#WHO CARES IF HE WAS ULTIMATELY THE ONE RESPONSIBLE. IT DIDN'T MATTER. SHIT WAS GOING TO BE FUCKED

[trans-estinien]

[another-goblin]

Some disjointed thoughts I have about this guy and related matters (warning—it's a lot)

I just think he's neat.

A little disclaimer: I love supporting my interpretations with screenshots, but there would be too many of these. This thing is big enough already. Just know that nearly every little bizarre thing is taken from the game. I didn't have to invent anything; he's eccentric enough as he is.

And there were some juicy things I didn't manage to screenshot, like Merlin commenting something like "Wow you guys are close huh" while running around having to listen to Indris and Ravion bicker. Merlin knows what's going on.

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So what's the most likely first surface level impression of Ravion?

He's the Queen's only son, so basically an ultimate nepo baby. He wears a mask, he's feminine, has strange mannerisms, and is kind of gay-coded. Knowing how this kind of stereotype has been traditionally used, he has to be a villain.

Look at the Exarchs:

Velara is the deranged fanatic of the three.

Thador is the quiet, duty-bound military type.

And Ravion has to be the Queen's good-for-nothing, slimy son, trying to seduce Indris into being evil too, right?

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Surprisingly, not even close. If you look at his actions, he seems like a decent guy. The thing is, he seems to put a lot of conscious effort into concealing this fact.

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For every good thing he does, he's ready with an alternative motive. And vice versa, for every questionable thing he does, there is probably a good reason for it. For example:

The very first time we see him, he disagrees with Velara, Thador, and the Queen on whether or not we should be killed. (I like this little cutscene because it shows that when it comes to important decisions, his powers are limited. The other two Exarchs will overvote him, and the Queen's word is the law anyway. So he has to act very carefully inside the limitations of his position.) But then he immediately tells Velara that he'll change his vote if she changes hers, pretending that he only did it out of contrarianism.

He only helped us break Indris from the palace in exchange for some information, and totally not because he cares for Indris and what he represents for Salthorin. But don't tell me Indris wouldn't have told him everything anyway.

He abdicated and made Indris the new leader. But only because he's lazy and hates responsibility.

He's so shallow that he only made Indris a captain because he's good-looking. But also because he's capable and can shoulder some of Ravion's responsibilities. But also because he's honest and noble in spirit and principled, and he's "the only light," yada-yada, and thus represents the only hope for Salthorin's future. But also, according to Xera, Ravion actually attempted to get commoners into the guard for quite some time, trying to make the trials easier and having priests present to provide participants with medical help and so on, and Indris just happened to be the first who succeeded.

He selfishly wasted our and Indris' valuable time in the middle of a crisis to help him find info on his dad, as if it's a good time for that. Or maybe he was making sure Indris wouldn't be threatened by an unexpected rival for the throne (aka his nonexistent dad).

(when talking to Thador trying to clear the way for us to rescue Indris) Whoops, he's just a silly prince and absolutely worthless as a leader, and his people don't respect him, but they love Indris, so better let Indris go, right? (and who gave Indris this opportunity to rise in the eyes of his peers to begin with?)

Why did he send Indris away to the surface? A lot of reasons, probably. How about "to save him from being assassinated"? (it's from one of his Heart-to-Heart dialogues )

And when he got Indris drunk that one time? (…nevermind, he was just being a little shit.)

So yeah, if it happened once or twice, I could have overlooked it. But every time? He's not beating the good guy allegations. I know what you are!

(I feel that some players got fooled by this too. But what else is new.)

And the best thing is, all these alternative motives are also probably true.

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And you know things aren't going well when he drops any pretense and openly begs Velara not to execute a crowd of innocent commoners.

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What if his mask is a metaphor for this?

The way he (reportedly) hides this under his mask:

The same way he seemingly hides a decent, caring person under his eccentric mannerisms and several layers of contradictory motivations.

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But this actually takes a lot of effort! Imagine doing good things left and right, and your closest people's (Indris and Xera) only reaction is "WTF is wrong with them?" (although actually I think Xera understands him well. And Indris probably does too)

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I just realized that the woman in all of their character introduction cards is probably the Queen before she changed. That's the face from her statue. And speaking of symbolism, both Velara and Thador, her most trusted allies, wear the same kind of circlet the Queen did. Ravion doesn't.

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But speaking of the Otivia debacle. It absolutely was his attempt at revenge for having to spend every guard party somewhere in a corner hugged tight by Indris, to prevent him from hugging the wrong person and getting kicked out from the guards.

But also Otivia and Xera are right! What do you mean an "exclusive scoop"? How are you so familiar with the strength of his hugs?

Just complain about how inexperienced Indris is at kissing, or rate his performance in bed next time and act surprised when it backfires too.

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Didn't his mom have a "your dad went to get some Divine Dew and never returned" talk with him?

Can you imagine a more bizarre list of possible dads:

"Please not Thador" (kind of understandable)

"Some dwarf" (I mean, why not. look at these dwarves)

He was immaculately conceived with the help of the holy spirit corrupted magic of the unborn dragons, to take on his mother's sins. So basically Jesus.

And that apparently was the right answer. Yeah it's a reasonable thing to suspect. Happens all the time.

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Why is he the only one who doesn't have a portrait here (This season's Heart-to-Heart)?

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Certified Drama Queen.

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Some important research I did:

Friendly reminder that Indris is built like a tank, especially in comparison to Ravioli noodle here.

As a connoisseur of size difference, I approve.

If this man decides to drunkenly hug you, you'll stay hugged until he sobers up.

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Btw I saw somebody call Indris a twink. Come on, he's 3 twinks standing shoulder-to-shoulder in a trench coat!

But if Zanie can call Ravion a himbo, then why not call Indris a twink, I guess.

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I'm curious, though, is Ravion actually taller than Indris? Because the heights in dialogues are all over the place (don't tell me Velara would be taller than Thador if he wasn't standing on an invisible box):

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He took my amulet with Indris' portrait in it (don't ask why I had it to begin with)

Is there a heterosexual explanation for this?

And if I ever get the Mini-Indris hat, will he take it away from me too? Is he just collecting Indris merch? Is he going to lovingly look at his new Indris amulet and sigh from time to time while Indris is away?

"Youth from lower classes" my ass. What about former royalty of indeterminate age???

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I've heard that Indris as a playable character isn't currently that useful and can't be properly utilized because he lacks a character who would work well with him. Ravion, when he's playable, will surely fulfill this role, right? Pretty please? I already have my Ravion funds secured, btw. No matter what, I'll use them together.

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This season raises the topic of motherhood, but in the most messed-up way possible.

The dragon was unconscious for millennia, bound by magic on the bottom of a lava sea, still giving birth to countless eggs without a mate (they were later destroyed by dwarves and the Essail). The Queen gave birth to dozens of children, also without a mate, as a means to get rid of her magical corruption.

And Ravion is connected to both of them, being the Queen's only surviving child and getting his "second half," as he calls it, from the corrupted magic of these unborn dragon embryos.

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But also, who talks to a grown man like this? A mom! (despite not being biologically connected to him and not caring about him more than just a product of her beloved Queen, she was probably the closest he had to a motherly figure. She even still calls him a boy in her tavern dialogue)

Ugh, it's not a phase, mom Velara!!!

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I have a type.

(is being into hands less frowned upon than being into feet?)

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Ravion's guide on following your boss' orders:

Show initiative by giving them orders instead. ("You're the boss, Indris, now go explore the surface")

Educate them on that orders you'd like to be given. (Indris, he doesn't want to patrol the streets, he wants to guard the pool)

Just ignore the orders you don't like. ("But he told you to wait here" - "I didn't hear anything, Merlin, let's go")

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I haven't been playing for long, and I'm confused about the structure of the seasons in this game, story-wise. I feel like the story ended on a cliffhanger: both Ravion and Thador talked about how the worst is yet to come for Salthorin (how all the inner tension will erupt in a bloody civil war).

Velara—I'm not sure, is she supposed to be dead? I thought she teleported away. If she's alive, she might want to put Ravion on the throne, out of loyalty to the Queen (the thing that the queen's old will warned about).

And Thador did literally nothing so far and then bravely ran away in the end. I have to copypaste his name every time I mention him because I don't even remember his name, that's how important he was. But again, that old will was written by the Queen even before Ravion was born, and it was talking about how Thador should kill both Velara and Ravion in case of the Queen's death. And there might have been a newer but equally fun will since. He has to get a bigger role by the time of his release, right?

So I kind of hoped for a new piece of the story for Phase 2, but I guess not. It says in the mission section that the main story is 90% finished, and I don't think that you can squeeze a civil war into the remaining 10%.

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PS Look at my cool Merlin. Too bad this spiky halo is going to expire soon, and I don't think I'll be able to get it again anytime soon. Oh and there is some guy. I think he's a hater.

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As always, these are just my opinions based on the current version of the game, Phase 2 of this season. Written mostly to get this stuff out of my system. Feel free to share what you think about it.

[iridescentdove]

👏I👏AM👏TIRED

of seeing so many Yandere! BSD x Reader, and it’s always the character or everyone being Yandere for Reader, I have to request a Platonic! BSD x Yandere! Teen! Reader, in which Reader is in any organization of your choice, and since Reader is underage, they see said organization as their family, precious people that they hold dear to their hearts, and don’t wish for any of them to die or leave and abandon them. This triggers their Yandere instincts, and ultimately they kill anybody who’s hurt their darlings in any way or attempts to "steal" their attention or worse, guide them away from Reader.

