#Where i do some editing with the full knowledge of what the story ended up being

[bronzefuryfic]

also chapters and chapters of continuity about Rhae’s injury now being able to payoff in shared experience of recovery with Aemond>>

[waitmyturtles]

I've Caught Up With Wandee Goodday, and here are some cons and pros (aka, am I ever burnt out on GMMTV)

HELLO. I'm back temporarily from my summer travels (before I travel again!). I was in Thailand! I should have brought a box of chappals to chuck at the GMMTV building for where Wandee Goodday has gone. Anyway, I need to process my thoughts on this show, so here we go. (And I apologize, I have NOT looked at the tag for this show, so I don't know if I'm repeating what other people are saying here.)

PROS

CONS

1) This show had so much brainrot potential! Remember the first, like, four episodes? Potential homophobia in multiple workplaces? Delicious bisexuality? Ace storylines??? Wandee's PUTZ deception and manipulation? Yak going along with it, why?? There was a lot going on here, a lot we could have chewed on.

I've been sitting on my historical review of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge for about two months now because I can't get over how pissed I was that that show took some unnecessary, and frankly insensible, turns in part to showcase the damn center ship of First and Khao. I don't think Golf's WG has taken similar turns specifically to center the GreatInn ship, per se -- I just think the writing got messy and lazy right before WG's midpoint in general, and punched a lot of the excitement I had about the show right before I paused around episode 8.

Wandee Goodday is an EXCELLENT example of how Thailand's hourlong QL dramas could be made INCREDIBLY more impactful, by way of forced editing and clarity, if Thailand could follow Japan's suit by making 10- to 12-episode series with 30-minute episodes.

The Dr. Ter storyline was over before it actually, really ended, in, what episode was that, 9 or 10. It was over! Why drag it out? In Japan, that storyline would have been two episodes, mayyybe three, MAX. Shirasu Jin was barely in Kieta Hatsukoi for an episode before he was banished. Takeda Kouhei barely made it through two episodes of Minato's Laundromat 2 before he went bye bye! We don't need these middling dudes. There was enough happening with Dee and Yak to not need this Ter shit! Sorry, LOVE YOU PODD, but Ter was made irrelevant so early on, and then they actually had to work together on a huge case?! And NOW HE'S CHEESING ON TAEM? Like, no. We don't need this.

2) There's still a lot of confusion and conflict between Dee and Yak by last week's episode 11. Dee's got issues receiving love! This is big.

(By the way. Showing Dee ONE video of his parents cheesing on him as a newborn is NOT THE WAY to explain away future parental neglect as an older child. YIKES.)

I love that Yak wants to invest in Dee, and we do see Dee doing a lot of reciprocating there to Yak, but this parental neglect reveal, along with still not knowing enough about the back story of Dee's parents dying, is out of order and not helpful to me getting enough knowledge about Dee for me to feel a holistic sympathy towards him. This makes me wonder if romance is really Golf Tanwarin's bag: if Golf didn't have to focus so much on the DeeYak/YakDee romance, could we have gotten better emotional representations of these guys, gotten a better picture of WHO THEY ARE, before they got into each other? Maybe? I dunno.

3) Considering that homophobia in systems seems to be a theme that Golf is interested in, why did the show drop Yak's concern about being out vis à vis his boxing career? Showing up at the hospital early on, in front of Ter's people, was already a big risk that wasn't given consideration; and now Dee's gone ahead and put the big pre-match smooch on full display by episode 11! I know Yak's gone full tilt for Dee, but I think we needed to put a bow on Yak's early macro-level concerns about being out for that loop to be closed.

[I feel like I have similar concerns here about 23.5 as well, so I'd like GMMTV to know (REMEMBER BAD BUDDY????) that you can have romance and big social commentary in a show at the same time without sacrificing lovely, intimate moments. Neither 23.5 nor Wandee Goodday needed to scrap heavy emotional moments for social media memeable clickbait.]

TL;DR this show, this script, could have been so good, there was so much there by way of storylines.

ANY FUCKING WAY.

PROS

1)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHOW WENT HERE WITH THOR. THIS IS DISSONANCE, THIS IS CONFUSING! THIS IS MAGNIFICENT.

And the follow-up scene with the FABULOUS Fluke Nattanon. Fucking Thor. He's so good. They're so wasted in this show!

2) Great Sapol and Inn Sarin. There's a con here: the elephant pants do nothing for Great's butt. But otherwise, Great, and Inn as well, are DELIGHTS. THEY ARE GOOD ACTORS. They are wasted on this script. I hope they never work together on a GMMTV show again. If they're ever paired again (which I hope they're NOT, down with the ships), I hope they can get cast in a big ol' queer lakorn, à la JamFilm, and escape the need for the meme moments.

The thing is, about Wandee Goodday, is that if you admit you're into the show FOR THE DUDES, then I get why this show is watchable (AND IT'S WHY I'M FINISHING IT, GODDAMNIT), because the actual intimate moments ARE lovely. They're just not coherent with everything that we should know about these guys by the end of a series, and that makes me sad.

Anyway, this show ends this week, and that's it! I wish GMMTV's shop had had the WG items in stock when I was there in person; fuck these shipping fees, I want the Phadetseuk shirt so bad! If I had known this would be a kind of light and fluffy watch, I would have set my expectations WAAAYYY differently, and I would have likely had a better time watching this. As it stands now, I'm better suited to enjoy the finale, so I'm glad I got these complaints out of my system, and I'll say sayonara to all these dudes in full ogle mode later this week.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

More Lodgers! I think Mosley is my favorite of this batch, both pose and design-wise. I'm drawing them in order of introduction, and it's almost like a cool little Easter egg hunt looking for different angles and full-body panels of characters that don't show up a ton.

(Edit! I updated the drawings, it not matching the other set was bothering me)

Thoughts under the cut again

Back at it again with the goggles and gloves! Except for Mr. Griffin which is interesting. Could be for lots of reasons, like pulling descriptions from The Invisible Man, or maybe his work doesn't require a lot of physical risk, or maybe they just didn't want all the Lodgers to feel too samey. He's still aligned with the Lodgers aesthetically through the apron, which Bird also wears. Neat! I'm very entertained by the different types of eyewear too. Some have goggles, some have binoculars, and some have layers of magnifiers like jeweler's glasses (of course I always think of the Toy Story 2 scene). I'm sure some of them have super specialized equipment too, like Maijabi probably has some sort of spectral filter lens or something.

God what I would give to pick Sage Cotugno's brain about some of these designs because I am fascinated by Mosley. They technically didn't have to go through and give each lodger such a strong sense of personality but I adore that they did! Mosley in particular reminds me of Mole from Atlantis, with the scarf and the multi-layered goggles and the digging. And Helsby wouldn't be out of place at the Benbow Inn! Know that I mean this as incredibly high praise, I could talk about the designs in Treasure Planet for days. Point is that both those movies have an incredibly strong visual identity, primarily through the character designs and architecture, and this comic feels the same way to me.

My personal favorite rogue scientist is next up! I love her design so much and I'm so excited to draw her. Also, how in the hell do you end up with "make spy bugs" as your job?? And where can I sign up?? Miss Flowers please

Mosley has my favorite pose but Griffin has my favorite face. Look at him. Grouchy bastard

I realize that I've been labeling all the Lodgers as "doctor" but it's entirely possible that some of them probably don't have doctorates. Y'know. The thing that makes you a doctor. Then again Frankenstein dropped out of college and we all call him "Dr" so I don't see why these fine people shouldn't get the same respect! Dunno if this applies to Victoria Frankenstein though. She's crazy enough to have also finished college while all the other shit was happening.

(yes I know that Frankenstein technically had all the knowledge and the expertise and was miles ahead of literally everybody else and only dropped out because he was busy proving that death is merely a temporary state and God means nothing in the face of human ingenuity and all that, but the bastard still didn't graduate and also he's an asshole so I'm gonna pick on him)

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriMo: Confronting Your Fears

There’s a voice in my head. And it’s telling me to stop writing.

It makes me afraid, telling me that my writing is worthless, that there’s no point, that nothing I do matters. That I suck. That I need to check my ego, pretending that I’m any sort of expert in a position to give advice to others. That if I post this then I’ll be opening myself up to attacks by trolls. Why even bother? It says. No one wants to read your ramblings anyway. Why not just keep your ideas in your head? Where it’s safe?

If you’re reading this? It means that once again I’ve beaten the voice back and written anyway.

There’s a lot of names for that voice. Impostor Syndrome, The Critical Voice. The Inner Editor. Writers Block. (Yes, I am including writers block on this list.) The Superconciousness.

And like it or not, we all have a version of it in our heads.

Writers who write often and freely are not magically free of that voice. The only difference is that they (including me— most of the time) have learned how to corral and even shut out that voice.

How? Every writer has a different bag of tricks, but it’s not as simple as using a program that stops you from rewriting, or only writing in sprints. That can be helpful, but treating the symptoms without confronting the problem will eventually lead to failure.

First you have to pay attention to exactly what is that voice in your head whispering to you. (And don’t let it trick you into believing that it’s not like other inner voices, and is actually is helpful, or truthful.)

Everyone’s inner voice is unique, but if you find yourself:

Needing to do just a bit more research before you can start (even though you’ve already accumulated plenty of knowledge on the subject)

Endlessly editing a section (often the opening!) and never moving any further forward

Suddenly bored with a story even though you were excited to write it just a few thousand words ago

Frequently abandoning writing, and having a hard drive full of almost done manuscripts

If you find yourself frequently doing any of those things? Most likely it’s fear stopping you. Fear of what? Again, it’s different for everyone, but here’s some common ones:

What if it’s bad?

What if it’s made fun of?

What if I fail in my vision?

What if I offend someone (reasonably or not) and a twitter mob descends on me with pitchforks and torches?

What if no one wants to read it?

The thing is, on the surface those fears sound very reasonable. If you write something it could be bad, or stupid, or boring, or offensive.

So what should you do in the face of all these risks?

Honestly? There’s really only two options. Quit, or write it anyway.

Me? I’ve decided to face my fears and write anyway. I assume that anyone reading this wants to do that too.

But how?

In the end it comes down to awareness, and permission.

Here’s how it works for me. I get an idea: What if it’s like Leverage, but in SPACE!!!(but in space is a common idea I have lol) I start writing: This is exciting! Writing an ensemble cast is a fun new challenge! And then suddenly I feel like I’ve hit a wall: This sucks. The characters are boring and hackneyed. No one will ever want to read it. How would I even market something like this? Why am I writing this? I should just quit. I have a different idea that’s much better anyway.

Sound familiar?

But ha! It’s familiar to me too. I know those negative thoughts are just the fear voice talking. So I face them: Fears? You might be right. It might be bad. But I’m going to write it anyway.

And I keep repeating that, reminding myself that it’s okay to write something less than perfect, that it’s okay if it’s bad, and that I still want to write this story, until the writing gets fun again. And it does get fun again. For me at least. I’ve had enough practice at this that the fears really only grip me at certain moments. Unfortunately if the fears have a powerful hold on you, you may have to battle them all the way through. Even if that’s the case, every time you beat them, they will get weaker.

