#ZEKE WILL RETURN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kentopedia · 6 months

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ LET YOUR HEART BE LIGHT — LEVI ACKERMAN

summary . . . your childhood best friend, eren, invites you to his christmas eve party, but your ex is going to be there. in order to get back at him, levi tags along as your fake boyfriend

contents . . . sfw, fake dating, f!reader, age gap (levi early 30s, reader early 20s), past unhealthy relationships, pining, fluff, humor, miscommunication, light angst, insecure and shy reader, zeke jaeger :/, not so friends to lovers, bff hange, she/they prns for hange — 12.3k

notes . . . my bday gift for my beloved that i have been speeding through the past couple of days, so pls ignore any errors. i adore him so dearly and he means so much to me. it's a little bit cheesy, and may be a little be rushed for christmas, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless. merry christmas everyone i love u all so so much <33

“Are you even listening to me, Hange?” you asked, sighing as you leaned your head back on the sofa, taking a long sip of your wine. The alcohol washed over you, soothed the tension that was wrought within your body as the warmth began buzzing through you.

Hange poked their head up from the simmering pot, a cloud of steam wafting up under the lid. With the combination of vegetables and spices, you were pretty sure that she was making stew for dinner — and far too much for just two of you, by the looks of it.

“Sorry,” Hange said, sheepish, glasses falling down her nose. “I’m almost done, I promise.”

You frowned, but waved your hand, letting them return to the kitchen. Hange hummed a tune, their delightful mood such a contrast to the horrific news you’d received earlier in the day.

Briefly, your mind wandered off into the misery you’d let yourself wallow in, but Hange came around the corner quickly, stilling your anger. There were two bowls in their hands, and they gave one to you, letting it warm your own palms, the smell deliciously comforting.

“So what’s this about your ex?” Hange asked, interested, their voice expressive, attentive, as usual. “You got invited to his party?”

The scalding spoonful of soup slid down your throat, as you prepared yourself to start the conversation from the beginning. Hange was a horrible multitasker, though she denied it, and your entire half-hour of rambling had gone in one ear, and out the other.

Though, just as you were about to speak, you were interrupted once more by a knocking at the front door. You glanced over to the source of the noise, then back to your roommate, eyebrows raised. “Are you expecting company?”

Hange laughed a little; it was such a carefree sound, and one that always seemed to be spilling from their lips. “Oh, it’s just Levi. I told him I was making a lot of stew, so he could come over for dinner.”

Of course — Who else would be banging at your door at this hour?

You sighed, the sound leaving you in something akin to a small whisper, your expression falling in disappointment.

Levi Ackerman lived on the floor below you, in an apartment you’d never been to, living a life you knew almost nothing about. It had been two years since you’d met, when he helped Hange move into your shared apartment, and yet, he was still an enigma after all that time.

What you did know was that Levi was a few years older than Hange, many more years older than you, and he always seemed to be around. He was quiet, for the most part, but he had a sarcastic sense of humor that only a few people seemed to understand. Him and Hange were comfortable joking with each other; your roommate never got offended by his comments, ones that would’ve been scandalizing to some others.

For a while, their comfort with one another had led you to believe they were dating. You’d asked Hange about it one day at dinner, a fleeting comment, as you stuck a fork into your dish.

“So how long have you and Levi been together?” you’d said.

Hange had shot water out of their nose, fell back in their chair, cackling so hard that tears sprang to their eyes. You’d only stared back like an idiot, poked at your food, until Hange sobered, and apologized for embarrassing you.

“Oh, it’s not like that,” Hange explained, sipping on their soda, still smiling like you’d told the funniest joke imaginable. “Levi and I are just close friends. My partner lives a few hours away, going back to school. He’ll be moving back home in a year.”

You’d supposed it made sense, looking back. Their embraces were often stiff on Levi’s end, his affection coming on minimally. Hange was a much more touchy person, so perhaps, that’s where you’d crafted the image of them in a relationship.

Which was a silly one, now that you could see your error in hindsight.

“And Levi?” you’d asked shortly after, curious about the man you’d known—and still knew—so little about.

“Oh, Levi’s not with anyone,” Hange had hummed, rolling their eyes like this was a point of contention. “He doesn’t really date.”

“Why?”

“He doesn’t like to.”

“Oh.”

That’d been that, of course.

You hadn’t asked any other questions, but in the months that followed, your mind had whirled, piecing together an image of Levi Ackerman that made the most sense to you.

He was handsome; startlingly so. Beautiful to the point that you averted your gaze when he glanced at you, your cheeks heating, palms sweaty. A thirty-something, intelligent, quiet man with his act together. He drew women to him easily, took them back home. . . perhaps a different one every night. Maybe he kept them around for a bit, until he got bored of them.

He’d never romance them, and they’d never expect that from him. If he called them back, which he did rarely, it was never because he liked them. It was because he wanted something from them, nothing more.

At least, that’s what you thought Levi Ackerman was like, in the times he was outside of the four walls of your apartment. Perhaps your stiffness towards him continued to stem from that caricature you’d created.

You sighed, bringing yourself back to the present as Hange let Levi in through the door, his shoes loud against the hardwood.

Really, it was hard not to form biased opinions when Levi offered up so little about himself.

When you did talk with him, which was frequently, the conversations always centered around you. He had asked you many times about school when you’d been finishing up your degree; Levi asked you about your job when you’d first started.

Of course, he never offered anything up about his job, which you knew must have been quite nice, nor about his family, which you figured must have been quite complicated.

And, as always, you were forced to wipe your hands on your pants, the sweat turning your palms clammy, as you scolded yourself for the fact that Levi Ackerman still made you nervous.

Levi’s eyes flitted across the room as he walked in, the navy blue irises cool when they met your own. He didn’t smile, but he made some sort of acknowledgement of your existence, before Hange had dragged him into the kitchen and filled up a bowl of soup for him.

Moments later, he was on one of the chairs before you, the bottle of wine in the middle of your odd little circle. Unconsciously, you had sucked in a breath, looking away, as Levi prodded at his bowl like he was afraid of the contents.

“Well, it’s not going to jump out and eat you,” Hange rolled her eyes, snickering, at Levi’s bored expression. “Just try it, Levi.”

“It smells different. What the hell did you do to it?” Levi let the spoonful fall back into the bowl, the broth dripping off the edge of the silverware. “I’m not participating in any kinds of experiments, Hange, if that’s what this is.”

“Oh, be grateful.” Hange huffed, crossing their arms over their chest. “I followed a recipe. If you don’t want it, I’ll take it down the hall to Erwin.”

When Levi said nothing for another moment, Hange made a move to steal the bowl out of his hands.

Quickly, he guided it away.

“No, no. I’ll eat it. Your cooking may be horrendous, but it certainly saves me time.”

Hange smiled, satisfied, reading between Levi’s cool remark, sensing a thank you in there somewhere.

It had been hard, at first, to talk to Levi, and understanding him was a skill that you’d found you could only develop with time. He had a dry sense of humor, said very little with a smile, and could certainly be mean when he wanted to be. His words were often blunt, and even when he was joking, it was hard to tell.

Once, when you’d first met, Levi had hurt your feelings. You’d tried not to let it show, but Hange had known, as always, and had squeezed your shoulder, reassuring.

“Levi’s just like that sometimes, but he’s a good person. Just give him a chance. I think you’ll find you’re a lot more similar than you think.”

Similar was a bit far-fetched, but you supposed you’d grown to appreciate Levi’s sense of humor. Perhaps you even found him funny at times, laughed at his jokes. He was kind when he wanted to be, even if his communication was a one-way street. There was a distance between you, but a part of you wanted to keep it that way.

Levi ate a spoonful of the soup, swirling it around in his mouth before swallowing. His gaze trailed to the ceiling, thoughtful, before muttering some sort of praise. “Surprisingly better than the last stew you made, Hange,” he said, and Hange was pleased, a smile widening across her face. “I assume your roommate had nothing to do with it, did she?”

You made a face at him, not sure if he was insulting you, or trying to suggest that you could’ve improved Hange’s cooking. Either way, you returned his dry tone, swirling your spoon around in the bowl. “Well, if I did, it certainly wasn’t to please your fussy tastes.”

Levi almost cracked a smile at that, but snorted instead, leaning back in the cushion of his chair.

For some reason, Levi’s movement seemed to trigger Hange’s memory, and they flung their spoon out of the bowl, splashing soup on the coffee table, as they pointed it at you.

“Wait, finish your story!” Hange cut off Levi’s sentence, and he frowned, but said nothing, getting comfortable on the couch.

Today, he was wearing a gray cable-knit sweater, and a beautiful silver watch that likely cost an entire months worth of your salary. His hair had been mussed a bit from the cold, cheeks tinged red.

Levi must have come from outside, you’d realized, not just downstairs. Another mystery that you would never uncover — how Levi spent his weekends, besides the time he spent in your apartment.

Distracted, you looked back down at your hands, hating the way that Levi pinned you with his gaze. He was far too attentive, his eyes too intense; even if you had been as confident as you liked to believe, as self-assured, you’d never been able to hold eye-contact with the dark-haired man for very long.

“Oh, that,” you said, huffing, recalling the news that had been delivered to you earlier that evening. Not so bad, really; you were making a big deal out of something so small. But the casual remark, via a text message from your high school best-friend, had been enough to sour your mood for the rest of the afternoon. “Well, Eren is having a party on Christmas Eve. All of our high school friends will be back home for the holidays, so I’ll actually get to see them for once.”

Hange smiled, their eyes lighting up, but the confusion in her expression shone through knitted eyebrows. “Well, that’s great!” they said, as Levi sat quietly, slurping on his soup like he’d been raised in some penthouse apartment, a view shining over the city. You could imagine him with a nanny that had been specifically hired to teach him manners. A playful version of Levi as a child was near impossible to envision — you saw him only sitting calmly, politely, hands crossed over his lap. “Why do you seem so upset?”

You looked away, chewing the inside of your mouth, your stomach turning. It was the last thing you wanted to think about, the way your two desires were at odds. How desperately you wanted to see all your old friends, the ones that were spread all over. None of you had been all together since you were in high school.

Yet, the other part of you considered calling Eren and canceling on him, telling him you wanted to spend it with your family instead, that you’d just have to catch up with them next time.

Who knew when that would be.

“Zeke’s coming,” you sighed, rubbing your arm. “It’s only been a year. I don’t want to see him again.”

Hange’s eyes widened. Slowly, she leaned back, nodding, as understanding flicked through her face. “I see.”

“Exactly,” you swallowed the last bit of soup, letting the warmth comfort you, wash over you in waves. Perhaps, it would cleanse some of the anxiety that sat riddled in your chest. “Now you see…”

“Well, sure I mean—”

“Who the hell is Zeke?” Levi interrupted, drawing your attention back to him, his back straight, despite being relaxed in the chair. Everything about him was so put together. Even the socks he wore even seemed expensive, his shoes by the door freshly shined. “An ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-boyfriend seems too kind of a word for Zeke Jaeger,” you spat, letting his name drip from your mouth with every ounce of hatred you could muster. “He’s a plague upon my life. I’d do anything not to see him again.”

Levi set the bowl down, curiosity piqued. “I don’t see why your friend invited him if he’s so horrible.”

“Zeke is Eren’s brother,” Hange offered.

“Half-brother,” you corrected, tucking your knees into your chest to rest your chin against them. “Don’t give him that much credit. Eren’s an idiot, but even he doesn’t deserve to be related to someone as awful as Zeke.”

Hange laughed, though you didn’t find it to be as hilarious as they did. Your scowl deepened.

“Anyway, Eren’s throwing it at his parent’s house since they’ll be out for the night — Zeke invited himself. With his new girlfriend, I’m sure.” Your rolled your eyes, tucking your cheek against the couch cushion. “She’ll be better than me, of course. Probably prettier.”

Levi studied you for a moment, reading the hurt that you tried to veil on your face. Usually, you weren’t so open with him. You didn’t like being vulnerable, and especially not with Levi, who seemed to view any emotion as a weakness. “I see the issue.”

You huffed, a sound of agreement, and played with the loose thread on the sofa. “Yeah, well, it was stupid of me to date my best friend’s brother anyway. When has that ever worked out?”

Hange reached across the coffee table to squeeze your hand, sympathetic. “Hey. Don’t do that. What’s done is done. Besides, what are the odds he’ll actually show up?”

“Uh, pretty fucking high if he’s staying with his dad for Christmas,” you scowled, rubbing your eye, makeup smeared on the side of it when you drew away.

Hange’s lips pulled together, flattening into a thin line. “Well…” Dark brown eyes flitted between you and Levi, who was looking at your roommate with something less than amusement. “You could always take Levi as your date.”

“You can’t be serious,” Levi said, his tone flat, lips drawing into a thin line.

“What? That’s… No,” you laughed awkwardly, growing hot, nervous. Suddenly, you were worried that your panicked stutter made it seem like this had been your plan all along. To get Levi to come as your date — which was ridiculous, really, but perhaps not so farfetched with the way he regarded you. “I can’t do that.”

“Why? It’d be a big old fuck you to Zeke Jaeger. Levi is far better looking than him.” Hange gestured to Levi, as if you weren’t already painfully aware of how beautiful their best friend was. “He’s better in almost every way, actually. Not that the bar is very high.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Levi asked, poking Hange on the side of the head. “Almost every way?”

“Zeke’s pretty tall.”

Levi rolled his eyes, dismissive. “Like that matters.”

“It does!”

You stopped them before they could bicker any further. Hange seemed to make it their mission to always rile Levi up — not that it was very difficult, but it always brought an amused smile to her lips.

“Hange’s right, though. The bar is not so high.” You shrugged, curling in on yourself again — just another reminder of how much of a mistake you’d made. How desperate you must have been to have fallen for Zeke Jaeger. Even Eren had warned you about him. “It’s a stupid idea, though. No one would believe it. Least of all, Zeke.”

“Why not?” Levi said. “You think I’d be a bad boyfriend. Think I can’t play that role well?”

“That’s not—” you began, but let the words fall away, sniffing back the self-deprecating sentiment. It wasn’t that you needed him to seem like a good boyfriend. Levi was unapproachable, cold, reserved, regardless of who he was with… Even his best friend. It would take very little from him to sell the performance. A small smile, a hand around your waist. Perhaps a kiss on the forehead for good measure.

It wasn’t that, really.

It was more that Zeke would know, immediately. Would see you together, and laugh to himself, because someone like Levi would never want someone like you. A statement as painfully clear as the color of the sky.

You didn’t want to admit that to either of them, though. So, instead, you narrowed your eyes, challenging Levi, perhaps, even, daring him to retract his statement. “Well… can you?”

“Which are you asking?” Levi drummed his fingers against his thigh, pale and slender, his nails clean, neatly trimmed. Distracting, almost. “If I can put on a performance, or if I can be a good partner?”

You shrugged.

Levi’s eyes narrowed further, thoughtful.

“I’ll go with you,” he finally said, after a near minute of silence, in which you weren’t sure what to say. Hange watched beside you, painfully entertained. “I’d like to see how truly awful this boyfriend of yours is.”

“Don’t say boyfriend,” you made a face, “and he’s pretty damn awful.”

The next few days, you’d mapped out something of a plan with Levi — though, there was little between you that you needed to figure out. It wasn’t as if you were strangers. Levi had known vaguely that you’d had a boyfriend up until last Christmas, had known that you were still close with your group of friends from high school.

He knew quite a bit about you, something you only just now realized. Levi often said little, but he was observant, picked things up easily. He seemed to know you better than you thought, and it wouldn’t be difficult to convince everyone of your closeness.

With that knowledge, you calmed, realizing that, maybe, it wouldn’t be so difficult to spin your relationship into a romantic one.

The story followed: Levi had been there for you after Zeke had broken up with you. You’d been friends for a while. He had asked you on a date shortly after. Simple — no outlandish lie.

Still, a part of you contemplated telling Zeke you’d been fucking Levi while you were still together. He probably wouldn’t believe it anyway, but you wanted to see even a hint of frustration on his usually dull expression.

On your way back to your hometown, Levi insisted on driving his car, one that was a few years old, but still had that new smell, every single inch of it outrageously clean, each crack in the cushions vacuumed. There was hardly anything in the vehicle; a pair of sunglasses in the center console, some spare cash next to it.

He’d picked you up with two coffees, which now rested, empty, in the cupholders.

The two of you spent the ride mostly in silence, listening to a Christmas playlist that Levi had awkwardly switched to, as if he’d been embarrassed of whatever he’d been playing before. One hand held the wheel, the other resting against the console, tapping on the leather between you.

You stared, the movement of his fingers distracting. For the second time, you were staring at his slender hands, the veins dark under his skin. How nice they were, like something out of a painting.

God, when did you start noticing that?

“Thank you for the coffee,” you said, realizing your manners all too late, embarrassed you hadn’t said it earlier. “How did you know what I liked?”

Levi glanced over, slowing down as the light turned red. For a moment, he hesitated; contemplated. Pink tongue flicked over his bottom lip as the car idled. “Hange told me.”

“Oh.”

Levi shrugged. “Well, you’re welcome anyway.”

The light turned green. Silence settled between you once again.

You twitched uncomfortably, wondering how much you should say — or shouldn’t say. There weren’t many times you had been together, just the two of you, without Hange somewhere near.

Levi didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, but then again, he could’ve just been focused on driving. He was gracious enough to take on that responsibility, and you didn’t want to be distracting, even if the near silence was driving you mad. On the other hand, there wasn’t much you wanted to say. Every time you thought of something, a conversation to strike up, it died just as quickly on your lips.

Eventually, Levi seemed to grow tired of the awkwardness between you, how stiff you appeared to be. His eyes darted towards you once again, studying you from the corner of his eye. “If you want people to believe that we’re dating, you’re going to have to stop acting like that.”

You blinked at him, shifting in your seat. “Like what?”

“Like…” Levi shrugged. “Like I’m holding you at gunpoint.”

A laugh bubbled out of you. “What does that mean?”

He gave you a blank expression, certainly calling you an idiot with nothing more than a gaze. “It means you make it blatantly obvious you don’t want to be around me. I know you dislike me, but maybe…” Levi shook his head, dark hair falling into his eyes. “At least try to pretend otherwise.”

Your stomach twisted up as Levi worked his jaw, frustrated, undeniably. For some unknown reason, it made you feel ashamed, even more shy around him than you’d been before. Levi was probably used to women who knew what they wanted. Who could meet his eyes without feeling a sense of shyness creep up their spine. Who could do a lot of things that you couldn’t, and could match his wit and sarcasm without feeling the rush of dread that you’d offended him.

“I don’t dislike you, Levi,” you said, huffing. “I just — don’t think we get along well.”

“That’s news to me,” he said, tapping the gearshift. The music turned down two notches from where he punched the button on the wheel. “Hange says we’re quite compatible.”

“What?” you laughed loudly, ignoring the race of your heart, the furl of anxiety in your chest. “Don’t listen to anything they say — Hange wants to set me up with everyone. You’re hardly the best option.”

Levi, for once, quirked his lips in something near a smile. “Funny. I thought the same thing.”

You scoffed, warm again, crossing your arms over your chest. It was infuriating, really, how you felt around him. Surely you weren’t the only one — Levi radiated confidence and authority, entirely. You’d never seen him interact with many others, but surely they averted their gazes, cheeks warm, stumbling over words. Surely, you couldn’t be the only one who seemed to feel so small under the breadth of his presence.

Another song played before he spoke again, tapping his fingers against the wheel. Familiarity sprung up around you as the landscape began to change, the scenery transforming into one you’d grown up in.

“Why did you date Zeke, anyway?” Levi asked, this time, not bothering to look at you. He stared straight ahead, passing a slower car, the blinker tapping wildly against the dashboard.

You shrugged, scratching your wrist as you looked out the window. How you loathed this topic of conversation. It didn’t matter why you’d dated that man — only that you had, and you regretted it.

You found yourself telling Levi anyway. “He was funny,” you said, quietly, watching the clouds pass above in the sky, dark and gloomy. “He was charming. He liked to read and so did I.”

Levi hummed, but it was dismissive, an acknowledgement of pity and nothing more. Deep down, he was probably laughing, amused at your idiocy. “That’s it?”

“I know it’s stupid… I was stupid,” you said, defensive, curling your hands into fists. “He was my first boyfriend, and I was naive. I wanted to be loved, and Zeke told me he loved me.” You felt the wash of angry tears come back upon you, and you flushed them away, sniffing. “I just didn’t know he’d told two other women the same thing at the same time.”

Levi’s eyes flashed, surprised, as they darted back towards you. “Jesus,” he muttered, fist turning white as it clutched the wheel. “You were right. What a fucking asshole.”

