#WORRYING ABOUT MY BEST FRIENDS (MOST OF THEM ARE MORE DEPRESSED THAN ME AT THIS POINT)

[etherylelixyr]

Fucccckkkkk (the feels man)

[pedrointofolklore]

This is me trying

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel hated you. he hated the risks you took, the danger you put yourself in, the total lack of value you had for your own life. he hated how much he worried about you. click here for part two.

warnings: detailed depictions of depression, heavily implied suicidal ideation, slight violence, angst with a sprinkle of fluff, no explicit smut but it does get very suggestive (minors do not interact), minor character death, enemies to lovers, poor communication, misunderstandings, these fools don’t know how to act, joel is an asshole but then he’s sweet, brief mention of drug use, lots of swearing, age gap (unspecified), no use of y/n, boston era/ellie era.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: hey y’all. i just wanted to thank everyone who supported my last story rosebud (here’s a link if you want to read it). this story is a lot different and a lot sadder. i got the title from my favourite pop girlie taylor alison swift.

Joel hated you. It had to be his worst kept secret.

You hadn’t done anything to him. You used to think about it constantly, desperate to know what his reason was for despising you like he did, but you eventually accepted that he didn’t need a reason. He just didn’t like you. 

Joel wasn’t particularly likeable himself. He was rude and intimidating and one of the most morally bankrupt people you’d ever met, but you didn’t hate him the way he hated you. You were Tess’s lackey—Joel tolerated you, and you supposed he wasn’t obligated to do any more than that. Although, he didn’t do it very well.

You’d existed in each other’s orbit in the QZ for a while, and finally met one night in the boarded-up old mall when you’d gotten to a stash of painkillers just before them. Joel wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot you between the eyes if Tess hadn’t been there.

Tess saw something in you—not a friend, not a life worth sparing by virtue of humanity; a business investment.

And it was a smart investment. You were young, agile and clever, incredible at slipping by unnoticed and gathering information. You knew all the best routes, the best times to take them, and you could swindle anyone out of their rations just by batting your eyelashes. You were willing to take the lead, to be the first one in and out to make sure the coast was clear.

It wasn’t the threat of death or the promise of mercy that made you join them—it was the sense of purpose it gave you.

Joel was adamantly against it. Things worked fine the way they did them, and he saw no reason to add another person into it.

“Don’t need to fix something that ain’t broken,” was how he’d put it.

You didn’t dispute that. Joel and Tess had survived for years, and they were clearly more than capable of getting the job done, but what you lacked in experience, you made up for in stealth and speed—something their aging knees struggled with.

Tess convinced Joel, which you soon found out she was very good at. You also found out that his compliance didn’t mean hiding his resentment.

He thought you were a careless, impulsive loose cannon, and he’d told you so after a particularly dicey deal with a particularly dicey FEDRA agent.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed one of these days.” He followed you into your apartment uninvited. Tess made him walk you home, and you were sure he only did it because he wanted to berate you.

“Why do you care?” you asked, tossing your keys onto the counter. They slid off and hit the floor.

“You’re with us,” Joel replied. “You'll get us killed.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes—you knew that infuriated him. “Am I on crack or have you not doubled your profits since I showed up?”

“I think you’re dangerous,” Joel said, ignoring you. “Always sneakin’ around, goin’ places you shouldn’t, playin’ mind games with FEDRA. Your luck’s gonna run out sooner or later, and I just hope I’m not around when it does.”

Your face burned with red-hot anger as you tried to fight the stinging in your eyes and the blurring of your vision, but you were too far gone. The tears fell, and they were ceaseless. You felt pathetic, but you knew this would happen. You didn’t often cry from sadness or pain, but anger always managed to bring it out in you.

“Who the fuck are you to tell me that?” you hissed. “You’re saying you don’t sneak around? You’ve never scammed anyone? You’re a smuggler, Joel! Be fucking real with me.”

“It’s different,” he said, clenching his jaw.

“Why, because you’re older? Because you have more experience?”

“‘Cause I don’t think I’m fuckin’ special.”

If his words were the dagger, the pure contempt in his tone was what plunged it into your stomach, twisted it, and left a gaping hole for all of your despair to come pouring out of, leaving behind a puddle of melancholia for him to gaze at in all its miserable glory.

It was the only time you might have hated Joel as much as he hated you. Working with him and Tess wasn’t perfect, but it was all you had, and now he’d managed to make it all meaningless. Your help wasn’t helping.

“Fuck you, Joel,” you spat.

You should have quit then, and you thought about it. After pounding your fists into Joel’s chest and screaming at him to get the fuck out of your apartment, you sunk down onto the floor and cried. You cried until you ran out of tears and were left with a nothing but a throbbing headache. You took a pill, passed out, and woke up to you discover that you’d lost the energy to really care about any of it.

You didn’t quit. If anything, you became even more audacious, but you never confused it with courage or bravery. Bravery was perseverance in the face of terror. Joel and Tess were brave. You weren’t like them.

Joel laid off after that. He wasn’t anything close to nice, but whatever animosity he held towards you was only ever expressed as quiet seething, and you could live with that.

Any fulfilment you got out of working with Joel and Tess dissolved, but for what it was, it still worked.

Until it didn’t.

Tess was dead. The buffer between you and Joel was gone, and you had no choice but to work together and get the immune girl to Colorado.

You wondered if there was a silver-lining in this wreckage. You thought that circumstance might force Joel to finally get along with you, and so you did the one thing you never did—you tried. You tried to help him, tried to speak to him like he was someone you actually wanted to speak to, tried to rein in some of your more annoying traits so you wouldn’t get on his nerves.

None of it worked. All you could get out of Joel seemed to be irritated mumbles and blank stares, and you couldn’t even blame him after what happened to Tess.

You never really knew if Tess actually gave a shit about you, or if she only ever cared about having an extra pair of hands around. Either way, you cared about her.

So, once again, you tried. When Joel and Ellie were sleeping—or at least pretending to—you walked down to the stream and tried to cry for her, but you couldn’t muster the tears. You even tried to get angry, mentally cuss her out for leaving you behind, but your eyes were dry.

You stared into the water, gazing at the way it sparkled in the starlight, and thought that the world didn’t deserve such a pretty sight. You couldn’t cry, but a deep sadness overtook you, weighing you down like lead.

Joel didn’t hate you.

He just hated how impulsive and reckless you were. He hated that you were smart, intuitive, and so maddeningly beautiful. He hated the risks you took, the danger you put yourself in, the total lack of value you had for your own life. He hated how much he worried about you.

There was a time he had disliked you. He used to think it was arrogance—that you truly believed you were so special that you could get away with anything. It was when he called you out on it that he realised how wrong he was.

Your reaction was frightening. You cried and screamed at him, pushed him out of your space. He didn’t know you were capable of such a strong display of emotion, but he’d struck a nerve, and those were the repercussions.

He recalled how the blows to his chest didn’t hurt, like there was no force behind them. You weren’t weak at all, you just couldn’t find the willpower to really hurt him. He wished you had hurt him. Maybe getting it out of your system would have helped. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to feel so guilty.

It became so obvious to him what was happening, and he felt like an idiot for not understanding it sooner. It wasn’t that you thought you were special, or immune to the consequences—you just didn’t care what happened to you.

Now Tess was gone, and he had this horrible feeling that he was going to lose you too.

His way of dealing with it was to push you away even more. He told himself it would make things easier when you inevitably left him.

Things came to a head one night after the three of you left Lincoln. Joel had been driving all day, and he would be doing it again the next day. He was in desperate need of sleep, but as he stared out into the eerie darkness of the woods, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible would happen if he didn’t stay awake.

He heard the rustling of a sleeping bag sometime after midnight. He thought it was you just rolling over in your sleep—something you often did—but then he heard the faint sound of dead leaves crunching under feet, and you were by his side a moment later.

“What are you doing, Joel?” you asked in a soft, sleepy voice that made his chest ache.

“Keepin’ watch,” he replied bluntly.

“But you’re driving tomorrow,” you said. “You need sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ve slept, so I can take over,” you offered.

“I just told you I’m fine.”

“I’m just trying to help—”

“I don’t need your fucking help.”

You backed off, hanging your head in shame, and he instantly felt horrible—you were being nice to him and he was still being a complete asshole.

Joel tried to tear his gaze away from you. He wanted to pretend this wasn’t happening, that he hadn’t just done that, but his eyes stayed on you. He watched the shame dissolve and replace itself with indignation. You pulled your head up and glared at him with a fire in your eyes that threatened to burn right through him.

“I get it, okay? I’m sorry.”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“I never meant for you to get stuck with me. I know it’s your worst fucking nightmare. If I could switch places with Tess—“

“Stop.” He wouldn’t hear that. He couldn’t. It would kill him. “That’s not—I’m not thinkin’ that. I’m glad you’re here, understand? I need you with me.”

You let out a bitter laugh. The sound hit his ears like a gunshot. “You just told me you didn’t. All you’ve done—all you’ve ever done—is act like I’m a fucking waste of space.”

Joel’s mouth when dry, his heart dropped to his stomach, and he thought he might vomit. It shouldn’t have shocked him like it did, but hearing you say it made him sick. He put the gun he’d been clutching down on the ground, disarming himself in more ways than one. “I don’t think that…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just—fuck—I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Are you gonna leave?”

“Leave this mission or this mortal coil?"

“Either, I guess.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Your voice was just a whisper, and it felt like you were ripping Joel’s heart out and crushing it in your hands.

Fuck no, he didn’t want you to leave, and that was what scared him the most; feeling attached to someone so detached (and yes, he was a hypocrite). He wouldn’t be able to take it if he woke up one day and you were gone.

But he couldn’t keep doing this to you. It was selfish and cowardly and it just made everything worse. He made everything worse.

“I can’t do this without you,” he told you. He hadn’t known how true it was until he said it.

“Okay.”

“I’m serious.” He felt suddenly impassioned. “You can’t…if you…just don’t. Promise me you won’t.” He couldn’t say it, couldn’t let the words out of his mouth and into the universe. You both knew what he meant.

“I promise,” you said. You sounded oddly tranquil, but Joel was destroyed, even though he knew he didn’t have the right to be—this was entirely his fault.

“Can you let me keep watch so you can get some sleep?” you asked again.

He shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Just need to know where you are.”

You stared at him, eyes wide and glossy, and for a second he thought you might start crying. Before he could think of something to do or say, your hands were on either side of his face, pulling him down into an urgent kiss.

He didn’t know what was happening, what you were thinking, or what he was thinking, but it didn’t matter, he just knew he needed to kiss you back. One of his hands found your waist while the other splayed out across your back, pulling you flush against him.

It was nowhere near sweet. It was intense and unyielding—a frantic clashing of teeth and bruising of lips. It was intoxicating, earth-shattering, but felt so right, like it was always meant to happen—or needed to happen.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, somehow bringing him impossibly closer to you. You hiked a leg up around his hip and tugged his pelvis forward. He ran a hand down from your waist, brushing it over your ass and gripping your thigh.

You rolled your hips into his, eliciting a deep, involuntary groan from him. He was painfully hard. He knew he would regret this, but he set your leg down and managed to tear his mouth away from yours. 

He missed the feeling immediately, and he didn’t have the self-control to pull away completely. His hands were still on you, pressing you against him. You looked so pretty and ruined gazing back at him; breathless and flustered with pink, swollen lips.

Fuck.

You had just kissed Joel Miller, the man you hated. 

You didn’t hate him.

You kissed the man who hated you.

He didn’t hate you.

You kissed the only person you had left. You kissed him even though it made no sense. You kissed him because you wanted to.

You started it, but then he stopped it. His eyes were dark, his face was flushed, and the bulge in his jeans was not going away. He looked like he was in pain, struggling with his own conscience.

“Sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.” He grinned softly and reached a hand up to tangle in your hair. It was an unexpectedly sweet gesture. “I liked it.”

Your heart melted. He was so lovely, so dear. You never imagined in your wildest dreams that Joel Miller could be like this.

“Just don’t wanna take advantage,” he said.

“You’re not. I kissed you,” you reminded him.

“I know, but you're upset, and you don’t like me much, and you’re tired. Don’t want you doing anything you don’t actually wanna do.”

You did want it, but you were also overwhelmed and exhausted, and more importantly, it would have been a majorly fucked up thing to do with a 14 year old sleeping 20 feet away.

“But if you still want it later”—he gave you another chaste kiss—“you can have it.”

You giggled, kissing him one more time. You didn’t know when you'd be able to again.

His gentle smile faded, and he looked into your eyes with devastating sincerity. “I got you now, okay?”

“I know, Joel.”

“Do you have me?” he asked.

“I’m trying.” You hoped that would be enough, because it was all you had.

“That’s all I need, sweetheart.”

a/n: so i wrote most of this when i was sick with the flu and i fully intended for it to be a one-shot, but i love this dynamic and i’m thinking of exploring it further. let me know if y’all would be interested in seeing more of these two. (edit: this a/n is now redundant bc i did in fact write the sequel).

[sansaorgana]

Oh my God!!

"You talked in your sleep... do you really love me?"

With Buck Cleven X reader, please?? Maybe reader is his best friend and sometimes talks in her sleep? So, best friends to lovers?? Please you'd cure my depression 😭😍

Love you & thank you 💕

hiii I'm so sorry you had to wait so long 😭 does anyone even still remember me omg 😫 thank you for your request! I didn't use this exact quote but the situation is the same and The Reader is a nurse here 😷

my requests are currently closed 🙅🏻‍♀️

Working as a nurse and befriending some of these boys, you mostly dreaded the day when one of them would come to you in a state that was doomed. To stare at your dying friend in pain, knowing you can’t do anything about it… That was keeping you awake at night. It was already difficult enough already to witness the boys you didn’t know at all die like this and not be able to help. But a vision of one of your friends in this situation was impossible to handle at times.

The one you worried about the most was Major Gale Cleven, the one everyone kept calling Buck. But you were the only person who still was calling him Gale. He was your friend from the moment he showed up. Handsome, charming but in a quiet way, kind-hearted and very responsible. You admired the way he was with his boys; like an older brother they could look up to. And not long time had passed until you realised you were actually in love with him.

Of course you would never admit that. But it made you smile when the boys admitted you were their favourite nurse, when they were treating you like the female equivalent of Gale Cleven at the base. Almost as if you were playing house with him with a bunch of pilots who were like your sons.

But loving a pilot was a dangerous business for the heart. Not that love could have been prevented. You had no control over that. But at least it was unrequited – in other circumstances you would cry your heart out into your pillow at night for loving someone who didn’t reciprocate his feelings. But this time it was for the better.

Yet, when you found him in the med bay after one of the missions, your heart skipped a beat. Your friend was talking to him softly, his face was in blood. You approached them immediately, ignoring other patients waiting for your care and attention.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” You asked, trying to hide how nervous you were.

“His plane got hit,” your friend explained. “He managed to come back and land safely with a concussion, can you imagine?” The admiration in her voice made you feel jealous and you hated this side of you. She had every right to admire him for this sort of achievement. “I have to clean the wounds on his face. Poor lad, they’re gonna leave scars.”

“I’ll do it,” you dismissed her and moved past her, nearly pushing her away. She was surprised at your reaction but she didn’t have time to think about it or comment because other patients needed her.

So, she left you alone with Gale. His beautiful eyes were hazy from the concussion and probably a state of shock his body was in. He wouldn’t be able to fly a plane with a concussion if not for the adrenaline in his blood system.

“Hi,” you greeted him softly when you started to clean the wounds on his face gently. They were not very deep but they caused lots of bleeding and your friend was right; some of them would leave scars. Not that you minded, you only hoped he wouldn’t grow insecure because of them. “You’ve gained some scars, brave fly boy,” you chuckled nervously but he only looked at you like he didn’t recognise you. “It’s okay. You’ll sleep it off,” you caressed his hair gently. 

He was confused and in pain but yet, you hated yourself for kind of liking this version of Gale Cleven. Not only was he even more adorable than usual but also you could allow yourself the gestures you would never do if he was acting like himself.

When his face was clean and you washed some of his hair, too – the parts that got stuck together with blood, you laid him down gently and smiled softly at his handsome face. He reached his hand out as if he wanted you to hold it. An unusual thing to do, which made your heart flutter in your chest, but you tried to remember that he was not acting sane at the moment. Still, you gently took his hand and sat on the edge of the bed. You decided to be with him until he’d wake up. Even if it would be the whole rest of the day and a night.

“Other boys need you,” the doctor approached you with a furrowed brow.

“He needs me the most,” you looked up.

“Cleven had a slight concussion, he will be absolutely fine,” the doctor insisted.

You knew that he was right and you didn’t want to act suspicious, so you sighed and squeezed Gale’s hand before leaving his side to go back to work. However, you worked as fast as you could, not even talking to the boys you were taking care of, just focusing purely on your job. And when you were finished, you went back to Gale’s bed and sat on the edge to watch over him. He looked so peaceful when he slept.

His wounds still kept bleeding a little here and there so you continued to clean them once in a while. And in his sleep, he sometimes moved, so you were putting your hand on his forehead, trying to calm him down and make sure he didn’t have a fever. Bucky checked on him in the meantime.

“Thanks for taking care of him,” he winked at you and you could feel your cheeks heating up. Did he know…? Were you that obvious?

“It’s nothing. He always takes care of all of you boys. I can see that and they always tell me that. Even today, the guys from his fort were asking me to take extra care of Major Cleven,” I answered with all honesty.

“Yeah, they look up to him. What he did today was… incredible,” Bucky nodded. “When they landed, he didn’t even recognise me but a few minutes earlier he had been flying the goddamn plane in this state.”

“It was shock and adrenaline,” you explained. “He could have forgotten us but not how to survive and fly,” you added with a smile. “Or he’s a natural. Maybe he was born and already knew how to fly.”

“Believe me, he didn’t,” Bucky chuckled and shook his head. “I remember our early days… He didn’t.”

“Okay,” you giggled and squeezed Gale’s hand tighter. You imagined what he had to be like in the early days of his training. He had to be adorable; a bit scared but also full of hope and optimism, that boyish excitement. “Thanks for checking up on him. When he wakes up, I’ll tell him you came.”

“If he recognises us,” Bucky made a joke and walked out of the med bay but it left you anxious now. He was right. The doctor had said it was a slight concussion but… What if Gale would wake up and not recognise any of you?

Lost in thoughts, you didn’t realise he was having a dream again. You only reacted when he started to mumble some incoherent things.

“Shh, Gale, shh, it’s fine,” you whispered softly when you leaned in to see his face better and put both of your hands on his wounded cheeks, delicately, avoiding to cause him any further pain.

“...Her…” He mumbled, his words suddenly making sense. You furrowed your brow. “I love her.”

You swallowed thickly at those words. It was only a dream, right? It didn’t mean anything. He couldn’t be in love with someone else…? 

You shook it off. What were you even thinking of? What did it matter? You were not together and you would never be.

But then, Gale mumbled your name. Yours, not anyone else’s. You had to blink a few times and catch your breath all over again. And when you thought it had all been a mistake, he mumbled it out again and and again and then…

“I love her,” he repeated.

However, he seemed to be in a great torment because of whatever the dream was about. So, with a heavy heart, you shook his shoulders a little, forcing him to come back to reality.

“Hi,” you greeted him softly as his eyes widened. “Welcome back, soldier. Do you know where you are?”

“Wh-what happened?” He sat up rapidly, his hands immediately going to his face as if he wanted to check if everything was in its place.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” You asked, adjusting yourself on the edge of his bed to be closer to him.

“We got hit… Oh my God… We got hit!” He panicked but you shushed him. Other boys were asleep and you didn’t want them to wake up or be alarmed by his attack.

“It’s fine, hey, Gale, it’s okay. Everyone from your fort is fine and you know why…?” You asked with a gentle smile. He shook his head. “Because you safely took them home and landed that goddamn plane even though you had concussion and didn’t know your own name,” you tried to sound casual but the pride in your voice was more than obvious.

“I… I did that?” He asked. “No way.”

“Yeah, you did,” you laughed. “And I cleaned your face, it was all bloody. You’re gonna have some scars,” you explained. “Want a mirror?”

“I don’t think so,” Gale winced as his fingertips traced the wounds. He hissed out of pain so you grabbed his wrists and took the hands away from his face.

“Don’t. They’re still fresh. But not so bad, I’ve seen worse,” you tried to cheer him up. “In fact, I think, you’re gonna look amazing,” you winked and he sighed. “You remember me, right?”

“What? What are you talking about? Of course I do,” he furrowed his brows as his eyes looked worried.

“Yeah, but after you landed, you didn’t. You didn’t even know who Bucky was. He was here, you know. Checking on you. And all the boys from your fort were so worried about you. You’re a real leader,” you squeezed his hands but he didn’t say anything to these things. Praises were making him blush and he did now as well, looking away.

