#XAN THIS WAS SO CRUEL

[vcrnons]

hi i love fueling delusional vernon ideas so i can imagine vernon going around shortless in board shorts and he's SO oblivious to how hot he is he just thinks people are looking at him weird because he's got a giant surfboard with him but ajgdiwhsowhdosjele i need to think about him trying to do a double thumbs up and smiling at a camera before wiping out because he stopped paying attention like an idiot to balance this out i'm going to be cataonic over him help

HEY NOW

hey so this was beyond uncalled for & i’m literally biting through my pillow right now😭

because. because why am i now sitting here completely DUMB on my sunday night thinking about watching the sunset at the beach with this absolute loser in his unbuttoned shirt and little short shorts!!! a little bit sunburnt on the bridge of his nose!!!! music playing quietly on his phone that’s sitting in the sand between the two of you but you’re just listening to the sounds of the sea and he’s!! slowly!!! reaching over!!!!! to hook ur fingers together!!!!! and smiling to himself!!! as he watches the waves crash onto the sand!!!! at the end of a long summer dancing around each other and he finally makes his move im going!!!! to scream now!!!!! really loudly!!!!!

[kuruna]

anyways 🫶🏾 I will talk about my own OC because god granted me the power to do so

Had a Big realization about Xanthos which is like... I already knew he struggles with guilt Big Time, but I didn't realize just to what extent that guilt informs his each and every action 💔 after an event in which AZ gets badly hurt, Xan starts taking on the "leader" role in their dynamic due to guilt and fear of getting AZ hurt again. When AZ is king, that same guilt affects their dynamic, but now that they're both adults Xan's overprotective nature feels belittling, and it is in a lot of ways. Xan starts doing a lot of the duties of king because he feels that AZ isn't handling them the way he should (which isn't Entirely untrue, it's a big job for someone with little experience in diplomacy to take on), but also because this dynamic has morphed in a way where Xanthos thinks his older brother is Incapable. At its core, the war was a very extreme way of Xan going "I don't think you should do this on your own. Why would you allow ME to handle it instead?!"

It becomes an ironic thing 💔 Xanthos' fear about hurting his brother again leads to him hurting AZ in the worst possible ways. And that sense of guilt only grows stronger 😔 Xan is incapable of asking for help, or being honest about himself and his needs. He's incapable of admitting when he is wrong and incapable of relinquishing control, and all of it comes from now incredibly Guilty he feels all the time and a need to constantly be making up for this guilt as well as his perceived failures as a person. Basically he's sooooooooo so so so sick 💔💔💔

[sovonight]

bg2, ust natha

—

Radri: Xan… are you alright?

Xan: "Am I alright"? How can you find the words to ask such a question, given where we are?

Xan: Being trapped beneath the ocean was terrible enough, but we have escaped that confinement only to be doomed in the Underdark. We are surrounded by drow who may discover and kill us at any moment. I have not seen the sky in far too many days.

Xan: No. No, I am not "alright".

Radri, tentative: Perhaps, there is still a way…

She offers him her hand, thinking there's at least one thing she can do for him—but Xan turns away from her.

Xan: I cannot, Radri. Not while my reflection is not my own… not while I will wake only to see the Underdark's ceiling above us, a barrier from the sun and the stars.

She tells herself this makes sense, but that can't stop a sharp spike of rejection from piercing her heart. Xan doesn't even flinch; he can't feel her, anymore. That, more than his lack of reaction, plunges her heart further into pain.

Radri: …Okay.

Radri: I'm sorry, Xan. I'll get us out of here, soon. I promise.

Xan, tired, empty: Save your promise, Estel'amin. There is no point.

—

She is still awake when Xan slips, at last, into reverie. Xan is curled up on the bed beside her, his back to the wall, his face partially concealed by the uneven barrier of his bent arms, the whole of him arranged to escape notice. It takes her a moment to dissect the sense of unease she feels at seeing this, and realizes that eerily, she thinks this is how she found him in Mulahey's lair.

It has been a long time since she has felt so helpless to comfort him. Seeing him, yet not being able to feel him, makes her feel like she's back in the past, when they were tentative lovers, and before that friends, and before that strangers. Perhaps their connection was always meant to be brief; perhaps she will never feel him again.

She turns her face to the side, letting her tears soak into her pillow. No, she can't get lost in those thoughts—when one is tired, one no longer thinks clearly, and when she wakes in the morning, everything will surely feel better. Trying to ignore the terrifying, heavy weight that she has carried into the Underdark, she closes her eyes and tries her hardest to focus on brighter times.

—

When she wakes, she half expects to see the inn's wooden ceiling above her, and a pit forms in her stomach when she sees the dark, spidery architecture of Ust Natha spread out above her instead. Her hand is empty, as is the room; a familiar ache fills her heart, but there is no one there to feel it.