You smiled a bit, shaking your head. For all accounts, Levi could be an asshole in his own way; a comment you decided to keep to yourself.

“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. I don’t give a shit about Zeke Jaeger. He can rot in hell for all I care.” You wiped your face, yawning as the sun began it’s descent in the sky. “I’ve given up on finding love anyway. I just don’t want Zeke to have the satisfaction of knowing it was his fault.” A sigh left you. “Besides, that was probably the point. Our relationship was likely just a way to test some philosophy he’d come up with — nothing matters, least of all love.” You rolled your eyes. “He’s like that.”

Levi didn’t say anything, but you could see him thinking, his eyebrows tied closely together. “But, you know that’s not true, don’t you?” he said, his tone flat, as usual. “You can’t possibly think that you don’t deserve to be loved.”

You smiled. “Of course,” you said, nodding. “I’m just better off without it.”

Levi took a breath, looked over once more, and then let the conversation die.

You hoped it sounded much more convincing to Levi’s ears than your own.

While you were visiting, over the next couple of days, you were staying at Pieck’s apartment. She was two years older, but had been in some of your university courses, and you’d met back in college. You’d found out you were from the same city, and had bonded instantly, having lived such a similar life, in the same place, without even realizing it.

The three of you had grabbed a quick dinner, and when you got back late, Pieck gave you a little tour of her small apartment, showing Levi more than anything, since you’d visited her twice before.

“Here’s the other bedroom,” Pieck said, flipping the switch on. It was a room filled with soft pink decor, the comforter lacy and white. “My roommate is visiting family, so you’re welcome to sleep in here; she doesn’t mind. I’ve cleaned the sheets and everything.”

Levi thanked her, and Pieck smiled sleepily, walking back to her own bedroom with a wave.

You watched as Levi set his bag down, tugged off his thick jacket. He hung it, gently, on the back of the desk chair, unhooking his watch to set it down beside the coat. His wrist looked so bare that way. Nothing to cover it up, exposing the even softer skin where the accessory usually rested.

You looked away. “Is everything okay?” you asked, by way of making your exit, eyes flicking around the room.

Levi glanced up, unfolding a pair of clean clothes from his bag, almost like he’d forgotten you were standing there. “Should something be wrong?” he asked in return, placing a pair of flannel pajama pants next to the gray t-shirt.

For some reason, the image caused your heart to swell, the sight of something so normal within Levi’s grasp. The organ that continuously betrayed you sped up, beating harder.

It was endearing, really, to see such a mundane side of Levi. He always lived in that enigmatic shroud, some sort of ever-present being that you couldn’t quite understand.

You smiled softly. “No. Just wanted to make sure. Goodnight, Levi.”

He said something back, but you were already halfway down the hall, slinging your own bag to Pieck’s room. She was on her side, scrolling through her phone, dark hair splayed across the pillow like a halo. Though, the moment you entered, her attention doubled, eyes crinkling as she grinned.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you said, frowning, as you followed the same routine as Levi, slinging your bag down to pick out a fresh pair of pajamas.

“You didn’t tell me he looked like that,” Pieck muttered, the sound of her voice always tired, no matter how much sleep she got. “Zeke is going to hate him.”

That, at least, had a sense of relief pooling inside you, a laugh spilling out. “I sure hope so.”

She set her phone on the nightstand, laying flat on her back as you continued through your routine. Her introduction to Levi had been brief, but already, she seemed to like him well enough.

Maybe they’d end up together, you thought dimly. Pieck had been single for a while, and you’d always thought she was much more charming than you, much prettier. Perhaps Levi would like her.

The idea put a sour taste in your mouth.

When you returned, face scrubbed, teeth clean, Pieck was nearly asleep, the lamp on her side of the bed the only source of light in the room. She glanced up at you sleepily, batting her eyes before you climbed next to her.

“I can’t believe you,” she said softly, already half-asleep. “How can you stand it?”

“What did I do?”

For a moment, Pieck stared at you like she didn’t know who you were. A yawn left you, even as you tried to hide it.

“Is there something wrong with him? Is that the reason?”

You crinkled your eyebrows together. “Levi?” A million different things ran through your head, but Pieck seemed to want an honest one. “I mean…” Was there, really? Were your speculations and assumptions enough to pass judgement on Levi Ackerman? Or were you just too intimidated by him to admit that he was much nicer than you thought. “Well, you met him, didn’t you?”

She blinked, then laughed, slapping you with the pillow. “You’re so ridiculous. Why aren’t you together then? I mean, actually together?” Pieck hummed, tapping her hand against the pillow, before she tucked it back under her head. “You’ve got hearts in your eyes when you stare at him.”

“What?” you said, bursting into a fit of giggles. You’d thought it was a joke, but Pieck didn’t smile, didn’t even force a laugh alongside you. “I don’t — I’m not.”

“I mean, he clearly likes you quite a bit,” she continued, smiling, “if he came all this way. He listens to you, practically hangs off your every word.” A pause. “Wish someone would look at me like that,” Pieck sighed.

You rolled your eyes. “Levi’s just like that. He’s a good listener.” Although, when it left your lips, the last few words came out slower, more uncertainly. Was he really like that? You could think of plenty of times where he’d blatantly ignored people he didn’t like, left a conversation with a snide comment if he didn’t agree with the subject.

Pieck didn’t seem to believe you, a smile tugging on her lips. “Right. A good listener like you, huh? Listening until you don’t care anymore.” She didn’t give you a chance to respond, your indignant protests enough. “It’s funny. You get so flustered you get when he teases you. I just,” she hesitated, tucking a hand under her cheek. “Well, I just didn’t expect that from you — you weren’t like that with Zeke.”

Again, your cheeks grew hot, your entire body warm. Already, you wanted to kick the covers off, sweat pooling at the backs of your knees. “I’m — No. It’s not. . . Pieck, it’s not.” You buried your face in the pillow, frustrated, hating the grin that curled onto her lips. “Look, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not like that. He’s just — ” You shook your head, words evading you. “I mean, you’ve seen him.”

Pieck laughed, the sound soft, raspy from exhaustion. “I’m only teasing you,” she whispered, her smile almost wistful. “I know what you mean. He’s older, he’s handsome. He probably knows what he wants.” Then her face grew serious, eyebrows drawing together. “But, I also think you’re not letting yourself admit that you’re attracted to him.”

“Pieck,” you huffed, feeling that itch at the back of your skull, under your skin, that you couldn’t quite scratch. “I’m not. Half of the time, I’m not even sure if I enjoy his company.”

She stared at you for a moment longer, unamused, before rolling back onto her side, facing away from you. “Whatever,” she mumbled, a dismissal, like she truly thought every word that left your lips was a denial. “I think you’re just scared after what happened with Zeke. I think you know Levi is exactly what you’ve always wanted, and you don’t think he could possibly like you.”

You started to protest, maneuvering onto your elbows, but Pieck hushed you, flicked the lamp out.

“Night,” she said, signifying the end of the conversation. “Just… think on it.”

An indignant groan escaped you, as Pieck shut her eyes, her breathing evening out not a moment later. You’d always been jealous of how easily she could fall asleep, while you continued to lie awake in bed, left with nothing but your own thoughts.

Which were certainly not, and would never be, plagued by Levi Ackerman.

Unsurprisingly, Levi had been the first one awake, sitting in the kitchen as he scrolled through his phone, a pair of wired-rimmed reading glasses perched at the edge of his nose. He was already dressed, looking unsurprisingly perfect, while your hair was disheveled, pajamas still on, eyes sleepy.

You’d stared at him awkwardly, embarrassed by your appearance, and ignored his brief greeting before you slinked back into Pieck’s room, putting yourself together rapidly. You refused to speak to him until you were ready to leave.

Pieck was spending the rest of the weekend with her father, so you and Levi were left to your own devices for the day. You decided to take him around the town, showing him all the places you used to frequent. It was nostalgic, showcasing your city to a man who’d never been here, wouldn’t know the depth of your memories, those that were tied to a smell, a scene, a sound.

Levi was, to your surprise, quite interested in the places that you’d been around as a child. As usual, he asked many questions, digging into your past without offering anything in return. And, as usual, you let him, all too excited to reminisce about the grade school where you’d met Eren Jaeger, the restaurant you’d always gone to with Sasha.

It warmed you, how caring he could be — something you’d always known, but perhaps, hadn’t really paid attention to until Pieck pointed it out. Levi did seem to take everything you said to heart, store it in some memory bank with your name labeled right on it. He remembered things you hadn’t even known you’d told him, but must have, at some point.

When it neared noon, you took him to a coffee shop that you used to study at, right around the corner from your old school. It was still the same as it had been back then, like nothing had changed at all.

“It’s nice that you have such fond memories,” he said, and there was a small smile on his lips as the two of you entered the cafe, the smell overtaking you almost immediately.

You laughed, shrugging. “It’s better in hindsight.” There’d been times when all you wanted to do was leave. Now, you couldn’t help but miss it.

Levi ordered your coffees, and though you’d protested, trying to push your card in his direction, he paid for the both of them, and waited at the end of the bar while you saved a table. Once again, he’d gotten your coffee order correct, but now that you were able to read the side of his cup, you noticed it wasn’t coffee at all, but actually tea — Earl Grey, steaming, far to hot to drink when he took the lid off.

“Are you not a coffee drinker?” you asked, and for some reason, Levi seemed surprised by the question, his eyes flashing.

“Not really,” he admitted, his hands folded around the paper cup. “Sometimes, if I don’t get much sleep the night before, but—” Levi shrugged. “It makes my hands shake, which does nothing but irritate me.”

You smiled, letting the words sink in. Levi didn’t seem like the type of person to dislike coffee, but he sipped at his tea slowly, huffing as you blinked back at him.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “It’s not a crime to dislike something, is it?”

“No,” you said, looking back down at your drink, antsy. His mouth was drawn flat, unamused as always… This time, though, you couldn’t help but admire the curve of his cupid’s bow, the plushness of his lower lip, which was such a contrast to the color of his pale cheeks. “It just surprised me, is all. You never tell me anything about yourself.”

Levi’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “Well, you’ve didn’t ask. You never do.”

You opened your mouth, then shut it, thinking through all the conversations you’ve had, all the questions you’ve answered, but never returned. “Usually a conversation is two-sided,” you supplied, leaning forward, accusatory. “I share things about myself, and the other person does so in return.”

Levi’s lips lifted up, nearly a smile. “I’m not really the type of person to spill my heart out unprovoked.” He took a long sip of the tea, glancing out the window at the snowy sidewalk. “If you really cared, you would ask. I won’t bother anyone with useless anecdotes about my life.”

You watched the movement of his hands as he set the cup down, fiddled with the lid beside it. “So that’s all?” you asked, unamused. “All this time, I’ve thought you were some great mystery, and you were just waiting for me to return your questions?”

Levi snorted, though there was a hint of humor in his gaze, flashing from the Christmas lights that were strung around the shop. “Don’t blame me — I’ve always been honest with you,” he supplied, matching your posture. “Maybe you’re just a poor conversationalist, and you’ve made assumptions about me that aren’t true.” Though his tone was clipped, there was still a sense of disappointment in his words.

You let his words sink in, opening your mouth, then shutting it, silencing your protests.

Levi sighed, spinning the conversation towards your evening, rehashing the plan for any questions that might arise. Though you nodded, engaged, your mind was still on his confession, the words gnawing at you.

It was true, you realized with disappointment. Levi had never avoided any questions you’d asked him outright, had always given you a small smile, before carefully answering. You had, really, been avoiding him — perhaps, for no reason at all.

That evening, you arrived at the party just a few minutes after six, when Eren had told you to arrive. Many of your friends were already there, the street lined with cars that you didn’t recognize.

Unsurprisingly, Eren was the one to answer the door, throwing it open and pulling you into a hug before you even had time to react. Your name left his lips in an excited exclamation, and you breathed in the familiarity of him, a deep-rooted nostalgia at the sight of someone you’d known for so long.

“It’s so good to see you,” Eren said, even though it had only been a few months since you’d last gotten together, not years, like it might have felt.

His hair was longer than when it had been when you last saw him, and he’d bulked up a bit, but otherwise, hadn’t changed. That was a comfort in itself, just like the smell of Carla and Grisha Jaeger’s house, the furniture that had been the same since you were an adolescent.

Eren guided you through the door before glancing over your shoulder, noticing Levi for the first time. His eyes widened, green eyes electric as your name left his lips, aghast.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing someone!” Eren’s posture straightened, and suddenly, he was on his best behavior, trying hard to impress the man that you’d brought with you.

Levi gave him a once-over, glanced over to you, and then stuck out his hand politely. “Levi Ackerman,” he said, shaking it. “You must be Eren—”

But Eren’s attention was already caught by another part of the conversation. He shook his Levi’s quickly, not bothering to answer the greeting, before saying, “Ackerman? Maybe a long-shot, but do you know my girlfriend, Mikasa?”

Surprise flashed in Levi’s irises as he followed Eren inside, nodding. “Actually, she’s my cousin.”

At the same time, across the room, a familiar voice shouted Levi’s name, running over to throw her arms around him. Mikasa’s body rammed against Levi’s shorter frame, and despite his strength, he let out a small puff of air, shocked, as she crashed into him.

“Levi, what are you doing here?” Mikasa said, smiling softly, before releasing him, returning to her normal, calm self. “I had no idea you knew—” A pause, as she flicked her eyes between you, puzzling the pieces together. Her palms covered her mouth, but a sharp squeak emitted from her throat, excitement. “You two are together?”

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to greet her, but Mikasa held you close, her perfume so familiar, hair soft against your cheek.

“What a crazy coincidence — I had no idea… Well, of course, it makes sense. You’re so perfect for each other. I can’t believe I didn’t think of introducing you earlier.” Mikasa rambled on, uncharacteristically, and even Eren seemed surprised as he darted his gaze between you. “How did you meet?” she said.

Levi sighed, perpetually put-out, and followed Mikasa to one of the couches.

You sat with him, but stayed silent for the most part, enjoying watching them interact, smiling at the sight of him so comfortable. Levi spun the story of how you’d “ended up together,” and you offered a few nods here and there, too distracted by the revelation of their relation.

Ackerman was a common enough name that you hadn’t even thought about it, but the more you looked at them together, the more you could see their similarities. Their quiet, but confident demeanors, intellect, and grey eyes. Even the way they spoke was a bit similar. You felt like such an idiot, and when there was a break in the conversation, you said as much.

For once, though, Levi didn’t take it as an opportunity to tease you for your foolishness. “Truthfully,” he said, squeezing your hand gently, “I should’ve realized. I knew Mikasa had moved here recently, but I hadn’t been to see her, and I hadn’t met her boyfriend.”

Only later did you remember how nice his hand felt in your own — those cool, pale fingers wrapped around your hand, as if he hadn’t even had to think about it. How you’d accepted them so easily, feeling warm, calm, his fingertips against your knuckles so natural.

Mikasa and Levi seemed happy to catch up, so for the next couple of hours, you made the rounds, visiting with your old friends and the people they were now seeing. Historia and Ymir, the only high school sweethearts left in your group, had even managed to show up, even though they lived the greatest distance away from home. It had been a surprise, and you’d nearly cried when you saw them, leaping away from the table, interrupting your conversation with Jean, to get to them.

Later, you found Levi in the kitchen, a drink in his hands, as he took in the silence away from everyone.

“Everything okay?” you asked, smiling, your entire face bright as you shuffled through the cooler for your own drink. “I didn’t mean to leave you alone, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, tipping the bottle back to his lips before setting it on the counter. “I managed to meet almost everyone anyway. They seemed pretty pleased you have a boyfriend now.” His expression was completely serious, and though his face always was, it sent another round of laughter through you, the beer you’d already drank settling in.

“I hope you gave them a good impression.” You took the spot at the counter beside him, ignoring the softness of his eyes, the way they melted as he stared at you.

Had that always happened, or were you just imagining it…

No, it was definitely the beer.

“Maybe a bad impression would be best,” Levi disagreed, running his fingers across the counter, beside the spot where you rested your hip. “That would make it easier for them to accept our break-up later on.”

“Of course,” you teased, though the mention of the “breakup” that wouldn’t take place at all made disappointment seep into your core. Perhaps, over the course of just a few days, you’d come to enjoy Levi’s company.

Or, maybe, you just decided to accept that you’d always enjoyed it.

“I won’t do that, though,” he concluded. “Not when you look so happy.”

You didn’t get the chance to contemplate that before Mikasa stuck her head through the kitchen door, calling out to get your attention. “Hey.” There was a frown on her face, and she nodded back towards the front door, pointing behind herself. “Zeke’s here. Just so you know.”

You sucked in a breath, nodding, and Mikasa smiled sympathetically before going back to Eren.

For some reason, you were even less prepared to face Zeke than you thought you’d be.

“Okay?” Levi asked quietly. HIs eyebrows tugged up, towards one another, concerned.

You forced a smile, and stepped away from his embrace. “I’m fine,” you said, nodding, but you weren’t able to meet Levi’s eyes, too enraptured by the panic that had begun to claw at you. “Let’s go, better to just rip the band-aid off.”

“I’ll be out in a second.”

Although you didn’t want to walk out alone, you left Levi, heading back to the living room, where at least you’d have the protection of your vast group of friends. You considered grabbing another beer — you needed more than just one to get through the evening, but before you could protest, Sasha had whisked you away, pulling you into some ridiculous, made-up game with Jean and Connie.

For a while, you were able to avoid Zeke, until he’d caught you in pursuit of another drink, your laughter dying the moment your voice was called out in a tone you had never wanted to hear again.

“I didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

You shifted, spinning around, nails digging into your palm, your jaw clenched. The sight of Zeke standing there sent a wave of nausea over you, doubly so, when you saw the woman standing next to him.

She wasn’t the same one that you remembered with him before, the reason he’d split up with you an entire year ago. No, this one was much taller, her hair smooth and dark as it cascaded down her back. She was wearing a pair of brown, round glasses, and she was beautiful.

“I came to see Eren,” you said, eyes flitting between Zeke and his new girlfriend. She seemed just his type. Pretty, intelligent, a sense of style to match. Anything and everything he’d claimed that you were not. “I was certainly hoping to avoid you.”

“Yet, here we are,” Zeke smiled. He looked the same, exactly the same, as if time has done nothing but turn him into a worse version of himself. His eyes were a little more dull, another wrinkle around the corners, but that was the extent of it all. “This is my girlfriend, Cassandra.”

Cassandra greeted you politely, spoke in a way that was much more smooth than your own voice, her back straight. Instantly, you wondered how anyone like her could fall for someone like Zeke. Yet, you supposed you had done just that, which only proved your stupidity.

Zeke attempted to make small talk, and you smiled, awkwardly, uncomfortably, as your hands began to shake at your sides. It must have been obvious, what you were to Zeke, and you felt horrible for making Cassandra endure the formalities.

“How have you been?” Zeke asked, placing an arm around Cassandra’s shoulder to tuck her into his side. You watched the movement with disgust. “Seems like much hasn’t changed about you, has it?”

It was low, in a way that only you and Zeke could understand — and your face was burning, hot, as you looked around the room for anyone to free you from the conversation. “I’m fine,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself, close to telling Zeke to kindly fuck off for the rest of the evening. “Actually-”

“There you are,” an arm wrapped around your own waist, a hand on your side. Calm, instantly raining down upon you. “I was wondering where you’d gone.”

Levi kissed you on the temple, and for a moment, your brain short-circuited, questions rising up as you glanced over at him, mouth parted in surprise. But Levi wasn’t looking at you, too busy fixing Zeke with a bored expression, eyes flitting over him in judgement.

“You must be Zeke,” he said, and perhaps it was just your imagination, but you felt him squeeze your hip once, as if comforting you. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Zeke cracked a smile. “Good things, I hope.”

“Terrible, actually.”

That only seemed to heighten Zeke’s amusement, and he laughed, loudly. “You must be the new boyfriend.”

Levi glanced down at Zeke’s outstretched palm. “I am,” he said, but made no move to shake Zeke’s hand, ignoring the formalities. Instead, he guided you away from the couple.

For a moment, you blinked, staring out at the space where your friends were congregating, unbeknownst to the interaction in the kitchen. Then, you were relaxing into Levi’s side, the smell of his cologne lingering on his sweater, soothing you.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “I could’ve avoided him. You didn’t have to kiss me.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “That? That was nothing.” He came around to face you, eyes scanning you for any sign of sadness. “Are you okay?”

