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fanficimagery · 4 years

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Friends in High Places

Summary: When Spencer comes home with files to a case that has his team stumped, he's surprised when you- his neighbor for a couple years now- is the person who gives them a new lead to follow. That and that you're ex-SHIELD.

Words: 8K Warnings: This is what I get for starting a rewatch of Criminal Minds and then watching Marvel movies all in one day. Fml. I've never written for Criminal Minds, so please excuse the mediocre-ness of their characterization. I have no idea what I'm doing; I just knew I wanted a crossover between these two fandoms. Also timeline? What are those? All you gotta know is that this is an AU where Bucky's joined the team and Steve DIDN'T ruin the life Peggy Carter would have had. As for the CM side, this is sometime after Hotch has left and Emily took over. Idk.

Having the night off and wanting nothing more than to just be lazy, you're sitting on your couch in your most comfiest clothes and mindlessly scrolling through Tumblr as your TV plays some program on Animal Planet. You're not even paying attention to the program, but the low sound is perfect for background noise.

You're queuing up some art posts that catch your attention, as well as some gif sets of the TV shows you've become a constant viewer of in the past few years, when there's a knock at your door. But not just any knock. It's a specific knock that you and your neighbor came up with after you got to know each other and became fast friends, and it was to let the other know they were home and wanted company. You mostly worked nights and his work schedule was always all over the place, so it's surprising you're both home at the same time.

Picking up your phone, you shoot him a quick text that you'll be over in five.

Spencer Reid is literally the man of every woman's dream, even if they didn't know it. He's cute and adorable and sometimes dangerously hot all rolled into one, and the best thing about it all is that he doesn't even know it. You had met him on one of your first few days in the apartment complex, but unfortunately it was during one of your slight panic attacks when a thunderstorm had caught you off guard while you were sitting in your car and you didn't have an umbrella.

He had seen and heard you freaking out as he was passing by, and knocked on the passenger window. You had collected yourself just long enough to roll the window down a few inches when he asked if you were okay, then proceeded to answer his own question by stating you obviously weren't. When he realized you lived in the same complex and asked if he could climb inside your car and out of the storm, you had stared at him in confusion until he realized that might have been a bit weird since you were strangers. He stammered his way through his explanation of being an FBI agent and after showing you his badge you had let him in.

You didn't have to tell him what was making you panic and he proceeded to keep your mind occupied. He asked about you and where you had moved in from, and spewed random facts about anything to temporarily make you forget about the storm raging outside. But the torrential rain wasn't letting up and the lightning was only getting closer and closer. He made you realize you had to make a run for it and even offered up his umbrella for you. You had thanked him with tears in your eyes and made a run for it on the count of three when you were settled just enough.

Inside the lobby of your apartment building, you had stood there trembling while Spencer nervously gripped onto the strap of his messenger bag as he stood across from you. When you were shaking the water off his umbrella, you hesitantly told him your reasoning for your freak-out. It wasn't necessarily the thunderstorm, but rather the torrential rain that wasn't letting up. A few years back you had a drowning incident and too much water on your face tended to bring back those memories. He said he understood and then with a sympathy tinged smile he offered to walk you to your apartment. It was a pleasant surprise to learn you had only lived two doors down from him.

Weeks turned into months and months into a couple of years, and you and Spencer were nearly inseparable when you both had the same day/night off.

So after quickly fixing your already messy hair so you don't look like a complete slob, and pulling on a loose hoodie, you grab your phone from the sofa and then head on out. Your socked feet keep your footsteps quiet as you head down to Spencer's door where you knock three times on it before opening it up and stepping inside.

But before you can greet him with a cheesy welcome, he's already calling out, "Hope you haven't had dinner. I picked up some burgers on the way home."

On cue, your stomach grumbles. "God bless you, you beautiful, beautiful man!" You hear him laugh from a room that's not where his kitchen is, so you make a beeline for the kitchen instead of accidentally walking in on him changing. There are two paper bags on the table and you quickly grab plates from his cabinet to separate the food on. Spencer enters the kitchen in a shirt and some gray joggers, and you greet him with a beaming smile. "You're home and in one piece! Yay!" He laughs and you quickly lean in to peck his cheek, not saying a word when you catch sight of his pink tinged cheeks. "You have any beer?"

"Yes. Grab two, please."

"Got it." You hear one of his kitchen chairs creak as you open his refrigerator to grab two beers, you then searching a nearby drawer for the bottle opener. Once you find it, you walk back over to the table and open each beer before handing one over to him.

"Thanks."

"Mhm." Taking a seat, you set your beer down before unwrapping your burger and dumping your fries out onto the plate. "So what's up, doc? You're home surprisingly early."

"We've hit a wall on our latest case," he says, keeping it vague. "There was nothing for us to do while Garcia did her thing, so Emily sent us home for a bit."

"Nice." You take a bite of your burger and your eyes widen when Spencer's eyebrows raise in surprise. When you realize how your words sounded, you're quick to backtrack. "Wait! It's not nice that you hit a wall, but nice that you got sent home! I got free food out of it. That's why it's nice. Not because, you know, you haven't found the-"

"Y/N, you're rambling," Spencer says, lips twitching. "I understood what you meant."

You sigh, shoulders dropping, and grab half a fry to toss at him. "Eat your food, Reid. It's getting cold."

It surprisingly doesn't take long for the two of you to eat your dinner, you both being hungrier than you first thought. After you're done, Spencer turns down a second beer but tells you to help yourself. You do. And on the way into his living room, you bump into one of his chairs and knock his bag over. You gasp and set your beer down on the coffee table, falling to your knees to scoop up his files that had spilled out.

Chuckling, Spencer crouches next to you as you profusely apologize.

"It's okay. It was an accident." A few pictures had slid out of their files and normally you'd just shove them back in because his work wasn't any of your business, but the face staring back up at you makes you pause. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a little heavy on the eyeliner, and a lip piercing. You know her. "Y/N?" You gulp and flip to another picture- brown hair, brown eyes, mole above the right eyebrow. You know her too. "Y/N? Are you okay?"

With trembling hands, you flip back to the first picture and show it to him. "Is Lilian dead?"

Spencer's eyes widen. "You knew her?"

Knew. Past tense. She is dead. Showing him the second picture, you nod sadly. "Kyndall too."

He seems to stop breathing then and from one moment to the next he's opening files and pulling out picture after picture. As you stare at each of them, you grimace and swallow down the bile that's threatening to climb its way up your throat. "Y/N, do you know any of the others?"

Shakily exhaling, you point at each picture. "Desiree, Celeste, Maria. I don't know this one, but I think her last name was Valdez? And then the male is Tim."

Spencer falls on his butt, staring at you in surprise. "That's right. We know their names and their current line of work, but that's about it. Their files only seem to go back a few years. Everything between the end of their high school career and current line of work seems to be scrubbed clean. Do you- do you know of any connection between these people? Any little thing you know can possibly be a big help to my team."

Your gaze darts up to him and your heart sinks. You've managed to keep your past mostly hidden, but now it seems the time has come to tell him what you did before. "They, uh, they're all ex-agents of SHIELD. The real SHIELD, not HYDRA."

"What?"

"If I remember correctly, they were computer analysts or paper pushers. They had gun training as one would think an agent would have, but they were agents who didn't really have to train in hand-to-hand since they never made it out into the field."

"You're positive? How do you know this?"

You gulp. "Because I'm ex-SHIELD too."

Spencer blinks at you, but then in the next moment he's up on his feet and reaching for his phone. He places a quick phone call, stepping into another room and leaving you alone. Your stomach sinks and you have a feeling that this confession might have just put a wedge in your friendship. After all, though ex-agents were being picked up by other different branches of the government, you weren't sure just how exactly trustworthy all ex-agents were being treated.

Spencer reappears, nervously tucking his hair behind his ear. "Do you mind coming with me back to work? My co-workers could really pick your brain about this."

You blink at him. "W-What? You're not mad at me?"

"Mad?" He chuckles. "Why would I be mad? I mean I wish I had known what you did so I didn't have to worry about you being alone when I left for a case, but I can see why you would keep that underwraps. HYDRA made a lot of people paranoid."

"Tell me about it," you mumble. Then after a few seconds, you finally climb up to your own two feet. "Um, just let me go put on some shoes. I'll meet you in the hall."

Spencer's smile and nod eases some of your worries, but you still quickly make an escape to go put on some shoes. Your front door bangs open and you hurry to your hall closet. Yanking open that door, you pull on the first pair of Converse you come across. Then taking a moment to think, you grab a pair of knee high boots that you use every once in a while. Reaching inside, you grab your old badge and a USB stick, sticking your badge in your back pocket and the USB in your front pocket. Then grabbing your keys from the hook by the front door, you shut the door after exiting and lock it. Spencer is waiting down the hall for you and you jog towards him. He tightly smiles and then leads you downstairs, towards his car, and you sit quietly in his passenger seat while he drives.

On the way towards Spencer's place of work, he can't help but ask, "So what exactly did you do with SHIELD if you don't mind me asking."

You shrug. "Cat's out of the bag now, so I don't mind." You chuckle though it kind of falls flat. "I was, uh, a computer analyst for a while. But then I was taken on a field trip with a few agents and we ended up trading bullets with several not so nice guys. The field agents liked the way I handled myself and requested I level up, so to speak."

"And you never thought of trying to get hired on with anyone else? If I recall, the FBI and CIA were picking up ex-SHIELD agents after the fall."

You shake your head. "Remember that drowning incident I mentioned? Or the reason why I can't take baths anymore and have to turn my shower on and off between washing?" Spencer hums, remembering what he thought were odd quirks until he realized it was all because of your fear of certain amounts of water. "That drowning incident was HYDRA's fault. I spent months in rehab and just- well, no one wanted a damaged agent."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of glad they didn't. I quite like my neighbor who picks up take-out and bakes sweets for me after a rough case."

You try not to think too much about his words and instead choose to smile at him before looking out your window. The drive is only about twenty minutes and fortunately the radio fills in the semi-tense silence.

When you get to the FBI building, Spencer escorts you inside with a hand at the small of your back. You're given a visitor's badge and you quickly clip it onto the hem of your hoodie. The elevator ride up to the BAU's main floor is a short one and it opens up to a wall of glass where you can see several desks behind it.

Spencer opens the door for you and you can't help but make yourself seem as small as possible. You cross your arms over your chest, hugging yourself as you enter the room. There are several people milling about, but no one pays you any attention. Only one female, dark bangs covering her forehead while the rest of her hair falls just passed her shoulders, heads towards you once she spots you and Spencer.

"Y/N," Spencer says, introducing you to the woman as she nears, "this is our Unit Chief Emily Prentiss. Emily, this is my good friend Y/N Y/L/N."

Emily is all smiles as she reaches to shake your hand. "Hi! It's nice to finally meet the girl who takes care of our boy wonder after cases."

Spencer nervously chuckles and you find yourself genuinely grinning. "It's nice to finally meet you too. I've heard some funny stories about all you guys."

"I will neither confirm nor deny any of those."

Emily then leads you towards a room where three others are waiting. "Guys, this is Y/N Y/L/N. Friend of Spence and ex-agent of SHIELD. Y/N, this is Special Agent Derek Morgan and Jennifer Jareau, and our very own technical analyst Penelope Garcia."

Everyone happily greets you and Jennifer even gives you the go ahead to call her JJ. You're offered a seat at their round table and you glance at their board filled with pictures of people you used to work with. Spencer sits next to you and you offer him a feeble smile when he reaches beneath the table to squeeze your knee.

"Alright, guys, I know we're all interested in the girl who lives next to Spence, but we need to get down to business." Spencer groans as his teammates all chuckle. "So Y/N, is there anything else you can give us about the victims? What exactly did they do? Did they all personally know each other or just enough because they were coworkers? Even the smallest bit of info that you think is inconsequential can help us."

"I, uh, I can do you one better," you say. You shift in your seat and reach into your front pocket, pulling out the USB stick. "Since I figure all those NDA's we signed are now null and void thanks to Agent Romanoff's data dump, and because you're Spencer's friend, I feel comfortable handing this over. It kind of made me nervous keeping it in my house anyway."

You slide the USB towards Penelope and she gasps, snatching it up and holding it as if it were the holy grail. "Is this- are these files? Because let me tell you, I tried to download those files as soon as they hit the net but there were just so many and not even our WiFi could download it fast enough before they were scrubbed clean."

You grin and nod, chuckling at Penelope's squeal. "I started collecting everyone's files that I could get my hands on. I started with the baby agents- agents whose files wouldn't toss up red flags when their files were opened. The more clearance I was granted, the more files I was able to download."

"Oh my god. Yes! You are my new favorite person." Penelope rushes around the table, bending down to kiss your cheek with a loud mwah! "Reid, keep this one. I'll be in my lair."

The group all chuckle as you blush, but then Agent Morgan is clearing his throat. "Not that I'm not grateful about what you're giving up, but isn't what you were doing illegal?"

You shrug. "It possibly was, but then Director Fury realized I was memorizing it all and didn't have a problem with it so long as those files didn't leave my office."

"But you have them on you now," Morgan says.

"Yeah. The USB was hidden within my belongings in my office. My office surprisingly survived unscathed after Captain Rogers crashed the helicarriers into the Potomac, and my stuff was packed up and shipped to me while I was in rehab."

"If you don't mind me asking," JJ wonders, "but were you at the Triskelion when HYDRA came out or..?"

"I don't mind the questions at all," you say. "It's actually quite nice to talk about it with people who aren't eyeing me suspiciously." The group flashes you small smiles. "I was actually on a consulting job with a recently formed SHIELD team whose base was a humongous plane that was constantly on the move. Anyway, one of those trusted team members ended up being HYDRA. He led a group of his men onto the plane, killed half of us to get control of it, and then locked me and two scientists into a holding pod before dropping us into the middle of the ocean."

"The drowning incident," Spencer suddenly realizes.

You smile sadly at him, nodding. "We sank to the bottom of the ocean floor. There were three of us and only one little oxygen tank." Spencer grabs your hand beneath the table and you're grateful for the grounding pressure. "We gave it to Jemma. Fitz and I were going to attempt to swim, but we didn't make it. Fitz blacked out first, then me, and then- then nothing. We woke up in a trusted SHIELD facility, and Fitz and I couldn't operate like we used to. With our brains having been deprived of oxygen, it messed us up for a while."

"Wow," Emily says. "I am so sorry."

You shrug at her with a small smile. "It was all part of the job."

"What do you do now?" Morgan asks. "I hate to say it, but with all our victims being ex-SHIELD, and you as well, we have to rule you out as-"

"I get it." You smile in reassurance at him since it kind of pained him to admit that you could be a suspect and have Spencer glare at him for even thinking it. "I'm a bouncer at a bar most nights."

Morgan chuckles. "A bouncer? You!?"

"Hey! I might not look like much, but I did train with Avengers. I could probably give you a run for your money, agent Morgan."

"Okay, okay," he muses.

"I also work as private security for Stark Industries when they throw galas. If you need the exact dates I've been working, I can get that for you."

"Please," JJ says. "Spencer's already vouched for you, but protocol and all that. You understand."

"I do. I'll just- I'll text my bosses to email my clock-ins and clock-outs."

Pulling out your phone, you immediately text your boss at the bar and Pepper Potts. You keep the explanation vague as to why you need it, but assure them it's very much needed for a case the FBI is working on. They completely understand and you even have to make Pepper swear not to get Tony involved.

The emails come in not even ten minutes later and JJ happily takes your phone to run the dates with Penelope, promising to be quick about it. You remain in your seat, watching as Morgan and Emily walk towards the board and start tossing their thoughts back and forth over what they've learned so far.

Your hands are atop the table, thumbs chipping away the already chipped nail polish you have on. The second you raise your hand with the intent of chewing on your thumb nail, Spencer catches your hand. "You okay?" He quietly asks and you stare at him. He then lets your hand go as you pull them back into your lap.

"Yeah. Just getting kind of tired. And a bit anxious. Someone's targeting ex-SHIELD agents and I- well I'm one of those people."

"No one is going to hurt you, Y/N. I promise."

You feebly smile, not taking his words to heart because you know he can't actually keep that promise. He might want to, but you know better than to take these types of promises seriously in situations such as this.

JJ reappears, a bright smile in place as she hands you your phone. "I'm pretty sure Penelope programmed her number in there."

"That's fine." You chuckle. You lay your phone on the table, giving your attention back to Emily and Morgan who's now being joined by JJ.

"Guys, Garcia is having a ball right now. There's so much information she wasn't privy to before, but I'm not sure how any of it is going to help more than Y/N already has." Emily and Morgan look at JJ, waiting for her to explain. "We already know victims weren't the best at hand-to-hand, which the unsub clearly took advantage of. But we need to know what they were presently doing and if they were checking in with anyone because there are a lot of dead ex-agents. That's not a coincidence. Either someone who's ex-SHIELD or HYDRA is picking off ex-agents one by one, or someone who has a grudge against SHIELD found a list of ex-agents and is working their way down the list."

"Where do we even start?" Morgan asks, incredulous. "SHIELD technically doesn't exist anymore and those who are operating in the shadows are nearly impossible to track down thanks to the Avengers. None of them are exactly easy to get a hold of after General Ross made it his personal mission to bring in James Buchanan Barnes for crimes HYDRA made him commit. They like working on their own."

"We'd have to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get a face to face," Emily says, sighing. "If we're lucky they'll want in on the case since it's related to SHIELD."

"Um, actually.." You nervously raise your hand, calling all attention on you. "You can bypass all those hoops."

Emily stares at you, sitting on the edge of the table as she crosses her arms over her chest. "You still have connections, don't you?" At your sheepish grin, she huffs in amusement. Every other team member straightens with hope in their expressions.

"Agent Prentiss, I am the connection." As you pick up your phone once more, JJ and Morgan step closer to the table. You scroll through your contacts, finding the one you need and tapping on it. Then putting it on speaker, you try to soothe your nerves as the ringing through the speaker seems to make the atmosphere of the room become tense.

The ringing stops as the connection is made and then, "Well, well, well. If it isn't my second favorite human on God's green Earth." You roll your eyes at the charm oozing from him. "What kind of trouble are you in now, doll?"

Emily and JJ's eyes widen, and you shake your head in amusement. "Put your boyfriend on the line, Barnes. I'm calling in a favor."

"Are you calling to finally take us up on that offer of joining us for a night?"

Everyone in the room seems to freeze, although Morgan is highly enjoying where this seems to be going. You close your eyes, scrunching up your nose. You can't believe they just heard that. "Steve really needs to put a muzzle on you."

"Well if you're into that-"

"Bucky!" You bark. "You're on speaker." Morgan finally loses the battle with his laughter and you wish you can sink into your chair. Instead you have to settle for just insanely blushing and covering your face with one hand. "I'm currently with the BAU of the FBI. They have a case that they could use some help on."

"Oh." There's a beat of silence. "Christ, Y/N. You should have stopped me sooner. Stevie's gonna lecture me again. Hold on. I'll go get him."

The line goes silent and you nervously meet Spencer's gaze. He's the only one who doesn't seem as amused which is why you don't find Bucky's greeting as funny as you normally would. Something about his expression actually makes you wish Bucky hadn't said anything.

"Y/N?"

You sit a little straighter in your seat. "Hey, Cap."

"What's going on? Buck mentioned the FBI."

"Uh yeah. I'm with Agents Prentiss, Morgan, Jareau, and Doctor Reid," you tell him. "They've been dealing with a case that had gone cold and well I kind of made a connection they hadn't seen before because they couldn't, and uh I'm sure they could use your help."

"What was the connection?"

You look at Emily and she nods, letting you tell him. "Steve, all the victims are ex-SHIELD. Specifically agents who wouldn't have had too much training; who couldn't hold their own without a gun in hand."

There's a sharp inhale. "What do they need?"

Emily's eyes close in relief and she holds her hand out for your phone. You happily oblige her and hand it over. "Captain Rogers, this is Special Agent Emily Prentiss. I'm the one in charge of my team here."

"Hello, Agent Prentiss. How can my team and I be of help?"

"Well we mainly need to pick your brains and ask some questions. We're aware that SHIELD is still operating to an extent, even if it is in the shadows, so we'd like to know if the victims were still affiliated with you. If we're dealing with someone who is or was from SHIELD or HYDRA, we'd like to have you involved since you have more experience with how they operate."

"That's fine. I'll gather my team and set up a room. Are you okay to set up base here in the Compound?"

"Yes!" JJ says, starting everyone. She clears her throat and calms herself. "Yes."

Steve chuckles. "Very well. Gather everything you need. I'll be sending a quinjet for you all since it'll be faster. Y/N knows the pick-up location."

"Thank you so much, Captain Rogers."

Emily hands you the phone and seeing that the call is still connected, you say, "Hey, Steve? Thanks for this."

"It's not a problem, sweetheart. Are you okay though? You're an ex-shield agent yourself."

"I know, but nothing has been out of the ordinary. I'm okay."

"Good. You coming too?"

"I was actually planning on going home after driving the agents to the location. I'm not an active agent anymore, bub."

"I know you're not, but with that agent neighbor of yours coming here I rather have you here as well so we can keep an eye on you." You sigh at his protectiveness. "Bring a change of clothes for a week. I'll have Nat get a hold of your boss and let him know some of what's going on so you'll have a job to go back to once all of this is over."

"You're a pain in the ass, Rogers."

Steve laughs. "See you soon, Y/L/N."

The call ends and you set your phone down. Glancing up, you smile sheepishly at the team staring at you. "So, uh, I guess I'm tagging along. Sorry about that."

Emily opens her mouth, her words getting stuck as she shakes her head in amusement. "Don't be. You got us working with the Avengers within minutes as opposed to taking hours, possibly even a day if I had to put in a request."

Morgan whistles appreciatively. "This is insane. I'm gonna give Garcia a heads up about our field trip. Expect another tag a long. I don't think she'll pass up this opportunity."

You chuckle as JJ says, "Rossi is going to be so pissed he took a vacation and missed out on working with the Avengers." Then looking at you, she adds, "Do you think Spider-Man will be there? My son absolutely loves him and I would be the coolest mom ever if I got a picture or video with him."

"I'm sure Pe- uh, I'm sure Spider-Man will make an appearance," you say. "He's always hanging around after his classes are done for the day."

JJ's eyes widen. "You totally know who he is."

"I do. And let me tell you, he absolutely adores kids. Ask and he'll happily oblige."

"Guys. Guys!" Emily says. "Case first, fangirl later."

Spencer snorts and you elbow him on reflex. He grumbles, Emily and JJ grin, and you innocently smile at Emily. "Sorry, Agent Prentiss. I'll just- I'll go sit on that couch over there so I'm not in the way."

Emily starts telling her team what needs to be done, repeating herself again when Morgan returns with a clearly excited Garcia. Morgan informs everyone he'll go gather the boxes of files while Spencer immediately sets out to disassemble the board of pictures and post-its. Garcia excitedly rushes back to her own office to pack up a few things, while Emily and JJ figure out what all they'll need to be taking with them.

To keep yourself occupied, you waste a few minutes by playing a game on your phone.

You're not sure how much time has passed, but someone hesitantly sitting next to you takes your attention off your phone. Glancing up, you see Spencer sitting there and realize everyone else has cleared out of the room. "We should be ready to head out in about ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay."