And that’s it. It’s three simple steps.

1. Identify your fears, and how they stop you

2. Challenge the negative thoughts, and give yourself permission to write anyway

3. Keep writing

Easy to say, and hard to do! (Of course I’m not a mental health professional, this is simply my experiences. If what you’re dealing with is severe and/or harming you, please seek professional help.)

I'd love to know what you do to confront your fears!

[howhow326]

Nino salt prompt: What if Rocketear had consequences

Basically, everything that happens in Rocketear happens the exact same way (Nino assuming the worst of Alya, Nino assuming Chat Noir is Ariana Grande, Nino breaking Ladybug's AND Alya's trust at the same time by revealing his/Alya's identity to Adrien, Nino slut shaming Adrien to his face on accident) except the very end of the episode, where Alya tells Nino she is now Rena Furtive.

Instead, Alya tries to reassure Nino that she will always love him no matter what, while lightly asking him "hey, you followed me to my house without permission and took a video of me without my knowledge, wtf?!"

Nino then proceeds to show his ass like usual ("I needed to protect you from that homewreaker!" "I'm your boyfriend so it's perfectly okay for me to stalk you!!").

Alya really dosen't like this side of Nino, so she asks if their relationship can go on break for a bit (and Nino tries to manipulate her more with his "you don't love me!!!" Shtick)

The next day at school, Adrien pulls Alya aside and jokingly asks her "hey, are you Rena Rouge haha lol".

Alya is horrified.

Adrien then gives Alya the full story: Nino wanted to convince Adrien that Chat Nior had seduced Alya and revealed their identities as proof that Alya was only now kerping secrets. Adrien wanted to forget he heard anything, but he decided to ask Alya anyway because he knew what Nino had done wasn't right.

Alya is now infuriated. She can't believe Nino had the gall to be upset about her secrets only for him to go behind her back and violate her privacy this way. Especially since what Nino just did puts his identity at risk!

Alya thanks Adrien for being honest with her. After school, she marches straight to Marinette's house and tells her everything. Alya thought her best friend would be even angrier than she had been.

Marinette is heartbroken when she hears the scoop. How could someone she trusts do that, especially after what happened with Chloe. Marinette decides that Nino news a new secret identity since Carapace has been compromised, but Alya orders her to cut him loose. Nino can't be trusted.

When Ladybug pulls Nino aside and tells him he can't be Carapace anymore because he revealed his identity, the only thing he feels is surpise. The boy really didn't think this was a possibility.

The realization eventually sets in and he gets akumatized. He becomes Shell Shocker and goes after Adrien for "ruining his relationships!" Adrien tries to encourage Nino to give up the akuma, but then Nino reveals he willingly accepted Hawkmoths deal... this is who he really is.

Ladybug, whith some assistance from Rena Furtive, takes him down. Nino tries to play it off, "oh uh, i was akumatized??? Thanks for saving me Ladybug!" But Adrien shuts him down right quick, "He's lying! He willingly accepted the akuma just to get back at his girlfriend!" Adrien calling him out like that takes Nino by surpise, but it's the least of his worries.

Alya secretly recorded the whole fight and posted it onto the Ladyblog. Everybody in Paris now knows who Nino truly is. All of his friendships are destroyed; Marinette and Adrien cut him off for good; and Alya finnaly dumps him. His family decides to leave Paris for his own good.

At the airport, Nino has a chance encounter with Chloe. "Well well well, if it isn't the loser who got exposed for working with Hawkmoth! Even when I did that fashion victim a favor, I made sure that nobody in Paris could see I made a deal with him. You're ridiculous, Lahiffe, utterly ridiculous!"

"Sh-shut up Chloe!" Nino stutters out.

"Waaa, shut up! God, even your insults are basic, bitch. Well, before you go, I have a new scoop for you Nino... News flash! Alya dosen't love you anymore, and it's all your fault!!! It's hilarious, utterly hilarious!"

When Nino finnaly gets to his new bedroom, he cries himself to sleep realizing that he ruined his own life because didn't think there would be consequences...

Edit: optional shipping: Nino x Lila, Alya x Marinette, Alya x Adrien, Marinette x Alya x Adrien

[writingwell]

20 13 fanfic questions

Thanks to @randomfoggytiger for the tag. I didn’t do all of them, just the pertinent ones, and I modified those just to include ffnet as well. 

1. How many works do you have? 26 on AO3 (for my mature rated Spy Castle stuff); fanfiction.net has 278 Castle fics;and about 300ish archived at Gossamer for X-Files.

4. What are your top fics by kudos/reviews? The Return of Vulcan Simmons, Tempest (not a spy work!) on AO3; ffnet would be One Hundred Days of Summer (co-authored with SandianeCarter) and Dash It All.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I think if you take the time to contact me, you deserve the respect of hearing from me. It might not be a full-blown conversation, but I’ll do what I can with a full-time profession and a writing one as well. Also, suuuuper sorry, just discovered AO3 has an inbox. 300 days ago, some of you messaged me and I am just now seeing those. Lol. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have a spy fic where the two of them are just so at odds, so grieving with and over each other… okay that’s most of them. But I try not to end on angst, as it’s supposed to be the journey not the destination. (Angst is a twisting of the heart, not a place where you stay. According to me.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Dash series has the ‘happiest’ endings. Not because life is happy, but because they figured out how to create contentment within what they’d been given/dealt in life. And in ways other versions of the Castle characters hadn’t accomplished. They did the work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Oh definitely. A while back, I turned off comments on tumblr for about a year as I processed and healed from some targeted attacks, and I can say that I came out more certain of myself and my writing. But I was also an adult who had not been forced to weather these attacks as a vulnerable 13 y-o on social media (as so many of you are unfortunately dealing with). I was able to detach, center myself once more, and rise above because I’d grown up IRL, so to speak. I have a faith in something bigger than me which, while it doesn’t look like what it did, has sustained me and given me the confidence to know my worth even as it spurs me to be/do better. 

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Oh definitely, lol. It’s on AO3. Usually I like to explore M/F with a third in there for kicks, as the concept of generosity and giving within the sexual relationship/experience is intriguing to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I objected to the term ‘stolen.’ I’ve had my fics, without my knowledge, posted elsewhere, translated without my knowledge, and changed to other fandom characters to be posted elsewhere. However! I’ve had loads of people ask me too, and I really appreciate being able to go visit them. (Stolen would indicate I somehow own these fanfictions, and I do not, as that would be a legally difficult hill to stand on. I also do not perceive collective fan art in this manner, because the world is all of ours.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Oh there’s a co-written story that me, carto, and muppet47 started and have NEVER finished. We all know Castle has to go to jail, but we can’t write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing it the first time. Correctly. As in, it comes out the way it should or ought to or how I am seeing it in the moment. I have the right rhythm, I can spell and I have the grammar skills. My first draft is fast and good enough for submission. Of course, I go back and edit, and I have to, but I’m very blessed in not ever going through anything like writer’s block.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Secondary characters. I have a tendency for tunnel vision, where all I want to do is talk about and to and for the main characters. If they have friends or family, I barely include them. I can’t manage to care that they exist. But all of us live in a complex web of relationships and community; no one is alone. My last novel, Taste of Salt, was an concentrated effort to include as many other perspectives as possible, so it was told through the POVs of the two main characters and interspersed with flashback chapters from the POVs of their friends, family, coworkers, chance encounters, medical personnel, kids, support networks… there you go.You have to do the thing that’s hard. Write it out, over and over, keep practicing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Yeah, sometimes it becomes necessary for the character. But please keep it to a minimum (imo) as it detracts from the reader’s understanding and experience of reading. It ought to be rather easy to understand what the person is saying due to context or just the flow of the scene. If you’re writing in English, and you have a character visiting France, then obviously some of that ought to be in French, but after a while, you can indicate that the language is being used while writing it in English. I say this because most of you are fandom writers who are not writing for literary audiences; therefore, don’t ruin everyone’s fun my making it incomprehensible or inaccessible. Please.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Don’t ask me to choose between my children! I can tell you that Dash holds a special place in my heart due to the amount of readers who said it gave them understanding of their own sensory issues or their child’s autism, etc. Spy gave me one of my greatest friends, carto, who continues to love and support me and my writing. 

I won't tag anyone, because I deleted so many of these questions, but feel free to answer or share or talk with me about them!

[intermundia]

hello! my name is will :) i have two sideblogs, @mgu-h for formula 1 and @merthurianity for merlin

what to expect here on main: it’s like half aesthetic posts and half star wars, specifically obi-wan and anakin, aka the team, with romantic obikin. i also post about ancient greece a bit, and applied my classics degree pointing out some cultural history of obikin dynamics.

i made edits of obi-wan saying “anakin” and anakin saying “master” at each other and a combo. i love to read about star wars and talk about it, esp. the revenge of the sith novel. sometimes i write meta about it all. i also collect star wars books too (more than 300 so far!)

i've also officially published more than 50 obikin stories! if you are interested in checking out what i have written, here are links and short descriptions of all my works, from novels to PWPs. i'm really proud to have reached this milestone (750k words! whew). thank you guys for all your support along the way <3

Novel-length stories:

Lex Talionis: COMPLETE Plotty, smutty, Sith AU. It’s my take on how Obi-Wan and Anakin could fall to the dark side, weaving in as much lore as I can. Force dyad, Sith’ari, Zygerria, etc. Obi-Wan and Anakin go through.. character development.. and it is dramatized in the changing way they have sex. I poured in all of my theories about metaphysics and the Force, all my knowledge about Augustus and how a Republic dies, all of my opinions about consent and agency. It has rough sex in it and some uncomfortable power dynamics that get resolved, so it is not for everyone, just a heads up. It is complete, and yes, there is a happy ending lol. War Drums: IN PROGRESS Darth Vader dies at the end of Return of the Jedi full of regret and wakes up in his 10-yr-old body after the events of the Phantom Menace. Young Obi-Wan struggles to acclimate to the death of Qui-Gon and the discovery that the boy he swore to train grew up into a Sith. Vader tries to use his knowledge to fix the galaxy and Obi-Wan uses his training to make sure they do it the right way. Anakin underwent his rite and is now an adult, galaxy beware. Murder Puppy: IN PROGRESS Obi-Wan’s decision to do more than flirt with the enemy ends up accidentally acquiring a clingy Sith acolyte, and he is tasked with holding his leash while they work together to end the war. This will probably end up around 40k so a bit shorter than the other two, which are chunkier

Core Oneshots: (my argument for the ship, basically)

Symposium: The story that started it all for me haha. I put Plato's Symposium in a word document and transformed it into a scene where Obi-Wan is forced to reconsider his relationship with Anakin, while dosed with an aphrodisiac, which leads to lines being crossed back in their hotel room. It suggests the erastēs/erōmenos dynamic that appears in much of my work. Unwrap, Wrap: Obi-Wan needs emotional hurt/comfort. This story has him fall apart, and Anakin help put him back together, after a traumatic battle late in the clone wars. Dramatizes the way that the war has muddied their roles and how much their lives are entangled. Obi-Wan gets a handjob in the shower, also, if that is relevant.

