#Yennefer and Ciri have all the braincells

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found.

Yennefer has no clue how Geralt always ends up getting into odd situations when he's around Jaskier

The Witcher is usually so serious and disciplined, always on guard and watching so he's ready for any threat.

He is usually the responsible one, especially with Ciri.

But for some reason, when he's around Jaskier, Yennefer notices Geralt just kind of ...loses all his braincells.

Losing his braincells is normal for Jaskier, because sometimes Yen is convinced he never had any to begin with.

She wonders what is going on in their heads.

They are just living examples of Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Geralt and Jaskier haved jumped off the roof onto a trampoline. Geralt had been more concerned with the dent he'd put in the side of Roach than with his broken wrist.

They tried to see how many of various food items they could stuff in their mouths.

Run around the house wearing dinosaur masks, and if any mail or food delivery service knocks, they are greeted by two grown men in dinosaur masks, making hissing and roaring sounds.

Drank a big glass of water on an empty stomach so they could wiggle around to hear it slosh.

Tried to slide down the stairs in laundry baskets

Jaskier came home soaking wet because he took his motorcycle through the automated car wash while Geralt recorded it.

All the 'I bet you can't...' games that always ended with minor injuries.

Dared each other to eat random things they found while on hunts or outside, like slime, goo, viscous fluids, pasty goops, bugs, etc.

Made a swimming pool in the livingroom with the two couches and a tarp, filled it with orbeez, and stayed in there all afternoon watching tv and eating pizza rolls. Yennefer had made them find every last orbee after the 'pool' burst and flooded the livingroom thousands of little balls.

Giant Sticky Hand fights

Almost got arrested because Geralt and Lambert had seen Jaskier walking, pulled over, and shoved him into the van. People thought they were witnessing a kidnapping.

Naked Nerf Gun War. It hadn't ended well.

Hover board races in spite of the fact that neither of them had ever been on a hover board.

Have spent an entire day doing the Sprite Challenge. It ended only because Geralt made a sound like a dying humpback whale and they laughed so hard they both vomited.

Made horrifying concotions of various foods and liquids, then had a competition to see was brave enough to drink it.

Tried to epilate their leg hair because "how hard could it be?" The screams... The neighbors had called the police thinking someone was being murdered.

Invited Eskel, Lambert, and Coen over, then sat in a circle, took a mouthful of water and slapped each other in the face with a tortilla. The first one to spit their water out lost.

Made flamethrowers with cans of Yennefer's hairspray and lighters and chased eachother through the house. Yennefer had not been happy.

Spent almost and hour trying to see who could make the loudest, grossest sounding fart noise with their hands or insides of their elbows.

Tried to jump on the bed hard enough to make the other bounce off

Tried to see how many times Geralt could get kicked in the balls before he couldn't get back up.

Streaked down the street in broad daylight, and then couldn't get in the house because Lambert had locked them out.

Have to poke/throw firecrackers/try to burn every wasp, hornet, and ant nest they find. Jaskier's left hand had looked like a Mickey Mouse hand and he couldn't play his guitar for several days after he got stung by a "big a** motherf***ing hornet."

Then there was the time Jaskier somehow convinced Geralt to try on a pair of Yennefer's yoga pants.

How Geralt had even managed to get into them was a mystery. Yennefer had to admit that she was impressed with how well the yoga pants had held up. She couldn't even be mad.

And of course she had taken a picture.

Now every time Geralt calls her, that picture of him pops up on the screen.

And it's not even the full picture of Geralt. It's been cropped down to where it's just Geralt's a** in those gray yoga pants.

[bestiarum]

ok so. i love the witcher books. i read them a Long time ago and the story has stayed with me all these years + i'm polish so i have this different kind of emotional attachement to it as well. and i reread the books like 10 times already. but my point here is. i really struggle to understand the trajectory of the show. and i know a lot of things have been said about it (esp season 2), and i agree with some stuff and disagree with other (e.g., that black people don't belong in slavic stories. stfu). HOWEVER. something that baffles me more than anything else i think is the way they handled the relationship between jaskier and geralt. rant below :)

cause like. some of the stuff that happens in the show does happen in the books as well. it's not that the relationship is completely different than it was in the og source material. jaskier is kind of an idiot and gets geralt into a lot of trouble. geralt does get upset with jaskier at some point and tells him a few unpleasant things. but like. the entire relationship is different?? the circumstances too? geralt doesn't get upset with jaskier for no reason, and he doesn't berate him for stuff that jaskier isn't guilty of. (in baptism of fire there is a very good reason for geralt to very decidedly tell jaskier that he's being an idiot and it would have been better if geralt "strangled him and threw him in a ditch" like some people suggested he should when they first started travelling together. and even then, in this particular book, geralt is being awful to everyone because he's Going Through Things, but it's never as baseless as in the show, and then he gets called out on it by everyone and changes his behavior. but regardless.) it's like the writers took all of the books and hand-picked the awful moments and behaviors present in their friendship and packed them into the first season (i'm not even gonna discuss season two because it's just not even remotely similar to the books sorry). i mean, geralt would NEVER not on pain of death hurt jaskier physically. the gut punch in the second episode always makes me go "well MY geralt would never". and pretty much the entire show does that as well.

the thing about this relationship and why it is so special in the books is that it provides levity. and i don't just mean that jaskier is the comic relief, i mean that jaskier brings levity into geralt's life. he's the one person who sees geralt as just human and who does not have any expectations for him (unlike yennefer, ciri, etc, all of them in different ways and for different reasons). jaskier condemns geralt's attitute towards himself multiple times (ie makes geralt understand that he isn't different and alienated from humanity by default, that he keeps expecting people to see the worst in him and treat him as some sort of exotic freak and not a person, which isn't true), allowing him to just be himself. they have fun together. like they're absolute idiots sharing one braincell sometimes and it's good!! it's fun!! he's geralt's best friend. that's literally how he's first introduced, before we even see him in the scene; nenneke tells geralt that jaskier's there to see him and asks if geralt wants to, and geralt literally says "of course, he's my friend, after all". and when nenneke tells him she doesn't understand this friendship because they're each others' complete opposites, geralt tells her "opposites attract". and that's that. none of the weird shit the show tries to pull with geralt refusing to call jaskier his friend because....? idk why actually.

their relationship is a constant. geralt and yen have issues all of the time; geralt avoids ciri for a while as well, but jaskier is someone he's always happy to see (there are actually many points in the books where geralt just sees a feather that jaskier wears on his hat or hears a "familiar peal of laughter" and immediately knows it's jaskier and always welcomes the bard into his company). and yeah, jaskier does drive geralt crazy because he's annoying and extravagant and kind of an idiot, but it's always met with something more akin to fond exasperation than with the cold annoyance that we get in the show.

