#Wait I wonder if they have yoga balls that look like beach balls

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Actually scratch the wobble stool; they’re too expensive. Instead, consider: yoga ball.

[kkusuka]

(i had to repost lol- it wasn’t showing up on my page)

this the request: part 3 of thiccy gf hcs ??? with kuroo, terushima, sakusa, and daichi and/or atsumu 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 i must be fed

i understand your need for them

and as a member of the thunder-thigh committee, i am happy to write about my fellow sexy women! (another 4:56 am ramble i refuse to delete)

part one

part 2 <3

i mixed this with this ask ;  Pt. 3 of the thicc af gf with Aone, Osamu, Kyotani, Daichi, Kuguri, and Terushima plz? 🥺

this got wayyyyyyyyy long

4, 685 words. my finger slipped?

Kuroo tetsuro

this guy has been trying to get you since first year

he’s that dedicated

and you didn’t even notice, he was just a flirty friend who helped you with science

(even when he would practically put you in his lap while he went over things)

lo and behold, he finally got his chance during the third year culture festival

yeah as in he waited a whole three years for this

Eh, once again, had a whole pan to make you see him as your great future husband, aka the haunted house (a good excuse to have you hold onto him)

He has to give it to class 2-4, the did a damn good job, it was scary

Long story short you fell on top of him, boobs in face hands-on ass

~heaven~

Mans actually asked you to be his girlfriend right there, groping you and murmuring between your boobs. (he wouldn't have gotten up if the next group wasn’t approaching.)

From then on he’d literally do anything for the ass

He’s a big simp and we all know it.

Like When you wear shorts he has to ‘pull them down’ aka feel you up while pulling the hem of your shorts down ever so slightly.

Or when he gets on a knee right behind you to ‘tie his shoe’, but the school shoes have no laces.

He could be a bit more creative and he wanted to look under your skirt.

When he wants to cut the bull shit he’ll just lift the back of your skirt and rub around for a but, to hell with all the other kids in the hallway.

(did I mention that he puts things on the highest shelves so he can walk up behind you and practically dry hump you.)

Speaking of simp nation

You can't really wear anything without setting him off

Shorts drive him absolutely nuts, it's insane. But it isn't his fault that most of your shorts are spandex that cut off right at the beginning of your thighs, it's like a homemade booty lifter. He just can’t help but wanting to cop a feel.

Or the color red in general. It is ridiculous, the guy rips everything when he tries to take it off too. So that stunning red cocktail dress with the lace-up sides was not unwearable, and you only had it on for like 2 hours. And that was only because it was a friend's 18th birthday party you were both invited to.

(thanks to kuroo not letting you out of his arms you both were late and left early.)

((in his defense you looked like a full course meal and it was giving him severe blue balls, and he’s only seen you for a few minutes))

Halloween, you know. the one night you could dress up as anything. any you decide to go as a cat-girl in a maid costume. And you expected him to just take that sitting down? Hell no. the red thigh highs AND the corset middle? You're lucky it lasted as long as it did.

That my dear was bravery. His color. A cat. And a short skirt. With thigh highs!

And so, he did what he did all those other times, dragged you to sit on his lap, and opening your thighs, and like a good girl you’ll let him

If you could already tell, he gives no shits to whos watching, let ‘em see (they really never do but you get the point)

He’s also a prime thigh groper, especially when he wants to keep your legs open, he also loves thigh hic

Terushima Yuji

Another shower-offer

You were already he's so why can't he let everyone know?

Speaking of you being his, he doesn't tell people how you guys don’t together, with good reason considering you practically beat him up

Not really but that’s what he calls it, basically he tried to get with one of your friends at a party.

She just happens to not be interested in men and has a wonderful girlfriend, so she was uncomfortable but couldn't tell him to leave her alone

So you took fate into your own hands, literally, you stole Fate from class 3-2’s drink and poured it on him before slapping him and telling him about how he was a pig.

And he fell in love, you looked like an angel, a really hot angel, it didn't help you were in a white dress either

And from then on he literally once or twice, got on his knees for you, asking to give him a chance.

Honestly, it got annoying, so you just agreed to make it go away. It did, but you also gained a perv of a boyfriend who has an insatiable love for your lower half

He’s a simple creature, do take caution of his fragile being

So that means all those times you bend over in front of him he was slowly cracking and trying to figure out where the nearest storage closet is.

He thought he was having heart palpitations when he saw you in the damn dress again, apparently, he didn't see all of it. Specifically the v-neck top, and the fact it only went to the end of your ass. Needless to say, he made sure to walk behind you on every staircase that you went on

Another set off is yoga legging, like the lululemon ones, that people wear all the time. They fit you great, really really great. They were supposed to work out in them???? Why were they so skin-tight????? And he also figured out that you wore things because of them. Instant nut.

How you ask, simple.

One time he saw your underwear line through the pants and he pointed them out, they did make it seem like your ass was super soft so he saw his chance and took it.

So the next time you wore them and he didn't see the lines he was like ??????

And thus began the “Yuji hunt for lineless underwear” and he found the thongs

And you received the fucking of your life soon after.

Oh! And there’s any time you go to the beach. Literally every time.

No cap.

The first time was when you wore a red one-piece and he practically went feral. It wasn't really a one-piece if it was see-through and had the lowest neckline on the planet.

Everyone was looking at you.

He practically fucked you on the beach but held off until you got back to the hotel room.

He’s way more forward when he wants to fuck, if you could imagine. He’ll just walk up to you and tell you he wants to get some, like right now.

If you can even ignore him, he’ll throw an arm around your waist and grope around your legs, all the way to the apex.

It is also not below him to try and get you off while still wearing underwear that he will be taking after.

(i didn't say anything about his stash off orgasm ruined underwear? My bad.)

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Going beyond the fact he even has a girlfriend, y’know considering, but the fact that no one knew who you were until you showed up at nationals to cheer him on

(atsumu was even starting to think that you didn't exist and that poor kiyoomi just imagined you up, so can imagine his shock when you ran up to said boy after they won)

The whole dating thing wasn't the shocking part; it was the fact that you looked like you walked off of the Milan runway.

And you were wearing leggings and sakusa's jacket, all of a sudden everyone was interested in how that happened

It was a kind of a boring story, someone had spilled coffee in a shop that you both happen to be in

And he watched you offer the man the same disinfectant wipes that he uses!

And in the most sakusa way possible he followed you out of the shop and tried to talk to you.

An exchange of numbers and many awkward conversations (and boners) later, you were a couple.

Back to that hug, like the many others, he's let you have, it’s all just to feel how soft you were

But poor touch -starved sakusa doesn't know what to do with any of these pent up feelings.

And he has a loooooooot of them.

Multiple occasions have shaped the poor germ-boy into the horny-tornado he has become

so he’s not really into what you’re wearing, it’s more about what you’re doing

like when you wore the mask he bought you to one of his games, and you wore one of his alternate uniforms, but the kicker was how you stayed away from everyone and didn’t let a single person near you (or his shirt)

or when you helped him clean his dorm when he was doing his weekly deep clean

or when the two of you washed the dishes while trying to do one of those “try not to sing” challenges

(is it normal to get a boner when your girlfriend helps you clean? no?)

but, as much as he tries to remain emotionless on the subject, there are multiple exceptions to the “it’s not what she wears” whole thing

Like that violet puffy skirt, you wore to a study fate, the one with the white sweater? That one, the same one that he could see your panties, from anywhere he sat. and Every time you got up you would have to smooth it down to make the creases go down, but it was only ever really giving him a good idea about the shape of your ass.

(if he sees you in that skirt again he’s just going to fuck you in it)

The lesser-known horny-inducer, since he made you take it off within the first five minutes, was a dress! What kind of dress? A neon yellow see-through mesh dress. The bottom wasn’t what got him though, it was the fact that your white bra was clearly seen under the mesh top. Or maybe it was the way the skirt made your waist look super small, and how your hips looked so round and squeezable.

Yeah, no one else could experience you in that.

Not to sound like this, but sakusa is still averse to touch

BUT BUT BUT

That goes out the window when he wants to dance the devil's tango with you.

Mr. His way or no way shows up,  he does it every so slightly different

If it’s just the two of you, he’ll put a hand on your shoulder and he’ll push you to your knees. And he’ll pet your head and tell you what’s about to happen and advise you to listen like a good girl.

But in the instance you are in the presence of others, he’ll stand behind you and bring you super close to him, ass to dick. (maybe he’ll grind into you a bit, just to convince you to follow him) and he’ll throw a few words in about how much of a bitch in heat you are for getting turned on in front of all of these people.

It’s best to just do what he wants before he makes you cum in your underwear.

Daichi Sawamura

oh my

you guys are the power thigh couple

powerful and defined mixed with soft and pillowy

In Fact, that’s literally how the two of you met, thanks to Tanaka and Nishinoya of course.

(let’s just pretend karasuno has a cheer squad, and you just happened to be the captain of said team)

So basically you were doing a favor for the student council, and you were supposed to ask how many third years, managers included, were on each team and each club in the school

Easy! Turns out not so much. You were still in your cheer practice uniform, which was the shortest spandex ever made, and a Karasuno school t-shirt that was ever so slightly too tight.

Anyway, you make it to the gym and open the door, and the little one, Yachi, saw you and literally screamed. (she was right by the door), and that alerted everyone else in the gym, which led to the bald boy and his short companion pushing you further into the gym.

But in the better sense, it did gain the attention of the captain! Just the exact moment he was in front of you someone pushed; your back and within a second, in some miracle like way, you both ended up on the floor and he ended up planked on top of you with a leg between your spread thighs.

Almost kissing nonetheless.

Then, like the gentleman he was, he got off and asked you if you alright and kneeled down and let you use his shoulder to try and stand back up.

You did get up, for a split second, Daichi still kneeling letting you use him as a step stool when a certain red-head was flung right into you and you went toppling forward.

Onto Daichi.

Onto Daichi's face.

Your thighs around his head.

His hands-on your ass.

Hand in his hair.  

He could sit there forever, you were frozen, everyone else was frozen.

You eventually climbed off and asked how many third years there were. But he just sat there, his hands hadn’t moved either, luckily Suga answered and you were on your way.

And Daichi still didn’t move, after that incident, you had begun to see him everywhere, and eventually, he just cut the shit and asked you out.

Daddy Daichi likes seeing you in literally anything from sweatshirts to lingerie.

His favorite was the brown buttoned pencil skirt and the white blouse, that you wore to a date. You were kind of overdressed for the ramen shop and after a walk, but he didn't even care. He was so thrown off by how turned on he was he couldn't speak in full sentences.

An example:

“Yeah, the food here is- boob, I-I mean great, not boob, great, yes, great.”

The second.

.

.

.

.

.

Was a bathrobe.

Can you see where I'm going with that? Simply you look hot.

His favorite part of the night was ripping it off of you.

And like the first time you met, he had his head in your thighs <3

Atsumu Miya

You met poor atsumu at a party.

He tried to shoot his shot, y’know he sees a cute lady he’s just gotta try and show you what you could be getting

he had it all planned, he was going to walk up behind you and run his hands over your delicious curves and ask you if you were in need of any help

he doesn’t take into account that a having a random guy just start groping you and pressing himself behind a girl was panic-inducing

so when he dropped your waist, you freaked out and may or may not have punched him in the dick

while he was in a. world of pain you age to figure out what the hell had just happened to you

then you noticed him on the floor, and when he noticed you looking at him he put this forced cocky smirk on and gave you a “how you doing”

You took pity on the poor creature and helped him up and got him some ice, then conversed with him for the majority of the rest of the night.

And he just hasn't left you alone since

(and, you learned this far later, that he went so far to tell Sakusa and Kageyama all about you and how amazing you are, and has even sent them- more than one- picture

But in other news, he’s very horny

So really all that means is he always has his hands on you

Like during practice breaks when you're allowed to come down and talk to him for a bit, give him some things, but it normally just consists of him sitting on the bench and you standing in front of him.

While his hands rest on your hips and his face is shoved into the valley between your breasts, and he just sits and listens to you as you brush a hand through his hair.

Or sometimes, if he had been having a rough time, he’ll just have his hands under your skirt and he’ll feel around for a bit while grumbling about how people cant hit his sets

But for being the possessive bastard he is, he sure likes letting you wear all those outfits

Like the booty shorts and tank top, you wore to bring them food during the summer training camp. That same camp that the two of you disappeared at and he came back looking like he had won the lottery.

Or the cute little red dress you wore to your anniversary date? The one that made him have a hard-on the entire time you were at dinner. He knows the waiter remembers, he also bets the waiter remembers seeing him fucking you in the car when his shift was over.

And that time you wore his jersey to bed and sent him a picture of it. It was such a good picture that he made it his lock screen for everyone to see.

He just likes looking at you tbh.

Aone Takanobu

you guys didn’t meet in some weird perverted way, it was actually really cute!

Not to sound creepy but he knew that you were in the garden club because you sat right in front of him in class

And since he didn't talk to anyone else in that class he was just content with listening, and so there he was

Standing outside of the garden club door holding his withering basil plant. Lost.

Lucky for him you were walking down the hallway and greeted him, looking all pretty and cute

You did help him realize that he was overwatering the basil and within a few weeks, it was back to life!

From that first time on, he came to the club room with you twice a week and walked home with you, just listening to all the random plant facts that you had harbored in your mind.

Eventually, with the help of the team, he asked you out, and you hugged him and said yes, and that was the beginning of the “oh god, y/n is way softer than I thought”

So he really just tries to be near you or be touching you at all times  

(i am also a firm believer that he likes to slow dance to classical music in your living room)

Like during lunch periods when you sit next to him and the second you finish eating hell push you to lean against him

And he’ll rub small circles on your hips and give you small innocent gropes

Or how he hugs your waist when you're doing literally anything, and he puts his head on top of your head while swaying

I can also tell you that Aone is a good singer

So he hums to you (I'm uwuing over my own headcanon lol)

He also really likes just running his hands along your body, so he likes when you wear the one-piece dresses so he has smooth sailing down your body

As a man of little words, he clearly has a more physical approach to getting you on the horny train

What I am trying to get at is that more often than not he literally just picks you up and carries you away.

Of course, that leaves you to come back to whatever you were doing.

That is after the cuddles and after sex ‘conversations’ about the dumbest things

Basically, he likes to hear you talk and he really likes being near.

Osamu Miya

He knew who you were

With a brother like atsumu, who never shuts up about you, it's hard not to

(Osamu is pretty sure atsumu had a picture of you next to his pillow. ew)

Anyway, the two of you just happened to share the same lunch block, and it also just happens to be the only period block that he was alone

No teammates and no especially close that he could hang out with

That meant he could either study or eat

Had he chose to eat, only to be met with the fact that atsumu had drained both of their lunch accounts for his flavor of the week

Poor baby stood there for a while just processing what was the worst news of his life

When you, a true angel among the evil, said that you would graciously pay for his food so that he didn't outlook so sad anymore

If he wasn’t holding an armful of onigiri he would have fallen on his knees and begged to whatever god was out there to let him keep you

But he settled for thanking you and spending the entire period with you, he even offered to share (for the first time in his life)

You complimented him on his flavor choice and he decided to keep you

He made sure to share his recipes with you and you tried to do the same

And somehow that evolved into you guys going on dates, much to atsumu’s distaste, and you guys were totally hitting it off

Osamu was your official biggest fan, he loved everything you do

But that means he wants to stay your biggest fan, and he knows that you’re pretty well known for boys thinking not so innocent things about you

Again being brothers with atsumu gave him this little sadistic streak

He lets you wear all of the revealing outfits and the bikinis, all for everyone to see

Everyone to see what belongs to him

Like at suna’s party he let you wear a black mini-skirt and a white off the shoulder long sleeved flowy shirt.

You looked good, and all the guys staring at you proved that point tenfold. Three guys had come up to you and tried to get you to go upstairs with them. And it was almost immediately shut down when they noticed the act you were sitting on your boyfriend.

Speaking of, he almost always has you in his lap.

Aww, cute! Not, he like grinding you down on him, that's also why he likes having you wear skirts, easy access to your ass, also a nice way to ensure that he could get more than a few gropes in when he wants

No, it's definitely the way he made you wear thigh highs to school one day and the shortest skirt you owned (like a school skirt) and walked behind you the entire day.

And he just reached behind you and lifted your skirt for the whole hallway to see, but mostly for him

He waists no time when he wants to fuck, he’ll just walk up to and open your legs while making out with either you or your neck.

And yes he has done that in front of atsumu

Who was warned to stay out of their room for a while.

Not to mention all those times he convince you to go to school with no underwear on just for the fun of it

(I didn't tell you this but those off the shoulder mini dresses drive him wild. On graduation day he pulled into a closet and had his way with you. I mean he did say that if you wore that dress he was going to do it, buuuuuut y’know….. yolo)

Kyotani Kentaro

We all know he’s a fighter, which means he gets hurt a lot, which in turn makes him a frequent face in the nurse's office

And who happens to be the nurse's niece? You of course!

And right after school, when your aunt takes her break and leaves you to take care of the office alone

Right after school is also when Kyotani always comes in.

(it’s not like he knew that you would be there alone, and that meant that you had to deal with him and heal him up. And it also is not like he started the fight so he could come here and see you. No not that)

Who am I kidding it was like that.

It was totally like that.

Your hands were just so soft when they put the bandages on and you have to bend down to get the wrapping.

He had a crush, that's what iwaizumi said, and after googling what the symptoms of a crush were he was sure

So with the help of the third years, aka Oikawa just having Iwaizumi repeat what he wanted to say, they had a plan

And the next time he was in the office he asked if you wanted to see a movie with him, it was so cute and he looked so shy

It would have been perfect if after five seconds he tried to take it back, you still went on the date with him though

He was happy.

Angry boy likes hugs

And yes he does, no objections

So when he’s upset he’ll make these grabby hands at you and have you come over and stand with him

He shoves his chin on your shoulder and his hands squeezing your waist and you’ll rock back and forth until he calms down.

He’s also very aware of what you wear

Like how your skirt perfectly frames your legs. How the socks you wear make your legs look 10x longer, and make you look like you’re walking like a model.

Or the dark blue leggings you wore with his alternate jersey and you were cheering for him!

But nothing and I mean NOTHING gets him better than when you wear spandex shorts and one of his shirts. He goes feral every time.

This man is the CEO of picking you up and placing you on his lap, straddle style, and just going ham on you

Not to mention that sometimes when he’s really tired he’ll have you just sitting on his lap while he plays with your thighs

(he also likes playing with your waist and stomach, but he doesn't realize that he’s talking out loud so you can hear all of the “so soft”’s he lets out.

Kuguri

You were one of Mika's close friends so you were always just kind of around

It was a little get together that Daishou threw that really made you two close

It was a weird drinking game of sorts, and it had these teams, and you were out as a pair!

Somehow throughout the game, you guys got side-tracked and just ended up talking to each other the rest of the night

Eventually, you were convinced to go on a double date and the rest was history

He didn't even pay attention to what you wore that much until he heard a few rando kids in the locker room talking about it.

And that’s when he started thinking about just who he was dating

He first realized how round your ass was. Is it normal to look that good in leggings? No one else has ever looked that good to him. With that came his obsession with just touching your butt. He just grabs it or he’ll stop you from walking and palm it. Or he’ll rub circles into it.

(it's cute how intrigued he is by your butt)

Then came his obsession with your thighs. Mostly the way that they spread out when you sit. He didn't even understand why they were just so mesmerizing. They were so squishy too. He likes how they look in his hands-

Lastly was the waist thing. You aren't even sure what it is. He just likes putting his hands on your waist. Like a prom picture. Sometimes he’ll squeeze or run his hands along your sides. But he’s mostly stationary.

He also has this habit of just opening your legs and laying on your stomach.

He is just so into how soft you are.

[ehbeeseedih]

Lost a bet - positions

Prompt:

So you lost a bet and posted that you wanted to try out some sex positions and were looking for volunteers. As soon as you were allowed, you were going to go delete it, but then you looked at the replies. Who said they wanted to do each one with you?

How it works:

Go to “Random.org”.

Click on “Lists & More” and then “Lists Randomised”.

Enter the names of 18+ people/characters.

Use the first 10 to find out who volunteered for each one.

PS: This is my first time posting on tumblr so the sizes of things, font and all those kinda things might be a little wacky, but I’ll try to fix it afterwards. 

You can check out my other stories at AFF.  Now, enjoy reading 10 bad smuts to fulfill your daily bad smuts quota.  

Oh yeah nearly forgot, thanks to @existslikepristin​ for the tag.

Rosé - Missionary

“Everything I need is on the ground.” 

The music ends, the ending pose done, everyone claps. Today is the last day of practice before Rosé’s solo debut tomorrow afternoon. 

You went to the showers in the dance studio after debriefing. A cold shower does wonders for relieving body ache after intense practice sessions. 

As you prepared to leave the studio, you saw Rosé still practicing by herself, wearing the tight short skirt outfit she’s about to perform in tomorrow. 

Rosé bent forward as the music reached the chorus, her safety shorts failed to adequately cover up her butt cheeks as they came into your view. Your pants abruptly got tight at the sight. 

You desperately try to divert your attention as Rosé caught you staring at her. Instead of calling  you out about it, she began twerking harder, letting her plump butt freely bounce in front of you. 

“Like what you’re seeing?”

“Yes…..” You shyly replied

“Well I could use some releasing, haven’t had a cock for a while.” 

She lowered her skirt and panties in a single stroke, “How you like that?” 

“Huh?”

“I mean how would you like to fuck me?” 

“Missionary please, I’d like to see your face.” 

She lays down on the floor and spreads her legs wide, “Vanilla huh, I like it. I’m already on the ground, what are you waiting for?” 

You’ve finally realised the true meaning of “Everything I need is on the ground”. Let’s just hope that both of you won’t be too tired to perform tomorrow. 

Doggy - IU

Having a bubbly and needy girlfriend like Jieun can be both a blessing and a curse. 

The blessing, a very fulfilling sex life, anytime and anywhere. 

The curse, it’s hard to reject her when she wants them but you don’t. Her aegyos and delicate moans were like cheat codes that made you do whatever she told you to. 

In the present, you’re faced with two very major problems you had to deal with. On one hand, you had a report and 2 proposal you needed to turn in by tomorrow

On the other hand, you had a needy girlfriend who’s willing to do anything to get you to fuck her. 

Jieun had been doing everything she could to get you off work and pay attention to her. She started with strip tease, lap dance, progressing to slowly jerking you off and giving you a messy blowjob. 

You had nearly given up, a few moans escaped your mouth, but in the end you were still working, and Jieun was also still working. She released your cock from her mouth and went to the bed.

Immediately, you heard sounds of wet flesh and Jieun’s soft moans. 

“Ahhhh, why are you still working? You could be here balls deep in me. Ahhhhh, it would be better if it’s your giant cock inside me instead of my slim finger.” 

That nearly tempted you off. Your cock was growing hard again, your hand slowly stroking it along to the beat of Jieun’s moans. 

“Look at me!” She shouted. In hindsight, you shouldn’t have looked. The moment you turn your head, there is no going back.

Jieun was on all fours, her fingers in her pussy slowly pumping off. 

“Come fuck your little slut. Look at how wet I am for you.” 

Magnetized by her pussy, you gave up work and went over and grabbed her hips.

“You nasty little slut, distracting me from doing actual work. Now let me punish you.” 

“Oh yeah, punish your little slut. Fill her with your cum and send her to heaven.”

Suffice to say your bosses were not impressed when you said you had to take care of your pet yesterday and couldn’t finish your work.  

Cow girl - Jessica

Why are you in a 5 star hotel again? Oh yeah, you were at a family gathering with your wife Jessica. 

But why does she look so mad? Did you piss her off doing something stupid again? 

“Do you know why I’m mad right now?”

“No……” A ringing slap on your left cheek. 

“Please explain why were you fucking my sister during the family gathering?” 

Oh yeah, now you remember. Krystal was seducing you during dinner, which ended up with you getting caught by Jessica while cumming inside Krystal in their family house bathroom. 

“Well……. Krystal was seducing me, and you did say it’s ok to touch your sister right?” A ringing slap on your right cheek. 

“I said only when I’m not available. I was prepared to give you a surprise but you decided to be a bad boy.” 

Jessica took off her bathrobe and revealed the red lacy lingerie underneath it. 

Red - the ultimate colour of seduction. Jessica certainly knew how to get you fired up. Luckily for you, you too knew how to get her fired up. 

Hug her hips, hand on her butt, face in front of her pussy “I’m sorry mommy, I have been a bad boy, please forgive me.” 

“Ahhhh” Jessica moaned and pushed you down onto the bed hard. “You’ve been a really bad boy. Now let me ride you.” 

“Yes. Please mommy.” 

69 - Miyeon

“Hey Miyeon, look at me! I’m sliding down the slide upside down.” 

She ignored you. 

Miyeon had been acting all weird today. Like she was pretty weird normally but today even more so. 

She told you she wanted to do something fun today, and then she brought you out to a playground in the middle of nowhere. 

Was she going through nostalgia and wanted to relive her childhood? That doesn’t seem like it. She had been looking around scanning the area ever since you got here. What was she looking for, there’s nothing and no one in the vicinity. 

“Hey baby, what are you doing?” 

She approaches you with a smirk and grabs your crotch, gently rubbing it. 

“Baby, I told you I want to do something fun right. Let’s fuck right here. Nobody is watching.”

“What…….” Before you could speak, Miyeon had unzipped your pants and started sucking your already hard cock.

“Can you at least let me sit upright first?” 

“No, 69 is part of the fun. Now shut up and eat my pussy.” 

“You’re one kinky girl Miyeon.” 

Downward dog - Shuhua

You loved your job as a yoga instructor, and having your classes famous among idols is a huge reason for it.

It started out with Yerin and your extra sessions. Apparently she liked it so much that she introduced Joy to join your extra sessions too.

Since then, idols had been coming so frequently that you’ve had to space out the appointments as your body couldn’t keep up with the number of sessions. 

Last week it was Yves and Chuu and this week it will be Shuhua.

“Hi Shuhua, how are you feeling today?”

“Great, just a bit stiff. I’ll need some help with stretching later, maybe your pole can be handy.”

“Alright, do you want to start off slow or go straight to the extra sessions.” 

“Be fast please, I’m impatient.” 

“Alright then, let’s start off with the downward dog pose. Put your hand on the floor and raise your hips up.” 

“Good, looks like you have been following my advice and putting in extra work. Your thighs look very meaty.” 

“I’ve been doing a lot of leg work recently.” 

“I’ll message your butt and help you relax your muscles.” 

“It feels great, please don’t stop.” 

“What is this Shuhua, why is there a wet spot in between your thighs?” 

“Ahhh, don’t tease me please.” 

“Oh no, no panties. You’re a naughty student. Let me punish you.”

“Yes please, use your cock to help me stretch out my thigh pussy.” 

Side saddle - Yuju

Some come to the beach for the relieving feeling, some for the tan, some for the sea breeze. But you’re here for the bikinis and tiddies. 

Sitting under your beach umbrella, you can usually see a whole beach of beauties enjoying themselves. But not today. 

The beach is desolate today, not much to see. Just the occasional family with nothing impressive, not the usual group of eye candies. 

The weather is beginning to turn and you prepare to abort. Just as you’re about to leave, you spot a lady sporting a red bikini slowly approaching from afar, heading towards your direction.

As she nears, you observe her fit body, her abs and her beautiful appearance. 

“Hey, why are you here at the beach?”

“I came here for a walk. But it seems like the weather today is not cooperative.” 

“That’s unfortunate, maybe we can do something together to create some memories and remedy that.”

She scans your body. Instinctively, you flex up your abs.

“Alright, but we do it my way.”

She sits on top of your crotch which starts pumping up with blood. You scan around for one more time to ensure no one is watching.

While you scout, Yuju is busy relieving your cock from your pants and inserting it through her bikini bottom. 

She begins bouncing on you slowly. The cold winds contrasted with the interior warmth of her pussy, heightening the experience. 

Some come to the beach for the relieving feeling, some for the bikini and tiddies. But you’re here for the fuck. 

Throat Swab - Jiho

A rich heiress by the name of Jiho has recently come under your radar. Her mansion was outside of the town and she lives really lowkey. 

Made a rough survey of her mansion, it seems relatively lightly guarded given her wealth. No one except her servants went in and out of the mansion, not even Jiho herself had left the mansion throughout the few days. 

Clock struck 12, sneaked into the mansion from the back door without anyone noticing

Circling around the mansion, surprised by how empty it is inside given the luxurious exterior. The heiress living inside must be pretty lonely. 

Made your way to the master bedroom. Jiho sleeping elegantly in her princess themed bed. 

Tied her up on her bed with ropes

Ransacked her mansion, took away many valuables. Heard a loud scream from the master bedroom 

With lightning speed, headed to the source of the sound. Found Jiho struggling with her hands tied up

“What are you doing, let me go.” 

“Shut up you nasty bi*** “ Placed your palm on her face to quiet her.

Instead of resisting, Jiho surprisingly licked your palm in a circular motion, her eyes telling you of her desire

Stuck your fingers into her mouth and she dutifully sucked it with vigour.

“You’re a needy little slut I see. You’re being kidnapped and yet you’re sucking my fingers” 

“It has been a long time since I've seen a man. It’s natural to be needy.” 

