#Week 5 - Loss

[je-lurk]

I'd love it if you elaborated on how Agatha's hair reflects her state of mind! I'm obsessed with that kind of character analysis and I have a vague idea how I think they're connected but I'd love to hear your thoughts! If you want to of course. : )

Hi! It took me a hot second, but since I hadn’t finished yesterday I thought I could add ep 4. Here are my ideas, hairstyle by hairstyle.

The beginning of the reflection comes from the idea that loose hair in ancient Rome or Greece represented madness (can’t actually find sources on this so take the historical accuracy with a grain of salt) and, in a lesser extent, grief.

In episode 1, we see mostly Detective Agnes. Detective Agnes wears her hair in a low, untidy ponytail. This is the easiest way to gather one’s hair to free up the face. It’s not even done properly. Obviously this echoes how this Agnes is neglecting herself, mostly through self-destructive behaviors. Still, her hair is collected, as is her mind. The situation makes sense for her.

Until it doesn’t, and Agatha frees herself of the past iterations of Agnes. It might be worth to note that all of these have at least stylized hairstyles. This is, to me, Wanda’s influence: the Agneses (as well as every other character in Westview) were not allowed to lose their mind. Detective Agnes, bearing alone the full brunt of Wanda’s power, even less.

Once rid of all her layers, Agatha is naked (rebirth) and her hair is loose (madness).

"Madness" in this case as in disorientation. Agatha’s brain is barely catching up with what’s happened and needs answers. She’s constantly off balance, mostly emotionally.

She spends most of episode 2 with loose braids, done on the fly but still slightly researched. She’s scrambling for control: control of her appearance, control of others, control of her mind.

With Lilia she actively changes her appearance, gathering her braids in a somewhat tight bun, secured with a stick. She attempts to look both different and more pulled together than she really is. This, as we all know, did not work.

Then she ends the episode with a classic updo, with hair piled on her head and framed with two strands, obviously elaborate. The very little time she had she used to prepare herself, both physically and mentally. Every last hair is secured (except for the two strands, we’re aiming for class, mystique and confidence, not stuck-up-bitch-efficiency) and every thought is in place. The plan is made. And the strands can act as a curtain. She’s never really without those hair that can get in her face (except when under Wanda’s control because she doesn’t have the wherewithal to do anything, much less hide and scheme).

Episode 3 sees Agatha with the same updo, although it changes once they enter the first trial.

Her hair is — I struggle to find another word for it — schooled. It is still "loose", but the kind of loose that is held together by cans of hairspray, with studied waves. Girl is holding together with dreams and a prayer. She looks like she is holding together at least. There is still this idea of vulnerability. She’ll be more understanding, more in touch with the others. Less good at deception. More vulnerable, more protective, towards her son (whose loss is, if not still raw, rawer because of Wanda), towards Teen. The front bang, if we can call it like that, is always between the ear and the eye. Again, a curtain. Curtain that she completely pushes back during her hallucination.

It is interesting to me how the hallucination only happens as she is plucking a hair. With all the hairspray it’s staying mid-air. This, with the hair carelessly pushed back, is the more disheveled we’ve seen her in this episode (yet). This is also the most open, emotional and raw we see her in the episode. Even when Teen said he would drink the wine in her stead was she more reserved.

She ends the episode in the updo of the beginning, though 3/4 ruined by the water (lot of stress in the preceding sequence, plan barely holding on). And then Sharon dies. There is something to the ruination of the most elegant and researched updo she did by herself. It recalls again the themes of mental vulnerability, loss of footing, loss of confidence, etc.

There is a little time between the end of episode 3 and the beginning of episode 4. They all dried, and Agatha took her hair down (it’s less ridiculous like this. It’s a conscious choice of appearance, too, she could have easily put her hair up with literally anything). I think it’s because she has really registered Sharon’s death (I’m calling bluff, though. First, because I love her, and second, because she looks too dead for having been dead this short). Even if she doesn’t want to show it, she cares about her and about her death. If she didn’t, she would have no issue assuming the responsibility. It’s not the first time she’s killed. But she shifts the blame elsewhere.

Then there’s Rio, and Agatha is feeling too much at the same time.

Second trial, loose hair, secured with a headband. I love how, as soon as Rio is involved, Agatha always has a loose component to her hairstyle (not counting episode 1 because she was Agnes). In this trial, Agatha is (mostly, we don’t forget Exposition Boy in this house, but hey, that’s what the loose part is for) pulled together: she plots, takes swings, and leadership, and support Alice. They finish the trial so much quicker and with minimal loss.