She jumps at the sound of the door opening, ready to school her expression into something—well—meaner, but it is only Xan.

Radri: Oh—You surprised me.

She wonders if he catches the disappointed lilt in her voice—and wonders if she wants to hide it. Xan does not react.

Xan: The others are prepared to leave.

Radri: …And you?

Xan: Little else is more torturous than lingering in this place, waiting to be discovered. I am eager to leave, as well. If you are ready…

She isn't. But she doesn't need to be an enchanter to read the mood: everyone is antsy, uncomfortable, discontent, like Xan. As terrified as she is of playing the role of Veldrin, she must.

Radri: Just give me a moment.

She delivers the words with a reflexive smile, which Xan only stares at for a moment, before he steps forward and brushes a thumb down the corner of her lips, guiding her smile back into nothingness.

Xan, quietly, reminding: A false smile of this kind has no purpose here.

Despite knowing that it's only to ensure their safety, she can't help but feel relief that he's still willing to touch her.

Radri: Any more advice for my new role?

Xan: (sigh) This may be the only moment in which I think, "if only Viconia were here."

Xan: All I can suggest is to follow their orders, stay out of their notice, and speak only as needed.

Radri, joking, self-deprecating: Ah, my specialty.

Xan gives her a sadder look.

Xan: It is only temporary, Estel'amin...

Radri, quiet: Yes... everything is.

—

(The memory she visits in reverie is this one. Xan had shown her the stars in reverie when they were blocked in the waking world, and she had hoped to do the same.)

[tgel]

animal death mention

our last rat passed away . its been so hard these past year losing them . I'm gonna go replay da:o and try not to keep crying .

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Gelid (Geo x My/Any MC/Reader) (Part 1/2)

TO ALL THE MANDIVIDUALS AND TO THE ANONS FROM ALL THE PLANES, I GIFT YOU PART 1/2 FOR A GEO x MC FIC.

A/N: So, essentially I'm an indecisive little bitch and couldn't choose whether to make this an 'x my MC' or an 'x reader', so it's written from the POV and mentality of my MC (Xan), but altered so that it can be read by (hopefully) any MC. :D

This is an original work, made and thought up entirely by me.

Part 2 Link: Torrid (Part 2)

You'll all get to fuck Brugmansia.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Gelid: icy; extremely cold.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

The zephyrs were frigid, the fiery autumn leaves peppered the sepia soils of the park. 

It felt soothing, in a cruel way.

The sharp prongs of twigs jammed into your thighs, the packed soil under you felt as if it had been frozen in an icebox for weeks. Yet the discomfort held a small sense of familiarity. After all, you lived on a farm with weather and terrain similar to this, did you not?

Around you, the wind blew sharply, making the leaves rustle like a soft symphony. Despite the cold biting at your skin, there was something strangely comforting about the scene, almost like a bittersweet lullaby.

As you sat there, feeling the twigs prick your skin and the frozen ground beneath you, memories of your childhood on the farm flooded back. The similarity of the surroundings brought a sense of belonging, even amidst the discomfort.

What wasn’t familiar, however, was the feelings that a gelid soul would bring upon you. A frigid heart whose drumbeat and rhythm dictated your every move. A man of such enigmatic origins, a stoic face and a vehemently cold attitude was all you saw within the late autumn landscapes. 

His wind-swept hair amidst the falling leaves…

His piercing turquoise eyes against the darkening sky…

His concentrated, purposeful gaze as he aimed for a bullseye among the many crows who seemed to eye you insatiably.

As if they knew how little time you had left.

The silence around the grounds was deafening, with the exceptions being the chilling, suffocating grasp that the gradually-strengthening winds held over your vulnerable, light-clothed body.

You shivered, trying to ignore the warnings your body was screaming at you. To warm up, to go home, to at least get a coffee until the winds died down.

But you, as usual, neglected them. You chose your bitter self-disgust over self-preservation. Wanting to feel the touch of winter, yet becoming almost immobile at the graze of autumn.

It was pathetic. 

You were pathetic.

And you bet your soul he knew it too.

A tear fell from the sky, then a second, then ten more.

Even the cloudy skies - the shattered greys against the white cracks - were weeping over you.

Over how defenceless you felt. How you weakly cradled your legs against your shuddering torso, the gusts whipping your back and raking its wintry claws across your numb face.

It was too much. 

Being sent down to a school seen as a second home for the alleged stupid and societally inferior, being indebted to a man whose intent held more poison in his coal-black heart than a taipan’s venom…and most of all?

These stupid feelings you held for a guy you knew would never look at you the way you wished.

Of all people, your heart selected the one it could never have.

Maybe that was fate’s way of making humour out of you.

Your body kept agonising itself, its ornery, fearful demands for heat were getting more vicious and demanding. 

You were being selfish, you knew it. But was it so wrong to want to focus on the ache of your body, rather than the gaping hole within your restless heart?