LONELINESS NO MORE.

platonic!bsd x yandere!teen!reader

A/N: It's nice to go a bit gruesome sometimes lol- anyways, so I just decided to choose the PM for this.

Let's just say you were similar to Dazai in a way. As a homeless young child, you had no home or family and friends to even call your own.

And to say the least? It was a little lonely.

This was something rather different, as you grew up to have an understanding that the world is never fair. Even before being taken into the Port Mafia by MORI, you were already much of an unhinged criminal yourself.

In a way, it was bad due to how young you were, but given this was a wretched world on it's own – many things can happen.

You killed, you stole, you did many things. At some point you probably rivaled Dazai's crime list because yours looked like an entire fucking receipt.

And that is what lesd you to the mafia.

MORI had found you, and went 'fuck it', deciding to just grab you and take you back with him to the base.

Well at first – you got a bit defensive, not knowing his real intention and thinking of fighting back yourself. But it was when he gave you new clothes, gave you food, and actually took responsibility of you was when you realized.

This man was just ... taking care of you.

And for the first time? You were really excited. It didn't take very long for you to grow accustomed to the Port Mafia.

Sure they made you do dangerous and gruesome missions, but you were used to it honestly. So it didn't matter that much. You met new faces and grew very attached to them, the dreaded loneliness that creeped into your heart grew into–

Obsession.

Yes, that's right. You found no other reason to dislike them at all, and they treated you like no one else ever did.

Like family.

CHUUYA was rather nice to you, despite his aggression and the rough edges he seems to pull off. Since you're underage, he drinks grape juice with you. Lmao ye, we love that shit. You liked being around him, defending him against accusations and giving him a shoulder to lean on.

He was like a brother to you. You adored most things about the fancy hat man. Scratch that, everything about him.

He releases one of those rare genuine smiles – mostly only to you, and he just thought you were the sweetest.

Oh, how wrong he was.

It was only one simple conversation. CHUUYA was talking to another mafia members in the lower ranks, discussing about the topic for the next PM meeting at hand.

Of course at first glance, they didn't look close at all. Just a normal chat between acquaintances. But did it make you mad?

Obviouely it did.

The very next day, the orange haired-man was looking for the same said man he spoke with the day before. Yet he was rather confused to see he wasn't around.

What the hell? Well that was weird, he could have sworn that he asked to meet them in this same spot right now.

Well, guess he wouldn't be meeting with them after all. In the distance, you were smiling – hiding that dead, cold expression on your face as you wiped the blood off the saw, a few splashee of blood and guts on the weapon.

But of course, you wouldn't let him know anything~ ♡

And simply, KOUYOU made it much easier. She was like a sweet, elder sister that spoiled you and taught you everything that you needed to know.

You simply loved her, and loved the times when you'd just hang around each other and dress one another up in various clothes. Be it trendy outfits or putting makeup on one another.

She took care of you as she should, and she grew very attached as well. KOUYOU was rather protective and sweet.

So when you saw her spoiling another girl in the picture, you were fucking livid.

How dare she pay more attention to another kid than you?

She was treating KYOUKA in private as if she was more important than you ever were. And it began to hardem your heart once more, growing angry at your elder sis paying more attention to some useless assassin.

You were way better than her, stronger even.

So imagine how relieved and prideful you felt when that girl had left the mafia to be with the detective agency instead. She wasn't even loyal! She doesn't deserve to be in the PM!

It left KOUYOU feeling agitated and sad, so you did what a younger sibling would do. You were the one comforting her, even manipulating her with your sweet words. You lured her in and had her give you more attention than before.

Just like how you wanted it to be.

AKUTAGAWA was honestly a tough nut to crack. You can easily tell he doesn't care about you at all. Well, he'd acknowledge your abilities a little but that's all you're getting.

But that won't stop you from killing those who tried to get even the slightest close to him.

After all, family members must stay with one another forever.

You didn't really mind much about that blonde girl who admires him and follows him around. It's not like she can take him away, he doesn't give a damn about her.

Plus, his sister was very nice! She gave you the love you needed, and she actually cared. Even though her brother was pretty cold, you'd think she also was – but in reality, GIN is a sweet, somewhat shy girl who gave you gifts and attention.

No matter which mafia member it was – wheneve ryou were with them, you were so sweet and caring, such an adorable teen who looks out for all of them and their wellbeing.

Yet behind closed doors, while they weren't looking, you glared daggers at other kids or people they payed attention to, your greedy self wanting all of it to yourself.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't!

You never held back. You spilled their guts out, you ripped out those fools' hearts – crushing it under your foot, knowing you deserved the love more than their ignorants asses ever did.

And most of all? No one noticed a thing. MORI had continued to send you out mission after mission. He didn't notice the desperate pleads of those immature adults, the heartbreaking cries of those innocent children.

If it was for family, you'd do anything.

After doing all that – you give them a sickly sweet smile, as you pull them to hang out and play with you, no questions asked.

They never noticed.

And quite clear, you were a sadistic young teen. After being so pissed seeing those people getting close to them, it's like a breath of fresh air when you hear the bloodcurdling screams coming from their mouths.

TACHIHARA wasn't that observant, but he could tell that there was something not right about you at all. Yet, he himself was not free from the depths of your pure, honest love. He'll find himself spoiling you, loving you – like you're his very own sister.

He was going to fall into the trap whenever he likes it or not, because you love them way too much.

If someone else tries to destroy that happiness,

They'll just have to dissapear like the rest.

[heavyhitterheaux]

The Marriage Pact Part 5 Preview

"Come on Y/N,  you had to have seen this coming from a mile away."

"How could I have seen this coming?" You asked Urban while you sat across from him on the balcony. You know he had to have been looking for you by now, but your phone still hadn't gone off with so much as a text message or a call. It was almost as if he didn't even care and that bothered you to no end.

"You know he’s a whore and it's always been like that, you turned a blind eye before but now that you're on the receiving end, everything isn't always what it seems huh? As much as he brushes it off, he is still insecure and embraces any type of attention that women give him even though by now he should only want that attention from you." Urban told you and you couldn’t help but for your eyes to water.

"Urby…."

This was the last thing that you wanted to hear right now.

"You thought that he would change for you? I mean that's fair seeing as how much he loves and cares about you, but is that enough to make him do it? I mean you said yes to marrying him so you are just as responsible for this as he is. He's my best friend too, but he has shown you time and time again the traits of someone who doesn't actually want to be tied down or married." Urban quietly confessed as he took a swig of his Modelo. 

"Then why in the world would he ask me to marry him in the first place? That's a serious commitment."

"Because he knows that you're the only one that is going to put up with his shit, no matter what he does and no matter how much it might affect you as horrible as that sounds. He knows that you're always going to be there. Just because his ass turned thirty doesn't mean that the maturity aspect is there. Y/N, I am in no way, shape, or form trying to hurt your feelings, like I said in the beginning, the last thing I want to see is both of you heartbroken but especially you. You don't deserve this."

"I just don't know what to do anymore. It's a continuous cycle. He does something that I don't like, I get pissed off, he apologizes, and does something else and the cycle continues. But this one takes the cake. How could he side with her when I have been there for him through everything? I have never steered him wrong and I have always had his best interest." At that point, Urban had handed you one of your favorite wine coolers knowing that this was going to be a long night.

"You know what you need to do. Put yourself first and I guarantee that will be the wake up call he needs to get his shit together."

"Does he even want to marry me anymore? That's the ultimate question."

"Now the only person that can answer that is him, but from the outside looking in…. Would you want to be married to someone who disrespected you like that yesterday?"

[brain-rot-central]

I just want to say I really loved how you wrote Tav and Astarion. Tav despite in a fragile position she is still determine to do stressful things for the sake of the safety of the people. For Astarion, I really liked that he is very morally conflicted which makes his past journey doesn’t feel wasted. And his obsessiveness is very intense.

Thank you!! Despite her being Durge, I do see Tavaria as being diplomatic. Perhaps she helped organize Ketheric's army during, or gave planning advice to Gortash. Who knows! But I do see her as being able to find common ground in most situations and essentially being the one to "do what's right," even if it's controversial or the more difficult decision. The fact that it's right is what matters.

Astarion, on the other hand...

Now that it's been almost 11 months post release, I have a few bones to pick with Astarion's endings. I will preface this by saying that I respect both endings and love and accept them (long time followers know how I push for tolerance of both and this is a welcome space for all), but I have to be honest.

I don't think the spawn ending would actually happen if you apply real world logic to someone like Astarion. He would pick ascension. I'm like 90% sure he would, especially if the game only spans 2-3 months.

Characters, and people, honestly, have an arc. Very rarely does the "rags to riches" trope ever pan out the way it does for the spawn ending. More often than not, people are down on their luck and often slip down further until they hit nothing.

Astarion ascending is him choosing himself and his fear of his independence being stripped away. When you're in a situation like that, that's all that matters to you. I speak from personal experience -- you literally do not give a shit if the world burns down around you. You may love and care for people, but you matter more.

Your ability to be safe and free from abuse in all forms matters most to you. Your ability to stop yourself from being taken advantage of in all situations matters most to you. Your ability to have control over almost every aspect of your life matters more to you than literally anything else. The alternative to any of that is akin to death itself.

It takes so much time to break out of that mindset. Once the hopelessness of a situation wears off, anger usually sets in. Resentment, spite, unrest -- sometimes at yourself for allowing a situation to go on for as long as you did. You're angry you didn't speak up and chose to let someone control you for so long, because it was the safer solution. You're angry you were forced into surviving a situation.