Longer Canon AUs: (8k+ words, AUs that take place in the GFFA)

Nostos: Technically a sequel to Symposium. It explores would happen if you took the dynamic established in Symposium and then put the characters in the canon end of Attack of the Clones. How would their behavior be impacted? How would the Jedi react to their decisions? Suckerpunch: Set during the Clovis arc, after Anakin had his jealous fight. Obi-Wan checks on him, and learns about both his marriage and the Tuskens. He doesn't want to lose his apprentice to the dark side, or a Senator. Ready Stance: Anakin is bored during a hyperspace journey during the clone wars, so he asks Obi-Wan to spar. Obi-Wan watches him warm up, they spar, and things escalate. This fic explores more core facets of their relationship, like the legacy teaching dynamic. Found, Fixed: Post-Zygerria Obi-Wan hurt/comfort. It’s similar to Unwrap, Wrap, except it’s told from Anakin’s POV and is much more explicit. It’s one of my rare bottom!Obi-Wan fic, he gets taken care of and comforted from being whumped so hard by the show. Anakin Sucks: Anakin has an oral fixation and it drives Obi-Wan to distraction over the course of the Clone Wars, 5+1 crack taken very seriously lol Make War: show!era Obi-Wan after fighting Vader on Mapuzo shares a dream with him while suspended in bacta. Warning for noncon!! Now with a second chapter set after their near miss on Jabiim. Third chapter based on the kenobi show finale hopefully will be out soon!

A/B/O Stories: (AUs that have this squicky trope, all set in GFFA)

Warm Blood: A/B/O fic that people seem to enjoy. Features omega Anakin having a suppressant failure on the battlefield and going into heat. Alpha Obi-Wan has to fight his way to him, and then tries to resist his instincts—until Anakin confesses his true feelings. Run Away With Me: A/B/O sequel to Warm Blood, tells the story of what happened after the mating, how they left the Jedi and what they’ve been doing. Anakin is preparing to go into heat, and Obi-Wan is helping him nest. Set during Revenge of the Sith, though they don’t know what’s happening in their isolation. Temporary Like Achilles: A/B/O fic. Alpha Obi-Wan is drugged by Dathomirian Nightsisters into a feral state, omega Anakin finds and rescues him. It's a fuck or die with feelings and ultimately a happy ending. Heat Haze: A/B/O fic. Alpha Obi-Wan is living alone on Tatooine, 10yrs post Mustafar. Omega Anakin is about to go into his first heat, and is searching for his mother during the Attack of the Clones. The Force shifts Anakin into the future, bringing the two together in time for Anakin’s heat to begin. Heat Shimmer: A/B/O fic. Alpha Obi-Wan is on Geonosis during Attack of the Clones, investigating. Preheat omega Darth Vader is on Geonosis 13 years later, and the Force decides to move him back in time for his heat. They fight, but it's impossible to fight some insticts. Give Up, Give In: A/B/O fic. Qui-Gon lived AU. Omega Obi-Wan is dosed with a heat inducer during a mission. Alpha Anakin who has loved the older Knight forever doesn’t handle that very well. Ends with Service Top Anakin, a favorite of mine

Longer Modern AUs: (8k+ words, developed AUs that attempt to model the canon dynamic in everyday life)

My Anankē: Classics AU is built on the premise that Obi-Wan would never break the rules re: teacher/student fraternization. He would rather endure years of mutual pining than act inappropriately. Once Anakin’s graduated though, that’s a different story. These are oneshots telling the story of their relationship. It is not told in chronological order, so each one basically opens up another window into their lives. Soulbound: Obi-Wan is a bossy lawyer who plays World of Warcraft. Anakin is an insecure veteran who is in Obi-Wan’s guild and drives him insane. They meet randomly in a bar, and Obi-Wan realizes that Anakin acts the way he does because he likes to be bossed around—so he bosses him around. Zone of Truth: Obi-Wan basically helped raise Anakin through being his Big Brother mentor through a local gaming shop, eventually teaching him to drive and getting him an internship etc. Anakin graduates college and Obi-Wan turns into a ghost, for very good reasons, it turns out. Anakin’s betrayed him, and he’s betrayed himself.

Shorter Smutty AUs: (shorter stories, canon + AUs)

Snap, Crackle, Pop: Padawan Anakin gets braid tugging and spanking after behaving very badly during the Battle of Muunilinst early in the Clone Wars. Tilted: Anakin wakes up after Mortis in a female body and hides, struggling to come to terms with the change. Obi-Wan comes to check on him and reassure him, smut ensues. Make Your Siren’s Call: show!era Obi-Wan struggles to fall asleep in the cave from the photoshoot, and dreams about his old apprentice, full of guilt, angst, and smut Stress Relief: Sith-like/Dom!Obi-Wan is rough on eager!Anakin in their Temple apartment, plays on Master/Padawan dynamic. Unperishing Glory: Homeric AU, Anakin is Achilles-type Chosen One and Obi-Wan is his Patroclus-type mentor-friend, angsty sex Murder Puppy: Playful!Obi-Wan seduces raisedSith!Anakin during a duel, bringing him back to the light during sex. People seem to really like this one, it is one of the things I get the most asks about. I have plans for a short story to expand, it’s on the WIP list I promise. Unwelcome Guest: An AU where Obi-Wan couldn't strike Anakin down on Mustafar. Suitless!Vader comes to find him on Tatooine, and wants to be punished for mistakes, there is spanking involved. Rosetta Stone: Based on the Mummy, an AU where Obi-Wan is a librarian and Anakin is a former soldier, and they defeated a mummy together. Obi-Wan is oblivious and repressed, so Anakin has to be very forward. Safe as Houses: Based on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Anakin is the slayer and Obi-Wan is his Giles-like librarian watcher. Anakin seeks Obi-Wan out in crisis and Obi-Wan takes care of him. The Outlander: Obi-Wan fell to the dark on Naboo AU, so Qui-Gon is Anakin’s Master instead. Anakin sneaks out of the Temple to a club to meet possessive Obi-Wan, there is smut against a wall outside, and Anakin falls to the dark side. Please, Daddy?: Daddy kink fic. Features a bratty Anakin, sex pheromones, spanking and just general daddy!filth. A New Hope: Anakin never left Tatooine AU. He becomes a Han Solo-type pilot who helps a rebel!Obi-Wan escape the Empire. He’s a touch starved, praise starved, virgin who’s insecure about his missing hand. Obi-Wan takes good care of him. Communication, What Communication: Organized Crime AU with collegeStudent!Anakin and accidentalSugarDaddy!Obi-Wan, gratitude kink haha. This fic has been picked up and turned into the phenomenal multichapter story Recoil and Ricochet by @wernnaa.

Potidaea, 432BC: Alcibiades!Anakin and his tutor Socrates!Obi-Wan fight together in the phalanx. Armor kink and period-accurate intercrural sex ensue lol. Minikin and Tiny-Wan: Fluff and crack based on the premise that there are tiny figurines of the Jedi that are alive (kind of like the little dragons in the goblet of fire). Obi-Wan and Anakin each get one, and their Tinys enjoy each other’s company, leading to an awkward but useful conversation. #BinGate: Great British Bake Off AU, Anakin is a contestant who lost his temper and destroyed his bake, Obi-Wan is a judge who enjoys scolding Anakin. Let Me, Master: Padawan Obi-Wan, shy demisexual Master Anakin, Obi-Wan throws caution to the wind and finally seduces his clueless Master, smut ensues with bottom Obi-Wan. Anakin, Duke of Vader, Prince of Coruscant: Anakin is a bratty, troubled prince and Obi-Wan is his unimpressed knight bodyguard. Anakin cries, showing true vulnerability, and Obi-Wan realizes he has a kink for that lmao Sic Transit Gloria Mundi: Sexually frustrated after sparring with his Master, Anakin decides to visit the glory hole in the locker room. Little does he know, he’s not the only one. Boy Toy: Obi-Wan is a fashion designer and Anakin is a first time model. They’ve just finished a boytoy themed photoshoot and get trapped together in an elevator Brotherhood: Anakin is a college student in a spiral after the death of his mother, and his father Qui-Gon left for a trip, leaving his much older step-brother Obi-Wan, who he doesn't know very well, in charge. Obi-Wan picks Anakin up from jail, and the argument goes places. Hard Racing: Anakin is a Formula 1 driver and Obi-Wan is his team principal. After an accident at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix where he ran into his teammate, he is sore, tired, and afraid of getting demoted from his spot. Obi-Wan comes to his hotel to reassure him of his value to him and the team. Beer and Paint: Obi-Wan and Anakin are both apprentices to famous artist Qui-Gon. Anakin has tattoos/piercings/blue streak in his hair, and Obi-Wan is obsessed. Sloppy art and drunk sex ensue.

Smutty +F fic AUs: (short fics that includes Padmé or Ventress)

Très Lecherous: Padmé and Obi-Wan agree to share subby!Anakin, this fic is all three together, and includes DP if that is your jam. Blue Shadow Virus: continuation of above AU, Padmé almost died on Naboo and Anakin doesn’t take it well. Obi-Wan and Padmé dom him into relaxing Post-Revenge: Set after the episode of TCW where Ventress rescues Obi-Wan from Maul and Savage. This is only Ventress/Obi-Wan, but Anakin is extremely present in the fact that Ventress uses Obi-Wan's secret feelings for Anakin to incite him into hate sex. Plus Anakin Makes 3: Sort of a sequel to the Post-Revenge fic, Anakin discovers Obi-Wan and Ventress having a tryst, decides to participate rather than freak out, so more DP haha.

Collaborations: (stories i co-authored with friends)

Apartment Story: Post-Deception arc reconciliation fic, where Obi-Wan is drunk and Anakin is angry. Feelings are revealed, and comfort, understanding and smut ensues. Written with my friend @whohatessandas a RP and adapted into a story. Satellite Mind: What would happen if Obi-Wan could hear Anakin’s thoughts? Spoiler: it does not go well. Set during the last few days of the clone wars, and tracks how their relationship combusted over Anakin’s secrets. Written with @theseptemberist.

[eeblouissant]

This is just headcanon but I do think that you know the episode where Dorothy gets to redo prom with that guy and she gets to have this whole monologue to Sophia about why she ended up with Stan, her lack of self esteem, and how deeply she clearly wishes her life had been different, that she hadn't ended up with him and gotten pregnant (very arguably canonically been raped but that's another convo) and been treated like trash? I believe she's had that same conversation with Blanche. And I'm sure Blanche has sat with Dorothy after various Stan fucks ups and watched her cry, or heard her through the bedroom walls. Seen how Dorothy would change when he was around and putting his shit on her and manipulating her.

hi anon, you’re absolutely correct & I have many thoughts to share so this might get long (and maybe a little sensitive, but I’ll have put up any warnings I feel I should before all this)

Edit: yes this needs a content warning for talk of assault / a semi-deep dive into that night with Stanley (because I did want to have that convo anon, you brought up a very important point)

Firstly, on Blanche & being there for her - I believe that Blanche was the first person Dorothy came to after everything. We know that Dorothy moved in basically right after the divorce (and was most likely completely on her own, with Sophia still living at shady pines / possibly not having the best relationship with her because of it or the stroke) she had no one to turn to. No one to cry to - she seems like the type of person to not have a real reaction to things until much much later, in some attempt to pretend like it hasn’t crushed her.