You used to snort and roll your eyes when people stated the sheer brutality of heartbreak, or the alleged pain that arose from how people knew their ‘crush’ would squish their heart into a bloodless pulp; leaving it exsanguinated and cold, numb to the colours and sounds of the earth.

You now understand. 

You understand the grief and pain you now wish you never had to feel. If you could’ve unpunched that stupid fucking kid and never gotten expelled, you’d have never seen…him.

Never felt your heart squeeze and skip every time you laid eyes upon him.

His beautiful face, his pallid skin—anything with him made you feel fuzzy and warm, so unlike him.

You brushed against his hand once, felt the frigidity of it, its slender structure, its size. 

You hated the cold, resented the feeling of your body constantly shuddering for warmth even when you were snuggled under layers of blankets and clothes.

Yet you touched winter himself, and you couldn’t get enough.

Now you sit in the midst of a rainstorm, small spheres of ice pelting your skull, as if God himself was trying to tell you to leave.

You didn’t. You knew you would never feel winter’s caress again, so you may as well feel its slap. No matter how much it stung.

Something hot trickled down your numb cheek, searing the cold skin with a sudden, brief burst of warmth.

Even the broken shards of the sky were a source of sorrowful comfort for you.

You and your hurting heart. 

Another hot droplet slipped down the icy rink that your face had become, your body serving as an immovable statue; the chills had long since usurped control over you. 

Your heart pounded, trying to pump warm red blood into your glacial, pale flesh; the onslaught of parky, frozen tears falling alongside the sheer brutality and strength of the wind-whips. Through their alliance, you remain covered under the overbearing weight of boreal blankets and sharp sheets of winters’ hiemal essence. 

“MC.”

You froze, your despair placed on a sudden hold as you temporarily ceased your despondencies.

You knew that voice.

Of all times…why does he have to see me like this now?!

You shut your eyes, praying that he wouldn’t approach you. 

Alas, like you expected, he did.

“What the fuck are you doing.”

You didn’t respond. Hell, you fucking couldn’t. The words all slipped from your mind as soon as his regal face came into view.

Your heart started pounding harder, almost as hard as the intensity of his gaze was; his icy blue eyes analysing you, seeing through you, through all your woes.

Surveying how stupid you looked, probably.

His face was taut, steely, gelid.

“Look at me.”

His voice sounded strained, maybe even a smidge melancholy. With trepidation, and a twinge of guilt, your eyes met his.

He knelt down in front of your huddled form, his hand gingerly cupped your frozen cheek, smearing your searing tears across it with his hand - the one that yours briefly grazed against. His other one seemed to be occupied with putting his signature violet hoodie on you, his cold hands now brushing against your body, tugging the soft garment down so it would cover as much of you as it could.

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

He swiftly scooped your numb, shivering body up, his voice laced with an ornery concern and, if your throbbing ears were to be believed, fear.

You were so dazed you didn’t even register your head was pressed against Geo’s thumping heart.

You had to force yourself to not instinctively lean into his chest, to try and glide your flopping hand across his torso, tracing any ridges in his flesh.

Why, despite possibly being on the verge of death, do you solely ponder what his torso would feel like?

Perhaps I’m simply too lucid to function.

You let your head relax against his forearm, the firm flesh serving as a pillow for your head, his body bobbing up and down as he moved, slowly coaxing you further and further into a blissful, serene nap. 

Alas, as you felt his heart pound against your ear, you felt a surge of heat flush into your body. Endless waves of summer’s scorching rays tearing through your body, slowly chipping at the rapidly-diminishing chills that had been wracking your dangling body.

“‘m sleepy…” 

Your voice was soft, fatigued, exhausted. Within your darkening peripherals you saw Geo’s face go slack with…panic?

No, he’s not the type to panic over such subtleties…especially not over me.

“Look at me! MC, MC, c’mon!”

Your head doesn’t move. Hell, it can’t. No part of you can.

You feel unbearably hot, as if your body was being steamed in a red-hot vat of tungsten.

You can’t comprehend much other than the heat, but you notice the stark absence of the broken grey sky; your eyes resting on a sleek black mass. 

Maybe it’s Geos’ car…epic.

“I…feel…hot.”

You mumbled, the urge to remove your garments becoming increasingly stronger with each passing moment. Unfortunately, you couldn’t even move, much less remove your clothes.

But goddamnit you were fucking melting!

You felt limp, your figure now flaccidly slumping on a cold seat, before your head was moved to face Geos’.

“MC, whatever you do, don’t fall asleep, stay awake for me okay?”

His voice sounded fraught and tense, yet still held its soft, quiet authority. One you were willing to do God-knows-what for.

Two frore palms left your face, and you mourned the chill, wanting him to sap away all the stifling heat that had wrapped its fingers around your lungs and heart.

You peeped down at your wraith-like hands, the white a blinding contrast to the dark of the cushioning. Your head again falls slack against the plush seat and you barely manage to turn your head towards the window.