Released her, knowing she won’t run away. Brought her to the edge of the bed with her head hanging from the bed. 

“I still need to keep you quiet, maybe I should stuff your mouth with my cock”

“Please fuck my mouth, please.” 

Pearly Gates - Arin

You’ve always thought Arin was the good girl type. The type that would be shy about sex. 

However, after a date started off with her sucking you off in the car, feet playing with your cock under the restaurant table, ass grinding on your crotch in an elevator and her hand guiding yours while touching her pussy in the cinema, you threw away all your dumb assumptions. 

After a libidinous date, you came home utterly exhausted and immediately fell into your bed. 

As you slowly dozed off to dreamland, Arin crashes on top of you, waking you up. 

Instinctively you moved your hand to embrace her whilst both of you gradually drifted into slumber. 

Your legs suddenly felt numb and a need to move them. Finding your legs trapped under Arin’s legs, the only way to move them was to spread out her legs.

Your legs slowly spreaded Arin’s legs out and you heard a barely audible moan from her. 

Arin turned around with a soft smile and raspy voice “You still got juice to try out a new position?” and began grinding her posterior on you to get you in the mood again.

You quickly moved to remove the bottoms for the both of you “What’s this new position you’re talking about?” 

“It’s called pearly gates, I learned it from reading a smut challenge.” 

She impaled herself on your cock from above as you felt her being more tight in this position 

The sex was great, and lucky for you Arin did not eat much for dinner.

Stand and Carry - Minju

“Ha, you suck at Mario Kart.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you won. What do you want?” 

“Carry me to the ice cream shop.” 

“Can’t you walk yourself? You’re heavy, you know.” Despite bickering, you willingly bent down and told Minju to get on your back. 

However, she refused and insisted on being carried on the front. 

Minju wrapped her legs around your waist and you felt her moist core pushed up against your crotch. 

“No panties?” 

“Shut up, just go.” 

You’re sure she already felt it but your cock was rock hard and bulging out after knowing your girlfriend’s kinky behavior. 

As you carried her towards the store, every little movement and vibration of a step caused your clothed bulge to rub against Minju’s bare pussy. 

Minju tried her best to hold back her moans but occasionally some slipped out which attracted the attention of people nearby. 

Not only do you have to deal with the weird glances from the passersby, but also your internal desire to fuck Minju then and there.  

At the last 100 meters, Minju’s soft moans suddenly became a deep groan, her whole body gripped on yours as she orgasms. A gush of fluid wettens your pants on the crotch area. 

Just as Minju recovered from her bliss, you spotted an empty alley and headed there. 

Making quick work of your pants with Minju still hanging on you, you swiftly inserted your cock into her drenched pussy. 

Guess she won’t have a clean skirt to go home with. 

Spooning - Taeyeon

*This one is a little long

After watching Aladdin at the cinema, you headed home alone. 

Windy, starry night, with roads empty due to the cold weather. You enjoyed this lonely feeling, it was what you’re used to after all. It brought peace to your mind, away from the loneliness in your shack, away from the judging eyes of society. 

All was good until a shady looking fella approached from the opposite direction. He was carrying a big gunny bag behind him, panting. It must’ve been heavy. 

At first glance, you would’ve assumed him to be a murderer, carrying a fresh corpse behind him. 

He approaches you and tells you hastily “Do you want a body pillow? It has a really beautiful lady on it.”

Totally weirded out. “No thanks, I have no use for it.”

“Just take it, bye.” He dumped the bag onto you, the weight of the bag bringing you down to the ground. He’s nowhere to be seen after you stood back up, disappeared into the wind. 

Not wanting to be fined for random disposal of garbage, you carried the gunny bag home. The road home was an ascend, filled with potholes and untamed bushes, fitting for the blighted part of town you live in. Those combined with your fat figure made you pant the whole way home. 

You carried the gunny bag home and opened the thing inside. Well at least he wasn’t lying when he said it had a beautiful lady on it at least. 

Beauty is relative, but the woman on the pillow was undoubtedly a good view for the eye, especially when compared to your face which only your mum could love.

The day was a long one for you. You were prepared to go to bed by then. Instead of throwing it away, you just hugged the body pillow and went to sleep. 

Sleeping naked, you wanted to rub the magic lamp before sleeping, but ultimately decided against it. Whilst falling asleep, you subconsciously rubbed the body pillow a few times, its material comfy enough to not become trash. 

Suddenly a weird smoke came out from the body pillow followed by a bright glow of light. 

You were temporarily blinded but when you regained vision you saw a fine lady in front of you. 

“Hi, my name is Taeyeon. I’m genie for you boy. Tell me your wish”

“Damn, I must’ve been way too absorbed in the movie to be dreaming like this.” You thought. 

“You’re not dreaming sir, I will fulfill 3 wishes of yours” 

Remembering how your life had been a family friendly film without any adult action scenes, more Spongebob than Fifty Shades of Grey, you’re not going to miss the dance to rectify that. 

“Well you do look quite hot, it won’t hurt to have a wet dream. I wish to fuck you while hugging you.” 

“Your wish is granted, Sir” 

Taeyeon slowly removed her clothes, her perky breasts bouncing out of her bra, her removal of panties unveiled her cleanly shaven pussy, all illuminated by moonlight shining on her fair skin. 

She snuck into your embrace, which wasn’t the most comfortable position due to your bloated size, but it still worked. Grabbing your adorably sized cock, she impaled herself onto your cock and started moving. 

Your sexual awakening felt incredible, Taeyeon’s pussy was tightly squeezing your cock. You couldn’t go very deep, and you felt sad about it. 

“I wish for you to praise me.” 

“Your wish is granted, Sir” 

Taeyeon’s moans went from soft squeaks to loud groans, her movement increasing in pace.

“Yes Sir, you fill me up so good.” Even though you knew she was just fulfilling your wish, you couldn’t help but feel proud of yourself for the first time in your life. 

With the encouragement boost, you began to thrust your dormant hips into her, in unison with her thrusting down. 

“Sir, why are you growing bigger. Ahhh” 

You’re growing bigger, that’s good to know. Your banging grows in strength to the point of moving the bed with you. 

Your neighbours would look down on you even more but you didn’t care. For the first time in forever, you’re doing something you like and you won’t let others disturb you. 

“Hghhhh, I’m cumming Sir.”

“Me too. AHhhh, let’s cum together.” 

Together, something you weren’t particularly familiar with. The orgasm was great, the sex was great, but even better was doing it with someone who enjoyed and appreciated you. 

“One more round?” 

“Sorry but I’m too tired sir, you fucked me too good.”

“Thanks for saying that but you don’t need to flatter me.”

“No I mean it sir, you’re the best one I’ve had.” 

Warmth filled your insides, not only did your first sex didn’t go down the drain, she even praised you for being good. Your vision was becoming blurry, but you’re sure it was sweat flowing from your forehead. 

“Alright then, good night Taeyeon.”

“Good night Sir”

As you awaken the next morning, Taeyeon’s morning visuals stunned you. You haven’t had the chance to properly see how she looked but now that you did, she was gorgeous. 

At the same time, Taeyeon also woke up from her sleep. 

“Last night was incredible Sir. You were so good.” Her compliment made you replay the scene from yesterday. It had been a long time since anyone had said you’re good at anything. 

“That reminds me, you have one more wish Sir, please make the most out of it.”

“What will happen to you once I make my last wish? Will you just disappear? Will last night just be another sweet memory that I’ll forever replay in my mind?” Tears were beginning to form as you’re about to go back to the lonely dark self after experiencing how good things could’ve been. 

“Unfortunately. Yes Sir.” 

An idea suddenly struck you,  “What if I wish for you to stay with me forever?” 

“Your wish will always be fulfilled Sir.” 

“I wish for you to stay with me forever.” 

“Your wish is granted, Sir” 

With that, another burst of light blinded you and you’re left alone in your room again, back to square one. Why did you think that you could escape this lonely life destined for you?

One day as you’re going back home from another movie, you saw someone carrying a gunny bag.

The scene felt awfully familiar. You approached the person and realised it was a girl this time around.

“Hi, my name is Taeyeon. I’m from the Girls Generation Genie Team. We work to grant the wishes of all lonely kids in the area. Could you help me with this bag of supplies?” 

“Yes! Yes!” 

Maybe being a lonely kid wasn’t so bad afterall. 

A/N: Thanks for reading. Hope you’ve enjoyed it. Feel free to tell me anything wrong or where I still need to improve. 

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 4: Bluebird (originally published on December 28, 2020)

Author's note: We're at the halfway point of Part 1 here, two antagonists return for vengeance on Steven, but is there more to this than just screwing with him? We'll just have to wait and see!

Synopsis: A pair of old foes return, and Steven learns that he can't change everyone.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Larissa Gallagher as Bluebird Azurite

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis Lazuli

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Kimberly Brooks as Cherry Quartz

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Ted Leo as Steg

--

"Hello there, all you Gems out there in the universe!" Steven announced as he warped into Little Homeworld as part of a commercial for Little Homeschool. "Has this new era for our universe gotten you all lost and confused? Well, come on down to Little Homeschool!"

"Are you used to destroying things?" Steven continued speaking as he walked in on Lapis making a sculpture, and Lapis just turned her head to him. "Then try learning to be constructive instead!"

Next, Steven stood with Peridot in a cornfield. "Are you used to plotting? Then come tend to this big plot of land!"

Finally, the camera closed in on Steven's face. "Feeling lost without the Diamonds telling you what to do?" he asked as the camera zoomed out to show him doing a yoga pose with Garnet. "Then we can help you find your inner center!"

As the ad concluded, Steven posed with Peridot, Little Larimar, and Angel Aura Quartz at Little Homeworld. "Everyone deserves an opportunity to grow, so come on down to Little Homeschool today!" he exclaimed. "And cut! Thanks for helping out everyone."

"I'm an actor." Larimar said.

"I'll get home and get some editing done." Steven said, preparing to walk away with the camera when Peridot stepped up from behind. "Anything you need now, Peri?"

"Steven, you smell good." Peridot innocently complimented Steven with two thumbs up, much to his confusion.

"I'm sorry, what?" Steven asked the green Gem.

"That's what your back told me to do." Peridot explained before she took a crudely written note with that exact message off Steven's back. "See, you wrote this yourself!"

"No, I didn't." Steven claimed as he took a sip from a box, but realized too late what he was drinking. "Tomato soup?!" he gagged.

"I thought you loved that stuff!" Peridot assumed.

"Yeah but, where did my juice go?" Steven wondered. Suddenly, a roll of toilet paper rolled away from the Dondai Supremo, and it was covered in more rolls. "Oh no!" Steven yelled in surprise. "The Dondai's been….covered in toilet paper?"

The mystery prankster was nowhere to be seen, with only their cheeky laughter as a calling card.

"Okay, whoever's pranking me, you got a really weird idea of how to do it!" Steven called out for his new opponent. "Where did they even get this much toilet paper?"

--

A little while later, Steven drove his now toilet paper-free car back home, where he noticed the front porch all decorated and music coming from inside.

"Another welcome party?" Steven muttered while noticing the welcome banner above his front door. "Oh, a new Gem must've come!"

As Steven walked inside, another banner saying 'Welcome Bluebird' hung over him and a piñata in his image were not too far away. Speaking with Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl was an unknown Gem with a burgundy bowl-cut, four legs, a pair of wings, and a suit jacket that was red on one side & blue on the other.

"Oh, hello Steven, our new friend here really wants to meet you." Pearl greeted Steven.

"Yeah, come over here and introduce yourself!" Amethyst added.

"Welcome to Earth." Steven greeted the new Gem politely. "My name's-"

"Of course I know who you are. Everyone does!" the new Gem interrupted him in a Cockney accent as she turned around to reveal that she was a fusion and had both her components' gems on her face. But they were two Gems that Steven recognized a little too well. In place of the fusion's left eye was a Ruby, and beneath it was an Aquamarine. "The old Gem savior himself, Steven Universe. Bluebird Azurite at your service." she declared before hugging him. "Come on now, give us a hug!"

"Cute." Garnet grinned.

"Oh, you like food, yes?" Bluebird asked a very unnerved Steven.

"Uh, yeah?" Steven replied sheepishly.

"Well sit tight then, I'll be right back!" Bluebird said before she flew away.

"What?!" Steven yelled.

"Yeah, she's just got here and already knows what she wants to do in life." Topaz said as she appeared next to Steven. "Isn't that great?"

"Don't you find this weird that the Gem who treated you like trash is suddenly all nice now?" Steven asked the big yellow fusion. "Why are you so chill?!"

"That was the past, Steven." Topaz assured Steven. "This is now, all thanks to you."

Just then, Bluebird returned to Steven with a plate of food. However, all of them were known to cause allergic reactions in people, as he observed.

"What's all this?" Steven asked.

"Why, it's food, of course!" Bluebird said as she presented the platter. "Clams, peanut butter, with a side of grass! Go on, try it."

"Yeah, don't wanna keep her waiting." Amethyst convinced Steven to try the dish.

"S-sure, I'll just dip this here." Steven reluctantly obliged, and took a bite of the grass. "Mmm!"

"Is it good?" Bluebird asked him.

"Yeah, I love it!" Steven fibbed in an attempt to keep their guest happy.

"Brilliant." Bluebird added with a cheeky grin.

"Can I see you guys in the bathroom?" Steven asked the Crystal Gems.

--

Greg was busy combing his hair in the bathroom when his son knocked on the door.

"Dad, it's Steven." Steven called for his dad. "We're gonna need you to let us in, emergency meeting."

After Greg let his son and friends in, Steven sat the Gems down to tell them what he thought of Bluebird. "Gems, I don't want to alarm you, but I think Bluebird may be a fusion of Aquamarine and Eyeball!"

"Uh, duh!" Amethyst exclaimed.

"It was incredibly obvious." Garnet added.

"Well, why are you guys so blasé about this?" Steven asked his guardians. "Did you suddenly forget when Aquamarine & Topaz came down to capture all my friends, and I had to surrender myself to save them? Or what about when Eyeball tried to kill me when we were stuck in space together? She also ratted me out during my trial!"

"Like Topaz said, that was then, and this is now." Pearl calmly assured him. "Besides, aren't you contradicting yourself a bit right now? I mean-"

"But I'm pretty sure they pranked me earlier at Little Homeworld." Steven explained. "They put a sign on my back saying I smelled good, switched my drink with tomato soup, and covered my car with neatly-stacked toilet paper."

"None of that seems particularly malicious," Garnet said. "Heck, Amethyst probably did one of those things at some point."

"It's true!" Amethyst responded. "There was this one time before you were born where Rose and I threw toilet paper all over town because Greg told us about it!"

"Besides, don't you like tomato soup?" Greg asked his son.

"Yeah, but don't you find it weird that she knew where I lived?" Steven asked.

"Steven, you've literally invited all problematic Gems across the universe to come to Earth and learn a better way of living." Pearl bluntly said.

"Listen Schtu-ball, if you don't like this new Gem, that's perfectly okay." Greg stated. "Just don't be so upfront about it and hurt her feelings."

"No, you're right guys." Steven agreed. "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"But if she really is more than she seems," Garnet declared. "we'll come in and squash her!"

"Thanks Garnet." Steven smiled at his favorite fusion before returning to the living room.

--

As Steven walked out of the bathroom, while the other Gems and Greg poked their heads outside, he found Bluebird chatting it up with Topaz by the couch. "Hey Bluebird!"

"Oh, hello Steven!" Bluebird cheerfully greeted him. "I was just reconnecting with an old chum and thought 'Hey, I should've given him something to wash all that food down with!' Want a drink?" she asked, offering him a soda.

"I'd love one." Steven accepted Bluebird's offer. "Y'know, maybe you two have changed." Just as Steven opened the can, soda squirted back in his face.

"Oh my, how did that happen?" Bluebird cheekily asked.

"YOU obviously shook it!" Steven accused the fusion of his old foes, when Garnet cleared her throat behind him.

"Chance to change." Garnet told Steven.

"You obviously shook it," Steven grumpily corrected himself. "By accident."

--

A while later, the party was over and everyone had left the beach house. As Steven walked downstairs to the living room, he discovered Bluebird holding a knife while Pearl was looking for something in the fridge.

"Pearl, watch out!" Steven cautioned Pearl. "Bluebird's got a knife!"

"Of course I did." Bluebird menacingly answered, but then immediately changed her tune. "Because I wanted to help cut this cake Pearl made for you!"

"Surprise!" Pearl exclaimed, presenting a cake with vanilla frosting that she got out of the fridge. On top of the cake was Steven's portrait, but his facial features were replaced with a butt. "Bluebird chose the design for me. You like it?"

Steven glared suspiciously at Bluebird as he stuck his finger in the cake, and licked the frosting off it.

--

Later on at Little Homeworld, Steven walked around to collect his thoughts when he discovered Bluebird grabbing Garnet and putting her in a wrestling hold. "Oh no, someone help! Bluebird's got Garnet!" he shrieked. "You let Garnet go this instant!"

"Don't fret Steven." Garnet calmed Steven's nerves as she was let go. "Bluebird was helping me do some stretches before I could teach her some yoga."

"Always important to stretch." The other fusion informed, eliciting an angry moan from Steven.

--

Back at home; Steven was angrily eating some Chaaaaps when he felt something that wasn't a chip inside the bag in his lap. In the bag, Steven discovered a poorly-drawn purple sketch of him with stink-lines surrounding him. "Ugh."

"What's up dude?" Amethyst asked him.

"Bluebird's really getting to me!" Steven complained as he showed the drawing to Amethyst. "I mean, look at this terrible drawing of me!"

"Steven, I-" Amethyst recognized the drawing as Steven scooped out more of them from his jacket.

"All of these too!" Steven cut Amethyst off. "I've been finding these awful scribbles all over!"

"Steven, these were all my drawings of you!" Amethyst began sobbing, and she ran away in tears.

"Amethyst, I'm sorry!" Steven tried apologizing to his Gem sister when Bluebird walked into the house.

"Aw, dry those tears, love, and tell me what's wrong." Bluebird comforted the bawling Quartz.

"Steven killed my art career before I could even get it off the ground!" Amethyst cried while Bluebird picked up her drawings.

"I don't know what art is," Bluebird said as she examined Amethyst's art. "but these are really good! They do need a little work, but I can help."

"Awww, thanks Bluebird!" Amethyst immediately cheered up. "In fact, I'm gonna do some more art right now! Wanna come?"

"Lead the way Amethyst!" Bluebird agreed, and the two left the house while Steven dropped his bag of Chaaaaps to the floor and angrily crushed it flat.

--

"Come on you flying rat; you can't be far." Steven growled as he searched Beach City for Bluebird, looking for something that would expose her components for being more than they seem, when he came across his father's car wash. "Oh, hey Dad!"

"AAAAAH!" Greg screamed from his Mister Universe van, catching Steven off-guard as he raced to the van.

"Dad, are you okay?!" Steven cried, finding the source of Greg's screaming to be him and Bluebird watching movies together.

"Hey Steven." Greg calmly greeted him. "I was just showing Bluebird my old-timey sci-fi horror flick collection."

"It's hilarious how poorly made they are!" Bluebird cackled at the flick she was currently watching. "Some of these 'special effects,' as he calls them, are so old-fashioned!"

"So what's going on, son?" Greg asked Steven, who forced a fake smile on his face. "And what's with your face? You're kind of creeping me out."

"I'm fine, Dad." Steven assured him as he walked away with creepy fake smile and all. "Everything's fine."

--

"And to make matters worse, they think those two have changed even after all the horrible things they did to us!" Steven later vented his feelings on Bluebird to Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth at Little Homeworld. "Please, you guys, I need someone to be on my side for once!"

"Oh, we're on your side Steven." Lapis assured her half-human pal, much to his relief. "After what Navy pulled, I don't really trust those Rubies all that much, especially her and Eyeball! Those other three working for the mayor, they're just meh."

"I don't trust Aquamarine either." Peridot added. "That blue runt's high and mighty attitude just keeps rubbing me incorrectly!"

"Don't you also hate Aquamarine because it's basically because of her we separated for a bit?" Lapis asked Peridot, who was just silent as she nervously looked away. "It's okay, you can open up to me."

"No way, she's not that petty!" Peridot said as she tried to hide her distress. Despite what the little Gem was saying, her body language told a whole different story.

"I just find Bluebird really creepy." Bismuth stated. "There's just something about that voice combined with her facial expressions that really give me chills."

Just then, a very loud clanging came straight from Bismuth's forge, and Cherry Quartz rushed out to see the four. "Bismuth, it's your forge! Someone's made a huge mess of the place!"

"Oh no!" Bismuth cried as she rushed to her forge to discover that the whole floor was now covered in all the weapons she helped build. "How could this have happened?! I was so careful to organize everything today!"

"Maybe Bluebird didn't like that you called her creepy." Peridot guessed.

"Well, I know something I hope they really won't like." Bismuth growled with determination. "Of course those little runts realize, this means war!"

--

Later that day, Bluebird had returned to Little Homeworld and was currently being given a tour of the town by Lapis, yet the fusion was unaware she was being led into a trap.

"Y'know, I'm feeling pretty parched." Lapis remarked sneakily. "You want a drink too?"

"Golly, I thought Gems didn't need sustenance." Bluebird wondered aloud.

"They don't really need to, but some Gems on Earth just like to eat." Lapis answered as they walked up to a conspicuous cooler filled with soft drinks. "Now then, which would you like? We got soda, OJ, purple stuff, two kinds of this other type of orange juice."

"I'll have the purple stuff!" Bluebird cheerily answered. Lapis took a purple soda can from the cooler and gave it a good shake, giggling all the way, before handing it to Bluebird and then turning away from her while plugging her ears.

After a few seconds, nothing happened, and Bluebird didn't drink the purple stuff. "Where's the kaboom?" Lapis wondered as she turned back to Bluebird. "There was supposed to be a big carbonated kaboom!"

"Oh, there seems to be something wrong." Bluebird observed the can slyly before handing it back to the terraformer. "Do you think you can help?"

But as Lapis realized, Bluebird didn't even open the can at all. "What the?!" she stuttered while taking the can from the small fusion. "You didn't even open-" When Lapis opened the can of purple stuff herself; she got a face full of the drink squirting directly in her face instead. As Bluebird laughed heartily, Lapis angrily crushed the can and glared back as Bluebird flew away.

"I already tried that trick Lazuli!" Bluebird cackled. "Try something original next time!"

Lapis's eye began to twitch as she dropped the can to the ground, fighting the urge to just launch Bluebird into space with a water fist.

--

"This is something humans like to do with their disposal units." Peridot explained to Bluebird as they stood by a metal trashcan atop the hill where the lighthouse sat. "You just insert yourself into the unit and just roll it down this hill. Now then, would you like to go first?"

"No, maybe you should go first." Bluebird suggested while offering Peridot a pair of rather unusual looking gloves from one of her gemstones. "And take these too. Safety first!"

"Where did you get these gloves?" Peridot asked as she put the gloves on. "They seem like old Homeworld equipment."

"Just found them lying around one day, nothing too important." Bluebird fibbed just as Peridot entered the trashcan. "Okay, are you ready chum?"

"Let 'er rip!" Peridot yelled from within the can before Bluebird kicked it, and it rolled down the hill with Peridot inside it. "ISN'T THIS FUN BLUEBIRD?!"

"Oh yes, plenty of fun." Bluebird snickered and walked away backwards from where the trashcan once stood.

"Wait, where are you going?" Peridot called as the can continued rolling. She tried to stop it with her ferrokinesis, but they didn't seem to work. "My stars, these old gloves are nullifying my powers!" she realized, and turned her attention to Bluebird in anger. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU CLO-"

However, Peridot couldn't finish when the can finally collided with a wall, and her head poked out in a daze. "You're despicable." She hissed hatefully while stars danced around her head.

--

"Well, guess it's all up to me now." Bismuth declared to herself with Lapis and Peridot's failures to prank Bluebird. She now stood alone at the Warp Pad at the center of Little Homeworld where the barn once stood, in front of a mixer filled with lava. "She ain't ever gonna know what hit her."

"Who isn't going to know what hit her?" Bluebird asked rhetorically before she poured the lava in the mixer on Bismuth, though Bismuth barely felt a thing.

"You know this literally does nothing to Bismuths, right?" Bismuth asked as Bluebird took her leave.

--

"What happened to you guys?" Steven asked the soaked Lapis, dizzy Peridot, and mildly irritated Bismuth as they reported back to him on their efforts in the prank war.

"Bluebird saw my prank coming since she already tried it herself." Lapis answered.

"My mental powers were nullified by these old Homeworld gloves." Peridot added as she presented the gloves. "I think I'll keep them for further study."

"I barely got to do anything before Bluebird turned my own prank against me!" Bismuth whined in defeat.

"Oh, come now, put a smile on your face." Bluebird said as she landed behind the four. Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth turned around to see the little fusion before them, and immediately dropped to their knees with hands out and heads bowed. "Now, what's all this for?"

"We now recognize you as a superior prankster." Lapis declared.

"And now we must grovel in your presence!" Peridot theatrically added.

"We shall concede from this prank war, in recognition of the superior tricker." Bismuth stated.

"Guys, you can't just give up this easily!" Steven yelled angrily before he noticed his body taking on a slight pink hue. "That's four times now." He said to himself. "This can't be healthy."

"Oh, well, thank you all for the compliments!" Bluebird thanked the other three Gems. "Hopefully we can get up to more mischief together someday!"

As Bluebird flew away, Steven stomped to the Warp Pad and used it to return home with barely a word.

"Steven wait, we're sorry!" Peridot cried as Steven vanished from Little Homeworld.

"He's right. We gave up a little too easily." Lapis agreed with her Beach Summer Fun Buddy. "Maybe we should go apologize to him in the morning. You wanna come with Bismuth?"

"Sorry, I got a whole day of cleaning up the forge ahead of me." Bismuth rejected the chance. "But be sure to tell me if things turn out okay."

--

The next morning, Steven woke up in his room, the events of yesterday still fresh in his mind. From Bluebird's arrival, to almost no one believing him when he claimed that she was up to no good, and finally the help of the B-team proving pretty much useless, it was a very hectic day for him.

When Steven went downstairs to the bathroom, he discovered Bluebird's gemstones drawn on his face in the mirror. "Oh, haha." He muttered. "Very funny Bluebird."

Just then, the Warp Pad activated, followed by the sound of tires screeching. As Steven rushed out of the bathroom, he found Greg's van somehow in his living room, a trail of tire tracks left behind in its wake. "How did the van?" Steven asked himself in sheer confusion. "Oh, gotcha. I guess Bluebird and Dad must be having a ball." Just then, he heard someone cry out. "I guess they're watching another of his horror movies. I'm sure everything's fine."

Greg's cries for help proved otherwise, and Steven bolted outside to search for his human father. "It's okay Steven. Bluebird is cool." Steven assured himself. "Dad?"

"Up here son!" Greg screamed as Bluebird dangled him by the ankle on the roof.

"Are those screams of fun?!" Steven called.

"No they ain't!" Greg exclaimed. "Please help me, you were right!"

"An era ago, there were two Gems worshipped on Homeworld for their attempts on the life of their greatest traitor!" Bluebird declared. "But when he brainwashed everyone into worshipping him, those two were cast out and now have come to Earth for revenge!"

As Bluebird leaped into the air, she began to unfuse. "And now he shall rue the day he ever crossed-" To cap off her speech, Bluebird's components finally revealed herself.

"Aquamarine!"

"And Ruby!"

Steven and Greg didn't have anything to say to the two old foes.

"Well, it's us!" Aquamarine cried impatiently.

"Yeah, it was us all along, and no one ever knew!" Eyeball added.

"I always knew. Everybody knew." Steven replied. "You were really poor at hiding it."

"Well if you knew, why was everyone so nice to us?!" Eyeball yelled.

"Because we're nice!" Steven argued. "Something you don't know about!"

"Nice people, my facet!" Eyeball shouted. "You left me to rot in space!"

"And it's because of you that I'm a disgrace to our kind!" Aquamarine agreed. "Ugh, enough of this!" she groaned angrily before grabbing Greg again, this time by the hair, while Eyeball pulled her chisel from her gem.

"Hey, careful with my dad!" Steven cautioned the pair of angry Gems as he summoned his shield. "If this is another one of your pranks, then I'm not laughing, so you better cut it out!"

"That was just something to soften you up." Eyeball declared menacingly. "Now, the real torture begins!"

"We learned so much about you and your life Steven," Aquamarine taunted. "especially how you love My-Dad so much! But if you want him alive, you'll have to agree to our demands. Like destroying your home!"

"Yeah!" Eyeball added.

"Bubbling your friends and handing them over to us!" Aquamarine continued.

"YEAH!" Eyeball began getting more sadistically pumped up.

"And burning that silly Little Homeworld to ashes!" the little blue Gem stated.

"DO IT!" Eyeball shouted.

While Aquamarine and Eyeball were threatening Greg's life, they were caught off-guard by a few water droplets from above, coming from Lapis's wings as she and Peridot flew to see Steven.

"Oh crack, those two." Eyeball growled at the barn-mates while Lapis touched down to where Steven was standing.

"Hey Steven, we wanted to stop by because we didn't get a chance to apologize for yester-" Lapis began explaining to Steven, but immediately got distracted by the current situation. "Um, did we miss something?"