Blanche is warm, and kind, and full of energy (more than anything she’s a blank slate of sorts, she doesn’t know Dorothy for her failures or all of the horrible, horrible things that have ruined her life) - a complete 180 from all the people that had been in her life previously. Of course she’d crack then, of course Blanche would be the first to hold her while she finally cried. And that would absolutely turn into an attachment (relationship, whatever you’d like to call it) that is far different from the relationship she develops with Rose. Of course it would be temporary, her and Rose would develop a close relationship like that at some point (I think she would struggle because of Roses extensive knowledge on grief and mental health in general, she would want to help her like a professional because that’s what she knows to do. Dorothy struggles to accept the truth straight up sometimes, not until the situation is absolutely dire. Or at least that’s been my observation - so I feel like their relationship, in this way, would be a bit strained?)

One of the only times you’ll find Blanche Devereaux in complete sincerity is when Dorothy comes to her about or has been bothered/upset/hurt by Stan. Or the memory, Blanche does not harbour one good feeling towards that man because she knows the pain of what he did to her (which I will touch on in a minute) has been life long.

Content warning applies past this point

Now, secondly, I think we should have this conversation. Dorothy was assaulted. (I have issues using the R word, for personal reasons, but know that I agree 100% with your language here. You’re correct.)

In every story I’ve heard about the way that night happened, Dorothy is either:

A) drunk. She’s under the influence, she is not aware of what’s going on or able to consent.

Or B) manipulated and/or guilt-tripped into the act with Stanley. She was made to feel guilty so that she’d give in. Whether it was because he was “going to be shipped off to Korea” and “that was [my] part in the war effort” , it didn’t matter what sick story Stanley made up to get her to sleep with him. He took advantage of her, it was not consensual, Dorothy did not want it. Full stop.

Either she agreed to the act out of guilt, or she was too intoxicated to consent. Its cut and dry. Clear as day when anyone speaks about it - each instance alludes to assault. At the time (in history) it may have not been perceived that way, but we now know the signs, what to look for, and that it very much was.

This (fact, really) is one of the biggest reasons why I interpret, write, and portray Dorothy the way I do. She is feeling the very real affects of such a traumatizing moment (and aftermath, holy hell. She did nothing to deserve all of that for something that couldn’t have possibly been her fault at 16-17 years old - I have absolutely no words) 38 years later. Because right after the fact, she was getting married to the man that did this to her after being made to feel like it was her fault, then raising his child, and another 9 years later. All while being virtually alone, cheated on and lied to the entire time. Of course she wouldn’t have room to process or accept the fact until her mind was finally clear. (Until someone like Blanche came along)

This is also another huge reason why I headcanon Dorothy battling & eventually succumbing to dissociation for the majority (if not all) of her marriage. Until it came to her children, Dorothy was shut off. On auto pilot, not there - she doesn’t remember a lot of her marriage and that very first night definitely triggered it. I think the relationship she had been in beforehand contributed to the beginning of a lifelong battle with mental illness and poor self esteem for sure, but Stanley kicked that door in. Dorothy was shaped into the person that we see. I strongly believe that Dorothy would have been a very very different person, had life not been so unrelentingly cruel to her.

Random point but, Sophia dropping that “you used my daughter & didn’t ask for my permission” line hurts a little more than it should, after putting the pieces together. There’s some hurt in her voice there & no one can tell me otherwise. Im convinced she’s only nice to Stan for the same reasons that he’s still in Dorothy’s life - she knows Dorothy struggles with Stan’s presence for a list of reasons. I cannot understand why she’d let him hang around otherwise, personally. (Sophia is also the one to drop “he got you drunk” ((which ??? Holy hell. If it was actually stanley that got Dorothy drunk to the point of not being able to consent, that is an evil, evil man)) when Dorothy goes on about why she let all that happen to her. I could go on about all the little things Sophia says to Dorothy or about the situation in general that just break my heart.)

Anyway, thank you for bringing up that point anon because I’ve been wanting to find a reason to talk about it since I started posting here - I’m shocked it has yet to be talked about here honestly, when it’s so painfully clear.

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

Old-style Paedoing, Before It Got Such A Bad Name

Epistemic status: understanding the recent past, which I wasn’t around for, mainly through the lens of comedies, rumour, and scuttlebutt

The story goes that it was an open secret for many years that Sir Jimmy Savile, knight of the realm, was a horrible sex pervert before it all came to light and he was declared a posthumous monster. And this is true - but the specifics are rather vague.

A lot of sources (or, as they are now, brave prescient voices) were bang-on certain he was into some kind of sex crime, but weren’t sure exactly what. Viz simply painted him as a man whose (unspecified) confessional was worth hearing. An early Mitchell and Webb bit came in on some shocking report midway through, leaving the actual deeds as a noodle incident but quite clear they were appalling: ‘you think you know a guy, and then he goes and does something like that.’ Even Johnny Rotten, back in ‘78, went no further than charging him with ‘seediness’ and saying ‘I know some rumours’ in an edgy-kid stream-of-consciousness about all the people he’d like to kill, where he displays a bit too much knowledge about what does and doesn’t constitute libel.

The general charge, if any, seemed to be necrophilia. Lee and Herring’s bit where they dressed as Savile ended with the punchline ‘bagsy I take him to the morgue’. One of Irvine Welsh’s earlier novellas has a Cornish Savile-alike wantonly indulging in any corpse he had access to - Welsh’s version is a more general TV personality rather than specifically a children’s entertainer, probably for fear of litigation. This was no idle fear, Savile was well-known for taking such insinuations courtside, and of course he did sue when Chris Morris falsely announced his death on Radio 1, with the coda ‘the patients [at Savile hunting ground Stoke-Mandeville Hospital] are far from mourning...The majority, if not all of them, are extremely relieved that he’s now dead, although I suspect that some of them will be sorry that he didn't suffer a great deal more’.

Interestingly, Lee and Herring - as they’ve stated publicly - weren’t brave prescient voices. Hanging around Television Centre in their mid-twenties, they’d become aware of this - to them, absurd - rumour that Savile troubled the corpses. They decided that if nothing else it was game for a laugh, presumably with a BBC lawyer standing nervously in the wings and demanding they not get too specific.

Until Savile’s death, this remained a rather murky Soviet truth, and Savile himself remained a respected public figure. Within the third millennium, even as Chris Morris was being castigated for the Paedogeddon special of Brass Eye, BBC brightly-coloured-blobs children’s show The Tweenies had one of its blobs dress up as Savile as a bit of lighthearted fun - in an edition of the show which was, unwisely, repeated in 2013.

(Side note: the same tabloids which threw an ape over the obviously satirical Paedogeddon regularly ran pictures of topless 16-year-olds, until a change in the law in 2003 forced them to stop.)

It’s all out now, of course, but like the sun is one of those things people are wary of looking at directly for fear of the damage it could do. Savile made full abuse of his position as a public figure, to the point that he himself admitted to the necrophilia in idle conversation. Even by the loose standards of the British constabulary they admit there were over 200 actionable complaints made against Savile over the years.

The crux is this - Savile having committed all these beyond-the-pale acts becomes a very convenient way to paper over the point at which, in the broader consciousness, paedophilia went from ‘crime’ to ‘unforgivable, lowest-circle-of-hell crime’ in the vein of necrophilia. Because it was far more acceptable not too long ago, as many legendary musicians can attest. Gary Glitter generally just seemed shocked people were suddenly taking it so seriously - as did Jeffrey Epstein. 

Louis Theroux’s rather regretful pair of documentaries about Savile has the man himself being quite blase about his attitude to underage girls - as were the girls themselves, some of whom, while young at the time, were by their own account quite aware what might be on the cards. Does this make them culpable? Of course not, they were children. But there are those who would disagree. At the time, many would have and did disagree - including, quite likely, serving police constables. The Rotherham grooming gang, so beloved a talking point of those who just want to have a go at Pakistanis in general, were enabled top to bottom by a police force who considered their victims to be ‘slags’.

[boring-horror-enjoyer]

You've Lost A Lot of Blood - The Book

I read this and wanted to throw my thoughts around, mostly to sort through them.

This is the only book I've read where everything, including the "Editor's Note" and following footnotes, is a fictional part of the story. I ignored the Editor's Note initially. I have never found one that benefitted my experience reading. I did not read it until I was finished with the book because I was so pissed off that it didn't make any sense.

After reading everything, I think this lacked. This is my second Eric LaRocca book; I read Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke which was, also, a little underdeveloped. Generally, I'd say a 4.5/10 for both of these is fair. Neither are a book I'd recommend.

It's so disjointed. Basically, the book structure is like reading a few chapters of a novella broken up by some poems that have absolutely nothing to do with the story and also transcripts of "interviews" between the fictional author and his partner. If this sounds confusing that's because it is. You don't get the full picture until the final "interview" and the footnotes from the fictional editor.

I'll review in order, I guess:

The Editor's Note didn't make very much sense but did provide context. Three people: The Editor, Martyr, and Ambrose. Martyr is a bad guy. Ambrose is Martyr's current partner. The Editor used to date Ambrose in college. It is not at all explained how The Editor knew Martyr, or that The Editor and Ambrose kept in touch past college. The Editor says he knew Martyr, has his collection of works, and wants to come to terms with his knowledge of Martyr and Ambrose's crimes. How does The Editor want to come to terms with it, you ask? Republish and profit off of Martyr's work, I guess.

I did enjoy the little poems, but would've enjoyed them more if it was not so spaced out. Maybe a chunk of poems before the novella, then in the middle of the novella, then the rest at the end. Every 2-3 chapters you are reading a poem and a transcript.

The transcripts are ridiculous. They're conversations between Martyr and Ambrose. It's explained beforehand that Martyr edited these recordings later to add exactly what he was thinking as he is speaking into them. In case he forgets, I guess? But he went in later and added these thoughts, so he clearly remembers well enough? It's nonsensical.

The novella was alright. The plot is like a mix between Black Mirror's Playtest and White Christmas. Could've done without the 30-second lesbian scene in it. Sex is, plot-wise, sometimes good for a story, but not in this case. It lasts for about 5 sentences and you leave it more confused than anything. Speaking of being confused, there is almost no imagery words used at all in the novella. I'm pretty sure the only colors referenced are black and red. The story involves a lot of things made of metal and makes note of an aspect's presence, but does not describe it. Like, saying this mechanical object has gears and valves is like describing a flower by saying it has petals. No shit. What the fuck should it look like though.

Anyway, not a great read. Would I have rather read something better? Obviously yes. Did it pass the time, though? Yep. I liked that time passed more than I liked reading the book.

[z-h-i-e]

Character Study: Thranduil Headcanons

I don't recall how far back I wrote this, but I reposted it on March 8, 2011 on Yahoo!Groups. Of course, that's gone, so now I drop it here, with updates for 2024, because a few things have changed since I started writing Thranduil into stories over 20 years ago.