His consideration shot warmth through every vein of your body, igniting your skin. A smile spread across your lips, and you felt dizzy with it, hating it all at the same time. “I’m okay,” you said, leaning closer, if only to remain within the space of Levi Ackerman. “I just can’t believe him. Showing up like that, and—”

“Don’t give him the fucking time of day.” Levi shook his head, for once, his seriousness not bleeding into sarcasm. “Just enjoy your time with your friends.”

You locked eyes with him, watched as his features turned tender, the cool blue of his irises lightening under his thick lashes. Swallowing, you nodded, looking away, and resumed your place close to Levi, remembering you were supposed to be selling the relationship, not making people question it.

Levi squeezed your shoulder, and you went back to talking with Mikasa and Eren, even though you were distracted by the other pair of eyes that watched you from across the room.

Zeke’s gaze was all that you could feel, even though all of your friends did their best to maintain your attention, remind you that Zeke might have been there, but it didn’t matter — not when there were so many others that cared about you.

It didn’t do much to soothe you, but your tried your best to relax, studying Levi as he spoke, the movement of his sharp jaw, the soft hair that rested over his forehead. He was wearing a soft, burgundy button-up, the sleeves tighter around his wrists, one that complemented his complexion nicely. It nearly matched your own red dress, this one a brighter shade, but still, close enough to seem as if you had planned it.

As the evening went on, the tension drained out of you, and you began to feel more comfortable under Levi’s arm.

Fleetingly, you wondered if this was what Levi was really like in a relationship. Attentive, caring, sweet. Softer towards you only, a secret smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, even if he didn’t let it show.

The thought sent a spiral of longing through you that you ignored, and you sighed, hating that you were constantly on edge. If not from Zeke, than from the way Levi was holding you close, his fingers grazing, caressing your sides.

“By the way, Levi, happy birthday,” Mikasa said, a giggly mess after a few beers. “I almost forgot!”

You made a face at Levi, your expression tied up together. “Birthday?” you asked, frowning.

He waved you off, mumbling a thanks to Mikasa, before she walked off to find another drink, one Eren insisted she didn’t need.

“Levi?” you said again, grabbing his pale wrist, your hand gripping the watch tightly. “It’s your birthday?”

“Tomorrow.” Levi cringed, looking over your shoulder, like that was the last thing he wanted to discuss.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

A horrible emotion washed over you, one that was both guilt and melancholy. Levi knew your birthday. Hange had invited him when they’d made you a birthday dinner, and Levi had brought you some flowers, a gift card to your favorite store.

You’d never even bothered to ask when his birthday was. Hadn’t even thought about it.

“I don’t really celebrate,” he shrugged, running his tongue over his cheek.

“I’m sorry — I should’ve —”

“Don’t.” Levi brushed your hair out of your face, shaking his head. The touch soothed you, his fingers so gentle on your temple. “It’s really okay. People are usually too busy with Christmas, and I don’t care much about it anyway.”

You opened your mouth to protest, Levi shook his head again, smiling. “Don’t apologize. Mikasa is the only one who knows, really. Hange knows it’s in December, but I don’t like making a big deal of it.” He sighed, pinching his temple, before looking back at you. "I promise. It doesn't matter."

Still, you couldn't help but feel horrible for not realizing, for dragging him out of town for you, when it was his birthday. “I’m sorry,” you said again, heart clenching.

Levi rolled his eyes, defensive, and moved along, tugging you forward, clearly not wanting to discuss the matter any further.

It ate at you for the rest of the evening, though, nearly distracting you from the fact that your ex-boyfriend was there at all.

You stuck with Levi for the rest of the night, but eventually, needed to use the bathroom, hoping to get back downstairs as soon as possible. Though, your plan was undermined when you opened the door, the other side revealing Zeke, leaning against the wall. His eyes raked over your body, a mix of anger and hunger as you left the bathroom, waving your hands to dry them completely.

“Zeke,” you said, ignoring the hammering in your heart, the way that your panic had spiked the moment you saw him. “What the fuck do you want?”

He laughed, though it was without humor, as he pushed away from the wall, coming towards you. You felt small under his dark gaze, the way he pinned you, so much more cruelly than Levi did. “I can’t tell if you’re actually serious, or if you’re fucking with me,” Zeke said, and it took you a moment to figure out what he was referring to, his eyes hard and narrowed under the thick lenses of his glasses. “Do you really think I believe you? Believe this act that you have going on with your boyfriend?”

You blinked back at him, momentarily at a loss for words, before you forced a laugh from your chest, spitting at him cruelly. “God, Zeke,” you said, shaking your head. “Are you so paranoid that you think I would go to that extent? I stopped caring about you a long time ago, and I’ve moved on.” You tried to push past him, blood rushing through your body; all you could think about was getting back downstairs to Levi.

“Right,” Zeke didn’t let you get far, grabbing your wrist and jerking hard. He forced you back into the wall, your shoulder hitting it with a thump. “I know you’re still not over me. You haven’t been, and we’d both be better off if you could admit that to yourself.”

You glared, prying his grip off, even if he wouldn’t let go. “Leave me alone, Zeke. I’ve never regretted anything as much as I regret you.”

“Please,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes, grazing them all over your face. Zeke had never been a good listener, had never seen eye to to eye with you, but he sure pretended to. “You wanted me for years. You loved me.”

“Maybe at some point. Not anymore.” you said through gritted teeth, tugging again, desperate almost. But Zeke didn’t let you free, his grip harder, bruising your skin. “Zeke. Get off of me. I don’t want to talk to you.”

That subtle remark served to do nothing but make him angrier. His features contorted, shoving you backwards so you were pressed against him, his knees brushing your thighs.

A flash of fear went through you, and though you didn’t want to seem like a coward, didn’t want to scream for anyone in the house to help you, you considered it. Zeke towered over you, his breath fanning over your cheeks, thumbs grazing your jaw. “I’m not an idiot,” he said, smiling, that same saccharine grin he’d given you when you were together. “I know that man downstairs isn’t really in love with you.”

“What makes your so sure that you’re right about that?”

That seemed the question he had been dying to answer all evening.

“Oh, it’s easy to spot, really. Just look at you,” Zeke said. “You were nothing without me, and you’re nothing still.” He laughed, loud and cruel, finally stepping away, giving you an escape route. “No one wanted you before, and no one wants you now… Especially not now that I’ve ruined you.” He shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets, a dismissal. “And it was so easy to do.”

Tears sprang to your eyes; breaths left you, stuttered exhales that were more than forced. “I hate you.”

“Why?” Zeke asked, curious. “I did you a favor.”

You stared at him, wondering how he could possibly believe himself to be so benevolent, to have saved you from some existence that would have been miserable, without the divine lesson he’d bestowed upon you. Though, it wasn’t long before you realized that he was taunting you, trying his best to make an embarrassment of you, laughing at the way the tears had flooded your eyes so easily.

You rushed down the stairs, holding back your sobs.

As your feet touched the bottom step, you collided with another body, turning the corner, too off-kilter to recognize who it was. “Sorry,” you said, the word coming out soft, weak. “I’m sorry, I have to—”

“Hey.” Levi’s soothing voice washed over you, his hands on your shoulders snapping you out of your distress. At first, he hadn’t realized that you were crying, the tears hidden by the palms that covered your eyes. Gently, Levi pried them away, taking your wrists in his hands, staring at you with a severe expression. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” you said, wiping at your face furiously; Levi was unconvinced. “I just… ran into Zeke upstairs, that's all.”

That soured his mood immediately, expression turning cold, a glare overtaking it as he understood. “Fucking asshole,” Levi ground out, teeth clenching together. “What did he say to you?”

“Levi, I said I’m fine.” But your glossy eyes revealed the opposite, the tears leaking from the corners of them only exacerbating the fact that Zeke had said something cruel. “Leave it alone.”

“Did he hurt you?” Navy eyes flicked all over your face, narrowing in concern. “What did he say, love?” It slipped from his lips, without thinking.

You stared back at him, frozen, hesitant. That sort of softness was one you’d never heard from Levi before, had never seen him so furious, yet so worried. It seemed every emotion that he had tucked away was bleeding onto his face, and you leaned into his touch, let him examine your wrists. A red ring was around it from Zeke’s heavy hand.

“I’m okay,” you promised, barely a whisper, taking your wrists back to hide them by your sides. Your lip quivered, and you looked away from Levi's concern as new wave of tears rushed over you, warming your body with despair. “He just doesn’t believe that we’re together. Said that you’d never love someone like me, anyway. That Zeke ruined me.” You shrugged, rubbing your elbows. “The usual.”

Levi clenched his fists, pushing past you. “Fuck.”

You could see the anger spelled out all over his expression, as he began his ascent up the stairs, feet heavy, infuriated.

You clutched at his sleeve. “Levi, stop. Just let it go.”

“I’m not going to let him fucking talk to you like that!” he said, and it was, nearly, the most emotion you’d ever seen out of Levi, his hands practically shaking at his sides. “He can’t just — ”

Levi grit his teeth, then shook you off, taking long strides to get to Zeke, who was leaving the bathroom just as you arrived. Although the smarter part of your brain nudged at you to stop Levi, you couldn’t help but let him play out his anger, wanting to see the look on Zeke’s face when he approached him.

The loud steps against the stairs gathered your ex-boyfriend's attention, and Zeke smiled, looking down at Levi from under his glasses, amused. Though, he didn’t get a chance to say a word before Levi had tugged him by the shirt, forced him against the wall, his gaze hard, almost scary.

Levi’s strength was almost surprising, had you not already known, but Zeke hadn’t. He glanced at Levi, then you, wide-eyed, before recovering smoothly. “Sent your guard dog after me, did you?” he asked you, a dull expression on his face.

“Don’t talk to her.” Levi snapped Zeke’s head back against the wall, forcing the taller man to look at him. “You may think you’re better than you are, but I don’t. You’re a piece of shit, and you never deserved her.” Levi said, eyes pinched, the words calm, even more serious than if he’d been shouting them. "Just stay the hell away."

“Really?” Zeke said, a smile curving onto his lips. “Or what?”

Levi stared for a minute longer, contemplative, and you sucked in a breath, wiping your eyes. You hardly registered the movement of Mikasa, who had rushed up the stairs, wrapping you up in her arms, whispering something to you that you didn't comprehend.

Before either of you could react, Levi had swung, hit Zeke square in the nose, blood trickling down not a moment later. When the blond man tried to react, swinging aimlessly, Levi ducked, and grabbed at Zeke's arm, forcing a knee into his stomach.

Zeke coughed and keeled, muttering a silent, “shit,” and a few other expletives, but not making any moves to swing again.

After he released him, Levi flexed his hand, looking over his shoulder to see you staring at him, Mikasa holding you tightly. He exhaled, sniffed back his anger, and turned.

“Levi—” you started, but he said nothing, pushing past you, his fingers running through his hair as he made his way down the stairs.

Mikasa whispered something else to you, but you wiggled out of her arms, ignoring her, as you followed after Levi. Your tears had dried, but they had, nonetheless, been obvious to everyone, who seemed to know exactly what had been going on when you walked downstairs.

Still, you didn’t meet any of their eyes, frowning, as you pushed open the door. You ignored the fact that it was below freezing outside, and you were in nothing but a jacket, when you found Levi, drawn to him light a magnet.

Flurries of snow rained down, dusting the top of Levi’s head, like little crystals against his dark hair. It was much quieter, away from the chatter, and the music, the night calm and serene, wrapping you in a blanket of comfort.

“Levi?” you said, approaching him quietly, shivering in the brisk air. It had snowed much more than you'd thought in the past few hours, coating the ground, painting a scene so perfect for Christmas Eve. Crystals of ice hung off the edge of the railing, the wind whipping the flurries around in a swirl.

Levi glanced over his shoulder, but said nothing for a moment, his breath coming out in a cold puff of air. Slowly, you came up beside him, watched as his cheeks began to tinge red from the wintery air, his hair brushing across his forehead from the wind.

“I’m sorry,” he said, blinking at the scene in front of him, as he leaned against the icy railing of the balcony. “That was a stupid thing to do. I embarrassed you in front of all of your friends.”

You paused, before a small laugh erupted from you. “Embarrassed?” you smiled, pulling on his forearm to guide his attention back to you. “Levi, no one cares. Truthfully, I’m grateful,” you admitted, retracting your hand, swallowing. “I never would’ve had the courage to do it myself.”

Levi’s eyes flashed, and he glanced over at you, conflicted. Christmas lights shimmered against the snow, dulled only by the darkness that lingered above you.

“Regardless,” he muttered, fixated on the wave of red and green. His lashes were coated in droplets of white, and your voice caught in your throat. He’d never looked so beautiful. “That was immature. I’m not — We’re not even really together.”

You laughed, the sound light and airy. “Well, surely Zeke believes us now. I think you’ve done enough to sell it, haven’t you?”

Levi sighed, dropping his gaze to the railing, his shoulders falling. “I suppose.”

Still, there was tension between you, and your stiff joke did little to diffuse it. You ran your hands up and down your own arms, feeling the goosebumps beneath them, trying to force your attention away from how cold you were.

“Zeke deserved it,” you said, quietly, shaking your head, eyebrows knit together. "You shouldn't feel bad."

“I know,” whispered back, just another exhaled of the wind. Levi didn’t move, didn’t bother to look at you, despite the fact that you were desperate to read any twitch of his expression, to get him to reveal what he was thinking.

Finally, after far too long, he glanced over, raked his eyes across your figure, the frozen posture that your body had turned to, the confusion all over your face. He frowned, dismissive. “We should go inside. You’re freezing.”

“I’m okay.”

“No—”

“Levi,” you said once more, halting him, a frowning permeating your lips. “Why did you do it?”

His face twitched. “Zeke? I told you, he has no right to—”

“No, no. Not that,” you waved him off, crossing your arms to hold them tightly to his chest. “I mean... Well, I suppose that too, but why did you come? Why would you choose to spend your birthday here, with me, of all places? Why do you even pretend to like me at all?”

Levi stared back, slowly blinking, his eyes wide, startled. Then, he started laughing, and for the first time, it was genuine. The sound left him deeply, amused, by your question.

And though, you didn’t understand, had no idea what was so funny about the sentiment, you couldn’t help but feel the warmth of his humor all the way down to your toes, the sound a battle against the brisk cold that slapped against you.

“You think I don’t like you?” Levi asked, shaking his head, laughs subsiding to a small smile.

“Well,” you said, defensive, sniffing. “Yeah. I’ve always thought that.”

“And? What do you think now?”

You remembered the small smiles you had shared, secrets almost. The way he talked with all of your friends, made an effort to see the beauty in the home you’d grown up in. The way he listened to you, took in your words and remembered them for later.

You shrugged, though it was half-hearted. “I don’t know.”

Silence fell between you, before Levi had cupped your jaw, tracing the softness of your cheeks, the hollow beneath the bone. His eyes held a sadness you didn’t understand, before he had looked past you, to the house next door, the one beyond that, and the one beyond that.

“Hange said you had no idea. I thought I’d been fairly obvious about it, all this time, but maybe I’m oblivious myself.”

“Levi,” you began, frustrated, confused by the way he touched you so gently, the way his sarcasm had subsided, and nothing remained but the gentleness between you. “I don’t—”

“I’m in love with you.”

A pause.

Another.

Slowly, your jaw fell slack. Your eyes grew wide, and you swallowed, as the sentence repeated over and over in your mind, until you could make sense of it.

Levi stepped away, clenching his jaw as he turned you, only his side profile visible. “I have been for quite a while. Hange was the one who pointed it out, and I realized…” He sighed. “Well, I realized they were right. I love you, and I thought that, maybe, if I pretended to be your boyfriend, you’d see I’m not as bad as you think. I didn’t care about spending my birthday at home because I want to be around you — I want to be around you, as often as I can. Perhaps, I'm a complete fool for that, but...” He trailed off, and though his eyes had hardened, not revealing any of the misery he felt, you could see it.

“Levi…”

“I just hope you know that whatever Zeke has planted in your mind, it isn’t true,” Levi spat, clenching his teeth. “You’re not unloveable. God, you were so easy to fall in love with, and I had no idea, that all this time, you’ve been thinking otherwise.” He sniffed, caught between sorrow and fury. “I would never have told you how I felt, but it doesn’t matter, anyway. As long as you know that what he says isn't true.”

You were still whirling from the confession, but Levi had already begun to walk off, trudging off into the house.

“Levi, wait,” you said, grasping at his arm before he could go back inside, get too far away from you. Your head was spinning, and you couldn’t think, couldn’t hear anything besides the words I’m in love with you.

And though he was frustrated, and a culmination of many other things, Levi did as you said, because he loved you; because he loved you, and he listened to you, and you had a hold over him.

Levi stopped, looking back at you, breathing deeply, waiting.

“I—” you began, but the words died there, because Levi looked so pretty with snowflakes on his lashes, and you thought of all the questions you’d never ask, and the fact that all this time, you’d wanted Levi… even if you’d been to scared to admit it.

You kissed him.

Your lips pressed against his, and though he was caught off-guard, eyes wide, he fell into it instantly, arms coming around your back to hold you close. Levi kissed you with a passion that Zeke never had, grabbing at your body like a lifeline, desperate and adoring.

Levi tasted of peppermint, smelled like tea, and felt like a home you hadn’t known since you’d been back here. Something clicked into place, your mind shifting, and your hands fisted in the back of his coat, holding onto him tight.

“You love me?” you asked in a small voice, eyes glossy from a sort of happiness you hadn’t felt in years.

Levi smiled down at you, his expression bright, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He traced your jaw, kissed your forehead, your nose, your cheeks. “I love you.” Another lingering kiss on your lips. “I’d spend all of my life showing you, if you’d let me; getting rid of all those lies Zeke planted in your head." Levi inhaled, rested his head against your own gently.

“I thought you didn’t like to date," you said, closing your eyes.

He huffed out a laugh. “I don’t.”

“Are there other women?”

“What?” Levi shook his head, amused, when you finally pried your eyes back open. You wondered if you’d ever seen him so happy; if you’d ever seen him happy at all. If, maybe, you could keep him happy forever. “No, I’m — Is that what you’ve thought of me all this time?”

Embarrassed, you dipped your head to his shoulder, warming yourself up in his embrace. He took that as yes for an answer.

“I’m not interested in dating, and I really haven’t been with many people before, contrary to what you believe,” he teased, running his fingers along your spine. “Certainly, not since I met you. Does that answer suffice?”

You ran your hands against his chest, kissing his collarbone, his neck, then along his jaw, letting every ounce of your affection seep into it. “I don’t want you to see anyone else,” you admitted, looking at him from under your lashes, remembering exactly what Zeke had done to you, at exactly the same time that he did.

“I won’t, my love,” Levi swore, kissing you once more, sweet and wonderful in the snowy Christmas Eve.

"And, maybe," you began shyly, playing with the buttons of his deep maroon shirt. "We can start fresh tomorrow. I don't know enough about you, Levi Ackerman," you said, frowning, a wrinkle forming between your eye. "But I'd like to."

Levi relaxed, shifting into a version of himself that so few would ever get to see, sweet and caring, with eyes so soft. He smiled. "I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday."

જ⁀➴ REBLOGS APPRECIATED !

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jjkeremika · 7 months

Text

AoT men in your class hit on you

description: you’re in classes with the men from attack on titan; they try to flirt with you.

pairing: reiner x reader, armin x reader, connie x reader, jean x reader, eren x reader, levi x reader, erwin x reader, zeke x reader, galliard x reader

*unspecified gendered reader*

Reiner

Reiner flashed you his prettiest smile, the one he’d practiced in the mirror on occasion, the one he knew looked nice. The smile was contagious, sparking a small smile to grow on your face as you peered at him out of the corner of your eyes.

He’d keep the smile as he’d scratch at the back of his neck, asking, “Want to study together for the next quiz?” Reiner would flex his bicep a little more, raise his eyebrow and smirk seductively, run his hand through his shirt blond hair. “I’ll test you. Tonight”

Armin

You were surprised when Armin asked for your help with studying. He’d been scoring the highest in the class until recently, which you had assumed to have been a fluke.

Armin would curl his toes into the ground and bite the inside of his lip as the heat rushed to his face, as he lied about his level of understanding and hoped you’d believe it. Hoped you’d spend extra time with him, one-on-one.

“If you have the time,” he’d added cautiously, your silence unsettling him. “There’s no pressure, but Id repay you however you… please…” He swallowed hardly, you watched his adam’s apple bob. “However… unconventional.”

Connie

Connie would scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment, faux-confidence reeking off his skin as he flexed his muscles and tried to appear solid. The light sheen of sweat and pink blush across his cheeks exposed the truth, but you were willing to look past it because it was so warm out.

