#What are the biggest health issues today?

[evanpetersmybf]

All he asked for was you

Tate Langdon x female!reader

Summary: Tate loves you too much. He would do anything for you, to keep you by his side, to make you love him forever. He would cross any line to make you his, it doesn't matter how evil it is... But was it really worth it?

Genre: ANGST!! and some smut

Word count: 5,104

Warnings: Obsessive, stalkish and violent behavior, implicit toxic relationship; mentions of weapons, murder, mental health issues, family issues, school shooting; use of Y/N, swearing, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected p in v. (i hope i'm not missing any...) NOT PROOFREAD !!

A/N: English isn't my first language!! Sorry if I have some mistakes and if Tate's a bit ooc (i tried to keep him in character as much as i could). I wasn't sure (and still not) if this is good but I spent days writing it, so I had to post it.

A small playlist with songs that inspired me for this: monster by meg and dia, pacify her by melanie martinez, all i want is you by rebzyyx, skyfall by adele, psycho by doko, paparazzi by lady gaga, dark red by steve lacy.

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Tate never believed in love, nor was he a romantic one. 

In fact, he despised it. How could he even believe in that feeling when he never felt loved by his own mother? At least that’s what he pretended.

The blond always had the facade of a tough guy, although he couldn’t fool anyone. Constance knew well he was a sensitive boy. Probably the most crybaby ever to exist… And the most unstable one.

Now he was here. His chest going up and down, breathing shallow and fast. His eyes were darting around the room, looking for something or perhaps someone. Some silly tears were rolling down his cheeks while he anxiously fidgeted with a ring on his finger. The clock on the wall continued its tick-tack. The time kept running. His heart kept beating. It was getting late.

He refused to look at the wooden floor. He didn’t want to accept reality. If Tate did that, he would feel like the biggest monster on Earth.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t stay like this.

He had to do something real fast.

Today, 18:40

You were supposed to arrive at 19:00.

But he remained there, next to the corpse of his rival. A bloody ax beside the dead man’s bleeding head.

Whom he thought was his worst enemy, was someone really dear to you.

Well, Tate fervently believed this was something justified. He couldn’t stand that fucking asshole anymore! That scumbag needed to be put back in his place. And Tate only did that. Furthermore, he actually helped him. He took him away from this shitty world. It was a favor.

He had already killed his mother’s boyfriend, so why was he feeling guilty?

Maybe because his victim was special to you. Because his death would hurt you. And Langdon swore to God he would never let anybody or anything hurt you, including himself.

He loved you.

He wanted to be the one to hold your hand forever.

Tate snapped back to the present and frowned. He picked up the weapon, putting it in his backpack. He didn’t even mind cleaning it. Then, he proceeded to knelt right next to the lifeless dude and cleaned the blood surrounding his body; afterwards, he dragged him to the basement and…

19:00

A knock on the door.

You arrived.

“DAMN IT!” 

He left his dead foe lying limp on the cold basement ground and quickly ran upstairs, straight to his room. He also left the backpack there.

Tate spent the last twenty minutes cleaning the mess he made in the living room after he atrociously smashed your friend’s head, forgetting that had poor time to get ready. 

He desperately looked for clean clothes, scrambling the entire closet in search of fresh garments while he cussed at himself, at his mother, at that freaking boy, at the entire world but you.

Finally he found some jeans and a striped shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror after changing and cleaned the tiny drops of blood that stayed on his face and hands. He never realized he left the bloody clothing on the bed.

Another knock.

19:07

Tate opened the door, immediately throwing himself at you and giving you one of the warmest hugs. His demeanor with you was completely different; you were the only creature capable of changing his fucked up mind into something more beautiful, more peaceful. The issue was that it only happened when he was with you, otherwise he would be aggressive and rude as usual.

You got the best of him. 

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, babe…” Voice muffled since his face was buried in the crook of your neck. Tate always did the same thing; clinging onto you like a small koala would.

“Heh, me too, hun!” You spoke with the same soothing voice he adored. Tate giggled and placed a tender kiss on your jawline, then another, and another, and another.

Soon enough, he was peppering kisses all over your neck, making you moan softly. Oh those sounds. He could hear you melting under his touch, his embrace, for the rest of eternity.

He loved making you squirm, making you laugh, making you feel loved.

He was way too sweet.

Only if you knew.

Four weeks before today…

Tate has always had the bad habit of stalking you. Yeah… He wasn’t proud of it. But can you blame him? He’s constantly afraid of you leaving him. He wanted to make sure you never did so… Otherwise he would die. Literally.

Don’t ask how he would die. You already know the answer.

You two were supposed to have a date, albeit you had to cancel your meeting.

And that, of course, made him overthink. It didn’t matter how many times you told him you were going to study; he felt betrayed, as if you were rejecting him. And Tate hated and feared rejection to the bone.

“Pretty please? Please, Y/N! I don’t wanna go home early, mom’s gonna be there and-and–”

“Tate, I can’t skip this. I have like, a test every day next week and I must study. I don’t wanna fail. Please, sweetie. I promise I’ll make it up to ya’, mhm?” 

He rolled his eyes and whined, almost throwing a tantrum. He didn’t try to manipulate you on purpose. It came out naturally. “But I need you, Y/N! Why do you always do the same, huh? Am I not that important? Don’t you love me any longer?”

His childish crying continued for a couple of minutes, until it stopped and the blond agreed a deal with you.

You thought he was calm now, but no. How naive.

You went to the library to study as you said… Without noticing he followed you.

Quietly, he got into that maze of books after you and hid behind some shelves.

Tate noticed you sat on an empty table. Thank God. Oh?

Who. Is. He.

A man Tate didn’t know sat next to you. Really close. Too close for Tate’s liking. He tried to think he was a stranger, that he wasn’t going to talk to you… He was wrong.

He clenched his hands into a ball when he saw that idiot talking to you, and the worst part was that you followed suit. It seemed you two were friends or something.

How DARE YOU talk to another man? No, how dare you talk to another HUMAN BEING!?

Tate was insecure 24/7.

If you weren’t there, Tate was falling apart. It was simple.

No Y/N, no happy Tate. Was it too hard to understand?

Three weeks before today…

It was Friday. Tate was impatiently waiting for you outside the campus, hanging a small bouquet of flowers he picked up.

Once he spotted you coming out from the building, he waved his hand and embraced you tightly once you were in front of him. He gave you the adorable present.

“Tate!”

“How did you do? Did you pass your tests? Don’t tell me, I’m sure you did.” Said, grinning from ear to ear. He was away from you for an entire week. How did he survive? He didn’t know, but he was glad to have you with him again. “Tell me about your life in the last days, baby. Please? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!”

There he was, the one and only drama queen Tate Langdon.

You talked about the tests, about how the teachers were being a pain in the ass (which clearly triggered in him the intense desire of hurting them because they stressed you), and… About a guy. The same guy from the library, with whom you spent the entire last week studying. He couldn’t stand it. He saw him as a threat to your relationship, especially since he was an old friend that you met many years ago. 

As the days went by, you gave him more reasons to hate that jerk. Why? Well of course because you spent hours at the library doing homework or studying with him. Or even hanging out with him and other people.

In reality, you went out with him to a museum just once, and then skating with other colleagues. Nothing compared to the time you spent with Tate; in a week, you would hang out with him almost daily, and if you were way too busy, he would go to your place and spend the night there. He was so attached to you to the point he had to see you at least once a day. And that’s why he was so jealous of your friend. Tate couldn’t stand the idea of you sharing your life with someone else who wasn’t him or your family… And he also got jealous of them, but he was handling it.

Two weeks before today.

After Tate’s pleas, you decided to introduce your friend to him.

Probably a big mistake.

The date was really awkward; your friend tried being nice, and Tate acted surprisingly kind. Of course it was odd; usually, he despised all of your friends and treated them badly, yet this time was different. You were stunned, however, you tried to ignore it and instead got happy as he finally accepted a random person as your buddy. 

Still and all, he hated that moron. It didn’t matter how much he tried liking your pal, he was jealous of him. He was getting on his nerves. He denied the fact that you had more love for other people that wasn’t him. Tate desired being your only one. Your number one. Your entire world. Because that’s what you were for him. And he was willing to do whatever to keep you with him.

Tate exchanged numbers with him and meticulously plotted a plan to ascertain he would never talk to you ever again. At first, it came out as a simple “I’m gonna scare the shit outta him”, nonetheless, it turned into a darker idea, very likely involving physical violence.

One week before today…

The last few days, Tate won Peter’s trust. Ah yes. That’s your friend's name. You were glad that he finally opened his warm heart and began to meet more people besides you.

You thought he needed a friend, an empathetic person who could support the blond when you weren’t available, that way he would feel less lonely and depressed.

They went to the cinema, to the arcade, even to a music store. Everything was going according to what he planned.

Eventually, he invited Peter to his place to play chess and other board games on a Sunday afternoon, before you arrived and had a date with Tate due to your anniversary. 

Today, 16:00

Peter and Tate were eating pizza and having a great noon, talking about their lives and random stuff, like school and music. They both enjoyed Nirvana, and since Peter played the guitar, he agreed on teaching your boy how to.

If it weren’t for Tate’s twisted mind, they would’ve been best friends.

The guitarist wasn’t a bad guy. He was a great buddy that really appreciated you and the crybaby, but Langdon had something else in mind.

18:00

The men watched a movie. Tate didn’t even know its name; in fact, he didn’t even pay attention to it. Instead, he was focused on his next actions, plotting them carefully.

“Crap, mom’s gonna arrive soon…” Tate mumbled with annoyance, biting his nails and tapping his foot on the floor. He was lying. You were going to arrive, not Constance.

“Damn, bro. Well, I don’t have a problem. I wanna meet her.”

“Huh? No no no, you shouldn’t. That bitch is crazy.”

Peter scoffed, disagreeing with Tate’s rude manner to call his own momma.

“Hey, you shouldn’t talk like that. I bet she loves you!”

That pissed him off. “You don’t know anything, Peter. Your family is different. Your life’s different. You won’t understand!” He yelled, standing up from the couch and now pacing around the room, trying to keep it calm.

“Dude, calm down!

“NO! I fucking won’t!”

The screaming continued for a while. Tate revealed his unstable and crystal self. Even something so insignificant could drive him to the edge, like what happened today. That definitely surprised the other one, who used to think that Tate was a sweet boy. “I dunno why Y/N is dating you.”

“What did you say?” Tate abruptly stopped pacing.

“Y/N. Y/N doesn’t deserve you.”

“WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!?” He pounced on Peter, gripping his neck with one rough hand, applying enough pressure on the sides to stop the blood circulation in his carotids and make him lose consciousness.

Before passing out, Peter, getting pale, managed to croak out: “Because she deserves better…”

Soon enough, he fainted, giving Tate minutes to think about what else to do. 

Your boyfriend wasn’t planning on murdering Peter today. No, he didn’t have time. He also was supposed to meet you.. But this was the perfect excuse! And not only that; he indirectly admitted he was in love with you! Or that’s what Tate interpreted with his delusional point of view.

Peter didn’t feel anything romantic for you, he was just worried Tate might be too unhinged to be your partner.

Thus, he went to his room and grabbed his backpack. Then, went to the garden shed and picked up the ax that belonged to his father, and a bottle of lye.

He had to get the job done quickly, nevertheless, he lost track of time.

18:30

Tate came back to the living room, just to notice that Peter wasn’t there anymore.

“FUCK IT!” Langdon got nervous. What if he escaped? What if he told you that Tate was crazy? He couldn’t allow this, not at all.

Thankfully, or maybe not, Tate found Peter crawling towards the front door, the poor dude still feeling dizzy after being choked.

Tate didn’t have any mercy.

“Where do you think you’re going, lil’ piece of shit!?”

18:38

Tate finally did it. He brutally murdered Peter, smashing his head several times with the ax.

He got rid of that little issue. He took him to somewhere clean.

Once he assured the other man wasn’t breathing, he dropped the weapon on the floor, making a loud metallic thud.

19:10

Tate was pinning you down on the couch, the same couch where your dead friend was sitting just an hour ago.

His hands were traveling all along your body, tracing sweet patterns on your skin.

Eventually, his fingers were clumsily pulling down your panties, not minding to take off your skirt. “Did you bring this for easy access, baby?” Tate chuckled and buried his face between your legs, holding your thighs in place; his lips plastered messy kisses over the warm flesh, biting it and leaving tiny marks after sucking.

Your reaction was alluring to him; he enjoyed listening to your pleas, to your whimpers. If it was for him, he would spend the entire day making you cum over and over again.

He finally got rid of your underwear, tossing it aside. Without further ado, the boy spread your folds with his large digits, and continued to lick your throbbing wet cunt.

“So fucking pretty… So wet for me, huh?”

His tongue lapped your small clit two or three times, then, traced a zigzag and circles on the sensitive nub. While he devoured you, he inserted his middle and ring finger, pumping them in and out of your cute hole, curling them and hitting the right spot to make you feel butterflies.

Tate could feel his arousal growing; his erection being restrained by the tight fabric of his jeans. He was desperate, yeah. But he always put you in the first place, and that included pleasuring you before him.