You feel ashamed of the person you were reduced to. Rather than meet them with kindness and grace, you spit on them, vowing to never allow yourself to sink to that level ever again. You will never let anyone put you there again.

But, that mindset is self-destructive in many ways. It chips into your personal relationships, because you're now fishing for any hint of someone trying to take advantage of you. You become paranoid, unreasonable. Prone to outbursts if things aren't going your way.

Inevitably, everyone leaves. And all you're left with is yourself, and your thoughts. You have no choice but to confront them, and apply logic and reasoning to them.

That's my logic when it comes to the ascension for Astarion. The ascension is his true "dark" arc, where he's fighting to save himself. It's not pretty, it doesn't make sense to everyone, but it works for him.

And Tav is there to help him, because she gets it. She's been through it herself, remembering all she's done and was likely forced to do. She understands how to put words to the raging inferno within him. But she also feels responsible for allowing him to slip down this path. She's a little further along on her own healing journey, and will try helping him anyway she can.

Love is the ultimate form of vulnerability, and they both struggle with expressing that. To love someone is to be vulnerable -- you accept the possibility that this person may rip your heart out and ground it into the pavement. You accept the possibility that this person will leave a permanent imprint on your heart, and hope to whatever higher being there is that it doesn't become a scar. Doesn't become something else you'll have to survive. To love someone is accepting that this person may forever change your life. And that's scary fucking shit.

Sorry for the impromptu character study on your ask, anon. I just really love their dynamic so much lmao

[whmee]

Some yapping about Coleman and the crew because this just popped into my head

Coleman is like,, arguably the only character who did something pretty fucked up presumably on purpose and with no reasonable explanation? What I'm saying is he's the only one to actively commit a crime in the game

Him pretending to be an engineer is literally illegal. What he's doing is literally fraud by false representation and (this is a stretch but) he's endangering the entire crew by not knowing what he's doing, like he's literally running the boat. If it weren't for Sara then he would be fucked, Sara did a lot of his job FOR him and plus she was the one who found his stupid ass manual anyways

Like yeah, every character has done fucked up shit but its not nearly as dangerous as what he's doing

Henry actively thinks that men should be in charge over women but it seems like he falls through with his words basically the entire time. With him it seems like he's bitter over his ex than actually hating women, he's just expressing it in a really shit way towards everyone. No one is taking their job seriously, he's still stuck up on alcohol after presumably years and he doesn't even have the right equipment to do his job with. He ultimately cares but he's hidden in such bitterness and anger that he only shows it in subtle actions and in private

Angela has shown to be very bland and sometimes downright ignorant of the crew (tells Adela to "calm down" as she's freaking out about seeing thew die, her dismissing Coleman's disappearance as Sara was in distress, etc) but literally she's been working all her life. She's anxious, panicking, she's never been in this situation before? Yes she dismissed the absence of some of her crew but she was thinking of everyone. She thought it'd be best to stay on the boat because she didn't know what was out there, and reminder THIS IS HER FIRST TIME BEING A CAPTAIN OF A BOAT AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG. Yes, people disappeared but all she knew is that she didn't want to lose more of them

And Weil, Weil is considered to be very creepy and he literally tells a woman HE KNEW AS SUICIDAL to kill herself, but he's lost everything. He can't return to his normal life no matter how hard he tries, and he's tried so hard. He was kidnapped and forced to be the reason these people get led to their deaths, he has to be a kiss ass to his kidnapper so he could maybe appease him enough to be let free of the timeloop. He will never see his family and he will never see his daughter again, she was only 4 when he left. What's even worse? He's seen everybody in the loops die to the point he can predict when people will die and how. He knows that whatever he says doesn't matter because NOTHING to him matters anymore. But to make it worse? He genuinely cares about the crew. He even tried to poison the crew to make it so they pass in their sleep so they don't have to suffer. But he knows it's futile. It's going to repeat and it's not going to matter, not now or ever

Basically Henry is an asshole and says a lot of misogynistic shit but he only says it because his life sucks ass and he doesn't have a single healthy outlet so he takes it out on everybody, Angela is ignorant and flat but she's never done anything else but work, her life is ending so abruptly and she's responsible for the lives of everyone on the boat, she's beyond stressed. And Weil is going through actual hell and he knows what he does isn't actually going to leave an impact

But what they did wasn't a crime

But COLEMAN? Hes facing becoming a felon with what he's doing, he's doing it out of determination to prove himself but this might be the worst way to do it. He's inexperienced and yet he took on one of the most important jobs and has been lying about it to everyone, by God he literally shared a room with HENRY. Henry, who does not fuck around with people like that. Hes met the captain and pretty much everyone of importance and less and yet everyone fully believes he is competent. He lied to literally everyone about COMMITTING AN ACTUAL CRIME!! He had somewhat of a reason for it but if we're being real, it wouldn't hold up in court if he was caught

And what makes it worse? Literally there's just no excuse for him doing that shit that makes it okay in the slightest

Henry fell back on his words several times and at the end of the day he cared about the crew, some more than others but he did his best with what he had and his current situation

Angela was doing what she thought was right and actually, she was right! She was the only one who didn't do something overly stupid and she thought of everyone involved, yes she could be perceived as an asshole for how she treated the crew and them disappearing but her entire world was literally collapsing, and she did what she could. And even then when she realized they were all going to die, she set up a whole ass final meal with Henry, and let them at least have fun for one last time

Weil, who arguably did the worst shit in the game, has no control over anything, even himself. He knows that everything he says and does is worthless so he says everything for his entertainment, and yet despite the fact he knew it would be worthless to try anything, he still cared about the crew

Coleman did it out of desperation of approval, to prove himself. And during that episode of desperation, endangered an entire crew and committed fraud

Say what you want that none of what they did was ok, but by God at least acknowledge that at most the crew is full of assholes and that's about it. This man literally is committing fraud and no one gaf about it

[candyskiez]

Feel free to chat about whatever fic you want :)

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. Or, send in a ⭐star⭐ to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

oooo okay let's go!!! I'm picking this section of my fic stubborn

"Raine was quiet for a moment, pensive. 

 

"Alright,  you're guilty. So what are you going to do about it?"

 

"What?"

 

"You treated him badly. You were wrong. So how are you going to make up for it?" 

 

"It's not that simple, Songbird."

 

"Let me ask you this: do you care about him?"

 

"...Yes. Yes I do." He was fond of him, once he actually got to know him. Once he saw what the kid was like, really like, well…how could he not be? He was kind, and earnest, and passionate and a bit of a dork, albeit with a dark sense of humor. He was a good kid, a damn good one in fact. Those sewing lessons were some of the first Non-Eberwolf related good memories he'd made in…decades, really. "But that doesn't change how I treated him."

 

"You're right. It doesn't. So what do you want to do to fix it?"

 

Darius wanted to reply with something witty, like he always did. It was how he worked. Uncomfortable situation? Sass your way out of it. Works every time. Except for when he can't think of one. 

 

"There are plenty of people far more qualified to help him than I am."

 

"So what are you gonna do when he comes back? Ignore his existence? Do you really think that'd help? How do you think that'll come across?"

 

"It doesn't matter , Raine. He's dead. There's no point speculating. He's gone." 

 

"And what if he isn't? What are you going to say to him?"

 

He goes quiet. Raine sighs.

 

"Look, I get you're guilty. How you treated Hunter was wrong. But avoiding him isnt going to fix it. All you'll do is hurt him and make him think he did something wrong. You wanna make it up to him? Then apologize. If he doesn't want you in his life? Live with it. If he does? Then do better. And don't do it just for Jasper, or because you promised him. Do it because, at the very least, Hunter deserves an apology.""

a thing that always bugs me about a lot of stories about guilt is that it's often treated like the guilt matters more than the one who's hurts comfort. and also how much apologies are treated less as giving the one who was hurt and yourself closure, and more like "now you have to forgive me." which...isn't good. at all. sometimes, forgiving someone is good for you. other times, it isn't. whether or not reconciliation is the healthiest option solely depends on the one who's hurt comfort. if being around them makes them miserable, they shouldn't be expected to reconcile just because the person who hurt them is so so so so guilty. what I really wanted to focus on in this fic was yeah, darius is guilty. but is he going to be sorry, or is he going to be better. (the answer is the latter, dw he's being Responsible.) I didn't want this fic to feel like "ohhh no Darius made a mistake so it's all about HIM feel bad for HIM." it's about darius getting his shit together. and ultimately darius ignoring hunter or distancing from him on the assumption that he won't want him around would hurt the fuck out of him, because it'll only be perceived as rejection, as him hating him. leaving someone for their own good with no warning? that fucks a person up. bad. and is a fucking awful thing to put someone through. this scene is basically raine just saying it how it is. give hunter the choice. stop running from your guilt by pretending there's no chance he's still alive. admit that you're scared he's hurt, and let him make his own decisions. if he wants to avoid you, leave him alone. if he wants you in his life, do better. it is NOT your choice on if he forgives you. it's his. this is probably incoherent and badly worded but here hold this.

[bluerose5]

20, 29, 30

From these Warden/HOF questions.