“Hey, y/n…” His usually loud voice was quieter today, a usually unbound announcement finally directed towards someone—you, “how are you feeling for this next quiz? I-I can help you if you need it.”

You couldn’t stifle the laugh in time before it was bubbling off your lips, making Connie’s face darker but also causing him to chuckle a little too. “H-hey, why is that so funny?”

Jean

Jean always tried too hard to impress you. Fumbling the ball because he checked to see if you watched him catch it; missed the goalpost because he focused on you being on the sideline and not the direction of the ball; wiped out during the mile run because he spent more time waving at you than watching the trail.

You tended to any wounds after, unsure if the blush that intimately graced his face was from the embarrassment of failing or the fact that your hands were on his body or both. Maybe it was on purpose, always needing your help.

Both yours and his gazes were fixed onto his ankle, where your hands were slowly and wrapping a bandage around the bruised skin. "Thank you... for always helping," Jean uttered coyly, looking up to make eye contact, his skin warm. "Maybe I can return the favor somehow." He looked away, the pink turning a deep red, but his fingertips were brushing your upper-arm. "Help you..."

Eren

Eren had sat next to you today, waving slightly. You greeted him and Mikasa as she sat on his other side. "Hey," he greeted softly, "did... did you get a haircut?"

"Yeah," you nodded, running your hand through the strands quickly. He blushed and looked away, facing the table.

"He thinks you look nice," Mikasa said plainly, smiling at you from behind him, which prompted him to look at her in a flash of horror and embarrassment and whisper-shouted, "Mikasa! Stop!"

You laughed, the magnetic sound pulling Eren's attention back towards you. "I think you look nice too, Eren," you complimented, biting your lip shyly.

He froze for a moment, struggling to remember how to breathe. "I, uh, um," he started, swallowing in between, "You look... nicer."

"He'd think you'd look nicer on a date together," Mikasa chirped from behind him, settling into the chair. He shouted at her again, the blush deepening.

Levi

Since you normally spent time in a group, having it be just you and Levi felt a little awkward. Most of the time he didn't speak anyway and you silently traced his features, appreciated each angle. You fiddled with a ring as you debated topics to bring up, wondered if he wanted to even speak to you at all. That was the thing with him. You had no idea where you stood.

You had opened your mouth to speak when he interrupted, "Did you get a haircut?" Same tone as always, but he was looking at you now with that iron gaze, the one that sucked the air out between them like a vacuum.

You hummed and nodded. "It looks nice." He reached his hand out and briefly touched the loose strand in front of your ear. "Suits you."

Erwin

Erwin had called out your name in the hallway to grasp your attention, his tight t-shirt immediately catching your eyes as he rushed over to you. It didn't help that he was so tall, and your eyes met at his nipples, and his shirt was so tight.

He repeated your name which caused your attention to move from his chest to his lips. He'd said something. You weren't paying attention. Shit.

"Sorry, what?" you asked sheepishly, blushing from embarrassment. Because it was him, the guy who always gave off the perfect persona, the guy who didn't need to ask because he was always listening.

Erwin laughed and repeated his offer to carry your textbooks to class, taking them from your hands before you could respond and walking alongside you.

Then you watched him unintentionally ignore a friend, someone who tried to say hi to him but he was oblivious to it. You couldn't explain it, but the fact that he didn't hear it made your palms sweat. You thought he was always aware, always listening.

But maybe that was just because he was always listening to you.

Zeke

You had fallen into step with Zeke after Jean and Eren ran off together, racing and arguing over some obsolete, absurd test of masculinity.

"Are you going to join them?" you asked him jokingly, pointing towards the immature boys trying to trip the other one as they both ran.

Zeke sighed, "I'd hoped you knew me better than that." He slumped his shoulders dramatically, and clutched his hand over his heart. "Oh, how your words wound me."

You rolled your eyes. "You're so dramatic, just like your brother." Zeke scoffed as you shrugged. "But that just means it runs in the family. Besides, you're way more mature than your brother. Like, he's not even on the board. So--"

"You are quite mature... and remarkable," he interrupted. You blushed, automatically retorting with a sarcastic commend, "Okay, well I didn't say you were remarkable."

"I'd like to be," he said plainly, stopping to look at you, "to be remarkable to you. To mean something to you."

Galliard

Normally Galliard only approached you on days where Reiner was all over you, picking on Reiner in front of you every chance he got, puffing his chest out slightly whenever you laughed.

Today, though, you were sat at your desk alone when he walked over and sat in front of you. “Hey, Porco,” you greeted, smiling, originally intending to quickly glance up but your irises caught on his and now they felt tethered.

“Good morning, y/n,” he replied smoothly, his tone different when Reiner wasn’t around, when it was just you two. It was silent for a moment, the only sign of time passing being the other students moving around you. “Heard Reiner asked you out. Wanted to hear what charity you were a part of that made you say yes.”

You laughed, covering your mouth in embarrassment when other students looked at you. He smirked, a light pink embracing his cheeks. "We should go out sometime," he added, winking, "Whatever time Reiner's thing is."

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 + 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐒 • 𝐏𝐓 𝟏.

a thread of visuals and vids with the pairings we all know and love on this page. (ft. musician eren, cowboy reiner, plug connie, nail tech mikasa, toxic armin, air force cadet onyakonpon, and a few others)

content warning: nsfw things and stuff, black fem reader, (please don’t open this in public and use some headphones 😭) face sitting, backshots, fingering, choking, lots of dirty talk, squirting, and a bunch of other shit.

📝: one of y’all asked for nsfw links for musician eren a while back but tumblr was geeking and fucked up the layout of the first post. But I’ve seen a few posts like this and it’s by no means my idea! I was actually super inspired by @bkgbunni’s audio posts because they were literally god tier! (I hope it’s okay if I use this, I’m sorry! 😭) but yeah, here y’all go! 🫶🏾

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .* * . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .* * . °•★|•°∵

cowboy!reiner always talks about how much he wants you to have his first child and get you pregnant. He just didn’t think you’d take matters into your own hands one night.

musician!eren and influencer (y/n) had been sneaking around for a while. After his newest video featuring you as the lead lady, he couldn’t help but to thank you for coming through and looking so good on set.

zeke never really could control his urges or thoughts around you. He finally gets to bring his dream of folding you up into fruition when you decide to spend the night.

rich lawyer!erwin’s favorite act of love is to give his beloved (y/n) massages. This time, he decides to incorporate some new techniques.

nail tech!mikasa knew just who to call when she needed help setting up her new studio. She has the perfect way to thank you after a long day of hard work.

air force lieutenant!onyakonpon returns from deployment to learn that his childhood sweetheart has blossomed in to a beautiful woman. Who’s also fresh off of a break up. Lucky for you, he has the perfect way to help you overcome your heartache.

plug!connie despises when you give him attitude after his drops. But he has the perfect cure for that.

toxic!armin knows how important it is for you to be on time to work but you could never say no to him when he asks you to stay a little longer and give him some ‘breakfast in bed’

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cutecinnamon · 3 months

Text

"A Broken Teacup" { Postwar Levi x Reader Oneshot }

CW: ⊹₊ Angst and Eventual Comfort ⊹₊ Pregnancy ⊹₊ Mention of Intimate Moments ⊹₊ Mention of a Character Death ⊹₊ Writing this made me cry a bit ⊹₊ ( I need a hug ) ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

• 3,096 word count •

:gif from pinterest

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Synopsis:

(y/n) was Levi's caretaker, close friend and former squadmate. After the rumbling and the death of Hange,

Hange has left a void at Levi's heart that (y/n) can't fill.

After seeking warmth and comfort from each other, (y/n) ends up carrying Levi's baby.

Due to their complicated and unclear relationship mixed with the fact that they are both hurting, Another incident occurs, (y/n) accidentally knocked off Hange's favorite teacup from the kitchen counter, leading to a further strain in their relationship.

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After the rumbling that occured that wiped out eighty-percent of humanity, Levi ended up in a not so good state, he lost one of his eye and two of his fingers from the thunderspear explosion with Zeke. During the final war with Eren's titan form, Levi's leg was also damaged making him unable to move as efficiently as he did during his prime.

At a small little cozy house in Marley near the sea in a nearby small but warm village, Levi resided there, with his former squadmate (y/n).

Levi and (y/n) were both pretty close honestly, When Erwin and Hange were both still alive, they were the closest friends, Their bond with each other was more than just comrades and friends, They were like family.

Levi wasn't the expressive type, but (y/n) knew that Levi had strong emotions that he conveyed for the former Commander Hange, They were always close, Hange had this warmth in her that Levi needed, that Levi seeks for, They once even talked about living at a small cottage at the forest after everything was over when Levi was injured and Hange tended to his wounds. But everything shattered for Levi when she passed away due to a honorable sacrifice she made in order to save the squad and to save Humanity.

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The room was filled with the sounds of panting, (y/n) and Levi just finished an intimate activity in their sofa at their small dim living room. (y/n) knew that a void was left in Levi's heart, it was a huge void that even her love itself can't fill.

"Captain..." (y/n) burries herself into Levi's chest, sinking into his warmth.

Levi returns the warmth but his gaze falter,

"I'm sorry (y/n)..." He said in a somewhat monotone voice that conveyed sorrow,

(y/n) knew what it meant, she can never fill the void Hange had left the former Captain, She was the person Levi would always run to, the person Levi would seek comfort to, the person that will hold Levi's heart for the longest time.

------♡----------------♡------------------♡---------

Two months had past prior to the intimate activity that Levi and (y/n) did, Levi noticed the change in her appetite, how she would always run to the sink as she threw up the contents from her stomach every morning, how she was more sensitive and emotional compared to the reserved and calm demanor she usually had.

Levi approached (y/n) as her head was at the sink again as she went through her new routine of retching and heaving every morning.

"Are you ok (y/n)?" Levi asked her, with concern evident in his tone of voice, he spoke to her in a gentle and calming tone, which was different from his usual monotone and stern demanor and way of communicating.

"I'm alright..." (y/n) replied as she wiped her mouth and opened the sink letting the water gush cleaning any remains of the component she just discarded.

Levi looked at her, his gaze held a mixture of concern and doubt as (y/n) tried to shrug off his question with the usual "I'm alright" line she uses.

"You're clearly not alright, I'm not blind (y/n) and I'm certainly not dumb." Levi said his voice still held the same concern but with a bit of sterness this time as he made sure to dig deeper into this matter.

"Captain... I..." (y/n) tried to speak but to no avail as she knew she was cornered at this rate and that eventually he'll find out sooner or later, heck she won't be able to hide this for the next few weeks once she starts to show.

Levi scanned her expressions, she was easy to read, Levi knew (y/n) well, she was an open book to him.

"You're carrying, are you not?" Levi asked her, his voice held a bit of hesitation but with certain firmness lacing it as he tried to delve deeper in this matter.

(y/n) just stared at him, her eyes were still a bit puffy due to the tears she shed earlier while threwing up. She did not mutter a single word which was already a dead giveway to Levi's lingering question.

Levi sighs, he knew the situation was not even close to ideal, hell it was very complicated at this rate since the life inside her was a result of him seeking for Hange's warmth and trying to find any bit of what he can recieve from (y/n).

(y/n) just stares at the floor her thoughts still spiraling from the endless loop of thoughts about the baby she was carrying, about her relationship with Levi and about Levi's love for Hange.

Levi's orbs also reflected the same, it carried a lot of emotions, mostly confusion on how to feel about this.

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A few more weeks had passed, Levi decided to do his best in terms of looking after (y/n) although they haven't discussed her pregnancy as much as an ideal expecting loving couple would do, he did try his best to keep his eye on her to make sure she was doing alright.

(y/n)'s heart was also at the verge of drowning from the weight its carrying. She felt lost, alone, and despite not wanting to admit it, she did crave for Levi's affection, support, and Love.

Both (y/n) and Levi grew up with no proper father and mother figure after their parents passed. Levi grew up at the underground and his mother Kuchel died when he was younger, leaving him with his uncle Kenny who also left him after teaching Levi how to fend for himself. (y/n) on the other hand was also left to fend for herself eversince she was young, as she had lost her parents at a young age. All she ever wanted was to give the baby she was carrying the life they truly deserved, a life better than what she and Levi had when they were younger.

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One Afternoon, (y/n) was washing the porcelain teacups and teapot after she prepared tea for her and Levi just like their usual routine, even though she was pregnant with their little one, she still kept his word to take care of Levi until he fully recovered, not wanting to leave his side despite knowing that his heart belongs to someone else.

After washing two porcelain teacups (y/n) stared at a specific one, a pearly white with blueish hue teacup that had a dainty pattern of small pink flowers, a teacup that held a lot of memory for the former Captain, It was Hange's favorite cup that she would always borrow from Levi when the squad or the superiors had their meetings, it was a cup that held a lot of memories and meanings to him, thats why until now, he made it clear that he wants to use that teacup despite the almost dozen of different pearly colored ones at their kitchen cabinet.

(y/n) gently placed the teacups and teapot at their kitchen counter, though what she didn't notice was their sink was somewhat broken as a small puddle of water from the calming flow from the faucet had already made its way at their kitchen floor making it wet and slippery.

(y/n) almost slipped at the floor, fortunately she managed to hold onto the kitchen counter but it had its price, as Hange's favorite pearly white teacup with blueish hue hit their cold kitchen floor.

Levi immediately came down the stairs from their shared bedroom, after hearing the loud thud, Levi stood there, his gaze not leaving the large chunks of porcelain at the floor that held the memories of the woman he holds in his heart dearly.

(y/n)'s orbs met Levi's gray orbs that also had a blueish hue to it, It held a lot of emotions that she was unable to read, if she was being honest she saw hate, anger, disappointement and sorrow.

"Le-Levi it was an accident... I..." (y/n) tried to explain but Levi cuts her off.

"Save it, I don't want to hear it (y/n)." Levi responds, trying to keep his tone in monotone, despite his anger visibly flaring up.

"Levi... I... I'm sorry... I almost slipped and I reached onto the counter and I... I didn't realize that I accidentally knocked off Hange's favorite cup..." (y/n) tried to explain, her voice was shaking as she was at the verge of tearing up in front of him, she knew the importance of the cup, Hange was a dear friend to her, Erwin and Levi.

(y/n) also knew how much she meant to Levi and how he always tries to find the reminders of her in the small little things that she left behind just like the now shattered pieces of porcelain at kitchen floor.

Levi looked at her, although he was hard to read (y/n) knew he despises her for what happened.

"Levi... please... please listen to me..." (y/n) said softly as she gently tugged the sleeves of Levi's white polo shirt.

"Do you even know how much that teacup means to me (y/n)?" Levi responded to her, his tone laced with anger which he hardly tried to supress.

(y/n) maintained eye contact with Levi, she prepared herself for the words that he might bombard at her, she knew she messed up badly and it was something she cannot fully mend.

"You know what (y/n), I don't know if you're just incompetent or stupid but, how can you expect someone like you who can't even take care of a fragile little teacup to take care of a damn little baby?" Levi asked her, his gaze piercing her.

It hurt, hearing Levi said that made (y/n) feel that she was not qualified, she was not enough to fill the void that Hange left and she accepted it, she was the one looking after Levi and giving him the care and attention he needed, but at the end of the day those words would slip from his mouth.

Levi's words impacted (y/n) a lot, which he never really intended. He was at the verge of anger and his mind was clouding his judgement and choice of words.

After glancing at (y/n) one final time he went back upstairs to their shared bedroom with his cane.

Immediately, (y/n) kneeled down the floor picking up the big chunks of shard, despite her hands getting small cuts and bruises from the former teacup, she did her best to pick up each and every piece delicately, she then placed it on top of the table as she searched their house for a hot glue gun, she knew it was dumb to try and fix something that was already shattered, but for all that mattered to (y/n) was Levi's happiness, even if it meant his forgiveness was uncertain.

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Levi's mind started to go back to his memories with Hange,

"Oi, four eyes, don't you dare touch my teacup again. You have your own." Levi said with his usual tone.

"Levi, stop being such a hot tempered Captain, if you continue to be like that you might scare all the cadets away." Hange responded with her usual cheery tone.

Hange was a contrast to Levi's cold attitude, and Levi admired that about her.

Levi remembered that Hange loves that teacup thats why he really did cherish it.

His mind then went back to the sight of (y/n) earlier, the way she was shaking and at the verge of tears from what happened. Levi knew that (y/n) would never do that on purpose, he knew (y/n) for a long time now, as she was also a close friend of his for a long time already and one of the most skilled scout in his former squad, she proved herself to him a lot of times already, especially now that she decided to stay behind and to look after him while he was recovering. Levi believes her when she told him she almost slipped at the floor and she accidentally knocked off the teacup, but his anger got the best of him.

Levi sighed as he made his way to the door grabbing his cane to check up on (y/n) he knew that she was in a fragile state due to her pregnancy, and he knew he had gone to far from the hurtful words he said to her.

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Quiet sobs were heard at the living room as (y/n) placed the last chunk of porcelain shard at the broken teacup, she managed to put everything back in place, it was back to how it is supposed to look like despite the cracks which were marks that it was already damaged, that it was already broken.

Levi's words from earlier continued to linger in (y/n)'s mind making her question if she was really capable of taking care of their little one which further added to her overwhelming emotions and anxiety.

(y/n) was still crying silently, trying to silence the quiet sobs she was unable to hold back, she really did care about Levi, she really did love him, even though his heart belonged to another.

(y/n) stared at the cup, her thoughts overwhelming her with emotions. She tried her best to make Levi happy, from cleaning their tiny house the way he wants it to be spotless, the way she tried to learn and cook the dishes that Levi loved, To dedicating her life into staying at Marley to tend to him while he recovers, and the way she tried to push her own happiness aside, she always tried her best to understand him. She was always there for him when he wanted to talk about Hange, when he was lost after the war.

She even came as far as making love with him to give him the comfort and warmth he needed, which resulted to their now growing baby in her womb.

Even if it did hurt her knowing that Levi will never see her the same way he did with Hange.

(y/n) heard foosteps from the stairs, breaking her from her thoughts, she then turned to see Levi, who was walking slowly with the help of his cane as he approaches her.

Levi saw the teacup, he then glances at (y/n)'s hands noticing the scratches, some are even covered with a bit of crimson colored blood, he also glanced at her face, her eyes were red and puffy from crying for a few hours now.

Levi made his way to their cabinet at the living room to grab a small box, it was a first aid kit, he then settles it at the table as he takes a sit next to (y/n).

Levi gently grabs (y/n)'s hands as he gently applied an ointment to it, disinfecting it, he then made sure to delicately wrap her hands with a clean bandage.

Levi saw how (y/n) didn't mind getting hurt, and that she disregarded the wounds at her hands for the sake of putting the teacup back in place, and this had an impact on him, he then started to look back to everything, her sacrifices to take care of him, and her willingness to carry their little one despite their unclear and complicated relationship.

(y/n) was still avoiding Levi's gaze but she managed to speak out a few words before being unable to control her tears again.

"I'm really sorry Levi... I really didn't mean to..." (y/n) said as tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"Shhh..." Levi gently wraps his arms around her small frame.

"I'm sorry (y/n) I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, instead of getting mad about the teacup breaking, I should've checked on you... to make sure you and our little one aren't hurt." Levi said to her with a soothing and comforting voice as he gently strokes her hair trying to calm her down from crying, which was honestly quite foreign, it was a softer side of him, (y/n) knew Levi had this side, but it was her first time to actually feel and experience it, this side of him was more understanding, caring and affectionate.

"I should've been more emotionally and physically available for you, I should be the one supporting you throughout your pregnancy. You have always taken care of me (y/n), and I hope this time maybe I can still make it up to you." Levi said his voice still laced with the softness and affection his eyes also glistening a bit from the tears he is holding back.

"Levi..." (y/n) called out to him as she continued to embrace him, not wanting to let go of his warmth.

"I give you my word (y/n) from now on we will both try to make this work, alright?"

Levi asked her, it was honestly more of like a statement since even if she did say no, he will forbid it.

"I want to give our little one a happy and loving family they deserve... I also want you to recieve the love you deserve (y/n)."

Levi slightly pulled away his orbs locking to

(y/n)'s glistening once.

They both gave each other a nod, it was like a pact to do their best for their baby to have the family they deserve, and to also open their hearts for love since after everything they've been through, they still have each other and maybe one day the void in Levi's heart will slowly be filled.

Levi glanced at the teacup although it was shattered, it was broken, it was still standing, it was still stable. Its pearly white color mixed with its blueish hue illuminating from the reflection of the moonlight through their window.