in the books, they sleep in the same bed multiple times. they share physical contact. they save each other multiple times (jaskier stays in dangerous situations just because he doesn't want to leave geralt and instead tries to help him and geralt once calls jaskier crazy for thinking that he could ever leave jaskier in danger). in the last wish, after the djinn, geralt learns that jaskier will not be able to sing, but that he'll survive and be able to talk, and STILL geralt sits down in a corner resting his face on closed fists. and then says that he'd sit his bare ass on a scorpion if it meant that jaskier would be okay. and THEN keeps negotiating with yen so that jaskier is completely unharmed. meanwhile in the show we get a mere "yeah we won't let that happen" when jaskier is DYING. and in the lady of the lake, as they say goodbye, geralt says "daj pyska, stary durniu" which literally translates to "give me your face/mouth, old fool" and is used as an invitation to kiss someone platonically. can you imagine show geralt asking jaskier to kiss him? neither can i.

idk it's just so weird to me that they keep saying how "male friendship is so important blah blah" while making their relationship more of a one sided romance on jaskier's part, when they have SO much material in the books. and i'm bitter lmao

[neechees]

Do you like the witcher live action or do you like the game more

Mm there's different things to like about both, but I think I like the games more. I'm also slowly making my way through the books! Also probably gunna watch The Hexer (Polish miniseries) at some point.

I don't like what the Netflix series did with some of the characters & plot, particularly in the second season. Like:

Eskel. Just. All of Eskel. But also him dying. He's literally one of the witchers who are still alive in both the games & the books

Yennefer & the stupid Baba Yaga sideplot with her losing her powers, that shit literally did not happen at all. The whole reason why she meets up with Geralt & Ciri in the first place is so she can teach Ciri to control her magic. Also she literally would not harm a child??

The guys being kind of misogynist & mean to Ciri? Them not realizing Ciri got her period & Triss calling out their bullshit was accurate, but in the books its moreso out of them being idiots (rather than outright malicious or mean) who have never had to think about that because 1. They don't train girls and 2. They haven't had kids around in YEARS. they're a bunch of incompetent uncles operating on one shared braincell. & then they improve later. The main one who acts kinda shitty is Lambert, & it's mostly towards Triss & it's bc he likes to piss her off

However, there are some other stuff I liked, like the casting choices & the actors' portrayals, the music & vibes are lovely, & they even pay homage to the games a few times!

[king-finnigan]

Witchers don’t get affected by poisons like humans do

They don’t get affected At All, as a matter of fact. 

So they start using it as spices in their food cause poison is a lot cheaper to get than actual spices. (there’s a social commentary about the state of the Continent in there somewhere, I can feel it.)

They love the Flavours, though.

Hmmmmm. Tasty Arsenic-Laced Dinner.

Geralt’s favourite is Cyanide.

Eskel really likes Wolfsbane.

Vesemir is impartial to any poison, but prefers Belladonna.

Lambert loves any and all poisonous mushrooms. No particular reason.

(yes particular reason. he likes getting high)

When Ciri arrives at Kaer Morhen, she nearly eats the poison dinner, but Vesemir, the only Kaer Moron with braincells (the Kaer Not-So-Moron, if you will) slaps the fork out of her hand.

“CIRI DON’T EAT THAT IT WILL KILL YOU” Lambert, who cooked dinner that night: Rude.

All the Kaer Morons get a thorough wooden-spoon-beating afterwards.

The same thing happens with Jaskier, except when Vesemir tries to slap the fork out of his hand, he just turns away and shovels it all into his mouth.

He Doesn’t Die.

What The Fuck.jpg

When they ask him about it he just winks and says “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

After watching him eat straight-up poison for dinner for a few weeks, they ask again, though. Each time he has a different answer.

“I’m a Siren.” “The Fae won’t let me die.” “I’m a spy and I’ve made myself immune to every poison in existence.” “I just look at Death and say No.” 

The Kaer Morons can tell if someone’s lying. Either Jaskier’s speaking the truth every time or he’s very very good at lying.

They never ask again.

They’re all terrified of Jaskier now. 

Geralt: jokes on you that’s the thing that turns me on.

Sometimes an idiot noble will try to poison a Witcher and every time they’re just like “Ahhhh, tastes just like home,” and eat like four plates worth of food. 

“I have tried to kill the Witcher.” “You’ve wasted some perfectly good poison, is what you did. Look at him. He wants even more.”

After a few decades, nobles learn to stop trying.

The Witchers get sad cause suddenly banquets taste very bland to them :(

Noble who doesn’t feel like killing Witchers, watching Jaskier sprinkle a powder into Geralt’s dinner: Let me see what you have

Jaskier, already carrying the plate to Geralt: Arsenic :D

Noble: NO!!!!!

Guard: Oh my gods why does he have Arsenic

And yes, Jaskier lovingly starts carrying a plethora of poisons around for Geralt at all times. 

People quickly learn not to steal a Witcher’s food. So that’s a plus.

Yennefer sees this whole ordeal and sees a business opportunity.

She invents some Fancy New Poisons That Taste Very Good and starts selling them to all the Witcher schools. (The Wolf school gets a 50% discount. But only because Ciri would get upset otherwise.)

#Capitalism™

Merchant (not Yennefer), watching a Witcher buy his entire stock of poison: *quietly* what the fuck. what the fuck.

Witcher: oh, don’t worry, I’m not gonna use it to kill someone. I’m gonna eat it.

Merchant (still not Yennefer): what the fuck?????

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

"I'm truly sorry, but I don't think we've ever met." memory loss angst? 👉👈🥺

anon... fam, this turned into an emotional rollercoaster and totally stole my braincell.

3.8k words. angst with a happy ending. 

tw: memory loss, minor anxiety, repressed memories, idiots to lovers, whump, angst with a happy ending, angst with a fluffy ending

---

It’s been three hours, five minutes, and forty-two seconds since the frigid breeze whipped Geralt’s angry words at him, shattering his fragile, stupid heart to pieces. Every syllable rings through Jaskier’s head over and over, slamming into him from all directions and crippling him with a bone-deep pain far worse than anything he’s ever felt before. The ache ebbs and flows, lancing through him with every step. Not even Geralt’s first frustrated blow to his abdomen had been this terrible.

Geralt… That’s the problem, isn’t it? He hadn’t been smart enough to get out of the gorgeous Witcher’s long, silvery hair soon enough. He’d overstayed his welcome, fallen in love in the meantime, and is now very out of sorts (and also alone in unfamiliar territory). The bard laughs but it’s a hollow sound. Jaskier has reached the edge of hysteria, his intelligent blue eyes now vacant and unseeing. Even as he stumbles through the underbrush, all he can picture is the snarl on Geralt’s face as the Witcher yells at Destiny to take Jaskier off his hands. 