"It's Aquamarine and Eyeball!" Steven panicked. "They're out for revenge and they want me to do horrible things or else Dad gets killed!"

"Of course you'd sink that low, you filthy outcasts!" Peridot snarled at the other short Gems. "First, you took Steven away Aquamarine, and that led to some of the worst days of my life! Now, I'm gonna make you pay dearly!"

"Oh, here are some friends you can poof boy." Aquamarine told Steven. "Go on, listen to us for once."

"Never!" Steven rejected.

"Then My-Dad gets it!" Aquamarine threatened, but Eyeball was a little confused.

"Gets what?" the Ruby asked quizzically.

"Gets it!" Aquamarine scolded her partner. "It's like in those movies he showed us."

"Oh right!" Eyeball realized with a malicious laugh, and prepared to kill their human captive. However, Greg wasn't going to take this lying down.

"That's enough!" Greg yelled as he snatched Eyeball's chisel from her hand and used it to free himself by cutting his hair short, causing him to fall from Aquamarine's grasp.

"No!" Steven yelled.

"I got you!" Lapis exclaimed, summoning forth a water hand to catch Mr. Universe with. "Are you alright?"

"Just bereft of my glorious locks." Greg said mournfully when Aquamarine dropped the remainder of his hair next to him. "Oh my baby!" he cried before rushing to comfort the clump of hair.

"How could you let this happen, you meager soldier?!" Aquamarine yelled at Eyeball.

"You were distracting me!" Eyeball argued.

"I was directing you, My-Dad just caught us by surprise!" Aquamarine talked back.

As Steven, Peridot and Lapis watched the two enemy Gems bicker, Steven turned to his mourning dad. "Father, get inside."

"I'm sorry, Steven." Greg said boldly. "But after how they dangled me off the roof and made me lose my hair, I want in!" Just then, he got an idea. "In fact."

After whispering something into his son's ear, Greg fist bumped Steven, and it caused the two to glow right before everyone else's eyes. And as a result, the father and son fusion Steg was reborn, this time with a mullet in addition to his massive pompadour.

"He can fuse with humans?!" Aquamarine shrieked in surprise. "We were never told this!"

"Oh my stars!" Lapis and Peridot gasped in unison.

"This one goes out to all awesome hair across the stars." Steg boomed while summoning a double-necked guitar that he began playing. "I call this one, 'We Ain't Gonna Let You Get Away With This!'"

"Three against two?" Eyeball said nervously. "Y'know, I think maybe it's time we-" She was cut off by Steg braining her with his guitar while he turned pink.

"If you're saying we should run or surrender, you are sorely mistaken!" Aquamarine yelled while dodging attacks from Lapis. "They fused just now, somehow, so we must fuse in order to win!"

"Fine, whatever." Eyeball groaned as she noticed Peridot scampering into the house and racing back out with a kitchen knife to match the Ruby's chisel.

Eyeball raced away from the green Gem in fright and grabbed onto the fleeing Aquamarine's hand in an attempt to fuse, but it was cut short by the combined forces of their disharmony and Steg throwing Steven's shield between them that sent them flying face-first into the sand.

"What was that?" Eyeball asked.

"That was bad form you corun-dummy!" Aquamarine insulted. "Try again!"

The two of them attempted to fuse again, and again, and again, but every time resulted in failure. "That's it!" Eyeball yelled. "I've had it with you!"

"Tsk tsk tsk." Steg tutted smugly as he returned to his normal self and approached the arguing duo. "You guys only fused to get revenge on me, didn't you?"

"Yes, that's exactly it!" Aquamarine replied. "The only problem is she's too much of a moron to keep us together!"

"Me the moron?!" Eyeball shouted. "You're way too much of a bossy-boots!"

"If that's the reason, then I can see why you can't keep it together." Lapis stated from experience.

"What are you three talking about?!" Aquamarine asked scornfully.

"There are so many other reasons to fuse." Steg explained. "Like friendship, responsibility, maybe even love."

"Imagine how much better your lives would be if you fused to support each other instead of wanting to ruin someone's life." Peridot agreed with the massive fusion.

"She's right." Steg continued. "Your life would be filled with so much love and joy and friendship and warmth and-"

"Yes yes, blah blah blah!" Aquamarine rudely cut Steg off. "Ugh, love is so annoying!"

"I hate it as much as I hate Steven!" Eyeball agreed, but then the two realized something they had in common.

"Yeah, me too!" Aquamarine and Eyeball declared to each other as they fused back into Bluebird, much to Steg's irritation.

"This is bad comedy." Steg facepalmed as Bluebird triumphantly returned.

"Ah-ha, back in business!" Bluebird announced before summoning a cutlass made out of ice to attack Steg with, but he blocked the sword with his shield.

"En garde!" Bluebird cackled with a swing of her sword, spawning ice projectiles that turned into smaller cutlasses landing on the ground.

"Steven, why is the van inside the house?" Pearl asked while she, Garnet, and Amethyst emerged from the beach house as the fusion fight went on.

"Whatever Greg did, can you tell him to stop?" Amethyst asked before she let out a loud scream at what they were seeing. "Hey, is that Steg?!"

"We can explain everything, honest!" Peridot tried to apologize for everything that's happened.

"No need." Garnet boomed stoically while glaring daggers at Bluebird, continuing to swipe at Steg's shield.

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Bluebird shrieked violently when she noticed a certain group of three angry Gems. "Oh, if it isn't my favorite trio!" she exclaimed while innocently hiding her cutlass behind her back.

The Crystal Gems responded by fusing together into a very grouchy Alexandrite who towered over Bluebird Azurite and raised one hand forward.

"Oh no." the rogue fusion whimpered before she was squashed flat by Alexandrite. As Alexandrite un-fused back into Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Steven & Greg un-fused and gazed at the groaning Aquamarine & Ruby.

"Are you two okay?" Steven asked while Greg raced to collect his cut hair.

"Oh no, we have been defeated!" Aquamarine theatrically declared. "Now we'll be forcibly indoctrinated into your lifestyle like every Gem before us!"

"Yep." Eyeball replied as she rubbed her head.

"I've completely learned my lesson." Aquamarine stated. "I'm sorry Steven. Please accept my apology so that we may become defenseless pacifists just like you." When she extended a hand to Steven, Steven brought his out too, expecting to give her a handshake, but she childishly snatched her gloved hand away. "GOTCHA!"

"Don't you run away you runts!" Peridot yelled while Aquamarine took Eyeball's hand and they flew away.

"You rebels may have gotten us this time, but we'll be out there!" Aquamarine declared haughtily.

"Hating you!" her Ruby partner added.

"Forever!" Aquamarine concluded as they flew far away from the Gems, presumably never to be seen for a long time.

"You smell!" Eyeball jeered as loud as she could.

"Think we'll really see them again?" Lapis wondered.

"Who knows Lapis?" Garnet replied. "But if they pull off what they did just now, we'll be there."

"I guess there are Gems out there who still hate your guts." Amethyst contemplated.

"Well, I'm not the only one they wanted to hurt." Steven replied while looking at Greg, sitting by the ocean with his hair in his arms. "I'm really sorry, Dad." Steven apologized to his father while sitting by him. "I never should've given Bluebird a chance."

"I love how you believe in everyone." Greg sighed to his son while drying his tears. "You stuck to your principles, and that made me proud. But sometimes, some people don't want to change."

"Yeah." Steven sighed as well, before Greg let his hair drift in the water.

"See you around, old friend." Greg bid farewell to his locks. "You're finally free."

--

Later that day, Aquamarine and Eyeball continued giggling as they found somewhere safe to hide in the woods close to Beach City.

"You have to admit, it was hilarious how that My-Dad was so attached to his hair." Eyeball admitted to her blue cohort.

"I mean, it's just hair!" Aquamarine agreed. "But enough about mocking others' misfortune, give me the communicator."

"You got it." Eyeball obeyed and began searching around her person for what her new friend requested. "Uh, where is it again?"

"In your gem you dolt!" Aquamarine yelled.

"Oh, right." Eyeball realized, pulling a black, octahedral object from her gemstone and handing it to Aquamarine. After Aquamarine gave it a few turns, the object slowly rose above the two and transformed into a screen displaying a coded message.

"Your clarity, we have garnered some minor success on our espionage mission." Aquamarine announced to the screen while positing her arms in a rectangular salute. "Though our cover was blown, we now know that he can somehow perform fusion with humans. Tell us, do you have any further orders?"

The screen replied by giving a coded message to Aquamarine that Eyeball couldn't understand. "Uh, what's it saying?" Eyeball asked.

"It's saying we must return to headquarters and await further instructions." Aquamarine translated the message. "A craft is being sent to our current location to bring us back."

As Aquamarine declared, a small, orb-like white space pod with a single red window at the entrance instantly warped to Earth via lightspeed and opened its door for the two Gems to board.

"Haha, just you wait Steven!" Eyeball shouted to the sky. "Your precious little family will soon be done for!"

The two little Gems cackled evilly as they entered the pod, and it blasted off back into space. But they didn't realize that a certain orange Gem was watching close by, and had a disgruntled look on her face all the while.

--

And so ends Bluebird. Fun fact, Steg was completely last minute as I thought it would be cool if he fought Aquamarine and Eyeball. Speaking of which, if you couldn't tell by now, Aquamarine & Eyeball will have a much bigger role than in Regular Future going forward as they now answer directly to our mystery villain from Cracks and Buds. So first we had Holly Blue Agate, and now these two? What could this ne'er-do-well have planned with these old villains? We'll just have to wait and see. Speaking of which, I should really get back to a certain other Steven Universe fanfiction.

[c-atm]

Fighting Flirty:Sparring

First, never let it be said that Steven Quartz Universe and Connie Yasha Maheswaran do not take their responsibilities seriously, because they do.

They really do.

In terms of Steven, it's not uncommon to see him up and about Beach city or Little Homeworld, just checking in to see how everything's going. It's not obscure to hear about him visiting Homeworld and seeing if any gems want to be a part of a new settlement on earth or trying to help gem-kind integrate with the galaxy...Opposed to hollowing it out. It's an exhausting job but it's worth it.

For Connie, along with her college work and responsibilities to her family; the young woman has made herself indispensable to both Homeworld and Earth, thanks to her partial (slowly becoming full-time if funding comes through)  directorial position at research and development. Combing through results reports of current experiments, proposing and conducting new ones, updating successful ones and reworking previous failures for future successes. All for the dream of uniting and advancing both humanity and gem-kind through understanding, teamwork and technology.

Though, nothing is easy and while Era 3 is peaceful...It’s relative. There are threats out there that would like nothing more for everything Steven, Connie and their allies (Human, Gem and otherwise) built, to be destroyed. Which makes such things as the dojo like 'room' of Little Homeworld R&D's sub-basement, relevant even now..

Created via gem magic similar to the gem temple, with it bamboo like floors that was a football field long, walls adorned with melee weaponry of all types and have it's own artificial atmosphere to match the actual weather, the room has been a perfect way to keep from overworking.

It was made to give both gems and humans incentive to keep up with the physical aspects of their life, while trying to change the world through science.

Some slept in it as it drowned out a lot of the sounds within R&D, others use it as a place of meditation, while others use it for its intended purpose..

Thus times like this are a normal occurrence.

"Ok, Heartberry, " Steven called out as he hopped in place dressed in a pair of yellow trunks and white tank top. Wrapped around his knuckles, wrist, palm and fingers was athletic tape, same with the ball of his feet, ankles and heels. A topknot held by a blue band. " How are we gonna play this?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass and you're gonna love it."

Steven scoffed out a laugh as he turned around to the source. "AWWOOOO!" he gave a wolfish whistle, "You just might be right. Starting with mental warfare?"

"Battles are won before they are fought." Connie sagely teased.

"Sun-tzu? I wanna say Sun-tzu."

"Sun-tzu, indeed Mister." Connie smirked. "I am impressed."

"That's my aim...So, I'm guessing that little number is to ensure your victory." Steven looked up and down her form.

"Well that, and your gaze over me." Connie flirted as she stretched a bit, snickering at the hungry eyed hybrid.

Her outfit was very simple. A royal blue halter top leotard, a pair of mid thigh, yoga shorts of the same color with red trim. She too wore athletic tape in the same way as Steven, and had her hair in her normal braid, with a pink scrunchy at the very beginning of it.

"You didn't have to do all that just for my sight. You could have worn your normal Kalaripayattu attire."

"Yeah, but it's way too hot in here for those.. They’re kind of weighted and they hold sweat." She gave him a playful stance, her hands folded behind her back as she stretched. "This is much lighter and sweat drips off my body."

"Plus, a lot more distracting. Gonna have to watch where I grab you."  Steven noted with bitten lips.

"Are you complaining? Cause your tone..It doesn't match your face, Mister." Connie gave him an accusative side-eye.

"Just taking notes. Beautiful, wonderful,  sensual notes. Don't wanna make a...Mistake"

The small husk in his tone made Connie toes flex. "Oh, I'm sure you would enjoy that." She licked her lips.

Steven nodded with a smirk, "Happy accidents, though I can't be blamed." He grinned darkly, "You effectively cut down the number of ways I could pin you."

Connie nodded hand on her hips as she stretched back. "That's the point, making it harder for you to win."

He walked over to her grabbing her over the waist, getting a giggle as she rested her hands on his chest "Well, l already have you in my arms, right?" He teased before blowing gently on her neck.

"Bi~iisky" She felt herself tremble under his air, giggling in pleasure. "It's already sweltering in here…Making me hotter, isn't fair." She melted running her hands slowly through his hair.

"I just wanna make you sweat." He whispered playfully in her ear.

"You're certainly an expert on the matter..." She breathed deeply as she pulled him closer, her eyes trained on his topknot.  She sighed feeling his hand run up her back, to her shoulders, caressing her nape.  

"Your touch always makes me...Nope!" Her eyes widened as she pushed him away leaping back herself. Holding the back of her head, feeling her scrunchy still in place. "You cheeky biscuit."

"Can you really blame me for a preemptive strike."Steven responded with a laugh at her blushing face. "After all battles are won before they're fought, right?"

"Don't you dare spit the art of war back at me!" Connie stated as she marched towards him, eyes ablaze in determination and competition.

"It's true though, right?" Steven walked towards her looking smug." Besides, you were the one who was eyeing my top knot. Can you blame me for making a move?"

In the center of the sweltering dojo, the two stood. The only light in the room being noon sun, that gently graced the room and them through blinded windows.

The only smell being the slight sweat coming from them and the humidity of the room itself.

The only sounds being the very faint machinery from one of the labs on the floors above and below and their own breathing.

"So, how do you wanna do this Heartberry?" Steven offered dipping close to her face.

" Same as always, first to retrieve their hair piece, or make the other forfeit, wins." She stood still and slightly parted her lips. in preparedness.

“Starting with a kiss?" he teased as he cupped her cheeks.

"Any other way to do it?" She cupped his own, pulling him closer.

Steven chuckled before she took his lips with her own. passionate, loving and telling. their tongues twisted as their lips brushed, and teeth gently nipped at each other. Their faces burning hot from the emotion and both inner and outer heats as slight moans and whimpers slipped out. They broke the kiss opening their eyes in tandem, giving each other a giggle of bliss, resting their foreheads on together.

"No Diamond state. Quartz strength is ok." She pecked his lips.

"No pressure points. or crushing blows." He returned her peck a bit more tenderly than hers, making her purr with a nod.

"Good luck." They shared one last kiss before slipping into a ready stance.

Steven's stance was unorthodox, with a lower center of gravity, his left foot in front of his body with his right pointed to the side and his hand waist height by his side.

In opposition, Connie's stance was similar to her sword stance. Her body lowered, her left foot pointed forward in front of her with her right following.  While she held her hands in the same positions she would if she had her sword.They were open palmed, held straight up as if acting as blades themselves.

The two stood in smirking silence for a moment, before Steven stepped forward expecting Connie to step back. He was slightly surprised to see her left hand shoot forward towards his hair, causing him to skip back out of her reach.  He scoffed as he returned to his stance  

“Chu. Chu. Chu.”

Steven nodded his head at Connie’s kissing taunt, sucking his teeth. “Really, ok.”

Connie chuckled as she  moved closer, shortening the space in two steps . She  evaded a grab at her hair by shifting her body to the left before throwing a left jab to his chest only to be blocked back by his forearm. She followed through with a right palm to the body which was met with his own palm, resulting in a responding clap as they interlocked.

Steven took another swing at scrunchy with his free hand and was parried by Connie knocking his wrist upward with her own, before ducking an attempt at his topknot. He smirked mischievously as he swept the back of her knees, causing her to fall on her ass.

“Nice move.” Connie praised him with a grimace as he helped her up to her feet. Rubbing her butt when she was up.

“Thank you.” He gave her a healing kiss, taking the pain away and enticing a little pleasure, releasing her hand and stepping back a bit before getting in his stance. “ You’re ready?”

Connie nodded before sliding into her own.“ Whenever you are, Mister.”

Unlike before, there was no waiting between the two. Steven missed a sidekick toward her hip as she dropped into a split, smiling up at his dumbfoundedness.   .

“Impressed” She teased, her chin in her hands as she bent forward on to the floor. giving him a flirty grin.

“That and a little hot.” he breathed deeply “ Have I ever told you I love your body control.”

“You have...showed me a few times too.” She chuckled. “Always nice to hear and with that being said.” She spun her body around tripping him off his feet, while she kik-up to hers. She smiled a bit worryingly at how he landed on his back. “ You ok?”

“ Come on, I’m sturdy and you know that.” Steven gave her a reassuring grin as he climbed to his feet and slipped into his stance. “ Ready to continue when you are.”

“That’s my man.”

Steven couldn’t help the blush and the feeling of pride towards the adoration in her voice and gaze as she got in her ready stance.  That quickly changed to alertness as Connie shot forward with a jab toward his face and stopped an inch away, as he put up a guard with his left arm. Only to feel her palm collide with his left side causing him to yelp in surprise and take a step back as she gave chase, putting him on a complete defense as Connie kept up the assault; attacking with quick, precise hits against his blocking.

Connie cocked back ready to steal his top knot.  She grinned as left hand shot  forward ready to grasp victory, and to lose balance when he slipped to her right side  and feel the pop of his knuckles on her back.

“ Hey!” She turned around tying catch him only feel two more pop on her thigh and hip. “ Hmmph! She turned again and felt a nip on her neck “ Oh no you don’t!” she chuckled before backing away and being chased by Steven.

“ I’m coming, Connie. You can’t run!” He taunted as he took a playful swipe at her waist.    

“Yes I can!” Connie responded as she continued to evade and block by each swipe. “But I won’t!”

Steven was surprised when she dipped very low to the floor and moved forward, passing his grasp, grabbing his arms as she stood and pulling him to a kiss. Steven felt himself melt temporarily forgetting the current situation and kissing her back, his hands clasping.

Giving Connie the moment she needed to grab his tank top, sweep his feet from under him, and pinned him under her straddling him and never breaking the kiss.

"Ooh.You really got me falling for your kiss." Steven joked as he broke the kiss, tickling under her arms, making her laugh and release him. He nipped her nose before  rolling to the side and pinning her under him, his knees against her thighs keeping the spread open as his hand held hers down.

"Cheater." Steven reprimanded with the devil's grin.

"I prefer the term, tactician." She responded in kind. "Shouldn't wear such a grab-able shirt."

" Ohh! Really? " He nipped her neck, making her squeal in laughter.

"No.. Not that!" Connie struggled to get away from the affectionate assault. Pushing against his hands as she tried not to melt under him. "You won't break me, Universe. My will is a strong as my…",

She was interrupted by his nips becoming a bite and suckling.

"Hhhash~Hmmmm." She felt her body relax under him." No….This is ...So sweaty and hot and nic--I mean unfair."

"This is strategy." Steven teased in her ear, watching her wither in pleasure and slight embarrassment.

"Not gonna surrender!!!." Connie roared as she raised her hips off the floor.

In a feat physiological mastery, Connie lifted him off his feet as she tossed them both in a somersault that resulted in Connie straddling Steven just below his chest with their hands still interlocked

"What was that?!" Steven stated in dazed amazement. That soon was coupled with an excited caution as he looked up at her domineering gaze and grin. He gulped when she licked her top lip, hungrily. The way the light gave her a casting shadow didn't help either.

"Tenacity, determination, years of physical conditioning, constant healing both magical and not.. "Her voice was cool and direct. She got close to his face with a predatory sneer. "And the need to make.." She kissed and sucked on his bottom lip causing some trembling.

"You.." She trailed down to his windpipe, her voice getting more seductive as she let go of his hand.

"Yield." She stated as she moved lower straddling his stomach and squeezing his sides with her calves, bringing her free hand down to his exposed gem.

"Ooh.. that's  so.." He brought  his head back as the pleasure of her mouth on his throat and the cool tender touch upon his gem racked his body. "This..this is much. torment..:

"Oh.." She taunted as he kissed him. "Are you gonna break under me?"  She rubbed his gem with her palm as if it was being polish, making him moan into her mouth..which in term made her follow suit.

"No." He growled in defiance as his free arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her in to deepen and take the lead of the kiss.

'No..No no.. I'm not losing to him!' Connie raged inside fighting the want to melt. Rubbing his gem with more affection taking care to give each facet attention, while turning the drawn out make-out to a battle of nips and quick pecks.

"Give in to the affection." Connie ordered as she kissed his trembling lips, the pleasurable feeling of his hand moving to her seat, causing her heart to race.

I want to.. really I do but.. " He pinched her hip causing her to yelp in surprise.

"Hey now! That can wait.-" .

"No,  it Can't!" He stole a kiss before rolling her over to the side.

The two broke the kiss, breathing deeply, before chuckling.

"So..can this be considered training?" Steven asked, feeling how red his lip was.

"I think it's good grappling and resilience training." Connie chuckled, "Though.. I don't know if I have a high resistance to you and your affection."

"Says the one who threw me off guard with a kiss and then rubbed my gem." He retorted, bringing her into a cuddle.

"It's my game plan. The perfect Steven game plan... Weaponized love."

Steven arched an eyebrow at the prideful woman."Really?"

"Yup." She dug into her pocket to pull out his blue hair band. "See, I won."

Steven checked his head with his free hand and true enough, his topknot was gone. "Mischievous  Minx", he teased before digging into his trunks and pulling out her pink scrunchy.

"When!?"  Connie demanded tapping his chest.

"When you let go of my hand to mess with my gem." He spoke proudly.

"Ha, you lose! Got it before I tossed you over." She grinned at his dumbfounded face.

"What?! When!"

Connie blushed before she sat up rubbing her neck. "While you were giving me such a good time on my neck. I slipped it off with my teeth." She said with a boast.

Steven pursed his lips before giving in to his pride. "Such an amazing partner I have." He stood on to his feet, before helping her up as well.

Connie nodded. "Of course. Anything less than that is not permitted."

"Now is that so." He grinned, pulling her close.

Connie rubbed his cheek, giving him a loving gaze. "You give me your all and more, everyday Mister." She answered matter factually, before giving him a peck on his forehead. "And you deserve what you give. Just glad that it's me who gets your adoration and gets to give it back to you."

Steven pursed his lips in disagreement. "I don't know, it seems like I'm the lucky one in that scenario. " He teased resting his foreheads on hers.

"Boy, I will fight you on this.” Connie gave him a toothy, amorous side grin, folding her hands upon his nape.

“Oh really?” Steven snicked as his voice dropped to a seductive baritone.”

“Uh-huh.” She laughed.

“Well we’re in a dojo, Berry” He gave her a kiss “Bring it on.”

“Ok Mister, you asked for this” She ‘warned’ as she led him down to mat, ready for another round of sparring.

[fumbling-fanfics]

Imagine having a second child with Viktor Drago...

So I wrote this because @lady-olive-oil was insistant on killing people off, lol. Love you Liv!

I also kind of forgot I wrote this so there was more I wanted to write but I forgot those parts.

**********************************************

You weren't meant to give birth so early. But here you were sitting in a nice relaxing bath, Lily on the bathroom floor drawing more pictures for Viktor while you soaked. If you were honest the contractions had started early in the morning, but they varied between 4hrs and 3 minutes apart. So you had ignored them. But now it was 2 in the afternoon you were pretty sure you were having contractions - the proper ones.

"Lily baby, can you pass mommy here phone please" her little head popped up beside the bath with a big smile. "Are you going to ring daddy? Can I talk to him?" she asked as she disappeared out of the bathroom.

Viktor should have been the one you were going to call but he wasn't.

"I'm going to call Aunt Jenny" you smile kissing her forehead in thanks letting her get back to her drawing. "I'll make Aunt Jenny a picture too" she states, paper rustling about. You pressed the call button next to Jenny's picture (a picture of her and lily at the beach) and waited for her to answer.

"Thank god you called. I'm so tired, I'm literally falling asleep at my desk… What's new?" she sang.

"Code Red" you whispered down the phone.

"Huh?" you can hear the frowns of confusion on Jenny's face. "Oh, Lily, I can go get her from preschool" you could here her moving around more on her end.

"No, Lily's here with me-"

"Hi Aunt Jenny!" Lily called from the floor, voice echoing off the bathroom tiles.

"Oh" Jenny was frowning again.

"The other code red, the new one. The second one" you watched Lily for a reaction but she was absorbed back into her drawing.

"Shit" Jenny shouted.

"Shit, shit, shit! SHIT! Are you sure? It's not those fake ones, those pickle hiccup contraction things" she panicked, you could hear things being knocked around and a draw open and then slam closed.

"You mean Braxton Hicks, and no"

"You're not due for like another 2 months, I'm looking at my calendar. It says on my calender" you could hear her voice go up an octave in panic. You were pretty sure she was also poking the calender too.

Jenny was down as your second birthing partner, after Viktor of course. But since Viktor was away for a fight that was still wasn't due for another 6 weeks, Jenny had happily (and in a drunken state) assured Viktor she'd be your number two should anything happen. But it would be fine because nothing would happen because you still had two months to go.

"I know, I know...Can you maybe come anyway, and maybe it'll be fine by the time you get here"

"Of course, I'm leaving now" she hung up quickly.

"Will Auntie Jenny bring me jellies" Lily asked, pencils poised in her hand.

"Maybe" you laugh, glad she oblivious to what's happening.

By the time Jenny arrived you were out of the bath and sitting in the living room on your yoga ball wondering if you should call Viktor or not.

He'd flown back to the states to fight again, and really concentrate on getting ready as this opponent was almost equal in size to Viktor. You knew if you called him he'd freak out and even fly back (or walk if he had to).

"(Y/n)!!!" Jenny practically screamed, slamming the door closed. You could hear her but not see her. Lily sprinted off to find her Aunt, and reappeared on Jenny's hip.

"Are they for real?" she asked looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I think so, they've just got worse"

"Auntie bought me jellies!" Lily waved the box and then wriggled out of Jenny's arms and ran off. At least she was occupied.

****

“Is it okay to make a call?" you asked in the back of the ambulance. The female paramedic nodded as she carried on writing things down.

Jenny was following in her car with Lily and your hospital bags.

You pressed the call button and held the phone against your ear. There was a series of tial tones, including the international one.

"Hello" it was a quick, short answer.

"Ivan, it's y/n" slight relief washed over you hearing his voice.

"Hello. You want to speak to Viktor?"

"No, no, no, no, no" there were too many no's for Ivan's liking - he felt worried but the fact you weren't crying and he could understand you made him worry a tiny bit less.

Ivan said something in Russian but you couldn't hear, it was muffled, like he had his hand over the mouthpiece. There was the sound of a metal door slamming closed and then silence.

"What's wrong?"

"The baby, its early" there was a long pause from both of you - you both didn't know what to say.

"I'll get Viktor"

"No don't...I mean I know he needs to know, but not right now. You know he'll get on the first plane back, won't think twice about the fight. I can't let him do that." Ivan said nothing but also agreed. But he also wanted to tell his son. Congratulate him, tell everyone in the training room - he had another grandchild.

"I'll let him know it was all my idea not to tell him, just try and act like everything's normal. Please?“

“Are you okay? Are you at the hospital?" the concern in Ivan's voice broke you and you started to cry.

"I'm fine. I'm on my way in an ambulance"

"Are you on your own?" he sound panicked. "Where's Lily?"

"She's following in a car with Jenny" Ivan remembered Jenny from when she came to the beach that day. Ivan was struck by how caring Jenny was with Lily - making sure she ate and drank enough while still having fun.

"She must call me" you nodded even tho Ivan couldn't see you.

"Here" the paramedic handed you a tissue to dry your eyes. "Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay"

***

Olivia May Drago, born 2 months early but otherwise healthy.

Jenny had called Ivan to let him know everything was okay - you were okay, Lily was okay (but probably had new found profession as some sort of Antinal Nurse specialising in premature babies) and that Viktor's new baby girl was okay too. It was only when Jenny came back into the room, an hour later did you realise she had been talking to Ivan for an hour. "He's so funny, Ivan" she said with a smile on her face. You raised a quizzical eyebrow at her as she peered into the neonatal cot to look at Olivia. "Did you just say Ivan's funny?“ you asked, maybe the drugs were making you hear things." Yeah, the jokes he cracks. But otherwise he says he's glad everyone's okay. I said I'll call him tomorrow"

"You should go, it's late" Lily had crashed out on the bed in the room reserved for partners to sleep on.