After a while, he replaced his fingers with his tongue, fucking your pussy with the agile muscle and now rubbing your clit with his thumb, applying pressure that sent electric waves through your body. He stopped using his tongue on you and instead looked at that stunning face of yours. He was delighted with your flushed cheeks, with every single gesture you did, with the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He wanted to take a picture of you to remember this moment forever.

His thumb increased the pace, while his free hand lifted up your blouse and tried to undo your bra. He couldn’t. You giggled when he groaned in frustration; he was too horny to think straight and that’s why you helped him to take off the garment.

Tate sighed and after that awkward and funny moment, he kept rubbing your bud, using your own juices and his saliva as a lubricant, intensifying the sensation. His left pinched and pulled your nipple, making you gasp and twitch beneath him, whilst his mouth abused your other one, greedily sucking on it.

“Tate, ‘m gonna cum! I-”

Tate cut you off by kissing you harshly; his tongue invading your warm mouth, exploring it and then nibbling your bottom lip until it bleeded. He licked the tiny drops of blood, savoring the metallic taste of it.

Unable to hold on any longer, you reached your orgasm, coming undone while Tate kept caressing your pussy, decreasing the velocity while you finally calmed down.

He left you panting; your heart beating so fast just like his.

You tried to sit up on the couch, breathing deep for more air, but the blond prevented you from going away.

“Where do you think you’re doing? We’re not done yet, you’re gonna cum again!”

Tate carried you bridal style and went upstairs straight to his bedroom. He threw you on the bed.

Without stopping looking at you, he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans along the boxers; his dick already erect and throbbing, the veins thick and the tip leaking precum.

Using the clear liquid as lube, he stroked his shaft for a while, jerking off to the sight of you. He groaned and whimpered, closing his eyes as his hand pumped himself.

One of your hands went to your breasts, massaging them softly as your right went down between your legs, slowly teasing your womanhood and coating your index finger with your arousal, using it to rub your aching bundle of nerves.

Tate’s dark room was now filled with both of your moans; Tate calling your name several times and you begging him to fuck you.

He couldn’t stand this anymore. He NEEDED to be inside you, to feel your warmth enveloping him. “On all fours. Now.” You immediately obeyed, feeling as eager as him.

“Look at me, mhm?” He positioned behind you and rubbed the tip against your wet folds, teasing you for a bit. Afterwards, he slowly entered his cock inside your slit, moving it slowly at first. His thumb went to your clitoris, toying with it just like minutes before. He picked up the pace and fucked you fast and hard; his cockhead brushing your cervix. Grabbing a fistful of your hair, Tate pulled your head towards him, still with the deep thrusting.  “Fuck, Y/N! You’re so pretty… So fucking precious, so fucking mine!” Moaned against your ear, voice raspy and agitated.

Panting, you stopped looking at him and instead looked to the bed. Why? Who knows, but you did it. And you saw Tate’s dirty clothes. Dirty with blood. A lot of blood.

You froze. Maybe it was red paint? 

“U-uh, Tate?” You muttered, feeling already bewildered by the sight. You tried not to jump into conclusions, although you knew Tate and he has always been… Secretive.. And aggressive, of course. 

After your boyfriend heard your shaky whisper, he stopped moving, even if he wanted to keep going. “Hm?”

“What’s this?” Tate sighed and pulled out from you, not understanding what you meant. 

“What’s what?”

Without saying anything else to him, you grabbed the shirt and touched the weird stain. It was still fresh. You took your fingers to your mouth to taste it; and the metallic tang was too obvious. “Tate, what the fuck is this!?”

You threw it at him. Freaked out, you stood up and picked up your clothes, putting them on again, all meanwhile Tate connected the dots and realized he was probably going to get caught.

“Wait, Y/N! It’s not what it looks like, I swear, damn it!” He yelled and grabbed your arm, not wanting you to leave like this. He had to save his reputation, he couldn’t let you think bad of him even if you had all the right. Because, why the fuck the fabric was soaked in blood?

“Then what is it, Tate? WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD!?”

“CALM DOWN, PLEASE!” 

You attempted to get away from his grip, struggling with him until, somehow, you managed to do so. However, you tripped with his dirty shoes and fell, realizing they were also stained with the red liquid. “Tate, what…? Why? What is this?”

“Nothing, I swear!” He didn’t have any excuses. Saying it was paint would’ve been lame. You were too smart and he knew lying wasn’t a good choice.

Feeling overwhelmed with the matter, you went downstairs, walking as fast as you could. Passing through the living room, a very familiar bag caught your eye. It was definitely Peter’s. You decided to grab it and realized it had his phone inside. Something was off.

Tate was standing behind you; fists clenched and heart beating like crazy. He tried to approach you, still thinking about what to do or what to say. 

“Tate… What is this doing here? Peter’s here?” 

“Huh? Yeah… He— He came earlier and had to go soon, he left this accidentally, yup…” You could see him fidgeting with that ring on his finger, again. 

“Bullshit!”

Tate scowled and grabbed your chin, making you look at his dark orbs. “Tell me, Y/N, do you trust me or not, huh? Look me in the eyes and say you don’t!”

The struggle continued for what seemed eternity. You trying to run away from the house and he trying to make you stay. “Please, Y/N, just listen to me!”

“You did something to him, right? I know him, Tate! He would NEVER leave his phone like this! Is this a joke?”

“Why do you care so much about that asshole!? What has he done for you!? Tell me!”

“Oh my, you’re jealous! I knew it! All that crap about being his friend was a lie, right? Tate, you’re being delusional! I can have friends, I can hang out with whoever I want, whether you like it or not!” 

Tate pressed your cheeks between his thumb and the rest of his fingers, squeezing the flesh with his veiny, big hand, pressing it tightly enough to leave the mark of his long digits on it.

“You can’t! You’re mine. Only mine. Since the day you were born you were meant to be mine. Not his, not anybody, just me.”

“Tate… We should end this…” You thought this was the best for both. Being in a relationship with him was draining; always being careful to not hurt him, make him jealous or mad. He was such a sensitive boy that always took everything too personally. He felt everything a little too much.

Since the beginning you knew he was unstable and that he had many issues, but you tried to see beyond his sick mind, you tried to understand him despite being so different.

Tate felt so safe with you. You were the only person who understood him, or at least made attempts to. 

He felt rejected by the entire society, even by his own mother, until he met you and he had a minimum spark of hope that the world didn’t suck that much.

That’s why he clung to you. That’s why you were his everything. He would lose his mind if you leave him.

He felt like dying when he heard you wanted to finish the relationship.

He couldn’t breathe. 

Some tears were now falling to the floor, his eyes puffy and an ugly frown on his face. His mouth twisted as he sobbed loudly, tugging the hem of your shirt while he begged you to stay. He was crying like a newborn, like a baby who had to be apart from his mother for a second.

“No no no no, you can’t do this to me!” He whimpered, his speech cracking as he tried to hold you close whilst you were stepping back. You were slipping through his fingers, you were leaving him.

“Tate, if something happened to Peter, I will never forgive you! Can’t you see you’re hurting me?”

Tate swore he would never hurt you, nor let anyone. But here he was, finally snapping out of it and seeing the cruel truth. 

“You’ve been hurting me the whole time, Tate! I tried to understand you, I really did, I tried to help you, to save you from yourself! But it’s impossible. I’m losing myself here with you, I don’t even know who I am anymore! You don’t want help, do you? ‘Cause it doesn’t matter what I do, you’re never satisfied! You suffocate me!”

All those words were like daggers penetrating his skin, touching his nerves and making him die of pain. You were tearing him apart, just the way he was destroying you.

He finally let go of you, feeling a tornado of emotions. Tate felt depressed, mad, resentful, like he was going crazy. Though, he knew he had to leave if that’s what you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to break another promise.

Thereby, he confessed his crimes to you. He explained he killed his mom’s partner a few days ago, and that now he had killed your friend. Why? He was jealous, he was scared you’d left him. You did it before you discovered the cruel reality, anyways. That’s why he told you. Because he couldn’t lose anything else.

The situation was utterly disgusting. Tate was sick. He murdered an innocent man and then proceeded to fuck you, as it was the maximum test of love, as if his life meant nothing.

You knew he wasn’t what people often considered “normal”. But this was definitely more than just being a “weirdo”. Tate needed psychiatric help… And being arrested, of course.

“You make me wanna puke, Tate! You’re the evil!”

Without hesitating, you left Tate behind, running as fast as you could from that living hell.

You just wanted to cry, curl up into a ball and wake up from this nightmare. You wished it was merely a bad dream.

Tomorrow morning, you’d go to the police, but for now you needed to sleep.

Monday morning, 11:05

You couldn’t sleep all night. You spent hours thinking about everything, about how this looked like a cruel joke to you. Eventually, you fell asleep at 4AM, and didn’t wake up at what seemed almost midday. 

An intense sound of police sirens woke you from your slumber. Startled by the loud noise, you rubbed your eyes and went to the window, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening outside.

Police cars and SWAT vans were going in a specific direction… Towards Tate’s street. It couldn’t be, right?

Did his mother find the corpse? Or perhaps something else?

You looked at the clock, realizing it was late and you had to go to class. 

08:00

After the most painful night of his life, Tate decided today everything would be over.

He had to cleanse the world… To take people to somewhere else, to some place full of peace away from the piss and the vomit that runs down the streets.

He was doing this not only because of your breakup, but also because of many other reasons. Your split up was the straw that broke the camel and drove him to the edge.

10:40

 After shooting the school, Tate left the place, looking unfazed about what he just did. He was unhinged. 

He peacefully got into his place, went to his room and stayed there for some minutes. 

The blond sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the gun right next to him and stared at nothing. His gaze was empty, but also there were some tears threatening to spill.

His mind was a whirlwind. Some part of him was satisfied, but the other was confused, wondering what was he thinking, what had he done?

What would you think of him now? Were you even there? Did he kill you too and he didn’t even notice?

In the end, he recognized he indeed was the evil you said. Damn it. You were right, again, as ever.

Tate wanted to hear your voice, to comfort him, to hear you saying everything was okay. That he’d be okay. He desired to hear “I love you” from you once more.

11:15

You went downstairs to find your family apparently mourning you.

They thought you were at school when the shooting happened. They believed you were gone, but here you were. 

Eventually, they explained to you what happened.

The first thing that popped into your mind was Tate’s wellbeing, still unaware that he was the culprit. You were afraid something terrible could’ve happened to him, you were regretting your last words to him, but you also had to get him prisoner.

Your heart dropped when they explained to you he was the shooter.

No, it couldn’t be possible. 

It was possible. After all, he had already killed two men.

Even if you despise what he did, some part of you still longed for him, still was in love with his once kind heart.

A terrifying feeling of dread filled your body, making you feel numb, as if none of this was real… 

11:25

After running to Tate’s house and seeing it surrounded by the cops and the SWAT team, everything stopped. Constance’s distressed cries and pleas were heard from outside, followed suit by the sound of bullets. It was over now.

Tate was certainly a troubled individual who dedicated his entire life to searching for something, to feel something, to feel loved.

All he asked for was love, to be loved, to love. All he wanted was you.

But at the same time, your love led him to an never-ending obsession that ultimately broke both of you.

He became your biggest regret.

All he feared, all his nightmares came true. Everything he was so afraid of was him and only himself. 

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Chloe Cole

Published: July 28, 2023

On Thursday, her 19th birthday, Chloe Cole testified to Congress with a “final warning” that medical treatments to change the gender of confused children is horrific. Cole, who was given surgery as a teenager to become male and soon regretted it, said what she needed most was therapy, not a scalpel. Here is what she told lawmakers:

My name is Chloe Cole and I am a de-transitioner.

Another way to put that would be: I used to believe that I was born in the wrong body and the adults in my life, whom I trusted, affirmed my belief, and this caused me lifelong, irreversible harm. 

I speak to you today as a victim of one of the biggest medical scandals in the history of the United States of America. 

I speak to you in the hope that you will have the courage to bring the scandal to an end, and ensure that other vulnerable teenagers, children and young adults don’t go through what I went through. 

Deceit & coercion 

At the age of 12, I began to experience what my medical team would later diagnose as gender dysphoria.

I was well into an early puberty, and I was very uncomfortable with the changes that were happening to my body. I was intimidated by male attention. 

And when I told my parents that I felt like a boy, in retrospect, all I meant was that I hated puberty, that I wanted this newfound sexual tension to go away.

I looked up to my brothers a little bit more than I did to my sisters. 

I came out as transgender in a letter I sent on the dining room table.

My parents were immediately concerned.

They felt like they needed to get outside help from medical professionals. 

But this proved to be a mistake.

It immediately set our entire family down a path of ideologically motivated deceit and coercion.

The general specialist I was taken to see told my parents that I needed to be put on puberty-blocking drugs right away. 

They asked my parents a simple question: Would you rather have a dead daughter or a living transgender son? 

The choice was enough for my parents to let their guard down, and in retrospect, I can’t blame them.

This is the moment that we all became victims of so-called gender-affirming care.

I was fast-tracked onto puberty blockers and then testosterone. 

The resulting menopausal-like hot flashes made focusing on school impossible.

I still get joint pains and weird pops in my back.