Jaskier’s own hands are covered in sap and splinters from pushing tree branches away from his face as he traverses the darkening forest. His hair is full of debris and his clothes are torn and dirty; Geralt has all of his emergency supplies, still. Jaskier is pretty sure that his lute is still strapped over his shoulder but he realizes, with no small amount of surprise, that he doesn’t actually care.

He doesn’t have the capacity anymore. 

He can’t care… caring hurts too much.

If only Destiny had taken him off Geralt’s hands. Maybe then it would be okay. Maybe then, if Geralt was well and truly free of him and his irritating presence, the Witcher could be happy. He and Yennefer will surely come back around, they always seem to, and Ciri will be joining them soon enough it seems. 

There’s no need - no room - for a humble bard anymore.

Only five hours, thirty minutes, and twelve seconds after Geralt’s outburst at the top of the mountain, Jaskier’s delicate human body succumbs to the stress of the day.

He drops to the forest floor without a sound, grateful for the darkness.

---

Yennefer finds the bard in a heap a few miles away from the previous night’s elevated campsite. When she presses the back of her hand to his forehead she yanks it away almost immediately; he’s burning up, and his skin is clammy and sticky with sweat. The feathery bangs he flicks about and preens so much are stuck to his forehead and temples. He’s on the verge of shaking apart and Yennefer tosses her head imperiously, swearing.

“Damnit, Geralt. You and your incredibly foolish need to be alone all the time so you can brood and self-flagellate. Me, an ageless sorceress from one of the greatest magic schools on the Continent? I can handle a thorough tongue lashing. Fuck, I’m older than you and I’ve seen far worse but this… oh, you great lummox. You absolute bastard…” Yennefer mutters to herself as she assesses the bard’s deteriorating state of health, ranting to an invisible Geralt all the while. “You’re absolutely going to be hearing from me about this, Wolf.”

--- Three days, one hour, and fifteen minutes after Geralt dismissed him forever, Jaskier wakes up with a loud gasp and a violent shudder. He blinks slowly, allowing his eyes to adjust to the bright light streaming in through a window. Whatever he’s lying on is comfortable and the sheets smell fresh and bright, like lilac and freesia. A hint of gooseberry lies beneath it all, delicate and sweet. He glances around the space and finds it to be relatively bare; a guest room, perhaps. Maybe he’s a servant at some noble house? 

Jaskier only really knows that his name is Jaskier and that he plays music. He’s also rather talented with floral arrangements. 

Shortly after he’s finished purveying his (borrowed?) chamber, the very image of grace, beauty, and terror enters the room. The woman, whose coppery skin and enchanting violet eyes practically glow in the midafternoon sun, smiles down at him in a way that toes the line between Motherly and Shark-like. 

“How are you feeling, Jaskier?”

“I’m alright. And you?”

“Just fine. Geralt really did a number on us, huh?” she asks, a playful grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. He has the feeling that something isn’t right; she shouldn’t be looking at him so kindly. 

Her expression changes from friendly to horrified to confused in an instant, as soon as Jaskier manages to ask: “Who’s Geralt? And, pardon me, but I feel as if something is rather amiss. Who are you, my Lady?”

Whoever the gorgeous and terrifying woman is, she grimaces briefly. Then, as if by magic, the comforting smile returns. “I’m Yennefer, of course. I saved your life a few years ago, remember?”

Jaskier wracks his brain but cannot call the occasion to mind. “Unfortunately no, I don’t remember your no doubt heroic deed. Although I suppose that means I’m in your debt, doesn’t it? Do I work for you? Is that why I’m here?”

The woman blinks a few times, slowly, and then nods. “You’re my gardener and personal musician.”

Jaskier brightens, happy to have found himself in a safe environment. 

“But you’ve had a nasty illness and your mind is clearly fatigued. Rest another day or two and then we can see about getting you back into the fresh air.”

“Thank you, my Lady,” Jaskier nods.

“Yen is fine.”

“Thank you, Yen. I don’t know where I’d be without you,” he grins. 

---

Yennefer turns away to hide her pained expression. You’d probably still be with your beloved Witcher. 

She makes her way to the kitchen to fix Jaskier something to eat. He must be hungry after spending three days in a deep, healing sleep. She hadn’t been expecting the amnesia, though; it was an unexpected but not unsurprising turn of events. Heartbreak had done stranger things than a little bit of fever-induced memory loss. When she’d delved briefly into his mind she hadn’t seen any sign of Geralt. His face was absent from the bard’s consciousness; she would have needed to dig to unearth those memories. Whatever the Witcher had done was grievous, especially if Jaskier’s mind compensated with something as dramatic as burying Geralt completely to save itself from further harm.

No matter, she decides, the bard can stay here as long as he likes. It’s the least I can do for all the upset Geralt and I have caused him. Where is that idiot Witcher, anyway?

The sorceress quickly clears her agenda and her mind before returning to her guest room with a large tray of food, a bottle of Toussainti red under her arm. “Jaskier, darling, let’s get your convalescence started in style!”

---

2 months later

---

Jaskier watches a strange man ride up the long path to Yennefer’s manor, the hilts of his twin swords glinting in the sun where they’re slung over his shoulder. He has long white hair and the most devastating jawline the bard/gardener (or ‘bardener’ as he says to irritate his darling employer) has ever laid eyes on. He’s clad all in black, from his plain linen shirt to his tight leather trousers; Jaskier thinks he’d also look rather lovely in dark blue or perhaps forest green.

In front of him, wrapped securely against his chest by one strong arm, sits a little girl with ashen hair and frightened eyes. Haunted eyes. Jaskier’s mind fills with ballads, some familiar and some oddly dreamlike, their lyrics half-obscured and hazy. Ciri, he thinks for no reason. Her name is Ciri. And she is a Princess.

The brunette scurries from the garden alongside the house to the kitchen, searching for the familiar cloud of Yennefer’s strong perfume. “My Lady?” 

“Darling?” the sorceress replies, coming around the corner. She raises her perfectly maintained eyebrows and her lips quirk up into a smirk. “Did you sprint all the way from the west lawn?”

“There’s a- strange man- on the- drive!” he huffs. “White hair- horse!”

“Oh,” her eyes go wide with surprise. Then, in a split second, they narrow to slits. “Oh.”

“Do you, uhm, know him?” Jaskier asks, twiddling his fingers. “He’s rather handsome, Yen. Is he a former lover?”

“Unfortunately,” she growls. “I can’t believe it’s taken him two fucking months to get here. He’d better have a damned good excuse.”

By now Jaskier can breathe normally again and he straightens up, shaking his long, shaggy hair from his eyes. “He had a child with him. She looked scared, Yen.”

“Cirilla!”

Yennefer dashes for the front door and Jaskier follows instinctually. They’re always together and he can’t bear to let her confront this man alone. He’s spent every waking moment with Yen since he awoke that first day and she has grown to be his dearest friend; he’ll protect her even unto death. “Yenna, what’s wrong? Who is he!?”