There's a moment of silence and then, "Soo.. Bucky Barnes." He chuckles, running a hand through his hair, and you can tell his amusement isn't exactly genuine. "He's- he's not the type of person I pictured you with if I'm being honest."

"Barnes?" You snort. "Ew. No." Spencer seems surprised by your reply. "Bucky likes to flirt with me because he knows it won't go anywhere. He's well aware of the actual person I have a crush on and he respects that. Mostly."

"O-Oh? So there is someone in the picture then?"

"Well, not really," you say. Squirming in your seat, you're not totally comfortable with the direction this talk has taken until you see you're not the only one squirming. Spencer is avoiding eye contact, but he's also clearly awaiting your answer. There's also a telltale flush up the side of his neck to the tips of his ears, and- oh. Oh. Seeing how nervous Spencer suddenly is makes you feel better. So better, in fact, that you feel you should speak up about something that you've kept secret for a while. "Well I mean I'd like there to be," you say, grinning when he freezes. "The thing is, he actually lives down the hall from me." Cue him holding his breath. "He's totally adorable, but also secretly hot which is so unfair, and he works for the FBI." Spencer's head snaps in your direction, eyes wide. You smile sheepishly and shrug. "The only downfall is that he's way too good for someone like me, so I settled for friendship."

Your heart is beating terribly fast and the only thing keeping you glued to your seat is Spencer grinning bashfully, cheeks pink. "If you ask me, I don't think he's too good at all. I-If anything, he probably thinks you were too good for him which is why he never made his own feelings known."

Relief washes over you and you laugh. "We're idiots, huh?"

Lips pressed together, he smiles wide. Then, "A little."

"Rain check on this discussion? We've got Avengers to greet and you have a case to solve."

"Of course!" Spencer hastily stands, offering you a hand up. Grinning, you take it and let him pull you to your feet while shoving your phone into your back pocket. "Wherever we're going, is it okay to leave our vehicles there?"

"Yeah. It's private property and pretty secluded. No one gets in without codes."

"Okay then. We'll swing by our building for your bag and then you can direct one of the drivers while the other follows."

"Sure. Sounds like a plan."

Because of the connection between the list of victims, you have an escort up to your apartment while you pack a bag. Emily and JJ happily accompany you, leaving Spencer to fend for himself with Morgan and Garcia.

In your apartment, the two female agents waste no time in subtly trying to figure out your exact feelings for their dear friend and you take great amusement in skirting around the answer they so desperately try to pry out of you. And it's only after your duffel is packed do you tell them you and Spencer had admitted some things to each other, but you are planning to talk about it further after their case is closed. JJ seems oddly giddy and Emily coos about their boy genius growing up. You blush, relieved that they've taken a to liking to you. Then when you get back to the vehicles, you know Spencer has been questioned as well given the smirks being sent your way.

The drive to the field isn't long and the team is impressed by the level of security for a seemingly abandoned airfield. There's an unmanned gate which you get off at to speak for voice recognition, punch in a specific code, give a hand print, and then secretly have your forefinger pricked for a blood sample. Then when the gate swings open, you quickly climb back into the car and instruct Emily towards the second gate where a guard sits. The guard greets you warmly and, after you introduce those in the vehicle with you, he assures you he knows all about the impending pick-up.

"So what exactly are we in for?" Morgan asks. You're all waiting in an opened hangar, the boxes they'd packed sitting on the ground.

"Your perceptions about them are about to be changed," you admit. "I'm sure you've all told yourselves that the Avengers are just like you and I, but you have no idea how true that it is until you meet them."

"Who is the nicest?" JJ wonders.

You take a moment to think about. "Honestly? They're all nice, but if I had to choose I'd choose Spider-Man. It's hard not to like him. The kid's a puppy."

"Who gives the best hugs?" Garcia quickly adds.

Everyone chuckles at her eagerness. "That's a tough one," you say. You ponder on it for a moment. "I say it's a tie between Steve and Thor. They hug full on, chest to chest. None of that half-assed, one arm hug nonsense."

Garcia practically swoons. "Oh to be wrapped up in those beefy Asgardian arms." You snort and shake your head in amusement.

Another twenty minutes pass and you regale Spencer and his friends about some of your work with SHIELD. But all too soon the telltale sound of a quinjet reaches your ears and when you look up you see one incoming.

"Well that was hella fast," Garcia muses when she spots the quinjet herself.

JJ grins. "Stark technology. Gotta love it."

Emily nods in agreement. "We definitely need an upgrade."

Whoever is flying the quinjet lands it with ease, and Spencer, Morgan, and JJ immediately pick up their boxes. Shouldering the strap of your duffel bag, you start heading towards the quinjet when the ramp is being lowered and the team follows a few steps behind.

Clint Barton walks off the ramp and you chuckle, hurrying your steps. Both your arms go around his neck and one of his arms wraps low around your waist. "Short stack," he says. "What trouble did you get into now?"

"Why does everyone assume I'm in trouble?" You pout as you pull back, pinching his cheek and cooing before stepping back out of range. "And what are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be on the farm with those precious little heathens?"

"I was, but Laura had leftovers for Nat and Wanda. I was just dropping them off when Steve rounded up the team."

"Oh nice." Then turning around, you gesture to the BAU team. "Clint, meet Special Agents Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Doctor Spencer Reid, and the brains of the beauty of the team Miss Penelope Garcia. Guys, meet Clint Barton formerly known as Hawkeye."

Everyone shakes hands, with the exception of Garcia who slaps his hand away and pulls him into a hug.

"Baby girl," Morgan laughs, "what are you doing?"

She squeezes a chuckling Clint before letting go, she then whirling on her own friend. "This is my first time meeting the Avengers. Do not take this from me!" Morgan's eyebrows raise in amusement, the whole team and Clint chuckling.

Then not wasting anymore time, Clint ushers everyone on board. He shows them where the boxes and your bag can be stowed before taking the pilot's seat up front, only to be joined by Morgan moments later in the co-pilot seat. You show Emily and Garcia how to buckle in, and then take your own seat between JJ and Spencer.

Clint counts down for lift off and you grip your harness as you feel the quinjet take flight. Spencer nudges you with his elbow and you glance at him, grinning to assure him you're okay. But when you can feel the quinjet picking up speed thanks to the feeling in your gut, you close your eyes and are thankful that no one brings up the fact that you're actually really nervous right now.

Your left hand is grabbed and gently pried from your grip on the harness, and your eyes fly open in surprise. You look towards your left and JJ smiles at you reassuringly as she squeezes your hand in comfort. Then when your right hand is grabbed and given the same treatment, you glance over at Spencer and can't help but blurt, "I-I've never been nervous about flying before."

"It's perfectly normal to subconsciously be nervous or anxious after we trudged up your past earlier," he says. "Just close your eyes and relax. We won't let anything happen to you."

You nod, smiling shakily and turn your head to rest it against the headrest of your seat. Then closing your eyes, you're grateful for the team not asking you anything for the duration of the ride. Instead, they save their questions for Clint who's all too happy to answer what he can.

You know the Compound's come into view when Morgan whistles in appreciation. Clint lands to quinjet with ease and then everyone's unbuckling themselves when he gives the go ahead. Before you can grab your bag, however, Spencer is grabbing it and beaming at you when you sigh with mock annoyance.

One by one the BAU team disembarks after Clint, leaving you and Spencer to bring up the rear. You hear Clint introducing everyone and notice everyone's congregated around in a circle. Then just as you and Spencer join, you notice that Garcia is petting Bucky's vibranium arm. You snort, catching an amused Steve's attention.

"Y/N," he greets.

"Steve." You step forward, briefly hugging him and then Bucky. As you step back in line, you gesture towards Spencer to introduce him. "This is Doctor Spencer Reid. Spence, this is Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes."

Steve leans in for a handshake, but then pauses mid-shake. "Wait. Spencer Reid? The Spencer Reid?" He grins. "Are you- are you and the agent neighbor one in the same?"

You sharply inhale, eyes widening when everyone turns to stare at your rapidly blushing face. Steve's grin turns rather teasing and your eyes narrow at him. "Two words; octopus dick." Steve's amusement vanishes, and everyone turns towards a now blushing Steve as Bucky guffaws. You turn your gaze on him next. "I don't know why you're laughing, dolphin boy."

Bucky immediately shuts up and Steve shakily grins before addressing the team. "Okay! Now that we've all been introduced, lets get inside before Y/N starts a war she can't finish."

Morgan and JJ are the only two to follow after Steve, Bucky, and Clint. Emily and Garcia remain with you and Spencer, and both females look to you with pleading eyes.

"Please tell me how four innocuous words got two supersoldiers to blush like that?" Garcia asks, Emily nodding along with her. "I need to know!"

"Sorry, girls," you tell them. "Those stories get out and I'm dead meat."

The both of them grumble about not getting answers, but move on without fuss. Before you can follow, however, Spencer steps closer to you. "You won't even tell me?" He asks, voice quiet.

You huff. "You already know."

Spencer's answering smile is enough to make you roll your eyes and he's quick to keep pace with you as you enter the building. There are numerous people milling about, but since it's late most of the trainees are in bed. Every piece of furniture and fixture still seems brand spanking new, so you don't blame the BAU team looking around in awe.

Heading into the chosen office, you lead Spencer inside before catching Steve's attention. "I'm gonna let you guys get to work. I'll be setting up in my room if anyone needs me."

No one objects, so after taking your bag from Spencer you take your leave. You leisurely make your way towards the living quarters of the compound and find your room with ease. Opening the door, the familiarity of it brings a tired smile to your face. The lamps have been turned on, awaiting your arrival, and even the TV has been turned on with its volume on low. The walls and bedding is the same as everyone else has, but you know it's your room because of the personal pictures on the dresser and bedside tables.

Since you're going to be staying until the case is over and then probably a couple days more after, you decide to put your clothes in the dresser rather than leave it in your bag for the entire time. After that's done and you've switched your TV to a movie you like, you pick out a standard set of black sleep pants and a blue/gray shirt that every trainee at the compound wears to bed so you can shower before crawling into bed yourself.

You're grateful for the private bathroom and even more grateful to see the products you use already waiting for you. You turn on the water to the shower, grab a towel from the bathroom closet and set it on the counter along with your change of clothes before you start to strip.

You keep your hair in a topknot as you shower since you had washed it earlier that morning, so your shower is over within ten minutes. Then by the time you're dried off and dressed in fresh clothes, and your teeth are brushed, you exit the bathroom.

Stepping into your room, you startle at the sight of Spencer sitting on the small cushioned bench at the foot of your bed. He's staring up at the moving playing, the corner of his lips quirked up in amusement. But at your small gasp, he looks towards you, lips spreading into a fond smile.

"Captain Rogers said it was okay that I wait for you. I don't mean to intrude."

"Spence," you huff a laugh and then continue on towards your bed, "we have keys to each other's apartments and sometimes barge in without warning. I think you waiting in here is more than okay."

"Just needed to make sure," he says, "what with this being a new place and all."

"Mhmm." You sit on the edge of the bed that's right behind the bench, putting your feet on the cushion beside Spencer and practically hug your knees as you stare at him. "How did everyone settle in?"

"E-Everyone's good." Spencer turns sideways, grinning up at you. "We got our own rooms here so we don't have to be back and forth from a hotel. When we left, Garcia was being introduced to the holographic tables and now I don't think she's going to sleep tonight."

You chuckle. "I knew she'd fall prey to all the pretty tech here." He chuckles along with you. "And how did everyone take the news to hearing the details about the case?"

"They're taking it very personally," Spencer tells you. "Mr. Barton even asked to stay on as a consultant. He and agent Romanoff are not very happy."

"Well they might not be as smart as you, Doc, but I think they're going to be a big help. You guys will be out of here in no time with the bad guy in cuffs."

"Is that so?" He muses. You grin and nod. "And if we're out of here in no time, are we still waiting until you go home for that discussion we still need to have?"

"We can table the discussion," you say, "but I really need to do this before I chicken out."

"Do what?"

Without thinking too much more about it, you reach out to cradle Spencer's jaw in the palms of your hands. You bring his face closer to yours, pausing with barely an inch between your lips. It seems he's held his breath in surprise, but when he notices you're waiting for some sort of unspoken permission it's him who closes the gap.

There's nothing heated or rushed about the kiss- it merely being a chaste kiss of several little pecks before he catches your bottom lip between his teeth. You smile, your lip popping free from where it stretches, and you giggle as he leans up to chase your lips.

"Ahem." The interruption causes you to jerk back from Spencer, eyes wide when you catch sight of Bucky leaning against your door jamb and looking quite smug. "Hope I'm not interrupting." You groan, laying your forehead on Spencer's shoulder while he quietly snorts. "So with this new development, does this mean our threesome will now be a foursome?"

You can't help but laugh and sit straight once more so you can see your friend. Unfortunately, the question actually gives you pause and there's a split second where you actually give it thought. But in the next moment your nose wrinkles and you shake your head. "What? No!"

He points at you, eyes gleaming. "You paused! You paused which means that no just turned into a maybe. I'm gonna go tell Stevie we're back in the game!"

"James!" Spencer finally laughs and you groan again when Bucky pushes off the door jamb, whistling as he walks away. "I hate my friends."

"Just wait until Morgan finds out. It'll be worse." Spencer chuckles as you sigh, and he gets up before walking around to the side of your bed. He places his palms down on the mattress, leaning over you to kiss you once more. "I'm gonna go to my room before Sergeant Barnes brings back reinforcements."

"Okay. I'll probably see you around the compound, but I'll do my best to stay out of your hair while you're looking for your unsub."

"Are we still talking after?"

"Of course. Well we can either talk or order in some Chinese and hole up in one of our apartments for a weekend. Your call."

"I like the second option," he says.

"I figured you would." You kiss him one last time and then push against his chest. "Now go. We'll figure things out soon."

#spencer reid x reader #marvel gen fic x reader #avengers imagine #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagine #marvel imagine #spencer reid #steve rogers #bucky barnes #clint barton #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #derek morgan #fanficimagery

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smiledog15578 · 3 years

Text

OK BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIKE... who the real villain is in wkm?

I think we all know who it is it’s pretty obvious it’s the house but I honestly think we don’t talk about it often? Literally that’s the mf who’s the real bastard here. ITS THEORY TIME 😼

While actor Mark is an asshole and technically a villain he wasn’t like like that before. Hell he was a generous man helping his friends and was a loved man. When Celine left his ass he was venerable af and the entity was like “TIME TO MANIPULATE THIS MAN FOR MY OWN GAIN” and made him the asshole the way that he is now. I think actor Mark thinks that he’s in control oh shit because he might of been told that but really the house is pulling the strings and making him believe that. He’s literally just about chess piece to use for this evil game of chess (lol analogy)

I’d also like to point out that Celine might of left actor because the house told her to. At the time actor wasn’t vulnerable especially with having a good life with his wife and having an outstanding career and the house probably didn’t like that. So in order to make him weak it took the only thing that he lived at the time, Celine. Another reason she left was because of bad vibes. That house is just infested with bad juju and Celine being a seer noticed that over time but back then since it was kinda discouraged to divorce especially for a women to do it luckily William knew and took her in. William has lived in the same house actor lived so I’m guessing he’s aware of the evil it contains since when he gets turned into Wilford hell even during wkm he isn’t weirded out by the things happening to the house and other weird shit. He was trying to protect Celine. Now again I just wanna say the adultery doesn’t excuse it still a shitty thing to do and William is still a stubborn a hole just as much as actor.

HOWEVER this situation is like novel: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925). (Btw if you don’t want spoilers skip this) in the book, daisy cheats with Gatsby behind Tom’s (daisy’s husband) back because like I said either during those times it was shunned for women to divorce their husbands and during those days women weren’t really independent back then. They were VERY pressured to get married and have children etc etc. Tom was an asshole to daisy and was even cheating on her but of course men and women back then had double standards where women couldn’t or should do this and same went for men. and I’m not saying that Celine didn’t love actor cause I’m sure they did love each other so much but it kinda explains why she left him other than just because. I also don’t think Celine was necessarily abusive nor do I think actor was at the time. Things got heated and the only scapegoat was to leave him and never return to that house again.

Another thing on my tiny pea sized brain is about the houses world. I have a theory that the house has created a universe inside it while Everything out side it is the original universe (or just our reality idk). This is why George (the groundskeeper) doesn’t appear in any of the new videos is because he wasn’t in the house during all this mess (in the character world idk if the actor for George just didn’t wanna be in the series but then you have to wonder why his portrait isn’t up in the hallway dark made in AHWM). You can think of the house as if it’s a movie set or a green screen. To us and the actors we see these worlds and weird shit when in reality there’s nothing there. Nobody actually dies in this universe because like movies no one actually dies they’re just not on the set. Even the side characters don’t really die cause us as the viewers revive them be just rewatching the video. Wilford knows people won’t die because 1. He’s seen his friend get up and walk around after being dead and 2. He knows that when people “die” they just come back by the help of your Or the entity. He acknowledges that in AHWM where he states that we can PAUSE the video. Almost none of the characters except Wilford has acknowledged that which makes me think he’s a lot smarter the we think or just has more common sense. Wilford is forgetful sure but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid he was a colonel for crying out loud one of the highest ranks in the US army lol. I’d like to also point out that Wilford uses this set ordeal to his advantage most importantly. In WKM we see William do it too by appearing one place then teleporting to another place. Kinda think of the house as the 3rd dimension. Wilford “escapes” that dimension to a new plane and can come back when in reality he’s just leaving what the house is previewing to everyone in the house. Everyone else In this universe except maybe actor, Wilford, and dark know that you don’t have to play along. These people in the houses universe are programmed to believe that they can’t escape have HAVE to play a character.

(Spoilers for wandavision) when I watched wandavision not that long ago it made me think about the MCU (not marvel cinematic universe😏✨ MARKIPLIER cinematic universe) and how it’s kinda like that. Wanda in the show creates this force field out of grief where everything inhabits it is turned into her liking of what fits the narrative. People are being held hostage to just play a part in Wandas sick tv show SHES made for her and her husband. People outside the forcefield are just normal people but once they put a person, object, etc it gets turned into what WANDA wants. I think that fits into the mcu because the house is EXACTLY like that. These mfs haven’t aged at all because time isn’t existing for their universe. Abe thinks that he’s been tracing down William for years but Mark said that “he thinks that but really wmlw is right after wkm” (that’s paraphrasing go watch the wmlw to get a better explanation LMAO) but like I said the house makes you feel like it’s been only years or days but it’s not even close to that.

With that all being said I don’t think anyone here is the real villain here or the hero. Like Mark said They’re all human which they have bad and good traits the only thing that’s the real asshole is the house. It’s like it’s a living breathing purgatory that creates chaos

BUT THATS JUST A THEORY

A GAME- or a youtube .. YouTube theory? YEA A YOUTUBE THEORY!

now mind you I’m not the best at writing so I’m sorry that none of this made sense feel free to correct me or chime in with your theories but I just wanted to share my theories and ideas :) and if you made it those far I’m sorry I wasted ur time HSJSJDJJSJD

#markiplier #my art #who killed markiplier #darkiplier #wilford warfstache #actor mark #a heist with markiplier #wkm celine #wkm william #wkm abe #wkm George #theory #Markiplier theory #I’ve been thinking about this all day since me and my friend talked about it LMAO #shit writing #lol #markipliertag2

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nctsworld · 4 years

Text

let me know

✩ mark x reader (ft. johnny) | pining | fluff | 1.5k

→ summary: on the living room couch, mark thinks you’re asleep with your head on his lap and has a conversation with johnny. as you secretly listen, mark reveals he has been meaning to tell you something for a while now.�� → warnings: dash of angst, reader jumps to conclusions → prompt: Person B falls asleep in Person A's lap and Person A has a conversation with someone else while stroking Person B's hair as if they were a sleeping cat.

→ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

It’s a chill day. Just you, Mark, and Johnny hanging around the apartment, playing games, watching Netflix on the couch, and the like. During a rewatch marathon of one of your favourite tv shows, you start to feel your eyes and head get heavy.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

Right now, it’s only you and him on the couch with both of you on either end. He glances over and notices how you’re beginning to doze off.

“Can I rest on you?” you ask, despite how you are already making your way over to his side. Your best friend nods and holds an arm out, open and ready for you to fill in the space near him. His arm wraps around your body as you lay your head on his shoulder. Mark’s natural, sweet aroma fills your nose and reacts with your other senses, making you melt into his body more. However, the position isn’t the best for how sleepy you are.

You break away for a second, and, to Mark’s surprise, you relax your head upon his lap.

“Are you comfortable like this?” Your question is soft, barely a whisper. He hasn’t answered yet, but you’re already closing your eyes and begin to draw invisible shapes on his thigh.

“Y-yeah,” he stutters, watching the events unfolding with wide eyes. “Is this comfortable for you?”

Although you don’t manage to answer him, he knows the answer after a few moments as he feels your body become languid under his touch. A smile emerges across his face and he carefully places his hand on your head, rubbing his thumb gently and sending heartwarming vibes in hopes that you would sleep with pleasant dreams.

And your sleep really is peaceful and sweet, perhaps due to Mark’s small touches and caresses throughout it all. The sleeping beauty awakens some time later, but you don’t move in Mark’s lap, continuing to rest with your eyes closed.

From what you hear, the show isn’t playing anymore and is replaced by what you assume is one of Mark’s playlists playing faintly in the background. Your eyelids flicker, not wanting to open them fully, and see Mark scrolling on his phone.

Suddenly, Johnny’s footsteps are present, causing you to immediately shut your eyes and continue your act. There’s a clinking of a glass on the table nearby. Mark says a quick thank you, followed by a small thud in the armchair adjacent to the couch.

Johnny speaks up in a lower tone than usual, likely for your benefit, “You know, you could’ve gotten up and get the drink yourself.”

“You know I don’t want to disturb her.”

You imagine Johnny rolling his eyes. Sips could be heard in the room above you and from the armchair, before the older of the two men chimes in again.

“So,” his voice is gentle, more careful this time. “When are you going to tell her?”

It takes so much from you to not react to the conversation. Nevertheless, you contain yourself, but with perked ears. What were they referring to? What could Mark possibly have to tell you? Both of you were thick as thieves and secrets weren’t an issue in your friendship.

No words are exchanged for some time. Other than the music, the only thing you’re aware of is Mark petting your head and casually running a few fingers through your hair.

“Soon,” you feel his body rock a little, and assume he’s nodding in response. “I’ve been figuring out the right time to say something.”

“Dude, you just gotta go for it.”

“I know. I just—what if it…”

Another pause lingers in the air. Mark inhales sharply; his breathing becomes a little shaky. Beyond the mystery of what Mark wants to tell you, you also wonder why Mark’s hesitating so much. He’s not normally this unsure of himself, or anything really.

“What if it ruins things for us?” he asks softly, with tinges of anxiety hanging from his words.

Mark can’t detect it, but your chest tightens in both sympathy over his concern for your relationship and fear of what Mark has to declare to you. The possibilities of what he has to confess run through your mind in a flash. You’re almost certain about what Mark is referring to, and it kills you to think he hasn’t told you since both of you are so close.

Johnny counters Mark nonchalantly, “You won’t know until you do it. I’m surprised she hasn’t caught on yet.”

“Is it that obvious?”