You wanted to see Geo, gaze upon him, see his ethereality under the incandescent lights of the vehicle, but you knew he wouldn’t approve.

Why did he even carry me…why is he trying to save me? I’m trying to fucking kill him…his life is in my hands, and he’s saving me.

Yellows, ambers and red lights all flashed across the glass like fluorescent bulbs, your eyes barely distinguishing where they came from or where they vanished off to. Your vision was still getting darker, and you felt hotter than an egg in a frying pan.

Soon enough, the fiery lights faded, as did the remainder of your sight.

You only felt the blazing heat inside your skin, clinging to your appendages and clawing at your cooked brain.

“‘m sor…ry…Geo.”

The final thing you recalled before succumbing to the temperature was you slouching forward, your head smacking against your knees.

[moonselune]

hey hey!! Was wondering if you’d be okay writing a drabble of Shadowheart x Lae’zel and their little hatchling Xan? Like it’s the ass crack of dawn and we hear noises in their little cottage, and both Shad and Lae find li’l Xan (who is, what? Five years old maybe at this point) try to haul Lae’zel’s big ass silver sword and Shadowheart’s big ass shield and armor that is literally draping on him, attempting to leave early to not get in trouble and show to kids at school so they will like him cause they make fun of him :(. Maybe a little heart to heart from Lae’zel or Shadowheart?

Why did I get more emotional writing this than I did for the dead Tav request oof-

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowzel + Lil baby Xan (He's 5) | Am I strong enough yet?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The first light of dawn filtered through the curtains of the cozy cottage, casting a soft glow over the room. Shadowheart and Lae'zel stirred from their slumber, the quiet stillness of the morning broken by a series of clumsy thuds and muffled grunts. They exchanged a look, curiosity and concern mingling in their eyes.

Silently, they slipped out of bed, moving towards the source of the noise. As they approached the living room, the sight that greeted them made their hearts ache and swell with love all at once. Their five-year-old little hatchling, Xan, was struggling to drag Lae'zel's massive silver sword across the floor. Shadowheart's oversized shield was strapped to his back, and he was attempting to don her armor, which hung off his small frame like an ill-fitting costume.

Xan's face was scrunched in determination, his little arms straining with the effort. He grumbled to himself as he tried to lift the sword, which was clearly too heavy for him. Shadowheart's heart twisted at the sight, a mixture of pride and sadness welling up within her.

"Xan," Shadowheart called softly, stepping into the room.

Xan froze, his eyes wide with a mix of guilt and fear. He dropped the sword with a loud clang and turned to face his mothers. "M-morning, Mama, Ma," he stammered, trying to look innocent despite the evidence around him.

Lae'zel crossed her arms, her gaze stern but not unkind. "What are you doing, little one?" she asked, her voice carrying that familiar edge of authority.

Xan shuffled his feet, his head hanging low. "I… I wanted to take your sword and armor to school," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "The kids… they make fun of me. They say I'm not strong or brave like you. I thought… if I showed them your things, they might like me."

Shadowheart's expression softened, and she knelt down to be at eye level with her son. "Xan, you don't need to carry our weapons to prove your worth," she said gently, reaching out to cup his cheek. "You are already strong and brave in your own way."

Lae'zel stepped closer, her stern demeanor melting as she looked at her son. She placed a hand on his shoulder, her grip firm yet comforting. "Strength is not just in the weapons we wield, but in the heart and mind," she said. "True strength comes from within, and you have that, Xan. Never doubt it."

Xan's eyes welled up with tears, and he sniffled. "But… they make fun of me," he repeated, his voice trembling. "They say I'm weak."

Shadowheart pulled him into a tight embrace, her heart aching at his words. "People can be cruel, my sweet," she said softly. "But their words do not define you. You are loved, and you are valued, no matter what anyone says."

Lae'zel crouched down beside them, her eyes fierce with a protective light. "If anyone dares to mock you again, you stand tall and proud," she instructed. "Show them that you are a warrior's child. And if they do not see your worth, they are not worth your time."

Xan looked up at his mothers, his tears drying as he absorbed their words. "But… what if they keep making fun of me?" he asked hesitantly.

Lae'zel exchanged a glance with Shadowheart, a silent understanding passing between them. "Then we will teach you to defend yourself," Lae'zel said firmly. "Not with our weapons, but with your own strength and courage."

Shadowheart nodded in agreement. "And we will always be here for you, no matter what," she added. "You are never alone, Xan."

Xan's expression brightened, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Thank you, Mama. Thank you, Ma," he said, hugging them both tightly.

Shadowheart kissed his forehead, her heart swelling with love. "Now, let's put these back where they belong," she suggested gently, gesturing to the discarded sword and armor.

Lae'zel ruffled Xan's hair affectionately. "And perhaps we can find a smaller sword for you to practice with," she added, a hint of pride in her voice.