“Geralt of Rivia,” she snarls. The name seems familiar; maybe from a ballad or story? Perhaps Yen has mentioned him before? 

“What about Geralt of Rivia?” a low, rumbling bass asks from the front hallway. Jaskier and Yennefer arrive in the doorway together and the man, Geralt apparently, takes a shaky step back. He recoils a bit, as if he’s been slapped, and Yennefer’s smile grows cruel. His voice, still incredibly low but now with a slight tremor to it, stutters out; “Wha- Yen, what is he- Jaskier? I only came to ask for help with Ciri, I didn’t know- I didn’t-”

Geralt’s stammered speech tapers off into silence and Yennefer’s brow furrows a second time. When the sorceress sets eyes on the child, who cannot be more than twelve years old, her expression softens again. Jaskier watches the most imposing woman in the world kneel, taking one small, pale hand in both of her own. “My name is Yennever of Vengerberg, former Sorceress of Aretuza. I am honored to meet you, Princess Cirilla. Geralt has come seeking protection, no doubt, and it is easily granted. I will do everything I can to help you.”

“Thank you, Lady Yennefer. And, uhm… Ciri’s fine,” the girl replies. Her voice is high and reedy, shot through with anxiety. She’s so young, Jaskier frowns. And yet she seems to have weathered an incredible storm.

“Ciri,” the bard bows from the doorway, low and dramatic. He sweeps his arm out to the side and bends his knees as awkwardly as possible, “I am Jaskier, private troubadour and gardener extraordinaire, under the employ of the magnanimous and dangerous Lady Yennefer, here. It is my greatest honor to make your very mighty and very royal acquaintance.”

“You’re silly, Master Jaskier,” the child giggles, hiding her mouth behind her hands. Geralt’s eyes grow wide and dart between Jaskier and the girl. Yennefer makes meaningful eye contact before nodding toward the door. Jaskier looks down at Ciri again when she asks: “Do you grow lots of flowers in Lady Yennefer’s garden, or just herbs and things for magic?” 

“I grow lots of things all over the property,” the brunette man steps forward and offers Ciri his hand, gesturing towards the front door with the other. “Would you like to come and take a look? I know all the scientific names, you can even quiz me if you like.”

“I know some,” she smiles shyly, accepting the offered hand. “May I go take a look at the gardens, Geralt?”

“Go ahead,” the Witcher nods dumbly. “Jaskier will take good care of you.”

“That I will. Now, let’s take a look at the flowers and let these silly adults have a chat,” Jaskier grins. He winks at Yennefer and disappears out the door, exiled Princess in tow. 

The two lively companions have toured through all the medicinal herbs and are halfway through Yennefer’s large collection of rose variations when the two other members of the party approach. Geralt looks sheepish, his eyes downcast. Yennefer looks triumphant; she is radiant in her victory as always. 

Geralt steps forward, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “Jaskier, I’ve come to apologize for what happened when we parted.”

“Excuse me?” the bard chuckles, raising an eyebrow.  "I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, exactly.”

“When I yelled at you after the dragon hunt. It was only two months ago, Jaskier, surely you remember?”

Jaskier blushes, glancing anxiously between Geralt and his friend, whose violet eyes are stormy with emotion, “I'm truly sorry, but I don't think we've ever met."

Geralt gasps sharply and takes a step back, as he did in the entryway. Jaskier winces, seemingly on instinct, and shies away from the larger man. “You don’t remember me?”

“No…” Jaskier sighs. “I really don't. Should I?”

“You don’t… You don’t even remember Toss a Coin?”

“Oh, that ditty from town?” Jaskier perks up. “I know that song! It always gets stuck in my head.”

“You… You wrote that song,” Geralt’s face crumples. “About our first adventure together outside of Posada. With the elves and the sylvan...”

“I’ve never been to Posada,” Jaskier laughs, waving his hand dismissively. “They hate bards. They prefer troupes of traveling play-actors. Posada is far too serious for my tastes.”

Geralt seems to be in agony. His chest rises and falls unevenly, as if he’s on the verge of tears but unable to shed them. Can Witchers cry? 

How does he know that Geralt is a Witcher? Is it the two swords, the scars, or the strange eyes? How does he know that those are common Witcher traits?

His stomach lurches and he turns away from the group in case he needs to be sick. The ground spins and shivers in little ripples around him, unstable and impermanent beneath his feet. Yennefer is calling his name from somewhere far away and a pair of warm, strong arms are looped around his waist. Still, he can’t seem to breathe. Or focus.

There’s something missing. 

He starts to hum, trying to remember the words of that damned song.

The rest of the world fades in and out around him, finally disappearing altogether.

---

He’s gorgeous. 

Jaskier shoves another roll into his pocket. His eyes are focused on the man in the corner. He has long, snow-white hair and his shoulders are hunched forward protectively, as if he can hold the world out by sitting by himself. He’s glaring the table into submission, one fist clenched around his tankard. 

I want to write him a thousand ballads. I want to know what his hair looks like when he wakes up in the morning, before he brushes it out again. I want to know if he snores. I want… he stops himself. 

He makes his way across the room with eyes only for the stranger. “I love the way you just sit in the corner and brood.”

The man looks away and Jaskier notices that his irises are gold. “I’m here to drink alone.”

Gods, his fucking voice… Velvet and gravel all at once. Melitele, does Jaskier want. “Good, yeah. Good. No one else hesitated to comment on the quality of my performance… except for you.”

The man, the Witcher, Jaskier realizes, rolls his eyes.

“Come on,” he wheedles, sitting down across from the gorgeous stranger. “You don’t want to keep a man with bread in his pants waiting. You must have some review for me, three words or less.”

The man’s face stays stoic, expressionless. “They don’t exist.”

He realizes shortly thereafter that this man is not just any Witcher but the infamous Butcher of Blaviken, Geralt of Rivia. He could try to disengage himself from such a daunting character; he could easily make some kind of excuse and disappear back to the troubadour’s path, heading towards civilization, but it’s already too late. He doesn’t want to leave Geralt’s side ever again; he wants to write all those ballads he was thinking about earlier, when he glanced across the room. 

Jaskier has fallen head over heels in love. ---

Geralt cradles Jaskier against his chest and presses his nose deep into those chestnut brown waves. “Wake up, Jaskier. Come back to me, bard, it’s been too long.”

“Don’t you usually go all winter without seeing him?” Yennefer asks from the doorway. 

“It’s hell,” he replies easily. There’s no point in hiding his feelings from her. “I miss him every minute of every day.”

“Verbose this evening,” she remarks, taking a seat by the fire. “He’s dreaming, you know. He’s remembering you.”

“He’d forgotten?”