Author: Zhie

Character: Thranduil

What does your character look like, how do they dress, what are their mannerisms, how would you describe their voice, what is their personality like, what kind of day-to-day problems do they face, and how do these problems affect them?

I see him as fairly proper, and not one who likes those fancy robes Elrond wears.  He's a 'say yes to pants' kind of guy.  He is very patient, but at the same time, once he has an opinion it can be difficult to sway him.  I kind of have Otto Preminger's voice stuck in my head for him, thanks to the cartoon.  Day-to-day, when in Middle-earth, he deals with running a kingdom, which he does very systematically and very diplomatically.  He's very organized, and really gets into whatever sort of work he is doing.  (I don't always directly say what a person's occupation is, but I like to give everyone an occupation.  In Doriath, I had him as a sort of law librarian/paralegal, and eventually move him up to being the Middle-earth equivalent of a lawyer.)

2024 addition: By the time I get him to Valinor, he's an extremely formidable lawyer, and an expensive one. I also have it that he keeps many, many horses that are expertly trained and can be rented for journeys, and thus runs the Valinor equivalent of Uber. Eventually I have plans to have him move up to the level of Magistrate.

When and where was your character born?Due to a lot of storytelling stuff my brother and I came up with before I started putting fanfic down on paper, we decided that Thranduil would be born in Valinor, and made him just a little younger than Ecthelion and Galadriel, his best friends when he was growing up.  He's a few hundred years older than Celeborn.

What problems did your character face growing up?

Not many.  The worst problem was probably dealing with the punishments from going along with whatever mischief Ecthelion was causing, or from kissing too many girls and making them run off startled or screaming.

What are their interests?  What are they good at?  What are their personal strengths and weaknesses?

Great diplomat.  Excellent public speaker.  Not so good at keeping prisoners safely locked up *coughgollumanddwarvescough*  He likes shiny things.  He doesn't particularly like war, but he's good at combat.  He likes to drink, he's a wine connoisseur.  He also likes to sing.

Besides being a lawyer, he has a fair amount of knowledge about healing.  Most of it was learned non-traditionally, from observation or just trying things.  He ends up aiding in the delivery of both of his sons, as well as countless other elflings later (including a daughter Galadriel has later in Valinor)

2024 edition: This is part of what I leaned into in Phoenix, where he offers to accompany Finrod around Tol Eressea when Finrod is still recovering from some injuries he has. Thranduil is very much a person I think strives to take care of people he is close to or likes or whom he feels some responsibility for -- he was a dad mode king. In the story Tusk, I have a side story where Glorfindel learns that in the depths of Mirkwood, there's an area where there are half-orcs and some full orcs, the products of soldiers who fell in love with the enemy and brought them back to Mirkwood, and Thranduil finds a way to keep these families together.

What are your characters favorites (food, color, season, place, type of music, etc.)?  List any you can think of.

Very eclectic musical tastes.  In Valinor, his 'retirement' job is running an inn that includes a large pub and dance hall.  He tends to have a variety of musical acts.  Favorite color is green (which I tend to think is the typical color for an Elf, though from many surveys the statistically typical color a human picks is blue).  He likes to be outdoors among lots of trees more than any other place.  Favorite food would be a good glass of strong red wine.  He enjoys the quiet of winter. 

2024 addition: He likes reading outside and watching fancy birds be around him. White peacocks, silly parrots with big colorful plumes, rainbow pheasants found only in Valinor--bird watching, but like, super fancy bird watching.

Do they have any family?

From the canon, he has parents, and of course there's Legolas, his son.  But I extended the tree a little, and gave names to people (like his mother) who didn't have one before.

Parents: Oropher & Hisre

Wife: Avisiel

Sons: Ilmendin, Legolas (both sons are eventually married, so he's got inlaws from that)

Grandchildren: 1 granddaughter* (I); 1 granddaughter and 1 grandson (L)

Great-Grandchildren: total of three thus far

Also, his father officially adopted Erestor while they were in Doriath, so while he has no blood siblings, he will refer to Erestor as his brother, as well as a character borrowed (with permission) from Mary & Mal named Thaladir, who becomes loyal to Oropher and leaves Doriath when the rest of the family does.

Thranduil is also related to Celeborn in that they are first cousins; his father (Oropher) is the younger brother of Celeborn's mother.

I like to story weave...

2024 addition: *When I finally got a copy of the Mirkwood choose your own adventure book, I pulled the name of the main character as his adventurous granddaughter.

Who are their friends?

From childhood, his best friends were Galadriel and Ecthelion.  When he was in that post-childhood pre-adulthood phase, his best friends were Celeborn and Finduilas.  Eventually, he and Erestor became very close friends, and one part of this was due to them both managing to survive through the three ages in Middle-earth, while another part certainly had to do with their mutual appreciation of good liquor, shared religious beliefs, and philosophical ideas. 

2024 addition: He becomes quite close to Finrod later, to the point of romantic relationships that his wife approves of.

Do they have any pets or animals they are close to or care for (like a favorite horse)?

Not particularly.  He does like sled dogs; those are used more often in Mirkwood than horses, due to the ease of keeping them in the caves, and the greater ability the dogs have to be able to fight giant spiders.

2024 addition: When I wrote Tusk in November of 2010 as my NanoNovel, I gave everyone fun animals -- Gildor had a unicorn, Erestor ends up adopting a cobra, and Thranduil got a giant deer. Do the math - the films started coming out in 2012, I got tired of having people finding Tusk years later tell me I had the wrong animal in the story, so I retconned the deer to match the films -- that was also when I declared I was done aligning Bunniverse with all adaptations. (And thank Eru I did, because can you even imagine the literary gymnastics it would take to reconcile all of Rings of Power with everything else?)

What do they do for fun?

Drink, listen to music, sing on occasion, hold discussions, make love to his wife, watch other people having sex.  He has, in Mirkwood, a beautiful suite, which is offered for use to most anyone who is interested, with the understanding that there are a number of areas where Thranduil can sit behind the wall and look in through a peep hole to observe.  He doesn't do it to get off, he does it strictly for research purposes -- he writes various guides and sociology books under a pseudonym.  Not many even know it's him; he only explains that the room is set up to allow for this unnamed person to observe.  He even makes sure not to be in the observation areas every single time things are going on so that there is less suspicion it is him.  (I guess this goes more into that secret area..)  Since there are a few who are aware of what he does, he has on occasion been invited to observe more closely, and in those cases is very professional, asks questions while he's there, etc.

2024 addition: In Valinor, with plans to finish the most extensive work he's been writing for thousands of years, he get Amarie, Finrod, and Edrahil to let him observe some of the more unique techniques of sexual relations. Later, when he begins a relationship with Finrod, it begins under the terms that it is to allow Thranduil to have experiences so that he can write about them with better understanding. This has led to some of the best scenes I have written, and I don't think any of them are posted publicly as of the writing of this.

Why do people like your character?

He's very intelligent, and very fair.  He sees things with a very legal mind.  He's also fairly generous, depending on the situation.

Why do people dislike your character?

He makes sure you know that he's right when he knows or thinks he is.  He's also a slight bit paranoid about some things -- you would be, too, if your neighbors were evil.

2024 addition: I don't think it gets mentioned in this, but, he is creeped out by goats because of their eyes. Galadriel is almost always seen as keeping them as pets to troll him.

What is your character’s dream or ambition?

To have a happy, healthy family, living together, in a safe place.  At the end of the second age, he sent his wife and his mother to Valinor after the death of his father, so it was a while before he saw them again.  

Is your character romantically involved with anyone?  Who?  How long?  Why?  What is this person like?

Avisiel was living in the wilds of Doriath, much in the same way Nellas does.  Thranduil met her one day while wandering in the woods.  The rest of her family had been captured by Morgoth and turned into orcs when she was very young; she escaped by hiding.  He coaxes her into Doriath, teaches her the language, and eventually falls in love with her.  She's not a very complex character, but I didn't think Thranduil would necessarily fall for one of the elite ladies of Elvendom. 

2024 addition: He also becomes romantically involved with Finrod during the Fifth Age in Valinor. The first time is brief, about a year, which Thranduil ends up fucking up when he agrees to take on the lawyer role in a case against Finrod, in part thinking that not much will come of it, and in the end, Finrod loses and spends some time after that refusing to even speak to Thranduil. Years pass, and they eventually slowly get together again, with Finrod giving the ultimatum that everyone is allowed to make mistakes, but now that Thranduil has made the mistake once, if he does so again, there is no third chance.

What is a secret about your character that no one knows?

Some people know about that bit with the room and the watching and the writing and all that.  This is a tough one.  Well, there's one that his wife knows (hard to keep things from a spouse) and no one else really does.  Sometimes, when he wants to get out of being at a party or to go to bed (or to "go to bed" *nudge nudge*) he'll act more intoxicated and sleepy than he is so that he can escape to his room.  He actually holds his liquor quite well (especially compared to some other Mirkwood Elves)

What else is important to your character?

Religion is very important to him, so much so, that he became the equivalent of what would be an ordained minister/priest in the religion he practices, though he really doesn't do much in terms of that with everything else he does -- it was more a personal spiritual thing.  His younger son, however, also takes that path, but more-so as his occupation (yes, I made Legolas the 'cleric' of the Fellowship... too much D&D influence? you decide...).  Because of all of that, he is very devoted to and protective of his religion, and it tends to influence him with some of the decision making he does.

2024 addition: Of course, this is something that I know is going to weave into and make difficult the relationship with Finrod, whom I have as one of the biggest heretics in all of Valinor, and someone who does not practice any religion, faith-based beliefs, etc. (He only gets away with it because he's so nice.) I have writings (again, unposted thus far) where at one point, Finrod decides to start his own religion, and again, this becomes straining between him and Thranduil because Thranduil is so devout to his beliefs.