“Well, thanks for taking care of me,” he finally looked at you again.

“No problem. You wanted me to stay, reaching your hands out like a little boy,” you chuckled nervously. Perhaps it was a bad idea to bring this up.

“Yeah, well, I had to feel lonely when I couldn’t recognise anyone. Even when I can, I often feel lonely,” he admitted with a shrug of his arms. “We’re so far away from home, from our families. The boys are like family, too, but every day can be their last. And men… Well, we don’t really…” He tried to look for words.

“Hold each other’s hands?” You asked and he nodded. You squeezed his hands again. “You talked in your sleep,” you brought that up, encouraged by his last confession.

“Oh dear God…” Gale rolled his eyes, visibly embarrassed. “What about?”

“You were talking about some girl that you love,” you teased him, grinning and winking playfully, pretending to be a teasing friend and hiding the nervousness. “She happens to have the same name as me or something.”

You expected him to be defensive or laugh at you. You would push his shoulder gently and tell him that you had been joking. But he didn’t react like that at all. In fact, he took his hands away as if your touch burnt him and he cleared his throat nervously.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Can we… Can we pretend you’ve never heard that?”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You kept staring at him in disbelief and bit on your lower lip.

“How?” You asked, feeling a sudden outburst of bravery in you. If Gale could have flown a plane with a concussion, you could say what you wanted to say. “How am I supposed to pretend I have never heard that? When that’s… That’s all I ever wanted to hear.”

Gale looked up at you as if he had to check with his own eyes if you weren’t joking. But you were dead serious.

“So don’t pretend,” he finally spoke up and reached out for your hand again. His fingers were cold and shaky. You intertwined them with yours. “But I didn’t want to do anything until… Well, I planned to ask you to dance with me at the party after my 25th mission. But I never wanted to let you know before that because if I died…”

“If you died, I would never know,” you looked up to meet his gaze with tears pricking your eyes. “And you think that’s fair? You think it would make it easier for me? It would not.”

“I’m sorry,” Gale swallowed thickly. “Are you angry with me?”

“For that? No. For nearly dying today? Yes,” you nodded and wiped your tears away with your free hand.

“Let’s make a deal,” he proposed, looking at you with pain in his eyes. He hated to see you so sad and crying… Especially when it was caused by him. “Let’s not… Let’s not do anything about it until I’ve done my missions, alright?”

“Alright,” you nodded through the tears. “But… What if you don’t finish them…?”

“Well, then, we’re both gonna die without ever kissing each other,” he lowered his voice even though all the other nurses were out of the med bay and other patients were asleep. “But… That doesn’t sound right to me.”

“That doesn’t sound right to me either,” you admitted.

“Then come here,” he encouraged you to get closer. “Just one kiss.”

“A promise of many more, I hope. Not the last one,” you said in a shaky voice but he only nodded his head because that was a promise he couldn’t make.

If it depended on him, he would. He would swear on everything. But it depended on things much bigger than you or him. On things he couldn’t control nor prevent.

He cupped your face delicately, as if it were you with the wounds on your cheeks, and he joined your lips in a sweet kiss, even though it tasted salty from all your tears.

“Just don’t die,” you breathed out when the kiss ended. “Just don’t die and the rest I can fix and endure.”

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[bu-blegh-ost]

A short essay about how Caspian is mathematically not a mole (ep. 115 spoilers) (and for the whole series for that matter)

Okay, alright guys, I saw your concerns. I saw it all, and you are right to be worried that your favourite blue wet man's blue and equally wet best friend may turn out to be a traitor. And so am I, trust me. Which is why I went through every single bit of Caspian's past I could dig out to create an unltimate timeline of his entire goddamn life to see it it'd be plausible for him to become a mole at any point in time and ultimately prove his innocence! If that's something you're interested in reading, then buckle up!

"Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones. This is totally seperate from the Black-Ops situation that you learned about in the Stronghold. And you, in this book, can tell that there is a plant on Lizzie's crew."

This, of course is something I need to point out first. Whoever Lizzie's mole might be, they are not a doppelganger. They are not a clone, or Black-Ops, just a solider of the Navy, a person that must have gotten into the Navy via regular recruitment, be trained by them and then put into a spy division. Jay ofc had this entire process sped up, due to her grandma's influence, but no one other than her, especially an Undersea citizen, who would probably have to put in extra effort to be trusted given their shaky political situation few years back, would get the same treatment. What I'm trying to say, Caspian would need time, at least few years of training to become a mole they'd trust to infiltrate a crew, and not just any crew might I add. More on that later. Let's go back to his most early years for now. This is a fragment of episode 84 in which Caspian talks to Gillion abt his early life:

C: We all have family. I consider my life up here, this crew to be my found family. But my previous…tribe with the water genasi in the Undersea, where I was growing up…sort of in a [illegible]... remember me telling you about the outskirts? We um…was very nomadic, quite a, quite a peaceful, tranquil life, but it was always, you know…mixed with this life of poverty and my family wasn’t very…wouldn’t really have much but the water around us, and each other, I suppose, so uh…You know...I mean my mother didn’t make it past old age, and uh…

G: I’m sorry…

C: When my sister left the tribe, my father sort of fell into a depression of sorts and he stopped moving around. And when we stayed in one place, I was 18 or so, maybe 16, it was a while ago, and then…that’s when I left as well. Ventured to the Oversea, and um…and it’s history, so that’s my family. Not sure what they’re up to these days, I mean…I know my sister went to the capital, where you were.

G: Pirating is a pretty lucrative business, maybe if…we managed to find them or run into them, we can give something back, put them in a better situation.

C: …Well um…I mean this was 10-15, 10 to 12 to 15 years ago, quite some, quite some time, so I don’t even know if my father is alive still, I mean I don’t really have the desire to go back to the undersea, Gill.

G: Wha-why not?

C: Because I like my life up here. This is where I’m happy.

So, before we go to what all of that entails, one more quick crazy thing to mention: so, Caspian's sister is an Elder of the Undersea. Like for sure. This is confirmed by this part from ep. 79:

The Triton who you remember as the Elder Odolaf, who looks like he is about to speak, but is cut off by the water genasi, who has been doing a lot of talking thus far, who is Elder Celeste. They stand up and there is a familiarity that you notice now in their face. It’s like you have met them before, but not in the way that you know them because they are the Elder, but in a way that it’s like, they look like somebody you know. And she has sort of these uh, white tied-up like dreads that are tied up in like a bun and they come across the face and then one side is shaved. And there are beads and piercings in her hair, her ears are a little bit more sea elf-like in the way that they are pointed and they kind of like gradient into pink. They all kind of wear the same sort of ornate robes, though hers is more, I guess faded and like cut a bit, look a bit more warriorous, or like tribal, but still very well-made and professional.

Tribal clothing, a water genasi, that looks like someone Gillion saw before in the face. The only water genasi Gillion met after leaving the Undersea is Caspian. Elder Celeste is Caspian's sister. Wild. Anyway, not what we're here for, but I needed to mention that.

The crazier thing is that Caspian left to Oversea when he was 16-18, and it has been 10-15 years since then. That means Caspian is currently 26 at possible youngest, and 33 at his oldest, which was surprising to me, I did not imagine Caspian as a man in his 30s! But that's straight up facts, so holy shit, you know?

Okay, so I'm going to list a lot of small facts that determine a lot of ages in quick succession. I hope it's not gonna be too scary to look at, I'll simplify it all at the end. [Deep inhale]

Right now Gillion is 22. So when Caspian left the Undersea, Gillion was 12-7. Jay is 21 and Ava was 2 years older, same age as Lizzie. So Lizzie is 23 now. When Caspian left the Undersea, she was 13-8. Chip is 19, so Lizzie is 4 years older. Hole in the Sea happened when Chip was 9, so Lizzie was 13. So Caspian left the Undersea around the same time Lizzie crashed on the uninhabited island with Chey after the Hole.

It's a lot, I know, I know. So let me clear this up a little.

Hole in the sea was 10 years ago. Chip was 9, Lizzie was 13. 10 years ago Caspian was in the age between 16 and 23, and he left the Undersea when he was 16 or 18. So roughly at the same time the Black Sea happened, Caspian came to the surface for the first time.

(also pls note that we are talking in estimates, casue in ep. 36 Lizzie says she was 11 when the hole happened, but in ep. 101 she says she was the same age as Ava which by the power of math would put her at 13. Either way, somewhere around that age)

After that, Lizzie spend some time on an uninhabited island with Chey, the Black Rose cook, who sacrificed herself for Liz, so she could survive and died shortly after. We do not know how much time passed, but I assume no longer than few months, and after that she was saved by Captain Shadowbeard where she met Caspian. They were a part of Shadowbeard's crew, Caspian saved her from the massacre where Shadowbeard was killed, and then Lizzie went on to create her own crew, Grandberry Pirates with Caspian never leaving her for a second since he met her. That means that the only time Caspian could have joined the Navy would be RIGHT after he came to the Oversea for the first time, roughly at the same time Lizzie was stranded on an island, and in that short period of time (between Lizzie's crash on the island and her being found by Shadowbeard) he would have to find the time to be trusted and accepted by Navy, get trained specifically for infiltration AND infiltrate not anyones BUT FUCKING SHADOWBEARD'S SHIP. Not a NEW crew. A crew of one of the most legendary pirates on the sea. Cause before Lizzie, Caspian was Sadowbeard's crew member, and since then he never stopped being a pirate, so if he was a solider, he would have had to be one before Shadowbeard. And remeber what Grizzly said in 115: "Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones."

Shadowbeard was not new. Not upcoming. He was dangerous and Navy must have had the balls of steal to send a rookie solider, which Caspian would have been at that point in time, to infiltrate him. The numbers say it's impossible. Guys, the numbers! They don't add up!

Anyway, so basically Caspian could not be a mole. He is not a new pirate, he was not a member of a fresh crew, becaue his pirate journey did not start with Lizzy, it started with Shadowbeard. Grandberry Pirates is a new crew, but Caspian is not a newbie in it. You know who is? Rudith. I mean what kind of doctor lets a bunch of rowdy pirates have a secret base under a place where sick and vulnerable rest??? Like ANY other place would have been better and more respectful! Also you know what's interesting? Gillion could heal these people with lay on hands easily, and yet the only thing Rudith did for them was give them potions that didn't seem to help and look after them on purely non-medical level. Bro didn't do shit. Like, why would you even become a doctor without having access to healing magic? The answer, you are not. You are a Navy solider in disguise.

Okay, okay, I'm done, that's all. If you got this far, you are a hero, thank you for reading this insanely long ramble, but that's kind of the conclusions that I came to, of course, any counter-theories and discussion in general is very much welcome! I'd love to hear your opinions! Love you guys, bye~

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to be in my cousin's life? This will be long, I'm sorry

I (f19, but this started at 15) have a rough relationship with my family, I don't have a better word to describe them as besides just not the best towards me. But the real issue now is that I don't want to be involved in my cousin's (f8, but this started at 5) life. This sounds very silly, I know, but let me explain. My cousin is physical in how she expresses herself towards me (she likes to throw things at me and hit me and bite me, and I can't do anything about it because I get in trouble if I do). I have a severe nut allergy and there have been multiple times she's been caught trying to smear peanut butter on me or in my mouth while I slept. She likes to tell me she wishes I'd just eat the peanut butter so she'd never have to see me again. She just hates me, honestly (I'm not sure why, I've never hated the kid, I'm not mean to her, none of us have been able to figure out why and when asked she just says she hates me because she hates me)

The house we lived in contained just me, her, my mother, and my uncle. She is not abused by either adult, before anyone asks, she's actually quite spoiled due to the fact that they can't discipline her in any way without risking her being taken away. And I don't hate her at all, I'm bitter about how she treats me, but I know she's only a little kid. However, I just don't like being treated that way. I recently moved out and I told my mother that I didn't want to be part of my cousin's life until she stopped treating me that way. (Info: My mother thinks she treats me this way because she's a kid so she can't vent her anger out on the adults and I was the only other kid she could vent it out on.) My mother thinks I'm being cruel and punishing my cousin, she says I'll regret this choice and that my cousin will be all I have one day so I shouldn't do this. I've tried to explain that I'm not doing it to punish my cousin, it's just not good for my mental health and I can't be around this behaviour anymore. Other family members and family friends have agreed with my mother, but my friends think my decision is right. Since moving out and not going through that every day, I've started to feel better about myself, my depression isn't as bad and I don't have as much anxiety when I go to sleep. That is kinda swaying my decision to me thinking I'm right for choosing this for myself, but I still worry my mother might be right and I might be ruining my cousin's mental health by leaving.

I want to add that I know I'm way older than her, and some of you might be wondering why I don't stand up to her, but I could never do anything to stop her. I spent many years in foster care due to issues with my family (my mother, specifically), and I know that even the littlest thing where I live can get your kid taken from you. If I even raised my voice at her to tell her to stop and she told someone, she could be taken away from my family and I can't do that to her, I know the horrors of foster care. I also have spent most of my life being abused and don't know how to protect myself or defend myself in situations like these. Please keep this in mind when/if you call me pathetic or stupid, trust me I know I am.

Please, I know a lot of you may think this is silly or dumb or bait, but I need to know aita for not wanting to be in my cousin's life?

Reasons I think I might be NTA: I think my decision is good for both of us and I believe I should put mental health first in this case as it can be dangerous in the future if I don't. I don't want to stay longer and end up hating her, she's just a kid and doesn't deserve to be hated.

Reasons I think I might be TA: This could be seen as punishing her, and she might hate me more for it. She's already started being meaner to other kids now that she can't vent it out on me and I'm an adult so I can take it better than one of her classmates could. She might think her behaviour drove me away and blame herself.

What are these acronyms?

[haphazardlyannotated]

Steven Universe told from the perspective of other characters

Garnet: A story of gay empowerment from start to finish. As a book it would be titled either Made of Love or Stronger Than You and feature Garnet's gauntlets with her wedding rings on them as cover art.

Amethyst: A seemingly wacky coming of age story that drops the most heartfelt moments when your guard is down. The cover resembles kids' detective stories, the kind where the whole gang is looking around for clues to the mystery.

Pearl: Everything up to Rose's death is an ancient literary classic titled The Ballad of Rose Quartz, illustrated with intricate inkbrush paintings. Steven Universe season one to three is the kind of introspective life after tragedy novel you pick up to look sophisticated reading. It's probably titled Without Her or something similiar. I don't have a title for season four and onwards, but the blurb is "it's not easy to manage twenty girlfriends, two life partners, a son and a dark past at the same time!" It's much more lighthearted than the previous two, but still prone to punching you in the emotions with little warning.

Connie: A magical adventure series just like the Unfamiliar Familiar! It centers Steven the magical boy with his best friend and eventual love interest Connie as the female lead. The tone gets a little darker after the first book/season, but less so than the original Steven Universe (let alone Steven Universe Future).

Greg: First a coming of age story, but unlike Amethyst this one is about breaking away from toxic people in your life. This story gets its happy ending when Greg finally finds someone he can be himself with in Rose. The time until Rose's death is a romantic comedy titled My Girlfriend, her Girlfriend and Me and conists mostly of shenanigans. After Rose's death and Steven's birth, it turns into something more bittersweet centering Greg's worries about being an adequate father to his magical son.

Peridot: It's titled How I learned to stop worrying and join the Rebellion and is easily the most lighthearted installment here. Our dorky protagonist is very obviously a somewhat unreliable narrator, but in a funny way. She encounters a few struggles, but they are quickly overcome with the power of friendship.

Lapis: This is just multiple whump fics. They're in a collection titled Bad Things Happen Roulette. Steven Universe the Movie is a pretty standard fantasy adventure with a group of powerful heroes though, and Steven Universe Future is the fluff fic with a smidge of angst you'd read as a pick me up after Bad Things Happen Roulette.

Bismuth: The war is a good vs evil sci-fi story with lots of social commentary. The Diamonds are definitely irredeemable here. I don't know what to do with the few episodes of the original Steven Universe she was in, but the movie is an empowerment narrative against systemic oppression titled Still Standing, or something in that style. Steven Universe Future however is a romantic comedy.

Rose: This is just a straight (well, bi) up tragedy. Our protagonist desperately tries to recover from her childhood trauma and be a good person, but is ultimately unable to escape the prison of her own mind. The book wins several literature prizes, but very few people actually read it because it's just too depressing.

[skz317cb97]

Why Does it Hurt

Lee Felix x Female reader

Word count: 6.7k (it's like 5.7k of ouch)

Synopsis: When your soulmate Felix can feel everything you feel he wonders, why does it always hurt?

A/N: 18+ ONLY! A bunch of you said you wanted this one to hurt so.... here you go! 😅 I'm loving the polls and everything with this and slowly announcing who's what soul link, so fun! Anyway! If you like this one give it a reblog, like, comment, hit up my asks! I always love hearing from you guys! As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: 18+ONLY MDNI! Cursing/strong language, elements of abuse, violence, imprisonment, death threats, attempted murder(strangulation), mentions of panic attacks, if any of these things can be triggering please skip this one. Oral (m&f receiving), unprotected piv sex (use condoms please), MC's first time, cum shot. I think that's it it's pretty vanilla as far as smut goes. If i missed anything please let me know and I'll add it, I would feel awful if someone read something that upset them. So if you see something I'll add it asap!

Just like most everyone else on the planet, when Felix turned eighteen, he went to a specialist and found out what his soul link was. It was different for everybody. For some it was a mark or a name, others it was a shared talent or eye color maybe. For Felix it was feelings. Mostly emotions, occasionally he would feel physical feelings and it seemed to vary in intensity depending how far he was from you.  

Felix had no idea who you were, no one did really. You had been locked up, a prisoner in your grandfather's house since your parents passed. He was not pleased when he had to take in his orphaned granddaughter so his displeasure was taken out on you with verbal and often physical attacks. Felix felt the desperation and overwhelming sadness that encompassed your life and would fall into long bouts of depression. His family and friends worried about him but there was nothing anyone could do. There was no way for anyone to know who you were or how to find you. It went on like that, days, months, years. Felix learned to deal with the pain but it was never ending. Why did it always hurt? 

Felix’s twenty-first birthday was coming up; he was excited to hang out and relax. His friend Chan had rented an air b&b in a quiet neighborhood close to the beach and invited their six other best friends. All of them planned to surf, swim and relax for the next five days, bonfires, drinks, and plenty of good food with good friends, Felix was ready. The day the guys pulled up to the air b&b Felix was feeling your emotions more intensely than he ever had.  

He tried to just focus on all the fun they were about to have and push that sadness down for now, process it later, right now just... live. When Felix grabbed his bag out of the back hatch his heart started fluttering then racing. It wasn’t his heart though it was yours. God it was intense you had to be close, you must live in one of these houses by the beach. He hoped to meet you while he was there if you did. When Felix turned to walk towards the house he happened to glance over at the neighbors and saw a girl that looked to be around their age peeking out at him and the guys from an attic window. He gave a small smile and waved. When you realized Felix could see you, your eyes went wide and you ducked out of the window. Chan was walking by just then too. 

“Did you see that?” Chan raised his eyebrows and shook his head no. 

“See what?” Felix pointed over to the house. 

“The girl that was in that top window.”  

“We just got here Lix, you’re seeing girls already?” Chan laughed and Felix rolled his eyes giving him a mocking half hearted chuckle.  

“Har har har. You’re so funny dad.” Chan feigned offense 

“I’m not that old!” Felix shrugged laughing and carried his stuff inside. Maybe you were shy, Felix thought. He decided when he saw you outside, he’d try to say hi so that you knew him and the other guys were friendly. Maybe you’d want to come over for a bonfire. He’d say hello and he’d invite you, just as soon as he saw you outside. That night the guys decided to take it easy and just have a gaming night. Felix was watching the match Changbin and Jisung were playing when he felt part of his face start to sting, as if someone had slapped him, hard. 

“Ow fuck!” His swearing caught Chan’s attention. 

“What’s wrong? You okay?” He felt it again, pins and needles on the other side of his face now. 

“Ah fuck my face hurts!” Seungmin laughed not realizing what was going on. 

“Imagine how we feel having to look at it all the time.” A few of the guys laughed and focused back on the game while Chan made sure Felix was okay. Felix felt a pain in his leg, his backside and then his back and then it all seemed to stop. Tears welled up in Felix’s eyes and Chan was worried. 

“Are you okay Lix what’s wrong? Does it still hurt?” A tear rolled down his cheek. 

“It always hurts. Why does it always hurt?! She doesn’t ever feel joy or love, it’s always pain, it’s always suffering. She’s the love of my life and I can’t help her.” Chan had never seen Felix so worked up and they had been friends since elementary school. Felix had never felt it all so strongly. Tears were streaking his face and he was sniffling. The other guys stopped playing the game and huddled around him to comfort him. Felix had a big heart, anyone that knew him knew that. So for the person that he was meant to love for the rest of his life to be in pain and suffering constantly, it chipped away at Felix’s heart. Once everything was calm again Felix wiped his face with his long sleeve and the guys got back to their game. 