Xan's eyes lit up with excitement. "Really?" he exclaimed.

"Really," Lae'zel confirmed with a nod. "But remember, true strength comes from within. Always."

As they guided Xan back to their room, the warmth of their love and support surrounded him, a comforting shield against the world's cruelty. Together, they faced the new day, their bond stronger than ever.

BONUS:

"Shadowheart, calm yourself," Lae'zel said, her voice steady despite the tension in the air. "Becoming enraged will not solve anything."

Shadowheart turned to her, her eyes blazing with determination. "But those children, they deserve to learn respect," she insisted, her fists clenched at her sides.

Lae'zel sighed softly, stepping closer to her beloved. "And they will, in time," she replied calmly. "But teaching them a lesson with violence is not the answer."

Shadowheart looked at her incredulously. "How can you be so calm about this?" she asked, frustration evident in her voice. "They insult our son, belittle him..."

Lae'zel placed a comforting hand on Shadowheart's arm, her touch gentle yet firm. "I may or may not have slipped a githyanki dagger into Xan's school bag," she confessed with a sly grin.

Shadowheart blinked in surprise, her anger momentarily forgotten as she processed Lae'zel's words. "You what?" she asked, a mixture of shock and amusement crossing her features.

Lae'zel shrugged nonchalantly. "It's a deterrent," she explained casually. "No harm will come to Xan, but those who seek to harm him might think twice."

Shadowheart couldn't help but chuckle at Lae'zel's protective instincts, despite her earlier reservations. "You are impossible," she murmured affectionately, pulling Lae'zel into a warm embrace.

"And yet, you love me," Lae'zel replied with a smirk, leaning down to kiss Shadowheart tenderly.

Shadowheart sighed contentedly against her lips, the tension of the morning slowly dissipating. "I do," she whispered, her voice filled with love and gratitude.

[fairune]

Xanthos aka AZ's little brother aka Lysandre's ancestor aka the guy who tried to throw a coup d'etat in Ancient Kalos but failed which ended up leading to war. Sad! I wanted to try doing "official" art for him even tho I'm not that good at imitating official art... Tho I think I did a decent job here 😭

Some extra info under the cut (tw for mentions of a sui/cide attempt and drowning)

Xanthos' team... I wanted his team to be similar to AZ in that it's all "ancient" Pokemon, so he has an aegislash (very old possessed sword), a relicanth (a pokemon once thought extinct!) and a shiny Golurk... AZ created the golett that later evolved into this Golurk. Btw.

After the war was ended, AZ entrusted Xanthos to restoring Kalos... (I say entrusted because that's the word AZ used too, but it was more like "Xan wasn't given any other choice" 😭 I like AZ being a sympathetic character who still did some objectively cruel things if that wasn't obvious). And so, Xanthos became king... It would've been exciting for him to get what he had wanted all along, but Kalos was completely ravaged. He did what he could to help restore Kalos, but... It wasn't enough. Kalos' enters a dark age during this period, and doesn't see stability again for many, Many years.

AZ during this time period was in Hoenn. To be blunt he had attempted to drown himself, not realizing he was immortal And undying at that point. He spends a very lengthy amount of time at sea before eventually washing up on the shores of Hoenn 😱 he ends up forming a life for himself over there as a wood cutter... This is where he picks up his torkoal, too.

Xanthos had three sons of his own at some point. The oldest son is the one whose lineage continues into Lysandre. The second son is whose lineage established Parfum Palace later on. And the youngest son had a lineage that immigrated to Paldea at some point. In modern times, Lucerne, a descendant of the youngest son, was adopted by the late owners of Parfum Palace.

[makeshiftstory]

I'm now fully back in action now that the plug piece for the connector fits the Laptop (Astrid be a very cruel creature at times). Here's the freebie piece in full glory for @azirtheshark ! This will be coming up in the 'Changes' Comic pretty soon, I'm excited to draw Xan the Grasshopper, they're just so much fun to draw and we need more insects.

[arwainian]

re: the post i rbed about "ooh im so cool and edgy and taboo" people being unable to handle the idea of a polyamorous fat person engaging in kink

i was a recommended by the algorithm a shitty youtube video the other day that was like "whoa i found the WOKEST book?? and it sucks!!" (shitty person making shitty video. probably exactly the type of person described above. did not click it.)

but i recognized the book from the cover in the thumbnail. i'd read it before and didn't like it all the much, but here is the thing: it was a self-published romance book about two metamours (poly people dating the same person but not each other), who were fat and disabled and did kink with their mutual partner, and the book was about the two of them falling in love with each other while planning that partner's birthday! i did not like that book all that much, i did not think it was particularly well written, but i loved that it was There! because fat disabled transgender polyamorous people dont have love stories told about them, and that set up was so sweet and creative and it just struck me as so deeply cruel to mock that book for expressing that authentic experience

especially because i know the author is dead. and i remember the mourning for them. that in hearing people recommend and praise their works it was maybe the first time in my life i had heard of a romance writer unequivocally proclaiming that fat people love and were loved, and that disabled people- even those who could not get out of bed at all- love and were loved, and that their works had been that same monumental first for so many of the people mourning them. i dont put a lot of stock in the idea that romance is a revolutionary or liberatory genre, but Xan West/Corey Alexander was writing for an audience that very very few people in that space do and the space they were carving out was important.