The teacup that once reminded him of Hange, now also reminded him of (y/n) in terms of how she did her best to pull herself together despite being hurt, despite being broken, despite everything they've been through. She was a strong woman and a capable mother for their little one.

------♡----------------♡------------------♡---------

Eversince that day, Levi opened his heart for

(y/n) although Hange still had a piece of his heart, he was slowly starting to get better in accepting the love his pregnant partner was now giving him.

As time went on Levi continued to feel his once shattered heart and its once unfixable void, swell with love from his new family, (y/n) and their little one.

"I love you (y/n)..." Levi whispered to her ear while tucking a few strands of hair falling at her face, as she fell asleep leaning on his shoulder.

(y/n) slowly opened her already tired and heavy eyelids meeting Levi's gray orbs glancing at her with genuine love and affection as both their hands were now resting at her swollen belly as they feel their little baby girl kicking inside her womb.

"I Love you too Levi... thank you for loving me and our Little one." (y/n) said gently as Levi leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss at her forehead.

------♡----------------♡------------------♡---------

Writing this honestly made me tear up, but I hope you all enjoyed this fic ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১♡

Edited: I just proofread this morning since I published it late midnight a few hours ago, I fixed a few errors and edited a few words used,

Let me know if you are interested in a mini sequel incase, thank you again for your time, ♡

- Cinna

#levi x y/n #levi x reader #aot levi #aot #hange zoe #levi ackerman #snk levi #captain levi #attack on titan #fanfic #I want to cry why did I write this

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heich0e · 1 year

Text

lucky strike - eren yeager/f!reader (3.2k) tags: baseball player!eren, college!au, modern!au, somewhat toxic relationship dynamic, childhood friends to good luck charm/fwb, reader is blatantly trying to get in zeke's pants and also she kind of sucks, heavy petting, making out, slightly rough/manhandling, eren picks reader up, mentions of eren being a big boy, tw reader is on a diet (/makes a questionable comment about bread), eren takes out his aggression on a sandwich. NSFW MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT (18+)

“Hey, want one?” Eren asks, the words vaguely garbled through a mouthful of food.

You scroll down on your Instagram feed, thumb hovering over a selfie of friend, before glancing up at him.

Eren is on the other side of his family’s kitchen, half a sandwich hanging from his mouth, and a peanut butter coated knife poised mid-air as he looks at you.

“Ew,” you say, returning your gaze to the phone in your hands, “no.”

“What do you mean ‘ew’?” Eren asks, swallowing his bite of sandwich. “You love peanut butter.”

“Peanut butter is so bad for you,” you remark, scrolling again. “And I’m not eating bread right now.”

“What the hell is wrong with peanut butter?” Eren mutters, setting the dirty knife on the edge of the sink. He shoves a hand up underneath his baggy t-shirt to scratch idly at his tummy. “And mom just got this bread this morning from that bakery in town you like. It’s so good.”

“It’s also a simple carbohydrate which means—“

The Yeager family’s back door swings closed, and your head swivels towards the sound. In the entryway, you spot a head of blonde hair as the figure ducks down to pull off their shoes.

“Zeke!” your voice is a full octave higher—and notably more enthusiastic—when you see Eren’s older brother.

Zeke tilts his face up as he unlaces his boots.

“Hey, kid,” he laughs when he sees you draped across the kitchen counter where you sit upon your barstool, beaming at him with a wide smile, “you here again?”

You nod happily, and Eren makes a noise of disdain from the other side of the kitchen. You shoot him a pointed look to shut him up as Zeke finishes removing his shoes.

“Don’t you ever get sick of hanging out with this guy?” Zeke drawls, shuffling in and slinging an arm around Eren’s shoulders, tugging his little brother into his side.

Eren takes a large, resentful bite of his peanut butter sandwich (nearly finishing it off), while simultaneously elbowing Zeke roughly in the ribs.

“It’s torture,” you sigh dramatically. “Better now that you’re here, though.”

Zeke snorts, quirking a brow. “My occasional appearance can’t be the only reason you’ve stuck around this long—”

Eren slips out from underneath his brother’s arm, slinking towards the loaf of fresh bread on the other side of the kitchen.

“—and twenty years is an awfully long time to put up with someone like him.”

“You’re right,”—you nod solemnly in agreement—“Eren, I think we should end it here.”

Zeke barks out a loud laugh, leaning towards you on the counter with his weight resting on his elbows. He props his scruffy chin up in his palm, smiling as he tilts his head to the side.

“C’mon kid, don’t break his heart like that! He’s been following you around like a puppy since you two were in diapers.”

Eren remains silent on the other side of the kitchen, sullenly preparing another peanut butter sandwich.

“But if I keep spending all my time with him, how am I supposed to find a boyfriend?” you pout, peeking up at Zeke through your eyelashes.

“Oh, I’m sure you have no trouble in that department,” Zeke says, a blonde brow quirking in mirth and his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “Much to my dear little brother’s dismay.”

Eren sets the jar of peanut butter down on the counter with a little too much gusto to be casual, snapping out a curt: “did you come over just to be annoying? Or is there actually a good reason you’re here?”

“Aww, baby brother,” Zeke coos, feigning hurt as he turns towards his brother and away from you. “I came to see you!”

Zeke reaches out for Eren, and the younger (but taller) Yeager son bats the elder’s hands away.

“Fuck off,” Eren grunts.

“How’d your game go on Friday?” Zeke asks, dropping the act and instead addressing his brother with his usual warmth. The eldest Yeager loves to tease, but he loves his younger brother even more. “Dad said you got a couple really solid knocks in.”

“Obviously,” Eren snorts as he rips a bite out of his second sandwich not dissimilarly to how a predator might devour their prey, his tone making it sound like it should be obvious that he played well.

There’s a reason he’s the star player on the Shiganshina U baseball team, after all.

“What are you batting these days?”

“Coach says it’s a .314 after last week's game,” Eren replies, wiping a bit of peanut butter off the corner of his mouth with his thumb before licking it clean. “More than good enough for the National U22 team scouts.”

Eren and Zeke continue to talk baseball for a while longer, and you quickly lose interest—opting instead to watch Zeke’s profile as he chats with his brother. The sharp lines of his stubbled jaw. The delicate slope of his nose. The way the afternoon sunshine soaking in through the kitchen window over the sink makes his blonde hair burn gold.

He really is just unfairly handsome.

“-right, kid?” Zeke is smiling at you as he waits for your response to a question you didn’t hear, snapping you back out of your own thoughts.

“Hm?” you hum, blinking through your confusion. “Sorry, I missed that.”

Zeke chuckles, stepping towards you and dropping a large hand atop your head to ruffle your hair.

“I said,” he draws out the word pointedly, coming to stand behind you with his hands resting on your shoulders, “as long as you’re there, Eren’s sure to impress the scouts. You’re his good luck charm, after all.”

“Long suffering good luck charm,” you make sure to tack on, tipping your head back to look up at him, the crown of your head landing against his chest. He grins down at you.

“It’s a hard job, but if anyone can do it it’s you,” Zeke says, hands squeezing your shoulders affectionately.

You suppress a shiver at the feeling of his grip. The strength of his hands.

Pitcher’s hands, once upon a time.

“If only it wasn’t so thankless,” you sigh, feigning sorrow. You risk a peek at Eren on the other side of the kitchen from the corner of your eye, and see he’s glowering at you and Zeke’s friendly exchange.

“Oh, c’mon,” Zeke laughs, dipping down and pressing a quick, prickly kiss to your cheek. The feeling of his stubble brushing against your smooth skin makes blood rush to your head. “You know you’re this family’s favourite child. Eren would probably be in prison by now if it weren’t for your positive influence.”

Judging by the positively murderous look in Eren’s eyes as Zeke pulls away, incarceration still isn’t entirely off the table.

“Speaking of children and families,”—Zeke stands up straight and steps away from you, much to your dismay—"where are Mister and Misses Yeager?”

“Dad has that conference in Trost this week,” Eren says, his arms crossed over his chest in a way that makes their toned musculature much more evident than his baggy t-shirt betrays. “Left this morning.”

He’s talking to his brother, but his eyes are on you.

“Ah, Carla went with him?” Zeke asks curiously.

“Yep.”

“Home alone for the week, huh?” Zeke sidles up towards his brother again, poking him in the side. “You sure you don’t need me to come babysit you?”

“There’s nothing I’d hate more,” Eren says, his nose scrunching in disgust.

“Aw, little brother,” Zeke clasps a hand to his chest in mock-hurt. He sighs, glancing back at you over his shoulder. “At least I know you’ll make sure he doesn’t burn the place down, right kid?”

He winks at you.

“I’ll try my very best,” you smile cheekily. “My babysitting fees are pretty steep though.”

“Oh yeah?” Zeke quirks a brow, turning towards you on the opposite side of the counter, leaning forward on his elbows once more. “What’s the going rate these days?”

“Hmmm…”—you tap a finger to your chin in mock contemplation—“Eren’s got a game on Wednesday night. Come keep me company in the stands.”

Zeke laughs, pushing himself up onto his hands.

“You think that’s a steep price?” Zeke teases. “I know a hundred guys who’d pay for the chance to sit next to you at a game.”

“And lucky you, you get to do it for free,” you say chipperly.

“Lucky me indeed,” Zeke agrees with a nod, chuckling. “You don’t drive a very hard bargain, you know.”

“What can I say?” you shrug, utterly indifferent to the fact. Pleased by it even. “I’m not much of a businesswoman.”

Zeke opens his mouth to reply when Eren interrupts.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

You and Zeke both look at him in surprise.

His eyes are on his brother, his expression flat.

Zeke hides a laugh behind his closed fist.

“I do actually,” he replies, “I’m coaching little league tonight.”

Zeke peeks over at the clock hanging on the other side of the kitchen.

“I better head over to the field, now that you mention it.”

You watch sadly as Zeke makes his way over to the back door and prepares to leave. You and Eren both follow.

“Call if you need anything while Dad and Carla are outta town, alright?” Zeke says to his brother once he’s pulled his boots on once more.

Eren makes some sort of noncommittal grunt, shrugging as he leans against the archway into the back entryway.

“Have fun at practice, Coach,” you chirp, sneaking up behind Eren and poking your head out from behind his broad shoulders. “Go warriors!"

Zeke smiles, shaking his head.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday,” Zeke says, eyes sliding from you to his little brother. He reaches out and knocks his fist against Eren’s chest affectionately. “Both of you.”

You wiggle your fingers in a wave as Zeke disappears through the door, slipping out of sight.

You and Eren stand there until you hear the door of Zeke’s truck slam shut and the telltale rumble as the old engine roars to life.

You’re pinned flat against the wall before the old truck even makes it out of the Yeager’s driveway, with Eren’s mouth pressed—hot and messy and greedy—to yours.

You can still taste the lingering sweetness of peanut butter on his tongue.

“I hate it when you do that,” Eren whines, his teeth biting into your bottom lip. Biting, not nipping. Pinching down hard enough to hurt.

You make a little noise of complaint, squirming beneath the pressure of his broad, toned body and the equally firm surface of the wall.

Eren pulls back after a few more moments of kissing you like he’s taking it from you, his chest heaving and a viscid string of spit joining his swollen lips to yours.

“That hurt,” you complain, scrubbing at your mouth with the back of your hand. “You bit me.”

“You deserve more than a bite after that performance,” Eren counters, his eyes narrowed resentfully. “You might as well have hopped up on the counter and spread your legs for him right there. Might’ve been a little more subtle.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. You duck out from underneath Eren’s arm as it’s pressed against the wall beside your head, stepping back towards the kitchen.

“Me?” Eren guffaws. “You just spent the past twenty minutes drooling over my brother and I’m the idiot?”

“Your brother’s hot,” you say with a shrug, tossing an indifferent glance at him over your shoulder. “Can you blame me?”

Eren’s jaw sets, a rigid line as this teeth clench tight. His green eyes swim with spite.

“You’re kinda being a brat, y’know that?”

“Don’t be so jealous, Eren,” you say, your nose scrunching up in distaste. “It’s not a good look on you.”

You turn around again, a smug little smirk curling up at the corner of your lips that he can’t see with your back turned to him.

Eren’s arms are around your waist in an instant, and you’re flat on your back on the kitchen counter in the next. Eren’s hand behind the crown of your head makes sure your skull doesn’t crack painfully into the marble countertop, but it’s still cold and hard underneath you as you’re sprawled across it like a rag doll. Eren’s mouth finds yours again in another hungry, domineering kiss.

“God, how do you know exactly how to piss me off?” Eren rasps against your mouth, dragging you down the counter by the belt loops so he can grind his hips into yours.

He’s as hard as the counter underneath you.

Your breath hitches in your throat, a moan caught just behind the air.

You could answer his question. You could tell him that you've had two decades to practice and perfect the skill. You could tell him you got so good at it because you know how much he likes it. But you're too distracted as Eren’s hands slip up underneath your t-shirt, pawing at whatever skin has the misfortune of falling into his grip. His hips roll against yours again, and he grabs you by the waist to pull you down into the motion, and this time you really do moan as the tip of his cock ruts against the seam of your jeans—the pressure just enough to stimulate your aching clit.

“What would my big brother would think if he knew why you really spend all your time over here?” Eren mutters, dragging his lips along your jaw, his panting breaths tickle your neck as he mouths at the impossibly sensitive patch of skin just below your ear. The one he knows drives you crazy, in just the way he knows you like so much. “What would he think if he heard the way you beg me to fuck you?”

You gasp as Eren’s teeth bite down into your neck, fleeting but firm, your hands tangling in his half-tied hair and tugging at the soft brown strands. You pull him off your neck, and he meets your gaze with half-lidded, lust-filled eyes. His neck strains at the angle you’re tilting his head back, his prominent adams apple bobbing as he swallows thickly.

“I don’t beg,” you whisper breathily, but you're not sure how much truth there is to the words if history is anything to go by.

Eren smiles, the softness juxtaposed to the ragged breaths you’re both wracked by. The tenderness contrasted by the harsh pang of arousal in your gut.

“We’ll see about that.”

Eren tosses you over his shoulder and carries you up to his bedroom on the second floor like you weigh nothing. Eren’s build doesn’t betray how strong he really is—years of training and conditioning befitting of a varsity athlete hiding under the baggy hoodies and joggers he lives in everyday. It’s not the first time he’s done this to you, in fact he seems to enjoy making a show of his own strength, but it is perhaps the roughest he’s ever been as he tosses you down atop his unmade bed, crawling promptly onto the mattress atop you.

He pins your wrists down to the mattress, his hips straddling yours to confine your lower half in a similar way.

He’s so much bigger than you are; no matter how much you wiggle underneath him, there’s no chance of you slipping free.

Not that you particularly want to.

“Did you like teasing me like that?” Eren groans, grinding himself down into you and leaving you with no choice but to take it.

“I wasn’t t-teasing you,” you stutter over the words you both know string together and form a lie, your head spinning from how good it feels to have his whole weight pressed against you like this.

“You were,” Eren counters. “You flirt with Zeke just to get under my skin. To try and rile me up.”

You pant up at him, your heartbeat hammering in your chest.

“Did it work?” you ask breathlessly.

Eren’s lashes flutter, a little huff of air that’s not quite a laugh nor a sigh slipping from his swollen lips. He takes your hand in his—much larger, and rougher than your own—and guides it down to the swell in his sweatpants. Beneath the soft cotton you can feel his cock, hard and throbbing under your touch.

Eren’s hips jump slightly when you palm a little firmer against the shape of him of your own volition. His breathing is ragged when he fixes you in his stare, his green eyes burning with want that’s catching, like a fire consuming anything in its path.

“It always does, doesn’t it?”

You smile a little to yourself, and Eren leans down and kisses you again—it’s sweeter this time, a little needier than before. He’s kissing you like he’s asking for something rather than taking it at will.

“Strip,” he grunts, pulling back slightly and tugging hastily at the material of your top.

You look up at him through heavy lidded eyes, the boy you’ve known all your life flushed down to his neck as he watches you just as carefully as you do him. You brush a little piece of hair that hangs down over his eyes back, fingertips ghosting against the shell of his ear as you tuck the tendril behind it.

“Do it yourself,” you chirp, your lips quirking at the corner.

The fire in Eren’s eyes burns brighter, and the cycle, as ever, starts anew.

You fight, you fuck, and then you go back to being whatever the hell the two of you are—and have been all your lives—until the same wheel spins again and brings you back around to the beginning.

And come Wednesday you find yourself in the stands at Eren’s game, as usual; his long-suffering good luck charm with his jersey on your frame, and his teethmarks pressed into your skin underneath it.

Zeke sits beside you, glancing at you occasionally from the corner of his eye. He spies some evidence of just what the two of you have been up to in the days since he saw you last, but says nothing, laughing to himself at the strange dynamic the two of you have. He’s long stopped questioning it—or the role he occasionally plays as a pawn in your unusual game.

You watch Eren step up to the plate, bat in hand, and you can’t help but appreciate how nicely his tailored uniform fits his body. Can’t help but think about what you know he looks like underneath it. Can’t help but think about the promise he made to you just that morning, fucking you over the bathroom counter at his house, his lips pressed to your ear.

“The only thing you’re gonna be able to think about tonight when you’re sitting next to my brother at my game is how hard I made you cum on my cock.”

You can't help but think he's made good on it.

The pitcher at the mound in the centre of the field winds up, and you feel the palpable anticipation crackling through the stands. It’s eager and visceral, like a collectively held breath.

At home base, Eren lifts his bat. He wiggles his fingers, a ritual he always does, before his hands tighten around the grip.

You swallow thickly, your heartbeat thumping in your throat.

The bat cracks against the ball in a clean hit that sends the spectators into a roar, and Eren takes off running to first base, then to second. As he rounds his way to third, you spot the almost feral grin on his face because he knows he’s going to make it home. His eyes, though you can’t quite make out the green from such a distance, find yours in the stands.

You clench your thighs together in your seat.

Beside you, Zeke laughs, slumping back into his seat almost incredulously.

Like he just can’t believe his little brother’s luck.

#eren x reader #eren x you #eren yeager x you #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager #aot fic #aot drabble #aot writing #writing

2K notes · View notes

seeingivy · 9 months

Text

the third act

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

an: my eyes are burning, my wrists hurt, my head is pounding. this ended up at 14k. i hate how i wrote this chapter but enjoy yall juice.

songs/media referenced: jessica chastain and oscar isacc on the red carpet, because I liked a boy by sabrina carpenter, look what you made me do by taylor swift (++ music video), and the grudge by olivia rodrigo

previous part linked here

You stand nervously on the porch, rubbing your sweaty hands against the pleats of your dress, as you ring the doorbell, the anticipation of the door swinging open making your stomach turn over in waves.

And without a beat, Grisha and Carla are opening and standing by the door, bright smiles on their faces as they welcome you in. Carla opens her arms first and all but tackles you in the hug, the warm smell of vanilla permeating off of her skin. And Grisha, who has always been more awkward like Eren, gives you a soft squeeze on the shoulder as you hand them the flowers, and shuffle in.

You note all the pictures on the wall - Eren and Zeke swimming in a pool, Grisha and Carla’s wedding, one of all four of them hugging - as you finally spot Eren, settled on the couch with Zeke. He immediately turns his head and gives you a bright smile, all but jumping up to greet you.

Eren takes your hands in his and squeezes three times, knowing all too well of your nerves.

Of having dinner with his family, who you’ve known since you were fifteen, but as their son's girlfriend for the first time.

“Hey. You look pretty.”

“Thanks, Eren. You too.”

He curls his nose at the compliment as he wraps his arms around you, pulling back to tuck your hair behind your ear. You squeeze back and muster your best, most confident smile for him in response.

Carla calls you from the kitchen and he gives you a soft smile as he beckons you to join her, returning to his spot on the couch between Grisha and Zeke. You take her side - she’s snipping the stems off the flowers you brought in - as you lean against the counter, eyes focused on Eren.

“Thank you for the flowers. How have you been, Y/N?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Doing good, sweetheart. We’re really excited to come see your show tomorrow, Eren has been going on and on about how amazing you are in concert.”

You feel your cheeks burn at the compliment as you wave her off, turning around to hand her the vase.

“I’m really glad you’re all coming. It’ll be nice to see everyone again. It-it feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”

“You have Levi to thank for that. Of course, he casts me in a show with my son just to kill me off in the first episode.” she remarks, a soft laugh falling out of her mouth.

“Levi is a sadist. For killing you off in the first episode AND for making us such a big part of that scene.” you respond.

Eren suddenly storms out of the room, heavy footsteps running up the stairs, as Grisha starts laying into Zeke at his side. You turn to your side and watch Carla’s face fall, her hands clutched on the crystal vase.