Risking a chance, you peek at the lanky man in the armchair, who is raising an eyebrow in doubt. Mark sighs and his body rocks slightly once again.

Your eyes are closed again and you exhale a small huff, processing what just occurred. You don’t know how to feel with this new information. Every touch from Mark ignites you in joy and bliss, like all the times he’s done so previously.

Regardless, if your assumption is real and true, why is he so casual and open with you physically? All the touches, the hugs, the forehead touches...

Your thoughts are spiraling the more you think, so you try your best to ignore them and indulge in the moment longer by attempting to sleep more.

Undoubtedly, the sleep doesn’t last as long as before. Feeling distant and unsure of everything, you pull away from Mark hastily when you wake before he can say anything to you and you abruptly announce that you should get going.

“You don’t want to stay for dinner?” Mark’s behind you when he inquires, yet you can see the confusion on his face from the inflection of his voice. You shake your head fervently and mumble barren excuses.

He’s standing, silently watching you put your shoes on, until he decides to add, “Wait, actually, before you go, I need to tell you something—”

You cut him off with a wave of your hand, still not wanting to face him. “I know, I know. I heard you and Johnny talking.” Mark tenses and watches you continue to put on your other shoe in shock.

“You have a girlfriend,” you state on his behalf prior to standing up to finally match his gaze.

“I get it and I’m fine with it.” The lies roll off your tongue and don’t sit well with you, but you truly don’t want to ruin what you and Mark have. “It won’t ruin—”

“Whoa, hold up,” now Mark’s the one who interjects, holding his hands out to stop you. His eyebrows furrow at your statement. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You do the same, except with an addition of a tilt of your head. “Are you sure?”

Mark chuckles, causing your guard to let down a little. “I think I’d know if I have a girlfriend or not.”

Trying to study him, you’re looking for any signs of lying or joking on his face. Mark often joshes around with you, but he can only hold his wall of lies for so long.

However, like he always did when you pressured him for dishonesty and Mark was expressing the truth, he pushed back with a flash of his genuine, saccharine smile.

You cross your arms, then lean against the hallway wall. “Then, what is it?”

In an instant, Mark’s composure is severed into broken pieces. He laughs awkwardly, prior to rubbing a hand against the back of his head and he ruffles his hair in the process.

“Uh…” his filler drones on endlessly and you keep your gaze steady on him, waiting for him to say what he’s been meaning to inform you.

“I, uh, like you. I guess.”

That is not what you’re expecting.

But it’s definitely better than hearing Mark has a girlfriend.

“You guess?” you echo him with a small smile on your face.

He clears his throat, deepens his voice, and holds his tone steady as he says it once more and deliberately makes an effort to stare back at you.

“I like you.”

The hallway lighting isn’t the best, yet how did his eyes seem to sparkle under it?

You groan and place your face into the palm of your hands.

“Are… Are you okay?” Mark comes a little closer to you and reaches out to comfort you.

“I legit thought you were talking about having a girlfriend during that entire convo,” your voice is muffled as you embarrassingly say within your palms. You drag your hands down your face.

Mark’s shaking his head and takes hold of the tips of your fingers in his after you drop your hands.

“Why would I want anyone other than you?”

You dart your face up to glance up at him.

“Really?”

He nods earnestly.

“Really.”

Both of you at this moment are staring, smiling, and giggling all at once. You bite your lip when you begin to take off your shoes.

“I guess I could stay for dinner.”

“You guess?” Mark mocks your tone from moments ago. Playfully, you punch him in the arm with tingling cheeks.

And with that response, Mark didn’t need to ask if you felt the same way about him.

#mark x reader #mark lee x reader #mark lee imagines #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct scenarios #mark lee #nct #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 #mywritings #myfanfics

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strawberrynamjoon · 4 years

Text

wine bottles & pizza boxes

– genre: delivery boy!namjoon & lovesick!reader

– word count: 17k

– summary: while desperately trying to get over your heartbreak the cute new delivery boy made it to his personal mission to make you smile whenever you were drunk and lonely. luckily, your mutual friend hoseok was more than willing to set the two of you up.

or: namjoon fell in love with you, no matter if you had a pretty dress on or a wine bottle in your hand and a puzzle piece in your hair.

– warnings: reader gets drunk a lot and is kinda an emotional mess lol, humour and crack, sope being couple of the year, whipped namjoon, kinda slow burn

– note: i finally finished this wip of mine and i hope you guys like it as much as i do. like always, this is not proofread yet, i’ll get to it soon! <3

If anyone were to see you right now, you were sure they would think you’re a complete mess, almost pathetic even and, to be quite honest, they wouldn't be wrong.

The way you were spread out on your couch, not having moved for hours, in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants, sipping the cheapest wine you could find straight out of the bottle while rewatching Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time truly wasn’t your proudest moment.

But you felt hurt and you convinced yourself that bathing in some self-pity was the only possible solution for you to get over this stupid, aching heartbreak. If any of your friends would see you like this they would surely disagree with your chosen method but you couldn’t care less. They say time heals all the wounds but for now, wine would have to do the job.

Checking your phone for how much longer your pizza will take to arrive, you noticed a text from your best friend, once again begging you to pay attention to him.

[ Yoongi: It’s been a month since he ghosted you, stop being a crybaby and come to Guk’s party tonight. I’ll even pick you up. ]

A mocking scoff escaped your lips, rolling your eyes way back into your skull. As much as you loved him, you just felt the need to be dramatic in peace – and knowing Yoongi he would never let that happen.

Deciding to leave him on read for now, you heard the doorbell ring and the excitement rushing over you was almost embarrassing, considering the fact that your pizza arriving probably would be the highlight of your whole week.

Instantly regretting checking yourself in the mirror when you realized just how terrible you looked like you tried not to think about it too much, Antonio wouldn’t care either way. You looked disgusting in the truest definition of the word – your messy bun was an actual mess, not in the cute Instagram-model-kinda-way, no. There were big strands of hair falling out of it in the back and it floppily laid on the side of your head instead of the top. Your face was swollen from the crying and the alcohol and there were three fat, red pimples growing on your cheeks.

Luckily, you and Antonio, your standard delivery guy, by now were over having to impress each other. He has seen you in that state more often than your actual friends at this point and he didn’t have to act all nice in front of you anymore, your nagging banter the only social interactions you sometimes had for weeks. Thinking about it for a second it was almost pitiful that your closest friend was a man in his mid fifties who was supplying you with greasy food but you didn’t care, at least Antonio would never ghost you out of nowhere.

More relationships should be like yours and Antonios: Both of you did not annoy the other one, just exchanged a polite smile and some snarky comments every now and then and that was it.

Opening the door, you felt a genuine smile on your face, excited for the pizza you were about to eat, “Antonio, I was never happier to see –”

But before you could end your sentence you were surprised by a new face, a more handsome and younger face than Antonio’s wide and round face and grey hair. The young man in front of you had glowing, tan skin, plump lips and was not only tall but also equally broad.

Looking at such a handsome man your own age, you became awfully aware of how you looked right now, feeling terribly hideous.

“You’re not Antonio,” the disappointment in your voice was hard to go miss.

The man in front of you started to chuckle and you were met with two deep and extraordinary cute dimples that made him look much nicer. Before you saw them he seemed kind of intimidating but as soon as he smiled there was not a single intimidating thing left about him.

“Believe it or not, I’m very well aware of that,” his deep voice sent shivers down your spine, “I’m Namjoon. And I’m very sorry to disappoint you, but at least I still have the pizza you ordered.”

He pointed to the pizza box on the ground and you just wanted him to leave as soon as possible, not wanting him to have to look at the misery you were for any second longer.

“Well, you’re just as good as Antonio then,” you stated, flashing him a bright smile.

“If that’s all it takes to make you happy your boyfriend must be living a happy life,” he mumbled under his breath without looking at you as he got the pizza box out of his carrier. His standards must be very low if he was flirting with you even in your current state but at least he managed to boost your self esteem a little bit.

You already pictured the little scenarios coming into your mind with the man you just met a few seconds ago and you hated yourself for how easy it is for you to fall in love with a complete stranger. But if all it took to distract yourself from the heartbreak you were going through was a handsome pizza delivery guy you would most definitely take that.

Handing you the box he gave you yet another one of those dimpled smiles and you wished you could take a picture of it, “I hope you can still enjoy it even if Antonio is gone now.”

Now you furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean he’s gone? Like, forever? I assumed he just has a day off.”

“Oh no, he actually got fired,” he answered with a shrug.

“Wow first I got ghosted and now Antonio left me too, I thought at least he would stay,” a playful pout formed on your lips.

The delivery boy, or Namjoon as he introduced himself to you, seemed to be amused by your dramatic acting, joining in immediately, “He has a wife and children. You should’ve known better than to get attached.”

With a smile on your lips, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “I know but he always brought me free sauce even though I didn’t order it and I just fell in love with his kind actions.”

“That’s absolutely against the policy,” Namjoon stated amused, “and probably the reason he got fired.”

The smile was still sitting on your lips as you nodded to him, ready to go back inside, “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Namjoon asked with a confused expression on his face, wondering what exactly would happen tomorrow.

“Yes, tomorrow,” you simply stated without any further explanation as you shut your door and walked back to the living room.

You immediately smiled as you replayed the previous encounter in your head. He didn’t even really flirt with you but just the fact that a good looking man stood in front of your door was enough to make you smitten at this point. God, Yoongi was right, you truly were lonely.

Just as you were thinking of the devil your phone vibrated, his name on the screen as he was calling you.

“Whats up? You’re crying or what?” you heard your closest friend on the other line of the phone. To others, the way you and Yoongi talked to each other might seem a bit harsh or cold but in reality, you were as close as two people could be even though none of you would ever admit it out loud.

“I fell in love,” you started and immediately got interrupted.

“I already pity the new man. Who is he?” Yoongi asked, the surroundings loud and you were sure he was on the way to a party.

“You’ll only make fun of me if I tell you,” you pouted, knowing the teasing will never stop if you tell your best friend about your newest crush.

“Me? Making fun of you? Never!” the sarcasm in his voice was thick and you could hear his stupid grin through the phone.

“It’s the delivery guy,” you tried to sound as unbothered as possible but because Yoongi knew you like the back of his hand it was pointless.

“(Y/n) –” he started, taking in a deep breath, “I know you’re lonely but Antonio? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

You laughed, realizing that maybe you should’ve stated your words differently, “Antonio got replaced by a handsome, tall guy. don’t worry, I am not that desperate yet.”

“What do you mean Antonio got replaced? Does this mean we actually have to buy the dip now whenever we order?” Yoongi seemed to be genuinely upset about the fact that he might pay a buck more from now on.

“I’m afraid we have to but at least we can look at a cute buy and talk about how cute he is whenever we do order,” you joked.

“I don’t think we should do that in front of Hoseok, he’s crazy and might kill the delivery guy if he hears me talking about a cute guy,” Yoongi chuckled like he always did when he talked about Hoseok and you rolled your eyes, those goddamn couples all around you making you feel awfully single, “Anyway, we’re celebrating at our place on saturday, you have to come. No excuses accepted, I don’t care if you cry in the bathroom because you’re a sad bitch, you’re still coming.”

“Great, I’ll hate it,” you let out a sigh before hanging up.

Despite threatening your best friend that you’d rather kill yourself than attend a party in your current emotional state, you somehow still found yourself at Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s dorm, getting drunk at their stupid party. You should have known better, in the end he always annoys you until you gave in, it would’ve spared you a lot of discussions.

“Hey Hoseok,” you greeted tonight’s host and good friend with a hug and he gave you a low whistle as he saw you all dressed up. Hoseok was, next to Yoongi, one of the people you could always depend on. When Yoongi introduced his boyfriend to you many years ago you first weren’t sure if their relationship had a real chance since Hoseok seemed to be the complete opposite of Yoongi but by now it was almost impossible to imagine one without the other.

“I didn’t think that I would see you here,” he gave you an appreciating and welcoming smile and you immediately felt at home – Hoseok had this power, always making you feel comfortable, “We missed you. Yoongi wouldn’t admit it, but he did too.”

And so did you – you were aware that ghosting the majority of your friends wasn’t the nicest thing you could’ve done but you were feeling blue, not wanting to talk to anyone else than your neighbor’s cat and the moon.

A small apologetic pout formed on your lips, “Missed you too. I promise I’ll come around more often again.”

On your way to the living room, you studied the people around you – most of them you knew but a few of them you never saw before. It still amazes you how, even after several years of being friends, you still didn’t know all of Hoseok’s friends. This man was like a puppy on the loose, making friends and fans everywhere he’d go.

A few people were busy playing beer pong, Jeongguk and Taehyung had the most concentrated expression you had ever seen on their faces and you wished they would’ve taken your many group projects back in college as serious as this match. Another few familiar faces were chatting and smoking in the kitchen, all of them sitting on the ground. Yoongi sat right in front of the fridge that was probably filled with nothing but a few beers, knowing that’s the typical lifestyle Yoongi and Hoseok had going on.

One could argue that after graduating and finding real jobs their need to party every weekend would vanish but no, they still were the exact same.

You felt a bit lost, not knowing where to go. As you arrived the party was already in full swing, everyone had their spot and you felt almost left out for a second, wondering who you should hold onto for the night.

After grabbing a bottle of cheap champagne from the kitchen, you decided to check out the living room – much to your luck, you found an empty space between Hoseok and Jimin on the couch, gladly getting comfortable between the two friends who were currently discussing which Team would win.

“It’ll be Jeongguk’s for sure,” you threw your thoughts into the conversation, “Come on, it’s Jeongguk. He never loses, we all know that.”

Jimin nodded his head eagerly, agreeing with you, “That’s what I am saying too! It’s two versus one now.”

Hoseok, who didn’t even look at you because he was so invested in watching Taehyung’s every move shook his head, “Tae trained a lot and got so good at it. I think he might stand a chance.”

Just as you clinked your cups with Jimin, ready to get tipsy, Jeongguk noticed you and his smile went wide, reaching his eyes.

“(Y/N),” he shouted over the music from the corner of the living room, “Join us. We’re missing one team member anyways.”

“I hate beer,” you yelled back, “I’d rather die than drink this cold piss.”

He rolled his eyes, not taking a no as an answer. “I’ll drink it for you, I just need someone who actually can aim, unlike this idiot here,” his voice was frustrated while pointing to Seokjn.

“Respect your elders,” Seokjin started scolding as he was aiming to throw the ball in his hand - and then, just like expected, he missed the cup completely.

“See, please, you have to save us,” Jeongguk came over to you, extending his hand to help you up from the couch and you decided to join him before he and Seokjin would start fighting. It’s been quite some time since you played beer pong with your friends but back then, you always did quite a decent job at it.

Before it was your turn, Jeongguk and Taehyung both scored another goal, gulping down their cups within seconds. There were four full cups of beer left in front of you and you prayed that you wouldn’t have to drink one of them. Why couldn’t they play this stupid game with something that actually tasted alright?

Glancing up, ready to shoot your shot your breath stopped for a second as you saw your opponent – Taehyung just recruited a new member for his team from the kitchen because he claimed that if Jeongguk could add a player midgame so could he. But you didn’t expect to be the new member of his team someone you’ve seen before, in a different situation.

“Pizza girl,” Namjoon exclaimed amused, his dimples seemed to be even deeper than you remembered them and he seemed to be pretty tipsy already judging by his pronunciation, “you look different.”

His relaxed aura immediately made you relax too, not even questioning for a second as to where in the world he knew Yoongi and/or Hoseok from. You did make a mental note to check with your friends about that later though.

“The power of make-up and a shower,” you shrug while throwing your ball and – the ball landed right inside of it, Namjoon chuckling as he gave you a thumbs up.

Jeongguk gave you a high five and ruffled your hair a bit, something he always did when he got drunk. Quite funny to compare this Jeongguk with the shy boy you met in the beginning of college but you were happy that he opened up to all of your friends and became a part of your group.

“Where do you know each other from?” Taehyung asked Namjoon, curiousity sparkling in his eyes.

“He stole Antonio’s job,” you sighed dramatically before Namjoon could answer, still not over your favorite delivery man being gone forever.

Taehyung playfully shook his head in disappointment, “You stole his job? not cool, man. Antonio was like our hero in bad, hungry times.”

“Always made sure we’re not starving,” Jeongguk joined the conversation.

“Also, he was kind of sexy, not going to lie,” Jimin joked from the couch, making you laugh a bit and Hoseok gag.

Namjoon threw his hands into the air as if he’s giving up a fight he didn’t even participate in. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sounded defeated, playing along with your shenanigans, “I understand I’ll never be him but I’m trying my best.”

Just in that moment Yoongi walked into the living room. His arm wrapping around your shoulder, the unexpected touch instantly letting you know that he was drunk because otherwise, he wouldn’t put his arm around you. Not that you minded, it was just something unusual for Yoongi.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, confusion written all over his face, “Who is Namjoon trying to compete with?”

“Apparently he took over Antonio's job,” Hoseok informed his boyfriend amused, “And now we’re mourning over the loss of our beloved Antonio.”

Yoongi knew that Namjoon just started a new job as a delivery guy and he also heard that Antonio got fired before, wondering where he knew that from. As he studied your face, you could see his brain working, putting one and one together.

He knew about Antonio from you. The memory of your conversation came back to his slightly intoxicated mind – you told him about Antonio being fired, but more importantly, you told him about your newest addition to the many men that you crushed on. No one else than the man who replaced Antonio. Which also meant, no one else than Namjoon.

His eyes widened and stared a hole into your soul. After being friends for so many years you two mastered the art of communicating with nothing but glances and his current face was asking you if you were actually talking about his friend on the phone a few days ago.

As you wondered where Yoongi knew that guy from and how in the world you never met him before, not even heard his name, you gave him a small, embarrassed nod followed by a slightly pleading glance back, begging him not to tell anyone.

You could tell he was trying not to burst out into laughter at the situation – of course, out of all the people in the world it had to be someone he knew. But at least he gave you an approving smile afterwards, almost as if to give you his blessing, something very rare. Most of the time Yoongi wasn’t a big fan of your crushes, not only because he knew you fell in love with a different stranger every other week but also because, in his opinion, you had a terrible taste when it came to men.

“Guys, (y/n) and Yoongi are doing their weird talking without talking thing again,” Jeongguk’s voice almost sounded annoyed, scrunching his nose a bit.

For a second you didn’t realize the tall figure that came over to you and Yoongi, his hands buried in the kangaroo pocket of his grey oversized hoodie in which you’d look very adorable, just saying.

Namjoon startled you a bit and you tried not to choke on your own spit as you noticed him.

“(Y/N), huh? Nice to meet you again, officially this time,” he gave you a soft smile and you felt pathetic for wanting to stare at him smiling forever, wondering how many girls were in love with him you bet he could have almost every girl looking like that.

Flashing him a cheeky smile, you nodded, “Nice to meet you too again, officially. I had no idea you know my friends.”

Hoseok stood up from the couch and interrupted the two of you, teasing you a bit, “Better get used to her. She doesn’t know how to cook, you’ll see her daily from now on.”

Scoffing, Yoongi shook his head, “Honestly, Namjoon might be an even worse cook than she is.”

Namjoon chuckled and in your mind you already knew once you were drunk enough and gathered enough confidence you had to poke your fingers in them.

“I have your number on speed dial,” you joked, a grin on your face.

“Living the unhealthy lifestyle I see,” Namjoon answered amused, “I can identify myself with that.”

Before you could continue talking to Namjoon, Jeongguk grew impatient beside you. He almost pouted while he dragged you back to the table, “We have a match to win, get your head in the game.”

And about twenty minutes later, you, Seokjin and Jeongguk were loudly celebrating victory with high-fives and hugs while Taehyung’s team was mourning over their loss.

“Next round!” Jeongguk annouced solemnly, “That is if you can handle another loss, Taehyung?”

Taehyung scoffed between his laughter, “I’ll crush you, Jeon Jeongguk, you just wait.”

“Your team has no chance against us,” Jeongguk laughed while refilling the empty cups with beer.

“You have to do without (y/n) though,” Hoseok announced from his space from the couch, “We have to snatch her away for a bit.”

Apologizing to a grumpy Jeongguk, you made your way to your two favorite people in the world, sitting down right beside Yoongi and Hoseok.

The shit-eating grin on both of their faces already gave them away and you knew exactly why they wanted to talk to you. Hoseok handed you a drink and you took it, knowing that you needed a bit more alcohol in your system for the upcoming teasing.

“So, you have your eyes on Namjoon I heard,” Hoseok giggled joyfully.

Glaring at Yoongi, you rolled your eyes, “I wonder who told you about that.”

Yoongi shrugged, with the same grin plastered on his face, “He’s a good guy, I know it doesn’t matter because you’re emotionally unable to have a real relationship but I would still support it.”

Hoseok hit Yoongi’s chest lightly, almost as if he was telling him not to be too mean to you even though everyone knew that you’d never talk without thick sarcasm to each other. Turning back to you, he raised his eyebrow before proposing, “I could easily set you up. I already have a plan in my head.”

You shook your head heavily, a short laugh escaping from you, “No, don’t worry. I don’t even know him, let me talk to him in peace first. I might come back to it though.”

Hoseok was known to be the matchmaker of your group – by now he must have tried to set up almost everyone of his friends with a pretty good success rate. But you prefered to take things into your own hands and he always respected that.

“So, are you over Jay?” Yoongi asked in a careful and caring tone, knowing it was still a sensitive topic.

And for a second the question caught you off guard. You weren’t over him yet, no, but you were at least wanting to get over it. That was at least something, right?

“Not really yet,” letting out a deep sigh, you pressed your lips together a bit, “I’m working on it I guess.”

His eyes narrowed a bit as he was trying to figure out how you actually were doing, “And with that you mean you’re actually working on it or do you mean you’re getting drunk and eat too much junk food all the time?”

Despite you being reminded about your heartbreak you managed to crack a smile, “I don’t see any difference in those methods.”

“Namjoon,” before Yoongi could scold you, Hoseok suddenly started yelling, “Come over here for a second, will you?”

Panicking, your eyes widened, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”

He gave you an amused glance, “God’s work.”

And within seconds, Namjoon was standing right in front of you, “Hi guys, what’s up?”

Hoseok gestured for him to sit down next to you on the small space left on the couch and he did as he was told, “Since you’re our pizza expert from now on we need you to help us resolve a burning question we have been discussing about for forever.”

Laughing, Namjoon’s attention was fully diverted to the three of you, “I wouldn’t call myself a pizza expert but I hope I can mediate.”

You rubbed your forehead, knowing exactly what Hoseok was on about, “Hoseok, don’t make him go through –“

He shushed you lovingly before you could finish, “Our little (y/n) right here claims that pineapple pizza is ordered as often as the classics just like peperoni pizza or ham pizza. And I say that’s bullshit. Pineapple pizza is not as popular as the classics, right?”

“To my defence,” you started, turning to Namjoon to tell him your point of view, “I never said that it deserves to be a classic. But I do believe that there’s a reason for the whole pineapple on pizza discussion and I think that reason is that a lot more people than you’d think actually enjoy it and they started fighting for pineapple on pizza rights.”

Yoongi was rubbing his temple in frustration, butting in, “They have fighting about this for two years now. Two whole years

Namjoon cackled at the heated discussion in front of him, before trying to put on a serious face, “Okay, I think I am the answer to your question. I definitely deliver as many pineapple pizzas as I deliver peperoni or ham pizzas. The only one that beats those three is a good old margherita.”