But they were far worse when I was on the blockers. 

Forever changed 

A month later, when I was 13, I had my first testosterone injection.

It has caused permanent changes in my body: My voice will forever be deeper, my jawline sharper, my nose longer, my bone structure permanently masculinized, my Adam’s apple more prominent, my fertility unknown. 

I look in the mirror sometimes, and I feel like a monster.

I had a double mastectomy at 15.

They tested my amputated breasts for cancer.

That was cancer-free, of course; I was perfectly healthy.

There is nothing wrong with my still-developing body, or my breasts other than that, as an insecure teenage girl, I felt awkward about it.

After my breasts were taken away from me, the tissue was incinerated — before I was able to legally drive. 

I had a huge part of my future womanhood taken from me.

I will never be able to breastfeed.

I struggle to look at myself in the mirror at times.

I still struggle to this day with sexual dysfunction.

And I have massive scars across my chest and the skin grafts that they used, that they took of my nipples, are weeping fluid today, and they’re grafted into a more masculine positioning, they said. 

After surgery, my grades in school plummeted.

Everything that I went through did nothing to address the underlying mental health issues that I had.

And my doctors with their theories on gender that all my problems would go away as soon as I was surgically transformed into something that vaguely resembled a boy — their theories were wrong.

The drugs and surgeries changed my body, but they did not and could not change the basic reality that I am, and forever will be, a female. 

Depths of despair 

When my specialists first told my parents they could have a dead daughter or a live transgender son, I wasn’t suicidal.

I was a happy child who struggled because she was different. 

However at 16, after my surgery, I did become suicidal.

I’m doing better now, but my parents almost got the dead daughter promised to them by my doctors.

My doctor had almost created the very nightmare they said they were trying to avoid. 

So what message do I want to bring to American teenagers and their families?

I didn’t need to be lied to.

I needed compassion.

I needed to be loved. 

I needed to be given therapy that helped me work through my issues, not affirmed my delusion that by transforming into a boy, it would solve all my problems. 

We need to stop telling 12-year-olds that they were born wrong, that they are right to reject their own bodies and feel uncomfortable with their own skin. 

We need to stop telling children that puberty is an option, that they can choose what kind of puberty they will go through, just like they can choose what clothes to wear or what music to listen to. 

Pseudoscience 

Puberty is a rite of passage to adulthood, not a disease to be mitigated.

Today, I should be at home with my family celebrating my 19th birthday.

Instead, I’m making a desperate plea to my elected representatives.

Learn the lessons from other medical scandals, like the opioid crisis. 

Recognize that doctors are human, too, and sometimes they are wrong. 

My childhood was ruined along with thousands of de-transitioners that I know through our networks.

This needs to stop. You alone can stop it. 

Enough children have already been victimized by this barbaric pseudoscience.

Please let me be your final warning. 

Thank you.

Might as well call her a murtad and kufr.

"The medical industry mutilated me, maybe don't mutilate other kids," shouldn't require bravery or renouncing an ideology.

Reminder: A minor under the age of 18 is too young to agree to a cellphone contract. 🤦‍♀️

[suguru-getos]

fractures // geto suguru x f!reader // chapter 5

masterlist // summary: the reader is depressed as fuck, going through it yall 😔 suguru finally decides to let her go because he could only take in so much without causing irreparable damage to his own mindset about monkeys. // warnings: angst, comfort (yeah geto sama became suguru for a moment), mentions of fucked up mental health.

hurts… hurts when you didn’t go to the invite suguru had for you, to walk with him in the gardens. its embarrassing whatever your condition is right now. forced to sit amongst everyone who loathes you & hates you for lunch. four days… four days are left now. last night had been bearable, you didn’t accept geto’s offer to join him in the gardens for a walk, and didn’t sleep out of the anxiety of him hurting you. hurts… his grip on your psyche hurts.

it seems detrimental to engage in a conversation amongst a group of people who clearly think they’re better than you. hate you just because you’re weak perhaps. before you realize, you’ve ended up gazing and glancing at the plate. tears flowing from your eyes and a weak sniffle escaping you.

mimiko & nanako glanced at the wounded deer they all have kept in their den. you. “she’s crying.” nanako pouts, you look so beautiful to her she wishes she could just be your friend honestly. though, she doesn’t have the guts to confront suguru about it. “sickening…” manami scoffs, looking at you. “stop crying and stop making the lunch unbearable, i can barely stand your monkey stench.”

monkey stench…

you wonder what that even means. suguru, is awfully quiet. he’s just observing you as you desperately try to wipe of your tears. “be grateful you’re given food at all. waste of space and fucking breaths.” manami snarls again, “or should i beat the shit out of you again just like when i did when you tried to slither out like a pest?”

so much hatred… these people held so much hatred it was eating you apart. scatching you, hollowing you to the very core. you don’t want to be hurt anymore. or maybe they better do a good job at it and hurt you enough so your heart stops.

“that’s fine,” suguru hums, “just focus on the lunch manami.” his words sound like an order. something no one can stand against. it was weird, how it somehow helped you feel the slightest of a shield against their sharp jaws.

you could barely finish the lunch, the food’s taste wasn’t the issue exactly. it was the environment. gently leaning the plate away with more than one-third of the food finished, you get up to leave. no one says anything to you. weird… these people feel weird.

another day passes, and suguru’s affect on you has lessened beyond imaginations. he just lets you be. you wonder why is there a change of heart like this. does he plan to kill you directly? why hasn’t he just hurt you like he usually does? neither have his lackeys. it’s eerie, how you sleep on the bed today, just like you did yesterday night & stare at a wall. the dark circles in your eyes have been daunting. you look like a sack of flesh forced to be alive. it’s unbearable. you wish it would stop. you wish your brain would stop it…

desperate- you gasp and get up and off the bed instantly. hands clutching at your scalp and tugging at your hair with a whimper as you scream cry. everything that’s happened to you so far reminds you of the hell you’re forced in. how geto suguru makes you feel, how you immediately wish this was just the biggest nightmare you’ve ever lived.

suguru… can’t sleep either. it’s weird. his mind is just not working how it should. that’s always been the problem with him. he’s always been someone who’s unfit to be a sorcerer. he cares so much. that’s why he couldn’t stand his comrades & his own friends dying because of filthy monkeys who create those very curses. then why is his heart being torn apart brutally at the sounds of you crying. why is he taking a walk right ‘outside’ your door. this makes no sense. why is he being partial to you? to check his resolve, he’s killed seven monkeys today. all those who should have been useful but weren’t. then there’s you, tearing him apart just with the sound of your sniffles. is it because you’re beautiful? no- that’s not it. it’s just because he doesn’t know where to place you in his self righteous scale of morals.

you need a breath of fresh air, and when you lurch forward to your bedroom door and open it, you’re left aghast when you see geto sama standing in front. you lean back a few steps. blinking rapidly to see him clearly with the foggy vision you hold due to your tears. “i- i- wasn’t - i wasn’t trying to run.” you babble, observing him. watching his feet, his face. “please believe me i wasn’t trying to run- i was just trying to have some fresh air.” you explained yourself, sobbing out at the bone chilling fear.

“please please please — “ you fall into your knees at his silence, face covered with both hands as you break down. “please don’t hurt m-“

suguru just looks at you, eyes softening, his own eyes glazed at your torment. his little monkey pet. “i believe you.” he hums, walking towards you and crouching. he doesn’t need to necessarily touch you. but he does anyway. holding the back of your head and forcing you to lean against his chest. soft pats on your head as you cry out. he is silent. saying anything seems insolent. he can’t really do anything but hope you quiet down with that. why is he even doing this… he doesn’t have time to think through it. it’s impossible.

no… you’re changing him. he can’t have you do that. you can’t change him. that’s impossible. he has a goal to meet. he has to erradicate all the monkeys in this world to make sure sorcerers can live freely. he can’t be sympathetic for a fucking monkey—

“i’ll let you go tomorrow.” he hums, and your eyes widened, what is he even saying? “your parents will give the money within three says, i can’t stand you crying out everyday like a bad omen in my own house.” he hums, watching your facial expressions change to one of pure shock. “you understand? now don’t make me change my decision by crying anymore.”

you desperately nodded, wiping your tears over and over and over like a traumatized child. it is heart breaking really… maybe when he’s without you, and away from you, he would get back the losing and faint sight of his goal.

the next morning, you wake up, groggy as ever. whatever happened last night seems like a fever dream. you don’t even have the energy to think it was reality. maybe geto was tired of you crying and screaming & wanted to shut you up temporarily. yeah, that’s what it seems like at the end of the day. you drag yourself to the bathroom, and take a shower. thoughts jumbled up in the brimming brain fog. you’re tired, your mind & body are unable to keep up with the rapid anxiety you have burning within you.

“good morning.” you blink when you hear geto’s voice while combing through your hair. “morning.” you respond, gazing at him through the mirror. “let’s go.” he raises a brow, watching you, scanning you. maybe you will smile…

maybe… he will see you smile for the first time ever. he’s spend a few hours yesterday night trying to imagine how pretty you would look when you’re smiling brightly. when your lips curl up… do you smile with your eyes? would they squint up? how would you look? he can’t wait but want to see you blossom like that. pathetic really.

“yeah.” there is no response apart from that. you’re dreading this. you don’t know if you would be able to survive when you’re out of here. the fear that’s been instilled inside you wouldn’t just go away like that. as heartbreaking as it is, your body has given up for now.

and that’s exactly what happens. everything passes in a haze. the echoes of multiple footsteps as you walk to the estate gate & sit in the car, eyes fixated at your nails and scratching them up throughout. you don’t register anything until you actually reach home. a faint beep sound is the only thing you hear and the faintest echoes of your parents crying and hugging you. your friends visiting you in the coming next few days and weeks. everything is nothing but a faint echo. you feel like you’re drifting apart, losing a sense of reality. you don’t remember how long it has been since you’ve been back. or if your parents gave suguru the money anyway, or if you are still dreaming about this whole thing and stuck in the geto estate. maybe you died when he carved the word “monkey” in your arm and these are the last bits of delusional memories your brain has in store for you before finally pulling you into slumber….

depressed, numb, and done for. you are done for.

[breelandwalker]

#30 What do you think is a scam in witchcraft? (Go off!)

Wow, y'all had your priorities in order, didn't you. 😆

There are SO many things in the witchcraft community that I think are scams. Here's a sampling, in no particular order.

The Law of Attraction / Assumption / Lucky Girl Syndrome / "Manifesting" (aka victim blaming, thought policing, and confirmation bias dressed up in buzzwords). The whole Burning Times / Unbroken Line narrative. (In fact, any narrative that paints the victims of witch trials as actual witches as we define the term today just pisses me off, it's so fucking disrespectful.) All the ancient aliens / star people / indigo children / pyramid conspiracy bullshit that gets passed around in pagan circles. The "need" for a bevy of expensive crystals and tools and clothing and accoutrements in order to be a "proper" witch.

The idea that you have to abandon belief in science in order to believe in magic. The essential oils racket (where it overlaps with magical practice). The way that some witchcraft and pagan spaces push homeopathy and naturopathy over modern medicine because Witchy Reasons.

People who offer familiar spirits or astral helpers for sale (especially the ones with the clickbait descriptions). People who market themselves as pagan self-help gurus who can "fix" your mental health or life issues through magic. People who offer ridiculously overpriced classes or courses to "uncover the secrets of the universe / discover your past lives / realize your psychic potential / whatever."

But tbh I think the biggest scam in witchcraft is the idea that there are people out there waiting to curse anyone and everyone that crosses their path, just for shits and giggles, and that they can ruin your life just by knowing the slightest thing about you or your practice. And on the heels of that, I think the idea that being a witch or practicing magic makes you more visible and appetizing to spirits / demons / evil forces and therefore you need SO much protection Or Else is equally scammy. It just rubs me the wrong way when anti-Catholic or anti-witchcraft scaremongering rhetoric gets incorporated into community beliefs.

witchcraft ask game

[mays-simping-for-leona]

things i think leona will do as love language (headcanons)

some cute little post for today since i don't think i will be free to write part two of leona as a father⏤͟͟͞͞★

characters:

leona kingscholar, fem!reader⏤͟͟͞͞★

information:

non, just cute leona⏤͟͟͞͞★

prompt:

how would leona express his love to you⏤͟͟͞͞★

leona is ready to tell a whole Hate speech for everyone on this planet without any issue, but his biggest challenge will be to say "i love you" out loud, it is like torture to him

leona is obviously unable to express his feelings through his words, instead he does a lot of actions that shows how much he cares and loves you, And if you pay close attention to all these details and actions of Leona, you will notice that he treats you differently from all the girls

Leona will be physically intimate. He will get closer to you than ever before, and in order for it to appear as a joke or not make you focus on his tail, which is swinging behind him right and left, he will start teasing you and say, “Oh, herbivore, look at your face, you look like a tomato..All this because I got a little closer to you?"