“He’s also a sadist for casting Zeke and Eren as estranged brothers.” you murmur.

Carla gives you a smile, albeit one that doesn’t meet her eyes, as she turns to your side, her hand giving your cheek a pinch.

“Eren and Zeke. They-they’re just both sensitive. And there’s a lot of hurt there, for Eren especially. He likes to bury it down deep, argue when he knows he can’t hold his own.”

“I know it’s a touchy subject. He only brings Zeke up when he’s really hurt.”

Like during Historia’s scandal.

“I’ll go check on him. He just needs a little talking to.” she responds, making her move to walk past.

“Can I? Check on him?”

She turns, giving you a smile and tucks your stray hairs behind your ears. Like mother, like son.

“You’re sweet. Sure, his room is the first one up the stairs, to the left.”

You give her a smile and walk up the stairs, making your best effort to be quiet as you pad up the stairs past Zeke and Grisha, who are still arguing in hushed tones on the couch.

You press a light knock on the wood as you push the door open, to find Eren lying on his bed, face turned towards the windows. He’s sitting in the dark, but the lights of the city below are enough to illuminate the room brightly through his big, glass windows.

You lean onto the bed and drape one of your arms around him, your chin resting on his shoulder as you look at him. At his dimples, his freckles, and his green eyes filled with tears. Angry, hurt tears.

“Hi Eren.” you whisper.

A weighted sigh leaves his chest.

You reach forward and swipe the sole tear off his face, before pressing a kiss to his cheek. And squeeze his shoulders - your secret signal that you’re here and you’ve got him - as he nods, turning over to your side.

“You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

He pouts, reaching forward to pinch the softness on your cheek.

“Not really.” he whispers, his voice straining in his throat.

“Okay. Well, quit pinching. You’re ruining my makeup.”

A soft smile spreads across his face at your annoyance as he brings his other hand up, now squishing both of his cheeks in his hands as he pushes them together. He’s laughing lightly, at your voice all jumbled from the squishing.

“St-stop.”

He lets go and abruptly stands up, grabbing your hand as he pulls you up to the window, the little people walking the streets of New York City beneath you two. And then all of a sudden he has his arms wrapped around you from behind, his cold face on your neck as he buries his skin into yours.

“Eren. We should go back down soon, your mom and dad are probably waiting.” you murmur.

“I don’t want to go. We can just stay up here and I’ll just tell them I was too upset.”

“But I want to see them. They invited me over as….you know. I-I don’t want them to think I’m just messing around.”

“You can say the word girlfriend, Y/N. You’re my girlfriend. And they’ve always liked you. Calm down.”

He presses a kiss to your neck, the city lights mirroring on his face as you look at him in the reflection of the glass. You’re both quiet as you watch the cars pass, the honking sounds almost muted as they reach your ears.

“I-I wanted this to be nice for you. Your family was so nice to me when I visited and Coco had all those games he wanted to play with me lined up, I just- I don’t want you to think they don’t care about you.”

“I know they care, Eren. And I know that stuff with Zeke is complicated, but you-you shouldn't get so worked up over it on my behalf. I understand.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want you to feel like we’re all soulless and that there isn’t any love in the room. Your house is so warm and I love it there. I want you to love it here too.”

You turn around in his arms, hands flat against his chest, as you look at his tired eyes, expectantly looking at yours.

“Eren. There’s so much love in the room.”

He sighs, pressing you into his arms into a hug, as he murmurs into your hair.

“Point it out to me. I’ve always had a problem noticing it.” he murmurs.

You smile against his shoulder, recounting it all.

“Your parents opened the door without a beat. Meaning…they were waiting by the door for me to show up. Because they were that excited for me, your….you know, was coming over. And-and they have all these framed baby pictures of you up, all these little memories hanging in your house. They’re all coming to the show tomorrow and-and your mom called me sweetheart, which just makes my heart tingle because she’s your mom and she said that to me, you know?”

“She’s not special. I call you sweetheart, too.” he deadpans.

“But she’s your mom, Eren! It’s special to me that she calls me that, that she likes me. You love her so much, I want her to love me too. To trust me with your heart of all people, when…when there are so many fish in the sea. To want me as her daughter and not anyone else.” you murmur, whispering out the last part so it's almost unintelligible.

He hums against your hair, his hug only getting tighter as he lifts his hands to cradle the back of your head and angle it up, so that you’re looking at him. He’s staring so intently, his eyes so wide that it sends a shiver down your spine.

“What are you thinking?” you whisper.

“About the love in the room. It’s in the palm of my hands right now.” he says, squishing your cheeks in his hands again.

You roll your eyes in response as you shrug out of his hold, only to pinch his cheeks this time.

“I find it ridiculous that you can’t refer to yourself as my girlfriend BUT you can full on admit that you want to be my parents' daughter in law.”

“Shut up. You’re so annoying sometimes.”

He smiles as he wraps his arms around you again, his laugh filling up your ears. And Grisha and Carla push the door open - clearly to check on Eren - and suddenly they’re both giving you warm smiles and thumbs up before shutting the door again, satisfied with the fact that Eren was nestled into your arms and laughing. That he wasn’t angry and wound up anymore.

You feel a hand on your shoulder, shrugging you out of your slumber, only to find Falco - wide blue eyes staring into yours as you try to gain your bearings.

“Huh, what?”

“Sorry.” he responds, a sheepish smile on his face.

You place your hand directly on his face and slam him back down onto his pillow, pushing out a great string of profanities at him as you do.

“What’s your problem? Can’t let a girl sleep?”

“Hey! I was doing you a favor.”

“Yeah, thanks for being a pain in my ass.”

He frowns, reaching forward to smack your cheek as you start smacking his hand off, the two of you play fighting in the tangled sheets of your bed.

“You’re always so annoying, Falco. Get out of my room.”

“You were saying his name in your sleep! I just wanted to wake you up in case you were sad!”

You both pause in the air, your raised hands releasing at the mention of him, like a bad omen was whispered into the air. You give him a tight lipped smile as you nod, leaning back onto the plush of your pillows as he joins you, your pair of eyes focused on the dark ceiling above.

It’s Falco’s night to sleep with you. They all take turns - Colt, your parents, Falco - because more often than not, there’s something haunting your dreams. It’s the fight you two had outside the house before he left. It’s Connie crying. The camera smashing. And when you can’t will yourself to sleep, every shred of self-preservation goes out the window and you end up on social media.

Scrolling through pages and pages of the same thing. Of the interview, of how you made an entire career off of people who were more famous than you, of how you had to be the one on top.

How you were a homewrecker, a slut, not pretty enough to be a lead, an overrated popstar, who didn’t write her own music, who could barely keep her own in a role, who at your core, was nothing at all.

Falco’s hand curls around yours under the sheets, warm and soft, as you turn and place your free hand in his hair, carding your fingers through the tresses of his hair.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Falco?”

“Can I say something really messed up?”

“Please.” you respond, fighting the smile on your face.

He smiles as he turns his face towards you, the pillow deflating under the weight of his head.

“I know everything that happened sucked, like literally every person on the internet making fun of you and all the interviews and people commenting on your looks and-”

“Get to the point.” you deadpan.

“I’m glad you were home for the past few months. And indefinitely too, not like you had somewhere else to run off to.” he murmurs.

You press your temples against the pillows, his words hanging in the air as they twist into something unruly in your chest.

Another one of your regrets - leaving your family out here alone, prioritizing your career over them. His words keep company with every other mistake you’ve ever made.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you even done anything right.

“I’m sorry, Falco. I-I’m going to come right back after the awards show. And I’m not going to take any roles or concerts and stuff at all after that. I-I need time to just be here and rest after…everything.”

“Good. You’ll finally have time to learn Rocket League properly.” he responds, smiling.

You take the spare pillow and smack it across his face, eliciting a laugh from him as he lifts his own and returns the favor.

“It’s a stupid game. I refuse to play it.”

“That’s just because you suck. And plus, I can carry you. That’s what I had to do with Eren too and he was worse than you.”

He immediately backtracks.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Falco. He was important to you like was to me too. You-you can bring him up.”

You’re both quiet again, the thought of him on the forefront of both of your minds.

“You know he said he considered me a brother? That we weren’t just friends, that we were like family.” he whispers, tears in his eyes.

“Falco.” you murmur.

“Sorry. I-I know that that…this entire thing is worse for you than it is for me. But I just-”

“No. He-he made you part of it too, Falco. It-it’s okay to feel sad about it.”

“I just don’t understand why, Y/N. Who does all that stuff? Is being famous really all that?”

“To some people. I-I guess it’s all he’s ever known, you know? His parents were famous, his brother was famous…it makes sense that it means so much to him. He-he doesn’t care about the things we do.”

“I-I don’t like not talking to him. I….I really did think of him as my brother you know.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter. You have a real brother.” Colt says, shuffling into the room and face planting Falco into the mattress.

You both laugh as he flops onto the bed, clearly woken up by both of your talking.

“Yeah, well you’re annoying. He said I was cool.” Falco responds.

“He’s always had a horrible lack of judgment. First, for liking you. Second, for entertaining any of your crap for a second.” Colt says, pointing at the two of you as you frown at him.

“Jokes on you, Colt. He didn’t even like me.” you respond, matter of factly.

“That wasn’t the burn you thought it was.” Falco murmurs, eliciting laughs from both you and Colt.

You scooch to the side and open the space to your left as Colt climbs under the covers, leaving you nestled between the two of them as you all argue over blanket hogging before falling asleep.

You stand by the door as you watch the five of them trudge out of the car, an instant and harsh reminder of the entire life you lived, the one you’re about to be perpetually stuck in again, refreshing in your mind. Of the pain you’ve buried quiet and deep, suddenly raw.

It’s easy to pretend like it didn’t happen - when you’re at home and you turn your phone off. When Colt makes fun of you and Falco forces you to play board games with him, getting so irrationally mad whenever you win.

When you can pretend like he doesn’t exist. That you’re not famous and that no one knows your name, that this is all you’ve ever known. Board games, family dinners, the patch of grass in the backyard under your fingertips.

But when Danny, Sareen, Sukuna, Historia, and Jean are walking up the pavement, smiles on all of their faces illuminated by the moonlight, albeit not full ones, you know the small bubble you’ve sheltered yourself in for the past three months is going to shatter.

And you’re going to be in the thick of it.

Danny and Sareen reach you first, both planting a kiss on your cheek before sliding in, dragging their bags behind them. They spare no greeting, which you’re sure is no thanks to the grave you’ve been digging for yourself.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Jean.” you respond, mustering your best smile as he opens up his arms and pushes you into a hug, hands rubbing up and down your arms.

“You good?”

“Trying to be.”

He gives you a smile as he pulls back, his eyes soft as he looks at you.

“Mika misses you. She’s very annoyed at your whole vow of silence, never leaving my house, hermit crab thing. You could at least respond to the Tik Toks she sends you.”

“Sorry, I- I don’t mean to-”

“Y/N. I’m just joking.” he says, tone soft as he gives you a smile.

“I miss her too. Why isn’t she here?”

“Danny and Sareen think her hysterics aren’t conducive to the situation. I agree.” he responds, giving your shoulder a squeeze as he follows in.

Sukuna makes his way over next, hands fixed behind his back as he gives you a smile. And the fact that he’s already hiding whatever it is behind his back, is enough to piss you off.

“Hi doll.”

“Hi pervert. Why are your hands behind your back?” you mutter, rolling your eyes at him.

“Got a gift for you.”

“Is it a sex toy? Because I’m about to get you registered as a sex offender if you think you’re being funny.”

“Unfortunately, not.”

He removes his hands from his back and holds it in front of you - a tub of ice cream with your name scribbled on the top.

“Really, Sukuna? I thought you wouldn’t buy me ice cream if he stopped texting me.”

He sighs, giving you a hug - which feels awkward coming from him - before pulling back and fixing the hair hanging by your shoulders.

“He did worse than that, doll.” he says, placing the tub in your hands as he walks past where Jean’s calling him.

Which leaves Historia - who you haven’t talked to in years besides three pestering phone calls, the last one being the only reason you’re even letting any of them shatter your bubble right now - staring at you, with her bright, blue eyes.

“You look horrible.” Historia states, matter of factly.

You snort.

“Never one to coddle, were you?”

“Nope.” she responds, smiling as she links her arms with yours and presses a kiss to your cheek as you walk in. You feel warm at the fact that she came all this way, that she’s standing by your side as you brace the wolves. If you can even get yourself that far.

You settle in at the table as the five of them talk in scattered conversations - Danny and Sareen talking about stylists, Sukuna and Falco arguing about god knows what, Colt and Jean talking in hushed tones.

You take a deep breath as you slide into the seats across from Danny and Sareen, ready to face the wrath of ignoring them for three months, of letting interviews and podcasts and everything in between go on and on without making any effort to defend your name. And forsaken the years they’ve poured into your career without a second thought.

“We should have reached out to Historia and told her to call you earlier. Didn’t realize it would be this easy to rile you up.” Danny states, sliding a folder over to you.

“Wasn’t that easy. I-I’m still on the fence about going out there again and all that.” you respond, as Jean and Sukuna take the seats next to them, Jean’s foot finds yours under the table and he gives you a light tap as he smiles at you

You give him a smile back, his small move of reassurance helping ease your nerves in the room. Historia must sense them too because suddenly her hand is in yours under the table, cracking each of the knuckles in your fingers.

“You don’t want to defend your name? At all?” Sareen asks, an irritated tone falling out of her mouth.

“I don’t think I’m strong enough for that. There’s so much they’ll ask, so much they’ve already said that I don’t think-”

“That’s all the more reason to do it. He’s talked over you for months now, he does one interview and then all his little minions make it a point to bring you up in some way or another after it.” Danny states.

“I know that. I just think-”

You pause, the frustrations, the signals in your head getting worked up. You’ve thought about it all, long and hard. And every feeling of hurt, every memory of the past seven years gets tangled up in it. And you can’t decide.

There’s so many reasons to do it. To embarrass Eren the way he embarrassed you, to drag his name through the mud the way he so callously did yours. To whatever shred of humanity is still in him, to make it ache, to hurt him in the one place you know it’ll stick. Take the one thing he cares about - his fame - away from him.

But there’s so many reasons not to. Why would you embarrass Eren the way he embarrassed you? How does that make you any better than him? There is no part of you that can relish in hurting him. When you still love him.

“It’s complicated, that’s all. And….and it’s Eren, this type of thing isn’t easy for me.”

“Y/N.”

You turn your head to Historia, tilting your head expectantly to the side as you wait for her to talk. Her hands are soft on your shoulders, squeezing lightly as she talks.

“That’s not your Eren.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Eren you’re talking about. The one you’ve been in love with since you’re fifteen. He-he isn’t that guy anymore. He’s not the one who encourages you to be better, who pushes you out of your comfort zone, who writes love songs on pianos with you. He-I don’t know what happened to him. But don’t mix up the two.”

“Historia.”

“He may look, sound, even smell and feel like the Eren you knew. But that’s not who he is. We’ve known Eren forever. Would he really smash that camera? Would the guy you love do something like that to Armin?”

You pale. The smashed pieces of the camera are still a gut punch. And you know Armin has yet to buy a new one, his own feelings mixed up in his hurt as well.

“Don’t mix them up, Y/N. He let Connie do drugs. And let Connie come back too, when he knew what happened.”

You and Armin put all of your energy into getting Connie out of there, only for him to return to that godforsaken set a week later. And any efforts the two of you had to stop him were only met with the harshest words back.

You can’t tell what’s worse. Eren breaking your heart the way he did or Connie being so unwilling to accept your help, that he’d insult you both to get you out of his hair. That Connie was already that far gone. That Eren let him get there.

“Y/N. He-he’s really not the same anymore. And he hasn’t been for a while. I think even you know that. And it’s time for you to let him go. To stop protecting him and start thinking about you.” Jean says, hands folded over the table.

“You’re really going to let him do this? Drag your name in the mud? Because everything you’ve done is a result of your hard work. You’re the one who acted in the show, you’re the one who wrote all those albums on your own, back to back with-with no break, Y/N. You’ve poured your blood, sweat, and tears into this. He doesn’t get to take that away from you.” Historia says, words laced with venom.

You turn your head to Sukuna, the only person who's been uncharacteristically quiet this entire time.

“Any advice for me?” you ask, the tone hopeful.

“You’re a smart girl. Think hard on what you think you should do. Quit looking to us for answers.”

You roll your eyes at him, dissatisfied with his always vague answers.

“I’m on your side whatever you do, doll.” he counters.

“Sleep on it. We’re here tomorrow morning, whatever you decide.” Sareen and Danny state, definitively.

You give Danny and Sareen a smile as your parents show them to their rooms down the hall, Colt and Falco dragging the two boys up the stairs. Much to Falco’s dismay, Sukuna has taken too much of a liking to Falco and is insisting that Jean sleep with Falco and not Colt. (Falco’s scared of Sukuna and is sweating at the thought of sharing a bed with him.)

You take Historia to your room, her bag dragging behind her as you point out the bathroom to her. She gives you a smile and pads out twenty minutes later, her head wrapped in a sock.

“Nice hair, George Washington.”

“Shut up. They’re heatless curls. And I’m shocked you even know who that is considering you always sucked in history.” she responds, giving the walls one look before crawling into the sheets with you. You quickly shut the light off, everyone’s thoughts from earlier ruminating through your head.

Her hand finds its way to yours under the bed, giving yours a squeeze as she lets a sigh out.

“The empty spots on the wall?” Historia asks.

“Yeah. I-I came back and his face was everywhere. It kept making me cry.” you respond.

She shuffles to her side, head facing yours as you mimic her motions.

“Armin told me what he said. You know, I really do mean that he’s not the guy you were in love with.”

You swallow hard, thinking back to Eren on the beach, how that was your Eren. About how wrong they all are.

The waves crash in the distance as the stars glitter above, your head resting against Eren’s lap. His hands are in your hair, one of his favorite places for his hands to be, as you both watch the waves rise and fall in the periphery.

“Up.”

You look up at him, as his eyes looking down at yours.

“Am I a cavewoman? What happened to please? Oh Y/N, sweetheart, please sit up.”

He rolls his eyes as he brings his hands down from his hair to your cheeks, his fingers soft on your skin.

“Y/N.” he says, drawing out the syllables with a voice so sweet it makes your cheeks burn.

“Huh?”

“Sweet, sweet love of my life. Please sit up. I want to look at your pretty eyes, your sweet, perfect face, and hold it in my hands.” he says, a smile on his face.

You can feel your face turning what you’re sure is red as you scramble up and Eren readjusts so you’re closer to him, your face in his hands. And then he’s looking into your eyes for so long, the moon shining bright on his face, that you see his eyes are filling with tears.

“Eren?”

“Not crying. It’s the salt air.” he sniffles, eyes pained.

“It’s okay if you are. I-I just want to know why.” you whisper.

“Nothing. You’re just here with me, after so long. I-I just missed you a lot that I’m still feeling like I miss you. Preemptively, for when you’ll leave next.”

You smile as you shuffle into his arms, resting your head against his as you run your hands through his hair now.

“I missed you too. I’m not going anywhere, so don’t worry about that.”

You feel him tense under your touch, his arms around yours squeezing you harder.

“Y/N.” he says, tone in his voice warning.

“No, Eren. I-I’m staying. I made the mistake of leaving you once already and I-I learned my lesson.”

He pulls back only to pull you in for a kiss, so deep that you can almost feel it. The longing, the same one you’ve shared pouring out of him and into you. It’s strong enough to bring tears to your eyes.

“Anywhere, huh?” he says, a deep sigh leaving his chest.

“You’ll have to drag me out by my hair if you want me gone. You-you’re stuck to me, Eren.”

“Okay, sweetheart. You’re stuck to me too. I wouldn’t want you anywhere else.” he responds, half smiling.

And when he pulls you in for a kiss this time, it goes further. His hands are hovering over your heart, your hips, all over your body.

You remember what happened next. And that the sweetness before was only a precursor for that. And it stings, so hard, the betrayal sitting so deep that you have angry tears in your eyes.

He isn’t your Eren. Or maybe Eren just isn’t who you thought he was.

“You’re right. I-I’m going to do it.” you say, giving her your most confident smile, even though you’re both confined to the dark.

“Good. I’m by your side, however you want me to help. It would be a gut punch to everyone if I was the one helping you, considering their one proof that you’re a self-absorbed pedestal climber is that you stopped being friends with me.”

She’s broached the elephant in the room. The one that’s been bothering you for years, but even more so since she was the one who called you first.

After months of radio silence.