20. Is there anyone in camp who they do not like? Why?

Too slow! You got beat to this question. Answered it here though! 😁

29. How did the Warden feel learning about how Archdemons are killed?

Knowing Darrian, he was probably angry about it, because he's my beloved baby boy with a short fuse who is so Tired of This Shit by that point. <3 Also, learning that the Wardens keep yet another crucial part of their job, another life-threatening part of it, secret? Go figure. He'd get why they would hide it. He probably wouldn't even be surprised that it takes something like this to end a Blight. They don't say "In death, sacrifice." for nothing after all, but none of that means he has to be happy about it either. He gets to be upset and angry and frustrated about the Ultimate Sacrifice, especially when that responsibility has to potentially fall to either him or Alistair if Riordan doesn't pull through (which as we know, he doesn't). Not only that, but everything about the act is all horrifically final as well. This isn't just death. This is the total annihilation of their soul. If there was an afterlife, they wouldn't be finding out one way or another. Of course, he would do it, like everything else he has done as a Warden, if that is what it took to save the world and the people he loves and cares about. If another opportunity were to arise, however...

Well, he's not opposed to taking what he thinks is the ultimate act of selfishness on his part, but he didn't come all that way to lie down and accept defeat. Being a Grey Warden might have been a prolonged death sentence in his eyes —and still is for the moment— but he has so much more to live and fight for beyond that now. He's not done leaving his mark upon the world. (Thank you, Morrigan!)

30. Did they agree to Morrigan's ritual? If so why, or why not?

Well, accidentally answered this in the last question at the end there, but yes! He agrees to the ritual. So much was taken from him when he was recruited. He decides it's his turn to take back, simple as that. It is a selfish decision on his part, and he will not even deny it. Several people in the Alienage told him how being a Warden was a good thing for him, and while it did get him out of the Alienage to explore beyond those walls, there are still so many places that he wants to see and things that he wants to experience before he dies. He is only starting to truly live, and he's not ready to give that up, not even taking into account his relationship with Zevran either.

Plus, he does trust Morrigan. Even if she has her own goals in mind for the things she does, he doesn't foresee her using their child for any nefarious purposes. And if she does, then that's his responsibility and something to worry about in the future, he figures. Part of him is more worried about not being involved in his child's life, but he will respect her wishes on that matter.

[noahschnappinfs]

To the people upset that Noah isn't speaking about the things that are happening to him - this is literally what PR teams are for. It's not because they hate him and aren't handling things well. They aren't keeping him silent. It's because the second you acknowledge something it makes it into an even bigger deal. Especially if you are denying an allegation which always comes across as phony. People make up so much shit about public figures on a regular basis, no one is wasting their time addressing every rumor. It adds fuel to the fire. The only time celebs address drama like that are when there is tons of evidence, it's not going away on it's own, it's hurting their career, and/or it's something illegal/requires an apology or explanation. Nothing that happened to Noah fits this. It's all been dumb rumors that can easily been disproven so it's not on him or his team to fix it. His fans do that part for him. Because if someone unfamiliar with this situation was scrolling through and found all this drama, they would see enough people talking about how it's not true to doubt it. It's possible he will address the harassment at some point, but he doesn't need to. If he does, all he has to do now is talk about how people sent him death threats and made shit up about him relentlessly for months and most people reading that would feel bad for him. He's the victim here and any logical person can see that. Anyone who matters (i.e. people who would hire him) clearly don't care or he'd be in damage control mode and would never be allowed on social media again. Staying quiet when things like this happen is the best thing to do. Always. If someone spreads a rumor about you and says "You hate gay people" with no evidence backing it up. Is your response to be like "OMG NO I DON'T!! I NEVER SAID THAT! I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT! MY BEST FRIENDS ARE GAY!!" It doesn't sound genuine. It seems forced and like it's a lie. So when someone makes something up about a public figure they never address it. There is no reason to. All it does is make people believe the lie more and it makes people search for evidence that it's true, which leads to them digging things up and twisting things around. People who want to believe the worst in him are always going to. It doesn't matter what he does or what he says. The people who aren't irrational haters are at least willing to hear him out and give him a chance to explain if he needs to. But this is not even close to being a situation where he needs to explain himself. This isn't anything. And from a PR standpoint, the past few months have not been a situation that needed to be addressed either. It's why the only thing he did was post a video clarifying what he said, and then took some space from social media since the harassment was relentless. That's all that needed to happen there. The people who went after him were always going to. He didn't actually do anything wrong and they don't want to believe that. I'm thinking that what may happen is that he might be a bit more cautious about his social media again, but ultimately I think the worst of the drama has passed. So I don't think things will change much. He will probably talk about this at some point later - I think maybe when S5 is being promoted - in case dumb shit gets dug up again. But seriously. There is no evidence he said the things he said or did what people are accusing him of, so this isn't something PR teams worry about too much. Their big issues are the people who actually cause problems and there is tons of evidence.

i agree with you.

[down-thedrain]

for the opinion post ummm let me know your opinion on either six or mark heathcliff ^_^

ohhhhhhg okay . youre taking me out of my comfort zone i never thing about the alternates LMFAOOOOOO. putting this under the cut cuz its long

ig ill start with mark??? first of all nonbinary as hell and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you. second xe's a very interesting character to talk about because basically everything i can say about xem spirals into other characters but ill try to keep this focused on xem as much as possible. anyways GOD i miss act 1 when we were constantly learning new information about xyr life and xyr suicide. i honestly really wish the first act had gone even farther with establishing xem because i feel like all we really know about xem is the encounter and xyr paranoia. especially since alex didn't intend to go much farther with xem after the first act it would have been nice to get more detail with xem back then.

LUCKILY I AM THE RULER OF MAKING UP RANDOM BULLSHIT ABOUT CHARACTERS ! SO I DONT CARE

i genuinely think mark had so much love to give to so many people but it just got stifled again and again and its extremely heartbreaking . i think mark wanted to be better and make a difference in the world but ultimately was never allowed to. xe was excited to have a baby sister, as evidenced by alt!cesar using her against xem in vol 1 restored. xe was glad to FINALLY leave school (i believe xe was a senior when xe died. which is awful but yk) after giving everything xe had left in xem to just barely pass. xe loves a lot of things about life like the autumn leaves and drumming and . xyr one friend that xe does doesnt even like xem. but its okay xe's sure xe's just misjudging him!!!! (xe's too afraid to confirm or deny this.)

but i think all that love gets stifled by xyr environment. xe's miserable, feeling restrained by the stories xe's had drilled into xyr head from birth; even though xe still believes them, xe's been coming dangerously close to seeing the holes poked into xyr little worldview. xe fights every day to hold onto those little things that make them happy, because some days it feels like thats all xe has. and okay i was memeing earlier when i said people who tell you mark isnt nonbinary are lying but unironically i think mark takes solance in xyr identity because its the one thing no one can take away from xem to matter how hard they try. xe's continuously told that xe has to succeed and be fine for the sake of everyone else around xem and it exhausts xem because xe is traumatized. its so awful and xe's so tired of it all. thank god this this the last year of high school, because maybe now xe can finally hope to be free.

but. yk. thats not really how the story goes. is it.

it is a sin to kill a mockingbird.

UHHHHH SHIT NOW I GOTTA TALK ABOUT SIX NOW OOPS!!!! like i said earlier i dont. think. about the alternates very much. they just arent interesting to me in the same way the human characters are. theyre interesting in their own way of course!! but personally i prefer the more complex and nuanced conflicts present between the human characters.

HOWEVER!!!!! six really stands out from all the other alternate characters because . a. the implication that he ISNT an alternate makes me crazy insane and i really hope that gets elaborated on in vol 5 and b!!!! he's responsible for so much in the plot and a lot of the conflicts that i really love in the human characters. he's responsible for mark's paranoia, adam being. like that. lynn dying which brings thatcher and ruth over to the murray house and resulting in ruths death. SO GODDAMN MUCH. he influences nearly EVERY major aspect of the plot but in a much more direct way than gabriel does, and that makes him much more interesting to me. i really like how so much of it can be traced back to him and he DOES SOMETHING WITH THIS. he comes in to talk to adam and is like hey girl. im gonna drop the most devastating information of your entire life without any kind of warning whatsoever. oh yeah and you also only met me like two days ago in a basement after you lost the only person that ever cared about you. get fucked ! and thats so funny to me . i love him hes a piece of shit

unfortunately like i said i just dont think of him in a blorbo way like i do with the human characters.... (and adam) i just dont think hes all that 3 dimensional. i think the POINT of him is to be creepy and uncomfortable and threatening and making it so that he like. cares. about mark or adam or wtv kinda kills the vibe?? i really like when people do it in aus and such but trying to apply it to canon. cant say im a fan sorry. IT CAN DEFINITELY BE INTERESTING THOUGH just not for a horror series that horror in it. yk what im saying

uhhh idk how to end this post. i could talk about how mark and six relate to each other but im tired LOL i think six should bring mark back wrong that would be fun. bless

[prettybrownelf]

I need Eddie Munson x male reader who Acts lile Wednesday Addams!! Pleaseeeee

a/n- I hope you enjoy!

The Cold Goth And The Eccentric MetalHead

Non MLM/NBLM DNI

Pairings- Eddie Munson x Male Reader

Summary- Eddie finally gets a date with the goth he's been obsessed with

Word Count- 926

Content Warnings- None, Slight Fluff

To say Eddie was excited was an understatement.

He had been working up the nerve to ask you out for weeks, and he honestly didn't expect you to say yes. Of course, you didn't exactly seem excited about it, you just gave him a stone-faced ‘ok’, but that doesn't matter now. He finally gets to go out on a date with the boy he couldn't stop thinking about.