“He’d repressed it all,” she shrugs. “When I found him that day, feverish and nearly dead on the side of that godsforsaken mountain, he was barely coherent enough to open his eyes. He just kept asking for you, Geralt. Over and over he called for you, reaching his arms up, weak as they were. Gods, it was pitiful to watch.”

Geralt swallows. 

“I thought you were going to come back sooner. I was surprised when his memories didn’t resurface after two or three weeks. Short-term memory loss after a fever isn’t uncommon but repressing twenty years worth of feelings and experiences-” she whistles lowly “-it was impressive and tragic, all at once.”

“He forgot me?”

“Entirely.”

Geralt glances down, shame-faced. He adjusts Jaskier in his arms, holding him close and pillowing the bard’s head against his shoulder. “I deserve it, Yen.”

“He’s remembering now, though. He’ll probably be a little less than pleased to see you when he wakes up, but he knows who you are.”

“When will he wake?”

“Can’t say,” she shrugs again. “After I brought him back from the mountain it took three days for him to wake up. The first day was magically induced but after that it was just him… exhausted and heartbroken to the point of self-induced amnesia.”

“Fuck, Yen,” Geralt groaned, pressing his forehead into the soft warmth of Jaskier’s cheek. “How can I make it up to him?”

“Stay.”

“Hmm?”

“When he wakes up and he’s angry and upset, stay. Don’t stomp off or blow up or freak out,” she instructs. “If he asks you to leave, go, but otherwise… prove yourself, Geralt of Rivia. You wanted to be a knight once, didn’t you? Now’s your chance to play Prince Charming. Get down on your lovely knees and beg and apologize.”

“Hmm. How’s Ciri?”

“Fed, bathed, and put to bed. I’ll take care of her for as long as it takes you two morons to make nice again. Good luck, Geralt, I’m sure he’ll forgive you too easily for my tastes.”

She stands from her seat and leaves just as efficiently as she entered, carefully closing the door behind her. Geralt lays Jaskier back on the bed and takes a seat beside him on the mattress, kneeling just within touching distance, should Jaskier reach out for reassurance in his sleep. Geralt closes his eyes and slips easily into meditation. 

The Witcher is pulled from his trance a few hours later when Jaskier makes a startled sound and tries to sit up. Geralt opens his eyes and splays one warm, broad hand against Jaskier’s chest, forcing him back against the goose down pillows. “Stay still, Jaskier. You’re feverish and weak.”

“I’m still dreaming,” the bard grumbles, reaching to rub at his eyes with the heels of his hands. It’s adorable and Geralt grins widely, warmth spilling into his chest from some newly discovered fount of happiness. “You’re being too nice to me, Witcher.”

“I’m so sorry, Jaskier, for everything.”

“What’s everything, Geralt?”

“I’m sorry for pushing you away when I was angry and confused instead of communicating with you. I’m sorry for hurting you with my brash words and foolish actions; you have always deserved so much better and I’m so afraid that I can never give that to you. I take the wrong step at every turn, it seems, and yet you stay by my side. I didn’t want to risk hurting you the way I’ve already hurt Yen and Ciri, by tying us together against your will.”

“Darling Geralt,” the bard sighs. The Witcher scoots slightly closer and Jaskier lays a gentle hand atop his thigh. “It has always been my greatest pleasure to travel the Path with you and write of our adventures. I appreciate your concern for my agency and wellbeing, dear heart, but I am quite happy spending my entire human life in your presence.”

“Hmm,” the Witcher frowns. “You’re going to die someday.”

“And? So are you. So shall Yennefer, maybe.”

“Not likely,” Geralt jokes. Jaskier grins and the sight of it is so heartwarming that the Witcher wishes he could break down into tears. At least then Jaskier could see just how deeply his feelings ran. “I’m sorry, Jaskier, for blaming you for things that I brought upon myself. I love you dearly, and I hope that someday you can choose to travel with me again.”

“Excuse me?”

“I hope that you’ll-”

“No, the other bit.”

“I love you?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Oh. Yes, I-” Geralt clears his throat and looks Jaskier in the eyes, gold and blue locked together, “I love you very much, Jaskier.”

“Fuck.”

“May I kiss you, Jaskier?”

“Yes,” the bard breathes.

And then Geralt is lifting him up into his lap, one hand cradling Jaskier’s skull so so fucking carefully. Geralt’s other arm supports his waist, holding him steady. Their lips come together softly, carefully, and Jaskier’s soul spirals up to the ceiling with joy, his body abandoned. He is merely a vessel for the happiness that comes with kissing his Witcher. When they pull apart, both men are grinning like fools. “Oh, dear heart.”

“Yes, my love?”

“Never stop calling me that.”

“I swear I won’t, my love.”

From downstairs, Geralt hears Yennefer mutter, “Fucking finally.”

It takes twenty-two years, seven months, and one day, but Geralt and Jaskier manage to figure things out.

[clintbartonswife]

'cause darling I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades

Pairings: Geralt of Rivia x Jaskier, Yennefer x Triss Summary: Geralt uses his braincell, Jaskier no longer has to doubt and Ciri and Yennefer plot. Notes: mentions of injury, recovery, self-doubt, nakedness, thoughts of sex but no graphic descriptions masterlist  ||  one  ||  two  ||  three  ||  four  ||  five  || seven

Waking up in Geralt’s lap was not an experience Jaskier thought he would ever have, but one that was every bit as good as he imagined it would be.

The bard laid there for a few moments in shocked wonder, his foggy brain reeling as he tried to grasp that this was happening, when Geralt’s voice startled him.

“I know you’re awake”

Through the thickness of his embarrassment, Jaskier could’ve sworn that the Witcher sounded amused. Peaking one eye open to make sure, he held back his shock at the small smile pulling at the man’s lips.

“‘m ‘wake” he mumbled, body preparing to move, “s’rry I kept you”

Sword-calloused hands gently gripped his arms, assisting him into an upright position.

“You didn't keep me” his voice was soft, and the Witcher hesitated slightly, before quietly adding, “it was nice to hold you”

Jaskier’s cheeks blazed, a meek smile pulling at his lips.

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, neither of them willing to move and break the contact between their bodies, Jaskier revelling in the warmth that poured from the Witcher’s body.

“My face...” the bard trailed off again head turning to vacantly stare at the mirror, self-hatred starting to brew within him once again.

Geralt frowned, hating the despondent  look on his face, tightening his hold ever so slightly, “Holds the proof of your bravery”

“They ruined me”

The whispered admission rung out across the room like a scream, the broken edge to the words stabbing through Jaskier’s heart. Silence descended once more, though this time weighted with the acknowledgement of what was lost.

“When you see my scars... do you think they are disgusting?”