[encrucijada]

What’s the wildest scene you’ve ever written and what song is the soundtrack to that scene?

define "written"

fr i'm bad at this thing you call "writing", especially actually advancing any of my wips so most if not all of them are stuck in 1-3 chapters limbo. so let me tell you about the plot point entirely inspired by me listening to stay awake? by bastille

i have give me the future (album) to thank for much of the vibe of my book keep staring. first with distorted light beam and then with stay awake? which immediately formed the image in my head of a dream version of piedad appearing in adam's head.

this is our thesis statement. later i would pair up stay awake? with drive by halsey to create one big moment between our two leads but i don't think the dubbed "car drive scene" is that wild. i actually don't know if the stay awake? scene is wild either but it's all i have that isn't the ending of any of my books, there's two i can think of that are especially wild (including this one). and they don't really have a soundtrack.

i listened to stay awake? but for a while it was simply a silly amv in my head... until i found this photo of piedad's fc lydia graham (that i used on that one netflix trend: keep staring edition). which i messaged by best friend with "this looks like piedad in one of adam's dreams"

further context: up until this moment adam had been indulging on this dream as a bad coping mechanism. but even a dreamer's dreams have limits and for the dreamers in my world that is not being capable of bringing human beings into the waking world. adam's coping lasts only as long as he's asleep and soon that starts to feel to him like getting poked with red hot metal. so he snaps at dream!piedad, as we see above. a few other responses from them include: "don't i look real?" and "you're mad at me now for being what you wanted?" and "like you ever cared." because when you're a dreamer sometimes your dreams will call you out for manipulating the dreamspace to your liking.

i have plans to have dream!piedad kill adam at some point. and the phrasing of that hopefully tells you it does not affect him in the waking world, aside from a rude awakening and he'll probably be hurting for a few days. i don't know if i want it to happen here, because i don't even know when this scene is going to happen and how much i want to sour whatever thing adam and his bad coping mechanism have going on.

the no death option looks a little like this: adam has an argument with dream!piedad, a full-on fight that has the dreamspace practically bursting at the seams, all the while dream!piedad sways between being that fantasy adam concocted (partly by accident tbf but hey he let it continue) and becoming angrier and angrier with him. but because ✨toxic relationship (yes even in his dreams he has so many issues)✨ it kinda goes nowhere, kiss it better. adam still feels like he's being prodded and prodded. the dreamspace can feel as real as the waking world to a dreamer, to the point most have a hard time discerning whether they've woken up or not sometimes, but there's always that knowledge... that it's fake. adam can dream himself fifteen different realities where he and piedad leave the city and forget everything.

but that doesn't change the real world. the city in keep staring is the result of me listening to dead club city by nothing but thieves so it tilts towards slightly dystopic and maybe a bit sentient. you can't just leave the city, or these characters can't, they're woven into its fabric. the story won't be letting them go that easily. if adam and piedad could just leave and forget, this wouldn't be a tragedy.

which brings us straight into the next chapter. the "car drive scene" chapter. i literally just talked about this on another post's tags but the drive by halsey chapter is from piedad's pov. adam's chapter ends (how? unsure, but we get no hints of what's about to happen) and we open with piedad doing their own thing... only to realise after his outburst in the dream adam drove to piedad's current place and asks if they want to go on a drive.

then the chapter happens and the experience of listening to stay awake? immediately followed by drive is surreal to me specifically because it really does feel like getting the two povs of my characters one after the other

[cctinsleybaxter]

2022 in Books

Happy new year! I play faster and looser with this list every time, but 42 books -> 6 favorites -> 7 almost-favorites and/or honorable mentions. Tumblr doesn’t lend itself very well to forum discussions that aren’t ‘fandomized’ in some way, so know I’m always down to answer questions, go into more detail, talk about other books, or exchange recommendations. With that let’s dig in, listed by reading order not merit.

The Department of Historical Corrections by Danielle Evans

At least I am having a twenties, I thought, though my twenties, which I’d treated with a cast-down-your-bucket-where-you-are approach, had thus far only brought me a string of men who were all very sad about some quality in themselves that they had no intention of making any effort to change.

Quality varies so much in anthologies that I tend to dwell on the misfires over successes and end up disliking them, but that wasn’t a problem here. Evans’ writing style instantly clicked for me; prosaic but still very beautiful, with short sentences and run-ons taking turns. I also think it’s interesting (read: annoying and predictable) that summaries and reviews say that this is a collection ‘about race’ when so many of her stories are reflections on everyday life. My favorite was Why Won't Women Just Say What They Want, about a visual artist who sets out to make amends to every girl he’s ever wronged, with close runners-up being Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain (about a wedding reception) and Alcatraz (about a family reunion.)

Emma by Jane Austen

Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person who either marries or dies, is sure to be spoken kindly of.

I like Emma so much it’s a little embarrassing. It’s the most conservative story I think I have ever or will ever enjoy, about small town drama resolved by maintaining the status quo, and I’d love to do a deep-dive comparison between adaptations because the appeal is all in the third person limited narration. The book is funny and smart and dumb and overly-descriptive and frivolous and mean and full of word games because Emma herself is and likes those things; the intro of the edition I borrowed calls it a ‘dramatization of self-knowledge,’ pointing out that the dialogue is so memorable and idiosyncratic because characters are speaking in the way other people hear them, rather than how they sound to themselves! To take one example it’s difficult to write a guy who has a surface-level standoffish ‘doesn’t suffer fools gladly’ attitude but is fool4fool (many romcoms have tried and failed), but as someone. um. in that demographic. Knightley works.

Savage Feast by Boris Fishman

I can make myself work at my writing for many more hours than I want to. I can make myself rise when all I want is to lie on the floor. I can make myself charm almost anyone, especially if it means they can give me something I want. But I can’t make myself stop eating so quickly. I can’t make myself stop eating even though I am full. It’s too good. And I am too hungry.

Well Mr. Fishman thanks for getting me to fall in love with you with that paragraph. Unlike someone writing a memoir just because they have the ability to write access to the publishing industry + memories, Fishman has a rare knack for storytelling that makes it feel like whatever he says next is worth hearing. He uses in-text recipes to frame his family’s move from the USSR to the United States as continuous event, his tactile descriptions are incredible (“…a zinc-grey pot embossed with factory and model identifications that made it feel like a part of some engine. The lid closed over the rim with a distinctive, plaintive peal that rolled all through the house...”), and grappling with emotions without coming to any real conclusions is honestly a novelty for the genre. He of all people could romanticize Eastern Europe and doesn’t- is instead up front about returning and feeling some of the completeness he expected, but also the disillusionment and smallness of childhood nostalgia, and, more practically, antisemitism. Describing the beautiful view from a friend’s guest room, “maybe I could feel what I felt because I could leave.” 

And the Band Played On by Randy Shilts

It had become a verb which needed no object.

Journalists have a lot of trouble balancing objectivity with their own opinions and emotions, and usually just opt for one or the other. Shilts is maybe the rarest gem in the world for achieving such a balancing act, and this is maybe the best nonfiction book ever written. His research into as many sides of the global AIDS crisis as possible, the creation of a timeline from the late 70s up to publication in ‘87, and his concise, thoughtful writing style are unmatched. I couldn’t highlight the edition I was using so ended up taking notes just because everything felt so relevant. In the early 80s The University of California wouldn’t buy a $1,500 filter for their infectious disease lab and was too proud to accept government help. One researcher (Levy) asked the government anyway and got it, but it set his research back six months. “In politics the players jockey for power, in academia, they play for vanity, a far more compelling instinct that could conjure far more vindictive punishment.” 

It’s always by turns comforting and deeply painful to me that so little has changed within the LGBT+ community over time. The slowness with which progressives actually managed to accomplish anything, infighting over everything from personal health responsibility to PC language, and the stark differences between gays living in the extremely politically and socially active West Coast and the didactic ‘old school’ East Coast were fascinating to read about. Felt far too relevant in 2022. 

A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan

Another @actuary-tattoo rec that was so catered to what I like in a novel it’s a little scary. Third person limited narration, short, clever sentences, a horror story that feels like three different books it changes plot and tone so dramatically, and a perfect, brilliant ending that ties everything together and resolves none of it. Also not a premise I would’ve sought out on my own, about 20-somethings Remy and Alicia becoming obsessed with Remy’s ex-girlfriend trough Instagram. Takedowns of affluent urban millennials and ‘the social media generation’ have always felt disingenuous to me, because either the self-insert character is just as well-off as their peers but inexplicably better than them, or the self-insert is a put-upon impoverished outsider.. with likewise unquestioned moral superiority and no earthly desires. Authors and filmmakers frame themselves as holier-than-thou observers when they should be using their participation in these groups to their advantage! Morgan explores the emotional toll of the East Coast social scene and then doesn’t excuse it. Her descriptions of anxiety and small talk and playing the game are the best I’ve ever read, and it was refreshing to have two horrible protagonists so complicit and so needy in that setup. I know them, I love them, I’m terrified for them.

Times Square Red, Times Square Blue by Samuel ‘Chip’ Delaney

Two essays, Times Square Blue a reflection on how NYC had changed in the 1990s through explicit descriptions of Delaney’s time at porn theaters in the 70s and 80s, and Red composed of lectures, notes, and diary entries advocating for cross-class and cross-cultural contact in everyday spaces. In a profit-driven world networking is becoming the only option for social contact, as places to encounter one another naturally, or even just be in cities are actively destroyed with ‘no loitering’ signs and buildings you can’t set foot in without a wallet. Safety concerns are often cited as the motivation behind these changes, but urban planning decisions like moving sex businesses away from walkable streets, into areas only accessible by car and surrounded by other ‘seedy’ businesses instead of residences, parks, or offices make them isolated and even more unsafe for everyone. The Times Square of the 90s was already becoming a Times Square dedicated to the vague idea of tourists in need of fun, the vague idea of (wealthy, white) women in need of protection, and the vague idea of U.S. citizens in need of ‘a good neighborhood’ over the needs of the real people living and working there.

Runners Up/Honorable Mentions

Broken Harbor by Tana French

The friend who got me hooked on French books hasn’t read this one, but pointed out that the reason she likes them is because they’re like if Criminal Minds was good. I don’t usually delve into plot with these reviews, but since my love was entirely driven by it I’ll spoil a little here. A nuclear family are found killed in their suburban home with no motive and too many suspects, but the most puzzling aspect of the case is that the house is riddled with holes. The father was trying to catch some sort of beast he was certain was living in the walls, probably (probably?!) the product of carbon monoxide poisoning, which both symbolically and literally drove the family into bankruptcy, social shame, and a brutal death. As a commentary I found it really striking (made even more so by French’s often unkind depictions of the working class; queen of lack of self-awareness), and I love that the B plot is structured around the setup of ‘older by-the-book cop takes younger loose-cannon cop under his wing’ but with realistic, disastrous consequences on both sides. The originality and the deliciously creepy ambiguity have stuck with me; some scenes are straight out of a nightmare.

This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno

Rare to find something so skillfully written and genuinely scary in the horror genre. Like A Touch of Jen it shifts focus and feels divided into three different books, the first a meditation on hauntings and the second reminiscent of a violent Stephen King story, but it really lost me in the last third. Frustrating in a way that only made me want to discuss it more, I’ll definitely look for anything Moreno writes in the future. He has my attention.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Easy to see why this has become a college staple; helpful as a literary reference point, but also just a hell of an interesting story with some choice dialogue. It only gets a mention because I will always prefer and advocate for The Idiot, which reworks similar themes and characters to much more melodramatic and touching effect.

The Fisherman by John Langran

If you like cosmic folk horror this is a must-read, with some of the best trope subversions I’ve run into and an intelligent, patient writing style. The ending lost me a little bit, but I am so into the idea of a meditation on grief told through the lens of a distorted, monstrous fishing story! Two working class men waiting out bad weather at a roadside diner are warned about ‘the one that got away,’ and go to seek it for themselves.

Awful Hospital by Jonathan Wojcik

I haven’t read a webcomic since I was in early college, never really been my preferred medium, but man is AH good. As a sci-fi horror action historical tragedy romantic comedy board book finger puppet comic it’s much more nuanced and kind with its moral philosophy than a lot of ‘great literature’ I’ve read. I was hesitant to include it on the list because it’s not a completed work or even really a book, but why not let it be a prefect little anomaly, just like the thing itself.