[moonperished]

Lee Kitae: A Playlist

Second Hand Love - Cassadee Pope

"My heart has no pride standing here Good thing I can take the tears Sew you up as I'm tearing at the seams It's so good yeah while it lasts Go ahead and strike the match Burn me down make ashes out of me I breathe you in, breathe you in, like my first cigarette Breathe you out, breathe you out, turning off the regret Don't worry baby cause it's all my fault I'll take the parts that she doesn't want Breathe you in, breathe you in, take the spark with the smoke Breathe you out, breathe you out, feel the rush as I choke I know it's worth it baby even if it's just secondhand, secondhand love"

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

"In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool When you jumped in first, I went in too I'm with you even if it makes me blue Which takes me back To the color that we painted your brother's wall Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so Kiss you once 'cause I know you had a long night Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright Three times 'cause you waited your whole life I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings"

Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift

"So cut the headlights, summer's a knife I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know I'm drunk in the back of the car And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh) Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh) And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

Violet Chemistry - Miley Cyrus

"Stay awhile, stay awhile with me Stay awhile, don't deny the violet chemistry Stay awhile, stay awhile with me Stay awhile, put your arms around me Put them around me Fingers start to dance along the figures and the shapes Mixing all the colors like we're making a Monet There's something between us that's too major to ignore May not be eternal but nocturnal nothing more"

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) - Taylor Swift

"They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new Hell Every time you double-cross my mind You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine And that made me want to die The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you Not weeping in a party bathroom Some actress asking me what happened, you That's what happened, you You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes Sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one""

Mamacita - Chase Atlantic

"Kind face with a cruel heart She can do it better than a pornstar She don’t carry no more xan bars She can work that product on her lonesome Look her in the eyes and go insane She been kicking shit, get out the fucking way She can take away all of the pain MAMACITA there is nothing left to say"

Call it What You Want To - Taylor Swift

"And I know I make the same mistakes every time Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right I did one thing right I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night My baby's fit like a daydream Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to"

[kuruna]

even if it's interesting to maybe 2 people max i Still must AZ and Xanthos post... anyways i figured out how Xan learns about AZ still being Alive maybe a hundred or two years after the war TW for near drowning + mention of parental death !

To start with... I think in the years following the Ultimate Weapon, AZ ended up living in Hoenn due to events that are too convoluted to explain rn 💕 ORAS implies that AZ has some kind of connection to Rayquaza but doesn't elaborate on it more than that. But I decided that he sorta formed an obsession with it after a dramatic encounter .... some day i would like to draw it. Meanwhile. Well to put it bluntly Xan is straight up not having a good time. due to a series of events he ends up nearly drowning (he can't die due to his immortality, but being kind of immobile while just kinda deep in the ocean is still a bit of a terrifying experience to have). A relicanth ends up saving him, though. he ends up being brought to what is in modern day Sootopolis City.

While he's here just kind of resting up, a stranger comes to him like "Hey that's funny 😋 you look pretty similar to a strange man who used to live near here." and this of course gets Xan's attention despite the fact that he should be trying to recover he immediately gets all excitable. He starts asking a million questions... And of course as he gets his answers he just starts feeling a mix of shock and anger.

And so, some time later, he starts to actively seek AZ out... going from place to place, asking if anyone has seen a strange man with brown hair and his same nose shape. And eventually he does find him...

... Unsurprisingly. This encounter goes very, very horribly 😭 an angry conversation turns into just straight up wailing on one another. Both of them end up saying some cruel things they don't actually mean to one another...

At this point in time AZ sorta unfairly blames Xan for not only Floette's but their mother's death too (she passed of an illness sometime during the war 😔). Xan already blamed himself for these things on his own- another blow to his already incredible sense of shame and guilt. on the other side of it, Xan, king of Repressing His Own Feelings, found AZ's incredible grief inconceivable. This just confirmed something AZ always thought, which is that at no point in time did Xan ever make an effort to actually understand him despite them being family. That Xan at best found him to be an inconvenience, or something to use to further himself along.

AZ knows that Xan would never have done something to harm Floette or their mother, but his anger doesn't let him acknowledge that. Xan feels the same awful grief that AZ does, but his pride and repression doesn't allow him to acknowledge that.