“What? Of course not! Geralt who would dare -”

A flash of realisation flashed over the bard’s face, the smaller man relaxing back into Geralt’s arms, “Oh, I see what you’re doing. Clever Witcher”

The deep chuckle rumbled from the Witcher’s chest, Jaskier smiling despite himself at the rare noise.

The two of them sat there for the rest of the morning.

"Hey, Ciri. Can you come here for a moment?”

The young girl walked into the kitchen, curious eyes immediately fixing on to Jaskier sat in the corner, face pale but looking proud of himself.

“Jaskier!” she squealed, rushing over to give him a careful hug, warmth blooming inside her at the smile that pulled at the man’s lips, “You made it down!”

“And all by myself as well” he replied, chin resting on the top of her head. He then dropped his voice to a whisper, leaning down to whisper in her ear conspiringly, “Geralt tried to carry me down but I wouldn't let him”

Ciri giggled at the image, stepping back to finally face Triss, “You called me?”

The sorceress nodded fondly, gesturing for her to come over to the stove, “Yesterday you asked to learn potions -”

Ciri squealed, “Really? You’ll really let me?”

The woman laughed, shaking her head at her excitement, “Not so fast, princess. Before letting you near potions, I want to see how you handle cooking”

The blonde’s smile dropped, leaving a look of confused distaste, “Cooking?”

Jaskier muffled a snicker from where he was sat, earning a glare from the young girl.

“Yes, cooking. If you can successfully make a stew without burning the cottage down then I can assume that you’re also capable of doing the same for potions”

Ciri’s frown didn't dissipate, crossing her arms as she grumbled.

“Of course” Yennefer interrupted, a teasing lilt to her voice, “If you don't want to you can just go back to doing weapon drills with Geralt”

At that the princess jumped to attention, peering into the simmering pot with exaggerated interest, “So cooking?”

Jaskier laughed again, a strong hearty sound, at the look of offence that flashed across the Witcher’s face, “I’m sure she only meant that she wanted to try something new Geralt. You don't have to look so shocked”

The Witcher grumbled something under his breath, though Ciri could see the sides of his lips quirk into an almost invisible smile. The expression warmed something within her, looking between the two men with barely reserved curiosity. If Jaskier could make Geralt smile that easily, she wondered why the two of them were so obviously distancing themselves, to the point of sitting on opposite sides of the kitchen.

Yen smirked from beside her, a knowing glint in her eye. 

“Men can be idiots sometimes” the sorceress whispered, “these two especially”

Ciri nodded, a plan brewing in her head. Seeing this, Yennefer snorted, “Excellent idea princess”

“If we have to move tomorrow, would it be too much hassle to ask for a bath?”

Jaskier sunk back into his chair as all eyes swirled back to him, a small embarrassed noise escaping his lips, “Or not. Never mind - forget i asked”

“Don't be silly bard” Yennefer chastised, looking him up and down, “You need a bath. I just don't think you’re strong enough to bathe yourself yet without accidentally drowning and Melitele knows I’m not going to help you”

Ciri nodded earnestly, “I’d be worried”

She then turned to fix her violet eyes on Triss pointedly, the sorceress shrugging with a small smile, “Sorry Jaskier, but giving you that sponge bath when you first got here was the extent of my generosity in that area”

Jaskier sighed disappointedly, shoulders sagging in defeat, “Oh well. Cant blame me for asking, thank you for-”

“I can help”

Geralt spoke so quietly that Jaskier almost missed it, but judging from the predatory smile that rose on Yennefer and Ciri’s face, there was no escaping.

“What a wonderful idea, Geralt”

The bard turned to face him, eyes wide, “If it’s not too much trouble...”

The Witcher looked pained, clearing his throat before offering his hand, nodding towards the doorway, “Not at all. I’d be ... glad to help”

Jaskier raised from his seat unsteadily, grasping the hand to steady himself, all the while trying to will away the blush that was steadily creeping up his neck at the thought of Geralt near his naked body.

As they walked to the bathroom, his thoughts strayed to their earlier conversations - confessions masked with shy smiles. He frowned, doubt seeping into his mind. Had they confessed? Or was Jaskier reading in to something that wasn't there yet again?

He had asked Geralt about the sorceress - he was sure of it. Geralt hadn't denied their involvement, just changed the subject completely. 

“You alright?”

Jaskier slapped on a quick smile, flashing it at the older man with a nod, before the thoughts took hold of him again.

If he was in fact still with Yennefer, then why did she seem so determined to get Geralt to help Jaskier bathe. Was she teasing him? No. They were friends now, surely.

‘not even monsters will want you now’

A small whimper escaped his lips as he became overwhelmed, limbs becoming shaky. Would they leave him behind as they moved on? Left alone to be captured again -

“Jaskier, hey - hey look at me. Focus on me,” Geralt said, his voice soothing the bard, “That’s it, good boy”

The praise seemed to electrify Jaskier, another whimper escaping him. Geralt’s eyes widened slightly, the older man filing that information away for later, before helping Jaskier to sit down on the side of the tub.

“Sorry” he mumbled, eyes still locked with Geralt’s amber ones.

“Nothing to be sorry about” Geralt replied, lifting his left hand to cup the bard’s cheek gently, the other keeping him steady on the rim of the bath tub, “What set you off?”

Jaskier breathed out shakily, deciding to narrowly avoid the problem, “When... when you all leave, am I coming with you?”

Geralt blinked, a look of confusion and hurt flashing across his eyes, “of course you are. Why would you think that we were leaving you?”

A bitter chuckle escaped his lips, “Look at me Geralt. I’m only going to slow you down. Plus, you and Yennefer are going to get bored of having me around again at some point and it’ll be the mountain all over again -”

Geralt frowned, things suddenly starting to make a lot more sense. 

“Jaskier... Yennefer and I are not together”

The bard spluttered, eyes widening, “I - what - “ 

The soft smile returned to Geralt’s face, the man now knowing how to fix the situation, “We’re not together. We decided that we could work together for Ciri but that’s it”

“So... what you said the other day... I didnt read that wrong?”

Jaskier flushed, ducking his head as his hopeful question settled heavily in the air. The bard wanted to move, to submerge himself in the magically conjured water behind him - anything to escape the sudden hush that had fallen over the room.

Instead, he found his chin being guided upwards, lips caressing his softly - hesitantly. Before he had time to react, the Witcher withdrew.

“I’m sorry I -”

Getting his wits back, Jaskier launched himself at Geralt, reattaching their lips with a smile, hands cupping the sides of his face. The Witcher let out a shocked noise, before melting into the embrace, his strong arms wrapping around the bard’s waist and holding him securely, not letting him fall. 

Detaching their lips for breath, Jaskier grinned, happiness overwhelming him.