Robin said it probably wasn't a good idea, that you would probably break his heart in some way, but Eddie didn't care. He understood why everyone else would think that about you, but he saw something different. You weren't just a cold-hearted goth to him, there's more to you, and Eddie wants to see it.

Eddie's legs refuse to stay still as he paces in front of the carnival. ‘Did he stand me up? Did he just say yes to get me to go away?’ Eddie's thoughts are stopped by the familiar monotone voice he loved so much. “Munson?” His eyes shoot to you immediately, scanning over your black and white clothes. You stood with perfect posture, hands held firmly behind your back. Eddie a soft smile crawls over Eddie's face as he messes with the chain at his side. “Hey! You look great.” You seem weirded out by his compliment but nod anyway. “Likewise.” Eddie moves to the side and bows jokingly. “This way my good sir.” You say nothing as you make your way past him, Eddie standing beside you as you both make your way into the carnival.

Bright lights and colors surround the two of you as Eddie stops at one of the games. He picks up one of the fake guns as the woman behind the counter takes a ticket from him. Sweat builds on his hands as he tries to keep his concentration straight. ‘Don't embarrass yourself. Don't embarrass yourself.’ But ultimately, he does.

Eddie groans as he puts the gun back, looking at his score of three. The woman shrugs and wishes him luck next time. He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly as he turns back to you. “Sorry, I was trying to win you that big back bear up there.” You're silent as you hand the woman one of your tickets, picking up the fake gun. The wooden panels move back and forth as Eddie watches in awe. Your face is straight as normal as you effortlessly hit every single panel. The woman behind the table seems taken aback as she asks which prize you'd like. You wordlessly point up to the large black bear. Eddie stands like an idiot as you look up at him, holding the bear in your arms. “Let's go.”

Eddie follows quickly behind you as you make your way further into the carnival. “Holy shit dude, how’d you do that?” “I loved hunting with my father when I was younger, it was a great bonding experience.” Eddie nods. “I used to hunt with my uncle, mostly deer though. What did you guys hunt?” You look up at him, face never changing. “Anything that wouldn't run fast enough.” Eddie nods slowly as you look away from him. Eddie was getting nervous. You didn't seem to be enjoying your time, no matter how many jokes he cracked you didn't even give a hint of a smile. Eddie walks with you to the entrance as the night comes to an end.

Suddenly, a small booth catches Eddie's eye. “Stay here for a minute.” He says as he runs off before he can hear your response. The old man behind the counter looks up at him and smiles. “Hey, could I get that scorpion necklace?” He nods as Eddie ruffles through his pockets for money. The second the chain is in his hand Eddie runs back to you, quickly thanking the man.

Normally Eddie would try to be more put together, but his mouth is moving before his mind can tell him to stop. “Listen, I know this really isn't your scene, and I'm sorry if this was just a huge bore for you.” Eddie pulls out the small necklace, a small scorpion contained in gelatin in a small jar.

For the first time all night, Eddie sees a spark of something in your eyes. “So I got you this, I thought it was kinda your style.” You wordlessly turn around for him to put it on you. Eddie prays you don't notice how he clearly enjoyed touching your skin as you turn back to him, holding the small jar in your fingers.

Eddie's face lights up as a small smile crawls to your face. “This is magnificent.” But the smile is gone just as quickly as it came as you look up at him. “I will cherish it till my dying breath.” Eddie smiles as he walks you to the front of the carnival. Before he's able to say his goodbyes, you turn away from him. “I really enjoyed our time together tonight Munson, I would like it if we could do this again.” Eddie can feel the blush on his face as you turn back to him, refusing to meet his eyes. “Yeah! Yeah, we can absolutely do this again.” You seem conflicted as you take a small step toward him, Eddie moves closer, feeling his face getting redder. You quickly kiss him on the lips as you immediately begin walking away, leaving Eddie in shock. “I'll see you later Munson!”

Eddie smiles to himself as he watches you go. “Yeah, I'll see you later.”

[crossdressingdeath]

#literally this though#like.... that line from gale where he (understandably) is like 'uh i need to think about this' when he finds out durge's role in all this#has been living rent free in my head#as a moment where durge kind of seriously has to reckon with the fact that the people they care about as friends and/or lovers#can only really care about them so long as they repress so many of their thoughts and feelings#in order to be loved and cared for by their friends they have to try really really hard to be something they might not want to be#vs gortash who accepts them as they are (tags via @veilkeeper)

There's a part of me (not a very charitable part) that wonders if part of the reason why only Karlach and Gale have any response to the reveal that Durge was Bhaal's Chosen and a member of the villain triumvirate is because the writers weren't sure how to keep everyone sympathetic while getting into it so they put it off and ended up not going back to it. It's a very difficult situation to write, because it is incredibly understandable that the companions are Very Much Not Pleased by this reveal and it makes sense that they want to pull back and pretend it didn't happen and Durge wasn't ever that person, but it's still got to hurt Durge to know that their friends want nothing to do with that part of them! It's very fair that the others feel horrified, upset, maybe even betrayed by the reveal that Durge holds so much of the responsibility for what's happening to them and to the world, but Durge is now being forced to face the fact that if they don't completely separate themselves from the person they were it'll drive a wedge between them and everyone they love in this new life. It's one of those fun situations where everyone is in the right and the wrong at the same time and everyone's feelings are very fair and valid and it would for sure make camp fantastically uncomfortable for at least a few days. Just in general the way the companions almost all respond to Durge being Bhaalspawn with "Hey, don't be evil" is so much, I have many thoughts, it's fantastic, but then there's this reveal and not being evil is suddenly not an option because... they were. And how can anyone really respond to that? It's not like it can be undone! It really is such a shame that most of the group just doesn't respond at all, Larian please instead of furring and shaving cats could you maybe patch in the companions responding to Durge being partially responsible for all of this. Please may we have companion responses, I want to see them having to Deal With This Shit (and maybe also them asking Durge how they feel about this, because the way Durge isn't given a chance to respond to the reveal that they were Bhaal's Chosen is a real missed opportunity).

Meanwhile Gortash's response to seeing Durge is entirely positive, even knowing that they've been working to undo the plan this whole time. He's genuinely delighted to see them, he offers them an alliance without hesitation and tells them as much of their history as he can in the short time they have to talk at the inauguration. I haven't gotten to his post-Orin dialogue, but from what I've seen he's equally supportive and pleased whether Durge fully commits themselves to serving Bhaal or rejects him entirely. Gortash just really likes Durge! It probably does help that he met them at their worst and so knew what to expect (and I'm also convinced that he did soften them up at least a little from being Bhaal's stone-cold divine assassin, which might play a part in him being so quick to accept they're not as evil as they used to be), but the way Gortash fully accepts that this person in front of him is ultimately the same person as his dear friend and ally is so good. He's only displeased with Durge if they refuse the alliance or turn on him, which is them proving they aren't the person he knew and trusted. As long as he recognizes his old friend in Durge he's so happy to have them around again no matter how much they've changed, it's phenomenal!

No thoughts. Head empty. Gortash being the only person in the world to love and care for Durge both as Bhaal's Chosen and as an amnesiac hero only.

[avelera]

The Narrative Morality of HBO's "Barry" Series Finale

OK, so post HBO Barry series finale, I'm trying to figure out what I call the "narrative morality" of the story. IE, what morality is rewarded, what gets punished, and whether or not there's a common thread at all, because a story where no consistent morality is rewarded or punished is also a statement.

So let's dive in with a few of my takeaways on what Barry is trying to "say", at least within season 4 and its finale. Cut for spoilers.

Possibility 1: "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

This to me is not the most convincing argument, but it is the quickest to articulate. There is no narrative morality. The fact is that Bill Hader is making a statement about the inherent senselessness of life. Fuches didn't deserve to get away. Coiseneau didn't deserve to go to jail for Barry's crimes. People deserved a happy ending who didn't get one, despite doing everything right, and people who deserved to die didn't and indeed, have every indication of going on to live fulfilling lives.

On a wider level, it's an indictment of Hollywood and films (in my opinion) like American Sniper that glorify violence and turn villains into martyrs. By expecting a moral to this Hollywood story, you are played for a fool. It means nothing. It all means nothing. Objectively, many people are dead who didn't deserve it or take any actions to cause it. To seek meaning in the violence is a fool's game.

Possibility 2: "To Thine Own Self Be True"

The only way to gain redemption in "Barry" is to operate with integrity. By coming clean to her son about what she did and who she really is, Sally secures for herself a marginally happy ending as a theater teacher with a son who loves her and the adoration of her students.

By realizing that he has always been, deep down, a heartless piece of shit and a criminal, Fuches self-actualizes, becomes who he has always been deep down, redeems himself by rescuing Barry's son (who he put in danger in the first place) and walks off into the night, presumably satisfied with his choices.

By resolving in his final moments to come clean about Janet's murder, Barry didn't fully secure redemption but he did get all he prayed for: to be seated at the right hand of his father figure in death, to be seen as a hero by his son, and to be lionized after his death.

By failing to admit to himself that he was the cause of Cristobal's death, NoHo failed to achieve redemption. Instead, he receives the fool's gold of dying in his lover's arm, a statue of his lover literally made of fool's gold. He told Sally there was nothing he could do to help her, he failed to take responsibility in that moment, because he did have the power to act with integrity, just like he did in the events leading up to Cristobal's death, and he failed to do so. His reasons were understandable but ultimately, he wore a mask, and those who wear masks are punished by this narrative.