Leona will allow you to touch him. Leona considers touching very intimate and will not mind if you hold his ears or comb his tail. He will allow you to drag him by the hand or any kind of touching. He will not be bothered by you entering his personal space at all

He will allow you to touch his hair, comb it, and do strange hairstyles for him. He will be Upset at first and tell you that you are annoying, but you can be certain that he is enjoying every moment of this and is happy to see you happy while you are playing with his hair and styling it for him

Leona will ask you to skip classes and come to his room or to the botanical garden. He will try to drag you with him to his nap places so he can spend more time with you

Leona will share his food with you, you won't even ask him but he will just stare at you quietly and ask, "Hungry?"

He will ask you to play chess with him a lot. He will consider it an excuse to make you come so he can stare at you more and spend time with you, even though you are constantly losing against him. You will ask him why he plays with you even though you are always losing, but he will just come up with some excuse and act as if it's nothing

Leona, in general, will make up any excuse to make you meet him. He will say the strangest things possible to make you come to his room just to meet you. He will not admit, even under torture, that he wants to meet you to spend time with you

Leona will ask you a lot about your interests, and you will find him researching them a lot and studying them. You will be surprised at first, but Leona seems very interested in knowing what you like and what you dislike

Leona will noticeably become a very good listener. He will not ask you to shut up when you start gossiping about boring life matters, and he will listen carefully to everything you say for hours and hours without getting bored

Leona will become very cooperative with you. You will find him giving you a lot of good advice and seem interested when you complain to him about something. He will begin to guide you and help you solve your problems in all seriousness.

Leona will answer your messages quickly, while he ignores thousands of calls from everyone at the college. You will find him replying to you in the same second, only you

Leona will become less violent and rude to you. You will find that he will avoid saying rude things to you or hurting your feelings in any way. He will be noticeably more friendly

He won't praise you directly, he will make jokes to tease you as a form of praise

Leona will wrap his tail around your waist, legs or arms, almost Unconsciously, just like if his tail is moving on its own

Leona will ask you, out of everyone, to stop stressing yourself so much with your studies. He will scold you when you do not take care of your health and just continue to sabotage your health. He will take away your books, papers, or anything that causes you stress

Strangely, you will notice that there is a lot of money around your dormitory or in your room or your bag after you leave Leona’s room. When you say that you want this and that but you do not have the money, you will find the money in random places in the dormitory..Every time Leona sees you buying something new, you say you don't know where the money came from, he will have this smug on his face..

Leona will allow you to steal his clothes, and he will enjoy smelling his scent on you, and he will become physically closer to you so that he can smell you

Leona will be in a very good mood around you and will listen to your words more than others, to the point that if they want something from Leona, they just have to come and ask for it from you, and Leona will do it with just one pleading look from you

Leona will send ruggie to you to bring you lunch or invite you to have lunch with him and say "A herbivore like you will die of hunger if her lunch is delayed. You always complain that you do not get your favorite meal, so I sent ruggie to bring you food"

Leona will look annoyed when you tell him that you are not free tonight to spend time with him. He will be jealous when he sees you going out with your friends or praising one of the boys in front of him. Leona is ready to listen to everything you say until you start talking about how much someone else you like or find interesting

Leona will start talking and expressing a little about how upset he is with his life and he will complain to you, not all the time but he will be more open with you and give you his secrets or some of them. He will reveal softer and weaker sides of himself to you to know whether you will accept his reality or not

Leona will explain to you the lessons that you have difficulty understanding. In fact, he is very excellent at explaining and helps you improve your grades

Leona will not mind attending lessons with you, but he will not focus on the lesson, but rather he will stare at you all the time and contemplate you while you do not focus on him and do not notice his looks towards you

Leona will scold you when you do something dangerous. He will not shout at you or act rudely and call you stupid or foolish. On the contrary, he will talk indirectly about how much he is worried about you or that you have put yourself in danger, and perhaps he may shout by mistake and say clearly that you worried him (You will tease him for the next 3 months for saying this)

His facial expressions will change around you, he will appear less severe and happier

He will allow you to try things to him, such as your cosmetics and makeup or try on strange and stupid clothes that you bought on the Internet like onesies and whatever, he will complain but soon as he sees you happy and satisfied he will be quiet

The slightest touch from you will make him relax. He will just close his eyes when you caress his face or play with his hair. He will allow you to sleep with him and take a nap in the garden without any questions or objection

If you don't show up on time, Leona, he will go straight to you if you are late, even a little, and start complaining about how you made him wait

If I finish the math exam early today, the second part of Leona as a Father will be released, wait for me guys!!

⏤͟͟͞͞★thanks for reading!

[moonacrefarm]

anticipating love

summary: your parents marriage didn’t survive the test of time and neither did you first love. 

contains: childhood friends to lovers to strangers, second-chance romance, angst, hurt/comfort, slight miscommunication, fluff, 18+ series, mentions of stalking, mentions of cancer, no mention of y/n

authors note: woooohoooo! i didn't expect this chap to take so long. i ended up with a few health issues (all cleared now) which put a dent in my writing schedule as i rested up and got better. a little slow of a chap today but im excited as the foundation has been set for the next few chaps ◡̈

series masterlist

previous part | next part.

03. fated ones

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“No. Mom. You didn’t.”

“I did and you're going to set the table.”

“Why would you invite Bradley over?”

“Why?”

“Yes. Why?”

Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. You could tell her temper was on the rise, you’d been arguing about inviting Bradley over for all morning and she’d seemed to have had enough.

“I’m dying sweetheart. I’m not dying with regrets.” She hissed out the last part. “He’s coming over and you aren’t gonna say another word about it.”

“But—”

Her finger shot up, “If I hear one more word. One. I’m shipping you to base with your father. This has nothing to do with whatever you guys fell out over. I invited him over because I wanted to have dinner with the boy I so much as raised when Carole died. I do not care if you think I should be angry with him, I’m dying and I’m…” She pointed at herself, “Making amends. If you don’t want to be here, take a drive, sleep on base, and pull your teeth out. I’ve had you yammering in my ear all morning about canceling dinner. This is the one thing I’m asking you to do for me, and you’re throwing a fit. Zip it or ship it.”

Your lips pressed in a line thin. You **had been making this about you. The past few days have been difficult for you to process. The revelation that Bradley hadn’t just up and left you for no reason was heavy in your limbs. It didn’t align with what River had told you and with what you knew.

But, something was off.

It’s not that you didn’t believe what Bradley had told you. There were many ways to explain it all away but something kept gnawing you. River always talked about “divine timing.” What if it's all meant to be, “divine timing” will take care of it. Your guy's relationship had been built out of convenience. You both were young, in school together and looked good together. You both kind of… settled. He fit so well into your life that it had to be divine timing. How else could you explain it?

When your mother was diagnosed, River was good. He was so good to you and her, taking time off, driving her to appointments, and sure your mom was never his biggest fan but she respected him enough and his ability to make you comfortable. You can still pinpoint when he changed and became colder and distant. Every time he talked to you it was flitted with something aggressive.

Initially, you thought it had been neglect. You weren’t spending enough time with him, or maybe it was an effort. Either way, when the switch flipped it felt like whiplash. The night you called it off it was a blow-up fight. He threw vases, photos, plates, and whatever he could find. He kept murmuring about you not being in love with him and choosing your mother over him. Nothing could placate him and soon enough you tore the ring off your finger and hurled it at him, grabbed your keys, and ran to your car.

He tried to follow you but you lost him on the freeway and called your mother. It felt like all those years were a lie, he’d never lost his temper in that manner. Had never gotten aggressive or screamed at you. The whole argument unsettled you. It confirmed the gnawing feeling that ate away at you for years. Every once in a while his smile would become rigid, his grip on your wrist slightly tighter. Always small and light movements to command you to his well.

Once the phone call ended, you immediately went to pick her up, opting to stay at a hotel for a couple of days. He kept calling, texting, calling, and spamming through unknown numbers and accounts. All it did was confirm that… feeling that always sat at the back of your mind. The breakup wasn’t amicable in the slightest. You had police escort you to your shared apartment to pack your belongings and he, luckily, wasn’t there. Within hours, your life was packed up and you moved back in with your mother. However, you never shook the feeling that he was orbiting around you. Even if you never saw him, it followed you everywhere you went.

Silently, you grabbed plates and started to set the table.

“Thank you.” Your mother sighed. You mulled over anything and everything, still stuck on the photos. You and River didn’t even take engagement photos, just a small get-together with your mother and his family.

“Mom?” You called out gently, setting another placemat down.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“Did you ever think something was wrong with River?”

She stood still for a few seconds.

“Like that something was off with him?”

“To be honest hon, I thought he was boring…”

The confession startled you, causing a giggle to bubble out of you.

“I did! Towards the end, I thought something was wrong with him. There were a few moments when he would seem…off. I never thought he was so off that he would've lost it like that when you two ended it.”

You nodded

“He was boring.”

When the knock on the door arrived, your mother shot off her chair. Your father stayed stiff and you followed suit.

“Oh, you've grown so tall.” She held his face between her hands for a moment, “Handsome, just like your father.” Bradley smiled wide, embracing her again, “It’s good to see you too.”

Bradley took in her scent as he hugged her, feeling how much more frail she had been than the last time he saw her. The guilt gripped his heart.

“Now come on, I made some of Carole's lasagna and set the table.”

Toeing off his shoes he made his way into the home, still familiar with the path to the dining table.

“Sir.” His back straightened, Beau sighed, “At ease Bradshaw, you're in my home not on base, formalities don’t exist here”

“Damn straight they don’t.” Your mother's cheerful voice cut in, earning a small smile from your father.

“Bradley.” You nodded.

He gave a small smile, one so tense you thought he might pull a cheek.

“Dear, could you go get the drinks? I left them in the kitchen.” Pulling yourself up, you heard your mother’s bombardment of questions. She didn’t hold back asking Bradley about the last decade of his life, they did have a lot to catch up after all.

By the time you made it back to the table, your mother was asking the hard-hitting questions,

“So, are you dating anyone? Engaged perhaps?” Bradley choked slightly on his drink.

“Uh.. no ma’am. No engagement and no girlfriend.”

Your mom frowned, “I was hoping for some grandbabies and now I'm hearing I probably won’t have any at all!” Her arms went up in the air. Your dad and you eyed each other, knowing she was putting on a show. Snuffing your snickers you silently chewed. Unfortunately for Bradley, your mom wasn’t quite done.

“Honey, you’re gonna be a spinster by the time your good years are up! You're young and healthy! This is the time to make a couple babies.”

Bradley burned red and none of you could hold back your laughter.

“Okay Mom, give Bradley a breather, anymore baby talk and I think he’ll start babbling like one…It did take him a while to grow out of baby talk.” You snickered and he softly glared at you, “Bringing up my dark past I see.”

Your mother and father gave each other a soft smile.

Dinner wore on and your mother's efforts had paid off, everyone had relaxed and spread out to the living room for some photo album viewing.

She was entrenched in showing the photos of you and Bradley on a family trip to the Sequoias. Climbing trees and chasing each other with fake snakes.

“Carole thought you two were the cutest thing, wherever you went, Bradley was sure to follow. He was terrified of the fake snakes and you grabbed four in the gift shop and started chasing him.”

“Okay, you’re making it sound like I was a little menace.”

“I’d have to agree that you were. I never quite got over my fear of snakes…” Bradley smirked, earning him a small shove from you.

Your mother yawned, flipping through a couple more photos before another yawn followed.

“I think it’s time someone got to bed.” Beau had wrapped around the couch and put a blanket on your mother's shoulders.

“It is a little late, I should be heading back to base.”

“That you should, we have early morning training tomorrow.”

“Honey, can you walk Bradley out to his car? I suddenly feel exhausted.” You nodded, standing and motioning for Bradley to follow.

He got his shoes on and embraced your mother once more before leaving, “Now you come back and visit me, you hear me? I want to see your face as much as possible little Goose.” All he could do was nod, “I will. So much that you’ll be sick of me.” He smiled at her once more, watching as your father walked her up the stairs.

The breeze was welcomed as you stepped out. It had been getting warm inside, your cheeks slightly flush from all the laughing.

“Quite a trip down memory lane huh?” He asked, giving you a small side glance.

“I completely forgot how scared of fake snakes you were.”

“I wonder why…” You shoved him again.

You both approached his car, standing awkwardly for a few moments.

“I didn’t realize how…” He cleared his throat. “How sick she was?”

He nodded grimly.

“Yeah.”

You swallowed hard.

“She’s been fighting really hard.”

You both went quiet again.

You started at the paint on the Bronco, a small dent at the base of the driver's side, from where you and Bradley had been playing a game of baseball gone wrong. A little smile grew on your face.

“You should come by more often.” You looked at him, “I know we don’t… don’t get along like we used to. But we aren’t sure how chemo is gonna treat her this time…She really missed you.”

Bradley’s eyes stung. He’d seen his mother go through this, and seeing your mother today had brought painful memories to the surface again. He let out a shaky breath, “I will. I’ll come by as often as I can. With training, I’m not sure…I can work something out.” You nodded once more, “Drive safe Bradley.”

“Goodnight Bugs.”

You watched him drive off. Standing outside for a minute, letting the air cool you before your father came to the door, “You coming in?”

“Yeah. I just needed some air.”