“I’m gonna get a little air Channie hyung. I’ll just be out back.” Chan nodded. Felix got up and made his way towards the back door. He stood out on the porch breathing in the cool ocean air, looking up at the clear night sky, hundreds and thousands more stars than you could see in the city. He glanced over at the attic window he’d seen you in earlier that day and saw a candle flickering from inside and then noticed your head poked up, peeking out at him. You quickly ducked away and then the candlelight went out. Shortly after, Felix rejoined the others inside. 

Earlier in the day while you sat in your prison cell that was the attic, you had heard a little commotion outside, then you heard a couple of men’s voices. You weren’t supposed to go near the windows, you knew that, but you were curious, it was usually pretty quiet there, which is exactly why your grandfather liked it. Against your better judgement you walked over to the window and looked over at the house next door. When you did you saw eight men, probably around your age, maybe a little older, carrying things into the house. There was one in particular that pulled at you like a magnet. He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, not that you’d seen many beautiful things in your life. Your heart fluttered then started pounding. Then as if he knew you were there, he stopped and looked right up at you, it surprised you and you froze. The softest, warmest smile spread on his face and he waved at you. You quickly backed away from the window but the damage was done. Your grandfather had his cameras set up all over that house, inside and out. There was no way he would miss the innocent little wave that man next door had given you.  

Later that night when your grandfather came home from work you knew you were in for it. You could hear him coming up the stairs. Big boots clunking as he stomped up each one. When he walked in you immediately started to apologize hoping that it might spare you a little pain. It did not, your grandfather didn’t say a thing he back handed you across the face, he slapped you a few more times before you fell down on your flat sleeping mat crying.  

“You’re going to learn one of these days what happens if you don’t follow my rules.” He pulled off his belt and started slapping you with it hard, wherever it landed, your legs, your ass, your back. He threw it at you out of breath. 

“Next time I’ll hang you with it do you understand?” You cowered and nodded that you did. He picked up his belt and stomped back out. You laid there crying in the candlelight, the only light you were permitted to have. You knew it was best to just fall asleep as quickly as possible. He wouldn’t be bringing you food tonight, not when he beat you, never after you had been punished. You heard someone walk outside next door. You crawled over, the burning welts the belt left still intense and painful. You just peeked over your windowsill this time and you saw him again, the pretty blonde man with freckles and the smile of an angel. He looked over, it was like he could tell when you were looking at him. You quickly crawled back away before he waved or anything that might upset your grandfather again. You curled back up on your mat and blew out your candle. You closed your eyes and hoped to dream of a life where you and the cute, freckled guy next door might meet and fall in love.  

The next day the guys all went dashing out of the back door of the house and out onto the beach whooping and hollering. They were ready for a little sand and surfing. Felix again couldn’t help but look up at the neighbor's attic window to see if he could see you again, he paused a moment before he dashed off with his board under his arm to catch up with his friends. You had seen him looking. You were smart enough to stand back from the window this time. You could see him but he couldn’t see you, or so you thought. Felix actually did see you but he didn’t want to frighten you away again. So he ran and caught up with the guys as his heart raced. You watched as the sweet blonde boy caught wave after wave with his friends, wishing you could be out there too. Laying in the sand, splashing the water at friends. Even though you were raised in that house most of your life, if you could even call it raising, the last time you had been at the beach was before your parents had died.  

You were only six when you and your parents were in a horrible car crash. Somehow you had survived with bumps and bruises while the wreck killed both of your parents almost instantly. Then you were sent to live with your grandfather, the only family you had left in the world, who locked you in the attic and told everyone else that you had died in the same crash as your parents. He would feed you once a day twice if you were lucky and only let you out once a day to go to the bathroom and shower. There were rules as well and if you didn’t follow them there was hell to pay. No leaving the attic, no making any noise, no going near the windows, only speak when told to and a slew of others. Sometime around your eighteenth birthday every now and then you’d feel a little light inside your heart. Your grandfather did all he could to extinguish it and he did a very good job of it. Eventually you couldn’t feel the light inside anymore but something about the tanned freckled guy next door made that light shine a bit again. 

Since you were hidden from the world you had never been told about soulmates or what your soul link was, so you didn’t know that little light in your heart was Felix. You didn’t know that anytime your sadness felt overwhelming he’d think of all the happy wonderful things about life, things that he loved and just hoped you could feel it as he pushed all those good feelings towards you. No matter how much he put into it, his whole heart usually, it only came through as the little light. 

The next day the guys all piled into the car and left for a local spot to have lunch. When they got back the old neighbor lady on the other side of their air b&b was out gardening. When she saw the eight handsome men pile out of the car she smiled and stood up to greet them, wiping dirt off her hands on her apron. After introductions and a little small talk the old lady mentioned something about the other surrounding neighbors being nice as well and then Felix remembered the girl in the window, he had seen you a couple of times now and he was curious about you. 

“Oh yea! Speaking of neighbors, what’s the name of the girl next door on the other side of us? Around our age? I was gonna invite her over to a bon fire but she seems kind of shy and I haven’t seen her outside...” The old neighbor lady looked at Felix like he was stupid.  

“Old Herb’s place? Ain’t no girl living in that house. Only girl it coulda been woulda been his granddaughter y/n, she’d be around you boys age now, but she died in a car wreck with her folks quite a way back.” Felix nodded. 

“My mistake.” Felix and the guys excused themselves and went on about their goal for the rest of the day, more surfing. Felix was confused. He was positive he’d seen a young woman in that house, he had waved at you. He didn’t just imagine that. Every time they went to the beach now Felix glanced up at the window. Every time he did his heart started to beat out of his chest. Every day that passed you knew was a day closer to the man with the freckles and his friends leaving and every day you felt like it was a day closer to the end for you.  

You don’t know what came over you. You rummaged through some boxes your grandfather stored up in the attic with you, another rule, no touching his things. You had to do it. You went through and managed to find a piece of chalk and a chunk of some old map or something. You didn’t care, you had to do it. Your handwriting was atrocious and your spelling awful but you wrote a short message and then folded and tossed it into the neighbor's yard praying your grandfather didn’t catch it on the cameras. You had to do it, if not now, then you never would and how long would your grandfather really be willing to keep you? It had been fifteen years. The beatings were getting worse and the death threats came more often it was only a matter of time before he really killed you. You had to do it. 

Felix and Changbin were playing frisbee in the back yard while some of the other guys played video games. It was the last day there; they would be leaving tomorrow afternoon. Felix had looked up at your attic window countless times, he didn’t know why. You weren’t ever there anymore and he started to wonder if he had just dreamed you up. Changbin put a little too much wrist into his toss and the frisbee sailed over the house to the side yard. 

“I got it!” Felix ran around the side of the house and grabbed the plastic disc. He was just about to turn and run back when he noticed what looked like a piece of trash on the ground. When he picked it up he realized it was folded. He opened the tattered piece of paper and saw what looked like a note scribbled by a child. It was hard to read, pryzner atick. He ran back around the house and showed Changbin. 

“What does this say?” Changbin looked at it. 

“I dunno man it’s just some kid’s scribbles it doesn’t say anything.” Felix shook his head, he’d found it under your window. 

“No this says something.” Changbin shrugged and Felix ran off to ask Chan what he thought. Chan was looking over the scrap of paper when everyone heard your grandfather's truck fly up and skid to a stop in the gravel driveway. He’d seen you toss the note. You were absolutely terrified and Felix could feel every bit of it. 

“Oh my god!” Felix finally put it together. He was an idiot for not realizing sooner. Chan was waiting as Felix processed. 

“What? What’s wrong?!” Felix looked at Chan with tears in his eyes. 

“She’s terrified. He’s gonna kill her.” Chan was confused. 

“Who?!”  

“The girl next door!” Now Chan was even more confused. The old lady had said there was no girl. 

“How do you know?!” Felix gripped Chan’s shoulders tightly. 

“Because she’s my fucking soulmate!” Felix ran out of the house and Chan and a few of the other guys ran after him trying to stop him. Your grandfather had seen you toss the note and he was going to do exactly what he told you he would if you stepped out of line again. You could hear his heavy boots as he skipped steps on his way up to the attic, the sound of his belt already being removed. You cowered in a corner. You had to do it. Your grandfather kicked the attic door in and you screamed. 

“You shut your fucking mouth! You did this! You brought this down on yourself!” He picked you up easily, of course he did, you were malnourished and weak from never getting any sun or exercise. You tried to fight him but it was like a twig hitting an oak, it did nothing. He wrapped his belt around your neck and slid it back into the buckle pulling it tight around your neck, cutting off your air. He held you out in front of him and you grasped at the belt trying to loosen it but couldn’t, your own weight was drawing it tighter around your throat. You could see the vignette of darkness starting to cloud your vision, you knew death was coming. You weren’t scared anymore, you were relieved. Maybe you would finally get some peace. 

Felix burst into the neighbor’s house and started looking for stairs as Chan rushed in after him, telling the other’s to stay behind. Felix rushed around a corner and there they were. He started dashing up them, Chan tried to keep up but Felix was too fast. He was right on his heels when Felix finally made it up the stairs to the attic. The door was kicked off the hinges. Felix ran in, Chan right after him and both saw your grandfather strangling you with a belt. 

“Hey! Put her the fuck down NOW!” Your grandfather spun around surprised to find two of the young men from next door standing there. He dropped you and you started gasping for air. Your grandfather may have been strong enough to overpower you but up against two fit men, in their twenties, with six more a call away, he knew he couldn’t take them. Instead, he ran between them and fled. Chan called 911 as your grandfather jumped into his truck and sped off again. The other guys had no idea what was going on so none of them attempted to stop him.  

“Hey man! Where’s our friends!?” He peeled away kicking up rocks. Felix ran over to you and gently lifted your head and took the belt off from around your neck. You were weak, still gasping for air, struggling to breathe. Felix was terrified he was too late, he checked your pulse on your wrist, avoiding touching your neck, and it was faint. He started talking to you. Trying to keep you awake. 

“Hey hey, uhm, I’m Felix, and uhm...” He tried to fight back his tears. 

“I’m gonna take care of you alright? You’re gonna be okay... okay?” Felix nodded as he failed to keep his tears from falling. They streaked his freckled cheeks and you wished you were strong enough to wipe them away. You could hear the sirens approaching but you were so tired. You just wanted to rest your eyes. 

“Hey hey HEY! STAY AWAKE! DON’T GO TO SLEEP! PLEASE!” You wanted to listen but you just couldn’t. You closed your eyes and everything was dark, quiet, peaceful. 

You woke up in a bright white room. It smelled clean, completely different than the musty attic you’d lived in for so long. You squinted and tried to focus your vision, but it was difficult between the pain in your head and the bright lights. You finally managed to open your eyes and the first thing you did was try to scan the room. You tried to move your head but couldn’t and winced in pain sucking air in through your teeth. The sound woke up whoever was in the room with you. A tired, deep, grumbly man’s voice came from your right. 

“y/n?” He walked to where you could see him and you realized it was the freckled man from next door. 

“Wha-whe-” Your voice barely came out. It was horse and hurt to talk. 

“Don’t try to talk yet. Everything is okay now. I’m gonna get a nurse and let them know you’re awake. I’ll be right back.” Felix ran out of the room excited to see your beautiful eyes open again, he’d been so afraid he never would. When Felix walked back in so did a nurse and a doctor.  They asked you some yes and no questions and you would point at your answer on a clip board. After they left you motioned to Felix asking what happened, you only remembered your grandfather coming into your room and then everything was black. Felix pulled his chair up by you. 

“After I found the note you tossed out the window and your grandpa came home I realized what it said. Prisoner attic.” Felix didn’t say anything about soulmates right then, there would be plenty of time for that later and he didn’t want to confuse you. 

“When me and my friend ran into the attic we found him...” Felix hesitated, it was a hard memory for him surely it would be for you too but when he looked at you, you mimed choking and Felix nodded. 

“Yea we found him strangling you. He dropped you and ran off but it didn’t take police long to find him. He’s in jail, there’s still a trial but he’ll be there for the rest of his life no doubt in my mind.” You tried to nod forgetting that you had a neck brace on and winced a little. Felix instinctively grabbed your hand and you gently squeezed it. You took your other hand and pointed at him. You mouthed the word name. 

“Oh! Yea, sorry. I’m Felix.” It wasn’t a very conventional way to meet your soulmate but that was the first day of forever for the two of you. After a few days the neck brace came off, a couple of weeks and your larynx was healed enough to start talking. You were severally malnourished, hadn’t had direct sunlight in fifteen years, didn’t move anymore than you could around the attic. There was a lot healthwise that needed addressed a number were things you’d probably deal with for the rest of your life. Felix was with you every step of the way. After you started getting better he explained the whole soulmate thing. You’d never even known soulmates were a thing. Then you remembered that little light that would shine in your heart and you knew then that it had always been Felix in your heart. 

Once your health issues had all been addressed and stabilized and the doctors deemed you strong enough to leave the hospital you weren’t sure what was next. You were twenty-one, pretty much illiterate, you knew nothing about the world or how to survive in it. You stood on the sidewalk thinking of all the challenges still to come when Felix pulled up in his car. He got out and opened your door. You slid into the passenger seat and then Felix ran around getting back in the driver’s seat. He looked at you and gave you his megawatt smile. 

“Let’s go home.” Home. You didn’t know what that was. The place that you had lived for practically your whole life was only a prison. You would never call it home. Home was Felix. Wherever he was that was home. The day you were released from the hospital was the day that you started living with Felix. He was insistent on taking things slowly. 

“We have our whole lives, so let’s crawl before we run, okay?” You nodded and were secretly thankful he was so patient and willing to move slowly, you knew absolutely nothing about each other and you knew nothing about being in any kind of relationship let alone a romantic one. Felix helped you with everything. You would have panic attacks from what you went through but also from the thought of how endlessly massive the world was outside of that attic. Felix taught you pressure points and tricks to ground yourself when you felt out of control. He enrolled you into some night courses so you could learn to read and write and helped you with flash cards and studying. From there you started taking math classes, history, and so on. Before long you were taking high school level classes and by the time you were twenty-three you had earned your GED all with Felix by your side cheering you on. He didn’t want you to be dependent on him in the world, he wanted you to feel independent, like you could do it on your own if you had to. You never would, Felix would always be there for you but he felt like it was important for you to be able to do things on your own. Felix was insanely proud of you and couldn’t believe how strong you were.  

When you had moved into his place he insisted on you staying in a room of your own. You had never had a room of your own. Some nights it was hard to sleep on the soft bed and you’d curl up with your blanket on the floor. Mornings Felix found you like that broke his heart. He’d let you sleep in those days because it usually meant you hadn’t gotten much rest. You had lived with Felix for almost two years when you got your GED. In that time you guys had taken baby steps in your relationship. The first time you and Felix kissed it was because you kissed him. You could tell that he wanted to kiss you and you really wanted to kiss him so you leaned over on the couch while you watched tv together and pressed your lips against his. He’d been surprised at first but then kissed you back. You both had butterflies. 

Felix walked into the apartment the two of you shared together now. He found you in the kitchen washing up some dishes. He walked over and kissed your cheek and you leaned into it, into his warmth. 

“Sorry I’m so late.” You shook your head. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was he was home. He was home, your home. You turned and kissed him on the lips nibbling his bottom one, making him laugh. 

“What’s gotten into you? Hmm?” You just shook your head and pecked his lips once more. 

“Okay, whatever you say. I’m gonna shower, need the bathroom before?” You shook your head no. 

“No Lixie, go enjoy your shower.” He cupped your cheek and you closed your eyes. The warmth was like how it felt when the sun warmed your cheeks on a spring day. When you opened your eyes again you found his endless brown eyes memorizing the flecks of colors in yours. He cupped your other cheek, leaned in and kissed you then pulled a breath away. 

“I love you y/n.” Your eyes shot open. Neither of you had ever said the L word. You were certain that you felt it, at least you thought you did. When Felix said it though you knew, without a doubt that you loved him too. He saved you, took you in. Felix had done far more for you in two years than your grandfather ever did in fifteen. You could never repay him and he would never expect you to. 

“I love you too Felix.” He smiled and bit his lip. 

“Okay, shower.” You nodded smiling too and he ran off to take his shower. When Felix got out of the shower he wrapped his towel around himself and went to his room. He was surprised to find you sitting in there on his bed in your robe. 

“Oh! Hey, uh... do you need something?” You didn’t say anything, you walked towards him and put your arms around his shoulders. 

“Wha-” You kissed his lips cutting him off and he was more than a little surprised when your tongue started prodding asking for entry into his mouth. He turned his head and opened his mouth allowing you to kiss him deeper. You two had only ever made out two times and both times Felix made you stop not wanting to take things too fast. It had been two years and you were madly in love with this man. You didn’t want to wait any longer. 

“Felix?” He hummed as you kissed down his jaw and neck.  

“I want you...” He hummed again lost in the feeling of your lips on his skin. 

“You want me to what?” He asked his brain only working at half capacity. You giggled. 

“I want you to touch me.” He pulled back and looked at you before shaking his head. 

“We don’t hav-” You cut him off. 

“I want you to make love to me Felix, I want it. I know we don’t have to but I want to...” You started getting a little teary eyed. 

“Don’t you?” Oh that broke Felix’s heart. He didn’t want you to think he didn’t want you. He’s wanted you since the moment he saw you. 

“Of course jagiya of course! I just... I want you to be sure. You’re sure?” You nodded. 

“Yes Felix I’m sure. You’re the man that saved me. My soulmate. I love you so much Felix.” He wrapped his arms around you. 

“I love you too.” His lips were against yours and things got heated quickly, teeth biting, tongues battling for dominance that no one could win. You pulled the tie of your robe loose and dropped it, you were completely naked underneath. Felix had never seen you without clothes on. The scars left from the beatings your grandfather gave you were still very visible. Tears welled up in Felix’s eyes and you ran your fingers through his hair. 

“It’s okay Lixie, it doesn’t hurt anymore.” He laid you back on his bed and started kissing every scar. Your body started tingling and it was throbbing between your legs, making you want to press them together. Felix hovered over your aching core. 

“Is this okay?” You nodded biting your lip. You weren’t sure what he was going to do but you trusted Felix. He gently parted your legs and then licked you. You jumped not expecting the warm wet feeling of his tongue against you like that but it felt amazing. 

“Oh!” He looked up to make sure you were still okay. You nodded and he continued. He softly flicked his tongue across your clit and it made your body buzz. You were getting a little breathy. You still had episodes with your breathing from time to time and Felix started to worry that maybe you were having one. He stopped and sat up a bit. You groaned at the loss of contact and looked down. 

“Why’d you stop?” He just giggled once he realized you were okay and went back to savoring you slow and steady until you felt your impending orgasm crash into you. Your legs trembled as Felix continued to softly run his tongue through your glistening folds. 

“F-Felix... oh... oh god.” You panted out. You gently pushed against his head, starting to get sensitive and Felix pulled away, climbing back up your body and kissing your lips. When he pulled away you let out a deep breath and started laughing from all the endorphins your orgasm had released.  

“Wow! I didn’t know anything felt like that.” Felix smiled. He’d seen you have a lot of firsts but your first orgasm was a thing of beauty. He was so hard under his towel there was no way you didn’t notice. You ran your hands up and down his sides.  

“Tell me how to do that for you.” Felix looked at you surprised. 

“Are you sure?” You nodded. You wanted to make him feel what you just felt. It was earth shattering in the best ways. He took one of your hands and ran it down his firm body until you were cupping his hard cock over his towel. He let out a breath, even the slight contact felt amazing. He rolled off of you and laid back on the bed, the towel tented by his painfully hard dick. You sat up and kneeled between his legs like he’d done to you. You pulled at the tucked in part of the towel and let it fall open exposing Felix to you entirely. He was so beautiful, every piece of him, every inch, every freckle, every sparkle in his eye, gorgeous. 

“Lick your palm and then wrap your fingers around it.” You did as Felix said and licked your palm, wetting it then grabbed a hold of his cock gently. He hissed a little and you were worried you had hurt him. He bit his lip and tilted his head back and you realized it wasn’t that it hurt it was that it felt good. Once he could lift his head again he told you what to do next. 

“Move your hand up and down now...” You moved your hand slowly and he let out a low moan that made you throb between your legs again. You went with your gut, you leaned forward and licked him like he’d licked you. 

“Oh god yes, do that again please...” You licked it again and again Felix hummed. 