Coiseneau is the fakest of them all. On numerous occasions he's given chances to come clean, to act with integrity, to care about what actually matters in life like Janice and his son. He is over and over again tempted away from acting with integrity by instead pursuing fame and the appearance of success. He is no inherently a bad person, but he is over and over again show to be far too seduced by the temptations of Hollywood fame and his own legend to ever truly break free and act with integrity.

Janice's father also fumbles with integrity at the end, choosing the easy explanation of Coiseneau being his daughter's murderer, rather than pursuing the truth. As a result, his daughter's true murderer is lionized by the media and her lover is wrongfully convicted of her death.

In essence, when people act with falsehood and give in to convenient narratives about themselves, instead of pursuing integrity and truth, regardless of the morality of that inner truth (being a criminal is still Fuches being true to himself) the narrative punishes them. When people are true to themselves and act with integrity, even if its only to admit their own monstrousness, the narrative rewards them.

As a story told by Bill Hader, who is embedded in the shallowness of Hollywood with its shifting alliances, massive egos, frailties and foibles, "Barry" as a story about fake people constantly failing to improve themselves, act with integrity, or even acknowledge who they really are, but choosing to live instead in the fairytale palaces of their false images of themselves, fits thematically with much of what we see on screen. It doesn't preclude other themes and morals, but to me at least, there's a running theme of integrity vs. falsehood in terms of who is rewarded by the narrative and who is punished.

Possibility 3: Every Act of Violence Removes More Of Our Choices

Violence is condemned by the narrative of "Barry" but in a very interesting way. One act of violence never cements a person's unhappy ending, but it removes choices available to them. Each lost life is one more path that has been cut off from the world, and the characters who commit violence, who commit murder, see their own lives and available choices pruned away as well with each murder committed.

The narrative is actually rather optimistic towards Barry when he first signs up for the acting class. There is a sense that this is his highest point, his earnest decision to try to escape the violence. However, his past haunts him. It cuts away options he might have had in his own happiness. When he chooses to return to that world out of self-interest, the narrative once again condemns him. Each murder, each coverup with another murder, spirals. Each death cuts away another path Barry might have taken in his life. He can no longer visit friends without guilt. He can no longer have people in his life, or be an actor the way he wanted to, or enjoy the acclaim he hoped to achieve, or live openly with his family eventually, in a place of his choosing, because of his acts of violence.

Sally commits only one major act of violence, but that too has a sense of placing a ceiling upon all she might have achieved in life. She can no longer act freely without guilt. She can no longer aspire to heights that would draw attention to her that might uncover the murder. She can no longer be all she might have been, because she is responsible for a man's death.

Coiseneau is punished by the narrative for the violence he partakes in. He is punished when he chooses to act with violence and shoot "Barry", who turns out to be his own son. He is punished when he does not act to bring Janice's actual killer to justice. He is punished when he doesn't wait a few more moments for Barry to turn himself in for Janice's murder, instead taking Barry's death into his own hands and damning his own memory as a result. All his choices are taken away by this moment of violence.

Fuches might have finally blossomed into the criminal he has always been, deep down, but his options are still limited. He is a figure of shadows now, incapable of coming out into the light. He can't share Barry's life with him, or be in John's life, or walk openly outside the criminal element. He has found himself in the darkness, but each act of violence has reduced all his other options to nothing, he cannot have anything but the life of a petty criminal.

The organized crime characters all have their choices limited by the violence they've committed, over and over. They don't get out. They suffer brief, brutal lives, often dying as a result of their own machinations. Cristobal tries desperately to go legitimate, but can't escape his past. NoHo wants desperately to live in a world where he can be safe, have Cristobal, be happy, and be fulfilled, but the violence he's partaken in precludes this, it closes so many of these doors to him. With Cristobal's death, he loses even more.

Each act of violence diminishes us. It diminishes the world. It reduces the choices available to us and to the world, because those two are inextricable. Violence is not only never the answer, it steals from the life and options of those who commit it.

[nik-840]

Lucifer x Gn Reader

Description: The reader is an Angle that used to be Lucifer's lover. However due to God intervening the couple no longer remember each other

Word Count: 2,620

Long ago just before the great war, God created a string of new Angels, just a handful. They were unrelated to God’s other children. They were created by him, yes but they were not children of the Goddes or children at all really. They were meant to be soldiers and soldiers only. But there is always a calm before a storm and in this calm two angels fell in love, the light bringer and his favorite star.

God could see everything or just about everything. He could see how Lucifer’s love for you overshadowed everything else. He saw that this would lead to Lucifer’s ultimate betrayal. If only he could see how his actions played a role in all this.

God decides to kick you out of heaven technically making you the first to fall. Except you didn't go to hell, you fell to earth lost and confused. This is the final straw for Lucifer and the war is waged. Once it's over the memory of Lucifer’s lover is erased from the minds of everyone who knew them. 

When you fell you lost your wings and with them, went your ability to remember not just the days in Eden but also the lifetimes spent walking the Earth alone. You wander for millennials never quite sure what's missing until you find him again in a city called Los Angeles.

The memories don’t come back for either of you when you find him again. But you become close and you just hold on to him. It doesn’t take long for you to realize you are in love with him but he was occupied with Chole. You didn’t want to say that you hated Chole but you strongly disliked her.

It had been a month or so since Lucifer revealed the truth to her. She was a wreck and ran off to Europe. She hadn’t even been back for a week and you had already noticed how it was affecting Lucifer. He was in more distress now than he had been the whole time she was gone. You were already tired of her. Lucifer would never say anything about it; he's too worried about her opinion of him. You on the other hand couldn't give two shits what she thought of you. You had a bone to pick with her so you showed up on her doorstep. 

“What the fuck is your problem?!” She looked completely dismayed.

“Excuse me?”

“You've been treating Lucifer like shit since you got back from your stupid trip.” She stuttered for a while trying to come up with a good reason. “Don't lie Decker you ran off to Europe for space or whatever. But now you're back and you're acting like he's harmed you.” 

“I've been going through a lot this isn't easy for me. Would it make me crazy if I was scared of him? I mean Lucifer, he's dangerous.”

“ Of course, he’s fucking dangerous he's the devil who cares?”

“What?”

“You're not the only human who's in on the secret Chloe but you are the only one who reacted like this. I've known for way longer than you and I've never been scared and it's not because I'm blind to the fact that he could hurt me or others. I'm not scared because he's never given me a reason to be. I know he won't hurt me because all he's ever done is protect me and you for that matter. He's powerful but I know he would never hurt an innocent person. Being scared of him might not make you crazy but it definitely makes you weak.”

All she does is stare and stutter as tears start to build up in her eyes. 

“Listen you need to get your shit together or break it off. Pretending that you care while you won't let Trixie see Maze and jump when Lucifer touches you is just sick. Make a decision or I’ll make it for you.”

You weren't waiting on a response so you just walked off and got in your car you had nothing else to say to Chole Decker. Plus there was someone who needed your attention back at Lux. When you get there the first person you see is Maze whose apparently been looking for you. 

“Where’ve you been all night your missing the party.”

 “Oh you know just out I had to make a stop off on my way here.”

 “Oh?” She looked mildly interested hoping it was something exciting. 

 “Yeah, nothing interesting I just had to talk to someone. Don't worry about that where’s Lucifer?” 

“He's upstairs sulking that's all he does these days.” She’s annoyed she and lucifer are dealing with Chole’s bullshit very differently, she doesn't understand him. You head upstairs and there he is, sitting at the piano playing some melancholy tune you don't recognize. You pour a drink for the both of you and set his down on the piano. You sit with him listening as the song flows out from the piano. You lean your head on his shoulder when the song ends and slide his drink just a bit closer to him. 

“Drink, Luci?”

 “Thank you.”

“You look a mess.”

“Why thank you Y/N as charming as ever.”

“Seriously though I know things have been rough lately but playing sad piano in the dark and not changing your clothes for days will not help. I'm not saying you have to go party I’m not even saying you have to leave your room. I’m just saying maybe take a shower.” He's about to say something stupid to get you off his back. “Listen if you shower ill do everything else, get you ready for bed, comb your hair, I’ll even pick out your suit for tomorrow, ok just shower you smell.”

He doesn't even say anything, just gets up and heads towards the bedroom slowly stripping. 

In his closet, you go through his wardrobe and pick out a suit for him. But not just any suit, it was your favorite. Something about Lucifer in this was just top-notch. When you're done with that you get everything ready for bed 

You sit at the edge of his bed waiting. You scroll through Twitter, TikTok, and then Tumblr. You were pretty sure he was just standing under the water but that’s ok 

When he comes out he’s wearing just a pair of skin-tight black boxers. He collapses into bed beside you. You move so you’re sitting next to his head and run your fingers through his hair.

“I bet that feels better.”

“Thank you.” He says as he moves his head to rest on your lap. 

“Oh don't get all mushy on me, Luci.”

“No I’m serious, Thank you.” 

“Whatever.” You run your fingers through his hair and scratch his head till he goes to sleep. You usually only slept over at the penthouse when Lucifer thought you weren’t able to get home safely. But you didn’t feel like going home today, not when you had Lucifer on your lap snoring softly plus it was like two in the morning. So you shifted around getting comfortable and Lucifer just followed your body heat while grumbling. 

When you wake up again it’s to a phone call from your best friend and roommate. You immediately realize your mistake. You get out of bed as quickly as possible without waking Lucifer. You answer the phone on the other.