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

a big german newspaper (die zeit) recently published a more critical article on the so called „verrichtungsboxen“ (literally: boxes of execution; boxes on the street where prostituted women and sex buyers can go to consummate the sexual acts; anyone who knows german will know this is a gross terminology, fitting for a gross concept).

while the fact these boxes exist is in itself a tragedy, the letters to the editor are giving me hope that there are sane people left in this country - even though from their names and writing style i would guess they are of the older generation, pension age.

heinz wohner: „if you dont get a visceral reaction of disgust and shame looking at these obfuscating boxes called ‚eco toilets‘ and the image of what is going on in them, you have to be extremely cold. calling what is being done to these women for little money ‚work like any other‘ is sugarcoating the issue.“

wolfgang wendling: „maybe there are women who voluntarily prostitute themselves, but the majority is doing it out of necessity and under pressure. calling the oldest trade in history a profession like any other is pure mockery. its not an honor to call our country europe‘s biggest brothel. but it‘s true. we should be ashamed that women are being exploited, humiliated and abused before our eyes. the more severe the poverty is in the country of origin, the cheaper you can have them. we should finally stop this, which is the only appropriate action for a civilised country.“

brigitte kosfeld: „the photo of these boxes alone speaks volumes on the inhumane practices hidden behind the liberalisation of prostitution. when the law was introduced, there were convinced social democratic women who were holding speeches on ‚prostitution as a profession‘. the intentions behind the law might have been honorable, but the reality has always been deeply anti-woman.“

professor claudia reuter, phd: „the liberalisation of prostitution in germany has failed in all regards. according to a french study, the average life expectancy of a prostitute is 33 years. babbling about self-determination in this case is inhumane. the state is not supporting prostitutes’ workers rights and their health, but their economic and sexual exploitation. its about time for the swedish model: protection for women and consistent punishment for sex buyers and pimps.“

joachim kasten: „social democrat august bebel already wrote in 1879 (…) that ‚honorable family men‘ were contributing to uphold the system prostitution with their money. according to him, they were generously let off their responsibility to disappear in anonymity. apparently today we are still where we were at the end of the 19th century.“

sabine moehler: „the description [in the article] of typical injuries prostitutes have reminded me very much of those women in physically abusive relationships show as well. a man who abuses, humiliates and demeans a prostitute in any way will do the same to his partner, wife or lover as soon as he doesnt like her behavior. (…) even reading about this is upsetting me a lot.“

and of course the one sex buyer who just had to write to the editors, peter müller: „its one sided to use the misery in berlin street prostitution with sex on public toilets as a reason to debate the liberalisation of prostitution. there are many brothels were the ladies are treated with respect. of course working as a prostitute harbors certain risks - but there are women who freely choose this job, and in my experience, some of them are doing it with passion and love. the regular prices are not the dumping prices you mentioned (5-10 euros) [note: which is indeed normal in street prostitution] but actually 80-100 euros for half an hour - not to mention those dont include extras and humiliating sex practices. i met women who earn better in prostitution than some employees in germany.“

loose translation and highlights by me.

[covid-safer-hotties]

COVID-19’s summer surge shows no signs of slowing down - Published Aug 17, 2024

Asurge in COVID-19 infections has swept the country this summer, upending travel plans and bringing fevers, coughs and general malaise. It shows no immediate sign of slowing.

While most of the country and the federal government has put the pandemic in the rearview mirror, the virus is mutating and new variants emerging.

Even though the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) no longer tracks individual infection numbers, experts think it could be the biggest summer wave yet.

So far, the variants haven’t been proven to cause a more serious illness, and vaccines remain effective, but there’s no certainty about how the virus may yet change and what happens next.

The highest viral activity right now is in the West, according to wastewater data from the CDC, but a “high” or “very high” level of COVID-19 virus is being detected in wastewater in almost every state. And viral levels are much higher nationwide than they were this time last year and started increasing earlier in the summer.

Wastewater data is the most reliable method of tracking levels of viral activity because so few people test, but it can’t identify specific case numbers.

Part of the testing decline can be attributed to pandemic fatigue, but experts said it’s also an issue of access. Free at-home tests are increasingly hard to find. The government isn’t distributing them, and private insurance plans have not been required to cover them since the public health emergency ended in 2023.

COVID has spiked every summer since the start of the pandemic. Experts have said the surge is being driven by predictable trends like increased travel and extreme hot weather driving more people indoors, as well as by a trio of variants that account for nearly 70 percent of all infections. Vaccines and antivirals can blunt the worst of the virus, and hospital are no longer being overwhelmed like in the earliest days of the pandemic.

But there remains a sizeable number of people who are not up-to-date on vaccinations. There are concerns that diminished testing and low vaccination rates could make it easier for more dangerous variants to take hold.

“One of the things that’s distinctive about this summer is that the variants out there are extraordinarily contagious, so they’re spreading very, very widely, and lots of people are getting mild infections, many more than know it, because testing is way down,” said William Schaffner, a professor of preventive medicine and infectious diseases at Vanderbilt University.

That contagiousness means the virus is more likely to find the people most vulnerable — people over 65, people with certain preexisting conditions, or those who are immunocompromised.

In a July interview with the editor-in-chief of MedPage Today, the country’s former top infectious diseases doctor, Anthony Fauci, said people in high-risk categories need to take the virus seriously, even if the rest of the public does not.

“You don’t have to immobilize what you do and just cut yourself off from society,” Fauci said. “But regardless of what the current recommendations are, when you are in a crowded, closed space and you are an 85-year-old person with chronic lung disease or a 55-year-old person who’s morbidly obese with diabetes and hypertension, then you should be wearing a mask when you’re in closed indoor spaces.”

Schaffner said hospitalizations have been increasing in his region for at least the past five weeks, which surprised him.

“I thought probably they had peaked last week. Wrong. They went up again this week. So at least locally, we haven’t seen the peak yet. I would have expected this summer increase … to have plateaued and perhaps start to ease down. But we haven’t seen that yet,” he said.

Still, much of the country has moved on from the pandemic and is reacting to the surge with a collective shrug. COVID-19 is being treated like any other respiratory virus, including by the White House.

President Biden was infected in July. After isolating at home for several days and taking a course of the antiviral Paxlovid, he returned to campaign trial.

Biden is 81, meaning he’s considered high risk for severe infection. He received an updated coronavirus vaccine in September, but it’s not clear if he got a second one, which the CDC recommends for older Americans.

Updated vaccines that target the current variants are expected to be rolled out later this fall, and the CDC recommends everyone ages 6 months and older should receive one.

As of May, only 22.5 percent of adults in the United States reported having received the updated 2023-2024 vaccine that was released last fall and tailored to the XBB variant dominant at that time.

The immunity from older vaccines wanes over time, and while it doesn’t mean people are totally unprotected, Schaffner said, the most vulnerable should be cautious. Many people being infected now have significantly reduced immunity to the current mutated virus, but reduced immunity is better than no immunity.

People with healthy immune systems and who have previously been vaccinated or infected are still less likely to experience the more severe infections that result in hospitalization or death.

Almost “none of us are naive to COVID, but the people where the protection wanes the most are the most frail, the immunodeficient, the people with chronic underlying illnesses,” Schaffner said.

[galaxyedging]

Marcus Pike x perimenopausal wife reader.

Warnings: talk of periods and perimenopause.

Summary: Reader is having a bad time, her husband Marcus is an angel.

1.4k

Your Biggest Fan

The weather had been odd for this time of year. To have rainy days mixed with bright, summer-like days wasn't unusual but this year the rainy, dull days were in the majority. 

What was unusual was that the weather had only just started to warm up. Marcus found himself still clinging to his winter wardrobe far longer. He noticed your winter wardrobe was packed away faster than his. He had to admit he was sad to see the cosy knit sweaters that looked adorable on you go. The bright side was they were replaced with blouses that gave him a glimpse of your cleavage and strappy vests that he loved to peel down your shoulders, following them with a trail of kisses at the end of a hard day. 

Today is one of the summer-like days. Which is fortunate as Marcus's new boss has insisted everyone attend a barbecue at her place. He was just starting to run out of small talk with the new hires when he saw you crossing the rather large and pristine yard. His relief wavered when he saw the look on your face. The small smile you gave him was strained. There was obviously something bothering you as you weaved your way towards him. Even at a distance he could see the sadness in your eyes. After giving the colleague who was rambling on at him a few more moments of polite attention Marcus excused himself to make his way to you, only for you to be intercepted by one of your colleagues. They grabbed your attention so suddenly that Marcus has a second to enjoy the flash of thigh he got as your summer dress lifted with the force of you spinning to the source. With your back to him Marcus could spot the possible source of your low mood. It just hoped no one else could. Without breaking his stride, he slipped off his suit jacket and drapped it over his arm. The same arm came around your waist and he made polite excuses to your colleague to drag you away. Once the two of you were out of earshot Marcus began to wrap his jacket around your waist.

“Marcus?” You were slightly bemused by his actions. Funnily, your trust in him is so complete that you make no attempt to stop him.

“You got your period, Honey. I'll make some excuses, you go get in your car.” With a quick caress of your cheek, he's gone.

With what feels like your last bit of energy, you manage to make it all the way to your car without bursting into tears. Once you are safely behind the wheel the dam breaks. Tears flow over your heated cheeks. The cold feeling of your panties sticking to you becomes more apparent. A knock on the window brings you back from your misery.

“Are you okay to drive? I can leave my car here and drive if you want?” Marcus, your rock, knows you hate to be without your car. 

All you can do is nod pathetically as you climb in the passenger seat. Marcus lets you be silent all the way home. He knows there's nothing he can say right now to help. It's only when he comes around to open your door and you apologise for getting his jacket dirty that he breaks his silence. “Baby, it'll wash. Come on, let's get you comfortable.” 

A shower and a change of clothes later, Marcus welcomes you to the living room with open arms. “Hey, you. Better?”

“Much.” Most of the tension leaves you as you sink into the comfort of him. 

“Are you okay? I mean your periods are like clockwork and you haven't been sleeping well.” He holds you tighter as he speaks as if he can protect you from whatever is wrong.

Marcus knows that your periods had settled in your thirties, due to your previous attempts at getting pregnant. Attentive as always, he still keeps track even after you decided to stop trying. 

There they are, the tears again. “I think I might be perimenopausal.”

You knew as you approached forty this could happen but after the whole fertility thing and a couple of other health issues it felt like your body was constantly changing and out of your control. These new symptoms were just another thing you would have to deal with.

“Ssshh. It's alright. This is just another thing we will face together.” Marcus said with complete conviction in his voice. 

Day two of your period hit worse. While Marcus was out for a couple of hours, you made a nest on the sofa. Pillows and blankets comforted and supported each part of your now aching body. An assortment of snacks and drinks littered the coffee table. Even the sound of Marcus opening the door wasn't enough to rouse you. The sound of him giving instructions was. Burrowing out of your nest you make it to the hallway just in time to see a man and a woman carrying large boxes upstairs. You stand just out of sight as Marcus signs their clipboard and thanks them before having over a few notes as a tip. When the front door closes behind them, Marcus turns to look for you. He doesn't have to go far.

“Sorry, I guess I disturbed you. You go settle back down and watch a movie. I'll be done by the time it finishes.”

“Done with what?” Marcus kisses your wrinkled brow in answer before giving you a wink and heading upstairs.

By now, you know that if Marcus wants to surprise you, it's best to let him. 

True to his word, Marcus came to get you before the credits rolled. 

“Come on. I'm all done.” His two large hands wrap around yours to pull you up. Marcus bounds ahead of you like an excited puppy. As soon as you are safely upstairs, outside of your shared bedroom the same large hands cover your eyes. 

“No peeking!” He adds as you giggle. 

“Marcus! What is going on?” The stern tone is undercut by the persisting giggles.

Marcus skillfully steers you into position, keeping your eyes covered the entire time. “Okay. Now, open your eyes.”

When Marcus removes his hands you blink a few times to readjust before taking the sight in before you.

“What's all this?!” You try to take it all in. The huge new bed, the new bedding stacked on it, the fan set up on your side of the bed, the gift bags.

Marcus's excited face flashes with uncertainty for just a moment before he explains.

“You know I run hot so I bought a bigger bed so you can have some space from me. I bought us new bedding so we can each have our own comforter to keep us both at the temperature we want to be at. The fan is bladeless and supposed to be the quietest one on the market. That is a cooling pad, for underneath you. That bag is…” that's as far as Marcus gets before you can't take it anymore. His lips are stopped mid sentence by yours. 

“I love you.” Is all you can think to say after you kiss him. Somehow those words never feel enough for Marcus. 

“I love you, too.” Your precious husband tells you while cupping your face and pressing the tiniest kiss to the tip of your nose. “I can't imagine how rough it will be for you, going through another life change right now. I'm so sorry, but I'm here with you through all of it.”

Tears well in your eyes again. Even you don't know if they're of sadness or of joy. 

“Here.” Marcus picks up a gift bag. “I got you some portable fans for the office. There are so many cool ones. No pun intended. This one you can wear on your neck, this one you clip on your waist and it blows up under your shirt…” Marcus's excited fanboying over, well, fans faded out as your thoughts turned to how lucky you were. Yes, this whole thing sucks but it could be worse. You could be facing it all without the sweetest man in the world.