"No way, do you know how hard it was to get this parental leave. HR officially hate me, so I'm going to use every moment to stare at this beautiful girl" she cooed, picking up Olivia from her cot.

Lily had been born 4 weeks early, so Jenny had fought tooth and nail to have the right to use shared parental leave to help you look after Lily and the baby assuming Olivia would be born early too, despite not actually being a parent to either. She had initially demanded full maternity leave, but had settled for 3 and a half weeks "shared parental" leave. "That's what they get for not having a watertight policy" she'd smugly smiled sipping non alcoholic wine with you when she told you when you met her for lunch just after Viktor left to prepare for the fight.

You were trying not to cry but the harder you did, the quicker your eyes filled up with tears. So when you blinked they came streaming down your face. "Hey, don't you start crying because I'm gonna start crying again" Jenny moved to perch on the edge of your bed still holding Olivia.

"I know you feel bad, but don't. Everything is okay, you're okay, baby's okay. Lily's okay. I'm okay" the last part made you laugh and you brushed the tears away.

"But we need to make sure Viktor's okay, and that means not telling him just yet because we app know what will happen. I'll just keep taking a million photos and videos so he has stuff to watch. Here, hold her" Jenny passed you Olivia and grabbed her phone to take pictures.

"Do I look a mess?" you asked, aware that not only had you given birth 6 hours ago but you had also cried one too many times. "Actually, you look so good. Which makes me slightly hate you" she placed her phone down and then made grabbing hands at Olivia. "My ovaries hurt when I don't hold her" she blushed.

***

You where now sat in the hotel suite that had been reserved for Viktor. Lily was laying on the floor - half on top of the fluffy rug, half off - drawing more pictures for Viktor. You were sure she was on over 100 at this point, but it kept her occupied, you enjoyed listening to her stories behind them and writing them on the back of the picture for Viktor to read later.

She was currently drawing the picture of him winning his current fight - the one that was meant to start in 45 minutes.

You were sat on the overly large sofa breastfeeding Olivia, after having to shout at Buddy Marcella and the entourage he brought for you to leave. He'd brought a nanny with him - just in case you wanted to leave Lily and Olivia to go watch the fight. He was driving you crazy more than usual.

You didn't need help, you just needed space and for not a single soul to mention to Viktor that he had an earlier than expected baby girl he'd never seen. You'd also spoken to Ivan at length who had been extra hard and stubborn on your behalf making sure everything and everyone would be perfect.

***

Just as the fight started Olivia woke up with a cry. You half didn't mind as she'd been asleep for a long time, as if she was waiting for the perfect moment to announce her presence in the world. She was very quiet for a newborn.

You noticed that Viktor seemed to be fighting differently, quicker, even harder, like he just wanted it to be over.

But that wasn't surprising. When Viktor had agreed to the fight, there were a few additional requirements that Buddy had added in. Endorsements and a whole bunch of extra PR stuff, including promo stuff with Adonis Creed.

"Hey!" you called to Buddy. He turned around with that stupid grin on his face. "Just remembered my husband's a person and not just your cash cow" he'd then proceeded to try and butter you up but it didn't work.

***

As the ring filled with people from either team and the official referee to call the match you spotted Buddy climbing into the ring. You held your breath as you watched him whisper something to Viktor. Ivan appeared and pushed Buddy away, but you could see Viktor was getting impatient and just wanted the result said. You watched Ivan place his hands on Viktor's shoulders and he calmed down a little. The referee appeared and the camera angle zoomed back showing Viktor and his opponent standing either side of the referee.

You didn't let your breathe go until the referee held up Viktor's arms and the crowd cheered. Lily jumped up dancing around with her picture in her hand. "Told you daddy won" she wiggled her hips side to side and threw the picture in the air along with her crayons.

***

Now you felt sick. Sheer panic and you tried to organise your thoughts and your words to explain to Viktor that you were sorry for not telling him that Olivia had come early, that you cried after every phone call with him because you wanted to just tell him. But you were glad that you didn't, that there were no distractions.

"Lily, come here please" you call, her silence not always a good thing. She skips from the bedroom, her face covered in melted chocolate. Then she stop rigid, eyes wide. "Daddy!“ she screams, sprinting past you. You turn, this isn't how you wanted him to find out. "Grandpa!“ Lily screeches, almost another octave higher. She doges Viktor and throws herself at Ivan.

Viktor doesn't seem to mind that Lily skipped him. He's staring at you or Olivia, or both of you as you rock Olivia in your arms. She's quiet now, as if nothing happened. He drops his bag and slowly walks closer to you. When he reaches you, he pulls you against him, his lips rest on forehead which makes you cry.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry you had to do this on your own" Viktor tenderly hugs you, careful not to squash Olivia.

You pull away to wipe your face with one hand, surprised at how relaxed Viktor is. "My dad told me. I made him when I saw he had a lot of calls from Jenny, I thought something was wrong" you looked to Ivan, but he was busy cleaning the chocolate from Lily's face.

***

Everything was calmer. Everything was fine. Viktor sat holding Olivia, with Lily on his lap. They talk in hushed tones over a sleeping Olivia. Both falling quiet every so often to stare at the peaceful baby.

Viktor was stunned by how beautiful his second baby girl was. Her tiny nose, her tiny mouth, her ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Lily's mind was slightly blown by Viktor telling her she was once this small, even he was too.

Together they couldn’t stop looking at Olivia. Every now and then Lily gently kissed her sister - telling Viktor all the things she planned to teach her little sister - coloring within the lines, eating jellies that Aunt Jenny brings etc, eating all the chocolate you could find in a hotel suite.

By the time Ivan got back with food for everyone, it was his turn to fuss over his new grandchild. "World's happiest grandfather" Ivan announced taking Olivia from Viktor. He sat down on the couch with Olivia while you pulled out your phone to show Viktor the million photos you'd taken while he was away.

**********************************************

Tags: @ellixthea @lovelymari4 @chaneajoyyy

@honeychicana @beaminglife @amelatonin @themyscxiras @crushed-pink-petals @jojolu @endless00paradise @est1887 @cajunpeach @melinda-january @profoundlynerdywolf @deathonyourtongue @designerwriterchic @itsbqueenthings @alicesfracturedmirror

[nancypullen]

Wash, Dry, Fold, Repeat

That’s what I was thinking about as I finished that same task in my laundry room.  It’s been almost six months since we locked down and every day feels like wash, dry, fold, repeat.  What are you doing to shake things up?  Anyone starting new hobbies or trying anything crazy?  I’m interested. There’s got o be more to life than folding towels and tee shirts.

Speaking of tee shirts, that’s all I wear anymore.  Yoga pants and tees.  This fall I’ll probably switch to yoga pants and sweatshirts.  FYI, I don’t do yoga - I’m just a fan of stretchy pants.  During this pandemic I have given up...given up makeup, given up coloring my hair, given up wearing bras, given up any attempt at being fashionable by any definition.  I’m a sight to behold.  On the rare occasion that I venture out I just slap on a ball cap and a mask.  No one knows what’s under either.  I do conform to society’s rules and wear a bra when I’m out in public.  I mean, if you’ve ever seen the movie The Blob you’ll know why.  It’s a safety issue.  You’re welcome.   It’s been interesting how things I thought were so important have become afterthoughts.  I spent a lot of time, energy, and money keeping my white roots at bay.  Now I look like this.

The first week of July was my last dance with the dye.  I’d tried a mahogany brown and it was not great.  I’m not 100% committed to the white, but I’m willing to wait and see what happens.  I’ve got nothing but time on my hands.  The mister swears he thinks I’m cute as a button even with my skunk style hair.  He’s half blind, but  he means well.  Silver lining (no pun intended), I’ve got an effortless costume for Halloween this year.  Remember Cruella De Vil?

I’m not tall...or thin...I don’t wear fur coats or have a bunch of dalmatian puppies for props, but I’ve got the two-tone hair.  It’s a start. I’m not saying I’ll never color my hair or wear makeup again, but it sure is easy and comfy NOT to.  And what’s the point?  So strangers think we look nice?  My friends and family don’t care. Personally, I’d like to grow a long, white braid, wear big, funky earrings and overalls, and spend the rest of my days making art and scribbling poems.  So why do we (I) get caught up in what society expects of us - that we’re supposed to combat aging instead of embracing it?  Pretty is not the rent we owe to take up space in this world.  We pay that through kindness, generosity, sharing whatever talents or skills we have - and none of that has to be in a big,world-changing way.  Every little drop of kindness creates a ripple that changes the world.  Do good things in your little space. Okay, I went from hair color to preaching about kindness.  I may be a bit stir crazy from the whole wash, dry, fold, repeat cycle.  These long, somewhat empty days have given my brain free rein. Combine that with the current state of affairs and I’m on my mental soap box a lot.  Good thing only the cats have to listen to me. Phoebe agrees with everything I say. She’s so loyal. If I’m making the bed. There she is, pouncing on pillows and getting under blankets. Then she claims the finished product and wallows in sunbeams.

If I’m at my desk she’s always peeking at me.  That’s fun because she gets warm from the sun on that window, starts to doze off, and her head eventually hits that little bell hanging from the peace sign behind her.  So that whole “every time a bell rings another angel gets its wings” is malarkey, when a bell rings a cat nap has been interrupted.

Ignore that messy desk.  I was in a creative frenzy when I snapped that pic of my stalker.  Sure, that’s what we’ll call it - I’m not untidy, I’m creative. What a rambling, boring post.  I probably shouldn’t have posted at all, but it was a chance to sit down and break up the day.  I do have some exciting news, though.  We were supposed to be packing for a wonderful trip to Prince Edward Island.  Canada is smart and has let us know that we are still not welcome there since Americans can’t seem to get the hang of cooperation and sacrifice for the greater good.  We wouldn’t have gotten on a plane anyway. So that vacation was a bust but Mickey still has some time off.  We’ll be packing the grannymobile and heading back up to Annapolis to see the grandgirl.  Hopefully it also give her parents a break since they’re still trying to work from home with a busy toddler ( Zoom meetings are probably loads of fun with a two-year-old loudly announcing that she went potty).  We’ll spend a few days with them and then instead of driving diagonally through Virginia, we’ll come down the coast to spend a couple of days in the Outer Banks.  We’ll bring groceries, eat take out, and basically roam with masks and hand sanitizer while avoiding people.  Most of the historic spots will be closed, but we can still do some beach walking, maybe see the wild ponies, check out a couple of light houses, and that sort of thing. We won’t be there until after Labor Day, so if 2020 stays true to form a hurricane will hit about the same time.  I shouldn’t even say that out loud. I’ll end this post with happy thoughts of a change in scenery.  I love our little patch, but after six months the walls are starting to close in on me.  Our last trip up to Maryland was such fun and made with minimal stops.  We kept a cooler stocked with drinks and snacks and were choosy about where we stopped for gas.  Masks and hand sanitizer kept risk to a minimum and no one died.  That’s the plan this time too, all fun and no death. What are you doing to maintain your sanity?  Are we the last people still trying to flatten the curve?  I know there are loads of people out there still running around, playing and partying, and I suppose believing the Idiot in Chief that this virus will magically go away.  Newsflash, it won’t.  So if you’re still a shut-in like me, let me know what you’re doing for fun.  And if there’s anyone willing to give me a drive-by haircut I’d appreciate that too.  The days seem long but we’re inching our way to the other side of this. The  average journey of the Oregon Trail from the Missouri River to the Willamette Valley took 5 months.  ARE WE THERE YET?

Hang in there, you’re not alone. XOXO, Nancy

[slinkinginshadows]

A Monster’s Present

Summary: Ryou tries to find a sea monster. He does. It decides he’ll be a good host, and he has to deal with the aftermath.

Comments/tags/reblogs super appreciated! Tumblr’s tags are awful so reblogs really help a lot.

Warnings: Mpreg, monster incubation/pregnancy, painful birth from a stomach incubation, lots of mentions of tentacles and some parasitism. However, no character death. I guess you could say dub con but it’s not even a sentence, just to get to the rest of the preg stuff. Besides Ryou’s totally a monsterfucker and probably would be fine with it.

Wordcount: 2191

Ryou probably needed to re-evaluate his priorities.

He’d been in plenty of strange situations before, and perhaps it had warped his sense of what was really bad, but after something stuffed a tentacle up his ass and pumped a huge egg into his stomach, he’d been more disappointed that he hadn’t managed to get any footage over the fact that his stomach was taut and swollen.

Maybe he was just in shock.

By the time the boat had steered back to shore and the egg had creaked his skin out further, he was a little more worried.

“So, how was it?” Mariku was waiting at the beach, but his face fell when he saw Ryou’s torn clothes. “What, did you get attacked by the sharp end of the equipment, or did a giant monster actually show up?”

“Monster showed up,” Ryou said, one hand cradling his sore belly. “And it left me a present.”

“What?” Mariku rushed forward, ready to catch Ryou when his knees buckled. “What did this to you?”

“Pretty sure it was Cthulu, could be some other tentacle monster, though- gah!” Ryou gritted his teeth as there was an audible cracking noise from his swollen stomach. It looked like he’d swallowed a big hamster ball, and Mariku immediately set his hands on it.

“What did it do?”

“Felt like an egg…” Ryou’s back arched as there was another crack. “Oooooh, fuck…” The cracks coincided with stabs on his tender stomach walls, and he curled in on himself.

“You- you can do this.” Mariku said, eyes wide and clearly panicked himself. He slowly moved his hands around Ryou’s belly, feeling movement. There was definitely something hard in there, and he swallowed. “You’re fine, you’re fine.”

“Ooooh…” Ryou’s toes curled inside his sneakers. He fought the urge to hug his stomach close as jolts of sharp pain continued. He was beyond nauseous, and his stomach was both overfull and queasily sticky and slick. They were lucky the beach was empty since it was getting late, or he would have been giving quite a show.

A minute later, however, it just… stopped. His stomach still stabbed into itself when he moved, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been. He slumped unto his back.

“W-what…?” Ryou stared down at it until there was crunching like birds gnawing on bone and his stomach began to grow. He watched as his skin squirmed, distending with long bulges.

“I don’t think it’s an egg,” Mariku said somewhat numbly, and Ryou hiccuped, slime soaking his tongue and dripping down his cheek as his consciousness wavered. The last thing he remembered was Mariku reaching for his face.

_________

When Ryou woke up, he was tucked into bed, belly beyond sore and skin uncomfortably itchy. He could feel movement inside of him, the creature clearly restless. It had more than doubled in size since he’d passed out, putting him at what any normal human would look like at the end of a pregnancy as his stomach wriggled. More slime soaked his lips, and a nauseous burp had it dribbling onto his chin. “Oof…”

“Ryou? Oh, thank the gods you’re alive.” Mariku had been waiting just outside. “I made you some fish, figured after that you’d want to kill something ocean-related-”

Ryou’s stomach roared, and the desperate hunger hit him a moment later. “Yes, please.” He managed, the beast growing even more energetic as the smell of the cooking fish made it to the room. It was entirely possible that was what had woken him up.

He forced himself to sit up, realizing his belly was almost down to his knees now, and he groaned.

“This is what I get for wanting to focus on something other than ghosts for a while…”

Mariku brought him a plate in bed, and he scarfed it down. His stomach grumbled, and his mouth started watering again. “Do you… have any raw fish?”

“A few sardines, why?”

“Can you bring them to me?”

“Ryou…”

“Please.” Ryou’s puppy eyes were enough to convince Mariku, who brought him the tin. He tore it open and dropped all three remaining fish into his mouth. The salty flavor tickled his tongue, and the creature gave an appreciative clicking noise and slowed its frantic movements.

“If this wasn’t so horrifying it would be cool,” Ryou said, watching it sway his stomach from side to side.

“It’s an interesting kind of grotesque.” Mariku admitted, wincing as another wet burp from Ryou brought up more slime.

Ryou started feeling at his belly, realizing the parts that weren’t thick tentacles when he pressed down were sloshy. The thing must have pumped him full of ooze to make itself at home.

“I wonder how long it’ll be in here.”

“It better not be long.” Mariku said. “Nothing gets to hurt you.”

“If you can believe it, the actual experience wasn’t that bad. To be fair, I think some kind of aphrodisiac was involved since it’s hazy but hey, how many people can say they’ve been fucked by a tentacle monster and live?”

“We’ll see on the ‘live’ thing once that thing gets out of you.” Mariku said, prodding at it and getting a hiccup from Ryou this time.

————-

Soon, Ryou didn’t have a single shirt that fit in the house and had to wear a bathrobe. The most dramatic growth spurt had been soon after the egg had hatched, and it had somehow either eaten or absorbed the bits of the shell because it stopped poking at his tender stomach muscles from the inside soon after.

The bigger problem, though, was just because the growth spurts weren’t big didn’t mean he wasn’t getting bigger in general, or that having a squirming tentacle monster inside of him was comfortable. By the end of the week, he could barely get up, stomach hanging like a dead weight. It didn’t help that his hips were skinny, and the thin layer of fat around his stomach didn’t do much to camouflage the tentacles that were always moving. He had to walk slowly and lift his belly, which was hard to do for long- the angle was awkward and it was heavy.

He’d also developed an appetite for not only raw fish but whatever meat he could get his hands on. Sausages, steak, even the bits of chicken in his rice- it was the only thing that could make him feel even partially satisfied.

“Still nothing?” Mariku asked, rubbing lotion into the growing angry red stretchmarks that marred Ryou’s belly.

“Other than trying to see how far I can- urp!- stretch before I burst… Nope. It’s still stuck.” Ryou wiped at his mouth with a towel. The slime was a constant now, sliding up his throat to the point where he could barely taste anything besides the salty sludge anymore.

“It won’t burst out, will it? I don’t want to lose you.” Ryou waved a hand at that.

“I’ll be fine… you know how to resurrect me, right?”

“I’d rather it not come to that.” Mariku said dryly.

____

By the tenth day, he was stuck on the bed all the time, and his stomach had inched past his knees, He’d pulled a shirt on to stay warm, but the bottom of the fabric rested at the top of his massive gut. Trying to pull it down would just end with it torn.

His skin was even paler than usual, and when he tried to soothe it with rubs, he could see the blue veins in his hands. The more he ate, the more his stomach grew, with none of the nutrients going to the rest of his body as the parasite of a creature siphoned both his food and his energy. He was shaky and sweaty by the end, goosebumps covering his arms and legs.

Mariku was more than ready to just get someone to cut the thing out, but Ryou worried that it might just kill both of them once it was out if they tried.

It wasn’t until he started to mix up saltwater to chug that they both agreed they probably needed to get back to the water.

Mariku helped Ryou stand on wobbly legs, helping him lift his overstrained stomach long enough to get to the car. Any space left that wasn’t crammed with tentacles was thick ooze, and Ryou kept giving wet, queasy burps whenever the thing moved.

“How is it coming out?”

“Same way it went in, I assume- urrgh!” When Mariku made a sharp turn, it slammed against the side of his stomach, nearly driving him off the seat.

“I’ve got a knife in the glove compartment, the second it’s out, I’m killing it.”

“Let’s see if it tries to go- to go after us first…” Ryou groaned, hugging his stomach as much as he could to try and get it to stop pushing through his skin.

“You’re going to be fine, I’m going be fine, this is going to be fine…” Mariku quietly chanted to himself, over and over until they reached the water just after the sun had sunk below the waves. The few stragglers on the beach were packing up.

Ryou peeled his sweaty yoga pants off before Mariku rushed around the car to help him out.

“Does this feel right?” Ryou had never seen him so worried, and it drew a weak smile to his face even as he had to wipe more slime away.

“As long as you’re here, I’ll manage.”

Step by step, they managed to make it down to the edge of the water, with foam lapping at Ryou’s feet as he sat down. Sand itched at his legs, and the sweat running down his side made his fresh stretchmarks burn like hot peppers had been rubbed into them.

Ryou felt it start to press further forward, as if it could sense the waves nearby, and yelped it suddenly made a violent turn, forcing up enough slime that he gagged on it, having to spit it out on the sand in order to not choke.

“Ryou!”

“I- I think it’s coming out.” He wriggled his legs, but Mariku had to help him get his boxers off. It moved fast when it wanted to, and right now it was squeezing through his intestines. Ryou tasted copper, and spat blood on top of the sandy slime. Mariku grabbed the knife, using his other hand to ease Ryou’s legs open.

“Come on, you son of a bitch…” Mariku said. “You don’t get to hurt him and make it out of this alive.”

“Mariku, we’ve talked abOUT THIS!” His voice pitched up as it violently shoved itself through something that had probably torn.

“This thing isn’t human.” Mariku argued. “And it’s hurting you.”

“True, it- it is.” Ryou finally admitted, slumping back in the sand, not even caring it was getting in his hair. He could see his stomach starting to shrink as it moved along his body, but his legs twitched, thighs slicking with the squeezed-out slime when it started getting close to exiting. “G-get ready…” His eyes widened- it felt bigger than ever when a single tentacle prodded through. “Get out of the way, I- I can’t let you get hurt!”

“No way in hell.” Mariku growled out, grabbing the tentacle. It curled around his wrist, another forcing through Ryou’s hole, and Ryou gritted his teeth.

“C-come on…” He wished he’d prepared somehow, but he’d avoided thinking about how it was going to get out, and now a third tentacle spread him wide. Already it was bigger than the one that had put the egg inside of him. His head tilted up, and he couldn’t hold back a scream as four, five, six tentacles shoved out and pulled him wider than he thought possible. Either it was slime or blood dripping from them, and with the hot pain he could believe either.

Ryou panted, sweat now soaking him as he desperately tried to push, tried to get it over with. Mariku started tugging, which pulled another scream from his throat as the bulk of the mass made it to the exit. His vision was starting to bleed black, and he barely heard Mariku yelp himself as the creature started grabbing at him.

“Die, you stupid- gah!” There was a sticky squelching noise and Ryou was empty, feeling more liquid gush from his thighs. He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, before he leaned up on one elbow to see Mariku holding a single writhing tentacle with a trail of green blood leading to the water.

“It got away?” Ryou asked, and Mariku nodded.

“At least daddy dearest didn’t come back for it.”

“Shame. I kind of wanted a picture.” Ryou tried to smile, but every muscle in his body was exhausted.

Mariku handed him the tentacle  and his boxers, and scooped him up. “This will have to do.”

“This works.” Ryou watched it move whenever he squeezed it.

“But, the next time you see a giant monster?” Mariku said as he headed for the car. “Ask it to buy you dinner first.”

Ryou wiped something sticky from his mouth. “Deal.”

[smilingformoney]

America’s Most Eligible 2 Diamond Scene: Northern Lights with the Jury

You: This is too good an opportunity to pass up. Thanks, Jen! Jen: Have fun! As she slips out of the room, you call over to the others. You: Hey guys, why don’t we check out the northern lights? I’d be a good chance for all of us to catch up… Yvette: The instructor of my Baby and Me yoga class swears by moonbathing. Count me in. Ronan: What an inspired idea. Bianca: Good call, Jamie. I’ve been dying to check out the view since we got here. You: Then follow me!

You climb the stairs to the roof, the air growing colder until you push open the heavy, metal door and are met with an icy wind. You: Brr! It’s a little colder than I expected… Heath/Eden: It’s Iceland. Obviously, it’s gonna be cold. Yvette: Heath/Eden, that’s enough, kiddo. We’re here to have fun!

-If you eliminated Ivy

Ivy: You actually think this’ll be fun? Ivy: Aw, bless your heart.

-If you eliminated Slater

Slater: Yeah, right. Jamie wouldn’t know fun if it bit her.

You: Don’t worry, you guys. We’ll stoke the fire a little, and it’ll be toasty in no time. Ronan: Allow me. I’m something of an expert on tending a burning blaze. Ronan: When I was in Guyana trekking through the Amazon, I fended off a jaguar with nothing but a lit torch and… While Ronan rambles on, Bianca lowers her voice and whispers to you.

-If you don’t have a strong relationship with the Jury

Bianca: Uh, Jamie? I hope you’re not expecting us to gather ‘round the campfire and sing ‘Kumbaya.’ Bianca: What else do you have planned?

-If you have a strong relationship with the Jury

Bianca: Babes, you know I’m Team Jamie, but I’ve done my cryotherapy for the week. Bianca: You’ve gotta liven this party up… Fast.

You: Oh, uh… Let’s… -Make hot chocolate!

You: Some melty marshmallows will get this party started. Yvette grabs the supplies from the kitchen, and whips up a batch. Yvette: You’re in for a treat! As Den Mother for my son’s troop, I’ve perfected this recipe.

-Chug some cocoa!

-Break out the champagne!

You: The AME All-Stars are taking over Iceland. We should celebrate. Bianca grabs a bottle from the kitchen, and starts pouring. Bianca: Par-tay!

-Sip some bubbly!

You: Whoa, you guys. Look at that! All at once, the Jury Houses members fall silent as they notice the northern lights floating through the night, and everyone chooses a place on the roof to watch.

Who do you talk to? -Ronan and Yvette

You spot Ronan and Yvette sharing a blanket on the lounge chairs and head over. You: You two look cozy. Ronan: We’ve become fast friends, she and I. Yvette: It turns out, we’ve both got some stories to tell.

You: Let me guess. You bonded over… -The good old days of AME? Ronan +2, Yvette +2

You: Minimal rules and a cast of gorgeous strangers in the golden age of reality TV? The mansion has to be insane! Ronan: To a degree which you could never fathom, young one. Ronan: As it stands, I remain the only cast member to do a perfect swan dive into the pool from the roof. Yvette: Things had calmed down by my season, but that was the year production banned parkour from the mansion… Ronan: But those are, of course, the preoccupations of our younger selves…

-Your real world adventures? Yvette +2, Ronan +2

You: You took different routes, but you’ve both led pretty fulfilling lives. Yvette: I’ll say. Being in the older AME crew, we’ve had some life changing experiences. Yvette: Between managing soccer practices, baby ballet and my dental practice, the years between my seasons have just flown by, but… Yvette: I wouldn’t change a thing. Ronan: I’ve sailed seven days to the remote island of Tristan da Cunha and farmed gingili with the indigenous people of Motuo. Even still…

He turns to face Yvette. Ronan: I quite prefer this moment. Yvette blushes, and you take this as your cue to leave…

-Eliminated Villain and Heath/Eden

You head over to the railing to talk to Eliminated Villain and Heath/Eden. As you approach, they stop speaking and turn to look at you. You: Do I even want to know what you two are talking about? Heath/Eden: Just our master plan for your general downfall. No biggie.

You: Seriously? -At least you’re consistent.

You: You were fierce competitors in the mansion, so it only makes sense you’d be a strong presence in the Jury House. You: May the best player win.

-Can’t we call a truce?

You: We’re three thousand miles from home watching one of seven natural wonders of the world… You: Just for tonight, can’t we enjoy each other’s company?

You extend your hand… and both Heath/Eden and Eliminated Villain shake it in return! Eliminated Villain +2 Eliminated Villain: That’s… surprisingly civil of you, Jamie. Heath/Eden +2 Heath/Eden: Yeah… Heath/Eden: But this doesn’t change anything. We’re still coming for you. You: Then I guess it’s game on. You turn and leave them stunned as you survey the other Jury members…

-Bianca Bianca +2

You head over to sit next to Bianca at the fire pit as she warms her hands. You: It’s beautiful out here. All the mountains, and lights, and snow…

You: I’ll bet you’re itching to… -Get back to the beach.

You: This isn’t exactly a balmy night in Salinas. Bianca: I may be a NorCal girl at heart, but I’ve always been obsessed with snow. In another life, I’d be a snowboarder. You: Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting that. You: How did you end up in front of a camera instead of heading down the slopes? Bianca: I have my senior prom date to thank for that. Bianca: If he hadn’t ditched me at the last minute, I’d have never traded in my ball gown for a bikini to show him what he was missing. Bianca: I got kicked out of prom, but the video went viral, and I was signed to an agency by graduation. You: His loss is the world’s gain. Bianca: Exactly.

-Stage a photoshoot.

You: This would be perfect for your portfolio. Bianca: ‘Bianca Sandoval, international swimsuit model’ does have a ring to it… Bianca: And the extra exposure would be the perfect way to finally launch my fashion blog! You: You kill it on AME, grace the cover of every magazine, and now you’re coming for the web too? What can’t you do? Bianca: If I’m being honest, there’s not much. Bianca: Everyone thinks I’m just some airhead model, but you wouldn’t believe the plans I’ve got for the fashion industry. You: Well, I can’t wait to see what you’ve got up your sleeve.

Bianca: Thanks for inviting us out here, Jamie. It’s nice to know we still have friends in the mansion. You: Always. You pat her on the back, and stand to look out at the beautiful view…

As the night winds down, you lift your drink in the air. You: I’d like to propose a toast.

You: To… -Iceland! Ronan +2, Yvette +2, Heath/Eden +2, Eliminated Villain +2, Bianca +2

You: Here’s to new countries and all the adventures that come with! Ronan: If adventure is food for the soul, then I wish to die a portly man. Yvette: Amanda and the girls in the PTA aren’t going to believe this. Heath/Eden: I guess this is kinda cool… Eliminated Villain: I’ll give credit where it’s due… This was a good idea. Bianca: Nice one, Jamie.