“Well, dearheart, I can safely say that was every bit as amazing as I thought it would be”

Geralt smiled shyly, his swollen lips giving him a look so utterly debauched that it took everything in Jaskier to not attack him once again. Instead, sparing a thought for how his body ached just from the make out session, he reached out with his hands, entwining them with the Witcher’s.

Sensing he wasn't going to speak, Jaskier spared a glance at the water, raising an eyebrow, “If it’s all the same to you, I’d still love to have my bath. Will you still help me?”

As if waiting for an instruction, Geralt nodded and pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hairline before releasing his hands and moving over to a bag in the corner of the room.

“I thought you might like to use these” he said, presenting a jar of bath salts.

Jaskier’s smile widened, nodding, “Yes please dear”

Geralt seemed to swell slightly with pride, dropping a few of the salts in the bath before putting the jar aside, turning back to him and carefully removing his shoes. Jaskier began to hum as Geralt worked to undress him, filling the silence almost absentmindedly. 

“I missed you on the road” Geralt said, his low voice hesitating as he reached the buttons for his shirt, eyes flicking up for permission.

Jaskier smiled hesitantly at him, humming his assent, watching as Geralt took the last piece of clothing off, revealing his body. Turning around without a word, Jaskier climbed into the tub, flinching at Geralt’s sharp inhale.

A light touch ghosted over the whip-scars on his back, the sensation making Jaskier shiver, shoulder’s tensing as he waited for him to leave - to be so disgusted by what he saw that he had to walk away before the sight of Jaskier made him sick.

‘you’re ruined little birdy, who’s gonna love you now’

He was stupid to think that Geralt could’ve possibly-

The Witcher’s head rested gently between his shoulder blades, lingering there for a few seconds.

“I should’ve made them suffer” Geralt snarled, retracting from his body, instead gripping the side of the tub so hard the copper groaned.

Shocked, Jaskier turned, only to be met with a face full of grief and regret, not a sign of disgust anywhere. Relaxing slightly, Jaskier placed a hand over his, gazing up at the Witcher with barely restrained adoration.

“You killed them” he said, squeezing his hand reassuringly, “They cant hurt me anymore”

Geralt ‘hmm’ed, lifting his spare hand to trace the bard’s cheek. He closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle touch, and leaned into the hand, “You saved me from them, Geralt. Without you I don't know where I’d be”

The raw honesty made Jaskier shiver, the reality of the situation making his bones ache in his body as remembered the endless days of torture. Geralt frowned, sensing the bard’s discomfort and knelt by the side of the bath so that they were level.

“It’s my fault that you were there in the first place”  

“Geralt, no. You cant think like that” Jaskier murmured, sadness lining his every feature, “None of it was your fault - I’m a bard, these risks come with the job”

“But they asked you about me” Geralt replied, voice cracking.

“And I would’ve gladly died before letting you up”

A growl ripped from the Witcher’s chest, “No”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry - that was the wrong thing to say” 

Jaskier reached up to smooth the frown lines from the Witcher’s face, before leaning forwards and connecting their lips once more in a chaste kiss, “We’re safe... Now if you really don't mind I would love for you to wash my hair”

Geralt huffed a laugh at Jaskier’s bluntness, pressing their foreheads together for a brief time, then moving to pick up a clean rag from the chair next to the tub. Jaskier let out a sigh as he turned and relaxed against the side of the tub, finally letting the warm water soothe his aches and pains.

Dipping the rag into the water, he lathered on some soap and started to gently clean Jaskier’s chest, anger simmering at every glimpse of the bruises that painted his skin. 

“They’re just battle scars, dearheart” Jaskier smiled sleepily, watching Geralt through lidded eyes.

He just grunted, working to methodically purge every inch of his body of their touch. He’s so focused on his movements that he doesn't notice Jaskier drifting off to sleep until the soft snores register to his hearing. A soft smile settles on his lips at the blissful expression on his bard’s face. 

“Jask” he murmurs, stroking his cheek gently, “Jask you need to wake up so I can do your hair”

The bard startled out of sleep, eyes wide, “wha-?”

As he caught sight of Geralt, he calmed, settling back against the tub with a tired smile, “ah, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you, my love”

Geralt could feel a flush creep up his neck at the endearment, flashing a small smile at the bard, “You needed it... you looked peaceful”

Jaskier huffed a small laugh, hand reaching to cup the one the Witcher had still cupping his face, “Are you trying to charm me, dear?”

Scoffing, Geralt pulled away, reaching for the small cup he had placed at his side, “Sit up so I can wash your hair”

“Youre avoiding the question” Jaskier sing-songed, a cheeky grin on his face as he moved to a upwards position.

The Witcher shushed him, dunking the cup and gently pouring the water over his head, taking care not to get it in his eyes. All the while, Jaskier watched him with an awed reverence that flustered the Witcher. He was almost glad when Jaskier’s eyes fluttered shut as Geralt massaged the soap into his hair, freeing him from the admiration.

“We’ll be okay” Jaskier breathed, a small nod of his head accompanying the statement. Realising the bard was talking to himself, Geralt stayed quiet, his chest lightening at the first sign of emotional healing.

They were going to be okay.

________________________________________________________________

@kittynannygaming​  @fillingless-piee​  @nanazlovese​  @anotherunoriginal​  @baron-von-wilderpants  @whumpeeee​​  @rainwaterapothecary​​ @mazydog  @vandersummer​ @puer-de-infinitate​

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Geralt is a cat. I will not add on.

Lambert used to be a bigger of a shit than he is now (idk much about him but that man has been feral since birth and u can't change my mind ).

Jaskier has killed a man before. He refuses to explain.

Ciri, when they'll meet up, is the one who has the most hold on their collective Braincell, however, she can be as Chaotic as any of them if she wants, even worse.

Yennefer adores dogs, and no matter they age they're always puppies to her

Geralt is a cat and i will die on the ‘purring witchers’ hill. idgaf what DNA is used. all witchers purr

Lambert defs gives me the ‘im angry bc trauma’ vibes and I agree, as he aged and has learned to deal with his lot in life a little better I think he’s chilled out. But also I think he may have just redirected it towards his brothers and starts some gnarly prank wars. 

JASKIER HAS KILLED A MAN BEFORE. HE REFUSES TO EXPLAIN. amen this worries Geralt to no end. He starts losing sleep over it, constantly side-eyes the bard before Jask gives in and tells him. Only like a decade later does Geralt realize it was a lie when they run into the person Jask said he killed. He still refuses to tell. 

oh yes. she’s the only one who had a stable family environment? like ever? she has the braincell but no experience to put the braincell to good use. 

amen amen. doggos are always puppers. end of story. Yen also jokingly says Geralt is her puppy once and that does not go well.

[ao3feed-geralt-jaskier]

by sofancydancy (Lthien)

Geralt had a problem. Scratch that. Geralt had a huge fucking problem. It started roughly around six in the morning…every morning.