“Historia.”

“Yes?”

“Why did we stop being friends?”

She pauses, realizing her mistake all too fast.

“We didn’t stop being friends, Y/N-”

“No. I want to know and you’re going to tell me. Quit being so bitchy about this entire thing because you’ve actually hurt me more than you think. You owe me this.” you respond.

The silence hangs in the air.

“Did you listen to lacy, Y/N?” she whispers.

“Yeah. I texted you about it, it was really good.” you respond.

“Did you understand it?”

You pause.

“I think so.”

“Then you should understand.”

“Historia.”

She sits up in the dark and you follow suit, both of you sitting crisscrossed in front of each other, the thickness in the room sitting heavy.

“Look. Do you remember that line? In season two? I’m the worst girl who ever lived?”

“Yeah.”

“Levi and Hange didn’t write that line. I-I just said it. And if you really want to know why we aren’t friends, why I couldn’t stand you, it-it’s because I’m horrible. And it’s fucking embarssing that I am. I seriously am the worst girl who ever lived.”

You reach for her hand, locking it in with yours.

“You’re not horrible.”

“I am. I just- I couldn’t stand you, Y/N. You were perfect. You were pretty, you were nice, you were kind - there was no reason to hate you. You were a natural at acting. You wrote your first song and it was a fucking hit. Then you had a best selling album, a sold out tour. And on top of all of it, you weren’t some soulless popstar.”

“You had those things too.”

“You had a relatively normal childhood, before you willingly came into this. You have brothers who would die for you, friends who adore you, Levi and Hange basically treat you like you’re their kid, and you had Eren. You got love right on the first try.”

You swallow hard.

“I-I’m not trying to throw the Eren thing in your face. I-I just mean. You got to love someone in the open. Everyone praised you guys for it. There wasn’t any shame, there wasn’t any hurt, you and Eren just got to be together.”

And then you realize it. There wasn’t any shame.

“Historia. Is it because-”

“You know how fucking heart wrenching it is to have all these big feelings for Ymir and have to swallow them down because I want to have a fucking career? Watch her walk away because I’m too embarrassed to love her in the open but she isn’t embarrassed of me back? How agitating was it to watch you throw away what you had with Eren after I had to do that just because I’m gay and you can’t be gay if you want what we do?”

You wrap your arms around her, stifling her sobs into your shoulder as she cries, chest heaving.

“You just pissed me off because you did the same thing I did. Even when I told you to be better, both of you. And then it became this big thing in my head, so big that I didn’t even know what was happening.”

“Historia, I’m not mad at you.”

“See, that’s the thing. I stopped fucking talking to you and you wrote dorothea, about how you’d always have a spot open for me even though I don’t fucking deserve it. I’m over here talking about how jealous I am of you when people have ridiculed you for years, like you weren’t tired out of your fucking mind when you were doing all that, like you didn’t lose Eren too, like people didn’t strip you of everything you’ve done and embarass you for the past few months..”

“It’s okay, we all do that and-”

“You did nothing wrong. But it still hurt me. I-I’m the worst, Y/N. We-we were sisters and I did this.”

“Historia. Shut the fuck up for like two seconds. This is what being sisters is.”

“Huh?” she says, teary eyes wide as you reach forward and swipe her tears away.

“Siblings, sisters. They-they tear you apart. You tear me apart just as much as I do you, Historia. I adore you but you make me feel ashamed sometimes, because I’m not as cool as you. You make me feel so lonely but you’re the only person I want to be around. And when you’re around me, I want to cry because I love you so much. Sometimes you irritate me so much I want to strangle you for being stupid. I want to be just like you but I hate it when people compare us. You’re the only reason I have confidence right now but I want to cry when I think about us when we were little because we used to giggle about stupid shit before going to bed.”

“Y/N.” she says, weary tears spilling out of her eyes.

“Why do you think I picked up your phone after you didn’t talk to me for months? Why are you sleeping in my bed next to me right now? Every shitty feeling you have about me is one I’ve had too, maybe even worse than yours. That’s what makes you my sister - not some do good, feel good shit that’s perfect. Being siblings, being sisters - we’re stuck together. Despite all the shitty, despite all the bad, there’s deep good. Which is why you’re here. Which is why I'm letting you be. So quit feeling sorry for yourself for like two seconds and just shut up.”

Historia nods, sinking into your arms again as you run your hands through her hair, rubbing small circles into her back.

You lost Eren. But you got Historia back. Everything you lose is a step you take.

“Y/N. You really hate me too sometimes?”

“Sometimes?” you repeat, sarcasm dripping from your voice.

“Bitch.”

You both laugh, too hard that you’re both smiling so hard it hurts.

“You’re really annoying. You couldn't even text me after I wrote dorothea to say you liked it? And what the fuck is skin like puff pastry? I use La Roche Posay, my skin isn’t even that dry anymore.”

“Okay. You just had to write the most high ground, mature ass song about me. You couldn’t write some fucking diss track about how I’m ugly?”

“I’m not you. I don’t make fun of people for having dry skin.” you respond, the two of you lying flat against the sheets.

You both talk into the night, only until Sukuna yells at you both to shut the fuck up, do you go to sleep. It’s your first night without a nightmare. And when you wake up, you’ve decided.

It’s time to take back your name.

You sit in the plane, rubbing your nervous hands against the seats of the plane, as you watch the city get smaller below you, your house somewhere in the expanse getting left far behind. Revenge sits heavy on your mind. Jean nudges you with his elbow, giving you a half-hearted smile.

“Mikasa might kiss you straight on the mouth when she sees you again. Out of respect for my future marriage, I do ask that you respectfully dodge her.”

You laugh, nudging him back.

“I make zero promises. Also, barf. Future marriage? Since when are you so adult?”

“What do you want me to call my wedding? A hangout?”

“Obviously.”

He rolls his eyes as you both focus on the view, the city lights shining beneath the plane.

“Pick a date?”

“Maybe after we finish filming season four,” he says.

“That’s so long from now. What happened to ‘oh I can’t wait another second to spend the rest of my life with her’” you respond, mimicking his voice.

“Quit it. I can’t actually. But we want things to settle before we get married.”

You frown.

“Are you postponing your wedding because of me? Because I’m about to stir shit up?” you whisper.

You find out quickly that the combination of Historia, Danny, and Sareen - coupled with Sukuna’s willingness to do anything you ask of him - creates a monster of pettiness you could never dream of.

“No. Not you.” he responds.

He leans his head against the headrest, eyes focused on the fluorescent lights above. You mimic the motion, focusing on the little call lights and vents above the two of you.

“I’ve dreamed about my wedding to Mikasa for years. Basically since I’ve known her.”

“Gag. You guys are so sweet it makes my stomach hurt.”

“I always imagined it in a specific way. Her dress is simple, because Mikasa isn’t one for theatrics, despite how hysterical she gets. It’s got a short train but she has a pretty, flowing veil. Her hair is long again, her cheeks are pink, and she looks perfect.”

You smile, heart burning for Mikasa and her sweet love.

“Levi and Hange are there, pretending not to cry. Connie and Sasha get too drunk during the reception, Reiner’s making some weirdly inappropriate speech but it’s sweet because it’s him. No one knows how he got the microphone, by the way. Annie and Armin are kissing in the photobooth and get caught.”

“God. They’re doing more than kissing, that’s for sure.”

He snickers. And then sighs before talking again.

“You’re the maid of honor. And Eren’s the best man. You guys get to stand on opposite sides of us and sneak each other secret looks, ones only you understand while we’re getting married. Because all you both have is the fucking audacity, always eye fucking each other everywhere, even at our wedding.”

You smile through the sting. Eren did love his prolonged eye contact.

“And when we do our first dance, you both write us a sweet love song that puts into words what it’s like to love Mikasa. It makes it perfect. That I get to start my life with Mikasa on a high note and that our two best friends get to be a part of it.” he states, chest deflating.

You swallow hard.

“You both helped me sneak into Mikasa’s room so I could sleep next to her. Covered for us whenever Levi almost caught us, even if it meant you both got in trouble. Eren’s let me talk about her for hours on end, unlike Connie and Reiner who thought it was stupid. He even told me to tell her I loved her first, even though I was scared. Helped me plan our first date, how I proposed, I-”

He stops, voice quiet when he talks again.

“We’re not getting married right now, but not because of you. It’s because I’m having trouble getting over the fact that my wedding isn’t going to be how I’ve always dreamed it was. Because of Eren.”

You wrap your arm into his and lean your head against his shoulder, which he returns by resting his head against yours.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“Give him hell for me?”

“That’s a promise, Jean.”

Eren hates red carpets. The flashing lights, the screaming voices, and his head being pulled twenty places at once as people scream his name. The novelty of it all - of the excitement, of the rush, of people so intently asking you questions and hanging onto your answers - is long gone for Eren.

Luckily for him, he doesn’t have to talk much during the interview. Hyla talks for him.

“Eren. How do you feel being nominated for Best Actor in a TV Series?” the interviewer asks, holding the microphone up to him.

Hyla, who's hanging off of his arm, excitedly answers for him, cheeks gleaming as she talks.

“So thrilled. This has been Eren’s dream since he was little, when he started filming Attack on Titan. I’m excited to see it finally come true for him.” she says, reaching forward to pinch his cheek.

Eren gives a polite smile as he moves halfway down the carpet, eyeing Lana at his side who makes a gagging motion before they both turn back to the cameras. Except all the photographers in front of him - who were intently snapping pictures of him and Hyla - have all run to the other side of the carpet, back at the start and are making loud cheering sounds as the flashes go off.

Hyla drops her hand from his as Lana walks up, lightly pushing Hyla to the side as she links her own arm in Eren’s.

“Who do you think it is?”

“Ten bucks it's Gojo. Maybe this time it’s a dog suit.” he murmurs, earning a laugh with Lana.

“Dog-jo.” Lana states.

“If you say Daddy’s home.” he sings, in a high-pitched voice, which has the two of them laughing.

They both slide up and peer through the side of the crowd, the group of people on the carpet crowded to watch what everyone was so keen to take a picture of, paparazzi going as far as nearly climbing on top of each other, to get past the rope.

And when Eren catches sight of what it is, who it is that has them acting up like this, the air gets tangled in his throat. And he’s crushing Lana’s arm into his.

It’s you. Unlike he’s ever seen you.

Eren gets it. The whole branding thing that Sareen and Danny leaned into. That you were a sweet lover girl, who wrote happy songs - about love, friendship, the sweetness that comes with it all. Which melted into everything, including how your team styled you.

Always modest, soft outfits. Light colors - pink, purples, pastel blues that were willowy and warm, like you. Not bold, not daring, but familiar and soft.

But the way you’re dressed now, you’ve done a full send to the other side. A dark, black dress, perfectly accentuating every curve of your body, matching with gloves that go all the way up to your biceps. And cover up your fish tattoo.

Eren’s eyes are watering. To see shoulders he’s kissed hundreds of times, your neck that he’s left tons of marks on, those sweet eyes that kill him and the lips he’s kissed, only a few feet away from him and not in his dreams.

He hasn’t seen you in three months. And what’s more, is every deep dive search he did of you on the internet - embarrassingly so - was only the barrage of hatred that people were sending towards you, not anything mentioning how you actually were or if you were even seen in public.

Sometimes Eren thought you were dead. And he knows that if you were, it was his hands that killed you.

You’re standing in the middle still, lights flashing against your glittery makeup, the softest of smiles on your face as you twirl around the carpet, which elicits a grandiose amount of cheers from the paparazzi as they start asking you questions.

Are you performing tonight?

Who are you here with?

Where have you been the last three months?

Eren’s sweating. Because the mix of emotions - of this entire thing - has suddenly worsened tenfold. You’re here. You’re okay. And you look beautiful. The way he’s seen you hundreds of times - in the confines of your bedroom, in hotel rooms, on the beach, but now out in the open.

There’s another round of cheers as Sukuna, of all people, walks up next to you. And the next scene is enough to upset his stomach, to vomiting level, and enough to finally get Hyla to walk over and watch. Lana’s the only thing bracing him in the moment, her light nudges indicating they should walk away.

But all Eren can do is stare. He’s sixteen years old, watching the girl he likes get kissed on the stage while announcing an award. And now he’s twenty two years old, watching the girl he loves - in his own sick and twisted way - all dolled up on the red carpet but millions of miles away from him.

Sukuna walks up and gives you a bright smile, which has you leaning forward and cupping his face in your hands. You’re both smiling at each other so hard, so warm that everyone else around you is cheering. And deep, burning jealousy stings in Eren’s chest once again.

He watches Sukuna pull you in, hand cradling the back of your neck and his eyes closed as he hugs you - knowing he’s surely breathing in that sweet, flowery smell you always seemed to emanate. And then you’re playfully pushing Sukuna away as you try to snap your own pictures, which only has Sukuna only moving closer. And the paparazzi cheering louder.

Sukuna’s pulling down the edge of the glove, leaning down to press the longest kiss of Eren’s life to your skin, right where he knows your tattoo is, as he watches your cheeks burn pink and the crowd erupt. Sukuna’s hand now resting carefully against your waist, against the black fabric of your dress and Eren’s realizing that he truly, in earnest, is not strong enough for this. For the smug, knowing smiles on both of your faces.

Eren knows that you know you look good. And that you know you’ve got their attention.

And that you have to know, surely with full confidence, that you’re driving him insane. That Sukuna purposely kissed the spot on your skin that was proof that you once belonged to him.

“God. She’s really leaning into the whole slut thing, huh?” Hyla states, which finally draws Eren - and Lana’s - attention away from the two of them.

“God. You’re really leaning into the whole jealous ‘girlfriend’ thing aren’t you?” Lana asks, rolling her eyes as she drags Eren to the side of the carpet, as Sukuna and Y/N walk past.

Except, the two of you turn your heads and bee line straight to where the three of them are standing, which has Eren’s palms sweating and his skin burning as you look at him. And the breeze pushes that flowery, lavender smell into his nose. That block in his chest, that’s been sitting there for the past few years, is paralyzing.

The darkness around your eyes, they only accentuate how big they really are, the glitter dusted perfectly against your skin, and your lips - full and pink that Eren can’t help but stare. You divert your gaze and look at Lana, to his left.

“Hi La-La. You look very pretty today. Pink is your color.” you say, the familiarity of your voice making Eren’s heart ache.

Lana, albeit a bit shocked you’re even speaking to her in the first place, extends her hand, reaching out to hold yours.

“Thank you, Tinky-Winky. You’re gorgeous. A vision in black.” Lana responds, giving you a smile which you blissfully return.

Eren’s sweating. He’s in his own personal hell right now.

“Nice dress, Y/N, Not your usual look.” Hyla states, each syllable harsh as it falls out of her mouth.

Never mind. Now, he’s really in his own personal hell.

“Pretty, isn’t she?” Sukuna asks, brown eyes glaring into Hyla’s.

“So, you’re dating then?” Hyla asks, crossing her hands across her chest.

The two of you don’t respond, giving each other knowing smiles, as Sukuna only leans into you more, leaving Eren entirely unsure of what’s unfolding in front of him.

“Figures. You always did have a thing for sluts.”

“Hyla.” Lana and Eren state, matching warning tones in their voices.

“The only person I’ve ever dated is you. But I’m glad you’re self aware about what you are.” Sukuna responds, taking the bait.

You walk closer, tilting your head to the side as you look at Hyla.

“You might want to keep him under wraps today. He’s always had a thing for me in dresses.” you state, giving the two of them sickly sweet smiles.

It’s the one time he’s seen Hyla stutter. Granted, the way you’re smiling at her, leaning into her space with your shoulders pushed back - Eren understands the feeling. He would hate to be the next person to piss you off.

Eren pales. Any anger you have for Hyla must be tenfold when it comes to him. And he realizes why you’re here, in a black dress of all things.

Revenge.

“Of course, you would be the one to tempt him while you’re with another guy. You really are a whore you know that?”

“It’s not my fault your boyfriend is dragging me to beaches and begging me to kiss him. Granted, I understand that kissing you is so revolting that it makes him vomit. I can empathize with the desperation, Eren.” you respond, giving the three of them a smile.

Hyla’s so infuriated that she’s stomping down the length of the red carpet to where the rest of her friends are, which has you turning your gaze to Lana, who's smiling. You give her a wink which she beams at, as you return your gaze to Eren. You give him one last look up and down before you walk to the end, the cameras following you.

Before Sukuna can walk away, Eren pulls him back by the collar, whispering in his ear.

“Sukuna.”

“What?”

“How is she? Really?”

Sukuna sighs, Eren’s pitiful green eyes nearly pissing him off.

“Look at her. How do you think she is?”

Eren deflates.

“She’s going to give them exactly what they want, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you make any attempt to even stop her?”

“Do you seriously think I could? After what you said? This is your fault, Eren. You made the wrong move.” Sukuna mutters.

“Well, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Seriously, in earnest, tell me. Because you take the high and mighty ground here telling me I make mistakes but offer no other fucking option as to what I’m supposed to do.”

Sukuna shoves Eren into the backdrop.

“Watch yourself tonight. I’m serious. Don’t act like you didn’t know better when you know I warned you ahead of time. You dug your own grave. Now sit in it, Jaeger.” he warns, stalking off to the end where you’re waiting before the paparazzi catch on.

The anger simmers off of Eren, the frustration building, as he storms right past, straight into the auditorium inside and takes his seat. He’s had enough of the red carpet.

He leans over the seat, placing his head in between his knees as he pulls at the strands of his hair, trying to even his breaths as he tries to still the panic in his chest. He feels a hand on his shoulder, which he leans into.

“Fuck, Lana. What are we supposed to do now?”

He looks up to not find Lana, swallowing hard at the sight of Scott Clarkson himself, standing in front of him. With Danny and Sareen at his sides.

You shake the microphone nervously in your hand, the familiarity and sleight of hands of performing coming back to you as you watch the stages move up and down - Historia directing the crew to perfectly place the props in place.

“Your outfits are in the back room. You should change now.” the lady states, striking through something on her clipboard as you gesture for Historia to join you.

She nods as she runs up to your side, hand in yours as you both start nervously walking to the back. The outfits, they’re matching identical sets - blue for Historia and green for you. As you both slip your outfits on, you hold your phone out for Historia and swallow the lump in your throat.

“What?”

“Go on Twitter. I-I want to know what they’re saying about the red carpet. But I don’t-I need you to filter out the bad stuff. I need to know people won’t throw tomatoes at me when I come out there with you.”

She nods, unlocking your phone and heads to the app. There’s a smile on her face as she scrolls, blue eyes wide.

“Y/N L/N is trending. Along with the tags Eren Jaeger, Ryomen Sukuna, Revenge Dress, and Ryomen Sukuna can you fight?”

You snort, cheeks warm.

“Anything bad?”

“No. It’s all about how hot you and Sukuna are. They’re going feral for the tattoo kiss. And-and talking about how pissed Eren and Hyla look today. Eren especially, apparently he didn’t even do the entire carpet?”

“Good.”

She shuts your phone off and hands it back, wrapping her arms around yours as you give her your best smile.

“We still have five minutes. I just don’t want to go out there. Your doppelganger is freaking me the fuck out.” she whispers, earning a laugh from you.

“Imagine being me. She put on the beach outfit and a shiver went down my spine. It’s one thing to look like me but it’s even worse when she’s literally wearing my clothes.”

“Danny and Sareen are insane for the tattoo decal. It looks just like yours.”

You nod, facing the mirror as you rub your hands against the ink, the sight of it making your stomach turn. And something twinge in your chest for that memory, of those glittering awards, of performing next to Eren, only for him to be whispering in your ear as you got the ink.

The two of you walk out as you take your spots on the stage, waiting for Historia to rise onto the stage first. And you thank the gods that Danny and Sareen pulled strings to make sure that Eren had a front row seat.

The waiters move around the rows with trays, drinks rimmed with crystals on the edge and bright blue liquid in them being passed out. Lana excitedly reaches for two, nearly shivering in excitement in her seat.

“Lana.”

“It’s my night off, Eren. Don’t be a buzzkill. And god knows we can’t do this sober.” she murmurs, eyeing Myka and Hyla at the sides, phones up in the air as they optimize their angles.

“Well, at least share them.” he responds, taking the second glass and letting the liquid burn his throat as it goes down.

The lights dim as he leans back into his chair, Gojo and Geto taking to the stage to open the awards shows. The cameras all around are suddenly whirring, their loud voices booming through the speakers.

“Who's doing the ensemble?” Lana asks, slurping through her drink.

“Jujutsu Kaisen.”

She nods, eyes focused on the stage revolving as they set up for Historia’s performance.