“Before you start I'm sorry I didn't mean to sleep over or to fall asleep without checking in.”

“Mhm hmm, you always say the same thing I figured you were with him so I texted maze and she confirmed. That's not why I called.”

“Oh ok, what's up then?”

“You tell me I thought you said you weren't going to sleep over there anymore because it made you feel like you two were closer than you are.”

“I know what I said It's just he was so sad and I couldn't leave him like that.”

“Y/n-”

“Don't! I know what you're going to say ‘it's not my job to take care of him, especially not when it comes at the cost of my peace. But I'm not at peace when he's sad, I just want so desperately for him to be happy.” There's a beat of silence as you think. “I could let him go if that's what it took but she treats him like shit. I know I probably just sound like some jealous idiot but he spends so much time worrying about if she'll turn her back on him and he deserves so much more than that.”

“I understand just remember to take care of yourself too. And text me when you're not coming home asshole.” You laugh for a moment thankful for the change in conversation. 

“Again I'm sorry and I will next time I promise. I'll see you later.” You say your goodbyes and hang up.

You take a couple of deep breaths before heading back upstairs to find Lucifer awake in bed.

“Where did you run off to?” He asks just as you step into the bedroom. 

“Just downstairs I had to take a call and I didn't want to wake you.” You sit at the end of the bed. “Anyway, what do you want to do today? We could be responsible adults and do something productive or we could get high out if our minds order food and watch Alice in Wonderland.” You start smirking before you even finish the sentence knowing exactly which option he's going to choose.

After the first blunt, you were starting to feel it and words started falling out of your mouth.

“You know that I care about you right? You, Maze, and Ash are all I have all I've ever had.” You don’t know why you asked him that because you didn't even let him answer you just started the movie you pulled up before. 