“Mmmyou can put it in your mouth... if you want, if not the licking and your hand is enough, it feels so good jagi.” If putting his dick in your mouth felt even better you were doing it. You wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel, you wanted to make him cum. You put the tip in and softly sucked on it unsure of what else to do, but it was kind of like a popsicle so you treated it like one. The way Felix’s breath quickened you must have been doing it right. You pulled off and kept moving your hand up and down. 

“Like that?” He nodded quickly. 

“Yes! Oh fuck yes! Suck just like that and see if you can go down more.” You put his tip back in your mouth and fit more of him inside sucking. 

“Yes y/n god that feels so good. Now just go up and down.” He gathered your hair so he could look down and see you as you started bobbing up and down. The more those little sounds came from Felix the more you wanted to push him to the edge. You went faster and took more of his cock, spit dripping down his shaft that you used to stroke what you couldn’t fit. Felix’s stomach sunk in and out with his deep breaths. 

“I’m gonna cum y/n, just stroke me, I don’t want to cum in your mouth” You appreciated the warning, you weren’t sure if you were ready for all that just yet. You pulled off of him and stroked him faster. 

“Pucker your lips and rub the tip on it jagiya.” You did what he said, stroking him as you rubbed the sensitive tip against your lips. He suddenly grabbed his dick and pulled it away from your face as he started coming. He moaned and panted as you ran your hands up and down his thighs while he stroked his cock and shook through his orgasm. When he was all together again, he took his towel and wiped the cum off his belly and hand and then tossed it in his dirty bin. Felix crawled back into bed over you again laying you back, smiling, glowing post orgasm. 

“Baby that was...” You were blushing and smiling. 

“It was okay?” He chuckled a little at just how sweet you were. The guys always thought he was so sweet, he had nothing on you. 

“It was way more than okay jagi, that was amazing.” Your smile grew and you pulled him down for a kiss. You two made out like that for a bit and then Felix’s hand started to trace down your body. 

“I’m gonna put my fingers inside you so that I don’t hurt you okay?” You nodded. Felix alternated between kissing you and sucking on your nipples as he eased his fingers into you and started to stretch you a bit. It felt strange, not painful, just different. You and Felix laid in bed and made out like that for a while. When Felix added teasing your clit to fingering you it suddenly felt really good. The wetter you got the harder Felix got and only once he made you cum again did he crawl between your legs, kneeling. His hands ran up and down your body as you came down from your second orgasm. Once Felix knew you were back with him he smiled and leaned down to kiss you.  

“I’m gonna put it in but I won’t hurt you.” You nodded. 

“You never have.” Felix kissed you tenderly. 

“And I never will jagiya.” He slowly started to push his tip inside you. Once he had he stopped and let you get used to the feeling of something so big inside you. It didn’t hurt, kind of like when he first put his fingers inside you, it was different. After a minute he pushed in a little more. Slowly he pushed in and waited and pushed in and waited until he was fully inside you. You felt so full, it felt so good. 

“Felix...” He looked down at you worried you may be in some discomfort. As soon as he saw your blissed out face any anxiety he was feeling about hurting you disappeared. He slowly pulled out and pushed in. 

“Yes, yes, more please...” He did it again faster and again. He started a slow rhythm burying himself deep inside you every now and then. You could feel that rubber band in you stretching ready to snap again at any moment. You weren’t sure how long it lasted, you weren’t sure where your body started and Felix’s stopped, hell you weren’t even sure what day it was anymore, you just knew that the third orgasm you had that night was by far the best feeling of your entire existence. Felix started thrusting faster reaching for his climax, he could feel it. 

“I’m g-gonna pull out, c-can I cum on you this time?” You moaned as you still shook through your orgasm. 

“Yes Lixie, do it, cum on me.” Felix choked out a moan, he pulled out stroking his cock as he came. You could feel warm cum landing on your skin and it surprisingly felt really good. Once he took a second to get his bearings, he quickly grabbed his towel again and wiped his cum off of you. He tossed it in the bin again and this time when he got into bed with you, he pulled you close and pulled the blankets over you both. You turned in his arms and started tracing his freckles. He scrunched his nose, his deep laugh resonating inside you. You nuzzled up against Felix, his slow deep breaths pulling you to sleep. When you were somewhere between sleep and awake you softly spoke against his skin. 

“It doesn’t hurt anymore.” 

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[minniesmutt]

⚠︎ ━━━ MATERNITY LEAVE

⚠︎ ━━━ SS + WC: 10 + 0.4k

⚠︎ ━━━ CONTENT: uzzlang for pose reference

     “I’m back!” Jeongin called into the apartment 

     Y/n glanced up from her laptop and looked towards the apartment door. Smiling as he walked into the living room. Leaning down to kiss her, “How’d the meeting go?” she asked 

     “HR is doing some investigation but it’s looking like i have to fire someone,” Jeongin sighed and sat down 

     “Sounds like fun,” Y/n laid her head on his shoulder 

     “Yeah. Favorite part of owning a company,” Jeongin wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead. “Speaking of companies. My dad’s company is hosting a banquet next week and he asked me to bring you.”

     “Okay, I’ll be your date,” Y/n smiled 

     “There’s gonna be people from other companies there. They’re gonna ask about you.”

     “And what are you going to tell them?” Y/n sat up and turned to him

     “I wanna tell them you're my girlfriend but, what do you think?”

     “Why are you asking me?”

     “Because my world is different from yours. You’ll get a lot more attention than you’re used to. And our little guy is going to get it too.”

     Y/n leaned forward and pecked his lips, “I knew that when we got together. I knew our baby was going to get the attention too. We can talk about him when I'm closer to the due date, but I'm fine with a little more attention.”

     Jeongin smiled, “Good. I was worried about what you would think about it all.”

     “Why?”

     “I might sound like a loser but you're the first serious relationship I’ve had so in my mind this is a big deal.”

      “You never had a serious relationship before?” 

     “That’s what you focused on?” Jeongin laughed

     “Yes! Am I really your first serious relationship? Did you not date anyone before me?!”

     “I did but they never lasted. Most of the time, girls didn’t like the fact my best friend was a girl and i don’t think it helped i was always with (Astrid) because of stuff that was going on at her home. I didn’t really work through it till we kind of fell off for a couple years.” Jeongin explained, “After I went to college, i just settled for hookups”

     “Girls were mad about (Astrid)?”

     “It was when her depression was bad and I chose to be there for my friend even though she told me I didn't have to be.”

     Y/n smiled and pecked his lips again, “I hope our son is as good of a person as his dad is.”

     Jeongin smiled and pulled her in for a kiss again.

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© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[cannellee]

I really love your Tokyo Revengers a/b/o-verse very much and there’s smth about it that’s satisfying.

If possible would it be ok for you to write head canons of Draken being the alpha is in a relationship with two sweet omega’s who’s Emma and Reader. I thought that this would be very interesting to look at!

Here’s some ideas…

- An A/O/O relationship in which one Omega (Emma Sano) is very anxious and gets depressed a lot when left alone so the Alpha suggests adding another Omega to the relationship so they won’t be as lonely anymore when the Alpha is busy. Both agreeing but being nervous as the Alpha tries to find an Omega that they think will be suitable and quickly becoming attached to a very sweet and cheerful Omega (the reader) …the Alpha being thrilled when their current Omega forms an immediate attachment to the new mate that they chose

- An A/O/O relationship and whenever one Omega (Reader) gets mad at the Alpha, the other Omega (Emma) almost always takes their side because they are extremely sensitive to their Omega mate’s distress and they get very upset with the Alpha for making them unhappy

Source copied from: https://www.tumblr.com/omegaversethings/154244909092/poly-relationship-headcanons (Im also new to the a/b/o-verse so that’s why I had to look through some sources so plz forgive me 🙏)

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ★

୨୧ alpha! Draken x omega! Reader x omega! Emma

— tokyo revengers a/b/o headcanons (if it's too long you can start reading after the cut, the first part is not necessary to understand the rest of the fic)

my masterlist : ☆

(I love this request so much! I hope you like it!! btw I'm sorry for the long wait😭 I'll also probably do something similar in the future bc I'm not satisfied with what I wrote, but the idea is just so cute!!)

emma and draken have been in a relationship over a year now.

draken was the one who started courting a very impatient emma and soon after they became inseparable.

both were very happy, a clear dynamic had settled between them.

emma had finished high school and planned to definitely stop her studies to focus on herself and her relationship, while draken worked at his bike shop the day and often participated in gang's meetings at night.

as emma's alpha, draken vowed to provide for his omega the most he could and to protect her until the very end.

he is very dedicated and takes care of emma the best he can.

that's why he rarely comes home, he's so focused on making sure he can guarantee emma's well being, making enough money she won't have to work herself.

and emma understands that, she's really moved by her alpha's motives, she's glad draken is here to cater for her.

but emma's stressed, she gets anxious rather easily and not having her alpha around most of the day is hard. especially since she spends most of her time alone.

sure she goes out a bit, sees some of her friends, but nothing can compares with a few hours with draken.

she desperately feels lonesome and out of things. her alpha wasn't there when she needed it and draken's absence, no matter how noble his intentions were, took a toll on emma's mood.

it didn't go unnoticed by draken though.

he was coming back from the shop, emma didn't know exactly when but only that it was pitch black outside, his hands black and greasy from fixing bikes. his white clothes only showed how hard he was working for the both of them, and this thought alone made emma feel even worse for unconsciously blaming draken's.

she knew he was doing all of that for her. draken never cared for anything else more than her.

when draken stepped inside, a sour smell straight away invaded his nostrils. so used to his sweet omega's flowery and sugary scent, he was stunned.

he immediately dropped all of his belongings and followed the scent that he was sure belonged to emma, worried sick and hoping nothing bad happened to her.

when he saw her, curled up in a messy nest, curtains and windows closed despite the heat and the horribly distressed smell she was emitting, draken's eyes softened and he relaxed a bit knowing she was there.

he approached slowly, making his presence known as to not alert his omega any further and spread his own pheromones. he hoped that would appease emma.

he then called her name quietly and carefully caressed her head. he took his time comforting her, making sure she knew he was here and was not planning on leaving her anytime soon.

and when she felt better and her crying had stopped, draken urged her to spill everything she's been bottling up. his instincts were screaming at him to resolve and fix anything that was wrong in his sweet omega's life.

and when she did, draken's whole world went crashing down. he hated not taking care better of his omega who eagerly needed him, he thought he had done everything right. sadly, he couldn't just suppress some of his work hours ; he had to make sure emma could count on him in terms of incomes, make sure he could feed her, assure her a roof and a stable life.

he was torn apart and couldn't come up with a conclusion that would satisfy his omega. draken who was ordinarily so composed and thoughtful couldn't stop his brain from fidgeting.

upon hearing his mate crying, draken came out with a solution. he didn't know whether this would please emma and he wasn't sure himself if his idea was going to work anyways.

if his omega was so lonely, what's better than a new companion? he carefully explained his thoughts, that he was busy and that it wouldn't change, no matter how much he wished he could spend his days clinging to his omega.

emma didn't appear offended, they both had often brought up adding someone to their little pack and she seemed to be seriously considering this idea.

though hesitant at first, she agreed and asked draken to find a suitable omega for them...

══════════ ⋆★⋆ ══════════

when draken first met you, you were visiting the bike shop he was working at, hoping to find a few pieces to fix your brother's motorbike.

you looked absolutely clueless and shyly asked draken to help you out.

he was tall, and strong and exuded a really strong aura that made your knees tremble.

to say draken was definitely your type is an understatement, in fact, he probably was everything you were looking for in an alpha.

you ending up with emma and draken was due to a serie of unexpected events, leading you to coincidentally meeting draken multiple times in the streets and chatting for a bit, before eventually meeting his omega, emma.

she was the sweetest and you guys clicked instantly. sharing the same interests and tastes, you found out you both had a lot in common.

you found yourself hanging out with her more often, with draken or not, depending on his work days.

draken noticed a change in emma not long after you started hanging out. uncharacteristically of her, she reached out to you and initiated your outings. having a friend to fill her lonely days seemed to lift up her mood considerably.

her alpha was so relieved to see such a change in her. his worries persisted, but he knew it was only a matter of time before you completely healed emma.

he was glad he found you and emma was ecstatic each time he mentioned your name, becoming more and more enthusiastic when the three of you met up.

the more you guys met, the more draken and emma knew you were the perfect match for them.

and now you & emma were practically always together.

wherever you went, you could be sure emma was as well. she was not leaving you anytime soon.

you guys spent most of your days inside, cuddling with each other and draken would always fondly watch the scene, happy with how well you suited each other.

emma and you were now the 2 most precious people for him, and he was glad you were there for one another. now he didn't feel as guilty for leaving you so often and knew you had each other to rely on0.

now your daily life is filled with warmth, laughter and a lot of cuddles.

draken loves scenting you both and emma especially likes it when you smell just like her. now draken has put his claim on the both of you and you couldn't be happier.

when you guys are cuddling, you're either in draken's soft embrace while emma is attached to his side, or you're emma's little spoon while draken is hugging her.

in those moments your pheromones are all mixing up to form one single scent that emma can't get enough of. she's purring so loudly and draken is just releasing the best protective pheromones you could ask for. it makes you feel so safe!

the softness of it all reminds you of your first couring gifts. you had learned emma was very strict during the courting process, she didn't let draken give you anything that didn't get her approval ; she wanted to impress you and show you that they were perfect for you & could make you happy!

emma knows how to sew, so she made you all sorts of things. from clothes to blankets, you can't even count the amount of gifts the both gave you.

even now, emma gifts you all sort of things all the time.

when the three of you are out, emma is usually grabbing at your arm and guiding you wherever. you both don't have a care in the world when draken has been scenting you for a few minutes before going out and especially since he's right behind you looking all big and menacing. he's your private guard dog and nobody even dares looking your way.

now you and emma rarely get into arguments, you both nag a little but that's about it.

however, it's a different story when draken is involved.

you remember the day of your 1st anniversary, you went out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate it. but draken had to ruin it all and leave early because of work >:(

the moment he came home after finishing his urgent matters, he was excluded from your nest and couldn't join you.

you made him sleep on the couch and forgave him a few days later after countless of apologies and gifts from him.

emma is always one to follow you no matter what.

the day draken forgot to bring home your favourite snack while you were the most sick you ever were, your scent had never been this sour.

looking back, it was a bit exaggerated but your sick state made you more sensitive than usual!

your displeased pheromones made emma upset as well and she nagged draken for you since you weren't able to.

her solidarity with you is unbreakable and you love that about her.

a life with the both of them is indeed hectic but they take such good care of you. your mates are so devoted you wouldn't trade them for anything <3

[0cta9on]

Hey Writer-nim✌️, How's it going?.

Me? Nothing much happening this week just casually waiting for your next story, the latest one are great, not my favor the threesome act but if you can treat them equally then it is ok😅

Hey do you want to write a fluff short story of sakura after the recent Coachella,

"Despite all of the criticism she still managed to respond from her side of view. Many would say she's able to handle it all like a tough nut but in reality she needs someone to comfort her. Would you be there for her as someone she most hopes aiding her?"

Hello mikeylo! Sorry for taking so long with this one, life got in the way :,) I hope you like it and hope ur doing good :)

You knock on the door of Sakura’s hotel room with two matcha lattes and a bag of donut holes in your hands. An hour ago, she texted you to come over, so you decided to stop by a cafe for some treats, thinking she’s probably exhausted from performing for the past two days at Coachella. You still get chills just thinking about her on the stage, performing her heart out for thousands of people.

The door swings open, revealing Sakura in an oversized black hoodie, her eyes puffy and red as if she had just been crying. 

“Hey, I got you a couple tr- Oh.” Without a word, she wraps her arms around your torso, planting her face on your chest. “Is something wrong, Sakura?” The only answer she gives you is a long, depressed sigh. 

Carefully, you push her into the room, shutting the door behind you, and sitting her on the bed. Her eyes stay glued to the ground, deep in thought. A million questions flow through your mind as you try to figure out what could have happened between Le Sserafim’s performance and now. Did she get into a fight with one of her members? Did a family member die? Did you do something wrong?

“Sakura, you have to tell me what’s wrong here. I’m really worried about you,” you say, lacing your fingers with her. It takes a couple moments of silence and waiting, but eventually, she faces you, tears threatening to pour from her eyes.

“I-I… I read the comments… about our performance yesterday… a-and…” Her voice falters, cracking like shattered porcelain.  You pull her into a tight embrace as she lightly sobs into your shoulder. Some of the comments you saw online about Le Sserafim’s set were less than favorable, but you know that they’re nothing but a vocal minority. You witnessed firsthand just how amazing they were on stage, even your friends that knew nothing about the group enjoyed it.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you whisper soothingly. “I promise you a lot of people loved your performance. You did the best you could and that’s all that matters. Don’t beat yourself up just because some people want to be jerks online.”

Sakura pulls away from you, still sniffling. You wipe away her tears, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s do something fun to cheer you up, okay? You’ve been working for the past two days, I bet you’re exhausted,” you suggest.

“Can we just stay inside for today?” She looks up at you, pleading like a sad puppy. How could you ever say no to that face?

______________________________________________________________

“Yah! Stop spamming that move!”

“Stop getting hit by it, dummy!”

Your character gets launched off the stage, leading to another victory for Sakura Miyawaki. She jumps around the room excitedly, rubbing her win in your face for the umpteenth time.

When Sakura first suggested you play Smash Bros together, you figured you would go easy on her, not wanting to upset her more. However, the more she won, the cockier she became. Eventually, you decided to give it your all, but to your horror, not even your best was enough to defeat her gaming prowess.

“One more round!” She exclaims, the flame of competition burning in her eyes.

You toss your controller away and throw the covers of yourself. “I don’t wanna play with you anymore!” You say jokingly.

“Yah!” Sakura jumps on you and attempts to wrestle the covers away from you. The sound of laughter fills the room, a complete 180 from the depressing atmosphere you walked into a couple hours ago. You would gladly lose to her a million times if it meant getting to see her happy like this everyday.

The tussle ends when both of you collapse on the bed, gasping for breath. You look over at each other, which devolves into another chain of faint laughter. The sunlight peeking through the windows is replaced by the night sky, dotted with beams of light from the California nightlife.

“Oh no, it’s dark out. Guess I have to stay the night,” you tease, pulling Sakura towards you. She rests her head on your chest, filling your nostrils with the clean scent of her shampoo.

“I would like that a lot.” She peers into your eyes with a wide grin. Something about her draws you closer. Maybe it’s the way her eyes gaze so lovingly at you or the way her soft lips curl into a smile that never fails to brighten your day. Maybe it’s the way she works hard at everything she does, even if she’s not immediately good at it, or the way she never fails to bounce back from a struggle. Whatever it is, you find yourself leaning into her, closing your eyes as you anticipate the feeling of her lips.

The initial contact is soft and doughy, notes of sweetness coating your tastebuds. You fall deeper into bliss, opening your mouth to deepen the kiss only for your tongue to be blocked by something that didn’t feel like lips. You open your eyes to Sakura laughing at you while pressing a donut hole against your mouth. A wave of emotions wash over you, most notably embarrassment and shock.

“I-I… Y-you…” You sputter. “I’m leaving.” Jokingly, you jump out of bed and stomp your way towards the door.

“Noooo, wait!” She grabs your wrist and tries to pull you back, but unlike her gaming skills, her physical strength is much weaker than yours, allowing you to pull her into your arms. The two of you giggle as you engage in an impromptu slow dance in the middle of her hotel room, swaying side to side to the beat of an imaginary song that only you can hear. The warmth of her embrace leaves you feeling content and enlightened.

“Thank you for staying with me,” she mutters into your chest.

“Thank you for existing.”

Sakura looks up at you, standing on her tippy toes as she pulls you in for a kiss - a real kiss this time. She sighs happily into your mouth, her steady breath sending shivers on the skin of your cheek. You instinctively grab her waist to keep her balanced, holding her close with no intention of letting her go. The ambience of busy cars and chattering people fade into nothing but an afterthought, leaving you to bask in the intimacy of this perfect night.

[raplinesprince]

Somebody Does Love | MYG

Pairing: BestFriend!Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Idol au

Synopsis: You never wanted to burden Yoongi with your problems, he was healing and you weren’t even close but he was your best friend and he’d always turn up for you.

Warnings: Depression, self depreciation, implied self harm.

WC: 2.1k

Posted: 18 August 2023

It didn't take much for Yoongi to worry about you. He could tell something was wrong by something as simple as the way you worded a text or how you carried yourself on a particular day. In fact, he knew you better than you knew yourself. Habits, tastes, quirks. Some of which he'd tell you, others he kept to himself because he didn't want you to stop doing them, because he knew you'd stop if he did.

He knew you well enough that you'd stop all the things he loved most about you if he uttered a word about them, it was a habit of yours he hated. You never did it consciously, of course. It was like it was programmed into you that the second someone told you they loved a feature, you’d change it or one of your quirks, you'd stop doing it almost instantly.