“HA! I told you so,” you teased Hoseok whose mouth stood wide open at the betrayal of his friend, “When will you learn that I am always right?”

Standing up, Hoseok chuckled while he shook his head in disbelief, “If you’d excuse me, I need a stronger drink to deal with this information.”

“You’re just a bad loser,” you yelled after him, celebrating your victory once again.

“Now I have to deal with his whiny ass, thank you very much,” Yoongi chuckled half-jokingly, half serious, “Good job, Namjoon. I better go after him.”

“I didn’t know that it was such a sensitive topic,” Namjoon laughed, almost feeling bad. You couldn’t help but notice how close he was sitting to you still. Yoongi and Hoseok for sure know how to set someone up even though you told them not to get involved, “Funny to see that Hobi is still bad at losing.”

“Hobi?” you asked curious, “I never heard someone calling him that before. Where does that come from?”

Namjoon was taking a sip of his drink before his eyes widened a bit, “I forgot that people don’t use that nickname for him anymore. We used to call him Hobi in middle school.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you’re a high school friend of his,” your face brightened, “Tell me what he was like in high school. I bet he was a handful.”

The boy beside you scrunched his face for a second and you made sure to save as much as you could to your mind, “He was just as happy and bright as today. We used to be super close but I left home when we went to college and yeah, now after graduating, I came back home.”

“Welcome back then,” you threw him a warm smile before holding up your cup, “Cheers to a new friend in the group.”

Both of you took a sip of your drink before Namjoon got a bit more comfortable on the couch, his back now resting against the pillows behind him and naturally manspreading a bit, enough to make you go insane inside.

Mirroring his actions, you leaned back too, tilting your body a bit towards his, body language making sure that no one got the idea to interrupt your conversation.

“How do you know Hobi?” Namjoon asked with curiousity in his eyes. It might be a thing he does with everyone but his attention seemed to be laying completely on you as you were talking, holding eye contact constantly.

“Yoongi and I have been best friends since our childhood and one day he introduced me to Hoseok with the words ‘This is my boyfriend. Oh, and also I’m bisexual’, I will never forget that,” you laughed, “Ever since then Hoseok and I became friends. He’s too good for Yoongi if you ask me.”

Namjoon seemed to be interested in whatever you were saying, even though you didn’t really say anything interesting. The two of you were talking about everything, your college degrees, he told you he is working as a delivery guy for now to take a break and next year he’ll start to work, you talked about the town and the people attending the party – it was easy talking to him but that might have been thanks to the alcohol.

The rest of the night was rather calm much to your liking, you spent some more time with Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon before you and Jeongguk decided to go home together because you lived in the same apartment complex.

You couldn’t help but think of Namjoon’s kind eyes all the way home, almost not listening to Jeongguk rambling about the boy was into (he wouldn’t say his name but all of your friends knew he was talking about Taehyung) because your mind was full of Hoseok’s best friend from high school.

Yoongi said that lately, you’ve been drinking alone a bit too often and you knew he was right – so once again, you were sitting on your couch but tonight, you didn’t feel half as sad as usually. The prosecco you were drinking made you feel giddy as you actually took care of yourself for once instead of crying your eyes out.

You almost felt good with the face mask sitting on your face for way longer than was recommended, your hair up in curlers as you were wearing your favorite pajama. The bedsheets you stole from your bedroom to cover you on the couch were freshly changed, your favorite playlist was blasting from the speakers and while cleaning earlier you found an old puzzle you were currently trying to finish.

And, on top of that, your favorite pizza was on its way, brought to you by no one else than the man that could possibly be the cure for your heartbreak.

You were surprised that you were in such a good mood. There were two possibilities: Either you were slowly going insane or you actually were getting better. Fingers crossed it was the second one.

As you were waiting for the pizza to arrive you finished the whole bottle of prosecco and you could feel the alcohol running through your veins when you got up after the door rang.

Taking step after step slowly, afraid you’d fall, you giggled to yourself. The way you were walking looked ridiculous, enough to make your drunk self laugh.

Opening the door, your smile grew as wide as it could when you saw Namjoon in front of you, his expression mirroring your own.

“Happy to see me?” he asked you, arching an eyebrow.

Nodding, you felt a hiccup coming up your throat, almost embarrassed when it came out but Namjoon’s chuckle told you that he found it rather cute.

“You always make my days better,” you sing-sang happily.

He was clearly amused by the state you were in, getting out the pizza for you, “Are you sure it’s me who makes them better or is it only the cause of my visits?”

You shrugged playfully, “It’s a mixture of both. But mainly, you’re right, it’s the greasy gift of god your visits are connected with.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second, staring at your hair before another amused chuckle escaped his lips, shaking his head amused, “There’s a puzzle piece in your hair.”

Before you could do it, his hand was in your hair, fiddling with it a bit to free the piece out of it. Handing it to you, he let out a laugh – and you already thought his small chuckles were cute but the laugh of this man was on yet another level.

“Once again, you’re my knight in shining amour,” you smirked, the playful banter just adding to your positive mood, “I was looking for that, I was already frustrated because I was missing one piece.”

Namjoon’s eyes grew wide, a bit surprised, “You’re actually puzzling?”

“Well, where do you think that piece came from?”

Somehow, you noticed, Namjoon always had a soft expression on his face, as if he was admiring everything around him. It would be a privilege to be the one who gets to wake up next to that face.

“You’ve got a point there,” he nodded, “I just haven’t seen anyone puzzling in probably fifteen years.”

“What a shame, you should try it,” you told him, “I promise it’s fun.”

“So, you’re alone, drunk and puzzling all by yourself?” Namjoon seemed to be amused, “I can’t tell if that is the saddest or cutest thing I’ve seen in a while.”

You raised your eyebrow while biting down your lip in order not to laugh at his attempt of flirting and he panicked as soon as he realized what he just said, mumbling fastly, “I mean, I definitely have to try it again. I will for sure soon. You got me hooked on the idea now.”

Now you couldn’t help it but let a small chuckle escape, nodding your head, “I surely still have a few old puzzles lying around here somewhere. Why don’t you just text me and I’ll tell you when I found them. I’ll hand them down to you.”

Namjoon’s hand was nervously playing with the nape of his hair on his neck and you made a note in your head that apparently drunk and sober Namjoon were two completely different people. “I don’t have your number though.”

Still chuckling, you took out your pizza out of the delivery box yourself because Namjoon seemed to be too starstruck to do so, “You do. It’s on the delivery note.”

Embarrassed, he now let out a laugh too, “Oh, you’re right. Well, I’ll definitely make use of that then.”

Nodding, you started to close the door, “I sure hope so. Have a quiet and relaxing night, Namjoon.”

“You too,” he managed to say before you closed the door, “Enjoy your pizza.”

You were a smiling mess as you made your way back to the living room where the intro of the next episode of Gilmore Girls was playing and the next bottle of prosecco was waiting for you.

In your head you were replaying the little encounter, getting your pizza out of the plastic bag it was in – only to see yet another thing that made your heart melt.

On top of the box were two dips, one of them had a little sticky note attached to it.

[ Only an amateur like Antonio would put one extra dip. Real guys like me put two. Enjoy your meal, (y/n) :) ]

You giggled while taking a picture of the note and sending it to Yoongi in an instant to keep him updated.

Just as you hit the send button another message came in from an unknown number – Namjoon didn’t wait to text you and you thought that was very cute, you hated nothing more than guys thinking it’s cool to let someone wait for days before they texted.

[ Namjoon: What kind of puzzles do you have? I want a cool one with a Star Wars picture on it or something like that. P.s.: I hope I chose the right dips, if not let me know which ones you prefer.]

If you weren’t whipped for him yet now you surely were. He most likely didn’t care about puzzles one bit and had no actual desire to puzzle but if it was a good enough reason to keep up a conversation with him you would talk to him about puzzles for weeks.

[ You: I can offer you cute baby cats in a cup or one of those sunflower babys. I might have a Disney one somewhere but it had 2000 pieces.]

Not even three minutes later, Namjoon texted you back – making you wonder how in the world he was able to text you during work but you wouldn’t question it any further.

[ Namjoon: So what you’re saying is you don’t think I can handle 2000 pieces? Challenge accepted. And if I am not able to do it in the end I always can ask you for help right?]

If anyone told you that you and your delivery guy would be flirting while talking about puzzles together a few weeks ago you wouldn’t have believed them but you most definitely weren’t complaining – what an interesting guy.

“Happy birthday my baby,” Hoseok said as he hugged you tight. Right after that, Yoongi did the same, even giving you a pat on your head – you knew it was a special day when Yoongi showed you physical affection.

“Yeah, happy birthday you annoying angel,” Yoongi smirked, “I hope we’re the last ones to arrive.”

Of course they were. No matter where you were going, Yoongi was always the last person to arrive. He said it’s because it’s his ‘branding’ but you were pretty sure it was just him not being able to time anything right.

Everyone was already there – not that you invited a lot, just Jeongguk and Taehyung, Seokjin and his lovely girlfriend Mina, Jimin, your best friend Norah and last and also latest, Yoongi and Hoseok.

You wanted nothing more for your special day than just a small gathering with a bit of alcohol and a lot of fun, just talking and playing Mario Kart all night long like you all did back in college.

“Open our present,” Hoseok insisted while hanging up his and his boyfriend’s coat and you wouldn’t let him tell you twice.

Opening the envelope Yoongi unlovingly pressed into your hands when he entered your eyes went wide, a small gasp escaping your lips.

“No way,” you were more than surprised as you were holding four tickets to your favorite musical, “how did you convince Yoongi to agree?”

Shrugging, Hoseok send you a mysterious smile, “I have my ways. I can’t wait to go, we wanted to go for such a long time.”

Hugging both of them tightly, you even managed to press a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek, “Who’s the fourth ticket for though?”

“Up to you, it’s a double date, you’ll find some guy,” Yoongi shrugged before a mischievious spark found its way into his eyes, “Maybe you can return the favor to a certain someone who nowadays risks his jobs to sneak extra dips into your order?”

“Wait, what did I miss?” Hoseok asked you with wide eyes before turning to his boyfriend, “Are you keeping important information from me?”

You shook your head, immediately disagreeing, “It’s nothing. Namjoon just gave me extra dips when I ordered a few days ago, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” Hoseok gasped, in his head he was already planning your wedding, “That’s so romantic. He kept in mind that Antonio always did it for you and now he’s doing the same for you. I never knew Namjoon could be such a romantic dude.”

You let out a laugh, amused by Hoseok’s reaction, “It’s just dip, Hoseok. We’re not getting married.”

“They are texting though,” Yoongi added fuel to the fire, “She sent me screenshots. He even used emojis.”

The grin on Hoseok’s face was now manifested as you were slowly making your way to the living room where the music was coming from and the others were already playing drinking games, “He never once used emojis with me.”

“Young love must be so beautiful,” Yoongi teased you as he was letting himself fall down on his usual spot on the couch. Sometimes you wondered why out of all the people he was destined to be your best friend.

Knowing how nosy your friends are, all of them were immediately bombading you with questions.

“Who is in love?” Jeongguk’s eyes darted up from the cards he was holding on his hand, panic in his eyes visible. Surely, he thought it was about him and Taehyung – it was an open secret that they had a thing for each other.

“Soon, it won’t be me if this loser right here keeps on losing at this game,” Seokjin nagged his girlfriend, giving her thigh a small squeeze.

Before you could say anything, Norah joined the others, “I can’t believe you’re in love and didn’t tell me anything about it. Finally over Jaehyun, thank god.”

Ouch. While you were doing better day by day you still didn’t have to be reminded of the guy who ghosted you recently on your birthday.

“Guys, our little (y/n) will soon be off the market,” Hoseok announced happily, “She and Namjoon are going straight towards the dating stage.”

You facepalmed yourself, shaking your head, “That is an absolute lie, guys. Don’t believe anything Hoseok says. I am very single right now and will continue to be in the future.”

“Sure,” Yoongi scoffed, filling an empty glass with some liquor that was standing around, “As if Hoseok will let that happen. Once his mind is set it’s over for you anyways. That’s how he got me too.”

“It would be very nice if stopped talking about my love life for now,” you playfully warned them with killing glances, “It’s my birthday, you have to listen to me after all.”

Jeongguk raised his glass, gesturing for everyone to do the same, “To our beloved (y/n). May the new year of her life be filled with fun, love and more sex than the last one.”

“God knows she needs it,” Seokjin yelled as all of your glasses clinked and you were gulping down the bitter liquor in your cup.

The night went by much to your liking: Filled with laughter, reminicising old memories, one of them including that one time Yoongi yeeted a full water bottle against your temple, drinking and the feeling of being together, right where you belonged.

Of course, Hoseok out of all people brought up the brilliant idea to order some pizza – not going to lie, despite the ulterior motive Hoseok definitely had, it would not have been a normal night if you didn’t get pizza at one point.

You were sure that everytime your friends were over at your place you ordered pizza, it was the most normal thing but with Hoseok’s sheepish grin as he ordered you suddenly felt like it wasn’t the best idea.

Seeing Namjoon in combination of him bringing something as delicious as pizza was a birthday present in itself but you just had a bad feeling about Hoseok already plotting something you couldn’t see coming right now in the back of his mind.

The door bell rang around 10.45, the evening just getting started and you were unable to open it, due to you being entangled between Seokjin’s and Norah’s limbs in a heated game of Twister that you were not willing to lose.

“Ask him to come too after his shift is over,” you ordered Hoseok as he was jumping up from his space on the couch to open it for you, “It would be rude not to ask.”

Hoseok scoffed, shaking his head, “You really think I wouldn’t have done that anyway?”

Namjoon was rather surprised to see Hoseok open the door but he figured out that there was a small gathering going on as soon as he heard the screams from the living room – luckily he wasn’t around to see you sandwiched between your friends after Seokjin decided he had enough of you two and just let himself fall on top of you with his whole weight crushing you.

“I was already worried as to why (Y/N) ordered seven pizzas tonight,” Namjoon let out a laugh as he greeted Hoseok with a fast handshake.

Hoseok knew that he couldn’t be too obvious with Namjoon about his plans – he was sure that he could get it to work between the two of you but he knew his oldest friend, he might be smart but he also was the clumsiest guy on earth, especially when it came to girls.

He chuckled, “It’s her birthday today, we’re celebrating in a small round.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened, instantly feeling bad for not knowing that today was your special day, “You should’ve told me. I would’ve texted her about it earlier then. Now it’s almost too late.”

Hoseok nodded, a suspicious smile on his lips, “I would have if you wouldn’t have kept it a secret from me that you’re talking to her in the first place.”

He offered Hoseok a helpless smile, almost apologetic, “Sorry, I forgot to mention it. We’re not even really talking. She just orders pizza a lot and I got her number from the delivery note.”

“Sure, sure,” Hoseok answered, making sure Namjoon knew that he didn’t believe him a single word, “No need to make excuses. She’s cute, I’m not blind. When do you get off today?”

Checking his watch for a second he didn’t notice you coming around the corner, “In fifteen minutes. You’re my last delivery, just have to bring back the car after this.”

“You should come over after,” his voice made him look up, almost seeming surprised to see you at your own home, “You can’t say no, it’s my birthday.”

He broke into a smile, nodding instantly, “Happy birthday, (y/n). I’ll see you in twenty, alright?”

“Don’t let me wait too long,” you almost sing-sang as you took a few of the pizza cartons from his hand, turning your back to him and Hoseok again as you walked to the living room.

Namjoon let out a frustrated sigh after you were gone when he saw the teasing glance of his friend.

“You’re whipped already dude,” Hoseok let out a laugh as he took the other pizzas, “See you in a few minutes. Be fast, I’ll make sure that she’s drunk when you arrive. She gets even chattier when she’s under the influence. I can’t wait for my newest project.”

As he came back and all of you sat around your living room table, ready to eat and chat and taking a break of the games you were playing you felt excited. It was embarrassing and probably childish but the thought of Namjoon coming over later made you feel almost giggly.

When the doorbell rang again you were quick to get up and make sure you were the one opening it.

You were still pretty sober and a part of you wanted it to stay that way just so you could take in Namjoon sober, not influenced by anything else.

But as you opened the door, you instantly knew that you actually might need more alcohol tonight than ever before.

“Jay,” your voice was thin and you had to clear your throat in order for it to come back, “What are you doing here?”

Instead of Namjoon’s face you were greeted with his and not only did you not want to see him, you also didn’t want to be reminded of him at all.

“It’s your birthday and I know it was mean of me to –” he started to explain, flowers and chocolate in his hand but you had to interrupt him. You just had to stop him from talking before you could allow him to hurt you again.

You might play around with Yoongi and claim you’re falling in love with every second pretty face you meet but the truth is that you barely ever let anyone in and Jay once again was the living proof on why you should keep it that way.

You liked him, you truly did – you could see yourself with him, in a serious and loving relationship. Jay and you had good sex, you could easily have a serious conversation with him in one second and then almost die of laughter in the next, you talked every single day, he called you before going to bed and everything seemed perfect.

Until one day, it didn’t. It all went down really fast – first he didn’t call anymore, the next day he barely responded to your texts, a few days later he didn’t even talk to you at all anymore.

You remember calling him drunk one night and he actually picked up for once only to tell you that you needed to respect his opinion. And you wanted to – you were the last one to run after a guy but the way he ghosted you just seemed unfair to you.

“Stop it, please,” you let out a long sigh, eyelids closing as you were trying to control the anger building in your stomach, “You have to leave right now.”

But you knew Jay and his stubborn self, he wouldn’t leave easily, “You don’t have to invite me in but please let me explain.”

Rubbing your temple in distress you almost considered hearing him out, almost got weak for a second. But then you thought about all the times you cried your eyes out over him, you got drunk and ate like shit and didn’t take care of yourself anymore, you were so lovesick you even skipped your friends’ parties and on the worst days you didn’t even have the energy to answer their texts.

You were still hurting, still wondering about why you weren’t good enough and how he could leave so easily when you were having such a hard time to get over him but that didn’t mean you were weak.

Just because it still hurt didn’t mean you had to hear him out.

Wrinkles formed on Jaehyun’s forehead as he desperately tried to get your attention, “Give me one more chance.”

Luckily, the anger overpowered the sadness inside of you as you heard those words out of his mouth. For weeks you were longing to hear those words and go back to normal but that was no more.

“Are you completely insane?” your eyes widened furiously, your nails lightly pressing itself into the palm of your hands, “How dare you come here on my birthday and act like this? After all you’ve done.”

Jay nodded, his hand trying to get ahold of your shoulder to make you look at him but you didn’t let him touch you. “I know I sound insane but I can’t be without you.”

A scoff was all you could offer him as an answer, not believing that he had the balls to say stuff like that, “Go get some help, Jay.”

Before he could say anything, you heard Yoongi’s sarcastic chuckle from behind you, also not believing his eyes, “Everything okay (Y/N)?”

“Yoongi,” Jay almost sounded relieved to see him, “Help me out here. I’m trying to own up to my mistakes.”

Yoongi shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t seem to be as mad as you but he clearly was taking your side, “Dude, you have to let it go. You can’t just come here and make a scene.”

As if the situation at hand wasn’t bad enough, Hoseok came up from behind you at the same time Namjoon was walking to your door behind Jay.

With each passing second everything just seemed to become messier. Hoseok didn’t hate Jay, you were sure Hoseok was not even able to feel hate towards someone, but after all he did to you he certainly wasn’t very fond of him.

And what he disliked even more was someone putting stones in his way as he was trying to set you up with someone who he was sure would treat you way better than Jay ever could.

“Namjoon, thank god you’re here,” Hoseok’s voice sounded hopeful, “Jay, it’s time to leave. As you can see, you’re not needed anymore. Goodbye.”

Namjoon clearly was beyond perplexed as to what was going on – it was like he walked straight into a battlefield. He didn’t know you very well but you were clearly angry, the unfamiliar guy standing in the doorframe next to him the reason for it.

Putting one and one together fast, Namjoon understood what Hoseok meant.

“Hello,” with a fake smile, he greeted the stranger next to him, “I have no idea who you are but judging the glances (Y/N) is throwing you you’re not very welcomed.”

You were thankful that Namjoon came to your rescue – Jaehyun would not have shut up if Yoongi or Hoseok told him to but a complete new face telling him that he better should leave had an impact on him.

Stepping past him and inside Namjoon wrapped his arm around your shoulder as an obvious statement towards Jay and threw you a small, reassuring smile, “Happy birthday once again, should we go inside and have a nice evening now? Or do you still want to talk to him?”

You made a note in the back of your mind, making sure to thank Namjoon for saving you later. Who knows what the outcome would have been if he didn’t play along?

“No, let’s go,” you nodded as the four of you were turning around to leave Jay at the doorstep.

“(Y/N), you know I love you right?” you heard Jay yell after you as a last try to make you change your mind but Yoongi was quick to shut the door behind him, not having Jay’s shit anymore.

You came to a halt in your hall as Namjoon’s arm left your shoulder – you didn’t want to cry but you could feel your nose tingling and hot tears coming to you eyes as you heard him say those three words.

For a second you were unable to move, in complete shock and before you knew it, some of the tears were rolling down your face. It wasn’t like you were crying heavily, you just spilled some tears and you promised yourself right then and there that those tears would be last ones you ever cry for him.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to say with a shaking voice.

“Sorry for what?” Yoongi chuckled, wiping the tears out of your face, “For wasting so much time on a jerk like him? It’s okay, we forgive you.”

You let out a small laughter through the tears, followed by a deep breath before turning to Namjoon. What bugged you the most was that he had to witness all of that.

“Thank you for having my back there,” you told him and only saw Yoongi and Hoseok sneaking away in the corner of your eyes to once again leave you two to talk alone, “I feel a bit embarrassed to be honest.”

Namjoon shook his head reassuringly, his hand on your arm as an offer of comfort, “Nothing to be ashamed of. Whoever that guy was, and I am assuming he is or was more than a friend to you, he seemed like an asshole.”

“Was,” you informed him immediately, “Was more than a friend. The only thing he is, present tense, is just another regret of mine.”

Nodding, Namjoon looked into your eyes and offered you a smile, “Are you okay?”

“A bit hurt and agitated but more than ready to move on,” you answered him, the corners of your mouth turning into a smile.

“Good,” he chuckled before pulling you into a hug, “I didn’t get to properly congratulate you yet. You could’ve told me your birthday was coming up, now I had no time to think of a present for you.”

Waving him off, you were about to assure him that he didn’t need to get you anything at all but before you could he was already getting a small package out of his bag.

“I can’t believe you still got me something,” you lectured him but he shushed you immediately.

“Just take it and open it. It’s just something very small but I saw it at the gas station on my way here and just had to get it for you.”

You could feel your heart melting already as he gave you the present but when you opened it and realized what it was, you swear your heart was melting away like butter in the sun.

A genuine laugh bursted out from you, “A puzzle and a bottle of wine. You just gifted me a perfect evening.”

You hugged him once again, thanking him for the present. It might have been something small but the meaning behind it was big. It was thoughtful, clever, cute and actually useful. Maybe even your favorite present of the evening, right after Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s that is.

“I got the biggest one they had so if you need help with it you just have to text me,” his voice was nothing more than a mumble as he was still embracing you. Well played, Kim Namjoon.