The High Crusade by Poul Anderson

This was so fun! A serialized magazine story about aliens landing in feudal England and being unprepared for villagers physically beating the shit out of them and stealing their spaceship to go fight the French. Brought me back to being a kid staying up past my bedtime to read weird garbage, only this one was incredibly well-written, framed as an account transcribed by the village clergyman (the only literate crew member, natch), and given lots of excellent drama and conundrums.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Like watching a train wreck (complimentary.) Everything on earth happens to this 18-year-old, and I’m delighted that it’s being taught in schools since it has as much to say about writing and English social history as it does being a lovelorn teenager. I also much prefer Charlotte’s writing style to her sister Emily’s; was finally getting that ‘rawness’ everyone always claims is in Wuthering Heights. 

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #8 v2

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 1, The Arrival, finding out Gabriel is in the bookshop

I like my old post too much to just flat out edit it. Plus, I'm so excited to answer some of my own questions even though I can't be too sure of everything. Here's the old one if you wish to see.

In a way, I am re-visiting it, but I'm also redoing some parts.

All that said, let's dig in.

What do we learn from the sideburns?

They are both long.

It has taken me an absurdly long time to catch on, but generally speaking, the left sideburn will have less hair or fullness to match the often intended "lighter" side of Crowley's hair. The story seems to favor making the color brighter on the left side of his head. Instead of making a sideburn brighter, the sideburn is styled with less hair to look more light.

If I'm reading this scene properly, the left sideburn increases in fullness between after the cut from when Crowley takes off his sunglasses and walks toward a more centered area of the bookshop floor.

The left sideburn is probably still more light in amount of hair than the right, but it is notably thick compared to everything the story has showed up to this point. The right sideburn is thick as well, but we saw a similar thickness earlier when Crowley answered the phone by the Bentley.

Crowley says, "You'll never guess who Shax was asking me about."

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, in the direction of where we assume Crowley's presence is, and he says, "Yes, I think perhaps I will."

Here are some thoughts to toy with.

In all of season 2, how many times did we see Crowley and Aziraphale cross the threshold together with no other angel already inside?

Never. They crossed twice with Gabriel already inside, once in episode 1 and once in episode 2. We assume they crossed together at some point after episode 4 ended because they were walking toward the threshold. Even if they did, Crowley's sideburns were staying their length at that point.

How many times were Crowley and Aziraphale on the main bookshop floor with just the two of them?

Twice. Crowley entered from the stairs as Aziraphale was preparing for the ball in episode 5. Aziraphale entered from the threshold to the building in episode 6.

How long were Crowley's sideburns those times?

They were not as short as (usually) around as humans and not as long as when Crowley is around Gabriel.

The story never tells us if Crowley would already be having longer sideburns around Aziraphale that are not as long as they get around Gabriel when only Crowley and Aziraphale are on the bookshop main floor.

Does Crowley need a mirror to know if the sideburn length changed?

We can only guess. His drive after his visit from Hell makes a point to remind us the mirror is there, just in case he does need one. Those "two minutes" from the call Aziraphale made...that might have meant, or included, Crowley needed two minutes for them to shorten "properly" (for lack of a better word).

Is the effect intentional?

Crowley is supposed to be able to change his appearance as he pleases. Since I'm led to believe he is intentionally creating his own space at the park and intentionally using his knowledge about them on how to handle Shax's call and intentionally letting them shorten even on his drive to the coffee shop, it seems they are related to how he manages his own space, at least when it comes to the Bentley and sitting in the park. I never mentioned this on Shax's call, but Crowley can see his reflection in the phone.

At the same time...we don't see this type of management from Aziraphale for Aziraphale's own space. The current space is Aziraphale's, not Crowley's, even if Crowley is welcome in it, and it is like a secondary home base to him.

It seems there is something more that these sideburns do that I can't quite figure out and keep guessing is related to memory.

Whatever that extra something is, memory or not, this sideburn effect is NOT to alert Crowley, "Gabriel is nearby! Gabriel is nearby!"

It alerts us but not him. Aziraphale is way beyond needing an alert by this point.

That look from Aziraphale, that could be a recognition that the sideburns are that long on Crowley because yes, Gabriel is truly inside the bookshop with them, and his anxiety about the situation is further confirmed.

Is the brighter red streak visible?

Oh yes. This scene wants you to know it's there despite the dim lighting of the scene itself. We get close enough views multiple times.

Is the hairstyle different from the present day Crowley scene before it?

Yes, it is quite different actually though we don't see it as much from the top as from the front. The sideburns are longer for a start, but it's also become more collected and tidy. The top front swoops further upward, like it did in earlier scenes, with a little tilt and curve to Crowley's right.

Additional Notes:

If you thought I was having fun toying with questions above, wait until you see this.

There is so much going on with this scene, but I guess I should focus on hair first.

Now, I didn't go over the "Before the Beginning" scene at the start because I'm more interested in the "present day" scenes and not interested enough for the others, well, to make posts about them anyway. However, that scene exists and showed us an angel who eventually becomes Crowley. That character had long sideburns. As I'm comparing while drafting this post, I think that angel's sideburns were not quite as long as the sideburns shown in this scene. So, the sideburns were maybe more like the length when we saw Crowley at his own threshold with the Bentley.

Oh, here's the fun bit, for me!

~Start me responding my own questions of original post~

So, why does Gabriel's presence make Crowley's sideburns long for the audience to see? None of the other characters react to his sporadic hair changes, sideburn length changes or not, and Crowley himself never shows an awareness it's happening either. But we get to see it.

Ah, but you see, my past self, two characters do react. Crowley does have an awareness, as does Aziraphale. They are both just very deliberately subtle about it. They never verbally say it, but they look, and they act with intention to them, I am reasonably sure.

If the Metatron is editing the Book of Life, why is he telling us about Crowley's constant hairstyle changes and care so much given the utter contempt in a single glare at Crowley we see in episode 6? Is he that obsessed?

If this is some tremendously twisted literary battle within a book between Crowley, Aziraphale, and the Metatron, they are taking advantage of the fact that the Metatron is probably going to have no clue about physical human appearance and that sideburns do not behave this way on mortals.

Otherwise, well, this just plain isn't the Metatron editing the Book of Life.

I mean, personally speaking, I think the Book of Life is hidden as that matchbox somehow because that is a very risky yet possibly clever way to hide it from Michael or Heaven in general. Not strong in that thought, just...where I am.

But anyway...

These are GUESSES, which I will say repeatedly. I am nowhere near as sure on these guesses as I am on the "space matters for these sideburns!" thing.

If the Metatron's not editing it to that extent, who/what wrote it initially to that extent?

Current findings suggest...Crowley and Aziraphale. They co-wrote this story...for us and/or each other. That's why we have a mix of Aziraphale's romance fantasy and Crowley's spy fantasy. Crowley even tries to play match-maker for Aziraphale while Aziraphale gets into the spirit of being an investigative reporter (not quite the same as spying, but still, seeking intel, figuring things out, etc). The Metatron might be some kind of invasive editor or opponent due to how it ends.

If the characters are trapped in a time loop that keeps resetting to create the story we're given, why are the sideburns reacting based on character presence and space but with little acknowledgment of chronology?

My current guess...it is not a time loop. It is a very thorough edit or possibly a few more edits. At least one story happened once that involved the box, Gabriel, and the Book of Life. Beelzebub may have been involved too with the end result or intention being to help those two get a happy ending.

Crowley and Aziraphale went back and took some specific things out, replacing them with specific other things in ways only they should be able to understand between each other. It can't be too much different because then it loses too much meaning to the reader(s).

Problems arose with the Metatron breaking into the story. He also made some edits.

If memories are being stitched together to create a new story, why don't those memories care about such an obvious inconsistency?

Current guess: If that is what is happening, they do care. They are supposed to be noticed as part of the messages between Crowley and Aziraphale. The Metatron will hopefully not understand, but he is trying if his mimicry of their behavior is any clue.

Is it a key to direct the memories on what to do? He's not in every scene!

Current guess: More like a key for what they were, at least between those two (if that is their function, they seem vastly more related to space as I study this stuff).

Sure, Crowley can change how he looks whenever he wants for whatever reason he wants, but like...is this subconscious?

Current guess: Somewhat, but he likely initiated it on purpose and took things from there.

Who, in this fictional world, is trying to tell us what they mean?

Crowley and Aziraphale, so we can enjoy their story as they sort it all out.

And you know, what do they mean?

Still working on that, but it's helping Crowley manage his space when he is in or around his car at the very least. There's something more I still can't figure out because they must be doing more than that, especially when it comes to Aziraphale's space.

When I ask seriously in my head "Why Crowley? What's so special about him, besides my own current obsession, but within the context of this story?" the first thing that leaps to mind is the continual hints about his past angel status and most specifically the hint that Crowley was a "first order" archangel. Gabriel is almost always referred to as the "Supreme Archangel," not a "first order" archangel. However, in episode 6, "first order" are the words Gabriel uses when the camera pans to Crowley's face. I don't think "first order" is used any other scene.

So, maybe Crowley was a past first order archangel before his fall and maybe that's going to matter at some point.

Plus, you know, that past angel had long sideburns.

I am still in this same place of thought.

All the "why" rambling aside, I think it also relates to the space Crowley shares with Aziraphale in the given context of this scene. The bookshop is "technically" Aziraphale's bookshop, but Crowley is always welcome in it. However, Gabriel's presence changes the meaning of that space, not for the entirety they are in it throughout the story but enough that the longer sideburns are always on if there is going to be a scene of just Crowley and Gabriel or just Crowley, Aziraphale, and Gabriel. All such scenes take place in the bookshop from start to finish of the season.

I am about as sure I can be that it relates to the space as a type of home base for Crowley. I am not as clear on how length is supposed to mix with character relations. I am leaning toward rank, memory, or both...and/or supernatural existence since "short" is strongly associated with being around humans or a supernatural entity acting human.

Once humans get involved later with the ball, the medium or long sideburns will actually alternate depending on what is happening in the presented story.

I am going to point out as well, the sideburns can and do slightly foreshadow what I've ended up calling qualifying encounters. They are long before Crowley knows Gabriel is there. And they are there, in my assumption, because this is a scene that has Crowley, Gabriel, Aziraphale, and no one else, in the bookshop.

I have stopped thinking of things as qualifying encounters. Sideburn lengths have activation points based on space and character presence. From there, they lengthen or shorten depending on movement or lack thereof (stillness). Muriel threw me off because I didn't grasp how literally the bookshop as a space took their claim to be human.

An extra note: Despite my theories on the story, I don't think it's all Crowley and Aziraphale POV or completely their story. There's too much from everyone else to be quite like that.

~End me responding my own questions of original post~

Non-hair things:

This scene is fascinating. Crowley is terrified instantly. We've seen him terrified before but that included trying to stay composed nonetheless when it came to Hastur and Ligur and not being able to really run when Satan was coming. This context is different, and Crowley is caught completely off-guard, also unusual. Aziraphale had been confused and only took a step back when Gabriel asked to come in. Crowley doesn't have that chance, so he has to just instantly back away.