And that list of things he loved was long. He'd probably have to write a book, but there were things he hated, one in particular.

You never wanted to bother him with your problems.

It drives him mad.

He's your best friend, Yoongi would remind you constantly. You're problems were his problems and vice versa. someone broke your heart? They broke his. Someone mistreated him? They mistreated you.

One thing always remained certain for both of you, no one would argue it. You'd take a bullet for each other in a heartbeat.

"You've been staring at the same screen for twenty minutes, hyung." Namjoon broke the silence of Yoongi's studio, interrupting the elder's thoughts.

"Sorry, You wanted something?" Yoongi asked nonchalantly as he swung his chair to face Namjoon, greeting him with a forced smile.

Namjoon held up a set of headphones he'd taken from one of the shelves in Yoongi's studio. "Mine broke, I knew you had a spare."

Yoongi rolled his eyes endearingly, a small breathly laugh slipped out.

"It wasn't my fault this time!" Namjoon protested his innocence.

For once, it actually wasn't the clumsy man-child’s fault.

"Ah yes, it's the little man that mysteriously comes in your studio and breaks all your stuff," Yoongi teased.

"Uhm, It was, actually." A blush rose on Namjoons cheeks, whether he wanted to admit it or profusely deny it, he could give a tomato a run for its money. "Jimin was in.. he.. sat on them."

"Suuure," he teased further, "I'm sure that’s what he, no, the two of you, were doing."

"Hyung!"

"Dongsaeng?" Yoongi hummed, giving Namjoon a knowing look.

"Back to the original point," Namjoon deflected. "Are you okay? You were miles away."

"I'm fine," Yoongi looked back at the lyrics on the screen, his expression changing instantly. "It's y/n."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know" He rested back on his chair while running his hands through his long, fluffy hair. "I haven't heard from her in two days. I was meant to have dinner with her and got really into writing this song and I had an idea for the beat and went all in. She knows I get like that sometimes, and that's the reason when I don't reply."

"Sometimes." Namjoon rolled his eyes jokingly.

"I messaged her that I was sorry and we should have breakfast, no reply. I text about dinner an hour ago, and it's not even delivered."

"You're telling me this like you've never just welcomed yourself into her apartment a million and one times." Namjoon reminded him with a raised brow.

"I really have to fin.."

"GO!" Namjoon ordered his hyung. "Leader privileges," he defended quickly when he realised how abrupt he was while still pointing towards the studio door.

He didn't wait a second longer. Even leaving the studio in his slides, forgoing the Nike dunks by the door. Leaving Namjoon to save his work and sort all his equipment which he gladly did. He was worried about you too, more so because you meant so much to someone that meant equally as much to him. Thirteen years isn't easily forgotten, and you were there too.

He made it to your apartment twenty minutes later, letting himself in like it was his own home.

The sight he saw was enough to cause an ache, vice like grip on his heart.

Quickly making his way to be by your side.

With gentle calloused fingertips your best friend tilted your chin up, his smile was warm and inviting, but his eyes were filled with worry and sadness, even guilt for not noticing something was wrong sooner.

The pad of his thumb wiped away the tears that stained your cheeks, neither set of eyes straying from the others, you only briefly cut eye contact to blink away oncoming tears as they clouded your vision.

You weren’t there, not really. Yoongi knew better than to pressure you into talking, so he stayed silently knelt in front of you for a moment, his large hands engulfing your little ones before bringing them towards his lips for a quick peck before he took a seat beside you. He took you into his arms and kept you close until you stopped crying, not a care for the time that went by or the fact that his phone kept going off. It wasn't important, not right now.

“You're gonna be okay,” He talked softly, quiet as a mouse like he was afraid to startle you.

He repeated himself over and over, followed by 'i love you', 'you're safe with me" and every other sweet thing he’d ever told you. Your cries eventually turned into quiet hiccups to unsteady breaths and eventually a quiet calm, the room filled with nothing but your breaths and the noises from the street outside.

You stayed like that, in the comfort of his arms, in silence. An hour went by, maybe more.

He looked down at you, almost falling asleep from exhaustion, your entire face red and puffy from so much crying. All the overwhelming feelings all on your own, so intensely burst like a dam. He wasn't leaving your side, music would have to wait. For as long as you needed him, he was going to be there.

"Don't sleep, jagiya. Let me make you something to eat, alright? We'll get you cleaned up and in some fresh clothes. You can sleep after that."

You shook your head.

"Yes," Yoongi told you sternly, not too harsh, but he wasn't going to let you keep doing this to yourself, not on his watch. "I will chew it for you and spit it in your mouth like a mother bird, if i have too."

You scrunched up your face in disgust, causing Yoongi to chuckle softly.

"That's what I thought."

You didn't protest when Yoongi ushered you into your room, you didn't want to hurt him. He was getting you in the bath regardless. It wasn't like he hadn't seen you naked before, definitely not under the same circumstances, but it didn't faze him then, and it won't faze him now.

He went into the bathroom and starting filling the bath, picking your favourite bathbomb and dropping it into the bath, smiling to himself as it turned purple and a light lavender scent began to fill the air. He grabbed some towels and put them in the dryer to warm up for you before coming to help you out of your clothes.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

"Always," you replied in a coarse whisper.

He was careful, gentlemanly, checking your face for any sign you were uncomfortable. You were okay until he went to help you out of your tracksuit bottoms, he watches your hands clutch tighter to the bedsheet and the faint hitch in your breath.

"I'm sorry," you tell him before nodding in permission for him to take them off.

He took one look at your thighs before looking up at you, leaning up to press a light kiss on your forehead. "Don't ever apologise for how you feel, I just wish you'd told me it was getting this bad again."

He wrapped his arm around your body, helping you toward the bathroom and helped you step into the bath. He relaxed a little when he heard you hum as you lowered into the water.

"Is it hot enough?” he asked, watching for any discomfort.

“S’good.” you hum, tracing over the bubbles with the tips of your fingers. Yoongi watched on with a little smile before he sat himself on the edge of the bath, reaching for your favourite body wash and a soft sponge, opting for the soft option rather than a loofah.

He squeezed a drop of soap onto the sponge and scrunched it together in his hands until it was covered in vanilla scented suds.

“Tell me to stop if you want me too,” he told you, leaning forward to get a look at you when you didn't reply. You nod for him to go on, even though you were miles away. He could tell by your eyes, he decided to just get on with it. He moved gently around your back, air in the bathroom filled with it's vanilla scent, mixing with the lavender. It was even making him sleepy. He watched you close your eyes beginning to relax as he continued on.

Once he had you covered in bubbles he rinsed you off with a cup he had sitting near by in the water and began washing the bubbles off. He saw your back rise and fall with a deep breath, a yawn he came to realise. He glanced at your face and your eyes in a fight to stay open as you moved your hands up to your face slowly and rubbed at your eyes for a moment before dropping your hands back into the water. Yoongi smiled. You looked adorable, if he was honest.

He was equally as gentle when washing your hair, missing some of your routine but the goal was to get your freshened up and comfortable, not Miss Universe.

“You can lay back now if you want.” Yoongi offered, you sighed and slumped in the tub, body sinking into the bubbles.

"Why do you do this for me? You're always there." You finally spoke more than one word.

"Because even if everything else was to disappear, I know you'll always be there."

"What if I'm not strong enough?"

"You are," he told you, leaning down to kiss your forehead again before he left for the kitchen to make you a quick snack, knowings it’s probably all you could stomach or be bothered to eat.

Crackers and a makeshift topping would have to do because it was all you had.

He brought everything you two would need for the night including the hot towels from the dryer to the bedroom before Yoongi helped you out of the bath, taking you into the bedroom wrapped up in the toasty towel to get you dried off and into some PJs.

“Which Pyjamas do you want?”

You pointed to him with a sweet, innocent smile.

“My top?” he chuckled. “Really?”

“Please?” and like clockwork you put on your best puppy dog eyes. Jungkook taught you well because Yoongi could never say no.

He rolled his eyes playfully and took off his shirt, pulling it over your head for you and smiled contently when he took a look at you. “You’re so adorable,” he smiled up at you before instructing you to sit between his legs with the hairbrush he had in hand.

You sat in front of him, lightly snacking away on the food he gave you when you sat down while he brushed through your hair, effortlessly putting it into two french braids. He’d watched you do it enough times and he was a quick learner, especially if it was taking up his cuddling time with you.

When you finished eating, Yoongi went to tidy up while you got yourself into bed. Half asleep when he came to join you, he switched off the light and climbed into bed with you.

Instantly cuddling into him with your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as you began to drift off to sleep.

“Can I play you a song I’ve been working on?” he asked, cuddling you in close.

Yoongi presses play on his phone as you nod.

Somebody does love but I'm thinking ‘bout you.

He watched as you drift off to sleep, running his hands through your hair, softly singing along until his eyes fell heavy and he drifted off too.

Maybe one day he’d tell you the song is for you.

Authors Note: A huge thank you to @sopebubbles /@sopebubbles-replies for encouraging me to write this fic and proof reading, it's been a long time coming for her, you have no idea! also my bestie @lifeinakpopbubble who never thought she'd see this day.

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

chapter ten: a hidden gem, my own goldmine

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 10k

warnings: NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), polite southern manners, feeling familial and self-pressure, ESTABLISHED relationship FINALLY, spanish cause joel is latino, fingering, unprotected p in v, dirty talkkk king joel miller, soft (and soft dom) joel, possessive joel, mentions of depression diagnosis and symptoms, struggling with self, discussion of co-parenting, angst, MAJOR doubt! and a slumber party! yay!

a/n: thank you as always to the bestie/cousin/sister wife/sweet, sweet gf @northernbluess for beta-reading this chapter, seriously i can't write without you so you're stuck with me. also this chapter is a little heavier in spanish then before, so if there are any corrections needed, please comment or message me! i went through multiple translations to try to find the best/most common, but things are bound to slip through the cracks.

Joel’s been catching up with some chores around the house this evening after Sarah’s gone to bed: dishes are washed and put away, counters wiped down and floors mopped. He reset the living room after he put the laundry in the dryer, settling onto the couch with a long sigh. Hands rub at his tired eyes, muscles aching for his bed but he is determined to stay up until you text him that you’re back at your friend’s house safe.

A few of your friends from college ended up with jobs in Austin, and tonight you’d all arranged to go out downtown. You had, sweetly, invited Joel to tag along but when you mentioned that the only other guys there would be boyfriends of your friends that were your age, he politely declined. Well, he used his daughter as an excuse because he didn’t want to admit that he was a little insecure about the age difference, even still.

It’s not even a large one, you’re twenty-five  and he’s thirty-three, but with a nearly ten year old kid and his own business, he’s willing to bet he’s in a much different place in life than your friends' significant others. And if there isn’t a lot of common ground, Joel knows he’s not the most social or conversational.

Resting his eyes, his head rolls back onto the couch while the TV drones on about the latest Astros game. A short buzz from his phone in his pocket peels his eyes open, yawning quietly as he fishes the device out and flips it open.

FROM: Mariposa

Cn u pcik me up pLs????

While deciphering your drunk text, another couple are delivered and he keys down to see them as he chuckles at the antics. 

I miiss u

Eveynoe is w their BFs n I wnt mine 

Plesaseeeeeee J

Before he can type a response to you, an incoming call blocks out his screen, his thumb hitting the accept button quickly and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Feelin’ alright, Mari?”

A hiccup on the other line makes him laugh quietly again, your voice coming in over the music and people in the background, “No, not alright. M’sad.”

“Why’re you sad, sweet girl?”

“Cause you’re not here. Every—everybody’s…No I didn’t want a vodka water, gross! I wanna vodka soooooda with lime…Oops, sorry J. What was I saying?” A giggle from your end pulls a smile on his face, only slightly worried at your level of intoxication.

“You were telling me why you’re sad.”

“Right! M’sad cause all my friends have got their boy—” One hiccup. “Boyfriends here. And you’re aaaallllll the way at home.” Another hiccup. “I wanna be home with you.”

“I see. Well, I don’t want you to be sad, darlin’, so m’gonna come pick you up. How’s that sound?”

He hears a gasp into the phone and your voice gets quieter, imagining you holding the phone or turning your head away to a nearby friend.

“He’s coming! Jus’ to pick me up though, we gotta get back for Sar—Sarah…Yeah, she’s so cute…Well, yeah duh, he’s a DILF…I mean, to me I guess he’d be a DIAF…‘Dad I Am Fucking’…Oh, shit!” There’s a rustling as he laughs to himself overhearing your conversation, a smug smile on his face from you bragging to your friends. “M’sorry, J, god I totally forgot I was on the phone!” You punctuate your sentence with an incredulous laugh before quieting down to hear Joel.

“That’s alright, Mari. M’gonna drop Sarah with Tommy and then come and get you, okay? Can you tell me where you are?” Joel is already standing from the couch, grabbing his keys from the entryway before making his way upstairs to get Sarah into the car.

“Ummm…One sec!” The line rustles again while he stands at the top of the stairs. “Okay, we’re at that place on 11th, Nickel City.”

“Yeah, I know where that is, sweetheart. Be there soon, okay?”

“Okay. Tha—” One last hiccup. “—nks, J.”

“Anytime, amor. Anytime.”

With Sarah dropped off at Tommy’s, Joel goes into town to pick you up. It takes another twenty minutes from Tommy’s place, finding a parking spot not too far from the bar. He slips in the door and starts to comb his eyes over the crowd, most people stepping out of his way from his intimidating frame while he weaves through the masses.

Spotting you off to the side at a high-top table, some friends he recognizes from your photos dotted around the surface as well. You’re wrapped up in a conversation with the person next to you while you sit on a stool, Joel’s eyes finally landing on the person you’re talking to. It’s another man, about his height, maybe a few inches shorter. He’s got light hair, a clean-cut look with some fancy shirt on. Clearly, the guy is flirting with you, standing closer and leaning an arm around the back of your chair. Knowing how drunk you sounded over the phone, it occurs to him that you likely don’t even realize this guy’s body language, a primal possessiveness taking over his judgment. 

He’s waited years for you. There’s no way in hell he isn’t putting on a show for this guy to send him a message.

Joel rolls his shoulders back, chest raising with the corrective posture. He saunters over to the table, politely smiling and waving as your friends must recognize him and welcome him to the group. He walks right up to the other side of your chair, placing a hand on your lower back and brushing against the skin exposed by the tank top you’re wearing.

A small gasp exhales from you with the surprise contact, turning your head and beaming when you see him. The look makes the wings of his butterfly flap faster, beating in time with his heartbeat.

“You’re here! M’so happy to see you.” He matches your smile before he is crushed in a hug, your arms around his neck. Unraveling from each other, you turn back toward the other man, before one of your other friends comes over to tell you something, pulling you away but still within arm’s length for Joel to keep his hand on you.

Joel reaches his hand out toward the man,  “Nice to meet you…”

“Colton.”

“Nice to meet you, Colton. Are you one of the college friends?”

Colton gives a weak handshake to Joel, shaking his head with a laugh, “No, actually, never met any of ‘em until tonight. Well, except Taylor. M’relatively new to town, met Taylor through work, so you know how it is. Trying to make some connections.”

Joel has to hold back his eye roll, annoyance clear on his face at the skirting around that this Colton is doing. Joel’s heard it before from Tommy — going up to a girl and using the ‘new in town’ line to get a conversation started and to hopefully get them to leave with you to ‘show you around’.

Mine. You’re mine, he repeats to himself, the jealousy pumping in his veins.

“So’re you one of the college friends? Or an Austin friend?” Colton makes polite conversation while you turn in Joel’s arm and wrap your own around his back. Tugging on his t-shirt the fingers of one of your hands slip under the material and skim across his skin. Joel clears his throat, chuckling dryly as he keeps his gaze on Colton.

“Uh, not quite. M’the boyfriend.” His head nods to his side to you, a tight, smug smile on his face as he watches the gears in Colton’s head turn.

It’s not happening for him tonight. Or ever.

“Oh shit! You must be Joel! We’ve been waiting for you. I’ve just been making sure she’s had some water and didn’t wander off before you got here. She’s been talkin’ about you all night, made me think about how many times I’ve drunkenly ranted about my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Taylor’s my girlfriend — she’s the one with blonde hair right across the table.” Colton beams down the way as Taylor makes eye contact with him, waving to the woman as she smiles back at him.

The man is a golden retriever. And Joel thought he was some douchebag trying to hook up with his girlfriend. Joel opens his mouth to apologize for his cold behavior, but before he can your head pops up from his chest, grabbing his attention. Hands at his back scratch your nails against his skin, humming contently as you press a sloppy kiss to his jaw.

Colton considers his duties relieved and goes to find his girlfriend before Joel can thank him, leaving the two of you at the end of the table. Joel pulls his chin in to look down at you, smiling softly and moving a hand to the back of your neck.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, jus’ happy you’re here. Missed you.”

Joe presses a kiss to your forehead and you hum again, swaying sleepily in his arms. “M’glad you called me, Mariposa.”

“Can we go home now please?”

“Yeah, Mari, ‘course we can. You want me to bring you to your house?” His hands move to your sides, running up and down against the fabric of your tank top. You hook your arms around his neck and shake your head, a tiny “humpf” accompanying it.

“No, home.”

“My house?”

“Yes! Home. Wanna sleep in your bed, s’comfier than mine.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I can bring you home.”

A warm stirring is felt in his chest, steadying you in your stance and keeping an arm around your waist. You say goodbye to your friends, all of them waving to you both as Joel steers you through the bar and to his truck outside.

Joel calls Tommy on the way home, his brother telling him that Sarah’s out cold and he can bring her back in the morning when she wakes up. He presses for an answer about why Joel had to drop Sarah off, but Joel ignores Tommy’s question again and hangs up.

Safely back at his house, he helps you out of the truck and inside, walking behind you on the stairs as you stumble. It’s like a baby deer learning to walk — he’s never seen you this drunk, tipsy, sure, but never at this level. A smile crosses his face as he imagines a moment like this in the future with you, maybe after a night out for the two of you or maybe even after your wedding.

Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, tripping over your feet at the landing and recovering on your own. His hand hovers at your back, ready to break your fall if it happens.

“I’m alright, m’alright. Jus’ tripped a lil’.”

To be safe, Joel holds your hips the rest of the way up and into his room, sitting you on the edge of the mattress and gathering a t-shirt from his drawers for you to wear to bed.

“No, I want the funny one that I like,” you whine, waving a hand back at his dresser. Joel shakes his head to himself, chuckling about the fact that you still have a preference for sleep attire.

He grabs the shirt you’re talking about, a worn and washed one that he got as a joke from Tommy a few years ago. He normally wears it to sleep himself, if he wears one, or around the house if he knows he won’t be going out. It’s faded black now, yellow text that reads ‘I do know it all…I just can’t remember it all at once.’

Upon finding it in his drawer last week, you laughed hysterically and made him put it on for a Polaroid. You’ve also requested it every time you’ve stayed over since. 

In front of you again, with the correct shirt, he kneels down and pats the outside of your thighs. “Can you stand for me, sweetheart?”

Using his shoulders as support, you stand on sea legs, swaying back and forth as he looks up at you. “Can I take off your skirt, darlin’?”

“Yeah, you can, cutie.” You giggle and sway wider, playing with the curls at the top of his head, turning his head to your will as he unbuttons and unzips your denim skirt. “You got some grays mixed in here, mister.”

“M’getting old, Mari. No surprises there.” He chuckles and helps you lift each foot to step out of the tube of material completely, rubbing a hand on your calf before he stands in front of you again. He’s faced with a pout, brows knit together in anger.

“You’re not getting old. You’re literally in your thirties. Not old.”

“Say that to the gray hairs then, sweetheart.”

“Gray hairs—“ Hiccup. “Mean nothing ‘sides the fact that you’re gonna be a silver fox. My silver fox.”

A content smile, closed lips, pulls the corners of your mouth up. Heavy eyelids cover your irises halfway, the sight of you so drunkenly drowsy is utterly adorable to him. Fingers grip the bottom of your tank top, kissing your forehead.

“Can I take off your shirt?”

“Take it all off, bay-beeee.” Your swaying causes you to stumble again, Joel catching you before you fall back onto the bed. Once you’re steady, your own hands slip under his shirt, running over his tummy while you press sloppy kisses into his neck. “Mm, want you so bad, J.”

“I love you, darlin’, and you know I want you all the time, but not tonight. You need to get some water and go to sleep. For a while.” A defeated sigh blows against his skin, rocking back on your heels and Joel holding your weight to bring you to stand straight again. “Arms up, baby.”

You comply without another ask, lifting your arms as if they’re heavy weights, allowing Joel to tug the material over your head. With a slight slap sound, your arms drop back against your sides. Joel takes off your bra for you and gets you into his t-shirt, giving you a small kiss. He walks you to your side of the bed, tucking you in.