-Building bridges and tearing down walls. Eliminated Villain +2, Heath +2, Ronan +2 Bianca +2, Yvette +2

You: I won’t pretend this night fixes a season of competitiveness, but I have hope that it’s the starts of new friendships. Eliminated Villain: Only time will tell… Heath: Always the optimist, Jamie. Ronan: Friendship is the most universal currency. Bianca: Cheesy, but… I guess it’s kinda cute. Yvette: Competition breeds excellence… but friendship is nice too.

-America’s Most Eligible. Bianca +2, Eliminated Villain +2, Heath/Eden +2, Yvette +2, Ronan +2

You: Here’s to this crazy show that brought us all together. May it always see another season. Bianca: And may its contestants always be as hot as us! Eliminated Villain: Let’s face it, any season without me is going to pale in comparison. Heath: Next time I’m in the mansion, I’m going all the way. Yvette: Oh, you guys keep me young. Ronan: What good is a life lived, if it leaves no legacy?

You all clink your glasses together and sip quietly as you take in the sights and sounds of your beautiful host country.

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 12

Sleep eluded me after our parking lot conversation. Tom and I had taken a long bath together, during which neither of us were injured, surprisingly, then went down to the beach so we could listen to the waves crashing on the rocks prior to retiring for the night. Luke and Simon had popped out for a quick hello and a late night swim, then disappeared again into the privacy of their suite. I was beginning to think they might have us beat as far as incorrigible went, then quickly stopped myself before my mind wandered into what-has-been-seen-can-never-be-unseen territory.

Tom was out like a light in a matter of minutes, while I tossed and turned like a dog with a bad case of fleas. I knew it was pointless to continue to try and doze off, so I said fuck it and decided to get up and attempt to get some work done. I wormed my way out from under Tom’s leg, climbed out of bed, put on some shorts, grabbed my laptop and headed for the door. He mumbled incoherently in his sleep, and I waited until he was silent again before I opened it, padding in my bare feet through the soundless house and out onto the lanai.

After trying to determine whether to go with a horizontal or a vertical menu on Tom’s site for forty-two minutes, I called it quits and perused Twitter comments instead. Alani’s tweet had amassed the most, and screenshots had spread to Tumblr. Honestly, I was glad of the way she’d mentioned me in such a specific context …there was very little, if any, speculation about whether or not I was, in fact, his girlfriend. Everything was out in the open, which I always thought was the best choice. Though the initial negativity was far worse than if the topic’s legitimacy was in question, it would likely die down much more quickly. That’s how it had worked for clients in the past, anyway. Hopefully my methodology would apply to my own situation as well.

My revelation regarding my weight plagued me…I replayed what I’d said over and over, and I wished I’d gone into greater detail. I hadn’t meant to impose a blanket statement that being overweight was unhealthy, or that it made one unworthy of attention from the opposite sex – or the same sex, or both, whichever was personally preferable, of course. That’s not what I believed, at all. Quite the contrary. Beauty comes in all shapes, colors and sizes and is entirely dependent upon the eye of the beholder, and if said beholder opts to eliminate certain sizes from their pool of eligible candidates, that’s their choice. And their loss.  

And as far as health was concerned…illness doesn’t discriminate based upon the number on the scale. It can strike anyone, at any time, and originates from a multitude of factors that are more often than not out of our control entirely. Unfortunately for me, a poor genetic inheritance and horrifically nutritionally deficient diet, combined with an excess of weight and my wickedly sedentary lifestyle had compromised my health considerably. Losing weight seemed to be a better option than medication, though there were many, many days on which I questioned that choice. Usually while sweating my ass off, literally, on the treadmill in some hotel gym. In all honesty, if I hadn’t been diagnosed with early stage diabetes, I probably wouldn’t have changed a thing about the way I lived my life.

“Maude, think about something else, you schmuck. This is a rabbit hole you do NOT want to go down at 2 AM.”

I sighed. Too late.

I’d told Tom there were reasons for me putting on a significant amount of weight, and my sleep deprived brain decided that this was the ideal time to refresh my memory as to what they were. I tapped my finger on the table and quietly ticked them off out loud.

“Let’s see, we’ve got… pain, anger, grief, depression, replacing one addiction with another, self-medicating, a convenient excuse that allowed me to reside in my fortress of solitude without constantly having to justify it to everyone because they’d be inclined to think ‘oh, she’s alone because she’s fat, you know, the poor thing’, and, my favorite, to spite my mother. Okay, maybe that’s not my favorite. Because food is fucking delicious. That’s my favorite. Plus, cardio sucks balls.”

Groaning, I crossed my arms on the table and rested my head on them, intending to collect my thoughts and get back to work. I woke up four hours later in a puddle of drool with Simon yammering in my ear.

“ ‘ello, Polly. Wakie Wakie!”

I raised my head and wiped the saliva off my face with my forearm.

“Ewe, Maude, that is so thoroughly vile. Were you out here all night?”

I nodded. “Don’t you even dare to ask me if I’m doing yoga with you today. I feel like grim death.”

He patted my head. “You look like it, too. But your excuses mean nothing to me. Shut up and go get your mat.”

I lowered my chin to my chest, peeled myself off of the chair and shuffled into the house, nearly smacking right into Tom as I opened our bedroom door. Brows raised, he pulled me inside and into his arms.

“Couldn’t sleep again?” I shook my head. “Want to talk about it?”

I shrugged, wishing I could talk about it, but knowing that anything I’d say would require additional context that I was not willing to supply. “Just another bout of insomnia brought on by chronic over analysis of every minute detail of my existence.”

“Oh, that’s all, is it?”

I feigned surprise. “What, that doesn’t happen to you?”

He grinned. “It does. Quite often, actually. But the sheer physical exhaustion that results from your incessant attentions seems to have solved that particular problem for the time being.” He ground his erection against me. “This problem, however, persists.”

“And it’s such big problem, too.” I bit his shoulder gently, then pulled back to look at his face. That beautiful, talented pink tongue was peeking out just the slightest bit from between his lips and I damn near lost my shit. He winked at me.

I poked him in the chest. “Well, Thomas, since you’re…up…why don’t you join me for some yoga?”

He rolled his eyes. “You mean you and Simon. I abhor doing yoga with Simon.”

I tilted my head. “Seriously? Why?”

He pinched my nose between the knuckles of his index and middle fingers, shaking gently. “Because he’s so much better at it than I am, that’s why.”

It was my turn for eye rolling as I walked to the wardrobe to grab a bra, pulled off my sleeping shirt and slipped the bra straps over my hands, up my arms and backed towards him. “Hook a sister up, wouldja?”

He lifted the cups up over my breasts, tweaked both nipples, then wrestled them back into place and licked my neck as he connected the clasps. I moaned and pulled away. After putting on a fresh shirt, I turned around and walked past him toward the door, slapping him on the ass as I went.

“Nice try, Thomas, but we’re still doing yoga. Now you put on a fucking shirt and get that ass moving.”

He followed me. “Sorry, no.”

“Fine. I’ll just keep my eyes closed.”

“You won’t.”

I sighed. “No. I won’t.”

Simon’s snarkiness was at orange alert status due to Tom’s presence, and watching the two of them compete was wildly amusing. Tom was right, Simon was better, but watching Tom do yoga shirtless was better than any porno I’d ever seen. A light sheen of sweat coated his skin, and when he moved into camel pose I made a…sound. A gasp? A moan? A dying whale noise? I honestly couldn’t label it properly.

Simon turned his head to the side so he could face me without breaking his pose.

“What the hell was THAT, woman?”

“Nothing. Got a cramp. Just a little cramp. I’ll be fine. Carry on.”

He moved his arms above his head, brought them forward and sat on his haunches. He looked over at Tom, then back at me. “Mmm hmm. Cramp. Thomas, if you wouldn’t mind concealing your torso beneath some clothing next time so your girlfriend won’t blow my focus with her inappropriate vocalizations I’d be ever so appreciative.”

Tom chortled. “I’m rather fond of her inappropriate vocalizations, especially when she’s blo…”

Simon put is fingers in his ears and chanted loudly. “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA…”

I grabbed my iPod and put my earbuds in, hoping music would distract me. It was a successful strategy for the most part, and I felt myself shifting into the transcendent space that was the reason for me deciding upon yoga for both physical and mental fitness. Tom almost ruined it when I caught him staring at me during my easy plow pose, but I managed to breathe through it. While doing my cool down stretches, I wondered if the intense sexual chemistry between us and the overwhelming desire it fostered was because we were so new to each other, or if it was always going to be like this. I smiled, recalling Diana Gabaldon’s brilliant prose in Outlander, when Jamie is addressing Claire.

“Does it ever stop? The wanting you?“ "Even when I’ve just left ye. I want you so much my chest feels tight and my fingers ache with wanting to touch ye again.”

When I’d read it years ago, I thought it was beautifully written, but, you know, fictional. Filed under ‘shit that never happens in real life’. For once, I was totally okay with having been wrong about something.

We discussed our options for the holiday over a breakfast of the most mouth-wateringly delicious sausage, egg and cheese burritos I’d ever tasted. I wanted to work for a while, but that was shot down in a chorus of noes and ‘but-it’s-a-holiday’s. Our final destination of the evening would be the Nawiliwili Tavern, which was back on the other side of the island near the Marriott. It so happened that this was the first Saturday of the month, and that’s when Kaua’i’s gay community gathered there to celebrate with drink specials and, much to my wicked delight, karaoke. I needed to see Luke doing karaoke. It was inexplicable, but I just knew I NEEDED it to happen or I couldn’t go on with my life.

Since I’d yet to park my ass on a proper beach after an entire week on the island, I offered it up as my next suggestion. It was well received. Kalapaki Beach was a 14 mile ride from the house, but less than a mile from Nawiliwili Tavern. Available activities included volleyball, surf lessons, catamaran cruises, stand up paddle boarding, kayaking and body and boogie boarding, none of which I was interested in but were certain to keep my companions occupied if sitting on a lounge and reading all day wasn’t their idea of fun.

Simon got to work assembling a picnic lunch, Luke and Tom each had another burrito, and I hit the shower. Afterward, I sat on the bed wrapped in my towel as I waited to air dry enough so I could squeeze into my bathing suit. Tom walked in, bent down to kiss me, rammed his tongue in my mouth, then dropped his shorts and paraded around the corner for his turn under the spray.

I packed a small bag before dressing since we wouldn’t be coming back home…black Birkenstocks, a pair of hiking shorts, a black V-neck tee shirt, underwear, a bra, hair ties, my beach towel, Finders Keepers, Neuromancer, my iPod, my phone and my glasses. Just in case.

My bathing suit was still buried at the bottom of my suitcase, but it didn’t look any worse for wear when I shook it out. It was black, halter style, with cutouts along both sides and a built in strapless bra so I wouldn’t look like Saggytits McSaggerton. Anyone who claims to have natural double D’s with nipples that point anywhere other than down is utterly full of shit. Or maybe that should be udderly. I was still giggling to myself when I heard the shower turn off, and I quickly tossed my gauzy black cover-up over my head and slipped on the pair of flip flops I’d also unearthed from my suitcase.

Tom came out, dripping wet, towel slung low around his hips. I told him I’d meet him in the living room and used the half bath in the hall for my last pee so I wouldn’t have to watch him dress, then helped Simon gather beverages and put them in the cooler. We decided to take the car instead of the Jeep as it had actually room for all our stuff, including the folding lounge chairs we’d found in the garage. Luke volunteered to drive on the way there if I’d be the designated driver on the way back home tonight, which was fine with me since I knew I’d be sober. I figured he did as well and hoped he’d keep it to himself, then wondered how the hell I’d handle it when the subject finally came up. Because it would. It always did.

************************************************** The beach was surprisingly empty…by my standards, anyway. Try the Jersey Shore on July 4th…you’d have to get there at the crack of dawn to get a decent spot, and someone would fucking steal it if you went to get a snack or use the restroom. Perhaps it was because there was a lot more beachfront to choose from here, or maybe everyone was boating or something, but I was thrilled that I wouldn’t be spending the day elbow to elbow with strangers.

We managed to get everything in one trip and set ourselves up about twenty feet back from the shoreline. I unfolded my chair, pulled Neuromancer out of my bag and set it gently on the sand, then relieved myself of my cover-up. Simon whistled loudly when he saw my suit.

“Maude, you look like a 1950’s pin up model in that thing. Those cutouts…va va va VOOM!”

Tom had his back to me, but spun around upon hearing Simon’s comment. He looked me up and down, then again. And again. I made a mental note to do some lingerie shopping ASAP, then plopped down in my chair with all the grace of a drunken hippo on rollerskates as I released a long, triumphant sigh.

“Ass in lounge chair. Goal achieved. Sand trophy awarded. Beach level unlocked.”

Tom leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I have my own goal to achieve, you know…and it also involves that luscious ass of yours. What’s the optimal way for me to go about unlocking it, Maude?”

I closed my eyes, hung my head down, shook it, then looked up and spoke through gritted teeth. “God, do you have any idea how much I hate being beaten at my own game?”

“I do now.” He grinned, then ran down the beach and into the ocean.

Over the course of the day I read most of Neuromancer, and Tom bought a copy for his tablet to read along with me. We paused after each chapter to discuss, noting the parallels between Gibson’s text and modern technology as well as how much the Matrix had liberally borrowed from his work. I was coerced into playing volleyball, despite citing that my bathing suit and my boobs were not meant for such activities. My refusal to jump led to a stunning loss, at which point Luke and Simon decided to go paddle boarding. Tom and I walked the shoreline, quietly enjoying each others company as we left our footprints behind in the wet sand. He ran in front of me, squatted down and drew a heart with an arrow through it and our initials in it. I rolled my eyes, squatted and drew two stick people fucking doggie style. We giggled like ten-year-olds as we ran away from our creations.

Luke was sitting on one of the lounges scrolling through his phone, and Simon was setting up lunch on a blanket he’d spread out when we returned from our walk. His culinary skills were mind-blowing…pesto, tomato and fresh mozzarella sandwiches served on toasted garlic bread, a platter of paper thin prosciutto, and little cups of mascarpone and dark chocolate cream topped with white chocolate shavings for desert. I glared at Luke, who had eaten his entire meal with his phone in his hand.

“Um, are you working over there, Luke?”

He looked up, frowning slightly. “I know, I know. I’m the one who said ‘but it’s a holiday’. We’re still getting lots of queries from prospective clients, though. And I’m not sure how to handle them all.”

“I’ll help you with it, if you want. Tomorrow. Now put that away and enjoy the day.” I laughed at my unintentional rhyme. “Damn, I’m funny when I’m not even trying.”

Simon grunted. “If you say so.”

I flipped him off, got up from my spot on the blanket and returned to my lounge chair, Tom already draped over the one to my left. He took my hand, I closed my eyes, and dozed off straight away, wiped out from my lack of sleep the night before.

My nap was rudely interrupted by Tom, bent over and shaking my shoulder gently.

“Maude, love, wake up.”

My eyelids fluttered open and I smacked his hand away. “Yeah. Fine. Awake. Why?”

He tipped his head back and to the right. “We’ve been spotted. Just fans, probably. No paparazzi yet.”

I yawned, stretching my arms above my head as I sat up to look and take a head count. Five, so far, about twenty feet away, phones raised. Three adults, two children. Adults were women, children a boy and a girl. Luke was in front of them, back to us, holding up his hands, saying something that I couldn’t quite make out over the roar of the waves. Simon was hovering nearby, watching and waiting.  

I hoisted myself out of the chair and stood next to Tom. I elbowed him in the side.

“Come on, cowboy. Let’s go do this.” I rooted in my bag, searching for my phone.

I felt his hand grasp my forearm, and I glanced up at him. He was staring at me, eyes wide.  “Really? This is all right with you?”

I shrugged. “They’re just people. One smile from you will make their day, and then some. So, why not? Spend a few minutes, they’re happy, they leave, it’s done and we’re back to being beach bums.” He shook his head in disbelief. “What? Is it really so shocking that I practice what I preach?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe it’s that I’m just not used to…?”

I interjected. “…having someone around who doesn’t think that they’re several rungs higher on the social ladder than the folks who are a huge part of what makes your successful career possible?”

“Oh, I like that. Let’s go with that.”

Twenty minutes later, the crowd had dispersed, Luke had informed me that I was a natural at wrangling fans as well as Tom and that this was my one true calling, and Simon was itching to move on to Nawiliwili Tavern before the crowds hit the beaches in hopes of getting a better view of the fireworks. I’d forgotten that sand was so intrusive and decided to shower before changing in one of the stalls provided, Tom keeping watch for me. I did the same while he rinsed and dressed. Simon and Luke were wearing matching Hawaiian shirts, which I thought was adorable, though the shirts themselves were hideous. Tom emerged wearing a tight white V-neck and tan shorts, and I wondered how in the hell I was going to make it through the evening without spontaneously combusting.

Simon, several yards in front of us with Luke as we all walked back to the car, began chanting, fists in the air. “KARaoke, KARaoke, KARaoke!”

Tom gave me a lopsided grin, eyes alight with mischief. “Care to wager on Luke’s participation again, Maude?”

“What stakes?”

“A late night dalliance of the oral persuasion, underneath the moon and stars? Winner is the receiver.”

“You’re on. Though that’s not really much of an incentive.”

His mouth dropped open. “Why not?”

“Because I’ll enjoy it just as much whether I win or lose.”

He sucked my earlobe into his mouth, then flicked it repeatedly with his tongue. “Are you certain that’s the case?”

“Not anymore.”

“Good.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tom. Terms?”

“Guess how many alcoholic beverages he’ll need to consume before he’s loosened up enough to sing in front of an entire bar. We each pick a number, one closest without going over wins. I choose five. Absolutely NO coercion or interference from either of us.”

“Fine. I’m going with two.”

He laughed. “Luke needs to be intoxicated in order to sing, period. He doesn’t even sing in the car, to the best of my knowledge. So very many drinks would be required for him to perform in public that he’ll likely pass out first. You won’t win.”

“Yes. I will.  I’m already plotting all the things I’m going to make you do with that tongue of yours….”  

“Damn.”

“Damn right.”

************************************************** From the outside, the Nawiliwili Tavern is an unassuming white building with green and red accents. Inside, it’s a quirky, homey, wood-laden watering hole with televisions everywhere, a horseshoe shaped bar, a Foosball table, a pool table, lots of neon and local artifacts aplenty. Karaoke happened right smack in the middle of all the action, and when we walked in the place was packed, with a grey-haired gentleman in a white tank top and Bermuda shorts belting out Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’. There wasn’t an official dance floor, but that didn’t seem to hamper the crowd’s enthusiasm as they moved and shook in place.

Simon turned to me and grabbed my hands, shouting above the din. “Maude, I have found my people. And if they’re my people, I’m thinking they might just be your people, too. Are they your people?”

I nodded as he dragged me closer to the sound system speakers, still shouting. “LET US DANCE WITH OUR PEOPLE!”

Luke and Tom joined us after the song had ended and things quieted down as the next person browsed the available selections. Luke had two Blue Hawaii drinks, one for himself and the other for Simon, and Tom had something that looked like orange juice in a hurricane glass and what I assumed was a Coke for me.

He smiled widely and handed me the tumbler. “Nice moves there, darling. Since you’re the designated driver I brought you a soda. They don’t have Coke, only Pepsi. Hope that’s acceptable.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I guess I’ll just have to make do.” I kissed his cheek, then pointed to his drink. “Thank you. Now, tell me what the hell that thing is.”

He caressed the side of the glass, running his fingers over its curves. “This is a Tropical Itch. Rum, vodka passion orange juice and orange curacao. Bamboo backscratcher included at no extra charge.” He took a sip, then offered me one.

I shook my head. “I’m driving, remember?”

He pouted. “So there’s no chance of me getting you snockered and having my way with you?”

I snorted.  “Riiight. Because you haven’t had your way with me already.” I grabbed his ass and he emitted a low hiss.

“Minx.” His tone seemed…off. I looked up at him, noting that his expression didn’t quite align with his words, either. He met my gaze, then shifted his eyes to the side for a moment, then back to me as he smiled softly. I knew instantly that the topic of my lack of participation in the consumption of alcohol had reared its ugly head while he and Luke were ordering drinks, and that he’d offered me a sip and posed his suggestive question in the hopes that I’d volunteer an answer to another question…the one he’d rather not have to ask.

It wasn’t as if I’d never been down this road before, but that didn’t make it any less awkward. And this time, I actually gave a shit about the reaction I’d get, which was terrifying but I decided it wouldn’t get any less awkward as time went on. And if I was lucky, he wouldn’t press me for too much background information.  

Taking a deep breath, I put my hand on his forearm and looked into his eyes. “To answer your question…no, Tom, I don’t drink. Historically, alcohol and I make incredibly poor bedfellows, so I’ve made it a point to abstain. Hope that doesn’t pose a problem.” I swallowed and cast my gaze downward as he put a hand on my shoulder.

“How did you know…I…lord, you…I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to you seemingly reading my thoughts, though I certainly do adore it.” He kissed me briefly, his lips soft and warm, slightly sweet with orange and passionfruit juice. “I’m very sorry, Maude. When we were at the bar I initially ordered two Tropical Itches and Luke looked at me as if I had three heads and said ‘don’t tell me you’re such a dolt that you haven’t noticed that she doesn’t drink’, and apparently I am such a dolt because, I hadn’t. I asked if you told him why and he said you hadn’t even told him you didn’t but unlike me he actually possesses observational skills so he picked up on it and that it wasn’t anyone’s business but yours and if you wanted me to know you’d tell me, but…”

He paused, waiting for a response from me. I met his gaze but remained silent.

“I…Maude…of course it’s not a problem for me, not at all…but…is it a problem for you that I do drink? I suppose if it was you would have mentioned it or run for the hills already…shit, I…please, say something before I make an even bigger arse of myself, won’t you?”

“You aren’t making an arse of yourself, Tom. That’s an odd word, isn’t it? Arse. Doesn’t sit well on the tongue.” He raised his left eyebrow, smirking just the tiniest bit. “Other people’s drinking preferences are of no concern to me as long as they don’t impact my own existence in a seriously detrimental fashion.” I patted his bicep. “For the record, abysmal drunken singing is not automatically considered to be seriously detrimental. That’s a case by case basis kind of thing.”

He crossed his hands at the wrist and put them on his chest, right above his heart. “I am deeply offended that you believe my singing will be…abysmal.”

I shrugged. “I was actually referring to the lovely woman currently butchering ‘We Built This City’, which is bad enough when sung on key. But if you think the shoe fits, prove me wrong, Thomas. Get in the karaoke line.”

He leaned down, frowning as he touched his forehead to mine. “You okay?”

“Good, actually. I’ve been dreading that whole conversation. I always wind up feeling like a freak show because the general consensus is that if you don’t party there must be something really, really wrong with you.’”

“Again, my apologies. If you ever want to talk about it…”

“Someday. Thank you. And no need to apologize. By our own admissions, there’s still a ton of shit we don’t know about each other yet. Please, never be afraid to ask me questions, Tom. I’ll always answer as best I can.” I chuckled.

“What?”

“At least you didn’t ask me if it was because it’s against my religion.”

“You’ve been asked that?”

“Yes. Yes I have.”

“Might I inquire as to what your reply was?”

“Let’s just say the conversation went sideways. And that the person hasn’t spoken to me since.” His brow furrowed. “Turned out they didn’t appreciate being lectured on the impact of religion on personal freedom and how it was engineered from the start as a means of controlling the populous…”

Simon came bounding over and put his arm around my waist. “Time for singing, Maude. Let’s go.”

I raised both eyebrows and handed Tom my soda. “Um, okay…mind telling me WHAT it is we’re singing?”

He poked his index finger at my chest. “We will be performing one of my personal favorites – ‘It’s Raining Men’ by the Weather Girls.”

Tom threw his head back and laughed, then fished his phone out of his pocket and waved it at me.

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Film away, baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back in the habit of tweeting more than once every hundred years.”

We sang, we danced, and by the end of the song most of the bar had joined in. After enjoying a round of applause, Simon and I found Tom and Luke in the crowd and pushed and shoved our way to them. I sucked down my entire soda and set the glass on the nearest table while Luke handed Simon a Tropical Itch. He was still nursing his first Blue Hawaii. Simon kissed his cheek.

“Your turn, love. Come sing with me.”

I grinned evilly at Tom. He shook his head. Luke handed me his drink.

“Watch this for me, will you?” I nodded, and Simon passed off his beverage to Tom. I pulled out my phone since I had a hand free, then realized I was way too fucking short to be able to get anything other than the heads of the people in front of me. Tom had set the rest of the drinks on a table, and took Luke’s from me and put it there as well. He held out his hand, palm up.

“May I do the honors?”

I handed over my phone. “Please do. I can’t see for shit.”

He took my hand and worked his way to the front of the crowd so he was directly in front of Luke and Simon, then moved behind me. When the first notes of the song hit my ears and I realized it was ‘I Got You Babe’ I believe I may have actually squealed with delight. Luke did Sonny’s parts, and Simon did Cher’s. It was adorable, the depth of their feelings for each other so blatantly apparent that it moved me to tears. I felt Tom’s arm slip around my waist, followed by him kissing the back of my neck. Looking around the room, I saw that nearly every other couple was entwined in some way, swaying to the music. Tom managed to capture it all, and as soon as the song ended I grabbed the phone and logged into Twitter.

My boss, Luke. My co-worker (and Luke’s fiancé), Simon. Karaoke USUALLY only makes me cry because the singing is SO very bad. #happytearstonightthough  #igotyoubabe #tooadorable #thisjobgetsbetterandbetter

Tom whispered in my ear as he slowly lowered his hand from my waist to my belly. “Well, it appears you’ve won again, Maude. I’m anxiously awaiting the settlement of my debt.”

“You should stop talking, Thomas. Rest that tongue.” He pressed me back against him and I could feel him hard against my ass. I clenched, knowing his hand was in just the right spot to feel everything tighten. His groan almost made me come right there, in the middle of the bar.

“Maaaaauuuuddee.” He bit my neck, and as I turned my head to the side to allow him better access I noticed a woman a few feet away with her camera pointed in our direction. I waved, hearing her gasp as she quickly turned around. I chuckled, and Tom mumbled into my neck. “What’s funny?”

“Prepare yourself, dude. I just caught some woman taking pictures of us…which are totally going to show up on Tumblr any second now.”

“Good. I want the world to know you’re all mine.” He growled and laved the spot he’d bitten with his tongue, then released me as Simon and Luke approached us. “I do believe it’s time for my abysmal performance.”

I rolled my eyes and burst into song. “Let it go, let it GOOOOO…” He blew me a kiss and began perusing the song catalog.

Simon crossed his arms and tapped his foot. “He’ll do Piano Man. I guarantee it.”

I shrugged. “I have no point of reference for his karaoke habits, so I guess I’ll have to take you at your word.”

When Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ began to play, Simon’s jaw dropped and he patted his pockets frantically as he tried to locate his phone. “Well, fuck me. This is definitely not ‘Piano Man’! Shit, where is my phone?!”

I handed him mine. “Will you film so I can watch him, please?”

He pinched my cheek. “No, let’s make Luke do it. I can’t stand still during this song.”

Luke sighed, but obliged. Since Tom had taken center stage, so to speak, more people began to recognize him. Cameras were raised all around the bar, some patrons standing on tables to get a better view. I heard him singing, and was surprised at how good he sounded, but the majority of my focus was directed upon watching him move. His hips gyrating, pelvis thrusting, spinning with his arms extended, jawline and cheekbones so perfectly shadowed in the dim lighting of the bar. I was sure I heard ‘get Loki’ from somewhere in the crowd a few times, which made me grin like an idiot. It was all over before I could truly process what I’d just witnessed, the sound of the crowd clapping and cheering snapping me back to reality as I watched him bow deeply several times. As he strode toward me, everything else faded in to a blur, and all I saw was Tom. He picked me up and spun me around as if I was as light as a feather, then set me down and dipped me as he kissed me. His smile as he set me upright again nearly made me swoon.

“Well? Was it as terrible as you expected?”

I punched him in the shoulder. “Shut up, asshole. You’re well aware that you were fucking amazing.”

Simon gave my phone back. “Post it, Maude. POST IT.”

Oh look, it’s this guy again. Karaoke. Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’. You’ve never seen it done like this before, trust me. You’re welcome. :) #upallnightforgoodfun? #indeed

Luke’s phone dinged. He checked it, and suddenly his head lolled back, eyes closed, mouth open and tongue protruding.

Simon snorted. “Whoops, I think you finally did him in with that one, honey.”

Tom peeked at the screen over my shoulder and cackled. “Since it’s entirely your fault I expect you’ll be covering all of the funeral expenses?”

I wiggled my fingers and tickled Luke just under his armpit. He tried to maintain his composure but was unable to resist, finally dissolving into a puddle of giggles.

Simon shouted “IT’S ALIVE”, which earned him a huge hug and a rather lengthy kiss. I looked up and Tom, who firmly planted his hand on my back and walked me to the laptop that contained the song list.

“Your turn, my love.”

The left corner of my mouth turned down. “Um, you’re kind of a tough act to follow, you know.”

He shook his head. “I’ve heard you sing. No one will even remember what I did when you’re through.” He kissed my cheek and went to rejoin Luke and Simon, his phone in his hand, ready to record.

