship it in a dynamic where somewhere along the lines coop finds his humanity again. Maybe through the help of lucys naivity / good hearted-ness. But i also see her becoming corrupted. Not completely! She'll always follow the golden rule. But she knows the wasteland is lawless. & after all the revelations of ep 8 Im sure shes. Suffering. Immensely. I think its a dynamic of he gets softer while she gets hardened, or something.

ALL THAT SAID THO, it seems pretty cut & dry that lucy x max is the canon end goal. Unless he dies or something. Which is unfortunately likely. Because hes. The black guy.

& actually coop should date me, personally!

[animalistic00]

I know JJ and reader were arguing the whole time about who Maisie’s favorite was. Anything they did and then they bought her a load of shit too. Also not John B in the comments 😂 he’s such a girl dad and that’s his baby girl fr. Worse than Sarah. Might be worse than reader 👀

WHAT DID I SAY!!! The second post immediately proved my point. Lmao😂 Baby Maisie betraying us😭 JJ no one asked your opinion get out of our comments. ALSO POPE?!? My poor baby what have they done to you? WHAT HAS CLEO DONE TO YOU? This poor mans, getting bullied so hard by the poguelet because of his wife 😂

I was so terrified for a moment when the article showed up. Whew 😅 but we all good!!! CU shaking in their boots fr and they better be. Also not them micing Pope up😂dead! Also RUTHIE CHARGED AS. SHE. SHOULD. BE. 👏

I wonder how true this best behavior is gonna be👀 JJ taking his team captaincy seriously with a formal announcement 👏🩵 Him adding Pope and John B’s names, I feel shit is gonna go down again?!? No literally please tell me they released the mic recording for everyone because that gonna hit. John B “let’s keep it about the game boys” but we all know if CU talked shit about Sarah or Maisie HE’D LEGIT MURDER SOMEONE

BRUHHHH😂😭 I can’t- JJ IMMEDIATELY CORRECTING CLEOOOOO 😍 stop, he listens to us. OFC I PROTECTED MY WIFE 💅 JJ immediately ready to throw it all away for us😭 baby noooo. The disbelief I can hear in his voice about us telling him not to leave and he’s like but a car accident 😂 we’re never gonna hear the end of this! Poor Pope, what a way to learn what’s happening. LMAO I CANT; “We got hit by a ditch.” “You ran into a ditch” no actually Maybank the ditched came outta nowhere and got us. All three of our boys coming 🫶 love our family. Where’s Sarah, Kiara, and Maisie during this???

Not Pope leaving us to the wolves 😂 John B so quick damn, and surprised their coach was okay with it. Pope immediately comforting us and trying to get it through our stubborn head that it’s okay and all that. I love Pope and readers friendship so much. JJ also jumping in and being like baby stop it’s okay is sweet.

STOP I LOVE THIS FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH. First off Cleo immediately putting an end to it and being like shut up bitch all the while comforting us. POPE AND JJ 😂 lmao I can’t, just know Cleo and reader will be on the bed cuddling and JJ and Pope are gonna be on the floor cuddling and pouting 😂 they’re legit like puppies. My question has been answered! The fact Kie and Sarah aren’t playing any games and getting blankets because this night is ending in a sleepover is adorable. Also love John B being like can’t argue with the wife.

NOT EVERYONE ENDING UP ON THE FLOOR 😂 besides our child and wife lmao love that. JJ how you HOG a floor man😂 he would too, all starfished. POPE☠️☠️ not underneath the rug! I can’t, a true sleepover. Guarantee JJ stole the blanket! Just to toss it😂 because he didn’t actually need it.

That would heal me too! Rafe🩵 and I know Maisie stealing the phone was the highlight for the both of them lmao. Sarah crying but John B actually have a meltdown😂

Kildare University- Senior Year: 2 (JJ)

Endings Announcement

Synopsis: A Social Media AU in which you find yourself at Kildare University along with your friends. Starting over at a new school shouldn't be difficult. Well, except for the fact that your ex-boyfriend is the quarterback, and you are the drum major. Add in a little bit of drama, a lot of friendship, an ex who can't seem to let you go, and a best friend who has been in love with you since you were kids and well? Welcome to KU!

Pairings: Past!Rafe x Reader, JJ x Reader, Rafe x Reader

Masterlist

Taglist:

@akobx @onelonelybitch @the-universe-and-karma @beeskisses @frankoceanluvr11 @ivy-34 @rafecameronsloverrrrr @k-k0129 @asyouwish-fromcabin3 @xoxo-ada @aariahnaa @strawberryforks @urbrunettebombshell @whatisoutside @spenceatiny18 @animalistic0 @modern-mermaid @ethanthequeefqueen @lilahrosee @aesthetic-lyss

[pom-friend]

Baeyl Teken’ghym || What shape does your pain take?

[Ghosts]

Your pain takes the shape of ghosts, haunting you, always there. No one would believe you if you told them, or understand even if they did. You don't know how to make them go away, or what they want. They just follow you, casting shadows over all you do, being your fears and the embodiment of all you've lost or are afraid of losing. They can't touch you though... Can they?

Tagged by @ceol-aen (thank you!)

Tagging @unsullied-skies (for Gotou), @ironeaters (for Baidur), and @corvvii (for Leonnaux)

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