“Be right back, sweet girl. Gonna get you some water and then you can go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” You sigh, nesting into the sheets and duvet. Your eyes close, soft hums filling the room as he runs downstairs, filling a glass of water and grabbing ibuprofen to leave at your bedside for the morning.

Returning to his room, he coaxed you to sit up, having you drink half the glass. He changes for bed himself, stripping down to his boxers and slipping under the covers, pulling you closer with an arm around your waist.

“G’night, Mari.”

“Mm, night, J. Thanks for coming to get me and bringing me home. Like sleeping next to you lots more than a sleepover with my friends…”

“Like sleeping next to you too, Mari. Missed you all night. M’glad you’re home now.”

“Nightie night.”

“Nightie night, sweet girl. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” He pinches your side playfully, breathing a laugh out of his nose at your yelp and squeezing you closer. With a kiss to the top of your head, he lulls you to sleep with his fingertips running up and down your spine, thoughts going right back to those flash images of a future with you.

“Love you, Mariposa.”

There’s an ache all over your body, eyes too sore and crusted over with sleep to peel open when you first wake up. Light peeks through the curtains, shining onto the bed and directly at your face, making you groan into the pillow and attempt to roll over.

Unfortunately, your body is telling you to get up, find water or pain meds or some coffee, you really wouldn’t be all too picky at this moment. Rolling over onto your back, you reach out to your side and feel bedding underneath your hand, pouting to yourself when you finally open your eyes and see Joel’s gone. As you sit up, you can hear the shower turn on in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and you can hear some quiet humming from the other side of the door. A smile crosses your face, the idea of a shower nestling itself in your mind and feeling like it would be the only thing to get rid of all of this hangover.

On the nightstand next to you, there are two burgundy-colored tablets and a half glass of water, vaguely remembering last night when Joel made you drink the other half before going to sleep. Washing down the ibuprofen with the entirety of the water, you start to recount what you can recall from the night before, cringing internally when you get to the point that Joel showed up to pick you up. You don’t really remember getting home, but looking down at the t-shirt you’re wearing clues you in that Joel must have done most of the work to get you into bed.

Slipping out from under the duvet, you set the empty glass back down and slink over to the bathroom, twisting the knob and opening the door. The squeak of the hinges breaks your sneaking attempt and Joel’s humming stops.

He speaks up over the sound of the water, “Mariposa? That you?”

“I sure hope no one else would be sneaking into the bathroom this morning. Unless you have another drunk girlfriend you had to pick up from the bar,” you laugh at the self-deprecating joke, picking up your toothbrush and squeezing out a dollop of toothpaste to clean your teeth. And to get rid of the taste of tequila lingering on your tongue.

The shower curtain slides back a bit and Joel’s head sticks out, goofy grin on his face with curls hanging on his forehead. “Nah, just got the one. How’re feeling this morning?”

“Like I got beat up by a bunch of vodka sodas and a couple of tequila shots.” Your words are muffled around the foamy toothpaste, leaning back against the counter facing him.

“Yeah, you were pretty drunk, darlin’. But it was honestly cute, you’re a funny drunk.”

Turning back toward the sink, you fold over the sink to spit out and rinse your mouth out, groaning softly, “God, please tell me I didn’t do or say anything embarrassing.”

“Nothin’ too bad, but there were some things that I will be committing to memory,” Joel laughs and winks, the noise getting louder as you groan again and roll your head back.

“This is the worst part about getting drunk. People holding stupid shit you said over your head.” Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you look at Joel across the few feet separating you and watch him shake his head and grin sweetly.

“I’ll tell you what you said, sweetheart, but I think you’re in too physically fragile of a state right now.”

“God, you are right about that,” you sigh and shake your head, propping yourself off the counter you were leaning on, crossing the tiles to be only a foot from Joel’s face, “Can I join you? A shower sounds like exactly what I need right now.”

He nods quickly, halfway through the question and you chuckle at the antics, pulling the t-shirt over your head and slipping off your panties to leave both in a heap with Joel’s clothes. He opens the curtain for you and steps back toward the other wall while you close the curtain and drag yourself under the stream of water.

A sigh relaxes your chest and shoulders, closing your eyes as you let the warm water run all over you. Joel’s hands brush across your skin, the feeling of his work-worn palms sending a tingle of excitement down your skin and chilling your body even under the hot water. His thumbs cup under your breasts while the rest of his fingers splay out on your ribcage, tips of them toward your back as he holds you closer to him.

“Mm, you’re so beautiful, d’you know that, mi Mariposa? La mujer más hermosa del mundo (The most beautiful woman in the world),” Joel mumbles against your skin when he nestles into the crook of your neck, curving his back to fit with you perfectly. His hands wander from your ribs, circling around your back and drifting down to the swell of your ass where they settle with a gentle squeeze.

“I think I’m getting better at Spanish 'cause I understood that. And it was very sweet, thank you, J. I think you’re the most beautiful man in the world.” You giggle and feel Joel exhale a chuckle against your neck, peppering slow and spaced kisses along your shoulder.

“You also told me something else about what you think of me last night. Well, it was to one of your friends but you were still on the phone with me so I heard,” he stretches to full height again with a smug smirk, squeezing your ass again as you sigh.

“Oh god, what did I say to you? Did I feed your massive ego?” you tease, bringing your hands up to his shoulders and lightly scratching your nails against his skin.

“I learned that I am a DILF last night. Or according to you, I am a DIAF to you. Dad I Am Fucking.” He can barely get the last sentence out around his loud laugh, your embarrassed reaction of wide eyes and jaw dropped egging him on more.

“Stop, I cannot believe I said that. And that you heard! You’re never going to let me live that down.”

“Not a chance, sweetheart. Not a chance,” Joel can’t wipe the giggly smile off of his face as he continues, “Oh, and you also were definitely really into me getting you into pajamas last night. I asked if I could take off your shirt and you said ‘Take it all off bay-beeee’. Which was very tempting.”

“Oh my god, if you don’t stop telling me all of this right now, I won’t take anything off for you again.” It’s a thinly veiled threat, both of you know it holds zero weight.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you,” you breathe out as you turn toward the shelf in the shower, reaching for the body wash before Joel intercepts your hand, holding it in his and lowering it to your side. He presses his chest to your back, the contact also nudging his hard cock into the flesh of your ass.

“Y’know, I woke up this morning after you were all over me last night with a fucking hard on. Aching for you. And then you come in here and ask to join me in the shower, made it come right back…” he leans down, kissing your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear, “D’you still want me, Mariposa? Hm?”

One of his hands drifts to your inner thighs, coaxing your legs apart and swiping two fingers from your entrance to your clit. Your arousal coats his fingers, a quiet whimper leaving your lips in an exhale, eyes closing and head rolling back against his shoulder.

“You still want me, mi dulzura? Feels like you do,” his lips are against your ear, voice low and gravelly, and he slowly circles your clit as you continue to whimper and writhe in his arms, “Sounds like you do, too, mi amor. Y’know, we have the whole house to ourselves, Mariposa. I want you to be loud for me while I touch you. Understand?”

Lost in the sparks of pleasure slowly building, your words get caught in your throat as one of your arms reaches up to wrap around to the nape of his neck. At the lack of response to his question, Joel pinches your clit before pulling his hand away.

“No, no, no, please. I understand. I’ll be loud for you, J. Please touch me…”

You grip the curls at the back of his head, biting your lip and opening your eyes again to look at Joel’s head at your side. His hand comes back, his thumb rubbing your clit while his middle finger sinks into you until the first knuckle. He keeps his eyes on your face, slowly working the finger in and out of your cunt, never giving it to you fully.

“Fuck, don’t tease me, Joel. Please, pretty please, gimme more.”

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest, his nose nudging at your cheek to turn your head straight toward the tiled wall, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

“You want more, Mariposa?”

“Pleasepleaseplease.”

“Mm, and are you going to be good? Give me all your pretty sounds that I love?” Joel pushes his entire middle finger into you now, holding it there, “If I give you what you want, you gotta be loud for me, pretty girl.”

“I will, I promise.” You wiggle your hips to get any more friction building, grumbling in frustration when Joel’s other arm tugs your hips back against him, strapping you to him like a seatbelt. The thumb against your clit leaves, and as you’re about to complain again, Joel adds another finger and starts to thrust them in and out frenetically, the heel of his palm rubbing the sensitive bud at the front of your folds.

A sinful moan rolls from your gut, bouncing off of the walls of the shower and drowning out the sound of the water for a few seconds. You can feel Joel’s satisfied smirk against your skin, his mouth dipping to the crook of your neck to suck at your pulse point and leave his mark. His hand continues its rapid pace, your legs bending as they start to give out the closer you reach to the edge. To attempt to hold your weight, you lean your arms against the tiles, feeling yourself being held up by Joel’s arm tightened across your hips.

“Fuck, Joel, feels so fucking good. Oh!” Your voice pitches up when his fingers graze that spot inside your walls, the sound catching in your throat. Joel pushes deeper with his fingers, hooking them to find that same spot and petting against it with small strokes of his fingers. The sounds coming from you are uncontrollable, head falling back against his shoulder as a mess of his name, lustful whimpers and whines, and wanton moans echo in the steaming shower.

“That’s it, pretty girl, I can feel how close you are. Nearly squeezing my fingers out of ya.” Joel’s small groan vibrates against your shoulder, his hard-on being pressed into your back and leaking pre-cum. You can feel yourself clench around his fingers, the edges of your vision blurring as you near your peak. “Gonna come for me, Mari? Gonna be a good girl and come all over my hand so you can be ready for my cock?”

His words are the final push, pleasure oozing around his fingers and dripping down your folds, warmth spreading in your body as your nerve endings tingle. You can hear yourself moaning his name, small encouragements spoken in your ear as Joel continues to fuck his fingers into you throughout your orgasm. When you’re fully present in your body again, Joel slips his fingers out of you slowly, turning your head and kissing you deeply.

“Need you so fucking bad, Mariposa,” he says against your lips, kissing you fervently before speaking again, “Wanna bend you over and make you take my cock, and you’ll tell me how good it feels filling you up. You want it, pretty girl?”

“Need it, J. Please, I need you so bad.” You kiss him this time, pressing your hips back and grinding against his cock, the rumble of a mouth muffled into your mouth as your tongues meld together. Joel pulls away and grips your hips, turning both of you so his back is facing the stream of water.

“Hands against the wall, amor, arch your back for me—” You follow his instructions with one of his large hands skimming along your spine, folded to an angle at your hips. “That’s it, baby. So good for me.”

Joel takes his cock in his hands, teasing his tip at your entrance and earning a whine from you. A dark laugh is heard faintly from behind you, an equally quiet sigh of relief when he gives you just the tip.

“Mm, fuck, Mari. Estás tan apretado, y húmedo, y cálido. Nunca me voy a cansar de este coño. (You’re so tight, and wet, and warm. I’m never going to get tired of this pussy.)” 

Before you can formulate any sort of response, despite not fully knowing what he said, Joel gives you a few more inches of his cock, stuttering out a moan from you before his hips set a rough, desperate pace. Grunts and groans, moans and whimpers fill the bathroom, your names exchanged back and forth as he fucks you from behind. His hands hold tightly onto your hips, digging in to surely form bruises to match the hickey at your collar, and to keep you from being rammed into the wall with how hard his thrusts are.

“More, fuck, gimme all of it, J. Want you to fill me up, make it hard to fucking walk straight.”

There’s a vibrating rumble that resonates in your own chest, Joel completely pulling out on the downstroke and heaving his chest up and down with shallow breaths.

“Fucking dirty girl. Mi chica sucia. Filthy, baby.” He runs his fingers down the line of your spine, still arched for him. You feel him lined up at your entrance again, whimpering for him and pressing your hips back to try to get him inside. Joel chuckles, shaking his head, “Mm, can’t get enough of my cock, can you, sweetheart? Greedy little thing.”

Your jaw drops open with a toe-curling moan, Joel’s hips thrusting his throbbing cock into your waiting cunt to fill you completely, the same rough and hard pace set as he makes you knock forward and brace against the wall with every movement.

“Take it, darlin’. Oh, fuck, aguantarla. Puedes aguantarla, mi dulzura. (Oh, fuck, take it. You can take it, my sweetness.)” Joel’s head rolls back with another guttural moan, tilting forward to watch his cock disappearing into your dripping hole. “Fuck, such a pretty pussy. And it’s all fucking mine, isn’t that right, Mariposa?”

“Y-Yes! Fuck yeah, it’s all yours, J. No one could ever fuck me like you,” you glance over your shoulder and he makes eye contact, a wide, knowing smile on his face. Your cunt clenches around his cock, his brutal pace hurtling you toward the edge. Just as you’re about to ask for that little bit more, he reads your mind and slips one of his hands around your front, errantly rubbing circles in your clit.

“Can feel you around me, Mari, know you’re close. You gonna let me fill you up with my come? Gonna milk my cock with your tight pussy?”

All you can do is nod, eyes shutting tightly as moans squeak out of you. One hand reaches back to grip his wrist as he keeps you right there at the edge.

“Say it, baby. Say it back to me and I’ll let you come. Give you just what you need.”

A deep breath brings enough air into your lungs to rasp out, “Please fill me up, Joel. Wanna milk your cock of everything you can give me, want you to be dripping out of me all day. Remind me of how only you can have my pussy.”

“Fuck yeah, that’s right, sweetheart. Such a good girl.” Joel eyes that you have a hand bracing you still, letting go of your hip as he fucks you, rubbing your clit continuously. He reaches his free hand around to your mouth, prodding his thumb at your lips and humming when you take it into your mouth and suck. After a minute, he pops out his saliva covered digit and brings it back to your body, pushing into the tight ring of muscle facing him. The sensation of stimulation at all three places barrels you to your high, pussy gripping his cock as everything tenses and pleasure rocks your body and clears your mind.

With the tightness felt in both holes around him, Joel takes one, two, three more thirsts before he’s spilling into you, ropes of come coating your walls and lazy jerks of his hips fucking it deeper into you.

After a moment, Joel pulls out of you slowly, gathering all that dribbles out of you and pushing it back inside with his fingers, causing a shudder down your spine.

The two of you come down from your peaks, the water running cold now. Still needing to clean yourselves, Joel washes your body while you shampoo and condition his hair as he folds over to gently exfoliate your legs. The tasks get swapped, Joel washing your hair while you wash his body.

Stepping out, he grabs a towel for you, wrapping it around you tightly and giving you a sweet, chaste kiss. He gets another towel for himself, both of you drying off and heading back into his bedroom to get dressed again.

You sit on the edge of his bed in your clothes from last night, one of his shirts pulled over your tank top and tucked into your skirt. As you comb your fingers over your wet hair, you look at Joel as he pulls on a pair of jeans standing next to his closet.

“Hey, I have a question for you, actually.”

“Shoot, darlin’.”

“Am I remembering correctly that last night when you came to the bar, you were acting a little jealous toward Colton? Did you think he was flirting with me or something and you got all possessive?” you giggle quietly.

Joel blushes and shakes his head with an overexaggerated eye roll. “Pffft, no. Don’t remember it happening like that, probably a bit clouded in your memory.”

Laughing more, you stand up and cross over to him, hands splayed on his soft tummy and head tilted away from him.

“Oh, sure. Sure, J, we’ll go with that if it makes you feel better.” Reaching up you give his cheek a gentle pat and wink at him, giggling faintly before he gathers you up in his arms and gives you a kiss.

“Good, 'cause it does make me feel better. ‘Sides can you blame me for getting a little jealous? We’ve waited like three years to get this right with each other, m’not letting it go.”

“Me neither, which is why you don’t ever have to be jealous cause it’s only you, baby.” You send him a wink and a grin, giving him a kiss before you both hear the front door open, Tommy’s voice echoing upstairs as he calls out for Joel. He looks down at you, biting his lip.

“I didn’t think he’d be bringing Sarah home this early. Uh, d’you mind that he’s here or should I jus’ say…” he trails off awkwardly, waiting for your thoughts on how to broach the fact that you’re over here, in Joel’s shirt and clearly have stayed the night with your wet hair from the shower.

“If you’re fine with him knowing, we can tell him. That is if Sarah hasn’t spilled the beans already.” Joel laughs faintly and nods, running his hands up and down your arms.

“That is highly possible. But guess we’ll have to find out when we head downstairs. And I’m apologizing now for any stupid shit my brother says.”

“You act like I don’t know Tommy already.”

“You don’t know Tommy as my girlfriend. He’s going to give you some shit, and he’s going to give a lot to me for keeping it from him.”

“Think I can survive Tommy Miller. Now, c’mon, get a shirt on, and let’s go. I need some coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joel descendsed the stairs ahead of you, rounding the corner into the kitchen and greeting his brother as Tommy pours himself a cup of coffee. Sarah is already at the table, cereal bowl in front her as she eats and reads her book. Joel grabs two mugs from the cabinet, earning a confused look from Tommy before you walk into the room, the confusion melting into mischief. His brother nudges at Joel’s arm and winks.

“Ah, así que esta es la razón de su aventura nocturna en la ciudad. Puedo ver por qué estabas tan desesperada por mi ayuda. (Oh, so this is the reason for your late-night adventure into the city. I can see why you were so desperate for my help.)”

Joel’s eyes roll into the back of his head, “Cállate, Tommy. Necesitaba que la llevaran a casa, así que le di una. (Shut up, Tommy. She needed a ride home, so I gave her one.)”

“Claro, claro. Un paseo. (Sure, sure. A ride.)”

“Pendejo de mierda (Fucking dumbass).”

“¿Qué? No estoy diciendo que haya algo malo en ello. Estoy feliz de ver a su hijo si significa que usted consigue algunos. Finalmente. (What? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. I am happy to watch your child if it means you getting some. Finally.)” He laughs when Joel glares at him, Tommy crossing over to the table and covering Sarah’s ears. “Además, ella está jodidamente caliente. No sé lo que ve en un viejo como tú. (Plus, she’s fucking hot. Don’t know what she sees in an old man like you.)���

“Yo tampoco. Y deja de hablar de ella así. (I don’t either. And stop talking about her like that.)” Joel’s voice grits out the last sentence, his short fuse being tested with Tommy’s teasing this morning.

“No, realmente, ella es casi diez años más joven y podría conseguir a quien quisiera, pero ¿eres tú? Mejor empieza a apostar por los caballos, hermano. (No, really, she’s almost ten years younger and could get anybody she wanted, but it’s you? Better start betting on the horses, brother.)” His younger brother comes back to stand next to him, picking up his mug and taking a sip.

“Déjalo. (Quit it.)” Joel sends him another glare, grabbing the milk out of the fridge to add some to your cup.

“Maldita sea, tal vez tengo que contratar a una niñera para Sarah cuando está en mi casa. O tal vez la contrate yo mismo. (Damn, maybe I gotta hire a nanny for Sarah when she’s at my house. Or maybe I’ll hire her myself.)”

When Joel looks back at Tommy, he sees him eyeing you as you talk to Sarah at the table, smacking him upside the back of his head.

“Tommy, si no te callas la mierda ahora mismo, lo juro por Dios. (Tommy, if you don’t shut the fuck right now, I swear to god.)”

“Qué? Ella tu novia ahora? (What? She your girlfriend now?)” The young Miller questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Sí, lo es. Así que deja de hablar de lo caliente que es mi novia. (Yeah, she is. So stop talking about how hot my girlfriend is.)” Joel states matter-of-factly, shutting the fridge after returning the jug of milk.

“I understood some of that actually,” you say with a proud smile on your face, one of eager mischief on Tommy’s across the room.

Joel whips his head to you, wide eyes, “What did you understand?”

“You called him an asshole. Something about Sarah. The word girlfriend was thrown in there.”

Joel sighs quietly in relief, picking up your prepared mug of coffee.

“Oh, and something about you being old. And that your brother thinks I’m hot. ” Tommy sputters on his drink as he starts to laugh loudly, a deep blush warming Joel’s cheeks. You walk over to him and take the mug out of his hand, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Cause you’re not old and Tommy just wishes he wasn’t single at thirty years old.”

Joel laughs and Tommy waves your comment off, rolling his eyes before winking at you, “Oh please, you wish you found me before this old man.”

“Sure, Tommy. You can think that all you want, but I met you both on the same day.” Joel barks out a laugh, a smug grin on his face from you holding your own toward Tommy.

Joel looks at his brother, a smile growing on Tommy’s face, “Well, maybe you needed to get your eyes checked that day, Posey. Cause you’d have to be blind to not pick me over the decrepit ass.”

“Y’know, I’m happy to set you up with one of my friends. She likes the type of cute guys who think they’re funny.”

“I know I’m funny, Posey, so not sure if it’s gonna work out. But yes, I would like to be set up with this friend of yours, please…” You laugh and nod, sipping your coffee before answering.