I considered Blondie’s ‘One Way or Another’ but decided it was a little too high for me in spots, thought about Adelle’s ‘Skyfall’, which was well within my range but not really a crowd pleaser, and then I found it. Amy Winehouse, ‘Back to Black’. A little raunchy at times, brutally honest and incredibly dark…rather like me. Perfection. It had been at least fifteen years since I’d sung in front of an audience of more than a few people in public, and they were forced to listen to me because we were in the grocery store or on a plane, but I was incredibly calm. I’d sung this one more times than I could remember, and I knew it inside out and upside down. I hit the button and grabbed the microphone, ready to roll.

Halfway through I noticed that the room had gone quiet, not a single sound to be heard other than the music and…me. I knew if I looked at Tom I’d fuck up royally, so I kept my eyes on the screen. When I finished the silence continued for what seemed like an eternity, broken suddenly by thunderous applause, whistles and cat calls. I bowed, then searched the faces around me, trying to find Tom. I saw Luke and Simon, but he wasn’t with them. I made my way over, head tilted, questioning.

Simon pointed to a nearby table. “Honey, you were so good the man had to go sit the fuck down. And I got it all on video. Luke filmed you, and I filmed Tom watching you. Your grandkids will thank me. Or throw up in their mouths a little. Something.”

I followed Simon’s finger, and there was Tom, sitting in a chair, legs spread wide, hands on his thighs, head down and looking at the floor. I approached him slowly, coming to rest between his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. I put one hand on his shoulder and the other on the back of his head, stroking his hair. I heard the first strains of Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ and turned to see Simon, mic in hand, doing his best impression of Rick’s dancing . I gently pried Tom’s arms from around me, slid down and squatted in front of him. His eyes were still directed at the hardwood floor. I leaned my head in and under in an attempt to get him to look at me.

“Hi there.” He raised his head ever so slowly, mouth turned up at the corners almost imperceptibly. His eyes wavered from angry to pained, aroused, and then to adoring as his emotions cycled. He stood, taking my hands and pulling me up with him, then let go so he could place them firmly on my shoulders as he stared at me.

His words came out haltingly, but firm. “I. Love. You.”

I reached out to cup his jaw and ran my thumb along his cheekbone. “And I love you.”

“That was both beautiful and terrible all at once, Maude.”

“Okaaaay…”

“There was so much pain in your voice…raw, naked, real pain.”

“Maybe I’m just a top-notch performer.”

He took two steps towards me, closing the gap between us, his hands still on my shoulders, eyes ablaze. “Is it wrong that I want to decimate whomever is responsible for that pain?”

I shook my head, wishing it was that simple. He let his hands slide down my arms until they were clutching my elbows.

“In addition to that, I’m overwhelmed with pride, joy, and, more than anything else, desire. Everything I’m feeling is a jumbled, incoherent mess and I need you in order to sort it all out. Right now. I need to be inside you, to feel you all around me, your skin against mine, flushed red by the pleasure we’re giving each other, enveloped by your scent…” His hands were shaking, eyes full of desperation. “I…I…just…I need you. I need you, lest I lose my fucking mind, Maude.”

It took all the willpower I possessed to not fuck him senseless right then and there. I felt in my pocket to make sure the car keys Luke had given me when we arrived were still there. Check. The vehicle was roomy enough, I thought, and the windows were darkly tinted to ensure the occupants could remain relatively anonymous. I pulled out my phone and shot off a quick text to Simon, who was just finishing up and basking in the accolades bestowed upon him by the bar’s patrons.

We’re taking a little ride. Won’t be long, about thirty or forty minutes max. Everything’s fine, Tom just needs some air. - XO, M

Talk about uncharted fucking territory. I pushed any negative thoughts aside, telling myself that yes, it is perfectly normal and absolutely possible to grow to love someone so deeply in such a short period of time that you began to need them as much as you needed…well, air. I took Tom by the hand and led him out to the parking lot, and he hesitated when I opened the door for him.

“Maude?”

“Get in the car, Tom.” He complied. I hopped in, put on my seat belt, turned the engine over, put it in reverse and backed out of the parking space. I forgot to brake as I tried to shift it into drive, corrected myself, and headed down the road to find what I was looking for. Two miles down, there it was. A large office complex, dimly lit and completely deserted as it had been when we passed it on the way to the bar. Since it was a holiday, I was reasonably sure it would remain that way. As I pulled into the lot Tom finally realized what I was up to. He unbuckled his seat belt, leaned into me and began licking the hollow between my collarbones as he wriggled his hand under the waistband of my baggy shorts.

“You need to stop that or I’m going to wind up driving the car right through the fucking building.”

He ignored me and began rubbing my mound with the palm of his hand while he slipped three fingers inside me. I drove around to the rear of the property and parked as far back as I could, right next to a privacy fence. He climbed on top of me as soon as I put it park, devouring my mouth, his free hand in my hair as the other worked me into a frenzy. I rode his hand, fingernails raking up and down the back of his white V-neck, screaming his name as I came. He opened the driver side door, rose up off of me and gracefully exited the vehicle, hand extended. I took it, and he helped me up. Neither of us spoke.

I opened the trunk, searched for our beach towels and spread all of them across the back seat, tucking the edges into the space between the top and the bottom of the bench. I didn’t think it was nearly long enough for him to stretch out, but we’d most likely be able to fit without having to leave the door open. I turned around to find him completely naked, cock standing proudly erect. I yanked my T-shirt over my head while he unhooked my bra, taking a breast in each hand, bending to suck on my nipples in turn as I wiggled out of my shorts and underwear. He stood back to look at me in the moonlight, fireworks sounding off in the distance and reflecting in his eyes, then moved closer to touch my face with his fingertips. He pushed me backward gently, motioning for me to lie down on the seat. I squirmed as I did, struggling to find a comfortable position, and when I finally stilled he bent over, entered the car headfirst, closed the door behind him, then crawled between my legs and up my body like a cat. He looked as if he wanted to eat me alive, and I was SO totally fine with that.

I could feel him hard against me, poised at my entrance. He stared at me, unmoving, waiting. For what, I didn’t know. His voice startled me when he spoke.

“Will you let me make love to you, Maude?”

I raised my hips, shifting so the head of his cock slid into me. “Please, Thomas. Fuck me.” He pulled back and out of my reach.

“No. I don’t want to just fuck you. I want to make love to you. Pleasure your body with the reverence it deserves.”

The realization that I had no idea what that actually meant hit me like a freight train. I panicked, then decided to opt for honesty.

“I don’t think I know how that’s supposed to work.”

“You let go and let me love you. That’s how it works.”

I frowned. “Still not getting it.”

He resumed staring at me, and it slowly dawned on me that what he so desperately needed was not just a physical connection, but an emotional one as well, wherein we focused on the way our bodies came together, instead of them just…coming. Two people becoming one. Possessing each other fully, completely. I twined my legs with his.

“Take me, Thomas. Make me yours.”

He thrust his tongue into my mouth as he sank into me, his lips finally closing over mine, our breath mingling. He propped himself up on his elbows, raised my hands so they lay beside my head, then wrapped his fingers around mine as he rested his full weight on me.

Our tongues danced around each other, pulling back, pushing forward, licking, mouths sucking, teeth biting. He lifted his head so he could meet my gaze as he began to move, a fraction of an inch at a time at first, finally pulling nearly all the way out then sheathing himself fully over and over again. I was panting, and the urge to clamp down on him was overwhelming, but I breathed deeply and concentrated on the way our bodies joined, fitting each other so perfectly, the way his cock felt when it was completely buried in my cunt, the way it dragged against my walls as he thrust in and pulled back again and again. This beautiful man above me, looking deep into my soul, making me feel like I was his entire world. And he was mine. There was nothing else, just us, skin on skin, pleasure emanating from where we connected, and I never wanted it to end.

I felt him twitch inside me, and our eyes locked. He sped up, full weight still on me, hips undulating like waves. My breasts moved with him as he rocked us, nipples rubbing against the hair on his chest, his pubic bone pressing deliciously against my clit with every thrust. The tension in my belly rose, setting me alight, the fire spreading throughout my entire body. When I began to shudder, he let go of my hands and slid both arms underneath me, raising my upper body to him, cradling me, one hand buried in my hair and holding my head, my name an invocation on his lips.

I wrapped my arms around him, clinging to him as if I were drowning and he was the only one who could save me, staring into his eyes as I…let go. It was almost an out of body experience, an orgasm that seemed to go on forever, involving every molecule that comprised the shell that housed my spirit. An explosion, bathing me in warm, bright light. And he was right there with me, coming and coming deep inside me, anointing our union with his essence.

I burst into tears, overcome with emotion. He moved his hands to my thighs, lifting me, and shifted us, still joined, to a sitting position so I was on his lap, holding me and rubbing my back as I sobbed against his neck.

“Shh, shh, I’m here, I’m here.”

The minutes ticked by, and as my storm subsided I lifted my head and brushed away my tears with my forearm, then placed my hands on either side of his face, leaning in close.

“I love you, Thomas. Sorry for falling apart. I…it’s…I…I’ve never experienced anything like what just happened before. Ever. Not even close. Thank you. For that. And for loving me.”

He rested his forehead against mine, eyes wet with tears of his own. “And oh, how I do love you. Please don’t be sorry, Maude. The fact that your feelings about me, about us, are so intense means…well, everything. And I’m the one should be thanking you. You gave me what I needed. You let me in. You let go. You gave me you. All of you.”

We held each other until I began tittering softly.

He cocked his head. “What?”

“Nothing.” He raised his brows at me. “Fine. It’s just…we’re having, like, this MOMENT and then I remembered that we’re naked in a fucking rental car in a parking lot on the 4th of July in Hawaii and that we totally ditched Simon and Luke at a bar like we’re a couple of fucking horny teenagers and…” I was laughing so hard that I thought I was going to pee my pants, and then I realized that I wasn’t wearing pants and that pushed me over the edge and I was crying again.

Tom’s laughter began as a low rumble in his chest, then escalated to full on guffawing, and soon enough we were both weeping and clutching at each other.

Once we could look at each other again without losing our shit, he grabbed the towel nearest to us and slipped it under me as I lifted myself off of him, then opened the car door to gather the clothes we’d strewn across the macadam. He dressed me, kissing me everywhere as he went. My ankles, the backs of my knees, my belly button, up and down my spine, my eyelids. When I wanted to return the favor he refused.

“If your lips even so much as graze my skin, we’ll never make it back to Nawiliwili tonight.”

Since he hadn’t even finished his first drink, I let him drive while I checked my phone. There was a text from Simon, sent five minutes ago.

Your forty minutes were up ten minutes ago, girlie. I’m a total slut for karaoke, but I don’t think my voice can take much more. Get your asses back here, please. – XO, S

I texted him back.

We’re on our way. Be there in two minutes. I’d say I’m sorry, but…I’m really not, so… - XO, M

He replied immediately.

Bitch. ;P – XO, S

We parked and walked in, hand in hand. Simon and Luke were chatting away with another couple, and as we approached them I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see the woman from earlier who’d been taking pictures of us. Tom looked at me, and I nodded and let go of his hand so he could go join Luke and Simon.

“Um, hi. I’m really sorry to bother you but I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about before. It was really wrong for me to take pictures of you guys when you’re just living your lives. That was a totally private moment. I mean, I wouldn’t want a stranger taking a picture of me and my boyfriend like that…anyway, I didn’t post them online or anything, and I deleted them off my phone. I was just really excited because I’m a big fan and…so, yeah. Sorry for being an asshole.”

I patted her arm and smiled. “Thank you for apologizing. And since you didn’t post them, you are absolutely not an asshole as far as I’m concerned. I completely understand how it happened. He’s just so damn beautiful, how could you not, right?” She laughed. “Want to meet him?”

She blushed and held up her hands. “Oh, no, no…I couldn’t, not after what I did, I feel like such a shit.”

“Don’t worry about it. Come on. And sorry, I forgot to ask…what’s your name?”

“Samantha.”

I shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Samantha. I’m Maude.”

Her blush deepened. “I know.”

I brought her over to Tom, introduced her and took their picture, and when I told her it was fine to post it online she said she’d think about it but would probably have it printed instead. She thanked us and went back to her group of friends across the room. As Luke took a handful of glasses back to the bar, Simon pointed at me accusingly.

“You’ve had your fun, now I want mine. For the love of Christ, let’s get OUT of here already. And please tell me you’re a fast driver. Please.”

I nodded. “I am. But I’m not driving. Tom is.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oy. He drives like my grandpa. We’ll just have to fuck in the backseat on the way there then, I guess.”

Tom snickered, and I pretended to smack the back of his head.

Simon’s face scrunched up in disgust. “You didn’t. Did you?” I shrugged. “You did!”

Luke returned, brow furrowed. “Did what?”

Simon shook his head. “You don’t want to know. All I’m sayin’ is that I’m putting towels down before I sit in that car.”

I held up a finger. “Yeah. About those towels…”

[sippin-on-red-wine]

High Tide | Chapter 4: Crazy Game of Poker

Title: High Tide, Chapter 4: Crazy Game Of Poker Author: @sippin-on-red-wine Rating: 17+, Mature (Sexy times) Word Count:  8,555 Author’s Note: I was hesitant to write this chapter, not sure if I was able to present the scene so that you could all imagine it the way I want you too. I hope that it comes through the way I intended!

Would love to see your feedback/requests/constructive criticism. Hit me up lovely ladies. And without further ado....

**Please like/re-blog!**

Previous Chapter

It was a hazy New England morning, thick mist shrouding the entire shoreline. The ocean, what little you could see of it, was a dark, dull steel color. A perpetual drizzle fell from the gray sky. Ed and I had spent most of the morning making love; slow, unhurried, just savoring every moment. It was quite intense, in the best possible way.

I had finally dragged my sorry butt out of bed, pulling on a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. Ed was still snuggled up under the covers, naked, watching me put away baskets of laundry.

“When’s your birthday, Kenn?”

“Oh, you just missed it, I'm afraid. August 18th.”

“I see...that explains some things,” he said with a wink.

“Like?” I set a stack of jeans down on top of my dresser, crossing the room over to the bed.

“Well you're a Leo, then, aren't you? Confident, sexy Lioness….”

I smiled, cocking an eyebrow. “That's right Teddy, and don't you forget it.” I pounced on the bed, straddling him, holding myself up on all fours.

“To be fair… I do have this,” he said, pointing to the great lion on his chest. “Oh and this, too,” fluffing his hair up.

“I’d say you're more of a lion cub, my dear,” I teased.

“I resent that, love. Are you staying in bed with me now?”

I kissed him on the forehead. “No, Cubby, it’s time for us BOTH to get up for the day.”

“I’ve already gotten it up today, more than once actually --”

“Cheeky!” I cried, climbing back out of the bed.

He laughed, threw back the covers and tugged on his faded sweats, sans boxers. “I’m going to head home, babe, I’ve got laundry of my own to do.”

“Okay, baby. I’ll be over at the shelter later today, by the way.” I set my little basket of clean socks on top of my dresser and started to pair them together.

Ed came up behind me, resting his head on my shoulder, his strong arms wrapping around me. “You have such a big heart, Kendra. I really love that about you.” He kissed the back of my neck. “I’m going to work on some music later, I think. Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow, though?”

I spun around, turning to face him. “Oh, shit - I totally forgot. I actually will be down in Portland for the night tomorrow, I’m going to see my favorite band, O.A.R.”

“They do ‘Hey Girl’, right?”

“Yes, that was probably their most mainstream single. Do you, like, want to come with me? I’ve only got one ticket but I could see if I could get another. They play a really fun show.”

“I would go anywhere with you, love, that was a silly question. I’m in.”

The sky was still lonely & gray, it didn't make for the most picturesque road trip. But the ruggedly handsome man in the passenger seat more than made up for it.

“I love this weather, it reminds me of home,” he had said, shifting his weight in his seat so that he could rest his left hand on my thigh. He looked hot as hell, dressed in dark denim jeans, gray sneakers and a navy blue long-sleeved cotton thermal shirt, a subtle “V” dipping down in the front to expose a bit of cream colored skin. “Have you been to England?” He asked.

“Actually, no. I'm not super-well traveled. I tend to stick to tropical-beach-paradise destinations when I vacation.”

“Oh, you don't know what you're missing. Endless gray skies in the English countryside! And THE BEST food. I can't wait to take you there.”

Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach, as they often did when Ed casually mentioned plans for our future. It sort of eased that elephant-in-the-room anxiety.

“I'm really stoked for the show, babe,” I said, sneaking another glance over at Ed. “But I'm even more excited for ho-.”

I faltered, regretting the words as soon as they were about to fall out of my mouth: Hotel Sex. It always been a novelty for me -- what was it about hotels that spiced up the intimacy a little bit? Was it just the change of scenery? It probably wasn't that hygienic when you really thought about it. But my stomach had sank as I realized that Ed had probably had far more hotel sex than I would ever care to think about.

I stammered, not wanting to finish my sentence.

“Babe?” He asked inquisitively.

“Um, I was going to say.. hotel sex...” I said, my voice trailing off. I felt super awkward at this point. Get over it, the past is the past.

“Hey, you.” He rubbed my leg. “Come back. You belong here, with me, thinking only about all the hot hotel sex WE are going to have tonight.” He chided, gently.

“Shit, I’m sorry. You’re right.” I took my right hand off the steering wheel to rest it on top of his. He pulled his seat belt loose, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.

“Could I borrow your phone, love? I forgot to bring my little Nokia and I should probably call Stu and give him a heads up that we are going out.”

“You got it. Tell him I said sorry for the, uh, mooning incident…. Blame it on the wine, yeah?”

He cackled, having apparently already forgotten all about that. I handed my cell over, watching him futz around on the screen. “Android crap,” he muttered, finally finding the keypad and punching in Stuart's mobile number.

I could very faintly hear the phone ringing, then Stu gruffly picking up.

“Oy, mate! It's Ed. What's up? Oh, I've forgotten my little flip phone, I'm calling from Kendra's - oh, yeah, she said she is very sorry for the, ah, incident the other night. Ha, I'll tell her. Yeah, so, we are going to a concert down in Portland, Maine tonight - just wanted to give you a….. Yeah, no, it's smaller, an old historic type theater, Aura something or other? Probably about 1,000 cap, max. It's O.A.R., yeah. Really? Great. Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, mate. No, she's... yeah, it's good. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.”

He struggled to hang up, somehow flipping the camera open by mistake. He switched the view around and held his right hand out toward the passenger window to snap a selfie of us. “Smile, love!” And handed the phone back.

“Hey, so, guess what? The band is actually with Atlantic as well, so that works out quite nicely.”

“Was Stu worried about like, security?” I asked, not wanting to sound stupid, but honestly wondering if Ed normally traveled with security people or a bodyguard.

“Well, yeah, I mean it shouldn't be that much of an issue, in this area at least. But the label will have security there so, it's an added bonus. OH - turn this song up!” He cried.

“Body like a back road,

Drivin’ with my eyes closed,

I know every curve like the back of my hand,”

He started singing along, his animated hands coming to life in time with the song. I turned up the volume and sang along.

“Doin’ fifteen in a thirty,

I ain't in no hurry,

I'ma take it slow just as fast as I can.”

We had made it to Portland and checked into the Danforth, having first stopped to get snacks & beer for the room. Ed was sprawled out on the king-sized bed, atop the duvet, while I changed into my concert clothes.

“I’m disappointed, love, I thought you’d be wearing your cute little yoga outfit all evening.”

“Nope, sorry, just wanted to wait until the last possible moment before having to put on a real bra,” I joked. Half-joked. I plopped my overnight bag down on the bed beside him, rummaging through to grab everything I needed. I headed into the bathroom to change. If any open nudity ensues, we probably won’t make it to the concert...

He was flipping through stations and had settled on a rerun of a Simpsons episode. I could hear him from the bathroom, rumpling the chip bag and popping the top on another beer. I got dressed quickly, donning a pair of distressed skinny jeans, an off-white crop top t-shirt and a red plaid shirt over the top of that, unbuttoned. I brushed through my hair, having already straightened it earlier that day, and through on some mascara and eyeliner. All set. I came out of the bathroom, balling up my comfy clothes and tossing them back into my duffel.

“I take it back, I’m no longer disappointed,” Ed said, giving me a once over. “Help me finish this beer and we can get going.”

I happily obliged, taking the bottle from his outstretched hand and finishing the rest in one fell swallow. Ed got up from the bed, clicking the tv off. He pulled on a gray beanie that covered most of his adorable fluffy mop of hair.

I grabbed my over-the-shoulder purse and threw in room key, cash, ID and a credit card along with a hair tie and coconut chapstick. “OH, I nearly forgot!”, I exclaimed, once again digging through my overnight bag. I pulled out four brand new packs of playing cards. “Would you mind tucking these in your pockets, Ed, they don’t fit in my little purse?”

He eyed the decks of cards, “Um… what are these for?”

“You’ll see!” I said with a wink, and tucked them into the back pockets of his jeans, copping a bit of a feel. I tugged on my cream-colored converse lowtops and we were on our way. The hotel door closed behind us and we headed down the hallway to the elevator, hand in hand. He pressed the down arrow button and we waited until the doors popped open with a Ding!

The elevator was empty, save for us. Ed hit the Lobby button and immediately turned around, pushing me up against the wall of the elevator. His mouth was at my neck; his hands stroking the few inches of my stomach that were exposed in my crop top. “I already can’t wait to get back to the room with you, love...” He growled at my throat, the faint scent of ale floating up to my nose.

Another Ding! And we were stopping on another level to pick up more passengers. Ed quickly backed away and stood next to me, holding my hand innocently again. I glanced at him through the corner of my eye and he was smirking, clearly very pleased with himself. You’re going to pay for that, Sheeran.

We crossed the black and white check tile of the lobby floor out to the street. The theater was only a few blocks away, and with Ed in long sleeves and a beanie, we didn’t have to worry much about being recognized. We strolled down the sidewalk, old brick buildings rising up on either side of us. The air was definitely brisk, that lovely scent of fall that could only be described as ‘brisk.’

There was a short line down the sidewalk in front of the entrance to the theater. We stopped to queue up, and Ed drew me into his chest to warm me up a bit, resting his chin on top of my head as he so often did.

Eventually we got to the front of the line, and I pulled open my phone with our GA tickets. We made our way in, walking past the merch stand and getting in line to grab a couple of beers.

The theater was really old but had recently been renovated, so it had that rustic-but-modern feel. Luckily there weren’t many people here yet, at least in the General Admission section, so we walked in and got great spots about 5-6 people back from the stage. GA took up about half of the main floor, with proper seats on an incline behind the section. There was also one balcony level.

We drank our beers (begrudgingly, as all they had was Miller Lite on tap) and chatted while we waited for O.A.R. to come out, talking mostly about music.

“First concert you ever attended?” He fired off.

“2001. N*Sync. No Strings Attached tour. Top 5 best nights of my life, to date.”

He cackled. “I love that. And where did you learn to sing?”

“Erm, I don’t really… I’m not a ‘singer’, Ed, let’s be real. But I did a lot of musical theater in my younger years, and I was a Madrigal Singer in high school.” He had a puzzled look on his face. “Like, we dressed up in renaissance-style outfits and sang Christmas carols at nursing homes and grocery stores…”

“PLEASE tell me there are photos of this,” he cried out. Just then, the lights began to dim in the theater.

The band came out on stage, the crowd coming alive.

Ed…………..

Kendra had absolutely lit up as soon as the band came out and played a riff from their first number. It was a 5 piece band, including a saxophone.

The crowd was totally alive, the band clearly had a pretty dedicated following.

“I put my two hands up, I surrender,

Come and lock me up, here forever,”

Kendra was super into the song, singing the lyrics back at the band, throwing her arms up into the air, spilling a bit of her beer as she waved them around. She whipped her head around, giggling, and mouthed “Sorry!” I watched as she slammed the rest of her beer, right down the hatch. This girl.

The band played on, the crowd getting increasingly more fired up, Kendra included. She was bopping around, wiggling and shaking along with each song. The lights shone down on us from the set behind the band, highlighting the sheen on her skin from dancing so much. At one point she handed me her purse, shrugging off her plaid shirt and tying it around her waist. Fuck, she looks good.

She turned around to face me, grabbing my hands and pulling me into a dance with her. The song was bright, percussion-heavy, and the dude on the sax was really giving it. We jumped and threw our arms up in the air, laughing at each other.

At the close of that song, the lead singer switched out to an acoustic guitar. “Let's slow things down a bit, for all the lovers out in the crowd tonight,” And the crowd hushed.

She had turned back toward the stage to watch. I pulled her in, close to my body, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. She turned, facing me, wrapping her arms up around my neck.

“I just wanna make you laugh,

I just wanna see that smile,

Babe we're only here, oh for a little while,

I just wanna hold you til we fall asleep,

I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me

I want peace,”

She sang the words to me, smiling, our eyes just locked onto one another’s. And I knew. I didn't know if it was this little bubble we were living in, or because I was so miserable before her. Maybe she was another vice for me, her beautiful body & soul intoxicating me every moment we were together. Her beautiful, expressive brown eyes. Maybe it was the way she doubled over in laughter, or cried when those sad animal commercials came on tv.

I didn't know if she felt the same way, but I didn’t care. She had come into my life right when I least expected it. She felt like home.

It was too soon, sure. But in that moment, our sweaty bodies pressed together, a shower of colored lights shining down on us, I knew I loved her.

Kendra…………..

Is he having a good time? I can't tell. Does he think they suck? OH, fuck, I love this song --

'Peace’ had ended and the band was kicking it back into high gear with 'Gotta Be Wrong Sometimes’. Ed was standing beside me, watching me pretty intently. I found it a bit odd, as usually, at a concert, you watch the band… but… whatever.

A couple more songs passed, and then O.A.R. hit us with the golden ticket: the opening riff of That Was A Crazy Game of Poker. The crowd went fucking mental; as did I. I cheered, then quickly turned to Ed. “Baby! It’s time!” and I reached into his back pockets to grab out the decks of playing cards. “Here, help me open these..” I requested.

Marc, the lead singer, was doing the lead-up part. “Here I am, once again, life-life in my hands, I’m playing cards with the devil again…. Oh no, oh my…”

I quickly shucked the cards from their little cardboard box, and Ed followed suit.

“Oh myyyyyyyy….. Twenty thrown down, in my…”

It was a spectacle, in the best way possible: Playing cards were raining down all around us, as the crowd started launching theirs toward the stage. Cards of every suit were floating down from the balcony, too. Ed looked up and around with a sense of childlike wonder. He folded his cards up into a bridge, as if he were going to shuffle them, and sent them launching up, straight above us, into the frenzy of red, black and white.

The song was in full-force by this point. “That was a crazy game of poker.. I lost it all,” I saw Ed mouth “Fucking cool.”, then he grabbed me around my waist and kissed me. It was like the whole scene disappeared; the stage, the lights, the deafening music, the whole crowd that surrounded us. All that was there was him & me, our lips locked, holding each other. I wanted so badly to run my fingers through his hair so I pulled off his gray beanie, fluffing those curly locks up with my fingers, then held his face to mine as we explored each others mouths.

The song ended, audience roaring with cheers and applause. Ed was grinning down at me, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. The lights began to come back on. There weren't many exits, so we stayed put while most of the crowd began to slowly filter out.

“Did you have fun, Teddy?” I asked.

“Yes, absolutely. The card thing was so cool. They played a great show. You've seen them live before, yeah?”

“Oh, gosh, yes - quite a few times. I still need to make it out to Red Rocks one of these times. Their concert album from there is my favorite.”

“In Colorado? I've played there. It's quite cool, being in the side of a mountain and all.”

“What? No way! Are you stopping there again on your tour that's coming up?”

“Um, no, the upcoming tour has venues a bit... bigger than that.”

“Looks like we can clear out now,” I said, nodding to the main exit.

“Are you ready to go home, so soon?” He flashed that devilish grin at me.

“Well after your little declaration in the elevator…” I said, tucking my thumbs in the waistband of his jeans.

“Mmm, that's right,” he said, playfully biting on his bottom lip. “Afraid you’ll have to wait a bit longer, love. That is, unless you don't care to meet the band?”

My eyes widened. “WHAT?!”

He smiled, pulling me in close and kissing the tip of my nose. “Yeah, well like I said, we’re label-mates and it would be rude of me not to introduce myself…unless you’d rather just head back now,” he said with a wink.

“Um, HELL. No.” He laughed. “I wasn't expecting this, Ed, it's really sweet. Thank you.”

He rubbed his thumbs over the tops of my hands, which he was holding between us. “Well in reality, you should be thanking Stuart, he made the call. But, please don't thank him with a kiss. I'll take the kiss.” He said, pointing to his scruffy cheek.

“Smart ass,” I retorted, giving him a peck, and pinching his ass at the same time.

“She's feisty!” He laughed, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me toward the stage. There was a door to the right with an out-of-shape dude dressed in all black standing outside of it. Oh, security, I mused.

Ed approached, dropping my hand and gave the guy a handshake and pat on the shoulder. He tilted his head up and must have said the right thing, because the guard stepped aside, opening the black door.