“Oh, believe me, I will.”

No matter how much you promised yourself not to let it get to you, Jay was not giving up. Calls, texts, flowers delivered to your door. He was putting in effort and even though you appreciated it, you told him more than once that you’ll not come back.

It’s been like this ever since your birthday five days ago. A part of you was curious as to what changed in his mind for him to go back and fight for you now but you knew as soon as you let him explain you would let him in again – and letting him in again was something you desperately wanted, and needed to avoid.

So, you fell down your hole again – it was exhausting and draining to act like everything was fine when you felt confused and hurt inside.

“Don’t cry too much, will you promise me?” Yoongi asked you from the other side of the phone.

You let out a sad chuckle, “I won’t promise. I’ll bawl my eyes out tonight. I’m in the mood for crying.”

Your best friend wasn’t very quiet about how much he hated seeing you like this. It was his way of showing you he cares. He checked in with you and told you you’re a helpless mess, trying to cheer you up in his own way, “Well, then you go and be a crybaby over a guy that doesn’t even deserve you. I tried.”

You laughed at his salty words, knowing he didn’t mean them, “Why am I even friends with you?”

“Been asking myself the same question for years,” he nagged you, “I have to go now. Stop sulking, get over that loser and then distract yourself with that cute delivery guy you always talk about. Bye.”

You haven’t seen Namjoon ever since your birthday but you were texting each other every now and then. Namjoon wasn’t stupid though, he knew you were having your own problems to deal with right now, not even trying to flirt with you as long as you were struggling.

There you were, sitting in your flat all alone, not knowing what to do with yourself. The most likely option was going to bed, crying your eyes out and craving for someone to hold you. That also was the most pathetic option but you stopped caring a long time ago.

Just as you were washing your face and brushing your teeth to get ready to go to bed, even though it wasn’t even that late yet, you heard the door bell ring, ignoring it. You weren’t expecting anyone and the possibility of Jay standing outside was way too high.

What you didn’t expect was another familiar voice yelling for you, “Delivery for (y/n). I know you’re home. Your light is on, idiot.”

You fastly walked over to the door and were surprised to see Namjoon in front of you, a pitying smile on his face. It was a terrible thought for him to see you like that.

By now you knew Namjoon well enough to know that he was the last one to judge you for going through a hard time but you still hated that he probably thought you were an emotional wreck (didn’t matter that he was very right with that).

“I didn’t order anything,” you said a bit startled, not knowing what was going on.

Shrugging, he handed you a paper bag, “I know but that’s the perk of being friends with a delivery guy. Surprise deliveries.”

You almost pouted because you were so touched by Namjoon taking care of you, “You really didn’t have to.”

A grin appeared on his face, the beautiful sight of his dimples making your chest hurt a bit. Namjoon seemed to be the perfect guy, right in front of you, but you couldn’t stop mourning over some idiot, “I wanted to. Plus, I missed you.”

What pissed you off the most was that you were doing better without Jay and then he had to show up and make you fall back to square one.

You smiled at Namjoon, a genuine smile, not one of the many fake ones you had to pull off over the last few days, “You’re too good to me.”

Namjoon would be willing to do almost anything to just get a genuine smile from you. He talked to Hoseok about it a few days ago and realized that his friend was right – for whatever reason, he was more than interested in the human form of a walking disaster that stood in front of him.

A part of him knew from the beginning but the more he got to know you, the more he got to appreciate your little quirks and flaws.

As you thanked him once again after a bit of small talk you let him go back to work and sat down on the bed to see what Namjoon brought you - your stomach was growling like crazy, you didn’t even realize how hungry you were. Thank god you have a Namjoon to take care of you.

The bag had a whole pot of ice-cream, two bottles of wine and a little note in it.

[ Cry it all out & cheer up soon. Until then, here’s some comfort in the form of food and alcohol for you. ]

Your stomach was tingling reading the little message – a small pout appeared on your lips, feeling both touched by Namjoon’s cute gesture and also miserable because you wanted to over Jay already.

Not only did you want to forget Jay, even more you wanted to completely fall in love with Namjoon. You wanted to experience what kissing him would be like and being held by him at night and also waking up next to him in the morning.

And with that mindset, you swallowed down your tears, shook any thought regarding Jay out of your mind and finally blocked his number. It was about time to do that. If only Yoongi was here to witness that moment, he sure would have been proud.

It was only 11.25 p.m. – you swore it felt like the middle of the night as you checked your phone, slightly annoyed.

But after turning around in your bed for several hours, you gave up on the idea of sleep. You weren’t even tired in the first place, you just wanted this miserable day to end.

If you couldn’t fall asleep you at least could waste your time with something more fun than staring at the ceiling and overthinking every single thing you have ever done in your life.

And oh, what a peaceful night this could’ve been, full of sleep and nice dreams – if only you didn’t decide to start the puzzle Namjoon gifted to you.

This man really bought the most complicated one he could’ve found, about seventy percent of it consisting of very dark to black pieces.

Puzzling was supposed to be a stress reliever but right then you just wanted to throw it against the nearest wall, not even nearly finished with the frame even after two hours.

Getting your phone out of your pocket, you opened your messages with Namjoon.

[ You: Kim Namjoon, I am goin to kill you fr. ]

[ Namjoon: OH? What did I do now? ]

[ You: This puzzle is making me go insane, you better get your ass over here and help me with it just like you promised. ]

[ Namjoon: Won’t let you tell me twice, give me twenty minutes and don’t be mad at me, we’ll finish this together ♥ ]

You had no idea what came over you, inviting Namjoon to spend some time with you alone wasn’t something you planned on doing this soon but the texts were sent before you could think about them twice.

A mixture of nervousness and excitement formed in the pit of your stomach, almost regretting inviting him over.

But not even an hour later all the nervousness vanished and was replaced with something you haven’t felt in a long time – genuine fun with a guy you liked.

“Are you blind?” you asked laughing, “You can’t just press a piece in if it doesn’t fit, that’s not how it works.”

Namjoon was laughing too now, rubbing his temple in pain, “Didn’t you say puzzling was fun and relaxing? This is one of the worst things I did in a long time.”

“I promise, it’s fun usually. You just happened to gift me the hardest puzzle to exist,” you teased him, loving how easy talking to Namjoon was. This was the first time you two were together alone and still there was no sign of it being awkward or uncomfortable.

The two of you were joking around, the TV playing in the background but both of you were too concentrated on the puzzle, and also each other to even pay attention to it.

“I’m hungry,” you almost sounded whiny as you were looking for a specific piece you swear you saw just a minute ago, “Let’s order something from Piero’s pizza.”

A small gasp came out of Namjoon’s mouth, “You actually like our pizza? I always thought you’re just ordering that often because you wanted to see me.”

“You’re confident I see,” as a small laughter escaped your lips as you shook your head, “But I have to dissapoint you. Piero’s pizza is the best pizza in town.”

“You have terrible taste,” Namjoon was clearly not agreeing with you, his eyebrows narrowed, “I knew even someone like you has to have a flaw.”

Laughing at his cheesy remark, you decided to still order from his workplace, no matter what he said - this was your house and in that house you love and support Piero’s pizza place.

It was around one in the morning when your and Namjoon’s heartfelt laughter while eating pizza and talking about just anything that came to your mind was interrupted by the loud and annoying sound of your doorbell. By now you were close to just turning it off so you wouldn’t have to deal with Jay’s attempts anymore.

Expecting the worst, you shook your head in disbelief and mumbled, “This guy really has some nerves, showing up in the middle of the night.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows knitted together, instantly understanding who was on the other side of the door. He felt a weird feeling of being uncomfortable rushing over him.

Not because he actually felt uncomfortable with you, no, he loved every second you spend together – the thought of you maybe giving in to Jay again after all was what caused the turmoil in his stomach.

He knew it wasn’t right to feel like this, some might even say he was jealous but he couldn’t help it. Of course, he himself was aware that the two of you were nowhere near being more than friends, you barely even were friends in the first place. Namjoon was sure that to you, he was nothing more than a friend of a friend and per chance also the delivery guy of your go-to pizza place.

But Namjoon wanted it to be more so bad – he could barely explain why he had this strong urge to make you like him, why he was so interested in you in the first place. It was like an instinct of his body to try to keep you as close as possible, as if something inside of him was screaming at him to make you his.

“Should I open it?” he suggested and you looked at him with curiousity in your eyes, “Maybe if he thinks you have a new guy he’ll stop bugging you.”

You considered his offer for a second but you knew Jay well enough – Jay was too stubborn to give up and also too clever to not see right through it.

Declining his offer you pressed your lips into a thin line, “That’s very nice of you but as long as you’re not opening the door with messy hair and in boxershorts I doubt he’ll buy it. It’s 1 A.M. and a boyfriend wouldn’t wear perfectly styled hair or nice tight jeans.”

Namjoon let out a laugh, agreeing with what you said – if he was more than a friend the two of you certainly wouldn’t be dressed and sitting on the couch while puzzling at this ungodly hour.

As the doorbell rang again, you took a deep breath before yelling towards the door, “Just a second.”

Just as you were about to get up and face the idiot on the other side of the door, Namjoon stopped you.

“Just how much does this guy bug you?” he asked you.

Rubbing your temple, you let out a sigh, “I wish he would just finally stop trying. I don’t know what else I should tell him to make him stop.”

“Got you,” he then said, getting up from the couch. You weren’t sure what to expect but it certainly was nowhere near what Namjoon had in mind.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he almost sounded embarrassed, ears bright red as he pulled his hoodie over his head, a white basic shirt underneath it. Next he started to open his belt, making your eyes grew wide, “Please act like this never happened afterwards okay?”

Namjoon was stripping down his pants in front of you and it was hard to say which one of the two of you had redder cheeks. A part of you wanted to look away, the other one wanted to stare and save every second of it in the back of your mind for lonelier days. His thighs looked stone hard and your mind was filled with unholy things.

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly when his pants dropped down to the floor, in front of you a Namjoon only in boxershorts and a shirt, “I absolutely owe you one.”

He waved you off, shaking his head, “Don’t worry. I just wouldn’t have thought you’d see me only in my boxershorts tonight.”

As he was walking to the door and out of sight, the smile on your face grew wider and wider. The inappropiate thoughts rushing through your mind not helping the adrenaline in your body to calm down very soon.

You almost felt like a giddy teenager again who was about to experience her first kiss. Except for that you were an adult and you were nowhere near getting kissed - you were most likely just reading too much into the situation but you still allowed your mind to do so.

“Namjoon?” you heard a familiar voice, one that definitely was not Jaehyun’s from the door, sounding more than confused.

“Oh god,” you then heard Namjoon mumble under his breath, getting up fastly to see what kind of scenario was going down on your front door.

You were surprised with two pair of eyes, wide wide open, looking at you and Namjoon. The little smirk on Yoongi’s lips gave away that he was enjoying the awkward moment a bit too much and Hoseok’s laughter a few moments later made you let out a breathe you didn’t know you were holding.

“This is absolutely not what it looks like,” you promised, now standing next to Namjoon, “What are you even doing here?”

“We wanted to accompany your depressed ass,” Yoongi said with the widest gummy smile of him you’ve seen in a long time, “But I see you’re doing just fine without us.”

Namjoon closed his eyes in frustration, knowing exactly that the two of them will never let you live this moment down, “Why don’t you come in?”

Hoseok’s voice was higher than usual, a teasing tone in it, “You sure we’re not disturbing anything? We can leave you two lovebirds alone.”

Now also frustrated, you threw your head back, shaking your head, “Stop being a pain in the ass and come inside.”

So, there you were a few moments later, Yoongi and Hoseok sitting on your couch opposite of you and a still half naked Namjoon. It almost felt like your parents caught you with a boy in the house and now made you have the most awkward talk you probably could have.

Breaking the silence, Yoongi raised his eyebrow at you, “Glad you’re getting laid again.”

In an instant you threw him a warning glance, shushing him, “I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

“Why are you so tense about it?” Hoseok asked curious yet the smile never left his lips, “We were rooting for you anyways.”

“We weren’t having sex or anything like that,” Namjoon started to explain to his friends what happened. He told them that the two of you texted each other every now and then, about the food he brought you earlier, you asking him to come over, the two of you just puzzling and drinking wine up to the point where you thought Jaehyun was on the other side of the door.

“That’s all that happened,” you hold your hands up as if you were pleading not guilty, “No sex, no making out, not even holding hands.”

Your friends looked at each other, still with suspicious smiles and mischief in their eyes.

“What is there to smirk about now?” you almost whined, not wanting to discuss this awkward situation any longer.

As much as you loved your friends, you just wanted them to leave again. Namjoon and you were just getting to know each other and god knows how much teasing from these two he could take.

The evening was so much fun and you were sure that Namjoon and you could go into the direction you wanted to, if only your friends didn’t decide to cockblock you.

“Nothing, nothing,” Hoseok assured you, shrugging lightly, “But just so I got this right: The two of you were hanging out alone, in your apartment, late in the evening, drinking wine together, right?”

“That’s a date,” Yoongi finished what Hoseok was trying to say, “Maybe not an intentional one but surely you wouldn’t just do that with any other guy.”

Protesting, you pointed your finger at the couple in front of you, “You’re wrong. I would certainly love to spend a wine night with you alone. Or Hoseok.”

Hoseok let out a laugh, shaking his head, “But we’re both in a relationship. A homosexual one, that is.”

“Just saying,” Yoongi shrugged, already knowing that he was right, “You wouldn’t spend your evening like this with Jeongguk or Jimin. But with our Namjoon here things are different, right?”

You wanted to disagree, wanted to put him in his place and make him lose this argument. You wanted to discuss this with him until you swiped off that shit-eating grin of his face so bad. But you couldn’t.

Not a single good response came to your mind to disprove him and instead, you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

Hoseok let out an excited shriek of joy, nodding heavily, “You’re speechless! Speechless because Yoongi is right.”

“Guys, why don’t we just –” Namjoon started, trying to de-escalate the situation like the peacemaker he was but he had no choice, Hoseok interrupting him only a second after he opened his mouth.

“Don’t you even think we’ll be only picking on (Y/N),” he started, making himself more comfortable on the couch as a sign of him not planning to leave before he enjoyed every single moment of this situation, “Let’s talk about you then, Namjoon.”

“I’d rather not,” he mumbled under his breath before sighing. He knew just as good as you that once Hoseok started to tease, he won’t stop until he wanted to.

“We’ve known each other for so many years,” Hoseok was clearly enjoying this way too much, the amusement and sarcasm in his voice thick, “Yet not once have I seen you do something you’re not allowed to, just like taking a detour to deliver food to a girl’s house for example.”

“You’re cruel,” Namjoon stated in response, knowing there was nothing he could say.

Both of you were just enduring right then, hoping it won’t become awkward between you two after the others are gone again.

“I’m just saying it’s cute that the two of you are getting closer,” Hoseok pouted, acting like the angel he sometimes can be, “You look good together. You obviously are attracted to each other and you’re getting closer, we all know which direction this is going and I think that’s great. Our (Y/N) only had bad luck with guys but you’re a good guy, I know you’d treat her right because I’ve known you for years but have never seen you look at someone the way you look at her.”

Yoongi chuckled as his glance met yours, the expression on your face clearly begging him to set an end to this because if anyone can stop Hoseok it would be him.

“I think we caused enough trouble,” Yoongi told his boyfriend, taking his hand in his own before gesturing towards the floor with his head, “Let’s let them have their date in peace, what do you think?”

Hoseok’s bright and shining smile turned into a soft one as soon as he felt Yoongi’s hand on his, the excited idiot becoming the loving boyfriend he is around Yoongi immediately.

No matter how much you wanted to kill Hoseok, it always made your heart melt to see the two of them like this. Their behavior towards each other was so full of love, the vitamin and the grumpy old man in front of you were still as smitten for each other as they have been since the start. If you ever would feel like this towards someone, you surely won in life.

As he got up and walked towards the door he couldn’t help but tease his friend one last time, knowing very well himself just how much he annoyed the two of you, “Stay in boxershorts, I know our (Y/N), it’ll make her go crazy – she loves thighs.”

Namjoon let out a laugh in the same moment you threw a pillow towards him, Hoseok’s fast reflexes making him duck in an instant so the pillow didn’t hit him but the plant behind him.

“Out!” you yelled at your friend but a small chuckle still escaped from you – it was almost maniac, “You terrible human being.”

As soon as you heard the door close behind them shortly after, you felt your tense body finally relax again, letting yourself fall down on the couch behind you, your eyes fixated on the ceiling, “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”

Namjoon didn’t seem to mind all that much. He mirrored your actions, allowing his back to rest against your couch, in the space right next to you.

You could feel him shrug beside you without having to look at him, his broad shoulders only slightly brushing yours as he did so, “They weren’t completely wrong.”

No, they really weren’t. Actually, they were spot on – at least with the things they said about you. You would even go as far as saying they might have opened your eyes a little bit more.

While you were aware before that you thought of Namjoon as someone rather attractive, someone you definitely could fall for at one time in your life you didn’t realize how fast you let him in already, despite only knowing him for a short time.

Every single word Yoongi said was true and you hated how well he knew you.

The anxiety you felt during the conversation with your friends was completely gone when you realized how relaxed Namjoon was beside you. You feared he would start to feel uncomfortable, maybe even want to leave because of it but there you were, both of you drained from Hoseok’s teasing but at least without a weird tension between the two of you.

Namjoon letting out a scoff made you divert your attention from the ceiling to the man beside you - it was near shocking to see how close he was lying next to you, his face only centimeters away from your own, “What’s so funny?”

His glance shifted towards you, a smile that one could describe as almost silly-looking on his face, “Seems like we’re having a date, huh?”

“Seems like we are,” immediately you started smiliing widely, nodding your head, “Without us even knowing.”

Namjoon started to move around to lay on his side, his head propped on one elbow so he could look at you better, his whole attention on you, “If I’d ask you out on a real date, would you say yes?”

“Well, that depends on what a date with Kim Namjoon involves,” you arched an eyebrow, the playful tone in your voice making you sound way more relaxed than you were actually feeling inside.No, you were not feeling calm or cool, you felt your stomach tingling and your heart beating. The side effects of being next to Namjoon.

“Definitely not Pizza from Piero’s,” he laughed, making you do the same.

The annual campfire party of your friendgroup was the highlight of every year. It all started around four years ago when Hoseok first invited your group of friends to camp in his parents yard - back then you all were wondering why you should camp in a simple backyard but as soon as you first arrived you knew exactly why.

Not only did Hoseok’s parents have a massive yard, it also looked like the biggest cottagecore inspired movie scene you’ve ever seen with big, tall trees everywhere, wildflowers decorating the whole place and the coziest fireplace right next to an old shed, used to store tools and, once a year used for someone to make out in it while the rest of you were living your best camplife.

Ever since then you loved Hoseok’s campfire parties and this year you were even more excited because you had high hopes of ending up in Namjoon’s tent tonight.

“Turn left right there,” you navigated Namjoon who was kind enough to pick you up, “We’re almost there.”

“I know where Hoseok’s parents live, you don’t have to tell me,” Namjoon chuckled, clearly amused by your excitement, “How many people are coming?”

“Not that many,” you informed him, “Just the usual guys from our squad, their girlfriends and dates. No outsiders.”

“Leaves me wondering if I am part of the squad now or just your date,” he joked around.

Shrugging, you threw him a cheeky smile, “Depends on which one you prefer.”

He threw his head back while laughing, his dimple popping and you swore that you could never get enough of this view. By now you were whipped for Kim Namjoon and the two of you haven’t even kissed yet - it was almost scary to think how weak he could make you once you pass the flirting stage.

“I hope to be a bit of both,” he shyly admitted, making you smile instantly, “But you know, it takes two to be on a date. What do you think?”

“A date it is then,” you proudly said as he was parking the car.

As soon as you stepped out of the car you heard Jeongguk’s loud laugh alongside the music that was blasting from the backyard. Namjoon insisted on carrying not only his tent but also yours, being the stubborn gentleman he was.

“Oh, look who’s coming,” Hoseok annouced with his cup raised as he spotted the two of you, “Our two lovebirds.”

“Ay ay, such a pretty couple,” Jeongguk yelled and you wondered how he already managed to sound tipsy despite the evening just starting.

“You all have to shut your big mouthes,” you laughed as you approached your friends, all of them already sitting around the big fire in the middle on their camping stools, “Always making a big deal out of nothing.”

But once again they weren’t too wrong, were they? You noticed the way he sat down right next to you, a bit closer than he needed to be, the way he moved as soon as you moved, tense around each other, not because it was awkward but because both of you wanted to be ready for the other one.

It was already starting to get dark outside when finally everyone invited was there, everyone busy with something. A few people were setting up the tents, you and Seokjin's girlfriend were busy preparing some food while Namjoon and Yoongi tried to set up the big fire in the middle of the garden, tons of camping chairs gathered around it.

"So, how are things going between the two of you?" She asked you, not able to contain her big grin, "Are you still in denial about the fact that you're into each other?"

Throwing your head back, frustration was written all over your face, "I don't even know anymore. We're always flirting and like each other obviously but I think he doesn't want to pressure me because of the whole Jay dilemma."

"Well, I see how that can be frustrating but on the other hand that is very considerate of him, isn't it?" She had a point, you knew she does. He just wanted to be sure you're ready and you're comfortable but how in the world could you signal him that you were indeed more than ready?

As you stepped outside again, Namjoon was greeting you with a wide smile, gesturing you to sit down next to him. Jeongguk and Taehyung already had taped cans of beer to their hand and the music was playing loudly in the background as a few people of the group were talking about old memories from college.

Like every time, the atmosphere was cozy - the fire was keeping you warm and the stars were twinkling bright as you looked up. You loved those moments, they always made you feel peaceful. Seeing all of your dear ones together, having fun without a worry in the world warmed up your heart, you knew in the moment that you were making memories. Not to mention the special feeling of having someone next to you who you liked so much, he made your heart beat faster.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon whispered for only you to hear and you saw how for a second his hand was hovering just above your knee but he stopped himself - you wish he didn't, "You're unusually quiet."

Not thinking about it you put your hand on top of his, making his own hand rest on your thigh. It felt surprisingly easy and right to have it there, as if it belonged there.

Looking over to him, you leaned closer to reassure him, "I'm just enjoying the moment. It's nice to be here, with you."

He didn't have to say anything for you to know that he was feeling the same - the soft and calm smile was reassuring enough.

The party was in full swing when you decided to leave it for a bit, walking over to the part in the back of Hoseok’s garden, where everything was quiet, the only sounds coming from your friends that were playing games behind the tents but they were too far away for you to understand what they were talking about.

You didn’t have to turn around to know that the audible footsteps approaching you belonged to Namjoon; who else would come looking for you while there was a party going on only a few meters away?

He sat down beside you, his green oversized hoodie in combination with the grey beanie he was wearing were making him look so soft you wanted to bury your face in the soft fabric of the hoodie.

The dimpled smile he gave you even more managed to make your heart skip a beat and you were sure your knees would become weak if you weren’t sitting already.

“Is the party boring to you or why did you decide to flee?” he asked you, his legs crossed beside you as both of you were sitting a little bit too close to each other on Hoseok’s lawn, away from the middle of the party. For the first time in the evening it was just you and Namjoon, the rest of your friend hidden behind the many tents that were your home for the night. You wanted to be alone with him more than anything.