In the modern day... these are topics they tend to avoid with one another 😭 how do you apologize for something like that? Would it even matter? Would it change anything? They're only able to finally be open about it after visiting their mother's grave together... (Before this Floette had been like "will you two PLEAAAASSEEE just be open with one another the whole keeping secrets thing is what led to problems to begin with")

While I'm at it here's an image I made re: their mother and her death i got too embarrassed to post a few weeks ago

[sovonight]

things to say when your fiance finds out she’s a bhaalspawn:

oh no

i’m sorry

this doesn’t change anything, i still love you

things not to say when your fiance finds out she’s a bhaalspawn:

*unprompted recital of the prophecy that seals her doom*

“chaos shall be sown through their passage.” a very eloquent description, don't you think?

so would you prefer killing your siblings, or simply bringing death and destruction to the land?

wait where are you going

[inevitable-pretty-chaos]

Okay, so... here's the promised post about my species, yaay!!

[Have in mind that I will write a few little thing ms about my lore –> my dimension-related experiences, but ai won't explain everything, because of various reasons.]

So, let's start!

I am sure about one thing about my species – I literally have no idea who I am. /hj Long story short – I have an amnesia and I don't remember a lot, ha. No, seriously, I can describe my species very well. But who am I, what is the name of my species? I want to know, but, eh, I can't gain that knowledge now.

Let's start with the general description or, shortly: what do I look like?

So I have fair skin, black curly hair, freckles, purple eyes... I changed my appearance in the headspace to feel more comfortable and in my dimension I was similar, but different. I won't fully describe here my general appearance in the dimension, because it it's just not important. What's important is that I literally looked like a human. Maybe a weird human since I had straight, medium long hair with a gray color that faded smoothly to white, forming some kind of streaks. And I had a very dark eyes. But at the beginning I was no different from the human being.

But later I discovered my second form. And it changed everything.

So, my second form is similar to my normal one. What's different then? Well, in that form I have claws made of some kind of metal that I can easily retract, completely black eyes, and sharp teeth, because yes, I forgot to mention, in every form my teeth are all sharp and fang-like. And in that form it's easier to use my powers. But about it later.

And what's my behavior? What can I do?

Oh, well, considering only species-related behavior... Hm, sometimes I act like a cat. I like to sleep many hours or hunt. But it's not so important. What's more important? Hm, I love to bite others. And scratch things around me. And, in my dimension... I probably eat flesh and blood. I hunted other beings using my claws, teeth and powers and let's just said that I was cruel. I hiss at others when I'm annoyed or angry. I love to spend my time in a completely darkness. I can see well in the dark. I am fast. I'm not the strongest one in my dimension, but because of my magic, I'm very powerful. And I'm very connected to the night and the darkness. It also looks like I'm kinda a shapeshifter?? But I can only turn completely or not into a smoke or a smoke-related liquid. And as a smoke I can float. That's it, I guess.

Ah, finally, about my powers or magic, whatever it's called.

I have two types of magic and a few abilities related to them.

One of the powers looks like black smoke, it can only change form into liquid. I was born/created with this power. Its main use is defense. Mainly because it is very poisonous not only in liquid form, because then it turns into poison and kills, but also as smoke, because then it destroys body tissues. It is directly related to the darkness and my dimension and because of it I have one ability related to the Neutrals –> animal-like beings from my dimension.

Oh, so what are the Neutrals, hm?? They're made of the darkness similar to mine and of the fragments of the souls of the beings from my dimension and a few selected humans from this dimension. They can look like a smoke with shining fragments, but they can change their shapes to any animal they want. They contains the memories of a dead person and their souls are able to heal others. And, of course, they act and think like animals and have similar inteligence.

So what about my ability??

It looks like I can control them and put them inside my body. So my body kinda contains Neutrals. I know, weird. I can use the Neutrals for defense or just to heal myself or others by copying soul fragments and making solutions from them.

My other magic is really... different.

I wasn't born/created with it, so I xan say it was a punishment/reward/experiment or whatever else. It was, it is... too powerful for my body and I guess that's why I was sick all the time in my dimension, but that's another story. This magic looks like a galaxy. And it's sooo pretty! It’s not related to the darkness, but it can do awesome things. I can change the form of it. It can be a smoke, liquid or have solid form. It's not dangerous at all or at least I don't know anything about it. I can turn it into anything I want, create different spells with it and generally it's very useful.

And I think it’s all?? I could, of course, write more about my lore, but it's very complicated and I still have an amnesia and I just simply wanted to write something about my species.

You all, of course, ask questions in the comments or asks or wherever you want.

Oh and here's a very old drawing of a Neutral made by Wren!!

~Nyx

[entropy-mephit]

More disjointed pieces I just felt like writing, thrown out into internet because what good it does, rotting in my files.