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Kingdoms and Empires Wiki Drop!

Sup guys, im releasing what i have done in the wiki today! In this post im only going to talk about the Wiki because I dont want to create an even more massive wall of text here than it already is. Please see the entire post on the forums thread!!! I solidified the lore (which means no more massive changes), set the foundations to the story (so i dont end up writing a shit ton and having to fucking rewrite everything anymore), and pretty much rewrote the canon lore until i reached a point where i literally cannot share it because itd be spoilers without the future rewrite (regarding the worldbuilding, all introduced characters and such are still the same, some just had minor tweeks, so nothing crazy like changing our old bodyguard Mary:

and turning her into our childhood friend lmao So the plan now is current wiki drop. A good amount of it will be hidden since alot of it is spoilers, so you get 39,174 thousand words of unlocked content out of about 50k words in the wiki. And that's without me transferring 90% of the Codex ingame to the wiki, so its ALL (okay like 85%) new words of content and lore! Dont worry, im dropping literally all extra work and focusing purely on playable updates now until i regain your guy's trust in me after being so radio silent.

I also know and recognize that this has gotta be annoying asf since what you guys really want is updates but after what happened with the Total War franchise (my beloved) and their lightning fast content pipeline and lack of upgrading their engine ended up destroying the health of the company and ruining fans trust in em, id rather invest on the long term than short term unlike them (meaning id rather have a set story, narrative line complete, and research resources so that i can use that to run wild in writing).

I made a history of the world as known to them, so much of it is subject to embellishment, lies, and "the victor writes history" trope.

Historia Mundis

If you'd rather just have the list of articles that can be found within the timeline though, here it is: The Great Disturbances, Wars of Unification, and the Longwei Empire

Reign of the Daishu Dynasty

Ecumenical Dominion and the Flight of the Belthean People.

Belthean Migrations

Reign of Emperor Garland

Reign of Emperor Daerin I

Reign of Emperor Valerion

Reign of Emperor Elric I

Reign of Emperor Cenric

Reign of Emperor Saldwin

Reign of Emperor Elric II

Reign of Emperor Daerin II

The Interactive Outdated Map Yeahhh almost as soon as i published the map for the patreons it became outdated lmaoooo Nareth is much bigger than originally imagined, Argent is surrounded by mountain and forest tribes (think Hispania’s Lusitanian Wars or the Germanic Tribes type of vibe). The empire (being Imperial Chinese and Persian Empire inspired) also is surrounded by the these tribes, and the Imperial Province of Lymark is now the “Protectorate of the Western Regions” which basically means theyre the watchdogs of Western Nareth. Its funny because theyre also across the St. Hytera River, which is much like the Danube River, and will inevitably face the same issues Rome did with Dacia when they had a presence that extended the natural borders.

Master List of Articles

The Evolution of Belthean Civilization

Veldora Duchy I may have gone too far here. I regret nothing and learning about agriculture and stuff was awesome.

Silverhill Duchy Mining is alot more complicated than I thought, though Engineering MC is gonna have equally alot to improve!

Imperial Ranks The ranks will have importance. I know that sounds weird, but I did not spend an afternoon writing this just for the lulz.

Emperor/Empress

Imperial Crown Heir

Imperial Prince and Princess

Imperial Duke/Duchess

Imperial Count/Countess

The Imperial Landed Knight

The Belthean Empire The biggest entry from the ingame Codex that I transferred over and polished. This should give you a hint of how ill do the other kingdoms in the future for their article.

Kin of Arava I experimented here and instead of making an actual article, made it a class lecture of a series of days focusing on the Kin with a racist professor lmao

Zera Arava So i had to do this in intervals as I was writing and plotting out his side stories. Honestly hope i did the homie justice, he's a fav of mine, though i think each of the ROs will be favs as I write more and more about them.

Sacred Dance I assure you the Sacred Dance isnt what you think it is.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Patreons, you guys already read the below list. However ive cleaned the articles up and polished them! The Genesis of the Belthean Empire: From Invasion to Unification

Voryn Resdayn I wanted to see how i could make a character entry. It looks awesome, but holy fuck do they take time to create lmaooo, ill make the rest of them in the future.

Kin of Arava

Eastern Kin The descendants of Kin and Beltheans who mixed, that are settled within the empire.

House Resdayn Wanted to see how I could do the houses, still unsure (okay i dont like it) of how it came out. Hence why I started with a minor house that one of the RO's belonged to.

The Astute Emperor and the Imperial Provincial Rule: A Revolutionary Shift in Governance

Master-Scholars of Jelaytha The Jelaythan organization of scholars that Master Feren is from.

Post-Unification Transformations in the Belthean Empire: Trade, Economy, Industry, and Immigration in the Wake of Conquest

Imperial Historians Obviously the imperial faction that wants to get their hands on tutoring you lmao.

Universitas Magistrorum et Scholarium The Jelaythan/Imperial organization at the forefront of the intellectual international community.

Tripartite Alliance Read what the empire is teaching their citizens about how they conquered the alliance.

The Satrap System and Imperial Provincial Rule

The Great Racist of the Academy: Imperial Historian Acillus Cinna

The Sword Saint

Master-Scholar Kaleb

The Gleaming Horizon: Silverhill's Maritime Supremacy The book of a writer who we'll meet ingame. Youll decide whether or not to bully him as a 12 year old lmao.

Baniel Worthton The author of above said book. He even wrote about himself. Yes, it's supposed to be an ick.

The Ulrich Cothon The second book of his that'll feature in the game.

So…I guess in basketball or futbol terms… rebuilding phase is over, and i got all the players i need for a championship run!

It was an almost year long rebuilding phase, true, but omg it was so needed.

Plus I also learned alot of fucking coding at the same time lmao. Basically a lot of tweaking around with Choicescript and knowing how to code some actions. Also there's CoG implementing a new checkpoint system so thank fuck for that because this game's gonna be huge and id hate to play it without a save system.

[redr0sewrites]

Hi!!! Hope you’re having a wonderful day! I was wondering if you could write some head cannons for the hashira (separate) x a reader who has health issues that cause difficulty breathing and the need to use a nebulizer (it’s a machine with a mask that you wear in inhale medication in case you didn’t know), and how they react to some of the side affects of it (tiredness, fatigue, mild full body shaking, hyperactivity) this is very much me projecting due to me not seeing much rep of these types of conditions. totally understand if you don’t feel comfortable doing it, I understand that these types of things can be scary or triggering for some but I figured I might as well ask. Again I hope your having a lovely day and thank you for reading <3

OFC!!! lmk if theres anything i need to adjust or info thats inaccurate, i dont have person experience with this form of condition and i attempted to write it as accurately as i can but if i need to adjust ANYTHING please inform me!! :D

🥀CW: some angst (with comfort), nebulizer, mentions of sickness, mentions of medication and medicine, shaking, exhaustion, etc

🥀Characters: All the Hashiras (minus Muichiro cuz i dont write for him) x sick!reader

Rengoku

When you first explained your condition to him, he was a little confused

Asked a lot of questions about your nebulizer, the type of medication you took, and overall just wanted to learn about it!

Rengoku is always asking if your okay, he is very blunt about it because he worries ab you a lot, however he doesnt show it since he wouldnt want to upset you

will ABSOLUTELY help you with anything you need, say for example your feeling especially tired or shaky, he will not leave your side! your happiness is always his top priority<3

Throughout the day, he does consistent check-ins to make sure you've eaten, drank water, and taken your medication. if you havent, rengoku will remind you that you probably should and will help you if necessary!

when your feeling tired, he pulls you into the biggest bear hug and lets you rest in his arms-

"Have you taken your medication today baby?" Rengoku's voice was softer than usual, making sure not to surprise you as he walked up behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing a kiss onto the top of your head as you nodded. "thats good! I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

Tengen

your absolutely getting the royalty treatment, your getting PAMPERED!

can and will pay for all of your medical expenses, whether it be medication, the cost of the nebulizer, and anything else you want- he is very insistent about it!

Tengen wants you to live your life to to the fullest and flashiest extent possible, regardless of your condition and does everything possible to make life fun for you!

He would be understanding of your limits tho, and I think he would really enjoy carrying you around simply because it lets him take care of you. he would never want you to overwork yourself or push yourself on his behalf, and will check in on you if your looking particularly tired!

he wants to marry you the first chance he gets!

You were cleaning off your nebulizer as your husband came up behind you. "Here, let me~" Tengen whispered in your ear, moving your hands away from the nebulizer to wash it instead. "Tengen, I can do it myself..." you muttered, and he grinned at you. "I know, but what kind of man would I be if I let someone as beautiful as you do all the hardwork, hm?" His words made your cheeks flush, and he placed the nebulizer down as he wrapped his arms around your waist, dipping you low and kissing you extravagantly. "I love you doll~"

Shinobu

She is sooo protective over you, but in the best way! Shinobu is always making sure that your staying healthy and taking your medication, and will check up on your breathing whenever necessary!

Shinobu shows her affection through actions rather than words, especially when it comes to you. She knows she can never fully relate to what your feeling, but does her best to show she cares

She definitely educated herself on your condition and read up on possible treatment and ways to ease symptoms. she would never do anything you weren't comfortable with, but is always offering new treatments that may help improve your life!

When your feeling like shit, she will practically force you to stay in bed and let her take care of u!

Shinobu hummed softly, gently taking the mask of your nebulizer off your face before leaning in to kiss you. "Dont overwork yourself.." she murmured softly, moving closer to wrap her arms around you and run her hands through your hair. "I love you so much, little butterfly.."

Obanai

When you first tell him about it, he honestly isnt that phased

He doesnt view you any differently than he did before, and he thinks your perfect with or without your condition.

Obanai is always keeping an eye on you, just to make sure you don't get hurt or overwork yourself. He'll softly ask you questions about how your feeling, and stares intently at you making sure your not in any form of pain, physically or mentally

he is great to talk to if your upset, and while he may not relate or understand, he will do his best to listen

whenever your tired, obanai will carry you on his back to where you want to go! if your shaky, he will hold things for you and he will ask if its okay for him to help you, he would never want to overstep or make you feel incapable

Kaburamaru likes you a lot as well, and enjoys resting with you when your tired and will watch over you when Obanai cant!

Your hands shook as you attempted to pour the water into the mug, frustration boiling in your gut at your inability to do this seemingly simple task. "Let me." Obanais smooth voice made you stop as he gently reached out, steadying your hands with his own. "Do you want help?" Obanai and Kaburamaru studied your face, and you nodded softly. In perfect synchronization, Obanai held the mug for you while you poured the water in and added the tea bag. Obanai admired you, hearts in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around your waist in a gentle hug.

Mitsuri

she is ENAMORED with you she finds your persistence and strength beautiful in every way!!

mitsuri def wanted to understand how you felt and what your condition was like, and would also ask a lot of questions

SHES SO CLINGYYYYY its honestly adorable bc shes always holding you or hugging you and asking you how you feel!

if your tired or worn out, she practically drags u into bed to cuddle you! shes soooo understanding of your strength and your limits and will praise you SO MUCH for your strength and tenacity

when it comes to a nebulizer, while she may be sort of confused she is very supportive and will remind you (if needed) to take your medication!

"HEYYYY Y/N!!!" Mitsuri called out to you, running into the room and throwing her arms around you as she pressed kisses all over your face. Your nose wrinkled automatically from the affection, and she giggled. You coughed and she tensed, pulling away with a concerned look on her face. "Are you okay??" Her wide eyes stared into yours, and you nodded. "I'm fine, just... tired." Mitsuri's face brightened, pink lips quirking into a small grin. "Thats okay!! Come on y/n, we can go cuddle together in bed!!!!"

Sanemi

Sanemi is surprisingly considerate about your condition, and will fiercely defend you if anyone even dared say anything about you or your condition

I think he would bluntly ask questions at first, honestly he would be a little tad bit ignorant but only when he first met you

he would originally think you were weak but once sanemi began to know about your condition and all the stress and pain you had to go through just to live, he honestly began to admire you

sanemi would train you, just so you knew how to defend yourself but also because he wants you to know he doesnt think your weak

when your tired, he will pull you onto his lap and run his fingers through your hair while holding you tight and close to him. he'll never mention it and will pout and pretend to complain, but in reality he loves you so much and hates seeing you in pain.

sanemi would be hella confused about your nebulizer at first ngl- he would ask a lot of questions about it and about any medication you took, and would make a mental note to remind you about it

overall does EVERYTHING he can to take care of you and is honestly so worried about you- he just loves you so much

"What the fuck are you doing???!!" Sanemi gasped out as you crawled into his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him and nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "I'm tired 'Nemi..." you mumbled, hands shaking slightly as you struggled to calm your breathing. Sanemi sighed, pretending to be exasperated but the speed of his flustered heart gave him away. He pulled away to press a kiss to your forehead before pulling you close again and wrapping himself around you. "Your lucky I love you..."