You honestly don't remember watching the movie. It felt like you blinked and then the credits were rolling. It didn't matter though you and Lucifer had split two blunts and you felt amazing. At some point, Maze showed up and she and Lucifer continued to smoke long after you had tapped out. The day was blissful for obvious reasons you even remembered to text your roommate before you passed out on the couch. 

~~~~

You guessed that something changed between Chole and Lucifer because he was back to going on cases with her. You hoped that she finally pulled her head out of her ass but you for some reason doubted that. You had gotten out of work early and just went back to your apartment to hang with your roommate. You guys had started a show together about a week ago and then you both got super busy. You had gotten through a couple of episodes when you got an SOS from Maze. Chole had fucked up big this time though you couldn’t imagine what could possibly be worse than the way she had already been acting. Nothing could have prepared you for what you found out.

He didn't even yell, he just explained what happened while sipping on his drink. You could tell he was a few drinks in and he looked a mess. You could see why though. Chole had been going behind his back working with a priest if you could even call him that. She had intended on banishing Lucifer back to hell. The betrayal was truly unbelievable. You didn’t know you had to comfort what could you say that could ease that kind of pain? You guessed you would just love him through it. Through all of it. 

Eventually, Lucifer gets bored of drinking and just goes to bed you didn’t want to leave so you just go sleep on the couch. The next morning you woke up and made Lucifer breakfast in bed you just wanted to remind him that he was deserving of love. He had barely spoken since he woke but just as he finishes eating he asks you a question. 

“Why did you stay?”

“What do you mean?”

“After you saw my face.”

“I don't know I guess I've spent my whole life alone and empty. When we met I felt that for the first time in my life I wasn't alone. So losing that over you being exactly who you said you were just felt stupid.”

“But what about me makes you feel that way? Why me?”

“I don’t know Luci, does it matter? All I know is that you make me feel warm and safe.”

“I make you feel safe?”

“I mean yeah are you surprised all you've done since we met is take care of me and encourage me to do the same for myself?”

He just stares at you sort of shellshocked which is so confusing to you because what did he think was happening here? Did he genuinely think that this entire time you were scared of him deep down? How could he think that? How could you be scared of this man you loved him with every fiber of your being. The thought brought you so much pain you just pulled him closer from where he was sitting on the bed. He was basically sitting in your lap now and you held him tight to your chest and he curled up to you.

You lean down and kiss the top of his head. You get that feeling that you sometimes get when you are with him. A strange sense of deja vu like you've done this before comforted him, held him close, kissed him. Sometimes you get these flashes almost like memories but they always disappear before you can fully understand what they are. You always just hold Lucifer a little tighter in those moments. 

At some point, Lucifer crawls out of your lap and puts on a random movie for the two of you to watch. Neither of you is really paying attention though. You feel his eyes on you for a while before you say anything. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He doesn’t say anything, he looks at you and makes eye contact before slowly leaning in. After a moment of thought, you lean in too. The kiss isn’t much just a soft press of lips but the feeling that runs through you forcing a gasp from your lips.

Memories flood into your mind so quickly that you can’t even decipher them. Tears start to flow from your eyes. Lucifer is stunned and confused but then shock falls over his face and calls your name. 

“You… you have wings.” You just stare at him as you try to sort through the memories. It seems that Lucifer’s memory begins to come back as well. 

He reaches out to cup you’re face and runs his thumb over your cheek. His old name falls off your lips “Samael.” The name makes him uncomfortable and he expresses that much to you asking you to just call him Lucifer. You lean in again and kiss his cheek and whisper “Of course, my love.” This immediately brings back the tenderness of the moment. 

The memories of before wrap around you like a warm well-loved blanket. All you want is to be as close to him as possible. All the centuries spent apart so cold and alone you just needed to keep him close. You pull him into another kiss and your wings wrap around him pulling him as close as possible. He chuckled “Missed me did you?” He said it as a joke but you knew he wanted a real answer. 

“Every day Lucifer. Every day even when I couldn’t remember.”

[dragondemoness]

Mondo Owada, Mukuro Ikusaba, and Mikan Tsumiki with an ultimate therapist S/O

Lets be honest, they all need one

Yeah. Honestly, every Danganronpa character needs one

Mondo, Mukuro and Mikan with an Ultimate Therapist Reader

Mondo Owada 

He didn't really care at first

You were just another Ultimate, after all

But being the Ultimate Therapist means having excellent intuition

You could tell that he had a troubled past

You approached him, asking him about his anger

And he, of course, responded with anger

"What the fuck does it matter to you, dumbass?!"

"Hm, I see. This anger comes from a place of pain, doesn't it?"

This struck him silent

And next thing he knew, he was laying down on a couch in your lab, confessing all his pain and sorrows

Something about you just made him feel safe

You comforted him and let him know that his past mistakes don't define him as a person

He fondly smiled at you and thanked you

Then he started blushing madly

"Hey, would you... wanna go on a date sometime?"

You smiled at him

"I'd like that, Mondo."

Mukuro Ikusaba 

She was curious about you from the beginning

She wanted to know if your talent was truly effective

So she watched as you helped your fellow Ultimates, and you seemed to be pretty good at it

And so, she approached you

"So... You're the Ultimate Therapist, correct?"

"That would be me. Anything I can help you with?"

"I just want to... talk to you."

And so, you took a walk together

She asked you questions about your talent

How did you become the Ultimate Therapist? How did you do it so well?

You just shrugged your shoulders

"I started out as just a really good listener, then people started coming to me with their problems. This started evolving, and I found a career for it. As for the second question, I just get to know people. Listen to what they have to say, what caused their problems, and just help them in the best way I can."

Mukuro was in awe

You were a genuinely kind person who wanted to help people

Maybe you can help her too

But first, she wants to get to know you

She doesn't want to spill her secrets to a complete stranger, after all

And further on down the line, she feels more comfortable with you

Comfortable enough to open up

You listen intently, never once turning away your attention

You notice her growing more uncomfortable and more upset as she continues

"Hey, Mukuro, it's okay. You don't have to keep going."

"I-I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. It's a therapist's job to listen, not press for information."

You hold out your hands and she holds them

Then she starts blushing

"U-Um... (Name)... I-I've been... having feelings for you for a while.. A-And... I'm wondering if... You would be interested in... going on a date with me..."

You smile and give her hands a squeeze

"I would love that."

Mikan Tsumiki

You were the one who approached her

You were incredibly concerned about her

She's kind of worried at first

"I-I'm sorry! D-Did I do something to b-bother you? I'm s-sorry! How c-can I repay you?"

See, this is why you're concerned

"Um... Ms. Tsumiki, that's really not necessary. I just want to talk to you."

"M-Ms. Tsumiki...?"

You brought her to her office, and asked her in the most no-pressure way possible

"So, Ms. Tsumiki, I am highly concerned. I've seen how... fragile you can be, and how you let others treat you. You don't have to tell me exactly what caused this behavior, but I at least want you to have a safe space when you need it."

She pauses for a moment, feeling mildly afraid

Then she breathes in and confesses that she had been bullied and abused in the past, which led to her meek personality

She didn't give any details, just gave you a short and simple response

You nodded, and asked if she would like a hug

She kinda malfunctioned for a short moment, but accepted it nonetheless

She actually really liked it

After that, you started to walk with her more, shooting down anyone who gave her shit

And she quickly ended up developing feelings

But one day, she had tripped and fallen into a... compromising position, which caused Hiyoko to be the absolute worst

 You quickly brought her to your office and soothed her

You hadn't seen the full extent of her bullying at school, and you wish it stayed that way

Seeing as there was no point in keeping it from you, she confessed the certain things her past bullies and abusers did

It was nothing short of disgusting

Then she started to freak out

"I-I'm s-so sorry! You m-must think I-I'm a f-freak after s-seeing that!"

"No, Mikan, I could never think that! I love you way too much to ever see you that way!"

Mikan jumped in surprise and pulled away from you to look you in the eyes

You quickly realized what you said and got embarrassed

"I-I am so sorry! I-I didn't mean to say that!"

She took your hands in hers and smiled at you

"I love you too, (Name)."

She snuggled into you once again, and you stayed like that for a while, before going out on a date later

[all-pacas]

so, while i absolutely think you're onto something with the crazy catholic guilt of it all, i also disagree on a few points. or rather, i came away with a fairly different take.

-

what we see from chase, first and foremost, is his desire to control the narrative. it is self serving, of course, but his need/desire for privacy isn't exactly new — he is allergic to opening up about his feelings, something we've seen before and will absolutely see again. chase is also, as ever, a survivor.

back in cursed, chase explains his life philosophy to house, when house is about to tell him about rowan: that caring leads to disappointment, and so it is better to simply not. this is reflected in his need for privacy and somewhat standoffish nature -- chase is excellent at making a good impression, but it's not for nothing stacy and foreman discuss how two-faced and superficial this is -- but we also know that chase is a very, very bad liar. that he does, despite himself, care and care deeply. and of course he feels so much guilt.

his first version of the story, where he made a minor mistake and everything has been blown out of proportion, as shown by chase's version of the phone call where he is chipper and polite the whole way though, is of course a lie. but it's interesting that even here, in chase's preferred version of the story, he tells it badly: he digresses and tells stacy how he and kayla bonded over alcoholic mothers; he brings up his father on his own. the second version of chase's phone call, he's upset and near tears, although stacy doesn't ask why — presumably chase omits this detail. but even in his polished, preferred version of the truth… chase cares.

it's so interesting to me that kayla did not ultimately die of an ulcer. she died of cancer, inadvertently given to her by her brother, someone who loved her and wanted to protect her. in reality, sam bears as much blame for kayla's death as chase does — he knew he was sick, he faked test results, he insisted on giving his sister a bad liver — but that is not how chase or the episode frames it: he bears responsibility. because of him, someone is dying of cancer. he couldn't save his father, and so he throws all his desperation to kayla (with her happy, loving family — she is a good mother, she is a good sister, two more things chase lacks) and tries to fix her, prevent her from dying from what killed his father. he hides this. he does not tell kayla his father died until months later; he does not tell stacy at all.

chase is absolutely driven by guilt, and desperately seeking a way to punish himself. the episode takes pains to show again and again that kayla liked him, sam liked him, neither blamed him at all — and so chase engineers that blame. he lies to sam. tellingly, he lies by saying i didn't care; it is his very apathy (his biggest flaw, his life philosophy) that he uses as to destroy himself. i didn't give a crap about your sister.

chase, after all, would rather not care than be hurt. but no matter how apathetic and selfish he tries to be, he is a very bad liar.

-

what i find interesting about house and chase's conversation, here and in cursed, is that house gives chase something he's probably never had: agency. we've known from episode five that chase did not want to become a doctor ("the last thing you wanted," in house's words), that he is obedient, that he does what he is told. we know his father got him this job, on top of this career; we know that chase was forced to take care of his mother and sister, that he was always the one abandoned and left behind and at the whims of the adults in his life.

i've gone on a bit about the timelines before now, but i'll go on about it again. per stacy, chase met kayla — and made his mistake — right around when kids was airing, which adds so much to the house of it all. chase is still being punished for vogler, still on house's shit list, was almost fired for making a mistake on an angiogram a month before. he does something much worse with kayla, at a moment when house already does not like him — and house more or less lets it stand. house spends months doing or saying nothing about it, even as kayla is dying, and then offers him something much more valuable than absolution — he offers chase the choice on how to go forward, and the agency to make that decision for himself. it's no wonder that s2 is when all the jokes about chase being a lapdog, being an asskisser, begin; it is no wonder that chase's loyalty to house is never in doubt going forward.

in cursed, by allowing chase to refuse to learn about rowan, house respects his choice. and in the mistake, house does the same: once he tells chase that he knows about rowan, house reminds him that what comes next is up to him. if chase wants to take the blame and ruin his career, so be it; house implicitly promises to back him up, no matter what version of the story (self serving and self protective, honest and vulnerable, or the truth in between) chase tells. interestingly, neither we or house know what chase picks, nor do we ever find out. but house trusted chase to choose, and let him do what he felt was right.

house md rewatch: 2x08, "the mistake"

catholic chase isn't just a character feature anymore - it's its own major subplot.

2x08 is so solid all around. the format is unique, in the vein of "three stories," and it says even more about chase and house's relationship than we've seen so far, in my opinion. their respective portrayals of one another show the complexities, toxicity, and underlying love (yes, i think that's here) between them. i'm going to forgo a lot of plot-specific comments because i REALLY want to capitalize on a certain analogy that i think is the most compelling bit of the episode (grad school close-reading brain Activated).

first and foremost, chase is being catholic again. how saint jude, patron saint of lost causes of him. i'll be showing my hand as someone who was raised Catholic Lite (my family has never been super religious); i know a lot of the sacramental lingo, too, because i just got through teaching at a catholic university!

catholics have a sacrament called "reconciliation," or a kid's first confessional to a priest - i did mine when i was 8. returning to confession is typical practice in the religion because there are always things for which to ask forgiveness. it's a very private affair (whatever is said is supposed to be utterly confidential) and supposed to be organic, but stacy's practice reconciliation with chase is anything but.

much like a kid (maybe a catholic kid, around age 8?) would rehearse lies to their parents, stacy coaches chase in preparation for his disciplinary hearing. he's repeatedly reprimanded for adding sincerity and self-flagellation where it would weaken his case, and in the same breath chastised for being a shitty liar. the whole "first reconciliation" affair is highly ritualistic; you have to memorize the act of contrition, introduce yourself to the priest in a very precise way, and it's very intimdating as a kid.

even visually, this shot is organized like a confessional booth - which are intimidating in their own right. the doors divide priest (stacy) and sinner (chase) from one another, with the subtle space in between the go-between through which chase confesses. there's even a lectern-equivalent over chase's shoulder.

also interesting to note (not just in this analogy) is that stacy isn't wearing the crucifix that mark gave her.

as the tale that chase spins for stacy unravels, we see that chase became increasingly desperate and self-serving (in character of him from the vogler arc). at the near climax, he reveals to cameron and foreman that he plans on assisting the patient, kayla, and her brother, sam, in securing her a black market liver. this is, clearly, insane, despite chase's insistence that house would do something similar. foreman reiterates the underlying problem chase is experiencing: "this isn't gonna be your salvation."

this is becoming increasingly apparent to chase, especially as, in real time, the number of people ushering him along this sacramental journey is expanding - stacy, cuddy, and house are all involved in the interrogation now. he can't find a pragmatic way out of this predicament, just like he can't keep dancing around his fundamental (catholic) guilt over his error eventually killing kayla.

the next version of events he tells is the martyr's version. in chase's last-ditch fiction, he describes how he marched into kayla's hospital room to stop her from pursuing the black market organ, even as sam protests against it. he undoes an earlier mote of selfishness - telling a superfluous story about his tonsils to comfort patient hospital anxiety - by sharing about his deceased father (a new revelation to the audience!). it's this faux honesty, this nobility, that chase wants as his final testimony. noble, guilty, sacrificing, all in one.

yet the final version, the one nearest the truth, concealing everything but chase's reason for lying, is the most pitiful one yet: after kayla has died, chase confesses his error to same, who lashes out. chase bears the brunt of guilt; he feels he's been adequately punished...

so why does he keep looking at house at every turn?

chase wants to fall on his noble sword and get things over with - he says as much to stacy when he has the option of pushing the hearing date up. however, at every junction, he's downplayed the role house had in diagnosing and treating the patient. he's also afraid of house hearing all this self-sacrificing farce because he knows that he won't buy it. in this moment, stacy has lost her position as allegorical priest; house now embodies the role, sans the privacy of the confessional booth and the screen.

and, like clockwork, house clocks chase's real goal here: absolution. he wants to get through this pseudo-catholic-sacrament as intact as possible without showing any real vulnerability. when house takes chase aside, he says that, "you want him [sam] to sue you." oh, the catholic suffering of it all.

house does away with the ceremony and ritual of the confession. he confesses (!!!) to chase that he figured his father had passed away, and that rowan asked him to keep it to himself. this obviously pains chase, but, since it's house, and since no one can convince me that house isn't mean to be chase's Not Dad, he looks to him instead for a way forward. he's confessed; what should he do now?

nope - house only outlines his 2 options (tell the whole truth, or keep lying) and pledges that he won't say anything. the decision is entirely up to chase. this is a pretty non-deific (or not CATHOLIC, i should say) moment for house, refusing to intervene when a situation sorta calls for it. he's neither benevolent nor malicious, and we've seen him be both. maybe that's why he pays for his lack of a decision when the diagnostics department enters The Foreman Era.

so, in conclusion, this episode was an exercise in chase's catholicism, namely the sacrament called reconciliation/confession, that house subverts by not being the deific, unmerciful god who chase has come to expect in his life.

meanwhile, in wilson land:

hands not quite folded in prayer, divided by the walls of a non-confessional? discussing illicit sexual affairs? drawing admissions from house about his illicit affair? their dumb little game being vaguely penetrative? house's ball(s) being in wilson's metaphorical court? who's to say. i'm just a grad student.