“Thanks, mate,” Ed said as we passed by. The door led to the wings of the stage, past all the drops. It seemed like Ed knew exactly where he was going, a skill which I attributed to him having spent a lot of time in venues just like this one. We heard some loud conversations coming from down a hallway, at the end of which was a partially open door  labeled “GREEN ROOM” when Ed looked back at me over his shoulder. “Excited, love?” I nodded, indicating No Shit, trying to keep my cool.

Marc, the lead singer, was perched on the arm of a sofa and saw us walking up to the door. “Hey!” he shouted with a smile, striding across the room, hand outstretched. He pulled Ed in with a slap on the back. “Nice to finally meet you, brother! Come on in!”

“Yeah, you as well! Sorry it hasn’t been sooner,” Ed replied. Holy shit. They were all there. Marc, Jerry, Benj, and Chris - plus a few people I didn’t recognize. Ed tucked his arm around my waist, bringing me forward. “Hey, this is Kendra.”

“Lovely to meet you!” Marc said as he pulled me in for a quick hug. The room erupted in sounds, everyone standing up to shake hands and introduce themselves to Ed. “What’d you think of the show?” Marc asked.

“It was great - as ALWAYS! Huge fan of your music.” I saw Ed taking selfies with some women on the other side of the room.

“Yeah, you’ve been to many shows?” He asked.

“Sure, a handful. Think I saw you for the first time back in like, 2003 at Summerfest in Milwaukee?”

“Shit - we love playing there! Are you from Milwaukee? My wife, Tess, is -- Tess, come here!” He reached his arm out, beckoning the tall, beautiful blonde that was taking selfies with Ed.

The room was a flurry of conversations, Tess coming over to meet me, introducing her friend Jenna (who was married to Benj). Ed was making his rounds, talking animatedly with his hands, even more so than usual.

Eventually Ed wound up back by me. “So, the guys have an after-party set up downtown to celebrate the first night of their tour, do you want to go check it out?” He had a big grin on his face.

“Yes, let's go,” I replied, taking his hand.

“We’ll meet you guys down there, yeah?” Ed called out, waving, and we walked out of the room.

We climbed an old, dimly lit staircase to the second story. A bouncer sat outside the door. He gave us a quick once-over and motioned us inside. It was a pretty cool loft bar, all full of exposed brick and metal accents. Typical ‘industrial chic’ style interior. What looked like old railroad ties were mounted to the ceilings as beams. The floor was hardwood, shiny, so it must have been resurfaced.

The bar was to the left, spanning along the entire south wall. Glass shelves lined the wall, littered with liquor bottles of all shapes, sizes and colors. There was a DJ booth, a small stage area and a dance floor. On the other side of the room were high-backed booths lining the walls, with cocktail tables in front of them, and ottomans on the other side of the tables. Seemed like a cool place.

I followed Ed to the bar, sidling up next to him. The bartender looked young, he was dressed in all black and had a buzzcut. He spotted us at the end of the bar, and if he recognized Ed, didn’t show it. “What can I get for you?”

“Yeah - your best white tequila - anything but Patròn. Five shots of that, shaken with a shot of passionfruit juice - do you have that?” He nodded. “Great, yeah, five shots of tequila, one shot passionfruit, shake it over ice and poured. We’ll take two of those to start, thanks mate.”

I cocked an eyebrow. Tequila, for me? Wouldn’t have been my first choice, but there was something sexy about Ed ordering for me.

Ed…………..

I laughed, watching Kendra from across the room. She was teaching a couple of gals next to her how to shake bar dice and they had probably done, oh, maybe four shots in the last half hour? She had already been quite buzzed and as it was pretty late in the night, I figured this would really put her over the edge.

I had been tempted to really throw it in, too, but wanted to kind of take things slow as it was the first time we were out at a party together. Admittedly, it was really easy for me to fall down the party “rabbit hole” and end up sleeping in the grass somewhere on the way to where I needed to be.

I walked toward the bar, Kendra catching my eye. Her face lit up and she came to meet me halfway, throwing her arms around me like she hadn't seen me in a few days.

“Teddy!” She cried, throwing her arms out. She cupped my face, giving me a big smack on the lips.

“Hi, love, having fun?” I asked.

“Yes! So much. Gosh, I haven't been out in soooo long.”

“Do you want to head back to the hotel soon?”

She glanced at the clock behind the bar. “Oh, holy shit. It *is* late! Yeah, we can get going, let's just say goodbye?”

We were sat in the backseat of the taxi. Kendra let out a big *huff*

“Ed. I haven’t had tequila since college, and I forgot there was a reason for that, but guess what……..there’s a reason for that.”

I chuckled. “And why exactly is that?”

“This!” She cried, pointing at herself.

“You’re thoroughly pissed, aren’t you?”

“No! Am I? YOU should be pissed at ME. Sorry about… this.” Again, she just gestured up and down her body.

“No, love, ‘pissed’... like, drunk?”

“OH God. No. Well, true, I can’t feel my knees right now.” She giggled. Then gasped. “Ed, did I embarrass you at the bar? Is that why you wanted to go?”

I kissed her on the tip of her little button nose. “No, baby, you didn’t.” I said, rubbing the top of her thigh.

“I am starving. Can we get pizza, Teddy?” She rose up on her knees, swinging a leg over my lap, now straddling me in the backseat of the taxi. “I need pizza. And sex. Pizza and sex, please,” Her mouth was on my neck.

The cab driver looked back at me in the rearview mirror, clearly not amused. I grabbed onto her hips, gently lowering her back down onto the cool leather seat. “Come on, you, the driver can't see out the window. Keep it in your pants for a minute, yeah?” I chuckled.

“I can't keep it in my pants for pizza, Teddy.”

“Here, give me your phone, I'll find something to order.”

She dug in her little purse, extracting her cell and handing it over. “You're my hero.” She looked like a cartoon character with throbbing red hearts in place of her eyes.

I ran a quick Google search for pizza delivery, as we pulled up in front of the hotel. I handed the driver a $50 note for his trouble. I climbed out of the taxi, dialing the pizza place, and walked around to the other side of the car to get the door for Kendra. She quite resembled a fawn learning to walk, as she uncrossed her legs and stepped up and out of the cab.

“Hi, I'd like delivery please? To the Danforth, downtown? Room 112.” Kenda threaded her arm through my elbow, and I closed the car door behind her. “Yeah can I get an extra large pepperoni, please?” We headed into the hotel lobby.

“EXTRA CHEESE PLEASE!” She chimed in, leaning over to shout into the phone.

“Did you get that? Okay, great, thanks mate.” I hung up the phone and slipped it into my pocket for safekeeping.

“Ah, pizzaaaaaa.” She sighed, clinging onto my arm, flashing those big almond-shaped eyes up at me.

“You are so silly, d’you know that?”

“You are so SEXY, did YOU know THAT??” She exclaimed. We were stopped in front of the elevator, her not-so-quiet tone echoing up to the tall ceilings in the lobby. I glanced over at the older gentleman who was behind the reception desk. He gave me a head nod and a wink.

Ding! The doors opened, and I gave her a little push on her bottom into the elevator. “Get in there, love,” I said with a sly smile.

She was on me instantly, wrapping her arms up around my neck. I lifted her up, holding her up against the elevator wall again, like before.

I kissed her neck, she giggled. I nipped her earlobe, more giggles. “Tell me more about 'tequila in college’...” I breathed into her ear. Giggles.

Ding! We were at our floor. I set her down, gently, making sure she was going to remain upright.  

”“2-4-1 Margarita night. BIG margaritas, Teddy. Like fishbowl-big.”

“Say no more. Come on,” I tugged her by the hand, leading her down the carpeted hallway to our room. “You’ve got the room key, yeah?” She rummaged around in her little purse, finding the key card and pulling it out. She scanned it in front of the door and pushed it open. We walked in, she instantly flung off her purse and kicked off her chucks.

She untied the plaid shirt that was still wrapped up around her waist, throwing it down on the bed. “Ed, I’m going to rinse off in the shower! I got so sweaty tonight,” She was unbuttoning her distressed jeans, shimmying them down over her hips. She was wearing a plain black thong underneath…. Yum. Her crop top came off next, her clothes now abandoned in the middle of the room. She was wearing an elaborate lace bra, a pale creamy color against her olive-y complexion.

I was leaned up against the door, still, admiring the view. “Want me to join you, love?” I asked.

“I’m going to be quick! You stay here in case the pizza guy comes!”

She picked up her overnight bag and carried it toward the bathroom, stopping in front of me, standing up on her tiptoes to give me a kiss.

I kicked off my trainers, locating the T.V. remote and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to find a movie or something to put on. Kendra was singing in the shower, loudly. A country song, by the sounds of it. At least she’s a happy drunk, I mused. I hadn’t realized how sloshed she was until we left the bar.

There was a knock at the door, Kendra must have heard it too, because the shower promptly shut off. I swung open the door and paid the delivery driver. Our room didn’t have a proper table so I sat the pizza down on the bed, then went over to the little mini fridge, hoping it would be stocked. Ginger ale, perfect.

She emerged from the bathroom, still wet from the shower. She was all wrapped up in a big fluffy towel, her dark hair piled on top of her head.

“Oh, fuck yes.” She said (to herself? I think?), plopping down on the bed in her towel. She unhinged the cardboard box, snatching a slice up in one hand, and the tv remote in the other. She took a big bite, literally moaning, “This is sooo good.” God, was she cute.

I brought her over some napkins and a can of ginger ale. “I’m going to take a quick shower too, babe.”

“Here, have a bite of this first, it’s sooooo good.”

I obliged, taking a bite of her gooey, cheesey pizza. “Oh, shit, this IS good,” I said, taking the slice out of her hand. I walked away with a wink. She just shrugged and dug into the box for another slice, flipping through channels on the T.V.

I scarfed down the rest of my slice, grabbed my duffel and headed into the shower. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the walk-in shower, adjusting the knobs until I got the right temperature.

“Babe! Jurassic World is on!” She hollered from the other room. Her voice was muffled, her mouth likely full of pizza.

I stood under the hot spray, ruminating over the day, the moments flashing by my eyes like Polaroid snapshots. Kendra, cruising down the highway, laughing as I told her stories about stupid shit I'd done. Kendra, jumping and throwing her hands up at the show. The way her hair fell over her shoulders when she wrapped her arms around my neck. The flurry of playing cards, falling down all around us. Watching her strike up a conversation with any random nearby person at the bar. Surprising me by pulling the cigarette from my hand on the bar's balcony and taking a deep drag of it. Kendra, “I can't keep it in my pants for pizza, Teddy.”

I realized I was just standing there, daydreaming, and I made quick work of shampooing my hair and soaping up the body. I rinsed off and popped out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry off.

I slipped on a pair of boxers from my duffel, then towel-dried my hair as best I could.

Shutting the light off in the bathroom, I came out to find Chris Pratt riding a motorbike alongside four Raptors on the television..and, Kendra, passed the fuck out. She was propped up against the headboard, a mountain of pillows behind her. She was clutching the TV remote with one hand, and her other hand was in the pizza box beside her. I retrieved her cell off the dresser and snapped a picture, the scene was too good not to.

Oh, I should have known. Get a little grub in the girl and she'd go right to sleep. I've been cockblocked by pizza.

I walked around to her side of the bed, slithering the remote out of her hand, and tossed it over to my side. I gathered up the pizza box, setting it on the dresser. I didn't want to move her too much, so I found an extra blanket in the front closet and covered her up.

She didn't so much as stir through all that commotion. I hit the lights and slid under the sheets, watching the raptor squad try to take down the Indominous. Sweet dreams, sweet girl.

Kendra…………..

My brain registered that I was awake, taking a full minute to send the signals to my heavy eyelids to open.

Where -- Oh, hotel.

I gave myself a mental body scan. OK - slight headache, nothing near what you deserve for how many drinks you had last night. Stomach is good. Shit, I'm naked? No. Got a towel on. Lovely. Throat feels funny - OH MY GOD did I smoke last night? I totally did. Need water.

I was almost in a sitting position, propped up on a number of pillows. The TV was still on, casting a hazy glow over the room. The curtains weren't shut, but it was still pitch dark outside. The clock on my nightstand read 4:37a.

I looked down to my left, Ed was asleep, under the proper comforter, his head laying on a throw pillow from chair in our room. Memories from the night before (or, same day?) rushed back. You boozy idiot. Molesting Ed in a taxi, shouting in the hotel lobby and stuffing your face with pizza before passing out in a towel. Get your shit together.

Poor guy. He really had the patience of a saint, didn't he? Perhaps he deserves a reward….

I slipped out of bed, tripping over my tired feet to the bathroom. I slammed a glass of water straight from the faucet, and brushed my teeth.

Ed was still asleep, his mouth partially open, snoring quietly. Was he naked? All that peeked out from the comforter was his left arm, in all it's tattooed vibrancy. He definitely doesn't have a shirt on..

I crept over to the bed, slowly peeling back the covers to expose this sexy man. Shoulders, chest, belly… a thick, gray waistband of his favorite boxer briefs. Fuzzy, muscled thighs... yummy.

He groaned, rolling over on his side, apparently unhappy with his warm covers being taken. I dropped the towel, discarding it in a pile around my feet, and sidled in next to him in the bed, pressing every inch of flesh against his exposed skin.

I dragged my fingertips down his bicep, scratching likely. He began to stir, waking slowly, his feet stretched out at the end of the bed. I kissed the back of his neck, a wet kiss, sucking on his pale skin, nibbling at the close of the kiss.

He rolled over, stretching his limbs in the process

“Hi, baby..” I spoke softly, wanting to wake him up gently.

“Mmmm. Hi.” He rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Shhhh,” I pressed my fingers to his lips, quickly following up with my mouth. I rocked him backwards, til he was lying flat on his back. I pulled myself on top of him so that our bodies were chest-to-chest, loving the feeling of his hot skin on mine.

I reached back to find his cock, already firming. I traipsed my fingers over the thin fabric, stroking him slowly, feeling him come to life under my touch.

I kissed Ed’s collarbones, letting my wet lips drag over his skin as I made my descent. I let the tip of my tongue dance over his nipple, flicking softly. He groaned, the vibrations rippling down his torso. Ed brought his hands up to my shoulders, applying a bit of pressure, essentially guiding me downwards, showing me what he wanted. Sexy.

I increased the pressure on his cock, pressing into it, now fully erect. I kissed down the soft curve of his belly, leaving a little nip on his hip bone.

I sat back on my heels, tugging the elastic band on his boxers down, his rigid cock springing free. I dragged the boxers down and over his ankles, discarding them on the floor.

I settled in, laying on my belly between his legs, my knees bent up behind me, ankles crossed. I gripped the base of his cock properly, and ran my flattened tongue up the underside of his shaft, wetting it with my saliva.

I repeated this, tantalizing him with my tongue,until I heard his heavy breathing. I propped myself up on my elbows, one on either side of his hips, my full breasts resting just below his pelvis.

I flicked my hair over my shoulder, the long tresses falling back into place almost immediately. He must have noticed my struggle, because he threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling it away from my face, wrapping his knuckles up in it. I glanced up at him, locking my eyes on his.

I moved my hand up to the plump, pink head, rubbing the underside with my thumb - then enveloped the whole tip on my mouth, swirling my tongue all around him. He groaned, again, “Fuck,” tumbling out of his mouth.

I took him into my mouth, slowly, flattening my tongue as it glided over his shaft, feeling the thick vein that protruded slightly.

He pushed his hips up toward me, in a soft thrusting motion. I took the hint and started sucking him harder, meeting each thrust with my mouth; hot and wet over his shaft. I took him deeper into my throat, relaxing my gag reflexes, letting his tip brush up on the roof of my mouth, way in the back.

“Fucking love your mouth, baby,” he breathed, his voice ragged. “Just like that, yeah,”

I cupped his balls with my free hand, massaging lightly. He was responding, thrusting up into my mouth a little faster. I hummed, taking him deep into my mouth, faster and faster, the vibrations certainly reaching him. He gripped my makeshift ponytail a little tighter, his breathing ragged.

“Kenn, I'm going to come, yes, fuck - unghh!” I took his full length into my mouth, his warm fluids running down my throat.

I eased up on his shaft, licking up the sticky fluids.

Ed let go of my hair, smoothing it off and away from my face. “It's so hot when you swallow for me, love…” Ugh. His dirty mouth will be the end of me.

“I like making you feel good, Teddy,” I said, simply. Raising up on all fours and climbing back up to rest my head next to his.

“You're not sleepy again, are you?” He asked, flipping his body on top of mine, pinning me down. “Because I am not nearly done with you, yet...” He growled at my throat. Fuck.

His hand reached down to my core, dipping just a fingertip into my folds. “Mmmm,” he moaned.

I was dying for more of his touch, wriggling under his hold, desperately seeking more friction on my pelvis. “Teddy,” I whined.

“Turn over for me, baby?” He used his fingertips to gently guide my body, flipping me over so that I was flat on my tummy. I turned my cheek to the side, laying it against the cool, smooth sheets, my arms laid flat above my head. Ed was sitting back on his heels, anchored between my legs, one of my knees on either side of him. I was super exposed in this position. Ed's hands were tracing my outline, stopping to stroke the pale expanse of skin that was my under-breast, using feather-light strokes.

His talented hands wandered down to my ass next, rubbing and kneading my cheeks and low back. He pushed his thumbs into the small of my back in tight circles, melting away any stress that had been living there.

The hands moved back down to my ass, his flat palms warming the skin there, running over every piece of exposed flesh.

The small length of one fingertip just barely touched my slit. “Is this okay, Kendra?” He asked quietly, stroking me up and down.

“Yes, fuck yes, Teddy,”

His rough finger traced the outline of my opening, then dipped in, just knuckle-deep. I groaned, pushing my butt out towards him, exposing myself even more.

He was rubbing circles into the small of my back with one hand, as he sank a second finger into my slick hole, twisting as he pulled in and out. “You’re practically dripping, darling girl, do you like taking me in your mouth that much?” Why yes, I do.

He pulled out, leaving a noticeable void where I was just starting to get warmed up. “Nooo,” I sputtered.

“Relax, kitten, I've got you,” his voice was low and husky now. He gripped his rock hard cock, smacking it lightly on my ass.

He leaned forward over my body, grabbing two of the fluffy pillows at the top of the bed. “Lift up?” He said, gripping my hip bones and helping raise up my pelvis, sliding the pillows under me. My whole core was elevated now, ass up in the air, my upper body slanted downward. I stretched my arms out ahead of me, bracing myself on my forearms.

He lined up his tip with my opening, wetting the head in my folds, practically dripping at this point. I shook my hips back and forth, softly, teasing him. “Mmmm, feisty…” he muttered.

His cock entering me was pure fucking bliss, his rigid shaft sinking into me, my pink flesh giving way to accommodate his girth & length. “Fuck,” tumbled out of his mouth, a hard emphasis on the 'k’ sound. It was our first time in this position, the sensation of him entering me from behind totally new. His hands were flattened on my back, fingers splayed out, running them slowly up my spine as he took his time entering me.

The angle was different than what I was used to with him, and when he finally sank into me fully, there was a tiny twinge of pain on my back wall. I drew in a sharp breath, relishing in the feeling.

He anchored his hands on my hips and started to work in and out of me, sooo slowly, pulling all the way out of me with each thrust. I pictured him; his silky ginger hair ruffled down over his forehead, his head hung low and he was undoubtedly paying very close attention to the connect and disconnect of our bodies. Ed was a watcher, that much was for sure.

The ridge on the head of his cock dragged at my wet opening with every pass, the sensation was fucking delectable. I loved when he fucked me this way, slow and purposeful. The moments between each thrust were practically suspended in time, my breath gated, waiting for the next wave to crest.

Our physical chemistry was off the charts; I had never experienced anything like it. In past relationships, I was always a little insecure or nervous during sex, but Ed could put me in the most vulnerable position and it only served to turn me on more.

I was whimpering, torn between wanting this achingly slow lovemaking, and wanting to be well & truly fucked. Ed had way more patience than me.

I pushed my hips back against him, meeting each thrust. He released his hands from my hips, dragging his fingertips over my ass, rubbing and kneading the soft flesh. I intensified my pace, pushing myself over him again and again, a little faster each time. He eased off on his own thrusting, letting me take the reins, his hands falling to his sides.

“Yes, baby, fuck my cock, yes,” he sputtered.

I found my rhythm, taking him into me as deeply as I could, his cock hitting that front wall with a thud and a dull ache. The groans spilling out of Ed’s mouth were like nothing I had heard from him before; they were wild, primal. It drove me crazy.

His hands were on me again; his left grabbing hold of my hip, taking back some of the control. His right hand snaked down, around my front, finding my clit and applying just steady, unrelenting pressure. No circles, no grinding, he just held his thumb and middle fingertips to my sensitive little bundle, his thrusts into me pushed my pelvis up against his fingers and the pillows, giving me the pulsation I needed.

It was so unbelievably sexy, Ed fucking me from behind, burying his cock in me, his breathing heavy and ragged. His calloused fingertips steady on my clit, God, his brain must be torn… instinctively probably wanting to just fuck me like his life depended on it, but needing me to get off, too, before he could let himself go.

I swear my nerves were singing, the constant pace on my clit matching the thrusts as I took Ed in, over and over, his pelvis colliding into me. I was climbing, climbing -- swiftly sailing up towards that white-hot heat. I hung on to it as long as I could, trying to delay the inevitable, the struggle making it that much sweeter.

“Ohmygod - Teddy - Fuck,” I shouted, and it all came crashing down. I clenched my thighs together, riding out the aftershocks, my vaginal muscles contracting around him. He leaned over me, planting a sloppy, wet kiss on each of my vertebrae.

The scruff of his ginger beard scratched up against the skin between my shoulder blades, his fingers reaching up to comb through my hair. “I want to see you, Kendra.” He eased off of my back, pulling the pillows out from under me, and quickly slipped out of me. I shifted my weight, turning onto my back. Ed nudged himself between my thighs again, and propped one of the discarded pillows behind my head. This sweet, tender man who brushed the stray hairs off my face and ensured I was comfortably propped up was the same man who had been fucking me wildly, guttural sounds spilling from his mouth just minutes ago. I scored, big-time.

“Teddy, I --” What. Shit. No. “T-think you are so amazing,” Did I falter? “That felt so amazing.” Okay, you got it.

He grinned, gripping his cock and sinking into me once again. “I think you are so amazing, too, Kendra..” and his mouth came crashing down on mine, his desperate need transferring to me. “I love the way you come undone for me..”

Our bodies crashed together, rocking totally in sync. I let my hands wander his his back; touching, teasing, scratching.  He was gliding into me in long, steady strokes, like he was just trying to get as close to me as he possibly could. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his breath moist and hot on my skin. I brought a hand up to his hair, twisting his curly locks into my fingers.

“Harder, Teddy,” I moaned into his ear, his body responding immediately.

He propped himself on his hands, kissing my forehead, pounding into me again, frenzied. I brought my hands up to my breasts, rolling my nipples between my fingers. I squeezed my eyes closed, straining my head back, moaning -- I knew full well this would be quite the sight for him.

“Yes, baby, yes,” I cried out, eyes still clamped closed. I let go of my breasts, letting them sway up and down as he fucked into me.

“Do you want me to come for you, Kenn?” He could barely get the words out.

I opened my eyes, then, meeting his gaze directly. “No, Teddy, don’t come yet --”

I watched him fall over the edge as soon as the words were out of my mouth, a series of breathy Ah, ah, ahs tumbling out of his mouth as his hips stuttered into mine. He collapsed onto my chest.

“I’m sorry - I couldn’t hold on,” he rasped.

I ran my fingers through the damp curls at the back of his neck. “It’s okay, Teddy, I figured telling you not to come would only make you want to come more…”

“You’re fucking right it did,” He kissed me; open-mouthed but no tongue. “I’m going to get up now...any second.”

I pulled him in, closer to me, wrapping my arms around his sexy shoulder blades. “Shh, just stay here with me,” I whispered. I bent my right knee, bringing it up towards my waist, cradling Ed between my legs, his cock still solid inside me, and we both closed our eyes and drifted off.

[marcoacesabo]

The Dance Instructor

Part 2: Marco’s dilemma 

The blond arrives home with a skip in his step, a happy humming in his throat and bright eyes. He managed to get off early today thanks to the project getting a few days ahead of schedule, allowing him to take rare time off for himself while in the middle of a new production.

Which means he could spend that time with his fiance.

 Ace had been putting in some extra hours in work- something to do with helping Luffy which honestly didn’t surprise him- and though they did live together and saw each other in the mornings it wasn’t the same as when they both had time to be together.

Not that Marco was mad at the raven haired man because he too worked long hours and most of the week. It would be hypocritical of him to expect Ace to wait at home for him and get mad when he tried to work harder. He couldn’t expect to have his other half put him above everything else in his life. 

That wasn’t how relationships work if you asked Marco. Equal respect and communication were key, and with Ace, he found that. Most of his past relationships didn’t understand, many angered that his family and his work were first when the relationship began. 

Not Ace. no Ace nodded with an approving smile  while saying “If you ever try to distance me from Luffy I would kick your ass!”

 This happened on their third date and the first time Marco thought he could truly love the man for the rest of his life. 

Ace made him feel young. Being with him was like a never ending adventure, that left Marco on his toes. He was learning new things about the raven haired man all the time, surprises at every corner. He loved it.

Now almost two years later, he was going to be marrying that man. The thought always warms his heart because he managed to snatch the best man on the market and Marco was damn grateful Ace thought of him as worthy.

That’s why he always tried to sweep him off his feet at any opportunity available. 

Glancing down at the roses he bought on a whim- Ace loved romantic gestures like these- the blond smile grows. He knows his fiance doesn't work today meaning he wouldn’t be expecting him home until late. 

Wouldn’t he be surprised to have the blond take him out to eat? Maybe go walk on the beach afterward and if he was up to it have a nice night of lovemaking or talking, either was fine with him-

“Wow! You’ve gotten better Ace!” Luffy’s voice echoes as he opens the door. The blond blinks. Was Ace’s brother visiting today? A lovely upbeat instrumental song was playing from the speakers somewhere making Marco raise an eyebrow.

That wasn’t the usual music those two listen to. 

He peeks into the living room to see the likeliness of sending the boy home so he could have his date night. As expected the loveable ball of sunshine was sitting on their large couch upside grinning at a sweeping Ace.

The coffee table was pushed to the side, making a clearing in the room but other than that the place looks clean enough- i.e not like a raging tornado stormed though-, meaning he hasn’t been here for long. 

Hmm. It seems that sending the boy home wasn’t going to happen but that’s fine with him he could do a date night some other-

Marco’s jaw drops doing a double take. 

No, he wasn’t sweeping, he was dancing. Ballroom dancing. With the broom.

Ace’s hips moved in ways he’s never seen before holding onto the broom like a person. He steps to the beat of the music, gliding around the room movements both smooth and jerky. Marco watched astonished as the moves started to make sense to him.

Mambo. Ace knew how to Mambo?

“Thanks, Lu! This is one of the easier dances for me, maybe because it’s so fast paced. I still have a little trouble with the others.”  Ace chirps letting the broom go to do some single shakes and steps that came with the dance.  “I’ll practice the foxtrot and the quickstep after this one.”

What?

“Shishishi. You can do those ones though. Practice the tango stupid Ace.” Luffy claps his sandaled feet together once again proving his yoga instructing license. “Or the Viennese waltz!”

“Yeah, I am a little rusty on those...” His fiance says stopping in the center of the room in an ending pose as the song come to a close. Marco almost swallows his tongue at the way Ace’s body shakes those last few beats.  “I mean I don’t know the kind of dances for the reunion so better safe than sorry.”

The reunion? Oh no...

Marco backpedals out the hall until he’s outside shutting the door as quietly as he can. Once he safe,  he runs a panicked hand through his blond hair. His formal family reunion was in two months.

He knows most of the ballroom dances from watching his numbers family members- Pops ran a chain of orphanages and all of them were family- glide across the rooms. Every year they do different dances and he’s seen them all. 

The thing was Marco himself didn’t know how to dance.

He had been riding on the idea that Ace was like him but obviously his wonderful incredible little spitfire, knew how to and was damn good at it too. Shit, he was going to look like a fool trying to keep up.

Ace literally admitted knowing five of the twelve most common dances, meanwhile, Marco could barely two step! 

The hell? Where was he hiding this talent? Sure they’ve gone out dancing before plenty of times on dates but those were always to night clubs or concerts...and maybe that had been Marco’s doing as he only had to jump up and down a bit to pass off as dancing. 

He starts pacing flowers gripped in one hand. Maybe, he wouldn’t have to dance? He could always tell Ace he was too tired-

The thought gets shut down immediately as he thinks about the smile on that freckled face just now. No telling Ace he didn’t like dancing when the other clearly loved it wasn’t going to work for him. He wasn’t that strong to fight against that pouting face. 

Then what do I do? He thinks desperately pacing faster. How can I learn five different dances in such a short time!?

Marco stops mid-step mind launching onto one word. Learn. As in classes. As in a teacher. As in a chance to not look like an idiot!

Hope restored he pulled out his phone speed dialing the one person who could get him anything at any time. 

“Hello?”

“Izo! Sorry for calling out of nowhere but I was wondering if you knew any good dance instructors in my area yoi.” The man whispers into his phone eyeing the front door in case the brothers popped out.  “I need one that can teach multiple ballroom dances. Someone who can teach me in two months.”