“I’ll work some magic for ya, Tommy.”

“I like this one, Joel, better keep her around so she can be my wingman.”

“You say ‘this one’ as if there have been others,” Joel rolls his eyes and continues, “And I certainly don’t need your advice on that front Tommy. She’s got me as long as she wants me, but please dear god, you should not be his wingwoman. Don’t subject yourself to that torture, Mari.”

The three of you chat to catch up, Tommy genuinely asking about your time in Boston and telling you how glad he is that you’re back around to make his people happy again. The comment swells your heart before your attention is pulled to Sarah as she asks about having a sleepover with you.

“I would love to throw a sleepover with you, sweet pea. I’ll bring over all the goodies to your house and we can stay in your room and watch movies and paint our nails and do all the fun girly things.”

“Yes! And Daddy and Uncle Tommy aren’t allowed ‘cause no boys.” She points at the two of them, both of them frowning and sighing.

“Can I at least be at home, mija?” Joel jokes, and the three of you laugh as Sarah seriously considers her answer.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but you gotta leave us to do the sleepover things ourselves.”

“Deal, Bug. I can do that.”

“Oh yes! It’s all decided then, we’ll have a sleepover when your week at camp is over.” You clap your hands together and grin, already planning everything you need to do this week to prepare for it.

“Damn, Mari, you brought a lot of stuff for one night with Sarah.” Joel eyes you from head to toe, a duffle on your arm, and shopping bags in your hands. He takes the plastic bags from you, holding the back door open for you before following you over to the island to set down all of your purchases. “You do know it’s only Sarah, right, darlin’? None of her friends are coming. This is a practice run for a sleepover.”

“I know, but I wanted to make the first girly sleepover she has at her house fun. I loved having my friends stay over when I was younger, and I dunno, you’re a boy so you don’t get it.” Rustling around in the bags, you start to pull out snacks and candy, along with fun new nail polishes and nail stickers, new hair clips, some young-girl-friendly makeup, and new pajamas for Sarah and you.

“Sweetheart, this is all really nice, but let me give you some money for it all. This is a ton of stuff.” Joel glances at the counter covered in supplies, and before you can answer he’s walking to the front door to get his wallet from the entryway table.

You call out after him, “I’m not going to take it so don’t bother trying! It wasn’t even that much anyway.”

Popping back around the corner into the kitchen, cash in hand, he shakes his head with a mocking laugh, “You’re funny. Even if it was five dollars, I’m giving you ten. Now please take the cash.”

Joel stops in front of you, hand out with a hundred in his hand. A dry laugh leaves your chest, pushing his hand away as you continue to sort through everything from the shops, “Not happening. This was way less than a hundred dollars too, so definitely not accepting that. Go put it back in your wallet, Miller.”

“You’re so goddam stubborn sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah, and you’re not?”

“Hey, I didn’t say that. I know I’m stubborn, that’s why this argument is happening. And why I am about to do this.” Joel steps behind you, slipping the bill into the back pocket of your shorts. You groan, fishing it out and shoving it back in his hand, pushing at his chest.

Joel rebuttals with another attempt, stepping toward you but you step back, backing around to the other side of the counter as he follows closely. You hold your arms out to keep space between the two of you, not being able to hold back a laugh as you start to pick up the pace in your cyclical chase.

“Joel! I’m not taking your damn money, leave it!”

“Mariposa, please, we both know I am way more stubborn than you and m’not gonna stop unless you take it.”

Shaking your head, you turn around to actually move into a speedwalk-jog kind of walk around the kitchen, serpentining your steps.

“Darlin’, I can still catch you if you walk like that.”

“Well, I’d like to see you try.”

Joel takes that statement as a challenge, suddenly catching up with you and wrapping his arms to your front, slipping the bill in the waistband of your shorts before letting you go, putting his hands up in the air.

Wordlessly, you snatch the money from your bottoms, throw it on the counter, and go back to the pile of purchases on the counter. After all of that, you start to unload the drinks in the fridge and open the pantry to throw the sweets and other snacks on one of the shelves. Joel stands and watches you, eyes going back and forth between following your movements to all of the things lying out, including the money.

A feeling kicks up in your chest, tightening your insides with a wring. Small moments send you back to feelings like these, unsupported by actual occurrences but your brain doesn’t care about what actually happens; it prefers the what-ifs. What if this doesn’t last, what if you’re too young, what if you’re too anxious, too broken, too much and it all comes crumbling from under you before you fully realize it? What if this is one of those moments you look back on as a sign? It’s taut and consuming, begging you to say something about it to release the corkscrew.

“If this is too much or if I’m overstepping a — I don’t know — a parental boundary 'cause she’s not my kid, and I know that, of course, but I wanted to do this for Sarah. M’not the nanny that you have to reimburse anymore, I just thought it would be fun to make it like how my sleepovers used to be as a kid…”

Joel’s brows stitch together with what looks like confusion or concern, rounding the kitchen island and standing next to you. A hand on your hip closest to him presses into the flesh there, turning you toward him as the other hand reaches up to tilt your chin to him. Your eyes avoid his, embarrassment heating your body with licks of flames.

“Can you look at me? Please?” His voice is unwavering but shy, boyish. You answer with a flick of up, meeting his own stare. “Mari, sweetheart, this isn’t about anything like that. I know you aren’t ‘the nanny’ anymore, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think you were ever just ‘the nanny’ to either of us. I was being pigheaded, and I didn’t want you to take on doin’ all of this yourself. It’s jus’ automatic for me to want to cover for Sarah, with any sort of activity. Not that I don’t want you to do all of this. I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me that you care so much for Sarah. I’m just, I’m being her dad. And not giving you the means to do things for her yourself. M’sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, J. I should have better explained myself from the beginning. I want to be a part of your lives, I want to….I don’t know, I don’t want to take the place of her mom, obviously, but I want to be someone she can do girly things with if we’re gonna be together for a while—”

“Not if, Mari. I don’t plan on letting you go without a serious fight,” Joel’s thumb brushes against your cheek as he holds your gaze, “I am so grateful and so relieved that Sarah has someone like you in her life. ‘Specially right now with everything around her mom leavin’, you’re exactly what she needs. What we both need…I will take the money back. But next time we’re splitting it, and every time after that ‘til it’s time that it’s coming outta a joint account.”

When Sarah arrives home from her playdate, Joel retreats upstairs after ordering pizza for the two of you (and him, because he claimed he was gonna sneak down) to watch something on the small tv in his bedroom. You and Sarah changed into your new pajamas and got all of the snacks moved into the living room, trekking blankets and pillows and stuffed animals from her room and around the house to build a nest on the floor in front of the couch.

Sarah had chosen The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants out of the stack of movies you had rented, popping it in and sitting back with you while you had her pick out a color for her nails. The two of you talked about camp and the past school year, her confessing a crush she has on a boy in her camp group this year. There’s only a few details you get from her as you paint her nails, giggling with her when she gets shy and telling her about your first crush.

Sarah eventually is the one to paint your nails, turning out a bit messy and abstract during the process but nonetheless it was fun. As she’s finishing up a second coat on the last nail of yours, the doorbell rings for the pizza and Joel jogs downstairs a minute later to answer the door. Carrying the boxes over to the kitchen after he paid and tipped, he grins at you and nods to the set up.

“Is that every pillow in our house?”

“Well, no, you still have the ones on your bed cause you were sitting on ‘em,” you reply as you walk into the kitchen behind Sarah, fingers splayed apart, careful not to smudge. The younger Miller does the same, looking up at Joel when she stands next to the pizza box.

“Daddy, can you get the slices for me? I don’t want to mess up my nails that Posey painted for me. Look at them! They’re so pretty!” She raises her arms up to give Joel a look, his hand taking one of hers and inspecting it.

“Gosh, Bug, these are just gorgeous. Mari did a great job,” he grins at you, giving you a wink at the same time an idea pops into yours.

“I could do your nails, J. They could match Sarah’s!” Your suggestion is immediately supported by his daughter, her small stature jumping up and down in front of him.

“Yes, yes! You need to get your nails painted, Daddy!”

“Wasn’t this sleepover ‘no boys allowed’?” he arches a brow before he grabs a piece of pizza, plopping it on a plate for Sarah to take into the other room, “If I can stay for longer than it takes to paint my nails and hang out and eat your snacks, you can absolutely paint my nails.”

Sarah takes her plate from her dad, grinning ear-to-ear as she retreats back to the blanket nest. Joel makes a plate for you, carrying it out with his own and setting them on the coffee table. With a groan, he lowers himself to the ground, leaning his back against the couch and holding out his hands to you.

“Go for it, sweetheart.”

“D’you want the same thing as Sarah or something different?”

“Hmm, what d’you think, mija? Should we match?”

“I think you should give Daddy the color I gave you, Posey. It’s so pretty!” she leans back against you, using you as a backrest while she eats her pizza carefully with her wet nails, engrossed in the movie.

“Alright, guess it’s decided then. We’ll be matching,” you smile at him, taking one hand in yours to pull it closer, relaxing it against your thigh as you open the polish bottle. Concentrating on the tasks at hand, Joel wiggles his fingers when you aren’t in the midst of painting to get your attention, holding up a piece of pizza near your face.

“Eat, darlin’. Gotta fuel your artistic brain,” he winks and smiles sweetly at you, earning a quiet laugh before you lean in and take a bite chewing as you go back to painting. You switch hands after a few more bites, giving him a break to eat his own pizza and you yours while the three of you watch the movie. Once your job is done, you close the bottle tight and set it on the table, getting Sarah’s attention to look at it.

“How’d I do, Sare-Bear? Does your dad look pretty?” Her giggles pull some from all of you, nodding and clapping her hands together.

“Daddy, you need some of my pretty stickers and then Posey needs to take a picture with her camera.” Sarah stands and moves over to the pile of beauty supplies, grabbing the pack of nail stickers you bought and picking out a sheet. She sits next to Joel, stickering around his face as he closes his eyes and lets it all happen.

“Is this what happens all the time at girl sleepovers?” He peeks an eye open at you, getting a wide smile and shrug.

“Guess we’ll have to have some more for you to really find out.” Sarah steps back from her handiwork, and you pick up the Polaroid camera, lining up the shot from the side of Joel where there’s multiple star stickers clustered around his eyes. The shutter snaps when he looks at you, spitting out the image. You hand it to Sarah to watch it develop, showing you both quickly before going to hang it on the fridge along with a few other of your shots. You snap another of him looking at you directly, soft rounded eyes filled with affection.

Once you set the camera down, holding onto that photo for yourself, his hands find your thighs, running over the soft cotton of your PJ pants.

“Thank you for doin’ this for her, she hasn’t been this happy and giggly since before you left last summer.” Joel leans in, giving you a gentle, lingering kiss. “I love you. So, so much, Mari.”

Instead of answering, you give him another kiss before Sarah walks back in, settling between the two of you on the floor nest, cuddling up within your little unit of three to finish out the movie.

A few nights after your slumber party, you sneak over to Joel’s again before bed, using the key to the back door that he had made for you. He’s sitting on the couch, a line of sight to the door and a sleepy smile tugging at his lips when he sees you.

Padding your feet across the floors, you climb onto the couch next to him and curl your legs under you while you lean into his side. His arm wraps you up and his lips press against your forehead with a content sigh.

“Hi, Mari.”

“Hey, J.”

“How was your day, darlin’?” he asks as he turns off the TV, fingers ghosting up and down your bicep.

“Good, it was good. Babysat for the O’Connors today with the little baby. She’s so adorable, just a day full of baby giggles.” You grin and Joel smiles back at you, nodding along, “And then after that I drove to therapy and had that for an hour and then went home and waited to come see you.”

“M’very glad you’re here. Can’t sleep without you anymore,” he kisses your temple, “How was therapy, amor?”

“Today was a little hard. Talked more about maybe looking into medicine cause I feel like it isn’t fully there yet. But I do feel like I am happy. Like in my heart. My brain just can't keep up. Still have a lack of interest in things and not a lot of energy like I used to.”

Joel hums an acknowledgment, looking down at you on his shoulder, “M’here if you need to talk about anything, sweet girl.”

“I know. Thank you,” you give him a chaste kiss, smiling drowsily, “How was your day?”

“Pretty alright. Had to go fill in for someone who called in sick today at a job site so I’m exhausted from all the lifting and using machinery. But the framing is all done which means there’s something that looks like a house standing on the lot,” Joel chuckles softly and glances out the front window, “And then, uh, ran into your mom when I got home. She must’ve been running out for something but she stopped to talk and invited me and Sarah and Tommy to celebrate the Fourth with y’all.”

You sit up, grinning excitedly, “Really? Oh my gosh, that will be so fun. Our first official holiday together. Even though it’s just the Fourth of July. Kind of lame.”

Joel chuckles along with you, nodding his head and avoiding your eyes, “I mean, I told her yes ‘cause I didn’t think you’d mind. But the more I got to thinkin’, I guess, I just—I think I need some more time before we tell your parents about us.”

Your face falls before you can hide it, Joel’s hand immediately reaching to cup your cheek delicately, “M’sorry, sweet girl. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do it at a family event and maybe it might be best if we can sit them down sometime to talk about it all.”

A slow nod keeps you quiet, in your thoughts, rambling out an agreement as you bring your eyes to Joel’s again, “Yeah, yeah, I understand. I agree. Would be best to wait a little while longer.”

“Thank you, darlin’. M’so glad you agree. We’ll find the right time, eventually,” Joel gives you a tender kiss, lingering against your lips for a few more dopey exchanges. He pulls away, standing up and gathering you up with him, leading you to his bedroom and getting into bed with you, “Night, Mariposa. Love you.”

“Night, J,” you reply meekly, the small sound of your voice easily brushed off as fatigue. Joel keeps you close, spooning you with his front against your chest, falling asleep behind you quickly. You can’t rest, especially after that short and decided conversation.

Why did you agree so easily? And why was he even asking for more time? His daughter knows, his brother knows, your friends know. What’s any different about your family? Is he afraid that if he breaks your heart he’ll have to move? But why would he even think about that possibility when all he’s told you is how much he loves you, how he’ll be yours until you want nothing to do with him anymore?

Every reassurance that he’s given you is flooding your mind, those doubts and fears worming their way into the sweet memories and poisoning them with twisted words.

Every time he’s said he loves you, does he mean it? Or is he only saying it to say it, to placate your anxieties about the future of you two by committing in a way?

Is this push back about telling your family a response to you not being ready to say ‘I love you’ back? Is he getting fed up with waiting for it?

Are you too much too quickly? Weaving yourself too tightly into his life and his daughter’s life? Is he going to start to drift, to put off telling your parents until he can end it?

These thoughts cycle in an endless loop, keeping you up while Joel sleeps soundly beside you. Nausea stirs in your stomach, rapid heart beating from the spiraling of your mind keeping you wide awake until the early hours of the morning.

The only way you can manage to fall asleep is turning in Joel’s arms, cuddling into his chest and breathing in his scent to halt the carousel of negativity in your brain long enough for his even breaths to lull you to sleep.

One last question flashes to you before you’re finally asleep:

 What happens when Summer ends?

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @beee-haw @jenna-mcgraw19 @whore-4-pedro @katifefe @joelmillerswifu @itsgiorgiaz @soph55 @wild-hearts-runfree @youcancallmeelle @jupitre @starkovli @thatgeminigirlx @livingdeadmaria @bunnyskisses @houseofballoonsth @casual-obsessions @pedro-pascal-lvr @bimbodolls-world @burningnerdchild @tuquoquebrute @mrsvedder12 @estelivi28 @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholicx @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissaaa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost

[isaaaxqii]

overthinking ₊˚ପ⊹ - gojo

summary : seeing gojo start to act differently, you go over to help him sort out his thoughts.

** : sfw, angst, fluff, jjk 0 spoilers !!

took me awhile to think of this😭😭 but my thoughts are also finally sorted out 🙏🙏 also idk if gojo still stays at a dorm in jj high during his teaching days but let’s just say he does lol

< 1.47pm >

as you walked through the hallways of jujutsu high, looking outside every window that you passed, you noticed gojo training with the 1st years out on the field. he had his usual smile on his face, teasing his students in any way he can, but most importantly helping them when they need it. however, you can’t help but feel like there’s something off about him.

it was just a few days after the death of geto suguru, and you could tell gojo was spiralling. though he was with geto during his last moments, he couldn’t come to accept his death. nevertheless, he tried to put on a smile on his face, being his usual silly and cheerful self.

therefore, nobody could tell that his mental health was getting worse. however, you were able to read him like a book, knowing what he’s feeling especially after significant events like this. you knew that he didn’t want to worry anyone with his feelings, and rather deal with them on his own.

despite that, you still had to check on him.

you knocked on his door, holding a thermos filled with soup in it, hoping it would make him feel better. you were met with a red eyed, disheveled gojo at the front door.

“may i come in?” you asked, before he steps out of the way to let you in.

his dorm looked messier than usual. believe it or not, his dorm was never this messy. he still tries to put in the effort in maintaining his dorm’s state of cleanliness, but with what you were witnessing you could tell something was very wrong.

you put down the thermos on the counter before following him into his room, sitting on his bed with him. there was silence between the two of you, not an awkward one, but rather a comforting silence. gojo seemed to have figured that you knew what was happening to him, and he couldn’t help but appreciate someone’s presence beside him during this period of time. that presence itself comforts him a lot.

“mind sharing what’s on your mind? gojo.” you spoke softly, slowly intertwining your fingers with his. he plays with your fingers gently as he figures out his thoughts.

where should he start? should he start from the time when he was beside geto, geto’s life draining slowly from his body as he says his last words, or should he start from the period after his death, when he starts to realise and blame himself for not noticing geto’s depression which had led him to turn into what he was.

he didn’t know how to explain his sorrow. all he could do was let the tears fall as he grips your shirt tightly, head resting on your shoulders. you placed one hand his back, rubbing small circles on it while your other played with his hair. he loves it when you do that, it was the best method to help him calm down.

“to be honest, i don’t know what’s happening to me. the longer i hold onto the memories of geto and i, the more i feel like letting go. but i can’t, because no matter how much i try, my soul doesn’t let me.”

you felt sorry for gojo. losing your best friend was hard enough, but he still had to put on a fake personality that contradicts what he’s actually feeling during school as to not spark worry in his peers.

you knew geto well too, being one of his friends during your student days alongside gojo and shoko. however, geto and gojo’s friendship was on a much deeper level, the pair being almost inseparable as they went on missions together, and mostly hung out with one another. sure, his death impacted you a lot too, but you’ve let go, knowing that he was in a better place.

“we used to say, “we’re the strongest” , but now only i can say “i’m the strongest” .” he mutters, sniffing every once in awhile as he wipes his tears.

you hugged him tight, playing with his fingers to help him calm down. he held onto your waist as he places his head at the crook of your neck, seeking comfort and love from the intimacy.

“geto wouldn’t want you suffering like this, does he? after all, he will care for you no matter where he is, and he definitely wishes only the best for you.”

you could sense gojo calming down at last, although he didn’t want to let go. you let him stay in this position for awhile, letting him rest on your shoulder. you will forever be gojo’s safe place, providing never ending comfort and care for as long as he needs.

after awhile, you finally got him to let go, and brought him out into the dining area of his dorm to drink the soup you had made for him.

“is it good?”

“tastes like home.”

gojo never wants you to leave him, ever.

both of my gojo fics are one comforting the other😭😭 i’ll think of something else soon 🤍

[graycomfort]

I have an idea to write something heavy. David naturally has better communication skills than Simon. Simon is more unhappy, which makes him insecure, whereas David does not have this quality and can flirt with Sophie. Girls love bad boys. And as a result, Simon may catch them in an intimate moment or simply realize that he will never get Sophie back and become even more depressed. David may pester Sophie or the reader, or Simon will meet the reader after catching David and Sophie together.

+ "I am adding to the previous post. David makes Sophie fall in love with him. Simon had known David since he found out Sophie was with him. and when Henrikson becomes disabled, he says his signature phrase at a meeting with Leatherhoff. And the reader could call an ambulance for Simon"

Simon Hennrikson x Gn! Reader - Shouldn't - Part 1

Pairings: Sophie x David Leatherhoff, Simon Hennrikson x Reader

Synopsis: Your best friend Sophie falls in love with your brother, David. Simon isn't too happy about that, but maybe something good can come of it.