“No, that’s not it,” you reassured him as your eyes met and you almost felt shy, “I hoped for a certain someone to follow me so we could have some time to talk alone, away from all those drunk idiots.”

“Oh, should I tell Yoongi to come over then?” He joked, obviously knowing that you had no desire at all to talk to Yoongi right now – by now Namjoon knew that you enjoyed his company just as much as he enjoyed yours and even though you still were very careful about stepping out of the friendzone, you felt like you were slowly walking towards the dating-zone.

You playfully hit his chest as you laughed, “Don’t you dare to leave. I won’t let you.”

“What are you gonna do?” he scoffed, teasing you in the most playful way possible, “Run after me? Tackle me? You think you have a chance against me?”

“Probably not,” you agreed with him, “But I could always make you stay with a woman’s weapon.”

“Well, good for me that I didn’t plan on leaving again anyways,” he chuckled, the situation a tiny bit awkward because there you were – just you and Namjoon, all alone, alcohol in your veins and an obvious attraction towards each other.

By now it was safe to say that you liked Namjoon a little bit more than you would’ve expected but how couldn’t you fall for the pretty boy with a soft and kind heart?

You realized a while ago that Namjoon was the full package – he was funny and kind and cared about you, he checked in with you whenever you felt like shit and he even dealt with Hoseok’s constant bickering and teasing about the two of you. He helped you when Jay was bothering you, he listened to the small things you told him and remembered them, all in all he seemed to be the closest to a perfect human being you’ve ever met.

It was almost too good to be true but there he was, right beside you, eyes on you and you only.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” you asked him a bit shy, knowing that you had to ask him sooner or later, “I’m actually afraid of the dark.”

“Are you sure that’s the reason why?” Namjoon chuckled, “Not because you want to share the night with me?”

You rolled your eyes, acting offended, “Don’t think too highly of yourself. If you’re acting like this I’m gonna go and sleep in Jeongguk’s tent again, let me just ask him real quick.”

As you tried to get up Namjoon wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you right back in with full power, making you fall into his arms. “Smooth,” you smiled up at him before daring to lay your head down in his lap.

“If you think I’m gonna let you sleep in Jeongguk’s tent you’re insane,” he chuckled as he was looking down to where you were laying, his hand carefully stroking your hair out of your face, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” you softly answer, a grin on your face. Of course, Namjoon was right – you wanted nothing more than to spend the night with him, god knows you wanted that since forever but you also weren’t lying when you said you were afraid of the dark.

“(Y/N)?”, Namjoon’s voice went quiet and he looked a bit worried, wrinkels appearing on his forehead, “Since we agreed that this is bascially a date I need to ask you a question.”

You just nodded, wondering what was heavy on his mind.

“This Jay guy,” he started and you felt your whole body tense up at the mention of his name, “Do you still have feelings for him?”

A sigh escaped your lips, meaning every word you were about to say, “Not at all. I don’t have feelings for any guy except maybe the cute delivery guy with the dimpled smile that always gives me an extra dip.”

Namjoon’s worried expression was washed away in a second, a laughter escaping his lips, “I sure hope you are not talking about Antonio.”

Both of you were laughing now as you were getting up from Namjoon’s lap again to sit beside him, your face facing his.

“I truly do like you (Y/N). I think I knew from the first time you opened the door, drunk and with mascara running down your face.”

You chuckled, nodding, “It’s not fair, you’ve seen me at my worst and I’ve only ever seen you at your best. Do you not have any bad days, Kim Namjoon?”

“Well, I was in a pretty bad mood when I thought you might go back to that jerk but besides that, I think I’m always close to perfect,” he teased you, his fingers busy with putting a stand of your hair behind your ear.

And there it was, the moment before. Both of you were thinking the same, your faces too close to each other and his hand on your cheek to obvious to deny it, and even if that wasn’t obvious enough, Namjoon’s glance down to your lips said it all.

It was the perfect moment, the weather was fine, Namjoon looked and smelled as good as ever, you were both a little tipsy with a full party going on in the back that you ditched – but all of those things didn’t even matter anymore as soon as you felt Namjoon’s lips on yours, the warm feeling of it rushing through your whole body.

His hand was holding the side of your neck, his fingers tangled in your hair as the soft kiss between the two of you felt addicting and you wouldn’t mind if this never ended.

It didn’t take long until your kiss turned into a full make out session, you on top of his lap as he held you close,

“Namjoon,” you softly interrupted him between the kisses but he didn’t care, he just wanted to kiss you for the next hour or two.

“Namjoon,” you once again interrupted him even though you didn’t want to, making him stop the kiss and rest his forehead against yours.

“Mhh?” he asked you with his eyes closed, enjoying the moment, “What’s wrong?”

“Hoseok and Yoongi are watching us.”

Only a second later you heard the two of them screaming and hollering, making Namjoon groan in frustration.

“Get the fuck away,” he yelled over to the tents where the two of them were standing, big grins on their faces, “You’re being the biggest cockblocks.”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi screamed, clearly amused, “If I remember it right we were the ones who set you up.”

“Good for you though!” Hoseok reassured you, “Use protection. You have thirty minutes before we start roasting marshmallows but I know Namjoon won’t need that long!”

Before Namjoon could say anything else the couple turned their back towards you, walking back to the party.

You snickered, “I don’t think they’ll ever let us live.”

Namjoon agreed as he realized you were still sitting on top of his lap, his hand found your thigh, drawing small circles in the inside of it.

“You’re so pretty,” he started kissing your cheek, “You’re pretty when you’re wearing a dress, make-up and with your hair all done,” another kiss on your jawline, “Pretty when you’re drunk and crying alone at home but still give me a smile when you open the door,” the next kiss right under your ear, “Even pretty with a puzzle piece in your hair,” a kiss right on your neck, making you shiver in anticipation, “And especially pretty when you’re sitting on top of me,” this time the kiss was planted on your collarbone.

“Just wait until you see me naked then,” you joked and held his head in your hands, kissing his lips softly.

Namjoon chuckled, his head in the crook of your neck, “I don’t think I’ll be able to survive that view.”

“I know CPR, don’t worry,” you joked and he gave you another kiss, happiness written all over your face, “Should we go back?”

“Wait a second,” he took your hand in his, “I just – I need to tell you that I do want to take you out on that date we talked about when we puzzled on your place that one night. And I want to take you on so many more. I’ll go to this musical with you and Yoongi and Hoseok even though I have no idea what it’s about and I want to kiss you so many more times.”

“I think all of that sounds just perfect, Joonie.”

Pressing a kiss to your hand, he took a deep breath before his eyes met yours, “Let me call you my girlfriend from now on, okay?”

The smile on your face grew wider than ever before, nodding instantly, “That sounds nice. Yoongi and Hoseok will be euphoric.”

Namjoon laughed, pulling you close to give you another kiss – it felt even better when you thought of him as your boyfriend.

“Somewhere between all the wine bottles and pizza boxes you stole my heart,” Namjoon’s voice was soft, “Let’s go tell them, I want everyone to know.”

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dramaticviolincrescendo · 3 years

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So. Ryan.

I’m going back to s4 for a minute because the wonderful @damngcoffee and I were discussing fleeting yet fascinating Ryan, and I wanted to put my thoughts out into the universe. I hope you don’t mind.

I’ve never thought too deeply about the dynamic between Ian and Ryan before. Even in planning out “In Pieces,” analyzing Ryan’s motives wasn’t strictly necessary because it’s not really something Ian would pick up on based on his perspective in this situation. Ostensibly, it’s quite simple: during his club days, Ian is swinging with a new and visibly elegant circle in a drastically different part of society than he grew up in. That’s why Mickey is so out of his element there, whereas Ian expertly camouflages himself the way he always has. On the surface, there’s nothing out of the ordinary here. Just a party. Just Ian, manic and feeling on top of the world and in his element. Just another red flag missed amidst a sea of them. What happens at the party, however, really seems to potentially indicate that there’s more to this and more to Ryan as a character than merely acting as a clever setup for Mickey to indicate that he and Ian are officially in a relationship.

Up to that point, all we’ve seen surrounding Ian from Mickey’s point of view are real slime balls—older men preying on someone that they don’t necessarily realize is underage, but they definitely know is very, very young and vulnerable. There’s the lap dance guy, the one who can’t run to save his life, and the dude who’s just asking for his fingers to be broken one by one. Mickey alludes to two in particular over breakfast that first morning, and when Ian mentions a regular inviting them to a party, Mickey is focused on a rather specific image of what one of Ian’s regulars must be like.

Then they go to Ryan’s loft, and...it’s classy. Sophisticated. This isn’t a raucous after-party, but a very different atmosphere, full of upper-middle to upper-class ladies and gentlemen who are clearly professionals. Many of them are in suits or dressed nicely, having a late-night drink and speaking tastefully. They’re also substantially older than Ian and Mickey, who are only nearing seventeen and nineteen respectively at the time. These people have careers and, in the case of the sociologist Mickey speaks with, are working on advanced degrees. The only visible drugs are the ones on the table in front of Ian while he’s asleep the following morning. This isn’t the kind of party that we’d expect, knowing where Ian is mentally at this time like we do.

We tend to focus a lot on what Mickey’s response to all this is, but I’d like to use it as a diving board for analyzing a few dimensions of Ryan’s character that appear to indicate that, through the encroaching darkness of Ian’s as yet unacknowledged illness, there are people who are possibly watching out for him. So, here are a few things that stand out about our encounters at Ryan’s loft:

Ian says that Ryan is one of his “regulars.” Based on what we’ve seen so far, this immediately has us thinking there’s a level of sexual interest on Ryan’s side, even if only as something of a voyeur who enjoys watching Ian dance at the club. There’s no physical manifestation of that interest, though. Ryan noticeably doesn’t behave like the skeevy guys we’ve already seen, Ned included. That doesn’t exclusively mean that he’s on the up-and-up, of course, but I found it worth noting that their hug is just a hug, and he doesn’t step out of his role as a cordial host for a second. He treats Ian the same as he treats Mickey: with kindness and social acceptance, albeit with more familiarity. And when Ian goes with him to see what drinks are available, there aren’t any apparent undertones. Ryan immediately heads towards the open kitchen, and Ian follows at a polite distance. Host and attendee—those are our initial vibes as far as Ryan is concerned. It’s jarringly different from our other forays into Ian’s current lifestyle.

Enter the sociologist. What a fascinating individual for Ryan to interact with. He immediately asks if Mickey is with Ian, which is nothing special in itself and serves as a way to engage Mickey in conversation without simply asking what he does. The fact that he moves into that, however, is very interesting to me because he’s so straightforward about it. It’s not an interrogation, yet there’s an element of investigation to it. Perhaps he’s just a curious guy making conversation with someone who looks uncomfortable; perhaps he’s familiar with Ian from these parties and is doing a bit of research into who it is that Ian brought with him, as it is arguably the first time that’s happened. Either way, what he says that he’s studying is a “blink and you’ll miss it” sort of reference. It also flies under the radar for anyone who isn’t familiar with the field of sociology. We end up like Mickey: lost and confused by “transgender sex work and symbolic interactionism within the framework of hustler-client relations,” but generally understanding that he’s studying sex workers and pimps—emphasis on the sex workers. Something we know Ian was at the time, working the front and back of the club as he later admits.

Now, for the uninitiated, symbolic interactionism is a theoretical perspective in the field of sociology that focuses on how our social interactions with other people, social institutions, and the world around us both facilitate our construction of reality and alter or solidify our perceptions of our existing reality. While there are many directions his study may be taking him in, this sociologist is writing a dissertation on the meaning that is made between hustlers and clients—what symbols emerge that define each side, their roles, their meaning to one another, the dissemination of the values and norms that guide their relationships, etc. In short, he’s studying the socially constructed meaning of the relationship that specifically transgender sex workers and pimps have with each other and their clients.

On the surface, that has no bearing on this situation. Mickey’s confused, and it’s an ironic bit of writing to connect him to this group he’s uncomfortable with by showing that South Side Mickey is the pimp that the upper classes of society are studying for their Ph.D. It’s pure satire, a brief commentary on just how different classes of society can be and perhaps even a nod to how lower classes are inside the fishbowl that upper classes are peering into but will never truly experience. To the viewer, however, what a sign that may be, depending on your interpretation. Ian has clearly been around this group of people enough that he’s known. They’re familiar enough with him to say that he’s great and how lucky Mickey is to have him. If Ryan is one of Ian’s regulars, then they know where he came from. They know he’s young, and they know what he does for a living right now. There’s no way this sociologist—studying what he’s studying, asking what he’s asking—doesn’t have some professional interest in Ian’s circumstances. Enough, perhaps, to check in on who this person he’s brought with him is. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t read so much into that, but this isn’t the only time it happens.

The next morning, Ian is asleep and Ryan chooses to wake Mickey first. He knows Mickey wasn’t comfortable with him the night before, which I thought he handled with a lot of grace and good-humor. In most cases, I’d expect more disdain, but not with Ryan. It’s interesting, then, that he didn’t go to Ian first given their familiarity. Sure, he knows Ian worked the night prior. He may just have impeccable manners and want Ian to sleep a bit longer. If he’s a regular, he knows Ian needs it. (He probably also sees the drugs on his coffee table and figures he definitely needs it, but I digress.)

So, he wakes Mickey. He makes a casual joke. Then, when Mickey says he’s not Ian’s keeper, his demeanor shifts just slightly. His expression grows hesitant—tentative, like he’s been meaning to ask something but hasn’t quite worked up to it. For someone who should just be a regular, who shouldn’t care much outside of Ian dancing, whose interest has been that of a polite acquaintance thus far, his gaze is more intent than I’d have expected as he waits for Mickey to tell him if he’s a boyfriend or if he’s someone who is a one-night deal. Are they together, or is Mickey just a fleeting fancy for Ian?

Are they together, or is Mickey taking advantage of this very, very young sex worker that Ryan has conveniently invited to his home after work instead of him going home with some stranger?

Are they together, or is Mickey some stranger?

When Mickey says they’re together, the intensity ebbs and casual Ryan is back. He offers a contented reply and heads off to get breakfast for Mickey, still not knowing what Ian wants. If that was his prime motivation for approaching them in the first place, wouldn’t he have woken Ian up at that point? Wouldn’t he have completed his task of taking breakfast orders? It makes me wonder if that’s not why he woke Mickey at all. It makes for a good excuse when he was delivering food to others who stayed overnight, but the more I rewatch their interactions, and the more I read into how dissonant his position as “a regular” and his behavior are, the more I wonder if there’s something else to Ryan.

A regular who doesn’t seem all that interested in Ian as anything other than an acquaintance—a person, not a dancer or object like literally everyone else in Ian’s new life that we’ve seen so far.

An engineer and photographer Ian says with absolute certainty doesn’t want or expect anything from him.

A professional with professional friends who are studied in the fields of sociology and sex work.

A man somewhat older than them who checks in with Mickey—after someone else has already done so and discovered that their sex worker guest is there with a self-proclaimed pimp—to inquire after his relationship with Ian in a relatively non-invasive manner.

Ian was taken advantage of by so many people as a kid and especially during his initial spiral. I’ve always thought of this as being a lonely time for him even though he certainly felt like he was a part of everything and surrounded by all the wonders of the world. He abandoned the military and his dreams. He flitted into and out of Ned’s home. Monica flitted into and out of his life yet again. His family wasn’t looking until Lip’s hands were tied by the MPs, and even then they were almost immediately distracted by the situation with Fiona and Liam. Mickey was married and seemingly out of reach. He’d left his friends and connections behind.

But maybe, just maybe, there was a guy who saw him at work and saw him. Maybe there was a guy who was a little older, a little more educated, and a little more savvy about the scene Ian was involved in when he noticed this kid dancing on a stage in a place he had no business going to.

And maybe this guy decided that he’d look out for this kid who was in way over his head, indirect and not at all obvious about it, yet someone who cared at a time when Ian unknowingly and unintentionally had to rely on the kindness of strangers.

#shameless #shameless meta #Ian gallagher #it’s ian gallagher loving hours

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nachosncheeze · 2 years

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Music of Blindspot

The music of Blindspot 2x10 - Nor I, Nigel, AKA Leg In Iron

Another one that's several weeks delayed, but I'm still catching up on the rewatch, and honestly this episode is SO INTENSE that it's hard to focus on any one thing at any moment!

This week's post is fairly short and mostly nonsense. This ep has a lot of borrowing and recycling of sounds from different season 1 tracks and although they're largely in bigger, more identifiable chunks than previous season 2 episodes, there's very little that strikes me as particularly compelling in terms of themes. I feel like I should state again that I'm by no means a music critic, composer, or anything remotely in that realm, but my impression as a Dork Who Likes Soundtracks is that they were probably going more for feelings and ambiance rather than actual callbacks and references. Either that or the holidays and omicron have rotted my brain (eminently possible tbh), because if they're there, I'm not hearing them this week. Links will be sparing but there'll be at least a couple.

As always, all music is composed by Blake Neely and Sherri Chung; I’m getting nothing out of this except an excuse to re-watch with my own little auditory memory mini-game. Please don’t do anything shady with the YouTube links; I don’t want to get the OPs in trouble or we could lose access to this awesome content. Also note that linked music recycled from season 1 was released on an official soundtrack, which is still purchasable on iTunes etc. And it's good to support the things we love! :D