Gyomei

When you first tell him about your condition, he begins to cry a little

Gyomei finds it super endearing how tenacious and hardworking you are, doing your best to overcome your condition

hes an incredible listener, and whenever your feeling tired or upset hes always there to comfort you

when it comes to medicine and your nebulizer, he will want to learn how to help you in any way he can. definitely educates himself and i can see him asking you or shinobu any questions about conditions similar or the same as yours

while he can't physically see you, he knows how much your condition pains you and will pray for your comfort sometimes

gyomei is HUGE and really likes carrying you around when your tired!!! he'll gladly invite you into his arms whenever he senses your exhaustion, but is always very gentle with you in fear of hurting you because your so precious to him.

You took a steady breath with the help of your nebulizer, Gyomeis large hands gently rubbing your back as you inhaled your medication. "My sweet light..." he murmured softly, so softly you had to strain a bit to hear him. "I love you... i love you so much." You can't help but smile, and he smiles too, grateful he gets to bask in your warmth.

Giyuu

When you first explain it to him, don't expect a huge reaction

Giyuu pretends he doesn't care much, why should he?

Yet his heart seems to stop when you first explain your difficulty breathing and your need for a nebulizer

a wave of fear washes over him so much it's almost paralyzing, hes terrified of losing you

Giyuu would probably try to push you away but only at first, when he realized how upset it made you he began to open up to you more

hes always asking about your comfort, he lends you his clothes often to make sure your comfortable and will memorize when and how you take your medication

Giyuu learns all he can about your condition and your nebulizer, he wants you to know that you can rely on him

Giyuu is not great at expressing himself through words, however he cares about you very, very deeply.

You know he cares by the way his deep blue eyes study you whenever you cough, the way his hands steady you when you shake

He would gladly switch positions with you in a heartbeat if it meant you wouldn't have to feel the pain you struggle with

Every time you cough or wheeze he swears his heart skips a beat, and whenever your tired he always pulls you so close to him

Giyuu pulled you close to him, gently placing the nebulizer away so he didn't have to see it. Burying his head in your hair, embracing you as he tried to ignore the pain he felt at seeing you struggle to simply breath. He knew how exhausted you were, and he wanted nothing more than to take the pain away. "I love you so much, my dear... never leave me, please..."

this was honestly such an interesting ask to write, and i really enjoyed it! i apologize if any of them are OOC, i havent written for some of them before 😭😭😭 I HOPE YALL ENJOYED!!!!!! PLSSS SEND IN MORE REQS IM DYING FOR MORE DEMON SLAYER REQS!!!

(also take a guess who my bias is >:D)

[epiphainie]

what are some moments you’d like to see or you think we *should* get together between bucktommy in season 8? ‘should’ - not as in must get! but moments you think would be important to their growth and establishing them as a long term couple and would be very good for the story they’ve built so far

Hi anon,

Sorry for the very late reply, I had to think about this a bit because I love this question! This will get long, sorry in advance.

I think first things first, we need some drama lol. Seeing how a couple overcomes conflict for the first time is seeing how the relationship can/will prevail in the long term. It's also important as a story element, conflict is what makes characters make decisions and take actions, what enhances the emotional impact etc. After all, what is more satisfactory than the sense of resolution that feels earned?

I think the first type of conflict I would like to see them navigate through would be something interpersonal. I don't really want a bloated case of miscommunication because so far they have been presented to do very well in that aspect (Buck is for once not just going with the flow but proactively pursuing this relationship, they both apologize, they both hear each other, they both reassure the other etc.) but the reality is every new relationship will have a stumbling bit when it comes to communication.

I don't know what they'd specifically deal with (like Henren had trust issues and Madney ignored talking about mental health) but Buck - despite his progress - has very well-documented issues around his self-perception and the concept of love and we know it took Tommy a great deal of effort to become the guy he is today (who's in tune with Buck and seem to communicate very well), he also has his own demons. So the right triggering event can cause a moment of unexpressed emotions on both sides. (Our fic writers have been great coming up with ideas for this and I've seen many posts speculating, so if anyone has any specific scenarios in mind please put in the tags.) What I would really really love to see in a scenario like this is an explicit, on-screen reassurance of each other about the root of their issue. I want Buck to have a love interest who with clear words say what Buck needs to hear and I want Buck to reciprocate. Like I said, we've seen BuckTommy be mutually really good at this so far, so I would love to see how it looks when they deal with something bigger.

The second type of conflict I'd like to see them handle would be a conflict caused by an external threat. Maybe not something as dramatic (and hurtful) as Madney dealing with Doug but anything that puts them through the wringer a little bit. This and what I said above wouldn't need to be mutually exclusive events obviously (Gerrard, for example, can be an external threat AND a trigger for individual insecurities, interpersonal conflict etc.) but this I specifically want because I believe to convincingly set them up as a long term/significant relationship, they should show us them being a team, a united front. Where my first point was about seeing how they would navigate their individual traumas together, this is about seeing how they'd deal with the world that throws them a wrench.

Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, I think we need to see how they would act as a couple in a group setting. This obviously touches many of the points we've collectively made over the past few months about how there's so much potential re: Tommy interacting with the other 118 members. I think one of the biggest fails of Buck's previous relationships from a writing point was how little they existed within the rest of Buck's world. The first time I watched that scene of Buck, Taylor, Eddie, and Chris having dinner together I had to do a double take because so much of Buck's relationship with Taylor and Buck's relationship with everyone else felt like two different shows. It was cute when Buck said "You don't want to see a hangry Taylor" - it made them sound domestic, it made their relationship feel actually lived. This is such a little thing for BuckTommy to feel integrated and real imo. I don't mean they have to write BuckTommy as the center of attention in a group setting, what I mean is that they need to extend BuckTommy's existence as a couple to the broader context of the show.

Kind of building on this, another thing I think would serve very very well here is if we see Tommy interact with others when Buck is not there. If we want BuckTommy to exist beyond the context of their 1:1 scenes, we need Tommy as an individual to exist beyond that as well. Again, this is going back to how Tommy has the potential for these dynamics to feel organic in a way that didn't exist with prior LIs before. And I think one specific thing I would really like to get (and this is gonna sound ironic bc I said we need Tommy uncoupled from Buck just now) is Tommy talking about Buck to other people. As we need Tommy to exist in Buck's greater world, with his people in a way that his ex-girlfriends didn't, we also need Buck to exist in Tommy's world even when he's not there. The only comparison I can make here is Abby as she was the only previous LI who had her own relationships, but damn, did we ever see a love interest talk about why Buck matters to them, how he makes them feel etc. I wanna know how Tommy perceives Buck. This is like 101 if you wanna sell to the audience the love interest is actually interested too.

Couldn't find a place for this (maybe group-setting entry was more fitting love) but I also would really like to see them act casual. This is way more superficial than my other points but I was just watching some 911: LS scenes and I truly believe one of the reasons Tarlos is sold so well is because we get domestic, comfortable touches in every scene. Again, making a relationship feel actually lived. I don't think any of the 911 couples engage in this as much as Tarlos do but they certainly still do to a degree and I want and need that for BuckTommy.

Thanks for the ask anon!

[balkanradfem]

I experienced the biggest shift in my feminist consciousness when I stopped seeing women as the 'other' and start seeing us as 'we'. I realized it's not about how the world sees us or how my personality is different or whatever I couldn't relate to in other women; it's what's threatening and disadvantaging all of us. It's we, the women, who are fighting a common enemy and this threat surpasses any differences that we might have between us, it surpasses all my personal squabbles and disagreements, because this is bigger than that.

What happened to women historically are not distant and 'unfortunate' events that have nothing to do with me, they have everything to do with why my life is the way it is right now. M*n burned women, and because of this now we, the women, don't have reasonable or effective healthcare anymore. They didn't burn them in a craze or hysteria, they burned them for studying female illnesses and developing medicine, for keeping women healthy and sane, for benefiting us as a group. It's the reason why I suffer from menstrual pain today and the reason why there's not a ready cure, reason why me and others were not educated on our genitals or our sex-specific illnesses, it's why our health problems are not, and won't be taken seriously.

M*n also burned women for owning land, and during the history, did everything they possibly could to stop women from inheriting, owning and managing land. And it's the reason why I will not be considered to inherit my fathers land, why most of women will not gain land just by having family ties, while males absolutely will, they'll be the first choice to inherit both land and property. It's the reason I will have to fight for the most of my life to acquire a piece of land and not only it will be difficult, but most people will believe that I shouldn't own any. Because they've managed to create a standard where women historically rarely had land, and made this into our normal. They did it to give land to themselves.

The fact that women were barred from colleges and high education in the past is not unrelated to me and my situation today. It's the reason my female ancestors were subjected to poverty and servitude, with no way to free themselves – and by extension, the reason I am still in poverty today. If my female ancestors were from the start, well educated, owning both land and freely managing their health issues, I would inherit not only their knowledge, skills and property, but also the financial security that comes with it. My female ancestors would be able to invest in their children's future, to make sure their female descendants don't have to suffer and fight for food, or a piece of land to exist on. Instead, what they were forced to do was serve a m*n and hope that he would be kind to their children and maybe secure them some more financial safety than they had  - and he didn't. Because m*n save those things for their own class.

The fact that women were banned from their own last names and lineage cuts me off from my history and my heritage. I don't get to draw my female-centered family tree or know what my female ancestors lived through and how they got me here, and if they even did it purposely, or were forced into childbirth without ever having a choice. I don't get to be proud of their achievements, inherit their wisdom or read their life stories. Instead I had to hear about male war escapades and be disgusted that the male lineage was filled with violent offenders.

The fact that women were historically enslaved or trapped in various types of servitude, despite how it was being called, has huge impact on my life today. It's the reason why, from the very start of life, I've been taught that I would be better fit for a role of servitude. That my place is in the kitchen, keeping home, feeding others, cleaning and doing menial tasks that would never be rewarded or paid for. It's why even my reproductive rights have been represented to me as my 'duty to the humankind'. None of that would be happening if women throughout history weren't in a servant/slave class. But, this wasn't only ever true for women, was it?

M*n during history were enslaved too, and yet all m*n are not taught from birth that they would be much very well fitted for a servant role, and to act as a resource for others. They're not told that their only value is to keep house, serve in the kitchen and clean house for others. To sacrifice their reproductive rights for someone else's purposes. That's because our age of servitude never ended. They're still at it, teaching every woman what she is before she even knows there's possibly a choice of freedom. Where they can't enforce us legally, they do it by grooming, by tradition, by violence in our home. We have not been freed from servitude until no female child is ever told that she needs to be a resource, to pick up and clean and cook and please everyone around her. We are still being trapped into belief that we have no choice, that our servitude is normal, expected, and nothing to fight against because they made it a tradition. We still have our female children in servitude before they even understand that what is asked of them is a part of a historical oppression.

Whatever was done to women and girls throughout history affects every bit of my life right now, and what my life would be without it is almost unimaginable for a woman who never experienced living outside of an oppressed class. Our history is not only scarred but then cut away from us, we're being convinced that anything from the past is 'long forgotten' and 'no longer relevant since we can now vote', but it's only done to isolate us from the female class consciousness, to convince us that our life right now, is the best we could ever hope for, and there was never any way for it to be better, for us to have any more power than we do. While they give power to themselves.

We had the right to freedom, healthcare, knowledge, education, land and inheritance, for the entire history. All of it has been cut away and taken from all of us, resulting in us never being able to accumulate any security or safety for our own, not even enough to keep us out of life of poverty and servitude, not even enough to ensure that our children will be safe. And on top of that, we've been 'othered' and isolated from each other, so we cannot even work together on acknowledging what's been taken and how to reach safety. We're turned to self blame, and self loathing for our low status in the population, as if it's personally each of our faults that we couldn't overthrow the oppression or thrive in a hostile society.

Women are not the 'other'. M*n are. We the women are robbed of our property, inheritance, resources and right by m*n, systematically and consistently. It's affecting each and every one of our lives. It's why we can't care for our children, why we get turned away from our doctors, why each of us has to heal their own organs, why our mothers and grandmothers can only give us horror stories of survival and tell us we should make peace with a life of servitude, for they've never seen a woman survive any other way. It's why we had and still have to rely on m*n for housing and survival, even though there would be absolutely no need for this had they not robbed us of our half of the land. It's why developing class consciousness is necessary, we cannot recognize or fight this while we're othered from each other.

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Today is the 80th day of the war. It's been 80 days since Israelis all learned that we're not safe from Palestinian terrorists even in our own homes. It's been 80 days since most Jews worldwide have come under attack, of one type or another, following the biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust. It's been 80 days since over 100 Israeli hostages have slept in their own beds. It's been 80 days of having to explain that we didn't start or want this war. It's been 80 days of looking at our loved ones, and knowing that on Oct 7, it could have been them. It's been 80 days of knowing that we'll have to keep losing Israelis, and mourning our people, if we want to rid the world (Israelis and Palestinians alike) of the threat of Hamas.

And indeed, two more Israeli soldiers were killed yesterday, while no less than 14 fuenrals for young soldiers, most of them around 19 or 20 years old, were held all across the country. One of the funerals had to be held low key, with almost no attendance, because the kibbutz this young soldier, Gal Hershko, belongs to is in the north, and the community members are evacuated, due to Hezbollah rockets being fired at the area. It would be too risky for them to be at that cemetery. The eulogies for Gal were held at a gym, close to where the evacuated members of the community are staying.