Everyone in this story is an asshole, but I'm so sorry David and Sophie lovers! I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU!!!!! Masterlist

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting!!! I'm so sorry for going a bit off-topic from the prompt you asked of me, and for taking such a long time. I had struggled a bit while writing it, and I ain't too happy with the outcome. I'M SORRY IF IT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE WAHHHHH

Contents: Two best friends drifting apart due to a relationship, everyone is an asshole in one way or another, eating ham pizza (just exchange it for something else if you don't eat meat or don't like pizza in general), one use of Y/N, unhealthy relationship, angst??? Word count: ~2.5k

"Oi, bro bro. Borrow me one of your Wii controllers, please." I said as soon as I entered my brother's room. David got startled, as I didn't even bother to knock, and dropped his joint on the carpet below. "Fucking hell." He muttered as he picked it back up. The carpet was now decorated with yet another burn mark as it wasn't a rare occurrence. "Don't you have two of them yourself?" He answered in a gruff voice of his. "If I didn't need one I wouldn't even waste my time talking to you. But I broke one of them and I need two." I crossed my arms as the conversation could have been very much avoided. "What for?" I groaned as he dragged out the conversation on purpose. "To play the other one with my feet, obviously." I stated with sarcasm seeping from my words. "I'm having a friend over, what else would I need two for, you idiot!" "You're weird as shit, I would have believed the first one." He said with an eye-roll as he stood up.

"So can I have it??" "Yes, Jesus, gimme a second to get it, you fucking parasite." His movements were sloppy, as expected from a guy who has taken more drugs today than I have drunk water this week. "Says you." But he didn't lie and within a minute the controller you needed was in your hands. "Thanks, will return it when she goes home." I was ready to leave, I only got to turn around before David spoke up again. "She? You're having a laddyy over! Is she pretty??" I turned my head at the question. Staring into his red eyes with obvious disgust. "Whatever is going through that drugged-up mind of yours, quit it." He shrugged. "If you're not interested I might be." He said with a cheeky tone. "No." I didn't even bother to argue with a guy who possibly couldn't even see who was in front of him.

But it did make me worried. I prayed all he said was a joke and that he wouldn't advance on her. He would be such a bad influence on a such sweet girl like her. I didn't even get to my room as a knock sounded on the front door. "I'll get it!" Was heard as a black smudge ran past me. The most coordination I have seen him manage to keep in a while. Oh, you motherfucker.

David opened the upper lock on the door and swung it open. Before the squeaky door, which had a "Leatherhoff" doorplate glued to it, stood an average heightened brunette girl. It was the first time I had ever invited her to my house, so she was caught off guard at the sight of a disheveled-looking man. "Oh my, why do I have the pleasure of seeing an angel at my doorstep?" She was not prepared to be hit on the second the door opened. The fact that most interactions she had with men had been bullying from her schoolmates. It weirded her out, yet kinda felt pleasant. What she was supposed to say she didn't know.

"Is this wh-" Before she could finish her sentence, the dark-haired man was forcefully shoved out of the way by a familiar to her face. "Move it, pothead." I stabilized myself after the strong push and made way so the said girl could enter. "Please come in, Sophie. And don't mind my idiotic brother." As I was mentioning him I shoved my elbow into his ribs. Which he winced at.

Sophie looked so unsure of the whole shit show before her, but in the end, she did enter my household. As soon as she took off her shoes I rushed her into my room. I sent one last glare in the direction of my brother before he fled back to his room annoyed. Sophie looked at me and said in a slight whisper "Was he…?" Her hand raised to point at her eyes. "High? Yeah." I said with a tired tone and threw myself on my bed. "I'm sorry that it was the first thing you saw here." I stared at her worried. I really didn't want her to judge me based on my brother. But Sophie just waved her raised hand. "Ah, don't worry about it. He was sweet to me." The worried look quickly got replaced with disgust. I fake gagged. "Ugh, girl nah!!" She laughed at my reaction and sat down next to me.

She grabbed her bag and took out a few crinkly pages. "I got you the notes you wanted. Sorry, they're kinda smugged… got pushed into a puddle…" Her mood suddenly dropped at the mention of the accident. I sighed with anger. "Fuck. That's the second time this week, I wish I was there to pay them back." Sophie smiled at the sign of care and looked up at me as I took the papers. "Don't worry, Simon was there and stood up for me." She paused for a second. "I should introduce you two to each other, I feel like you two would have a lot in common. And he could use some socializing…"

I recognized the name, but couldn't pinpoint it to a face though. As it was mostly obscured by the hood of the hoodie he always wore. It surprised you when Sophie said he stood up for her or let alone that he's her friend, as he seemed very reserved and mostly kept to himself. Usually spending breaks and sometimes even classes, listening to music, or sleeping. I couldn't blame him, I would have probably done the same thing. Yet I really wanna show the school am I better than my deadbeat brother who used to go to this school. Most of the teachers had a sour look on their faces the first time they read my last name while taking note of the attendance. I feel like I have succeeded in showing them I'm nothing like him. But the pressure to keep up the good act was still there.

"Yeah sure, I will gladly meet him. He seems like a good guy." Sophie smiled at me, she felt glad. "He is, he is. I mean yeah, he can get a bit too much sometimes. But I'm guessing that's mostly because he doesn't have any other friends than me." I hummed back at the information. The conversation diverted into many different topics before we could even get to the main point of our hangout. Playing on the Wii. Just dance, Wii Sports, etc. We played any party games we could find in my library of games until we got tired. Sophie was pretty skilled at playing those even tho she doesn't really own any gaming equipment. I was glad to give her access to mine as she seemed to enjoy it very much. The room was filled with movement, laughter, and overall fun.

It was all interrupted eventually by the door getting swung open by David. I was about to tell him off before I noticed that he actually had a reason to come in here. "Mom ordered pizza. This one's for you two. It's ham, I think." I stood up from my bed and took the pizza from his hand. Sophie was right behind me. "Great timing! I'm starving" She leaned over my shoulder, placing her hands on them. "It smells so good!" I looked at David, who's focus was on Sophie. "Tell Mom we said thanks." And with that I went back to my bed, taking the pizza with me. Before Sophie went back herself, she turned to David. "Thank you for bringing it to us." She smiled, which was replicated by David. "No problem, beautiful." I groaned before Sophie had a chance to reply. "C'mon. It's gonna get cold if you keep chit-chatting." David signed and grabbed the door handle. "Maybe another time." With that he left, closing the door behind him.

I was very much annoyed with the forceful flirting he was showering Sophie with. The girl didn't see anything wrong with David's actions. As she was appreciating all the positive words sent her way. As it wasn't a common thing in her life. Sophie came back and opened the pizza box as I was too deep in my thoughts. I was brought back to reality when I felt a warm scratchy texture in my hand. As Sophie put one of the pieces in it. David was right, Sophie was an angel. He was right about the pizza too, it is indeed ham.

It started to get dark once we finished eating. "I should better be going. It's getting dark." I glanced outside only now noticing the dark grayish sky. "Man…" "Yeah…" Sophie didn't look too happy about it just like me. I stood up and Sophie grabbed her things. "I had a lot of fun, we should do it more often!" She beamed as I replied with a nod. "Definitely!"

As we got out of my room, we met my mom in the hallway. "Ah miss Leatherhoff. Thank you for the pizza and for having me!" Mom waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, my dear. It got late, why don't Y/n's brother drive you home." She smiled sweetly. Sophie started to get worried, as she had just seen him high a few hours ago.

"I don't know, ma." I said worried about Sophie's safety. My mom didn't really listen as she called out for David to come to the hallway. It didn't take long till he came out of his room. "Yeah? What is it?" David seemed better, his eyes less red as if it wore off. Yet I still didn't trust him. You couldn't bring it up to Mom, it was a very sensitive topic. She chooses to be oblivious to her son's obvious addiction.

"Could you give Sophie a ride back home?" David looked confused at who she meant. Looking next to her, he saw his annoyed sibling and the brunette girl he hit on earlier. Just now remembering that it was her name. "Yeah, sure. Lemme just grab my keys." David disappeared again and then appeared back in the hallway quickly with his car keys in hand.

I was so displeased with the situation at hand. "Something happens to Sophie and you're fucking dead, David." I glared at him. "Y/n! Language!" My mom said before David spoke up to his defense. "Chill, nothing will happen. You know I'm an amazing driver." I raised my eyebrow. "Oh, are you now?" David sent a glare back at you. "Enough of that." Our mom spoke up.

I signed and went to hug Sophie goodbye. Before I let them leave I spoke up one last time. "Text me the second something happens or when you get home, okay?" "Okay, okay. I should be fine." She said as if she wasn't sure herself. They both put their coats and shoes on and left. I stood there looking at the door a second longer. Worried thoughts filled my brain.

And I was right. I couldn't stop David from entering my room while Sophie was there. But I couldn't stop the text messages. I don't know when they started texting. Possibly they exchanged numbers when he drove her home. It didn't matter. What mattered was that my conversations with Sophie started to get filled with 'You will never guess what David said' 'David did this' 'David' and 'David'. I would have been happy for her. If it wasn't my druggie of a brother she was talking about.

I suggested to her plenty of times that maybe she could go for Simon. "Have you seen how he looks at you? He definitely likes you!" At this point, I started to sound desperate. "Maybe… but I just don't see him that way. I like him, just not like that." I felt defeated.

Then the unavoidable happened. It was a very quiet break, there was maybe one more person in the classroom besides me. Sophie came so excited to my desk. "You won't believe it!" I looked up at her from my notes. "What?" I should have been already prepared for what she was about to say. "David and I are dating!" But I wasn't.

"Åh, cool!" I tried not to show how displeased I was with what she just announced to me. My eyes made a connection with the notes again. "Something wrong?" She asked and I really wanted to tell her the truth. I didn't wanna be a bad guy in her eyes. She was love-struck, and David made her happy. So I lied. I looked up at her with a fake grin. "Åh, nej. I'm happy for you two! I'm just a little tired and studying for today's exam is killing me.'" "Åh, I'm sorry! I will let you be! Good luck!" With that, she was gone. I watched her leave as if it was gonna be the last time I saw her. When she was out of my sight I sighed.

Hangouts at my house changed from just us two hanging out. David started joining us more and more often. With time it was David who invited her, not me. I didn't have to, she was here at least once a week anyway. At some point, I stopped going out of my room to them. Lying that I wasn't feeling too good.

Sophie did realize after a few times that I didn't come out of my room on purpose. So she decided to make plans in advance that involved going outside. So I couldn't hide in my room. She came up to me at school. "Hej, are you maybe free this weekend?" I pondered for a second. "Um, I don't think I have anything planned, why?" "How about we get some coffee this weekend? Me, you, David, and I will also invite Simon!" I really wanted to decline the offer. I was hoping it was gonna just the two of us, but of course, David had to be there too. But I do remember agreeing to meet Simon tho. Maybe he being there with us was gonna make it at least a bit less awkward, so I agreed.

"Yeah, sure." She seemed to relax at my answer. "Good! I will send you the details once I invite the rest." I was glad she still cared about our friendship. I felt a bit of an asshole for avoiding her when she came over. But I had my reasons.

A few classes later I felt my phone buzz. 'Saturday 1 p.m sounds alright to you?' was a message sent by Sophie. I replied with a thumbs-up to it and put my phone back in my pocket. The thought of regret filled my brain, but I couldn't back out now.

A few uneventful days went by till it was Saturday. It was Saturday at 12 a.m right now. I got ready for the day early, trying to look at least a bit decently since it's not gonna be just you three. I wondered what kind of person Siomn was, as Sophie's description and my own observations didn't give me much to work with.

The door to my room was open, and he stood in it. I chose to ignore him until he spoke up himself. The person in the hallway did not cross the threshold and spoke to me from where he was standing. "Are you ready to go?" It was David who, despite your relationship souring even more since he met Sophie, offered to give me a lift. "Yeah." The room was filled with an awkward silence as I picked up my things.

He moved away from the door and waited for me to put on my coat and shoes. My pace was clearly too slow for him as he passed by me and went straight for the door. "We're leaving!" He shouted to our mom who shouted back to us about being careful. And then he left. Shortly after I left the house myself, locking it behind me.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole for asking my suicidal girlfriend not to vent with me? First ask here, be warned for heavy topics about the above situation. Putting an emoji for easy finding. 🦐

I am a polyamorous person (22nb) with my long distance girlfriend (22f) of about 1 year. I love her deeply, and we have known each other for a long time when I used to go to school in person with her. I also have an in person queer platonic partner (22nb) who lives with me currently and has been with me for about 3 years. Both of my partners are suicidal and self harm, though the partner who is living with me has luckily seemed to improve a lot through being able to spend time with someone who cares for them constantly. My girlfriend...sadly has not gotten the same chance, since she moved long before we got together and has only her family to keep her stable (who have proven before this point that they are pretty terrible support systems, when they actively encouraged her self harming to become worse).

Luckily, I have had this rodeo before due to a majority of my friends struggling with this sort of problem, and when she began saying things in my dms that pointed towards depression and suicidality, I was quick to try to help her get into therapy. Whether or not this therapist is really the best is sort of iffy, as the therapist hasn't worked with her on a lot despite over a month of them working together, so...she hasn't gotten much work towards helping to change things and has felt somewhat stuck. I know she needs to probably get a new therapist, but due to not having insurance at the moment it's not an easy situation to just change. Since things have not gotten to improve, she...has still felt horrible most days will come to me in DMs to tell me how bad it is. Which, you know, should be fine, but it's the *way* she talks about it-- it's in a very vent heavy, far too much triggering information, Everything Is Horrible and there is no way to fix it and I should Die, way.

I have learned boundaries in regards to my own mental health due to just how often I have encountered things, and luckily, my other partner is great about it! They don't talk about their issues with suicidality all that much which can make me worried at times, but when they *do*, it's very much a situation of them bringing up how they feel and then us moving forwards to do something distracting or something that will help them. Instead of an info dump of Horrible Information That Makes Me Fear For Their Life, it's just. Moving to make sure they're doing better and changing things, identifying why certain feelings are feeling bad. But with my girlfriend, these topics come on suddenly without warning, are spoken in such a way that I feel like 1. I can't move on or change anything to help 2. I don't have a way to respond that will end up doing anything but make her feel worse. I feel at a complete loss of how to handle these things that she's just throwing on me. I haven't mentioned yet to her how bad these ventings make me feel because I'm worried it would make her internalize it and worsen her issues, though I know I do probably need to communicate it with her. I feel that she may just not be quite as mature as my other partner in how to handle feelings like this yet(most likely due to lack of support systems), and I WANT her to be able to talk about her feelings. I'm her girlfriend, after all, a little bit of emotional labor is always going to be a part of supporting people that close to you. Just...not in a way that will end up ultimately making both me and her feel like shit, and get her in a worse direction than before.

She eventually will be moving in with us next year, and I am wondering if I should try to wait to talk about it until then when she has more of a support to lean against, or should I try to figure it out right now. Right now could leave her...hurt and much more vulnerable, which would be a real risk considering the scenario. Would I be the asshole for telling her that she needs to work on how she talks about these topics, and that I can't have her continuing to put her emotions on me like this?

What are these acronyms?

[chronicbeans]

Human Illustrator Wally x Reader (Part 9) (End)

Sleepover time!!!

TW: Hallucinations, Depression/Anxiety

🐻 The weekend comes quicker than you expected. Wally brought Barnaby and Julie brought Sally Starlet. THE Sally Starlet. You quickly introduce yourself to them, showing them around the house. You mainly just show them simple things, like where the restrooms are, the kitchen, what's available in the fridge and such.

🐻 Sitting in the living room, you all talk about what to do. Julie excitedly says "WW SHOULD DO MAKEOVERS! That is like... NUMBER ONE on ANY sleepover list!" That doesn't really surprise you. What DOES surprise you, however, is Barnaby agreeing. "Yeah! That does sound pretty fun! I've never had a makeover. Most I've gotten was my nails done."

🐻 Next thing you know, you are having your makeup done by Sally Starlet. She excitedly talks to you, saying "It is so lovely to meet you! Oh! Just call me Sally or Sal, by the way. I am not one for formalities. You are going to look even more gorgeous than you already do, by the end of this!"

🐻 You have a lot of fun getting your makeup done. You do notice, however, that Wally looks rather... upset? Anxious? You don't know what he is feeling exactly, but it is clearly not happy... Then, noticing his quick and slightly frantic way of looking around, you grow even more concerned. Barnaby must've noticed it, too, as he gently pulls Wally aside and into another room.

🐻 For the rest of the night, you don't see the two of them, much. It's mostly just you, Julie, and Sally talking about whatever and doing whatever. Not that "whatever" isn't fun. It really is! From pillow fights, singing contests, to board games... You enjoy your first "real" sleepover a lot, actually! It is just that you are a bit worried about Wally.

🐻 "Sal, did you see Eddie and Frank the other day? They were so cute! They were in Howdy's little cafe area on a date. I saw them chattering away through the window in the most cute display of... CUTENESS!" You look over, a bit shocked. "You know Eddie Dear?" Sal gasps, nodding "Of course! He is actually pretty big in our little circle. Julie met him during... what was it? Middle school or high school?" "High school. He was a fish out of water! I helped him out when it came to socialization. He is so nice! Just a bit awkward."

🐻 Somehow, the conversation quickly moves through each member of the friend group. Of course, nobody is spoken badly of. The most is a polite little tease, followed by a barrage of compliments. When it comes to Wally, though, the whole mood shifts.

🐻 "(Y/N)... You know about Wally's... his hallucinations, right?" Sally asks, clearly treading carefully in case you didn't know about them. Julie tenses, as well, most likely having not thought about the possibility of you not knowing about them. "Yeah, he told me about them. I've been supporting him when it comes to that. I work with some kids who hallucinate, too. It isn't a problem." "Oh, thank goodness! He finally got the courage to let someone know early on... None of us see them as a problem... It's just frustrating to see him set himself up for failure in certain ways, especially regarding that."

🐻 Julie laughs "Exactly. In a more perfect world, he probably wouldn't need to tell somebody about them... but with how widely it can change his mood and such, it is good to know early on. Plus, if somebody doesn't like him because of it, like... SOME people... then they don't deserve him. Isn't that right, (Y/N)?" You nod, shrugging your shoulders "Yeah. Plus, people just gotta be prepared. I'm lucky to be rather educated on such topics. Others may not be, so they need that time to get caught up and figure out how best to help when needed..." You then look around "Have any of you seen Wa- I mean... Mr. Darling?"

🐻 They both shake their heads. You decide to go and search for him. Stepping through each room, you look around for either him or Barnaby. It is a lot quicker than you thought, because you find Barnaby sitting outside your room. You smile, asking "Hey, Mr. Beagle, have you seen Mr. Darling?" He looks up to you, nodding. "Yeah. I hope you don't mind, but he felt a bit overwhelmed. So, we found a random room and chatted for a bit. He went to bed early, putting a sleeping bag on the floor. I only really realized that it was your room after he already fell asleep. You can go check on him, if you want."

🐻 You smile "Oh, it's no problem. I was mostly worried that he might be upset or something. I'll go check on him. Sally and Ms. Joyful are in the living room if you want to go join them." After that, you enter your room to check on Wally.

🐻 He's lying in a sleeping bag on the floor, in front of your bed. The room is dark, except for your little night lamp, which projects small stars on the ceiling. Unlike what Barnaby said, though, he clearly isn't asleep. Instead, he is lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes are wide, full of fright, which clues you in that he might be seeing something that isn't there. You don't want to assume, however, so you sit next to him and begin talking.

🐻 "Hey, are you okay? Barnaby told me you were asleep, but I just wanted to check to be sure." He keeps his eyes trained upwards, but speaks slowly in response. "Home followed me here... Up there." He points to the ceiling directly above his face, continuing "Home is watching me. It's so rare that I see it... but it decided to show itself tonight, of all nights... I'm sorry to be a party pooper... Hahaha."

🐻 You look up to where he is pointing, seeing nothing but the pretty blue, yellow, and red stars above. You ask "You have no reason to be sorry. Can you tell me what Home looks like? I want to understand a bit better, so I can help better. You deserve help." "It's a large window, with a large eye behind it. It is just watching, tonight, not saying a word. The space around is is dark." "Okay."

🐻 You thing for a moment, before lying down on the floor next to him. "You deserve to be happy, you know that... right?" you ask, waiting for him to respond. He doesn't, causing a small pit to grow in your stomach. You continue talking, hoping to distract him and bring up his morale.

🐻 "You deserve to be happy. Actually, you deserve so much more than that. You deserve happiness, peace of mind, to be loved, and to live. Everybody deserves that, which means that you deserve it, too. No matter what Home or anyone or anything else says, you deserve that. No matter what you believe, you deserve that. I don't know if you believe that at the moment, but if you don't, I hope there is a time in your life when you realize that it is true. It took me a while, but I eventually did, and now my life is a little bit better."

🐻 You look back over to him, seeing that he has closed his eyes. You hear him take a deep breath, in and out, before he opens them, again. He turns his head towards you, a small, weak smile on his face.

🐻 "You'll stay by my side through this, right, (Y/N)?" You won't leave, right?" "I would never dream of it, Mr. Darling." "Call me Wally." "Okay. I would never dream of it, Wally." ... "Thank you."