Post is behind a cut, because it’s long and at this point, almost entirely spoilers. :D

~~~~~

When Thornton is confessing to Patterson (tied to a table) about why he joined Sandstorm - for his late wife - the music is not the same but reminds me a lot of Ultimate Polygraph in 2x01 - different melody but similar sound/instruments/structure from the moment when Nas asked about Oscar, and Jane's (tied to a chair) confession really got underway. This comment means absolutely nothing, I just thought it's neat. There are a lot of instances of "similar but different" between Jane and Borden apart from their shared history; for example Patterson's attempt to arrest him at the end of the previous episode ("FBI, you're under arrest... whoever you are") struck me as a really similar vibe to "So if Taylor Shaw is dead, who the hell are you?" at the end of 1x23.

The fight in the diner is a veritable root veg mash of season 1 fight scene sounds. I'm not gonna try to tease that apart, but if you think it's funky try tracks from season 1 like "Field Trip" or "Exploding Art" or "No Love in an Elevator".

We're still getting a lot of Torn Apart sans "The Truth Can Save You" (season 1) elements. On first watch, it was around this point where I really started to think of Torn Apart as the "Roman and Remi" theme specifically as opposed to "Jane is conflicted" or "Jane's past/family" more generally, because it increasingly centers around Roman and ditches the "Jellery" bit.

So here's something not really related to this episode but I don't know why I haven't said before now (and it's gonna get weirder the longer I put it off... really I should do a season 1 OST post at some point): when I say "Jellery" bit, I'm of course referring to elements (esp. perc) borrowed from The Truth Can Save You, which we call the Jeller Theme because it tends to come up whenever Jeller are having Very Emotional Shippy Moments. But Torn Apart isn't the first track to borrow it: you can hear a variation on the same underpinning "Learn to Trust" (also from the season 1 OST)... which is the piece from the end of 1x11 when Jane goes to meet Oscar for the first time... and that borrowed "Jellery" bit I keep referring to kicks in right when she's at the crossroads deciding whether to go to the park or to the tower.

When Shepherd first starts interrogating Patterson - There's nothing I'm picking up on here specifically that's of note, but I'm listing it anyway because it (especially the piano near the end, as she's first introducing the needle) very vaguely made me think of Departed Host and I got nostalgic and wanted to highlight that amazing track because imo it's one of the best standalones from S1 and everyone should listen to it absent the dialogue at least once. That is a run-on sentence and a half and my English teachers would be scandalized, so I may as well compound their suffering by continuing this sentence ad infinitum as well, and tell you that's the piece from the end of 1x20 that covers the montage of Mayfair's hotel suite date with Alexandra, Jeller and Sawyer playing Uno, Jane spying on Oscar, and Mayfair discovering Alexandra's body.

#blindspot #blindspot 2x10 #blindspot rewatch 2021 #blindspot rewatch #blindspot ost #music of blindspot #blindspot s2 spoilers #i was hungry when i proofread this okay?#i have half-assed #nachos blindspot oc

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na-klar · 3 years

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Fave nora machwitz quotes pls

*rubs palms together* let’s do this! (also thank you for giving me an excuse to rewatch season 5 and 6!)

i love nora so much, she’s my favorite character in the whole skam universe and her season is my favorite as well, so i had so much fun rewatching and writing down my favorite quotes! the writers really went all out for season 5

“do you feel it too?” -- the trailer for season 5, one of my fav things ever and this question in particular means so much in hindsight. like we didn’t even know what greatness we signed up for god bless

(to fatou) “you like her, don’t you?” -- the first time we learned that fatou likes girls <3

“guys, i’m in” -- nora supporting ava!! also this is the line that started a beautiful friendship

(ismail: “you’re hanging out with her now?”) “with ava? yeah.” -- hell yes girl defend your best friend against her bullies!!

“wow, you guys are so cool. an entirety of ten people are here!” -- pleaseeee she’s so cool ridiculing the instas and their stupid parking lot rave

“you guys don’t rule the whole fucking year. you walk through school thinking you’re the absolute shit and put people down only because you have an inferiority complex. i’m not going to be a part of this any more.” -- QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“maybe stop repeating everything constantin says and stand by your own opinion” -- she said this to ismail in a chat but she’s so right honestly fuck ismail they were so rude in season 5 and i think we easily forgot about it because they portrayed ismail nicer in season 6

“i just want to tell you that i don’t miss you at all. really, i don’t, i actually stopped feeling anything at all, isn’t that great? i mean, i’m not cold or hot or... or i’m not even scared that something could happen to you or that you die because you’re drunk. i hope you’re making progress as good as i am.” -- this whole scene was heartbreaking but so well done and the way nora managed to express so many of her feelings (or lack thereof :() in such few words is amazing

“this is really the greatest thing... i don’t know why i didn’t do this earlier. everything doesn’t fucking matter, mom was right. this really is the greatest thing. [...] i’m just like mom. i’m sorry.” -- god, another heartbreaking scene that ripped my whole entire being into pieces. wonderfully written and so well executed, mina’s acting here is phenomenal and idk honestly how to put into words how much the “i’m just like mom” hurt like how can words hurt that much?

(text to her mom) “i need to take care of myself now.” -- finally putting herself first, standing up to her mom and getting the help she needs, absolutely love this development

“i feel you!” and “i had a fucking cramp in my leg” -- how iconic was this please that whole reunion scene with josh was so beautiful but these two lines just make my heart go absolutely bonkers

“i don’t want these feelings to go away again” -- excuse me while i crawl into my bed and cry, nora deserves the world and i’m so glad she’s getting help and has her friends, sisters and josh at her side. favorite character ever, favorite season ever, favorite remake ever :’)

these are my fav nora quotes from season 5, i didn’t include season 6 because she sadly wasn’t in many clips there :( but nora telling fatou that they’re staying together forever at the end of their heartfelt conversation needs to be mentioned here and it’s also one of my fav lines ever!

#druck #ask #nora

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verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Bad Joke and The Scoobynatural

(13x14/13x15)

Hello there!!! This time I'm gonna talk about one of the most OOC episodes ever and one of our favs episodes Scoobynatural. I put them together bc one was so bad I needed some fresh air. Hehehehe.

Let's start!

So OOC that hurts...

Episode 13x15 "A Most Holly Man" was written by Dabb but also by Robert Singer.

This episode was odd, with easy bad jokes, and OOC. It also had Wincest subtext, and it was very messy.

If you rewatch the entire season, this episode seems to be out of context. If they've wouldn't put the search for the element they needed for the spell, it could have been passed as an episode from another show.

I could write more criticism, but let's just talk about little pieces of dialogue that worked as clues, I'm very sure it were put by Dabb (even if I dislike his writing) more than Singer.

The three elements the gangsters wanted to get were:

Incense: Is used by christian rituals to elevate prayers and gifts from the parishioners to God. This could be speaking of Chuck coming in the next season.

Chalice: The chalice represents sacrifice for christianity. The Holt Blood of Jesus Christ that have his life for humanity. So, is talking about a future huge sacrifice. It could be taken for Dean and his Mal'ak box or Castiel in 15x18.

Skull: it's related to death, and it could be speaking of Mary Winchester death in season 14.

Another little take from this episode was this little piece of dialogue:

MARGARET: Oh, don’t thank me yet. Greenstreet has all the trappings of a gentleman, but… I would advise caution.

Okay subtle, but not that much. The last name is a combination of two words GREEN and STREET, it's obviously related to Dean, and the quote after this 'has all the trappings is a gentleman, but... I would advise caution." It's obviously talking about AUMichael!Dean.

A brief comment about the Wincest subtext... We had Sam flirting with Margaret and Dean showing signs of jealousy, it could be taken as annoyance, but, because is Singer involved, I would say it was intentionally written to be Wincest subtext. And after this we had Dean flirting... Super out of character, with a brunette... With a lame excuse... Unnecessary. But it worked to make this time Sam the jealous one. Connecting the drops, my dears...

Dean has faith again and the distracting rubbing lips...

In this episode we can also rescue another good points as Dean declaring he has faith. Remember at the beginning of the season he was lost and faithless, I ask myself what could happen to make Dean to recover his faith???

Oh yes, Cas is back.

Then the rubbing lips... We had the same gesture from Cas in the previous episode, so, I wrote two entire metas about how Dabb team used the hands to show foreshadow. So I truly thought Dean and Cas would kiss... Hehehehe. It could fit perfectly, but nah.

This episode also talked about how a priest, a righteous, a saint man, was trying to get the most precious thing for his community.

Trying to get back the most important thing he had, willing to make any sacrifice for it, it's the same would lead Dean to say 'yes' to Michael. When Lucifer kidnaps Sam and Jack.

(This could be just nice because family, and because Dean raised Sam, so Sam represents a son and such, but, because is Singer... Wincest again.)

Another piece of dialogue I found is the following...

FATHER LUCCA: (...)And what your brother’s doing, it’s a good thing.

DEAN: Yeah, or a stupid thing.

FATHER LUCCA: Or both. Many times, they can be the same.

This is telling Castiel's name, Because Dean is always asking him not to do stupid things.

Another foreshadow was Father Lucca talking about Lying is wrong, is a sin. This was the preamble to one of the most revealing episode that will bring Chuck back. The episode in which Jack erase the ability of telling lies in the whole world population.

Dean's cave meaning and visual narrative.

Episode 13x16 was full of symbolism, and is one of my fav episodes.

At first, we had Dean fighting against a huge green dinosaur, practically a monster in green. Just like the Squirrel/Godzilla in one t-shirt we'll see in episode 14x04, is representing DEAN, his inner photography of himself. He sees himself as a monster.

Everytime we see SCOOBY-DOO in Supernatural, it's related to Dean's innocence and purity. Those qualities on him will be the key to release him from his emotional prison in season 14.

Visual Narrative in Dean's cave

Let's talk about the Dean's cave. When Dean says to Sam "Be like Elsa, let it be," he's referring here to the most deepest feelings and fears. Elsa released what she had tried to repress her entire life, her powers. And once she accepted what she really was, she was really free.

This will happen to Dean too, the process had just started. Now that he got Cas back, and now that deep inside he had accepted he can't live without the angel, he will slowly be able to embrace his bisexuality, to accept who he really is. The climax of this metamorphosis it's gonna be describer through the whole season 14. It's the birth of Healing!Dean.

Dean's cave represents that. First of all I want you to know that the Dean's cave had been made to watch movies with Castiel. It's subtextually displayed by the location of the two couches and the color of the lights in front of them: RED AND BLUE. Those are Dean and Castiel's places. That place had been built to share time with his angel.

Gif credit @out-in-the-open

Fred and Daphne were Dean's bisexuality representation.

Mostly than Dean having a crush over the two characters (openly with Daphne and repressed over Fred) both characters were representing Dean's bisexuality (just like Pamela and himself in Rocky's bar and his friend and the waitress in 15x07).

When they had to team up (just like in 14x04) we had Sam and Vilma represented the insight, the intelligence. (Just like Sam and Sam). Castiel pairing up with Yaggy and Scooby, the innocence and the talking dog, the most precious thing for Dean. (Remember Dean would take a bullet for that dog, that's why Cas was compared several times in season 12 with a dog, and that's why Dean follows him anywhere to keep him safe after suffering his lost).

Gif set credit @gentleman-demon

Finally, the bisexual team Dean with Fred and Daphne. In one opportunity Dean asks Daphne what does she sees in a man. Without mentioning she loves ascots, what this symbolically represents is Dean asking to his female side what she really likes to see in man. And we have Fred related to blue color, as a switch mirror with Castiel. Also because Daphne describes the perfect man as STRONG AND HONEST. Which are characteristics related to Castiel.

Castiel's entrance a la 4x01 and the dinosaur in love

Castiel enters in the mansion the same way he did in 4x01, stormy, mysteriously, and bright.

Immediately after his entrance, we had this weird dialogue...

DEAN: It's a book we're writing. Yeah, about...killer stuffed dinosaurs. It's called...

CASTIEL: "The Killer Stuffed Dinosaur in Love."

FRED: Huh. Great title.

SCOOBY: Yeah. Great title.

"It's a book we are writing " this is very meaningful Because, the book they're writing despite the one Chuck is writing, is Team Free Will, but... We are talking about DESTIEL. Dean and Cas are writing their own story... Why? Because when they mention the title of that book is... The KILLER (Do you remember REGARDING DEAN? another brief appearence of Scooby Doo and Dean's innocence? In which Rowena told him he was a killer? So yes, Dean sees himself as a killer, that's why the image of a monster, a green DINOSAUR, and huge Godzilla Squirrel... But this KILLER GREEN DINOSAUR has a very important characteristic HE IS IN LOVE. DEAN IS IN LOVE, as he confessed in 14x12.

Do I have to explain how writers connect d Castiel's first entrance in 4x01 with this book they're writing as they go? The book is named DESTIEL.

Jealous!Castiel and the little scared ghost boy

I loved the scene in which Daphne freshly confesses Dean grabbed the ghost by the thigh and immediately Cas shows his jealousy over that.

Gif set credit @tearsofgrace

But There's another almost at the end of the episode in which Dean mentions his affair with the Cartwright Twins and Cas asks about that, and Dean's face is priceless. Because if CAS would just represent a friend to him, he were absolutely explaining to him what happened with those twins, but he didn't. Why? Because Castiel is not just a friend. Castiel is Dean's love interest. So... Better not to talk about it.

Gif set credit @sssssssim

But let's jump over the symbolism of the trapped child ghost.

BOY: I'm not. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But the bad man, he makes me.

CASTIEL: The bad man?

BOY: His name is Jay.

I want to point here we are inside of Dean's head as you've noticed so far, so... Velma is Dean's intelligence and reason, and is linked with Sam (just like in episode 14x04 in which we had the scooby-doo box opening the locked door). Yaggy and Scooby are the innocence and love, part of Dean and linked to Castiel. And Daphne and Fred are Dean's bisexuality. But There's another huge character inside of him THE MONSTER. The monster, the one he has to defeat, is represented by JOHN WINCHESTER'S TOXIC HERITAGE AND AUMICHAEL, they're part of his toxicity, his rage, his violence. The little ghost here is all the good inside of Dean, his childhood, his innocence, but the bad man who obligates him to kill, it's his inner monster. So this is a war between TOXIC!DEAN and HEALING!DEAN as we will see in season 14.

BOY: When I died, my soul was tied to a pocketknife. My dad gave it to me. It meant everything. When Jay found me, he used me to...Sometimes, I get so angry I break things, hurt people.

John Winchester's toxic heritage implies the GUILT. So, Dean's soul is tied to that GUILT. Jay represents AUMichael here, when AUMichael finds this tool, the guilt, he uses it against Dean to control him. The boy says he gets angry, he breaks things and hurts people. He's describing perfectly Dean's toxicity. His violence. We will see it in this season but also, at the end of season 14.

To Conclude:

In episode 13x15 we had a very OOC bad episode, but with a few clues for foreshadows.

Episode 13x16 was a travel through Dean's innocence, inner thoughts and repressed feelings. It's a preamble to Healing!Dean season and how Dean will be able to break free from his emotional prison, defeating his inner monster.

Hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 13 here you have the links...

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV, XCVI, XCVII, XCVIII, XCIX, C, CI.

Buenos Aires, February 28 2020, 2:23 PM

#destiel chronicles #destiel #destiel meta #Supernatural meta #season 13 meta #13x15 meta #13x16 meta #Scoobynatural #Scoobynatural meta #Castiel #Dean is bi #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester

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mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

can you do iwa chan with a male lover and how they’re always roughhousing and the one time reader gets hurt, iwachan gets so guilty 🥺

Ahhhh-sorry for not doing the Sakusa request (I can post the draft if you’d like) , I don’t know his character very well because I’ve watched and rewatched the 3 seasons multiple times and I’ve only seen s4 once !!

————

Iwaizumi x reader - broken pride

⚠️ warnings - ME MISSPELLING “IWAIZUMI” THE WHOLE FUCKING FIC AHAHAH I FORGOT THE “I” mentions of breaking a bone..?

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

“Iwa-Chan, (n/n)-Chan, you’re gonna break the floorboards!”

Ignoring Oikawas pleads, Iwazumi shoved at (y/n) to receive a ball hurling at the both of them. (Y/n) kicked at Iwazumis shins and dived for the ball. His body slammed against the floor as the ball struck into his outstretched arm, flying back to the direction it came from. (Y/n) let out a guttural laugh, raising his middle finger up to the mad, but smiling, Iwazumi above him.

“Take that, stupid Iwazumi! Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too!”

Iwazumi extended a hand to (y/n) bringing him up to a hug and patting his back, after pulling him up. Iwazumi and (y/n) were, surprisingly, best friends.

“Jeez (y/n)-that’s gotta bruise,” Iwazumi chuckled, breaking the hug to examine his side. (Y/n) swatted at his hands, chuckling aswell and stretching.

“Ah-who cares? It’s just a bruise, it’s not like I won’t be able to play anymore.” (Y/n) rubbed his neck, down casting his eyes a bit. “Cause I’m gonna be the one to bring you all to nationals.”

“Yeah, if you left I’d kill you.”

(Y/n) gasped, feigning a hand up to his forehead. “Iwazumi! How rude! Plotting to murder a poor, innocent libero!” (Y/n) turned his head away dramatically. Iwazumi let out another hearty laugh and punched (y/n) in the shoulder.

“Jeez iwa-Chan, (n/n)-Chan, we have the spring inter high coming up, don’t break eachother!”

The two sent a glare and a smirk over to Oikawa, who just stuck out his tongue and went to set to someone else.

———

“Alright! We’re gonna play a little match, so form two teams for me!” Coach Irihata boomed from the side of the court, making several players stop and scramble to pick up the volleyballs they’ve been using for individual practice. Players sifted left and right, teaming up with people they got along better with. (Y/n) caught sight of his best bro Iwa-chan, and jabbed him in the ass.

“OI!” Iwazumi let out a yelp and covered his abused cheeks whilst turning to face the libero. (Y/n) smirked at Iwazumi.

“Oi.”

“Jesus...so which team do you wanna joi-“

“Actually, why don’t we play against eachother?”

Iwazumi blinked. Darn. He kind of wanted to play on (y/n’s) si-

“So I can beat your ass to the ground with a volleyball.” (Y/n) balled up his fist and dug it into Iwazumis shoulder blade.

Oh, it’s on bitch.

“We’ll see, (y/n). Your going down, idiot.” Iwazumi smiled irritably and clutched the arm balled into his shoulder. The two walked away to the opposite sides of the court, Iwazumi joining Oikawas side while (y/n) joined the other. They each held a competitive glare, staring eachother down from opposite sides of the net.

Coach Irihara sounded the startup whistle, looking at each of the players. Iwazumi would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling strangely hyper and competitive right now. He watched the ball fly over his head, eagerly waiting for the ball to return to his side.

The ball once again flew over his head, this time in his direction. He made eye contact with oikawa, and all too fast, he giddily jumped up and slammed the ball as hard as he can, in (y/n’s) direction.

Damn, he thought. That spike could rival that stupid number 10 at karasuno.

The ball zipped over in (y/n’s) direction, giving him little to no time to react. (Y/n) made the mistake of crouching down, hand outstretched against his kneecap, and bracing for impact. The ball plowed straight into his wrist, the remanence of Iwazumi’s powerful spike curving, and hitting his arm where it hung off his knee.

A loud cracking noise, followed by a piercing scream echoed across the gym. Each and every player fell silent, only gawking at the boy writhing in pain on the floor, clutching a mishapen wrist in his free hand while the ball tumbled away from him pitifully.

His wrist would’ve stood a chance if his knee wasn’t in the way, if the ball would’ve landed flatly against his arm, but given the power of the spike and so little reaction time, (y/n) was actually pretty lucky to even touch the ball in the first place.

It was like propping a frail wooden stick up against a rock, only to snap nimbly in half by stomping on it.

Iwazumi’s traumatic expression only deepened when he finally caught sight of (y/n’s) swelled up, deformed hand being swarmed by concerned teammates and a coach who was rubbing his back soothingly. His legs were rooted to the wooden floorboards, as he stared guiltily at his doing.

Iwazumi staggered slowly towards the body laying on the wooden floorboards, until he was ushered away by Kindaichi and Oikawa.

“He needs to get to a hospital, coach is calling his mom. Its best if you don’t...” Oikawa patting Iwazumi on the shoulder, contrasting his usual upbeat stupid attitude.

It wasn’t his fault, right?

It’s not, right...?

Right?

——————

The rest of the day flew by for everyone.

(Y/n’s) mother came and drove him to the hospital, where he got his wrist fixed. Since he needs time to heal, he wasn’t permitted to playing volleyball for a few months, or even applying any extreme pressure on it at all.

Meaning, he couldn’t participate in the spring inter high games.

(Y/n) seemed like he was in a daze most of the time, like he wasn’t really present when the teacher called his name, or when Iwazumi asked to hangout. A shell of the former glory he held in his broken wrist. (Y/n), for once in all 16 years of his life, was silent. And all that silence and guilt was eating Iwazumi alive.

(Y/n) was the most excited for the inter high games more than anyone. It made sense that he’d be at least a tad bit creastfallen, but it was even making the whole team depressed.

Another school day ended in seconds. Everyone packed up their stuff, conversing with their friends or just shuffling out of the classroom. (Y/n) numbly stood up, tentatively shoving books and papers into his bag with his good hand. Iwazumi watched him pitifully drag himself through the doors of the classroom.

Enough was enough, the wing spiker decided. He was tired of seeing him act so depressed. Or maybe that’s just what he told himself, to convince him, and the ugly guilt bubbling up inside the pit in his stomach, that it wasn’t his fault.

Because it wasn’t...

Iwazumi gently placed a hand on the liberos shoulder, more gentle than he’d been with (y/n) than they usually would greet eachother. It felt like ages than they last talked. It felt refreshing in a way.

“Hey.” No answer.

“Do you...do you want to come watch practice today...?” More silence.

(Y/n) stared at Iwazumi with cold, dead, unmotivated eyes. He bore a icy-hot gaze into Iwazumis face, while he tried so desperately to avoid his pitiful expression. The remaining sparks of the old (y/n) died in his cold eyes, while (y/n) shrugged his shoulder out from under Iwazumis hand. Wordlessly, he walked away, leaving the ace in the dust.

That hurt more than any other bruise or accidental cut they’ve ever given eachother, more than a cuss word thrown half heartedly at the other. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself bolting down the hallways, knocking past people, and sprinting to (y/n’s) house with no clear goal in front of him. He knocked on (y/n’s) house door. About 5 knocks later, a woman opened the door and greeted Iwazumi with a smile.

“Oh! Hello, Iwazumi! Is (y/n) with you?”

“Actually I-I was wondering if he was home-I need to talk to him.” And say what? Think these things though, Hajime. Damn. Iwazumi bit his lip.

(Y/n’s) mother cocked her head to the side. “No...he hasn’t come home yet. You can wait in his room for him if you’d like-“

“Thank you, Mrs (L/n)!” The boy flew past her, racing up the stairs. He stopped to a jog and eventually to a calm walk as he pushed open (y/n’s) door.

The room was always messy, but this just takes the cake. Papers and food wrappers littered the ground, the closet door hung open as clothes topped out of it, mixing itself into the mess called the ground, and his bed looked like a lazy excuse of a few sheets and pillows.

Iwazumi gulped. He normally would’ve laughed, or berated his friend for not cleaning his room, but he just felt a sense of guilt hit him like a spike to the wri-

The least he could do was clean up a bit. If (y/n) yelled at him for intruding, that was fine by him. It would just add on to the trouble he’d face for skipping practice today aswell.

Iwazumi picked up a trash bin and started swooping up pieces of trash.

It’s a process, Iwazumi. Do it for him.

————

“I’m home, mom.”

(Y/n) kicked off his shoes as carefully shook off his bag. (Y/n) caught sight of his mom in the kitchen, smiling and making her way towards the boy. She kissed him on the forehead, making him gag, and patted him on the head.

“How’s your wrist doing, dear?”

“It’s fine. It wasn’t hurting today.”

She clasped her hands together. “Oh that’s right! Your friend Iwazumi stopped by, I let him in-he’s in your room I believe.”

(Y/n’s) eyes widened. “Mom! Why would you do tha-“

“Honey, you need to talk to someone! I’m tired of seeing you so quiet and still! Where’s the rowdy volleyball player I know and love?”

They looked at eachother with a silent exchange. (Y/n) sighed and pressed his lips into a fine line. “One hour.”

“One hours all I need, dear.”

(Y/n) reluctantly trudged up the stairs, picking at the cast encasing his arm. The moment he swung his bedroom door open, he walked straight into the sight of a clean room, while Iwazumi folded his blanket. He whipped his head towards the door and dropped the blanket.

“Hey.”

No other words were spoken. You could hear a pin drop.

“...if your gonna say something, say it now, please.”

Iwazumi shifted his gaze away, uncomfortably. He never really had to deal with any other feeling than “fuck you, I spike harder” or “Get your ass over here, Oikawa”

(Y/n) quietly took a seat on his bed, not breaking contact with the person beside him.

“You’re...really bad at feelings aren’t you?”

“S-shut up! Shithead!” Iwazumi fumed, before covering his mouth. “I’m...im sorry I just-“

“God, I missed that. Makes me feel less ‘crippled’, yknow?” (Y/n) ran a finger across his dirty white cast. “Everyone was treating me like I was about to break, like-I’m sick of it! Insult me! Fuck me up! I’ll fuck you up too! Just because I broke my wrist doesn’t mean I’m some princess who needs saving, dude.”

Iwazumi met (y/n’s) eyes. For the first time in weeks, he saw the boy smiling, the same competitive, hardass glare he knew and loved. Seeing that calmed down his senses a bit.

“Jeez, if you had just told me that I would’ve broken your other wrist as well, fuckass”

“Hey hey, your supposed to be nice to me I’m hurting,” (y/n) chuckled, the sensation foreign on his lips.

The warm feeling of familiarity flooded the room as the two talked and joked around. It was the same, old (y/n) Iwazumi has known, but somehow it felt,..different. Like he was seeing his friend in a new light for the first time. Maybe it was because he hadn’t seen that smile he loved so much in was felt like centuries, or maybe it was something else.

Iwazumis eyes widened ever so slightly. “Ah-I should probably say...sorry...(y/n)..” Iwazumi said, finally addressing the elephant in the room. (Y/n) stopped laughing, and cocked his head to the side.

“What for...?”

“I’m the reason you can’t play anymore. Everyone knows not to aim for the libero, yet i did because I was stupid and I wanted to-“

“It’s fine, Hajime.” The boy looked at his friend. They almost never used first names unless it was something serious. He set his bandaged up wrist onto Iwazumi’s shoulder ever-so gently. “I don’t blame you. Even though you are pretty stupid. Even if I won’t be playing...ill still have fun cheering you on at the spring inter high games, I guess.”

The weird feeling from before resurfaced itself in the wing spiker. His heart began pumping faster and faster and he started to sweat a little. This feeling made him nervous, but in a good way? He didn’t know himself.

“...Iwazumi?” He didn’t realize he was staring at him before he started waving his cast in front of his face. Immediately he flushed up and took a step back.

“Are you...flustered? Oh my god were you thinking about boobs or something? Ahaha!” (Y/n) began teasing the boy infront of him, but it all went in one ear and out the other. Iwazumi couldn’t help but look at (y/n) with a certain fondness he’d never felt before.

Slowly, but surely, he would ascertain his feelings about the boy, but for now, he was content with being beside his best friend for just a little while longer.

——————

Very Tiny Tag list:

@kenmas-consoles