Ternell is beautiful in a way that only a young being full of hope can and Xan can feel his heart ache. The fey eyes shine like gems in innocent delight, emerald and amethyst, unaware of what dark meaning they reflect. The laughter of innocence rings loudly as Ternell twirls, the teal ribbons trailing in the air in a confusing whirlwind. The intellect underneath this childish facade hasn’t had time for the cruel field to get forged into cynicism but with the enemies on their heels, Xan has no doubts Ternell will have to mature soon enough. He can only pray that the pain of change won’t kill the boundless kindness this child has.

Ternell splashes water around, sending the glistening droplets to hang in the air just like their hair trail weightlessly. It is a thing of wonder, this constant denial of gravity. Symbolic, in how Ternell refuses to be weighed down by reality. But they would never frolic like that on the battlefield. Their mind was blessedly pure. Despite all that happened. Ternell is a breathtaking wonder. Xan wants to wield his Moonblade with lethal force against anyone threatening this little wonder. To use his magic in ways bordering with war crimes and rewrite the minds of anyone who would wish them harm. He will do anything he could to protect this kid. And wasn’t that madness of its own kind? For so long Xan was the first and foremost clever survivor, keeping his path straight and narrow, naked blade sharpened at his purpose. And now the trailing ribbons had pulled him out of the way, entangled him into their dance and he couldn’t recall reason to get out of this wondrous meandering.

He is too old to get swept in reckless abandon and naive wonder. And yet here he is, watching Ternell dance, under the open sky, bare feet barely touching the blades of grass and leaving no trace of their passing. Making sure no one will disturb their silly joy.

He will have to tell them soon.

No. Little oracle either already knows who and what they are, or they will See for themself when it’s time. Let them dance as long they can.

[suchsaccharine]

My basically quit my client that other night because my coworker pulled some really petty shit and came in an hour and a half late (meaning I couldn’t leave) just to get back at me.

I was already leaving anyway.

My asshole bf uninvited me to the company Xmas dinner tn bc I told it was disgustingly cruel to intentionally scare a child who is afraid of the dark by turning out al their lights and shutting the door just bc they were in trouble.

I might’ve said that earlier or maybe it was twt I can’t fuckin remember.

I took my kid on a long car ride trying to get inside his head about what is going on with him emotionally and socially.

I have everything in my system rn:

Fet

Kpins

Xans

Shrooms

Coke

Meth

Impressive, aye?

Anyway I’m cuddling my son for a few more minutes before I start working on some philosophy work. Ive got two weeks to do a lot. And I’m still not done with Spanish either. I’ll def be in class this coming this week lol. No skipping until I’m done for here on out.

I think I might want to change majors idk.

I’m going to taper off these kpins tho so I can gtfoh fr no hesitation

[onyxiisms]

ϟ.  → charles melton : cis man : he/him : unemployed trust fund boy : luv is dro by jack harlow  ϟ  did you see XANDER GREGORY GOYLE / ‘GOYLE'  ? you know ,  28 year old PUREBLOOD who was formerly in slytherin. some say goyle can be quite suave but are known to be sadistic. they are aligned with the death eaters.  maybe that’s why they remind me of charming smiles while pushing back dark locks, fists pounding against punching bags, the smell of mahogany and cannabis .  

BASICS

name: xander gregory goyle "goyle"

nickname/s: x, xan, goyle

age: 28

date of birth: october 10th

star sign: libra

languages spoken: english,korean, dutch

sexuality: straight

FAMILY

parents: nari and gregory goyle

sibling/s: younger sister

children: one child he does not yet know about

pets: he has a few snakes and an owl

PERSONALITY

positive traits: goofy, protective, charismatic and determined

negative traits: selfish, easily influenced, careless

hobbies: reading, gardening, cooking

health: healthy as a horse, as they say

MAGIC

blood status: pureblood

wand: dogwood, dragon heart string, tweleve inches

boggart: his father being angry and disappointed

patronus: bat

school + house: hogwarts + slytherin

BIO

since little is known about goyle, im taking him fully into my hands and recreating most of his shit. though through schooling he was one of dracos lackies / close friends still. he was also chubby as he was in canon, so when he lost the weight he gained more self confidence and became a fuckboy. in and out of a lot of beds and hearts.

he is still a death eater, it was passed down by generations on his dads side of the family and it was expected of him since birth. goyles father is a very hard man to please, he was cruel. so he befriended draco malfoy for that reason initially but learned they had more in common than he would have ever guessed.

most of the time however, he is just his typical himbo self. it is only when eyes are on him from voldemort and others that he actually plays into the death eater role he is part of, part of him knows that it is wrong but he is in so deep he knows that there is no other way.

after his parents died the family fortune went to him and his younger sister, split directly in half. however, he pleaded with his sister to move away when things got bad and she did. she is now living in korea with some of their mothers distant family

sometime over the years, with one of the many women he was with, produced a child. this child is now four years old but he does not know of this child yet and the relationship between him and the mother was that of a two week long fling before he got called away on business and when he came back, she was gone without a trace so he moved on to the next one.