There is zero doubt in Crowley's head that this being is Gabriel with something having happened to him whereas earlier Aziraphale told Gabriel who knew someone who looked a lot like him. I mean, I'm sure Aziraphale was relatively sure himself, but he gave and acknowledged that inkling of doubt, that there could be something else.

Not Crowley though.

And even though Beelzebub later refers to the fly holding all of Gabriel's memories as "all your you", we know bare minimum there are some things in this being that Crowley, and only Crowley, was able to tap into. That "institutional problem" part sounded like a little bit of Gabriel's actual memory to me, no purple eyes needed for it either.

This scene continues with blocking and blurring for who is on screen. The characters interact but are blurred at times when supposedly on screen together. A lot of times only one of the characters is on screen, the audience left to assume it's because of distance and focus of who's talking or reacting. This entire scene is Aziraphale, Crowley, and Gabriel yet all three are never on screen at the same time. When Gabriel shows up, the blur switches between him and Crowley, ensuring both are not clear when we see them briefly in the same part of the scene together.

Tag: crowley s2 hair project

Crowley S2 Hair Project - Main Point of Reference for Sideburns

Crowley S2 Hair Post #10 (angry lightning walk

[rumoursfromines]

Sylvia Plath, born 1932, was an American poet, novelist, and diarist. She was extremely prolific writer and throughout her short life produced over 400 poems, a novel, several short stories, and many journals and letters. A lot of her work, especially her more famous works, deal with mental illness and what it was like to be an ambitious woman in an age where women couldn't even have their own credit cards.

Her biographical background, I think, is one of the things that make her relatable to modern audiences. Sylvia Plath had a complicated childhood. She lost her father at eight years old to illness and was raised by a chronically ill single mother who struggled financially. This pushed Plath to outperform all of her classmates and to start earning her own money by sending her poetry out to magazines from a young age. At the same time she lived a very fulfilled social life with plenty of friends and dates. She was also very upfront about not wanting to be reduced to a mother and housewife in her future, defying expectations for women in her day and age.

By all accounts, Sylvia Plath was an extremely interesting writer. However, with such a large selection of texts to choose from, it can be difficult to pick a place to start. Which is why I've decided to compile all of my Plath knowledge into this (hopefully somewhat complete) post. Below the cut you will find brief summaries of her important works sorted into different categories. Happy reading :)

Disclaimer: I've seen many people on social media be taken aback by some of the themes in Plath's work, especially the racism and the holocaust imagery present throughout her work. I feel like for some people this might be useful to know before they start to read. Plath was a white American writing in the 1950s, so common social attitudes will be reflected in her work. It's important not to internalise her own bigotry as you read. Keeping this in mind, I still think her work is worth your time and attention.

the basics:

Ariel is probably Plath's most famous poetry collection. It centers around the themes of gender, death, and rebirth. The first edition of this collection was published posthumously and edited by Plath's husband. The collection was restored to the order Plath originally intended poems to be in in 2005 and published with a preface written by Plath's daughter, Frieda Hughes.

The Bell Jar is Sylvia Plath's only published novel. It is a semi-autobiographical account of her 1953 New York internship with Mademoiselle, a lady's magazine. The main character, Esther Greenwood, is meant to be having the time of her life working for a fashion magazine in New York until things get too much for Esther to handle. A large chunk of the novel is dedicated to Esther's complicated recovery from depression.

the niche:

Three Women is both a poem and a radio play. It tells the stories of three women in a maternity ward, all handling their motherhood differently. It is included in the poetry collection Winter Trees.

The Colossus is the only poetry collection Plath published in her lifetime (so automatically the only one where she had full artistic control over the content of the book). The poems here discuss topics such as about death, trauma, belonging, and womanhood.

Crossing The Water is a poetry collection that was published posthumously, along with Winter Trees, by Plath's husband Ted Hughes. These collections contain the poetry Plath wrote in her last creative spurt before her death. CTW centers around the themes of womanhood, depression, and endings (do you sense a recurring theme?), whereas WT deals with family dynamics and motherhood.

the extra reading:

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath edited by Karen V. Kukil were published in the year 2000 and provide insight into Plath's inner life and context for a lot of her work, since much of it was inspired by events, be they important or insignificant, of her life. These journals range from 1953 up until 1959. The time between the last surviving journal until her death is covered by fragments, as Plath's very last journal was destroyed.

Red Comet by Heather Clark might be the single most detailed biography of Sylvia Plath on the market right now. It covers everything from her ancestors' immigration to the state, her parents' experiences in school, and the aftermath of Plath's death. It is definitely not a casual read (1000+ pages) but definitely worth it if you find yourself fascinated by Plath's work.

Pain, Parties, Work by Elizabeth Winder is a partial biography of Plath's time spent interning for Mademoiselle 1953. It paints an interesting picture of the writer, portraying her as a motivated young woman with a fulfilled social life who struggled with her mental health nonetheless. It's much shorter than Red Comet (<300 pages) and provides interesting an background for The Bell Jar.

Obviously there will always be more things by and about Sylvia Plath to read. Her letters, for example, have been released in two different editions: a two volume collection of the letters written throughout her life and another collection of letters written from England to America, edited by Plath's own mother, Aurelia Plath. I hope my little selection can help you find your way around Plath's bibliography. Happy reading :)

[shipwreck-letters]

hi sorry for disappearing for weeks i was hibernating

i just wanted 2 ask how you'd think the monster manor story would progress (like how'd the characters develop, how u think it'd end and what u think of the character that was teased but never released)

im kind of losing hope ab MM ending or even just having a good story because of the recent announcement adydhwnbehdisjcm

Long, long post incoming. I ramble a lot, my brain is like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. (I missed you, though! Nice to see you again! How have you been?) (Also swearing,,,swearing- Edit: There was much more swearing before I read over this and took out the Dorian shit, because I really wanna shake them by the shoulders and-)

I honestly think about this question ALL the time. And by the end of this, I do have an idea for an ending!!! It's down below. It's just a lot of rambling beforehand.

ERYTHEIAAAAAA- Am I spelling her name right?? She's really pretty, really strong, her character design speaks, but I wish we had more.

I don't have much I can really say about Erytheia, because I always get stuck on what Lynne said about "sounding like a Greek chorus" That always stops me from trying to write her myself, because ???? WHAT- I do not know enough about Greece, or Greek mythology, to even begin to do that. I am an Indigenous country bird. I feel so bad, though- Maybe I could try again and get back to you on that. No promises, though 😭😭😭 That would honestly, in my opinion, need to be something that maybe some more people can talk more about and come to an agreement on.

I wish we could get just one line, one sentence, one paragraph of dialogue or set-up. I miss her, and I only saw ONE sketch of her.

The way Sage's story took a crazy turn, and how he ended up 6 months during the new war; I would have never predicted that at ALL- So it's like,,,I wonder if a crazy twist would happen with MM-

But it doesn't seem like there would be a whole "Upright/Reversed" thing, because MC is clearly competent enough to not have Casimir or Rainier fall back into their vices again. That would be so dumb for them to establish this change, and then say "haha whoopsie yes Casimir become the beast- Yes Rainier, break out and raise hell as a dragon on Earth" like,,,that would be dumb-

I'm talking out of my ass, I think, because Casimir and Rainier aren't my OCs, but it seemed like we already met them during their arc? During that time of change and sadness, and hopefully it would be a story of change for the future.

Surrounded by people that are in the same boat as him, he'd have a new focus on getting to know these people, MC, and have an outlook of fixing these rooms, sharing his story and his own knowledge about things! Getting to know them, too. Maybe his curse was like a self-fulling prophecy, because the only times he transformed with MC is under intense stress or emotions. He never transformed when Rainier lost control, he was perfectly fine.

So I think...Casimir's rooms/arc were semi-complete during those chapters, and that tale. In general, very very very general. It gave me enough to hypothesize, and Rainier is the same. But...Still not enough. It's not Lynne-approved, Lynne-directed, Lynne please come back and swipe your story-

Maybe during these times, he'd have a few transformations that he can't help. He'd be really nervous, because now he has access to hurt others, not just himself or the House. But but but- I think....that MC or Rainier or maybe even Erytheia stands up to the beast enough times that it starts to change. It begins to go away, and Casimir doesn't even realize- He still has the traits, and the abilities that comes with it, but I think that Casimir wouldn't even realize until MC mentions the beast and someone is like "you transform?" and Casimir is like "....Now that you mention it-"

I think it would come to a head with MC, honestly- This character that is unwavering, the glue that holds everything together...There's gotta be a moment where they're like "Well now everyone is together, I guess my job is done here" But they try to leave and it's like,,,,No, actually. MC deserves to be cared for, as well. They (you, the reader, too) need reassurance and repair beyond just being looked at as the fixer-upper, the sunlight-

I think once MC has a moment where they realize for a moment that they can also accept that this home isn't just for the characters, but for them, too- They can stay, or go, maybe with Casimir to the modern world, or with Rainier to Almithara, but there will always be a home, here, a refuge.

That's what it was always meant to be, right? I think that would be an ending that I would like to see, anyway. Not too personal, not too vague, but being able to leave or stay with the character(s) you romance, augh. I want to see Rainier's home, I want to show Casimir the world 🎶, I also want the fade to black scene I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT-

It wouldn't be chaotic crazy like LL, where there's war or death, but those topics do come up in terms of Casimir's past, or Rainier's jobs regarding the Magister. But the past is not an end-all-be-all, and the House was meant to be a place where you can get help, be helped, and then be let go again. (I think- It had to be, no way did the House intend to just keep them there forever)

Casimir couldn't leave, because he couldn't see that. Rainier couldn't (can't) leave, because he couldn't (can't) see that. With a group of different minds, it's a cycle of helping each other, helping yourself, and also....Being able to romance or have a great friend and support because of that.

That's what I think, anyway. If I was a Fictif Ambassador (which I do not ever want to be tbh), I wouldn't have much to say regarding any completed stories, or even Into the Mist, but for Monster Manor? I fully believe that's a good ending. That's what I would bring, and I will milly rock someone for saying it needs to be darker, or grittier, or whatever.

I know that it would be different, working under such harsh conditions, and Dorian....Ugh. What a shitshow.

What was the point of the whole Ambassador roles, they approved the Asra tale??? That was so lackluster- Who wrote and approved that shit- I just want to talk, Dorian.

There's still much that I want answered and it makes my eye twitch that Dorian is pulling this horseshit buffonery...

But I might do that in another post. Here's a little brightness that I've been thinking about lately:

Bendy and the Ink Machine. The Dark Revival. It came back! It's so fantastic, it's beautiful. I hope that LL and MM can get the same treatment- A revival. A good ending to beautiful concepts and aesthetics. Sage, Anisa, Felix, Casimir, Rainier, Erytheia, and even Fin- They fucking deserve it. Maybe the devs can bring them back, slightly redesigned, with a different name, but ultimately the same plot and vibe.

I won't ever "drop" Monster Manor, it's gotten me through some stuff, and still does! It brought me Finch, it brought me friends and a fandom! I owe it a lot, and I hope we can see it to a completed end.

But...Do make sure to record the story, screenshot it, what have you. Prepare to prepare, is what my uncle says about tough situations.