#iwazumi x reader #iwa chan #iwaizumi hajime #hajime iwaizumi #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu boys #haikyuu aoba johsai #iwazumi x male reader #haikyuu fic #anime

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feralcherry · 3 years

Text

Naruto takes that might enrage you (girl addition)

Warning, some of these takes might enrage you- that’s fine.

Fillers don’t count as canon, don’t even bring them up if you talk about this post lol. Also it’s been a while since I’ve seen the whole series, so some of these might be disproven as I continue with my rewatch. The excuse that Shounen is for boys is also very weak and holds no weight, as tons of girls (and nonbinary folk) relate to the characters in this show, so that doesn’t excuse Kishimoto for his weak writing of women.

To preface, I love this show. Love it to pieces. It was part of my childhood and holds a very special place in my heart. But there are some things I personally don’t like or wish could have been done better. I love every character and will go blue in the face talking about how much I still love this show. That doesn’t free it from my criticism. I’m also only listing what I don’t like and what I would change, though I’d be more than happy making a post about what I loved.

Let’s start off with my girl Sakura Haruno. She is easily the most hated girl in the series, and all because of how ‘weak’ or ‘annoying’ she is. As if that’s not the fault of Kishimoto himself lol. She was shoved off to the side continuously and never given cool storylines, unlike the other members of her team.

What I took issue with about Sakura:

-What were this girls dreams?? The whole reason she became a ninja was never really talked about nor were they really developed as time went on. She was all about Sasuke, which would be fine if she grew out of it. But no.

-Her crush on Sasuke was super stale. He was handsome and powerful, but what else was there to him? He was a jerk to her most of the time (there are some instances he’s somewhat kind to her, but if we go off canon, it’s not enough to make her deep love make sense). I think it would have been so much more interesting to see her grow out of her infatuation for him. If they had to have ended up together, watching them relearn each other and fall in love would have made them more compelling. She stayed loving a boy who thought very little of her.

-She’s pitted against her best friend and doesn’t develop much of a relationship with other girls her age. It’s kind of sad, and I think they should have fought over something other than a boy.

-We are told repeatedly that she’s super powerful by other characters, but she’s never given time to truly shine. She got like a single battle with Sasori and she deserved more cool moments like that!

-She was a healer, which makes perfect sense. But why is it mostly girls who are the healers? It’s a bit weird, when there’s also Neji with his perfect chakra control. She only has her healing abilities and her super strength; but even then someone like Kabuto has more offensive healing based techniques than her. Like his chakra scalpel.

What I would fix:

-New dreams. Show her find a dream outside of her team and grow into it. Also give her more of a backstory. Sai has more of a backstory than she does and he’s way newer than she is.

-I would let her fuck up one of the Peins instead of Konohomaru- she’s a main character and passed over for that little brat?? She should have gotten to do more than scream out for Naruto and heal people :/

-She her intellect a bit more. She’s so smart, and yet we don’t really see it.

-She’s perfect for genjutsu, Kakashi himself said so. So why not give that to her? Or play more with ninjutsu. She has earth and water on her chart, so why not give her those abilities? Maybe even wood jutsu to even her out with her super OP teammates. Idk how, it could have happened, this is a show full of demons and god like abilities, it could have happened someway.

-She should have grown out of Sasuke and not married a man who doesn’t really appreciate her and isn’t there for her at all.

-I would totally have expanded on Inner Sakura more. Imagine if it made her mind impenetrable? Could have woven that in with her skills for genjutsu and made her unaffected by other’s illusions.

Next, let’s go with a more beloved character of the fandom. Hinata. Now personally I don’t care much for her- she could have been so cool but just like Sakura, they kind of messed her up.

What I didn’t like about Hinata:

-Her entire existence is revolves around Naruto. Naruto this, Naruto that- and yet she simply sat back and watched as his life was shit and did nothing despite her ‘love’ for him. And then fillers/movies are added to show that oh wait! she’s been there this entire time!! no lol. Build her up from the start as his love interest at the very least.

-She stayed super meek the entire time. Shy girls are okay, but I wanted to see her grow into herself more and not need as much reassurance. She’s a ninja and should stand on her own two feet more.

-She’s less skilled then Neji and I would have loved to see her outmatch him at some point, even once. Or gain abilities outside of her clan, or do something that made a name for herself outside of being the heiress of the Hyuga.

-She never fixed her clan which was one of her few spoken goals. That was a huge bummer.

-I think it would have been cool to see her mess up Pein a little more. She only stepped in because it was Naruto, which reinforces that she’s only about him. But at least let her land a hit if she’s as powerful as people say she is.

-She makes the most sense to be a housewife or a healer with the way her attitude is but in Boruto, she’s kind of rewritten to be a ‘scary’ mother which just doesn’t fit her. Plus, she tells Boruto to go and take care of his dad?? Bro, that’s your child and your husband is the hokage.

What I’d fix:

-Prove her dad wrong and show him that her compassion isn’t a weakness but a strength.

-Fix the Hyuga clan bs.

-More character growth and showing more of her life away from Naruto. Her romance with him could also have been better. I hated her always watching him but never standing up for him, it kills me.

-Neij dying for her proved their clans hierarchy bs to be right and it just doesn’t make sense for him to die for her. It showed that he was right to feel caged and that he simply existed for the benefit of the Main family.

Now with the others, there’s much less I have to say about them because they aren’t main characters or the love interests.

Ino-

-Jealous of Sakura, no dreams of her own, stupidly loves Sasuke and for what? WHAT’S SO COOL ABOUT HIM?

-I like her growth for the most part, it was cool watching her fight in the War Arc with her team.

-Why is she the medical ninja? I never got that.

-She got with Sai but they didn’t really show their development and how they fell in love with each other. It’s like she only likes him because he looks like Sasuke and called her pretty once.

Tenten-

-Should have gotten to train with Tsunade at some point, since she was the one who originally idolized her.

-We know nothing about this girl at all. She doesn’t even have a last name.

-Her weapon usage was meant to be so cool and yet she missed so often- there’s a disconnect there. Her abilities could have been built up more. Imagine if no matter what she never ever missed. That would have been cool.

-Her weapon shop isn’t doing well. Just because it’s an era of peace doesn’t mean the need for weapons is totally over, not if there are still active ninja??

Karin-

-I actually like her, she’s kind of funny and I like that she’s mean even if she can get annoying.

-Again, another healer, though she’s also sensory which is more interesting. I’d like to see her with some jutsus though. That would have been neat.

-Her love for Sasuke makes sense since he saved her and smiled at her, making her think of him as her hero. And she’s the only one he apologizes to without Naruto strong arming him into it.

Temari-

-She’s pretty solid in my opinion. Though I would have loved to see her more without her brothers.

Konan-

-Her goals in life were to support Yahiko and Nagito’s dreams. It would irritate me so much if other girls in the series were more well rounded and din’t also have some sort of dream involving a boy.

-She was underused. I would have loved to see her fight more.

Tsunade-

-Only becomes hokage to support others dreams...All of them men. And then later passes the title onto Kakashi who doesn’t even want to be Hokage either.

-No other justus used, she’s on par with Jiraya and Orochimaru and yet she’s only super strong and the best medic. She should theoretically be more well rounded than that, right? She also should be shown fighting more even if she’s a medic, she’s also s legendary sannin

-Had to be saved by 12 year old Naruto. I know it’s a show about him, but she’s meant to be a literal badass but needs a kid to save her.

Kushina-

-Wanted to become the first woman hokage and then didn’t. Her husband did. and then she became a housewife?? What?? She should have become the first woman hokage with a badass husband or had another prominent role in the village like as a council member or something.

Kurenai-

-Always lost a fight? She’s some genjutsu using badass but always lost fights.

-No real personality, she’s just chilling there. Sexy as hell though. Has a kid and that’s about it.

-What I will give her is that I’m so glad she was allowed to age. So many anime mothers always look the same as their teenage self and she looks like she can be anybody's mama.

Over all, the girls could have been handled much better. I wouldn’t find issues with any of them being housewives or all about boys if that weren’t what seems to be the standard in the anime. I just wanted more of a variety and better character development, especially for Sakura and Hinata who are the mains 😩

Now to what might REALLY piss people off- ships! I’m not trying to start some war here, this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it.

Sakura- Naruto, since they had the most development and showed more than two seconds of caring for each other. Even Sai in Shippuden has more of a connection to Sakura than Sasuke did.

Ino-Shikamaru, if she had to end up with a guy it makes sense it’d be him since they spend more time together than her and Sai did. (inosaku for the win tho)

Hinata-Shino or Kiba, again, because they spent more time with her. Naruto and her felt very rushed and I don’t quite understand the appeal.

The one that made the most sense and became canon was Shikatem, though their son’s design was lazy :D

If I do a second part, it’ll be about the boys and the ships with them that made sense to me. For now, this is all I have. If you’ve made it this far, thank you lol

byeee

#naruto #naruto meta #naruto girls #sakura haruno #hinata hyuga #tenten #temari #tsunade #ino yamanaka #konan

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a-simple-imagine · 4 years

Text

The Smarter Witch

Synopsis: You like to consider Hermione your academic rival but things begin to fall apart between the two of you when Malfoy and friends start asking questions. The reader is in Slytherin sorry.

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader (can be read as romantic or platonic)

Words: 3.5+

A/N - I’ve been rewatching all the Harry Potter Movies at the cinema recently and I think i like it more now than I ever did before. This is my first HP story so go easy on me, okay? Comments are appreciated and requests are open!!

Warnings - Swearing, excessive use of the word mudblood... i think that’s it.

"Granger," You call out, shoving your things into your bag as quick as humanly possible before charging after her. The crowd of other students growing the distance between you as you slip between them but not without almost crashing into people a bunch of times along the way. "Granger- wait." You try but she continues to walk away with Potter and Weasley beside her. You eventually manage to push your way through until you're walking in step with the trio. The girl stands in the middle, guarded by her two best friends.

"Hey," You offer them a smile, "Guess who got a perfect?"

"How?" It's instinctive to turn your nose up when it comes to Ronald Weasley. Not because of his social status like Malfoy suggests but you just found him rather... irritating. You completely ignore his question; breaking formation, you get ahead of the group and begin to carefully walk backwards so you can focus on the girl. She looked anywhere but at you, however, she had a smirk on her lips. Small but visible.

"Only because Snape favours you," The brunette proclaimed. This was routine for the two of you as of late. Always making excuses as to why the other came out on top. Only because of this. Only because of that. It was never as simple as just studying and doing well.

"You're just jealous that I'm a genius." You insist, your smile growing as you teased your own brilliance. Her head shakes a little.

"Since when were you, two friends?"

"Nobody said anything about friends Weasley-" You growl, your once happy expression morphing into one of pure distaste as you look at him. Spinning gracefully on your heel, you begin to walk normally again. "Since I'm so much smarter than you, I can help you study if you need it."

"I don't need any help from the likes of you, thank you," The likes of you? Did she mean a Slytherin? Or just someone who was smarter than her? Although you didn't actually believe you were smarter... well, not entirely anyway. Hermione Granger was often proclaimed as the smartest in your grade, didn't matter how hard you worked; you'd never quite be the promising young witch everyone seemed to think she was. Which is why you find yourself constantly competing. If you can prove to her you were smart then maybe everyone would see you as more than just a Malfoy crony.

You slap your hand against your chest just above your heart; stumbling backwards as if she just shot an arrow straight through. "Oh, how you wound me, Miss Granger. Care to share how well you did? One hundred percent?" She wouldn't have done badly at least not by everyone else's standard of bad. "Ninety maybe?" You turn back to them, coming to halt directly in front of the girl. "Merlin's beard Hermione, don't tell me you got less than eighty? That would be a travesty."

"if you don't mind, we're a little busy." She hadn't answered the question and as she walked around you, you expected she wasn't going to. "Come along Harry," she took his hand. "Ronald." And his before marching away. You watch them as they go, a smirk lingering before slipping off in search of your friends.

Come Friday afternoon and you found yourself in the great hall. The busy castle was beginning to calm and few people sat in the tables alongside the two of you. You take a sip of some water as you watch the gears in her head turn, debated her next move. At this point you already knew you would win; you always did. While everything else was more of a competition; Hermione Granger surprisingly wasn't all too hard to beat at Wizard's chess. Your Fridays together we're brilliant times to chat though, you'd often sum up any achievements from the week just to see who's doing better.

"I can't believe you beat me in history of magic again- I spent hours on that stupid essay. I basically lived in the library."

"I can help you study if you like," she offered, her eyes not leaving the board as she ordered her bishop forward. You watch as the chess piece moves along the board.

"You're not funny Granger," you tease, ordering your knight forward to take down her bishop. "Check,"

A paper ball hit the back of your head, drawing your attention away. Pansy stood with a wide grin on display, you ignored her and returned to your game but Hermione was also focused on your friend. "I think she wants your attention."

Another paper ball collides against your head. You sigh loudly before turning and mouthing 'what?'

"We're going down to the black lake? You coming?" She asked. "Or are you too busy with the Gryffindor?"

"just give me a sec." You wave her away, turning back to the other girl. "Have you moved?" She nods a little, her hair bouncing with the movements. You examine the board trying to figure out who she had moved but it didn't really matter. With a final move of your queen, the king was knocked off the board. "I do believe that is checkmate."

"I'm beginning to think you're cheating."

"Me?" You ask, pretending to be offended by the notion. "Never. How little faith you have me in, Granger."

"Slytherins are known for being cunning."

"We're not all cheating monsters, my dear sweet Gryffindor. Some of us actually have a conscience."

"I find that hard to believe," Her lips were curled into a cheeky smile. You'd never quite noticed the way her eyes crinkle when her smile is so big or how teethy it was. It was adorable.

"I gotta go- same time next week? Maybe I'll even let you win."

"I don't need you to let me win,"

"You sure?" Nothing more than a harmless joke as you stand. "How many times in a row have I won now?"

"Slither away," Hermione smiles as you back away towards Pansy. You had to admit, you did firm Hermione to be intriguing.

Being in the same year, meant you actually saw Hermione rather frequently, however, your actual interactions were limited. Yes, you played Wizard's chess together every Friday but other than that, you basically only had very short conversations. It was like being in two completely different worlds simply because you were put in different houses. This school had a weird obsession with separation by houses. You were a proud Slytherin as were you friends but your ambition to branch out was often looked at as beneath some of the others. It was dinner time and you sat at the Slytherin table but your focus was pulled towards a certain familiar Gryffindor student. She just happened to be sat in your eye line, so you couldn't help but amuse her from afar. With funny faces and playful winks. Her most common reactions were shakes of the head or rolling her eyes but you knew secretly she enjoyed the teasing.

"Are you even listening?" A sharp elbow slams into your side. You bite back a groan as you shove the boy gently.

"The hell Draco,"

"What are you staring at?" There was a particularly bite behind his words but you'd grown used to how aggressive he could come across. He was always trying to be the alpha and frankly, everyone let him be. You simply shrug at his question; grabbing an apple and taking a bite.

"What did you want?"

The grey of his eyes flickers in curiosity as he tries to figure out what had you so distracted. When you look across at Granger, she's chatting to Ginny Weasley about something.

"Sometimes I wonder if the sorting hat got it wrong with you," He muses. "Should have put you in Gryffindor since you're so obsessed with Potter."

"Says the boy who never shuts up about him." You fight back. You couldn't care less about Harry Potter or his chosen one status. You knew Malfoy hated him though; it was a little weird just how much.

"You gravely misunderstand my interest in potter."

"I don't care if you have a crush on him Malfoy," There are a few snickers around the table but he's definitely not laughing.

"Don't be ridiculous." He growled, leaving the table. It was only a joke. You follow after him along with the others.

After dinner, you're lounging in the common room. One leg hooked over the arm of the couch as you read a book all about dragons. Fascinating creatures.

"So are you and the Gryffindor friends?"

"Who?" You question. Not even looking at the blonde as he sits down beside you.

"Granger." He confirms. "Pansy thinks you have a crush or something?"

"Pansy is a liar." The joke isn't as funny when it's against you. Your feelings towards Granger was nobody else's business but your own. You were often left conflicted when it came to her. You roll your eyes, sitting up straight. "I just like proving that I'm better than her."

"You spend a lot of time with her," Goyle adds.

"So?" You finally lower your book. Your brows knitted together in a clear frown as you scan the room. A few people had invited themselves into the conversation. "I spend a lot of time with you but doesn't mean I wanna get into your pants,"

"I don't know why you associate with any of them." This was beginning to feel like a lecture. Why do they even care who you hang out with? You didn't care much for the boys but you liked Hermione. She was kind, funny and really smart. You enjoyed the little time you ultimately spent together but if you admitted that, they would crucify you.

"They'd probably say the same about you lot," you state. Bringing the large book back up to cover your face. "Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to read here,"

"You can tell us if you like her," Pansy contributes. "I mean we all know you have a soft spot for the weak."

"Are you taking pity on her?"

"Maybe she wants to start hanging out with Potter. Can you imagine?"

You grit your teeth, not at all reading the words on the page in front of you. They're just trying to get a rise out of you.

"I can't imagine anything more pathetic," Malfoy chuckles followed by a few of the others. "They're an embarrassment to the wizarding world if you ask me. Parading around like they own the place-"

"We're nothing okay?" You slap your book shut. "Not friends or secret lovers or anything, I would never date someone so.... dirty." The word slipped out before you had a chance to stop. You didn't see her that way; she was much too grand to be considered dirty. And you couldn't care less about pure bloodlines. It didn't make her any less of a fantastic witch. "I'm not joining Potter's Merry band of monkeys, so just drop it okay." Ignoring the snickers and hushed whispers, you march off to bed.

It's the Friday following your little session in the common room. You forgave them all of course; you always did. There was no point in being angry at them over some harmless teasing. You had the chessboard set up and even brought along a pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans but she was running late. Normally it was you showing up late; very unusual behaviour from someone known for punctuality. But as time ticked on and you were still left alone, you began to realise she wasn't going to turn up. Packing everything up, you decide it'll be best to search for her; something bad must have happened for her to not show at all.

"Weasley," you shout, jogging up to Harry and Ron who seemed to be missing their third arm. "You seen granger?"

"Why?" Asks the redhead. Harry presents you with a smile.

"None of your business," you spit at Ron. "Have you seen her or not?"

"Last we saw her she said she was heading to the library," Harry answered. You offer a grateful smile but you can't help but wonder why she's decided to head to the library. Was there a test you didn't know about? Was she trying to get the upper hand? Surely she could have just told you that instead of having you wait.

"Thanks, Harry," You skip along to the library but the journey proves pointless when you discover she isn't there either. You would be lying if you said you had searched particularly hard before giving up though. There was always next week. With a defeated sigh, you head back towards the common room. Luck must have been on your side because you spot her on the way back. Perched on a ledge with her head in a book. Typical Hermione Granger.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," you announce as you walk towards her. "I thought we were gonna play wizards chess so I could annihilate you again." The faintest sniffle hit your ears and you froze. Was she... crying? Shit. You don't do well with criers; you never know how to handle situations when people cry. It's always so... awkward. "What's wrong?"

"Go away." Her voice is quiet but echoes through the empty corridor.

"Granger?" You closer to her now, leaning against one of the stone columns.

"I said go away," Her words are harsh; she shoves her face further into the book. Was she trying to hide the fact she had been crying? It was pretty obvious at this point.

"What's up with you?" You wonder, folding your arms over your chest.

"I don't want to talk to you,"

"What did I do?" The confusion is very clear in your voice. You'd hardly even spoken to the girl recently so how could you have possibly upset her.

"You're as bad as the rest of them, now leave me alone," Sharp words as she grabbed her things and stormed off. As bad as the rest of them? What did that even mean? Pushing yourself upright, you follow after her.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Just some filthy mudblood am I?" Venomous words spat at you with the speed of a viper. You stumble back a little; she's never been so angry with you. Tears spill down her rosy cheeks."Malfoy told me what you said- Guess I should have known better considering your so-called friends. You're just as cruel as the rest of them."

"Hermione..." you sigh softly. You couldn't exactly defend your fellow Slytherin friends. "Why do you believe him anyway?"

"So you didn't say it then."

"No, I did," you shrug a little. "Well I said you were dirty, I didn't say... that word."

"Mudblood- Same thing though right? You think you're so much better just because you're of Pure blood."

"I didn't say that, I-"

"Just stay away from me." Her tone has you backing down from the fight. You consider following her as she charges off down the hall but instead, you go back to the dorms.

"You're a right git," you exclaim, storming into the room, grip tight on the book you launch at his head. Platinum blonde hair darts of the way.

"What the hell."

"You told her?" All eyes are on you as you confront him.

"What are you on about?"

"Hermione- you told her I thought she was dirty."

"Your words, not mine." Draco shrugged a little. A huff of a laugh passing his lips which pissed you off even more.

"I-," you look around, picking up a pillow and tossing it at him. "You are such a pain in the ass."

"Why do you care about that filthy mudblood, you said you don't even like her?"

"I don't even like you and yet we're best friends," You shout, looking at the coffee table you grab a mug and aim at the boy. Draco's hand shoots up in defense.

"Don't you dare throw that at me or I swear-" He fought back. You lower your hand and so does he then you throw it anyway, hearing it break as you collapse on the couch. "You don't need someone like that." He muses as he cautiously approaches the couch.

"We can't all be insufferable snobs Malfoy," you grumble, rather casually considering what just happened. "You mess up everything for no bloody reason"

"Probably shouldn't go around calling her dirty then," He argues. "I didn't make you say that..."

The boy hovers over the back of the couch and you shove him away. "I hate you."

You realise you have to be the one because Malfoy's not about to admit he did anything wrong. And you know at the end of the day it was your fault for saying it in the first place. You retire to your bed, no longer watching to deal with other people.

For the next week or so Hermione avoids you like the plague. You'd obviously see her in some of your classes but when you'd try to speak to her after, she'd rush out before you had a chance to so much as saying hi. If you managed to catch her gaze, she'd stare daggers; if looks could kill you'd be six feet under by now. You'd sometimes find her in the library, it was the one place she could cause a scene but neither could you. When you tried to whisper to her, she'd completely ignore you. You were beginning to miss the limited interaction you hard; Half the fun of studying was ultimately doing better than her in the end.

The girl was alone today, searching the shelves. The library was fairly empty and it was getting late. You take the opportunity to make some paper birds and send them fluttering over to her. One by one until she whispers yells at you to stop. You chuckle. Doing it again. This develops into a habit throughout the next couple of days. You'll send paper birds her way, just to get a reacting out of her. You start writing little messages on them too but you don't think she ever reads them before setting them on fire.

It becomes abundantly clear she's not giving in and therefore one day during breakfast you abandon your table and enter what Malfoy would consider enemy territory. Pushing Neville aside to sit next to Hermione. A bunch of lions look to you like you'd just entered their den without permission; in their defense, you never sit here. Hermione gets up to leave but not before you can grab her wrist.

"Can you please stop ignoring me," she yanks out of your grip, walking away to leave you surrounded by kids you've only ever spoken to in passing. You groan loudly.

"What happened between you two?" Ron asked.

"Do you ever keep out of other people's business Weasley or do you have some obsessive need to weasel your way into everything."

"Just tryna help, jeez."

"If you must know, Malfoy told her that I referred to her as a... y'know."

"Mudblood?" Harry continues for you.

"I called her dirty but I didn't mean it."

"Thought you weren't friends anyway," Ron wore a smirk like he caught you out or something so you just ignore him.

"Now she's ignoring me. I just want her to talk to me."

"Have you apologised?"

"How can I apologise if she won't bloody talk to me, Harry? I thought you were supposed to be smart." You comment, dropping your head against the table. "I've tried writing notes but she burns all of them. I'm running out of ideas, I can only be so charming."

"Can't really help you there," Ron replies.

"All the boys in this school are so bloody useless," you sigh dramatically, slamming your hands on the table to push yourself up. "You’re her best friends and you can't help? Pathetic."

You debate joining the others but you decide against it and leave the great hall. You're not hungry anymore.

"You really should stop sending paper birds," The voice catches you off guard, whipping your wand out before realising it's her.

"I'll stop if you talk to me again," You counter, lowering your wand.

"I'm not ashamed of my parents."

"And you shouldn't be." Your head falls, "I really am sorry for what I said, it was definitely a peer pressure thing and I was stupid." You blurt out. "Malfoy can just be a lot sometimes and I was trying to study so... I don't think you're less than just because your parents are muggles Hermione. Not even a little." You take a deep breath. "I just want my friend back."

She hesitates. "Oh, so we're friends now huh?"

"Only if you want to be," You shrug. There was part of you that wanted to say maybe you like her as more than that but you kept it to yourself; at least for now. "I understand if you don't like... I was really shitty."

"So Friday then?"

"What?"

"Wizards chess? I think I may be able to beat you now, I've been practising."

"Pfft not likely," You tease, your smile growing. "Friday sounds good."

// NEXT

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