“Why did you guys never do one for Attack on Titan?”

“Levi and Hange got offered it for Season Three, but they want to save it for Season Four and the finale. Let’s see if we even make it there in one piece.”

They both quiet down as Historia rises to the stage, for the opening performance, in a glittering outfit as she starts singing. Eren’s half focused on the show - mind running elsewhere as he scans the room from his vantage point to find where you were. To indiscreetly ogle you, in your pretty black dress. But the seat next to Sukuna is filled by Yuuji as he looks around the room for you.

To grant himself the small joys in life. Catching the ends of your smile.

Now I'm a homewrecker, I'm a slut I got death threats filling up semi-trucks Tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice All because I liked I'm a hot topic on your tongue I'm a rebound gettin' 'round stealin' from the young Tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice All because I liked a boy

Myka and Hyla snicker at his sides at the line, tears falling out of their eyes at the line.

“Because I liked a boy?” Hyla repeats.

“What now?” he murmurs.

“Like that’s going to convince people she’s not a lesbian.” Myka states.

Lana, clearly well past her tolerance after not drinking for so long, takes her drink and splashes it into Myka’s face, earning a good amount of protest as she runs off, Historia singing on the stage.

“Okay, Lana. Let’s not end up on the front page of WBS today.”

“What? She was pissing me off.”

“Check yourself, Lana.”

She rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair to keep watching the performance.

“Who called Historia a homewrecker?” Lana asks.

“I mean. I’m sure someone must have at some point. Do they need a reason to say what they do about her? ”

Lana shrugs as Eren watches Historia slide to the side, as you rise up on the platform, the microphone fixed in your hand as you sing.

So that’s where you were.

The crowd erupts into cheers as you strut into the middle of the stage, at you and Historia together again hand in hand, as you reiterate the chorus for a second time. With your eyes, razor focused on him and Hyla. He can feel the cameras moving to the two of them, trying his best to contain his shock.

Now I'm a homewrecker, I'm a slut I got death threats filling up semi-trucks Tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice All because I liked a boy

Eren swallows hard. And then the music cuts out as you and Historia scutter out to the edges of the stage and the middle stage rises. Clearly a scene set up to look like a beach, there’s two people seated on the blanket in the middle, hands linked together.

“Oh my fucking god. Eren.” Lana says, hand squeezing his.

“What?”

“It’s you. You and Y/N. On the beach.”

He refocuses his eyes to the two people on the stage and feels his cheeks burning when he realizes. The girl on the left is one he knows all too well. It’s the girl Hyla picked to impersonate you during the Girlfriend skit. And the one on the left - a guy with short hair, green eyes, and the exact jacket he was wearing that night.

“Do you still belong to me? Are you still mine?” the guy repeats, his voice sounding wimpy.

“We shouldn’t. We can’t.”

“Don’t make me beg. You’re the only thing that’s mine.”

Eren feels the chill run down his spine. At the scene, the memory burning in his mind, as he rewatches it on stage. And everyone else gets to dig into it too, the way Hyla did when she found out.

The guitar, the tattoos on their arms, the fact that it’s the same dress from that night, the same outfit he was wearing down to the details.

He can’t even be mad. He deserves this one.The music starts up again and you walk out again, singing again.

When everything went down, we'd already broken up Please tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice All because I liked a boy Ah (A boy) Ah (A boy) Ah All because I liked a boy

You give him a satisfying smirk, reveling in the shocked look on his face and his pink cheeks, as you wrap your hand in Historia’s, the two of you lifting them together in the air as they all start chanting your names back to you.

“Can I talk to you guys?”

Geto and Gojo look up from the cards they’re shuffling in their hands and give you a nod as they set the cues down, hands on your shoulders as they lead you to the other side of the stage.

“I never got to thank you. For letting me take over your ensemble showcase. I know you guys are really proud of this show and the entire cast and I appreciate you letting me use the time.”

Gojo smiles, giving your shoulder a harsh squeeze as he brushes it away.

“We love drama. And you’re part of our cast now too. Even though we’re basically giving you the Junpei treatment.”

You give the two of them a smile.

“I actually appreciate it, though. This-this is important for me and you’re kind enough to support me.”

“Sukuna gave us a very convincing talk. About you, your character - about what a big deal it was to you to take your name back like this. We all but had to listen. And power to you for how you’re doing it.” Geto responds, giving you a smile.

“Sure you don’t like him? At least if he calls you a whore in public it won’t come out of nowhere. He’d definitely say it to your face first!” Gojo says, laughing. Geto glares and immediately smacks him in the stomach.

“Ignore him. He was raised in a barn. By wolves.” Geto responds, definitively. They both walk away with smiles on their faces, talking in hushed tones as they head towards the stage.

You readjust the ends of the beaded dress as you give yourself one last look in the mirror, hands nervously itching with the thought of the performance ahead of you in your mind.

“Need help?” Marco asks, gesturing to your shoes.

“Yeah, thanks.” you respond and he gives you a non-committal nod.

You slip the garter belt over your knee before dipping your legs into the boots, Marco’s hands quick to steady you from behind the second you waver in the air. You give him a grateful smile through the mirror before turning around, hands firm on his arms as you talk.

“I-I really appreciate you, Marco. I know you wanted to stay neutral with all the stuff that happened so I know that this is a big deal that you’re doing this for me.” you say.

“I’m on your side. But you know, his too. We-we all grew up together and I just think if we all talked about everything we- ”

“Did you try to talk to him?” you ask.

You know the answer. Eren didn’t even bother to pick up his phone.

“Yeah, but-”

“Marco. I think we all know he’s long gone. He-he’s not our Eren anymore.”

“We haven’t even had a chance to talk this through yet.” Marco responds, voice soft as he gathers your hair before placing it flat against your shoulders.

“Can’t talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk to you first, Marco. You can’t help people who don’t want to be helped.”

“I just feel like I could have tried harder. This couldn’t have come out of nowhere.”

You place your hands on his shoulders and squeeze hard.

“It’s not your fault. He was always going to be like this, nothing you could do would stop him.”

He nods, halfheartedly, as the group of them all whistle as you walk out - the entire cast of Attack on Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen - on the side of the stage.

“You look sexy, Y/N.”

“Stop it, Mikasa. You’re making me blush.” you respond, giving her a wink.

“Yeah. Stop it, Mikasa.” Jean grumbles, giving you an irritated smile.

“She’s going to steal your girl.” Yuuji states, giving Jean an elbow to the side.

“Not if I do it first.” Nobara says, giving you a big gleeful smile as she places a kiss to your cheek.

You smile at them as you take your little spot on the cue, giving them all a thumbs up that they all return. And rise to the stage, for the second time, to end Eren Jaeger’s career.

For the second time this night, Eren’s looking for you in the crowded room and finding you in the last place he wants to see you. On the stage, singing with that venomous look in your eyes.

“Wait. Is she in Jujutsu Kaisen?” Myka asks, leaning over Lana whose cheeks are bright pink from the way she’s been downing the drinks every time they pass.

“She must be if she’s in the fucking ensemble performance.”

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

Your outfit, following the trend of almost everything you wore tonight, has the hole burning into Eren’s stomach. And that look that you’re giving, that you’re directing towards him as you stare into his eyes, has his cheeks burning with embarrassment and shame.

That and the fact that you’ve been walking his look alike on the stage like a dog. And made references to every hurt piece of him that he’s shared with you. His strained relationship with his brother, the fact that he was all but mediocre in the acting industry with only three awards to his name, and that he vomited when he kissed Hyla on that yacht in front of the entire world on stage.

You’re coming for blood. He’s getting drained of it.

He spots Lana to his left scrolling on her phone between the seats, eyebrows pushed together in frustration.

“Is it that bad?” he asks.

“Not good, Eren. They hate you. Love her. Everything in between.”

“More proof, right?” Eren asks.

“You bet.” she responds

The world moves on, another day another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

And each consecutive image you put on stage gets worse, only twisting in Eren’s mind in how he’s going to swirl his way out of this one. Identical, plastic models sniffing up lies of cocaine - clearly meant to be Hyla and her friends. His doppelganger, this time, very literally sucking the dick of fame. And the worst of all, the bridge.

You stand in the center, the music slowing down as you rise into the air, above the crowd of people. And suddenly the light shines bright on them - on the cast of Attack on Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen - trying to crawl to the top of the pedestal you’re standing on. Showing that you’re above them all, exactly like he said you were.

And what’s worse? The first person you kick off is Historia.

I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

“I don’t get it. Why did she just kick Historia off?” Myka asks.

“I think you should lay off the crack. It’s really degenerating your neurons in there. You already had so little to work with.” Lana says, placing her hands flat against Myka’s cheeks as she aggressively shakes her head.

“That’s what Eren said in his interview. That Y/N would do anything, to get to the top of the pedestal. Use people to help her just to kick them off. It’s smart.” Hyla states, swirling the straw in her glass between her fingers.

You lay against your seat, Reiner’s hands on your shoulders massaging into the taut skin as the anxiety builds of your last performance, of your closing act of the night. You’ve successfully tangled your way through the two you had before - virtually similar to your pop songs, but a little bit more aggressive. But the third. The entire nature of it - so unfamiliar, so unlike anything you’ve ever done that it has the waves of panic building in your stomach.

“What’s the next award? It’s the last one, right?” you ask.

“Best Actor.” Historia responds, tangling her ankle with yours under the chair.

Levi and Hange walk out onto the stage, hands pressed together as they give each other sweet smiles, and the gold envelope glitters in their hand.

“Fuck. He won, didn’t he?” you ask.

“Huh? Why do you say that?”

“Levi and Hange are presenting. That-that means Eren won.” you respond, Jean giving a deep heavied sigh as you all focus your eyes back up to Levi and Hange on the stage.

They’re readjusting the microphones as they clear their throats, voices booming through the speakers of the auditorium.

“The fact that we’re standing here is proof enough that a very talented actor has won one of the most coveted awards tonight.” Hange says, a wide smile spread across their face.

You give Jean a smug smirk.

“We won’t be mincing our words. This kid has been special to us since he was fifteen and while we commend all the other actors in this category, we’d like to take our time to comment on how far he’s come. We’ve had the privilege of seeing him from the start, how far he’s grown to where he is now.”

“Eren. You’ve always been our sweet boy, straight from the start. So determined, so ambitious in what you wanted to do. Many people were quick to write you off as a straight off the bat from the work of your parents and your brother that came before you but…..your zest, your genuine want to be seen in your art has always stood out to us. We truly commend your dedication to your art, one you’ve possessed since you were younger than half of the idiots in our industry.” Hange says.

“I’ve pushed you around kid. Farther than anyone else but only because you’re the one who could handle it. I know that you’re one to take what’s thrown at you and push it forward, to make your way out of it to do something great. I’ve never said it to you often, but I hope you know that we’re immensely proud of you.” Levi says, warm tears filling his eyes.

“Read the card, Levi. Poor kid has been itching to have his hands on one of these for seven years now.”

Levi smiles, even wider when he reads the name on the card and leans into the microphone.

“The award for Actor in a Best TV Series goes to Eren Jaeger.”

The crowd erupts into cheers as everyone stands, the lot of you included, as you all crane your necks towards Eren, who's stuck in his seat as Lana shakes his arm at his side, excitedly jumping up and down next to him. Eren gives her a nod as she pulls him up, wrapping his arms around her before walking straight onto the stage, the look on his face solemn as Levi and Hange wrap his arms around him next, pressing kisses to the sides of his cheeks as they hand him the award.

The worst part? All you want to do is be by his side. Congratulating him on the first thing he told you in confidence, the one you’ve both held over your heads for years.

Eren sighs as he looks down at the award, tears spilling out of his eyes as he looks back up at the crowd, eyes landing on yours. You swallow hard as he looks at you, for too long, before walking straight off the stage.

Without making a speech.

Levi and Hange are quick to follow, confused looks on their faces as they rush after him. Gojo and Geto are pushed onto the stage as they push send to commercial, the ushers at the side quick to lift you up and lead you back stage, for your performance - earlier than you expected.

When you get backstage, Eren’s crying real tears - and arguing with Levi and Hange this time.

“What the fuck was I supposed to do?” he screams, shoving Levi off to the side as he attempts to storm off, Hange and Levi catching the ends of his sleeve before he can.

“Eren. Just calm down. We’ll help you. The moves you’re making are smart if you’ll follow them through and-”

“No, Hange! Fuck this. I-I can’t do this. Do you know how humiliating this entire night has been for me? To have every fucking thing I’ve done thrown in my face just to win this now?”

That’s your last straw.

You tap on his shoulder and when he turns your way, you slap him straight across the face. He brings his hand up to his cheek, rubbing the pink spot as you feel your blood burn under your skin.

“Are you fucking serious, Eren?”

“What?’ he responds, shock apparent in his voice.

“You got what you fucking wanted. You got the award you’ve been dreaming about. And-and you’re throwing a bitch fit back here about it?”

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand, Y/N.” he responds, murmuring under his voice as he makes the move to walk away, Levi and Hange opening their arms for him to move.

“What don’t I understand? Make it make sense to me because it’s pretty fucking clear. You have everything you want and you’re still not fucking happy, are you?”

“Is this what you think I want, Y/N? Do you think I enjoy you yelling at me? Do you think I like Hange and Levi being disappointed in me or even care about this fucking plastic in hand?” he spits, face a few feet from yours as he clenches his hands around the trophy, before dropping it onto the floor and letting it crack.

“God. How many times are you going to keep breaking shit without any care in the world? The camera, the fucking award you picked over me, Connie’s fucking livelihood, my heart. All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. From the start.”

“Y/N. That’s enough.” Levi says, tone firm.

“No. No, he has some fucking audacity saying the things he did to me. That I’m not famous enough for you? Think long and hard, Eren. You’ve had every fucking card stacked in your favor - famous parents, real talent, two people who have fucking mentored you through the entire thing. The entire thing and you still couldn’t get this award until now. Where the hell do you get off telling me all that? I’m better than you. I’ve always been better than you.”

Eren sighs, taking a deep breath as he turns back to face you.

“You’re an asshole, Eren. Zeke stopped fucking talking to you, there’s a reason why everyone sided with me and not you and maybe it’s because you’re the fucking problem.”

“Y/N.” Hange states, tone warning again.

“You’re impossible, Eren. Who-who the fuck plays games with people like that? I-I fucking adored you, Eren. You were my entire world. Hell, you still fucking are. And the fact that you knew that, that you let me get that involved with you when you had no intention of seeing any of it through, of knowing me and loving me. You’re horrible.” you spit out, voice cracking as the tears spill out of your eyes.

Eren takes a deep breath before walking, stopping short of the curtain, the grand piano sitting in the middle of the stage. And he turns back, the look on his face so pained when he talks again.

“You want to know how I know our love wasn’t real, Y/N?” Eren asks, voice strained in his throat.

“Please. I’d love to hear it.”

“I had my suspicions. That you ended things with me because your team wanted you to end things with Ricky James. People had been whispering it in my ears for days. For months, that I wasn’t good enough for you. But I pushed past that, because I know you. I knew that you loved me. You released London Boy and my first instinct was to not believe it. You started dating him and I still thought it was fake. You filmed movies with Sukuna and did god knows what for all of it. I had faith that you loved me. You convinced me that you had faith in me.”

You swallow hard, bile burning down your throat.

“Our love wasn’t real because you never extended that grace to me. You didn’t have any faith in me like I did in you.” Eren responds, pushing past you as he walks off.

You watch him walk off as Danny and Sareen hold your outfit for your last performance in the air, the flowy purple dress for your last song, You wipe your tears, head reeling, as they all but push you into the room, doing the motions for you as Eren’s words ring in your ears. And suddenly you’re on the stage, sitting on the piano bench, a few feet away from Eren - eyes rimmed pink as Lana rubs circles into his back.

You place your hands on the keys, the tears still streaming down your face as you start playing the piano. And the second you start playing, you look to your right to see Eren’s head in his knees, sobs racking out of his chest, as you start to sing the song, fighting back your own.

And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream How could anybody do the things you did so easily? And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine But you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong

All you can think of is Eren hovering over your shoulders, hands resting on top of yours as he moves your fingers, his silent cheers whenever you played the chords on your own. You fight the shake in your hands as you sing on.

Ooh, do you think I deserved it all? Ooh, your flowers filled with vitriol You built me up to watch me fall You have everything, and you still want more

You shakily stop, piano pausing as you reach foward to wipe the tears on your face, granting you cheers from the crowd. Before you place your hands on the keys for the last time, finishing off your nightmare.

It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong I try to be tough, I try to be mean But even after all this, you're still everything to me And I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine But you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet It takes strength to forgive, but

You finish as you look to the crowd, all of them standing in the air as you stand up from the bench, knees all but ready to buckle as they give you a standing ovation. And instead of Gojo and Geto walking out, to close out the show the way you rehearsed, Levi and Hange are standing on the stage again, solemn looks on their faces as they hold a golden envelope in their hands.

You choke out your sob.

No.

This is not how you’re going to get this.

“We’re back for-for something that’s been long overdue.” Hange says, hands shaking as they face towards you, wiping the tears off of your face as the despair sinks in.

“Y/N. You’ve always been talented from the start. You’ve always been humble, down to Earth, and kind in a way that many people in our industry haven’t seen. It’s why we think you were such a fan favorite during the early years of Attack on Titan - you had extended grace and humanity to kids who were all but robbed of it from living in the spotlight since the second they were born.” Levi says, tone hollow as he talks.

“And beyond upstanding character, a genuine love for those around you, your willingness to push yourself, to make yourself better through all facets of your art has always been admirable. You've always been ambitious but brave and kind despite it all. We’re immensely proud of you, kid.” Hange says.

Levi opens the envelope, reading off as the crowd erupts into cheers.

“Y/N L/N has been on our radar for her work since the second we caught our first sight of her. It was only appropriate that she won for the best of her works, hence the perceived delay in the commendation of this award. For her acting work - in the infamous “Thank You” scene of Attack on Titan, for her poise fully skilled dances on her Ribbons tour, and her mastery of the piano in her song the grudge, the Institute is happy to induct you into one of our most timeless awards - the triple threat.” Levi reads off, the crowd only getting louder as they both come to your sides, hands warm and hard on your shoulders as every part of your body aches in their arms and the cheers burn your ears.

You follow Eren’s suit. And make no speech as you storm off the stage.

You can feel your chest heaving up and down as you crouch to the ground, knees hiked to your chest as you push your head into your lap, tears staining the fabric of your dress. The air in your nose is bearing, eyes searing red as Levi and Hange are at your sides, rubbing into your skin as they whisper words that barely make it to your ears.

You look up to find a crowd of people - Historia, Jean, Mikasa, and Marco - walking up to excitedly push you into hugs and press kisses to your cheeks as you feel your body get tangled in the crowd, your emotions, your mind entirely elsewhere.

“God, Y/N. You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” Danny says, wrapping his arms around you as Sareen presses a kiss to your cheek.

“So we’re thinking. You should do a residency tour. Maybe we can call it “the grudge” so you can perform that song at the end of each night. And people will love it since you used to always end the tours with New Year’s Day but now it’ll be this gut wrenching song you wrote about Eren.”

“Sorry, what?” you croak out.

“We’ll hit the big cities. Only the United States, fifteen nights in each. Then you can do your triple threat interview and performance at the next award show.” Danny states, already scrolling through the logistics on your phone.

You sigh.

“You’re fired.”

“Huh?” they both say, laughing as they lean over to look at the phone.

“You’re fired. Both of you.”

“You can’t be serious, can you?”

“Dead.” you respond, glaring into their eyes.

“We’ll talk to you when you’re thinking clearly.” Sareen states.

“No. No, you’re not going to talk to me at all. I”m-I’m done with you guys. You said I would get to stop running if I fucking did this.” you respond.

“Oh, sweetheart. Surely you know we weren’t serious?” Sareen says, a shocked look on her face.

You shove past them and the entire group of people as you move towards your little room in the back, locking the door and barricading your vanity against it. And you let the cries reach you, the air suffocate you you, the words, the cheers, the last seven years ring in your mind till you’ve cried out every last fiber of your being.

His words ring in your mind. On the very first night, when you got tangled up in this in the first place.

“You’re next level. When your dream comes true, I’ll be right beside you. Telling you that I told you so.” Eren says.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, Y/N. We’re best friends. It’s you and me till the end. We’ll be laughing about this when it happens to us.”

You cry until you can’t anymore. And mourn that the one part of your dream you always wanted - Eren standing next to you telling you he told you so - was the one part you didn’t get to have.

an: guys isn't it so sweet!!! their dreams came true :DD

next part linked here

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