Israel is letting into Gaza 80,000 vaccines for children, to help with the health situation there.

The Galilee Medical Center in Nahariya has experienced a serious issue with its computers system since yesterday, it's possibly another cyber attack, like the unsuccessful one on the Ziv Hospital (the one that's now known to have been carried out jointly by Hezbollah and Iran). The GMC has had to shut down its computers, and has initiated a special protocol that exists for such situations, saying no medical service has so far been stopped. Let's hope that this is resolved quickly, and doesn't end up costing any human life.

Ukrainian-born Israeli gymnast, Olympic gold medalist and world champion Artem Dolgopyat has decided to auction the world championship gold medal that he won on Oct 7, and donate the money to the Israelis from the communities which were massacred on that day. Winning this medal was his stated dream after taking gold at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. But when asked about this, he replied, ""What is the status of a world champion worth if my country hurts? The state of Israel comes first for me."

This is CCTV footage, showing a fragment of a rocket that hit an Israeli supermarket, after it was successfully intercepted by Iron Dome (for all the people who think Israel should just be okay with rockets being fired at it, because we have this defense system):

What I also find interesting is that this was shared by al-Arabiya, a Saudi news channel. One of the theories about the timing of Hamas' massacre, is that it was meant to provoke an Israeli reaction so fierce, that the Arab world would have to take a stand against Israel, and the possibility of peace talks between the Israelis and Saudis would come to an end. If that was the intention, al-Arabiya posting footage that explains to the Arab world, the Israeli POV, is an indication that maybe those peace talks still have a chance.

This is 30 years old Israel Chana.

On the morning of Oct 7, he was coming back from celebrating his 30th birthday with his family, friends, ad the girlfriend he told his mom he wanted to propose to. After the rocket attacks started, the terrorists got to his neighborhood. Israel worked as a security guard. He grabbed his pistol, 15 bullets, and went out to fight the terrorists. He saved his neighborhood, but was killed himself.

May his memory be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[askganon]

I'm really tired. I just transferred to a new university to study psychology and it has been the actual worst experience in every aspect. The two biggest issues are the fact that I am autistic and thusly have issues making friends, and that I have this god-awful professor in my counseling class.

This professor is OFF his rocker. He actively talks about the secret society he is in, trying to teach us preposterous things that have no place in that class or even the school at all. I could write a novel about every problematic thing he has said, but my most major issue with him is how he views and treats women, and continuously brings sexual topics up when they have no relevance to the course material.

He has disrespected his wife over the phone in the middle of class and then tried to justify his behavior using his gender, spoken extensively about what features men don't like on women such as makeup or plastic surgery. He says "natural" women are "healthy" (well-endowed) in either the chest or behind but not both, and are uneven in the chest. He specifically targeted my classmate, who was the only one wearing false eyelashes, to say that men don't like that either.

Another time he told us that women run the world because men are obsessed with us, that we are not oppressed at all, yet he turns around and tells us how women in the corporate world go commando under their skirts and sleep around to work up the corporate ladder. He says this in a way that puts women to shame for this as well.

This week, though, was completely different. His departure from the course material started with the extremely invasive question, "what do you remember about your transition to adolescence?" Again targeting that very same classmate. I blink and he is now telling us that the male experience during puberty is far worse than what women experience, basically saying that—excuse my bluntness—getting a boner in class is much worse than anything women go through, even turning to our singular male classmate for backup on this.

He also tries to tell us that its so so bad for boys because the girls actively try to touch them or make them "psychologically disturbed," as he worded so decoratively. What adolescent girl wants anything to do with that when she's going through her own problems? Since when were young girls going out of their way to trouble boys like this? I was actively trying to deter boys during this time.

I and the other two women in my class were disputing all of this, until our professor finally said, "I will just let that go over y'all heads cause you will never understand the male experience," to which I, shaking with rage, replied, "—and vice versa."

My mental health has been suffering severely, and much worse since this happened Monday. I had never felt such pure, primordial rage towards someone before. This man makes me feel not only objectified but also demonized. Last night was my breaking point, working on one of his assignments. I experienced the most intense mental breakdown of my life so far, and afterwards spent all but two hours of the night trying to cram the project that was due today.

I guess my point is that I would report him, but my school makes it nigh impossible to do so. I'm perpetually exhausted and I do not know if I can make it through the last two weeks of class. I want so badly to be petty and spiteful to his face, but for the most part I've controlled it.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by doing this. I guess I just want to know what you think? Apologies for the length of my message.

Such is the mentality I encountered often in my youth by Hylian men, and women, toward my sisters. They would lust after my sisters based on their attire and physique, while also attempting to demonize them and ostracize them for the exact same reasons.

In short, men are cowards who carry the darkest urges shamelessly, but are too prideful to admit the problem within themselves. Instead, the vilify women for their own indiscretions.

They will openly mock my Gerudo for their appearance, while desiring nothing more than to own their flesh in the most disturbing of ways.

This professor seems like a prime example of the Hylian males I encountered. But if this is the case, then so too is his weakness.

He has likely been thwarted in his past in his attempts to procure a mate to his liking, and due to his pride, he believes it is all of womanhood to blame, and not himself.

This one he singles out is likely similar to those he desired but could never obtain in his youth. As such, he blames all others for his own shortcomings.

Likely too with his mate. I would assume her physique does not fit the desires he now feels entitled to, and as such he makes her the target of his criticism.

But through all of this, he reveals a second weakness.

Fear.

He fears that which he cannot control, and women as a whole seem out of his grasp. Every slight, every jab, and every assault from his lips is but proof that he is afraid of what women are capable.

In the midst of a Gerudo warrior, this professor of yours would crumble like kindling to a flame.

Take solace in the knowledge that you are superior to this worm, for you are what he can never have.

[indigoraysoflight]

Hopes for TBOC’s marketing campaign

Let me start by saying that this is a marketing rant. I’m going to unfold glaring issues I’ve noticed with the marketing strategies being implemented so far. If it’s not your cup of tea, now is the time to scroll past this post. 

If you’re feeling more exhausted than usual in the fandom, you're having to defend Carol/Caryl online a LOT lately, or you’re finding yourself exercising the block/mute button a lot or finding the lack of Carol-focused promo quite disheartening – this may clarify a few things. I’m shedding some light on some marketing nuances that I‘ve noticed over the past few months that are snowballing into the landscape we see today. I'll try and do it in order so you can see the how some of these strategies connect with each other.  

Promotion without both leads

After the initial two weeks of promo during October, we didn't see a ton of Carol-focused promo. If you go back and look at promo content, news, articles, casting calls, teasers, etc., that followed, you’ll notice one person is largely missing from all of them. Melissa McBride’s name or Carol's pictures/ footage aren’t always found in articles/ news related to the show dubbed “The Book of Carol,” which is often just referred to as Daryl Dixon S2.  

Articles often say, "McBride is joining Daryl Dixon S2." Sometimes, she isn't even mentioned, which may not seem really big or just an error, but these little things compound into bigger issues, like fostering disrespect towards the female lead. We all know that it's their show together, so why not call it that? Why not feature her name in every instance? Why not speak about them equally?

94% of consumers are likely to be loyal to a brand that offers complete transparency.¹ Why let speculation and disrespect continue when they can be neutralized by taking a stand?

Toxicity-inducing posts/narratives

What I mentioned above inevitably starts rumours or opens pathways for people to disrespect Carol or, worse, makes fans feel like they need to be “grateful for the crumbs that they’re getting,” which not only lowers expectations but perpetuates this tactic that leans into the bare minimum and festers toxicity.

Most importantly, it encourages narratives and speculation that she's a "small part of Daryl's story" or that she may not be around for the long haul. It opens the forum to speculate about Carol's fate and I don't have to explain why it's frustrating to read narratives like that.

It's especially problematic because the show is supposed to eventually make way for "their story". This makes TBOC's core audience feel like they’re waiting for crumbs or encourages infighting in the fandom. It's causing strain on people's mental health, and so many are hanging on by a thread. This toxicity makes fans feel unsafe and uncomfortable in the space that is supposed to provide a safe haven. A space where they can share their love for their favourite characters/ship and build anticipation for their show. Which brings me to...

Positioning strategy

When TBOC promo strategy commenced, the fandom rejoiced because “to find home is to find each other” was established as the tagline and a positioning strategy which leaned into who Carol and Daryl are to each other. When I say "positioning strategy", I mean leaning into what makes the show unique. Now, sometimes, it can be incorporated more unethically when it pokes holes into the competitor's product/service/show, but In TBOC's case, they leaned into the biggest selling point of their show, which is Daryl and Carol's relationship, aka what Carylers have been asking for since S2 of the flagship show. Carylers are a great core audience to have because engagement online picks up quickly, with or without their help. 

There are two ways of looking at it – the first way is building on the hype until the promo circuit picks up, and the second way is not putting in a lot of effort because the fans are doing a lot of the legwork. Which one do you think is being implemented right now? They built hype for the first two weeks after Carol's cameo, but unfortunately, that wave crashed before they let fans do the amplifying for them. Which brings me to…

Placating instead of amplifying 

Carol’s pictures/ footage so far has been taken on set or promo stills from the flagship show used in tweets by the official accounts. We can all agree that seeing Melissa and Norman on set is lovely. But a lot of Carol solidarity posts drop because of some inflammatory comment/post/article that pissed Carol/Caryl fans off. Take this, for example: 

There are multiple instances of this. Many set pictures/ promo related content drops around the time there is discomfort amongst Caryl/Carol fans. When you're placating fans because they're pissed, you're trying to neutralize a negative feeling, so the anticipation doesn't build as sustainably and leaves people wanting more. Happiness helps people connect and share content quickly. Positive content spreads faster on social media than any other type of content.² Pictures used to placate fans don’t have the same effect if they amplified the hype for the sake of it. When you amplify a character or ship to build on the hype, it capitalizes on people's positive feelings like excitement and happiness and builds anticipation quicker. Like this:

Carol deserves more than being promoted only when the toxicity gets so bad that fans start to take mental health breaks or think of leaving altogether. Now we all know that the promo circuit hasn’t officially kicked off yet, so I am hoping that these things change when it begins. This is what I want to see:

Equal promotion – I’d love to see Daryl and Carol featured equally when they promote the Caryl show. Give us all the posters featuring both of them and map out their journey towards each other in the posters and their promo. Daryl and Carol should be featured on equal ground, with no doubt left about both of them being the leads of their show. 

Or, as my friend @kryptoniancape said in our podcast, “The posters need to be so in your face that you have no choice but to accept it, or you can’t deny it anymore.” Daryl and Carol have waited long enough for their story to continue. They deserve a compelling story, but most importantly, they deserve a robust marketing campaign that creates buzz for that story and respects both leads equally. 

Build hype. Build angst – Build hype for Carol’s return. Build the angst with Daryl’s return. Their ship has a robust fan engagement on socials which is a goldmine for any show. The marketing campaign practically writes itself here. 

The Carol-focused promo hopefully leans into her marketability as a timid housewife and a survivour to one of the most formidable women on the show. Carol travelling across continents against all odds for Daryl is a huge defining trait of her character. Daryl’s character is known for his love and loyalty to Carol and his family. His longing for her and his unwavering need to protect her are defining traits of his character.

S1 established that he wants to go home, but he feels “stuck” (why? I don’t know). The angst needs to be focused on Daryl’s need to get back home to Carol, the kids, and the rest of his family. Trying to lean into Daryl’s “indecisiveness” because of people he’s known for a short period of time, IMHO undermines his character development. Especially because S2 is focusing on Carol’s side of the story. They both need to be on the same page even though they’re far apart. I don’t know how they will achieve that, but I speak for many when I say most Carylers are waiting for the story to just be about them. 

Leaning into ship baiting to manufacture tension is neither cute nor compelling. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it, especially because Carol and Daryl can build tension with a single look. It's not like this show needs more angst (especially, manufactured angst) than it's going to get with these two trying to find each other.

Building Carol’s and Daryl’s authority (individually and together) – This means tweet threads with memorable moments, articles that validate their characters individually and their ship and its potential, video compilations of their moments together, hyping fanart/fan edits that feature Caryl. The whole enchilada. There are creators sharing their work in this space every day. Take your pick and support them.

I think we can all agree that both Carol and Daryl deserve equal promo; their ship deserves validation, and Carol deserves respect. If you don't resonate with what I said here, no hard feelings, I respect your perspective. If you do resonate with what I said here, I hope it helps somehow. Thanks for taking the time to read this. So long story short.

Nobody wants to see toxic shit like this:

We want to see more of this: 

My last wish for you, dear Caryler, is that you find a safe space where you can talk about the things you love. Take mental health breaks if necessary. Remember that any show related content that you see online is placed there strategically (from a marketing perspective) to leverage the audience or boost viewership. If it doesn't make you happy or bring you hope, or feel good for your mental health – refocus your attention to what does make you happy. Starve the content that doesn't deserve your attention, feed the content that brings you joy.

My askbox is open if you need to chat. ❤️

___

Sources:

1. Unethical Marketing Destroys Customer Experience And Brand Reputation, Forbes.com, Accessed 8 March, 2024

2. The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Marketing, Hubspot.com, Accessed 8 March, 2024