Who played the piano at six in the morning?!

Words: 2114, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen, M/M, Multi

Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion, Lambert (The Witcher), Eskel (The Witcher), Vesemir (The Witcher), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Triss Merigold

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, other relationships to be added

Additional Tags: rockstar geralt, Popstar Jaskier, geralt and yen are the leaders of a slavic metal band, the witchers are part of the band, Enemies to Lovers, geralt hates his neighbor, jaskier hates his neighbor, Misunderstandings, geralt hates pop music, but thinks jaskiers rather neat, ciri is a fan of jaskier, ciri likes pop music, Idiots in Love, save yen from geralts mess, yen and triss both have two adorable idiots with no braincells, tattooed geralt, tatooed witchers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, roach is a great dane bc it's pretty much a horse right, geralt adopted ciri after her parents died, geralt is ciri's uncle, Yen and Geralt are best friends, eskel as usual has the brain cells in geralt's family, oh my god they were neighbors, Lots of Cursing

[sb-essebi]

My favourite things about Witcher 3 (but it’s mostly Geralt/Yen, I swear I’m a serious gamer who looks at gamplay and storytelling too)

Yennefer

Geralt and Yen are two very smart people, but when they’re together they suddenly have to share one (1) braincell, especially if they’re worried about Ciri

Geralt and Yen saw Ciri and they both went “okay she’s my daughter now and I’m going to aggressively love her with my whole heart and she’s going to be the single most important thing in my life and I’ll do anything for her” and honestly? Parenting goals.

you have so many dialogue choices where Geralt aggressively reiterates that Ciri is his daughter and nothing is more important and I love that. Like, you never see fathers in fiction loving their daughters so fiercely and actually being good fathers? (depending on dialogue choices, okay, but they’re the only valid choices fight me)

V E S E M I R

Lambert imitating Vesemir

Excluding Temeria’s fate (the best option is Roche signing the peace with Nilfgaard and losing thus “real” indipendence), you are able to get an unapologetically happy ending. None of that bittersweet bullshit.

Yennefer of Vengerberg

Regis!!!!!!! Soft vampire boy with a questionable punk past!! My heart! I wanted Deatlaff to live just so Regis wouldn’t be sad.

Geralt and Yen have one of the most romantic love stories -and individual scenes- basically ever, I just can’t get over it, and it’s so superior to most of the stuff you see in videogames. I fell in love with her when she kissed Geralt in Vizima and it’s all downhill since, every scene they are together it’s more perfect. Their relationship is realistic, too, since they have a lot of issues to work through but you do get the option to talk about them and resolve them

“You smell wonderful.” “Geralt, we’re at a funeral.” “Then you smell wonderful and this funeral.” this man you guys! he’s so stupid and so in love I love him!!!

Yen shouting “Ciri!!!” the first time she sees her again is the purest shit on the planet and I could listen to it on repeat forever. She loves her daughter so much guys I’m dying, my heart can take it okay omg

when Geralt and Yen meet up in Novigrad after he and Ciri killed Eredin’s general, and he tells her it was Ciri’s idea because Ciri told him to always tell Yen the truth, but he’s worried Yen will be mad because he put Ciri in danger... and Yen praises him for being a good parent and protecting and supporting Ciri because she knows that he would never have convinced Ciri not to go and Ciri would have gone without Geralt if he’d told her no, and she knows that that’s why Geralt went. Like... parents understanding their kids deeply? dreams, amirite?

Yen

I love Cerys so much, if I’d played this game a few years ago I would definitely have had a crush on her (I think she’s like 17/18, considering she’s younger than Hjalmar and he’s around 20 like Ciri), I adored the Hymn mission and kept thinking I really wish she and Ciri had a few scenes together, I kinda lowkey ship it a lot?

Eskel looks like any old distinguished bi, but then you find out he’s secretly absolutely fucking feral and I love characters like that

I love Hattori, he’s so stupid and makes you go through so much for him I don’t even know why I like him, we love a dumbass I guess

Geralt gets this stupid little smile when he’s looking at Yen, and he’s so stupidly in love with her it’s riddiculous but so relatable, me too Geralt, me too

Yen is very smart but literally a dumbass when it comes to Geralt. Like, this woman, this powerful as fuck sorceress really went 20 years convinced that Geralt couldn’t possibly be in love with her, surely it was just the Djinn’s wish and of course she couldn’t possibly be head over heels for him either, better go 20 years without ever saying I love you and thinking that him following her around like a lovesick idiot and saying shit like “you smell wonderful at this funeral” and falling over himself for her approval and to impress her is totally just a spell, nothing to see here, because she really thought sure, everyone loves Yennefer of Vengerberg but no one could possibly fall in love with Just Yen, with all her flaws and insecurities and shit, right? Yeah, I live for that dynamic. The way her voice breaks when she tells Geralt that nothing’s changed and she still loves him? Damn. Poetic gaming.

Have I mentioned Yennefer??

[dredshirtroberts]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Eskel (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Aiden (The Witcher), Triss Merigold, Jaskier | Dandelion, Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Timeline What Timeline, Crack Treated Seriously, seriously just...try not to think too hard about how old everyone is or is not, Age Regression/De-Aging, found family shenanigans, Mentions of past child abuse Summary:

(tags and warnings subject to change)

Celebrating Midsummer in Ard Carraigh was supposed to be fun and relaxing and a chance for all of Geralt's found family to unwind a little. No one expected that *time* would unwind a little as well.

Underqualified adults taking care of overqualified children and trying to undo the worst blurse the continent has ever seen. Will they make it to Kaer Morhen? Will they fix the curse? Does Ciri hold the entire family's collective three braincells? I don't know either! Let's find out!

----------

Here’s that De-Aging fic I told y’all I was working on. Chapter 1 is up and ready to be viewed by the public. I have no idea what I’m doing! :D

[ao3feed-geralt-jaskier]

by SyrupKhan

Jaskier is a fresh face in the court, confident on the outside but scared and alone on the inside. Geralt is the best knight, and the one who's caught Jaskier's eye. Ciri is Geralt's protege, but she hates all of this court and it's nonsense. Yennefer is ready to move up in society, but she knows she'll have to fight tooth and claw for her promotion.

I wanted to make a Camelot!AU because it's never been done before, so long as I can tell, at least in the Witcher fandom. No one is straight, and Ciri has the one braincell in this group of pining idiots.

Words: 1020, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, knights of the round - Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, M/M

Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Calanthe Fiona Riannon, Tissaia de Vries, Other Character Tags to Be Added

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon/Mistle (eventually), Triss Merigold/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: jaskier is a twink and it shows, calanthe is done, Gay, mlm, geralt wants none of this, ciri is the only one with a brain, some of this may be odd lore wise but don't think about it and enjoy the gay, Pining, Mutual Pining, Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added