They get out, where Agatha immediately gets back her loose hair "style" and her emotions. She doesn’t even care to look too attached to Teen. She cries. I believe we’ve only seen her cry once before, in the hallucination. She gets careless, opens herself too much, begins to believe again (in Teen, in Rio) and only gets back a punch in the jaw ("What really happened to your son?") and in the plexus ("That boy isn’t yours". Come on Rio, she knows she’s entertaining delusions, leave her alone).

Tl;dr: It all boils down to hairstyle = control

Loose hair could represent a loss of control over her mental and emotional states, over others, and over her environment.

Styled hair/hair done could show her confidence (and/or the confidence she wants people to think she has), mental acuity, and general capability to think, plan, and plot (whether for her own benefit or that of her coven). In other words, her ability to control the situation.

[doloneia]

been consumed with thoughts about teucer lately (as usual) but especially after reading a translation of this poem (Helen, by the Greek poet Giorgos Seferis) which is basically a twist on Teucer's perspective in Euripedes' Helen where he reflects on the Trojan War and his exile from Salamis.

the entire poem is incredibly moving and i recommend everyone read through it themselves but i just want to go through some of the highlights for me that made me put my head in my hands and start rocking back and forth:

these lines... OUGH.... the way teucer is on the margins of both greek and trojan identity, how he has spent his life raised on the periphery of heroes like herakles and peleus and nestor, born to an argonaut but never truly accepted into that world like his brother, how he watches similar heroes of his generation quarrel and bleed and die, and how he is left somewhere outside that paradigm after the war.

chewing on these lines a bunch but i love how teucer is depicted with this sort of skeptical and cynical perspective towards the war, especially because he lost so much as a result. also this characterization feels so accurate to me teucer always has self-loathing out the wazoo

his sympathy for paris.... seferis' adaptation/interpretation of teucer here is so fascinating to me because before teucer considers the human cost of the war his mind thinks of paris, and how he lost something he never had in the first place.

this section is amazing for many reasons - it builds up the human cost of the war and the resulting devastation among both greeks and trojans in a way that really underscores teucer's dual heritage, and the punch of "an empty tunic - all for a helen" really cements the gut-punching moment of how fruitless the conflict becomes in scenarios where helen is transported to egypt. how trojans and greeks fought and died for a conflict based in nothing - an empty tunic.

and the break in thought after teucer's mind turns to ajax? the sudden shift to contemplating human mortality? can you hear me sobbing on the floor?

anyways i recommend this poem to any big teucer fans out there please read it you won't regret it

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

ik i havent been here in like a month BUTTTT im happy to say im finally out of the 150s :D i just weighed myself (After a full day of eating!!!) and it was showing up around 147

[bixiaoshi]

im so tired of recipes being promoted as "perfect for dieting and weight loss" like i get where you're coming from but stop it!!!!!!!!!! stop categorizing every food as good for dieting and bad for dieting!!!!!!!!!!!

[catt-crossing]

trying to up my wardrobe a little and ordered two bodysuits, one tshirt and one long sleeve, and then two new dresses :3

[phagodyke]

omg.... my new nearest audiology department actually has an EMAIL TO CONTACT!!!!!!! we're so fucking back baby

[orcelito]

for songs that have to be listened to 5 months after a loss, rather than 5 days after a loss,

no wonder it didnt stick back then. this is a song for now.

[the-physicality]

ALSO:

[justletmereadmycomics]

giggling maniacally as I witness characters see trauma of other versions of themself who’ve had it worse in some ways and therefore mentally breaking down

[heyitzbud]

Going on a diet wish me luck i have literally never been able to sucessfully go on one without giving up, or getting very strict and lowkey succumbing to the ed-demons so 🤭🤭🙃

[makemycitybreak]

I should lose weight again

[batsinurbelfrey]

.

[bye-bye-bmi]

Homemade Ice Cream and Holding Strong on Wegovy

Week 1, day 5

I’ve been really enjoying my day today, making all sorts of ice cream with the new ice cream machine my husband gave me for my birthday. So far, I’m still not experiencing any side effects from Wegovy, but I’ve noticed the food noise starting to creep back in. Even so, I’m managing to resist—for now—even with a freezer full of homemade ice cream.

[orcelito]

Finally doing some emotional processing ✌