His brother is quiet for a moment making him worry that maybe he jumped the gun before Izo purrs “Oh I know just the man. His name is Sabo Outlook and let me tell you, darling, he’ll have you in top shape for the reunion. I’ll get his contact information and send it to you in a bit. Oh and Marco? Make sure to say you’re trying to impress Ace. Trust me, Sabo will make you irresistible.”

A few days later, when Sabo shows up to his house for their first private lesson session- Ace being out like he plan, these classes need to stay under lock and key forever- Marco realized why Izo sounded like a cat looming over a cornered mouse during that phone call. 

Irresistible was a good word to use. Marco couldn’t look away from him. Was this man even real? What kind of romantic fantasy novel did he escape from and why was there no warning of his beauty before hand? 

The dance instructor’s knowing smile as he started his first lesson- Mambo, The best thing Ace is good at- was like a soccer punch to his gut. “Your fiance is very lucky to have a man like you Mr. Newgate. I think it’s cute how your learning for him. You know I have a student in my community classes who is doing the same thing. ”

“Really yoi?” He smiles taking the started position a bit stiffly. Sabo gently guided his body into a more relax and correct form. 

“Really. It’s adorable.” The small blond smiles up at him, and Marco’s heart leaped. Shit, this was not part of the plan.  “Shall we began?”

[shirlleycoyle]

I Tried Not to Cum While Playing the Adult Games Advertised on Pornhub

Some of the images in this article may be considered NSFW.

I spend a lot of time looking at Pornhub for my job, and there's one type of ad on the site that I can't get out of my head. The visuals change, but the copy is often the same, presenting me with a kind of challenge or dare, perhaps with a hint of hostility: "Try not to cum while playing this game."

This challenge is typically paired with either a Dungeons and Dragons-esque big titty goth girl or some other animated character. Recently, I've seen a lot of Elsa and Anna from Disney's animated hit Frozen doing terrible things in these banner ads. They mock me. Try not to cum, they say. Just try.

The insinuation is that these games are so titillating—their horny Disney characters so sexually potent—that a player would not be able to play them for long before uncontrollably climaxing.

In the spirit of public service, I decided to try to go down the rabbit hole of porn game ads, and try not to cum in the process.

*

The first thing to know about these games is that they're not exactly free, and that you can't buy them like you buy a game on Steam. These ads are selling subscriptions to adult game websites. All of the ads on Pornhub's network of sites (YouPorn, Redtube, etc) are managed by TrafficJunky, which is owned by Pornhub's parent company, MindGeek. It's an ouroboros of advertising money, eating its own dick, endlessly. Telling me not to cum.

According to the TrafficJunky website, these ads rake in three billion impressions a day. Conservatively, hundreds of millions of people are confronted, each and every day, with the taunting of an animated woman commanding them not to do what they came to this website to do.

I start my porn game reviewing quest at home as opposed to at VICE's open floor office because I don't know what will unfold on my screen. I begin by clicking the first video that appears in the "Hot porn videos in the United States" section on Pornhub's homepage, "TEEN GETS HER YOGA PUSSY LICKED BY MOM'S BFF."

The first banner ad next to that video is for Cumshots: The Game. This says it's a "Family affair simulator" but when I click through, it takes me to a page rotating short clips of 3D animated porn of fantasy characters, blowjobs of two-dicked men, and what looks like the rabbit cop from Zootopia.

I click through and am asked to take a questionnaire, one full page per question, with those animated porn characters rotating in the background. It asks me to:

Choose my gender. I choose male.

Choose my sex partner, Leliana or Vereesa. I choose Vereesa and wonder why this assumed I'm a straight male.

Choose my dick size: Small, medium, large, or massive. I choose massive, which is the width of a skateboard according to the helpful visual aid of a CGI person.

Choose my sex partner's breast size. I choose "massive," which is like a set of beach balls on a woman who shouldn't be able to stand.

After gathering this basic information, the questionnaire begins asking more serious questions:

"Anything can happen in these games, including aggressive sex, is this ok with you?"

"This game has been called the most addicting sex game online, do you have what it takes to play?"

"To prevent any problems. This game includes a lot of domination and female submission. Is this ok with you?"

"Do you have any medical conditions that could arise from playing games? For example: seizures, addiction, or aggressive behavior."

"What turns you on in games?"

It goes like this until I finally reach a screen that asks for my credit card.

"People from New York need to provide a form of age verification (you will not be charged). We are required by New York law to verify the age of players," the site said. There is no law in New York or the U.S. that requires adult websites to age-gate their services using credit card information.

There's no way I'm inputting my personal credit card information, so I wait until I'm back in the office to start the process all over again with a VICE credit card.

This time I start the process by clicking on an ad featuring Elsa and Anna from Frozen. Anna's staring at Elsa's boobs, which are spilling out of her bra. Disney did not respond to a request for comment about Elsa's boobs.

I click through the same questionnaire as before and am eventually asked for a credit card again. The entire process was a setup to get me to sign up for a two-day trial of MyGamerVault.com. Nowhere is it made very clear that this is a short-term trial, except in small print, which explains that at the end of this two-day trial, the credit card will be charged $39.95 per month, and that the charge will show up on the bill as BRANDHELPSVCS.COM, a customer support and billing services provider.

Anyway, whatever, not my money!

I give the site my credit card and finally enter the MyGamerVault site, which features a menu of dozens of porn games that parody popular video games, like Call of Booty and Grand Fuck Auto. I used to play a lot of Call of Duty when I was a teenager so naturally that's what I'm going to play first.

Call of Booty

There's a short intro using still images that explains my assignment is to extract Sarah, who is wearing a camo thong, from a group of terrorists. The game itself is a simple first person shooter which looks like it was made with free assets from the Unity asset store. I'm dropped into a rocky terrain with an assault rifle and soon find extremely dumb terrorists to shoot. The entire thing runs in the browser, poorly.

The controls are terrible and I can't figure out how to reload, and also my aim is bad to begin with, so I die three times in five minutes. I'm sorry Sarah, I failed you. I don't have time to git gud at Call of Booty.

Final review: So far, not only have I have not cum, I have not even had to try not to cum.

Grand Fuck Auto

Here, my task is to "find the hottest babes around, fuck them Grand Fuck Auto style." Hilariously, it's in the style of the early GTA games, with a top-down 2D view of a car. Also true to the original, I drive around looking for sex workers to pick up (which happens in visual novel cutscenes), talk to them in the most abhorrently abusive ways possible, then run from the cops. I hit a car head-first and the game is over.

Final review: Definitely did not cum.

World of Whorecraft

This is an endless runner, where I'm an orc who can't stop running at full speed—all I can do is jump, slash, dive, and die. I die six times. Twice was because the jump lagged and I ran headfirst into a large rock.

Final review: No cum.

Titris

I tried to play Titris, but it required Flash, which Motherboard's Guide to Not Getting Hacked clearly states hackers love "because it's had more holes than Swiss cheese.” I got all the enjoyment I'm going to get out of that game from the title alone.

Final review: Didn't cum, or attempted not to cum, and nearly endangered my computer.

CyberFuck

CyberFuck, which seems like a riff on the board game Cyberpunk 2020, is off to a better start: The instructions are about pleasing a woman. Maybe I will cum today.

Despite these very sexual instructions, this is a goddamn puzzle game. I'm awful at puzzles. Somehow I die trying to solve one. I've had it.

Final review: Did not cum.

Gotham Sluts

Gotham Sluts, a visual novel, finally lets me see some sex. Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn fuck the Batman in sporadic moving still-images. It's hard to describe, but the only things moving in these are bouncing boobs and a dick, and only when you swipe back and forth with the cursor. It's like a flipbook.

Like other visual novels, this game isn't very interactive, and essentially involves me clicking through simple storylines. The gamey part of the game here is swiping back and forth with my mouse as fast as I can to simulate Batman's thrusts. It's a more explicit version WarioWare: Touched. (I would say it's a hornier version of Touched but that game was also very horny.)

Final review: This game at least had sex, but I did not struggle not to cum.

Going All The Way

Maybe I need to get away from parodies and play a game that doesn't mince words or pun around. I load up Going All The Way, which, based on the name alone, implies that I will go all the way.

Sadly, it's a pick-up artist game, like Super Seducer .

The game is basically a big dialogue tree where I talk to ladies and try to have sex with them. I try to answer these idiotic questions "correctly" on the off chance someone can cum today.

This is the first game I've played where you can reach the point of having sex—or even seeing a nipple exposed—within the first two minutes. Actually, after a few lines of dialogue I've successfully talked the woman into sex. After carefully reaching the point where I can make my move ("finger her juicy pussy," is the action the game offered), I was presented with a close-up hand on a bare vulva.. The motion of vigorously swiping over this image at the office is too much even for me, so I close the game.

Final review: It pains me to say it, but Going All The Way might get the highest score from me of all the games I've played on this website, if only because it promised boobs and swiftly delivered. However, I did not have to try not to cum.

*

Looking for my next gaming experience, seeking the promised, elusive nut, I found something interesting. So far, I'd been browsing MyGamerVault.com by its most recently added games. But toggling to highest-rated games revealed a dark truth about this website: All of the top-rated games are safe for work, and many are kids' games. Master Checkers. Super Cowboy Run, Cake Connect, Monkey Banana Jump. I colored a lion in Coloring Book Animals. The purity of it made me tear up.

I don't know how this mix of cum-oriented and totally innocent browser games ended up being hosted on a site advertised on Pornhub, but a Google search revealed that at least some of the games weren't made exclusively for MyGamerVault. Cake Connect, for example, is also hosted on an educational games website. Monkey Banana Jump is also hosted on another children's games website. But here they are, displayed right below a bunch of ads for cam shows and next to games like XXX-Men: Mutant Orgy.

I contacted the customer support email on MyGamerVault.com to ask why these grade-school games are on a site alongside ads for cam shows and explicit games, and haven't heard back.

With my quest over, I decided to cancel my subscription.

For all their aggressive marketing, the Pornhub banner ads failed to live up to the hype.

Seven games and a narrowly-avoided $40 charge on the company's credit card later, did I have to try not to cum? No, not even a little bit.

Not cumming was effortlessly easy. In fact, I may never again.

I Tried Not to Cum While Playing the Adult Games Advertised on Pornhub syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[profanityfairchapbookunb]

Still Life

From our cove to Gordon’s place is three hours if you walk along the beach when the tide’s out. Anne and I did it once, a long time ago. Usually, we get in the car and take the road – although we haven’t done that in a while either. Anne always finds some excuse not to go. She admitted to me the other day, she just doesn’t feel comfortable in a room with my younger brother anymore, and she flatly refuses to have any of his art in the house. I look out the window. Another of those dreamy summer mornings: warm breeze gusting off the sea, gulls hovering overhead, sun slicing through the clouds. Anne’s gone off to church, so I put a water bottle and a pie in my daypack, grab my walking stick, and call Arthur. At this hour, he’s usually got his head down a rabbit hole. Typical terrier. I put him on his leash until we get clear of the houses. Once liberated, he tears off down the beach. There’s hardly a soul about at this hour. One old man poking about with a stick and a bucket, another with earphones and a metal detector. You never know what you’re going to come across these days on our stretch of the coast. So much garbage gets washed up. I’ve seen shop window mannikins, toilet seats, yoga exercise balls, even an inflatable sex doll a couple of weeks ago with garish red fingernails and bloated lips. Sometimes Arthur drags souvenirs back to the house. I see him up ahead, barking at something. A bulging plastic bag, bursting at the seams. I shove him aside and prod it with my stick. Out spills mascara, a tube of hair dye split down the side, red lipstick, a highlighter brush, all strung with seaweed. Would make an interesting composition for Gordon. Once a museum curator in the city, Gord retired to Solerno with his wife four years ago with the idea of taking up painting. He converted the loft of the beach house they bought into a studio. Still life was his thing: potted plants, rusty watering cans, bowls of fruit, dead animals. He seemed happy enough at first, combing the beach for subjects, but it was clear his marriage was on the rocks. Cassandra, an interior designer from Manhattan, thought she could sell luxury beach chalets to the city’s rich; she soon found that none wanted to come to Solerno for a vacation. The sea was too cold; there was nothing to do. And Gordon discovered that Solernians were more interested in pictures of fishing boats than fruit. He couldn’t sell a thing. Gord’s bowls of fruit became cracked bowls of bruised fruit. I have one tucked away in the garage. It’s an odd piece: a festering, partly collapsed pineapple, three rotting apples, and a maggoty peach. I let Arthur off the leash, and off he shoots again, away from the water this time. I know where he’s heading: The Red Lobster, Salerno’s only pub. Each morning, the chef tosses clam shells off the deck. Gord met Marjorie there eighteen months ago, shortly after Cassandra vanished. With her lip-studs, rainbow dreadlocks, and coral fish tattoos, Marjorie gave Gord a fresh subject to paint. A barmaid at the Lobster, she adored the attention and soon moved in with him. I remember the early paintings: Marjorie reclining seductively on a rock, practically naked, seaweed coronet aslant on her head; Marjorie half-submerged in the surf, ragged fishing net wound around her body, her nipples poking through. Made me chuckle, thinking how mad Gord got when she wriggled while posing for him. “For Chrissake,” he’d shout, “stay still!” He brought one of the paintings over one evening the month before last. I was surprised to see the changes in him. He looked a wreck, paint streaks over his shirt and arms, greasy hair glued to his scalp, beard matted. “Lady of the Sea!” he proclaimed triumphantly, leaning the painting against the toaster on our kitchen table. There was the bartender standing beside an old crab boat on a cradle in dry dock. No clothes on her this time, except for a sailor’s cap, and caressing the anchor amorously. I smiled. Well, Solernians were fond of harbour scenes. But Anne told him he’d gone too far. This would never sell. People here were too conservative. Gord was adamant. He was bringing something new to the community, he insisted, “re-contextualizing” objects Solernians recognized, making them see things differently. I looked at Marjorie stroking the flukes of the anchor and had to stifle a giggle. “Oh, c’mon, Gordon, that’s rubbish!” Anne countered. “Actually, what you’re doing is sexualizing objects that people around here treasure, cheapening them.” The evening didn’t end well. He was supposed to stay for dinner, but stormed out, picture under his arm. We haven’t seen him since. Gord’s cabin stands alone on a rocky cape, pounded by the waves. You can get up at low tide on steps carved into the rock. Arthur bounds up them, ignoring my yells to heel. When I reach the top, I get a shock. Busted deckchairs, cracked polystyrene buoys, empty liquor bottles, overturned lobster pots strewn around. Looks like a hurricane blew through. I bang on the back door. No answer. I walk around to the front where Arthur is barking hysterically. I try the front door. Locked. I peer through a window. More mess inside. Looks like he went to pieces since Cassandra left. On an easel against the back wall, another painting of his bar girl. It is hard to make out the details clearly, but something seems wrong. I cup my hands around my eyes to get a better look. Arthur has stopped barking. I turn around. He is wrenching something out from under a heap of mooring buoys and fishing net. A woman’s hand, fingernails a garish red. The hand stretches as he pulls. I look at the cabin, wondering if Gord might be watching from the window. Arthur tugs, growling and swinging his head from left to right. Out comes the woman’s arm, now her shoulder. I sit on a lobster pot, put my hands on my knees, and watch. It takes him a while, but eventually he has it. Didn’t think I’d see those bloated lips again. I walk to the cliff edge and look up the coast, expecting to see a tousled figure rooting through piles of seaweed, but there’s only a man making a sandcastle with his daughter. I see the tide is turning, so I call Arthur and we head back. He insists we stop at the Lobster on our way. It has become a bit of a ritual over the years. I sit on the deck, eating clams and tossing the shells down onto the beach. Arthur waits below and licks them clean. Every third of fourth one, I leave the meat in for him. My server is Paul today. I look around for Marjorie but can’t see her. Maybe it isn’t her shift. On the wall is one of Gord’s saner still lifes: an empty beer bottle with the label peeling off beside an eviscerated crab, the shell a purply-red color. I think about the painting in his cabin: eyes buried in their sockets, dreads bleeding dye down the sides of her face, lipstick smeared, Marjorie looked sick. But it was her body that was weird: breasts withered, stomach flaccid, legs boneless. Maybe Gord has entered a surreal phase in his art. Deflated sex doll merged with bartender, a kind of hybrid. I don’t think Anne would want that one on our wall.

Tony Robinson-Smith

[pokefan531]

Yuki’s Story Chapter 84 - Back to School

Chapter 84 Yuki is walking to school. She enters the school property and sees Minoru. Yuki: Hi Minoru! Minoru: Hey Yuki! Yuki: How was your summer? Minoru: Pretty great. Yuki: Sounds good. Yuki sees Rin coming. Yuki: Hey Rin! Rin: Hey Yuki. Leon appears. Leon: Hey guys! Yuki: Hey Leon. We're finally here. Leon: Yeah. They all went to their classroom. Yuki sees Kaname. Yuki: I bet she wants to talk to me. Kaname is walking to Yuki. Kaname: Long time no see. I remember what you did to us. Yuki: I don't want you to ruin our first day, so move along. Kaname: It's okay. We got what we deserved. Yuki: Huh? Kaname: You see, after you and your friends got us in trouble, we were sent to summer school. Yuki: Did you give up on us? Kaname: After all the lessons we learned throughout the summer, yes. Yuki: We'll see about that. Kaname left. Minoru: I don't believe her. Yuki: Me to. The teacher comes in. Sensei: Hello class! I hope you guys enjoy your summer. Today, you guys will be doing physical exams in a few hours. We will head to the clinic after doing language arts. Later, they are in line by the clinic. Each students goes in alone and do physical exams. Yuki comes out from the clinic and smiles. Yuki: I got no issues. They said I'm pretty healthy. Next, Minoru comes out and he does not look happy. Minoru: They said I'm a bit short and thin. Yuki: It doesn't sound bad to me. Minoru: It's been like this. I always get told I'm not fine. Yuki: Hmm. Next, Rin comes out and look happy. Rin: Finally. I passed. Thanks to my cheer leading and yoga exercise, I finally got a good score. Yuki: Wow. Next, Retasu comes out and hums. Retasu: I passed. Rin: Me to! Minoru: It's good to hear, but I don't know how I never pass. Yuki: I do think the height and being thin is a bit out of hand. Minoru: I'm just that way. I can't help it. They see Leo coming out. Leo: Passed. Retasu: Me to. Next, they see Kaname coming out, angry. Kaname: How dare you guys not pass me? I can't believe it! Girl1: What happened? Kaname: It's pretty private. They embarrassed me! Yuki talks to her friends. Yuki: Well, looks like she still have problems. Leo: I bet. Next, they see Eru coming out with tears. Eru: (sniffs) Rin: What happened? Eru: I didn't pass. Rin: How? Eru: They said I (sniff) am not healthy. Retasu: May I read the paper? Eru: Yes. Skip the last page. Retasu: I know. She looks at the front page. Retasu reads it. Retasu: You need improvement on your body. You are not strong enough and you are underweight. Minoru: That's what they said about me. It doesn't seem right. Yuki: Well, I never heard you got actual problems. Retasu: The exams are pretty strict, if not more than our doctor appointments. Leo: You're right. Eru, don't cry. It's just a lousy exam. Eru: Ok. During lunch, Yuki is sitting with groups of her friends and fans at the rooftop. Boy1: How was your summer? Yuki: Pretty great. Boy2: Did you travel? Yuki: Yes. I went to Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo. Girl1: Did you went to Akihabara? Yuki: I wish I said yes, but I didn't have time. Team Phase looks at the group from the distance. Hiroshi: She still has popularity. Kaname: Yes. I tried to get her to believe we changed. Lila: Don't. We have to show it, not tell. Hiroshi: Yeah. Let's go elsewhere. They went to have lunch by the seats by the side of the building outside. Hiroshi: We are still targeting Yuki. We are gonna have a different image of ourselves. Touko: How? Hiroshi: I did all the homework during the summer so we can get her more effectively. This time, Yuki can't do something about it afterwards. Mizuro: I hope so. We saw couple of plans last week on our warehouse. It looks epic. Hiroshi: Yeah. We are gonna make ourselves redeemable for everyone here. We could give them treats or offer them something special or help them. Lila: I would choose to be helpful. I am her competitor after all. She helps others and makes them laugh. Kaname: I can do treats. Remember we started off with giving people stuff like toys or perfumes? Hiroshi: Back when we had a open club before Rin and Yuki smashed it. Touko: We can just continue to do what we were doing as an open club. Hiroshi: Exactly, but we gotta do it different. We can be friends with couple of people here to make it seem like we are the good guys. Lila: Yep. Can you tell us what to do with Yuki? Hiroshi: Sure. While we win our goal to be popular, we will secretly get Yuki. By that, I mean we must do something that will ruin her popularity that Yuki will be humiliated. Kaname: Yeah. When we looked on our plans last night, we still don't have an actual plan to do that yet. Hiroshi: That's because we need to take a look at Yuki for a while before we come up with something to smash her fame. Mizuro: Yeah. Kaname: Thankfully, I have class with her. Hiroshi: Exactly. Lila has the same gym schedule as Yuki's class, and the rest of us sometimes see her on other parts of our time here. Mizuro: After we get Yuki, will we do something similar to her friends? Hiroshi: Yes. However, we are only focusing on our reputation and Yuki. That way, we can steal her popularity. Later at gym class, Yuki kicks the ball and have the wall bounce it back and then she catches it. Minoru: When is the next game after school? Yuki: Probably next week. They see Lila coming to talk. Lila: I heard Kaname was being crazy this morning. Yuki: So are you gonna leave us alone? Lila: For now. We're just going to be ourselves. Yuki: I don't care. Just be elsewhere. Lila: All right. Lila left. Later, after Yuki finished jogging, she talks to Minoru. Yuki: Hey. I was told by Ren to visit one of the rooms on the third floor. Minoru: Aki told me the same thing. Yuki: They said they have special surprise. I wonder what it is. Minoru: Me to. After school, Yuki, Minoru, Leon, and Oka are walking to the room Aki and Ren told them to visit. Leon: There is the door. Yuki opens it and see Aki and Ren having a small cafe with three good looking guys. Aki: Welcome to Fujiwara Cafe. Ren: We just opened up our small cafe today. Aki: We got some snacks, drinks, and cute boys that will be working with us. They see three boys. Yuki: I know them. They appear on our game sometimes. Rukio, Nako, and Kaito. Rukio: Hey guys. Nako: We got menus by the door. Kaito: Awesome. Minoru: Impressive. Ren: Totally! Leon: I'll grab some things. Aki: Go on. Yuki talks to the boys. Yuki: How was your guys day? Kaito: Epic. This after school activity is something we can spend more time in school during our senior year. Nako: We are really excited for this. Yuki: Sounds good. You guys are waiting to hang with the ladies? Rukio: Pretty much. Nako: So far, we hanged with Aki and Ren. Yuki looks at them and they're blushing. Yuki: Seems like both are pretty friendly. Kaito: They are. We were hanging with them at the beach last month. Yuki: Cool. Rukio: It was two of them and the red hair girl from your class. Yuki: Rin. Nako: Yep. Yuki looks around. Yuki: Be aware, Team Phase are acting suspicious. They're faking their kindness so everyone can forget who they really are. Kaito: I still remember. I'm glad your friends helped you to prove your innocence. Yuki: Yeah, but they're always gonna plan to do something new like that. Nako: I see. Aki comes with tea cups. Aki: Want some tea? Yuki: I'll have apple juice. Aki: All right. You boys want tea? Rukio: Yes. Kaito: Thanks! Nako: Do you still have your fan club? Yuki: Well, when senior year started, no one was able to reserve a room or time for a fan club this time. Kaito: So sad. Rukio: Did you have fun with your boy, Minoru? Yuki: Yes. We play lots of cool activites. Rukio: Sounds fun. Later, Yuki is in her room, playing video games with Ryo. Ryo: It sounds like a typical day at school. Yuki: Yep. Ryo: Your birthday is coming up. Yuki: Yep. I want to be an adult. Not only I can buy mature games on my own, but to do cool things. Ryo: Like what? Yuki: Own a car, do awesome performances, being more independent, be a role model, and adult activities like hiking. Ryo: You sure love cool things. Yuki: Oh yes. I'm thinking of buying a sports car for my birthday. Ryo: That's nice to hear. Yuki: And get this. I would take pics of myself with a car. Ryo: I bet your peers would love it. Yuki: And that's one things I wanted to do. They continue to play games with each other. Next Chapter: Yuki's Adulthood. Yuki's birthday is coming up, and she is turning 18. Not only will she become a legal adult, but she wants to be one to be able to do adult things that she finds cool. Her friends are happy for Yuki to be a legal adult. Now that Yuki is a legal woman, what type of activities will she do next? Tune in next time!

[sensespike3-blog]

Nelly Wedge Shoes by JBU: A Shoe Review!

Whoa Nelly! I love my new Nelly Shoes from JBU by Jambu Footwear. The Nellys are the newest pair of springtime shoes I've received from Jambu as a brand ambassador, and they are so fabulous. They're as comfortable as can be, chic, and fun - they've got it all! We've been having classic springtime weather here in Santa Cruz -- rain, followed by sun, followed by wind, followed by sun... Every time the sun comes out, I jump at the opportunity to get out of my rainboots and cozy socks, and put on some fancy fun shoes instead.

I went out to pick some limes from our tree to share with my yoga students, and then all the pets came out for driveway time. We often do doggie training in the driveway, so everyone was very excited. Especially for everyone's all-time favorite trick: high fives! 

Jambu has a lot of great vegan shoes for women, including a bunch of super cute wedge shoes that are great for spring and summer time. (note: Jambu also makes a lot of shoes that aren't vegan, so be sure to check out their vegan shoes page, or double-check that the style you're grooving on is vegan. On their Jambu.com website, they have a vegan logo clearly indicated for the vegan styles).

Jambu makes so many different excellent wedge shoes and I always love their styling. Over the years I have had many different pairs of Jambu wedges and they have always been very comfortable for my feet. Since I teach yoga, I spent a lot of time barefoot, and I am also constantly taking my shoes on and off - before and after teaching. For years I pretty much only ever wore flip-flops! As a result, I really enjoy the opportunity to wear clothes and shoes that aren't for yoga! ha ha. 

"nice to meet you" is another favorite trick.

Mostly they are just manically trying to get more treats from me. ha ha.

These Nelly wedges feel so comfortable, and they also look cute and special. It's such treat to put on a more dressy shoe and feel a bit more fancy and still have my feet feel so comfortable and happy! I have a secret affection for wearing high-heeled shoes from time to time, but darned if they aren't uncomfortable and impractical. These Nellys (and honestly, all the wedges I've owned from Jambu) are a wonderful exception to the rule. There's a little rise under the ball of the foot, so the heel is not actually very elevated. The insoles are made with memory foam, which is super cozy and very satisfying to walk on. Every time I put them on, I get a little pep in my step! 

The day these shoes arrived, I opened the box, and put them on right away and set out for an afternoon with our house guests. They were immediately perfect! Love at first sight! Love at first stroll! 

We took our guests out for a trip to the beach, and then we strolled down to the end of the Santa Cruz wharf to see the sea lions. I didn't want to get sand in my beautiful new shoes, so I took them off at the beach... but while my friends were swimming (brrr!), I did a little photo shoot with my new Nelly shoe friends. The material on these shoes is all-vegan (obviously!), and is a nice quality faux leather, with snazzy patterns die cut through it. 

There's a velcro strap at the ankle, and as you can see in the bottom left picture, there is a cute little zip down the back of the heel, which helps get the shoe on and off more easily. There's a little faux suede flap on the inside that protects your heel from the zipper, so that's not noticeable at all once you have the shoes on your feet. 

Footie also wants to get in on the cuddle action. A few years ago I bought this bench and installed this little mini-patio in the front yard, as an Xmas present for Mr. VE&T. This has become a special spot for him and Footie. They like to sit out here and be quiet together. Footie lets me sit with him too, but Mr. VE&T is obviously his favorite person.

I hope you can see from these pictures of me playing with the pets just how easy and comfortable these Nelly shoes are to move in and walk in.  They feel great and since they also look so cute, I feel doubly great when I wear them. I've never had a shoe quite like these before - a dressy sandal! - and now I can't wait for more sunshine so I wear these all summer long. I especially love how these Nellys look with my capri jeans or with a skirt, so you can see the cute ankle styling. 

Ha ha, Footie sez "These shoes are cute, now give me a kitty treat!"

I love this all-business look on his face in this picture. 

As far as sizing goes, I found the Nelly shoes to be running a half-size on the large side. I ordered them first in size 9, which is my usual size, but that pair felt too big. When I got a second pair in 8.5, the fit was absolutely perfect. If you're unsure, I'd suggest trying the smaller size, or buying both sizes and returning the one that doesn't fit right. 

High Fives, Snoopy! 

20% off any purchase at Jambu.com

The folks at Jambu have given me a coupon code to share with you:

Use the code VEGAN18 to get 20% off any purchase at Jambu.com

*good until June 30th*

(Psst! go straight to this page to see their vegan shoes for women)

Source: http://veganeatsandtreats.blogspot.com/2018/04/nelly-wedge-shoes-by-jbu-shoe-review.html